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Nevada Wolf Pack

makes it iNto the Fantastic Four!

see also:

• space whale now food • Trump: “coal=money” • JournalisT sucks fooT

s e rv i n g n o rt h e r n n e va d a , ta h o e a n d t r u c k e e

EMAil lETTERs To RENolETTERs@NEwsREviEw.CoM.

Bodie notes Funny bones Welcome to this week’s Reno News & Review. When we were preparing for our annual April Fools’ Day issue two years ago, we decided to include a story with the headline, “Newspaper decides against publishing annual April Fools’ Day issue because satire is dead.” We sat around the newsroom joking about how it’s got to be hard for publications like the Onion to stay relevant when the real news is so much stranger than anything a person could make up. I think that’s more true now than ever. In fact, I kind of wish we’d waited until this year to run that story.

At any rate, I hope you enjoy this annual edition of the paper. We certainly have fun with it—though I don’t consider myself funny. I’ve got what I think of as an NPRtype sense of humor, think A Prairie Home Companion. I think my colleagues, however, are pretty funny. I laughed aloud a few times reading their stories, and I hope you will too. We’ve included a bit of something for everyone, poking fun at issues both local and national.

My friends who know that the paper does an annual April Fools’ Day issue have also been pitching me their funny story ideas. They were all funnier than mine, but I didn’t use any of them because if felt like cheating. One friend suggested the story “Tesla and SpaceX pioneer Elon Musk teams up with Reno City Council and announces plan to return Space Whale to space.” Another suggested a story about midtown sidewalks, which he thinks will take up most of the street when construction is finished.

None of my story ideas were that good. Maybe it’s because I love Reno too much to make any good jabs at it. I think it’s because some people, myself included, just aren’t funny.

—Jeri Chadwell je ric @ ne wsreview . com

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Re “Bodie” (cover story, March 21): Nary a mention of the effort made by volunteers last Fall to remove old fencing, trash and weeds; nor of the other Eastern Sierra conservation organizations that encourage thoughtful enjoyment. People live there! BodieHills.org With a cover photo and short tourism blurb about this “genuine” ghost town (there are many, many in Nevada) RN&R is encouraging off-roaches, plinkers, and artifact poachers to partake in the usual, out-of-state. Stick to Virginny City.

Cliff Callahan Sun Valley Editor’s note: We are not encouraging anything, but the State of California is.

Bodie has been a state park for nearly six decades and was abandoned for most of the 1950s before that. The annual tourist traffic has now risen to about 200,000 people a year. So between the periods of abandonment and its life as a state park, we would suggest the town has probably been picked clean of artifacts and that your quarrel is with California for encouraging Bodie tourism.

Re “Bodie” (cover story, March 21): I loved the Bodie article because it triggered a flashback to the winter of 1971/72 when I lived at Bodie as part of the restoration crew. I was living in Bishop working for CDF that winter when a representative from the Cal State Parks showed up to ask for volunteers to spend at least a month at Bodie to do restoration work on the structures there.

Being a young adventurous rock climber/ mountaineer (I was 22) I said, “Why not, I’ll go.”

That was one of the coldest times I ever experienced because the winter winds blow across that high, desolate desert area without anything to temper them. At 8,400

Jessica Santina, Todd South, Luka Starmer, Bruce Van Dyke, Ashley Warren, Allison Young Our Mission: To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare.

To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Editor Brad Bynum Associate Editor Jeri Chadwell News Editor Dennis Myers Special Projects Editor Matt Bieker Calendar Editor Kelley Lang Contributors Amy Alkon, Kris Vagner, Bob Grimm, Andrea Heerdt, Holly Hutchings, Shelia Leslie, Josie Glassberg, Eric Marks,

Creative Services Manager Elisabeth Bayard Arthur Art Directors Maria Ratinova, Sarah Hansel Publications Designer Katelynn Mitrano Publications & Advertising Designer Nikki Exerjian Ad Designer Naisi Thomas, Cathy Arnold Office Manager Lisa Ryan RN&R Rainmaker Gina Odegard Advertising Consultant Latricia Huston

maRch

feet elevation, you’d think Bodie is a settlement in Siberia in the winter. But the work was fun, and the camaraderie was fun. Back in those good old days we’d take some R&R and go get au natural at Hot Creek near Mammoth back before the uptight “textiles” ruined the place.

I used to own some large format full color original photos of Bodie that were done by Cole Weston, son of Edward Weston. The photos showed some of the gnarly structures I worked on. I lost those photos to my first divorce. They’d be worth a fortune now.

Jeff Middlebrook Truckee

Neon notes Re “Liar Cohen vs. liar Trump” (Notes from the Neon Babylon, March 14): It is time to fire Bruce Van Dyke. The first sentence of his piece has the “f” word, and he writes it’s “too late to stop now.”

Hate speech is prohibited by most media mission statements. Some believe hate speech can incite violence. I have read other letters to the editor of the RN&R saying B.V.D. should go.

If you don’t have the courage yourself to let him go, take a poll of your readers. Maybe that will help you to do the right thing.

J. Austin Reno You published my December 21, 2017 letter to the editor saluting Bruce Van Dyke for keeping his focus on the travails of Mr. Trump for one-year straight. Well, it is now the end of March, 2019 and Mr. Van Dyke has not let up! He deserves a primo journalism award (even though, I’m sure, he could care less).

We would all be done with Trump now if we had half of Van Dyke’s abilities, energies, and focus. He is RN&R’s greatest asset (among many). I can’t wait for this

Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Manager Bob Christensen Distribution Drivers Alex Barskyy, Corey Sigafoos, Gary White, Joe Wilson, Marty Troye, Timothy Fisher, Vicki Jewell, Olga Barska, Rosie Martinez, Adam Martinez, Duane Johnson President/CEO Jeff VonKaenel Director of Nuts & Bolts Deborah Redmond Director of People & Culture David Stogner Director of Dollars & Sense Debbie Mantoan Nuts & Bolts Ninja Norma Huerta Payroll/AP Wizard Miranda Hansen Accounts Receivable Specialist Analie Foland

Sweetdeals Coordinator Reid Fowler Developer John Bisignano System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins N&R Publications Managing Editor Laura Hillen N&R Publications Editorial Team Anne Stokes, Caroline Harvey, Thea Rood Marketing & Publications Consultants Steve Caruso, Joseph Engle, Elizabeth Morabito, Traci Hukill, Celeste Worden, Greta Beekhuis Cover design Maria Ratinova

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Trump fiasco to end so Van Dyke can turn his abilities to the other major problems of the world and nation—climate change, reducing the gun carnage, nuclear proliferation, etc. These will keep Van Dyke super busy, and we will all be the recipients of his talents.

How about publishing a book of all of Mr. Van Dyke’s columns dealing with Trump? It would be a good review and a good read. It really is quite an achievement.

Thank you, RN&R. You make my week every week.

Richard T. Bissett Sparks

conTenTS

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opiNioN/sTREETAlk shEilA lEsliE NEws TAhoE fEATuRE ARTs&CulTuRE ART of ThE sTATE filM food MusiCBEAT NighTCluBs/CAsiNos This wEEk AdviCE goddEss fREE will AsTRology 15 MiNuTEs BRuCE vAN dykE

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by Sherry Chafewell

Thoughts about dogs? asKeD aT miss KiTTy’s saLoon, 410 FronT sT., DoDGe CiTy

GinGer Tabby Lawyer

In some cases you’re not even sure if it’s a dog. It’s like, “Is that a rat?” “No, it’s my chihuahua!” Or “Is that a mop you’ve got there?” And they’re like, “No, it’s my Bergamasco shepherd!” Give me a break.

Tom CaTanburG Construction worker

My ex-girlfriend had this dog, a yappy, little thing. And it humped everything, I mean everything—not just my leg.

Humped my pillow. One time, I caught it humping my work boots. Always with this sorta stupid look on its face, too.

GeorGe mouser

Getting around euphemisms Chinese saying, sometimes attributed to Confucius: “The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right name.”

The Washoe County School District last month put on a public relations offensive to regain some lost ground with the public. As part of it, Superintendent Traci Davis did a round of interviews with various media entities. Though the Reno Gazette Journal did not make anything of it, one section of Davis’s interview with the RGJ jumped out at us.

She said this about the district’s “digital days”: “When people use words like illegal, the state never said that. That was the media using those terms.”

Public officials often talk in code. They must navigate various interest groups and try not to be confrontational or adversarial. As a result, unfortunately, the public often has no idea when something serious is coming to a head because official verbiage has soft-pedaled it.

It is one of the duties of journalists to put the right name on things when public figures talk in code.

At times, that duty has been of great moment. In 1962, President Kennedy said he was throwing a quarantine around Cuba. He used the euphemism because a blockade was an act of war and illegal under international law.

Journalists called it what it was—a blockade.

Unfortunately, sometimes journalists fail in that function.

In 2002, when trauma center doctors went on strike in Las Vegas, local journalists failed to use the term strike.

As best we could tell, only one Las Vegas article used it, and that was buried deep in the story on the jump page.

Even when an angry Clark County commissioner used the term, only an out-of-region newspaper—the Los Angeles Times—quoted her. There may have been usages we missed, but most coverage definitely followed the leaders.

In 1990, former billionaire Donald Trump’s profligate spending ($160 a minute!), growing debts and inability to pay his bills had New Jersey gambling regulators considering revoking his casino licensing and forcing the sale of his casinos. Then as now, his public statements could not be trusted, but an independent appraisal of his supposed empire presented at a hearing of the Casino Control Commission made clear to the financial analysts present and to financially savvy reporters that Trump was facing bankruptcy. One such reporter, David Cay Johnston, later wrote that the commission took a break after the report to rehearse “the answer to the next question … to convey the idea of bankruptcy without saying the word, which Trump had prohibited. ... Subtle wording would pass over the heads of most journalists.” According to Johnston’s The Making of Donald Trump, only two reporters used the term bankruptcy in their coverage of the hearing. The rest withheld essential information from dozen of vendors in Trump’s hotels and from investors in dozens of banks on three continents and from the banks themselves who were lined up like planes on a runway waiting for information from the hearing to decide whether to step in and save Trump with loans.

In the case Traci Davis discussed, the state superintendent did say that digital days are illegal. He just didn’t use that term. So journalists did, and it informed the public. Ω

Retiree

You’ve got to walk them. If I want to stay fit, I’ll go to the gym. And I don’t want have to take a pooper scooper with me.

bob CaTaway Biologist

I can’t stand the way people baby talk to them—cooing and crooning. It’s canis lupus familiaris, not your furry baby. It’s a dog—all it needs to know is “Sit, stay, lie down, roll over,” not “Who’s mommy’s precious, little fur baby?

You are!” You’re not setting aside money for your dog’s college eduction, am I right?

KiT T y PurinGTon Mail carrier

I know what you’re thinking I’m going to say. I’m the mail lady, and so it’s natural that I don’t like dogs, and they don’t like me. No! Nope. That’s not it. It’s all the stupid clothes people dress them in. I don’t care if your Labrador’s a “big ’49ers fan” or if your rat terrier is “hot to trot.”

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Our mission is to publish great newspapers which are successful and enduring, create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow while respecting personal welfare, and to have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live. If you want to make a difference and do something that matters then keep reading.

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by SHEILA LESLIE

Women speak for themselves this time Every legislative session has a moment or two of sparkling dialogue that perfectly encapsulates the difference between the two major parties. In 2017, it was the moment when an “English Only” bill was introduced in the Nevada Assembly by Republican Assemblymember Richard McArthur. Democratic Leader Teresa Benitez-Thompson referred it to committee in perfect Spanish.

This year’s moment arrived last week in the Senate Health and Human Services Committee during a hearing on Senate Bill 179, a bill that removes criminal penalties related to abortion and updates the informed consent provisions in Nevada statutes. Republican Sen. Scott Hammond objected to eliminating the requirement that a doctor ask a woman if she is married, saying “As a father, you want to ask so it makes her think for a second about the consequences she’s undertaking.

I think it’s really relevant, if not medically relevant. This is a highly-charged event in somebody’s life.” The bill’s sponsor,

Democratic Sen. Yvanna Cancela, ignored the insulting inference that women cannot think for themselves and calmly pointed out “It is not the doctor’s duty to inform a partner of a woman’s decision. The same kind of requirement is not put into any other procedure. A man is not asked his marital status before he gets a vasectomy.”

Cancela’s bill updates state reproductive rights by decriminalizing abortion, including removing penalties for women who self-induce an abortion, an act that is currently a category B felony. It also updates the informed consent provisions by deleting the requirement that doctors explain the “emotional” implications of an abortion, leaving medical communication and support where it belongs, in the privacy of the doctor-patient relationship, as in any other medical procedure.

SB179 lines up nicely with a 1990 voter-approved referendum to protect reproductive rights in state law.

Regardless of any future action by the increasingly conservative U.S. Supreme

Court, the right to seek an abortion—up to 24-weeks—was protected in state statutes by nearly two-thirds of voters. It can now be changed only by another vote of the people.

Other bills also strengthen reproductive rights this session. Senate Democratic Leader Nicole Cannizzaro introduced SB 361, which would reduce untimely pregnancies by allowing pharmacists to prescribe, order and dispense contraception to patients without a prescription from a primary care provider. SB 94 would appropriate $6 million for communitybased family planning grants. And AB 295, sponsored by Assm. Shannon Bilbray-Axelrod, will attempt, once again, to require factual, evidence-based sexuality education in Nevada’s schools.

The Republican Party may object to these efforts to empower women to take charge of their reproductive health, but the majority of Nevadans who want government to stay out of their most personal health choices appreciate them.

