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08 Our Mission To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Co-editors Rachel Leibrock, Nick Miller Staff Writers Janelle Bitker, Raheem F. Hosseini Assistant Editor Anthony Siino Editorial Coordinator Becca Costello Editor-at-large Melinda Welsh Contributors Daniel Barnes, Ngaio Bealum, Alastair Bland, Rob Brezsny, Jim Carnes, Deena Drewis, Joey Garcia, Cosmo Garvin, Blake Gillespie, Lovelle Harris, Jeff Hudson, Jim Lane, Garrett McCord, Kel Munger, Kate Paloy, Patti Roberts, Ann Martin Rolke, Shoka

05 STREETALK 07 LETTERS 08 NEwS + BEATS 13 ScoREKEEpER 14 FEATuRE SToRy 18 ARTS&cuLTuRE 21 NighT&dAy 23 diSh + off mEnu 28 STAgE

30 FiLm 32 muSic + Sound AdvicE 40 ASK JoEy 43 ThE 420 59 15 miNuTES

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coVER dESigN By hAyLEy doShAy

Creative Director Priscilla Garcia Art Director Hayley Doshay Associate Art Director Brian Breneman Ad Design Manager Serene Lusano Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Designer Kyle Shine Design Services Manager Anne Lesemann Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Evan Duran, Wes Davis, Luke Fitz, Taras Garcia, Michael Miller, Bobby Mull, Shoka, Darin Smith, Lauran Worthy

Executive Coordinator Jessica Takehara Director of First Impressions David Lindsay Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Daniel Bowen, Heather Brinkley, Mike Cleary, Jack Clifford, Lydia Comer, John Cunningham, Lob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Garry Foster, Joanna Gonzalez-Brown, Greg Meyers, Kenneth Powell, Gilbert Quilatan, Lloyd Rongley, Lolu Sholotan

Chief Marketing Officer Rick Brown Director of Sales and Advertising Corey Gerhard Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Olla Swanson, Joy Webber, Kelsi White Advertising Consultants Joseph Barcelon, Meghan Bingen, Angel DeLaO, Teri Gorman, Dusty Hamilton, Stephanie Johnson, Dave Nettles, Lee Roberts, Julie Sherry Sales Assistant Matt Kjar Director of Et Cetera Will Niespodzinski Custom Publications Editor Michelle Carl Custom Publications Managing Editor Shannon Springmeyer Custom Publications Writer Kate Gonzales

President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Chief Operations Officer Deborah Redmond Human Resources Manager Tanja Poley Business Manager Nicole Jackson Accounts Receivable Specialist Kortnee Angel Sweetdeals Coordinator Courtney DeShields Nuts & Bolts Ninja Christina Wukmir Senior Support Tech Joe Kakacek Developer John Bisignano System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins

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I’ve called the same Midtown apartment home for nearly a decade. Last month, my very reasonable landlords gently increased the rent. That’s fine. But they also commented on how I was paying far less than “market rate” for Midtown.

(I’m also cool with that!) This got me poking around on Craigslist: Holy mushroom apartment, central-city rents are tripping!

Is Midtown too damn hip? Are priced-out Bay Area folk invading? Is urban flight’s great reversal finally taking hold? Should we blame the damn Kings arena? Is there not sufficient supply? Or is this just good ol’ fashioned “economic recovery” at its worst?

I don’t have answers, or even data, but my hunch is that it’s all of these factors. More on this in a later issue. For now, just some thoughts— and complaining!

It’s frustrating, for instance, that central-city rents are outpacing inflation. Sacramento Bee scribe Chris Macias and I kickstarted a hashtag last week, “#MyFirstMidtownRent,” which really took hold on Twitter and Facebook. Dozens of people shared their rent stories. It was awesome.

For me, #MyFirstMidtownRent was in 2003, on G and 26th streets: $425 a month for a one-bedroom, spacious, gated—and with a pool and parking spot. A decade later, a similar one-bedroom goes for more than $1,000 a month, according to Craigslist listings. Have wages in the city kept pace with cost of living?

Again, I don’t have data. But I have doubts.

My concern is that the people who made Midtown a rad place don’t live here any more. And the young people who would make it exciting tomorrow won’t be able to afford it.

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“He Would Have to do sometHing supernatural to cHange it all.”

aSked at 38th and J StreetS:

What would Jesus do?

Ste ve Wharton

Mithr a ar aMbul a

debbie Morik aWa

dogwalker

ER nurse

Jesus would say, “You are doing well, but you are not there yet. You are kind to each other, but you are also cruel and harmful. Why do you harm each other? You shouldn’t take advantage of the weak or less fortunate. ...

If you focused your time doing good, it is amazing what you could accomplish.”

He would open up housing. He would go to the government and ask for more money to help these people. We do not have the money to take care of these mental health, indigent homeless people. It is almost like we are ignoring their health and the need to care for them.

I think he would be a little saddened. He would start with having us find a bit more common ground in our humanity. Not so much about what we do or where we come from, but remind us of how much easier this whole project of humanity is when we work together.

There are things we politicize that we shouldn’t.

knightcarl r ayMond

hoWard PoSner

floor supervisor

retired

barbar a o’connor

history professor

He would cry. The issue would be man’s inhumanity to man. ...

We can’t possibly justify it. He would have to do something supernatural to change it all, if we look at all of the stuff that is going on in the Middle East, Iran, Iraq, Syria.

teacher

He might, first and foremost, try to encourage us to stop buying crap we don’t need.

From there, it would span into the structures of society and economy that goes into making this unnecessary crap. He might want to then expand into changing the structure of the global economy.

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My heart goes out to those born into oppression and war. It is hard to think what life is like for them.

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Urban farming rules!

Re “No lawn. No pool. Hello, urban farm” by Janelle Bitker (SN&R Feature Story, September 24): Great article! This is an idea whose time has come! I hope that all these folks do really well and wish them all the luck in the world.

Gonzalo I. VerGara S acr am e nt o

Vinyl blows minds Re “Give it a spin” by Lovelle Harris (SN&R 15 Minutes, September 24): I enjoyed the 15 minutes of fame you gave to Tim Matranga and his vinyl.

If I may be so bold (as the inventor of the Doctor Who Syndrome, which is basically

apologizing for terrible things you’re going to do in the future), I would like to explain why vinyl has such an appeal over the other musical mediums of today. It’s not the music. It’s not the clarity of sound. Vinyl brings each and every person who ever sat on their bedroom floor and just played records back to that

time in their life when that was the one thing they actually looked forward to—as in, it used to be an occupation that if you had nothing better to do, you sat down with your friends, devoured everything that was written inside the album cover and hopefully on the record sleeve, and if you didn’t have that, then you listened to the record over and over again until you got every single word down on paper and in your head. There wasn’t a single one of us who wasn’t positive we could have played that ourselves, if only given the chance.

I shamefully admit to looking lyrics up on the Internet now, but truthfully, there was nothing so wonderful and childlike than to sit for hours with friends listening to music that blew our minds and our hearts.

Kristi Brda Citrus Heights

Sad sampling Re “A new island adventure”

by Garrett McCord (SN&R News, September 17): It didn’t seem like you ate a very diverse menu. No beef or pork selections? That’s very odd for Filipino food. (Oh wait, you had a skewer.) You might have had a better experience with a better planned meal. I mean, you had two kinds of adobo, no beef, no noodles— and like half the stuff you tried was desserts. I would have loved to hear more of what your companion thought about the food.

Tracy Magan Sacramento

Correction We ran the wrong photo of the New Plague in last week’s 8 Gigs show preview. Our bad!

The correct photo is online.

ONLINE BUZZ

On SaC POrChFeSt, a MidtOwn MUSiC FeStiVal that tOOk PlaCe On POrCheS: This is so midtown it makes my brain hurt, and smile.

JeramIe Clark

on the urban aGrICulture moVement happenInG In the CIty: Very happy to see this article make the cover of SN&R

JuJu kIrkland

on SaCramento County SuperVISor roberta maCGlaShan SteppInG down:

@SacNewsReview

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yah, she is the anti-cannabis witch

ChrIStIna areChIGa No clue who she is but she’s got a pretty bad ass name.

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Online Buzz contributions are culled from Facebook and are not edited for grammar, spelling or clarity.

PUSHIN’ TOO HARD

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Medical cannabis’ stock is rising—but not for everyone. illustration by brian breneman

Weed’s winners and losers On the heels of California’s landmark new medical-pot laws—and in advance of next year’s legalization debate—our writer looks at who’s high and who’s faded

by DaviD Downs

Any day now, Gov. Jerry Brown likely will sign into law a trio of bills that will regulate the world’s oldest and largest commercial medical-cannabis economy. And during the next few years, California’s $2.3 billion medi-pot industry will be transformed by official state licensing, legal profit-taking and regulatory oversight, including mandatory weed-testing.

8 | SN&R | 10.01.15

“Overall, this is a pretty good bill,” said Sean Luse, president of the California Cannabis Industry Association, of the eleventh-hour laws passed in September. “It’s not going to destroy medical marijuana in California.

It’ll cost more money and effort to be compliant. But it’s certainly doable.”

Meanwhile, it’s projected that Californians might sell about $2

billion per year in legal cannabis under full legalization, which likely will be on the ballot next November. That back-of-the-envelope estimate comes from the latest data out of Washington state, where 15 months of legal marijuana has resulted in $357 million in sales of pot products. California is 5.5 times more populous than Washington.

Californians are almost certain to vote

on at least one legalization initiative next Election Day. Washington officials reported last month that $357 million was sold from the start of legal sales through August 31. The sales figures count all types of transactions, from wholesaling to retailing, but retail sales comprised the bulk of the revenue at $250 million.

Sales are most brisk around Seattle, while several conservative eastern counties such as Walla Walla and Columbia reported zero dollars in legal cannabis revenue—a boon to the ongoing black market.

Cannabis sales have also generated an estimated $90 million in taxes— revenue that would otherwise be entirely flowing to criminals and gangs, experts argue. (Colorado has generated more than $100 million in sales taxes as well.)

Washington legalized cannabis in 2012 and began recreational sales in the middle of 2014, with just a few stores open, short supplies and high prices.

Since then, more than 100 stores have opened and Washington growers produced a glut of marijuana so big,

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Prices for wholesale marijuana crashed to as low as $1 per gram, growers report.

Yesterday, Washington officials also announced the state’s first deal with a Native American tribe that wants to get into cannabis. The Suquamish tribe agreed to charge the state’s excise tax to nontribal customers on tribal lands. The tribe’s first shop opens in November.

Here in California, the new rules passed in September won’t just yet translate to hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue. But there are winners and losers.

Let’s look at a few.

WInner: paTIenTs Nothing changes for patients, really. A doctor will still be able to recommend cannabis for them, and patients will still be able grow their own (assuming local laws allow it). They will also still be able to have a caregiver grow it for them.

Dispensaries will remain open. In a few years, all medical cannabis for sale will be lab-tested for mold, pesticides and potency.

And extracts will become cleaner, and licensed manufacturers will make butane hash oil in certified facilities, instead of blowing up garages.

WInner: reGUlaTed dIspensarIes California has hundreds of dispensaries with local permits that will have an early advantage under the state’s new dual localstate licensing system.

loser: soMe CareGIVers, ColleCTIVes The rules will cap the number of patients a caregiver can have at five. Anything higher runs into commercial marijuana licensing rules. California also will phase out collectives and cooperatives one year after the first commercial licenses are issued—around 2017.

WInner: sMall FarMers Regulations are a big win for small farms in counties that want pot agriculture. The state has unlimited amounts of small-scale farming licenses to hand out, but will limit large-scale farm licenses

and also cap the total acreage licensed to one person.

loser: BIG FarMers Some conservative counties with mega-farms, such as Butte, will likely never permit commercial cultivation.

Fees and taxes from the industry will be used to target outlaws.

WInner: IndUsTry, InVesTors and loBByIsTs

WInner: UnIons Legislation sponsor Assemblyman Rob Bonta’s biggest donors are unions, and the new rules are very labor-friendly. Any California pot company with 20 or more employees must have a “labor neutrality agreement” with the United Food and Commercial Workers Union. UFCW director Jim Araby could not name one other industry subject to such a mandate.

WInner: enTHUsIasTIC rUleFolloWers

The state’s medicalcannabis industry will be for-profit The state’s It’s ironic: The for the first time. outlaws who grew Profits will unleash medical-cannabis weed and agitated investors, who want industry will be for-profit for its legalization are to provide capital in for the first time. among the least likely exchange for future to go legal, because it revenues. “We’ll see will involve FBI backa lot more investment ground checks; filling made into this industry,” out lengthy forms; paying said Luse. licensing fees and taxes; pulling Profits likely will also be water permits and even attending city plowed into advocacy. In 2015, money council and regulatory meetings. equals political speech, and the voice of “The Wild West mentality is not going cannabis will grow immeasurably louder. to survive in this industry,” said Khoja.

“All the other industries can build a war “The business culture is going to change. chest and contribute to candidates,” said It’ll be more transparent, regulated and cannabis attorney Khurshid Khoja. “Why tax-paying. That means being involved in should that be any different for us?” the process. It’s time we take our place in the system alongside other industry.”

WInner: lICensed dIsTrIBUTors

Regulations mandate a licensed cannabis courier sector. It’ll likely belong to those with clean records and experience in distribution of regulated substances—like alcohol.

loser: poT speaKeasIes The new regulations rest atop a 2013 California Supreme Court decision, which ruled that cities and counties can ban almost any medical-marijuana activity.

And when a city later chooses to permit dispensaries, scofflaws may be last in line for local permits.

“If you’re opening up in defiance of local rules, it’s maybe not a good, longterm business strategy,” said Khoja. “There is going to be a premium on participating in the local government process.”

loser: VerTICally InTeGraTed sTores The new rules prevent a storefront from also owning farms, a courier fleet and extraction and testing labs. This ban on “vertical integration” will be a major industry target for cleanup legislation next year. Harborside Health Center’s Stephen DeAngelo said last week that banning vertical integration increases costs.

MIxed BaG: BarGaIn sHoppers In the short term, prices could rise in some places to reflect the cost of new regulations. But in the long term, regulations will lower prices by reducing the enormous “risk premium” paid for pot.

In Washington, where pot is legal, the wholesale price of weed crashed to $1 per gram in 2014. Ω

One March morning in 2013, Jackie Hardre approached her work near the corner of 21st and Capitol with a heavy heart.

She’d walked this route plenty of times over the course of two decades since opening Pieces Pizza By the Slice, but this morning was different. On her way into work that day, she heard the news about a young man, Josiah Humphreys, who’d been beaten to death on the streets of Midtown the night before, just a few blocks away. A self-professed “hippy-dippy,” Hardre wondered, to nobody in particular, how human beings could treat one another this way.

That’s when she saw it. She’d been “yarn-bombed.”

A form of street art similar to graffiti, yarn-bomb artists use crocheted or knitted yarns instead of spray paint or chalk to decorate public objects.

That March 18, Hardre gazed upon the tree outside of Pieces, which had been “bombed” by the local artist known as rebel Th’redz. What struck her were not only the intricacies of the knitted and woven colors, but the message, written in bold, white letters: “stay Human.”

Simple, timely, the tree became a public focal point, with people of all ages stopping to pose next to it. Bird houses, punk rock buttons, even masking tape flowers, created by another local street artist, found their way onto the tree over the following three years, making it a local shrine of sorts.

“That message,” says Hardre, “was so important. It was a daily reminder that we’re all in this together. We’re all human, and all we’ve got is each other.”

Unfortunately, not everyone got the message.

According to Hardre, a customer took exception to the art one evening this September for no apparent reason. Belligerently, he explained to everyone who’d listen that the tree was public space and therefore, as a member of the public, it was his right to take it down. “It was bad,” Hardre says. “Especially since the artist was there.”

