Issuu on Google+

Disinforming the students and the University community since 1893

VOLUME 14 ISSUE Not Existant

JANUARY 25, 2013

WWW.NCSTATEREJECTS.COM

A scandal within a scandal, within a scandal Chancellor plants scandals to escape tar pit in tar country

MAY B. NAUGHT UNIVERSITY EDITOR

Befuddlement is widespread today on campus as news of yet another scandal surfaces. Chancellor Holden Thorp broke the hearts of students in a press conference when he announced it was he who was behind the AF/AM scandal. “Not only did I know about it, I planned it,” Thorp said. “I just really want to leave. Please let me go.” Teary-eyed students gathered outside of the conference hall, donning “Support Thorp” T-shirts. Senior in environmental film studies Ana Kranism said she is surprised about the twists and turns in this psychological thriller of a scandal. “I thought these scandals were a thing of the past. How is this happening now? This is horrible timing.” But Kranism’s support of soonto-be Professor Thorp is steadfast. “The students are still behind the chancellor, and we will do what we can to keep him here.” Another guy in a Thorp T-shirt said, “It’s like that Inception movie with Jack from Titanic, except there’s no one to kick us back to reality.” During the press conference, Thorp fielded several questions from media, faculty and students, including, “Do you love us as much as we love you?” “Will you stay with us forever?” and “When are you free to

HAIRY PITTS SENIOR STAFF WRITER

DTHELL/ AARON HEAD

come back to my dorm to play with my puppy?” Thorp’s response was short, but it was heartfelt: “To quote author Sarah Dessen’s Dreamland, ‘If you didn’t love him, this never would have happened. But you did. And accepting that love and everything that followed it is part of letting go’ ... And no, I will not play with your puppy, you’re not supposed to have those in your dorm room anyway.”

Emotions reached a fever pitch when all attendees chanted in unison, “Heel no, we won’t let go.” Thorp promptly left the stage after a single tear ran down his cheek. In an exclusive interview with DTH reporter Gail DeSnale, Thorp said, “I just want to go back to teaching at N.C. State, but they won’t let me go. I even told them that I’ve never successfully solved a Rubik’s Cube, I just peeled all of the stickers

off and put them back again — you heard me out there, right?” The interview ended abruptly when the only response Thorp could give was to sob into his hands. Though Chancellor Thorp has officially resigned, hopes are still high that he will, as one student put it, “Hold another press conference, this time with Ashton Kutcher, and say, ‘Y’all have been Punk’d!’”

Hipster-on-hipster collisions prompt text ban RANDY CUMBERSOME EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Sepia toned pictures of the bill written by Mayor Mark Kleinschmidt flooded Instagram today. The bill, which would effectively band texting while walking within Chapel Hill town limits, received unanimous support from the Chapel Hill Town Council. “We can no longer countenance rampant texting while walking in [Chapel Hill]. The number of hipster-on-hipster collisions has never been higher,” Kleinschmidt said during a town hall meeting last Saturday. According to a study published by a local Swedish consultant firm Bjorn Duhl, the collisions commonly happen when two hipsters are looking down to text while walking forward. More than 500 recorded incidents have taken place on campus in the last month alone. “They’re just not paying attention to each other because their faces are buried in their iPhones, and it’s becoming dangerous,” said Otto Kvit, senior partner at Bjorn Duhl. “Even if you are reading the news or doing something productive on your phone, it’s still a threat to the safety of other pedestrians.” “The danger doesn’t just come from bumping beanies,” says sophomore Jo-Anna R. Mentubie, who just recovered from injuries she sustained in a collision. “I had just gotten a non-fat-soy-triple-pump-holdthe-sass latte from the Daily Grind, and I had just Instagramed it. While I was looking down to find the perfect filter, I collided with some guy. At first I thought we were meant to fall in love — like in the movies.” But the love was not meant to

Carrboro changes name in an afternoon

DTHELL/ TINA BOPPER

be for Mentubie — she suffered they’re spending to replace or fix second-degree burns on her hands their iPhones is going to out-of-town and forearms after spilling her latte corporations, rather than staying in upon impact. the local economy.” “Bot h of ou r Irony abounds as “We can iPhones fell to the a survey conducted no longer ground, and my by Bjorn Duhl two screen cracked. It’s years ago reported countenance going to cost a lot a whopping 99 of money to repair, of Chapel rampant texting percent but I love going to Hill residents symthe Apple store, so while walking in pathized with the it’s kind of like a Occupy movement. [Chapel Hill].” In the margins lose-win situation, I guess,” Mentubie of some surveys Mark Kleinschmidt, said. citizens scrawled Chapel Hill mayor Trols Ahl, chief “Corporations can economist at Bjorn Duhl, claims suck it!” the collisions aren’t only hurting Hipster in denial Hyde Insikh laindividuals, but are also starting to ments his expenses from his collihave a negative impact on the local sion. economy. “All of that money that “I tripped and fell into a mud

puddle,” Insikh said. “It was embarrassing and now there’s a hole in my vintage tee, which I have to replace. Not to mention, the girl I crashed into spilled her coffee on my book — Choke by Chuck Palahniuk.” The collisions cost Chapel Hill’s economy an estimated $45,000 a month — money funneled out of the local economy to replace iPhones from Apple and vintage tees from Urban Outfitters. The new bill will take some getting used to for most citizens, but Mayor Kleinschmidt believes it will benefit everybody. “The quicker we fix this problem, the quicker we can get back to building that multi-million dollar turtle sanctuary and mall.”

Greek | page 40

Frapiness | page venti

Online | web page

This day in history

DUES ARE DUE A friendly reminder about the upcoming due date for your fraternity and sorority dues. Payment in liquor or condoms are acceptable, and prefered.

NEW FLAVORED COFFEE New Bleating Sheep ice cream used in new frappuccino recipe. Coupon on page 33.

NEW SURVEY See the rest of the “Risque gallery: Ballin’”

JANUARY 25, 2004 Lance Armstrong claimed he was free of performance-enhancing drugs. Yeah right. #SucksToSuck

The town neighboring Chapel Hill, formerly known as Carrboro, becomes Fixieboro Disgruntled residents of Carrboro assembled Thursday in front of Town Hall in the Farmer’s Market to protest the etymology of the town’s name while advocating to change it to Fixieboro, sweeping in a new law that bans cars in town limits. Under the new law, only fixed gear bikes will be authorized to prowl the town’s streets. During the demonstration, protestors petitioned, assembled and convinced the mayor to hold a referendum between 2:30 and 4:45 p.m., breaking a world civics record. Zaina al-Cous-Cous, the leader of the group of about 200 demonstrators self-dubbed “Fixers,” said the “Carr” in Carrboro was offensive and encouraged “the environmentally irresponsible behavior” of car ownership and fossil fuel consumption. “Having the word ‘car’ within the name of my beloved home sends the wrong message and promotes destructive capitalism and anthropomorphic-itus, a condition of polluting Mother Earth,” al-Cous-Cous said. “By changing the name to Fixieboro, our town can now inspire and embrace healthy lifestyles for us and this planet.” For the past year, al-CousCous, a yoga instructor, and several other yoga studio owners complained of the town’s growing carbon footprint. After an accident Thursday morning in which al-Cous-Cous nearly lost all her organic groceries from the front basket of her rusty 1971 Schwinn, she decided to take action. “I was turning a corner, and out of nowhere came a Toyota Prius,” al-Cous-Cous said. “And those things are nearly silent. I was run into the shoulder of the road, you know, where bikes are unfairly supposed to be, and I nearly tipped over. I couldn’t take it anymore. I nearly had an asthma attack when the Prius started to charge its battery.” Going door to door, al-CousCous mobilized a grassroots following that marched onto Town Hall. Carborro Mayor Sandy Willows said the demonstration was impressive and thought provoking. “I’ve never seen a group of such determined citizens looking out for their community,” Willows said in a press conference Thursday evening. “It was a trip. I was down for this kind of believable change … It can help keep obesity down too. We had enough people to establish quorum, [so] we did a referendum by show of hands and the ‘Fixers’ won.” As Fixieboro embraces its new identity and independence from fossil fuels, Carrboro Police Chief Sean McAvoy said he speculates that his department will finally have to enforce traffic laws for cyclists too.

Weather Today Snowy: 32/30 Grab the J. Crew sweater with the tweed jacket

Tomorrow Mostly sunny: 43/27 Break out the leggings, again.

WHY CAN’T I JUST EAT MY WAFFLE? PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA


We’re back.


TECHNICIAN          

Nicky Vaught Deputy News Editor

About 100 students sat in the Nelson auditorium Thursday night listening to a speaker explain how to make an easy million dollars. Marshall Brain, founder of HowStuff Works, gave a lecture called “How to Make a Million Dollars” to the International Business Club at N.C. State. HowStuff Works is a website containing various articles aptly explaining how stuff works. Topics range from willpower to architecture to robotics. Brain started the company as a hobby and wrote articles for fun, he said. Once he had written about 20 articles for the site, popularity increased. After selling the website for $1 million last year, Brain came to the University to work with entrepreneurial students. “[Students] are being raised up in the best entrepreneurial climate ever possible,” Brain said. Brain talked about the different ways any person could start a business or make easy money. “If you have something, if you have ideas, you can be successful, any one of you,” Brain said.

IBC continued page 5

january

25 2013

Raleigh, North Carolina

technicianonline.com

IBC teaches students how to make millions

friday

Woodson’s salary: middle of the pack Jessie Halpern Senior Staff Writer

When the UNC System Board of Governors confirmed to give Chancellor Randy Woodson a $63,000 raise at its Jan. 11 meeting, some members of the N.C. State community expressed anger. But when it comes to salaries for heads of large universities, Woodson’s pay isn’t especially high. According to the News & Observer, the Board of Governors offered Woodson a one-time retention payment of $112,630 to be paid by March 31 by N.C. State University, as well as a retirement plan of about $50,000 per year, contingent on a contract to stay with the University through 2015 and on “the availability of non-state funds at NCSU.” Some students immediately began posting angry reactions on Facebook and elsewhere that the salary hike was uncalled for in the face of recent cuts in funding for education in North Carolina. Student Body President Andy Walsh said he doesn’t agree. “I can’t speak for all students, but I personally think it’s an adequate package,” Walsh said. “We retained a great leader, and I can’t imagine trying to fill his shoes, if it’s even possible.” Walsh said Woodson was highly sought after by other institutions, most notably the

BRETT MORRIS/TECHNICIAN

Though Chancellor Randy Woodson recently received a pay raise, increasing his salary to $495,000 a year, his standing is average compared to salaries of the chancellors and presidents of peer institutions.

