R 2015 03 26 by News & Review

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Panama read

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Welcome to this week’s Reno News & Review. Whirlwind tour of Panama last week. Left on Sunday, back on Sunday. This trip was a little different for me, as Kelly and I were based in a major city. We were there for eating, drinking and shopping, so we primarily spent time in the more touristy areas. We really only got to hang out on the beach and in the rural areas for one full day out of the five, which was fine, and much closer to the kind of Central and South American experience that keeps drawing me back. Panama City is unlike anywhere I’ve been. It’s pretty easy to tell the United States went in and destroyed the country’s culture and environment—in that way that insatiable capitalist greed always does—when we created the country’s primary economy with our canal. It has amazing skyscrapers and mostly safe streets and crazy traffic. Think of it as libertarianism run amok. With little regulation, if you’re looking at it from a foreign investment standpoint, it’s a huge opportunity. You can get in, make your money and get out. That’s, of course, how many people treat the city and its inhabitants. Even the panameños seem to get in on the act, in that entitled way Americans behave compared to working foreigners. The influence of Colombian money, too, is very evident. Banking is huge in Panama City. I mean huge. But, except for some very touchy college spring breakers, I saw no sign of drug use. This was probably in part because of the ubiquitous presence of city police, the presidential police in Casco Viejo, and private security guards. Another reason for this is because the poorest of panameños are corralled into a slum called Chorrillo. If I had a couple hundred thousand bucks laying around, I’d be buying tenements in Chorrillo, because it’s adjacent to Casco Viejo, where apartments are selling for $250,000-$1 million range for up to 2,000 square feet. The writing’s all over the walls down there. Generally a blast. I’ll tell you a bit more next week.

Re “Algae blues” (Green, Feb. 26): The funny thing with the Virginia Lake problem is that the chemicals in the bird waste are a gardener’s dream and as long as the water is circulated and the chemicals head down stream fast enough, the water will be perfect for farms and gardens. If the water sits anywhere without a healthy biome to consume the chemicals, the algae will grow. Ironically, the core problem is probably that there isn’t enough biology to deal with the sudden burst of biological inputs from the birds. There are plants which can be added to the lake and shore which will uptake a lot of these chemicals ... and if we’re smart they could also produce food for humans, fish and birds in the process. Scott Reimers Reno

Smart water When it comes to conserving and managing water—our most precious resource—it is imperative that our elected officials exercise greater foresight. Consider flood control. The preferred downtown flood plan— fixated on trapped debris—recommends replacing five bridges for $100 million. What would we get? The Center Street Bridge, replaced in 1998, would be replaced again. So would the bridges at Sierra and Lake Streets. A new Virginia Street Bridge would have a disappointing design. And Booth Street Bridge would become a pedestrian bridge. There goes $100 million down the drain! Yet sensible solutions exist at a lower cost, including: • Creating more upstream storage. Look at Lake Tahoe (perhaps one inch higher for 24 hours, to start with) and then move on downstream with more ideas. • Implementing a debris sweep (to get rid of that problematic debris) perhaps at Mayberry Park. • Lengthening the Riverwalk by extending it under Virginia Street and beyond, as intended—boosting recreation and allowing more flow in times of flood. I call on Mayor

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Schieve and members of the City Council to be part of a wise and fiscally responsible water conservation and flood control solution. Toni Harsh Reno

Extrajudicial executions Re “Priests and cops” (Notes from the Neon Babylon, Feb. 26): It’s too bad you couldn’t have been there to reel in those lawless cops when they confronted the suspect throwing rocks at cars in an intersection. I also wish you could have been there after the officers “tased the guy,” because, well, you knew they must have missed since it “didn’t seem to have much effect.” Maybe, you could have tackled the guy while effortlessly dodging rocks being thrown at you. (Everyone knows rocks thrown at shorter distances hurt less than rocks thrown from farther away.) Or if he was already running away, maybe you could have fired your gun into the air—those bullets never return to earth—to, you know, scare him into surrendering ... or if that didn’t work, you could shoot at the guy’s legs— they do that in cartoons all the time, because bullets never ricochet. On second thought, I guess we should all be thankful that newspaper columnists aren’t answering those calls and causing even more collateral damage. Richard Copp Reno

Government’s job Re “Harry brings home the green bacon” (Let Freedom Ring, Feb. 26): Two problems with “Harry brings home the green bacon.” First, “let the markets work” for blue jeans or consumer electronics, but in matters critical to our survival we cannot depend on industries whose mandate is maximizing quarterly profits, rather than planning for the next 100 years. Free-marketer Adam Smith writes in Wealth of Nations that government has “the duty of erecting and maintaining certain public works ... because the profit could

Editor/Publisher D. Brian Burghart News Editor Dennis Myers Arts Editor Brad Bynum Special Projects Editor Georgia Fisher Calendar Editor Kelley Lang Contributors Amy Alkon, Woody Barlettani, Bob Grimm, Ashley Hennefer, Sheila Leslie, Eric Marks, Jessica Santina, Todd South, Brendan Trainor, Bruce Van Dyke, Allison Young

—D. Brian Burghart

Creative Director Priscilla Garcia Art Director Hayley Doshay Junior Art Director Brian Breneman Ad Design Manager Serene Lusano Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Design Melissa Bernard, Brad Coates, Kyle Shine Advertising Consultants Joseph “Joey” Davis, Gina Odegard, Bev Savage, Jessica Wilson Senior Classified Advertising Consultant Olla Ubay Operations Coordinator Nanette Harker Kelly Miller

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never repay the expense, though it may frequently do much more than repay it to a great society.” Hence we have, for example, the transcontinental railroad, public higher education, Hoover Dam, BART, and Medicare—all essential to modern society and pushed forward by elected leaders who, like Kitzhaber and Reid, had their flaws and helped their friends, no differently from any Republican, and who were criticized in their day for pork-barrel politics even as they planned for our future. Secondly, the columnist shows unfamiliarity with science by confusing weather with climate. The East Coast may experience record cold in February, but annual global temperature averages continue to climb. It’s like arguing that I-95 has no traffic problems because U.S. 395 in Reno was flowing freely one day. David Fenimore Reno

Don’t change PERS I am a Washoe County employee with concerns about Assembly Bill 190. I don’t support its proposed changes to Nevada’s Public Employees Retirement System (PERS). Bringing retirement money with us between employers sounds nice. In reality, most of us joined government for stability. PERS is solvent. Steps were taken to ensure its future. The fact that this bill makes it easier to change jobs will hurt the county. With retirement attrition high, we’ve lost knowledge for how the government works. Bringing in new employees would be great if they’d stay. Training new employees regarding statutes that we need to follow to make sure we satisfy our responsibilities as a county is already challenging. The proposed bill will make it more daunting and more expensive for us all. By getting rid of the primary lure for people to work for government with AB 190, you are helping to dismantle the government from the inside. That does not help the people who depend on us for everything from meals to safety. Helping one another is what employees at Washoe County do. We

Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Manager Anthony Clarke Distribution Drivers Sandra Chhina, Steve Finlayson, Debbi Frenzi, Vicky Jewell, Angela Littlefield, Joe Medeiros, Ron Neill, Christian Shearer, Marty Troye, Warren Tucker, Gary White, Joseph White, Margaret Underwood General Manager/Publisher John D. Murphy President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Chief Operations Officer Deborah Redmond Human Resource Manager Tanja Poley Business Manager Grant Rosenquist

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are “do-gooders,” but need to live. We are not the bad guys. We seek to be treated with fairness, respect and dignity. Barbara Arbogast Reno

Park place Re “Algae blues” (Green, Feb. 26): I would like to see more and broader research about Virginia Lake Park. In the 15 years I have lived one-half a block away, I have watched the entire park deteriorate. The lake’s health is not separate from its surroundings and its human, canine and avian users. The island used to have large trees! The park covers nearly 32 acres, about 90 percent of which are water, leaving only three acres of dry land for walking and playing. I suspect that this means that this park has more people per square foot of dry land than any other in Reno. Projects to restore eroded paths were never completed. Redesigning and replanting the southwest open area created less public space than before, over citizens’ objections. I have often suggested to the city’s Parks and Recreation Department that public input be sought and advertised in Spanish as well as in English, to reflect the cultural makeup of groups who use the park. I have been ignored. As for the lake itself, is there less water inflow due only to drought, or has water been diverted to more favored parks, such as Idlewild and others (all with their huge wet lawns) up along the Truckee? Are fewer resources given to Virginia Lake Park, because of the demographics (low income) of its users? Will the park deteriorate faster when that gigantic housing complex is occupied? (That project removed a huge number of healthy trees.) Once I met an old man who grew up around here, who told me that when he was younger, Virginia Lake was emptied every year, and cleaned of what lay beneath: trash, pollutants, garbage, shopping carts, cars. Valerie P. Cohen Reno

Business Nicole Jackson, Kortnee Angel Sweetdeals Coordinator Courtney deShields Nuts & Bolts Ninja Christina Wukmir Lead Technology Synthesist Jonathan Schultz Senior Support Tech Joe Kakacek Developer John Bisignano System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins 405 Marsh Ave., Third Floor Reno, NV 89509 Phone (775) 324-4440 Fax (775) 324-4572 Classified Fax (916) 498-7940 Mail Classifieds to classifieds@newsreview.com

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Cover and Feature story design: Brian Breneman

MARCH 26, 2015

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SUNDAY NIGHT MOVIE NIGHT!

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Join us for Sunday night movie night. Kick back and relax while watching a flick. Enjoy our drink specials! Su, 6PM through 7/5, no charge. Elbow Room Bar, 2002 Victorian Ave. (775) 3569799

CROCHET CONNECTION

Come in and enjoy the band Musicole with Michael C! F, 3/27, 9PM, no cover. Sparks Lounge, 1237 Baring Blvd. (775) 4093340

JUSTUS

Learn to crochet or share tips with other crochet enthusiasts. Th, 4-5:45PM, free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway. (775) 424-1800

Enjoy the music of JustUs. Sa, 3/28, 9PM, no cover. Sparks Lounge, 1237 Baring Blvd. (775) 409-3340

FOUR SEASONS BOOK CLUB

This is a singer-songwriter showcase. Come down to Paddy’s and bring your acoustic instruments. Sign-ups are at 7:30PM and music begins at 8PM. Drink Specials all night! Th, 8PM, through 9/25, no cover. Paddy & Irene’s Irish Pub, 906-A Victorian Ave. (775) 358-5484

The book club meets the first Saturday of each month. Call to find out each month’s book title. First Sa of every month, 1-2PM, free. Sparks Library, 1125 12th St. (775) 352-3200

CONVERSATION CAFE

The drop-in conversation program meets on the first Saturday of each month, 2-4PM, free. Sparks Library, 1125 12th St. (775) 352-3200

CLICKETS KNITTING GROUP

This class is for knitters of all ages and levels. Yarn and needles are available. First and Third Su of every month, 1:30-3PM, free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, Spanish Springs (775) 424-1800

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march 26, 2015

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Join us for a rocking good time every Tuesday for Karaoke Night. Tu, 6:30PM through 7/7, no cover. Elbow Room Bar, 2002 Victorian Ave. (775) 356-9799 Tu, 8PM, no cover. Morelli’s G Street Saloon, 2285 G St. (775) 355-8281

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Th-Sa, 9PM, no cover. Bottom’s Up Saloon, 1923 Prater Way (775) 359-3677

by Dennis Myers

This ModErn World

by tom tomorrow

Have you experienced April fooling? Asked at the University of Nevada, Reno Student Union John Vivero Biochemistry student

This was a long time ago, back in high school. A friend came up to me and told me that I was being called over to the office to speak with the principal. I said, “Really? Did I do something wrong?” I started walking over and about the time I got halfway there, he stopped me— “It’s an April Fool’s joke.”

Brett Chaney English student

When I was in third or fourth grade, my dad had one of those dissecting frogs, and he put it in my sink. I went up to it and started pushing it. Then I went and got my sister. She screamed.

Stephanie Watkins Psychology student

Water wisely twice a day

When I was still living with my parents, my dad set my clock four hours ahead on an exam day. That I definitely was not prepared for.

economically advantaged survive? It’s very similar to Every year, April 1 rolls around, and we here at the the education debate that crops up every two years with world headquarters of the Weekly World News & a new Nevada Legislature: We need a fractured playing Review find ourselves striving to say something that’s field, otherwise there is no ensuring that the right people both profound and necessary in our editorial. This year, win in the end. In other words, if we don’t make it we’ve discovered, after in-depth investigation—which included but did not extend beyond polling the members difficult for people with fewer economic and educational benefits, why would they ever leave, thus increasing the of the editorial staff—that there is a problem with the percentage of wealthy people in our state? water in the Truckee Meadows. Rather than using the So, in the interest of providing the most water natural resource to beautify our living environment by resource to the people most willing to pay for it, we’ve filling the river, watering lawns and flinging it high in the air for delightful water features and fountains, selfish got some suggestions. More industry, particularly and shortsighted folks are installing manufacturing. It’s plain that Tesla zeroscaping and low-flow toilets, and will be innovating with creative uses “conserving” for some unforeseeable of water. With the company’s new future. Liberal government programs This is absurd. plan for taking the driving out of the like the Truckee Meadows Water hands of humans, there may even be a Authority go as far as to request a 10 way to further diminish human use in percent reduction in consumption. order to enhance industrial potential. This is absurd. More homes in the south and north. Obviously, Let’s get one thing straight, people. Water is a usethe farther from the source—the Truckee River—that it-or-lose-it resource. If we here in Northern Nevada throw it away on cacti, “conservation” and 2-liters-a-day the development occurs, the more infrastructure will be required, and not only that, but distance means human consumption, it will be unavailable to be used decreased efficiency! It seems like it’s been awhile in ways that benefit the community, like the building of since we heard from the Winnemucca Ranch (also new subdivisions for Tesla employees, oil fracking in Eastern Nevada, or even for export to the Nestle bottling called Sprawl Ranch and Spring Mountain) people. That land is about as desolate as it gets. Families there will plants in California. require huge water investments just to get their lawns How can we continue to move forward to our established. dreams of an economic paradise based on bootstrap It’s about protecting families, people. Can we get entrepreneurs when we don’t create the sort of circumtogether on this? Ω stances that ensure that only the strongest and most

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Rachel Redding Wildlife ecology student

I sprayed my boyfriend with Silly String as he came out of martial arts training.

