Issue 6, Spring 2015

Page 1 | @ncfcatalice











A very professional and investigative newspaper of NCF (honors college of FL)

Fall 2015 incoming class exceeds 600 students BY KAYLIE STOKES More than 60 percent of this year’s admitted applicants have already accepted their offers for New College, leading to an unprecedented incoming class of more than 600 students – effectively doubling the size of the college overnight. Last year the Admissions Office accepted 1,013 of the 1,717 applicants, but following in line with the patterns of previous years, only 279 students accepted and enrolled. This year, the college hoped to increase the incoming class by just over 10 percent and was aiming for an incoming cohort of 290. However, in the past month since sending out acceptance packages, more than 600 students have already accepted their offers and paid deposits. The Admissions Office has ordered a halt to accepting any more applicants, but already the school is wondering what it will do with the tidal wave of first-years heading for campus next fall. “We’re not really sure what happened,” Admissions Coordinator Deirdre Carmicheal said. “We suspect it has something to do with our

Kaylie Stokes/Catalyst

Hundreds of admitted students congregate in front of the bay, scrambling to sign up for the best tents to live in due to the limited number of dorms on campus.

increasing prevalence in top college rankings, as well as our remarkable STARs, but we really had no reason to expect enrollment rates at this level.” The college legally cannot rescind its acceptance offers, leading to panic within the administration about how to best handle the situation. Housing has become a major issue over the past few days. “We’ll obviously be letting a lot more students live off campus next semester to open up rooms for the

incoming first-years who are required to live on campus,” Mark Stier, associate dean for student affairs, said. “However, we’ve also come up with a creative solution. We’ll be turning the field behind Dort into a wilderness living learning community and renting out plots for students to set up camp on. This should satisfy the students who prefer on campus housing for transportation reasons.”

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Friendzoning added to Student Code of Conduct BY COLT DODD After much deliberation among various administrators, friendzoning has been added to the Student Code of Conduct as the 38th violation. Statistics from the Registrar revealed that one of the main contributing factors to the attrition rate was that Student Affairs did not investigate any cases of friendzoning, which led to many unaddressed upsets in the community at large. The Student Code of Conduct has defined friendzoning as “openly acknowledging unrequited affection and regarding the romantic pursuer as ‘just a friend.’” Dean of Students Tracy Murry spoke with the Catalyst about the severity of friendzoning and how it will be addressed in the future. “I’m really glad that on behalf of the college, we can address this growing concern,” Murry said. “There is nothing more concerning than guys being nice to girls and then being turned down for a date. I want the student body to know that this is something we will not take lightly.” The Registrar disclosed that

Colt Dodd/Catalyst

The school will spend an estimate $4,200 to have new Code of Conduct reprinted. The funds will be taken from the NCSA budget.

during exit interviews with students who were leaving New College, reports of friendzoning had increased by 420 percent. This increase is so significant that third-court resident adviser

(RA) Kaylie Stokes is now heading a friendzoning support group meeting in HCL 7 on Wednesday nights. “We see more instances of friendzoning in first-year residents

because they undervalue chivalrous gentlemen,” Stokes remarked. “The object is to cope with friendzoning after it has taken place and what measures can be taken to avoid it happening again in the future.” Thesis student and Count of B Dorm Robert Ward told the Catalyst that he has never experienced friendzoning first hand and did not understand the measures taken by Student Affairs. “I don’t get Friendzoned because that would imply that I have friends,” Ward said. At press time, Murry noted that a statue of a bronze fedora would be installed on campus during summer 2015 to replace the fish bench in front of the Counseling and Wellness Center. Funds for the statue were taken from the proceeds of Doritos and Mountain Dew sold at Walls. “Hopefully this will set New College in a better direction,” Murry concluded.

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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst


New College allows first sorority on campus BY HALEY JORDAN History is being made as the first ever New College sorority, Lambda Omega Lambda, makes its debut on campus with a Bid Day, the final step of sorority selection process. First-year Mimi Chenyao has been attempting to create a sorority since the beginning of the fall semester and has finally won permission to make her dream a reality. New College Greek life will be centered on First Court, where all of the future pledges will live. “First Court has always been a lull in terms of student life and activity, and now it will become the center of something new and exciting,” Chenyao said. She is currently petitioning for funds from the Student Allocations Committee (SAC) to repaint the once empty First Court. “It’s going to be pink, pink everywhere, and hopefully a few walls will have glitter and flowers. It’s going to look a lot better.” Sorority fees will average $1,000 dollars per semester, $500 less than the national average. “A lot of people think that sororities are just about paying for friends, but that’s not it,” Chenyao said. “We’re not going to promise friends. This sorority is mainly about making really pretty decorations for parties and excluding people. We are going to have a lot of parties, a lot of chanting, and a lot of posing in the same way for pictures.” When asked what the requirements are for acceptance, Chenyao replied, “It’s really easy, you need to tell people that you are ugly for reassurance, wear rain boots when it’s cloudy, be willing to spend a lot on monogramming, go to the bathroom in large groups, make other girls cry, and squeal a lot.” “Basically First Court’s going to be packed full of sh

