S-2012-07-26

BAN THE

RIVER RAGES see Editorial, page 17

THEY’RE DEPORTING THE

TAMALE LADY?!? see Frontlines, page 10

NEW FOOD CRITIC VISITS CRAZY-DELICIOUS TOWN see Dish, page 31

INTRODUCING …

BEER!

TART

see Brew the Right Thing, page 32

3, 2, 1: GO TO

LAUNCH see Music, page 40 see Sound Advice, page 41

SACRAMENTO’S NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

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VOLUME 24, ISSUE 15

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THURSDAY, JULY 26, 2012

OF

DARKNESS

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Wheels of fortune On Saturday night, they stole my girlfriend’s bike.

I thought it was a prank at first.

I’d just read this week’s cover story, Raheem F. Hosseini’s exploration of how punks ruthlessly swipe bikes in this city. So when she called, then sighed, “My bike’s gone, will you come pick me up?” I was convinced: She must be messing with me.

But they really did snag her clunky red cruiser. The one with the torn and sun-damaged seat. And the nearly flat tires. She’d parked it outside of a Midtown cafe. Went in.

Came out. Gone.

City police told Hosseini that victims hardly ever call in stolen bicycles. Yet more than 1,000 do. Think about it: Does this mean that some tens of thousands of bikes actually go missing each year?

Welcome to Sacramento, the bike-theft capital of America.

I’m convinced of this fact more than ever in light of my girlfriend’s newfound victimhood. The city’s after-hours shadows are primed for five-finger discounts. And bikes are, apparently, a blue-plate special.

Hosseini—who, by the way, will join SN&R this week as its newest staff writer—tells in this week’s cover story of how two wheels have become a currency among thieves.

And that thefts have sparked a new subculture of vigilantism, because the cops are understaffed and, you know, busy solving murders.

I personally have a few tales of two-wheeled woe—the most crushing being when my trusty vintage Raleigh was snagged. It was the same afternoon some heister nabbed Lance Armstrong’s wheels in February 2009. Yes, even the world’s greatest cyclist had his ride jacked in the River City.

Anyway, that old Raleigh devoured the city’s pavement. It even once helped me evade an assault on J Street. It was a beast of steel, metal and rubber. And then it was gone.

—Nick Miller

nic kam@ ne ws r ev i ew . com

BEFORE

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July 26, 2012 | vol. 24, Issue 15

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05 07 10 15 17 18 26 28 31 35 36 38 40 55

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STREETALK LETTERS NEWS + BITES GREEN DAYS OPINION FEATuRE STORY ARTS&CuLTuRE NIGHT&DAY DISH ASK JOEY STAGE FILM MuSIC + Sound AdvIcE 15 MINuTES On the COver is PatriCk shelley (left) and Marley POlOnsky COver design by PrisCilla garCia COver PhOtO by wes davis

42 Our Mission To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Co-editors Rachel Leibrock, Nick Miller Senior Staff Writer Cosmo Garvin Copy Editor Shoka Shafiee Calendar Editor Jonathan Mendick Editorial Coordinator Kel Munger Editor-at-large Melinda Welsh Editorial Interns Kate Paloy, Sarah Vorn, Amy Wong Contributors Sasha Abramsky, Rob Brezsny, Josh Fernandez, Joey Garcia, Becky Grunewald, Mark Halverson, Raheem F. Hosseini, Jeff Hudson, Jonathan Kiefer, Jim Lane, Greg Lucas, Patti Roberts, Steph Rodriguez, Seth Sandronsky, Amy Yannello

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Design Manager Kate Murphy Art Director Priscilla Garcia Associate Art Director Hayley Doshay Editorial Designer India Curry Design Melissa Arendt, Brian Breneman, Brennan Collins, Mary Key, Marianne Mancina, Skyler Smith Art Directors-at-large Don Button, Andrea Diaz-Vaughn Director of Advertising and Sales Rick Brown Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Joy Webber Advertising Consultants Rosemary Babich, Josh Burke, Vince Garcia, Dusty Hamilton, April Houser, Cathy Kleckner, Dave Nettles, Kelsi White Senior Inside Sales Consultant Olla Ubay Ad Services Coordinator Melissa Bernard Operations Manager Will Niespodzinski Client Publications Managing Editor Kendall Fields Client Publications Writer/Copy Editor Michael Blount Sales Coordinators Shawn Barnum, Rachel Rosin Director of First Impressions Jeff Chinn Distribution Manager Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert

STORY

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Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Nicholas Babcock, Walt Best, Daniel Bowen, Nina Castro, Jack Clifford, Robert Cvach, Lob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Wayne Hopkins, Brenda Hundley, Wendell Powell, Lloyd Rongley, Duane Secco, Lolu Sholotan, Jack Thorne President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Chief Operations Officer Deborah Redmond Human Resources Manager Tanja Poley Credit and Collections Manager Renee Briscoe Business Shannon McKenna, Zahida Mehirdel Systems Manager Jonathan Schultz Systems Support Specialist Joe Kakacek Web Developer/Support Specialist John Bisignano

Editorial Policies Opinions expressed in SN&R are those of the authors and not of Chico Community Publishing, Inc. Contact the editor for permission to reprint articles, cartoons or other portions of the paper. SN&R is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts. All letters received become the property of the publisher. We reserve the right to print letters in condensed form and to edit them for libel.

Advertising Policies All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

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STREETALK

“I just didn’t want to pay for them.”

Asked at Westfield Downtown Plaza:

Confess, thief!

Joe Vesley

Christopher Collins

payroll accountant

I remember stealing a couple of times. When I was 6 years old, I remember stealing a candy bar from the grocery store. It was probably a Hershey’s chocolate bar. It was good, too!

Ryan Gonsalez

student

production specialist

I have stolen before.

I think everyone has stolen. I stole something, not from someone else, but from a store. It was probably something stupid, like a shirt or something. I stole some sandals before—just put them on and walked out.

I’m a vegetarian, and recently, because I’m such a health nut, I pocketed some protein bars. They are so expensive, especially the kind that are made for vegetarians that contain no animal products. So when I get hungry, I just pick some up.

Ronna Valli

Brandi Koepfer

Michael Valenti

administrative assistant

I was in junior high school, and I wanted to give one of my best friends a gift.

I didn’t have any money, so I went looking around, and I saw a bunch of perfume, and ended up stealing a bottle of perfume. ... I gave it to her as a gift, but later on, I told her I stole it. ...

I never stole again; I was scared to death!

sales associate

server

I’ve stolen from Walmart before. It was some headlamps for my car.

I mean, I had the money, I just didn’t want to pay for them. They’re really expensive. So yeah.

I think that’s the only thing I’ve ever taken.

I can’t remember particularly, but [I stole] little things, like earrings and stuff, when I was in middle school. I was young and stupid. I got in trouble for it and had to pay 10 times as much as the things I stole.

Lesson learned. Don’t steal: It’s more expensive than just buying it!

Find out the 2012

NOMINEES a t w w w. n e w s r e v i e w. c o m Voting begins online August 2!

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7/16/12 4:30 PM

LETTERS

Visit us at www.newsreview.com or email sactoletters @ newsreview.com

Letter of the Week

FIRST SHOT SN&R reader photo of the week PHOTO BY ANDREW CHRISTENSEN

Re “What a fraud” by Christopher Arns (SN&R Frontlines, July 19): Thank you for your story about blue disabled-placard fraud. I just finished paying off my $1,000 fine for using my mother’s placard. I thought I couldn’t afford the parking garage, but now I’ve paid for my street parking ($50 a month until it was paid off) and continue to pay for garage parking at $110 a month.

I guess I can afford it if I’m still eating and going to the movies.

LETTER OF This is a horrendous problem. Many more people are abusing THE WEEK than are getting busted for it, if the numbers reported are accurate.

I know of at least two people in my office alone who have disabled license plates because of spouses, but come to work without their disabled spouses. I won’t turn them in because of the bad karma, but people should be held accountable.

L.W. Sacramento

Be willing to change Re “‘Reusable’ bags are garbage” (SN&R Letters, July 19): I’d like to share some suggestions with the letter writer who sounds like she’s given up on reusable bags.

Grocery Outlet sells a great reusable bag—huge and paper grocery-bag shaped.

Also, the Trader Joe’s bags are excellent and stylish. My best investment yet is the ChicoBag, which has its own “stuff sack” attached, so it balls up to a tiny-sized item that I always keep in my purse now.

As for the double uses at home, for Kitty Litter scooping, try bread bags; produce bags; cereal-liner bags; tortilla bags, etc. Anything that comes in a plastic bag that doesn’t have vent holes will be fine for Kitty Litter scooping.

I’m sure there are dozens of solutions out there that were used before our modern throw-away convenience days. This is the crux of our environmental problem: Our own willingness to change. The ban idea has obviously arisen because of the serious threat to our environmental health, not just to inconvenience us in our daily lives.

M.S. Ahbra Sacramento

Poor observation skills?

Re “The reckoning of Carmichael Dave”

by Nick Miller (SN&R Feature Story, July 12): Carmichael Dave, when you were at the radio station, didn’t you notice that the hallways were filled with liars, thieves and snake-oil salesmen?

Patrick Powers Sacramento

The impoverished will sacrifice most Re “Shift happens” by Cosmo Garvin (SN&R Frontlines, July 12): I truly comprehend these concerns, but here is mine: Who will have to make the most crucial sacrifices? The poor, of course! Meanwhile, wealthy, “important BEFORE

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people” will continue to be flown around on private jets, enjoying their money and resources to the fullest.

T. Garcia Sacramento

Grim outlook Re “Shift happens” by Cosmo Garvin (SN&R Frontlines, July 12): Thank you for the fine article about Geerat Vermeij, et al, and their work on climate shift. He has nailed the problem: The unholy alliance of population growth and climbing per-capita consumption are the fundamental drivers of global climate change.

With world population growth at 200,000 a day, and profligate consumption, the future looks grim, indeed.

It’s vacation season under the Capitol’s rotunda dome. Take this view, substitute in blue sky and a sandy beach—Democracy in action, baby.

when determining management of America’s second biggest cat.

Throughout the West, black-tailed deer (also known as mule deer) numbers are plunging, which can result in the cats seeking other prey sources. This is particularly the case for juvenile cats looking to establish new territories. The oddness of the Nevada City attack suggests that this was a young cat who hadn’t figured out his job yet.

This close link to deer can also help explain the increase of cougar sightings back East—white-tailed deer there are booming.

If you come across a cougar while outdoors, pick up little kids, make yourself look big and shout like a banshee. In the meantime, let’s do what we can to improve habitat for black-tailed deer—for the sake of the deer, the cats and people.

Evan Jones Sacramento

Cabaldon’s baseball argument weak Re “Three strikes for Think Big” by Nick Miller (SN&R Frontlines, July 12): Mayor Christopher Cabaldon of West Sacramento deeply prides himself on his intelligence, and he should be commended on the positive steps he has taken for his city.

But the basic argument “no fair” is weak and about the worst strategy for any public-policy consideration. Life isn’t fair.

Step up and figure out a more compelling platform to dispute Mayor Kevin Johnson’s proposal.

Jon Schwedler Sacramento

rent a good protective cabin if you must stay overnight in a wooded area.

Michelle Kunert Sacramento

Correction In “Happy accidents” by Becky Grunewald (SN&R Arts&Culture, July 12), Joy Bertinuson should have been listed as the co-curator for Patrick Phipps’ exhibit What Does it Mean to Excel? at the Center for Contemporary Art, Sacramento. It has been updated online. SN&R regrets the omission.

POET’S CORNER Sojourn

Matt Gray Sacramento

Rent a cabin, God’s sake!

Mountain lions and deer for Re “Predator or prey?” by Alastair Bland Re “Predator or prey?” by Alastair Bland (SN&R Green Days, July 12): Thanks for [the] Green Days column on mountain lions. As someone who has contributed to cougar-management plans in other Western states, I’d encourage resource managers in California—and the public—to consider the growing scarcity of cougars’ primary prey, black-tailed deer, |

FEATURE

STORY

(SN&R Green Days, July 12): Though I am a “nature lover,” I decided years ago—after shocking blackbear attacks that could have turned mortal to my friends’ campsites in Lake Tahoe—to never sleep out [under] the open stars at night again in a tent. For God’s sake, spend the extra money to

The going and not the getting there is the sweetest thing,

Have a great photo?

Email it to firstshot@ newsreview.com.

Please include your full name and phone number. File size must not exceed 10 MB.

and knowing some branches were broken by the way you came made a pathway through the trees.

Journeying is not a finished thing but to rest and know the place is one kind of arriving.

—K.A. Kimmel

Roseville

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07.26.12 | SN&R | 9

FRONTLINES Art and ethics Some local artists are grumbling about a

program run by the Arts and Business Council of Sacramento—which rewards artists with valuable

professional services.

The awards aren’t the problem. It just turns out that sometimes the awardees are business

by COSMO GARVIN partners and family members of the people running the program.

For years, the Sacramento ABC has hooked up creative types with professional services. “They can get their contracts reviewed for free. They can get help with graphic design or marketing,” explained Michelle Alexander, executive director of the council.

It’s not a cash grant, but the awards are valuable, and they’ve historically been doled out on a first come, first served basis.

But now the group has decided to limit the awards to a smaller group of artists chosen by the ABC in a three-step, two-monthlong “intensive interview and application process.” The new program is called the Flywheel Arts Incubator.

Ten recipients were chosen this year, many of the names are

familiar: There’s Sol Collective, Chalk It Up! and New Helvetia Theatre, to name a few.

The guy who runs the Flywheel program is named Tre Borden. According to his bio, he went to Yale and Columbia universities and UC Davis, and launched Mayor Kevin Johnson’s Greenwise Initiative while he was a fellow in the mayor’s office.

He was just nominated as one of The honchos at the the Sacramento Business Journal’s “40 under 40.” He’s 28 years old.

Arts and Business Which is perhaps why Borden Council ought to doesn’t get why someone might question the fact that one of the grant review their conflict- recipients is Borden’s own business of-interest policies. partner, artist Danny Scheible— deserving though he might be.

Or why it might look weird to an outsider for Flywheel to make an award to a band that Borden’s brother, Linton Borden, is a member of.

“I don’t think anyone was given preferential treatment because of my relationship with them,” Borden told Bites, adding that he recused himself from voting on his partner and his brother’s applications—though he was involved in all other aspects of the selection process.

“Had I not been in charge of this process, I think this is the group we still would have ended up with,” Borden said. He adds that he felt Scheible’s involvement “would further legitimize the incubator.”

“I see it as more of an alignment of interest, rather than a conflict of interest,” Borden explained.

Borden and Alexander also work on Mayor Johnson’s For Arts’ Sake initiative.

But both Alexander and Borden were careful to say that Flywheel is not in any way connected to For Arts’ Sake. You might guess otherwise looking at FAS’s own website and Facebook page. But there you go.

Bites doesn’t know a lot about art, but when an artist gets money, or services that are worth money, that’s also in the interest of his business partner. That’s why this looks like a conflict of interest.

Alexander objects. They’ve been upfront about the relationships, and “I think it would have been even worse to tell groups they could not apply because of their relationships,” she explained.

Well, no. Conflict-of-interest policies are pretty common out there in the world.

For example, SN&R doesn’t allow family members of employees to enter into writing contests the paper holds—or any other contests.

And if the competition was as rigorous as Borden and Alexander say, then there are plenty of deserving, nonfamily members, nonbusiness partners, who could use the help. Why, then, would the Arts and Business Council want to risk even the appearance of anything unethical? Ω

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Deporting the tamale lady Will the United States send Juana Reyes back to Mexico—for selling $1 snacks outside a south Sacramento Walmart?

Juana Reyes says she typically prepares three different types of tamales, but that the pollo ones are her favorite. She likes the flavor when the story and photos chilies mix with the chicken, she explains, by before handing over a bag of five freshly Nick Miller made snacks.

For more than two years, Reyes prepared nickam@ newsreview.com and sold her tamales outside of a Walmart on Florin Road in south Sacramento. This was how she covered her $750-a-month rent— she made them twice a week, a process that takes a little more than two hours, then vended them for $1 each from her car in the Walmart parking lot. On a good day, she’d maybe earn 20 bucks.

“I am fighting and selling tamales to get my family ahead,” Reyes explained to SN&R. But on a Thursday morning last month, June 28, a sheriff’s deputy pulled up to Reyes’ car and told her she could no longer sell her eats outside of the mega-chain.

Reyes was confused. She’d sold tamales there for so long, that even Walmart employees, according to her attorney, would come outside to buy them. But Reyes didn’t want any trouble, so she and her 7-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son drove off to another south Sacramento shopping mall.

There were few customers elsewhere, though, so Reyes and her kids returned after an hour to the Walmart. She’d seen a handful of other “tamale ladies” selling eats in the lot at this time. Was it OK to return? It must have been, she decided. So she got back to dishing out tamales and making ends meet.

“And then, a deputy grabs her hands and starts to cuff them,” explained attorney Hugo Vera.

But before the deputy could click the handcuffs, he saw Reyes’ two children in the car. This caused him to pause, before finally placing Reyes and her kids in his patrol cruiser. For a half an hour.

The deputy ended up citing Reyes for trespassing, a minor misdemeanor in Sacramento County. According to Vera, most of the time this results in a proverbial slap on the wrist.

Hardly ever a trip to the downtown main jail.

Or a deportation.

“Normally, they’d just say ‘Go away,’” Vera explained of what a deputy might typically do in a similar situation, such as, say, a skateboarder loitering on the premises.

But “go away” wasn’t Reyes’ fate. She’d lost her identification two weeks earlier, she told the deputy, who placed her under arrest. Meanwhile, Child Protective

Future of health care See FRONTLINES

12

Romney’s silver spoon See GREENLIGHT

14

About Sacto’s peaches

See GREEN DAYS

15

Ban the river party See EDITORIAL

17

Mitt boxed in

See TOM TOMORROW

17

BEATS

Driving away business?

The Sacramento City Council this week agreed to move ahead with a fall ballot measure raising sales taxes a halfcent to generate about $30 million annually—it hopes enough to close the city’s persistent budget gap and begin to restore city services.

The council was expected on Tuesday—after press time—to formalize its decision from a week ago. Despite polls so far showing support for a bump, some business groups and their council allies are skeptical, saying the tax hike will drive business to neighboring locales where the tax is lower.

“There’s absolutely no doubt that it will reduce the amount of money people spend in the city,” said Councilwoman Angelique Ashby. “Let’s don’t be naive; there is going to be a business impact.”

But just how much of a business impact? “The answer is there is no measurable difference,” says City Manager John Shirey, citing information he got from consultants the city hired.

The thinking is that shoppers are more sensitive to what’s on the price tag than to the sales tax. That’s assuming they even know what the sales tax is. Shirey noted that the additional half-cent tax means an extra $1 in taxes on a $200 shopping bill at Walmart or Costco. “It’s not enough to make a difference in how people shop,” says Shirey. And not enough to make a family drive to the next town to spend their dough. At least, that’s what the consultants say.

(Cosmo Garvin)

Supporters gather around Juana Reyes (front row, second from right) last week. The former tamale vendor faces deportation to Mexico for selling eats in a south Sacramento Walmart parking lot.

Services arrived at the Walmart to take custody of her children—this despite the fact that a handful of Reyes’ family and neighbors had converged on the scene, pleading to take the kids.

But it was no-go. The kids were off to CPS. And, as one deputy allegedly told Reyes’ son: “They’re going to send your mom to Mexico. And you’ll never see her again.”

Attorney Julia Vera wipes tears from Reyes’ cheeks. TV cameras and media holding microphones gather around the tamale lady and her two children, who are flanked by a couple dozen supporters carrying signs that read “Full rights for all immigrants” and “TRUST Act now.” The crowd gathers on a scorching Wednesday in the same Walmart parking lot where Reyes was arrested weeks earlier. The sky is cloudless, the sun rests at high noon.

It’s been an eventful month for Reyes.

After her kids were sent to CPS and she was taken downtown, deputies at the main jail grew suspicious that she was in the country illegally.

One of Reyes’ attorneys, Hugo Vera, told SN&R that this moment at the jail is how immigration policies such as the one enforced by the state of Arizona come into play in California.

“It’s blatant racial profiling,” he called it.

But it’s also legal: When current Gov. Jerry Brown was the state’s attorney general, he implemented a policy that’s now referred to as Secure Communities, or SComm. Basically, this allows for local governments to be the “eyes and ears,” as

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Vera puts it, of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Reyes’ attorneys estimate that nearly 75,000 Californians have been deported under S-Comm, 70 percent of whom have had either no conviction or committed minor offenses.

“They’re going to send your mom to Mexico.

And you’ll never see her again.” statement allegedly made by a Sacramento County deputy to Juana Reyes’ 10-year-old son

In the tamale lady’s case, deputies suspected that Reyes was in the country illegally. Which was true: Her principal attorney Julia Vera, who’s taking on Reyes’ ICE case pro bono, told SN&R that her client has been in the country for more than 16 years, including for the birth of her two children, who attend Sacramento schools and speak English.

Reyes doesn’t have any prior entanglements with the law. But now, immigration is targeting her for deportation. For her sole transgression: Selling tamales outside of Walmart.

Hugo Vera argues that there was “implied consent” for Reyes to be at Walmart. For starters, it’s a public domain, a place where shoppers are invited to go with advertising and signage. And she’d been |

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there for years, a familiar face to employees and security guards. He says he has testimonials from Walmart employees that vouch for Reyes.

Meanwhile, the attorney also questions the sheriff deputy’s motive—especially when it comes to the alleged deportation remark made to Reyes’ son.

“How does [the deputy] even know where she’s from?” Vera asked.

Sacramento County Deputy Jason Ramos would not comment on the arresting deputy’s alleged remark. But he did explain that deputies had received three complaints from Walmart security on June 28. And they decided that her trespassing was “likely to continue,” which is why they took Reyes into custody.

“Suffice to say that arresting and booking people on misdemeanor charges is not common,” Ramos added.