Maria Casey Journalism student

I have not, but I’ve known some friends who have been pranked, like their phone gets taken away and is hidden.

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Revenue roulette begins at the Legislature A veterans home in Northern Nevada. A major expansion in services to children with autism. Social workers in schools to deal with bullying, teen suicide and other mental health concerns. Only in Nevada would we consider these initiatives too good to be true and be surprised they’re included in by Gov. Sandoval’s proposed budget for Sheila Leslie the next two years. But the only way these worthy services will transform from dream to reality is if Nevada joins 47 other states in agreeing to a broad-based business tax. The governor’s long awaited revenue bill, Senate Bill 252, was presented in a marathon hearing last week that every legislator was invited to attend. Sandoval is proposing an increase in the business license fee, based on gross receipts, to make it easier to collect and presumably fairer than other recent proposals. It would increase the current flat fee of $200 per year for each business regardless of size, to different levels based on revenue and the type of industry. It’s estimated the new fees will raise $437 million over the biennium.

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In the Nevada tradition of saying “no” immediately to any glimmer of a business tax, Lyle Brennan, publisher of Nevada Business Magazine, penned an editorial comparing Sandoval to the emperor with no clothes. He stated Sandoval is “either anti-business or simply doesn’t understand how business works” and said the governor is “woefully unprepared when it comes to realistically dealing with issues that businesses face post-recession.” But in a refreshing change of pace, the Las Vegas Global Economic Alliance issued a statement before the hearing in support of the governor’s proposal, acknowledging the state budget must have additional revenue to meet his education priority goals. And they were honest about the reason many businesses refuse to move to Nevada—our poor educational outcomes. At the highly-orchestrated hearing on SB 252, additional business groups came to the table to support the governor, including representatives of the powerful Nevada Resort Association, who noted that casinos

expect to pay about 58 percent of the new revenue. IGT, Switch, hospitals, taxi companies, mining, contractors and subcontractors all supported the new tax plan along with a bipartisan group of three former Nevada governors. The Wolfgang Puck Group even brought pizza to the committee. Opposition to the bill came from the usual suspects who are consistently against any version of a broad-based business tax—the Nevada Policy Research Institute, the retailers and the truckers. No one knows exactly what the 63 people charged with voting on a new revenue plan for Nevada will do in the end. Despite the superb organization of the initial hearing by the governor’s people, including live tweeting on the governor’s Twitter account thanking each of his supporters as they testified, there are a number of signs of a rocky road ahead. Several days before the hearing, Douglas County Republican Assemblymember Jim Wheeler introduced his own bill, Assembly Bill 323, to eliminate the business license fee

altogether. Three Democratic Senators introduced S.B. 378, a bill to abolish the Modified Business Tax (MBT) and replace it with a new fee on gross receipts over $25,000. Assembly Republicans made it known they were working on their own plan to raise the existing MBT, which only 4 percent of Nevada businesses pay. And the Assembly Democrats seem focused on improving the entertainment tax. These alternatives may all be negotiating chips in the final budget deal or they may be designed to create enough chaos to ensure no new tax plan gets passed. The Las Vegas Metro Chamber of Commerce was noticeably absent from the governor’s supporters. Their reasons? “More study is needed,” “the devil is in the details,” and a demand for “more educational reforms.” Pick your favorite shibboleth. No worries, chamber members. It’s only Nevada’s future at stake. Ω

Here’s a link to a downloadable pdf of the governor’s budget recommendations:nv. gov/uploadedFiles/ budgetnvgov/content/ StateBudget/ 2016-2017/ Nevada_Executive_ Budget_2015-2017.pdf

Quoth the raven Infrared spy cameras, assassination by poison, licenses to kill are ideas associated with the War on Terror. In Nevada, Wyoming, Utah and Idaho, there exist sinister terrorists known as corvus corax: the common raven. It may be time to take up arms against them to secure the by Brendan Trainor homeland. Ravens, crows and magpies are the members of the corvus family. The largest and smartest are ravens, often growing two feet long with a three-foot wingspan. They are extremely intelligent animals, capable of using tools like twigs to solve complex problems. They have advanced communication skills. Ravens often gather on the high transmission lines dotting the Western range to signal to each other where prey can be found, resulting in dozens swooping down at once on road kill or a desert tortoise for a communal meal. The endangered sage grouse, while a beautiful bird with an amazing mating ritual, is after all

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just a wild chicken and not known for its intelligence. Ravens use their tactical skills to lure the sage grouse hen away from its nest and then sneak in to devour the eggs. This is a major reason for the sage grouse decline. This might be just another Animal Planet story, but for man. Man’s laws contribute to both the rise of ravens and the decline of the sage grouse. The ravens flourish because of the 1918 Migratory Bird Act, which protects them from hunters. The sage grouse decline has the panicked Western states scrambling to find ways to protect the precious species from ravens and other threats. If they fail, the feds threaten to list them under under the Endangered Species Act. The ESA is the pit bull of environmental laws. Once it has you in its grip, it locks its regulatory jaws around you forever. Very few endangered species are removed from the list, which for

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anything else but a government program would make you wonder how effective the ESA really is. If the sage grouse is listed, the ability of the states to manage their own lands would be subject to the whims of the feds, and the legions of eager environmental groups who have the ability under the law to sue, sue, and sue again for stricter rules and enforcement. To fend off this threat, infrared cameras have been placed to catch the ravens in their egg stealing ways. The videos confirm they are indeed major terrorists. Various states have petitioned for legal raven hunts, but the birds are so smart, like Steven Seagal, they are hard to kill. Elko has implemented a pilot program to use pesticidelaced eggs that only affect the corvus family sprinkled around the sage grouse leks. (Leks are the desert dance floors on which sage grouse puff out their brilliantly colored air sacs and dance until they mate.) Idaho tried to target

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4,000 ravens for a quick egg-sit but failed to get the feds to process the permits for the hit. Officials concede that if you kill a lot of ravens, more could simply take their place. The Nevada legislature has two joint resolutions, AJR2 and SJR5, which petition the Congress and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service for permission to limit the raven population. I think the Legislature should show some real leadership. Why not simply ask the CIA for the use of a few of their predator drones? They could even be guided by Nevada’s very own drone joystick jockeys. The only things ravens understand is force. All options should be on the table. A few hellfire missiles should do the trick. We can limit the collateral damage. Just a teeny, tiny range war. What could possibly go wrong? Ω

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MARCH 26, 2015

Check out this intelligence test for ravens: https:// www.youtube.com/ watch?v=lrYPm6DD44M Too bad they’re not delicious as well.

RN&R

PHOTO/DENNIS MYERS

Which legislators in this photo are already plotting post-legislative lobbying careers?

Tribune evolving The new owners of the Sparks Tribune seem to be curbing its columnists to make the newspaper into a conservative organ. Longtime Trib columnist Andrew Barbano’s column has been appearing in its pages less frequently, though he confirms he has been sending it in with the same frequency. The 105-year-old newspaper was purchased last month by Battle Born Media of Ely, which also owns newspapers in Pioche, Eureka, Hawthorne and Ely. Right wing Las Vegas columnists like Sherman Frederick (an exec in Battle Born) and Tom Mitchell have been added to the Tribune editorial page columns. One Barbano column, a spicy but humorous piece on Clark County Assemblymember Michelle Fiore, failed to appear in the Trib but can be read on Barbano’s website at www.nevadalabor.com/barbwire/barb15/barb3-102015.html. So far, the columns of Jake Highton—another longtime Trib columnist—have appeared on schedule, prompting speculation that he will be the “house liberal.” Publisher Cindy Mikkelson—a fixture at the paper for many years—and editor Dan Eckles left the Tribune in the wake of the sale.

Guns and pot go on ballot State legislators were too timid to weigh in on gun control or legal marijuana, so the issues will go to Nevada voters to decide. Under the state’s initiative petition law, when petitions gain the required number of signatures, they are delivered to the Nevada Legislature for initial action. The lawmakers can approve them outright, enacting them into law without further action. They can also draft alternative versions of the same measures. Another option is ignoring the petitions entirely. If they fail to approve the voter petitions within 40 days, they go directly onto the ballot at the next general election. Alternative legislative measures would appear on the ballot alongside the voter petitions. Two initiative petitions circulated in Nevada in 2014 received enough signatures to qualify for the ballot. They were delivered to the Legislature on Feb. 2. A petition that, if approved, would make possession of up to one ounce of marijuana legal, was introduced as Initiative Petition 1. It was circulated by the Coalition to Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol a.k.a. Campaign to Regulate Marijuana. The second, a petition that would require background checks on certain firearm purchases, was designated I.P. 2. It was circulated by Nevadans for Background Checks. Both measures were referred to the Assembly Judiciary Committee. On March 9, they were then returned to the full house without any recommendation for passage or defeat. Two days later, the Assembly voted to place the measures “on the chief clerk’s desk,” a parliamentary maneuver that usually means no further action would be taken. As a result, on March 13 the two petitions will now go on the 2016 ballot. The legislators can still draft alternative language to go on the ballot along with the voter petitions, but they are not expected to do so. The two petitions can be read at http://nvsos.gov/index. aspx?page=1309.

Cooling it Legislators-turned-lobbyists prompt curb on revolving door When former assemblymember and senator Sheila Leslie left the Legislature, her experience and record would by probably have made it relatively Dennis Myers easy to line up some lobbying clients. She initially decided not to lobby. “After losing a very close election in November 2012, lobbying in the 2013 session was the last thing I wanted to do,” she said. “It was a relief to be able to focus on just one full-day job managing the [Washoe County] specialty courts and to be relieved from mandatory attendance at all those community events, dinners and political duties. I loved getting my private time back.”

“The bill doesn’t permanently seal the door shut.”

Long commute In Mississippi, the residency of state senate candidate Clara Davis-Dawkins last week was challenged by her own Democratic Party, which issued a report asserting, “Her claim that she owns property in this district was not supported with evidence and is irrelevant, since ‘domicile’ is the key term and that was not proven. A Nevada driver’s license and out of state tag did not aid her argument.”

—Dennis Myers

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Assemblymember Pat Hickey Washoe Republican For an exploration of the issues involved in legislators turning to lobbying, see our May 2011 cover story, “From Lawmaking to lobbying” at www.newsreview. com/reno/fromlawmaking-to-lobbying/ content?oid=2039562

Instead, she took on an even more disreputable task—writing for the Reno News & Review as a weekly opinion columnist. In January this year, she took on a new job as behavioral health coordinator at Washoe County Social Services. She is involved in some of the same kinds of issues she promoted as a legislator, such as mental health and drug

problems. As part of that job, she’s monitoring the status of legislative measures. It doesn’t really involve lobbying, but she registered, anyway. “Part of my job is to track bills in the Legislature that affect the Department and make sure we follow up quickly on fiscal note requests and legislative inquiries,” she said. “Although I am seldom in Carson City and don’t lobby much at all, I registered as a paid lobbyist to maintain complete transparency since I do occasionally talk to legislators, assist with the development of bills, and consult with the county’s legislative team. I will be testifying for the first and perhaps only time tomorrow on a bill that directly affects my current job—Assembly Bill 289, creating an interim study on the regionalization of mental health services.” While Leslie handled the situation in a way that would likely draw praise, there are legislators who do not think the matter should be left up to members of the Legislature themselves, that there should be a cooling-off period before they can lobby. Assemblymember Pat Hickey, a Washoe Republican, has introduced Assembly Bill 273 to prohibit legislators from serving as paid lobbyists during the first Nevada Legislature after they leave office.

Nevada’s legislature meets only every other year. A.B. 273, as drafted by the legislative bill drafting office, would appear to bar lobbying only during the regular legislative session, effectively making a cooling-off period that lasts until the first week of June after the legislator leaves office. That would allow him or her to lobby during any special sessions that occurred during the biennium. When we called that to Hickey’s attention, he responded that he “may have to fix that”— suggesting that his intent is a twoyear cooling-off period. His bill would allow unpaid or volunteer lobbying, such as is done by community groups and charities. In addition, it would not affect those who must lobby as part of their jobs. During this year’s Legislature, at least 14 former legislators are registered to lobby. (So, incidentally, are two former governors, a former state treasurer, some former legislative staffers, and some former state agency chiefs.) In a letter to constituents, Hickey wrote, “Some may say this is a bill about the perception of the undue influence of money and power upon politics. Maybe so, but it’s a perception with a lot of truth behind it. For instance, let’s say I’m a lobbyist who is a former legislative leader, and you’re a current lawmaker for whom I helped raise substantial funds for reelection. Now let’s see whether you can look me in the eye and keep a straight face while saying you won’t be at all influenced by who I am and what I ask of you.” Such measures usually end up running afoul of the very officials they are intended to cover. Hickey sponsored a similar measure at the 2013 legislature, one of two measures that sought to impose cooling-off periods that year. “Both bills attempt to break the infamous ‘revolving door’ cycle that permeates much of politics,” said Nevada Center for Public Ethics president Martin Dean Dupalo at that session. But Sen. Kelvin Atkinson, a Clark County Democrat, said, “I’m trying to figure out why we’re doing this.” Atkinson said it would cause an “injustice in our own state” if legislators could not take the skills they learned as lawmakers and employ them in the marketplace.