No longer shit out of luck: NCF bayfront new dumping ground for sewage SUBMITTED BY BLAKE DAVIDSON After recent construction, the bayfront is now the outlet for Manatee county’s sewage systems. Included in the recent 2013 construction on the New College bayfront was a complex system to relocate excess human waste out of Manatee County and into the bay. New College has signed an $800,000 contract with Manatee County officials to approve this new waste dump. These funds will help the college pay for three additional dorm rooms for its largest incoming class yet (see page 1). With cuts to NCF funding due to poor scorecard performance, school administrators were reportedly “looking for a way out,” an anonymous source reported to the Cataclysm. Over the past two years, Manatee County has been experiencing issues with their solid waste disposal systems. These systems are over capacity due to an increase in bowel production among residents and can no longer retain this rise in sewage. Land use ordinances place restrictions on where Manatee County’s Public Works Department can relocate solid waste for permanent deposit making remaining options limited within the county. While Manatee County is home to less than 350,00 residents, recent statistics from

the U.S. Department of Human Waste and Sanitation show that within the county lines, solid waste production is at a level consistent with a population close to 900,000. Florida legislature has provided county officials across the state with infrastructure plans to dispose of the solid waste generated in their jurisdictions. With the majority of counties handling three pounds of waste per resident per day, the state government provided Manatee County with the capacity to handle 1.05 million pounds per day, leaving a reported excess of 1.65 million pounds of shit per day. “Manatee County as a whole, and especially Bradenton, have had serious health and safety issues in the past decade stemming from the excess waste our residents produce,” City of Bradenton Public Works Official Kim Clayback said. “We sincerely appreciate the students and faculty of New College choosing to make your campus the new home of our excess feces. On behalf of all Manateeans (and manatees), I apologize for the smell, but we are pleased to finance this brand new college to help educate its students and prepare them for a better tomorrow.”

NCSA presidents extend term to 2018 After the recent special elections passed a Constitutional Amendment changing the NCSA Presidential term to an Academic year instead of a Calendar year, co-Presidents Shelby Statham and Paige Pellaton, second years, decided to pass a presidential decree that their own terms would be extended to 2018. “We figured that the recent election shows that students trust us,” Pellaton said in an interview with the Catalyst. “Shelby and I had been thinking about this for a while. This vote of faith from the student body was all the evidence we needed.” “It’s really just about economics

“[INSERT FALL OUT BOY QUOTE HERE]” © 3015, the Catalyst. All rights reserved. The Catalyst is available online at,, @ncfcatalyst The Catalyst is a made up tutorial sponsored by Professor Maria Vesperi. It is developed in a small room in the corner of W we invaded, using stolen copies of Adobe Photoshop and Adobe InDesign and printed at Sun Coast Press with funds provided by bribes from the NCSA to make them look good.

and time,” Statham said. “If we’re presidents until 2018, that’s a lot of elections and campaigning we don’t have to go through. Besides, I don’t trust any current first years to hold this position anytime soon.” An interview with Vice President of Student Affairs and former Supervisor of Elections McAlister Grant revealed strong cabinet support for the move. “Elections are a huge waste of time,” Grant said. “It’s just an elaborate show; the current president and the Supervisor of Elections always make up the numbers to pick whoever they want anyway. This just streamlines it.”


National Honors Society revealed to be Satanist cult BY SARA MINEO And now, a year and half later, I find myself losing everything I had gained due to careless mistakes on my part. I would never purposely be irresponsible and undependable, but I do make mistakes. The meeting I missed in February was the first violation. I honestly didn’t even realize I had missed a meeting until I was recently notified. I forgot to put the date of the meeting into my calendar and had completely forgot about it. never heard the screams I missed was due to the fact that I’m dually enrolled at St. Petersburg College and had a class that hindered me from attending the meeting. Usually, meetings were held in high school’s basement so this was never a problem in the past. I naively believed that I did not need to notify the NHS Advisors never spoke of my absence because they would understand that many members had various reasons for not

$-Dog Money-o Don’t send us direct submissions, letters, What Does She Even Do Editor announcements and inquiries because we Theresa Old Everything Sara Doesn’t Want don’t care: (Not Jennifer) Lopez Skim Editor Caitlyn ROFL Facebook Stalker Editor The Catalyst Lazyout Editor 7777 Hogwarts Colt (like a baby horse) Dada, Staff Writers Hogsmede, London 34243 Cat Ribbit, & Photographers Guilia Howweird, Michael Jordan, Sydney Tentacruel, The Catalyst reserves the right to edit all Jasmine Res-P-E-C-T, Ryan submissions for grammar, space and take over the world. Paceyourself; Kay-lies Storks | @ncfcatalyst