The artist, Rebel Th’redz, stood up for her art and a verbal skirmish ensued. Over the next three weeks, the animosity between the two built, with the man often taking a pair of scissors from his pocket and waving them in front of RT’s face, threatening to chop up her art.

In the early morning of September 21, the man made good on his threat. Taking scissors to the art, he cut wherever he could reach. The police were called, but they were too late.

“We all lost something,” Hardre says over the rush of lunchtime customers in the background. “Every time I walk out and don’t see it, the tree looks naked.” She pauses. “But a tree is beautiful with or without it.”

As for the vandal, he hasn’t been charged. (SN&R is withholding his name.) According to Hardre, he pops his head in every once in awhile, only to be promptly thrown out. “I don’t think he’s working with a full deck,” she says.

Rebel Th’redz isn’t sure if she’ll replace the piece. She says anyone who’s interested in contributing to a new Stay Human yarnbomb tree can contact her via email, at rebelthredz@gmail.com.

Hardre’s spoken with her about doing a new piece, but she’s hesitant.

That original, according to the artist, who declined to reveal her real name, took over 500 hours to complete. RT has yarn-bombed from Sacramento to New York, but Sacramento, she says, is not “art friendly.”

“I’ve put my art all over the country, and for some reason,” she explains by email, “the people of sacramento just tear it down.”

(Jason Smith)

Unfortunately, not everyone got the message.

10.01.15 | SN&R | 9

PA I D A DV E RT I SE M E N T

State Smiles on Medical Cannabis Regulation Bills

by Evan Tuchinsky

I

f politics is the art of compromise, then the new package of laws regulating medicinal cannabis in California represents art in practice.

The Medical Marijuana Regulation and Safety Act (MMRSA) is comprised of three bills that were just passed at the end of the Legislature’s session and are expected to be signed by Gov. Jerry Brown. The bills, Assembly Bill 266, Assembly Bill 243 and Senate Bill 643, came about as a collaborative effort between legislators, the governor’s office and interested parties such as the California Cannabis Industry Association.

CCIA Executive Director Nate Bradley says his trade group’s membership is “probably about 60 percent happy” with the MMRSA. “And that’s about par for getting bills passed — with that many stakeholders in the process, you’re not going to make everyone happy,” he says.

Nate Bradley, executive director of California Cannabis Industry Association

“State rules in general will encourage towns to remove their bans and allow industries now that they’ve been legitimized by the state.”

However, with a handful of marijuana legalization initiatives vying for the November 2016 ballot, government leaders felt compelled to — in Bradley’s words — “create a foundation” for cannabis regulation.

“The state realized this was their last chance to have a say in how an initiative might look,” Bradley says. “Statistically, it’s been shown that … it behooves initiative-backers to keep whatever they do in line with whatever the state has done.”

product testing; addition of for-profit businesses; and a three-year transition to the new rules for existing businesses meeting existing rules.

The CCIA provided industry input — lobbying intensely in the Legislature and meeting three times with the governor’s staff involved in drafting the legislation — because most member dispensaries and cultivators value a legal framework.

“State rules in general will encourage towns to remove their bans and allow industries now that they’ve been legitimized by the state,” Bradley says. “One of the bigger factors is compliance with federal prosecution guidelines, because federal memos that have come out all have called for states that want to avoid federal prosecution [to have a] strict state regulation system.”

The MMRSA still could get partially or totally undone by a ballot initiative, which “can be written to do anything,” Bradley says.

“That’s the concern. Most likely what you’ll see is they’ll create a new system within the new agency … or they’ll create dual systems, which will create a lot of bureaucracy, which will create a lot of unneeded opposition,” he says.

COLLECTIVES CARING FOR THE COMMUNITY.

Provisions of the MMRSA include: legal status for the medical cannabis industry; creation of an official state agency, the Bureau of Medical Marijuana Regulation, under the Department of Consumer Affairs; specific licenses for cultivation, manufacturing, testing, dispensing, distribution and transportation; seed-to-sale tracking; mandatory

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Environmental activists stop major Sacramento County development—for now

by AlAstAir BlAnd

Sacramento County officials recently put the brakes on a plan to develop hundreds of acres of open space at Mather Field with new housing and roadways after dozens of people clogged a public meeting and voiced their opposition. Speakers expressed anger at the prospects of increased traffic and congestion in the Mather community and, especially, the loss of preserved open space and seasonal ponds called vernal pools.

Now, questions remain of how a public process that supposedly included stakeholder input went so far astray.

Sean Wirth, with the Sierra Club’s Mother Lode chapter, spoke out at the September 16 meeting. He later told SN&R that even though the county has, for the time, made the right move, he doesn’t think opponents to the development plan can put down their guard just yet.

“I’m going to assume the county will need to be shepherded along as they continue to look at this project,” he said.

Wirth says the very way Sacramento County approaches development is profit-driven and needs to be overhauled. “We need to develop in a way that has an ecological paradigm, not just a profit paradigm,” Wirth said.

For Emily Butler, executive director of environmental group Sacramento Splash, the fact that the community’s voices seemed to be disregarded for so long has hardly dampened her outlook.

“This is an example of the process working,” said Butler, who says she uses Mather vernal pools as an outdoor classroom.

The open space of Mather Air Force Base was gifted to the county in 1993 under the condition that it be kept and maintained as a preserve.

Of primary concern were the parcel’s vernal pools—scattered seasonal ponds that fill with rainwater in the winter and spring and host an array of unique, and in some cases imperiled,

plants and animals. Vernal pools were once prevalent across the Sacramento Valley but have been almost entirely eliminated, replaced by farmland and development.

But the county never honored the agreement it made in late 1990s to protect the land, according to Eva Butler, Emily Butler’s mother and the founder of Sacramento Splash. In 2006, the county presented a development plan that Butler says disregarded the major concerns that Splash had outlined during several meetings in 2005. The project description included 512 acres of new urban housing and a major roadway expansion.

The project was going to destroy two vernal pools that are especially critical to the Splash program, which brings groups of school children to the location to study the aquatic habitats.

“There had been consensus that those two pools needed to be preserved,” Eva Butler said. “It was nonnegotiable for us.”

Before the conclusion of the meeting two weeks ago, Emily spoke to the Board of Supervisors and called the county’s environmental impact report “a string of broken promises” and said that “the vast majority of our input has been systematically ignored.”

Supervisor Don Nottoli says the county was not trying to pull off a swindle. The reason so many opponents came forward at the last hour was, he says, simply a realization in a young but maturing community of what was about to happen in their backyard.

“The plan went from the conceptual and theoretical to the real,” Nottoli told SN&R. The county is now going back to the drawing board, Nottoli said.

“It’s not like all the work that’s been done is going to be thrown out, but it will serve as a backdrop for, ‘Now what?’” Ω

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Choose from over 70 events!

mondaviarts.org 10.01.15 | SN&R | 11

Future talk Introducing a special climate-change project for this fall’s Paris talks by jeff vonkaenel

je ffv @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

to decide how much we are willing to They only weighed 8 pounds each. They sacrifice for our children, their children were made up mostly of water. One had and their grandchildren, and for the blue eyes and one had brown eyes. wonderful planet that has enabled our When I cradled the little blue-eyed very existence. being in my arms, my life changed. The Future generations need our help. I purpose of my life moved instantly away believe that if we could hold these little from myself over to this tiny helpless creatures in our arms and see the world creature. The things I would do were through their eyes, we would change. If endless. I would go without sleep. I we could be transported into the future worried about the silliest things. I was and see how our current actions will thrilled about even sillier things. I spent impact our children’s grandchildren, then untold hours caring for this tiny creature. we would change.

And then, four years later, when the We need to imagine those precious brown-eyed one came into the world, it children in our future. And Melinda happened all over again.

Welsh, SN&R’s founding editor, is Obviously, I am not alone. Billions asking us to do just that. of others have had the same experiThis coming Thursday, ence. Many of my friends are SN&R is launching a again having their lives national letter-writing turned upside-down by Every project featuring their children having reasonable letters from authors, children. This has artists, scientists and not yet happened person knows that others. These letters to me. In case my the future of our are written to future children happen to children’s children generations of their read this column, let families, predicting me mention that I’m is in danger. what happens at the definitely prepared to upcoming climate talks in have my life turned upsideParis and imagining what the down again. world will be like that we leave to our There is no doubt that billions of us great-grandchildren. would do anything for our children and In November, just before the climate their children. We would sacrifice time, talks begin, some of these letters will be money and even our own lives. published in this newspaper, as well as But are we willing to do something in alt weeklies across the country and on even more important? Will we support a partnering websites. carbon tax? Ridiculously expensive toys I invite you to write a letter. Post it are great, but are we willing to pay more online at www.LettersToTheFuture.org. for solar instead of oil energy? Will we Your letter will connect with thousands support the initiatives that are needed to of people, who you may not know, reverse climate change? but with whom you share a planet and Every reasonable person knows that a future. And who knows? Maybe an the future of our children’s children is in 8-pound creature, made mostly of water, danger. Our current practices will lead will see a better planet 100 years hence.Ω to disastrous environmental outcomes, endangering the lives of future generations as well as nearly all current life on Visit www.LettersToTheFuture.org for more this planet. information.

This December, the world’s leaders will be coming together for the United Nations Conference on Climate Change Jeff vonKaenel is the president, CEO and majority owner of the News & Review. in Paris. This will be one last chance 12 | SN&R | 10.01.15

’S mento SacraerS and winn S—with loSer ry pointS ra arbit

PLAY WHERE THE

3rd annual

SAC RAMENTO KINGS PLAY Do you play basketball?

Have you ever wanted to play at Sleep Train Arena?

Sac BUI BIke

Fork lIFT

The Sac Brew Bike, also known as the Idiot Mobile, is the subject of legislation at the Capitol. Senate Bill 530 would allow pub-crawl peddlers to imbibe on the vehicle. (As if they weren’t already sufficiently buzzed.) Drinking and biking, or driving, in any other vehicle still lands you in handcuffs. (Side note: What is wrong with the central city?! We can get hammered on a giant bike, but can’t buy a single bottle of craft brew at Safeway?)

The annual Farm-to-Fork Festival on the Capitol Mall drew an estimated 50,000 attendees this past Saturday, which was 25,000 more than expected. Clearly the branding of Sacramento as the universe’s Farm-to-Fork capital has some sort of local stamp of approval. Scorekeeper says, however, that people just like eating free stuff—so can we stop with all the branding and renaming of things?

- 530

+ 50,000

®

OctOber 8-17, 2015

Here is your chance.

We are having the first annual S acKingsNation, S acSpor tsNation grudge match. We have two team captains who need your help.

S ubmit a 10-30 second video of you playing basketball. Our two team captains will then pick their teams from their favorite videos.

S ubmit Videos to @S acSpor tsNation on Twitter.

Email to JMorgan@S acSpor tsNation.com or send them to S acKingsNation on Facebook.

WE ARE SAC SPOR TS NATION

celeBraTe WITH Sex A recent study showed STD rates are down in Sacramento! Thanks to sex education, free home-testing kits and cooperation among clinics, schools and community groups, those once “highest infection rates in the state” are no more. Teenage pregnancies are also down. Let’s celebrate with more safe sex rather than defunding Planned Parenthood.

+ 916 Tax, man

WInnerS!

Zocalo owner and chairman of the Handle District Board of Directors Jimmy Johnson told The Sacramento Bee this past Monday that a 1.5 percent surcharge on restaurant bills in this Midtown district, a.k.a. the “Handle Tax,” goes toward things like streetlights, bike racks, security, street cleaning and events. “We can no longer rely on the city to provide basic needs,” he told writer Ryan Lillis. So, if you’re bummed about paying more for chips and guac and a margarita, direct your anger at City Hall instead of your server.

Congratulations to new Helvetia

+ 1.5

Brewing co. and Track 7 Brewing co. for their big wins at the annual Great American Beer Fest in Denver. Two wins for city of Sacramento breweries, that’s huge.

+ 2,015

AlliedClinical.org • 916-281-2262 10.01.15

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13

What would

jesus

by Jeff vonKaenel

je ffv @ n e w s re v ie w . c o m

I

like talking to religious leaders.

As a group, they tend to be very intelligent, funny, well-read and have daily experiences that give them great insight into life’s most important issues. And what we as individuals, and we as a society, should do about poverty is one of the most important issues of our time.

I interviewed different Sacramento religious leaders about what their faith traditions say about poverty, what their groups are doing about poverty and, finally, whether we should increase support for government safety-net programs. Since the vast majority of religious organizations in the Sacramento area are Christian, I framed the story idea as, “What would Jesus say about poverty?”

Since 2002, I have attended more than 150 different faith services here in Sacramento and met with hundreds of local faith leaders from different faith traditions including conservative Christian, liberal Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Buddhist. All that I have met with over the years would have interesting answers to the above questions. Not having room for hundreds, I chose a small group of individuals who I knew would have insightful answers. As you can see, they did.

I hope this story starts a bigger conversation about poverty and, in particular, what faithful people should do about it. Please ask yourself and others about what should we do about poverty.

And please send your answers to jeffv@newsreview.com.

I would encourage you to drop in for different faith services. You do not need to make reservations. You just need to show up. Sitting in the pews, you will be amazed by what people can do when they put their faith into action. You, as a first time attendee, will also get a whole lot of coffee cups and candy.

14 | SN&R | 10.01.15

SN&R interviews local religious leaders to discuss faith, spirituality—and Sacramento’s safety net

say

about poverty?

CatholiC herald/Photo by Cathy JoyCe

We may not “ change the world, but I think that standing with the poor is the most human, the way that we are our best selves.

”

Bishop Jaime Soto

It should haunt us Bishop Jaime Soto Roman Catholic Diocese of Sacramento 2110 Broadway www.diocese-sacramento.org

Let’s talk about what the church does and what it should be doing.

I’ll say the church in the United States is the hallmark of the church in terms of its health care, education and social services. All of those those institutions that we created began as institutions intended to serve the poor. To some extent we continue to be true to that. I think we always have to challenge ourselves, that besides

our Catholic charities programs, how well are our Catholic schools providing for the poor and how much are our Catholic hospitals providing for the poor?

Pope Francis seems to be putting an even higher emphasis on that.

Not just Pope Francis but Pope Benedict also enunciates this, that charity is the most persuasive argument we make for the Gospel.

That besides everything else we might say or any other argument that we might make for the power of the Gospel, that it’s the work of charity that most persuasively presents the Gospel to people.

For the secular community, how does this come together in terms of the government, in terms of what we should be doing as a society?

That is a very good question, and I think that’s what, and again, I’m going to go back to something Pope Benedict said and that I know that Pope Francis has reiterated, is that even if we had the most just world, the Christian would still be compelled to do charity. The dynamic is that even with justice, which in a certain sense is giving each person his or her due, some kind of sense of things being right. The human person, the highest calling for the human person is to love.

If Jesus comes today, he drops down from heaven and he walks around and starts looking at things like inequality and homelessness, then goes up to the pulpit, what does he say?

I think he’d read Matthew 25 again. I think that story, that narrative, is still very compelling. For any Christian, Matthew 25 should haunt us.

It compels you to do way more.

Yes, because it’s not just about judgment, it’s not just about heaven and hell, it’s about meeting the Lord Jesus. Some missed the opportunity. But those who did care for the poor actually met the Lord.

You and the church have taken leadership on a lot of secular issues, like immigration.

What are some of the main things you think we should be doing?