Hickey responded, “I think it does say to the public, and importantly to ourselves, that we should be clear from either the perception or the temptation to use ... your last term of office to prepare yourself, ingratiate yourself, to a future employer.” The second bill that year would have extended a coolingoff period to local governments and the Nevada Board of Regents. “Simply, we wanted to hit the revolving door,” said Assemblyman James Ohrenschall, D-Las Vegas. “We didn’t want a county commissioner to lobby their own county commissioners.” Neither measure was approved. According to the National conference of State Legislatures, “At least 33 states have enacted a “cooling-off period” before a former legislator can come back to work at the legislature as a lobbyist.” But those laws are of limited value to Nevada for comparison purposes. Only three other state legislatures meet every other year— Montana, North Dakota and Texas. Texas and North Dakota don’t have cooling-off statutes and Montana’s statute doesn’t apply to legislators. Arizona, another small Western state like Nevada, does have such a law though its legislature meets annually. It provides a cooling-off period of one year during which

former public officials—legislators included—cannot be paid lobbyists, but only on issues a legislator was personally involved with. All other topics are fair game. The Arizona law also says that no public official can “disclose or use for personal profit information designated as confidential.”

“ I personally think a cooling-off time period is appropriate.” Sheila Leslie Former legislator Hickey said his bill doesn’t prevent legislators from lobbying, only delays it. “While the bill doesn’t permanently seal the door shut, it does require a one session break before a former Nevada lawmaker can walk into the Legislature with a blue paid lobbyist badge on his lapel.” This week, Leslie said she still supports a cooling-off period. “I personally think a cooling-off time period is appropriate … to avoid the appearance of impropriety, especially during a legislator’s last session under term limits, as someone might be positioning him/herself for a full time lobbying position immediately thereafter.” Ω

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Above par A defunct golf course will become a city park, but it won’t come cheap The entrance to the former Northgate Golf Course has cracked asphalt and landscaping that’s more wild than cultivated, but the spot still feels trim and clean, somehow—the portal to a once-posh place with killer mounby Georgia Fisher tain views and more than 200 rolling acres. On a sunny day last week, the only litter in sight was a used condom, perfectly centered on the driveway georgiaf@ and pointing toward the locked gate like a sad sort of arrow. newsreview.c om This one’s a strange place for romance, as it’s rather exposed and about a block downhill from a giant Mormon church, but that’s another story. Ditto the fact that Northgate, near Somersett, was hailed as one of the best new golf courses in the country when it opened in the late 1980s. These days, it’s getting buzz because neighbors and nonprofits want to turn it into an ecologically friendly public park, and city staff have just unveiled an ambitious plan that’s paving the way for bike trails, an archery range, restored native habitat and natural drainage. A state grant of around $135,000 will go toward Sierra Vista Park’s first phase of development, but that’s where the budget stops, at least for now. The land’s original water rights are long gone, for the record, and not every neighbor is keen on the whole makeover plan. “I’m kind of sad that they’re actually about to start building stuff,” said neighbor Lynn Walters, who shimmied around the gate with her dog. “Everybody lets their dogs off-leash here, and it’s a safe place to walk. … Parks have limitations, you know. You keep your dog on a leash, that kind of stuff, but here people just walk their dogs all over, and we’re out To learn more about at all times of day.” Sierra Vista Park, visit Graffiti now adorns the boarded-up clubhouse where Walters and her http://bit.ly/18Nq6if friends once lunched, and an outbuilding that looks like an equipment garage is heavily tagged. The area is still scenic in many ways, though, and not half as dilapidated or miserable as the city website suggests. The land-use issue is essentially bureaucratic. As Reno parks manager Jeff Mann explained, a previous donor/developer was able to reclaim the property when it ceased to operate as a golf course in 2009. Because said developer does residential work, neighbors figured they’d be staring at a new subdivision soon. Thus, the park idea. “They had bought houses in anticipation of golf-course views or openspace views for perpetuity,” Mann said. The city acquired the land for around $2.4 million in 2011, with help from Washoe County and adjacent homeowners. Kevin Joell, from a volunteer trail-building group called Poedunk, estimates two-and-a-half miles of bike trails would run about $1,000, provided workers spend a month on the project. His organization offered to help, “but it is unknown what level of involvement the Poedunks will have in Sierra Vista, since it hasn’t been voted on by their board as a project,” Joell said in an email. Mann says Poedunk is one of the main players, actually. “Nothing is going to happen up there as far as feature improvements,” he said, “unless we have private groups and individuals stepping forward to help with construction funding and ongoing maintenance.” Ω

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Just because we made all these stories up doesn’t mean they’re not real. Happy April Fool’s Day!

AmAzing! Astounding! so unbelievAble you won’t believe it! too strAnge to be true becAuse it isn’t true!

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN BRENEMAN

Reno baby boRn with full-body tattoos! At just three days old, Miles James Roofkin is brand new to the world. So too is his condition, a bizarre medical anomaly that lends the appearance of intricate inkwork from head to toe. Full tattoo sleeves on each tiny arm give way to curvy devil girls on both shoulder blades, a shaky outline of the state of Nevada on the infant’s neck, and a swirling sea of abstract designs that cascade under his diaper and down his legs. Miles’ delicate epidermis also sports references to internet memes that circulated while he was in utero and were obsolete by press time. “But my favorite is the widdle bitty teardrop,” said his mother, Danielle, speaking in baby talk and touching what appeared to be a classic prison tattoo on the boy’s face. “And he hasn’t even killed anyone or anything,” the new mom murmured, gazing from her infant son’s eyes to those of his doting father, Paul. “Well, not that we know of.”

Renown Regional Medical Center’s littlest patient is a living work of art. OPINION

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Though admittedly stunned, the Reno medical community was reasonably prepared for the neonatal miracle. “We’ve actually had indications that something like was on the horizon,” said obstetrician-gynecologist-dermatologist Jill Whiffle of Renown Regional Medical Center. In fact, Whiffle was able to make out the words “Fuck bitches, get money” in Old English text on the shoulder of a different newborn a few years ago. Sadly, the iconic words faded within hours of the child’s birth. “Those poor parents,” she recalled with a sympathetic sigh. “Their luck slipped away like sand through their fingers. We can only hope this new family’s good fortune will last.”

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Playa-to-table food movement catches on in Reno

nevada’s one fRaudulent voteR blasted Nevada multiple voter Maudie Reisner was presented to the Assembly Legislative Operations and Elections Committee this 14 | RN&R |

MARCH 26, 2015

Turns out Instagram is the only life-saving technology we need.

local woman saves lives with instagRam Bree Britten, a 22-year-old bartender and student at the University of Nevada, Reno, was walking her dog around Reno’s Old Southwest neighborhood on Wednesday evening when she noticed smoke billowing from a house near the corner of Pueblo and Forest streets. Using her iPhone, Britten snapped a photo of the smoking house and posted it to her Instagram account, @GoodToBreeMe. She tagged @jon_the_don_juan, the account of Jon Johns, a 29-year-old freelance graphic designer, and one of three current residents of the house. She also added the hashtags #smoke, #fire, #dudeyourhouseisonfire, and #itsgettinhotinherre. “I’d fallen asleep while looking at my phone and had left some food cooking on the stove,” said Johns. “If I hadn’t gotten that Instagram notification, I probably wouldn’t have woken up in time to put out the fire. Bree really saved my life.” Johns was able to alert his roommate, Matt Makkelson, who was in the house’s basement playing video games, and the two roommates were able to extinguish the fire. Johns said he was especially glad that Britten tagged the photo #dudeyourhouseisonfire because he said otherwise he might not have put it all together. “I remember thinking, shouldn’t that be ’you’re,’ with an apostrophe, and then I was like, ‘oh shit!’ and I could smell the smoke,” he said. For her part, Britten said she doesn’t think of herself as a hero. “I just did what anybody would have done in that circumstance,” she said. She also noted that the photo had attracted nearly 70 likes, which was more than some of her photos, but not as much as her photo earlier that morning of her dog, Gosling, a golden retriever, interacting with a pug puppy

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN BRENEMAN

Black Rock Eats is a the newest eatery to join the fray of Reno’s burgeoning culinary renaissance, serving what owner Michael “Bird Quest” Cooke describes as “artisanal Burning Man cuisine,” like beef jerky, beer-soaked Doritos, spoonfuls of runny peanut butter, and dust-covered Gummi Worms that may or may not be laced with MDMA. “Playa-to-table cuisine is the latest trend in culinary hot spots like San Francisco and Gerlach,” said Cooke. “We buy all our ingredients fresh from the producers as they’re sitting in their cars waiting to leave Burning Man.” Since the Burning Man arts festival operates with a “gift economy,” in which participants trade for supplies they need, Cooke said he and his team are able to procure most of what they need by trading bottles of Gatorade and water to thirsty burners who didn’t pack enough water for the festival. “We’re purchasing these ingredients as fresh as possible,” said Cooke, adding that all of the food at Black Rock Eats can be considered “free-range” because Burning Man is an event that encourages “radical self-expression.” One of the signature dishes at Black Rock Eats is rock-hard, dehydrated pot brownies. Each brownie is unique, according to Cooke. Some might contain no actual marijuana, whereas other brownies might contain enough THC to tranquilize a horse. It’s impossible to predict, but according to Cooke, that’s half the fun. “You just eat a brownie and wait 45 minutes, and then see what happens.” The restaurant, located near the corner of Virginia and Cheney streets in the heart of Reno’s midtown, also serves a variety of alcoholic beverages, with a special focus on canned beers. The beers are served warm, but drenched in melted ice, as if they came straight from a cooler that had been sitting out in the sun all day. “We really want to give diners that authentic Burning Man dining experience,” said Cooke. The restaurant had its soft opening last week, but business has already been steady and word-of-mouth has been positive. “Honestly, we just came here because we heard that some of the waitresses were topless,” said Tyler Goodwin, a 19-year-oldstudent at the University of Nevada, Reno, who ate at the restaurant last Thursday. “All of the food was pretty gross. It was all covered in this, like, salty dust. Everything tasted like ass. But I heard Daft Punk might be eating here next week, so I’ll be back.”

week as an example of the “madness” of letting people vote without presenting identification cards. The committee meeting was a triumph for Republicans, who have previously been unable to show any evidence that fraudulent voting occurs other than in freakishly rare fashion. Reisner, an 87-year-old Carson City Alzheimer’s patient, voted twice in the election four years ago. The fraud was uncovered at a family Thanksgiving dinner when one of Reisner’s granddaughters said, “I took Grandma to early votes.” A different granddaughter replied, “Well, I took her down on Election Day.” It turned out the woman had voted twice. “This madness must stop,” said Republican Assemblymember Lynn Stewart, sponsor of a measure to require voters to show identification cards before voting. His colleague Jill Dickman, sponsor of a second, similar measure, said, “People are voting indiscriminately, so it’s time that government starts discriminating among them.”

they encountered earlier on their walk. That photo, which she tagged #newfriends and #puppylove had attracted over 80 likes. “It was just such a cute moment,” she said. “I think it might even get over 100 likes by the end of the day. That’ll be first for me. That’s the one I’m really proud of.”

midlife cRisis aveRted Auto hobbyist Gerald Glurkin says he’s almost ready to unveil his tricked-out new ride. “She’s so cherry,” he said, lighting a celebratory cigar and lifting a tarp off the redand-white vehicle, which he plans to cruise at a slow roll during Hot August Nights. “And don’t even think about touching her,” he snapped at a journalist who’d come to interview him and his family about the project. “Seriously. No touchie.” To the ignorant and insensitive layperson, Glurkin’s baby looks exactly like a circa 2009 beer-filled Igloo cooler strapped to a razor scooter. But no one’s saying anything. “We had to refinance the house to get

the $80,000 for it,” his wife, Gerta, muttered under her breath. “It gets him the hell out of my hair, though.” The fact that he has to straddle the vehicle to man its handlebars hasn’t deterred Glurkin. “You don’t even know how many women smile at me on the street now,” he said after Gerta walked away. “I mean, they’re smiling so hard they’re basically laughing, and laughing so hard they’re basically crying, but that’s just how it goes. One of ’em even threw a Taco Bell wrapper at me, sort of like somebody throwin’ panties at a concert. It’s pure emotion, man.”

welfaRe Rammed down coRPoRate thRoat fails The Sandoval administration says talks that could have brought Microsoft’s entire operation to Nevada have broken down over disagreements on the level of incentives offered to the mega-corporation. State economic development officials say Microsoft was unwilling to accept tax credits and other incentives at the high levels insisted

PHOTO/THINKSTOCK

upon by Gov. Brian Sandoval on grounds that the state might have to deplete state education to pay for them, and the children of the corporation’s workers would suffer. But the administration was adamant that cultivating a business-first reputation for Nevada is a higher priority. Democrats are still debating their position but are expected to support Sandoval as usual, sort of, maybe.

Woman eagerly anticipates fatfree marijuana “Boone’s Farm is making me soooo fat,” said a sulking Tiffi Rojas, slapping her tiny, yogatoned backside for emphasis. “I mean, look. But of course I’d be like super sad without it.” Like countless other Americans, Rojas self-medicates an undiagnosed anxiety disorder with depressants such as alcohol. But the University of Nevada, Reno student is in for a sweet surprise. Believe it or not, groundbreaking scientific research indicates that marijuana—which will soon be available locally for those with medical cards—is actually fat free, calorie free, carb free and sodium free, just like anything else that’s been smoked since time began. Who knew it’d be easier on the waistline than sugarfree gum? “Shut up,” Rojas exclaimed gleefully when she heard the good news. “I’m probably not gonna smoke it or whatever, but I’ll for-sure

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Programs such as Weight Watchers are apt to endorse marijuana cookies and other treats.