A student newspaper of New College of Florida










Students concerned over hygiene of pool and hot tub BY GIULIA HEYWARD With the warmer months of the year approaching, the once underutilized pool is now receiving attention by swimsuit-clad students looking for a way to keep cool. However, those who enter the water eager to have fun are also later questioning what exactly their bodies have been submerged in for hours. Many are concerned with just how clean a small body of water shared by one student body can really be. “The hot tub [...] was so full of stuff like leaves and also hair which was extra gross to me,” first-year Liliana Solomon said. Typically, the pool and hot tub are cleaned by the custodial staff. Before the pool can be opened for the day, lifeguards are responsible for ensuring that the pool and hot tub follow health guidelines. “[Lifeguards] test the chlorine and pH and if it doesn’t meet standards then we close it,” thesis-student Megan Farley, who is a Fitness Center staff member and part-time lifeguard for the pool, said. The pool and hot tub are monitored every four hours by the lifeguard staff. This process involves using a canister

Giulia Heyward/Catalyst

The pool was recently closed due to a broken light. Now that it has reopened, concerns about its hygiene have emerged.

that is dipped into the water and then tested to indicate the pH level and chlorine present. Anything outside of what is considered by the state to be a normal range would legally require that the pool and hot tub be closed. In addition, any sort of bodily fluid such as blood, feces, or vomit would also cause the pool to be closed until it is cleaned. The hot tub, on account of its size and temperature, is also more likely to be shut down. Due to its small size, it is easier for there to be a chemical imbalance since it can become crowded

quicker with less people than it would take to crowd the pool. A maximum number of nine people are allowed in the hot tub at any given time. “Sometimes a bunch of people will jump in,” Fitness Center Director Colin Jordan said. “And what happens is that [the hot tub] is controlled by computer and the chlorine demand starts to go up beyond what the limit is and then it can’t keep up and will just shut off entirely. Because the chlorine shuts off

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State mandated hazing course potentially be offered BY COLT DODD In a statewide initiative to teach students in public institutions about the dangers of hazing, New College may offer an optional online course on the subject. The course would be available for incoming students starting in the fall. Resident Advisers (RAs) who were being considered for rehiring have already taken the course, which aims to educate students on what it means to undergo or enforce extreme peer pressure. The course was acquired by the school at no cost and will not be mandatory. The Student Code of Conduct defines hazing as “any action or situation which recklessly or intentionally endangers the mental or physical health or safety of a student for the purpose of initiation or admission into an affiliation with an organization.” These actions, which are commonly seen in the context of fraternities and sororities, can include “forced exclusion from social contact, forced conduct which could result in extreme embarrassment, or any other

forced activity which could adversely affect the mental health or dignity of the individual.” Yet while the State of Florida is determined to educate students on the dangers of hazing, Dean of Students Tracy Murry noted that he has dealt with only a couple instances of hazing in his seven years of working at New College. “We’ve had maybe, I would say, one or two in seven years that we actually placed that label on the charge letter,” Murry said. “I would assume this is the way it is at the lot of schools. If five people encourage a 6th person to do something they’re not comfortable with, that’s hazing … Harassment, one of our more popular charges, could be considered hazing. [Hazing] is easier to prove if it falls under harassment.” Murry noted that some New College traditions, for instance, the triannual scavenger hunt that takes place before Palm Court Party (PCP), could be viewed as a textbook case of hazing. “Whenever we’ve tried to examine that, people who might have been

responsible [say] they did nothing wrong because people volunteered to do it,” Murry continued. “That’s the same as if you volunteered to do a fraternity or sorority or if you volunteer to be in a band or on a football team. That one doesn’t hold water with me.” Student Affairs took the feedback offered by RAs about what could be done to improve the course before it could be presented to incoming first-years next year. Murry told the Catalyst that according to Campus Life Coordinator Meghan Walde, the feedback was constructive and in fact, mostly positive. The results from the survey revealed that RAs wanted the course to be more specific to New College and not focus so heavily on scenarios occurring in fraternities, sororities and athletic departments. Third-year and first court RA Taylor Toro agreed that the course should be suited more specifically to New College before it is released to the student body at large. “I don’t know, just with regards to that hazing thing, I feel like a lot of it wasn’t tailored to New College as

a whole because we don’t have a lot of these fraternity sorority type gatherings of people that do these awful things to each other,” Toro said. “I know that since I’ve been here, I’ve felt pressured to do things, but I don’t know if that was hazing. I don’t know where we can draw the line between hazing and peer pressure.” Third-year and third court RA Destinee Aponte, however, believes that even though the hazing course could have been more directed to New College students, it still has some merit. “There were a lot of examples of Greek life and sports and we don’t have organizations like that here,” Aponte said. “We have VOX, but that’s not a club that does hazing, that’s a club that’s all about inclusivity … I still think it’s important to have some kind of awareness [about hazing] that even though its not apparent on our campus, maybe [students here] have friends at other places or universities that are going through hazing and don’t know about it. So having that awareness