University of Florida. “N.C. State is at a time of growth and reaching new potentials,” Walsh said. “It’s just not a good time for a leadership change. The University made it a priority to keep him.” Despite what he described as a friendly working relationship with Chancellor Woodson, Walsh said he could understand where the criticism came from. “A lot of people may just see numbers and percentages — and, yes, they are high,” Walsh said. “But I challenge those people to understand the number of resources it

would take to replace the chancellor … We’d be losing someone who lobbies for us, and who knows what other staff would leave if he was gone?” Justine Hollingshead, director of the GLBT Center, concurred. “Serving as the leader of a large institution can be a thankless job,” she said. So what is the “going rate” for chancellors and presidents of universities comparable to N.C. State? The University maintains a list of “peer institutions” based on size, student population and programs

Several study abroad programs suspended

offered. A look at the annual base salaries of some of those universities’ chancellors shows Woodson’s pay isn’t especially high in comparison. In fact, it’s significantly lower than that of several of his peers. “The Board of Governors would not have given him a retention offer if they didn’t feel he deserved it,” Walsh said. Walsh isn’t the only one who thinks so.

WOODSON continued page 5

insidetechnician

Researchers monitor mammal movement See page 8.

Wolfpack Women get first ACC win See page 10.

GREG WILSON/TECHNICIAN

Sophomore in microbiology Ravi Dixit and senior in international studies Adrienne Brooks discuss summer study abroad opportunities in Northern France Thursday afternoon. The Study Abroad Fair emphasized summer session programs offering classes for all majors from engineering to anthropology.

Sara Award Staff Writer

If you were thinking about studying abroad in Cuernavaca, Mexico or Honduras this summer, you will have to look elsewhere on the globe. According to Study Abroad associate director Kim Priebe, the University has temporarily suspended these programs due to travel warn-

ings issued by the U.S. Department of State. “Honduras has the highest murder rate in the world,” the warning stated. According to the Mexico travel warning, Transnational Criminal Organizations have created security risks for travelers due to illegal narcotics trafficking. Study Abroad also cancelled the Middle East Studies Program’s sum-

mer biannual trip to Egypt after the country experienced “ongoing instability,” Priebe said. The country did not undergo a travel warning, but Middle East studies director and professor of history Akram Khater said the recent demonstrations and rise in sexual harassment posed too much of a risk for student safety. Though the changes may be inconvenient, students who planned on studying abroad in any of the re-

AT THE BOOKSTORE TODAY + SATURDAY ALL NEXT WEEK 10am-3pm Harrelson Hall

cently suspended will have other options. According to Priebe, the College of Education and Foreign Languages and Literature department will send students to Costa Rica, while students studying Arabic will be going to Jordan instead of Egypt. Jordan was chosen as a viable

viewpoint features classifieds sports

6 7 9 10

Technician was there. You can be too. The Technician staff is always looking for new members to write, design or take photos. Visit www. ncsu.edu/sma for more information.

ABROAD continued page 4

AVAILABLE NOW!

WHILE SUPPLIES LAST


PAGE 4 • FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

CORRECTIONS & THROUGH RYAN’S LENS CLARIFICATIONS

News

In an article about the construction of the Stanhope Center apartment complex published Wednesday, Craig Smith, a Raleigh resident, was quoted saying the building would look like an institutional building if it was “five stories with 79 feet.” Smith actually said the building would look like an institutional building if it was “seven stories high with 79 feet.” Smith would also like to clarify that he was speaking specifically about the building on the corner site.

TECHNICIAN POLICE BLOTTER 2:15 PM | MOLEST FIRE EQUIPMENT Venture Place Officer responded to alarm caused by unknown person activating emergency pull station. 8:50 PM | FIRE ALARM 1911 Building Units responded to alarm from detector in elevator control room. RFD shut down power to elevator. Specialist were notified. System reset.

Send all clarifications and corrections to Editor-in-Chief Mark Herring at editor@ technicianonline.com

9:41 PM | DRUG VIOLATION Avent Ferry Complex Report of possible drug violation. Officer checked area but did not locate anyone matching description.

WEATHER WISE Today:

Getting pumped up PHOTO BY RYAN PARRY

S

enior guard Marissa Kastanek walks out as she’s introduced during the starting lineups against Virginia Tech Thursday. Kastanek and the Wolfpack went into the game with an 8-11 record and were hopefull to pick up their first ACC win of the season. Introductions are made under the spotlight for women’s basketball and feature a pep video before hand.

33/21 PM Snow

Tomorrow:

ABROAD

43 21

continued from page 3

Mostly Sunny

Sunday

42 29 Mostly Sunny SOURCE: WWW.WEATHER.COM

alternative to the Egypt trip because it presented the most ideal learning environment both socially and politically, Khater said. “[In Jordan] the way people seem to be demanding change appears to be channeled not through civil disobedience or demonstrations, but primarily through the press and legal parliamentary election process,” Khater said.

Culturally, the Jordanian dialect was also closest to the dialect that students were learning in their Arabic classes, Khater said. If both the Costa Rica and Jordan programs go as planned, these alternative programs might become permanent study abroad programs, Priebe and Khater said. “We are always considering new programs to do what we can to mitigate the security risks,” Priebe said. These are not the only study abroad programs available to

students. The study abroad TIPS FOR DEALING fair Thursday in the Talley WITH CRISIS WHILE Student Center ballroom feaABROAD tured about 60 summer and • Call the University 24semester-long programs for hour emergency hotlinel students to explore, Priebe • Seek assitance from the nearest U.S. consulate said. • Register with the State At the fair professors and Department study abroad veterans an• Beware of what is going on around you swered questions students • Seek the nearest medical had about the various profacilities grams. The Study Abroad • Office also set up tables with SOURCE: KIM PRIEBE information regarding the financial process, scholarship opportunities and the process students must go year and last year and through to receive a Global studied abroad in Valencia, Perspectives Certificate. Spain. Several colleges within “It’s fun because I get the the University partnered chance to tell people about with the Study Abroad my experience,” Wilberding Office in order to help said. “I get to give back to students make sure their the program I went to and travel plans did not dis- make sure people continue rupt their going.” degree Priebe plans. said she Junior would in anadvise thropolostudents gy Sidney interGuerin ested in was one studying of the abroad visitors to plan to the early Kim Priebe, Study Abroad fair and and start associate director found it having to be useconverful. sations with their advisors “Everyone has been very now. helpful and I had a lot of “We don’t want students fun. I’ve even been visiting to say they want to go to [the tables of] countries Australia and not know that I hadn’t had much what they are doing there,” interest in,” Guerin said. Priebe said. “Students need Grace Wilberding, a to participate in a program senior in Spanish, helped that enriches both their acawork the fair both this demic and personal goals.”

“Students need to participate in a program that enriches both their academic and personal goals.”

College gameday T h i s s aT u r d ay 9 a.m. - 12 p.m. (PNC AreNA)

Event is FREE, general admission, & OPEN to the public

NO STUDENTS WILL BE ALLOWED TO LINE UP FOR THE 7pm UNC-CHAPEL HILL GAME DURING COLLEGE GAMEDAY OR IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING COLLEGE GAMEDAY. www.GoPack.com/students A schedule of events and more information is provided below.

Enter via the PNC Arena East Entrance starting at 8:30am, free doughnut to the first 2,000 fans. More Information: www.GoPack.com/espngameday

TenTaTive Timeline: 7 A.M. - 250 tICkEts wIll bE dIstRIbutEd tO studENts FOR FlOOR ACCEss bEhINd thE GAMEdAy sEt. (thEsE tICkEts ARE NOt vAlId FOR thE 7PM GAME) 8:15 A.M. - REd tERROR tRANsIt sERvICE wIll bE AvAIlAblE FROM CAMPus tO PNC ARENA, wIth REtuRN tRIPs sChEdulEd FOR NOON. 9 A.M. - 10 A.M. - lIvE sPORtsCENtER lOOk-INs, ON-COuRt CONtEsts, t-shIRt GIvEAwAys, & CElEbRIty APPEARANCEs 10 A.M. -12 P.M. - EsPN COllEGE GAMEdAy, lIvE FROM PNC ARENA

Coming To The big game SaTurday nighT aS well? Check out backyard bistro’s student lunch special bbQ plate with tater tots for $5 for students with their NC state Id. Refer to www.GoPack.com/students for student policies regarding gate entry times at PNC Arena 5:30 p.m. - PNC Arena Gates Open 7 p.m. - NC state vs. uNC-Chapel hill GoPack.com | 919.865.1510

Sunday 12:51 PM | PROPERTY DAMAGE Tucker Lot Student reported unknown persons jumped on roof of vehicle causing damage. 3:24 PM | ASSIST OTHER AGENCY Off Campus RPD requested assistance with student being charged with larceny, damage to property, and possession of stolen property. Student was referred to the university for theft, damage to property, and consuming alcohol while under 21. 8:36 PM | MEDICAL ASSIST ALCOHOL Hillsborough Street Units reponded to intoxicated non-student found sleeping. Subject was not in any need of medical attention and had existing trespass warning. Subject was reminded of warning and allowed to leave the area. Tuesday 6:54 PM | SUSPICIOUS PERSON Bostian Hall Officers located non-student sleeping in lobby. Subject was trespassed from NCSU property. 11:03 AM | POLICY VIOLATION Hillsborough Street Student was referred to the university for itentionally dmaging another student’s vehicle Wednesday 6:34 PM | FIRE & GAS LEAK ALARM Monteith ERC Units responded to alarm caused by electrical equipment failure. System reset. 3:00 PM | LARENCY Fox Science Labs Employee reported periodic charts stolen. 11:08 PM | ODOR COMPLAINT Dan Allen Drive Report of Natural gas odor. FP responded and determined odor was caused by expulsion of gas from steam plant as part of normal operation.