Carson City Sheriff’s Office to be charged with attempting a redress of grievances. The woman approached her member of the Nevada Assembly to discuss the drought and water needs in agricultural Churchill County. The legislator protested sharply and the Assembly sergeant at arms intervened to remove the woman from the Assembly hall. “It’s getting to the point that citizens are engaging in unrestrained and unbridled activism,” said Legislative Police Chief L. Stanley Baum. “We cannot allow every resident of the state to behave this way.”

eat the pot brownies and the candy and everything, since none of it even counts. Plus we all know it’s an appetite suppressant anyway.” Rojas also believes all-day cannabis use will motivate her to exercise more than usual. “No more sitting on the couch when I’m feeling lazy,” she said with a grin, her thoughts drifting to the future. “Watch out, world. It’s marathon time.”

nevadan goes too far A Fallon woman was detained by legislative police early today and turned over to the

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reno arch stolen! The Reno Arch, arguably the most iconic symbol of the city, was stolen on Wednesday evening. The Reno Police Department reports that the arch was reported missing at 11 p.m. after Cindie Cinnibuns, a waitress at Heritage Restaurant in the nearby Whitney Peak Hotel, noticed that the sign was gone. The current Reno Arch is the third such arch at the location near the corner of Virginia Street and Commercial Row, in the heart of Reno’s downtown casino district. The first Reno Arch was installed in 1926. The current arch was installed in 1987. RPD Detective Gavin Galvinsdale, who is leading the investigation, told reporters that law enforcement officials were asking the public for help in finding information about the stolen arch. “To be honest, we’re a bit stumped,” said Galvinsdale. “We took a statement from a family from Roseville who walked by the arch at 6:10 p.m., and it was there intact then, but then we can’t find any other eyewitnesses of the arch until Miss Cinnibuns noticed it missing nearly four hours later. Apparently nobody goes downtown anymore.”

correction Darth Vader is not living in a Sun Valley trailer home, as we reported, because Darth Vader is a fictional character. Happy April Fool’s Day, everybody! Ω

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two artists build sculptures that double as conservation projects—including one on the truckee River

story and photos by kRis VAgneR

A watershed sculpture made of live willow saplings, 360 feet long, can be found at River Fork Ranch Preserve in Minden.

16 | RN&R |

MARCH 26, 2015

ary O’Brien stands thigh-deep in an offshoot of the lower Truckee River, unofficially named Turtle Oxbow. Next to her, a volunteer pounds two rows of wooden fence posts into the riverbed with a manual post driver. At this spot, part of the McCarran Ranch Preserve, about eight miles east of Sparks, the river winds lazily through acres of ranchland, thickets of cattails, and stands of cottonwood and willow. O’Brien, geared up with waders, a Camelbak, and a brimmed hat that she won’t end up needing on this overcast March morning, is a filmmakerturned-sculptor. She makes up half of a two-person organization called Watershed Sculpture, based in Fairfax, Calif., just north of San Francisco, that builds outdoor structures, also called watershed sculptures. Each sculpture is part of a conservation project, such as oyster beds in Oakland and storm surge barriers in Louisiana’s Gulf Coast. O’Brien’s partner, Daniel McCormick, the other half of the organization, directs a few more volunteers as they gather sections of sun-bleached trunks and branches. They float some of the larger logs across the river to where O’Brien waits patiently. The Nature Conservancy owns this land and has been restoring the damaged floodplains of a nine-mile stretch of the Truckee here since 2003. Had the multinational conservation group not contracted two sculptors and recruited hundreds of volunteers to make this sculpture—along with two others like it on the same preserve—they would have likely angled a large tree trunk or two in the water instead to serve as an access ramp for Western pond turtles and a shelter for fish. In this case, that’s how the sculpture will be used. “We see turtle scat every morning,” says McCormick. He hasn’t seen any turtles, but that’s not worrisome. They’re skittish, and in terms of habitat restoration, the mere evidence that they’ve been there counts as success. Progress in riparian forest restoration can happen as slowly as it does with ambitious art projects. McCormick estimates that a similar piece, a 360-foot watershed sculpture built of intricately bundled live willow at River Fork Ranch in Minden, took about 1,600 work hours. About 400 volunteers came from schools, corporations and art groups to help.

WoRking tHe lAnd The morning work session proceeds, with intermittent moments of productivity and quick problem solving sessions, and the crew fine-tunes its methods with each procedure. McCormick says, “When we get to this point of our work, we’re drawing on everything we have. We’ve always done that; it’s so critical. We use everything.” He’s referencing his and O’Brien’s long list of academic and practical credentials, including his environmental engineering degree and experience as a builder, and her business-writing skills and political science background. O’Brien and her helper pick up the floating logs—pausing here and there to figure out the leverage of a particularly heavy one or decide where to best place another—and soon they have a recognizable retaining wall. Later, the logs will be packed with soil and wired together tightly to make a graceful, partially submerged sculpture. Across the river, there’s already a mostly finished one. It’s a bundle of branches, tightly wired together into the shape that resembles the tips of a mythically large tree root, three or four feet around at is thickest. It angles down into the water, but most of its length, 20 feet or so, is on the bank. “I’ve got a good problem to solve,” McCormick tells a volunteer. He points out a few loose spots. “It’s no problem now, but when a storm hits or a raccoon gets to it, it’ll start to come apart more.” The volunteer uses a tool with a metal hook to twist the wires tighter. McCormick explains, “We think it’ll weather pretty well for the next three years. Then it’s supposed to fall.” Sculptures designed to decompose in a few years aren’t exactly the immortal, third-century-BC Hellenic bronzes that are on a multimuseum world tour this year. But that’s OK. They’re not supposed to be. “Sculpture” stopped being synonymous with “permanence” a long time ago. Artists have been making works that use the landscape as both canvas and material since the late 1960s. One of the best known examples is Robert Smithson’s “Spiral Jetty,” begun in 1970 in the Great Salt Lake. Made of basalt boulders, it’s still intact. A more recent example is Andy Goldsworthy, who makes sculptures with materials

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Duane Petite, Carson River Project Director, the Nature Conservancy, at River Fork Ranch

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There’s also a noticeable resemblance between Watershed Sculpture and some existing, non-functional land art. Artist Andy Goldsworthy, in addition to making those icicle pieces that may not last the day, also has some permanent pieces in the Golden Gate National Recreation Area in San Francisco. Like some of the Watershed Sculptures, they’re made from natural materials found on site, and they snake through the landscape in a similar kind of design. That kind of aesthetic is part of the well-established visual vocabulary McCormick and O’Brien bring to their work. Will the idea of land art as practical, environmental art take hold? So far, says Bill Fox, it’s not a trend: “We have [archive] materials from more than 600 artists on every continent. There aren’t that many people in the world who do this.” He did mention, however, that McCormick and O’Brien are in conversation with the University of California Berkeley’s Sage Hen Creek Research Station, which is part of the Truckee watershed, about the possibility of functional land art. That conversation is scheduled to move along further this spring and summer. Meanwhile, whatever happens, Fox is thinking big and hopes the region’s environmental groups are, too: “For Nevada to be a role model is huge. I think that’s the biggest thing here.”

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“Daniel McCormick & Mary O’Brien Watershed Sculpture,” an exhibit documenting the Watershed Sculpture projects, is on view at the Nevada Museum of Art through April 5. For information about Watershed Sculpture, the organization, visit watershedsculpture. blogspot.com. For directions to watershed sculptures at McCarran Ranch Preserve and River Fork Ranch Preserve, visit nature.org. To volunteer at an upcoming Watershed Sculpture work day, contact Martin Swinehart, Director of Volunteers & Outreach for The Nature Conservancy, at nvfovolunteer@tnc.org. |

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as fragile as icicles, leaves or patterns left by raindrops. Those pieces fall apart quickly, though they’re widely known by Goldsworthy’s lavish photographs. So, land art can be large or small, ephemeral or long lasting, famously well documented like Goldsworthy’s or—like James Turrell’s Rodin Crater in northern Arizona, an actual extinct volcano he’s been converting into a massive art piece since 1972—so deeply shrouded in secrecy, hardly anyone has seen it. But as far as anyone involved can recall, until Watershed Sculpture contracted with The Nature Conservancy, there’s been no real tradition of land art being functional. Thinking back to how this whole project started, TNC Volunteer Coordinator Martin Swinehart says, “over lunch.” He’s paraphrasing, but that’s a pretty close summary. In 2010, the paths of a few artists, environmentalists, and Nevada Museum of Art folks naturally crossed. Sara Franz, archivist and librarian for Center for Art + Environment, was also a Nature Conservancy volunteer. Museum board member Carole Anderson was also on TNC’s board. And TNC’s Chris Sega, manager of McCarran Ranch Preserve, happens to have an art degree. The museum’s Bill Fox, director of its Center for Art + Environment, who was also in on the early rounds of conversation, recalls, “We started talking about the idea of moving earth for art and moving earth for environment.” The Nature Conservancy expressed interest in large-scale functional sculpture to use in erosion control and habitat restoration, and Fox began searching for suitable artists. “I knew about the work of Daniel and Mary,” he says. They were a natural fit. Swinehart, thinking back to 2010, pointed out: “Our interfacing with the land has some things in common with land art.” They each raze land and move dirt. Often they use the same equipment.

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Curiouser and curator

JoAnne Northup, the NMA's director of contemporary art initiatives, with work she curated by Betsabeé Romero.

JoAnne Northrup Betsabeé Romero is an artist from Mexico City. She’s been in the world spotlight since the 1990s. by However, until this year, she’d never had a Kris Vagner solo show in the Western United States. Romero’s been lauded by the New York Times for coming up with a good solution to a common problem. “On the one hand, [art] wants to speak to the largest population. On the other, it wants to participate in conversations that only a handful of people are knowledgeable about—philosophy, say, or politics, or art itself.” Capital City arts JoAnne Northrup faces the same initiative hosts problem as a curator. As director of contem“Bringing the World porary art initiatives at the Nevada Museum to northern nevada,” of Art, she’s been tasked with raising the a talk by Joanne museum’s international profile. At the same northrup, 7 p.m., March 31, at Business time, Northrup has tasked herself with not resource innovation just exhibiting “art that speaks to the few.” Center, 108 e. Proctor “I would say that I have always been st., Carson City. an kind of a populist curator,” she says. “I want informal reception begins at 6:15 p.m. the to reach out to new audiences. I’m not just event is free and open preaching to the converted.” to the public. She grew up near San Francisco, earned a masters degree at the University of

Southern California, worked at museums in Southern California and France, spent 10 years as a curator at the San Jose Museum of Art, traveled to Germany as a Fulbright scholar, then came to Reno in 2012. How has working in all these places affected her perspective? “I adapt my vision to wherever I’m living at the time,” she says. In particular, she’s quick to notice when the art-world zeitgeist overlaps with a particular region’s general cultural outlook. In San Jose, a major technology hub, for example, she organized an exhibit by Leo Villareal, a pioneer in computer-programmed LED sculptures. In 2011, that show made a stop in Reno, especially fitting since many people here know Villareal’s work from Burning Man. Similarly, Northrup’s idea for the fall 2014 exhibit Late Harvest came about as a result of keeping an observant eye on her environment. She’d been traveling between California and Nevada frequently while relocating to Reno. She noticed that hunters and casinos displayed taxidermy in Nevada,

while at the same time artists in Brooklyn and Belgium used it in sculptures, and it was de rigueur décor in hipster bars in San Francisco. In efforts to stay internationally connected, she also brings NMA patrons to museums and art studios abroad—this year to Israel—and casts her net wide when seeking funding. A 2016 exhibit features Anthony McCall, another artist who’s prominent internationally but hasn’t been shown much regionally, a British-born New Yorker who’s turned cinema projections into light sculptures. That exhibit will be funded by a $50,000 grant Northrup secured from a foundation in Switzerland.

While Northrup’s solution for to how to address the art elite and general audiences alike is largely based on making personal connections around the world, artist Romero’s solution is equally down to earth: cars. To address consumer culture and traditional culture on many levels at once she uses car bodies as art supplies, tires as sculpture materials, and custom-designed tire treads as printmaking tools. You could look at Romero’s work from a theorist’s point of view or come at it fresh from the auto store, the print studio, or the elementary school and connect easily. It’s no surprise Romero’s work is right up Northrup’s alley. The two met in San Jose a few years ago, and Northrup organized Romero’s first solo exhibit in the West. It’s at the museum right now, and it’s the basis of just one story among many that Northrup will tell at her upcoming Capital City Arts Initiative talk, “Bringing the World to Northern Nevada.” Ω

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Lili’s Restaurant & Bar 2325 Kietzke Lane, 826-7777

“Best food in town.” Reading this statement on a menu demands judgment from any diner, much less someone intent on by Todd South writing about the experience. The food is pretty good for diner fare, but I can’t go on record stating that Lili’s Restaurant & Bar is the best in town. For the money, Lili’s is serving decent diner food at affordable prices with excellent service, and perhaps that’s enough.