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst



briefs by Yadira Lopez

A woman’s place is on the money The year 2020 will mark the centennial of the 19th amendment, which granted women the right to vote. A new online campaign, Women On 20s, is seeking to commemorate the occasion by putting a woman’s face on paper currency. Women on 20s is modeled after a political campaign; the primary round had voters choose three women from a list of 15 contenders that included Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Susan B. Anthony and Harriet Tubman, among others. Female historians and academicians assembled the list, judging candidates on two criteria: their impact on society, and the level of difficulty they faced to achieve their

goals. The campaign is targeting the $20 because it deems the current face of the bill, Andrew Jackson, a distasteful and ironic choice. As the seventh president of the U.S, Jackson signed legislation that culminated in the mass relocation of Native American tribes, commonly known as the Trail of Tears. He was also an opponent of the central banking system and favored coins over paper currency. Many say the likelihood of having a female face on the $20 bill by 2020 is rather high considering that all it takes is approval from the president and the Treasury. Supporters cite an encouraging speech made by President Obama last year in which he stated that

having women on our currency would be a “pretty good idea.” Technically, women have already appeared on our currency but the dollar coins featuring Susan B. Anthony and Sacagawea never received heavy use. Today fewer than 80 million are in circulation, compared to $125 billion $20 bills. “Putting a woman’s face on paper currency is a good start to recognizing women’s contributions to America,” second-year and NCSA Co-President Paige Pellaton said. “A woman on the $20 would say that we as a nation are working towards gender equality.” Voting now at

Indiana to clarify discriminatory law In response to extensive backlash, Republican lawmakers in Indiana have agreed to clarify the Religious Freedom Restoration Act signed into law by Governor Mike Pence last week. The bill in its current form asserts that the state government cannot “substantially burden a person’s exercise of religion,” meaning that individuals or private businesses may have recourse to the law if they feel that providing services to particular individuals infringes upon their religious beliefs. Lawmakers stated that the fix would appease critics who argue that the bill grants Indiana businesses legal backing to discriminate against gay customers based on religious grounds. An often cited example is that of a

bakery that would refuse to cater to same-sex marriages; the law’s wording would sanction this move and would shield the business against a lawsuit. Governor Pence vehemently rejects the claim that the law is discriminatory. In a press conference he stated, “This bill is not about discrimination. And if I thought it was about discrimination I would have vetoed it.” Pence believes the controversy is due to mischaracterization of the law. “If it were simply a mischaracterization, clarification wouldn’t be necessary,” Indiana native and Professor of Sociology Emily Fairchild wrote in an email. Although 20 states and the federal government already have religious

freedom laws, they contain language that specifically forbids discrimination. “Without laws protecting sexual orientation, the [Indiana] law is not the same as other religious freedom laws,” Fairchild noted. The law caused swift resistance within the state as well as nationwide. Prior to its passing, tens of thousands of Indiana residents had already signed a petition asking the governor to veto the bill. Thousands more showed up to protest at the state capitol after the bill was signed. Information for this article was taken from and

Florida, as ‘hot’ as ever Statistics released by the U.S. Census Bureau in March revealed that Florida was home to six of the nation’s fastest-growing metro areas from 2013-2014. According to the report, the population influx was enough to offset the fact that there were more deaths than births in about half of the state’s counties. Florida – so seemingly in demand – is also clawing its way to the top of the rankings for most populous state, beating out New York for third place. The No. 1 spot for fastest-growing metro area for the second consecutive year went to The Villages, located to the west of Orlando. The growth exhibited in the state is particularly impressive considering that population gains nationwide have seen the lowest growth rate in 70 years, and U.S. fertil-

ity rates have fallen to an all time low. Domestic migration accounted for the bulk of the influx – The Villages saw a population increase of 26.1 percent mostly from domestic migration. No demographic breakdown has been released but Professor of Sociology and Environmental Studies David Brain suspects that some portion of the influx is related to the retirement of baby boomers. Other theories note that all but one of the metro-areas on the list boasted an unemployment rate below the national average. North Port-Sarasota-Bradenton ranked 18th on the list and gained around 16,000 new residents in the period analyzed by the Census Bureau, bringing the total population estimate in that area to 748,708 as of July 2014. While the state’s metro-areas con-

“Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy.” © 2015, the Catalyst. All rights reserved. The Catalyst is available online at,, @ncfcatalyst The Catalyst is an academic tutorial sponsored by Professor Maria Vesperi. It is developed in the New College Publications Lab using Adobe Photoshop and Adobe InDesign and printed at Sun Coast Press with funds provided by the New College Student Alliance.