We may not change the world but I think that standing with the poor is the most human, the way that we are our best selves. … I think immigration is one of the most frustrating social issues that we deal with today. Precisely because we legitimize keeping people on the margins, and we do that not only to the detriment of them, but even our own selves, this shadow society, the informal economy of a large undocumented population is not good for American society. It’s one of those cases where the Gospel is not only the right thing to do, it’s also the best thing to do. “ W h at wo u l d

jesus s ay ? ”

c o n t i n u e d o n pag e

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10.01.15 | SN&R | 15

“ W h at wo u l d

jesus s ay ? ”

c o n t i n u e d f r o m pag e

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‘ outrage, pain, compassion, action, love’ Rev. Jason Bense Lutheran Church of the Redeemer 4641 Marconi Avenue www.lcorsac.org

What would Jesus say about poverty?

Jesus would say the poor are blessed.

The poor have great value, they’re treasures. Jesus would find community among the poor.

Do the poor feel they are blessed?

Some days, not so much. I’m sure it’s very discouraging to live in it. But I’m sure there are many days the rich don’t feel all that blessed, either. I think the poor need to know they are blessed.

What is your church doing about poverty?

We live in community with those who are poor as members of the church, who are food insecure. We are part of a whole international campaign of empowerment of helping people that are in disaster situations, such as in Nepal, or building self-sufficient agriculture in Africa. We are engaged in national and international public-policy work, state-policy work on providing safety nets for people in poverty.

We have a community garden at church, which provides food for the food bank. But it also provides a means for everyone in the neighborhood to be engaged in growing food. I have a pastoral discretion fund, and sometimes and people just need a night’s shelter; I suppose it’s helping the poor.

If Jesus was walking around Sacramento right now and saw the homeless and hunger, what do you think his reaction would be?

Outrage, pain, compassion, action and love.

‘Word and deed’ Pastor Greg Alderman Christ Community Church of Carmichael 5025 Manzanita Avenue www.cccnow.com

What is the church’s role when it comes to fighting poverty?

That’s a great question. Evangelical conservative churches have traditionally focused totally on proclaiming the word and 16 | SN&R | 10.01.15

Rev. Jason Bense reminds that Jesus would find community with the poor—something you don’t see in everyday Sacramento.

getting people saved. Socially liberal churches are focused on deed, deed, deed. Like on socialjustice issues. The truth is, neither side is right.

It’s word and deed. It’s always been word and deed. …

Lately, I’ve seen so-called liberal churches and conservative churches ceasing the rhetoric more and more. I see churches actually come together and realizing we have a lot more in common than we like to admit and I see churches starting to work together where that hasn’t taken place.

You’ve been at your congregation for eight-and-a-half years. How have things changed when it comes to people needing help?

When I came here eight-and-a-half years ago, the number of people walking in off the street requesting help was—let’s just say it was easy enough for us to handle on a per-need basis. The number of people now is every week and almost every day. People walking in with needs, many times not connected to the congregation. We had to get more systematic: How do we get partnerships in helping people getting connected to places where they can receive help and be blessed?

What role should the church have in these bigger kind of social-equity questions?

The evangelical conservative churches, for many years, has put its eggs in the political basket, and therefore has ruined its witness in many ways, because it has become intertwined with a message to the culture about social conservatism. In other

photo by darin smith

“

It’s forcing people to realize that, ‘I can’t sit back and live in my own little bubble, my own little cocoon, and simply pretend there aren’t any problems.’

”

Pastor Greg Alderman

words, draping the cross in the flag or draping the cross in the name of a political party vs. where I think Jesus would be. This is part of the blessing the last 10 years brings, the stripping away of artificial boundaries that keep us separated form the real problems of the world. It’s forcing people to realize that, “I can’t sit back and live in my own little bubble, my own little cocoon, and simply pretend there aren’t any problems,” or “That’s a problem for the city rather than a problem for the suburbs.”

If the social conservative churches came out and said, “Let’s go do things,” that could be transformative.

It could be. And I believe it’s genuine.

‘He’d be actually pissed off’ Rev. Janice Steele Loomis Basin Congregational United Church of Christ 6440 King Road in Loomis www.loomisucc.org

What would Jesus say about poverty?

Jesus would be very concerned about poverty.

I think in ancient biblical times, the poor were among society, and the whole commandment was to look at your neighbor as yourself, but also to care for the needy and to take care of the widows and orphans. The church and society at large has a responsibility to attend to the needs of those who are struggling.

What is your own church doing?

Not enough, I’m sure. We’re a small congregation and we do charity work and I think charity and

justice are very different. Charity is a Band-Aid for a much bigger problem that is systemic, and is part of systems to keep people oppressed and in poverty. When you say what are we doing, our congregation, we address it through charitable actions like gathering in homeless families and providing meals. We provide food to St. Paul’s [Program for Real Change], the shelter. A lot of us are involved in our shared denominational ministry, Global Ministries, that’s sending financial support to other countries and to other organizations in the United States that deal directly with poverty, housing and economic injustice.

If Jesus was walking around Sacramento right now and he saw homelessness and hunger, what would his reaction be?

I think he’d be actually pissed off, because there is no need for people to be out on the street when there are a ton of empty buildings in Sacramento.

I know it’s a bigger conversation: Who’s going to fix those building? Where’s that money going to come from? Who’s going to care for those properties?

Part of the poverty that is in Sacramento are folks that really do need mental-health care.

There’s only so much people can do individually. … We have to get involved and we have to redirect dollars to mental-health issues so that people can make conscientious decisions that benefit them in the long run.

‘take care of the poor’ Rabbi Mona Alfi Congregation B’nai Israel 3600 Riverside Boulevard www.bnais.com

What does the Bible say about poverty?

That’s a huge question. The Bible repeatedly commands us to take care of the poor, the widowed and the orphaned. And it’s speaking to an agricultural people, and so it’s telling people who live in an agricultural system different ways they are to leave gleanings in the corners of the fields so that those who were hungry had the ability to feed themselves.

“

Your own organization, what is your focus on poverty?

We do a number of things. We have a food closet for Rabbi Mona Alfi members of our congregation who need it. We also donate and collect all year round, not only for our food closet but for the downtown food bank. We’ve done that for, well, I’m not sure how many years since they started, we were in on the ground floor in the downtown food bank. We also donate to the federation food closet, which are for kosher food items only. There’s three different food sources that we have. We believe that you have to make it as easy as possible and as respectful as possible, because people need assistance to get that assistance. Those are three things we do. I believe the work we do with the homeless is connected to that, we also are partners with Family Promise as well as Winter Sanctuary.

What always fascinates me is that people say, “I can be spiritual on my own,” but it’s collectively that they can be more effective on this. But you can’t do much about poverty on your own, or it’s very, very hard to do that on your own.

And I would argue that you can’t be spiritual on your own. Because left to my own devices, I will not challenge myself enough. Like my ego, my capability to deceive myself and live in denial and think I’m being spiritual when I’m just being narcissistic is too great and I need a religious tradition that kicks my butt.

We’re not doing enough.

”

Our government is very actively involved in solving poverty. How do your beliefs align with issues such as fair pay, food stamps, etc.?

It breaks my heart that food stamps has become a political issue. I don’t understand how it’s evolved into that. When the food stamps program started, it started with bipartisan support across the different religious groups. … This is America, it’s a prosperous country, no one in America should go to sleep saying they are hungry. It kills me that things are changing in terms of how people view that. … A government budget reflects the values of the country, and I would like to believe that we live in a country that cares for everyone who lives here. I do think that as religious people we believe that humanity is created in the image of God. When we denigrate a particular person or we ignore or shun them or we lack to hear their cries for help, it’s as if we were doing that to God. If we had a religious person from the Bible walk around Sacramento now and saw the homelessness and hunger here, what do you think he or she would say?

We’re not doing enough. The way that it’s presented in the Bible is that it is each and every persons responsibility to, in the Bible it’s called “tzedakah,” which is often translated as charity.

Really what “tzedakah” is is taxes. Because the “tzedakah,” the contributions, the tithing that we’re apt to do in the Bible, is about contributing to the general well-being of society. That includes caring for everybody in society.

‘he would be heartbroken’ Rev. Brian Baker Trinity Cathedral 2620 Capitol Avenue www.trinitycathedral.org

Here at Trinity, what are you doing to help poor individuals?

Every Wednesday night, we have dinner for people who are homeless. Every other Wednesday night, we house people who are homeless in the parish hall. We participate in the Family Promise Program, where last week we were housing homeless families and feeding them in the parish hall. We are partnering with Jed Smith School, now [Leataata] Floyd School, which is an elementary school in housing projects where 100 percent of kids live in poverty.

We prepare backpacks of food for them to take home over the weekends, we have a clothing closet, we support the teachers. But the other thing that happens that is more foundational and underground is that, personally, I don’t see my job as feeding the hungry. My job is to help convert people so that they feed the hungry.

Convert people meaning open their hearts. The more foundational thing is the preaching, the liturgy and the environment we create that opens people’s hearts to live more compassionately.

The person who has their heart open, what should they be doing?

What we do at Trinity is try and function on three fronts. One is the softening of the human heart, the other is the practical feeding of hungry people. But we also have people that are involved in social-justice advocacy.

Let’s say Jesus just dropped into Sacramento today and walked around and saw the people sleeping on the streets, saw how we treat the mentally ill. What do you think he would say?

I think he would be heartbroken. I think what he would say is, “How dare you?” And it’s part of the challenge, as a religious leader, is the problems are so complex. For me and for people in my congregation, I think the spirit is willing, it’s just hard to know what to do. The challenge is to know where to put the oar in the water and where to mobilize the human resources that we have here. To make the stuff happen.

So come to Trinity to have your butt kicked? Is that what you’re saying?

Yes, or encounter Jesus to have your butt kicked.

‘It’s Jesus’ chaIr’ Pastor Ray Johnston Bayside Church in Granite Bay www.baysideonline.com

The big question is: What would Jesus say about poverty?

I just finished writing a book called Jesus Called, He Wants His Church Back. I just finished that book because I just went to South Africa and trained pastors with the Dutch Reformed Church. They flew my wife and I out, and we spoke at all these pastor conferences.

And the Dutch Reformed Church, they were the oppressors; they led the theological foundation for apartheid. Every setting I was in, every church, all white. All traditional. I mean, it was as staid and broken as you can find, in terms of relevance. It was depressing.

And then, right before we flew home, we got a phone call that asked instead of flying home can we fly to Pretoria, to the capital, and speak at the largest Dutch Reformed Church in all of their services. So we changed our plans, flew to Pretoria, preached at their services, and I got there and was expecting all white. We drove to their church; I was floored. There were people everywhere. It was blacks and whites, thousands of people at their services, in English and Swahili. I mean the compassion ministries in that town were unbelievable, it was like nothing Dutch Reformed saw anywhere else.

I got teared up looking at it, I turned and looked at the crowd and I started crying. ... I said, “What happened?” [The pastor] said, “I went in and put a chair at the head of the table of our first board meeting and I said nobody will ever sit in that chair. It’s Jesus’ chair. He’s supposed to be the head of the church; from what I can see you’re not doing a very good job without Him, why don’t we put him back in charge? The only question we’re going to ask from now on is ‘What does Jesus want us to do?’” … It blew away 200 years of ingrained prejudice.

I flew back going, “What works there will work here.” ’Cause I’d basically realized there are a whole bunch of things Jesus talked about that Christians ignore.

10.01.15 | SN&R | 17

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sacramen to novelist anna-mar ie mclemore ’s new young adult novel combines magical realism with cultural explorat ion and body politics

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nna-Marie McLeMore was standing in the forest wearing an enorMous pair of wings when the idea caMe to her.

The writer and her husband were taking engagement photos with a friend. The pictures were belated: McLemore and her husband, who is transgender, had eloped in 2008 in a brief window of time during which same-sex marriage was legal in California. Now they wanted something to commemorate the occasion.

18 | SN&R | 10.01.15

Initially the couple had planned to wear their regular street clothes. But the photographer had another idea and dressed McLemore in the wings. Instantly, the writer found inspiration.

“There was joy and fun,” McLemore remembers of the session.

The moment also revived childhood memories of a story her father had told her about a traveling mermaid show in Florida.

“I loved the idea of performing as a mermaid. I love mermaids; I’d wanted to be one since I was 3,” said McLemore who is now 28.

So there, among the trees, the Sacramento novelist decided to join the two worlds. “[I knew] I wanted to put together a story about mermaids and winged performers,” she said.

The resulting young adult book The Weight of Feathers (St. Martin’s Press, $18.99) chronicles the story of Lace and Cluck, teenagers from rival families of vagabond entertainers.

McLemore will read from the book Saturday, October 3, at Face in a Book in El Dorado Hills.

The Weight of Feathers, which takes place in central California, centers around the Corbeaus, a family whose generations of “winged” boys perform atop tightropes strung between tall trees, and the Palomas, who build a show around pretty girls who must don elaborate bejeweled mermaid “tails” and take to the water.

While both families, long locked in a bitter, sometimes deadly feud, rely on elaborate costumes to create a visual spectacle, they also come by their gimmicks naturally.

The Corbeaus boast actual feathers while the Palomas have fish scales on their backs.

After an accident at a nearby chemical plant forces Lace and Cluck to cross paths, decades-long rivalries are revived and histories fatefully re-examined. Think Romeo & Juliet in a traveling sideshow.

The novel was published earlier this month to widespread acclaim. Kirkus Reviews called it “a contemporary, magical take on an ever compelling theme,” while Publishers Weekly raved “the enchanting setup and the forbidden romance that blooms between these two outcasts will quickly draw readers in.”

The story draws heavily from McLemore’s roots. The Palomas are, like McLemore, Mexican-American; the Corbeaus are Romani gypsies.

“The culture I came from inspired the feel of the book,” she says. “While not drawing on specific traditions, it was the groundwork.”

If anything, she adds, she enjoyed the research that went into learning more about the French gypsy culture—and then weaving the heritages together.

“I like the idea of writing about two cultures. … There is so much overlap between their beautiful worlds, but they also have trouble,” she says.

With its lush, lyrical prose and elements of magical realism, The Weight of Feathers finds allegiance in works by ChileanAmerican writer Isabel Allende, Nicaraguan novelist Gioconda Belli and the late Columbian author Gabriel García Márquez.

“I grew up very much with a sense that you have magical realism—the magical and the ordinary, and the ordinary and the brutal,” she says. “I grew up with that but I didn’t know the term for it. These are the books I grew up with, this the world I naturally fell into.”

In particular McLemore loved Mexican novelist Laura Esquivel’s 1989 classic Like Water for Chocolate, about a young woman who is cursed in love only to find she can control those around her through cooking.

“That’s one of the first [magical realism] works I read and I come back to it a lot as a story of strong women.”

While cultural boundaries play heavily into her book, The Weight of Feathers also explores other forms of identity and body politics.

When Lace’s initial encounter with Cluck leaves her burned with the imprint of one of his feathers, her grandmother turns her out of Paloma family. Alone and homeless, the 16-year-old is faced with trying to, in a sense, come to terms with literal scars, cultural beauty standards and a figurative reclaiming of her body.

“For Lace, the accident at the plant highlights [issues] that she can’t think of before

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that point,” she says. “To have the accident rthy yne wo ran fa by lau happen to her—it puts it right in her face so o t o h p that she can’t ignore it.”

The story, which is told in Lace and Cluck’s dueling narratives, also gives voice to other issues.

“Cluck is darker than the rest of his family—what he contends with and what people think of him, he has this idea that his body is there for his family to abuse,” McLemore says. “He has to break out of that.

He and Lace are both reclaiming their bodies in their own ways.”

Such themes, McLemore says, are rooted in elements of her personal life, including being queer and biracial “I’m cis-gender and I’ve struggled with being mixed race and my very curvy Latina body,” she says.

Likewise, she adds, her husband has struggled in “finding a space” within the transgender community.

McLemore and her husband first moved to Sacramento in 2009 with the latter attending McGeorge School of Law and later taking a job as a lobbyist for Equality California.

Now the writer, who is originally from Los Angeles, says Sacramento “is where we’ve made our home—we’ve fallen in love with it.”