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In a restaurant space that has changed hands several times, Lili’s must be doing something right. On our Saturday brunch visit, the place was packed, yet thanks to ample seating and efficient service, my wife, daughter and I didn’t have to wait a moment to be seated or served. Service was friendly and efficient, with food arriving from the kitchen in quick order, and never a wait for drink refills. Always in search of an above-par burger, I decided on Lili’s Favorite Burger with roasted Ortega chili and Jack cheese ($9.99), with a side substitution of onion rings ($1.50 extra). Since I hadn’t had breakfast, and I love to try housemade soups, I also ordered a cup of broccoli cheese soup ($2.49). The soup was pretty much perfect, served piping hot with a topping of shredded cheddar, and at a price nearly half that of what I’ve recently paid at other places. I ordered the burger medium rare, and it was actually medium rare. If you like your burgers with a bit of pink, you know how hard it is to receive them cooked to order. The bun appeared to be anything but mass-produced, and the rest of the

ingredients and presentation were above average. The onion rings were battered, fresh and done just the way I like them. In recent years, my wife has acquired a workout addiction, so it’s amusing when she orders the “Big Damn Breakfast.” I knew she’d end up spending a lot more time doing burpees at the gym, but I didn’t stop her because it meant I’d get to taste a decent sample of Lili’s Famous Country Style Breakfast with chicken fried steak ($9.99), including two extra large eggs, home fries, two housemade biscuits and country gravy. The biscuits were fluffy and huge, the gravy was pretty good if a little under-seasoned, the eggs were cooked perfectly to order, and the home fries were best in show. However, the chicken fried steak was something of a puzzle. Fork tender? Close enough. But it had a very eggy flavor, odd breading, and a general lack of seasoning that made it seem like the chef had heard about this dish but never experienced it. It was definitely made from scratch, because no freezer CFS would be like this. I’m going to give it a pass and say it’s the chef’s personal take on an American classic. Not bad, but definitely not the best. My daughter ordered the vegetarian omelet (zucchini, tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, $9.99), served with hash browns, wheat toast and a side of ham steak ($2.99). The ham was a bit singed yet edible, but the omelet seemed to do the trick. No complaints from the college student, and the potatoes were again a standout. Good potatoes can be a make-or-break item on any brunch menu, and Lili’s definitely knows that. Extra notice for avocado that was perfectly ripe (added to omelet for an extra $1.50). As it happened, this brunch occurred on Pi Day (3/14), which meant pie of some sort was in order. We shared a more-than-ample piece of warm apple pie ($3.99) that I won’t say was the best I’ve had—you’d have to try my mother’s pie for that— but it did the trick. Lili’s may not live up to the claim “best food in town,” but it’s certainly one of the best deals on diner food in Reno. Ω

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Forever young adult Insurgent The Divergent series, a.k.a. “Adventures in Hardcore Lethargy,” continues with Insurgent, a film as boring and pointless as its predecessor. This garbage is making The Hunger Games look like the original Star Wars trilogy in comparison. Director Robert Schwentke chooses a lot of gray tones to go with his dull dialogue by and muddled, straining performances to Bob Grimm make this one a sleeper in a bad way. Shailene Woodley, an actress who is impresbgrimm@ newsre view.c om sive most of the time, simply doesn’t make for an intriguing action heroine. The material seems beneath her. After the oh-so-rousing events of the first film, Tris (Woodley) and Four (Theo James) are living in a “faction free” zone,

"OK, let's get the guys who wrote this script!"

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meaning the zone is not run by any of the factions by which everybody in this society is categorized by. The factions are Amity, Abnegation, Erudite, Dauntless, Candor, Flounder and Douchebag. I would say this mess has the worst Young Adult fiction premise ever, but I’ve seen the Twilight films, so I would be lying my ass off. While living among the factionless, they have a surprise meeting with Four’s hot mom Evelyn, played by the incomparable Naomi Watts, one of my all-time favorite actresses. Watts is totally wasting her time in this crap, because, well, if Kate Winslet can slum in this pigeon spooge, so can Watts. While Watts makes a fairly brief appearance in this chapter, her character figures to be bigger in future installments. So, consequently, I weep for Watts’s immediate film future. Tris eventually winds up in the evil grasp of Jeanine (Winslet) again, where she

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is forced into a simulator that has the film trying to trick us into thinking things are really happening as opposed to just being a simulation. So when Tris is rescued, or kicking Winslet’s ass, or drinking a Diet Coke, it’s all just a hallucination. The movie spends much of its running time trying to dupe you. I assure you, once you plunk down your green for this cat poo, you’ve already been duped. One particular simulation has Tris trying to save her mommy (Ashley Judd) from a broken, flying building. Here’s a sequence that we are well aware is a dream—a really outlandish and stupid one involving a flying building. To say it lacks tension would be an understatement, not to mention nonsensical since there is no chance for tension in a Divergent series movie anyway. Wait a minute? Are you noticing the talent I’ve mentioned in the first few paragraphs of this review? Woodley, Winslet, Watts— lots of “W” names—and I haven’t even mentioned the great Miles Teller of Whiplash fame or Ansel Elgort. Teller and Elgort have both had the privilege of starring with Woodley in much better movies, The Spectacular Now and The Fault in Our Stars, respectively. In their scenes together, I was hoping they’d get in a romantic slap fight over Woodley’s hand in marriage. It would’ve made no sense, but would’ve provided a scene with something resembling a pulse in this picture. It’s hard to watch a talent like Woodley screech and moan her way through this dialogue. Like Kristen Stewart, a talented actress who sold out for the Young Adult fiction film phenomenon, she’s basically required to embarrass herself. Jennifer Lawrence has managed to make the equally ridiculous Hunger Games series watchable, but those movies also have Woody Harrelson in an awesome Kurt Cobain wig, so she has an unfair advantage. Taking a cue from the Harry Potter, Twilight and Hunger Games cash cows, the Divergent series will end by splitting the final novel it is based upon, Allegiant, into two films. This means we are only halfway through this cinematic hell ride. We can all have faith that at least two hours in each of the next two years will totally suck balls. Ω

Chappie

There are some good ideas at play in the latest from District 9 director Neill Blomkamp. The problem is many of those ideas are unabashedly lifted from other movies. Sharlto Copley voices Chappie, a sentient robot created by a nerdy computer guy (Dev Patel). The nerdy computer guy works for a big security corporation that builds cop robots. This feels a lot like RoboCop, especially when an evil, mullet-wearing coworker looks to get his new creation, The Moose, into mass production. The Moose is a direct rip-off of ED-209 from RoboCop, the big defense robot that can’t negotiate stairs. The film never takes off as its own entity, and feels like a hodgepodge of every robot ever made. Well, every robot movie ever made with perhaps 10 percent originality thrown in, and the original part is lame. So now I’m concerned, because Blomkamp just got the green light from Fox to make Alien 5, possibly with Sigourney Weaver and Michael Biehn. Now that Chappie is dead on arrival, and shows proof that Blomkamp isn’t bowling strikes at the moment, is the Alien project in jeopardy?

Cinderella

Director Kenneth Branagh knows what Disney junkies, young and old, crave in their fairy tale movies, and he unabashedly delivers the goods with this, the latest “live action” remake of a Disney animated classic. Of course, any Cinderella movie would be a slog without a good actress playing the title character. Luckily, Branagh has scored a great one with Lily James (TV’s Downton Abbey), as charming an actress as any to ever play an iconic Disney role. Screenwriter Chris Weitz gives Cinderella a sweet and sad backstory, showing us a young girl (Eloise Webb) living a happy and secure life with her doting parents (Ben Chaplin and Hayley Atwell). As the fairy tale dictates, Cinderella loses her mom, paving the way for the Queen Bee of all stepmothers, played here by a spot-on, devilish Cate Blanchett. Blanchett and James are so good in their roles because they aren’t trying to break the mold. They both embrace their parts as if they know what we have come to expect, and the result is a sort of adorable nostalgia in the case of Cinderella. She’s a genuinely nice person you can root for as portrayed by James. Adding to the charm would be Helena Bonham Carter (Branagh’s ex-girlfriend) as Fairy Godmother. As to be expected, Carter plays it joyfully weird and quirky. When the pink gown transforms into that glorious blue dress adorning the spinning James, it’s pure movie magic. It’s a lot of fun seeing Branagh embracing the Disney canon and making it his own for nearly two hours.

Focus

This is a relatively small movie for the Will Smith mega machine, a semistandard conman movie that allows Smith to use his wisecracker persona. It does a good job making him likeable again after crap like After Earth, even if he’s playing a lying scumbag. Nicky (Smith) is enjoying a fine meal at his hotel one night when Jess (Margot Robbie, who must be the hottest girl on God’s green Earth—and all of the arctic and desert parts, too) sits at his table. This starts a movie-long relationship between the conman and the conwoman wannabe. Nicky co-runs a thievery ring that specializes in a lot of little scams and robberies, claiming that the smaller stuff all adds up. Jess, his trainee with a perfect touch when it comes to lifting watches, craves the “big sting.” Nicky wants nothing to do with that. Or does he? The first half of the movie is actually quite good, as we see Nicky showing Jess the ropes and battling with an urge to gamble. The second half of the film goes a little off course as Nicky goes to work for racecar mogul Garriga (Rodrigo Santoro) involving some sort of speed-reducing scheme. Gerald McRaney shows up as a grouchy bodyguard during this portion of the film, and he helps to elevate it over the material. As a conman movie, this one falls way short of films like The Sting, but is much better than crap like Now You See Me. For Will Smith films, it also falls somewhere in the middle. As for Robbie, well, just see it for the watch-robbing Robbie. She steals the movie, lifting that sucker right off of Will Smith’s unsuspecting wrist.

The Gunman

I’ll say this for Sean Penn: even though he has a major smoker’s face, he’s sporting some pretty nice muscularity at this stage in his life. Seriously, he’s got the six-pack abs, and some major shoulder and back muscles leading down to an impressive, slender waist. While I didn’t exactly get a glimpse of his buttocks, I have to imagine that they are smooth and rock hard, enviable for all men over 50. When properly oiled, his surfer body is the sort of thing to make humans of all genders and sexual preferences swoon. I wonder whether his is a body made by steroids, or HGH, or just the toned, shaped, visually delicious yet functional results of a man who works hard and cares about himself. I wonder why he would do all this work on those fabulous muscles and still smoke cigarettes, a habit that destroys him little by little with every puff, like mold on a fine art painting. I wonder what he drinks in the morning, whether it’s a protein shake full of nutritious supplements, or just a big glass of raw eggs Rocky style. While I’m at it, let’s not ignore his hair. I think it’s dyed, but not to an extent that makes him look like “old guy trying to look young.” I feel his stylist should be commended. He or she has found the right balance in that dye mix. Topping it all off is a nice pencil mustache, with just enough of a soul patch under his lip to make Frank Zappa proud. All in all, I can see why Charlize Theron is dating Sean Penn. He is, indeed, a catch, even if he tastes and smells like a stank ashtray. Oh, and I almost forgot. … This movie, with his hunky ass playing an assassin trying to make good on his sins, is freaking terrible!

Spring

Still Alice

Some might find the supernatural elements of this horror/romance film to be a little hard to swallow. For me, the part of this film that’s really hard to swallow is that a short order cook could just pick up and go to Italy from the U.S. at a moment’s notice. No way! Not on his salary. The short order cook is Evan, played by likeable actor Lou Taylor Pucci. After the death of his parents and a bar fight, he flees to Italy where he meets the love of his life, Louise (Nadia Hilker). Nadia has it all: the looks, the intelligence and sly wit, and the tendency to shape shift into catlike and reptilian monsters. Directors Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, with a script by Benson, have made a film that’s genuinely scary, genuinely touching and genuinely funny all at once. Pucci and Hilker are good together, especially in the moments after Evan discovers Louise’s primordial secrets. The way the couple deals with her monster moments is surprisingly funny stuff. As for the horror effects, they are quite good given the film’s small budget. Add this one to the list of decent horror efforts that expand upon the genre in the last couple of years, along with The Babadook and It Follows. (Available for rent on iTunes, Amazon.com and On Demand during a limited theatrical run.)

Early-onset Alzheimer’s disease steals the mind of a very smart woman in this heartbreaking film. Julianne Moore plays Alice, a professor at Columbia University who leads a very organized and regimented life of lectures, dinner parties and runs in the park. Alice starts forgetting words here and there, and then proceeds to lose her place in lectures. When she loses her way during a routine jog and can’t find her way home, she begins to realize that these aren’t normal memory loss problems for a 50-year-old woman. At first, Alice thinks she has a brain tumor. But some memory tests suggest to her neurologist (Stephen Kunken) that something else could be causing her difficulties. After a series of brain scans, the conclusion is made: Alice has Alzheimer’s. Moore gives us a deep, fully realized, multi-dimensional performance that never overdoes the sentiment or feels trite. Alice is a woman who prides herself on her encyclopedic knowledge for teaching, and exhibits nothing but grace as that knowledge is rapidly stripped away. Credit Moore for making every step of Alice’s tribulations seem honest and credible. A great supporting cast includes Alec Baldwin, Kristen Stewart and Kate Bosworth.

Pacific coast Sunset District “As people listen to my music, I want them to question what and who is most valuable to them,” said Scott Sullivan, the by Anna Hart man behind Sunset District. Formed in 2010, Sunset District began as a duo, yet over time it became a solo acoustic rock project. Photo/AnnA hArt

“When Sunset District started, there were two of us,” said Sullivan. “We had heard of a band, Blind Pilot, touring from Washington down to San Diego, California, all by bicycle. So we decided to try it as well. We bought little trailers to hitch onto our bikes, and we rode from Canada to Mexico, playing shows along the way. That’s how it all started. But it’s just me now.” Sullivan embodies the vision of the stereotypical long-haired, nomadic musician, yet exudes an air of gravitas and wisdom that isn’t often found in 23-year-olds. For the most part, the music of Sunset District consists of a strippeddown pairing of Sullivan and his acoustic guitar. Lyrically, Sullivan unapologetically opens himself up to vulnerability, while still maintaining a stylistic edginess. As is the common practice, Sullivan gathers inspiration from his

Songwriter Scott Sullivan, of Sunset District, doesn't usually like songs about love.

For more information, visit www.facebook. com/LeSunsetDistrict.