That day was the first time Walmart’s security company, U.S. Securities, had contacted deputies about Reyes, but a report shows that security had asked Reyes to leave the parking lot numerous times over the previous months. “I don’t know what the straw that broke the camel’s back was,” Ramos said. “Maybe there were a lot of food vendors in the parking lot that day.”

Either way, Ramos insisted that deputies typically do not address street-side food vendors or ones on private property unless asked. “And let’s face it, if you’re familiar with that Walmart and that stretch of Florin Road, there’s no shortage of food vendors.”

Unexpected layoffs hit Bee newsroom A small but surprising round of layoffs hit The Sacramento Bee again last week. Sources say nine jobs were cut, including two newsroom positions—a photo technician and a librarian.

The Bee’s community-affairs director, Pam Dinsmore, couldn’t confirm a total number of layoffs, but said, “Most of these changes are due to restructuring within divisions, aligning them with changing business trends. Some are due to system and equipment upgrades that have led to additional efficiencies with various departments.”

Technology, so helpful.

Sources told Beats that the layoffs were a surprise.

And Ed Fletcher, a Bee Disappointing news. reporter and rep for the Newspaper Guild local, said the layoffs are anything but minor for the people affected.

“While few in numbers, this is still very disappointing.

Most of us had hoped the dark days were behind us,” he said.

Beats is also told that the librarian was one of the folks tasked with policing the Bee’s online comments to make sure things don’t get, you know, awful, on the comment boards.

Dinsmore downplayed the notion that the Bee comment boards might get worse with the layoffs. “With millions of page views each month, we largely rely on readers to self-monitor comments. They should not notice a difference.” (C.G.)

“TAMALE LADY” continued on page 13

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Future of health care Obama’s reform spurs new groups in Sacramento looking to cut costs and improve quality Across the country, doctors, hospitals and insurers are forming new health-care entities to increase the efficiency and quality of care, and to lower the by Lynn Graebner cost of it. Called accountable-care organizations, these groups are gaining ground, even though critics consider them a repackaging of HMOs— some of which have given managed care a bad name.

An ACO is a group of health-care providers such as doctors, hospitals and others, including insurance companies, who agree to work together to provide overall care to their patients.

Those providers are accountable for the quality and cost of that care.

If they reduce costs while improving patient care, they share in the savings. If they don’t deliver, they may risk losing money.

While the idea has many proponents, critics are concerned about the creation of large healthcare groups that could have too much influence over physician decisions. That could backfire and ultimately result in increased health-care costs.

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Cardiovascular surgeons and oncologists have been the heroes, the profit centers of hospitals. But under an accountable-care-organization model, those doctors will likely become the focus for cost savings.

This story is courtesy of HealthyCal.org, a nonprofit journalism group based in Sacramento, where Lynn Graebner is a writer. A longer version appears online at the organization’s website and at www.newsreview.com.

This story also appeared in California Watch.

Read more at www.california watch.org.

“Hospitals controlling and running ACOs— that makes our members very nervous,” said Francisco J. Silva, vice president and general counsel for the California Medical Association based in Sacramento. “It’s absolutely important that ACOs are physician-led. … The ACO model can be a very good thing, but it needs to be done carefully as a collaborative effort.”

Francisco said the industry has learned from the HMO experience, including “a lot of stories of folks being denied care.”

But there is increasing support for changing the way health care is delivered and making all parties in the system accountable for the cost.

“Right now, I’d say there is a growing consensus that accountable care is the future of health care,” said David Muhlestein, an analyst with Leavitt Partners, a Salt Lake City-based health-care analyst firm.

But a clear definition of an ACO has yet to be determined, he added.

ACOs are emerging both through Medicare and in the private sector. President Barack Obama’s Affordable Care Act required the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services to develop an ACO program, which, as of early July, has 154 ACOs serving 2.4 million Medicare patients, including some here in Sacramento, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. These ACOs must meet patient-care standards based on 33 quality measures.

Blue Shield of California has six active ACOs in California. Two of those launched July 2011 and are contracted with the Health Service System City and County of San Francisco. They serve 25,000 beneficiaries and are intended to provide competition in the marketplace, said Lisa Ghotbi, chief operating officer for the Health Service System. Blue Shield originally estimated annual savings of $10 million to $15 million for the city and county.

A big part of cuttings costs is to provide an appropriate level of care when people need it.

Another area many ACOs are scrutinizing is specialty care. Blue Shield reported some early results from its Sacramento-based ACO for California Public Employees’ Retirement System members. They found an overutilization of hysterectomies and elective knee surgeries. The physicians’ group and hospital are now investigating therapy and treatments that should be tried before resorting to surgery, Blue Shield reported.

“There’s evidence that there are a lot of procedures out there that don’t improve health,” said Kelly Devers, a senior fellow in the Health Policy Center at the Urban Institute, a Washington D.C.based nonpartisan economic and social-policy research organization. “We’re clearly spending more money than anyone else in the world, but we don’t see the results.”

Traditionally, specialists such as cardiovascular surgeons and oncologists have been the heroes, the profit centers of hospitals. But under an ACO model, those doctors will likely become the focus for cost savings, she said.

And many clinicians are tired of the productivity treadmill, being compensated for the numbers of patients they see and procedures they do rather than for the quality of the care they are providing, Devers said.

But in order for health-care providers to take on the responsibility for the overall health of a large group of patients, more coordination among physicians is necessary, requiring even more integration among primary-care providers, surgical centers, cancer centers, nursing homes and others, said Devers and Muhlestein.

The upside is better physician communication, reduced waste and more preventative medicine. A potential downside is that with consolidation of doctors, hospitals and specialty clinics, ACOs could become so powerful they may start setting health-care prices in the future, leading to an overall increase in costs, Muhlestein said.

This health-care-reform model also carries a huge potential downside for some providers who will bear more financial risk, possibly resulting in the closure of some physician groups and hospitals, Muhlestein said.

Despite all that, there is a strong feeling of hopefulness in the industry.

“There is an enormous amount of potential for taking the waste out of the system and for improving patient care and helping us control costs,” Ghotbi said. Ω

FRONTLINES “TAMALE LADY” continued from page 11

After the June 28 incident, Reyes spent 13 days in downtown’s main jail on an immigration hold before being released on July 10. Her ICE court date will be scheduled in the next 30 days, but Sacramento must cover all the costs for her stay at county, approximately $100 a day.

It’s an unusual case. And, as one supporter at the rally last Wednesday noted, it’s “the kind of incident people would expect in Phoenix.”

“It’s blatant racial profiling.”

Hugo Vera attorney And outrage, it seems, is the only hope for Reyes to stay in Sacramento and not be deported.

Immigration court cases can take anywhere from three to five years, says attorney Julia Vera, who adds that she has very few options in defending her client.

Reyes’ best chance hinges on the concept of “prosecutorial discretion.” Each year, ICE throws out some 4,000 cases based on certain criteria, including but not limited to whether the defendant has a clean arrest record, has been in the country for more than a decade, and also has strong family and community ties.

Reyes meets all these conditions.

But ICE hears millions of cases.

“Our chances of getting prosecutorial discretion are slim to none,” Julia Vera told SN&R. Other options, such as “cancellation” or “affirmative relief,” are even less probable.

Advocates and attorneys point out that, if Reyes had been arrested another time, say later this year, she’d probably be free to go under California’s TRUST Act, which recently was approved by the state Senate and likely will be inked by Gov. Brown.

Written by Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, the TRUST Act is a counter to Arizona’s anti-immigration law that specifically limits local governments’ ability to hold individuals for deportation if they are not a threat to public safety.

Tamales can be hot sometimes, yes, but generally are not considered a menace to society.

But it’s too soon for TRUST. And so Reyes’ best hope is in the court of public opinion.

And that the general public is increasingly outraged upon hearing her story. Law-abiding but illegalimmigrant tamale lady arrested, has kids taken away for selling tamales outside of a Sacramento Walmart— it’s a compelling narrative, and especially here in California, a state that prides itself on being a step or two more progressive than the rest of the nation.

Reyes’ backers at the rally last week, including current city council candidate Rob Kerth, argued that her case is an extreme interpretation of immigration law that has no place in the Golden State.

Or, as Jon Rodney with the California Immigration Policy Center announced to media and supporters last week: “I think we need to remember that we have a broken immigration system in this country.”Ω

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I am the co-owner of this newspaper and two others.

I am a small-business owner and a “job creator.” And with help from an amazing group of colleagues, I’ve been able to take a $15,000 loan from my mom and, over the last 32 years, turn it into a $6 million business.

This week, Mitt Romney attacked President Barack Obama for saying that “If you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own.”

Romney calls this “not just foolishness,” but insulting “to say Steve Jobs didn’t build Apple, that Henry Ford didn’t build Ford Motor [Co.] … that Bill Gates didn’t build Microsoft.”

Well, I’m not an expert on Apple, Ford or Microsoft, but I do know the News & Review. I can tell you that Jeff vonKaenel did not build the News & Review by himself. He had some help.

I’ve been blessed with wonderful colleagues whose dedication, love and incredible hard work have made our company successful. My guess is that Apple, Ford and I can tell you that Microsoft also had employees who were pretty critical along Jeff vonKaenel did the way.

Public education also not build the News & played an important role in my life.

Special thanks to Mrs. Review by himself.

Francis, my first-grade teacher, and Bill Zirzow, my highschool swimming coach. These were two government employees that made a huge difference to me. While Romney may have gone to private colleges, I attended the government-supported UC Santa Barbara. And I’ve To watch Mitt been lucky to hire employees who can read and write Romney’s attack ad because they attended government-financed schools. and to see the text I also appreciate our roads, airports and bridges. I’m of President Barack Obama’s actual quote, thankful that the water is tested for safety, that we have go to http://tinyurl. police and fire departments, that worker safety is monicom/MisleadingAd. tored, that we have a judicial system, and a Mosquito & Vector Control District. Without this government infrastructure, my business would struggle.

But my appreciation goes deeper. My dad was a doctor in a small town in Ohio, and later on in San Jose.

Because of this, I grew up with many advantages.

My dad was accepted to college at Stanford University, but was not able to attend there because his family did not have the money. He worked as a laborer Jeff vonKaenel in a steel mill to help support his family after his father is the president, CEO and majority owner died. After World War II, he went to school on the of the News & Review government-funded GI Bill. This enabled him to pursue newspapers in his dream of becoming a doctor.

Sacramento, As a doctor’s son, I understand that life was easier Chico and Reno. for me. So I feel an obligation to give back. I find it appalling that after being given so much, Romney used offshore and Swiss bank accounts to avoid paying his fair share of taxes. He is ungrateful to the country. Of course, he thinks he earned his success all on his own. And that is not only ridiculous, it’s also sad. Ω

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Eat a peach Big isn’t better, but the season is now for fuzzy fruits and more Past fields of bursting sunflowers and down a county road is Impossible Acres in West Davis, just 4 scant miles from its downtown. My family and story friends arrived there because I’d heard we and photo by could pick peaches. And a good peach is what Kat Kerlin I’ve been craving ever since the calendar flipped to July.

I have one of those golden childhood memories of picking peaches with my mom at a pick-your-own farm in Missouri, where the yellow fruits were the size of my fist, and their fuzzy skins nearly burst. I don’t remember

what Mom made with the fruit, but I do remember eating them at that farm, standing in the shade of peach-tree branches, juice dripping down my chin and neck, so good I licked the palms of my hands to get every bit of stickiness into my mouth.

But California isn’t Missouri. And I’m still learning what grows here. So when I heard the peach season in Yolo County is late June through early August, I thought the first week of July might satisfy my craving.

Others must have thought the same: Impossible Acres is a popular little farm. When we arrived, about 15 couples and families also were there, slathering kids up with sunscreen in the parking lot and affixing sun hats.

The young woman at the entrance gave us the lay of the land, including a photocopy of a hand-drawn map. She pointed out where the berries were—marionberries, raspberries, boysenberries, olallieberries—and also mentioned that berries had a rough year due to fickle weather. The peaches are past the cherry trees and rows of apricots and plums. We got a couple of flat boxes to fill, and we were off.

The apricot trees were loaded with fruits begging to be picked, and we did grab a few.

But we moved quickly onward. (Note to

The bounty at Impossible Acres.

Visit Impossible Acres, 26565 Road 97D in Davis. Wednesday through Sunday, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. During the summer, the farm offer apricots and peaches ($1.99 per pound), and berries ($2.99 per pound). Cherries in late May through early June. August brings apples. Pumpkin patch in October.

Kat Kerlin blogs at http://farmophile. wordpress.com.

An Inconvenient Ruth will be back next week.

parents and those who care for their feet: Don’t wear sandals like I did, because some weeds along the path are prickly.)

We got to the peaches, which were nice: medium-sized, sweet, with several ripe and ready. The nearby nectarines were just as good, too, though there were fewer of them.

We filled our boxes, satisfied that we had enough to make the tasty peach shortcake and peach-glazed pork chops I’d been fantasizing about, as well as plenty left to pop into our mouths.

But at first, I admit to being disappointed.

Were the peaches of my dreams not suited to the Sacramento Valley?

After talking with Fred Manas, owner of nearby peach orchard Manas Ranch in Yolo County, it turns out I was just impatient.

“We have friends from Georgia that moved here, and they say [there’s] nothing like my peaches here,” Manas said.

The peach season, he said, runs from about mid-June through mid-October, although it varies for each variety. And there is a tendency for bigger varieties to peak later in the summer, around August.

Manas wondered, however, why people fuss about big peaches.

“Big does not make it better,” he argued with the kindly insistence of a man who has spent more years than I’ve been alive growing and eating peaches.

“We have friends from Georgia that moved here, and they say [there’s] nothing like my peaches here.”

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Fred Manas Manas Ranch Manas Ranch grows seven different varieties, varying from the smallish Cassie peach to the more robust O’Henry. So, if I want to stubbornly hold onto my vision of a giant peach, I need to wait a little longer.

As for that childhood memory of the peach farm with Mom: She told me later that we picked those peaches right before school started, which would have made it late August.

Back at Impossible Acres, somewhere between picking a plum and sucking the juice off my fingers, I was reminded that sometimes what you get isn’t quite what you set out for, but it can still be pretty sweet. Ω

2377 Gold Meadow Way, Ste 220 Gold River, CA 95670 www.attorneysofsacramento.com

916.241.3336

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ESSAY

Chris Pureka

Gaga over God

New York based independent singer/songwriter August 5th at 6pm

Wherein a local writer finds religion, then loses it again

Tickets: $15 Donations help support our Queer Yoga & All Bodies Yoga Programs

501(c)(3)

1400 E St. Sacramento, CA 95814

Details at:

Art with a Twist LECTURE: LEWIS DESOTO THURSDAY • JULY 26 • 6:30 PM Artist and San Francisco State University Professor Lewis deSoto is known for his photographs, installations, sculptures, and public artworks that engage cosmological questions and notions of self. His work is on view in the exhibition Brought to Light: Masterworks of Photography from the Crocker Art Museum. Hear deSoto talk about his artistic process, career, and current projects. Space is limited.

CORALINE THURSDAY • AUGUST 2 7:30 PM – ACTIVITIES BEGIN 8:30 PM – COURTYARD SCREENING Hear Susan Silvestor from the Art Institute of California— Sacramento talk about how claymation really works, and carve a world of your own in an all-ages sculpt-along (supplies provided). Seating will be provided though you are welcome to bring a lawn chair or blanket for this outdoor screening.

To find out more and purchase advance tickets visit crockerartmuseum.org or call (916) 808-1182.

/crockerart 16

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THINK FREE.

www.theyogaseed.org

With religion always topical, here’s what I know about God: nothing.

Just like 7 billion others. by Sure, myriad folks will claim Mark Drolette a freelance writer they know about God. Some are living in Sacramento famous—rich, too! (Probably a coincidence.) They swear they know God exists. But they don’t.

How do I know?

Because I knew once. And I knew I knew, too.

Years ago, I went from doubter to believer on, well, a golf course.

I was slogging through my second divorce (though had I known a third was to come, today’s story would be about the benefits of living single. On Mars. Without oxygen).

I thought golfing might alleviate my misery. Only, I played horribly. This didn’t help my mindset any, nor that of the foursome behind me as I hacked away to an ugly 10.

Here’s the gospel according to Mark: No one knows more about God than anyone else.

Then, zap! God entered my life.

He didn’t physically appear.

(You’re probably ahead of me there.) Rather, unprecedented peace instantly enveloped me; a remarkable, ironclad sense that, forevermore, I’d be OK. I even “heard” a voice telling me I need never fear again. I birdied the next hole; if this wasn’t proof of God’s existence, nothing was. (If you’d seen me golf, you’d have believed, too.) I told anyone who’d listen of my awakening.

I’ve since realized, however, my experience was hardly proof God exists. What begat my backsliding?

Let’s just say reservations about a loving God, merciful to the righteous, were driven home—literally —one hideous evening.

In 1997, a drunk driver killed my daughter-in-law. On her wedding night. In four hours, my then-stepson went from optimistic groom to comatose widower. Suddenly, bromides about God’s will fell flat, for if He’d directed that lunatic to rocket the wrong way up Interstate 80, He had revelations to make, and He wasn’t

talking. (Seems the privilege of having God’s ear is reserved solely for certain anointed types anyway, who pass the word to others—once others pass a wad to them.)

Then, in 2005, I knew I’d contracted HIV. Terrified, I manifested numerous bizarre ailments while I waited the requisite weeks before testing. Finally, the results: negative.

Symptoms: gone! Relieved, I’d learned about the incredible power of the human psyche (not to mention the unswerving use of condoms), of absolute “truths” the mind could concoct, regardless whether they were, well, true. These two events helped alter my view of my golfcourse “conversion,” leaving me skeptical of those gaga over God. “Tough loss,” I might hear, “but others suffer, too. And, yes, the brain is mega powerful. That doesn’t mean God doesn’t exist.”

True. And I’ve zero beef with believers—if they keep it inside. But the often-tragic fallout of devotees demonstrably “serving” their oneand-only exists everywhere.

Remember the (not so) grand Sudan teddy-bear affair in 2007, when a British teacher, after allowing her pupils to dub a stuffed toy Mohammed, was convicted of insulting Islam? She was pardoned, ultimately, but not before thousands of incensed Muslims demanded her execution. Thank Allah they were devout. Imagine the ugliness had they been, say, moon-worshipping pagans.

Of course, all religionists spread their own unholy misery. (Except maybe the Quakers, who get bonus points for producing tasty and nutritious cereals, yum!) Christians have given us crusades and inquisitions; Zionists, roadblocks to resolving the Israeli-Palestinian mess.

American Idol idolizers? Simon Cowell. (Saved the worst for last.)

Enough! Whatever one’s (non)persuasion, here’s the gospel according to Mark: No one knows more about God than anyone else.

I’m clueless whether there’s a Highand-Almighty, and, honest to goddess, I don’t care.

I only wanna be left alone by those who do. Ω

OPINION

EDITORIAL

THIS MODERN WORLD

BY TOM TOMORROW

Ban the party (for now)

With the 2012 California State Fair underway, let’s is this the only instance of animal exploitation at remember the pregnant cow who escaped the the state fair. Other attractions include horse livestock nursery in 2010 and was shot and racing and bull riding, not to mention the corn killed. Despite this tragedy and the ensuing dogs, chocolate-covered bacon and other meat public outcry, the live-birthing exhibit continues, and dairy products served. one of only a handful across the country. Most There are more humane alternatives for parother state fairs have recents in search of a fun, ognized that animals, like educational way for their There are more humans, prefer to give children to interact with birth in privacy, and the animals than visiting the humane alternatives crowds, close quarters state fair’s birthing by for parents in search of and unfamiliar surroundexhibit. Several nearby Mary Ellen ings compound an animal sanctuaries wela fun, educational way Williams already stressful event. come visitors for guided a Ph.D. candidate in for their children to Transporting pregnant tours and the opportunity English at UC Davis animals is also roundly interact with animals to meet and play with animals rescued from Before visiting or criticized as uncomfortthan visiting the donating to an animal able and traumatic. hideous situations like sanctuary, check to California State Fair’s The livestock nursery factory farms and sciensee that it is at the fair is run by stutific-testing labs. These birthing exhibit. accredited by the dents and faculty from animals—the lucky Global Federation of the UC Davis School of few—are now free to Animal Sanctuaries at heal from their trauma and live out their days www.sanctuary Veterinary Medicine, and I believe them to be federation.org. well-intentioned and to genuinely care about the peacefully and in the company of animal animals. But I don’t believe they are serving the friends.

Sanctuaries see educating the public as part Have a comment? animals’ best interests.

Express your views Their expertise is in veterinary medicine, not of their mission, which makes them great places in 350 words on ethics. Neither they nor the fair’s board of directo visit with your children. Certainly part of a local topic tors are necessarily qualified to make ethical learning about animals should be learning to of interest. decisions weighing the educational value of the treat other species as we would like to be Send an e-mail to exhibit against the animals’ discomfort and diseditorial@ treated, and to respect the dignity and individunewsreview.com. tress, and the potential for another escape. Nor ality of all living creatures. Ω

When the good times move outdoors, it’s wilder and more dangerous. That’s been the experience of local law enforcement in responding to Rafting Gone Wild-type parties on the American River in recent years. The events, organized—extremely loosely—on Facebook, sent an estimated 3,000 swimsuit-clad 20-somethings downstream from Rancho Cordova to Sac’s River Bend Park on July 14.

As most now know, there were fights on that recent Saturday—it was described as an “oar-wielding brawl” on MSNBC—which resulted in 23 arrests, along with injuries and a boatload of bad publicity. Rocks were hurled—and rafters even attacked the cops.

Yeah, bad apples. But those bad apples guarantee that the good rafters—the ones who do river cleanup and whose misbehavior is likely limited to not using enough sunscreen and drinking cheap beer—are overlooked.

Here’s the problem: Sacramento has already responded to bad behavior on the river by banning alcohol on major holidays. But this ban has just made things worse; it has lead to unprecedented mega parties organized on social media.