Nevadans can also be happy with the implementation of a new reporting system for sexual harassment claims created by the 2017 Democratic-led Legislature which seems to be working well, given the sudden resignation of Democratic Assm. Mike Sprinkle. Women can now file complaints through an outside law firm without their names and the specifics of the alleged behavior becoming partisan fodder. If the private investigation results in a humiliating public resignation, presumably it will serve as a deterrent to other would-be harassers. Legislators understand this behavior will no longer be tolerated, providing a needed cleansing to an institution that for too long accepted sexual harassment as inevitable in the intensity of a legislative session where legislators lose their self-control.

Nevada women are flexing their muscles this year, demanding a harassment-free workplace and the ability to make their own decisions about their health care. That’s progress. Ω

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by Dennis Myers

Nevada workers joiN up

While physicist Maureen McCarthy introduced him, Lee Gunn was miked up by a technician at a gathering of the National Security Forum of Northern Nevada.

Nevada’s labor union membership exceeds the national average.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the state had 191,000 union members in 2018, 13.9 percent of Nevada wage and salary workers, compared to 10.5 percent nationally. That puts the state 11th in the nation.

“Union membership rate for the state was at its peak in 1996, when it averaged 20.4 percent, and at its lowest point in 2016 at 12.1 percent,” BLS said in its news release.

PHOTO/DENNIS MYERS

CorporaTe weLFare sLows When residents of Queens, New York ousted Amazon from their territory after the behemoth asked for the moon, most major media spun the story as Amazon wanted, as though the New York borough had lost a golden opportunity.

But reports from Queens mostly describe residents thrilled by the departure, and health care company Centene Corporation appears to be taking Amazon’s place without bribery, Crains New York reported. Centene would occupy the same space at Long Island City’s One Court Square that Amazon was slated to take before reneging on the $3 billion deal.

And there are indications that the day of the mega-bribe in economic development is passing.

Nevada Public Radio recently reported, “Last year, when Amazon was looking for a city to house its second headquarters, [San Jose, California, Mayor Sam] Liccardo threw San Jose’s hat in the ring. But unlike the various cities that promised generous tax incentives, San Jose offered Amazon no money. ‘If you’re offering incentives, those are dollars you could use to be building out transit … supporting an ecosystem of talent development,’ Liccardo says.”

And every time Amazon casts a covetous eye on Las Vegas, a local columnist tears into the corporation. When Amazon launched its second headquarters search that ended up momentarily bagging Queens, right wing columnist Victor Joecks went to work in the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Under the headline, “Just say no to bribing Amazon to come to Nevada,” he wrote, “Amazon should do Nevada a favor and remove Las Vegas from its shopping cart. Giving Amazon special tax incentives and tax abatements—likely worth well over $1 billion—is a terrible idea. … Amazon’s promises are shakier than a politician’s. ‘All job numbers, categories, and salaries contained herein are estimates/projections and are subject to change,’ Amazon’s information sheet reads. The promise of up to 50,000 jobs is spread out over 10 to 15 years. Amazon says its capital expenditures could be as low as $2.16 billion, not the touted $5 billion. A bait and switch from Amazon is still a bait and switch. Don’t fall for it. Amazon, go take someone else’s money. If you want a handout, you’re not welcome here.”

In November, a group of Somali workers forced officials at a massive Amazon warehouse in Minnesota to come to the negotiating table, one of a wave of worker organizing victories in new tech corporations like Google, Palantir and Microsoft.

—Dennis Myers

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Energy, climate and the military Nevada’s location give it a role retired u.s. Navy vice admiral Lee Gunn never mentioned Donald Trump during his remarks to the National Security Forum of Northern Nevada last week. But Trump was present between the lines of his speech nevertheless. He was in town to talk about the “linkage between energy and national security.”

On coal, Gunn said, it is a mistake to “support and sustain a dying industry.”

At two international conferences he has attended recently, he said, the delegates from other nations spoke about their work in the energy field.

And they asked, “What the heck is happening in the United States?”

He praised state governments and the U.S. Conference of Mayors for their leadership in continuing to enforce in their jurisdictions the COP 21 climate agreement signed in Paris.

More than a thousand mayors have signed onto that effort.

He said, “It would be nice to have federal leadership on this right now.”

Although the U.S. government’s executive branch is headed by a climate

change denier, the Pentagon is one of the most active and aggressive agencies in dealing with the problem.

After Gunn retired from the Navy, he joined the Center for Naval Analyses, a nonprofit corporation that does federally funded research and development for the Navy and Marine Corps.

Previously called the CNA Corporation, it is now CNA Analysis & Solutions and has four divisions—education, energy, water and climate—that give it a leading role in planning the military response to climate change and “assured” electrical power.

Gunn’s remarks to the Reno group were wide-ranging, raising some issues about which the public has seldom heard. He said the nation’s electricity system works well given the fact that it wasn’t designed. Rather, it is a patchwork of systems. In the early days of electricity, he said, lines were stretched to a county line and then stopped there.

It would be picked up by another jurisdiction months or years later.

That system is pretty vulnerable, he said. The leading source of attacks on power facilities is—squirrels. There are

also more than 200 annual incidents of what he termed “mischief”—nonpolitical attacks on such facilities. As an example, he said, 17 rifle shots were fired at the Metcalf transformer station near San Jose on April 16, 2013. The Silicon Valley and its region was without electricity for half a day, and the Metcalf station was shut down for half a year because of the damage to the transformer. Power companies, he said, do not keep spare transformers on hand because they are so expensive, and it takes months to build replacements.

One exotic issue the public knows little about is that the U.S. power system is vulnerable to an electromagnetic pulse attack. He compared it to the Sept. 1, 1859 “white light” solar flare that lasted about five minutes, the impact reaching Earth the next day and lasting two days, lighting up the northern hemisphere with green, blue and red auroras, killing and injuring telegraph operators. Telegraph lines caught fire. Teletypes scorched paper, printed gibberish and continued to function for hours after being unplugged.

Gunn said he does not know whether the United States can wield an EMP as a weapon because he had no need to know when he was in the Navy, but the Pentagon believes Russia has such a weapon, and “right now there is no solution.”

An EMP attack “absolutely could … take down the United States,” he said.

In December, the Air Force released a report that received greater attention overseas—the London Daily Mail called it “shocking”—and said the U.S. is largely unprepared for such an attack, that it could eliminate all electricity, kill 90 percent of the people on the East Coast and lead to chaos worldwide. North Korea, Russia and Iran have been developing such weapons, the report said.

Few facilities that need to be protected against an EMP with “hardened” exteriors are so outfitted, Gunn told the Reno audience.

Boeing is working on developing an EMP weapon for the United States and is also developing aircraft that can ward off EMPs—each of which is expected to have the price tag of an aircraft carrier—including a new Air Force One. Trump has said several times that he is working on reducing the cost for the new Air Force One,

but a transportation trade website has said Trump’s “assertions have repeatedly proven to be hollow and now it is becoming clear that the program’s price tag has actually leaped considerably.”

Other, more familiar threats to the system are just as difficult to manage. Drought can reduce the electricity produced by hydroelectric generation, and the West has experienced two long, major droughts in the last 30 years.

There were issues Gunn raised without seeming to realize they are hot buttons in Nevada. Fracking and the drone killings have drawn criticism in the state. Gunn spoke of the need for both. Both state and federal Nevada legislators have introduced language to curb fracking. And drones—which are guided to their human targets from Creech Air Force Base in Nevada—have been protested and picketed at Creech.

Gunn said Nevada’s location and the progressive approach of its state government to renewable energy issues deserve praise.

In an interview the day after his speech, Gunn said the best protection the U.S. has against an EMP attack is the “disincentive” other powers have to use such a weapons.

If Russia employed one against the United States, he said, it would cripple Russia’s own financial system, which is interlocked with the U.S. East Coast financial sector.

He was also asked if the military community has dealt with climate skepticism in its ranks as other sectors of society have. He said there were climate skeptics when the

military first started coming to grips with the problem, and there still are. But he said the military’s task was made easier because climate change itself had to be dealt with, and military officials could avoid the whole issue of whether it is caused by humans.

That’s a matter for policymakers, who must decide whether to try to reduce climate change. The military must cope with its already present effects.

For instance, coastal military bases in the U.S. and overseas locales like Guam must cope with rising water levels that threatened to submerge existing facilities at 128 sites in the United States and around the world. Thus the Pentagon can move ahead with dealing with the effects of climate change and leave its prevention to other agencies.

Gunn: “The first question that they needed to answer was ‘Is the climate in fact changing fast enough so that the national security apparatus will have trouble keeping up?’ And they spent a while satisfying themselves that, yes, the scientific evidence was sufficient to convince them that not only was it changing quickly, it was going to continue to change quickly. And there were going to be effects that the military had to deal with in organizing training and equipping and in organizing operations as well.” Ω

A paper, “Energy Security in Nevada” by Maureen McCarthy, can be read at tinyurl.com/yyxkfua5.

One down

News coverage this week gave heavy attention to Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report, which said no evidence was found of Donald Trump’s campaign cooperating with Russia interference in the 2016 U.S. election but gave a less conclusive judgment on whether Trump obstructed justice. Trump still faces at least 26 other investigations by state and federal prosecutors, state and federal regulators, and congressional committees into charges of improper use of a charitable foundation, Trump’s personal taxes, his business taxes, his use of undocumented workers, hush money payments, abuse of power, improper security clearances, campaign finance violations, preferential loans, whether Trump foreign investments are undercutting the nation’s foreign policy, and whether he and his family are profiting from the presidency in violation of the emoluments clause of the U.S. Constitution.

PHOTO/DENNIS MYERS

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tahoe

by JeRi ChAdweLL

j e ri c @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

A box of records at Special Collections on the UNR campus contains 29 Lake Tahoe pamphlets, some dating back to 1895.

PHOTO/JERI CHADWELL

Tahoe in town Lake archives The opportunity to explore Lake Tahoe is an exciting prospect for locals and visitors alike. The lake has a lot of offer in the way of recreation, entertainment and history.

But many may be unaware that right here in Reno there’s a repository of information about Tahoe that—in archival terms—is as vast as the lake itself. It’s housed in the Special Collections Department at the University of Nevada, Reno.

Special Collections is located on the second floor of the Mathewson IGT Knowledge Center, the university’s library.

It’s open to the public, and, according to manuscripts and archives librarian Jacquelyn Sundstrand, it holds a treasure trove of information for people curious about Lake Tahoe.

“We have [records from] organizations that were up there,” she said. “There’s some reminiscences. We have some different things with maps. We have Lake Tahoe pamphlets. … An awful lot of these pamphlets go back to 1895. … And we have oral histories from people. And most of those transcripts are online as well.”

The materials cover topics ranging from art to environmental activism and scientific endeavors.

“One of our premier collections, and one of the basic ones we build off of is going to be the information about snow runoff, which is based off of the work of Dr. James Church, who used to be, surprisingly, a classics professor here near the beginning of the 1900s,” Sundstrand said. “And he is the one who perfected how you go about measuring the snow and

how much water it contains, so you know more about stream runoff, which, of course, helps you with crops, lake levels, river flows.”

The James Church collection is stored in 69 boxes that Sundstrand said contain both his personal and academic correspondence.

“He was on an international commission,” she said. “He was also working very specifically with the Western Snow Conference. The Western Snow Conference, by the way, will be meeting here in Reno [this year].”

The Western Snow Conference provides a forum for individuals and organizations to share scientific, management and sociopolitical information concerning snow and runoff. Its 87th annual meeting will take place in Reno from April 15 to 18.

Digging further into the archives, one can find information about groups and historic meetings that happened at the lake.

Take, for instance, a box containing the records of the Foresta Institute for Ocean and Mountain Studies. Founded in 1960 in Washoe Valley by Richard and Maya Miller, this non-profit research organization was a pioneer in environmental education.

Its flagship program was an educational summer camp program at the lake for students—but Foresta was also involved in international initiatives supported by organizations like the United Nations.

In yet another box are working papers, handouts, attendance sheets and cassette tapes from a citizen’s forum held by the League of Women Voters on Dec. 4, 1976.

The group met to discuss governmental structures they thought necessary for the protection of the lake.

According to Sundstrand, Special Collections’ materials are searchable online, including the department’s massive photo collection—most of which has been digitized and includes thousands of Lake Tahoe photos.

“We’re also here to help,” she said.

“We’re always here to try to help people access our materials and, hopefully, find the things they need to find. Ω

Learn more about Special Collections by visiting UNR’s website or calling 682-5665. Those seeking research help can email specoll@unr.edu.

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Nevada Wolf Pack

• WHALE NOW FOOD • COAL = MONEY • SCRIBE SUCKS FEET

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government

makes it iNto the

Fantastic Four!

The Nevada men’s basketball team’s season ended with disappointment last week. The Wolf Pack was defeated by the University of Florida in the first round of the National Collegiate Athletic Association tournament. After making it to the Sweet Sixteen last year and starting this season as an almost unbeatable squad, hopes were high that the Pack could claw its way deeper into the tournament than ever before.

Last year’s Sweet Sixteen appearance was only the second time Nevada has gotten that far, and it has never made it to the Elite Eight or the Final Four.

But the Pack ended the year with a whimper.

They were listless in the first half of last Thursday’s game, and though they gained some momentum in the second half, it wasn’t enough. The Florida Gators won with a final score of 70-61.