News

TECHNICIAN

PAGE 5 • FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

KELSEY BEAL/TECHNICIAN

CEO of Blue Cross Blue Shield Brad Wilson spoke at EB 1 on Thursday, 24 Jan 13 on technology in Healthcare, or rather the lack thereof, “What’s the first thing you see when you walk into a doctor’s office? Paper: folders, colored files.”

Insurance CEO talks technology PHOTO ILLISTRATION BY NATALIE CLAUNCH

Bio-waste goes unwasted Jacob Fulk Correspondent

Flyers posted around Wood Hall urge students to help keep the Rocky Branch Creek clean by being cautious about what materials they f lush down the toilet. After reading the flyer, Zack Ellerby, a sophomore in aerospace engineering, said there was something about the thought of students’ waste ending up in a creek that distressed him. “Yeah, I worried about it,” Ellerby said. “I even lost sleep thinking about it.” The flyers, though straightforward in meaning and instruction, prompted Ellerby and other students to ask: “After I flush, what happens to my poop?” Considering that you have no control over the fate of your discarded biological waste or insight into the impact your stool may have on the environment, you might reasonably develop a sort of post-flush anxiety. “I wonder what happens to it, but I don’t worry about it. I trust that it is going to

IBC

continued from page 1

Brain emphasized the importance and accessibility of the Internet. According to him, using online resources, anyone can publish a book, learn to make apps for smartphones or create websites, all of which can generate profit, skills and credibility. Brain said his first entrepreneurial success came after a set of notes he wrote to

WOODSON continued from page 1

“I’ve seen four [other] chancellors since I’ve been here,” Hollingshead said. ”None of them compare to what he has accomplished and can ultimately do for N.C. State.” Both Walsh and Hollings-

the right place,” junior in wastewater all the way to the psychology Campbell Dean treatment plant. said concerning the fate of At the plant wastewater his feces. undergoes a three-step treatThe right place Dean men- ment process. This process, tioned is the Neuse River combined with a biological Wastewater Treatment Plant nutrient removal process, located in Raleigh at 8500 allows for purified sewage to Battlebridge Road, to which be separated into two reusN.C. State sewage finds its able categories; biosolids and penultimate home. recycled water. Tim Woody, division direc“Biosolids are a valuable retor of Wastewater and Re- source to add nutrients back use, said the into soil and Neuse River adju st t he Wastewater pH of agTreatment ricultural Pl a nt s erlands, and vices about more t han 45 million 95 percent of ga l lon s of the biosolids water a day. we produce Though the are sent east Zack Ellerby, sophomore in permitted of Raleigh to aerospace engineering capacity for be used on the plant is agricultural currently limited at 60 mil- lands,” Woody said. lion gallons, the City of RaRecycled water, or reuse leigh expects to expand its water as it is often called, is permit to 75 million in the an efficient means of limiting near future, Woody said. the drinking water we use for Under normal circum- industrial purposes. Recycled stances on campus, solid water, which is non-potable, and liquid waste are flushed is used for irrigation in parks, through N.C. State sewer golf courses and cemeteries pipes and emptied into a city-wide. This water is even sewer system that carries the used to keep the grass green

on the Lonnie Poole Golf Course, which is located on N.C. State’s Centennial Campus. Any person interested in reclaiming recycled wastewater can contact the Raleigh Public Utilities Department and make an appointment to pick up the reuse water in bulk. But only under proper disposal protocol does your waste end up the benefactor of fairways, greens and cemeter y plots. There are limits to the things you can flush. While grease and oil are the most common causes of constipated sewer systems, food scraps, paper towels and tampons can be just as destructive to the natural flow of sewage through the city’s bowels. Students can avoid any awkward reencounters with their biological byproducts at the Rocky Branch Creek or elsewhere by adhering to this general rule: If it didn’t come out of you and you didn’t wipe with it, don’t flush it.

help students gained popularity and landed him a book contract. Many people will not take advantage of the entrepreneurial opportunities afforded them, Brain said. “Here is the fact: 99.95 percent of you won’t do anything with [this information],” Brain said. “You’ll never get started. There just aren’t that many people who are trying, so your chance of success is actually high.” Entrepreneurship is not about elaborate ideas, ac-

cording to Brain. Many companies like Netflix, Walmart and Sout hwest A irlines started as simple ways for their respective founders to make money. “It’s just a matter of getting started,” Brain said. Brain was the first guest speaker of the year for the International Business Club, which hosts one guest speaker a month, according to club president Zach Milburn. To thank Brain for speaking, the club presented him with a piece of IBC memo-

rabilia made by a 3-D printer. While Brain’s lecture didn’t directly relate to international business, Milburn said it was important for the foreign students to hear Brain’s perspective. “In a lot of other countries, it’s inappropriate to talk about money, so they don’t hear a lot about this kind of thing,” Milburn said.

head said Woodson more than fulfills his requirements as chancellor. “During the hate incident last year, the Chancellor emailed me every day just to see if I was okay - he didn’t have to do that,” Hollingshead said. Walsh said as student body president, he gets a view of the chancellor not many students can share. “He’s in the office at 7:30

every morning and leaves late, sometimes to go downtown and advertise for the university,” Walsh said. “He goes above and beyond to build the name of the University, which ultimately raises the degree value for students.” Even though Woodson is at the top of N.C. State’s organizational chart, he’s not its highest-paid employee. For instance, coaches Mark

Gottfried and Dave Doeren both have annual base salaries of $750,000. “The university is a business and people need to remember that,” Hollingshead said. “Chancellor Woodson is just the person to lead us into the future as a successful business, that of education.”

“Yeah, I worried about it. I even lost sleep thinking about it.”

Josué Molina Staff Writer

The President and CEO of Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina spoke to N.C. State students Thursday night about problems the nation’s healthcare system is facing. Brad Wilson, president and CEO of BCBSNC, joined a growing list of guest lecturers who have participated in the Fidelity Investments “Leadership in Technology” Executive Speaker Series, a program created by the N.C. State Department of Computer Science. In his speech, Wilson addressed some of the challenges and changes that are confronting the healthcare industry today. Wilson also talked about how providers and leaders in the industry are turning their attention toward technology and data to help create a better health care system. Wilson pointed to a lack of consistency in record keeping and impractical technology as the main problems plaguing the medical industry, and he said innovation and new technology will be integral in mitigating these grievances. Wilson described most modern healthcare offices’ filing systems as nothing more than “a bunch of colored folders,” a fact Wilson said needs to change. According to Wilson, every hospital and healthcare service has its own system for keeping patients’ records, which may contribute to why people seeking healthcare services have to fill out

several forms. If a universal system is implemented it can help eliminate unnecessary procedures and reduce costs, Wilson said. Wilson also accused inefficient technology of being an impractical cost driver in the healthcare industry. Such technology is often unnecessary, raises the cost of healthcare and is not covered by most health insurers because they do not deem procedures associated with it to be effective. Wilson said not all advances in technology are created in the best interest of the patients. As CEO for North Carolina’s largest health insurer, Wilson mentioned how Blue Cross and Blue Shield screens newer technologies to determine if they are more effective than the preexisting methods of treating patients. “Just because someone comes out with something new does not necessarily mean it is in the best interest of the patient,” Wilson said. “It may not be any safer; it is not any more effective. It is just newer.” Thomas Johnson, a senior in computer science, attended the program and said the event helped him create a bridge between computer science and the healthcare field. Wilson’s speech was the first of the Fidelity Investments “Leadership in Technology” Executive Speaker Series held in the spring semester and there will be two more before the semester ends. Dates and locations can be found online at www. csc.ncsu.edu.

Official Sponsor of DPAC

On Sale Today . at 10 a.m

• APR •

10

WED

You’ve Got To Be There.


Viewpoint

PAGE 6 •FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

TECHNICIAN

Why we run ‘Daily Tar Hell’

S

ince the 1980s, Technician editors have conspired to make fun of UNC-Chapel Hill and the town of Chapel Hill in the annual edition of the Daily Tar Hell, a satirical riff on the Daily Tar Heel, t he student-run Mark newspaper at UNC. Herring Some years, the Editor-in-Chief Tech guys pulled it off; others, it all fell through. The Tar Hell embodied the rivalry between the two schools, and though some of the snootier types may say that UNC-CH and N.C. State are not rivals, the storied history between the two universities goes back

long before Chapel Hill and Duke’s. My intentions of renewing the Tar Hell are not to be petty, but to revive the spirit that fuels rivalries. Along with the rest of the staff at Technician, I respect UNC-CH as an institution and our brothers and sisters in Chapel Hill. However, the occasion calls for a little bit of competition, silly antagonism and some good ol’ fooling around. Through the Tar Hell, I hope to poke fun at the idiosyncrasies of college life — not to victimize anyone or provoke outrage. Before the N.C. State vs. UNCCH football game last fall, Techni-

cian ran a guest column from UNC professor Stephen Leonard about

“The provocative photos in today’s edition are not to incite detestation...” athletic tribalism. He quoted late UNC System President Bill Friday, who said university leaders “don’t want their lifetimes to be measured

by how much their [team] won or lost.” In effect, this extends to the academic integrity of universities, and our rivalry, and consequently the satire within the Tar Hell, boils down to sports, not academics. UNC-CH has been invaluable to North Carolina, and we at N.C. State value it as a peer institution and a healthy rival. The provocative photos in today’s edition are not to incite detestation or to defame UNC, though some of you may be thinking that. In 1983, when our rivalry was at it’s highest, the Daily Tar Hell ran a photo of a semi-nude man, most likely a Tech-

nician editor, with Dean Smith’s “photoshopped” face. This silly tradition was continued for a decade. This year, we hope to reinstate that rivalry by bringing back that sort of ballsy cheekiness, literally. Technician invites UNC students and the Daily Tar Heel to come up with a satirical way of getting back at us N.C. State. If you don’t enjoy the Tar Hell, I hope you at least don’t misinterpret the joke. And if you don’t get a kick out of the spoof, then you can drop me a line and send me a letter at editor@technicianonline.com.