McLemore is currently working on her second novel, which will also include elements of magical realism and Anna-Marie McLemore multicultural themes, as well as a transgender character.

“My husband is a wonderful help with that,” she says. “As close as I am to it, there’s nothing like having someone tell you what you’re getting right or getting wrong.”

Whatever the story, McLemore says she’ll continue to write about different worlds.

“Writing diversity is important to me,” she says.

But although McLemore has described her writing as works that “could be called Latina literature,” she also aims for them to transcend labels and genre. It should be this way for books from any viewpoint or culture.

“What I hope happens in [writing] diversity is that we see books as beautiful in their own culture, but also as stories for everyone.” Ω

see 15 MInutes

Good morning, sunshine!

Somewhere in Asia, people casually scanning their friends’ California vacation photos will find an image of me squatting on the state capitol lawn. My brow is sweating, my hands are over my heart and my Lycra-covered thighs are open to the world. Seconds after I settled into the ungainly yoga squat known as Goddess Pose, a tour group lined up in front of the capitol steps and began snapping shots on their iPads.

The tourists clearly had no idea the Yoga Moves us 108 sun salutation challenge was happening last Saturday morning, but the discovery delighted them. Some broke into applause.

One cheery woman in a red hat waved to the 100-plus yoga enthusiasts and called, “Hello! How are you?”

Having just finished 108 rounds of Sun Salutation A— a series of yoga poses that involves repeatedly standing tall, folding over, getting down to the ground via a pushup, arching through both Upward and Downward Dog poses, and then standing again—I was both euphoric and exhausted.

Euphoric because I, a novice bedroom yogi, completed all 108 series.

Exhausted because the process took nearly two hours of constant movement and involved approximately 108 more pushups than I prefer to execute in a day.

The event was a fundraiser for Yoga Moves Us (http://yogamovesus.org), the nonprofit responsible for free weekly yoga classes at McKinley, Tahoe and Maidu parks.

Fifteen yoga instructors took turns leading the crowd. Some gave detailed instructions, while others offered single-word cues: “Breathe … bend … look … fly … connect.”

The morning passed in a repetitive blur: Stretch my arms overhead and peer into the windows of the capitol. (Nice chandelier! Who works in that office?) Bend over and stare at the lawn behind me. (Is that dude with the iPhone Instagramming our butts?) Plank pose. (Yup, there’s my mat.)

Upward Dog. (Look at the redwood trees!) Stand up. (Wonder where the girl in front of me got those tie-dyed leggings?)

Windows. Dudes with phones. Yoga mat. Redwoods. Leggings. Repeat for two hours.

Halfway through, I developed an intense craving for pizza.

Then just pizza crust. Then any kind of bread at all.

Maybe 80 salutations in, I began to wonder whether our combined yogic intensity could create peace for our state’s policy-makers. I tried beaming heart-chakra energy throughout the capitol. Then I worried dehydration was making me loopy.

Yogis around me were dropping into restful child’s poses.

Volunteers offered water and massaged their shoulders.

I considered stopping, and thus getting a massage, but persevered until the final cool-down and the aforementioned smattering of tourist applause. This was followed by the most satisfying Savasana, as yoga teacher Laura Francis serenaded us a cappella with the Gayatri Mantra in Sanskrit. I lay on the lawn of one of the busiest buildings in the capital city of one of the busiest states in the country, completely in the moment, watching the clouds drift by.

I began to wonder whether our combined yogic intensity could create peace for our state’s policy-makers.

“I loved the idea of performing as a mermaid. I love mermaids; I’d wanted to be one since I was 3.”

anna-Marie Mclemore will read from the weight of feathers at 2 p.m. at face in a book, 4359 town Center boulevard, Suite #113, in el Dorado hills. learn more at http://author.annamarie mclemore.com.

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snark attack

Anna-Marie McLemore lifts The Weight of Feathers.

—Becca costello b e c c a c @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

10.01.15 | SN&R | 19

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For The week oF ocTober 1

Sacramento Scandinavian Festival SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3 You don’t need to be of Scandinavian descent to attend this weekend’s gathering. Whatever the ancestry, those attending should come, at the very least, to try some of the region’s native cuisine.

There’ll be all kinds of baked goods and assorted foods for sale and lucky visitors might even catch some real-life Vikings walking the FeSTivAl premises. Not enough fun? There’ll also be live music, raffles and detailed history and information on Nordic culture. $5, free for children 12 and under; 10 a.m. at Divine Savior Catholic Church, 9079 Greenback Lane; www.facebook.com/ SacramentoScandinavianFestival.

—EDDiE JORgEnSEn

Art Jam: A modern pArTy SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3 The Friends of the Sacramento Metropolitan Arts Commission host a freewheeling warehouse party with food and libations, pop-up art installations and a dance party—an ambitious event PArTY benefiting arts education in schools that promises no stuffy speeches or auctions, just interactive, free-form fun. $100 for one ticket, $175 for two; 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at 1401 C Street; www.friendsofsmac.org.

—DEEnA DREwiS

The Seeds: Pushing Too hard SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3 To anyone who loves garage rock, Los Angeles quartet the Seeds were gods. They were FilM also significant in how they—pardon the pun—planted the seeds for the unhinged insanity of punk rock that would explode in the ’70s. Lead singer Sky Saxon was a charismatic, eccentric rock maniac—an idol of Iggy Pop’s. Director Neil Norman has assembled a 110-minute documentary on the rise and fall of the group using interviews and archival footage. $15, 6 p.m. at Crest Theatre, 1013 K Street; http://gnpcrescendo.com/pth.

—AAROn CARnES

P

umpkin-spice everything, sienna leaves on the trees, decorative-gourd season, cozy sweaters—we get it, fall fever is here. But this month, there’s a chance area pets will be even more enamored with autumn than you are, considering the lineup of events centered around our furry friends.

More specifically, Saturday, October 3, is potentially going to go down in the books as the most pet-tastic day the city has ever seen. For the pet-loving yet petless among us, the Franklin Community Library (10055 Franklin High Road in Elk Grove) is hosting a read to a Dog at the library event from 11 a.m. to noon in which kids are invited to practice their reading skills by reading aloud to trained therapy dogs

Architecture Talk: The Modern Museum (and if you can’t make this one, the same event will be held again on November 7 and December 5).

Afterward, head over to Dogtoberfest 2015 at the Mack Road Community Center (7839 Center Parkway) from noon to 4 p.m. The event is designed to promote pet health and the importance of pet adoption, and there will plenty of opportunities to shop for accessories and treats as well enjoy drinks in the “Yappy Hour” beer garden for humans. But what you’ll really want to stick around for are the Ugliest Dog and Cutest Canine Pageant and Top Dog Costume Contest; entry fees are $10-$20, and prizes between $25 and $50 will be awarded in each category.

General admission is free, but donations

and proceeds from the contests benefit local animal-care organizations. For more information, go to www.ugliestdog sacramento.com.

Once the ugliest dog in the land has been crowned, head over to the glitzy whiskers and wine event benefiting the Sacramento County Animal Shelter (3829 Bradshaw Road). Tickets, priced at $60-$75, include a sit-down dinner from Broderick Roadhouse, an open bar, and a dessert buffet by Jelly Belly, plus a chance to win a new Mazda Miata, a South African photo safari, a 10-day cruise and other prizes.

Find out more at www.whiskersandwine sacramento.com.

—DEEnA DREwiS

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8 Even though most museums typically showcase old art (The older, the better!), the people behind the scenes are always looking for new and cutting edge ways to present these important works.

The Crocker Art Museum is giving folks a chance to peek behind the curtain with a lecture from Curtis Owyang, principal at ArchiTecTure LPAS Architecture + Design, and lead designer at Folsom Lake Visual & Performing Arts Center. Owyang will discuss the relationship between architecture and design and the art itself, showing how this technology has evolved over the past few decades, and how it’s affected the attendees’ experience. $6-$12, 7 p.m. at Crocker Art Museum, 216 O Street; www.crockerart museum.org.

—AAROn CARnES

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Pastry hero AnpAnMAn, MAhoroBA JApAnese BAkery If you think Americans like superheroes, you haven’t been to Japan. Starting in the 1970s, Anpanman was a staunch defender of justice with a head made of bread, an anpan filled with red bean paste. Now you can eat Anpanman at Mahoroba Japanese Bakery.

They make Japanese-style doughnuts. The Kobe Cream is the most popular, but the chocolate pudding–filled Anpanman ($1.40) is the cutest.

Bite his poor head like a supervillain. Soreike, Anpanman!

4900 Freeport Boulevard, (916) 454-1879.

—Ann MArtin rolke

Rent revenge Fieldwork Brewing Co.

IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

Suburban destination

By Janelle Bitker

Full market: Slowly but surely, the Milagro Centre is coming to fruition.

Last week, the Sacramento Bee’s Bob Shallit reported that the upcoming Carmichael marketplace is finally full. One of the puzzle’s final pieces is Fish Face Poke Bar & Market from Kru’s Billy Ngo. It’s another outpost of his wildly popular poke restaurant on R Street, only this edition will also feature a small specialty grocery section.

The 4-acre foodie heaven— intended to be similar to the Oxbow Market in Napa or the Ferry Building in San Francisco—at 6241 Fair Oaks Boulevard will feature the relocated River City Brewing Co., Insight

jan el l e b @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

Coffee Roasters; Mesa Mercado, a new concept by Ernesto Delgado of Tequila Museo Mayahuel; The Patriot, part high-end restaurant and part New York-style pizza and deli bar by Broderick Roadhouse’s Chris Jarosz; a meat and seafood market collaboration between Delgado and Jarosz; Ghiotto Artisan Gelato, a dessert and wine bar; and also, somewhere in there, a wokdriven restaurant.

Look for businesses to start opening later this fall with a grand opening early next year.

Saddle up: While we’re talking about Chris Jarosz, let’s remember the restaurateur’s other highly anticipated

concept, Saddle Rock. With executive chef Kevin O’Connor—previously of his Treehouse pop-up series and Blackbird Kitchen & Bar—Saddle Rock promises to pack in crowds whenever it opens in the former Capital Dime location (1801 L Street).

During a chef battle at TBD Fest, O’Connor said Saddle Rock will be open in two months. And he sounded confident.

Noodle house: Something has finally opened in the former Shoki Ramen House in Curtis Park (2675 24th Street). The tiny, adorable spot now serves Thai food under the punny moniker Noodles to Thai For. Everything on the menu—rice plates, curries, sides and nine noodle dishes—is priced under $8.

Local brews: Everyone’s favorite—or least favorite—party on wheels, the Sac Brew Bike, will open its own beer bar on October 3. While Sac Brew Bar (1519 19th Street) is chiefly intended for the company’s bike tourists, it’s open to the general public as well—a place to try multiple Sacramento craft breweries under one roof. Grand opening festivities start at 7:30 p.m. Ω

Everyone from the Bay Area is coming to Sacramento and raising our rents, those jerks. So, let’s do the Bay a favor and go play on their turf. Let’s hit up Fieldwork Brewing Co., just off Interstate 80 in north Berkeley. At this newly launched brewhouse and tasting room, you will find crushable hopped beers and a few format-busters. Last week, I couldn’t leave without a growler of Nomadic IPA: dry, gently bitter, awesome papaya and tropical-fruit notes. And their strawberry-brett saison was damn impressive, especially considering how challenging it is to execute a strawberry brew. So, to recap: Bay Area people need to stop moving to Midtown, or we’re going to drink all your delicious beer. 1160 Sixth Street in Berkeley, www.fieldworkbrewing.com.

—niCk Miller

Not just for pie Apples With Apple Hill a short drive away, you have no excuse for eating mealy old fruit. Apples at grocery stores might be from long-term storage, while those at farmers markets are uber-crisp. Some varieties to look for now are the Empire, with sweet-tart white flesh; Mutsu (a.k.a Crispin), large and sweet; and Paula Reds, which are bright with berry flavors.

Choose crunchier apples to keep their shape for baking and softer ones for turning into sauce.

—Ann MArtin rolke

10.01.15 | SN&R | 23

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Minimalist yum

by Janelle Bitker

Hankook tofu House

HHH 9521 Folsom Boulevard, Suite A; (916) 364-1950 Dinner for one: $9 - $18 Good for: classic Korean fare Notable dishes: seafood pancake, spicy rice cakes

If you’ve ever slurped a piping hot bowl of sundubu jjigae at BCD Tofu House—a popular chain in Southern California—you understand the transcendent potential of stewed tofu, gochujang and a raw egg. It’s soothing and spicy, and the tofu disarmingly silky. You spoon the bubbling mixture over rice and delight in the just-cooked yolk at the bottom of the bowl. You want it every cold winter night for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately, you won’t find such bliss at Hankook Tofu House, which opened in February. As its name suggests, the restaurant specializes in these soft tofu soups, but they don’t quite deliver if expectations are high.

Still, Sacramento lacks a top-notch Korean restaurant, and Hankook Tofu House definitely rivals Mo Du Rang, the current favorite located just a few doors down. Hankook is warmer, brighter and cleaner—just one quick and friendly server takes care of all 10 tables, though the television is distractingly loud—and its prices are consistently lower.

Compared to most Korean restaurants, Hankook offers a minimalist menu: eight tofu soups and a few classic Korean specialties.

Portions are generous. Plus, your table gets loaded with banchan after ordering—about 10 little side dishes, which change from night to night. Quality varies. Broccoli one night tasted strongly of garlic and sesame oil, another night the florets were too plain. Kimchi was intense and sour one night, on another it seemed like it needed more time to ferment.

ja ne lle b @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

Some of the banchan were mysteries: some kind of root vegetable, some kind of pickled something?

Servers aren’t confident on the English names of various ingredients, but if business is slow, they’ll grab an English-Korean dictionary and try to help you out. For example, I now know the fabulous, bright red banchan of dried fish is made with pollock. Thanks, dictionary.

On the tofu soup menu, I sampled the kimchipork and vegetable varieties (both $9.99). They suffered the same watery problem and lacked depth—particularly the vegetable—but the spice levels were generous. If you like sweating, this is your spot.

You’ll need to ask for an egg with your soup— assuming you want one, which you do. It might seem like an annoying extra step, but, really, it’s infinitely better than places that automatically drop the egg in before bringing it to your table—that action usually results in an overcooked, scrambled surprise.

Actually, away from the tofu soups is where Hankook shines brightest. The giant seafood pancake ($13.99) merits repeat visits for its chewy, soft center and super-crispy edges. Long strips of scallions, mussels and tender, charred squid stud the surface and load it with flavor. With the banchan, one order could easily feed two people.

The dol-sot bibimbap ($10.99)—a picturesque classic of finely julienned vegetables and an over-easy egg over rice—sizzles upon arrival in a big stone pot. Release the egg yolk, mix furiously and relish in the semiburnt, crispy bits of rice that cling to the hot bowl. Hankook’s bibimbap feels healthy and light. The incredibly flavorful shreds of beef bulgogi do the heavy lifting, and I only wished there were more of them. Luckily, there’s the squeeze bottle of gochujang, the distinctive, fermented Korean red pepper paste, which helps make anything more interesting.

Short ribs ($19.99) and spicy rice cakes ($12.99) are both well-executed. The ribs arrive smoking hot, with lightly caramelized edges and an air of sweet, garlicky soy. The fat, oval rice disks are freshly made, staying soft and pleasantly chewy in a pool of bright red, sweet-spicy sauce with thin rectangles of fish cake. And gochujang. Yum, gochujang. Ω

The spice levels were generous. If you like sweating, this is your spot.