“Tonight, it hurts,” Nevada head coach Eric Musselman said. “And tomorrow, it’ll hurt, and it’ll hurt a week from now. And even if the guys somehow manage to defeat Doctor Doom next fall, it’ll still hurt.”

Doctor Victor Von Doom is the supervillain ruler of the fictional nation Latveria.

The Wolf Pack might not have made it into the Final Four of this year’s tournament, but the team’s

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graduating seniors, including stars Jordan Caroline, Caleb Martin and Cody Martin, have been recruited into the Fantastic Four.

“Well, they’re all pretty tall and long-limbed, so I thought, maybe this could work?” Sue Storm, a.k.a. the Invisible Woman, said. She took over leadership of the Fantastic Four after the recent retirement of her husband, Reed Richards, a.k.a.

Mister Fantastic. “Reed wanted to spend more time on his science projects. His super power was his stretchy limbs, sort of like a basketball player.”

The players were rotated on the team alongside Storm, her brother, the human flamer Johnny Storm, and rock-man The Thing.

“It’s pretty cool, I guess,” Caleb Martin said. “I was sort of hoping we’d get a call from the Avengers or the X-Men or even just the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But, yeah, the Fantastic Four.”

All the players expressed disappointment that Jessica Alba isn’t actually on the team.

“Although, every Fantastic Four movie I’ve ever seen is actually pretty lousy,” said Caroline. “Getting into the Final Four would have been more fantastic than this.”

U.S. foreign policy experts say there are growing reports from North Korea and Iran that those governments have given up trying to make contact with moderate elements in the U.S. government.

“The word I get repeatedly is that they had a certain amount of luck in the Department of Agriculture and the Census Bureau, but otherwise there was nothing but crazies,” said Journal of Strategic Studies editor Hamlish English. He quoted one Iranian scholar who asked him, “What is the deal with this Huckabee person?”

The Central Intelligence Agency has reportedly briefed Congress on its own efforts to make such contacts within its own administration, without success.

“I kept raising things like Brexit, the Saudis and interference with the 2020 election, but all they wanted to talk about was walls,” said a CIA analyst who spoke on condition of anonymity. “You think I want to be associated with this group?” she said.

Lump sums “President” Trump announced yesterday he would start paying federal employees in coal.

“Bitcoin’s going nowhere, Stablecoin’s dragged down by Facebook’s reputation, and Brownie Points are just sad,” the “president” told a convention of Trekkies Wednesday.

“It’s time to try a lump sum.”

West Virginians were delirious over the news.

Coal paid out will be stamped, “This lump is legal tender for all debts public and private.

It will also feature photos of leading citizens chosen by the “president”—Roy Moore, Laura Ingraham and David Duke among them. Asked if John McCain would be among them, the “president” could not quite place the name.

Commemorative lumps will also be issued for collectors, and will feature the nation’s founding prostitutes, predators and real estate moguls who repeatedly filed for bankruptcy.

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Journalist puts foot in mouth A local newspaper editor has put her foot in her mouth—and it looks like she may never live it down.

What did Sherry Chafewell do to become such a pariah?

“No, really, I put my foot in my mouth,” she said.

Earlier this month, photos surfaced on the internet of Chafewell attending a remote yoga retreat somewhere in the Sierra. In some of the photos, her foot was literally in her mouth.

“Look, I’ve pursued a lot of weird stories for the paper—been covered in snakes at a kids’ museum, had drinks in a laundromat bar, gone to the Elbow Room in Sparks,” she said. “Yoga’s not something I’ve done. I just kind of assumed the whole foot thing was gross but standard practice.”

Chafewell has lived down a lot of faux pas in years past.

“You think?” she asked. “Of course I have. Journalists make mistakes all the time. I once referred to UNR professor Wang Jung as ‘Wang Chung.’

I mixed up Clint Eastwood and John Wayne in one of Guy Dire’s film reviews! And I’ve pissed people off with the truth. What about that story I published about the craft place where you can’t use the bathroom because someone’s always huffing glue in it?”

Still, Chafewell said she knows the writing’s probably on the wall for her here—and she’s making contingency plans in case her reputation in Reno never recovers.

“I guess maybe I’ll have to move to another market,” she said. “No one here wants to talk to me now, but there’s that town in Alaska where everyone lives in the same building or that place in Pennsylvania that’s had a coal fire burning beneath it since 1962. Maybe one of those.”

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LocaL man objects

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TO EVERY ASPECT OF

burning man ExCEPT ThE

naked chicks Sparks, NV—Speaking to reporters from his living room, local man Kyle Girossi confirmed yesterday that he disagrees with pretty much every aspect of Burning Man except the naked chicks.

“What a waste of time,” Girossi said, referencing the internationally renowned counter-culture festival that brings almost 100,000 people to an improvised city on the Black Rock Playa every summer.

“Except openly staring at naked babes, I can’t understand why anyone would want to parade around the desert with a bunch of freaks and old hippies.”

The festival, which began in the early 1990s, requires its participants to live by a set of principles that encourage self-reliance, de-commodification and a rejection of most entrenched social norms. Nudity is often seen as a method of self-expression in the grounds of Black Rock City, and is generally accepted.

“Bullshit,” continued Girossi, watching news coverage of festival participants or “Burners” preparing their camping equipment and vehicles by patronizing many of Reno’s businesses. “Every socialist society in history

has failed, and if these idiots think they can set up some kind of Marxist utopia where women can avoid objectification from people like me, they’re dreaming.”

Scrolling through a Reno Gazette Journal online gallery of Burners reveling in the playa dust wearing eccentric clothing amongst monolithic sculptures and other world-class art installations, Girossi added that the people who go to this thing are so hypocritical, and if they really believed in their principles then the girls should get naked all the time, not just for one week in August.

“What a joke,” he said. “They swarm up here from the Bay every year, clogging up all the roads and flooding the city with drugs, then as soon as it’s over, boom, they go back to their cushy tech jobs, not a naked chick in sight.”

Girossi concluded by saying, however, that while he didn’t personally understand why anyone would go to Burning Man, “to each their own.”

“Honestly I don’t get it, but if a bunch of hot, young college girls want to spend money so they can strip down and maybe take some sexy selfies, who am I to judge?”

Truckee Meadows Water Authority says

flooding unlikely if demands R E a k i N G are met B N E w S !

WINGFIELD PARK, RENO—Speaking to reporters from the brimming banks of the Truckee River in downtown Reno today, representatives from the Truckee Meadows Water Authority confirmed that spring flooding will be unlikely, as long as the agency’s demands are met in a timely fashion.

“We at TMWA would like to announce that concerned Reno citizens who have been watching river levels rise over this past month have nothing to worry about—as long as they’re ready to pony up some cash,” said Malcolm MacDowell, natural resource manager for the agency.

Record-breaking snow levels blanketed the Sierra this winter, and the prospect of a spring thaw coupled with heavy rain at lower elevations has had Reno residents wary of rising water levels, as similar conditions prompted the Truckee’s last flood in 2017, which cost state and local governments millions in damages.

“While this spring bears many of the hallmarks of previous flooding seasons,” said MacDowell, gesturing to the swiftly coursing body of water behind him that looked primed to surge past its banks at any moment, “We at TMWA learned a great deal from the 2017 flood, and have updated our water-containment strategies, and ransom demands, accordingly.”

Adding that the agency’s team of dedicated civil engineers and surveyors was standing by day and night to collect an initial payment of 15 million dollars in unmarked, non-sequential bills, MacDowell stressed that TMWA was committed to protecting Reno’s people and property, if they provide a fully-fueled G6 jetliner ready to depart Reno-Tahoe International airport for Mexico at midnight.

MacDowell stated that, while early flooding indications imply that water levels will crest earlier this year, his department especially was taking no risks.

“We are optimistic that flooding will be contained to the Truckee’s natural flood plains as the weather warms,” MacDowell stated, speaking directly into the lens of a local TV news camera. “But TMWA’s Flood Gate Operations staff stands ready to act at the first sign that someone is trying to screw us here.”

At press time, MacDowell was assuring local city officials that if they didn’t transfer the desired amount to his off-shore bank account within the next 12 hours, he was prepared to “wash this whole motherfucking town away.”

Man who’s never seen

Space Whale hunted, TiTaNic butchered by local all-you-can-eat can describe entire movie I’ve never seen Titanic, but just based on 20-something years of parodies, references and other detritus of living in America, I think I can describe the whole movie.

The movie begins in the “present day” of the late 1990s. Bill Paxton is some sort of nautical archaeologist, and he’s exploring the wreck of the Titanic, the massive ocean liner that sunk on its maiden voyage across the Atlantic ocean in 1912. Paxton and his crew of deep-seadiving robots or whatever discover a gorgeous, invaluable diamond necklace in the wreck. The necklace has some name that’s both cliché and pretentious, like “Heart of Gold” or “Pearl of the Ocean.”

Paxton discovers that the necklace once belonged to an English aristocrat named Rose. He discovers that she’s still alive and living in New York. She might be portrayed by the actress who played Aunt May in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man movies. Paxton brings her the necklace and asks her to tell him about her time aboard the Titanic.

The movie then flashes back to 1912. Rose is now a young woman, portrayed by Kate Winslet. She’s boarding the Titanic along with the rest of her family, who are all stuffy English aristocratic types.

She’s amazed at the sheer spectacle of the enormous ship. She’s engaged to be married to a handsome young aristocrat played Billy Zane. But she doesn’t really like him. Instead, she has eyes for a young, hat-wearing poor guy named Jack, played

by Leonardo DiCaprio, because he’s an artist.

She eventually asks Jack if she can do some nude modeling for him. He agrees, because it’s a pretty easy decision, and then he draws her, and then they make love, maybe in a car for some reason, although that doesn’t make much sense because they’re already on a boat.

After the love-making, they’re happily in love, and they run around the ship like a couple of school kids, much to the annoyance of everyone around them, especially Billy Zane, since he loves Rose, too. They lean off the prow of the ship, and Jack shouts, “I’m the king of the world!”

This whole section of the movie is scored to Celine Dion singing “My Heart Will Go On,” the song that ruined pennywhistles and love for an entire generation.

Meanwhile, Captain Smith, played by Bernard Hill, a.k.a. King Theoden in the Lord of the Rings, hears from one of his crewmen that the ship is nearing some iceberg-infested waters, but he isn’t afraid, because, lo, verily, that’s the hubris of captains and kings.

The ship hits an iceberg, of course, and then there’s a long ’90s-CGIeffects sequence of the boat sinking. The poor people fall into the icy waters. The rich people get on life rafts. The band keeps playing throughout the evacuation. I’m not sure what music they play, but it might be an instrumental version of “My Heart Will Go On.” Captain Smith also goes down with the ship.

After the ship sinks, Rose is trapped on a door floating in the water.

Jack hangs on the side, slowly freezing to death. After a long, tearful exchange, during which the ample space on the floating door is ignored, Jack lets go and slowly descends into the icy abyss below.

The movie ends by cutting back to the “present day” ’90s, and Bill Paxton thanks Rose for sharing her story with him.

And then there’s an encore of “My Heart Will Go On” over the credits.

How’d I do? Pretty close?

sushi restaurant CITY PLAZA, RENO—Posing triumphantly for a photo with their fresh kill at their feet, the staff of Ishizuka Sushi Bar confirmed to reporters earlier today that they had successfully hunted the Space Whale as an addition to their allyou-can-eat menu.

“We were at it all day,” said Jerry Ono, head chef at Ishizuka, wiping his brow and reclining in the shade as his assistants sharpened the long filet knives brought for the occasion.

“It gave us quite the fight, but we’re happy to say that Reno residents can expect a rare delicacy at Ishizuka in the coming weeks.”

The Space Whale, the steel and stained glass sculpture commissioned by Burning Man artist Android Jones, has stood in Reno’s City Plaza

since 2017 and has long been prized in South Asian cultures for its blubber, which is eaten raw or with a few drops of soy sauce.

“I have fond memories of my grandmother preparing Space Whale on birthdays and holidays as a child,” Ono said, directing the staff to start carving from the flesh beneath the pectoral fins while waving away the flock of seabirds that had gathered to peck at the carcass. “That’s where the meat is most tender, and a Space Whale this big will provide hundreds of pounds. We’ll be serving this all summer.”

After spotting the Space Whale from their lightweight, rubber dinghy on the Truckee River, the culinary staff of the Japanese-fusion restaurant and cocktail bar fired a series of

steel harpoons from their craft into some of 2000 stained glass panels of the sculpture’s exterior. Ono assured reporters that the Space Whale was ultimately slaughtered in the most humane method available, a single puncture through the art installation’s Volkswagen-sized heart.

Street walkers There’s a new urban adventure club in Reno. You’ve heard of free climbers and even urban jungle adventurers like free runners—but have you ever heard of street walkers? No, not that kind.

Street walking is a new fitness craze sweeping cities across the country and the world. The idea is simple—just walk through a city, crisscrossing the streets.

It’s a hit with fitness enthusiasts young and old. The only rule for this at-yourown-pace workout sensation: Do everything legally. Obey traffic signals. Walk against traffic on sidewalks where present—and cross at designated crosswalks.

“It’s thrilling in a city like Reno,” said visiting Seattle street walking enthusiast Jason Smith. “I’ve tried base jumping, big wave surfing and bull riding. It’s that kind of thrill.”

The hat that has nothing to do with Digital Days.

Hang on to your hats Beginning in the fall semester, all students in Washoe County schools will be required to wear top hats to school. The new dress code is intended to draw public attention away from other controversies that have plagued the school district.

“Maybe people will let up on us if we distract them to other issues,” said school board member Kelley Minetto Taylor.