Violence, video games and ‘The Walking Dead’ I’m a longtime fan of The Walking Dead franchise, having read the comic since the beginning and enjoying the television show based on it. For whatever reason though, t he g a me version, an adventure ga me reJordan leased in Alasqa five episodes Associate throughout Features Editor 2012, was never high on my list of priorities. However, with the complete game now available at Redbox, the long weekend gave me a chance to finally sit down and see if the project was really something worth getting excited over. Of course, this isn’t a review, so I can get my opinion on the game out of the way early. Simply put, The Walking Dead: The Game is every bit the creative masterpiece game journalists have labeled it to be, but that’s not really what I’m writing about it for. Video games as a medium have yet to really receive much in the way of mainstream acceptance. Sure, there are millions of people with video game consoles, but unlike any other entertainment media, games have a tendency to become a scapegoat in a crisis. Recently, there have been an unfortunate number of school shootings across the country. As a result, the video game industry has come under fire once again, with claims that violent video games warp young minds because of the direct interaction they take part in.

Whether or not this is true is a matter of constant debate, something I have no intention of looking at in depth. What I do want to address is the effect these sorts of arguments have. For many people, an outcry against violent video games is an outcry against gaming in general with no real appreciation of what those games are really trying to say to the players. Now more than ever, developers are making games that directly address the idea of violence and what it can ultimately do. They are portraying it in a way that makes the idea of simulating the acts seen on screen seem disgusting and vile. That’s where T he Walking Dead comes in. Over the course of its five-episode narrative, players are tasked with protecting a young girl named Clementine from the harshness of a post-apocalyptic world. They’re faced with violence and cruelty at every turn, and sometimes the player is made to choose between two horrible acts. However, this behavior is never presented in a glamorized way. It’s meant to make the player think about what they would do in a situation, how they would really react. There’s a main character in The Walking Dead, but he simply acts as a proxy for the real player. Horrible things happen, and The Walking Dead is able to make the player feel

the full weight and consequences of those choices. There’s no maniacal glee to be had in chopping off a character’s leg or choosing who lives and dies, only a growing sense of discomfort. In short, The Walking Dead doesn’t desensitize players to violence, it makes it hit close to home. More than any game I’ve played before, it brought out a physical and emotional reaction in me by the time the credits rolled. For many, The Walking Dead is just another game that shows how sick and twisted M-rated video games c a n be. In truth, though, it’s proof that video games are evolving as a medium, changing into a genuine synthesis of art and storytelling. There will always be violence for the sake of violence in video games, but the same is true for movies, television and comics. Hopefully, the praise and word-of-mouth surrounding The Walking Dead and games like it will help show a national audience that just like any other medium, violence in video games is a more complex issue than what it’s made out to be.

“Autemquiamus re num corestrum quati odit autaepel et evelibus ipsant ut ium”

Technician was there. You can be too. The Technician staff is always looking for new members to write, design or take photos. Visit www.ncsu.edu/sma for more information.

323 Witherspoon Student Center, NCSU Campus Box 7318, Raleigh, NC 27695 Editorial Advertising Fax Online

515.2411 515.2029 515.5133 technicianonline.com

Davis Leonard, junior in science education

{

CAMPUS FORUM

}

Response to Joesph Havey’s column on “Sexy: It’s far less than equalizing”

We’d first like to thank staff columnist Joseph Havey for his editorial (Viewpoint 1/23/13) for provoking a lively debate among the many students, staff and faculty engaged with the N.C. State Women’s Center. The discussion was especially relevant thanks to the ironic placement of the 1993 nearnude Eric Montross basketball photo which appeared just above an article critiquing a Hollywood actress for a sultry headshot. The Women’s Center is part of the Office for Institutional Equity and Diversity who, with UAB, organized the Diversity Education Week in which America Ferrera headlined. As Director of the Women’s Center, I’d like to provide another perspective. Beyond the poor choice of metaphor conflating America Ferrera with gender equality in Saudi Arabia, I disagree that a headshot showing collarbone and a little cleavage necessarily negates what is said. Does Havey speak for everyone when he suggests that (assumedly heterosexual) men are biologically incapable of reading text adjacent to a picture of a socially-determined beautiful woman? Yes, the picture brought in your attention in a way that donning a conservative business suit did not. Sex still sells and this is especially true in Hollywood. I’m sorry that Havey missed America Ferrera’s event in October 2012. I had the opportunity to hear America’s talk and for better or worse, Hollywood gives stars a bully pulpit that America Ferrera chose to use to support righteous causes. I can respect a woman from humble beginnings who works hard, makes it big and gives back to others in the form of raising awareness. I don’t think that having great genetics and a really good makeup artist

suggests that “[looking sexy] while discussing gender equality is equivalent to a man performing a strip tease,” as Havey suggests. Ms. Ferrera was dressing her part and we took her seriously as an actress engaged in social issues. I beg of NCSU students to employ critical thinking. Can a person be sexy and smart at the same time? Must women be either beauty or brains?   Unfortunately, equality is not just a hemline away. Credit is due to Mr. Havey for noting the extra burdens that women often carry relative to what we wear. One quick look at the mega-coverage of the Alabama quarterback’s girlfriend Katherine Webb or Hillary Clinton’s “post-op look,” or what Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden were wearing to the inaugural ball support his point. If we endeavor to judge the content of character, then we need to look women in the eye and listen to their intellect. America was riveting … and not because of the length of her skirt.   In my opinion, men and women need to come together and address the patriarchal inequality that hurts everyone. I applaud Havey’s call to take him seriously as a male interested in gender issues.  More men need to critically engage in discussions about gender. N.C. State has a Women’s Center that facilitates just these kinds of dialogues and we welcome everyone to participate in our programs, events, research opportunities or use our services. The Women’s Center web page can be found at oied.ncsu.edu/womenscenter. Of specific relevance is our hiring of a Men and Masculinity Coordinator who will be a catalyst and resource for the campus community on gender issues from a men/ masculinity perspective. The Women’s Center and Women’s and Gender Studies will also be offering a 3-credit hour course Introduction to Men and Masculinity in the Fall 2013. Likely, this topic will be revisited. We welcome you to join us. Dr. Ashley Simons-Rudolph Director, N.C. State Women’s Center

Editor-in-Chief Mark Herring

News Editor Sam DeGrave

Sports Editor Jeniece Jamison

Viewpoint Editor Ahmed Amer

Multimedia Editor Taylor Cashdan

editor@technicianonline.com

news@technicianonline.com

sports@technicianonline.com

viewpoint@technicianonline.com

webmaster@technicianonline.com

Managing Editor Trey Ferguson

Associate Features Editor Jordan Alsaqa

Associate Features Editor Young Lee

Design Editor

managingeditor@technician online.com

features@technicianonline.com

features@technicianonline.com

design@technicianonline.com

Advertising Manager Olivia Pope

Photo Editor Natalie Claunch

advertising@sma.ncsu.edu

photo@technicianonline.com

{

IN YOUR FACE

BY CAIDE WOOTEN

}

What is your reaction upon seeing a UNC fan?

April Gibbs freshman, business administration

Allison Nealley freshman, first year college

Chris Abba freshman, first year college

Richard Xiong freshman, first year college

Technician (USPS 455-050) is the official student newspaper of N.C. State University and is published every Monday through Friday throughout the academic year from August through May except during holidays and examination periods. Opinions expressed in the columns, cartoons, photo illustrations and letters that appear on Technician’s pages are the views of the individual writers and cartoonists. As a public forum for student expression, the students determine the content of the publication without prior review. To receive permission for reproduction, please write the editor. Subscription cost is $100 per year. A single copy is free to all students, faculty, staff and visitors to campus. Additional copies are $0.25 each. Printed by The News & Observer, Raleigh, N.C., Copyright 2011 by North Carolina State Student Media. All rights reserved.


Features

TECHNICIAN

PAGE 7 • FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

Fighting crime with fiber research Joseph Cabaniss Staff Writer

Researchers from N.C. State have created a new chemical process that will help forensic analysts identify and match the dyes used on small fiber samples. Using this process, investigators can conclusively prove, with relative ease, if two fibers share particular dyes or impurities. In a criminal court, fibers will be able to be matched and used as trace evidence. Trace evidence is anything involved in a crime that can be transferred between the people, the objects or the environment, such as hair or dirt. For example, if the victim and suspect are both found with similar fibers on their bodies, investigators will be able to tell if the fibers are from the same source. “Fibers are found at many crime scenes and are part of major investigations,” David Hinks, a professor of textile chemistry and director of the research, said. The research

was a joint effort between the chemistry, polymers and color chemistry, and mechanical engineering departments. Hinks said that through forensic fiber analysis investigators will be able to not only compare fiber colors, but will have the capability to judge the overall fiber likeness through investigating the dyes that were applied. Hinks’ work will therefore be especially important to the United States’ Department of Justice. Federal and state investigators always need better technology to get an edge over criminals. The process that the research team has created will allow investigators to discover more instances of circumstantial evidence, or evidence that has value in court when paired with other known facts. Tests that can be used for circumstantia l ev idence are difficult to come by­ — not only do they have to be proved to work conclusively and consistently, but they also have to work within the price range convenient for federal

and state investigators. Hinks is now working on creating a database of dyes so that tested dyes can be given a rating of certainty. It is possible that the database of dyes Hinks has worked on may be taken over by a partner company, but until then, N.C. State will be owner and provider of the database. “We are currently looking at dyes for polyester and nylon, which are relatively abundant, and we are starting to look at dyes for cotton,” Hinks said. Another concern being studied is the way in which dyes degrade over time and how this affects the current chemical process. Thomas A. Dow, a professor in mechanical engineering, is also involved with furthering the project. He is working on creating a small machine that will allow investigators to use this process to perform chemical analysis of fibers in the field. This microfluidic device would be mobile and automatic, and therefore require no previous training.

JOHN HUNTING/TECHNICIAN

Zhou works with the mass spectrometer in her lab on Jan. 18. She helped develop the method to use this machine to better analyze any dye samples. This technique will help in many concentrations, including criminology and forensics.