Camp ’n’ brunch The upcoming Hoes Down Harvest Festival is proof that farm-to-fork festivities don’t stop just because Farm-to-Fork Restaurant Weeks ends. Full Belly Farm’s 28th annual harvest party is one of the best family events around—a giant celebration of food and farm life at 16090 County Road 43 in Guinda, about an hour from Sacramento. Shop the farmers market and grab a hot dog from Prather Ranch or a scoop of organic ice cream from Straus Family Creamery. Taste Yolo County wines and attend a free agricultural workshop about cow milking, sheep shearing or herbs.

Tickets cost $20 in advance and $25 at the gate, with festivities running from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. But if that’s not enough, you can pay $25 to camp overnight, enjoy a huge brunch and attend more workshops. These Sunday seminars—fermentation, small-scale olive oil production, floral design—require advance registration and range from $10 to $40. More at www.hoesdown.org.

—Janelle Bitkerv

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By Shoka At this point, the most challenging aspect of maintaining veganimity is finding restaurants whose chefs geek out over vegetables the same way they obsess over meat and cheese—and don’t categorize fish as a vegetable. This ultimately means when veganizing a dish, it’s not about merely subtracting or substituting the flesh or dairy elements, but about rounding out the dish’s flavors to make the final product a satisfying work of art worth masticating. The chefs at

the restaurants participating in the Sacramento Vegan Chef Challenge are up for the test. As of press time, the full list of eateries in the friendly monthlong competition had not been announced, but the V Word is particularly excited to see what Blackbird Kitchen+Beer Gallery (reopening mid-October, according to its Facebook page) concocts, after nailing it with a risotto burger last year. The Challenge goes from October 1 to October 31; see http://sacveganchallenge.com.

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Female force

Can’t shake it off 1989 Ryan Adams’ song-by-song cover of Taylor Swift’s 1989 is obsessively good. On Twitter, Adams joked he was re-recording them in the style of the Smiths but the results achieve so much more. Here the forMusiC mer Whiskeytown frontman does T-Swift justice: Songs such as “Welcome to New York,” “Out of the Woods” and, yes, “Blank Space,” are re-imagined as heartbreaking country-punk gems. They reveal Swift’s talents—stripped of Top 40 pop excess—as a genuinely clever and gifted songwriter. The only thing that can top this is the inevitable Adams-Swift duet record.

Waiting breathlessly. http://paxamrecords.com.

—raChel leibroCk

Grow, baby, grow baCkyard CompoSting WorkShop For those lucky enough to have a garden or a spot of land big enough to plant living things, this class is for you. Wondering how to make your GardeninG yard flourish? At the Sacramento Public Library’s Arden branch, master gardeners from the University of California’s Division of Agricultural and Natural Resources will demonstrate how to lay the foundation of good gardening by cultivating and nurturing compost. Free, 3 p.m., Saturday, October 3; 2443 Marconi Avenue; www.saclibrary.org.

—eddie JorgenSen

rocking the block #rStreetbloCkparty The #RStreetBlockParty will have all the trappings of any self-respecting festival—live music, food, brewskis by local breweryskis, a kids’ zone—but it’ll also have 30 handmade-goods vendors, one of which Party makes crochet bikinis. If that’s not a selling point, the block party will showcase Gallery 1810, in addition to its other tenants, including a barbershopslash-bar. Sold! 3 p.m. Saturday, October 3; R and 12th streets; www.facebook.com/events/613180122157652.

—Shoka

Creative Women mini-Con Representation of nondudes in comics, both on covers and behind the scenes, may be getting better, but there’s still a ways to go. No worries, though, our local comics scene is on it—and Convention has been for a few years, if the upcoming third annual Creative Women Mini-Con is any indication.

The event brings together established, well-known female artists, writers and publishers with local talents for a day of celebrating the contributions of women to the art of comics.

One of the big names available for chatting up is Barbara Randall Kesel, who has written comic books for publishers such as Dark Horse, Image, CrossGen and Marvel.

For those of you who are really into Transformers—this should be all of you—be sure to talk with Mairghread Scott, author of IDW’s Transformers: Windblade series, and Erminia Saucedo, a voice actor for the fan project Transformers Elite, which depicts the continuing adventures of an all-female-identified squad of robots that appeared in one episode of the original series before getting ditched by Hasbro.

Local artists include Crystaline Owen, Angelina Brewer, Sarah René Kraft and Madelyne Templeton (whose art is pictured above).

The event takes place at Empire’s Comics Vault (1120 Fulton Avenue, Suite K) on Saturday, October 3. For more information, visit www.empirescomics.com.

—anthony Siino

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W e C at e r

to you!

ReviewS

Powerful and moving

by Bev SykeS

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Brother Andrey (Thomas Dean) is a talented young man with no drive whose best job seems to be head of the village council. Wife Natasha (Devon LaBar), the subject of derision for her fashion choices, becomes the shrew of the household.

Also outstanding are Tom Rhatigan as Dr. Chebutikin, an eccentric alcoholic doctor, Sean Thomas Olivares as Soleni, a social misfit in love with Irina; and Paul Scott as Baron Tuzenbach, also in love with Irina.

With all of their problems, the emotional connection among the sisters remains strong and is the tie that holds this family together. Ω

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3 Gem of the Ocean “Maybe we three sisters should open a Mexican restaurant?”

Three Sisters

4

three Sisters; 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday; $15. art court theater at Sacramento city college, (916) 558-2228, http://citytheatre.net. through october 18.

“They’ll forget us. Such is our fate, there is no help for it. What seems to us serious, significant, very important, will one day be forgotten or will seem unimportant.” So says Lt. Col. Vershinin (Earl Victorine) in one of the many melancholic moments of Anton Chekhov’s Three Sisters, now at Sacramento City College’s Art Court Theater, under the direction of Adrienne Sher.

Over four scenes, we watch the three sisters of the Prozorov family, and the others who inhabit the house, run the gamut of emotions, from the sheer joy of young Irina (Samantha Hannum) on the morning of her 20th birthday to the overwhelming depression of the whole household five years later.

This is a powerful, moving, sometimes funny production with an excellent cast. The sisters are played by Megan Aldrich (Olga), Nina Dramer (Masha) and Hannum. Each has her own personality: stern Olga, forced to be the family leader following the death of their father; Masha, stuck in an unhappy marriage and secretly in love with Vershinin; and Irina, whose idealistic dreams slowly die with the passage of time.

Playwright August Wilson took on the daunting and creative idea of writing 10 plays that explore African-American experiences through 10 different decades in the 20th century. Each play takes on some of the issues and challenges faced in each era, and in particular geographical areas, and dramatizes them through personal stories.

Celebration Arts has staged most of the plays in this 10-story theatrical library, and now is tackling Gem of the Ocean, set in 1904 Pittsburgh, when slavery is still fresh in both the experiences and memories of its characters.

Aunt Ester (a radiant Gloria Jones), an ex-slave with healing powers, welcomes various characters into her home, including ex-slave Solly Two Kings (Larry Lee Roberson); young Citizen Barlow (Roderick Hickman) who is fleeing an oppressive South and his own guilt; housekeeper Black Mary (Dominique Dates) and caregiver Eli (Preston Collier). Other characters include the local sheriff Caesar (Andre Ramey) who turns on his own people, and local peddler Rutherford (Jeff Bagley) who navigates the back roads and personal secrets of the land.

Its understandable why Artistic Director James Wheatley waited on Gem of the Ocean—the play presents many challenges along the way with its word-weighty script that often gets bogged down with lengthy pontificating monologues. The play could use some editing, and the production some pace-tightening, but there is a fascinating story that unfolds and some beautiful portrayals by the cast, especially Jones, Hickman, Roberson and Ramey.

—Patti RobeRts

Gem of the ocean; 8 p.m. thursday through Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday; $8-$15. celebration arts theatre; 4469 D Street, (916) 455-2787; www.celebrationarts.net. through october 31.

Now playiNg

4

Mr. Burns: A PostElectric Play

A small band of survivors gather together and, for entertainment purposes, try and recreate the popular “Cape Feare” episode of The Simpsons.

Over time, first seven years later, and then 75 years later, through collective storytelling and passed-on mythology, The Simpsons, as well as loads of other pop references, evolve and meld into strange legends and deep-meaning lore.

This is an overly simplistic overview of the complex and challenging plotline of playwright Anne Washburn’s play. A modern riff

1 FOUL

on a dystopian society, it’s fun, fascinating, fantastical and often very frustrating.

But seldom boring. Unfortunately, too often Washburn overloads her ideas with too many obscure cultural and pop references while jumbling WTF plotlines. However, since much about Mr. Burns is intriguing, if you go, put logic aside, embrace the overall premise—and watch the The Simpsons “Cape Feare” episode beforehand.

Th, F 8pm; Sa 2pm and 8pm;

Su, W 7pm. Through 10/4. $25-$35. Capital Stage, 2215 J Street; (916) 995-5464; http://capstage.org. P.R.

4

Seussical the Musical

Sparkling production marks this Davis Musical Theatre Company presentation of the classic, which is based on the works of Dr. Seuss. It boasts a full orchestra, a 30-member cast and is directed and choreographed by Ron Cisneros. The kids will love it, but there is enough “grown-up” humor for the adults as well. F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 10/4. $8-$18. DMTC Performing Arts Theater, 607 Pena Drive in Davis, www.dmtc.org. B.S.

ExCLuSivE ENgAgEmENT

Short reviews by Patti Roberts and Bev Sykes.

2

3

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FAIR

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The

FLATLANDERS Featuring

Moves better than Jagger’s.

PhOTO By GREG GORM

Dancing at the boundaries For devoted fans of modern dance, New York City’s Twyla Tharp needs little introduction. For the uninitiated, however, it’s key to know that Tharp has contributed much to theater, ballet and dance after years on stage, both in the United States and abroad. The Twyla Tharp Dance Company’s 50th Anniversary Tour finds the dancer and choreographer pushing at the boundaries of avant-garde dance yet again with a 12-dancer troupe that will both honor her legacy and perform her strange but wholly compelling choices of music. Selections include works by John Zorn, J.S. Bach, Henry Butler and Steve Bernstein. Overall, Tharp’s show is the true embodiment of a complete dance experience. Not only is she celebrating her 50th year in the dance business—an accomplishment very few have achieved—but she is also here to remind us there are few limits to professional choreography. 8 p.m. Tuesday, October 6; $13.50-$65. Mondavi Center, 1 Shields Avenue in Davis; www.twylatharp.org.

Joe Ely, Jimmie Dale Gilmore & Butch Hancock Friday, October 2 • 8:00pm The iconic Flatlanders perform in the intimate, historic Sutter Creek Theatre. Legendary accordion player, Joel Guzman, joins them for this special evening.

TICKETS AT: www.suttercreektheatre.com

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10.01.15 | SN&R | 29

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OctOber 8-17, 2015

4

by DaNiel BarNeS

@barnesonfilm

While Blunt’s performance expands upon the vulnerable but righteous badass she played in Edge of Tomorrow, the film makes Kate into such When a film works, the critical tendency is to praise a drippy naïf that it becomes monotonous and the director and move outward from there. But the palm- borderline silly. Kate is hurled into a world that sweat intensity of Sicario feels more like a triumph of she doesn’t understand, even after it’s explained brilliant actors and collaborators over a gaseous auteur. to her again and again and again. She encounters Sicario was directed by Denis Villeneuve, and he corruption around every corner, but keeps acting brings the same heavy-handed pomposity to this story as though she’s learning about it for the first time, of an upright FBI agent (Emily Blunt) thrown neck-first leading her to make choices that would be laughinto the moral swamp of the Mexican drug war that he able even in a slasher film. brought to Prisoners and Enemy. Villeneuve never met The ethically challenged supporting characters a fat-headed thematic nail that he couldn’t hammer until are more complex. Brolin’s sandal-wearing spook his hands fell off, and first-time screenwriter Taylor combines his flat-top fascist in Inherent Vice Sheridan’s terse script only encourages some with some Doc Sportello-like bemuseof his more lumbering and ponderous ment. Del Toro is even better as the Even impulses. mysterious Alejandro, a shadowy And yet even as I was frequently as I was “ghost” dressed all in white, and annoyed by the film, I still found the flip side to his Oscar-winning frequently annoyed Sicario tense and nightmarishly performance in Traffic (a clear by the film, I still immersive from its opening sequence reference point here), all icy of an FBI bust gone horribly wrong. found Sicario tense vengeance instead of baggy Villeneuve deserves credit for craftcompassion. and nightmarishly ing some gripping sequences (a standMore than anything, though, immersive. off at a bottlenecked border crossing is Sicario belongs to Deakins, a another highlight), but the film would be long-time Oscar bridesmaid who will unimaginable without the vivid and tactile probably win his first statue for the film. cinematography of Roger Deakins, the bruising When the director doesn’t get in his way, Johann Johannsson score and the gripping performances Deakins delivers some of his most potent images— of Blunt, Josh Brolin and Benicio del Toro. a rooftop view of Juarez on fire, a slow tracking Blunt is amazing as Kate Macer, a brusque and shot toward scores of squatting detainees, the surreal driven field agent recruited by a shadowy conglomeranight vision sequences, the suffocating close-ups. tion of military, law enforcement, intelligence agencies, The black magic-hour moral pinch of this world is vigilantes and criminals for a cross-border, extralegal all there in the visuals … there’s no need for telling mission whose targets and purpose are never fully when a cameraman is this good at showing. Ω explained. Kate is repulsed by the excessive firepower and unclear motives of her cartel-baiting comrades, but she still follows the mission from the corpse-strewn streets of Juarez into the subterranean tunnels on the Poor Fair Good Very excellent Arizona border.

Good

1 2 3 4 5

30 | SN&R | 10.01.15

fiLm CLiPS

BY DANIEL BARNES & JIM LANE

Your Downtown Service Shop SMOG CHECK

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4

Everest

Director Baltasar Kormákur and writers William Nicholson and Simon Beaufoy recount the notorious 1996 disaster on Mount Everest, when a sudden blizzard, along with some (possibly) avoidable delays and (possibly) reckless chance-taking, led to the deaths of eight climbers as their weather, oxygen and luck ran out. The movie focuses on two fatalities, New Zealander Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) and American Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhaal), and one incredibly lucky survivor, Texan Beck Weathers (Josh Brolin). The movie could possibly stand to be 10 minutes shorter, and characters become hard to distinguish as the snow and beards thicken, but it’s riveting nonetheless, especially in IMAX 3-D, and utterly convincing, whether filmed on the actual slopes, in the Italian Alps, or in studios in Rome and England. J.L.

1

Hotel Transylvania 2

Dracula (voice of Adam Sandler), his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) and son-in-law Jonathan (Andy Samberg) revel in the birth of Dennis, their hybrid offspring—but is the little tyke more human or vampire? Dear God in heaven, please tell us that nobody really cares. Like its 2012 predecessor, this emptycalories junk-food movie is harmless enough, but it’s even more plotless, laughless and worthless, nothing more than a make-work project for Sandler’s family (daughters Sadie and Sunny, nephew Jared; co-writer Robert Smigel has a couple of kids in there too) and friends (Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, David Spade, etc.) and the members of Animation Guild Local 839. The first movie bid fair to rival Madagascar, Ice Age and Rio as the worst animation franchise ever, and this one delivers on that threat. J.L.

3

The Intern

A retired widower (Robert De Niro) decides to go back to work, and lands a job as a “senior intern” at an online clothing retailer, where the workaholic boss (Anne Hathaway) wasn’t really sold on this internship idea to begin with. Writer-director Nancy Meyers (What Women Want, The Holiday) once again deploys her regrettable penchant for cute contrivances and cheap forced gags—Linda Lavin as De Niro’s man-hungry neighbor particularly suffers in that department, but nobody really escapes unscathed. An episode of De Niro and his co-workers (Adam DeVine, Zack Pearlman, Nat Wolff) breaking into Hathaway’s mother’s house to delete a nasty email is simply ridiculous. Meyers’ direction is careless, too—pacing is limp and shots don’t match. Hathaway and De Niro save the day; they’re wonderful together. J.L.