“Besides, it will get us lots of national publicity.”

The Onion is reportedly already preparing an article on the district.

A school district police spokesperson said the idea originated with them. “There will be less difficulty with student gang garb if everyone is wearing the same hat,” he said.

The natty headgear will be called Digital Chapeaus.

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Ready foR some football The Nevada Storm, Reno’s women’s football team, hits hard

by Brad Bynum bradb @ n e wsr e v i e w. c om

a

couple of months ago, as we were watching the Super Bowl, my 12-year-old stepdaughter Josephine said, in consternation and frustration, “Where are the girls? Why are there no girls?”

A few weeks later, I took her out to Golden Eagle Regional Park in deepest Sparks to watch the Nevada Storm, Reno’s women’s football team, practice. It was a cold evening, and we could see the players’ half-frozen breaths in the air as they slammed into each other. They were running drills and hitting hard.

The Nevada Storm is a real football team—not a lingerie squad or tag team—but a team that plays full-contact tackle football in the Women’s Football Alliance league. Last year, the team was the Independent Women’s Football League West Coast champions and was defeated by the Houston Energy in the national championship.

That’s right. The Nevada Storm is a local team that made it to a national championship last year.

No joke.

The team has been around since 2010. It started out with just six players. Now, there are nearly 30. The team began as a nonprofit organization, became for-profit for several years, and, as of this year, is a nonprofit once again.

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From the field, one of the players shouted toward Josephine: “Ready to come out and hit?

Come on!”

Laura Getchell serves on the board of the team.

She met Josephine and me at the field, and as we watched the action, I asked her about her role on the board. She explained she was involved with social media and community outreach. Many of the board members are also on the team.

“The president and vice president are out there playing,” Getchell said.

Getchell’s daughter, Sarah Colangelo, is also on the team.

“This is her second year,” Getchell said.

“She was ‘Offensive Player of the Year’ last year. They didn’t have enough players last year to have both an offense and defense, so she played both offense and defense. She was on the field for almost every play. … This year, we had a lot better turnout. We had players who actively went out and recruited.”

The team is a labor of love. Some players commute up from Sacramento. The team practices three times a week, plus semi-regular fundraiser events. The players pay membership dues to play. The team pays for insurance and to have a Regional Emergency Medical Services Authority ambulance at every game. The team members drive to games all over California and in Utah, Oregon and Las Vegas. They have to pay for hotel rooms, rental vans and equipment. They struggle to find fields—mostly at local high schools—to rent to host home games.

“Nobody is very welcoming,” Getchell said.

“Well, Dayton was very welcoming, but that’s a long drive.”

Shannon Peed is a player on the team and serves on the board. She was a co-owner of the team when it was non-profit. She’s been on the team for eight years.

“This is my dream,” she said. “I’ve wanted to play since I was a kid. … There’s a camaraderie and passion that comes with football and the family that we have. … You have to put in so much time and study, and it’s like a game of chess.

You can’t just be skilled and go play. … You have to do more than that.”

For Peed, the chance to play is worth any expenditure—of time or money or anything else.

“Finally I get the opportunity to play—and every penny is worth it,” she said. “You get to travel. You get a family. It’s buying into something that everyone else believes in.”

For her, it’s the fulfillment of one of her childhood dreams.

“I was throwing and catching a ball when I was 5 or 6. And I just thought I’ll be out here throwing and catching with my dad forever. I’ll never be on a team. And finally my dream came true. … If you want it, it’s like paying for college. If I pay for my own college, I’m going to go to class, right?

If Daddy is paying for it, or even a scholarship, sometimes that’s not enough for people to get them there and motivate them to do it. But if I have to do all these things to get there, you better believe I’m going to go there and learn.”

The women of the Nevada Storm line up.

Full contact

kind of crazy or those 1980s tackling drills or anything like that. We try to keep up with the times. Our coaches try to stay up to date with The president of the board, Carrie “C-Mack” Mackey, is built like what she is—a linebacker. everything we can do to keep things safe.”

He also coaches a local high school boys’ She was a catcher for the University of Nevada, team.

“Coaching women is no different than Reno softball team and has played roller derby, coaching men,” he said. However, he said that volleyball and basketball. She loves the full he needs less of the drill sergeant approach he contact of football. sometimes needs for high school boys, but that “You can get physical in basketball, but probably has less to do with gender than it does nothing like this, you know? Being able to see with age. The Storm players are all over 18. someone there, and you can just lay them out,” “Once I got out here, I realized it was a she said. “And what’s nice about this sport is treasure trove of athletes and a great opportuit’s for every body size, for every body shape. nity,” Garza said. “I really hope we get more You can be tiny. You can be big. We have a position for you in football. It’s not like volley- attention from our city and more help and encouragement from them. I’d like to see this ball—they all want tall, skinny girls.” as a bigger organization, with a team of 40 or She said that common responses about 50 ladies wanting to play football.” the team include “Is it a lingerie league?”

Ryia Grant is a rookie on the team. She and “Girls shouldn’t be playing a contact was approached by Storm players because sport like that.” she played on the Reed High School team.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” she said.

“Playing with girls is completely different “If the boys can do it, why can’t we? We’re than playing with guys,” Grant said. “The playing against other women. We’re not playcamaraderie is completely different. I feel ing against men right now. … Me, by myself, more a part of this team than I ever did on the I’m as strong as a lot of guys, if not stronger.

So, I don’t have a problem with it. I know other Reed team. … The world doesn’t—I don’t want to say that they don’t want to see girls girls—they’re always up for a challenge.” playing football, but they don’t want to see Mackey acknowledges that injuries are just girls in football pads. They want to see girls in part of the sport. a different way. And us saying, ‘Hey, we can get out there and be just as tough as a bunch of boys.’ There is some of that us-against-the—Carrie “C-Mack” Mackey world thing.”

For Grant, the biggest surprise about “I’ve had my fair share,” she said. “I’ve joining the Nevada Storm was the team’s actually had two knee surgeries because of dedication. the sport. I’ve torn my ACL [anterior cruciate “I didn’t anticipate how intense it would ligament], dislocated my knee, two meniscus be,” she said. “Actually getting on the field and surgeries. … I got old lady knees. I squeak, I being with the girls and the coaches—they’re creak, and sometimes I wake up the next day very serious about it. That was a good saying, why am I doing this? But it’s worth it. surprise—a very good surprise.” Ω I’ve got a few years left.”

“Player safety is always number one,” according to the Storm’s head coach, Chris The Nevada Storm opens its season in Bishop, California, taking Garza. “We try to mitigate everything we can on Eastern Sierra Mustangs on April 6. Their first home game is against the Utah Blitz on April 20 at Damonte Ranch High School. with the workouts that we do. We only use Kickoff is at 4 p.m. proven methods. We don’t teach anything that’s

“You can be tiny. You can be big. We have a position for you in football.”

03.28.19 | RN&R | 15

by Matt Bieker

ma ttb @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

Yarngurl conceals her identity as she installs her latest “yarn bomb” in downtown Reno.

Weaving town Yarngurl If you’ve been walking or driving in Reno over the past few months, you might have noticed the occasional tree limb, sign post or other part of the city’s infrastructure wearing what looks like a wool sweater. If you’ve seen these brightly-colored, handknitted coverings, you might have also glimpsed an embroidered tag at the bottom and asked the question, “Who is Yarngurl?”

“For me, lately, it’s just kind of been my outlet for, kind of more fun ideas that I’ve had,” said Yarngurl, who requested that her identity remain a secret. “I do a lot of knit and crochet and that’s a lot of what I’ve been doing ... for the last year. It’s been an outlet to do something that I love, but just have it be not serious, just for fun.”

In her daily life, Yarngurl is a local artist who specializes in knit and crochet—skills she learned as a middle school student in town—selling meticulously crafted clothing and embroidered goods. Yarngurl is her “yarn bombing” alter ego, prowling the streets of Reno looking for opportunities to weave her own intricate brand of street art.

“Basically, it’s knit and crochet graffiti,” she said. “One of the reasons why it’s fun is it’s harmless to the property. It’s not spray paint kind of graffiti where I’m permanently altering whatever surface I’m working on. Everything I put up can be just cut off and taken down.”

Yarngurl has been doing this kind of unsanctioned (although not outwardly illegal) knitting for years now but began an official Instagram account for her work at the end of February. Her pieces include things like a knitted representation of female genitalia she installed on a public 16 | RN&R | 03.28.19

Photo/Matt Bieker

fence for International Women’s Day (a nod to the #MeToo movement, she said); a large, pattern-wrapped tree branch; and a 6-foot-plus rainbow colored sleeve on a stop sign near the Great Basin Food Co-op.

“I like doing the stop signs just because I think it’s really entertaining to, like, creep up to a stop and look over and notice something like that is really fun,” said Yarngurl.

Yarngurl mostly gets her ideas from places she identifies that might be good to “drop some stitches” as her Instagram profile reads. She’ll measure the object first, which she does as inconspicuously as possible.

“I do it during the day a lot of the time and definitely get some interesting looks when I’m walking up with a tape measure to make the installation,” she said. “But I just kind of go with the fake it ’til you make it—pretend to be really confident and like that’s what I’m supposed to be doing.”

The coverings take a few hours to make and are usually made from “upcycled” acrylic fiber in order to weather the elements as well as yarn can.

“The upside to using the upcycled materials to begin with is I can then—if I’m lucky enough to be the one who gets to take it down, sometimes other people take it down before I get there—I can just use the yarn in another project,” Yarngurl said.

Yarngurl said that some of her friends and family have guessed at what she’s up to, but her art alias exists more as a way for her to channel her creativity than out of a genuine fear of, say, legal reprisal.

“I’ve recently just kind of been trying to put myself out there more and just, like, think a little bit less, maybe,” said Yarngurl.

“I know it’s been easier to do that when I know my mom’s not watching.” Ω

Yarngurl’s work can be found on her instagram account, @Yarngurl.

by BoB Grimm

b g ri m m @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

“i told you, man. There’s only one opening in Slipknot now. We can’t both get it.”

Double jeopardy Oh, those evil doppelgangers and their wonderful place in horror lore. Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Twin Peaks, The Thing and now Us, Jordan Peele’s extremely creepy follow up to Get Out. I ask you, what’s creepier than your double trying to slash your neck? Peele knows that it’s the ultimate nightmare, and Us plays upon it with chilling glee.

The film starts with a quote about America having many miles of tunnels underneath its surface, then a quick flashback shot of a C.H.U.D. videotape next to a VCR. A TV plays an advertisement for Hands Across America, and you already have all sorts of subtext before anything even really happens.

When a young girl (Madison Curry) in the same ’80s flashback drifts away from her father at an amusement park and finds herself in a darkened hall of mirrors, Peele immediately states that he’s not playing around with this movie. Prepare to be scared, disturbed and uncomfortable in a good way.

The film then jumps to the present day, where Adelaide and Gabe (Lupita Nyong’o and Winston Duke) are taking their children, Zora and Jason (Shahadi Wright Joseph and Evan Alex) to the beach. It’s the same beach we saw in the flashback and, much to her chagrin, Adelaide was that young girl who ventured into that hall of mirrors. She’s not happy about revisiting the Santa Cruz pier, but the husband and kids really want to, so she takes one for the team.

The family excursion quickly becomes the worst vacation ever, as another family shows up, at night, standing in their driveway. A quick examination of the intruders reveals what the commercials for this movie have already told you—the family in the driveway is a darker, mirror image of the stunned family inside the house. They aren’t coming over to borrow the lawn mower. They intend to kill everybody. Once again, this vacation sucks.

Us has a larger scope than I was expecting and qualifies as one of the better apocalypse movies I’ve ever seen. No question, writer-director Peele has been gobbling up zombie, slasher and isolation horror movies all of his life, and their influences play a significant part in his vision. The movie is a mind-bender, but it’s also an efficient, bareknuckled horror-thriller. In short, it’s the whole package as far as horror movies go.

Nyong’o, whose doppelganger’s name is Red, gets a chance to play two meaty roles here, and she’s all over them. While Adelaide is a strongwilled mom we can’t help but root for, Red is a croaky monster—the only doppelganger that speaks—that comes with an unexpected level of pathetic sadness. She reveals plenty about why she and her evil-twin pals are doing what they do, and none of those secrets will be revealed here.

Peele fans know that the man—in addition to being able to scare the piss out of you—can make you laugh. Us is often as funny as it is scary. Duke is a crackup as the dad who can’t quite get it right when trying to protect his family. In a masterstroke of casting, Tim Heidecker of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! scores as Gabe’s smug friend.

He’s the wiseass husband of Kitty (Elisabeth Moss).

Moss does things in this movie that will always qualify as some of her best work.

When asked who they are, Red the doppelganger leader replies, “We are Americans.” Us might be scary and funny, but it is also unyieldingly unforgiving condemnation of American missteps, past and present. The movie is a lot of fun, but it’s also a heavy one.

Peele has a revamp of The Twilight Zone coming to CBS All Access soon, and Us plays like a nice primer for more twisty mischief to come. As for his movies, Peele is on a roll. Ω

Us

12345

SHORT TAKES

2

Alita: Battle Angel

2

Captain Marvel

The first time I saw the actual character of Alita in previews (played, in motion captures, by Rosa Salazar), I found her super creepy with her big eyes and ghostly smile. After seeing her in 3D IMAX, I have to say, something about adding that third dimension makes her more visually accessible. She really is an impressive special effects feat, blending in just fine with the 100 percent human actors and special effects backdrops. The movie itself is rather absorbing for a while, a decent story about a more than 300-year-old android trying to fit into a dystopian society, along with having the dullest boyfriend in cinematic history (Keean Johnson). The convoluted plot has something to do with her amnesiac-self trying to remember her battle machine origins (interesting) and trying to become a killer roller derby superstar (not so interesting). This is a project that’s been on James Cameron’s plate for what seems like forever. I can’t remember the first time I saw him attached to the project, but I know it was a long time ago. Then, the whole Avatar thing happened, and Cameron the director got lost in Pandora speaking Navi and doing strange things with horse-like creatures. He went from directing Alita to contributing to its screenplay and production only.