Now, instead of small, individual groups that may occasionally get out of control, we have barely planned extravaganzas for which no one takes responsibility.

And so long as no one is taking responsibility, it’s time for a moratorium on these river rages and raftinggone-wild blowouts.

A careful examination of the Facebook page for Rafting Gone It is not a question of if Wild revealed no individual or group accountable for the floating someone will be hurt party. No permits, no security, no or killed, but when. organizers, no nothing.

Same goes for a planned Rage on the River event on August 26, near Discovery Park; there’s a website (www.rageon theriver.net), but no host, planner or responsible persons.

Typically, when you put on an event of this magnitude in Sacramento, there’s red tape: event and alcohol permits, police, toilets, security, liability insurance, cleanup crews, city or county fees, etc. Just ask anyone who’s put on such an event: It’s a hassle.

That’s because when there’s no regulation—no one in charge—things tend to get out of hand. Events involve a host of issues, and, it’s not nearly as exciting as simply making a Facebook page and having 3,000 of your closest buddies show up with the booze.

These large-scale parties also end up dominating the river. They attract the handful of jackasses who can ruin anyone, or everyone’s, day. Nature lovers. Families.

To learn how to Even law enforcement: jurisdictions up and down the canoe or kayak safely, river are forced to get involved, costing taxpayer try the Sacramento dollars.

State Aquatics Center We’ve been struggling with how to handle these at www.sacstate aquaticcenter.com. river parties, because we hate to ruin anyone’s good time. But the American River is not a backyard pool. If these parties continue, it is not a question of if someone will be hurt or killed, but when.

We also don’t want to ban alcohol on the river. Dad and Mom should be able to have a beer or two while fishing. But if banning the party is what it takes to get things under control, so be it.

As for the individual right to party? It exists only on private property. That’s not the American River. Ω

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ocal biking legend L John Cardiel is in mourning.

L

A onetime professional skateboarder who converted to fixed-gear cycling following a 2003 spinal-cord injury, Cardiel had his beloved Bianchi Pista Concept snatched from the front porch of his Sacramento home five weeks ago. The pro-level track racer, with its white aluminum frame, gold front wheel and green phil-wood MASH back-wheel hub, was a one-of-a-kind companion, joining Cardiel on rides throughout the world and keeping him spinning for the past three years.

“That bike has so much more sentimental value than anything I’ve ever owned,” the 38-year-old lamented. “It’s a sore subject, man.”

It’s a subject in which a growing number of flummoxed Midtown riders are gaining expertise. Bicycle thefts in the city of Sacramento have reached laughable proportions, thanks both to the rise of our oh-so-trendy cycling culture and because bikes have become a largely untraceable currency among asshole crooks and the needy.

This is the city where Lance Armstrong had his record-breaking wheels poached in 2009, after all. It’s also where a homegrown Facebook page has turned every filched Huffy or missing Denali into its own veritable Amber Alert. Where fixie kids and comely beach cruisers commiserate over losses with spandexclad pack riders at bike kitchens around town. And where being homeless doesn’t spare you the indignity of some jerk cycling away on your rusted 10-speed.

Aficionados claim the problem is more sinister than New York’s and less guarded against than in San Francisco. The numbers say Sacramento reports more stolen bicycles than the cities of Davis and Folsom— combined.

Does all that make Sacramento the bike-theft capital of America?

“I feel like that, dude. Honestly, I feel like that,” testified Cardiel, an authority if ever there was one.

After getting trampled by a trailer during an accident in Australia nine years ago, Cardiel spent the ensuing year rehabbing his mangled spine and learning to walk again, in part by hauling ass on a street-level fixed-gear. He now runs Break Free Customs, an online bike company that specializes in making “BMX-style street rippers and track bikes.” He’s one of the culture’s most loyal converts, and so the losses hit home.

“Sacramento is just brutal. I mean, it’s ruthless,” Cardiel groaned. “Anything that’s not tied down is just gone.”

Them’s some cold hard truths, my pedal-grinding brothers and sisters.

Here’s some more: More than 1,150 bicycles were reported stolen to the Sacramento Police Department in 2011. The first half of this year has already seen nearly 700 such reports, which puts us on track for an 18-

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percent jump by the close of 2012. By comparison, police in Davis—a city with a more established bicycle culture—took 390 stolen bicycle reports in 2011, and 194 so far this year.

Those numbers represent only a fraction of the bicycle thefts that actually occur, according to law-enforcement officials around the region and at least one university study.

“My guess is few people report their stolen bicycles,” observed Sacramento police Sgt. Andrew Pettit.

There are good reasons for this, and they’re contributing to a fitful rise in a softpedaled vigilantism among victims sick of being victims. Typically mellow cycling enthusiasts are taking it upon themselves to play amateur gumshoe—cruising Craigslist listings looking for missing wheels, sharing tips and photos on Facebook, narcking on suspected poachers. They aren’t above the occasional confrontation, either.

If Sacramento is indeed Fat City for crumbum bike thieves, then the opposition is preparing its response. Watch your wheels.

FORGET THE POLICE

Cardiel didn’t turn to the cops following last month’s robbery, and he’s far from alone.

When Patrick Shelley’s fixed-gear Schwinn Chicago disappeared from a back exit hallway at Midtown music venue Luigi’s Slice and Fun Garden during a Ganglians show in March—courtesy a “little punk girl” caught on surveillance video— the 20-year-old never once considered calling police.

“I didn’t think I would see it again,” he shrugged. “I just went home.”

Shelley’s casual pessimism isn’t unearned. Speak with any rider who’s had his or her bicycle stolen, and you’re likely talking to a serial victim whose lot wasn’t improved by a call to the fuzz.

“We would like to move to mandatory registration,” Chief Mark Iwasa confirmed.

Sac State’s campus police department received only 111 bicycle-theft reports last year. Of the missing bikes, an anemic 7.2 percent had been registered with the department, a small increase from 2010, when 4.5 percent of the 89 bikes stolen were registered.

“That’s still not a very high number,” Iwasa bemoaned. “So that’s been a major problem.”

Of the dozen or so suspected bike thieves campus police has pulled over this year, Iwasa estimates nearly half were let go because people didn’t register their bikes or couldn’t prove ownership.

One of those arrests occurred in May, when campus police stopped a young man for riding a registered bicycle on the wrong side of the road. Officers found bolt cutters on him, and traced the bike’s registration

THE HOMELESS NETWORK

It was an odd call, even by law enforcement standards.

On a Friday morning in early June, a 42year-old black male with salt and pepper dreadlocks confronted a bicyclist behind the Broadway McDonald’s on 24th and X streets and demanded he give up his wheels.

“Hey, you took that bike from me,” the suspect was reported as saying, before adding, “Well, not that one, but another one.”

Into this confusing fray shuffled a 50-year-old transient with a cart, a metal pipe and a 22-year criminal history. The transient, later identified as Fidel Valentine Moralez Jr., reportedly came out swinging, and the victim decided his bike wasn’t worth a concussion.

But the victim did pursue Moralez to a spot underneath Highway 50 at 20th and X streets and phoned police. Responding offiPHOTO BY WES DAVIS

More than 1,150 bicycles were reported stolen to the city police department in 2011. The first half of this year has already seen nearly 700. And very few people actually report stolen bikes.

Shelley’s friend, Marley Polonsky, has lost two bikes to theft, while her boyfriend has bid goodbye to three—all swiped from the Midtown area.

“We’ve had several incidents of bikes being taken,” the 23-year-old Sacramento State student sighed. “It’s not only a huge pain in the ass, but it’s almost unsettling.”

Sounding a familiar theme, Polonsky didn’t report the theft to police, saying both her vintage cruiser and her boyfriend’s single-speed road bike likely had their serial numbers scrubbed off.

Like an increasing number of Midtown victims, though, she posted news of the burglary on Stolen Midtown Bicycles. The Facebook page was created this past April with the stated goal of putting “a dent in midtown bike thievery.” It boasts nearly 860 likes—and about as many tales of loss.

Skim any selection of victim posts and you’re likely to encounter most of the emotions in the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle: Denial: “Anyone see my Gary Fisher yet??

I miss it…”

Anger: “pretty shady to see some of these people with $500-$1000 bikes. Im 100% sure many of these of stolen because a neighbor strips them down to spray paint at night.”

Bargaining: “We need to band together. maybe set up a sting or two? Anyone interested in getting together to brainstorm ideas?”

Depression: “My beloved 2009 Schwinn Classic 7 Deluxe bicycle was stolen from my garage in Tahoe Park late last night/early this morning.”

There just isn’t a whole lot of acceptance.

We had to scroll back to May 23 to find what passes for a happy ending: “A wonderful woman bought my bike from a ‘skeevy crackhead girl’ specifically so she could find its rightful owner. She found my posting on craigslist by searching for ‘van moof sacramento’ and called me today.

“The only way to find ’em is to report ’em!”

Just not necessarily to the police— municipal or otherwise.

A UC Davis survey performed last year showed that only 31.6 percent of students whose bicycles were stolen reported the crimes to campus police between November 2009 and October 2010. The survey projected about 2,519 people had their bikes stolen during that period, yet campus officers received only 480 reports. The university’s police department has since added an online form specifically for reporting bicycle thefts, and requires students to register their bikes with the department.

The latter idea is something that Sacramento State’s police chief is trying to see realized at his campus.

Patrick Shelley clutches his ride beside his friend, Marley Polonsky, a former bike-shop employee. Both are veteran biketheft victims.

sticker to its rightful owner, who’d left his bike locked to a rack elsewhere on campus.

University police used the bust as “a teachable moment,” wheedling students to get their bikes registered in a post on the department’s Facebook page.

Websites such as StolenBicycleRegistry.com, NationalBikeRegistry.com and BikeRegistry.com offer non-collegiate civilians a similar option.

And if you’re homeless and a victim of bike theft, registration or police intervention are no options at all.

cers got their man in a field near 10th Street, but the victim’s bicycle remains under new ownership.

According to Officer Mark “Batman” Zoulas, a well-respected veteran of the homeless beat, hot bikes double as illicit currency for some of the city’s homeless.

“Like cigarettes in a jail,” Pettit quipped; they’re easy to procure and simple to move.

And the clamorous parking lot of Loaves & Fishes is regularly ground zero for this particular stock exchange.

On any given day, the private North C Street charity shepherds 600 to 1,000 guests through its doors for hot meals, survival

“STEAL THIS BIKE” continued on page 21

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“STEAL THIS BIKE”

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services and a glimmer of respite. The foot traffic draws an equal number of people and bicycles to the facility’s parking lot, and there are constant squabbles over swiped wheels. The kindly nun in charge of it all empathizes, but says that—for the most part—her organization can’t be dragged in the middle.

“We know of certain people who are part of that underground thing and they’ve been eighty-sixed,” Loaves & Fishes executive director Sister Libby Fernandez told SN&R. “It’s an insidious thing that we have no control over.”

Pettit says he can’t remember a single instance of a homeless person asking him about a lost bike. “I’m not saying it hasn’t happened. It probably does. But maybe there’s an element of underreporting,” he explained.

Or as Fernandez put it: “They don’t want to get beat up!”

Advocates say fear of violent retaliation is the primary reason homeless victims of bicycle theft don’t report the crimes, even though members of this community suffer the most from the robberies.

“We know how desperately our people rely on bikes, because they’re the ones getting ripped off,” Fernandez said. “It is their most valuable commodity.”

And often this commodity makes its way four miles southeast to the bike-cluttered pathways of Sac State.

“There are a number of vagrants that come onto campus that are riding unbelievably nice bikes,” observed Chief Iwasa. While that doesn’t necessarily mean the bikes were stolen from campus, Iwasa doubts they were purchased fair and square outside the university’s confines.

Pettit says his officers sometimes confiscate these bikes, then tell riders they can be claimed with proof of ownership at the department’s property room. But no one ever does.

“Sacramento is just brutal. I mean, it’s ruthless. Anything that’s not tied down is just gone.”

John Cardiel pro biker, on two-wheeled theft in the city

The property room where recovered bicycles and other evidence is stored on Freeport Boulevard is less a cemetery for lost or forgotten bikes than a temporary purgatory, one that currently houses 65 spoked souls.

A precious few are claimed and brought back to the world of the bipedal; most are forsaken and moved on to a more permanent afterlife.

The ones that never even make it there are trafficked through a highspeed underworld.

BU Y E R B E WA R E

After burglars ransacked David Mayberry’s apartment in West Sacramento on June 20, the 46-year-old aerial-lift maintenance operator turned to Craigslist to post a reward for one item and one item only: the custom Cannondale Prophet 1 he pampered like an only child.

The thieves also took a couple of paintball guns and fly-fishing reels, some expensive cologne and about three pounds in laundry quarters, but all Mayberry cared about was the chocolate-brown road-chewer he calls his “Cadillac.”

“That bike is my pride and joy,” he said.

Craiglist’s section devoted to bikes for sale is positively booming.

There were 368 individual listings for bicycles and parts on July 19 alone—and that was before 5 p.m. A sleek Cannondale Synapse

PHOTO BY WES DAVIS

Pro biking legend and Sacramento resident John Cardiel’s Bianchi Pista—which he rode all over the world—was stolen off of his front porch a couple of months ago. He’s in mourning still.

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“There are a number of vagrants that come onto campus that are riding unbelievably nice bikes.”

Mark Iwasa campus police chief, Sacramento State Police Department

“That’s when you call us,” he stressed. “A lot of these guys, they don’t play by the same rules as we do. They may do drugs or be armed—their moral compass isn’t the same.”

Polonsky has been logging onto Craigslist daily since the theft of her vintage fixie, both in the hopes of spotting her bike and also to see about getting a new one. She filters the ads to search only sales by owner, and stays away from anyone with multiple recumbents to sell.

As for the oft-repeated notion that her cruiser—or parts of it—may be selling at some unscrupulous bike shop in town, the former City Bicycle Works employee is doubtful.

“I do not believe shops would,” Polonsky reasoned. “It’s quite a bit of a process” to sell your bike to a shop.

Moreso, at least, than selling it through Craigslist.

DUMB LUCK—AND A SHOVEL

About three weeks after the Luigi’s caper, Shelley and his brother happened by a D Street home where a young man was wheeling out a Schwinn that looked an awful lot like the one he’d lost. The make, the stem, the wheels— everything tracked but the color.

“Hey,” he said to his brother, “that kind of looks like my bike.” He went closer and got luckier than most victims of bike theft ever do.

The Schwinn had been crudely spraypainted a slapdash white, but swaths of the frame’s original blue were visible and the badge was unchanged. The brothers approached a skinny fellow of about 25.

Shelley’s brother happened to be carrying a

BEFORE

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Leave your bike on a rack too long, end up like this familiar sight near 15th and R streets.

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE SACRAMENTO POLICE DEPARTMENT

Carbon 3 road bike was selling for $1,825 in Elk Grove, while someone in South Sacramento was trying to unload a shiftless Huffy Stalker for $15. Every listing claimed to be posted by the property’s owner, a crucial litmus test for those looking to make legitimate purchases.

But despite Craigslist’s best intentions, and the flagging habits of an alert clientele, circumventing the site’s scam-prevention efforts isn’t impossible.

Sac State student Polonsky says she knows several friends who have found their stolen bikes on Craigslist—and got them back. In at least one case, the person who was selling it “wasn’t actually the person who stole the bike,” she added.

The idea of theft victims arranging to meet, and possibly confront, those who burgled them makes Pettit uneasy. He’s heard of instances where amateur detectives get the well-meaning snot beaten out of them.

PHOTO BY WES DAVIS

large shovel at the time, and the visual quickened the following transaction: The D Street resident said “some kid” had given him the fixie, then offered it back to Shelley without protest.

“I’m sure he gave it up so easily because it was two guys who cornered him, and one of them had a shovel,” Shelley said dryly.

The D Street sap’s story isn’t unusual.

Polonsky has been approached by sketchy salespeople trying to sell cherry bikes on the cheap. Cardiel’s buddy actually bought one, and he himself has been tempted from time to time, especially when a glassy-eyed dope fiend who doesn’t know the value of his hock is asking $50 for a pristine GT Cruiser.

“You know it’s worth 300, 400, 500 dollars,” Cardiel explained. “It almost gives you a ticket to buy something that’s stolen. You know you don’t want to support bike theft, because that just means it’ll happen more, but you’re thinking, ‘Shit, my bike just got stolen.’

“With the theft scene becoming so rampant in Sacramento, it’s almost like you’re a part of it.”

Becoming a part of the very scene that’s victimized you is a growing peril when the problem is this severe. And it’s tempting when the punishment for buying stolen merch is virtually nonexistent. Unless police secure a confession, or a serial number can be traced back to the rightful owner, there’s no formal justice to be had, lawenforcement officials acknowledge. And even on the off chance the thief hasn’t scraped off the digits, an investigator would need to track a number to the point of transaction to the owner’s current address.

“Can you imagine how long that takes making all those phone calls?” Pettit asked.

The short answer is too long to actually happen.

“As you surmised, there is not much investigation [or] follow-up that can be done in cases like this,” confirmed Deputy Jason Ramos, spokesman for the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department.

The department’s Property Crimes Bureau receives more than 15,000 general stolen-property reports a year, each one assigned to a detective charged with prioritizing the ones he or she can close. In the absence of what Ramos calls “solvability factors,” hard-luck cases find their way to the bottom of a never-ending pile.

“In most instances of bicycle theft, I would imagine that there is usually a virtual absence of such [factors],” Ramos acknowledged.

Unless you’re a malcontent on a message board, most riders have achieved a hard-won peace with police preoccupation. And while they’ve been conditioned by reality to expect little from the law, they’re expecting more from themselves.

And, for the most part, law enforcement is OK with victims playing detective.

“I think as long as you’re not confronting a suspect or a possible suspect, it’s a good idea,” Pettit offered cautiously.

He also urged riders to take preemptive and post-emptive measures such as committing serial numbers and other secretly-etched identifiers to quick smartphone pictures.

“A lot of people are part of this iPhone culture now. You can really quickly take a photo of your serial number, Tweet it, Craigslist it, disseminate it to hundreds of people within a matter of minutes,” Pettit suggested. “Sometimes that’s more effective than waiting a day or two and calling the police.”

“STEAL THIS BIKE”

A peek inside the city of Sacramento’s Lost and Found and safekeeping storage, home to approximately 65 bikes lately.

Because even when you do, those reports are typically broadcast out to roving patrol officers who may or may not keep an eye out for your pink beach cruiser with ape hangers and sparkle hand grips.

CITY OF THIEVES

A hundred-and-fifty years ago, towns began cropping up on dusty spits of land where no law yet existed. The whiff of gold drew fortune seekers of every moral stripe westward, and a dozen problems for every pair of mud-caked boots that slopped through town. Robberies, beatings, rapes and murders tarnished the very notion of manifest destiny, of the assumption that America deserved to expand. As a result, the respectable and the well-to-do formed their posses and kangaroo courts, and did what they could to keep a lid on things until the real law could arrive.

That process has been flipped on its arcane head here in the bicycle thief capital of America.

The law is present in name only and a cavalry that rides steeds of aluminum and rubber has yet to arrive.

Like many in this hard-hit community, Cardiel spent the days following his theft calling friends, skimming tweaker hangouts and bike trails for his Bianchi, browsing Craigslist

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posts and putting up his own ads. He exhausted every avenue—save for calling the cops.

Polonsky, Mayberry and a thousand others uploaded their stories to the network cloud and are praying for word from the internet gods. But they’re also hitting the streets.

“These thieves aren’t the brightest,” Polonsky said. “I’m hoping I may see mine riding by, but I think that’s doubtful.”

It happened to her friend Shelley, one of the lucky few. Maybe that’s why the 20-year-old rejects the notion that Sacramento is already lost to the takers.

“I don’t think it’s become accepted,” he said of the thefts raging through Sacramento. “If you’re going to steal a bike, you’re basically going to be considered a dirtbag.”

The city has many dirtbags—it’s true—but can also lay claim to riders whose only sin is a scorned faith that people won’t be thieves.

Shelley took his fixie back from someone who probably knew he possessed stolen goods. But what if that scenario went down another way, and the D Street-hipster rejected Shelley’s claim?

He considers this alternative reality for a silent moment, and then cracks: “I would’ve hit him with the shovel, I guess.”

Your move, dirtbags. Ω

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ARTS&CULTURE

I AFTER A DIVORCE AND OTHER PERSONAL SETBACKS, FIGURE BODYBUILDER MICHELLE SHEPHERD, WHO COMPETES SATURDAY, JULY 28, IN LAS VEGAS, IS RETHINKING BODY IMAGE AND REVIVING HER CAREER.

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magine your favorite mouthwatering, fattening, sweet and gooey dessert. Think of its delicious taste and delectable texture. Michelle Shepherd does that, too, but when the athlete’s training for a fitness contest, she routinely denies herself the pleasure of eating such treats.

And no wonder—you would, too, if people looked at your body under lights in the critical way Shepherd faces each time she takes the stage as a figure bodybuilder.

Wheels and reels See NIGHT&DAY

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n 2007, the Elk Grove resident competed successfully in figure contests such as the World Natural Bodybuilding Federation World Pro Bodybuilding & Figure Championships and other challenges in which in which judges rank competitors on posing, muscularity, stage presence and body balance.

Life was good. But could it be better?

She and her husband thought so. They opted to have children. They began fertility treatments—which ended, ultimately, in failure.

Then, the Shepherds divorced.

“It was a big turning point in my life,” Shepherd explains, sipping water at Tower Cafe one day in late June. “But [it wasn’t] an ugly thing. He and I maintained [a] friendship.”

But maintaining the rest of her life was another thing. Shepherd, then 43, entered a post-divorce period in which she found herself “hiding” from the world. That reality, new and nothing nice, hurt hard.

“My life wasn’t going in the direction that I thought that it would,” she said.

One thing that didn’t really change: Although Shepherd stopped competing after 2007, the Valley High School grad of Russian-Romanian-Spanish-Portuguese descent still kept her diet and training moving forward.