Weeding out hormone disruptors from common goods RESEARCH TRAP HARMFUL CHEMICALS IN THEIR EARLY STAGES Nasir Khatri Staff Writer

They have been blamed for everything from the softened egg shells of birds to the obesity epidemic in the United States. They caused tens of thousands of infants in the 1950s to be born with underdeveloped limbs. Endocrine disrupting compounds are a class of chemicals that often serve as cheap additives in many everyday products such as plastics. However, they also mimic natural hormones found in human and animal bodies, disrupting the hormone-regulating endocrine system. Current guidelines by the Food and Drug Administration and the Environmental Protection Agency do not subject new chemicals to testing in order to determine whether or not they have endocrine disrupting properties. In order to combat the growing threat of EDCs to the public and the environment, Heather Patisaul, an assistant professor of biology at N.C. State, along with twenty other biologists and chemists around the country, has developed TiPED, a Tiered Protocol for Endocrine Disruption. “TiPED is a design tool for chemists that helps guide the synthesis of safer chemicals. It does this by helping scientists identify and avoid chemicals likely to disrupt the endocrine system,” Patisaul said. Also, as a tiered protocol system, every subsequent level of testing is more and more sensitive, allowing scientists to test their chemical at

JOHN HUNTING/TECHNICIAN

Heather Patisaul, an assistant professor of biology, has been working with harmful chemicals like BPA and is trying to create a system to catch them before they end up in the final product of manufactured goods.

any or all of these levels with increasing precision. “The protocol consists of five testing tiers, which range from computer modeling up to cell, tissue and whole animal based tests,” Patisaul said. “I think this is a great achievement from a public health standpoint,” Filza Khan, a junior in biological sciences, said. “We have gotten caught up in a system where all newly synthesized chemicals are innocent until proven guilty. Unfortunately, the problem with this is that too many chemicals we encounter

on a daily basis are guilty and we are the ones suffering because of it.” It’s important to note that TiPED is not associated with either the FDA or EPA, and the testing of chemicals by corporations will be completely voluntary. However, the American public did have a remarkably swift response to BPA, or Bisphenol A, an endocrine disruptor found in the plastic of some water bottles. Therefore, Patisaul is not worried that corporations will shy away from possibly incriminating their own chemicals. “It’s a buyer’s market and the

consumer ultimately decides what makes it onto the shelves. As we saw with BPA recently, as soon as news organizations started reporting on the dangers of the chemical, sales o f B PA free water bottles skyrocketed,” Patisaul s a id . “I n t he s a me We are looking for individuals 18 to 70 years way, we are of age who have mild to moderate asthma confident to participate in a research study of a study that TiPED medication. approved

t! igh ton Gamers summon for a cure PMC Lecture: Dr. Donna Kwon

Will Shirley Correspondent

Recently the popular online multiplayer game League of Legends has exploded onto the charity scene. League of Legends has acquired a huge fan base, with numbers of concurrent viewers peaking at about one million. It has become home to many unique players, also known as summoners, each with various interests and worries. Pennsylvanian League of Legends player Jason “Tre-

ble557” Carpenito, 27, is one such summoner whose troubles impact him on a day-today basis. Carpenito suffers from the condition known as cystic fibrosis, a terminal disease that causes a buildup of sticky mucous in the lungs, which causes issues such as malnourishment, severe vitamin deficiencies and eventually degradation of the lungs. Carpenito, however, doesn’t let it get in the way of doing what he enjoys. In order to help raise money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, which works to develop new

medications for the disease, he is hosting a stream, or a real-time video feed, of him playing League of Legends. Any support that he receives means another contribution towards the ultimate goal of curing, or at least alleviating, the suffering caused by cystic fibrosis. The event started Monday and will continue until Sunday. Viewers can tune in by going to Carpenito’s channel at www.twitch.tv/treble557.

Friday, January 25 at 7pm Kennedy-McIlwee Studio Theatre

Ethnomusicologist Donna Lee Kwon of the University of Kentucky will deliver a lecture titled From Parody to Humanity: Re-Considering the DPRK in the American Imagination. North Korean figures have been especially visible as targets of parody in American media. This talk will interrogate how parodic acts function in the American imagination to shape American views of North Koreans. $5 NCSU students

919-515-1100 ncsu.edu/arts

materials will become demanded by the public.” “As soon as I heard that BPA-laced water bottles could cause cancer and many other diseases, I immediately stopped using them,” Asem Rahman, a graduate student in physiology and poultry science, said. “It would be amazing if there was a system set up to protect the public and inform us about the potential dangers of the chemicals we use.” However, commercial organizations that depend on EDCs as additives in their products continually defend them with their own industry sponsored scientific studies that combat the notion that these compounds are present in sufficient quantity so as to produce an effect in humans. “TiPED can help put a stop to these arguments between corporations and public health agencies once and for all,” Patisaul said. For more information about TiPED, visit their website at www. tipedinfo.com.

Do You Have Asthma?

AS A QUALIFIED VOLUNTEER, YOU WILL RECEIVE AT NO CHARGE STUDY-RELATED: • Study medication • Breathing tests • Lab tests and ECGs • Physical exams • Compensation for your time and travel For more information call North Carolina Clinical Research at (919) 881-0309 Monday through Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. After hours please leave a message.

North Carolina Clinical Research – “Where North Carolina Clinical Research – patient care andcare theand future of medicine “Where patient the future of medicine come together” – Dr. Craig LaForce and Dr. come together.” – Dr. Dunn, Craig LaForce Dr. Karen Board Karen Boardand Certified in Dunn, Allergy and Certified in Allergy and Immunology Immunology.


Sports

TECHNICIAN

DE THAEY continued from page 10

In my mind, the answer became clear. De Thaey quit the team earlier this season to return to Belgium, reportedly to be close to his ailing father and pursue a career in professional basketball. The same Thomas de Thaey who only played 27 minutes this season in the Wolfpack’s first five games. The same Thomas de Thaey who saw action in just 19 games as a freshman, averaging 5.6 minutes per game. Now, admittedly, it is highly speculative, but it is peculiar that he would leave State at the drop of a dime and, when the chance came, publicly criticize Gottfried. If I had to guess, there was probably something going on behind the scenes between the two prior to his departure, which many had inferred from his Twitter account in the days before announcing he would leave. Given that bit of specula-

tion, it would seem De Thaey is merely taking an opportunity to blast a head coach who wouldn’t give him the playing time he thought he deserved. He wants Gottfried and the rest of the world to believe that the Pack’s problems are centralized on the fact that he is no longer on the bench because coach wouldn’t put him in the game. I could be wrong, but it makes sense when you look at the remaining circumstances. Warren leads the ACC in field goal percentage by a substantial margin (64.6 percent, teammate senior forward is second at 58.6 percent), averages 12.2 points per game and is second on the team in points per 40 minutes. Add it iona l ly, Wa r ren played 25 minutes against Clemson and Wake Forest and averaged 17.5 points over the two games. If my conjecture is correct, Warren simply acted rashly by retweeting De Thaey for the same reason the tweet was created — Warren wants more playing time. Only this time, Warren probably deserves it, based on his per-

POLICY

The Technician will not be held responsible for damages or losses due to fraudulent advertisements. However, we make every effort to prevent false or misleading advertising from appearing in our publication.

DEADLINES

Our business hours are Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Line ads must be placed by noon the previous day.

formance this season. It should be noted, however, that Warren later retracted the tweet and stated that the retweet was not a “jab at my head coach.” The same can be said for Lewis’ father. Lewis has seen action in 18 games, averaging 9.8 points per contest. He has stellar vision and immense potential, but has had a difficult time adjusting to ACC players that are, to put it simply, bigger than he is. Of course, what father doesn’t want to see his son get more playing time? It appears to me De Thaey is just a sour apple looking to get a little piece of revenge on his old coach. Warren and Lewis’ father acted rashly, but so do a lot of frustrated individuals. I am no exception to the rule. At the end of the day, this story will subside and cooler heads will prevail. I’m willing to bet that by the end of the season, this story will all be forgotten. And so will Thomas de Thaey.

LADY PACK continued from page 10

in the first seven minutes of the game. The Hokies managed to reduce that deficit to 12 points at halftime and to as few as nine within the first half. Once the second half began, the Pack never led by less than 10 points and was winning by a 20-point margin with 35 seconds remaining in the game. The Lady Pack held the Hokies’ starters to only one point in the first half.

UNC

continued from page 10

ond win in the semifinals of the ACC Tournament. They lead the overall series with State 147-75. The Wolfpack’s last win in the series came in 2007, when they upset then-No. 3 UNC 83-79 in Raleigh. It was former coach Sidney

Classifieds

PAGE 9 • FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

Virginia Tech’s top scorer, State. Goodwin-Coleman, junior guard Monet Tellier, Kastanek and Eli each made banked 13 points off of the two of those. bench. The Hokies finished The Lady Pack will travel the game to Georgia with only 15 Tech to take points from on the Lady their startYellow Jackers. ets on Jan. Marissa Kastanek, Virginia 27. St ate senior guard Te c h s hot will return 26.4 percent to Rey nfrom the f loor, the lowest olds Coliseum for “Pack the the Lady Pack has held an House” on Feb. 3 when Wake opponent this season. State Forest comes to Raleigh. completed 36.4 percent of its “The drought is over,” Kasshots, including seven made tanek said. three-point shots out of 12, the highest percentage beyond the arc this season for

“The drought is over.”

Lowe’s first and only win against the Tar Heels. Gottfried insists that prior meetings will not play a part in Saturday’s game plan. “I’ve watched them play this year,” Gottfried said on his show. “They’re a different team, and I’m not going to base it off of previous games.” Additionally, Gottfried isn’t letting the magnitude of the game get into his head. He is

approaching it just like any other ACC game, despite the extensive TV coverage and monumental amount of anticipation on the N.C. State campus. “They’re all big,” Gottfried said towards the end of his show. “You always find the things that will motivate your guys. Our guys will be excited about it.”

RATES

For students, line ads start at $5 for up to 25 words. For non-students, line ads start at $8 for up to 25 words. For detailed rate information, visit ­technicianonline.com/classifieds. All line ads must be prepaid.

To place a classified ad, call 919.515.2411, fax 919.515.5133 or visit technicianonline.com/classifieds

EmploymEnt

EmploymEnt

EmploymEnt

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

EmploymEnt

Real estate

ServiceS BAHAMAS SPRING BREAK $189 for 5

Want flexible, part-time work you enjoy?

Front counter sales and service

C Sharp Programmer with knowledge of

VERVE ENERGY DRINK BUSINESS

Walk to Campus!