It looks like somebody forgot to tell Brie Larson to have fun and let loose in Captain Marvel. Her turn as the title character, a.k.a. Carol Danvers, is one laced with lethargy and bizarre line deliveries. Samuel L. Jackson and an orange tabby seem to be in on the notion of being in escapist fare, but Larson is stiffer than Church the cat on the Creed’s front lawn after his unfortunate encounter with a speeding truck. (Say, is my excitement for the upcoming Pet Sematary reboot evident?)

A similar problem plagued Larson in Kong: Skull Island. The Academy Award-winning actress seems to be in her wheelhouse when the budget is low, but seems miscast when the title of her movie is synonymous with blockbuster. She gives off a detached vibe, like she just doesn’t want to really be in the movie. It’s odd. Had the movie around her been really good, her seemingly bored disposition might’ve been forgiven, but Captain Marvel is also riddled with awful special effects and some haphazard storytelling.

I went in hoping for a badass movie about Captain Marvel but found myself more intrigued by the subplot involving an up and coming, low-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D. agent named Nick Fury, played by Jackson. Honestly, the de-aged Jackson in this movie, along with a returning Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg), who died in the first Avengers movie, are so good you wish they got their own film.

1

The Dirt

Jeff Tremaine, director of Jackass films, tries to deliver an actual narrative movie and bombs miserably with this lame biopic of Motley Crue. Based on the book written by members of the band, the film covers the band from formation through their career and makes a mess of the whole thing. For starters, Tommy Lee-lookalike Machine Gun Kelly delivers a bad performance as the iconic drummer, making him into more of a cartoon than he already is. Daniel Webber is an annoying prick as lead singer Vince Neil, who actually is an annoying prick in real life, too, so I guess he gets a pass. Douglas Booth renders bassist Nikki Sixx boring, while Iwan Rheon is the closest thing to any fun as the old, grumpy guitarist Mick Mars. I confess, I’ve never liked the band, and I find their music amateurish and shitty, so liking a movie about them might be a stretch. Still, we are talking some bad wig acting here, and nothing revelatory whatsoever about the group. They had groupies. They did drugs, blah, blah, blah.

I never thought I’d see a rock biopic that annoyed me more than Bohemian Rhapsody, but here you go. (Streaming on Netflix.)

3

Greta

4

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

3

Never Grow Old

Isabelle Huppert goes gonzo bonkers in director Neil Jordan’s latest—a silly, standard psycho stalker cinematic run-through made somewhat fun by Huppert’s commitment to nuttiness and costar Chloe Grace Moretz’s excellence at playing freaked out. Moretz is Frances, a young woman living in New York City with her best friend Erica (Maika Monroe). Frances, still dealing with the loss of her mother, finds somebody’s handbag on the subway and decides to return it to its owner. The owner is Greta (Huppert), a piano playing, solitary French woman who immediately invites Frances into her life, and they develop a fast mother/daughter bond. Greta provides the motherly friendship Frances craves. Erica cries weird about the whole relationship, but Frances persists, even helping Greta adopt a dog, and opting to hang with Greta instead of friends her own age. This is a horror-thriller, so it’s fairly obvious going into the theater that the Greta connection isn’t going to work out for the good. The cards are flipped early in the movie, and Greta reveals herself as a real kook, and the mother/daughter bonding goes south super-fast, devolving into Greta going into full stalker mode. The plotting is similar to other stalker films like Single White Female and One Hour Photo.

The tale of Toothless, the freaking adorable animated dragon, comes to a close (maybe) with How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World, the third chapter in what producers are calling a trilogy. If the story continues from this chapter, you won’t get any complaints from me. I think the dragon beat could very entertainingly go on with this franchise. Hiccup (Jay Baruchel), now the chief of his Viking tribe, and dragon buddy Toothless happen upon another Night Fury dragon, this one a female, and Toothless is justifiably smitten. After a first date that involves some hilarious show off dancing, the two hit it off, and Hiccup might find himself staring down a future life without Toothless in it. The movie clocks in at 104 minutes, but it feels more like 60. Director Dean DeBlois, who directed all three Dragon films, gets credit for making the proceedings breezy—and never boring. Thankfully, the great Jonsi of Sigur Ros provides another terrific song for the soundtrack.

Emile Hirsch and John Cusack, two actor’s whose careers have seen better times, star in this dark Western about a religious town that’s visited by the devil.

The devil would be Dutch Albert (Cusack), a sleazy gunslinger businessman who arrives in an old frontier town that has outlawed liquor and promptly opens a saloon. The mayhem that follows him has a body count, and the local undertaker, Patrick (Hirsch), starts making a fine profit off of all the kills.

Feeling conflicted over the fact that more money for his family also means a lot of people and friends dying, Patrick starts having thoughts about rising up against Dutch, but many will die before Patrick works up the gumption to make a move. Both actors are very good here, with Cusack delivering his best work since his excellent turn in Love & Mercy. He’s played bad guys before, but this guy is really bad, and Cusack seizes the opportunity to let the evil out. Hirsch is decent as the good guy who needs to buck up and do the right thing. Both actors have been doing duty in subpar movies of late, like John Travolta, Nicolas Cage and Bruce Willis, so it’s been awhile since they’ve done anything of note. Hopefully, their strong turns here will get them back on track. (Available for rent on iTunes and Amazon.com during a limited theatrical release.)

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by Todd SouTh

Handmade Crafts Fine Art, Fresh Food & Live Music at

The

Great american craft fair!

June 22nd & 23rd • Wingfield Park • Free to the Public Satur day 10am-5pm • Sunday 10am-4pm

greatamericancraftfairs.com

18 | RN&R | 03.28.19

Monaciello serves Italian fare like these mussels in a dijon vermouth sauce with roasted cherry tomato, cilantro, almond and shallot.

Little wonder Monaciello is housed in a pleasant, cozy room with seating for just under 40. The service and attention to detail are impeccable. Part of me wants to find the restaurant larger digs, but the intimacy and quality of the dining experience might suffer.

Best to appreciate it for what it is: a welcoming space that works for date nights, business lunches, weekend brunches and upscale family meals, if you get in early.

My group of kids and adults arrived at the beginning of Sunday dinner service, starting with garlic bread ($7)—a large, crusty Italian roll sliced on the bias and stuffed with plenty of butter and fresh garlic. Three impressively large, classic Italian meatballs ($7) followed, with housemade marinara and freshly grated Parmesan.

A pork belly appetizer ($11) with peach habanero jelly, bacon butter, pickled shallots, chipotle walnuts, corn and cilantro was crispy, tender and an enjoyable implementation of this trendy bit of pig. Rounding out the apps was an order of mussels ($13) with roasted cherry tomato, cilantro, almond, shallot and Dijon vermouth sauce. The shellfish were almost second fiddle to the rich, decadent sauce and veggies. We ordered a half loaf’s worth of warm ciabatta ($2) to sop up and savor the abundant gravy.

A Mediterranean salad ($7) of tomato, artichoke hearts, kalamata olives, cucumber, red onion, cherry pepper and feta tossed in balsamic and olive oil had a nice vinegar snap. A poached pear salad ($7) with spicy pecan, Gorgonzola, cold fried shallot, arugula and pear vin provided an interesting combination of light and bold flavors.

Next was a calamari steak ($14) with sauteed cavatelli, green beans and pancetta, topped with tapenade and garlic lemon cilantro butter; and a dish of grilled swordfish ($17) with “forbidden” black rice, yellow pepper coulis, teardrop pepper,

PHOTO/ALLISON YOUNG

sauteed green beans and Mediterranean salsa. The squid and fin fish were done right, and both dishes were completely enjoyable.

Crab tortellacci was substituted as ravioli ($16) with the same ingredients, including leek, corn, sweet pepper salad, tomato coulis and pesto creme fraiche. The crab flavor was excellent, and the counterpoint of red sauce with white made the dish.

Porcini mushroom ravioli ($14) topped with a salad of crispy pancetta, arugula, grilled artichoke heart and peas was the weirdest and greatest pasta salad I’ve encountered.

With curiosity, I ordered smoked salmon spaetzle ($16) with dill, shallots, lipstick peppers and ancho chili cream served over grilled ciabatta and topped with candied lemon zest, almonds and arugula. It was fantastic. As with the rest, the sauce really sold it.

I just had to try a “G2” pizza ($22 for a 12-inch pie) with red sauce, spicy shrimp, leeks, almonds, cherry peppers, bacon, feta, lemon zest, dill and ancho. The crust was thin and crispy—and holy wow. That combination of savory, tart and spicy flavors was next level. Even the hardcore keto dieter in our midst snagged a slice with no regrets.

Desserts ($7 each) change from day to day, although a mason jar chocolate mousse parfait with roasted pecan and torched marshmallow topping is a regular item. A brownie with fluffy mint and strawberry topping wasn’t bad, but the deep-fried apple bread pudding should be a regular item. It was like a candied apple fritter, with a creme brulee crunch and fluffy, diced apple interior. I’m not big on desserts, but I’ll never forget that terrific finish to our memorable meal. Ω

Monaciello

190 California Ave., 507-7540

Monaciello is open Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m, Friday from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m., Saturday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. and Sunday from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Learn more at monacielloreno.com.

by JeRi Chadwell

j e ri c @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

Get your grub on before the game!

R&B artist Max Stark has been making music for more than a decade.

OPen Late On Game Days

PHOTO/JERI CHADWELL

Clear cut Max Stark Max Stark’s 2018 album Moxie speaks a bit to the young R&B artist’s personality—thoughtful and private.

“I go ghost,” Stark sings in the opening lines of the first track, “hit the one, go up the coast, go to places no one knows, because I feel like I’m a ghost.”

A few months ago, Stark moved with his friend and manager, Brandon Miller, from Reno to Los Angeles to further his music career.

“I’m not the crazy, like, guy who goes out to party, so it’s cool to have a guy like him, who can keep his head on straight and also network and do what he’s supposed to do,” Stark said. “I’m more of a reserved guy. So it’s cool to be in the studio, and he picks up a lot of the other stuff. I don’t want to go out until 2 in the morning. That’s not me.”

Stark, who’s 25 years old, has been making music for more than a decade and has released two albums, as well as a handful of singles. His R&B style is somewhat classic—smooth, with strong bass—but with elements of indie rock and new wave.

“I love everything from Hall and Oates to Ginuwine,” he said. “I listen to some hair bands, even.”

Stark credits his diverse musical taste in large part to his father, with whom he lived in the Bay Area as a child. Staying true to his roots is important to him and one of the reasons he decided to use his real name as an artist.

“I didn’t want to shy away from it,” he said. “I didn’t want to hide behind a stage name. My name is actually Maxwell Payne Stark.”

On his neck, Stark wears a necklace bearing another name: Xeant.

“This is my girlfriend’s name,” Stark said. “It’s a strange name. It’s said like, ‘Action.’ She’s from the Philippines.”

Stark wears the necklace all the time, but his relationship is another aspect of his life he keeps mostly private.

“It’s not like the world can’t know about it,” he said. “I want them to—but I don’t like to post a lot of stuff. It’s just an ‘our business’ kind of thing. I feel like a lot of people let other people into their relationships.”

Stark is also ready for the world to know about his upcoming project—a third album, though he’s not willing to speak too in depth on it yet.

“I mean, I’m not going to say the name of the project yet, but it’s oceanthemed, for sure—and it’s got a really nice summer time vibe, this one,” Stark said. “We’re not close on this one. I’m taking my time. ... I don’t want to rush.”

He expects the new album will be released early in 2020 but plans to start releasing some singles and videos as early as this summer. And Reno audiences can expect to see Stark for a few local show dates this summer, too.

“We’re working on a couple of shows,” Stark said. “I don’t want to name the places for sure, but there will be two dates we’ll have in the summer when we’ll be out here. … Reno has always been good to me. That’s one thing I’ve always appreciated. It’s always showed me so much love. And I feel like, anywhere, you get what you put in, you know? You work hard.

People see it, but in Reno, like, there’s something about the people.” Ω

Follow Max Stark on Instragram or Facebook to see the new video for his song “Right Now.”

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RENO 775-852-3422

We Accept Cash, Checks & Credit Cards

’s Independent Journalism Fund

SaintMarysReno.com/checkin

Donate to

Show your support at www.independentjournalismfund.org

We’re Open Monday through Saturday Mon.-Fri. 7am-3:30 pm Sat. 8am-11am

THURSDAY 3/28

FRIDAY 3/29

SATURDAY 3/30

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Dance party, 10pm, $5

Dance party, 10pm, $5

Karaoke, 9pm, W, no cover

alIBI alE WorKS

Pixie & The Partygrass Boys, 10pm, $10

The Travelin’ McCourys, 10pm, $25

Bluegrass Open Jam, 6pm, M, no cover Latin Night, 7:30pm, Tu, no cover

Bar oF aMErICa

Arizona Jones, 9pm, no cover

Arizona Jones, 9pm, no cover

tHE BlUEBIrD

Asylum Pre-Party, 10pm, $5

Elvis Cantú, 10pm, $5-$10, free with RSVP

5 Star Saloon

132 West St., (775) 329-2878 10069 Bridge St., Truckee, (530) 536-5029 10040 Donner Pass Rd., Truckee, (530) 587-2626

Acid Mothers Temple

555 E. Fourth St., (775) 499-5549

March 29, 8 p.m.