2

3175

The Martian

When astronaut-botanist Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is struck by debris and presumed dead during an emergency evacuation of Mars, he’s stranded on the red planet with limited supplies and no means of communication, only surviving through scientific ingenuity. The Martian has an irresistible

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The Walk

In 1974, French tightrope walker Philippe Petit and a loose gang of accomplices secretly slung a wire across the just-completed World Trade Center in New York, and Petit walked the void between the Twin Towers for nearly an hour. This story has already been told to great satisfaction in the magical 2008 documentary Man on Wire, and Robert Zemeckis’ uneven biopic The Walk just runs its needle over the same narrative grooves. The Walk exists only to get to the Twin Towers sequence, where the technical mastery of Zemeckis and his special effects team takes over. That vertiginous, nearly realtime tightrope sequence is certainly lucid and entrancing, especially on an IMAX screen, but Zemeckis spends 90 minutes grasping at straws to get us there.

Zemeckis leans heavily on the charm and physicality of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, overnarrating straight-to-camera as Petit, but his Pepe Le Pew accent wears down any goodwill. D.B.

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Black Mass

Johnny Depp stars in Black Mass as the real-life 1970s crime kingpin James “Whitey” Bulger, a mass murderer allowed to run wild in the streets of South Boston for years due to his favored status as an FBI informant.

The script strains to paint Bulger as a scary but vaguely sympathetic grieving father, an emotionally wounded Nosferatu in a Member’s Only cowl (true to form, Depp allows his prosthetic teeth to do most of the acting), but that just leaves him at the center of a film without a center. A hilarious chowder rainbow of bad Boston accents aside, Black Mass is such a sturdily faceless production that it could have come from a kit labeled “Whitey Bulger Biopic”—director Scott Cooper just happened to assemble the pieces. If you’re interested in the Bulger story, Joe Berlinger directed a perfectly serviceable documentary last year; start there and skip this rote biopic. D.B.

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premise—Cast Away in space without the FedEx product placement—but director Ridley Scott and screenwriter Drew Goddard tell it in the most plodding and predictable manner possible.

It doesn’t help that every character is a glib, Sorkin-lite sassypants devoid of emotional complexity, or that the best parts feel lifted from better movies. Most maddening, though, is the film’s compulsion to dumb down and overexplain, from Damon’s direct-to-camera video diaries to the abundance of onscreen titles to the copious establishing shots of Earth and Mars, just so we don’t get them mixed up. It’s a film that respects the concept of intelligence; I just wish it respected my intelligence. D.B.

2

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

Those who remember 2014’s eminently forgettable The Maze Runner get a fresh fix here from director Wes Ball and writer T.S. Nowlin, adapting James Dashner’s teen novel.

As derivative as the first movie, this one’s a mashup of Mad Max and Night of the Living Dead, with our hero (Dylan O’Brien) and his goodlooking friends escaping from custody into the ravaged world. If you’re not fed up with the sci-fi subgenre where brave, photogenic teenagers in a dystopian future fight the never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American Way, this one is passable enough—The Hunger Games without Jennifer Lawrence, Divergent without Shailene Woodley. Patricia Clarkson again does a guest star walk-through, as does Lili Taylor, who (spoiler alert!) unfortunately won’t be returning for the dreaded Part 3. J.L.

3

Pawn Sacrifice

Director Ed Zwick and writer Steven Knight take us back to 1972, when the chess match between American challenger Bobby Fischer (Tobey Maguire) and Soviet world champion Boris Spassky (Liev Schreiber) transfixed the world and provided a bloodless battlefield in the Cold War. Maguire gives us Fischer’s fiery paranoid passion without his vulpine stare; it makes him more sympathetic than the real Fischer ever was. Meanwhile, Knight and Zwick raise provocative questions about the politics and people involved (including Michael Stuhlbarg and Peter Skarsgaard

as Fischer’s support team), then decline to answer them. It’s ironic that a player as unconventional as Fischer should inspire such a thoroughly conventional biopic. Still, plain professionalism has its upside, if less spectacularly so than genius. J.L.

2

The Perfect Guy

The boyfriend-from-hell thriller The Perfect Guy is barely a professional effort, and frequently veers in to the lane of lurid trash, but its depiction of white-collar African-Americans is an extreme rarity in the cinema, and the film serves a woefully underserved audience. Too bad it’s a total dud. Sanaa Lathan stars as Leah, a 36-year-old political lobbyist whose charming new boyfriend turns out to be a psychotic stalker. Director David M. Rosenthal proves pretty inept at building suspense, and every attempt at a “thriller moment” falls short. The third act is needlessly distended—it doesn’t tie up loose ends so much as it double-knots ends that had already been tied—and the dialogue is clunky beyond belief. Only Lathan’s earnestness holds the film together—she’s so good while being given so little to work with, it’s a crime that she isn’t headlining better films than this one. D.B.

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Phoenix

Christian Petzold’s quietly mournful post-World War II elegy Phoenix whispers infinite thematic and narrative echoes of Vertigo, but the film’s cold-blooded aloofness fails to fully captivate. As the war comes to a close, a horribly burned concentration camp survivor named Nelly (Nina Hoss) is smuggled across the German border and into a medical clinic, where the doctor offers her a new face—the old ones are “out of fashion.” Nelly insists on keeping as much of her old face as possible, and returns to Berlin to rehab and reconnect with Johnny, the husband who betrayed her to the Nazis. Phoenix is the name of a creepo nightclub in the American sector, but Nelly is also a literal phoenix, rising from her own scorched ashes to live anew.

Petzold slowly sketches out a world struck dumb by self-imposed amnesia, and Phoenix ends at a wallop of a destination, but it’s not an especially compelling journey. D.B.

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10.01.15 | SN&R | 31

Noises on NorCal NoiseFest celebrates two decades of alarm bells, power tools and other weird sounds

by AAron CArnes

Photo by luke fitz

many old faces from the early days—including Colley, who hasn’t played the festival in several years.

“Everything was cobbled together by us. We were all junk hoarders, thrift shop salvage hoarders,” Colley says of that first event. “Some people used guitars, but I preferred nonconventional instruments. I had a prejudice against guitars and drums.”

Things haven’t changed much since. Noise artists still experiment with sound using noiseFest co-founder William Burg in the elements. traditional and nontraditional instruments, and because of the very nature of the music, are doing so in consistently new and unusual ways.

Floyd Diebel, co-founder of the NorCal NoiseFest, “If you strip away all the other elements, like remembers one act at the premiere event 20 years melody and lyrical structure, what’s left? That’s what ago at the Guild Theater, when a guy set up a bunch a lot of noise musicians are still searching for,” Burg of old fire alarm bells all over the theater and just let says. “It still isn’t a popular form of music.” them ring. And ring. That was his set.

These days, most major cities have a noise festiAnd that’s hardly been the festival’s most extreme val, like the popular No Fun Festival in New York, performance in the years since. William Burg, one which started in 2004, almost a decade after NorCal of the festival’s current organizers, also performed NoiseFest. that year. He formed a band specifically to play the The Sacramento event grew out of a small underinaugural event. His group Uberkunst had a couple ground noise community with loose connections to people improvising on electric guitars while the basement punk shows and the industrial the rest of the band demolished some scene. Diebel and Jay Truesdale threw old computers with power tools and the first one in 1995, held over two sledgehammers.

“It’s sound nights at the Guild Theater and Joe Colley, who performed Sacramento State. art—an outsider under the name Crawl Unit, “I wanted to break out of the approach to sound that year brought a bunch of whole ‘We’re just a bunch of special Braille tape cassette art. It’s obviously not for punk rock kids’ aesthetic. We decks. The machines played were welcoming all different everyone.” tape at unusual speeds and even kinds of audiences,” Diebel backwards. With it, he created Lob says. “The main thing was that a symphony of weird tape loops, organizer, NorCal NoiseFest everyone was there to have a which he combined with the sound spirit of play and experimentation. of manipulated hunks of metal.

Sometimes that leads to bad art, but “It’s sound art—an outsider approach sometimes it leads to really cool stuff.” to sound art. It’s obviously not for everyone.

The aim is to keep its DIY spirit intact—and It’s a genre unto itself. It has subgenres, but it’s not retain the freedom to keep it a purely noise festival. a subgenre of any other scene,” says the singularly “We want to keep it low-key, that way it’s like named Lob, who plays in the ever-shifting, consisa convention where [people] are coming to meet tently improvised Instagon. friends and just have a good time,” Lob says. Ω Lob, along with Burg, is a current NoiseFest organizer. Both have performed at every NoiseFest since that first one. This weekend, NoiseFest turns Check out NorCal Noisefest at 7 p.m. friday, october 2, at luna’s Cafe, 20, and they’re celebrating with three days of sound 1414 16th Street; 2 p.m. Saturday, october 3, and 3 p.m. Sunday, including a handful of bigger names such as Big City october 4, at Cafe Colonial, 3520 Stockton boulevard. tickets are $10 per night. learn more at www.norcalnoisefest.com.

Orchestra and Monte Cazazza. There will also be 32

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SouNd advice

Jazzy, festive, punk Back to the ’90s: It was a blast from Sacramento’s past last Friday at Harlow’s with a one-night return of local jazz-pop-funk-reggae-alternative duo Papa’s Culture. The group used to play all over town in the ’90s and scored a deal on Elektra, which garnered a lot of critical acclaim but only modest sales. Of course, it’s amazing to think that they ever scored that deal and were marketed to an alternative audience in 1993 considering their heavy jazz influences.

This was the era of grunge.

There were no big emotional speeches at the show explaining why E. Blake Davis and Harley White Jr. decided to throw this reunion, but they were obviously happy to be on stage. The musicianship was incredible, tight and energetic, and the songs seem much more mature and steeped in soul than their original 1993 versions, which would occasionally dip into quirky They Might Be Giants and hip-hop territory.

The two songs to garner the biggest responses were the offbeat “Muffin Man,” which they introduced as a singalong, and of course the tune that was the closest thing they had to a hit single, the breezyjazzy “Swim,” which closed with an extended, percussive break that built up to a lively funk jam.

—AAron CArnes

Porch party: Watching Be Brave Bold Robot perform on a sidewalk with more than a hundred fellow onlookers—and feet dangling from the roof above—felt like a simultaneously special and completely normal Midtown Sacramento experience.

It’s a wonder Sac PorchFest didn’t happen sooner.

Last Saturday, three Midtown homes transformed their porches into stages for an all-afternoon house-hop of a music festival. It was free, and the all-ages crowd was over-the-top enthusiastic, hootin’ and hollerin’ louder than at any local show I’ve been to in recent memory.

The lineup—Sammie Artist of the Year Joseph in the Well, an amazing four-piece jazz ensemble from the Sacramento Philharmonic & Opera and bluegrass string band One Button Suit among them—proved perfectly fitting for the relaxed yet proud vibe.

Full disclosure: I live at the Eye Street Co-op, which was one of the

porches at the festival, but I was not involved in any of the fest’s planning or execution. So this is a relatively unbiased write-up, unlike VICE Thump’s review of TBD Fest, which was presented by Thump.

In any case, what matters is that the PorchFest crowd was ecstatic.

If anything, people were smiling too hard, wiggling their shoulders too joyfully. Best of all, by the end, so many were just neighbors enjoying their right to public spaces—people who just happened to walk by and stick around.

—JAnelle Bitker jan el l e b @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

‘Gender is over’: When Cayetana took the stage last week, the Philly trio held no pretenses about its spot on the bill. The floor at Ace of Spades remained largely bare.

“We’re going to play some songs you’ve probably never heard,” singer-songwriter Augusta Koch told the audience, the majority of whom had likely migrated to the stage early to snag a prime spot for headliner Against Me!

No worries, by set’s end the band had earned at least a few new fans with its angsty mix of ’80s college rock, ’90s-era riot grrrl and millennial punk. The band played much of its 2014 album Nervous Like Me but also debuted two new songs, both darker and dirgier than the older songs. The perpetually blue-haired Koch proved to be a charismatic draw, belting out a tortured squeak of heartbreak and nostalgia as she sang about moving out of an ex’s, watching a friend try to get clean and childhood summers.

By the time Florida punk band Against Me! hit the stage, the club was nearly packed with a mix of aging, aggro punks and younger fans in agreement with the slogan on Laura Jane Grace’s T-shirt: “Gender is over.” Whatever the reason for being there, everyone in the room seemed to come alive on the band’s timeless energy, moshing, thrashing and singing along to their breakneck anthemic punk—the band whipped through five songs in just about 10 minutes. Clearly the more some people change, the more some bands thankfully stay the same.

—rAChel leiBroCk r ach e l l @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

10.01.15 | SN&R | 33

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The Mowgli’s

Acid King

R. Kelly

Little Tents

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Sacramento State univerSity, 7:30 p.m., $10-$15

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Starlite lounge, 8 p.m., $12

The Mowgli’s make the sort of cheery, heartfelt indie pop that’ll either make you believe in love—or throw up everywhere.

The band’s latest album, Kids In Love, explores intimate love as well as universal love, with shout-along harmoPoP RoCK nies and country undertones.

With seven pieces, though, expect a more rock ’n’ roll live experience. The Mowgli’s got their start performing at Occupy protests in Los Angeles—the band’s self-proclaimed mission is to spread love and kindness, and the members encourage fans to donate to various charities. If you are contemplating flowers right now, then this is clearly your show. 6000 J Street, www.themowglis.net.

thunder valley caSino reSort, 8 p.m., $55-$200

Bewitching audiences with its thick, bass-heavy wall of doom, Acid King’s new album, Middle of Nowhere, Center of Everywhere, continues to amplify the trio’s 20-year-old spectral aesthetic. This night also features a variety of metal acts, each with its own take on the genre. From Cura Cochino’s more sludgy, slow-tempo reputation, to the dark and psychedelic vibes of Chrch, this is a must-see show for fans who like their music slow and low. What’s DooM more, Chrch will also celebrate the release of its LP Unanswered Hymns, backed

by Battleground Records. Noctooa from Oakland will also perform. 1517 21st Street, http://acidking.bandcamp.com.

—Janelle Bitker

Let’s play the “Trapped in the Closet” quiz, all right? OK. (1) What’s the name of the man who finds R. Kelly in the closet?

R&B (2) Who is following R. Kelly on the road? (3) Where does R. Kelly shoot the man who finds him in the closet? (4) Who answers the phone when R. Kelly calls his home? (5) What does R. Kelly find in his bed?

Answers: Rufus, a cop, in the butt, a man, a condom. Did you pass? Anyway, sadly, this gig appears to be sold out, but keep tryin’.

Or just stay at home listening to “Ignition” on repeat. Beep! Beep! 1200 Athens Avenue in Lincoln, www.r-kelly.com.

—nick miller

Starlite lounge, 8 p.m., call for cover Where are all the young new bands in Sacramento? This is a question often asked by the elders of the local scene. Anyway, Little Tents walk the indie rock-to-emo line that won’t scare fans of either genre away.

The Fun Colors record begs to be heard live.

Little Tents are joined by somewhat local VVomen of Yuba City, who INDIE RoCK do the same ’90s emo nostalgia thing that rekindles Jawbreaker and American Football. Traveling down from Portland is And And And, who often tour in a van/mobile basketball court dubbed Rigsketball. Arrive early if you’ve got lingering hoop dreams. 1517 21st Street, (916) 704-0711, www.facebook.com/littletents916.

—Steph rodriguez

—Blake gilleSpie

2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com 10/1 7PM $27.50ADV

10/4 $15ADV 5:30PM

DAVE ALVIN AND PHIL ALVIN WITH THE GUILTY ONES

GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.