Sure, she visited Cold Stone Creamery— her sweet-tooth spot of choice—from time to time, but Shepherd kept the inclination to give in mostly under control. For her, willpower is the name of this dessert game.

Then, things turned around, and in 2011, walking out of her personal valley of despair, Shepherd launched a comeback to the sport. Along the way, step by step, a new measure of life-balance emerged, she says.

Now, Shepherd credits family and a new boyfriend with helping her to return to competition.

It’s a quest that doesn’t end or begin with training for competition. It appears to be a solitary pursuit. Contestants do it alone— accountable to themselves, not teammates—for results. Shepherd has no backup performers for a breather after posing for up to 30 minutes onstage. Still, this appearance of individualism belies a cooperative microsociety. No woman is an island.

Enter Randy Frank, a competitive bodybuilder and master trainer. Since January 2011, the Sacramento athlete has also been Shepherd’s boyfriend and trainer—and, she says, a rock-solid presence in her life.

“I understand body mechanics a little bit better now due to training with Randy,” she says.

For instance, he’s helped her to weight train for maximum efficiency via a fiveday-a-week routine that aims to simulate more muscle fibers, using myriad sets of reps for each body part.

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Crazydelicious salads See DISH

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Drop the sales pitch See ASK JOEY

“I am in awe of Michelle as an athlete and a woman,” Frank says. “I am lucky enough to be able to help her and be in love with her as well.”

Away from the gym, Shepherd’s support network includes her mother, brother, aunt and grandmother in Sacramento. They encourage her, she says, as a natural fitness (drug-free) athlete and daughter, sister, niece and granddaughter.

She, in turn, is there for them, too. For example, Shepherd spends time each week with her 89-year-old maternal grandmother, Granny, who lives in a local assisted-living facility. The duo doesn’t have to do anything particular together, Shepherd says.

They have a blast with one another, eating a meal or running an errand.

Shepherd’s mother, Ila Lewis, says she’s watched as the past few years have made her daughter stronger.

“I know that if I need Michelle, she will be there for me,” Lewis says.

“MAKING PERSONAL IMPROVEMENTS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WINNING AND LOSING.” Michelle Shepherd bodybuilder “Michelle’s gone through lots of transitions in the past few years that have provided her with inner growth and the determination to find out who she is.”

In this comeback of self-discovery, Shepherd occasionally misses a workout to spend time with her family and friends. Of course, training is important. But so are people close to her.

Further, Shepherd says she’s grateful for the camaraderie that she enjoys with other women in figure contests.

“Encouraging other women is one of the things about the sport that I love most,” she said. “I’ve coached some women on posing and stage presence and helped them with their diets to lose weight and prepare for competition.”

And Shepherd, in turn, has received a hand. For instance, Carrie Cocchi, a fellow competitor, provided a few posing instruction sessions. In this sport, each can teach one. Reciprocal relationships flower.

Tina Smith of Elk Grove is a former competitor and current promoter of natural-bodybuilding and fitness contests.

These days, she says, she sees Shepherd as a role model for other athletes.

“I’m thrilled that Michelle is helping women to achieve health and fitness and to support natural bodybuilding,” Smith says.

According to Shepherd, competitors of both genders wrestle body image—that of their own body and how it compares to the competition. |

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Launch Festival booty shakin’ See MUSIC

As such, where judges place contestants—first, second or otherwise—can set off a roller coaster of contestants’ emotions involving self-worth; it’s a thin line between negative and positive feedback.

“This sport is incredibly subjective,” she said.

While as competitive as anybody else, Shepherd says she tries to keep contest rankings in perspective.

“Making personal improvements is more important than winning and losing,” she says.

So how did Shepherd, the avid fitness contestant, come to this outlook—this end goal to not define herself by the latest ranking in a figure contest?

“It’s a struggle for me and other women,” Shepherd says of the challenge to keep a healthy perspective on what does (or doesn’t) happen onstage.

“I haven’t mastered it … but it’s so important and so hard to understand.

Otherwise, you go around feeling inferior.”

Having been there, she’s moved on in her comeback, one of trial and error. Last year, she finished first, fifth, sixth, eighth and second place in competitions from Sacramento to San Jose to Overland Park, Kansas.

What accounted for her range of contest finishes? In a word, it’s a food thing.

“Last year, I did not have a nutritionist,” Shepherd says.

This year, Shepherd hired Dr. Joe Klemczewski, a nutritionist she last worked with in 2007. Now, as a result of his help, she understands how her body works much better.

For her, the scale’s the key. Shepherd weighs every bit of food before she eats it in preparing to compete. In this way, she knows the precise calorie content of each morsel of food.

The strategy has largely paid so far: at the IFPA Pro USA and the NANBF California Natural Muscle Mayhem Bodybuilding & Figure Championships held July 14, in Elk Grove’s Sheldon High School Performing Arts Center, Shepherd captured second place in the professional class of competitors.

Next up: Shepherd and Frank will travel to Las Vegas where Shepherd will compete in the National Physique Committee figure contest on Saturday, July 28. The event is expected to attract nearly 200 competitors. After that, Shepherd says she’ll assess when and where to compete again.

Wherever she ends up, natural health and fitness will play a part, she says. So will striving to maintain a balance between life’s ups and downs. Lessons learned on and off the contest stage, her experience dealing with unexpected outcomes, are part of— not apart from—who she is.

“I feel a lot stronger now,” Shepherd says. Ω A RT S & C U LT U R E

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Joan Jett: punk pixie See EIGHT GIGS

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Survive the ride, snap a pic I hadn’t been to the California State Fair since I was roughly 10—I blame a combination of past horrific experiences and general stubbornness.

In fact, I vividly remember the very last time I stepped foot on those fairgrounds 13 years ago. It was 1999, and I was with my grandma and a hoard of cousins, and we were all wearing matching white plastic visors adorned with a picture of a bear—my day at the fair was sure to be tops, I told myself. I was ready for the corn dog, winning the biggest stuffed animal and spending all of Grandma’s money on useless fair junk.

But what I wasn’t ready for was the rides. My adrenaline levels were obsolete, and my cousins were ruthless in their attempts to change this. Eventually, they pressured me into boarding a mini coaster that involved sitting in a chair molded to look like you were sitting on the lap of a clown.

I started crying so hard during this ordeal, that I started to gag and, after a few seconds, the ride operator had to prematurely stop the ride.

Yes, I was the moping party pooper in the group for the rest of the day, and, as the years passed, I never really had the desire to go back.

Until this year.

This year, I find myself lured back to the fair by the promise of taking photo-booth pictures with my boyfriend.

Of course, we have to prioritize our activities, and as soon as we step foot on the fairgrounds, there’s no question: We need to hit up some food first.

My boyfriend barbarically rips into a turkey leg with the biggest smile, while I indulge in a corn dog. We both regret spending $12 on a single beer.

Then, I remind him of the photo-booth promise: “Make sure we set aside $5!”

Yeah, it’s no secret: The fair is a very pricey endeavor.

But we still have other items to cross of the list. After reintroducing Eat this, ourselves with fair food, exhibits and barf later? the crowd, it’s time to take on a ride.

As we scope out the massive lines on the midway, I wonder if that stupid clown ride from years ago is still around. I don’t see it though, so we decide on one that looks like two hammers swinging side by side. As my boyfriend and I rough the hour-long wait, I am ready. I am pumped, and by the time we’re escorted to our seats, I tell myself: “Photo booth after this, so let’s survive this ride!”

We take the seat in front, which made it feel like we were going to be smashed directly into the ground. I laughed like a maniac the entire time, while my boyfriend kept his eyes shut and kept repeating, “I’m gonna barf, I’m gonna barf.”

Overall, I find my fair palate rejuvenated with sweeter memories replacing those from childhood: my boyfriend threatening to barf on me; facing my fear of rides; indulging in beer and corn dogs; and, finally, the coveted photo-booth strip that brings a smile to my face each time I see it affixed to the refrigerator door.

—Alia Cruz The California State Fair continues through Sunday, July 29; visit www.bigfun.org for times, ticket prices and a complete list of events.

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NIGHT&DAY 26THURS DON’T MISS! ZAPATO VIEJO: Zapato Viejo,

a six-piece Latin band, will perform the last event in this year’s Winters Friends of the Library summer concert series. Zapato Viejo plays an eclectic collection of songs and rhythms from Latin America, both traditional and contemporary. The Davis-based band features seasoned performers with roots in rock, jazz and R&B, as well as Latin music.

Th, 7/26, 7pm. Free. Rotary Park, 201 Railroad Ave. in Winters; (530) 795-3476.

List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations.

Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your website.

Go to www.newsreview. com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

Poetry POETRY UNPLUGGED: Sacramento’s longest-running spoken-word open mic, with guest hosts Frank Andrick, Mario Ellis Hill, Geoffery Neill and B.L. Kennedy. Th, 8pm. $2.

Luna’s Café & Juice Bar, 1414 16th St.; (916) 441-3931; www.lunascafe.com.

Concerts TWILIGHT THURSDAYS: Enjoy warm summer nights at the Sacramento Zoo with extended hours on Twilight Thursdays, June 14th through July 26th.

Dinner specials, live music, car show and activities start at 5 p.m. Visit www.saczoo.org for each evening’s theme.

Th, 5-8pm through 7/26. Free with admission. Sacramento Zoo, 3930 West Land Park Dr.; (916) 808-5888; www.saczoo.org.

27FRI

DON’T MISS! THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW: Amber’s Sweets

presents a Rocky Horror Picture Show screening on a wide screen with a live shadow cast called Barely Legal. Costumes strongly encouraged. The all-ages show features audience participation, call-backs, props, and your favorite RHPS characters in the flesh.

F, 7/27, 9pm. $15. Colonial Theatre, 3522 Stockton Blvd.; (916) 869-8954; www.sachorrorfilmfest.com.

Special Events SHAKESPEARE ON THE VINE: Shakespeare on the Vine: No Holds Bard will be perfomed on the Carvalho Family Winery’s outdoor Crush Pad. Grab a glass of wine and join this event, featuring food by Jackson Catering available for purchase. F, 7/27, 6pm. Call for pricing. Old Sugar Mill, 35265 Willow Ave. in Clarksburg; (916) 514-2270; www.carvalho familywinery.com.

Film FREE MOVIE NIGHT: This movie night will feature Steven Speilberg’s blockbuster E.T. : the Extra-Terrestrial. Bring a blanket, lawn chairs and the

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entire family. Come hungry; food trucks will be on hand selling food. F, 7/27, 8:45pm. Free.

Village Green Park, 3141 Bridgeway Dr. in Rancho Cordova; (916) 273-5704; www.cordovacouncil.org.

Meetings & Groups KNOW THE 10 SIGNS OF ALZHEIMERS: Memory loss that disrupts daily life is not a typical part of aging. It may be a symptom of Alzheimer’s, a fatal brain disease that causes a slow decline in memory, thinking and reasoning skills.

This program will provide information about the 10 warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease and the importance of early detection. F, 7/27, 1-2:30pm.

Free. Cascade Village, 7600 Fruitridge Rd.; (800) 272-3900; www.alz.org/norcal.

Sports & Recreation USA BASKETBALL DREAM TOUR: MetroPCS, partner of USA Basketball, brings you the USA Basketball Dream Tour. A half court will be set up with the Team USA mobile van, giving fans a chance to play games, play with phones and an opportunity to meet basketball legend Shareef Abdur-Rahim.

F, 7/27, 3-7pm. Free. The Mobile Company, 6035 Florin Rd.; (916) 984-3947.

Concerts NEW CHRISTY MINSTRELS DINNER CONCERT: Randy Sparks, founder of The New Christy Minstrels, and fellow musicians have for years performed an annual concert benefiting the San Joaquin County Historical Society and the Micke Grove Zoological Society. The concert will feature the full eightmember New Christy Minstrels. F, 7/27, 6-10pm. $75.

San Joaquin County Historical Museum, 11793 N. Micke Grove Rd. in Lodi; (209) 331-2055; www.SanJoaquinHistory.org.

ROSIE BURGESS TRIO: Sometimes it’s hard to fit music into boxes, and the music being produced by the Rosie Burgess Trio is no exception. Sliding from folk to blues to gypsyroots and back, the trio cross more genres than state borders. F, 7/27, 8pm. $17-$20.

Sutter Creek Theatre, 44 Main St. in Sutter Creek; (209) 295-6440; www.suttercreektheatre.com.

28SAT

DON’T MISS! HAIR & FASHION BATTLE:

The Hair and Fashion Battle Expo, hosted by Jackie Christie (wife of Kings alum Doug Christie, and of VH1 Basketball Wives fame), will feature top salons and designers in Northern California and will showcase trendy fashionistas from every background, body shape and size.

Sa, 7/28, 5-10pm. $30-$40.

Scottish Rite Masonic Center, 6151 H St.; (916) 271-2351; www.hairand fashionbattle.com.

DON’T MISS! YOURE EATING WHAT?:

Organic Sacramento presents an evening of music, food, beverages and education. Enjoy beer and wine tasting, door prizes and tasty dishes from local organic restaurants and businesses. Speakers include Jeffrey M. Smith, founder of the Institute of Responsible Technology; Pamm Larry, founder of California’s Right to Know/Label GMOs Initiative; and Belinda Martineau, former genetic engineer.

Sa, 7/28, 6-9pm. $7-$10.

Crest Theatre, 1013 K St.; (916) 442-7378; www.thecrest.com.

Special Events FIESTA EN LA CALLE: Literally translating to “Party in the Street,” this festival celebrates Latino and world music. Now in its second season, the festival was created to provide a family-friendly outlet for Latino music, culture and food.

Sa, 7/28, 4-9pm. Free. Southside Park, Sixth and T streets; (916) 541-6302; www.fiestaenlacalle.com.

RIFF WITH THE REDHEAD: Erika Napoletano, author of The Power of Unpopular: A Guide to Building Your Brand for the Audience Who Will Love You and renowned badass, is hosting an intimate event that will offer an uninhibited perspective on marketing, communicating, branding, speaking, writing and, more importantly, life. Attendees will receive a complimentary signed copy of Erika’s book.

Space is limited. Sa, 7/28, 10am. $65. Amber House Bed & Breakfast, 1315 22nd Street; (916) 444-8085; www.amberhouse.com.

Classes YOGA AND PHYSICAL THERAPY: This workshop is an opportunity to enjoy the rejuvenating power of yoga while avoiding unnecessary injuries and pain.

Integrating physical therapy principles with each pose can be a liberating experience in your practice of yoga. You will discover new balance, strength and joy in being in your own body. Sa, 7/28, 2-4pm. $30. Ananda Sacramento, 10450 Coloma Rd. in Rancho Cordova; (916) 361-0891; www.anandasacramento.org.

Film REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA: Rocky Horror Picture Show melds with Blade Runner to deliver a cinematic, theatrical and interactive display of music, blood and skin. A special blood spray zone will quench your thirst for gore. Costumes are strongly encouraged. Sa, 7/28, 8pm. $15-$25. Colonial Theatre, 3522 Stockton Blvd.; (916) 869-8954; www.sachorrorfilmfest.com.

Kids’ Stuff BIRTHDAY CAKE & ICE CREAM SAFARI: Come out to the zoo’s official birthday party, where you can get all-you-can-eat Baskin Robbins Ice Cream in cones, sundaes, floats and allyou-can-drink Coca-Cola.

Additional fun includes face

painting, a dance party and other live entertainment. Sa, 7/28, 4-8pm. $13-$20.

Sacramento Zoo, 3930 West Land Park Dr.; (916) 808-5888; www.saczoo.org.

Sports & Recreation BIKE 2 BEAT CANCER: De Vere’s Irish Pub is hosting a second the Bike 2 Beat Cancer ride benefiting Christina Rosales (Pirruccello), as she battles cancer for the second time. It will start at de Vere’s Irish Pub in Sacramento and end at de Vere’s Irish Pub in Davis.

Registration begins at 8 a.m. and riders will depart at 8:45 a.m. Sa, 7/28, 8am. Call for pricing. De Vere’s Irish Pub, 1521 L St.; (916) 231-9947; www.deverespub.com.

Concerts RED-CARPET R&B CONCERT: T-Mo Entertainment Presents the Red Carpet R&B Concert, featuring Tone Malone, Kaleo Ross, Lenoris “P-dub” Louis, Jamie Jackson, Greta BrownStowe, LSB and host Terry Moore. Sa, 7/28, 7-10pm. $10-$15.

Guild Theatre, 2828 35th St.; (916) 208-7638; http://redcarpet randbconcert.eventbrite.com.

29SUN

DON’T MISS! KNOW YOUR RIGHTS SEMINAR: Despite often

being victims of discrimination and hate crimes, the Sikh community is largely in the dark about their rights.

The Sikh American Legal Defense and Education Fund is sponsoring this seminar to cover important information related to employment discrimination, hate crimes and resources from government agencies.

The event will also include an information session about the American Sikh Political Action Committee.

Su, 7/29, 12:30pm. Free.

Gurdwara Sahib, 2301 Evergreen Ave. in West Sacramento; (916) 371-5415; www.sikhtemple.org.

Special Events 40TH ANNUAL COURTLAND PEAR FAIR: Enjoy an old-fashioned country fair celebrating the Bartlett Pear harvest. It features a pancake breakfast, fun run, parade, the crowning of a Pear Fair Queen, classic cars, live music, an arts and crafts area, a kid’s area and lots of pear-related foods. Su, 7/29, 9am-6pm. Free, $10 for parking.

Highway 160 in Courtland; (916) 302-6485; www.pearfair.org.

Classes PATHS TO HAPPINESS DISCUSSION: The Paths to Happiness, as taught by Dr. Winston McCullough, integrates modern psychology research with spiritual wisdom and philosophy to examine and reveal the genuine causes of happiness. Su, 7/29, 6-8pm. By donation. The Yoga Seed Collective, 1400 E Ste. B; (916) 978-1367; www.theyogaseed.org.

Kids’ Stuff INSTRUMENTS OF THE WORLD: See and hear the sounds of unique musical instruments from every continent with musician Catherine Mandella.

She shares her love of world music with stories about the instruments and the countries the instruments come from.

Su, 7/29, 3pm. Free. Sacramento Public Library (Central Branch), 828 I St.; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

Sports & Recreation BOXING AT THE STATE FAIR: Shotgun Boxing presents its first annual State Fair Amateur Boxing Championships on the Golden 1 Stage. It features more than 60 male and female bouts between 3 and 8 p.m.

Su, 7/29, 3-8pm. Free with fair admission. Cal Expo, 1600 Exposition Blvd.; (916) 804-7333; www.bigfun.org.

Concerts YANNI LIVE: Yanni brings his new tour, An Evening With Yanni, to Sacramento. His live shows have been seen by millions, and this live show will feature some of the music from Yanni’s new album Truth Of Touch, which is his first album of original studio music in almost a decade. Su, 7/29, 7:30pm. $15$132. Sacramento Community Center Theater, 1301 L St.; (916) 808-5291.

30MON Special Events TRIVIA NIGHT AT KILT PUB: Join Questionable Trivia at Kilt Pub every Monday for two rounds of general knowledge questions. Prizes include discounts on food and drink.

Teams must be between two and six players. Show up around 7:30 p.m. for seating.

M, 8pm through 12/31. Free. Kilt Pub, 4235 Arden Way; (916) 487-4979; http://questionabletrivia.com.

Meetings & Groups TALK MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS LIVE: Talk M.S. Live is a free, educational group discussion to share your experiences, learn from others and speak with M.S. LifeLines professionals. Participate in a discussion with other people in your community regarding real-life strategies on how to live well and manage your M.S. M, 7/30, 6pm. Free. Hilton Sacramento Arden West, 2200 Harvard St.; (212) 701-7839; www.mslifelines.com.

31TUES

Special Events CAR SHOW AND STREET FAIR: The “High Octane Street Fair” on Vernon Street in downtown Roseville features live bands playing every Tuesday, food, a beer and margarita garden, a farmers market and fun zone for kids. A classic car show

features more than 120 classic cars from before 1973. Tu, 5-9pm through 7/31. Free.

Vernon St. Parks and Recreation Building in Roseville; (916) 786-2023; www.2025events.com/ 5701/index.html.

AN OVERVIEW OF TRADEMARK PROTECTION: Embarking on a new project? Unsure about whether you have a trademark and what you can do to protect it? Planning on using someone else’s trademark in your art? This workshop will provide an overview of trademarks, including selecting trademarks, how to search for potentially conflicting trademarks, and registering and maintaining trademarks. A question and answer session will follow. Tu, 7/31, 6:30pm. $5-$25. The Sacramento Business Journal, 1400 X St., Ste. 100; www.bizjournals.com/ sacramento.

RELATIONSHIP REPAIR SHOP: Facilitated by Laura Hansen, author, international speaker, counselor, and native Sacramentan, come to this event to learn new insights and communication tools each week to help fix what’s not working in your relationship. Tu, 7-9pm through 8/28. $5. Ancient Future Urban Sanctuary, 2331 K St.; (916) 265-0203; www.Laura Hansen.com.

Kids’ Stuff ROCK STEADY JUGGLING WITH DOUG NOLAN: Performer Doug Nolan demonstrates his precision juggling skills with an array of objects. He combines comedy antics and audience participation for a program sure to delight the entire audience.

Tu, 7/31, 4pm. Free. Arden-Dimick Library, 891 Watt Ave.; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

Meetings & Groups MEMORY LOSS, DEMENTIA AND ALZHEIMERS: This program will cover topics such as: warning signs of dementia, the differences between dementia and Alzheimer’s, diagnosis and risk reduction, research, principles of people-centered careù, successful caregiving, maintaining optimal health and accessing community resources. Tu, 7/31, 9-11am. Free. Stanford Settlement Neighborhood Center, 450 W. El Camino Ave.; (800) 272-3900; www.alz.org/norcal.