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ARTS&CULTURE

own life. With songs ranging from hopeful and contented to defiant and cynical, Sullivan addresses ideas like the wonders of human potential to the uncomfortable reality of mortality. Much of what Sullivan has written about has sprung from what he encountered while traveling around the world, to places like Costa Rica, Africa and India, spending time feeding hungry people, researching sex trafficking and developing relationships with locals. While some experiences influenced the general tone or theme of his work, others left a more concrete mark in Sullivan’s music. “One of the songs I wrote was about a time when I lived with one of my friends in a slum in Africa,” said Sullivan, referencing his song “Lovely Me.” “One day, a man we met named Martin came and knocked on our door early in the morning. He asked us to come out and see something. … I guess a young lady had snapped her baby’s neck and left him in a bush outside our house. That’s what I wrote [‘Lovely Me’] about.” Sullivan, although not one to shy away from hope or death as subject matters for his music, did, however, choose to eschew one omnipresent subject in his songs: Love. “I got sick of hearing love songs on the radio. I thought, ‘Is that real? Is any of it real?’ So I chose to never write a song about love or a girl until I knew she was going to be my wife.” In the five years since Sunset District was first created, Sullivan continues to perform, most recently in coordination with Into the Wilderness, an organization that organizes monthly shows featuring local musicians. Now however, Sullivan endeavors to focus more of his energy in a recording studio than on a stage. Alongside this, Sunset District is in the midst of assembling a music video to accompany his song “Friend.” It’s the first song that Sullivan has ever written for a woman. “‘Friend’ is about me realizing that I wanted to get married and that I needed a friend,” he said. “I wrote this song [for a woman] before she even knew that I liked her. After I wrote it, about two months later, I went up to her and said, ‘Hey I don’t know if you’ve noticed me. But I love you, and I want to marry you, and I wrote this song for you.’” That woman has been his wife for over a year. Ω ART OF THE STATE

FOODFINDS

FILM

MUSICBEAT

NIGHTCLUBS/CASINOS

THIS WEEK

MISCELLANY

MARCH 26, 2015

RN&R

THURSDAY 3/26 3RD STREET

125 W. Third St., (775) 323-5005

Blues jam w/Blue Haven, 9:30pm, no cover

5 STAR SALOON

Karaoke, 10pm, no cover

BAR OF AMERICA

Rustler’s Moon, 8pm, no cover

132 West St., (775) 329-2878 10042 Donner Pass Rd., Truckee; (530) 587-2626

Rosco Bandana March 27, 10 p.m. Crystal Bay Club 14 Highway 28 Crystal Bay 833-6333

FRIDAY 3/27

SATURDAY 3/28

44th Anniversary Celebration, 10pm, $5 after 10pm

SUNDAY 3/29

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 3/30-4/1

Drinking with Clowns, 9pm, no cover

DG Kicks, 9pm, Tu, no cover After Mic, 11:30pm, W, no cover

Dance party w/DJ DoublePlay, 10pm, no cover before 10pm, $5 after

Open Mic w/Steve Elegant, 7pm, Tu, no cover Karaoke, 10pm, W, no cover

BAR-M-BAR

816 Highway 40 West, Verdi; (775) 351-3206

Monday Night Open Mic, 8pm, M, no cover

BRASSERIE ST. JAMES

Strange on the Range, 7pm, W, no cover

901 S. Center St., (775) 348-8888

CARGO AT WHITNEY PEAK HOTEL

The Floyd: A Tribute To The Pink Floyd Experience, 8pm, $10-$15

255 N. Virginia St., (775) 398-5400

CEOL IRISH PUB

538 S. Virginia St., (775) 329-5558

Pub Quiz Trivia Night, 8pm, no cover

Neil O’Kane, 9pm, no cover

Traditional Irish Tune Session, 7pm, Tu, no cover

Doc’s Holiday, 9pm, no cover

COMMA COFFEE

Carson Feet Warmers, 11:30am, Tu, no cover Dave Leather, noon, W, no cover

312 S. Carson St., Carson City; (775) 883-2662

Comedy

COTTONWOOD RESTAURANT & BAR 10142 Rue Hilltop, Truckee; (530) 587-5711

3rd Street, 125 W. Third St., 323-5005: Comedy Night & Improv w/Patrick Shillito, W, 9pm, no cover Carson Nugget, 507 N. Carson St., Carson City, 882-1626: Geechy Guy, F, 7:30pm, $12-$15 Catch a Rising Star, Silver Legacy, 407 N. Virginia St., 329-4777: Ryan Maher, Th, Su, 7:30pm, $15.95; F, 7:30pm, 10pm, $15.95; Sa, 7:30pm, 10pm, $17.95; Dave Mencarelli, Tu-W, 7:30pm, $15.95 The Improv at Harveys Cabaret, Harveys Lake Tahoe, Stateline, (800) 553-1022: Ritch Shydner, Tracey MacDonald, Th-F, Su, 9pm, $25; Sa, 8pm, 10pm, $30; Darryl Lenox, Rick Ingraham, W, 9pm, $25 Reno-Tahoe Comedy at Pioneer Underground, 100 S. Virginia St., 686-6600: Kirby St. Romain, F, 8:30pm, $15-$17; Geechy Guy, Sa, 6:30pm, 9:30pm, $15-$17

Dan Frenchette & Laurel Thomsen, 7pm, no cover

DAVIDSON’S DISTILLERY

Rick Hammond Band, 9:30pm, no cover

275 E. Fourth St., (775) 324-1917

EL CORTEZ LOUNGE

235 W. Second St., (775) 324-4255

Matthew Szlachetka and Friends, 7pm, no cover Karaoke w/Nitesong Productions, 9pm, Tu, Open Mic/Ladies Night, 8:30pm, W, no cover

Chaz O’Neill Band, 9:30pm, no cover

DJ Trivia, 9pm, no cover

ELBOW ROOM BAR

Karaoke Night, 6:30pm, Tu, no cover

2002 Victorian Ave., Sparks; (775) 356-9799

FUEGO

Live flamenco guitar music, 5:30pm, no cover

170 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-1800

THE GRID BAR & GRILL

Karaoke w/Andrew, 9pm, no cover

8545 N. Lake Blvd., Kings Beach; (530) 546-0300

HANGAR BAR

Karaoke Kat, 9pm, no cover

10603 Stead Blvd., Stead; (775) 677-7088

HARRY’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL 9825 S. Virginia St., (775) 622-8878

Canyon White Open Mic Night, 8pm, no cover Open mic, 7pm, no cover

1100 E. Plumb Ln., (775) 828-7665

HELLFIRE SALOON

Bass Heavy, 9pm, W, $TBA

Thursday Open Mic Night, 7pm, no cover

Greg Austin, 8pm, no cover

John Dawson Band, 8:30pm, no cover

HIMMEL HAUS

Open Mic Night, 9pm, M, no cover Trivia Night, 9pm, W, no cover

3819 Saddle Rd., South Lake Tahoe; (530) 314-7665

Think you know your limits? Think again. If you drink, don’t drive. Period. THESE DON’T MIX Thursday, April 23 Donny McCaslin with The Collective

University of Nevada, Reno

ReNo

L F i T a eS V aZZ

April 23-25, 2015

Always the best in JAZZ — concerts, competitions & clinics!

RN&R

MARCH 26, 2015

7:30 p.m., Nightingale Concert Hall

Friday, April 24 Festival Competition and Clinics 8 a.m.- 6 p.m., University campus

SFJAZZ Collective / Vertical Voices 7:30 p.m., Lawlor Events Center Festival and Ticket Information:

(775) 784-4046

jazz@unr.edu www.unr.edu/rjf

Saturday, April 25 Festival Competition and Clinics 8 a.m.- 5 p.m., University campus

Festival Showcase and Awards Ceremony 6:30 p.m., Lawlor Events Center

Jazz Fan Pass!

General $60 / Senior $50

Provides entrance to all festival events. Call (775) 784-4278 to order.

Be a jazz volunteer! Want to earn a free concert ticket? Be a jazz volunteer! For details call (775) 762-4858 or email jazzvolunteer@unr.edu. Funded in part by a grant from the Nevada Arts Council, a state agency,; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency; and the City of Reno.

@RenoJazzFest

THURSDAY THURSDAY3/26 3/26 THE THEHOLLAND HOLLANDPROJECT PROJECT 140140Vesta VestaSt.,St.,(775) (775)742-1858 742-1858

JUB JUBJUB’S JUB’STHIRST THIRSTPARLOR PARLOR 7171S.S.Wells WellsAve., Ave.,(775) (775)384-1652 384-1652 1) 1)Showroom Showroom2)2)Main MainBarBar

FRIDAY FRIDAY3/27 3/27

SATURDAY SATURDAY3/28 3/28

G.G.Green, Green,The TheYoung YoungEvils, Evils,7:30pm, 7:30pm,$5$5

Corners, Corners,Ghost GhostFriends, Friends,LTD, LTD,8pm, 8pm,$5$5

Broken BrokenWater, Water,Night NightSchool, School,City CityWolves, Wolves, Self SelfDefense DefenseFamily, Family,Seas Seas&&Centuries, Centuries, Leucrota, Leucrota,Dissidence, Dissidence,8pm 8pmTu,Tu,$5$5 8pm, 8pm, LaLaLuz, 8pm,$7$7 8pm,$7$7 Luz,Will WillSprott, Sprott,8pm, 8pm,W,W,$7$7

SUNDAY SUNDAY3/29 3/29

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY MONDAY-WEDNESDAY3/30-4/1 3/30-4/1

1) 1)Atomic AtomicAve AveModel ModelCasting Casting Competition, Competition,9pm, 9pm,$10 $10

1) 1)Allegaeon, Allegaeon,Product ProductofofHate, Hate, Ostracized, Ostracized,Sinicle, Sinicle,Mustakrakish, Mustakrakish, Seductive Rage, 7pm, $10 -$13 Seductive Rage, 7pm, $10 -$13

1) 1)D.R.I., D.R.I.,Infecto InfectoSkeletons, Skeletons,Out OutFor ForWar, War, Liver LiverScars, Scars,Vampirates, Vampirates,8pm, 8pm,W,W,$15$15 2)2)Blazin Mics!, 10pm, M, no cover Blazin Mics!, 10pm, M, no cover

THE THEJUNGLE JUNGLE

Outspoken: Outspoken:Open OpenMic MicNight, Night, 7pm, 7pm,M,M,nonocover cover

246246W.W.First FirstSt.,St.,(775) (775)329-4484 329-4484

KNITTING KNITTINGFACTORY FACTORYCONCERT CONCERTHOUSE HOUSE

Spring SpringBling Bling2015 2015w/Pretty w/PrettyRicky, Ricky,Rayven Rayven The TheBOOM! BOOM!w/The w/TheOriginalz, Originalz,Boggan, Boggan, Justice, Justice,Priceless PricelessDaDaRoc, Roc,8pm, 8pm,$25-$35 $25-$35 Subdocta, Subdocta,Blue BlueLouie, Louie,7pm, 7pm,$5-$10 $5-$10

211211N.N.Virginia VirginiaSt.,St.,(775) (775)323-5648 323-5648

THE THELOVING LOVINGCUP CUP

188188California CaliforniaAve., Ave.,(775) (775)322-2480 322-2480

Annie AnnieGirl Girl&&The TheFlight, Flight,Vanwave, Vanwave, 9pm, 9pm,$TBA $TBA

The TheBindlestiffs, Bindlestiffs,Wing Wing&&Claw, Claw, 9pm, 9pm,$TBA $TBA

MOODY’S MOODY’SBISTRO BISTROBAR BAR&&BEATS BEATS

Paul PaulCovarelli CovarelliGroup, Group,8pm, 8pm,nonocover cover

Steven StevenRoth, Roth,8:30pm, 8:30pm,nonocover cover

10007 10007Bridge BridgeSt.,St.,Truckee; Truckee;(530) (530)587-8688 587-8688

The TheSoft SoftWhite WhiteSixties, Sixties,9pm, 9pm,$TBA $TBA

O’SKIS O’SKISPUB PUB&&GRILLE GRILLE

906-A 906-AVictorian VictorianAve., Ave.,Sparks; Sparks;(775) (775)358-5484 358-5484

Acoustic AcousticWonderland WonderlandSinger-Songwriter Singer-Songwriter DJ Razz, 9pm, no cover DJ Razz, 9pm, no cover Showcase, Showcase,8pm, 8pm,nonocover cover

POLO POLOLOUNGE LOUNGE

Chris ChrisCosta, Costa,8pm, 8pm,nonocover cover

1559 1559S.S.Virginia VirginiaSt.,St.,(775) (775)322-8864 322-8864

Johnny JohnnyLipka’s Lipka’sGemini, Gemini, 9pm, 9pm,nonocover cover

RED REDDOG DOGSALOON SALOON

RUBEN’S RUBEN’SCANTINA CANTINA

Reggae ReggaeNight, Night,10pm, 10pm,nonocover cover

1483 1483E. E.Fourth FourthSt.,St.,(775) (775)622-9424 622-9424 219219W.W.Second SecondSt.,St.,(775) (775)657-9466 657-9466

Trey TreyStone StoneBand, Band,9pm, 9pm,nonocover cover

Jacksboro JacksboroHighway, Highway,8pm, 8pm,nonocover cover

7676N.N.C CSt.,St.,Virginia VirginiaCity; City;(775) (775)847-7474 847-7474

SINGER SINGERSOCIAL SOCIALCLUB CLUB

PP ooststsh shoowwssoonnlin re reggisisteteririnngga lineebbyy tt a wwwwww .n.neewwsr sreevvieieww .c.coomm /r/reennoo. .DDea eaddlin e lin is e th is thee FrFrididayaybbeefo fore re ppuubblic licaa titioonn. .