DEAD ROCK WEST

10/2 $10ADV 5:30PM

A NIGHT OF FLAMENCO WITH JASON WRIGHT & SARA 10/8 $20ADV 7PM MARIA BIG MIKE AND THE RHYTHM 10/2 $12 9:30PM SECTION MUSTACHE HARBOR YACHT ROCK EXPLOSION

PETTY THEFT:

SAN FRANCISCO TRIBUTE TO TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS CHERRY BOMB (JOHN MELLENCAMP TRIBUTE)

10/9 $12ADV 8PM

CIVIL TWILIGHT DREAMERS

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COMING SOON 10/10 10/10 10/15 10/16 10/16 10/21 10/22 10/23 10/24 10/25 10/26 10/30 10/31 10/31 11/01 11/03 11/05 11/07 11/07 11/08

Joni Morris: A Tribute to Patsy Cline Duran Duran Duran Mudhoney Nylon Lyonn Wonderbread 5 Sir Mix-A-Lot Luna Sorta Like Heaven Foreverland Classic Chris Jones New Kingston The Cheeseballs Noah Gundersen Matt Pond PA Matalachi The Real McKenzies Diego’s Umbrella Jeff Daniels and the Ben Daniels Band

Some Fear None In The Valley Below

live MuSic voted beSt bar in roSeville! 2015 -preSS tribune

oct 02

the stuff

oct 03

two peace (reggae)

oct 09

christian dewild

oct 10

one leg chuck (reggae)

oct 16

honey b

oct 17

simple creation

oct 23

andrew castro

oct 30

in the no

oct 31

humblewolf

27 Beers on Draft trivia monDays @ 6:30pm open mic weDnesDays sign-ups @ 7:30pm pint night monDays 5-8pm

101 Main Street, roSeville 916-774-0505 · lunch/dinner 7 days a week fri & sat 9:30pm - close 21+ facebook.com/bar101roseville

LET’S PLay THE “TRaPPED IN THE CLOSET” qUIz.

T UE

07 WED

The Sheepdogs

Burning Palms

Orquesta Buena Vista Social Club

The Boardwalk, 8 p.m., $15

Third space arT collecTive, 7 p.m., $5

Back in 2011, Canadian rock band the Sheepdogs made history by being the firstever unsigned band to grace the cover of Rolling Stone. Four years later they’re on tour in support of their latest album ROCK Future Nostalgia, an apt name for a sound that harkens sharply back to 1970s classic rock acts like Lynard Skynard and the Allman Brothers Band. The first single, “Take a Trip,” is a nearly perfect intersection of Led Zeppelin à la “Hey Hey What Can I Do” and The Black Keys (which makes sense, considering the band was formerly produced by Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney). 9426 Greenback Lane in Orangevale, www.thesheepdogs.com.

—deena drewis

Photo by XIIIfromtoKyo

S UN

06

05

mondavi cenTer, 7 p.m., $27.50

08

T HU

Pseudogod press cluB, 8 p.m., $15

It took less than four months from Burning Palms’ debut show to score a record deal with Burger Records imprint Lollipop Records. That debut album, Church of Ra, is good—but they really take shape on their sophomore self-titled album, an eerie mix of tribal beats, droning undertones, explosive guitars and garage-pop sensibilities. Lead singer and principal songwriter Simone Stopford spent years traveling around polishing these dark and catchy tunes.

INDIE It wasn’t till she landed in Tucson, of all places, that she met the right folks and formed the group, allowing her to truly unleash her inner P.J. Harvey. 946 Olive Drive in Davis, www.facebook.com/burningpalms.

One of the better cultural fads of the ’90s (no, not Beanie Babies) comes to Davis next Wednesday when Orquesta Buena Vista Social Club performs at the Mondavi Center.

All of your favorite performers from the 1999 film will be there (minus deceased members) to say adios on their farewell CUBaN tour, which will wrap up in (where else?) Havana later this year. Seriously, you couldn’t go to any vaguely South-ofAmerican restaurant without hearing this record in the late ’90s. El Salvadoran papusas? Check. Brazilian acai? Check. I’m pretty sure I even heard it while waiting to pick up some lumpia. One Shields Avenue in Davis, www.buenavistasocialclub.com.

—aaron carnes

—Brian Breneman

The Cold War may be long over, but the lads in Russia’s blackened death metal outfit Pseudogod will most certainly bring an ill wind with them, and an odd chill DEaTH METaL will creep down the spines of those in attendance. Standout songs like “Awakening Of Archdaemon” and “Vehement Decimation” will cause intense, painful rashes in the nether-regions, and perhaps even internal bleeding, upon first listen. Also joining Satan’s party are Crurifragium, Ritual Genocide and Defecrator. It’s not often we get bands this extreme in Sacramento, so expect a capacity turnout for this one.

Come enjoy the blasphemy. 2030 P Street, www.facebook.com/pseudogod.official.

—eddie Jorgensen

upcoming events october 1

the lacs october 30

halloween bash part 1 october 31

halloween bash part 2 sunday football plus brunch

bottomless mason jar mimosas 10-2 just $10!

50¢ wingS Spin the wheel drink SpecialS Free $10 StoneyS burgerS to FirSt 25 gueStS at 5:30-6

Free dance leSSonS nightly

1320 Del paso blvD

Stoneyinn.com | 916.927.6023

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BADLANDS

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

THURSDAY 10/1

FRIDAY 10/2

#TBT and 5 Card Stud with throwback video requests, 8pm, call for cover

Fabulous and Gay Fridays, 9pm, call for cover

Spectacular Saturdays top 40 and high energy dance, 9pm, call for cover

THE STUFF, 9:30pm, call for cover

TWO PEACE, 9:30pm, no cover

SAN QUINN, TURF TALK, JG; 8pm, call for cover

DISCORDIA, GRAVESHADOW; 8pm, call for cover

STRAY FROM THE PATH, COMEBACK KID, BEING AS AN OCEAN; 6:30pm, $15

FRONZILLA, PALISADES, WHITNEY PEY- THE SHEEPDOGS, RADIO MOSCOW; TON, IT LIVES IT BREATHES; 6:30pm, $14 7pm, $15

BAR 101 List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

101 Main St., Roseville; (916) 774-0505

BLUE LAMP

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

THE BOARDWALK

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

COUNTRY CLUB SALOON

Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

DISTRICT 30

Bass Jackers, Alexx Adam; call for time and cover

FACES

Everything Happens karaoke, dance and swim; 9pm-2am, no cover

Absolut Fridays dance party, 9pm, $5-$10

Deejay dancing and Sequin Saturdays drag show, 9pm, $5-$12

FOX & GOOSE

MARTY COHEN & THE SIDEKICKS, 8pm, no cover

KEVIN SECONDS AND FRIENDS, 9pm, $5

THE STUMMIES, THE JINGLE MONKIES; 9pm, $5

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

GOLDFIELD TRADING POST

HARLOW’S

DAVE ALVIN AND PHIL ALVIN WITH THE GUILTY ONES, 7pm, $27.50-$30

THE HIDEAWAY BAR & GRILL

Trash Rock Thursdays, 9pm, no cover

LUNA’S CAFE & JUICE BAR

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

1119 21st St., (916) 549-2779

A Night of Flamenco, 7pm, $10-$15; MUSTACHE HARBOR, 9:30pm, $12

916.382.4845 • doscoyotes.com /doscoyotesR15 SN&R

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10.01.15

PETTY THEFT, CHERRY BOMB; 9pm, $15-$18

Trivia night, 7:30pm Tu; Bingo, 1pm W; GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR., 6:30pm, $15-$20 Record Club, M; Cactus Pete’s 78 RPM Record Roundup, 8pm Tu Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M; Open-mic comedy, 8pm Tu

That Thing on Friday, 10pm, $5

Salsa Wednesday, 7:30pm W, $5

1800 15TH ST across from Ace of Spades |

Open mic, M, no cover; Tacos and Trivia, 7pm Tu, no cover

Norcal NoiseFest 2015, 7pm, $10

Concert Pack.

NEW MIDTOWN LOCATION R15

EDM and karaoke, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5 Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub quiz, 7pm Tu; All Vinyl Wednesdays, 6pm W, no cover

Sunday Sinema, 8pm, call for cover

Two Tacos or a Southwest Burrito with any soda or bottled Microbrew

36

Sunday Mass with heated pool, drag show, 2pm, no cover

HIT PARADE, 9pm, $5

MIDTOWN BARFLY

Ś

BEATKNOCKS, 8pm Tu; PROPHETS OF ADDICTION, INFINITE VASTNESS; 8pm W

DJ DM, 10pm, call for cover

5681 Lonetree Blvd., Rocklin; (916) 626-6366

1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931

BARS 4 CASH, 8pm, call for cover

MCCOY TYLER BAND, call for time and cover

HALFTIME BAR & GRILL

2565 Franklin Blvd., (916) 455-1331

Trivia Night, 6:30pm M, no cover; Open-mic night, 7:30pm W, no cover

BRANDED, 9pm, no cover

1603 J St., (916) 476-5076

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 10/5-10/7 Feel Good Mondays happy hour all night, M; Trapicana, W, call for cover

KYLE ROWLAND, CROSSFIRE Stevie Ray Vaughan tribute; call for time and cover

THE COZMIC CAFE

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

Hey local bands!

BOB WOODS, 5pm, call for cover; EZ STREET BAND, 9pm, call for cover

4007 Taylor Rd., Loomis; (916) 652-4007 594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481

SUNDAY 10/4 Sunday Tea Dance and Beer Bust, 4-8pm, call for cover

SEAN HAYES, 8pm, $27-$32

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

YOUNG CHEDDAR, 8pm, $10

SATURDAY 10/3

THURSDAY 10/1

FRIDAY 10/2

SATURDAY 10/3

SUNDAY 10/4

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 10/5-10/7

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN 1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

OLD IRONSIDES

Guest chefs serve $5 plates, M; Karaoke, 9pm Tu; Open-mic, 9pm W

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504

ON THE Y

670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731

THE PALMS PLAYHOUSE

13 Main St., Winters; (530) 795-1825

PISTOL PETE’S

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

SURVIVING THE ERA, ONOFF; 8pm, call for cover

RACHELLE DEBELLE, PETER CORNETT, DEVON GALLEY; 8:30pm, call for cover

POWERHOUSE PUB

WAY OUT WEST, 10pm, call for cover

WONDERBREAD 5, 10pm, call for cover

DISCO REVOLUTION, 10pm, call for cover

LORI MORVAN, 3pm, call for cover

Live band karaoke, 8pm Tu, call for cover; Local Licks, 8pm W

THE PRESS CLUB

Bottom 40 dance party, 10pm, call for cover

Pop 40 dance party, 9pm, $5

BURNING PALMS, EUGENE UGLY, ALICIA MURPHY; 5pm, call for cover

FERNANDO, 50 WATT HEAVY; 8pm M; Youth Cult dance party, 9pm W

SHADY LADY SALOON

TESSIE MARIE, 9pm, no cover

ZORELLI, 9pm, no cover

SWITCHBLADE TRIO, 9pm, no cover

140 Harrison Ave., Auburn; (530) 885-5093 614 Sutter St., Folsom; (916) 355-8586 2030 P St., (916) 444-7914 1409 R St., (916) 231-9121

CRESCENT KATZ, 9pm, no cover

SOPHIA’S THAI KITCHEN

FOXTAILS BRIGADE, 9:30pm, $5

STARLITE LOUNGE

ACID KING, CHRCH, CURA COCHINO, NOCTOOA; 8pm, call for cover

129 E St., Davis; (530) 758-4333 1517 21st St., (916) 704-0711

SWABBIES

5871 Garden Hwy, (916) 920-8088

TORCH CLUB

X TRIO, 5pm, no cover; FELICE LA ZAE, LEFT COAST COUNTRY; 9pm, $6

904 15th St., (916) 443-2797

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, W, no cover

Trivia night, 9:30pm Tu; Open-mic 8pm W LITTLE TENTS, VVOMEN, AND AND AND; 8pm, call for cover

Jonny Cash tribute, 6pm, $5

MICK MARTIN AND GUESTS, 2pm, $10

PAILER AND FRATIS, 5:30pm, no cover; TERRY HANCK, 9pm, $10

POMEGRANATE, 5:30pm; DAVE GONZALES, TWILIGHT DRIFTERS; 9pm, $10

Blues jam, 4pm, no cover; GROOVE SESSION, 8pm, $5

MICHAEL RAY, 8pm Tu, no cover; GRACE LOVE, SEAN LEHE; 9pm W, $6

Consolcade game night, Tu, call for time, no cover

All ages, all the time CAFE COLONIAL

3520 Stockton Blvd., (916) 736-3520

YANKEE BRUTAL, THE DELCINE, THE COMMUNITY; 7pm, $8

THE COLONY

3512 Stockton Blvd., (916) 718-7055

SHINE

1400 E St., (916) 551-1400

Jazz jam with Jason Galbraith, 8pm, no cover

CELESTIONS, HONYOCK, FAILURE MACHINE; 8pm, $6

NorCal NoiseFest 2015, 2pm, $10

NorCal NoiseFest 2015, 3pm, $10

DEATH ROGEN, COLD TRAP, SQUID GIRL; 8pm, $5

NorCal NoiseFest 2015, 2pm, $10

NorCal NoiseFest 2015, 3pm, $10

SACRAMENTO CLASSIC JAZZ MESSENGERS, 7pm, $10

ACE OF SPADES CHELSEA GRIN – SECRETS - CRUEL HAND - THE PLOT IN YOU

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10

JON PARDI TYLER RICH

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11

REBEL SOULJAHZ TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13

ZZ WARD

MARC SCIBILIA

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15

GANG OF FOUR

Rachelle DeBelle with Peter Cornett and Devon Galley 8:30pm Saturday. Call for cover.

Pistol Pete’s Singer-songwriter

1417 R Street, Sacramento, 95814 www.aceofspadessac.com

ALL AGES WELCOME!

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8

THE AMITY AFFLICTION

Left Coast Country with Felice La Zae 9pm Thursday, $6.

Torch Club Country

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16

BUCKCHERRY SONS OF TEXAS - TRUST DIVIDED

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17

THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT SUNDAY, OCTOBER 18

MASTODON MONDAY, OCTOBER 19

FRANK TURNER & THE SLEEPING SOULS

SKINNY LISTER - BEANS ON TOAST WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21

COMMON KINGS

COMING

SOON

10/24 Creative Collab Tour Feat.

Matthew Espinosa 10/25 Riff Raff 10/28 For Today 10/30 Super Joint Ritual 10/31 Parkway Drive 11/01 Dave Davies of the Kinks 11/02 Machine Head 11/10 The AP Tour Featuring Mayday Parade 11/13 Atmosphere 11/14 Too Short 11/15 Mayhem/Watian 11/17 Yellowcard & New Found Glory 11/18 The Charlatans 11/19 Pepper 11/20 Blind Guardian 11/21 blessthefall 11/22 Misfits 11/27 Amaranthe 11/28 Public Image Limited (PiL) 12/09 Reverend Horton Heat 12/13 Joe Nichols 12/31 Y&T

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT ALL DIMPLE RECORDS LOCATIONS AND ARMADILLO RECORDS

10.01.15

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Tickets on sale now PRICES START AT $40

Neo-Crocker Expect the unexpected

Modern Culture Party

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2015 8 PM - MIDNIGHT / 21+

Live Entertainment

SIZ ZLING SIRENS, PIANO LOUNGE, DUELING DJS & MORE

Cash Bars & Bites

CHA MPAGNE, BEER & WINE GARDEN, ABSINTHE BAR

tickets.crockerartmuseum.org

Print ads start at $6/wk. www.newsreview.com or (916) 498-1234 ext. 5 Phone hours: M-F 9am-5pm.

All ads post online same day.