Days. All prices include: Round-trip luxury

Respond only to jobs you want. Moving,

Part time help needed. Front counter

Electronic Hardware Needed

Verve is internet based and is smart-

Beautiful, completely remodeled 3

party cruise. Accommodations on the

yardwork, cleaning, handyman, tech-

sales and service. Cary Mower and Saw.

An innovative person with knowledge

phone driven with free membership

bedroom townhouse on the Wolfline.

island at your choice of thirteen resorts.

help, etc. If you are conscientious and

Flexible hours and pay. Minutes from

of C Sharp programming and electronic

and a free personal website. If you host

All New: paint, flooring, stainless steel

Appalachia Travel. www.BahamaSun.com

motivated, contact us. $10+/hr.

campus. 919-467-7761

hardware and optical detector is needed

a brief Verve event you receive $1645

appliances, and granite counter tops.

800-867-5018

JoinSweeps.com

Email sawc@bellsouth.net

to complete an ongoing project. The

for the first 6 friends that get Verve auto

Call/Text 919.274.5532 to lease! Available

work is a part time project. The work

shipped to their locale in a 2 week period.

immediately $1400.

Resident Assistant

Horse barn needs experienced person to

is at Centennial Campus of NC State

Very lucrative among students,military

University Towers is now hiring RAs

feed horses, clean stalls, misc. Huntseat

University in Raleigh NC and is available

and truckers. Call 919-801-5025 for free

for Fall 2013. Prospective RAs must be

riding opportunities if qualified. Flexible

ONLY to professionals located in this

event and sample info.

NCSU students in good standing with

hours, days, weekends. NE Raleigh. $8/hr.

area. Please send a resume and the

a minimum gpa of 2.75. Information

919-632-7700Email sawc@bellsouth.net

names and contact information of three

sessions will be held on the 9th floor

Real estate

professional and personal references. If

Homes For rent

PARK AT THE COLLEGE INN! $35 a month 2717 Western Blvd.

BOOKS: Susannah simply wanted to

Special Offer: 1 week free!

marry a tall, dark, handsome, strong, rich

919-832-8383

man and live in a country estate. What

Email collegeinn.leasing@tpco.com

could go wrong? Just about everything,

at 9:00pm on Wednesday, 1/16/2013

Courier Needed

you graduated in the last three years,

and Tuesday, 1/22/2013. Please

The law firm of Howard Stallings From &

please send a copy of your transcript.

contact Stephen Cosolito by email

Hutson is hiring for (2)courier positions.

ajattar@appealingproducts.com.area.

NEAR NCSU.

at rlcutraleigh@edr trust.com for

M-F from 12:30 - 5:30pm and Tu/Th from

Please send a resume and the names

Exceptional 3, 4 and 5 bedroom

information. Students must apply online

9:30am - 5:30pm. Duties include daily

and contact information of three

houses. Close to campus. Available

at www.UTPackLeader.com by Sunday,

trips downtown, general deliveries both

professional and personal references.

August 1, 2013, for upcoming

2/10/2013 for consideration.

local and out of town, and various office

If you graduated in the last three years,

school year. Very attractive. Ideal for

duties. Applicants should be comfortable

please send a copy of your transcript.

students. Call Day:919-833-7142 and

Ski Colorado Spring Break

lifting 25lbs. Good driving record is

ajattar@appealingproducts.com.

Evening:919-783-9410. Please visit our

P a r t -T i m e

Cosmetics/Skincare

in Clumsy Hearts, a slightly misguided

ServiceS

romance by Hysteria Molt. Available via Amazon.com.

Breckenridge studio condo at Grand

SHOP ONLINE at over 1900 business at

Opportunity

required and must own your own vehicle.

website www.jansenproperties.com

Timber Lodge Resort available 3/1-3/8

Grandpa Hamner Place; http://www.

This is a part-time opportunity in

$10.50/hr with mileage reimbursements.

Email krystal_pittman@ncsu.edu

for $100/night.

ehamner.comCall/Text 919.274.5532 to

cosmetics and skincare. Work around

Email your resume to

Very nice, sleeps up to 4. 919-493-4067

lease! Available immediately $1400.

your own schedule with car and vacation

legalresumes04@yahoo.com

Email

incentives. For interview call

shelleyantom@msn.

comappliances, and granite counter tops.

919-323-9780.

ALL INCLUDED 4BR/4BA close to

Call/Text 919.274.5532 to lease! Available

Email jmori001@nc.rr.com

NCSU.

immediately $1400.

$400/room/month. www.

sunfishproperties.com FOR RELEASE JANUARY 25, 2013

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

LEVEL 3

LEVEL 1

Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Lewis

ACROSS 1 Fair share, maybe 5 Polite denial 11 Pro-__ 14 Arch type 15 Commensurate (with) 16 Soaked 17 Cry from a duped investor? 19 Brother 20 ���I” strain? 21 Where to find Ducks and Penguins: Abbr. 22 Eyes 24 Cry just before dozing off? 28 Eschewed the backup group 31 Mrs. Gorbachev 32 Influence 33 Took in 37 Lab medium 38 Thinking out loud, in a way 40 Farm father 41 Anthem fortifications 43 Cupid’s boss 44 Free 45 Dog named for the bird it hunted, familiarly 46 Cry from a superfan? 50 Hose 51 Dig in 52 John, Paul and George, but not Ringo: Abbr. 55 Electees 56 Cry from a Jeddah native? 61 Iron __ 62 Troubled state 63 Vronsky’s lover, in Tolstoy 64 “Balderdash!” 65 Some aces 66 Kid DOWN 1 Clinton’s birthplace 2 Bug-eyed 3 Jay related to a peacock?

1/25/13

By Kurt Krauss

4 Casbah headgear 5 Had a little something 6 Frère de la mère 7 Dent, say 8 Big lug 9 Travel org. since 1902 10 “Captain Kangaroo” character who told knock-knock jokes 11 Really bad 12 Haggard of country music 13 Flight part 18 Ocean-bay connector 23 Someone to admire 24 Grouch 25 Sung approval? 26 Prison area 27 Bring on board 28 Injury reminder 29 ’70s Olympics name 30 Good earth 34 Pixie dust leaver, to Peter 35 Deco designer

Thursday’s Puzzle Solved

Lookin’ for the answer key? VISIT TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

(c)2013 Tribune Media Services, Inc.

36 Beloved 38 Uffizi hangings 39 Hubbub 42 Pays to play 43 Into a state of decline 45 Ocean borders 46 Patch plant 47 Rock’s __ Boingo 48 Start 49 One may follow a casing

1/25/13

52 Trig function 53 XXX, at times 54 Three-handed game 57 Singer DiFranco 58 Bookmarked item nowadays 59 “Gloria in Excelsis __” 60 British rule in colonial India


Features

PAGE 8 • FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

TECHNICIAN

Researchers monitor mammal movement

1

2

EMAMMAL EXPERTS RECRUIT HOBBYISTS TO TRACK MAMMALS

3

Young Lee Associate Features Editor

People no longer need to be fully-trained scientists to have an impact on scientific research. With the growing popularity of a new movement in scientific research called “citizen science,” any hobbyist with enough curiosity can assist scientists in the gathering of data. Roland Kays, a forestry and environmental resources research associate professor, said a wealth of research owes a lot to the work of everyday citizens. Kays, who conducts much of his research at the Nature Research Center in the Museum of Natural Sciences, has been working for on a project called EMammal which utilizes data sent in from nearly 100 volunteers recruited by Kays last year. In total, with the help of these citizen scientists, Kays and other scientists involved with EMammal were able to survey information gathered from more than 15,700 camera traps stationed at 750 survey sites stretching from North Carolina up to Maryland. Kays’ specialty is in mammals, and he said wanted to conduct a research project that would do for mammals what a decades-long relationship between the science community and amateur bird watching community has done for scientific studies on birds. “Bird watchers are out there as citizen scientists, and they love to go out in the woods, look for animals, use their binoculars to look for birds, listen to the birds and write down what they see,” Kays said. “There has been a number of really awesome projects that some people have been involved in to harness this interest that people have with birds.” Recently, an older citizen science project called EBird celebrated collecting its hundred millionth data point, setting a new record for the

amount of data scientists have to work with. According to Kays, until recently mammalogists haven’t had such an opportunity so answering questions regarding the populations of mammalian species has been difficult. However, Kays said he believes he found the solution to amateur participation in newer, more user-friendly camera traps. “You can’t go out and see mammals very easily,” Kays said. “Most animal species see you coming and they just run away and so this is why we’re excited about using camera traps. People run camera traps to help survey mammals and these cameras are basically like the binoculars of bird watching.” With these tools, some of which cost up to $500, volunteers are able to provide invaluable information that scientists can verify. “One of the biggest downsides of citizen science is knowing how much you can trust the data because if you have untrained people collecting the data, there is some risk that they’re not going to do it right,” Kays said. “And so, this was great because we have these voucher photographs. We can easily verify what we find.” Michael Biggerstaff, a senior in fisheries and wildlife science, helped set up camera traps, captured photos of mammals and helped to verify animals for EMammal last semester. Working in the game lands along South Mountain, Biggerstaff said it was one of the most exciting research projects he had ever been a part of. “I have had experience with trail camera traps in the past and it’s kind of a thrill to see what kinds of animals you’re going to get. But also because [South Mountain] is close to my house but far enough away so there is some differences in the animals, I was just curious to see what kinds of animals were different from what I was used to

seeing,” Biggerstaff said. “For example, I got some black bear photos and I don’t get those near my house.” Within 15 weeks, Biggerstaff captured about 20,000 pictures such as shots of squirrels, white-tailed deer, raccoons, possums and chipmunks, including photos of black bears playing with the cameras. “When the bears would walk up, it was like they thought the cameras were toys,” Biggerstaff said. “But when something the size of a fully-grown black bear decides to play with something, it’ll cause damage. So sometimes, my cameras would be barely hanging onto the tree and looking in a completely different direction.” Kays said he had hoped to engage EMammal volunteers with something that he hoped would be fun ever since he came up with the idea of the project. “I was starting to gear up to write some grants and then I saw that this guy, Bill Mcshea, at the Smithsonian had done a smaller Citizen Science camera trap project and I knew him because we had collaborated on some other stuff. So I contacted him and asked him how it worked, how people liked it and he said it worked great and people loved it,” Kays said. “I saw all the really great potential of it in terms of involving people in science, getting people outdoors and, from the scientific perspective, having really good data.” Currently, Kays and his team analyze the data gathered from the camera traps that volunteers manage in order to discover how hiking and hunting affect mammals who live in the area. However, they have yet to report any of their findings. Kays and his team said that they will continue to post updates on their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/ eMammal.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MICHAEL BIGGERSTAFF

Above left: Camera traps catch a black bear. “When the black bears would walk up, it was like they thought the cameras were toys,” Biggerstaff said. “But when something the size of a fully-grown black bear decides to play with something, it’ll cause damage, so sometimes my cameras would be barely hanging onto the tree and looking in a completely different direction.”