tinuously flourishing population rate is an optimistic sign for the economy, it is also likely to cause friction over development, traffic and environmental impacts. “ … We have a regional economy that is heavily dependent on growth, and in a growing economy it might be possible to begin addressing some of [Sarasota County’s affordable] housing issues,” Brain said. “In fact, it will be important to do so, since at a certain point, economic growth can be stymied by the lack of ‘workforce’ housing. So there might even be an increasing incentive on the part of both business and local government to look for solutions.” Information for this article was taken from

General Editor Managing Editor Copy Editor Online Editor Layout Editor Staff Writers & Photographers

Sara Mineo Pariesa Young Yadira Lopez Caitlyn Ralph Bianca Benedí Colt Dodd, Katelyn Grimmett, Giulia Heyward, Haley Jordan, Sydney Kruljac, Jasmine Respess, Ryan Paice; Kaylie Stokes

Daily Show finds new host Comedy Central announced last week that Trevor Noah would replace John Stewart on “The Daily Show.” The 31-year-old South African comedian is known for routines about race and politics, and often riffs about his multiracial background – born of a Xhosa mother and Swiss-German father, Noah’s birth was considered illegal in apartheid-era South Africa. He is expected to bring a unique, young and international perspective to the show. Although Noah is a relative unknown in the states – having appeared on the “The Daily Show” only three times since December – he is well known in South Africa, where he has appeared on various TV programs and is famous for his stand-up and for hosting his own show, “Tonight with Trevor Noah.” The comedian is currently traveling worldwide with his new tour ‘Lost in Translation.’ Following Stewart’s announcement in February that he would step down sometime this year after 15 years of hosting “The Daily Show,” there was wide speculation about who would succeed him. Many expressed disappointment that the beloved comics Tina Fey or Amy Poehler were not chosen to host, since women have been conspicuously absent from plum gigs on late-night shows. “We talked to women. We talked to men,” President of Comedy Central Michelle Ganeless said in a statement. “We found in Trevor the best person for the job.” Rolling Stone speculated on the new direction in which Noah may take the show, noting that his cool and contained stage presence contrasts sharply with John Stewart’s tendency toward spittakes and fuming rages. Noah is a polyglot – he speaks six languages – and can reproduce accents effortlessly; the magazine predicts that the young comedian will have “almost assuredly a wide array of parts to play.” Information for this article was taken from

Direct submissions, letters, announcements and inquiries to: The Catalyst 5800 Bay Shore Road Sarasota, Florida 34243 The Catalyst reserves the right to edit all submissions for grammar, space and style. No anonymous submissions will be accepted. Submissions must be received by 12:00 p.m. Friday for consideration in the next issue.


WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst


Pope announces need for campaign finance reform BY HALEY JORDAN Pope Francis recently announced he was in support of campaign finance reform, pointing to an issue that has gained particular importance in recent years, specifically due to a number of Supreme Court rulings dealing in the preservation of free speech in combination with promoting fair and uncorrupted elections. “We must achieve a free sort of election campaign, not financed,” the Pope commented in Pope Crux magazine. “Because many interests come into play in financing of an election campaign and then they ask you to pay back. So, the election campaign should be independent from anyone who may finance it.” A successful campaign relies on communication, which is costly, and with large sums of money come influence and the potential for corruption. Campaign finance laws are intended to halt or at least reduce corruption. Disclosure, contribution limits, and public financing are the main tools for the regulation of campaign finance, and are most often utilized in combination. Disclosure of the amount and origin of contributions and expenditures is required at some level of all candidates, committees and

political parties in all states. They vary in detail and frequency of reporting. Political communications advertisements, including television and radio, that advocate the election or defeat of a candidate and are not coordinated with a candidate’s campaign, are considered independent expenditures. Because these funds are removed from the candidates campaign, the U.S. Supreme Court has held that regardless of the independent expenditure’s source, they do not pose a corruptive threat and therefore cannot be limited. As a result of the rulings, independent spending has witnessed a notable surge in recent years. However, persons and groups, with the exceptions of Indiana, South Carolina and New Mexico, are required to disclose independent expenditures on the basis that the disclosure is valuable electoral information. There is variability in the requirements of the reporting. Some ask for continuous reports in accordance with a predetermined schedule, while some ask for reports on expenditures exceeding a specific dollar amount and some implement a combination of both methods. “In having the kind of campaign

financing system that we have now it means that the people that are being represented are the people with the most money in their pockets,” transfer student Mollie Brendan commented. “It’s the people with the most disposable income opposed to the people who really need to be represented.” The average national limit per election cycle is around $7,500 for gubernatorial candidates, about $3,300 for House candidates and about $3,700 for Senate candidates. Twenty-five states limit corporate contributions to candidates and 21 states ban it outright. The Supreme Court struck down provisions of the 1971 Federal Election Campaign Act meant to limit expenditures in 1976 in Buckley v. Valeo when it declared requiring candidates to abide by spending limits a violation of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, as it would limit free speech. The exception being optional limits that candidates choose to abide by, in addition to agreeing to limit or cease raising private contributions, usually in exchange for various amounts of state funding. This is the preferred method of 24 states. Despite the practicality of