Blues BluesJam JamThursday, Thursday, 7pm, 7pm,nonocover cover Musicole Musicolewith withMichael MichaelC,C, 9pm, 9pm,nonocover cover

Just JustUs,Us,9pm, 9pm,nonocover cover

ST. ST.JAMES JAMESINFIRMARY INFIRMARY

Local LocalMusic MusicNight Nightw/local w/localbands bands ororlocal localDJs, DJs,9pm, 9pm,nonocover cover

Dance Danceparty, party,9pm, 9pm,nonocover cover

, , Bohemian NothingSacred Sacred BohemianBurlesque: Burlesque:Nothing 8pm, 8pm,$15-$20 $15-$20

Bohemian , , BohemianBurlesque: Burlesque:Nothing NothingSacred Sacred 8pm, 8pm,$15-$20 $15-$20

1237 1237Baring BaringBlvd., Blvd.,Sparks; Sparks;(775) (775)409-3340 409-3340 445 445California CaliforniaAve., Ave.,(775) (775)657-8484 657-8484 432432E. E.Fourth FourthSt.,St.,(775) (775)737-9776 737-9776

Zen ZenLeprechaun, Leprechaun,Rachmanamiss, Rachmanamiss, 8pm, 8pm,$5$5

WILD WILDRIVER RIVERGRILLE GRILLE

HipHipHop HopOpen OpenMic, Mic,10pm, 10pm,W,W,nonocover cover

DJ DJEarwaxxx Earwaxxx March March28, 28,1010p.m. p.m. Grand GrandSierra SierraResort Resort 2500 E. Second 2500 E. SecondSt. St. 789-2000 789-2000

Tuesday Night Trivia, 8pm, Tu,Tu, Reno Beer and Tuesday Night Trivia, 8pm, Reno Beer and Record Club w/guest DJs, 9pm, W,W, nono cover Record Club w/guest DJs, 9pm, cover

Sunday SundayJazz, Jazz,2pm, 2pm,nonocover cover

1717S.S.Virginia VirginiaSt.,St.,(775) (775)284-7455 284-7455

WILDFLOWER WILDFLOWERVILLAGE VILLAGE

Open OpenMic MicNight, Night,7pm, 7pm,M,M,W,W,nonocover cover

Ladies LadiesNight Nightw/live w/liveacoustic acousticand andDJDJset, set, 5pm, 5pm,W,W,nonocover cover

SPARKS SPARKSLOUNGE LOUNGE

STUDIO STUDIOON ON4TH 4TH

March March28, 28,8 8p.m. p.m. Harrah’s Harrah’sLake LakeTahoe Tahoe 1515Highway 50 Highway 50 Stateline Stateline 588-6611 588-6611

Shamrockit ShamrockitOpen OpenMic MicNight, Night, 6pm, 6pm,nonocover cover

840840Victorian VictorianAve., Ave.,Sparks; Sparks;(775) (775)359-7547 359-7547

PADDY PADDY&&IRENE’S IRENE’SIRISH IRISHPUB PUB

Religious ReligiousGirls, Girls,Couches, Couches,M,M,9pm, 9pm,$TBA $TBA Whatitdo WhatitdoWednesday, Wednesday,9pm, 9pm,W,W,nonocover cover

Cabana, Cabana,9pm, 9pm,$TBA $TBA

Punch PunchBrothers Brothers

1) 1)The TheWriters’ Writers’Block BlockOpen OpenMic, Mic,

1) 1)Reno RenoMusic MusicProject ProjectOpen OpenMic, Mic, 7pm, 7pm,nonocover cover

4275-4395 4275-4395W.W.Fourth FourthSt.,St.,(775) (775)787-3769 787-3769 7pm, 7pm,nonocover cover 1) 1)Golden GoldenRose RoseCafe Cafe2)2)Green GreenFairy FairyPubPub3)3)Cabaret Cabaret

3)3)TexTexWeir, Weir,6:30pm, 6:30pm,nonocover cover

3)3)Red RedDawn, Dawn,Jack JackDiDiCarlo, Carlo, 5pm, 5pm,nonocover cover

1) 1)Comedy ComedyPower PowerHour HourOpen OpenMic, Mic, 8pm, 8pm,Tu,Tu,nonocover cover

Shop local and Save

crack the code

404 Scytale Barrel-Aged IImperial Stout is delicately crafted using ingredients in of the highest order and guided by our love of brewing – this is one deeply comp complex and intimate Imperial Stout weighing in i at 13% ABV. Aged in whiskey barrels for precisely precis 404 days, the result is a layered tapestry of su sublime aromas and tastes that will lead you on o an unexpected journey – in more ways th than one.

Gift certificateS to local merchantS for up to 50% off

RN&R

w w w. n e w s r e v i e w. c o m

Available as a li limited release at our brewpubs and select beEr stores whil while it lasts. Reno:

5525 S. Virginia St. 775.284.7711

Sparks:

846 Victorian Ave. 775.355.7711

greatbasinbrewingco.com

RN&R RN&R

| |

25 25

ATLANTIS CASINO RESORT SPA 3800 S. Virginia St., (775) 825-4700 1) Grand Ballroom Stage 2) Cabaret

THURSDAY 3/26

FRIDAY 3/27

SATURDAY 3/28

SUNDAY 3/29

2) Kick, 8pm, no cover

2) Kick, 4pm, no cover Steppen Stonz, 10pm, no cover

2) Steppen Stonz, 8pm, no cover

2) Rosco Bandana, 10pm, no cover

2) Mark Sexton Band, 10pm, no cover

CRYSTAL BAY CLUB

14 Hwy. 28, Crystal Bay; (775) 833-6333 1) Crown Room 2) Red Room

Crankshaft & The Gear Grinders March 26, 7 p.m. March 27-28, 8 p.m. Peppermill 2707 S. Virginia St. 826-2121

ELDORADO RESORT CASINO 345 N. Virginia St., (775) 786-5700 1) Showroom 2) Brew Brothers 3) NoVi

1) Madame Houdini, Enchantress of the Elements, 7pm, $24.95+ 2) Brazen, 10:30pm, no cover

1) Madame Houdini, Enchantress of the Elements, 8pm, $24.95+ 2) Brazen, 10:30pm, no cover

1) Madame Houdini, Enchantress of the Elements, 7pm, 9:30pm, $24.95+ 2) Brazen, 10:30pm, no cover

GRAND SIERRA RESORT

2) Flirt Thursdays, 10pm, no cover

2) DJ Earwaxxx, 10pm, $25 3) Boots & Daisy Dukes w/DJ Jamie G, 10pm, no cover

2) DJ Enfo, 10pm, $30 3) County Social Saturdays w/DJ Jamie G, 10pm, no cover

1) Alkadelics, 9pm, no cover

1) Night Ranger, 9pm, $45-$55

2) DJ JosBeatz, 10pm, $20 3) Arty the Party, 9pm, no cover

1) Punch Brothers, 8pm, $44 2) DJ Rick Gee, 10pm, $20 3) Arty the Party, 9pm, no cover

1) Chippendales the Show, 7pm, 10pm, $39.50-$40.50

1) Chippendales the Show, 7pm, 10pm, $39.50-$40.50 3) DJ/dancing, 9pm, no cover

3) DJ/dancing, 5pm, live music, 8pm,

3) DJ/dancing, 5pm, live music, 8pm, no cover

1) Rotary’s Got Talent...or Not , 7pm, $25 3) DJ/dancing, 5pm, live music, 8pm, no cover

1) 10th Annual Wild & Scenic Film Festival, 7pm, $10-$20

1) The Beach Boys, 9pm, $50-$60 3) Boogie Nights, 9pm, $10

3) Boogie Nights, 9pm, $10 4) Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

2) Crankshaft & The Gear Grinders, 7pm, no cover 3) Ritual and Crusade, 8pm, $20-$25

2) Crankshaft & The Gear Grinders, 8pm, no cover 3) Fixx Fridays, 7:30pm, $10 after 8pm

2) Crankshaft & The Gear Grinders, 8pm, no cover

2500 E. Second St., (775) 789-2000 3) Honky Tonk Thursdays w/DJ Jamie G, 1) Grand Theater 2) Lex Nightclub 3) Sports Book 10pm, no cover 4) Summit Pavilion 5) Silver State Pavilion

HARRAH’S LAKE TAHOE

15 Hwy. 50, Stateline; (775) 588-6611 1) South Shore Room 2) Peek Nightclub 3) Center Stage Lounge

HARRAH’S RENO

Cobra Lounge at Asian Noodles, 1290 E. Plumb Lane, Ste. 1, 828-7227: Cash Karaoke w/Jacques Simard, Sa, 8pm, no cover

219 N. Center St., (775) 788-2900 1) Sammy’s Showroom 2) The Zone 3) Sapphire Lounge 4) Plaza 5) Convention Center

Murphy’s Law Irish Pub, 180 W. Peckham Lane, Ste. 1070, 823-9977: Steve Starr Karaoke, F, 9pm, no cover

JA NUGGET

Spiro’s Sports Bar & Grille, 1475 E. Prater Way, Ste. 103, Sparks, 356-6000: F-Sa, 9pm, no cover

MONTBLEU RESORT

West Second Street Bar, 118 W. Second St., 384-7976: Daily, 8pm, no cover

PEPPERMILL RESORT SPA CASINO

1100 Nugget Ave., Sparks; (775) 356-3300 no cover 1) Celebrity Showroom 2) Rose Ballroom 3) Gilley’s 55 Hwy. 50, Stateline; (800) 648-3353 1) Theatre 2) Opal 3) Blu 4) The Zone 2707 S. Virginia St., (775) 826-2121 1) Tuscany Ballroom 2) Terrace Lounge 3) Edge 4) Capri Ballroom

3) DJ/dancing, 5pm, no cover

1) Banff Mountain Film Festival, 7pm, M, $16-$20

2) Liam Kyle Cahill, 6pm, no cover

SANDS REGENCY CASINO HOTEL SILVER LEGACY

407 N. Virginia St., (775) 325-7401 1) Grand Exposition Hall 2) Rum Bullions Island Bar 3) Aura Ultra Lounge 4) Silver Baron Lounge

RN&R

MARCH 26, 2015

2) Liam Kyle Cahill, 6pm, M, Tu, W, no cover

1) Blues Jam Wednesday, 7pm, W, no cover

345 N. Arlington Ave., (775) 348-2200 1) 3rd Street Lounge 2) Copa Bar & Grill

1) Madame Houdini, Enchantress of the Elements, 8pm, Tu, 7pm, W, $24.95+ 2) Brazen, 10:30pm, W, no cover

HARD ROCK HOTEL & CASINO 50 Hwy. 50, Stateline; (844) 588-7625 1) Vinyl

Karaoke

1) Madame Houdini, Enchantress of the Elements, 7pm, $24.95+ 2) Brazen, 10:30pm, no cover

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 3/30-4/1

2) Bonzai Thursdays w/DJ Trivia, 8pm, no cover 3) University of Aura, 9pm, no cover

2) Big Bad Boogie Rock, 9pm, no cover 3) Fashion Friday, 9pm, no cover 4) Mike Furlong Band, 9pm, no cover

1) The Mavericks, 8pm, $68.25 2) Big Bad Boogie Rock, 9pm, no cover 3) Seduction Saturdays, 9pm, $5 4) Mike Furlong Band, 9pm, no cover

2) Recovery Sundays, 10pm, no cover 3) Industry Night, 9pm, no cover

2) Gong Show Karaoke, 8pm, Tu, no cover Country-Rock Bingo w/Jeff Gregg, 9pm, W, no cover

For a complete listing of this week’s events, visit newsreview.com/reno

Animal Ark opens for the season The wildlife sanctuary and nature center opens its gates for another season starting this Saturday, March 28. This year, the Ark offers 16 special events, free educational lectures by local wildlife professionals, keeper talks, and close-up viewing of resident animals. Visiting hours are 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday. The center is closed on Monday. Animal Ark, 1265 Deerlodge Road, is located about 25 miles north of Reno. Admission is $10 for adults, $9 for seniors age 62 and older, $6.50 children ages 3-12 and free for children age 2 and younger. Call (775) 970-3111 or visit www.animalark.org.

—Kelley Lang

Unbound

Mozart Mania

Downtown Dance Collective presents this evening of original and innovative contemporary dance works performed in an intimate black-box setting. The performance features choreography by Rosie Trump | With or Without Dance, belle contemporary dance co., Great Basin Movement Project and Five Branches Dance, among other local choreographers and dancers, with guest artist Photo51 from Denver, Colo. The show begins at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 26, at the Pioneer Center for the Performing Arts, 100 S. Virginia St. Tickets are $15 general admission and $10 for students. Call 843-5217 or visit www.eveallendance.com.

Nevada Chamber Opera presents scenes from three of Mozart’s most-performed operas: Le Nozze di Figaro, Cosi Fan Tutte and Don Giovanni. This production is a collaboration with the University Symphony Orchestra and will be conducted by Jason Altieri. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, March 27-28, and at 2 p.m. on Sunday, March 29, at the Nightingale Concert Hall inside the Church Fine Arts Complex, 1335 N. Virginia St., at the University of Nevada, Reno. Tickets are $15 for general admission and $5 for students with ID. Call 784-4278 or visit www.unr.edu/arts.

OPINION

NEWS

GREEN

FEATURE STORY

ARTS&CULTURE

ART OF THE STATE

Reno Spiritual and Wellness Expo

12th Annual African Dinner

Tap into your spiritual side this weekend during the Reno Psychic Institute’s spring expo. Themed “Path of Creativity,” the event features free workshops, creativity energy healings, readings, jewelry and gems, natural skin care products, health food demos, entertainment and more. The gathering takes place from 9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Saturday, March 28, and 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Sunday, March 29, at the Reno-Sparks Convention Center, 4590 S. Virginia St. Tickets are $7-$8. Call 324-2872 or visit http://renopsychicfair.com.

FOODFINDS

FILM

MUSICBEAT

Burning Inquiry: Coyote Goes to Burning Man

Enjoy authentic African cuisine, live entertainment, a silent auction and a raffle at this fund-raising event hosted by the University of Nevada, Reno’s Student Association for International Water Issues. The nonprofit promotes research, education and training concerning international water issues in partnership with the International Development Mission. The event will raise awareness of and money for water-related projects in developing nations. The dinner begins at 5:30 p.m. on Saturday, March 28, in the California Building at Idlewild Park, 75 Cowan Drive. Tickets are $40 general admission, $20 for students and $10 for children age 12 and younger. Call 530-7299 or visit www.saiwi.org.

NIGHTCLUBS/CASINOS

THIS WEEK

MISCELLANY

Spend April Fool’s evening with with Danger Ranger, a.k.a. Michael Mikel, who will explore the historical roots of tricksters, pranksters and surrealistic art at Burning Man and the San Francisco Cacophony Society. Mikel is the director of advanced social systems for the Burning Man Project. He is also a San Francisco Cacophony Society member. The Cacophony Society is a randomly gathered network of people united in the pursuit of experiences beyond the pale of mainstream society through subversion, pranks, art and fringe explorations. The talk begins at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, April 1, at the MathewsonIGT Knowledge Center at the University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia St. The event is free, but reservations are encouraged. RSVP at https://burninginquiry.eventbrite.com.