4

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MICHAEL BIGGERSTAFF

The camera traps catch a pair of bucks battling in the early morning. The photo sequence was taken at Rock Creek Park. The camera traps EMammal use typically run about $500 and are triggered by heat and movement.

Thinking about graduate school? Want to learn about the opportunities at UNC Greensboro?

you are invited to attend UNCG’s annual Spring Graduate School Information Session on Monday, February 4, from 6:00pm to 8:00pm. Workshops will include “Building a Strong Application,” “Graduate Student Life at UNCG” and “Financing Your Graduate Education.” Meet with program representatives and faculty.

Above right: A white-tailed deer discovers and examines one of the camera traps. Left: A coyote poses for the camera trap. This photo was the winner of EMammal’s most-liked photo contest in October 2012.

Free parking. For additional information and to register for the event, visit our web site at grs.uncg.edu/infosession or call 336.334.5596.


Sports

COUNTDOWN

• 1 day until men’s basketball plays North Carolina

INSIDE

• Tar Hell Poster

TECHNICIAN

PAGE 10 •FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013

MEN’S BASKETBALL

Wolfpack renews rivalry again Luke Nadkarni Staff Writer

Flowers no longer on football team Redshirt freshman Hakeem Flowers is no longer a part of the N.C. State football team. Flowers, 6-3, 182-pounds, from Simpsonville, S.C., saw action in nine games but did not record a catch this season. He redshirted in 2011. He did not travel to the Music City Bowl with the Wolfpack. SOURCE: PACK PRIDE

Baseball earns highest preseason ranking ever N.C. State landed at No. 8 in Baseball America’s preseason top 25, released Thursday. The standing represents the highest preseason ranking in Wolfpack baseball history. N.C. State also earned a No. 11 ranking from USA Today and Collegiate Baseball, and a No. 9 ranking from Perfect Game. Those marks set new program bests, eventually eclipsed by Thursday’s ranking from Baseball America. The last time N.C. State appeared in Baseball America’s preseason poll was a No. 28 ranking ahead of the 2007 season. The Pack’s previous high came in 1993, when State entered the season ranked No. 16 by both Baseball America and USA Today.

SOURCE: N.C. STATE ATHLETICS

ATHLETIC SCHEDULE January 2013 Su

M

Tu

W

Th

F

Sa

30

31

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

1

2

Without a doubt, the one game every N.C. State fan circles on the schedule is when the North Carolina Tar Heels invade PNC Arena. Rivalry or not, there is always plenty of buzz in the Triangle when these two ACC foes go at it on the hardwood. Saturday is the latest installment of the series, and with the Wolfpack picked to win the ACC in the preseason, it has attracted even more attention than usual. So much, in fact, that Saturday’s 7 p.m. tipoff will be nationally televised on ESPN with the network’s top announcing team of Dan Shulman and Dick Vitale on the call. Additionally, College GameDay will originate from PNC Arena the morning of the game. Over 7,000 State students requested tickets for the game, with nearly half of them coming away empty handed. “It should be a lot of fun,” Wolfpack head coach Mark Gottfried said Wednesday during his weekly radio show. “It’s great exposure for our team, our fans and N.C. State University.” No. 18 State currently sits at 15-4 with a 4-2 mark in the ACC. The Pack is coming off an 86-84 upset loss to Wake Forest in Winston-Salem on Tuesday night. Junior forward C.J. Leslie leads the way for State, averaging 15.3 points per game. Junior guard Lorenzo Brown is second in scoring with 12.8 points per

JOHN JOYNER/TECHNICIAN

Freshman guard Rodney Purvis drives past the Clemson defense during the men’s basketball game in PNC Arena Sunday, Jan. 20, 2013. The Wolfpack defeated the Tigers 66-62.

game and first in assists with 6.9. The Wolfpack’s leading rebounder is senior forward Richard Howell, who pulls down a whopping 10.9 boards per game. As a team, N.C. State shoots 51 percent from the

field, which is third in the country. However, the Pack struggled from the free-throw line in the loss to Wake, going only 56 percent. There were struggles on defense as well, particularly in the second half.

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL Today GYMNASTICS V. WEST VIRGINIA Reynolds Coliseum, 7 p.m. MEN’S TENNIS AT ITA KICK OFF Oxford, Miss., TBA

Lady Pack takes first ACC win

TRACK AT VIRGINIA TECH Blacksburg, Va., All Day Saturday SWIMMING AND DIVING V. UNCWILMINGTON Wilmington, N.C., 11 a.m.

Deputy Sports Editor

RIFLE V. AIR FORCE Charleston, S.C., All Day MEN’S TENNIS AT ITA KICK OFF Oxford, Miss., TBA Sunday WRESTLING V. VIRGINIA Charlottesville, Va., 1 p.m. WOMEN’S BASKETBALL AT GEROGIA TECH Atlanta, Ga., 2 p.m.

CAIDE WOOTEN/TECHNICIAN

MEN’S TENNIS AT ITA KICK OFF TOUR Oxford, Miss., All Day

Junior guard Myisha Goodwin-Coleman prepares to drive past Virginia Tech’s Monet Tellier in Reynolds Coliseum, Jan. 24. The Wolfpack women captured their first conference win Thursday night, defeating the Hokies 58-39. The victory puts the Pack at 9-11 overall, and 1-7 in the ACC.

Monday MEN’S TENNIS ITA KICKOFF Oxford, Miss., All Day

Daniel Wilson

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL AT BOSTON COLLEGE Chestnut Hill, Mass., 7 p.m.

QUOTE OF THE DAY “You never take a win for granted.” Kellie Harper, women’s basketball head coach

Thomas de Thaey: easily forgotten Nolan Evans

MEN’S BASKETBALL V. UNC-CHAPEL HILL PNC Arena, 7 p.m.

Thursday WOMEN’S TENNIS V. EAST CAROLINA Isenhour Tennis Center, 4 p.m.

UNC continued page 9

COMMENTARY

TRACK AT LIBERTY OPEN Lynchburg, Va., All Day

Tuesday MEN’S BASKETBALL AT VIRGINIA Charlottesville, Va., 7 p.m.

State allowed the Demon Deacons to shoot nearly 60 percent from the field in the final period on Tuesday. “One thing you need to do is make sure you’re improving on the things you’re doing,” Gottfried said on the radio show. That certainly applies to defense and foul shooting against the Tar Heels. UNC is averaging 78.6 points per game, good for 14th in the nation. Carolina’s record is 13-5 and 3-2 in conference. They started ACC play with consecutive losses to Virginia and Miami, but have since bounced back to win three straight. Carolina is coming off a 79-63 victory over Georgia Tech on Wednesday, pushing them into a tie with Duke for third place in the conference. State’s big men will have to contend with UNC sophomore forward James Michael McAdoo, who leads his team in both scoring and rebounding with 14.7 and 8.3 per game, respectively. Junior swingman Reggie Bullock is right behind him, averaging 14.3 points and 5.8 boards. UNC will be without junior guard Leslie McDonald for Saturday’s game. Heels coach Roy Williams announced shortly before the Georgia Tech game on Wednesday that McDonald would miss three games for academic reasons. McDonald had already missed the previous three games due to a knee injury. McDonald is averaging 8.4 points this season. Carolina swept three meetings last season, including a 69-67 last-sec-

Staff Writer

N.C. State women’s basketball (9-11, 1-7 ACC) has found itself back on the winning side as it defeated the Virginia Tech Lady Hokies (7-11, 1-6 ACC), 58-39. This improves the Lady Wolfpack’s record to 14-0 all-time against the Hokies. Virginia Tech was the first unranked opponent State had faced at home since it beat Presbyterian on Dec. 15. This win gives the team its first victory since Dec. 30 and its first win against a conference opponent. “The weight is off their shoulders,” head coach Kellie Harper said. “You never take a win for granted. Right now, it has been hard to come by. We are really happy to walk out of here with a win.”

Junior guard Myisha Goodwin- four missed shots. Coleman led the way for State with Burke had seven points in the 12 points, three assists and three contest while Gatling and Eli finsteals. Senior guard Marissa Kas- ished the game with six apiece. tanek tacked on Brown scored four an additional 10 and led the team points and grabbed in assists and steals six rebounds. with three for both “This was our st at i st ic s a long payoff game,” Kasw it h G oodw i ntanek said. “It really Coleman. made us want to get “Everybody back into the gym played with confiMarissa Kastanek, and continue to do dence,” Goodwinsenior guard what we are doing. Coleman said. There is no reason “This proves how why we cannot go on a winning we have to play and how we have streak.” to win games,” Kastanek added. “I Junior forward Breezy Williams think that it is important that evled the team in rebounds with seven. eryone gets involved.” After Kastanek’s six, junior forward State exploded from the gate, beKody Burke, redshirt sophomore ginning the game with a 16-0 run guard Len’Nique Brown, freshman guard Ashley Eli and junior center LADY PACK continued page 9 Markeisha Gatling each grabbed

“This proves how we have to play and how we have to win games.”

After a long Tuesday evening of disappointing basketball and hockey, I slept in until around noon Wednesday. The first person I saw after waking up was my roommate Charlie. “Did you see about Thomas de Thaey?” he asked. I shook my head, and he told me that De Thaey, a former N.C. State forward, had blasted men’s basketball head coach Mark Gottfried on Twitter. He continued to tell me De Thaey’s tweet had been retweeted by freshman forward T.J. Warren and favorited by the father of freshman guard Tyler Lewis. Immediately, this had my attention. I sat down on Twitter and read the tweet from De Thaey’s account that still dons “GOPACK” in its tag. “That’s what happens when you’re a great recruiter, but a terrible coach!” I thought perhaps this was a misunderstanding and De Thaey was talking about another coach. Perhaps he was referring to Kentucky head coach John Calipari, who had lost to Alabama the night before. Then I read the tweets that followed and it became clear that he was talking about his own former coach. I began pondering why he would do such a thing, and why Warren and Lewis’ father would support such thoughts.