01WED

DON’T MISS! CRACKER: Cracker has been

described as a lot of things over the years: alt-rock, Americana, insurgent-country. It’s currently out on a summer-long tour as part of Barenaked Ladies’ Last Summer On Earth Tour. This local show, however, is one of the few where Cracker will be straying from BNL’s tour to headline its own show. W, 8/1, 7pm. Call for pricing. Dingus McGees, 14500 Musso Rd. in Auburn; (530) 878-1000.

Special Events OLYMPIC GOLD JAZZ, WINE & CHEESE: The Folsom High School Track Booster Club invites you to join a fundraising reception.

Coach Hampton invited more than 25 Olympians and attendees will be able to win wine and spa packages at a raffle.

Attendees will also be able to mix and mingle with the Olympians and other dignitaries in attendance. W, 8/1, 6-8pm. $25. Elk Grove Toyota

Dealership, 9640 West Stockton Blvd., in The Elk Grove Auto Mall in Elk Grove; (916) 683-4649; www.fhstrack.net.

VETERANS AND DIVERSITY EMPLOYMENT DAY: Sacramento’s top corporations, government agencies and non-profit organizations seek out the most qualified candidates from the multicultural and diverse communities of Sacramento.

A Diversity Roundtable group discussion among employers,

community, government and professional organizations takes place earlier in the morning before the career fair.

W, 8/1, 11am-3pm. Free. Lions Gate Hotel, 3410 Westover St.

background of each song and dance. The program offers an understanding of the Hawaiian culture and its richness. W, 8/1, 3:30pm. Free. Orangevale Library, 8820 Greenback Ln. in Orangevale; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

Kids’ Stuff MUSIC AND DANCES OF THE HAWAIIAN ISLANDS: The Ohana

Concerts

ONGOING

will be a night the whole family can enjoy. Come for dinner or shopping and join for free musical entertainment located in the Piazza near White House Black Market. W, 7-9pm through 8/1. Free. Palladio at Broadstone, 240 Palladio Pkwy. in Folsom; (916) 983-9793; www.gopalladio.com.

DON’T MISS! CA STATE FAIR: The eighteen-

day California State Fair is a robust celebration of the State of California, its industries, agriculture and diversity of its people. For many the State Fair is the culmination of hard work throughout the year. For others, the State Fair is a family summer tradition of enjoyment with plenty of entertainment, fascinating exhibits, popular livestock venues and mouthwatering food. Through 8/29, 11am11pm. $6-$10. Cal Expo, 1600 Exposition Blvd.; (916) 263-3000; www.bigfun.org.

PALLADIO WEDNESDAY NIGHT SUMMER CONCERTS: The Palladio

Dance Group presents the music and dances of the Hawaiian Islands. Learn about the historical and cultural

at Broadstone Wednesday Night Summer Concert Series

DON’T MISS! STRAUSS FESTIVAL OF ELK GROVE: Celebrate the Elk

Grove Strauss Festival’s 25th Silver Anniversary.

The event blends a professional orchestra with colorful costumed waltz and polka dancers in an outdoor classical setting.Join thousands to hear the music of Johann Strauss, Jr. supported by originally choreographed dances. Each performance concludes with a fireworks display. 7/26-7/29, 7-10pm.

Free. Elk Grove Regional Park, 9950 Elk Grove-Florin Road in Elk Grove; (916) 714-2527; http://straussfestival.com.

Special Events BROMELIAD AND CARNIVOROUS PLANT SHOW: The Sacramento Bromeliad and Carnivorous Plant Society welcomes the public to its 42nd annual show and plant sale. Hundreds of colorful bromeliads and unusual carnivorous plants will be on display and for sale. Sa,

7/28, 10am-4pm; Su, 7/29, 10am4pm. Free. Shepard Garden &

Art Center, 3330 McKinley Blvd.; (530) 887-5471.

BEERS, BIKES AND

SIERRA STORYTELLING FESTIVAL:

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Tellers and special guests will regale you with memories both poignant and hilarious—stories from African, Jewish and Native-American traditions, as well as heart-warming folk tales. The festival features nationally and internationally known tellers, food and drink, resources for your library, and introduces you to the beauty of the Sierra Foothills. 7/27-7/29. $7.50-$82.50. North Columbia Schoolhouse Cultural Center, 179894 Tyler Foote Rd. in Nevada City; (530) 265-2826.

Greens Hotel, 1700 Del Paso Boulevard.

For more information, visit www.facebook.com/reelbikeintheater.

f you live in Sacramento, you probably already know that some of the nicest evenings of the year happen in the late summer: pre-autumn winds, patchwork clouds and sun-kissed orange skies abound. Such evenings are the perfect time to get outdoors, ride bikes, watch movies and drink beer. In other words, they’re a great time for Reel, a new film festival that starts Thursday, August 2, and is organized by people who run the Wicked ’Wich food truck and The Greens Hotel.

The semimonthly film festival, which runs August through October, borrows from the model of drive-in theaters, but then replaces the cars with bikes. Dubbing itself a “bike-in theater,” it fits in with the

whole “green” theme of the hotel. Then, add in food trucks, booze, pop-up shops and deejays. Even better, the event is free (except for the price of food and drink); it’s also 21-and-older and dog-friendly. To recap, your festival itinerary is basically: 1. bike over to the festival (oh yeah, there’s free bike parking, too); 2. buy a beer and some food; 3. set out lawn chairs and blankets to sit on; and 4. enjoy the films. Seriously, you can’t really go wrong with that. The festival runs 6 to 10 p.m. on the first and third Thursdays of the month from August to October at The

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THE FILM LINEUP IS AS FOLLOWS:

SACRAMENTO SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL 2012: Celebrating 27

August 2: Raiders of the Lost Ark August 16: Dogtown and Z-Boys September 6: Best in Show September 20: Waste Land October 4: Snatch October 18: Exit Through the Gift Shop

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AFTER

Looking for something to do? Use SN&R’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online.

Art galleries and musems, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunies—all this and more on our free events calendar at www.newsreview.com.

Start planning your week!

years in William Land Park, the Sacramento Shakespeare Festival presents its 2012 season: King Arthur (shows: June 29 and 30; and July 8, 13, 15, 20, 22, 27) and Comedy of Errors (shows: July 7, 12, 14, 19, 21, 26, 29). Th-Su, 8pm through 7/29. $15-$18. William A. Carroll Amphitheatre, 3901 Land Park Dr. in William Land Park; (916) 558-2228; www.sacramento shakespeare.net.

—Jonathan Mendick

A RT S & C U LT U R E

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DISH

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Crazy-delicious town Pho King 2 6830 Stockton Boulevard, Suite 180; (916) 395-9244 Although Little Saigon is arguably Sacramento’s premiere culinary asset, many of the Vietnamese restauby rants on that particular precious strip of Becky Stockton Boulevard exhibit a samey-samey Grunewald quality. You’ve got your bun, you’ve got your pho and you often have a menu that’s half Chinese (of which it’s usually wise to steer clear). Occasionally, there’s a place that specializes in chicken pho or banh mi, but real variety is often hard to find.

Unless you visit Pho King 2, which has those aforementioned dishes.

The restaurant’s pho, with its full compleRating: ment of meats (eye of round, rare steak, tripe, ★★★★ tendon and meatballs), is heavily redolent of star anise. The rare steak is piled carefully onto Dinner for one: the pho, so it remains raw in the center, and $7 - $15 you can either dunk it in the hot broth or eat it bright pink. The tendon is perfect: small and melts in your mouth with a mild flavor. All in all, it’s good but run-of-the-mill—despite its name, this is not a pho destination.

The bun is similarly standard. The charbroiled pork does not approach the fat-rimmed perfection of the ne plus ultra: Huong Lan Sandwiches. I order the version with both the grilled pork and nem nuong, which is a bright-pink, lightly vinegared fermented Vietnamese sausage, usually ★ POOR with a strong garlic flavor. Pho King 2’s is short on garlic but long on porky flavor, and I wish it ★★ FAIR was served with more than four slices.

The bun bo hue (a spicy beef-lemongrass ★★★ GOOD soup that is the restaurant’s most popular dish), however, is a surprisingly delicate execution of ★★★★ EXCELLENT a normally gnarly soup. The bowl is laced with bright-red chili, and it packs a pleasant punch, ★★★★★ EXTRAORDINARY but the broth itself is clear and elegant. Again, it has the chewy eye of round, but with the addition of a slice of hog leg, cha lua (steamed ham loaf) and blood cake. It’s served, as is customary, with the flabby, large rice noodles that call to mind school-spaghetti lunches of yore.

PK2 takes a left turn into crazy-delicious town with its salads. The list of options sits quietly at the end of the menu, unheralded as a dac biet (specialty), yet it’s indeed special.

One off-the-menu salad (available on Still hungry? request) features rectangles of cold, pink Search SN&R’s “Dining Directory” to tendon, pretty as candied fruit. It’s smothered in find local restaurants pickled daikon and carrot, crunchy garlic chips by name or by type of and peanuts, delicate shreds of purple cabbage food. Sushi, Mexican, Indian, Italian— and white onion, and abundant rough-chopped discover it all in the Thai basil and cilantro. The dressing, served on “Dining” section at the side, is a sweet fish sauce swimming with www.newsreview.com. raw, minced ginger; I recommend you drench it.

I had this dish on a brutally hot day, and it cooled as well as any fan could have.

The chicken salad is composed identically to the tendon, but the dry shredded breast meat on the top is, conversely, boring as hell. I didn’t even know Vietnamese places served breast meat; I imagined they just shipped it off to Thai BEFORE

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restaurants for them to make into those weird, flavorless strips.

Another salad has the prosaic English name “beef with lemon”; in Vietnamese it’s bo tai chanh. Thin slices of eye of round are “cured” in lemon juice and lemon vinegar, and finished with a coating of sesame oil, herbs and chili flakes. The beef is meant to be piled on rice crackers studded with black sesame seeds, which strengthens the obvious comparison to ceviche. This large pile of raw beef is too much for any two people to consume; luckily it’s even better the next day. It’s an incredible dish, and one you won’t find on a menu very often.

Pho King 2’s bun bo hue is a surprisingly delicate execution of a normally gnarly soup.

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PK2 is bright and clean and has a crack staff of alert young people. That and the exceptional food result in brisk business at most times of the day. If you’re not Vietnamese, you may encounter a little resistance when you order an unusual dish (I won’t even go into the amount of pleading I had to do to get a serving of ox pizzle, which I’ll let you Google, if you’re curious), but be persistent, and after a few visits, you’ll earn a pass.

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The American diet is funked up. Having a vegan diet, though, requires one to be conscious of what one eats, including nutritional value. Iron and calcium are two biggies that omnivores often assume that they’re getting enough of from meat and dairy, but, according to Sacramento functional medicine physician and nutrition coach Dr. Glayol Sahba (www.doctorsahba.com), leafy greens, such as collards, spinach and kale, are the item “most missing in the American diet.” The best (and pretty much only) source of vitamin B-12 for vegs, though, is nutritional yeast, so Sahba recommends supplements for not only B-12, but zinc and vitamin D— even for cute-little-animal eaters.

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DISH Here are a few recent reviews and regional recommendations by Becky Grunewald and Greg Lucas, updated regularly. Check out www.newsreview.com for more dining advice.

Downtown

Estelle’s Patisserie With its marble tables and light wooden chairs, there’s an airy atmosphere, casual and cozy. Estelle’s offers an espresso bar and a wide assortment of teas and muffins and rolls for the breakfast crowd as well as sweets, including DayGlo macarons.

For the lunch-inclined there are soups, salads, sandwiches and meat or meatless quiche. One of the authentic touches is the spare use of condiments. The smoked salmon is enlivened by dill and the flavor of its croissant. Its tomato bisque is thick and richly flavored, and, in a nice touch, a puff pastry floats in the tureen as accompaniment.

Everything is surprisingly reasonable. Half a sandwich and soup is $7.25. A caprese baguette is $5.25.

Ham and cheese is $5.75. There’s a lot to like about Estelle’s—except dinner. Doors close at 6pm. French.

901 K St., (916) 551-1500. Meal for one: $5-$10. ★★★1⁄2 G.L.

Midtown

The Porch The Porch is light and white with a vibe that suggests the airy sweep of an antebellum Charleston eatery. One can only

accompany the fluffy, light focaccia, whose four rectangles come neatly stacked. Share The Press with someone you love. Mediterranean.

1809 Capitol Ave., (916) 444-2566.

Dinner for one: $15-$30. ★★★1⁄2 G.L.

envy the extensive on-site research conducted by chef Jon Clemens and business partners John Lopez and Jerry Mitchell, creators of Capitol Garage. The most enjoyable menu selections are salads or seafood sandwiches or entrees. Slaw on the barbecue pork sandwich elevates its status, and its pickled vegetables are sweet and tart, adding an additional dimension. The shrimp and grits dish, while laden with cheddar and gravy, is a synergistic mélange— perhaps The Porch’s trademark dish. Also in the running is the purloo, the low country’s version of jambalaya, with andouille, crunchy crawfish appendages, and the same sautéed bell peppers and onions that also appear in the grits. Southern. 1815 K St., (916) 444-2423. Dinner for one: $20-$30. ★★★ G.L.

The Press Bistro There are flashes of Greece, such as the crisscross rows of bare light bulbs over the front patio. Or the summery small plate of stacked watermelon squares with feta and mint. Even Italian vegetarians get cut into the action with mushroom ravioli and its corn, leek and dill triumvirate.

Another special is a colorful small plate of pepperonata—slightly-pickled-inchampagne-vinegar stripes of peppers awash in olive oil. Speaking of olive oil, it’s all that’s needed to

column, however. Any place that offers chimichurri rocks hard. Here it enlivens the Farm Animal Lollipops snack—particularly the lamb—and the mayor-of-Munchkin-City-sized lamb bocadillas. American. 2718 J St., (916) 706-2275. Dinner for one: $20-$40. ★★1⁄2 G.L.

The Red Rabbit Kitchen & Bar Resistance is futile when it comes to Red Rabbit’s desserts. The berryinfused ice-cream sandwich is bright and refreshing with a chewy shell that dovetails neatly with the smooth fruity interior. But there’s less effusiveness for the entrees.

The Bastard Banh Mi doesn’t improve on the original. A number of items from the “Farm to Plate,” “Tasty Snacks” and “Buns” sections of the menu land high in the plus

Sampino’s Towne Foods Sampino’s Towne Foods turns out to be a bright jewel in a drab Alkali Flat strip mall of paycheck cashers and laundromat. It’s everything an Italian deli should be and more, right down to the Louie Prima on the box and the timpano in the refrigerated display case. Several lobbyists, who elect to drive the six to seven blocks from their offices

near the capitol, to pick up sandwiches or—in one instance— five meatballs, begin spewing superlatives when asked their views on Sampino’s. Italian Deli. 1607 F St., (916) 441-2372. Dinner for one: $7-$15. ★★★★1⁄2 G.L.

Thir13en From the start—and, lo, these many weeks hence—the situp-take-notice plate remains the pork tonnato sandwich. It’s the Italian peasant spread or sauce made with tonno—tuna—tonnato that empowers this open-face masterwork. Spread on a toasted half baguette, the tonnato is the foundation upon which the pork rests.

Above the pork is an awning of mixed greens, with a generous

overhang, sprinkled with not enough crispy onions and paperthin slices of pickled fennel. There isn’t space to wax poetic about the cordon bleu sandwich, the burger, the designer cocktails or the fizzy water from Wales. See for yourself.

Very authoritative. American.

1300 H St., (916) 594-7669.

Dinner for one: $12-$20. ★★★★1⁄2 G.L.

East Sac

Formoli’s Bistro Formoli’s is the other half of the restaurant swap on J Street that sent Vanilla Bean Bistro (formerly known as Gonul’s J Street Cafe) to Formoli’s old warren

BREW THE RIGHT THING Apocalypse wow

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If Gen. Kurtz was guzzling brew out in his cruel jungle, it might have been Tart of Darkness, the recent release from muchadmired Southern California brewery The Bruery. This sour stout is not for everyone, what with its mild currant and cherry aromas, taupe pour and withering head. It’s moderately carbonated with a fruity, astringent tang—medium-high on the sour scale, perhaps like napalm in the morning?—which gives way to roasty, even toffeelike notes typical of a stout. A horror to some, it’s horribly good in my book. On draft and by the bottle at Pangaea Two Brews Cafe, 2743 Franklin Boulevard; (916) 454-4942; www.pangaeatwobrews.com.

Beer: Double Tap IPA Brewer: Berryessa Brewing Co. in Winters Where: The Shack, 5201 Folsom Boulevard;

(916) 457-5997

Beer: Brux Domesticated Wild Ale Brewer: Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. in Chico

and Russian River Brewing Co. in Santa Rosa’s collaboration Where: Burgers & Brew, 1409 R Street; (916) 442-0900

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RECYCLE THIS PAPER.

3541 Truxel Road (916) 929-9464

Juno’s Kitchen & Delicatessen To quote Gov. Jerry Brown from his first iteration as California’s chief executive more than 30 years ago: “Small is beautiful.” Juno’s proves this axiom in spades. The menu is fairly compact and slanted more toward lunch than dinner. Juno’s macaroni and cheese, which comes with rock shrimp on rigatoni, a Grana Padano, Gruyère and cheddar trio and a dusting of paprika, is a creative take on a comfort-food classic. In the traditional-sandwich realm, all start out with the advantage of Juno’s homemade sour—but not sourdough—bread with its crunchy crust and soft interior. In the soppressata salami sandwich, the bread amplifies the tartness of the pepperoncini while the turkey sandwich with provolone, tomato, arugula and pesto requires several napkins as the oil in the pesto seeps inexorably through the airy bread slices.

American. 3675 J St., (916) 456-4522.

Dinner for one: $5-$10. ★★★★ G.L.

North Sac

Mamma Susanna’s Ristorante Italiano There’s something endearing, almost Norman Rockwell-esque about a neighborhood restaurant that is most commonly referred to by its patrons as the neighborhood restaurant. There is no shortage of options on the menu with nearly a dozen or so pastas, even more types of pizzas, a smattering of salads and various entrees, including the piccata chicken or veal dish that Mamma Susanna’s counts as one of her specialties. Of the pastas and pizzas, the norcina tastes like and looks like an orangey vodka sauce with roasted red-pepper slices and sausage rounds tossed in a bed of penne. While the menu claims spicy, some red chili flakes do the trick. Italian. 5487 Carlson Dr., (916) 452-7465. Dinner for one: $12-$20. ★★★ G.L.

Vanilla Bean Bistro Gonul’s J Street Cafe has moved up the street and evolved into the Vanilla Bean Bistro. Its narrow, low-ceilinged coziness is consonant with its understated, whateverthe-impulse-inspires alchemy that owner/chef Gonul Blum, has shown over the past eight years. Blum hails from Turkey. That country’s culinary tradition provides a sturdy foundation, but for her, it serves more as a launching pad. A recurring feature practiced here is the inclusion of fruit—preserved and fresh—in many dishes. And the tabbouleh delivers a roundhousepunch flavor combination. Turkish.

3260-B J St., (916) 457-1155. Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★★1⁄2 G.L.

Indoor Surfing

ILLUSTRATION BY MARK STIVERS

and brought Formoli’s into its current high-ceilinged, spare, dark cranberry space of black tables and chairs just six blocks away.

Flavor combinations are a big part of the Formoli playbook, and the blend of the tower’s components is the payoff just as it is in the salad of beets—wafer-thin enough to be used interchangeably in the carpaccio—with shaved fennel, frisée, a few orange segments and pistachios laced with a stentorian balsamic vinaigrette.

Mediterranean. 3839 J St., (916) 448-5699. Dinner for one: $20-$40. ★★★★ G.L.

specialty is the morisqueta—the ultimate comfort dish due to the unique texture of the white rice, which is as soft as an angel’s buttock. Diners also have the option to order hand-shaped, griddledto-order tortillas. They are warm, soft, taste like corn and barely resemble those cardboard things you get at the store. Mexican. 5701 Franklin Blvd., (916) 428-7844.

Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★1⁄2 B.G.

Asian Café Asian Café serves both Thai and Lao food, but go for the Lao specialties, which rely on flavoring staples such as fish sauce, lime juice, galangal and lemongrass, lots of herbs, and chilies. One of the most common dishes in Lao cuisine is larb, a dish of chopped meat laced with herbs, chilies and lime. At Asian Café, it adds optional offal add-ons—various organ meats, entrails, et al— to three versions of the dish: beef with tripe, chicken with gizzards, or pork with pork skin. The beef salad offers a gentle respite from aggressive flavors, consisting of medium-thick chewy slices of eye of round with red bell pepper, chopped iceberg and hot raw jalapeño. The single best dish here is the nam kao tod, a crispy entree with ground pork that’s baked on the bottom of the pan with rice, then stirred and fried up fresh the next day with dried Thai chilies and scallions. Thai and Lao. 2827 Norwood Ave., (916) 641-5890.

Dinner for one: $10-$15. ★★★★ B.G.

Arden/ Carmichael

Bowl & Ramen Randomness yields wonderful rewards at Bowl Ramen, a ramen eatery under the same ownership as Mana Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar. This venture may explain the miso soup, not a common occurrence in other Korean joints, which is proffered here, along with the eight banchan dishes. It also explains the initially incongruous ramen and California Roll combo. For the less intrepid and the spice-averse, there’s nine ramen options, including ones that feature dumplings, cold buckwheat noodles and potato noodles. If not a believer in the miracle of sundubu, Bowl & Ramen offers conversion.

This unique tofu stew has mushrooms, veggies, onions and an egg on top but simply reciting the ingredients doesn’t do the combination justice. Here, the bibimbap is presented in an artful way; among the dish’s vegetables are small cubes of zucchini that appear out of place but skillfully augment the other flavors. Korean. 2560 Alta Arden Expy., (916) 487-2694 Dinner for one: $9-$15. ★★★1⁄2 G.L.