CarGo ConCErt Hall Jub Jub’s Thirst Parlor 255 N. Virginia St., (775) 398-5400 71 S. Wells Ave. CEol IrISH PUB 538 S. Virginia St., (775) 329-5558 384-1652

Comedy

CottonWooD rEStaUrant

10142 Rue Hilltop, Truckee; (530) 587-5711

DaVIDSon’S DIStIllErY 275 E. Fourth St., (775) 324-1917

Carson Comedy Club, Carson City Nugget, 507 N. Carson St., Carson City, (775) 882-1626: Rick Izquieta, Fri-Sat, 8pm, $15 Laugh Factory, Silver Legacy Resort Casino, 407 N. Virginia St., (775) 3257401: Spencer James, Thu, Sun, 7:30pm, $21.95; Fri-Sat, 7:30pm, 9:30pm, $27.45; Jeff Richards, Tue-Wed, 7:30pm, $21.95 LEX at Grand Sierra Resort, 2500 E. Second St., (775) 789-5399: Lance Woods, Fri, 6:30pm, $10 The Library, 134 W. Second St., (775) 683-3308: Open Mic Comedy, Wed, 9:30pm, no cover Pioneer Underground, 100 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-5233: Rudy Ortiz, David Gamble, Thu, 7:30pm, $10-$15; Lance Woods, Fri-Sat, 8:30pm, $15-$20

Nigel St. Hubbins, 8:30pm, no cover

Cole Adams, 9pm, no cover

Richard Blair, 6:30pm, no cover

Kenny Freeman, 6:30pm, no cover

Jeremy Thomas, 6:30pm, no cover

Karaoke with Nightsong Productions, 8pm, no cover

Evil Ash, Working Class Scumbags, 9pm, no cover

Myke Read and The Damn Band, 9pm, no cover

House party with R. Fentz, Jimmy Dirt, Chuck Tyler, Bridges, 9pm, $5

432 E. Fourth St., (775) 409-4431

239 W. Second St., (775) 470-8590

RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing party, Drag Queen Trivia, showcase, 8pm, no cover Panda, 8:30pm, no cover

HEllFIrE Saloon

Bad Penny, 8pm, no cover

Apothic, 8pm, no cover

tHE HollanD ProjECt

Between the Lyrics 3, 6pm, $3-$5

Bloom Youth Open Mic (age 18 and younger), 6pm, $5

599 N. Lake Blvd., Tahoe City; (530) 583-3355 3372 S. McCarran Blvd., (775) 825-1988 140 Vesta St., (775) 742-1858

180 W. Peckham Lane, Ste. 1070, (775) 686-6737

Thursday Night Trivia, 7pm, no cover

jUB jUB’S tHIrSt Parlor 71 S. Wells Ave., (775) 384-1652

Traditional Irish session, 7pm, Tu, Wed. Night Showcase, 7pm, no cover

Post shows online by registerin g at www.newsrev iew. com/reno. D eadline is the Frida y before public ation.

Scarlet Envy, 10pm, $10

Fat Cat Bar & GrIll

jIMMY B’S

MON-WED 4/1-4/3

Space Jesus, BUKU, Huxley Anne, Easybaked, 8pm, W, $25

DEaD rInGEr analoG Bar FaCES nV

SUNDAY 3/31

Trivia Night, 9pm, Tu, no cover

Gymshorts, Tommy and the Tongues, Parallax, 8pm, $5

Open mic with Monsterbug Productions, 9pm, W, no cover

Friday Night Karaoke, 9:30pm, no cover Acid Mothers Temple, Elephant Rifle, Yamantaka, Sonic Titan, 8pm, $15

Pocket Vinyl, Lumbercat, Hardly Mediocre, M, 8pm, $5

Andre Nickatina, 7:30pm, $25

The Limit Club, Grimedog, The Habituals, The Tortured, 7pm, $5

THE UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO DEPARTMENT OF THEATRE AND DANCE PRESENTS

A BODY IN THE O

On April 4, join the department for a free “performance, lecture and rant” entitled A Body in the O by special guest Tim Miller, an award-winning and internationally acclaimed performance artist and writer whose work centers around the artistic, spiritual and political landscape of his identity as a gay man, including issues such as marriage equality and immigration rights.

PERFORMANCE/ BODY/SELF

Students will showcase their theater and dance training in Performance/ Body/Self, a student- developed work for which admission is also free.

A Body In The O

April 4th • 7:30pm - Redfield Studio Theatre, Church Fine Arts Building • Admission Free

Performance/Body/Self

April 6th • 7:30pm - Redfield Studio Theatre, Church Fine Arts Building • Admission Free

775-784-4444 | unr.edu/theatre-dance 03.28.19

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THURSDAY 3/28

FRIDAY 3/29

SATURDAY 3/30

SUNDAY 3/31

MON-WED 4/1-4/3

LAUGHING PLANET CAFE

Jazz Jam Session Wednesdays, 7:30pm, W, no cover

941 N. Virginia St., (775) 870-9633

LIVING THE GOOD LIFE NIGHTCLUB

1480 N. Carson St., Carson City, (775) 841-4663

Cedric & Lora Lucky, 6pm, no cover Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

THE LOFT

Magic Fusion, 7pm, 9pm, $22-$47

1021 Heavenly Village Way, S. L. Tahoe, (530) 523-8024

The Travelin’ McCourys March 30, 10 p.m.

Alibi Ale Works 10069 Bridge St. Truckee (530) 536-5029

Live Jazz Jam Wednesdays, 7:30pm, W, no cover

Magic Fusion, 7pm, $22-$47 Magic After Dark, 9pm, $32-$47

DJ Trivia, 7pm, no cover

MILLENNIUM

Soul Kiss, 8:30pm, no cover

Los Alegres del Barranco, Banda Salvaje, Club Sexy Movimiento, 10pm, $20 Los Ases del Valle, 10pm, $35

MUMMErS

VooDooDogz, 8pm, no cover

906 Victorian Ave., Ste. B, Sparks, (775) 409-3754

PIGNIC PUB & PATIO 235 Flint St., (775) 376-1948

1559 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-8864

rUE BOUrBON

1401 S. Virginia St., (775) 384-6526

T-N-Keys, 7pm, no cover

Hot to Trot: Reno Jazz Syndicate, 10pm, no cover

Beetlejuice’s Dirty 30+1, Solterona, DJ Tigerbunny, 7pm, no cover

Gregory Smith, DJ Iceman, 9pm, no cover

The Heidi Incident, DJ Iceman, 8pm, no cover

Thursday Night Acoustic Series, 6pm, no cover Country Ladies Night, 8pm, no cover

761 S. Virginia St., (775) 221-7451 715 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-4774

Machine Gun Vendetta, Acid Teeth, Donkey Jaw, Murderock, 8:30pm, $5-$6

SPLASH rENO

211 N. Virginia St., (775) 433-1090

wHISkEy DICkS SALOON

2660 Lake Tahoe Blvd., S.L. Tahoe, (530) 544-3425

Eazy Dub, Amahjra, Local Anthology, Melting Elk, 8:30pm, $6-$8 Cherry with DJ Heidalicious, 10pm, $5

340 Kietzke Lane, (775) 686-6681

VIrGINIA STrEET BrEwHOUSE

DG Kicks, 8pm, Tu, no cover DJ Trivia, 1pm, no cover

THE SAINT

SHEA’S TAVErN

Bingo w/T-N-Keys, 6:30pm, Tu, no cover Dave Mensing, 6pm, W, no cover

Spur Crazy, 8pm, no cover

2100 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 378-1643

THE POLO LOUNGE

Magic Fusion, 7pm, M, Tu, W, $22-$47 Motown on Monday, 9pm, M, no cover

188 California Ave., (775) 322-2480 1527 S. Virginia St., (775) 800-1960

March 30, 10 p.m.

Grand Sierra Resort 2500 E. Second St. 789-2000

Magic Fusion, 4:30pm, 7pm, $22-$47 Larry “Bubbles” Brown, 9pm, $25-$30

THE LOVING CUP

MIDTOwN wINE BAr

Waka Flocka Flame

Magic Fusion, 7pm, 9pm, $22-$47

Authmentis, Claymore, 8pm, $5 Back to Prom Night Party, 11pm, $5

Trivia Night hosted by Aubrey Forston, 8pm, no cover

Koffin Kats, The Saturday Knights, Me Time, Jukebox Rebels, 8pm, W, $12-$15 Safari Lounge Wednesdays: DJs Tirxu, Zehbra, 10pm, W, no cover

Soul Kiss, 6pm, $10 Judas Thieves, 9pm, no cover

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ATLANTIS CASINO reSOrT SPA 3800 S. Virginia St., (775) 825-4700 1) Ballroom 2) Cabaret

BOOMTOWN CASINO HOTeL

2100 Garson Rd., Verdi, (775) 345-6000 1) Events Center 2) Guitar Bar

CArSON VALLey INN

Tainted Love March 30, 9 p.m.

Crystal Bay Casino 14 Highway 28 Crystal Bay 833-6333

1627 Hwy. 395, Minden, (775) 782-9711 1) Valley Ballroom 2) Cabaret

CIrCUS CIrCUS reNO

500 N. Sierra St., (775) 329-0711 1) El Jefe’s Cantina 2) Cabaret

THURSDAY 3/28

FRIDAY 3/29

SATURDAY 3/30

SUNDAY 3/31

MON-WED 4/1-4/3

2) The Kid & Nic Show, 8pm,no cover

2) The Kid & Nic Show, 4pm, no cover Soul Persuaders, 10pm, no cover

2) The Kid & Nic Show, 4pm, no cover Soul Persuaders, 10pm, no cover

2) Soul Persuaders, 8pm, no cover

2) Two Way Street, 8pm, M, Tu, W, no cover

2) Jonathan Barton, 6pm, no cover

2) Velvet Duo, 5pm, no cover The Look, 9pm, no cover

2) Velvet Duo, 5pm, no cover The Look, 9pm, no cover

2) Mike Furlong, 6pm, no cover

2) Revival, 7pm, no cover

2) Revival, 8pm, no cover

2) Revival, 8pm, no cover

2) Bill Wharton, 6pm, no cover

2) Bill Wharton, 6pm, M, no cover Jamie Rollins, Tu, W, no cover

2) Fastlane, 9pm, no cover

1) DJ MoFunk, 10pm, no cover 2) Fastlane, 9pm, no cover

1) DJ Chris English, 10pm, no cover 2) Fastlane, 9pm, no cover

2) Wormhole Tahoe: Elevated Mind, Big Delight, 10pm, no cover

1) Tainted Love, 9pm, $25

2) Foam Party, 10pm, $20 3) Bayberry Duo, 6pm, no cover

1) Darcy Lynn & Friends, 7pm, $45 2) Waka Flocka Flame, 10pm, $20 3) Bayberry Duo, 6pm, no cover

1) Kyle Williams, 6pm, M, Tu, W, no cover

CrySTAL BAy CASINO

14 Highway 28, Crystal Bay, (775) 833-6333 1) Crown Room 2) Red Room

Karaoke

GrAND SIerrA reSOrT

Farah & Sons, 1446 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 499-5799: Karaoke with H&T Mobile Productions and DJ Hustler, Sat, 9pm, no cover Pizza Baron, 1155 W. Fourth St., Ste. 113, (775) 329-4481: Wacky Wednesday Karaoke with Steve Starr & DJ Hustler, 9pm, no cover.

The Point, 1601 S. Virginia St., (775) 3223001: Karaoke, Thu-Sat, 8:30pm, no cover Spiro’s Sports Bar & Grille, 1475 E. Prater Way, Ste. 103, Sparks, (775) 356-6000: Karaoke, Fri-Sat, 9pm, no cover West 2nd Street Bar, 118 W. Second St., (775) 348-7976: Karaoke, Mon-Sun, 9pm, no cover

HArrAH’S reNO

2500 E. Second St., (775) 789-2000 1) Grand Theatre 2) LEX 3) Crystal Lounge 219 N. Center St., (775) 786-3232 1) Sammy’s Showroom 2) Plaza

1) The Rat Pack Is Back, 7:30pm, $27-$37 1) The Rat Pack Is Back, 7:30pm, $27-$37 1) The Rat Pack Is Back, 7:30pm, $27-$37

NUGGeT CASINO reSOrT

2) Creedence Clearwater Revisited, 8pm, $45-$85

2) Scooter Brown Band, 8pm, $10-$25

1) Johnzo West & The Wayward Souls, 7pm, no cover

1) Johnzo West & The Wayward Souls, 8pm, no cover 2) Latin Dance Social, 7:30pm, $10-$20

1) Johnzo West & The Wayward Souls, 8pm, no cover 2) Four Color Zack, 10pm, $20

1) Kyle Williams, 6pm, no cover

2) DJ R3volver, 9pm, no cover 3) DJ Mo Funk, 9pm, no cover

1 ) Brett Young, 8pm, $59.95-$74.95 2) Left of Centre, 9pm, no cover 3) Atomika, 9pm, no cover

1 ) Tyler Henry, 8pm, $55.50-$75.50 2) Left of Centre, 9pm, no cover 3) Atomika, 9pm, no cover

3) DJ Mo Funk, 9pm, no cover

1100 Nugget Ave., Sparks, (775) 356-3300 1) Celebrity Showroom 2) Nugget Ballroom

PePPerMILL reSOrT SPA CASINO 2707 S. Virginia St., (775) 826-2121 1) Terrace Lounge 2) Edge 3) Capri Ballroom

SILVer LeGACy reSOrT CASINO

407 N. Virginia St., (775) 325-7401 1) GEH 2) Rum Bullions 3) Silver Baron Lounge

WHEn: Sunday, April 28th

7:30 A.M. Registration Opens 8:15 A.M. Warm Up with Soul Space 8:30 A.M 5K Timed Run 9:15 A.M 5K Walk 10:30 A.M. Raffle/Silent Auction Announced

WHERE: UNR’s Mathewson-IGT Knowledge Center

Raffle and Silent Auction • Vendors Displaying Services/ Products • Kids’ Corner with Bounce Houses, Face Painter, Balloon Twister and More • Hugs n’ Heroes Corner with First Responders and Safety Materials

Wear Your Best “BLOW IT OUT BLUE ” Costume 5K Run/WalK

Early Bird Registration (before March 14th) $25 Registration after March 14 $30 • Day of Event $35

all proceeds benefit local families affected by neurodevelopmental disorders Please visit justinhope.org for more info

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FOR THE WEEK OF MaRcH 28, 2019 For a complete listing of this week’s events or to post events to our online calendar, visit www.newsreview.com.