this solution, the utilization of public financing programs is declining, as many states are unable to fully fund candidates. Professor of Political Science and Environmental Studies Frank Alcock said, “Not a lot changed until 2008 when balance on the Supreme Court shifted with the initiation of the Roberts Court [...] They’ve gone where no courts have gone before in terms of almost incapacitating the government with respect to ability to regulate campaign finance.” The Supreme Court’s 2010 decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission led to a huge surge in outside spending in the 2010 and 2012 election cycles. The case, in addition to a few other legal developments, is responsible for the creation of super PACs, which have the capacity to accept unlimited contributions from corporate, union treasuries and individuals. An alternative method of public financing, “clean elections” public financing, allows candidates to fund their campaigns almost completely in

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Hillary Clinton: Secretary of state scandal BY SYDNEY KRULJAC Earlier this month, Hillary Clinton was found using a personal email account to manage government business as secretary of state. In doing so, Clinton violated requirements that officials’ communication be held under government records. During her four-year term, Clinton never created a government email, and instead knowingly used a personal e-mail without being preserved under department servers, which is required by federal law. It was not until January that Clinton’s advisers scanned through thousands of emails and debated on which ones to release to the State Department in order to fulfill the records needed by the federal department. In total, 55,000 pages of emails were handed over to the department. The immense use of her personal email shocked not only citizens of the United States, but also officials of the National Archives and Records Administration. According to the New York Times, what Clinton did was a “serious breach” in security. First-year and political science student Brendan Legel believes Clinton’s actions were uncalled for. “The rule of law is a definition that comes to mind when a politician deliberately tampers with evidence and no punishment is administered,” Legel said. “My dad was a [Certified Public Accountant] and the IRS required them to keep all email and other work documents in hard files for at least seven years after the related events.” Some people, such as spokesperson Nick Merrill, have come

to Clinton’s defense claiming she was in compliance with the rules of the federal law. However, any incoming and outgoing e-mails created by any government official, such as the secretary of state, are always considered government records. In this case, they are supposed to be held by government officials so congressional committees, historians, and members of news media can easily access them. In reaction, Clinton stated she thought it would be easier to just use one email instead of two. “Looking back, it would have been better if I’d simply used a second account and carried a second phone,” Clinton said. Though she has not officially stated whether she will be running for president in 2016, her candidacy has certainly been shaken by scandal. Luckily for Clinton, there have not been any outstanding democratic contenders, making her overall nomination seem safe for right now. Furthermore, it is unlikely that this scandal will have any long-term consequences, considering Election Day is still far in the distance, and most candidates have yet to state if they are even running. If Clinton becomes the Democratic Party nominee, the scandal will be only a distant memory of the past. However, due to the timing of when the emails are supposed to be released, this controversy might linger with Clinton for longer than she wants. It might take several months for the emails to be released, and the story could potentially resurface and stir up trouble for her when the information becomes available to the public. On Friday, March 27, it was

photo courtesy of Getty Images

Hillary Clinton used a private server for her government emails while serving as the Secretary of State.

announced that Clinton deleted all of her emails on her private server. Furthermore, the Benghazi committee is no longer receiving emails from her, her scandal is now open to a thirdparty investigation and Republicans are not going to relent. Most of what the Benghazi committee reported, the public already knows. However, many speculate the drama will continue to unravel about what and when she knew the information over the next year. Unfortunately for Clinton, this might carry on for the next year, meaning it might carry well over into campaigning season. “An official of the United States represents the United States and as such, the representation of us must

be well documented and granted for revision in order to ensure that we as citizens are properly represented,” Legel continued. “By having her own server, she violates this trust which isn’t the best thing to do.” Despite all the commotion, recent polls were conducted through CNN and CBS showing not many supporters have changed their mind about Clinton. According to CBS, two-thirds said that news of the email scandal did not have an impact on their already formed opinions. For fewer than 3 out of 10, opinions of Clinton have worsened. “I think it has been blown out of

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Pique Nique 2015 BY SARA MINEO

The large white circus tent that bloomed out of the dewy grass brightly contrasted with the dark grey skies over New College’s bayfront. Though the scene outside of the tent was dreary, enveloped underneath was a whirlwind of bright, punchy colors, an array of flowers and buckets of crisp white wine. The 32nd annual Pique-nique sur la Baie was held on Friday, March 27 and sold nearly 550 tickets – an increase from previous years. To embrace this year’s “Travel Around the World” theme, guests were given auction “passports” at the door. Silent auction items were displayed in luggage bags and the fashion show, organized by The Met Fashion House

& Day Spa, included clothing said to be inspired by a variety of countries and cultures. Pique-nique is a fundraiser spearheaded by the New College Foundation to raise money for the school. Though the amount of money raised this year is still being counted, $55,000 were raised last year. Up for bidding in the live auction were VIP packages to the Sarasota Film Festival, dinner and a five-hour use of a Rolls Royce, two VIP tickets to the Sarasota Open and two priceless tickets to the Ralph Lauren fashion show at New York Fashion Week which included a four night stay in NYC and airfare for two. The live auction alone raised more than $18,000.