South Sac

Tacos & Beer This is one of the area’s best Michoacán restaurants. Of its regional dishes, the enchiladas Apatzingán are unusual, filled with only a smattering of sharp cheese and diced onion, soaked in a vinegary sauce, and smothered in very lightly pickled, shredded cabbage with raw hunks of radish and avocado slices. Another

Pear Fair A Sacramento-area tradition turns 40 this year at the annual Courtland Pear Fair this weekend. Located just 30 minutes south of downtown Sacramento, the festival celebrates the Williams pear (or Bartlett pear), known for its wide bottom and its traditional “pear-shaped” dimensions.

This is a rural event featuring decidedly small-town entertainment such as a parade, a Pear Fair Queen competition, pear-themed food (cider, bread, ice cream, etc.), a 5- and 10-mile run (which begins at 8 a.m.), a classic-car show, duck calling and live music (Jay Rolerz Band, Take 2 and Mariachi Los Gallos). The fun is set for Sunday, July 29, from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. Admission is free, and a $10 parking fee reserves you a spot close to the fair, near the corner of Washington and Magnolia avenues. For more information, call (916) 775-2000, or visit www.pearfair.org.

—Jonathan Mendick

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FRONTLINES

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COOLHUNTING Flippin’ fantastic Flipboard If you own an iPad, you’re probably already familiar with Flipboard.

It’s like an RSS reader, but the app aggregates content from socialmedia sites—Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, et al—as APP well. Even better, you can choose from other sites from which to pull content—whether its news content from The New York Times, art from Juxtapoz Magazine or photos from your favorite food blog. Essentially, it’s a personalized magazine you can flip through on your iPad or smartphone. The application, which first debuted exclusively on iPad, is now available for iPhones and Android-based smartphones. www.flipboard.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

The more things change …

2312 Davis author Kim Stanley Robinson takes us three centuries into the future to find we’re still facing the big question: Can humanity survive itself? In the well-explored and terraformed solar system of 2312 (Orbit, $25.99), wealth is still concentrated in the hands of a few, and we’re still running out of room, plus Earth is a mess. Swan Er Hong, an odd resident of Mercury who’s fond of weird performance art and exists in near-autistic social isolation, finds herself in the middle of a mystery that BOOK involves eco-terrorism (on Mercury, Venus and Earth) and that forces her to develop some new relationship skills as she moves from inner system to outer. Best of all, Robinson makes the science readily understandable while keeping the human issues up front.

—Kel Munger

Stylist to the video stars Console to Closet The world of video games and fashion rarely collide, and maybe that’s because most gamers tend to lack fashion sense. But for gaming student and fashion nut Amanda McGinnis, these two worlds couldn’t have more in common—both video games and fashion have a high level of detail and aesthetic, after BLOG all. That’s why McGinnis created her Console to Closet blog to highlight outfits she’s styled that are inspired by video-game characters. There are outfits influenced by gaming figures such as Donkey Kong, Connor (from Assassin’s Creed III) and Duke Nukem, to name just a few. The pieces of the outfits are sold from varying manufacturers. Fortunately, McGinnis provides links to all the real-world pieces, so you can shop online to wear your own version of her video-game inspired outfit on your next night out on the town. http://consoletocloset.com.

—Aaron Carnes

Small wonders California State Fair cheap treats The California State Fair, which continues at Cal Expo through Sunday, July 29, is filled with countless, small and inexpensive wonders. For example, there’s a little-known spot near the front entrance where four vending machines offer Coke brand soft drinks for only $1.50 each. Or, when it comes to fair foods this year, nothing beats deep-fried Pop-Tarts, available for $5 directly behind the Promenade Stage at the Sweet Cheeks food stand. It’s overwhelmingly sweet, but tastes like a jellyfilled doughnut. Be sure to have it covered in chocolate, or it will be too doughy. Finally, they’re regularly overlooked, but you’d be surprised at how much better your feet feel after sitting on a vibrating foot massager. For only 25 cents, your tired dogs get 30 seconds LOCAL of intense pulsation that creates a strange sensation that makes it seem like you literally can’t feel your feet. 1600 Exposition Boulevard, www.bigfun.org.

—Lory Gil

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ASK JOEY Don’t be that guy

by JOEY GARCIA

Joey

says yes to things she cannot change.

Got a problem?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review.

Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question— all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

BEFORE

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I am a smart, attractive, fit, fun, employed, divorced 59-year-old guy. The mantra of most women I meet is: “I have my work, grown children, pets, home, hobbies, friends and my vibrator, so unless you are rich, handsome or talented, why bother?” Yet, a quick search of Match.com indicates there are over 2,000 women aged 48 to 60 looking for a connection within 50 miles of Roseville. If a date occurs, why do these women expect courtship typical of our 20s or 30s? For me, at this age, it’s about genuine companionship, as well as intellectual and physical connection. What is a realistic version of dating at my age?

For some midlife adults, dating is an opportunity to be swept away.

They long for the sensual romance experienced in their younger years. Or they crave being desired and consumed in the ways that many movies and novels portray. If you are dating women (or men) from this pool, you will always find yourself hitting the glass ceiling. The reality of a human being in all of his or her glorious messiness will never compete against the idealized two-dimensional characters presented in most fantasies.

Dating is a process, a numbers game, a glittering mystery.

For other middle-aged adults, dating is a chance to rise in consciousness. These individuals are focused on fulfilling the capacity to love and be loved from their deepest values. This is a spiritual approach to life that does not align with expectations of the majority of people dating online. The difficulty for you, then, is to discover why you persist in trying to date women whose objectives crucify your own. Shedding that behavior might be your best move.

You should also reevaluate your mask. Does your selfdescription (“smart, attractive, fit,” etc.) honor who you really are? Or it is a sales hook designed to get to the first coffee date so you can try to seal the deal? And who are you fishing for online?

One of my guy friends says men FRONTLINES

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use online dating to approach women who are beyond their pay grade. Yes, that means men try to date women who they would never approach in a public setting. If my friend is correct, I would add that once these men are turned down, they use the experience as evidence women are the problem. Don’t be that guy. Dating is a process, a numbers game, a glittering mystery.

Enjoy the journey.

I have a hard time accepting appreciation. I don’t want people thinking I’m going to help them every time. How can I let them know this so they understand?

I have one family member who only calls me when they need something. I don’t even want to take their calls anymore.

There’s a powerful engine driving your train of thoughts. Hit the brakes and detach the belief that your acts of kindness must occur in multiples. If you keep your mind in the present moment, receiving someone’s expression of gratitude is a gift. If your mind travels into the future and away from you, the separation can be felt as worry, fear or anxiety. So the next time someone offers a heartfelt “Thank you,” embrace it.

Then, say: “You are welcome.

I am happy that I had the time and energy available to help you this time.” It’s a simple shift in language to allow you to hear yourself including an exit strategy. And don’t be offended by the relative who only calls to ask for help. She or he may be embarrassed at how unequal they feel (in capability, finances, education, etc.) around you. The resulting shame makes it difficult for such a person to reach out to you in friendship. You might balance the equation by asking this relative for help you know they can easily give. Ω

Meditation of the week: “The bodhisattva is never surprised,” said Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a Buddhist teacher.

When I feel hurt by the actions of others, I remind myself that all humans, including me, are capable of anything. With this wisdom, compassion and understanding thrive in me.

FEATURE

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California Stage Presents

STAGE Emotional wallop Dying City Holy crap! What a play!

Christopher Shinn’s Dying City, which by opened Saturday at Capital Stage, is a Jim Carnes provocative psychological drama of secrets, self-sabotage, anguish and anger. Set in New York in July 2005, with flashbacks to January 2004, the play layers the fears and traumas of childhood with the emotional aftermath of 9/11, and the psychic assault of the Iraq War. Scenic designer Steve Decker houses the piece in an impersonal setting of chrome and glass, a sofa, a television and little else. A metalwork cityscape backdrop firmly grounds the action.

In its wrenching revelations, its vitriol and unsettling conclusion, Dying City packs the sort of emotional wallop we ascribe to works like Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? The truth hurts, and grief comes at different times and in different guises. We survive, sometimes tenuously—and not Ω always happily.

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Dying City, 7 p.m. Wednesday; 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday, Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday; $20-$32. Capital Stage, 2215 J Street; (916) 995-5464; www.capstage.org. Through August 12.

4 WELL-DONE

5 SUBLIME-DON’T MISS

When the play opens, therapist Kelly (Lyndsy Kail) is packing up her Manhattan apartment for a move. She is interrupted by the arrival of Peter (Chad Deverman), an actor and the twin brother of her husband Craig, who died in Iraq. His unbidden appearance is a devastating reminder of the day more than a year ago when military men rang her doorbell to tell her of Craig’s death.

Set entirely within Kelly’s apartment, the play shifts back and forth in time between the present-day confrontation between Kelly and Peter and the emotional exchanges between the husband and wife the night before he shipped out. Deverman plays both brothers, using slight wardrobe variations and glasses to delineate the change.

Director Jonathan Williams achieves unrelenting tension even as Shinn’s play, running less than 90 minutes, takes its time in revealing the personal histories, anxieties and entanglements of these walking wounded. Kail and Deverman deliver superlative performances, unraveling as they strip away pretense and get to the awful, honest truth.

4 Gods and stars Psyche

Psyche is an upstairs-downstairs story, but not in the sense of aristocrats and servants.

Downstairs, there’s a cautionary tale about the Hollywood meat grinder, with aging, substance-abusing actress Vera (Alison Whismore) fresh out of rehab and trying to jump-start her faltering career while having a fling with Ali (Jason Oler). He’s a charming, opportunistic actor half her age who views Vera as his stepping stone to stardom.

But up in the attic, Vera’s shy son Peter (Anthony Pinto)—the proverbial struggling writer—is fully obsessed with his muse, the beautiful goddess Psyche, who materializes amid Peter’s scribbled manuscripts.

If you know anything about myths in which humans get involved with immortals, you know that things rarely end well for the former.

This new play by Meghan Brown, a UC Irvine graduate, is directed by Steven Schmidt (a set designer and builder at B Street Theatre) and Maddy Ryen (a veteran of Acme Theatre Company in Davis).

Barnyard Theatre is one of the region’s most interesting summer projects. Shows are staged in a working barn built in 1893 (with a dirt floor—be prepared for dust!) on a farm west of Davis. Shows start at 8:30 p.m., because that’s when it gets dark.

Company members are mostly recent college grads—many of whom are Davis Senior High School alums—and their energetic productions lean toward ambitious newer dramas and original works.

In addition to being a very interesting new play, this show’s technical aspects—lights, sound, video—are fairly sophisticated and impressive, especially so given that the production is literally being staged in a barn.

—Jeff Hudson

Psyche, 8:30 p.m. Thursday, Friday, Saturday; $10-$15.

Barnyard Theatre in the historic Schmeiser Barn, 35125 County Road 31 in Davis; (530) 574-1318; www.barnyardtheatre.org.

Through August 4.

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DANNY AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA

Brian Rife directs this taut and emotionally driven play by John Patrick Shanley about a pair of misfits with lots of baggage. Th, F, Sa 8pm. Through 8/4. $15.

Uh, Yup Productions; the California Stage’s Wilkerson Theatre; 2509 R St.; tickets@uhyupproductions.com; www.uhyupproductions.com. K.M.

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THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

This tale of twins separated at birth and the confusion that ensues when they meet up as young adults is set in 19thcentury Turkey. 7/26, 7/29 6:30pm. Through 7/29.

Gates open at 4:30 pm; $15-$18; kids ages 6-12 free. Sacramento Shakespeare Festival, William A. Carroll Amphitheater in William Land Park, Land Park Dr. and 15th Ave.; www.sacramentoshakespeare.net. P.R.

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THE FULL MONTY

Runaway Stage Productions goes all the way with this adaptation of the 1996 film. The transfer from film to Broadway is more or less smooth, and the cast gets a lot of laughs. F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 7/29. $15-$22. Runaway Stage Productions at the 24th Street Theatre, 2791 24th St.; (916) 207-1226; www.runawaystage.com. M.M.

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THE LIFE AND UNDEAD OF KING HENRY V

The zombies are deliciously fun, but the real surprises here are that the language is all Shakespeare and the story makes good sense: King Henry IV’s usurpation of the British throne has brought about the zombie apocalypse. Th, F, Sa 8pm; Su 2:30pm.

Through 7/28. $10-$15. Big Idea Theatre, 1616 Del Paso Blvd.; (916) 960-3036; www.bigideatheatre.com. K.M.

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KING ARTHUR

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LOOKS & MONEY

Whatever this show about the mythical king—written “in the style of Shakespeare” by Sacramento Shakespeare Festival’s director, Luther Hanson—lacks in language it makes up for in sword fights. 7/13, 7/15, 7/20, 7/22 & 7/27 6:30pm.

Through 7/27. Gates open at 4:30pm; $15-$18; kids ages 6-12 free. Sacramento Shakespeare Festival, William A. Carroll Amphitheatre in William Land Park, Land Park Dr. and 15th Ave.; www.sacramentoshakespeare.net. K.M. Two absurdist plays—The Ugly One

by Marius von Mayenburg and The New Tenant by Eugene Ionesco—get a viscerally and intellectually entertaining staging by the B Street company. God bless Buck Busfield—he’s picked a great way to open the 2012-13 season. T 6:30pm; W 2 & 6:30pm; Th, F 8pm; Sa 5 & 9pm; Su 2pm. Through 8/5. $23-$35. B Street Theatre, 2711 B St.; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org. J.C.

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THE TEMPEST

David Blue Garrison and Christopher DeVore have written a frame story for Shakespeare’s The Tempest that sets up a ’40s noir tale of a dying theater legend (Richard Spierto) who never got to play Prospero. F, Sa 8pm; Su 7pm. Through 7/28. $15. The Alternative Arts Collective Blue Box Theatre; 1700 Del Paso Blvd. at Oxford St. and Lea Way; (916) 572-5831; www.taactheatre.com. P.R.

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THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA

Director Charles Fee cross weaves streamlined Shakespeare with live indie pop and contemporary cafe culture in this smooth, hilarious and moody production. Tu, W, Th, F, Sa, Su 7:30pm. Through 8/26. $15-$80. Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival, Theatre at Sand Harbor State Park, 2005 Highway 28 in Incline Village, Nevada; (800) 747-4697; www.laketahoeshakespeare.com. J.H.

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VOICE OF GOOD HOPE

Voress Franklin pulls out all the stops in her inspired portrayal of the legendary congresswoman Barbara Jordan in this play by Kristine Thatcher, directed by James Wheatley. Th, F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 8/4. $8$15. Celebration Arts, 4469 D St.; (916) 455-2787; www.celebrationarts.net. K.M.

Short reviews by Jim Carnes, Jeff Hudson, Maxwell McKee, and Kel Munger.

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FILM

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BEASTS OFTHE SOUTHERN WILD ToRome WithLove WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY WOODY ALLEN

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MoonriseKingdom

She steps to conquer

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D I S C OV E R T H E M O S T

MAGICAL

Step Up Revolution Step Up Revolution is the fourth installment in the street-dancing franchise that has been strutting onto movie screens every other year since by Jim Lane 2006. The good news is that, after bottoming out with the pathetically dismal Step Up 3D, the series rises again to the mediocrity it attained in the first two movies.

Revolution’s script is credited to Jenny Mayer, whose filmography is otherwise barren.

Perhaps she was a promising student in some screenwriting class—though, that doesn’t seem likely. The credits also say “Based on characters created by Duane Adler,” writer of the first picture. This is most odd, since the only characters the two movies have in common are the ones that spell “step up”—and surely Adler doesn’t claim to have created those. Ah well, Hollywood’s writers’ guild has its own rules, and they’re not always easy to understand.

2

FI L M OF T H E Y EAR “A BLAST OF

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VERY GOOD

5 EXCELLENT

At least Mayer’s script improves somewhat on the cringe-making plot of Step Up 3D (dance troupe must win the big contest or be thrown out by cruel landlord). This time it’s a YouTube contest for flash-mob videos; the first group to rack up 10 million hits will win a prize of $100,000. Vying for this prize are two Miami buddies, Sean (Ryan Guzman) and Eddy (Misha Gabriel), ringleaders of a group who call themselves simply “The Mob.” Into the story comes Emily (Kathryn McCormick), with whom Sean has a meet cute when he mistakes her for a new employee at the hotel where he works. Cute turns to sexy in an impromptu dance on the beach—but like Cinderella at the ball, Emily vanishes before Sean can even learn her name.

The suspense doesn’t last long. The next morning at breakfast, Sean finds himself waiting on Emily and her father, Bill Anderson (Peter Gallagher), a high-rolling developer from Cleveland. Anderson is the new owner of the hotel where Sean works, and he has just fired Eddy for showing up late and sloppily dressed for a full-staff meeting.

Worse yet, Anderson is planning a massive hotel complex in Miami that will demolish Sean’s entire working-class neighborhood, obliterating its rich cultural mix. Emily’s sympathies lie with Sean and his neighbors, and when she learns that they are The Mob, she suggests they change their approach from “performance art” to “protest art,” staging step-dance protests against the faceless, soulless corporate world her father represents.

At Sean’s insistence, and against her wishes, Emily keeps her true identity a secret from the others, but inevitably Eddy finds out she’s Anderson’s daughter. Feeling betrayed, he decides to strike back. (There’s also a hint of homosexual jealousy in Eddy, but not enough to jeopardize the movie’s PG-13 rating.) Eddy stages a flash mob to disrupt an elegant reception of Anderson’s—dancers barge in wearing camouflage and gas masks, tossing gas grenades (apparently harmless) before going into their dance.

Unfortunately, this scene has been rendered unintentionally ugly by recent events in Aurora, Colorado. No fault of the filmmakers, of course, but even without that association, it’s hard to imagine how this stunt of Eddy’s could result in anything but a stampeding panic, with dozens trampled to death in the rush.

The cast, except for Gallagher, is the usual Step Up gaggle of hungry and inexperienced unknowns. Whether any of them can build a career beyond this film remains to be seen—but it’ll probably require a healthy dose of good luck.

Director Scott Speer juggles the underseasoned cast and the script’s overcooked clichés about as well as could be expected, but he needn’t start rehearsing his Oscar speech just yet.

Director Scott Speer juggles the underseasoned cast and the script’s overcooked clichés about as well as could be expected, but he needn’t start rehearsing his Oscar speech just yet.

And the dancing? Well, it’s got a good beat, and it’s fun to watch. But like the dances in Step Up 3D (they’re in 3-D here, too), these are so digitally enhanced, that one wonders if they were digitally created as well—and the mere suspicion plants a fatal disbelief that undermines all the sweat and toil on the screen. Some of the moves seem to defy the laws of physics, and the editing of the dance numbers has a staccato, speeded-up look—as if the dancers, whatever their talents, couldn’t quite do their stepping up as fast or as nimbly as the movie wanted them to. Ω

2

take this waltz Rated R Fri-Sun 11:15 2:15 5:15 8:15 mon-thu 5:15 8:15

The Amazing Spider-Man

1

Ice Age: Continental Drift

The worst animated-feature franchise in movie history—OK, maybe it’s tied with the Madagascar pictures—returns for the fourth time, and it’s lousier than ever. What we shall laughingly call “the story” expands on a cartoon short that played with Jack Black’s 2010 stinker Gulliver’s Travels, in which Scrat the squirrel’s endless pursuit of that acorn causes Earth’s prehistoric landmass to break up into the continents. Then the main characters take over, as Manny the mammoth (voice

by Ray Romano) and his pals (John Leguizamo, Denis Leary) are cast adrift, separated from Manny’s wife (Queen Latifah) and daughter (Keke Palmer), and thrown into the clutches of pirates. The first three movies stank and made billions. This one will no doubt do the same, but it’s still 94 minutes you’ll never get back. J.L.

Katy Perry: Part of Me

Directors Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz follow pop diva Katy Perry on her 2011 California Dreams Tour, with side trips into biography and interviews with Perry and her family, friends and support staff. We get glimpses of Perry’s Pentecostal Christian roots, her early flings at faith-based music, the inexplicable failure of her first record label to develop her career (was there ever a more perfect example of middle-of-the-road bubblegum pop?), and most startling and touching, the collapse of her 16-month marriage to Russell Brand. It’s a sympathetic, even adoring portrait, and Perry herself comes across as likeable and unaffected. The movie also documents the undeniable fact that the star’s flashy concerts and her coquettish candy-box eroticism certainly give her wide-eyed fans their money’s worth. J.L.

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nOw Playing - ends 7/29

bernie Rated PG-13 Fri 12:00 3:00 6:00 8:50 Sat 12:00 only Sun 12:00 3:00

Trash Film Orgy PresenTs

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Beasts of the Southern Wild

The debut from writer-director Benh Zeitlin, working with playwright Lucy Alibar and a New Orleans collective, rides in on a murky flood of festival hype. And what caused that, anyway? The inevitable confluence of poverty porn and indie quaintness?

Newcomer Quvenzhané Wallis steals the show as a brave 6-year-old who yearns for her missing mother, copes with her ailing father (Dwight Henry), and navigates the archly magical-realist realms that lurk amid the muck and grit of her doomed Louisiana bayou. It’s a flamboyant indomitable-spirit demonstration, with undeniable vitality but also a sort of heavy, beastly dullness. Zeitlin has talent and guts, yes. Ultimately, though, he inspires not wonder or awe so much as our awareness of the pride he takes in his own presentation. J.K.

3

the intouchables

nOw Playing

Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios reboot the Spider-Man franchise, hoping to compensate for the loss of director Sam Raimi and star Tobey Maguire. Retelling the whole story from square one was a mistake; the clunky script by James Vanderbilt, Steve Kloves and Alvin Sargent only reminds us of how clear and economical David Koepp’s script was back in 2002. It still might have worked if they’d been able to replace the irreplaceable Maguire, but Andrew Garfield can’t come close; he turns Peter Parker into an unlikeable, twitchy, sullen mumbler—the kind of character you avoid making eye contact with on public transportation. Director Marc Webb does what he can, but the movie needs a star at the center of Spider-Man’s web, not the black hole Garfield plays. As the love interest, Emma Stone is wasted. J.L.