MARCH 26, 2015

RN&R

Eyes that light up a womb

Terry Lee Wells Nevada Discovery Museum

2 OFF

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General Admission Per Person! 28 | RN&R |

MARCH 26, 2015

I’m a 35-year-old guy who’s doing online dating and who’s against having kids for moral reasons. I love kids, but I just don’t think we need any more people on this crowded planet. I’m wondering whether I should make the “no kids” thing clear in my profile. I know this can be a deal-breaker for many women. Saying you won’t have kids for “moral reasons” sounds better than my reasons: I find them loud, sticky and expensive. The good news is that if you truly like kids, you don’t have to bring them into the world to bring them into your life. There’s adoption, of course (though most women who can give birth to children will want to instead of importing one “made in China”). But there are also countless kids already in existence whose divorced, widowed or otherwise single moms have a harder time finding boyfriends—even if they’re uber-hot and so sweet they make your teeth hurt. Do profile searches for moms, and say in your profile that you don’t want to create new Earthlings but love kids and are open to a woman who already has some. To describe the likely spike in your popularity after hanging the “welcome, single moms!” sign, well, ever watch a pack of wild dingoes descend on a downed cow? Then again, say you like your life child-free but went all eco-pacifist so you wouldn’t seem like a big meanie. Definitely put the “nobody’s daddy” thing in your profile. You might also want to consider a vasectomy.

More bad news: For some women, not wanting kids at the moment seems to be no guarantee of not eventually wanting them. Badly. Desperately. A study in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology by Finnish researcher Anna Rotkirch found that women who were sure they didn’t want children sometimes found themselves suddenly experiencing “baby fever,” which goes way beyond the wish to have a child. It’s a painful physical longing to have a baby. One of Rotkirch’s subjects, a woman in her 30s who knew it wasn’t the right time for a child, described feeling an “agonizing” and “all-encompassing desire” to have one, to the point where she was “practically ready to rob a sperm bank.” In other words, yes: Disclose! Disclose! Disclose! State your preference in your profile. But don’t think that this will be any sort of mandate for women to care about what you want. Until there’s highly reliable male birth control that doesn’t require a scalpel, make it your priority to find out whether a woman is ethical before having sex with her. It’s really your best—and maybe only—defense against the joy of bringing something into the world that spends half its time hating you and the other half begging you for money. Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

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b e

t h e

f i r s t

t o

by rob brezsny

[[[ experience ]]]

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The term

“jumped the shark” often refers to a TV show that was once great but gradually grew stale, and then resorted to implausible plot twists in a desperate attempt to revive its creative verve. I’m a little worried that you may do the equivalent of jumping the shark in your own sphere. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I’m not at all worried that you’ll jump the shark. It’s true that you did go through a stagnant, meandering phase there for a short time. But you responded by getting fierce and fertile rather than stuck and contrived. Am I right? And now you’re on the verge of breaking out in a surge of just-theright-kind-of-craziness.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you

happen to be singing lead vocals in an Ozzy Osbourne cover band, and someone in the audience throws what you think is a toy rubber animal up on stage, DO NOT rambunctiously bite its head off to entertain everyone. It most likely won’t be a toy, but rather an actual critter. APRIL FOOL! In fact, it’s not likely you’ll be fronting an Ozzy Osbourne cover band any time soon. But I hope you will avoid having to learn a lesson similar to the one that Ozzy did during a show back in 1982, when he bit into a real bat—a small flying mammal with webbed wings—thinking it was a toy. Don’t make a mistake like that. What you think is fake or pretend may turn out to be authentic.

49astro

For the week of March 26,

2015

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the spring

of 1754, Benjamin Franklin visited friends in Maryland. While out riding horses, they spied a small tornado whirling through a meadow. Although Franklin had written about this weather phenomenon, he had never seen it. With boyish curiosity, he sped toward it. At one point, he caught up to it and lashed it with his whip to see if it would dissipate. This is the kind of adventure I advise you to seek out, Gemini. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. I don’t really believe you should endanger your safety by engaging in stunts like chasing tornadoes. But I do think that now is a favorable time to seek out daring exploits that quench your urge to learn.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Novelist L.

Frank Baum created the make-believe realm known as Oz. Lewis Carroll conjured up Wonderland and C. S. Lewis invented Narnia. Now you are primed to dream up your own fantasy land and live there full-time, forever protected from the confusion and malaise of the profane world. Have fun in your imaginary utopia, Cancerian! APRIL FOOL! I halflied. It’s true that now would be a good time to give extra attention to cultivating vivid visions of your perfect life. But I wouldn’t recommend that you live there full-time.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “The national anthem

GRAND OPENING friDAY April 10th

of Hell must be the old Frank Sinatra song ‘I Did It My Way,’” declares Richard Wagner, author of the book Christianity for Dummies. “Selfish pride is Hell’s most common trait,” he adds. “Hell’s inhabitants have a sense of satisfaction that they can at least say ‘they’ve been true to themselves.’” Heed this warning, Leo. Tame your lust for self-expression. APRIL FOOL! I was making a little joke. The truth is not as simplistic as I implied. I actually think it’s important for you to be able to declare “I did it my way” and “I’ve been true to myself.” But for best results, do it in ways that aren’t selfish, insensitive or arrogant.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): No matter what

90 Auto Center Dr.

gender you are, it’s an excellent time to get a gig as a stripper. Your instinct for removing your clothes in entertaining ways is at a peak. Even if you have never been trained in the art, I bet you’ll have an instinctive knack. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I don’t really think you should be a stripper. But I do recommend you experiment with a more metaphorical version of that art. For instance, you could expose hidden agendas that are causing distortions and confusion. You could peel away the layers of deception and propaganda that hide the naked facts and the beautiful truth.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Give yourself

obsessively to your most intimate relationships. Don’t bother cleaning your house. Call in sick to your job. Ignore all your nagging little errands. Now is a time for one task

30 | RN&R |

MARCH 26, 2015

only: paying maximum attention to those you care about most. Heal any rifts between you. Work harder to give them what they need. Listen to them with more empathy than ever before. APRIL FOOL! I went a bit overboard there. It’s true that you’re in a phase when big rewards can come from cultivating and enhancing togetherness. But if you want to serve your best relationships, you must also take very good care of yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It’s after

midnight. You’re half-wasted, cruising around town looking for wicked fun. You stumble upon a warehouse laboratory where zombie bankers and military scientists are creating genetically engineered monsters from the DNA of scorpions, Venus’ flytraps and Monsanto executives. You try to get everyone in a party mood, but all they want to do is extract your DNA and add it to the monsters. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a lie. I doubt you’ll encounter any scenario that extreme. But you are at risk for falling into weird situations that could compromise your mental hygiene. To minimize that possibility, make sure that the wicked fun you pursue is healthy, sane, wicked fun.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

If you were a ladybug beetle, you might be ready and eager to have sex for nine hours straight. If you were a pig, you’d be capable of enjoying 30-minute orgasms. If you were a dolphin, you’d seek out erotic encounters not just with other dolphins of both genders, but also with turtles, seals and sharks. Since you are merely human, however, your urges will probably be milder and more containable. APRIL FOOL! In truth, Sagittarius, I’m not so sure your urges will be milder and more containable.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “The

past is not only another country where they do things differently,” says writer Theodore Dalrymple, “but also where one was oneself a different person.” With this as your theme, Capricorn, I invite you to spend a lot of time visiting the Old You in the Old World. Immerse yourself in that person and that place. Get lost there. And don’t come back until you’ve relived at least a thousand memories. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating. While it is a good time to get reacquainted with the old days and old ways, I don’t recommend that you get utterly consumed by the past.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some

Aquarian readers have been complaining. They want me to use more celebrity references in my horoscopes. They demand fewer metaphors drawn from literature, art and science, and more metaphors rooted in gossipy events reported on by tabloids. “Tell me how Kanye West’s recent travails relate to my personal destiny,” wrote one Aquarius. So here’s a sop to you kvetchers: The current planetary omens say it’s in your interest to be more like Taylor Swift and less like Miley Cyrus. Be peppy, shimmery and breezy, not earthy, salty, and raucous. APRIL FOOL! In truth, I wouldn’t write about celebrities’ antics if you paid me. Besides, for the time being, Miley Cyrus is a better role model for you than Taylor Swift.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Annie Edson

Taylor needed money. She was 63 years old, and didn’t have any savings. She came up with a plan: to be the first person to tuck herself inside a barrel and ride over Niagara Falls. (This was back in 1901.) She reasoned that her stunt would make her wealthy as she toured the country speaking about it. I recommend that you consider out-of-thebox ideas like hers, Pisces. It’s an excellent time to get extra creative in your approach to raising revenue. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. It’s true that now is a favorable time to be imaginative about your financial life. But don’t try outlandish escapades like hers.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at (877) 873-4888 or (900) 950-7700.

by Georgia Fisher PHOTO/GEORGIA FISHER

Rethinking Ink

Not really. It’s more like older tattoos that they’ve grown out of. There have been a few ring fingers and things like that … but I haven’t seen any exes’ names yet.

Melanie Gregory Tattoo removal is about feeling comfortable, says Melanie Gregory, and sometimes the laser process is more about making room for new art than it is ridding oneself of ink altogether. Gregory and her husband, Ron, just opened Reno Tattoo Removal on Marsh Avenue, in a quaint, artsy little house that dates back to the 1930s. (They’re the RN&R’s new neighbors, actually.) Their place feels a bit like a funky med spa, with a state-ofthe-art laser that Gregory says can remove all colors, even notoriously stubborn blues and greens, and leave little to no blistering. The grand opening is slated for May.

So how’d you get into this business? We wanted a comfortable place where everyone could feel welcome, where you can have something on your body that you’re proud of, and if you want to have something taken off and get something new put on [you can] ... or maybe you just want it off, and that would make you feel better. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin, whether it’s with tattoos or without tattoos. There’s no judgment.

This feels like a good market to touch upon and figure out, since so many people have tattoos now.

OPINION

NEWS

GREEN

We live, eat, breathe and talk about this late at night till our eyes close. It’s truly our passion, and there’s so much involved. It’s not just turning on a laser. It’s understanding people’s skin, and everybody’s so different in the way they react. It’s [related to] their immune system, their complexion, their heritage, their background. Everything plays a huge role. … It’s a big deal for us, having three kids and making this work. Our kids call it “hat-too removal.” Our 6-year-old told us to get a big microphone and put it on the roof, and say, “Hey, everybody, we do hat-too removal here! If you don’t have a hat-too, go get one, and come and see us!” I was like, “That’s good. That’s good advice.” Ω

Who are your clients? What are they like? They range. I would say statistically they’re typically women, but we haven’t been in business that long. The more we talk to people, the more even tattoo artists are talking to us about wanting to get new work—to get rid of old things and bring in the new.

How does that come about? Do they actually send you clients? Yeah. People come to them and say, “Hey, I want this covered up,” and they say, “You know, we can’t really work with that.” You don’t need as many sessions [when undergoing laser removal for the sake of new tattoos]; if you’re getting complete removal, it’s a lot lengthier of a process, so they come in and get a few sessions to get it to the desired lightness for the tattoo artist to work with. Then they go back to their tattoo artist and get something that they really want.

The grass is greener Believe it or else, even with what is obviously going to be yet another crummy year for wetness falling out of the sky (a Tahoe Basin snowpack of 9 percent? Nine percent? There seems little room for doubt now. We have angered the gods, and angered them deeply), there has been quite a bloom of wildflowers in the California deserts these past few weeks. There have been eye-melting bursts of poppies in the famous Antelope Valley Poppy Preserve, acres of flowers in the Carrizo Plain National Monument west of Bakersfield and, yes, even a few good shows in various locations in wondrous Death Valley. But we are not, I’m happy to report, being shut out up here in Northern Nevada. I wasn’t expecting much in the way of botanical beauty on my way to Gerlach a few days ago. In fact, I was kinda grumbling to myself that I’m going the wrong way, that I really should be headed back down to DV, now that the beavertail cacti are coming out with their splashy magenta displays.

Are certain types of tattoos— like, say, exes’ names—the ones that’re most likely to be removed?

∫y Bruce Van Dye

Then, driving along Highway 447 just north of Nixon, it became apparent that Nevada was, in its own subtle way, putting on a springtime show of its own. For out in this Pyramidic zone right now, there is an extraordinary grassburst going on. Yes, a grassburst. Big, fat clumps of green, green grass growing in the shade of every shrub in the desert. And I mean every shrub. Actually, there’s nothing subtle about it. You look off in the distance, and all the hills have a visible green sheen to them. Look closer about you, and all you see is grass grass grass grass grass. The deep vibrant green of their scraggly clumps complements the drab tans and grays of their sheltering shrubs. Yes, we usually get wild grass in spring, it’s true. But this year, it’s a Stone Cold GrassBurst (SCGB), and the resulting splotches, splatters, and carpets of green are making the gnarly ole Silver State look about as Irish as it’s ever gonna look.

FEATURE STORY

ARTS&CULTURE

ART OF THE STATE

It’s not far away, basically between Nixon and mile marker 35 on 447. No, it’s not gonna make the cover of Sunset magazine, and yes, it’s just a bunch of grass, but if you get over that semi-condescending attitude based on a snotty floral chauvinism, well, you might just get your peepers dazzled and your soul soothed by this snazzy blast of emerald eyeball emollient. And as a bonus, in this same general area, the wildflower known as the fiddleneck, a most common and humble little plant, is doing its part to delight the modern jaded psyche. When encountered singly, the fiddleneck really isn’t much of a flower, with its wimpy tiny yellow blooms. But now, in the middle of this giant SCGB, there are about, oh, I’d guess 784 million fiddlenecks goin’ as crazy as fiddlenecks can, and they have the collective power to charm your socks off and ha ha ho ho hee hee hee ... Ω |

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MARCH 26, 2015

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