NEW COINS AT NEVADA STATE MUSEUM: The Reno Coin Club and Nevada State Museum will run the old 1869 coin press.

New U.S. coins will be available, as well a new club medal featuring Eva Adams, U.S. Mint director from 1961-1969. There will also be a display of old U.S. coins. Fri, 3/29, 10am. $8, free for youth ages 17 and younger. Nevada State Museum, 600 N. Carson St., Carson City, (775) 687-4810.

ODONATA ODYSSEY—NEVADA’S DRAGONFLY AND DAMSELFLY DIVERSITY: Odonates,

MaR/29:

WINTERWONDERGRASS

The fifth annual music festival features three days of bluegrass and acoustic roots music acts performing on four stages, as well as tastings of beers from numerous California and Nevada craft breweries. This year’s musical lineup features Greensky Bluegrass (pictured), Trampled by Turtles, Leftover Salmon, Sam Bush Band, ALO, The Travelin’ McCourys and Dead Winter Carpenters, among others. There will also be food trucks, a kids’ zone and yoga classes during the weekend gathering. The fun takes place on Friday, March 29-Sunday, March 31, at Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows, 1960 Squaw Valley Road, Olympic Valley. Tickets are $89-$199. Visit winterwondergrass.com/squaw.

informally known as dragonflies and damselflies, are insects with an aquatic larval stage and a terrestrial adult stage. Marianne Denton, an environmental scientist and aquatic ecologist, will discuss the history of odonates, their diversity over time in Nevada and threats to their habitat.

Sat, 3/30, 10am. Free. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mount Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948.

ORION THE HUNTER: Join the Astronomical Society of Nevada for an exploration of the Orion Constellation, which contains at least 15 celestial objects of interest, including the Flame Nebula, the Horsehead Nebula, the Running Nebula, the Foxhead Nebula and the Great Orion Nebula. A viewing of the stars will occur after the presentation. Please call to confirm attendance. Sat, 3/30, 8pm. Free. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mount Rose Highway, www.facebook.com/GalenaCreekVC.

QUAD MAKERSPACE: The Quad contains

EVENINGS OF POETRY: Bring your original

EVENTS

poetry and favorite poems, or just come to listen. Wed, 4/3, 6pm. Free. Kings Beach Library, 301 Secline St., Kings Beach, (530) 546-2021.

B4BC—SHRED THE LOVE: Start out with Sports Basement Demo Day from 9am-3pm, then join B4BC for the ShredA-Thon open to all ages and abilities.

The tribute ride, raffle and auction will follow. Prizes will be awarded for skills and top fundraisers. The event raises funds for Boarding for Breast Cancer’s education, outreach and survivor support programs. Sat, 3/30, 9am-4pm. $25 rider registration. Alpine Meadows Ski Resort, 12600 Alpine Meadows Road, Olympic Valley, b4bc.org/stl.

GENERAL MEETING SONS & DAUGHTERS OF ERIN: The local chapter of the Sons and Daughters of Erin holds its monthly gathering. Social hour begins at 6pm.

Meeting starts at 6:30pm. Tue, 4/2, 6pm. Free. Ryan’s Saloon, 924 S. Wells Ave., (775) 342-5499, irishnevada.org.

GUIDED HIKE: Enjoy a guided hike through Galena Creek Park with a local specialist.

Please bring appropriate clothing and plenty of water. If there’s enough snow, this will be a snowshoe hike. The hike intensity varies, depending on the audience. Sat, 3/30, 10am. Free. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mount Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948.

BEE CITY QUARTERLY MEETING: Bee City USA’s mission is to galvanize communities to sustain pollinators by providing them with a healthy habitat, rich in a variety of native plants, free of pesticides. This meeting will be held in the Sierra Room and is open to the public to offer their ideas for pollinator-friendly initiatives. Wed, 4/3, 5:30pm. Free. Carson City Community Center, 850 E. William St., Carson City, visitcarsoncity.com.

THE LOST WORLD OF DRAGONS: Discover

CELEBRATE PROGRESS: Senator Kamala Harris is the keynote speaker at this fundraising event, which recognizes Northern Nevada’s progressive leaders, activists, volunteers and organizations.

Tue, 4/2, 6pm. $100. The Union, 302 N. Carson St., Carson City, (702) 900-3665, battlebornprogress.org/celebrateprogress-2019-carson.

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03.28.19

the stories and mythology of dragons throughout history and around the world. The exhibition is open Wednesday-Sunday through May 12. Thu, 3/28-Sun, 3/31, Wed, 4/3, 10am. $9-$10.

Wilbur D. May Museum at Rancho San Rafael Regional Park, 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961, www.facebook.com/ WilburMayCenter.

equipment and tools that the public can use free of charge to create, learn new skills and new technology and practice artistic expression. It is open on Thursday afternoons from 3-6pm.

Quad staff will lead instruction sessions on different tools or equipment each week. Project time ends at 5:45pm so everything can be put away and cleaned up by 6pm. Thu, 3/28, 3pm. Free.

Downtown Reno Library, 301 S. Center St., (775) 327-8300.

RENO 1868 FC: Reno’s professional soccer team plays OKC Energy FC. Sat, 3/30, 5:45pm. $15-$75. Greater Nevada Field, 250 Evans Ave., www.reno1868fc.com.

SPRING BREAK ART CAMP: teaching artists will provide an hour and a half of visual art, a 15-30 minute snack break and an hour of performing art for students ages 6-10. The morning camp takes place 9am-noon, Monday-Friday. There will also be an afternoon camp from 1-4pm Monday-Friday. Art supplies are included in cost. The camp will be held in the Art Studio. Students may bring a mid-morning snack. Mon, 4/1-Wed, 4/3, 9am & 1pm. $125. Lake Mansion, 250 Court St., www.artsforallnevada.org.

SPRING LOADED 5K FUN RUN & BREWFEST: The second annual event features a kick-off party on March 29. The fun run takes place on March 30, followed by the Brewfest, offering beer, spirit and kombucha tastings. Proceeds go to the Sierra Avalanche Center. Fri, 3/29, 3pm; Sat, 3/30, 11am. $25-$35. Heavenly Village, 1001 Heavenly Village Way, South Lake Tahoe, springloaded.tahoesouth.com.

TEDX CARSON CITY: At a TEDx event, TED Talks, videos and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection.

Visit website for a list of TedxCarson City speakers. Fri, 3/29, 9am. $100.

Maizie Harris Jesse Theater, Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King St., Carson City, www.tedxcarsoncity.com.

VICTORIAN DRESSING—WHAT IS UNDER THAT DRESS?: Living History Ladies from Carson City portray historical Nevada women. They will present short vignettes about famous women in Nevada at the turn of the 19th century. They also will proceed to “dress” the women and talk about all the different dresses and layers that were worn and for what reason. Sat, 3/30, 1pm. Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 7874100, events.washoecountylibrary.us.

aRT THE HOLLAND PROJECT: Meshes Video Art. This month’s iteration of Meshes will feature selections and video works

by Brooklyn-based artist Angela Dufresne. Tue, 4/2, 7pm. Free. The Holland Project, 140 Vesta St., (775) 742-1858.

JOT TRAVIS BUILDING, STUDENT GALLERIES: BFA 2 Exhibition. A thesis exhibition of art by bachelor of fine arts students Hanna Huntley and Ally Messer. The art is on display Monday-Thursday, April 1-11. Mon, 4/1-Wed, 4/3, noon-4pm. Free.

Jot Travis Building, Student Galleries, University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.

NORTHWEST RENO LIBRARY: Spring Thaw.

Sierra Watercolor Society presents its latest exhibition of original watercolor paintings by local artists. Thu, 3/28-Sat, 3/30, Mon, 4/1-Wed, 4/3, 10am. Free.

Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, www.sierrawatercolorsociety.com.

ONSTaGE THE CASE OF THE MALTED FALCON: Lollipop Productions present this murder mystery dinner event. Private Eye Samantha Club is in hot chocolate, um, hot water when the priceless, edible chocolate sculpture she’s guarding is stolen from the train as it travels across the country to the Gallery of Amazing Art in New York City. Can she find the missing Malted Falcon sculpture before someone is ruthlessly murdered to derail the investigation? Fri, 3/28-Sat, 3/23, 5:45pm. $37.95. Gold Dust West Hotel and Casino, 2171 Highway 50 East, Carson City, (775) 781-0664.

DISNEY’S WINNIE THE POOH, KIDS: Wild Horse Children’s Theater presents its production based on the beloved characters of A.A. Milne’s books and the 2011 Disney animated feature film. Fri,

3/29, 7pm; Sat, 3/30, 2pm & 7pm, Sun, 3/31, 2pm. $5-$12. Brewery Arts Center

Performance Hall, 511 W. King St., Carson City, (775) 440-1170.

END DAYS: Restless Artists Theatre presents Deborah Zoe Laufer’s comedy.

Sixteen year-old Rachel Stein is having a bad year. Her father hasn’t changed out of his pajamas since 9/11. Her mother has begun a close, personal relationship with Jesus. Her new neighbor, a 16-year-old Elvis impersonator, has fallen for her hard. And the Apocalypse is coming Wednesday. Her only hope is that Stephen Hawking will save them all. Thu, 3/28-Sat, 3/29, 7:30pm; Sun, 3/31, 2pm. $8-$20. Restless Artists Theatre, 295 20th St., Sparks, (775) 525-3074, www.rattheatre.org.

JOSEPH & RALPH ALESSI WITH THE UNR TROMBONE CHOIR: Trombonist Joseph Alessi and trumpet player Ralph Alessi will perform with the Department of Music’s trombone ensemble. Fri, 3/29, 7:30pm. $0-$7. University Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.

LUZ—AN EVENING OF FLAMENCO: Dancer Savannah Fuentes performs with guitarist Pedro Cortes and percussionist Jose Moreno. Sun, 3/31, 7pm. $15-$30.

Pioneer Underground, 100 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-5233.

RENO CHAMBER ORCHESTRA: The RCO concludes its 2018-2019 season with a concert featuring guest conductor Robert Franz, music director of the Windsor Symphony and Fairbanks Summer Arts Festival Orchestra. Pianist Steven Vanhauwaert will perform with the orchestra in Franck’s Symphonic Variations, and will join the University of Nevada, Reno Symphonic Choir and Chamber Singers in Beethoven’s Choral Fantasy. The program will also feature works by Ravel and Brahms. Sat, 3/30, 7:30pm; Sun, 3/31, 2pm. $5-$55.

Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 348-9413.

SUDS—THE ROCKING ’60s MUSICAL SOAP OPERA: Carson Valley Community Theatre presents his high-energy musical written by Melinda Gilb, Steve Gunderson and Bryan Scott. Fri, 3/28-Sat, 3/29, 7:30pm; Sun, 3/31, 2pm. $16-$20. The CVIC Hall, 1602 Esmeralda Ave., Minden, www.facebook.com/cvctheatre.

VIOLET SHARP: Set against the backdrop of one of America’s most notorious crimes—the 1932 Lindbergh kidnapping case—Violet Sharp is about a British domestic servant who is suspected of committing the crime of the century. Sat, 3/29, 7:30pm; Sun, 3/31, 2pm. $15-$25. Reno Little Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., renolittletheater.org.

THE WOLVES: Good Luck Macbeth presents Sarah DeLappe’s play. A girls indoor soccer team warms up. From the safety of their suburban stretch circle, the team navigates big questions and wages tiny battles with all the vim and vigor of a pack of adolescent warriors. A portrait of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for nine American girls who just want to score some goals. Thu, 3/28Sat, 3/30, 7:30pm. $18-$20. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 124 W. Taylor St., www.goodluckmacbeth.org.

by AMY ALKON

Crone’s disease I’m a straight, single woman nearing 50. My best friends are a lesbian couple. I’m going to get some nonsurgical skin tightening on my face, and they got very judgmental about it: “We think you’re beautiful as you are.” Next, it was “What if it goes wrong?” and “Will you keep getting procedures till you don’t look like you?” I ended up crying and then getting really angry. First of all, it’s my face.

Secondly, I don’t think they understand the pressure on straight, single women to look young and beautiful. Thirdly, I think my friends should support me in my decisions even if they don’t agree with them. Am I wrong?