3

opening Fri, july 27

Show timeS valid July 27 – auguSt 2, 2012

by JONATHAN KIEFER & JIM LANE

Magic Mike

An experienced male stripper (Channing Tatum) takes a feckless young slacker (Alex Pettyfer) under his wing, teaching him the ropes of exotic dancing while developing a cautious flirtation with the kid’s skeptical older sister (Cody Horn). Reid Carolin’s script is a fountain of unlikely clichés (the unlikeliest being that the diffident, underfed Pettyfer would be such a sensation his first time on the runway), but the director, the unpredictable Steven Soderbergh, gives the clichés a surface gloss of credibility. Better yet, Tatum seems to have found his signature role; his dance moves are great, and in a few short years he’s progressed from an inert lump to an actor of some promise. Horn, too, is a find; it’s almost worth the price of admission just to watch her face the first time she sees Tatum dance. J.L.

BEFORE

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Hey, I can still bite you.

3

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LIKE

The Dark Knight Rises

Its historical moment unavoidably marred by mass murder in Colorado, this grand finale to writer-director Christopher Nolan’s rebooted Batman trilogy offers Christian Bale once more as the caped crusader, challenged at length to come out of retirement, win back public trust, secure his city and his legacy, and pass his torch. Along with the familiar comforts of series regulars Gary Oldman, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, Nolan also makes room for a burly respirator-faced nemesis played by Tom Hardy, a cat woman played by Anne Hathaway, and, of particular interest and appeal, a clever beat cop played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. There’s also a pudding of topical politics, noisily and unsmilingly processed to the tune of a thundering Hans Zimmer score. Sometimes it’s fun being inside a big movie for a long time, and so this one sprawls—both visually, with the considered aesthetics of the summer-blockbuster set piece, and verbally, with Nolan and his co-writer and brother Jonathan Nolan keeping their characters rather garrulously philosophical about virtue, power and justice. J.K.

4

Polisse

A great find from the 2012 Sacramento French Film Festival, this extraordinary ensemble drama plays out very much like a grand, Gallic episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. But instead of tautly topical formula best suited to a half-watched TV, it sprawls with unruly big-screen dynamism and doesn’t dare let go of your attention. As seen by a shy photographer, played by director/cowriter/force of nature Maïwenn Le Besco—or, as the credits call her, just “Maïwenn”—it’s ostensibly a group portrait of short-fused cops at the child-protection unit. “We don’t judge; we don’t care,” one officer says, coaxing a confession, and it is the movie’s great privilege to investigate that claim. What’s miraculous is the degree of lyricism it derives from unquenchable and innately compassionate psychological curiosity. J.K.

3

Rock of Ages

An Oklahoma girl (Julianne Hough) in 1987 Hollywood hopes to make it as a singer but ends up working in a club on the Sunset Strip and falling for an aspiring rocker (Diego Boneta). The movie version of the hit Broadway jukebox musical surrounds these appealing youngsters with stars (Alec Baldwin, Paul Giamatti, Russell Brand, Catherine ZetaJones, Tom Cruise, Mary J. Blige) and flashy retro-rock musical numbers, staged with electric glitz by director Adam Shankman and choreographer Mia Michaels. The story is stretched too thin for too long, and an added subplot with Zeta-Jones as the mayor’s wife out to clean up the Strip does little more than let her in on the fun. Cruise (as an Axl Rose-ish rock star) and Blige (as a strip-club owner) give the best performances, and the driving beat keeps toes tapping. J.L.

4

Safety Not Guaranteed

A Seattle magazine writer (Jake M. Johnson) and his two interns (Aubrey Plaza, Karan Soni) investigate a mysterious loner (Mark Duplass) who has placed a want ad seeking a partner in a time-travel experiment (“Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed.”). In the process, one of the interns (Plaza) finds herself drawn to the man, and begins to think he may not be such a crackpot after all.

Written by Derek Connolly and directed with deadpan wryness by Colin Trevorrow, the movie has a kind of standard Sundance Channel roughness in its look and style, but otherwise it’s hard to pin down: Rom-com? Sci-fi? Satire? Ultimately, it seems hardly to matter, because the movie fairly bulges with quirky hangdog charm—virtually a four-character movie, with Plaza and Duplass meshing particularly well. J.L.

FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

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OR ELSE.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

As an asteroid approaches to destroy the world, a man named Dodge (Steve Carell) and Penny, a neighbor he barely knows (Keira Knightley) set off on a quest to find Dodge’s long-lost sweetheart—and other things they never expected. Writer-director Lorene Scafaria sets up and end-of-days romantic dramedy as Dodge and Penny trek cross-country meeting an odd lot of characters. But the movie runs into trouble because a crucial, intangible ingredient is missing: chemistry between Dodge and Penny—or more to the point, between Carell and Knightley. Nobody’s really to blame; it’s chemistry, and sometimes the magic just doesn’t work. J.L.

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US.

R U O Y T O N

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GYM

Take This Waltz

This second feature from the promising Canadian writer-director Sarah Polley is set in a sunny, vibrantly cozy Toronto, where the complacent marriage between a freelance writer (Michelle Williams) and a cookbook author (Seth Rogen) gets upended by the perfectly available fantasy man (Luke Kirby) who happens to be their neighbor. Making up for strenuously lyrical dialogue and some pat indie quirk, Williams is terrific as usual; it’s a pleasure to see why so many emotionally alert directors find her so inspiring. But Polley can’t quite manage the mature temperament of her previous feature, Away From Her, possibly because that film derived from a supremely disciplined Alice Munro short story, and this one’s an unruly original. It’s too gingerly done, with Rogen’s gift for raunchy realness gone all but unused, and even Sarah Silverman, as a disruptive alcoholic, seeming nearly inert. Not at all a loss; just not enough: the limply dramatized equivalent of an advice-column platitude about choosing self-fulfillment over relationship chaos. J.K.

4

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WEIGHTS CARDIO CLASSES ROCK CLIMBING

Ted

In 1985, a friendless boy wishes that his Christmas teddy bear could come to life and be his friend, and his wish comes true. But by 2012, nothing has changed except their voices; the boy (now played by Mark Wahlberg) and the bear (voice by director and co-writer Seth MacFarlane) haven’t grown up; they just sit around smoking pot and talking trash, and the boy/man’s girlfriend (Mila Kunis) is getting tired of it. MacFarlane’s first feature (he’s the brains behind TV’s Family Guy) just misses being a real classic. The script (co-written by Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild) is raunchy and irreverent, riddled with pop-culture jokes and nonstop laughs; the visual effects are seamless; and there’s a good message about friendship and growing up. Come to think of it, it may turn out to be a classic after all. J.L.

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116 N. 16th St, Sacramento, CA 95811 916.341.0100 www.sacramentopipeworks.com |

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NEED ATTENTION?

Sexy, neurotic, nerdy Chromeo channels seductive ’80s funk—and Woody Allen—at the Launch festival

LET’S NOT GO TO EXTREMES.

Patrick Gemayel admits he’s pretty neurotic.

But here’s the thing, says the Montrealbased musician: So’s his best friend David by Rachel Leibrock Macklovitch. And, over the years, the pair’s channeled those shared anxieties and nervous ra c h e l l @ social tics into its band Chromeo, crafting an ne w s re v i e w . c o m electro-pop sound that’s danceably addled, agitated and sometimes downright paranoid.

“We definitely have that Larry David/ Woody Allen/neurotic-Jew take on funk music,” says Gemayel, the Lebanon-born, Montreal-based Jewish keyboard player better known as P-Thugg.

Photo By AngeLA BoAtwrIght

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40 | SN&R | 07.26.12

Chromeo headlines Launch this Saturday, July 28, with with Chk Chk Chk, DJ Shadow, the Joy Formidable, Sea of Bees and more at Cesar Chavez Plaza, 910 I Street; 11 a.m.; $35; www.launch sacramento.com.

Well, it’s a half-neurotic Jewish take, anyway. Macklovitch—a.k.a. David 1—is a Montreal-born musician of Arab descent (the friends joke often that they’re the “only successful Arab-Jewish partnership since the dawn of human culture”).

On one level, Chromeo is undeniably nerdy. Songs such as “Needy Girl” are built on conversational, lyrical riffs that sound like high-strung and jittery synthesized Woody Allen-esque dialogue. But here, nerdy is sexy, too—the duo’s music pulsates and snakes along liquid bass lines and early ‘80s-styled synth runs. It’s buttery smooth, self-assured, downright seductive.

Chromeo gets sexy and nerdy this Saturday as part of the Launch music and creativearts festival at Cesar Chavez Plaza. Before Chromeo hits the road for its brief West Coast tour, however, they’re holed up in a New York City studio, working on songs for a new album.

The record’s not due out until 2013; it’s challenging, after all, laying down tracks, when the friends live in separate cities. But with Macklovitch, a Ph.D. student in French literature at Columbia University, on break for the summer, and Gemayel taking a vacation from his day job managing Chromeo’s finances and other business affairs, the pair’s set to knock out a new batch of dance-floor-ready tunes.

Those new songs, Gemayel says, represent an attempt to lighten up after 2010’s Business Casual.

“[Business Casual] was moodier,” he says.

“We’re writing this one in the summer—the weather’s prettier, and it’s just coming out a little happier, a little dancier.”

As such, expect more retro grooves—think Daryl Hall and John Oates-styled soul, a little Wild Cherry funk, maybe even a touch of Bronski Beat-era electro-pop.

The music represents the friends’ cumulative musical influences: Gemayel grew up on hip-hop, Macklovitch cut his teeth listening to classic-rock heroes such as Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin.

Friends since the age of 15, the pair met in Montreal when Gemayel approached Macklovitch to play guitar in his new band.

That particular band was “horrible,” Gemayel says now, but served, invaluably, as the launching point for a lifelong friendship built on trading inspirations and combing through the 50-cent record bins for new favorites, including the funk albums that set the tone for the songs they’d eventually write as Chromeo.

That discovery, he says, dramatically changed his musical perspective. “[With funk], you could still play instruments but be hip-hop, too,” he says. “I really got into that.”

Gemayel, who studied guitar as a teen and shared Macklovitch’s admiration for Hendrix and Zeppelin, credits classic rock as an important (if not necessarily obvious) songwriting influence.

“Classic rock had incredible balls,” he says.

“I love Steely Dan, the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac. They were incredible songwriters [in the] way they structured songs. We’re trying to capture that; it’s not just about the funk.”

“ Classic rock had incredible balls.”

Patrick Gemayel Chromeo

On paper, the band’s myriad influences may sound like an unholy hybrid of styles, but Gemayel says it ultimately works because he and Macklovitch never try to stray too far from the core of their personality. You know—kind of nerdy, kind of sexy.

“This wouldn’t be too credible if we were just two dudes from Montreal playing ‘80s-inspired funk music with classic rock—if we sung these songs in the way our idols were singing about the same subjects,” he says.

“To a certain degree, these songs are a reflection of who we are—the bald neurosis.

That’s how we are, that’s how we like to work the microphones.” Ω

SOUND ADVICE

ARE YOU A HEALTHY WOMAN AGE 20-28?

Before you can say ‘Blast off!’

Say yes to Launch: “Sacramento needs a good summer music festival” is one of those gripes I hear almost as often as the No. 1 Sacto Music Scene Gripe of All Time: “There’s just not enough venues in this city.” And nearly as much as gripe No. 2 “There are never any good shows”—you know, for all those venues Sacto doesn’t have.

Anyway, back to the festival thing: Clay Nutting, who’s putting on the Launch Sacramento music-and-arts blowout this week with Michael Hargis, is a good pal. But even if he wasn’t, I’d still be writing about the guy’s single-minded, and perhaps even wildly ambitious, commitment to up Sacto’s creativity quotient.

You see, when people whine about there being no good shows or a festivals or whatever, Nutting just goes and does it. He puts on the Sacramento Electronic Music Festival each year. Plus dozens of gigs via his nonprofit, Concerts 4 Charity.

And now, the fourth year of Launch—with a twist. It’s a weeklong bender this year that culminates on Saturday, July 28, with a bang: B-list headliners Chromeo (see Rachel Leibrock’s feature on the left).

The electro-funk duo will be joined by fellow B- and C-listers DJ Shadow, Grouplove and Chk Chk Chk. Plus, an undercard of touring indie

talent—Gardens & Villa, Future Islands, White Arrows—and locals— Sea of Bees, Appetite, Low Flying Owls. Designers will be erecting some pretty amazing structures and pop-up art galleries. The beer, of course, will flow. And the price to pay is $35 in advance.

Sacto, this is your moment. If the tickets sell like dispensary weed—if you show the hell up (you’re not good at this!)—the city will get a Launch 2013 that’ll invariably up the ante further, with possibly some A-list touring acts to bolster the still burgeoning homegrown talent. Nutting, Hargis and Co. are just that crazy. But someone has to do it.

Anyway, this is how Sacramento will get that big day-on-the-green time music fest: You pay, you go—and then you have takeoff.

King Tuff quickie at Phono Select: This paper comes out on Wednesdays in Midtown, so why not a Midtown Hump Day special? King Tuff will do an in-store gig in the parking lot of everyone’s favorite K Street record store, Phono Select (2312 K Street), at 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday, July 25. The real thing goes down later that night at 8:30 p.m. at Harlow’s (2708 J Street, $6). And, of course, these events are also part of #Launch2012.

The last concert in the park: It wouldn’t be the end of the Friday Night Concerts in the Park season without the Brodys, would it?

Sacto may never know: Verbatim fire-dancing troupe, Hero’s Last Mission, Wrings (who used to be Early States) and the Brody’s will bring the pop rock and say goodbye to Cesar Chavez Plaza this Friday night at 5:30 p.m. There will be no more Play Big Sacramento after this evening, at least for nine months. So, time to go back to playing small.

A very bizarre brunch: On Facebook they’re calling it the most twisted dance party you’ll ever down eggs at.

Which is intriguing—and surely gassy: Food-truck chef Andrew “Drewski” Blaskovitch will exit his kitchen on wheels and make breakfast this Sunday, July 29, at The Republic (908 15th Street) while deejays PeetiV, Gabe Xavier and Louie Giovanni provide the tunes. It’s called Beats and Brunch. I’m reading the online menu now; this could quite possibly be the most hangover-inducing hangover cure of all time. There is a granola parfait, though, for the lightweights.

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—Nick Miller

nickam@newsreview.com

EYE-FI Sacramento live-music scene grabs PHOTO BY STEVEN CHEA

It was a toaster of a weekend for 107.9 FM The End’s annual Endfest; good thing it was indoors, eh? Here’s a shot of Karmin policing the stage.

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EIGHT GIGS

27FRI 27FRI 27FRI 28SAT California State Fair, 8 p.m., $8-$22

—Kel Munger

Rio Ramaza Marina RV & Event Park, noon, $30

The Boardwalk, 8 p.m., $12-$15

Blue Lamp, 9 p.m., $8

Her voice is big, but Joan Jett is pretty small.

So, even though general seating at state-fair shows is free, spring for the $22 seating.

Jett’s been doing guitar-based punkish rock for a long time, but her tough-chick cred has held up, even—especially—for fans who know the Runaways from the 2010 movie.

Backed by her band, the Blackhearts, expect to hear hits—“I Love Rock ’N Roll” ROCK never gets old—and classic rock covers. Jett plays energetic, loud, seriously fun music with attitude. If you don’t think she’s the queen of rock, she won’t cry about it: She’ll kick your ass. Cal Expo,1600 Exposition Boulevard; www.joanjett.com.

Sac Summer Music Fest

The Iron Maidens

Will Haven

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Sacramento’s Will Haven plays a unique hybrid of noise and aggression. On one hand, the group sounds like hardcore punk rock with heavy doses of screamo; but on the other, it could NOISE METAL easily pass for dark, gothic, heavy metal. It toes the line between completely different worlds and creates a distinct sound as aggressive and intense as any group in the punk or metal family. Originally formed in 1997, Will Haven has gone through several personnel and label changes. It broke up in 2002 and reformed in 2005, chugging along ever since, screaming at the top of its lungs.

1400 Alhambra Boulevard, www.facebook.com/willhavenband.

Just one week prior to the real deal arriving at Sleep Train Amphitheatre, Orangevale will get a taste of the Iron Maidens, an all-female tribute to the British metal legends. The gals in this band—playing under such aliases as Bruce Chickinson and Nikki McBurrain—display high-level instrumental skills while remaining faithful to Maiden’s work. In fact, the band METAL recently gigged at Yoshi’s San Francisco, a top-notch Bay-Area music venue. Keep an eye and a protected ear on shredder Courtney Cox (her real name). She has shared the stage with Adrian Belew and George Lynch and goes by the stage name Adriana Smith. 9426 Greenback Lane in Orangevale, www.theironmaidens.com.

—Aaron Carnes

—Paul Piazza

With its high-profile lineup and comically long name, it’s surprising that the Sac Summer Music Fest on the River hasn’t attracted more attention. The two-day festival features headliners Digital Underground (Saturday) and HIP-HOP/REGGAE Ky-Mani Marley (Sunday, pictured), deejays and local openers (Method Echo, Arden Park Roots, Street Urchinz). Whether you want Oakland-based alt-hip-hop on Saturday, reggae-influenced hip-hop from the son of Bob Marley on Sunday, or your favorite local band, there’s plenty of variety here. Tickets are $30 per day, or $50 for both. 10000 Garden Highway, www.facebook.com/sacsummer musicfestontheriver.

—Jonathan Mendick

ThUrSdayS

rocK on live aoKe Kar banicdrocK // 9pm // Free

thursday, july 26

emery

acouSt

thu july 26 9pm $10

mAssive delicious Cd releaSe Show

with guests zuhg & element soul. first 100 people get a free massive delicious cd!

fri july 27 $15

tainted love

thu aug 2 9pm

lindsey pavao fri aug 3 10pm

reminiSCe

r&b & Cult ClassiCs

sat july 28 10pm $15

launCh afterparty with a live dj set by Chromeo sat july 28 10pm

branCheS wed aug 1 7pm $25

paul thorn

sat aug 4 10pm $8 adv

live manikins wed aug 8 7pm $35

ottmAr liebert & lunA neGrA fri aug 10 9pm $12.50 adv

fungo mungo all oriGinal members

Coming Soon

FrI 7/27

Aug 11 Aug 13 Aug 15 Aug 16 Aug 17 Aug 18 Aug 22 Aug 24 Aug 24 Aug 25 Aug 28 Aug 31 Sept 1 Sept 5 Sept 5 Sept 13 Sept 16 Sept 21 Sept 21 Sept 22 Sept 24 Sept 25 Oct 10 Oct 17 Oct 29

hot tar rooF// 9:30pm

Midnight Players Heartless bastards Quinn Hedges Sizzling Sirens Peter Murphy Mother Hips Animal Kingdom/Atlas Genius Dan Curcio Exquisite Corps Hapa Civil twilight Arden Park Roots Gene loves Jezebel Missy Higgins Chelsea Wolfe Growlers Mason Jennings orgone/rubblebucket Catherine Russell Katie Knipp the features (nashville) Matt Schofield the lumineers Star F***er other lives

Dress CoDe enforCeD (Jeans are oK) • Call to reserve Dinner & Club tables

2708 J Street • Sacramento • 916.441.4693 • www.harlows.com 42

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my children my bride

the bennyS erS reggae // FolK rocK SaT 7/28

Stillwood SageS geouS george gor rocK // 9pm TUES 7/31

happy hour live muSic SerieS 5:30pm // Free

mic acouStic open 8pm // Free talent ShowcaSe //

friday, july 27

the iron maidens restrayned - bad boy eddy desendant - eulogy

saturday, july 28

prylosis

two nooses - lost freedom keeping score - sour diesel

tuesday, august 14

polarization

mouth of the serpent - malevolent awaiting the apocalypse - gentlemen behold! - as

saturday, august 18

wEd 8/1

live muSic

riff/raff

9pm

ticKetS now on Sale For these upcoming shows at www.marilynsonk.com $3 TallbOy Pbr

to speak of wolves - paint over pictures every hand betrayed - late night in town

UPCOMING EVENTS:

grahame lesh & Friends

alexander nelson (oF walking spanish)

zeparella

908 K Street // 916.446.4361

++Free parking aFter 6pm with validation @ 10th & l garage+

high voltage tribute to ac/dc love drive - rue the night

wednesday, august 22

12 stones

edisun - fair struggle

thursday, august 23

pat travers band

larisa bryski - the hunter & the wolf island of black & white

28SAT 29SUN 29SUN 29SUN Experimental Open Mic

City of Vain

—Steph Rodriguez

Center for the Arts, 8 p.m., $45-$50

Harlow’s, 8 p.m., $10

Coffee-shop open-mics aren’t usually the best place for experimental musicians to cut their teeth. Fortunately, the Haven Underground is hosting an experimentalnoise open-mic this Sunday, NOISE where the emphasis is on weird instruments, strange effect pedals (pictured), bizarre technology and just plain noise. This was designed with weirdo-instrument tinkerers in mind, so acoustic guitars are not encouraged, unless, as the organizers state, “you’ve rigged it as a midi controller.” After everyone’s taken their turn showing off noisy craziness, there will be a big, open noise jam, which should prove to be loud and off-the-wall. 226 Broad Street in Nevada City, www.havenunderground.org.

Whether performing in front of a massive Friday Night Concerts in the Park crowd alongside bands like 7Seconds, or among close friends at more intimate venues such as The Press Club, punk outfit City of Vain continues to emit high-energy rock during every performance. What’s intriguing about this group is the addition of organ provided by Minh Quan, giving the music a unique appeal. This is City of Vain’s homecoming show from touring the PUNK Golden State with Irish band Hooligan. It also features Old Glory. Be sure to give the guys a proper Sacramento welcome home. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard, www.cityofvain.bandcamp.com.