(left page) (top) A woman donning an elaborate hat. (above) A dancer in the Met fashion show. (middle) Lunch from Michael’s on East featured fresh seafood. (bottom) Luxury cars were on display. (right page) (top left) The Pique Nique centerpiece. (top right) Three women strut into the gala. (middle left) Lavender ice cream was served for dessert. (middle right) The reception in College Hall. (bottom) The Met organized a fashion show. All photos Pariesa Young/Catalyst



WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst


Pei dorms approach 50th birthday BY RYAN PAICE Despite the strong feelings for and against the dorm rooms, 50 years ago New College’s very own Pei rooms were opened for use. Their own creator, I.M. Pei – the architect behind the Pyramide du Louvre in Paris and the East Wing of the National Gallery in Washington D.C. – was one of the voices standing against the dorm rooms since he could not complete his wish of having the three courts on the water in the bay. Today, the dorm rooms are both admired by the general public, and scrutinized by many of the students who stay in them. With a unique and modern design, the Pei courts have always garnered plenty of attention. The Pei dorm rooms have been called “magnificent,” and were praised for their focus on the creation of community. I.M. Pei designed the three courts with limited exits – including main exits that lead to Palm Court – hoping to bring students together in their focused traffic flow. The dorm rooms also cracked’s top 100 buildings in the United States as voted by the public, ranked at number 83. After the renovations done in third court last year, there is plenty of excitement for the future of the dorm rooms. “I’m extremely excited about all the renovations we did this summer in Pei III and cannot wait to move forward with renovating the rest of the community over the next few years,” Mark Stier, the associate dean of student life, said. “We will continue to work on renovations of the Pei community,” he continued. “Our hope is that next summer we will explore

photo coutesy of the New College Digital Archives

Students enjoying the Pei courtyards in May 1977,

some additional external renovations similar to Pei III.” “Besides the renovations, I would like to see more permanent common areas developed in Pei I,” Stier said. Pei’s first court is the only court of the three without a communal lounge. “The first court community is basically a smile or a nod when you walk by another community member,” first-year environmental science AOC and first court resident Adrian Lemos said. “Some people know each other from their classes but for the most part everyone stays in their respective rooms.” “The first court rooms are essentially the slums of Pei, and rumor has it that the mold – which does very much exist in plain view in

the rooms – is painted over and not removed at all,” Lemos said. “I’ve encountered personally during the warmer months that my walls become damp and appear to be sweating.” “Overall, the rooms feel dirty no matter how much you clean,” Lemos continued about first court. “It’s housing, but shitty housing at that.” Unlike Pei’s first court, second court has a communal lounge, and the community has flourished. “One thing second court has going for it is community,” first-year physics aoc and second court resident Sarah Cohen said. “Dos court, most court.” However, the community isn’t the only factor when considering the state of the dorm rooms and second court was not without its share of complaints.

“More lighting at night would definitely be appreciated,” Cohen said. “It’s often really nice outside after dark, but we just can’t see!” In addition to the court’s lack of lighting, the individual dorm rooms are not without fault either. “My roof leaks whenever it rains and I came back from winter break to a hole in my ceiling,” Cohen continued. “I still have no idea what happened.” Despite these complaints, Cohen admires the aesthetic of the Pei courts. “I really appreciated the look of the courts in the old footage of New College,” Cohen said. “But we’ve removed a lot of the communal spaces and replaced it with gravel of which I’m not really a fan.” Not everybody likes the look of the courts, however. “I think the cube-shaped buildings are very ugly,” first-year and third court resident Paul Loriston said. “I think there should be artwork on them. That’d be cool.” Despite his dislike of the Pei courts’ aesthetic, Loriston had very few complaints about the newly renovated community. “I like third court as a whole – the sense of quiet community has been really great in my experience,” Loriston said. “The only complaint I have would be the installation of the sun shade tarp,” he continued. “I think they should’ve used that money toward rebuilding the pergola, which I have heard great things about.” Regardless of what anybody thinks of the Pei courts, whether it be the admiration of the general public or the disdain of the student residents, after half a century they continue to stand and look to see more and more improvements through the years.