I do understand the desire for dermatological intervention—in lieu of a little windup thingy behind your neck that you could crank to tighten the face flesh. That said, your friends probably feel they have a right to tell you what to do—probably because they’re trying to look out for you. The problem is, criticizing people doesn’t make them want to change—it makes them want to clobber the person doing the criticizing.

This happens because our brain’s threat response system is a little primitive. A central player in it is the amygdala—a pair of lima beanshaped neuron clusters—which makes split-second decisions about whether we’re in danger.

Unfortunately, to your amygdala, an attack is an attack—which is to say, a verbal attack triggers the same bodily responses as a physical attack. Your adrenaline surges, your heart pumps like crazy, and blood gets shunted away from your reasoning center and to your extremities. This gets you into the perfect bodily state to bolt or punch your attacker in the nose—a state that’s not exactly helpful for one’s social survival.

Tell your friends that it means a lot that they care about you, but that their context—as two nesting lesbians—is not your context as a single, straight woman careening toward 50.

Explain that you want their advice on your appearance only if you ask for it. You could also ask them to be supportive of you—even if they aren’t on board with the steps you’re taking—simply on the grounds that you’re trying to improve yourself and go after what you want.

Worst-chase scenario I’m a guy, and I’ve noticed that many women (at cafes, etc.) give me flirtatious looks, suggesting they’re interested in me, yet they never approach me. Why don’t they just come over and say hi and get my number and call me or message me?

It isn’t hard to get a woman to chase you. Just grab her purse and take off down the street.

However, as a dude, if you’re looking for dates or a relationship, you should plan on doing the chasing rather than the waiting.

“Males chase/females choose” evolved to be kind of a thing across species—those in which the females get stuck with the greater share of child production and caretaking (“parental investment,” in anthro terms). As evolutionary scientists Peter K. Jonason and Norman Li explain in their research on playing hard to get, “the sex that bears the greater obligation to offspring is the more choosy sex (females in most species) and will put the opposite sex (usually males) through ‘tests’ for access.”

Keep in mind that many men will have sex with a woman they aren’t all that interested in simply because she pursues them. (In guy terms: “My wrist is tired. You’ll do.”) In line with this, Jonason and Li’s research finds that women benefit from playing hard to get in a way men do not. A woman who refrains from pursuing a man “may increase her perceived value” in his eyes and motivate him to work harder to pursue her. “In contrast,” they write, “men who limit their availability may pay heavier costs than women will through the loss of potential mating opportunities.”

As for what this means for you, waiting for women to ask for your digits and blow up your phone with calls and texts is a fantastic idea—if your mail comes addressed to Chris Hemsworth, 26 Movie Star Ave. Ω

ERIK HOLLAND

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

03.28.19 | RN&R | 25

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Sesame Street is the world’s most famous puppet. He has recorded songs, starred in films and TV shows and written an autobiography. His image has appeared on postage stamps, and he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Kermit’s beginnings were humble, however. When his creator Jim Henson first assembled him, he consisted of Henson’s mom’s green coat and two halves of a white ping pong ball. I mention this because the current astrological omens suggest that you, too, could make a puppet that will one day have great influence. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. Here’s the whole truth: Now isn’t a favorable time to start work on a magnificent puppet. But it is a perfect moment to launch the rough beginnings of a project that’s well-suited for your unique talents.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus businessman Chuck Feeney made a huge fortune as the entrepreneur who co-developed duty-free shopping.

But at age 87, he lives frugally, having given $8 billion to philanthropic causes. He doesn’t even own a house or car. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to follow his lead in the coming weeks. Be unreasonably generous and exorbitantly helpful. APRIL FOOL! I exaggerated a bit.

While it’s true that now is an extra favorable time to bestow blessings on everyone, you shouldn’t go overboard. Make sure your giving is artful, not careless or compulsive.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Now is a perfect time to start learning the Inuktitut language spoken by the indigenous people of Eastern Canada. Here are some key phrases to get you underway. 1.

UllusiuKattagit inosek! Celebrate your life! 2. Pitsialagigavit, piggogutivagit! Because you’re doing amazing things, I’m proud of you! 3. Nalligijauvutit!

You are loved! 4. Kajusitsiatuinnagit! Keep it up!

APRIL FOOL! I lied. Now isn’t really a better time than any other to learn the Inuktitut language. But it is an important time to talk to yourself using phrases like those I mentioned. You need to be extra kind and super positive toward yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): When he was 20 years old, Greek military leader Alexander the Great began to conquer the world. By age 30, he ruled the vast territory between Greece and northwest India. Never shy about extolling his own glory, he named 70 cities after himself. I offer his example as a model for you. Now is a favorable time to name clouds after yourself, as well as groves of trees, stretches of highway, buses, fire hydrants, parking spaces and rocks. APRIL FOOL. I got a bit carried away. It’s true that now is a good time to assert your authority, extend your clout and put your unique stamp on every situation. But I don’t recommend that you name entire cities after yourself.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Now is an excellent time to join an exotic religion. How about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which believes that true spiritual devotion requires an appreciation of satire? Or how about Discordianism, which worships the goddess of chaos and disorder?

Then there’s the United Church of Bacon, whose members exult in the flavor of their favorite food. (Here’s a list of more: tinyurl.com/ WeirdReligions.) APRIL FOOL! I wasn’t entirely truthful. It’s accurate to say that now is a great time to reinvigorate and transform your spiritual practice. But it’s better if you figure that out by yourself. There’s no need to get your ideas from a bizarre cult.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Studies show that people who love grilled cheese sandwiches engage in more sexual escapades than those who don’t.

So I advise you to eat a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches, because then you will have more sex than usual. And that’s important, because you are now in a phase when you will reap huge healing benefits from having as much sex as possible.

APRIL FOOL! I lied when I implied that eating more grilled cheese sandwiches would motivate you to have more sex. But I wasn’t lying when I said that you should have more sex than usual. And I wasn’t lying when I said you will reap huge benefits from having as much sex as possible. (P.S. If you don’t

have a partner, have sex with your fantasies or yourself.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you ever spend time at

the McMurdo Station in Antarctica, you’ll get a chance to become a member of the 300 Club. To be eligible, you wait until the temperature outside drops to minus 100 degrees Fahrenheit. When it does, you spend 20 minutes in a sauna heated to 200 degrees. Then you exit into the snow and ice wearing nothing but white rubber boots, and run a few hundred feet to a ceremonial pole and back.

In so doing, you expose your naked body to a swing of 300 degrees. According to my astrological analysis, now is an ideal time to pull off this feat. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I’m not really urging you to join the 300 Club. On the other hand, I do think it’s a favorable phase to go to extremes for an authentically good cause.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scientific research shows

that if you arrange to get bitten by thousands of mosquitoes in a relatively short time, you make yourself immune. Forever after, mosquito bites won’t itch you. Now would be an excellent time for you to launch such a project. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I don’t really think you should do that. On the contrary. You should scrupulously avoid irritations and aggravations, especially little ones. Instead, immerse yourself in comfort and ease. Be as free from vexation as you have ever been!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If allowed to do what

comes naturally, two rabbits and their immediate descendants will produce 1,300 new rabbits in 12 months. In five years, their offspring would amount to 94 million. I suspect that you will approach this level of fertility in the next four weeks, at least in a metaphorical sense. APRIL FOOL! I stretched the truth a bit. There’s no way you will produce more than a hundred good new ideas and productions and gifts. At the most, you’ll generate a mere 50.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The weather is warm

year-round and the crime rate is low on Pitcairn, a remote South Pacific island that is a 30-hour boat ride away from the nearest airport. The population has been dwindling in recent years, however, which is why the government offers foreigners free land if they choose to relocate.

You might want to consider taking advantage of this opportunity. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating.

It’s true that you could get major health benefits by taking a sabbatical from civilization. But there’s no need to be so drastic about it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You don’t have to run

faster than the bear that’s chasing you. You just have to run faster than the slowest person the bear is chasing. OK? So don’t worry! APRIL FOOL! What I just said wasn’t your real horoscope. I hope you know me well enough to understand that I would never advise you to save yourself by betraying or sacrificing someone else. It’s also important to note that the bear I mentioned is entirely metaphorical in nature. However, I do want you to know that there are effective ways to elude the symbolic bear that are also honorable.

To discover them, meditate on calming down the beastly bear-like qualities in yourself.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now is a favorable

time to disguise yourself as a bland nerd with no vivid qualities, or a shy wallflower with no strong opinions, or a polite wimp who prefers to avoid adventure. Please don’t even consider doing anything that’s too interesting or controversial.

APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, I hope you’ll do the opposite of what I suggested. I think it’s time to express your deep, authentic self with aggressive clarity. Be brave and candid and enterprising.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785.

And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at realastrology.com.

by KRis VAgNER

Super Vegan

dishes which are not on the menu.

So, they just need to expose those good vegan dishes.

Gehn Shibayama earned the nickname “Super Vegan” in 2018 by eating a vegan diet for the entire 188 days it took him to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. He’s an organizer of VegNV, a Reno-Sparks vegetarian group, and runs the Reno Vegan Chef Challenge, along with vegan nutrition expert Kelly Farrell. The month-long event started in Sacramento in 2011.

For the Reno version, chefs at 33 restaurants will add vegan dishes to their menus for the month of April.

Diners are invited to rate these dishes at renoveganchefchallenge. com through April 30.

Would you list some dishes that chefs came up with in Reno?

We asked our vegan community for recommendations about which restaurants they want to see more vegan options [in]. We also looked at Yelp and also Google reviews and found all the good restaurants. We visited about 70 restaurants.

Were the chefs receptive?

The response really varied. Sometimes we didn’t get to talk with owner or chef at all. And sometimes, small places actually, we were able to talk to the chef or owner at the first meeting. … I went to Sacramento three times to do the research. I spent about 10 days. I

PHOTO/KRIS VAGNER

How did you go about contacting Reno chefs?

Moroccan cauliflower couscous served with harissa. Vegan chocolate cake with strawberry confit and coconut chantilly.

went to 15, 16 restaurants and talked to the chefs, took a lot of pictures of their menus and foods. I showed the pictures to chefs in Reno, and it really helped them to see how seriously restaurants [in Sacramento] are taking Vegan Chef Challenge.

What were some of the foods you showed them pictures of?

Some Mexican food, vegan tamales and also vegan curry, tofu scrambles, artichoke hearts.

After a chef signs up, does your group work with them on recipe development? Or do you provide them with any info or resources?

They’re on their own. … A lot of restaurants actually told me they get vegan requests all the time, so they already have some good vegan

You hiked 2,650 miles on the PCH, eating only a vegan diet. What was your favorite food to eat during that trip?

My favorite food was coconut milk powder. ... My typical dinner was dehydrated rice plus dehydrated vegetables, which I cook in my pot, and I add a protein called TVP, or textured vegetable protein. I use this to make a soup. But it’s just a soup. It doesn’t really taste good, so I put the coconut milk powder in it, and it makes the soup really rich and creamy. Every night, I looked forward to it.

If people in Reno want to learn more, where should they look?

Go to the website. I wrote a FAQ. A very common misunderstanding is, it’s like an Iron Chef, where chefs come to one event location and just cook, and only selected guests can eat those dishes.

That’s not Vegan Chef Challenge at all.

Vegan Chef Challenge menus are offered at each participating restaurant, and everybody can go to those restaurants and taste it, and then rate those dishes. ... So everybody’s a judge. Ω

by BRUCE VAN DYKE

The rest of the report It happens once in a while. I’ll read my column when it comes out in the physical paper and immediately realize I blew it. Blew it in the sense that I left something important out.

This instance, I’m referring to last week’s piece about the outrageous prison sentence given to Elko county teacher Tennille Whitaker.

Because as soon as I read it, two words leaped into my mind’s eye, two words that had they been included would have more completely made my whole point. Those two words being “Jeffrey Epstein.” If you know the story of this Floridian sex creep, you know exactly what I mean.

• Of course it sucked that Mueller didn’t bust Trump and his asshole children. Enormously! If Vegas had established an over/under line for a total of Mueller indictments of Prez Capone, with the number set at 10, I would have taken the over.

All day long! Slam dunk, dude. So, yes, I’m lucky no such action was available. Saved me some kaish!

Mueller quote. “...while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

Clear, plain and to the point. Right?

So how does Dum Dum respond?

Predictably, he lies his lying ass off.

And tweets about total exoneration. He can’t stop himself. He can’t help it. The jerk of jerks.

Obviously, there’s one thing that must be done. The Mueller Report needs to be released to Congress. And to us. Period. It’s the only way to settle this dust up. It’s the easiest way to settle it. It’s the fairest way. Turn the table, Trumplodytes. If President Hillary had received this dumbed down Cliff Note from her attorney general Chuck Schumer, and had instantly and loudly proclaimed her complete exoneration, you

Repubs know you would have screamed bloody murder until you got the full report. There’s no way you’re gonna trust Schumer’s condensed interpretation, right? So how do you expect us Dems to trust this slop from Barr, who applied for the AG gig last summer by writing some fawning memo to Trump about how a president can’t be popped for obstruction because he’s such a stable genius or some such shit.

Trump scarfed it up, and gee, lo and behold, nine months later, look who’s the AG of the USA? Gosh, how totally convenient!

It’s total fuckin bullshit. In the meantime, we’ll amuse ourselves with Tales of Individual One. And Deutschebank. And the Moscow Trump Tower. And emoluments.

And the ridiculous Trump Foundation. And the sexual lawsuits. And the neverending torrent of lies, lies, lies. Ω

03.28.19

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