Deadlines for print: Line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Adult line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Display ad deadline: Friday 2pm

Online ads are

STILL

FREE!*

*Nominal fee for adult entertainment. All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. Further, the News & Review specifically reserves the right to edit, decline or properly classify any ad. Errors will be rectified by re-publication upon notification. The N&R is not responsible for error after the first publication.

The N&R assumes no financial liability for errors or omission of copy. In any event, liability shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error or omission.

The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

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SN&R | 10.01.15

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MUST SELL EVERYTHING! Hospital bed w/trapeze $1000 Metal frame porta-potty $40 2 mobility walkers w/seat $30 each Electric mobility scooter deluxe model - $1000 Admiral fridge - $50 Emerson 32” flat screen TV - $75 Magnavox 18” TV w/CD/VCR - $75 Tascam Porta-studio - $100 Yamaha and Roland keyboards, pro quality/great sound - $75-$200 BOSS multi-effect foot pedal - $100 Huge flood light - $20 Security metal gate door/windows - $40 Call (916) 454-0265 or (916) 494-8398 Sacramento area

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10.01.15

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SN&R | 39

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Adult failures and other heartbreaks My stepmom found porn on my dad’s phone and figured out he uses escort services when he’s out of town for work.

My dad denied it. I believed him. But she showed me proof. I’ve been sick to my stomach ever since. My dad divorced my mom because he said she was a drunk and refused to have sex with him. I believed him. But now I think he’s a sex addict and must have cheated on her, too. I was so rude to my mom and I feel like such a shit. So I don’t have a mom or a dad or anyone I can trust except my girlfriend (we’re in high school). I don’t know what to do but don’t say therapy. I went once and it’s useless.

You’ve been shoved into those choppy waters without adult supervision. Accept the universe’s invitation to find better role models. Think about the qualities you admire, and the adults who possess them.

Invite one of those adults—a relative, coach, teacher, pastor or neighbor—to coffee. Ask the hard questions about how that person became who they are.

Establish an ongoing relationship with at least three mentors. Tell at least one about your family drama. Here’s why: Each of us carries a story that once caused shame or embarrassment. By telling the story to a caring adult, you’ll discover that you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, even being a brat to Psychotherapy is a your mom isn’t your Beneath the shiny framework for underfault, because your surfaces of a persona, standing our lives and father manipulated ourselves. It’s inforevery person is a mix of you. (If you were an mation. But since that adult, of course, you darkness and light. information is filtered would have to take through human beings, some responsibility I’ll assume you didn’t for participating in the find the right therapist. It manipulation). So again: takes diligence to find a theraYou’ve done nothing wrong. pist who stays present with a client’s Breathe that reality into your heart. issues, maintains healthy boundaries and Repeat it to yourself daily. whose personality and therapeutic style is One last thing: imperfection. People synergistic with the client’s. It’s like high are more complicated than we imagine. school teachers—a few you like, some Beneath the shiny surfaces of a persona, you dislike, but there’s always at least one every person is a mix of darkness and light. teacher you really connect with. You might Understanding this truth allows us to have not always like your therapist because compassion for ourselves, and others. It competent therapists push us to change, does not excuse bad behavior; it inspires us and change is often painful. But if you find to make choices for the highest good. Ω the right therapist, you will appreciate how he or she supports you in becoming the person your soul knows you are.

Let’s talk about your parents. First, MedItAtIon of the Week on behalf of all adults, I’m sorry. We fail “There is no greater agony teenagers too often, and that’s heartbreakthan bearing an untold story ing. You have the right to be angry, hurt, inside you,” said Maya Angelou. disappointed. You also have the right to What secret do you need to grieve the loss of the father you thought tell, and to whom? you had. You must also grieve the loss of trust you believed existed between you Write, email or leave a message for and your father.

Joey at the News & Review. Give After grieving, open to the gift in your your name, telephone number crisis. Adolescence is a time of practicing (for verification purposes only) and question—all independence. Teens need the freedom correspondence will be kept strictly confidential. to pull away from parents and practice Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA making their own smart decisions. Ideally 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email this is a gradual process, but not always. askjoey@newsreview.com.

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I have two questions for you: (1) Have you ever been the victim of “laced” weed? (2) Is marijuana addictive?

—TJ First: I have never been the victim of “laced” weed. One time I did have a huge, heart-racing panic attack whilst driving to a gig in the boonies of Montana, so I went to the ER and they laughed at me. But reports of unsuspecting people smoking marijuana laced with PCP or cocaine are very rare. By the way, there’s a special spot in the depths of perdition for anyone that would slip someone a drug.

Drug use should be a consciously made decision.

Robbing someone of agency over their cognitive functions is vile. End rant.

Marijuana More prevalent than laced weed is the accidental ingestion of pot. This happens isn’t a gateway to just about every day. Someone will harder drugs, it’s a accidentally eat a poorly labeled cannabispathway toward infused food and end up either having a really good or a really bad day. Please, for safer drugs. the love of all that is green and uplifting, please make sure your cannabis foods are labeled appropriately and kept out of the reach of children and teenagers.

Second: No. I mean, look, anything can be addictive: weed, butter, yoga, religion, whatever. Anything. As vices go, marijuana is fairly easy to kick. In fact, weed has been shown to help people with serious opiate addictions. A study from Columbia University (www.ncbi.nlm. nih.gov/pubmed/26187456) shows that the addicts that used cannabis regularly stayed cleaner longer. Back in the ’90s, Cannabis Helps Alleviate Medical Problems, an OG mmj dispensary in S.F., had great success using hash oil as away to get people off of heroin, OxyContin and other dangerous narcotics. I’ve said it before, and it’s still true: Marijuana isn’t a gateway to harder drugs, it’s a pathway toward safer drugs. Thanks for stopping by.

Hey, maing. Any good books out there for the budding (my bad) cannabis activist?

—Owl C. Maselfout Funny you should ask. Steve DeAngelo, the legendary cannabis activist (he’s one of the founders of both Harborside Wellness and ArcView) just released a book on September 22 called The Cannabis Manifesto. This book is perfect if you want to learn some persuasive arguments toward cannabis legalization. It’s full of talking points and history and science and anecdotes and all that good stuff. I got the chance to talk to Mr. DeAngelo about the book, the new laws in California, dabs and all sorts of other things. I went to Oakland and we had a nice chat. You can see that interview here: http://tinyurl.com/ DeAngelointerview.

If you haven’t already read The Emperor Wears No Clothes by the late, great Jack Herer and The New Jim Crow from Michelle Alexander, go ahead and do that now. Weed Land, from Sacramento journalist Peter Hecht, is a good history of California so far. Don’t be afraid to take notes. Final exams start in December. Ω

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by rOb brezsNy

FOR THE WEEK OF OCTOBER 1, 2015 ARIES (March 21-April 19): The next seven

weeks will not be a favorable time to fool around with psychic vampires and charismatic jerks. I recommend you avoid the following mistakes, as well: failing to protect the wounded areas of your psyche, demanding perfection from those you care about and trying to fulfill questionable desires that have led you astray in the past.

Now I’ll name some positive actions you’d be wise to consider: hunting for skillful healers who can relieve your angst and aches, favoring the companionship of people who are empathetic and emotionally intelligent, and getting educated about how to build the kind of intimacy you can thrive on.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may have seen

websites that offer practical tips on how to improve your mastery of life’s little details. They tell you how to de-clutter your home, or how to keep baked goods from going stale or why you should shop for shoes at night to get the best fit. I recently came across a humorous site that provides the opposite: bad life tips. For instance, it suggests that you make job interviews less stressful by only applying for jobs you don’t want.

Put your laptop in cold water to prevent overheating. To save time, brush your teeth while you eat. In the two sets of examples I’ve just given, it’s easy to tell the difference between which tips are trustworthy and which aren’t. But in the coming days, you might find it more challenging to distinguish between the good advice and bad advice you’ll receive. Be very discerning.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): On a windy afternoon

last spring I was walking through a quiet neighborhood in Berkeley. In one yard there was a garden plot filled with the young green stems of as-yet unidentifiable plants. Anchored in their midst was a small handwritten sign. Its message seemed to be directed not at passers-by like me but at the sprouts themselves. “Grow faster, you little bastards!” the sign said—as if the blooming things might be bullied into ripening. I hope you’re smart enough not to make similar demands on yourself and those you care about, Gemini. It’s not even necessary. I suspect that everything in your life will just naturally grow with vigor in the coming weeks.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “I am rooted, but

I flow,” wrote Virginia Woolf in her novel The Waves. That paradoxical image reminds me of you right now. You are as grounded as a tree and as fluid as a river. Your foundation is deep and strong, even as you are resilient in your ability to adapt to changing circumstances. This is your birthright as a Cancerian! Enjoy and use the blessings it confers. (P.S. If for some strange reason you’re not experiencing an exquisite version of what I’ve described, there must be some obstacle you are mistakenly tolerating.

Get rid of it.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Should I offer my

congratulations? You have corralled a gorgeous mess of problems that are more interesting and provocative than everyone else’s. It’s unclear how long this odd good fortune will last, however.

So I suggest you act decisively to take maximum advantage of the opportunities that your dilemmas have cracked open. If anyone can turn the heartache of misplaced energy into practical wisdom, you can. If anyone can harness chaos to drum up new assets, it’s you. Is it possible to be both cunning and conscientious, both strategic and ethical? For you right now, I think it is.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Let’s say you have

walked along the same path or driven down the same road a thousand times. Then, one day, as you repeat your familiar route, a certain object or scene snags your attention for the first time.

Maybe it’s a small fountain or a statue of the Buddhist goddess Guanyin or a wall with graffiti that says “Crap happens, but so does magic.” It has always been there. You’ve been subconsciously aware of it. But at this moment, for unknown reasons, it finally arrives in your conscious mind.

I believe this is an apt metaphor for your life in the next week. More than once, you will suddenly tune in to facts, situations or influences that had previously been invisible to you. That’s a good thing! But it might initially bring a jolt.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The 20th century’s

most influential artist may have been Pablo Picasso. He created thousands of paintings, and was still churning them out when he was 91 years old. A journalist asked him which one was his favorite. “The next one,” he said. I suggest you adopt a similar attitude in the coming weeks, Libra. What you did in the past is irrelevant. You should neither depend on nor be weighed down by anything that has come before. For now, all that matters are the accomplishments and adventures that lie ahead of you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A windbreak is a

line of stout trees or thick bushes that provides shelter from the wind. I think you need a metaphorical version: someone or something to shield you from a relentless force that has been putting pressure on you; a buffer zone or protected haven where you can take refuge from a stressful barrage that has been hampering your ability to act with clarity and grace. Do you know what you will have to do to get it? Here’s your battle cry: “I need sanctuary! I deserve sanctuary!”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your fellow

Sagittarian Walt Disney accomplished a lot. He was a pioneer in the art of animation and made movies that won numerous Academy Awards.

He built theme parks, created an entertainment empire and amassed fantastic wealth. Why was he so successful? In part because he had high standards, worked hard and harbored an obsessive devotion to his quirky vision. If you aspire to cultivate any of those qualities, now is a favorable time to raise your mastery to the next level.

Disney had one other trait you might consider working on: He liked to play the game of life by his own rules. For example, his favorite breakfast was doughnuts dipped in Scotch whisky. What would be your equivalent?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): October is Fix

the Fundamentals Month. It will be a favorable time to substitute good habits for bad habits. You will attract lucky breaks and practical blessings as you work to transform overwrought compulsions into rigorous passions. You will thrive as you seek to discover the holy yearning that’s hidden at the root of devitalizing addictions. To get started, instigate freewheeling experiments that will propel you out of your sticky rut and in the direction of a percolating groove.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Have you made

your travel plans yet? Have you plotted your escape? I hope you will hightail it to a festive playground where some of your inhibitions will shrink, or else journey to a holy spot where your spiritual yearnings will ripen. What would be even better is if you made a pilgrimage to a place that satisfied both of those agendas—filled up your senses with novel enticements and fed your hunger for transcendent insights. Off you go, Aquarius! Why aren’t you already on your way? If you can’t manage a real getaway in the near future, please at least stage a jailbreak for your imagination.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Pablo Neruda’s

The Book of Questions consists entirely of 316 questions. It’s one of those rare texts that makes no assertions and draws no conclusions. In this spirit, and in honor of the sphinx-like phase you’re now passing through, I offer you six pertinent riddles: (1) What is the most important thing you have never done? (2) How could you play a joke on your fears? (3) Identify the people in your life who have made you real to yourself.

(4) Name a good old thing you would have to give up in order to get a great new thing. (5) What’s the one feeling you want to feel more than any other in the next three years? (6) What inspires you to love?

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

PHOTO BY SHOKA

Jumping the snark

When did you become such a hater?

Who would play you in a movie?

Day 1, brah.

Hackers-era Angelina Jolie.

What song is your anthem?

Snarkramento popped up on Twitter

When did you start being an ass on Twitter?

I started the account about a year ago as a joke for me and my girlfriend to make ourselves laugh.

maybe a year ago. Maybe longer.

Who can remember; such is time.

Anyway, @sac_snark, an anonymous mouthy Twitter account, is there just in case you need someone to remind you that DoCo, the name for the new arena “Downtown Commons” area, is straight dumb. Snark is there to poop on your selfie art project. And, admirably, Snark never pulls punches. Snark will call your stupid idea out by name, which will hurt your feelings, and so you’ll complain about how Snark hides in the shadows of anonymity. But consider: Every city needs some kind of masked vigilante, a voice of the people who will call you out on your shit, someone who can speak the truth in this modern-day, Hollywood-stars-on-Midtownsidewalks Sacramento. Gotta admire Snarkramento—which is why I emailed Snark last week to talk some trash!

You spend a lot of time on Twitter, so you’re either unemployed or a state worker, right?

Worst Sacramento trend?

Urban “art” projects that are meant to evoke our civic pride. Particularly the Portal bullshit, and how it was supposed to be some kind of community journey through time and space where we all come to an awakening of our collective Sacramento spirit.

Hypothetical question: You have to get to the other side of town. You can’t walk. You can’t bike. No RT. Only options are the Brew Bike or a ride in the car with Downtown James Brown. Which do you choose and why?

Downtown James Brown and I both ride the Brew Bike, both of us shirtless and singing the whole way, of course.

What is the most encouraging thing about Sacramento?

We are not going to run out of restaurants that specialize in craft beer and woodfired pizza anytime soon.

Fondest Sacramento memory.

When Measure L, strong mayor, failed.

Which Sacramentan would you least like to share a cup of coffee with?

Say something nice about K.J. He was a decent point guard.

Dead: Dorothea Puente because she was hella creepy.

Alive: Marcos Breton because his columns make him seem like a giant asshat and I’d punch him in the face if I had to sit with him.

Also, anyone who serves on a Metro Edge committee.

What’s your fav place to eat in Sacto and why?

I only eat at farm-to-fork inspired, vegan pop-up restaurants.

Actually, I am a high-powered corporate litigation attorney.

How do you perceive yourself?

What is the No. 1 issue Sacramento needs to deal with in the next year?

You get to rid Sacramento of either craft beer, bacon or pugs. What do you choose and why?

Real answer: homelessness. There is a serious privilege gap that is only growing worse with the increased development downtown.

Snarky answer: Getting people to stop using the phrase “farm-to-fork lifestyle.”

“Sacramento (What a Wonderful Town)”

by Middle of the Road.

I’m a dick.

Tell me a fun Sacramento joke.

Pugs. Those ugly dogs would never survive in the wild. And they smell. And breathe weird. I’ll get you a new pet, though, Nick.

If I got rid of all three, you wouldn’t have much to do anymore.

How many Sacramentans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three: One to market and make a hashtag for it, one to set up a themed week about it, one to source it at the farmers market. Ω

Follow Snarkramento on Twitter at @sac_snark.

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