Shawn Colvin

Branches

Haven Underground, 8 p.m., no cover

Blue Lamp, 9 p.m., $10

If you missed Los Angeles’ Branches back in March at Naked Lounge Downtown, here’s a chance to redeem yourself. This five-piece band captures an indie feel, comparable to Arcade Fire’s Funeral album, coalesced with twangy mandolin and entrancing highlights of xylophone showcasing folk and Americana cores. Branches’ music even received airtime with the songs “Maps of INDIE ROCK Wars” and “Sleeper” both appearing on the television show One Tree Hill. And in February, the guys—and gal—of Branches released their first fulllength album Thou Art the Dream, a body of work that encapsulates feelings of love and also a bit of loneliness throughout 13 songs.

2708 J Street, www.branchesmusic.com.

—Aaron Carnes

—Rachel Leibrock

—Steph Rodriguez

ACE OF SPADES THURSDAY, JULY 26

These days, singer Shawn Colvin is probably best known (to a mainstream audience, anyway) as the person to whom Ol’ Dirty Bastard gave the Kanye West treatment at the 1998 Grammy awards. His beef?

Puff Daddy’s win over the Wu-Tang POP Clan earlier in the night. Stolen spotlight aside, Colvin remains a compelling performer. Songs such as “Shotgun Down the Avalanche” and “Sunny Came Home” (ODB interrupted Colvin’s Grammy acceptance speech for this song’s Song of the Year award) reveal an expert crafter of folk-pop that resonates emotional depth, intellectual acuity and an aching, bittersweet beauty.

314 W. Main Street in Grass Valley, www.shawncolvin.com.

1417 R Street, Sacramento, 95814 www.aceofspadessac.com

ALL AGES WELCOME!

LAUNCH X SEMF

SUPER DIAMOND

SAC ELECTRONIC MUSIC FEST

OOOOO - DUSTY BROWN - WHO CARES - LITTLE FOXES YOUNG AUNDEE - DJ WHORES - E SQUARED

FRIDAY, JULY 27

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

DEMON HUNTER BLEEDING THROUGH - CANCER BATS SUNDAY, JULY 29

ATTACK ATTACK!

THE WORLD ALIVE A SKYLIT DRIVE I SEE STARS WINDS OF PLAGUE - STICK TO YOUR GUNS - ATTILA FOR THE FALLEN DREAMS - STRAY FROM THE PATH MAKE ME FAMOUS - BETRAYING THE MARTYRS OBEY THE BRAVE - ICE NINE KILLS

WE CAME AS ROMANS WOE, IS ME - ABANDON ALL SHIPS - TEXAS IN JULY IN FEAR AND FAITH - SECRETS - GLASS CLOUD - AT THE SKYLINES

TUESDAY, AUGUST 7

LOSTPROPHETS CHERRI BOMB - ALLINADAY

TUESDAY, JULY 31

KOTTONMOUTH KINGS BIG B - PROZAK

SOON

8/18

Stepchild

8/19

Strung Out

8/21

Chiddy Bang

8/24 Gift of Gab 8/25 Full Blown Stone

MONDAY, AUGUST 6

THE PLOT IN YOU - WILLOWS

COMING

SATURDAY, AUGUST 4

8/26

Saving Abel

9/2

The Melvins

9/3

Against Me

9/5

Powerman 5000

9/6

Buckethead

9/8

Rehab

9/10

Black Audio

9/11

The Fresh & Onlys

9/14

Anthrax/Testament

9/20

Tomorrows Bad Seeds

9/24 Kreator 9/27

Hatebreed

10/6

Zion-I

10/10 Steve Vai

FRIDAY, AUGUST 17

10/11 D.R.I

GREAT WHITE

FRIDAY, AUGUST 3

Y&T END OF DAYS - DEADLANDS - SUCKER PUNCH

10/13 Morbid Angel 10/23 Motion City Soundtrack 10/24 Alesana 11/9

FASTER PUSSYCAT - PRETTY BOY FLOYD BULLET BOYS

Blue October

11/14 Minus The Bear

Tickets available at all Dimple Records Locations, The Beat Records, and Armadillo Records, or purchase by phone @ 916.443.9202 BEFORE

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ARTS&CULTURE

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NIGHTBEAT List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

THURSDAY 7/26

FRIDAY 7/27

SATURDAY 7/28

SUNDAY 7/29

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 7/30-8/1

BADLANDS

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

Tipsy Thursdays, Top 40 deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover

Fabulous and Gay Fridays, 9pm, call for cover

Saturday Boom, 9pm, call for cover

Sin Sunday, 8pm, call for cover

Mad Mondays, 9pm M; Latin video flair and Wii bowling, 7pm Tu

BLUE LAMP

Scratchpad Sacramento, 9pm, no cover

WILL HAVEN, BLACK MACKEREL, JOURNAL; 8pm, $8

CITY OF VAIN, HOOLIGAN, OLD GLORY; 9pm, $10

FOREVER GOLDRUSH, SHERMAN BAKER, SUN VALLEY GUN CLUB; 6pm, $8

THE BOARDWALK

EMERY, MY CHILDREN MY BRIDE,

IRON MAIDENS, RESTRAYNED, BAD BOY EDDY, DESCENDANT, EULOGY; 8pm, $15

PRYLOSIS, TWO NOOSES, SOUR DIESEL, LOST FREEDOM; 7pm, $10-$12

BOWS AND ARROWS

SHANNON CURTIS, PARIE WOOD; 8pm, $5

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 TO SPEAK OF WOLVES; 6:30pm 1815 19 St., (916) 822-5668

THE CAVE

RICHIE LAWRENCE & THE YOLOS, Q & A; 8pm, $5 T.H.I.E.F, SEACATS, LOST FREEDOM, SAINT JAMES BAND; 8pm, $5

3512 Stockton Blvd., (916) 317-9999

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

LEO KOTTKE, 8pm, $30-$35

THE COZMIC CAFĂ&#x2030;

Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS, 10pm, $10

DISTRICT 30

DJs Sultan, Ned Shepard and Kontrol Freqs, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Panic City, 9pm, call for cover

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384 594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481 1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

FACES

Deejay dancing and karaoke, 9pm, $3

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

FOX & GOOSE

ELEMENT OF SOUL, AMY BLEU; 8pmmidnight, no cover

JAY SHANER, HANS EBERBACH; 9pmmidnight, $5

THE SCARVES, DOG TOWN SERENADERS, MANDOLIN AVENUE; 9pm, $5

GILLIAN UNDERWOOD, BLEEDIN HEARTS; 10pm, no cover

DJ Alazzawi, 10pm-1:15am, no cover

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

G STREET WUNDERBAR 228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

CHROMEO, 10pm, $15

JAVALOUNGE

THE DIVA KINGS, THE HEY NOWS, MIKE MENDICOTT; 8pm, $5

STANDING & STARING, SPIRIT OF SAINT LOUIS; 8pm, $5

ASTRAL CULT, 4pm, $5; HOPELESS JACK LA FIN ABSOLUTE DU MONDE, & THE HANDSOME DEVILS, 8:30pm KNOTTED CORD; 8pm, $5

LUNAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CAFĂ&#x2030; & JUICE BAR

Joe Montoyaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

ORENDA BLU, SCARVES; 8:30pm, $5

DAVID HOUSTON & STRING THEORY, 9pm, $6

Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M, $5-$20; Comedy night, 8pm W, $6

MARILYNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON K

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rock Onâ&#x20AC;? Live Band Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

THE BENNYS, HOT TAR ROOFERS; 9:30pm, no cover

STILLWOOD SAGES, 9pm, $5

THE HUNTER AND THE WOLF, 9pm W, $5

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN

THE SPEAK LOW, ARTIE DORAME, EMILY Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;NEIL; 8:30pm, $5

THE SHANTS, BUFFALO! BUFFALO!, GOOD BLOOD; 8:30pm, $5

NORTHBOUND TRAIN, TJ MCNULTY; 8:30pm, $5

Jazz session, 8:30pm M; INFINITY WRITER, GHOST ANIMALS; 8:30pm Tu, $5

OLD IRONSIDES

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504

THE MARK SEXTON BAND, THE INSIDE STORY, LOW TIDE RIOT; 9pm, $7

DONNER, WHITE WALLS, SOUTHLOT; 9pm, $5

MOOT, PENJULA; 9pm, $5

THE NUANCE, 7:30pm M; Karaoke, 9pm Tu; Open-mic, 8:30pm W, no cover

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Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; ECHO CHARLIE, MAINLAND; 8pm W

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Queer Idol, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5; DJ Alazzawi, 9pm W, $3

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DANIEL CASTRO, 9pm, $15

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Open-mic comedy, 9pm M; Jam with Dave Channell, 7pm Tu; Trivia, 7pm W

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Top 40 w/ DJ Rue, 9pm, $5

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Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover, $5 after 8pm

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Comedy open-mic, 8pm M; Bluebird Lounge open-mic, 5pm Tu, no cover

ISLAND OF BLACK & WHITE, 9pm Tu, $4; HOWELL DEVINE, 9pm W, $5 Open-mic, 9pm M, no cover; Grimey, 9pm Tu, $5

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ATTACK ATTACK!, WE CAME AS ROMANS, WOE, IS ME; 3:30pm, $25

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MAD JUDY, FOOLS RUSH, THE COMMUNITY, THE BAR FLY EFFECT; 7:30pm, $5

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BEFORE

KOTTONMOUTH KINGS, BIG B, PROZAK; 6:30pm Tu, $20

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SWEET PUPS, BALLANTYNES, BACKSEAT LOVERS, NACHO BUSINESS; 8:30pm

VOMETTES, TEENAGE BURRITOS, CROISSANTS, ARMANDO RIVERA; 8pm M, $5

CLARK REESE, YOGA LIFESTYLE BAND, Instrument Petting Zoo; 1pm, no cover

Open-mic, 6-8pm Tu, no cover

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46 | SN&R | 07.26.12

Aug. 18th - Naked Man Sept. 13-16th - Nudestock Music Festival

Where there’s smoke What happens if the city changes its medical-marijuana ordinance?

Maybe it was imprudent and naive to think that, back in November 2010, when city council passed its medical-cannabis dispensary ordinance, the future would be bright for by Nick Miller marijuana in Sacramento.

At that point in time, it felt like the worst was behind nic kam@ the Sacto medical-pot community. And that sky-high news re view.c om was the limit.

Plus, the community had already endured decades of prohibition and eight years of President George W. Bush.

Even 2010 was rough for a while: The local climate evolved from one with a semi-hostile City Hall, which wanted to limit the number of dispensaries to a “baked dozen,” to a welcome council that rubber-stamped both an ordinance and also a 4 percent dispensary tax. It was a sea change in a matter of months.

Oh, what a difference a federal intervention makes.

So, perhaps one shouldn’t be surprised to learn that city officials currently are considering some major, possibly damning-to-the-pot-community changes to its ordinance.

Four council members on the city’s law-and-legislation committee intended to meet this past Tuesday, July 24, at 3 p.m., to discuss the federal government’s 10-month-old crackdown on medical marijuana in California (SN&R watched the meeting, but could not report in time for deadline). Councilman Jay Schenirer requested this sit-down, which will also include an update on the city’s permitting process; it’s currently frozen through November 2013, because of state-court cases that might impact its legality.

But the big decisions on the table are: 1. whether the city will ban outdoor cultivation in residential areas; and 2. will it increase the proximity requirement between a dispensary and a sensitive use, such as a school or a church, from 600 feet to 1,000 feet.

Medical-pot advocates, such as Americans for Safe Access, argue that banning outdoor cultivation will simply harm the individual patient trying to home grow some buds.

Meanwhile, city officials, in particular Councilwoman Sandy Sheedy, view the outdoor grows as a negative in neighborhoods.

SN&R contacted the city police department to see what kind of complaints and issues there were with outdoor grows in residential areas.

Growing outdoors could become more popular than ever, too, if the city changes its rules on a dispensary’s proximity to sensitive uses. This could force a majority of the city’s remaining 18 clubs to move or even shut down.

The current ordinance allows for 600 feet from sites such as schools, school bus stops, etc. But the feds—and even some legislators at the state level—have rebuffed these buffers. Which is why council will likely make this switch to 1,000 feet.

It’s possible that all 18 existing medical-cannabis dispensaries in the city would have to find new homes if this rule does indeed change.

Despite this, city revenue manager Brad Wasson told SN&R last week that business is “status quo” with the dispensaries—or, basically, the city hopes nothing changes. It is taking in about $100,000 a month from the 4 percent tax, he said.

Yet, as with anything medical-cannabis related, it perhaps is shortsighted to think one can see through the smoke. Ω

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IT’S WORTH THE DRIVE!

by ROB BREZSNY

FOR THE WEEK OF JULY 26, 2012

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In your

personal chart, the planet Uranus symbolizes those special talents you have that are especially useful to other people. Which aspects of your soulful beauty are potentially of greatest service to the world? How can you express your uniqueness in ways that activate your most profound generosity? If you learn the answers to these questions, you will make great progress toward solving the riddle that Uranus poses. I’m happy to report that the coming years will provide you with excellent opportunities to get to the bottom of this mystery. And now would be a good time to launch a concerted effort.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the

coming weeks, I’m afraid there’s only a very small chance that you’ll be able to turn invisible at will, shapeshift into an animal form and back, or swipe the nectar of immortality from the gods. The odds of success are much higher, though, if you will attempt less ambitious tasks that are still pretty frisky and brazen. For example, you could germinate a potential masterpiece where nothing has ever grown. You could legally steal from the rich and give the spoils to the poor. And you could magically transform a long-stuck process that no one thought would ever get unstuck.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Are there are any weaknesses or problems in your approach to communication? They will be exposed in the coming weeks. If you’re even slightly lazy or devious about expressing yourself, you will have to deal with the karmic consequences of that shortcoming.

If there’s more manipulativeness than love in your quest for connection, you’ll be compelled to do some soul-searching. That’s the bad news, Gemini. The good news is that you will have far more power than usual to upgrade the way you exchange energy with others. In fact, this could be the time you enter into a golden age of communication.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

If you narrow your focus now, the world will really open up for you in the second half of October and November. To the degree that you impose limitations on your desire to forever flow in all directions, you will free up creative ideas that are currently buried. So summon up some tough-minded discipline, please. Refuse to let your moodiness play havoc with your productivity. Dip into your reserve supply of high-octane ambition so you will always have a sixth sense about exactly what’s important and what’s not.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The state of Maine

has a law that prohibits anyone from leaving an airplane while it is flying through the air. This seems like a reasonable restriction until you realize how badly it discriminates against skydivers. Legal scholars will tell you that examples like this are not at all rare. Laws tend to be crude, one-size-fitsall formulations. And, as I’m sure you’ve discovered in your travels, Leo, one-sizefits-all formulations always squash expressions of individuality. In the coming weeks, be extra alert for pressures to conform to overly broad standards and sweeping generalizations. Rebel if necessary. You have license to be yourself to the 10th power.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I propose that

you try to accomplish the following cleanup projects in the next four weeks: 10 bushels of weeds yanked out of your psychic landscape; 25 pounds of unused stuff and moldering junk hauled away from your home; 10 loads of dirty laundry (especially the metaphorical kind) washed free of taint and stains—and not blabbed about on social media; at least $5,000 worth of weird financial karma scrubbed away for good; a forgotten fence mended; and a festering wound tended to until it heals.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Philosopher

William Irwin Thompson says that we humans are like flies creeping along the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. We literally cannot see the splendor that surrounds us.

As a result, we don’t live in reality. We’re lost in our habitual perceptions, blinded by our favorite illusions and addicted to beliefs that hide the true nature of the universe.

That’s the bad news, Libra. The good news

BEFORE

|

15 MINUTES

by KEL

MUNGER PHOTO COURTESY OF UC DAVIS

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

is that every now and then, each of us slips into a grace period when it’s possible to experience at least some of the glory we’re normally cut off from. The veil opens, and previously undetected beauty appears. The weeks ahead will be the closest you’ve come to this breakthrough in a long time.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Can you

guess which European country has the best military record in the last eight centuries?

It’s France. Out of the 185 battles its soldiers have engaged in, they’ve won 132 and lost only 43. Ten times they fought to a draw. Of all the signs of the zodiac, Scorpio, I think you have the best chance of compiling a comparable record in the next 10 months. Your warriorlike qualities will be at a peak; your instinct for achieving hardfought victories may be the stuff of legends years from now. But please keep in mind what the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu said in his iconic text The Art of War: The smart and powerful warrior always avoids outright conflict if possible and wins by using slyer means.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

After consulting the astrological omens, I’ve concluded that during the next three weeks, you will deserve the following titles: 1. Most Likely to Benefit From Serendipitous Adventures; 2. Most Likely to Exclaim “Aha!”; 3. Most Likely to Thrive While Wandering in Wild Frontiers and Exotic Locales; 4. Most Likely to Have a Wish Come True if This Wish Is Made in the Presence of a Falling Star. You might want to wait to fully embody that fourth title until the period between August 9 and 14, when the Perseids meteor shower will be gracing the night skies with up to 170 streaks per hour.

The peak flow will come on August 12 and 13.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

You may have to travel far and wide before you will fully appreciate a familiar resource whose beauty you’re half-blind to. It’s possible you’ll have to suffer a partial loss of faith so as to attract experiences that will make your faith stronger than it ever was.

And I’m guessing that you may need to slip outside your comfort zone for a while in order to learn what you need to know next about the arts of intimacy. These are tricky assignments, Capricorn. I suggest you welcome them without resentment.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

My daughter Zoe has been writing some fine poetry these last few years. I regard it as professional-grade stuff that has been born of natural talent and developed through discipline and hard work. You might ask, quite reasonably, whether my evaluation of her literary output is skewed by fatherly pride. I’ve considered that possibility. But recently, my opinion got unbiased corroboration when her school awarded her with the All-College Honors for her poetry manuscript. I predict you will soon have a comparable experience. Your views or theories will be confirmed by an independent and objective source.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The critic

Dorothy Parker didn’t think highly of Katherine Hepburn’s acting skills. “She runs the emotional gamut from A to B,” said Parker. I realize that what I’m about to suggest may be controversial, but I’m hoping you will be Hepburn-like in the coming week, Pisces. This is not the right time, in my astrological opinion, for you to entertain a wide array of slippery, syrupy, succulent feelings. Nor would it be wise to tease out every last nuance of the beguiling vibes rising up within you. For the time being, you need to explore the pleasures of discerning perception and lucid analysis. Get lost in deep thought, not rampant passion.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required.

Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

FRONTLINES

|

FEATURE

The body politic The recent increase in legislation to restrict access to abortion and contraception sent SN&R looking for an expert about this decades-long controversy. Carole Joffe is a professor emerita of sociology at UC Davis who has specialized in studying abortionrights and reproductive-health issues. She’s written several books on the topic, including her most recent, Dispatches From the Abortion Wars: The Costs of Fanaticism to Doctors, Patients, and the Rest of Us.

Why are abortion and contraception still such hot-button topics?

One answer is that it works politically. Most Americans don’t agree, certainly, with the war on contraception, and even those who don’t approve personally of abortion don’t want it to be illegal, so the question is, why is it still such an issue? Contraception has been used by more than 98 percent of American women. It’s normal and accepted. So the question really is, why would opposing abortion and contraception be a successful political strategy?

A lot of the answer has to do with voting patterns. We are a low-voter-turnout country. In presidential elections, it’s considered a good year if we get around 60 percent of voters to turn out. It’s even lower in nonpresidential years. But the people who oppose abortion—including the ultraextreme anti-abortion people who also oppose contraception—are very, very committed and motivated. They always vote.

So that means that the people who will always vote are the people who care very deeply about these issues. To be a successful Republican these days, you must not only be anti-abortion, you must be extremely anti-abortion. ...

The other thing is that discussions [about] abortion and contraception make

STORY

|

A RT S & C U LT U R E

people very uncomfortable. Compared to other industrialized Western nations, we’re very uncomfortable with talking about sex; we don’t have very good sex education in the [United States], and it leaves us at a loss when we should be discussing these issues sensibly. After all, we live in a country where elected legislators can be silenced for saying “vagina”!

How did we get to a place where contraception is up for debate?

It was the result of a very determined campaign, starting with emergency contraception. That term is used to refer to what some people call the morning-after pill. For a long time, the understanding in the medical community has been that emergency contraception prevents ovulation, but it’s hard to prove a negative, so scientists couldn’t completely rule out that it prevented implantation. That meant that the possibility of preventing implantation was included in the labeling, and so this allowed many people in the anti-abortion camp to say, “Oh, it’s an abortifacient.”

Now, of course, there is far more certainty that this is not the case, and the [U.S. Food and Drug Administration] labeling has finally been changed, but this history as been confusing and has allowed the envelope to be pushed farther and farther in the war against contraception.

So we’ve got built-in problems, like American’s discomfort with talking about abortion and contraception, on top of political opposition.

And the reframing of the provision of these services as an attack on religious liberty. The Obama administration is saying that under |

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the Affordable Care Act, insurance providers should pay for a certain number of prevention services: mammograms, cancer screenings and so on. And contraception is, by definition, also a prevention service; it prevents unwanted pregnancies. There seemed to be a compromise between the Obama administration and Catholic institutions about providing contraceptive services to their employees, but now it has broken down, even though the administration took steps to make sure that these Catholic employers would not be directly paying for those services.

How can we keep our reproductive rights— including the right to carry unplanned pregnancies to term if we choose?

I have another V-word for you, and that’s vote. That’s the main thing that can be done.

In the Bay Area, the legislators are very prochoice, and California is a very pro-choice state, but some of your readers live in areas with Republican representatives who have very conservative records on these issues.

I’d point to [House Resolution 358], which was introduced in January 2011, the so-called Protect Life Act. This was among the first pieces of legislation introduced in the new Republican congress of 2011, and it said that hospitals are not compelled to offer an abortion to women in a life-threatening situation.

The legislators who voted for it are on record as saying “We don’t care if women die.” I suggest that women—and the men who love them—go to the congressmen and women who voted for this act and say, “Do you want me or my wife or my daughter to die because of this bill? Would you want your wife, mother, daughter or mine to die because of this?”

The “new normal” is that it’s become OK to vote for something that will let women die. My advice is to hold them accountable. Ω

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