DE THAEY continued page 9


12

Tueday, January 25, 2013

Some Opinions, Some News QUOTE OF THE DAY: Established 1893, Eleventy plus years

ORANGE JULIUS CAESAR, PAGE SHREDDER, ICANTREAD@UNCSUCKS. COM

IVANA BIGGUN, OFFICE SECURITY,BIGGUN@UNCSUCKS.COM KELLY McUGLY, COLOR CHOOSER, ILOVERED@UNCSUCKS.COM

“ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS, PRINTS, WE GUESS.”

OVER DOSE

CHASTITY BELDT, SENIOR IN COMMUNICATION

KVETCHING BOARD:

FEATURED ONLINE READER COMMENT

“Just saw Coach Roy and some players streaking on campus, I guess we’re starting the celebration early. Go Heels!”

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain The hospital needs a bigger parking deck. I can’t walk more than 50 feet to Kenan. I’m sure we can afford it. Screw Dexter Strickland. I work hard for my grades. He cheats and gets a threesome.

STUCK_IN_TAR, ON THE LEAKED NAKED PHOTOS

Sweet idea, not success

Why doesn’t the bookstore sell Jordan sneakers? I need the latest $200 gym shoes. To the Indie Weekly: you are great jack-off material.

JUAN MENGANO

Budweiser? More like Budstupider, because it’s not local.

STAFF WRITER

Someone should invent a pea coat that doesn’t get caught in my bike spokes. To corporate corporations: WTF?! >:( If I gave out my number like I give out my email, would I get more dates? I have hooked up with more people via the Kvetching board than I have through Craigslist ads. To the thee naked men from N.C. State I saw on campus: Thanks, that’s the most sexually satisfied I’ve felt since I’ve been here. Not gonna lie, I like the smell of my own farts... and so does my girlfriend! Really, y’all, how DO magnets work? To the guy who blew an accidental snot rocket in Lenoir: Thanks, as if the food was already unappetizing. To the State fans who think we’re rivals: damn, uh, I forgot what I was going to say. LOLZ As a senior, sometimes I can’t help but feel like a freshman again...and that my classes are just as easy. To all the people who submit on the Kvetching Board: You’re horny, I’m horny, let’s do it.. To the sorority girls who walk around with the “Go Heels, Go America” shirts, you forgot to mention your favorite state — Idaho.

DTHELL/ CHARLES DICKENDS

In a UNC basketball threesome/reunion, Roy Williams comes out on top. Tyler Zeller and Kendall Marshall visit campus to pump up and passionately excite students for the game.

UNC courts Bieber, health center overwhelmed HASSAN BIN-LAID CITY EDITOR

Universit y Admissions leaked a document to the Daily Tar Hell that Justin Bieber, teenage heartthrob pop star, is considering attending UNC-Chapel Hill in the fall of 2013. Women across campus have exhibited symptoms of Bieber Fever, a sometimes-fatal condition, and the University Health Center has admitted 582 infected patients as of Tuesday. After seeing the success of American Idol Scotty McCreery at N.C. State, University Admissions Director Stephen Farmer started to pursue upcoming teenage pop artists, according to the leak. “McCreery has charisma and can sell a lot of biscuits,” Farmer said in the classified memorandum. “He’s an asset to State’s public relations, and

we want some of that sweet stuff too. I think Bieber’s got that.” Farmer stated that Bieber can be enticed by a large fan base on UNC’s campus, and the University may be able to use donations from Bieber to make a performing arts center just for the singer. “Bieber has donated to 13 charities and foundations,” Farmer stated. “We could be that next one. And after all these scandals, we’ll take all the random donations we can get.” The prospect of Bieber on campus has incited disorder in many dormitories with female residents, and medical students are studying those admitted to the hospital as special cases. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Selma Louis, a medical student. “The pa-

Heels embrace average season CARRIE DE WAY STAFF WRITER

The University of North Carolina is one of the kings of college basketball. Every time November rolls around, the entire town of Chapel Hill gears up for yet another fantastic season capped by a deep NCAA run and hopefully another national championship to hang in the rafters of the Dean Smith Center. This season, however, the perception was different. After an Elite Eight loss to Kansas in 2012, the Tar Heels lost four starters to the NBA, and expectations were tempered as the leaves started to change. UNC was expected to be much more average than in recent years. They were picked to finish third in the ACC, behind Triangle rivals N.C. State and Duke. And to the Tar Heel faithful, that was surprisingly okay. Even with a 12-5 overall record and a 2-2 mark in conference play going into Saturday’s showdown with non-rival N.C. State, Carolina fans aren’t sweating it.

“I think it’s like so presch that N.C. State thinks we’re their rivals. Who do they think they are, Duke?

“After losing Zeller, Barnes, Henson and Marshall, I knew our team wouldn’t be quite the world-beaters they usually are,” Albert Heimerdinger IV, a UNC junior majoring in English, said. “State and Duke and even a couple other teams in the ACC have better teams than we do this season.” Carolina’s mediocrity this season was noticed early on when they were drubbed by Butler in the semifinals of the Maui Invitational. A usual Tar Heel squad would have bullied the Bulldogs off the court. Not this year. Even so, the loss wasn’t taken very heavily, not even by UNC’s head-man himself. “After that game I just thought, ‘Shoot, we just had an off day,’” UNC head coach Roy Williams said. “But boy, was I wrong.” A relatively average array of games followed the early-season tournament. The Heels had their way with many weaker mid-to-low major opponents, just like every ACC team does every season. But they were also run out of

the gym by Indiana, 83-59, and the game wasn’t even that close. Then came an 18-point loss to Texas -- the same Texas team that is currently 8-10 and has yet to win a conference game. There have been a few bright spots for the Tar Heels. They were able to beat a ranked UNLV squad at the Dean Dome just before the turn of the New Year. But they followed that up with a loss at Virginia in their conference opener a week later. “After we lost to those dadgum Wahoos, it hit me,” Williams said. “We’re an average ball club. We’re having our ups and downs just like the other three hundred-odd members of Division 1.” Heading into Saturday’s non-rivalry game in Raleigh, the Heels have managed to even their conference record. Still, they sit in the middle of the pack in the ACC standings, though it’s still relatively early.

tients come in with bright red skin, inflammation around the armpits accompanied by heavy perspiration, hyperventilation and tremors.” “The patients act like they’ve been lobotomized,” Dr. Ronald Beasley said. “They will need a lot of therapy and time to recover, and if Justin ever comes to campus, we’ll have to call the CDC or WHO. It could get really bad.” The University has focused on recruiting Bieber over high school basketball stars because, according to men’s coach Roy Williams, the recruits will follow Bieber. “I got Bieber fever, you got Bieber fever, we all got it,” Williams said. “Every high school boy who plays basketball has it too, and you betcha, they’ll be coming here in droves once we got Justin.”

Cha ncel lor Holden Thorp announced Wednesday that UNCChapel Hill will start producing its own version of university-made ice cream called the Bleating Sheep. The brand is based off the successful model of N.C. State’s Howling Cow ice cream, a popular treat among the student body and NCSU Chancellor Randy Woodson. Thorp said the Bleating Sheep will take a more gourmet approach to the classic Howling Cow product, and UNC-CH’s own ice cream will use sheep’s milk instead of cow’s milk. Thorp said using sheep’s milk, the nourishment of the ram, the school’s mascot, will keep university students strong. He also mentioned that it will keep their taste buds satisfied. “I love me some goat’s milk,” Thorp said. “You know, I’ve been know to take it straight from the source. Ain’t nothing like that fresh taste — and it’s that

fresh taste that will make the Bleating Sheep a unique and delicious ice cream product.” The flavors of the Bleating Sheep include Tar Heel Swirl and Ram’s Head Chunk. The Tar Heel Swirls, which Thorp dubbed “Chancellor’s Choice,” is a vanilla base with a swirl of chocolate flavored pitch and tar. The Ram’s Head Chunk is a variant of Moose Tracks, but instead of peanut butter cups, Ramses’ own pellet-like waste is blended into the mix. “And who knew you could get your daily dose of fiber?” Thorp said. Though the chancellor has shown enthusiasm for the new product, the student body is not as receptive as anticipated. Cal Abunga, a junior in nutrition science, said the mix is unpalatable. “It’s a good idea, but I think I may just stick to Ben & Jerry’s, or even buy N.C. State Howling Cow ice cream,” Abunga said. “I don’t know anyone who could ever buy this.” With more than $5 million invested into launching Bleating Sheep, it looks like this project will leave a sour taste in the administration’s mouth.

Pooterish students frustrated KHAN STIPATED STAFF WRITER

Protest ing students clenched more than just their fists on Thursday, lamenting the toilets on campus, none of which are in working order after a water pipe burst at the start of the semester. “I’ve been forced to hold [it] in for two weeks now,” complained Phil O’Miself. “I’m getting really impatient.” The feeling is all-too-common on campus, and students everywhere are making their irritableness known. “It’s starting to feel like there’s something stuck up there — sideways. I’m not sure how else they expect me to act when this is going on,” said Anita Deuce, a senior in banana studies. “I kind of like it,” said one student who wishes to remain anonymous. “It makes me walk more quickly, so it always looks like I’m going

DTHELL/ SLIM CHANCE

somewhere or doing something important.” The most outspoken group on campus has been the True Blue Squatter’s Rights Crew. President of the group Ural Ires said “Until now, this group hasn’t done anything at all. Granted, the broken toilets have nothing to do with squatter’s rights — we just feel our name is finally relevant.” Freshman Holden Loafs expressed his outrage in a Facebook status: “I know we make

fun of N.C. State for having cows, but at least the cows get to [expletive] wherever they want.” There is no word from administration about how long it will take to fix the problem. Head custodian at the University Stalin Aprativ urges students to remain calm. “We are working very hard to resolve this issue. Hopefully we will have it fixed by Saturday, before we get the tar beaten out of us.”


Technician - January 25, 2013