FrnkIero AndThe Cellabration performs in Orlando BY CAITLYN RALPH The breakup of a band inevitably devastates its fan base. However, when My Chemical Romance (MCR) – arguably one of the biggest punk bands of all time – decided to call it quits two years ago, it was more than just devastation: it was the end of an era. Instead of withdrawing into the shadows of MCR’s fame, the band’s former members have shined in recent months through their own projects, each amassing a devoted following made up of new fans and old. Since the band’s disintegration, former MCR guitarist and backup vocalist Frank Iero created frnkiero andthe cellabration, who performed to a sold out crowd in Orlando’s The Social last Wednesday. A silent theme weaved through the evening: music and mental health. A recent article by Alternative Press’ Web Editor Cassie Whitt, “I Found Hope at a Frank Iero Show,” directly confronted this theme. In the piece, Whitt chronicles her struggle with anxiety and a conversation with Iero, in which he assures that “everybody is a work in progress.” The statement summarizes frnkiero andthe cellabration’s lyrics, which capture the

confusion of being young and then growing up. The lyrics come from a wise perspective, from someone older who has been through it all and who is still, honestly, going through it all. Iero’s music promises that it is okay to be okay and that crazy uncertainty is a product of life’s never-ending transition. Concert attendee and Iero fan Hannah Baird is a testament to the deep impact musicians like Iero have on their fans when music and mental health are interlaced. “As for what his music means to me, I think the simplest way I could put it would be to say that it means everything,” Baird said. “He sings about things I relate to. Depression, self-loathing, thoughts you pretend you don’t have so the people you love don’t worry. I like knowing that I’m not the only one to feel those things. It makes me feel less alone and less scared to keep living.” After MCR, to distract from the severe pain of chronic digestive problems, Iero frequently retreated to play music in his basement. When he realized that the resulting music was some of the most honest and unique material he had ever recorded, frnkiero andthe cellabration formed

and released a debut album, aptly titled “Stomachaches.” “I’d love to do what he does – to know that he can go up on stage and then go home to three kids and a wife is super inspiring,” crowd member and fan Alyshia Christie said. “He creates this vibe, as cheesy as that sounds, that says ‘hey, if I can do this so can you’ and that’s so great of him. He’s just a super great guy who does what he loves and I find that truly inspiring.” Since the members of frnkiero andthe cellabration are each seasoned musicians, they appeared comfortable on stage and played with maturity that only materializes after years of practice in the field. Thrashing and commanding the room with raw energy, the cellabration’s striking talent was hypnotizing. Baird’s favorite part of the set was when Iero cleared a space on the floor to perform “Joyriding” amongst his fans. “He got down in the crowd and sang and just sort of buried himself in us,” she said. “My overall experience could only be described in one word: magical,” Baird said. Iero’s connection to his fans was apparent before the show even began. As the line stretched around the venue,

a vendor came around with a plastic box, collecting letters and presents for Iero, who often posts these offerings on his Instagram in appreciation. “His music shows people that they’re not alone in the world and it’s certainly helped me, and several others, get through rough times,” fan Kaylee Milcoff said after the show. “He’s helped countless people just from making music.” Overall, frnkiero andthe cellabration performed a refreshing, no fluff, little banter set; it was very much “you are here for the music, so here is the music, take it or leave it.” Another refreshing aspect of the evening was the lack of MCR shirts. Driving home, it became clear that the entire frnkiero andthe cellabration show was a testament to the ideas of transition and moving forward, emphasizing the importance of mental health in music and illustrating how the trials and tribulations of musicians can reflect those of their followers. MCR fans should be thrilled for the former members’ solo projects. The success of each is proving that while the band’s peaceful end was the end of an era, it was also the beginning of a new one.


WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst



Introspective rapper Kendrick Lamar is back BY JASMINE RESPESS The introspective rap star Kendrick Lamar is back with what could be understood as his third high exposure album, “To Pimp A Butterfly.” Based on the first single released, “Blacker the Berry,” it could have been assumed that the album would be filled with aggressive race anthems in the vein of Kanye West’s “Yeezus,” which it is in part, but it is also an anecdotal cultural commentary like his 2012 “good kid, m.A.A.d city” album. Lamar is not sugarcoating on “To Pimp a Butterfly.” What is different about his new album is that he is using his visibility to expose political, cultural and social issues while also commenting on the ins and outs of the famous life – but Compton, California, where Lamar spent most of his life, is a constant throughout the album. The opening track has George Clinton crooning out the album title while Lamar goes into a rap commentary about a lost love, angry lust, the music industry and U.S. political and class issues. Lamar does this while simultaneously integrating the image of the metamorphosis of the caterpillar, from the cocoon to the butterfly. The sound of Thundercat adds a wild bass to Lamar’s almost screeching rap. The next track at first reads as superficial due to the use of a monologue from a goldiggeresque woman. Then Lamar goes into the verse and although it is under the guise of another materialistic anthem, to add to the many available in the world of rap and hip-hop today, it is clear he is being sarcastic and making a comment on capitalism, with lines like “I need forty acres and a mule/ Not a forty once and a pitbull.” This track allows for a kind of playful integration into the more serious tracks that are to come on the album. The third track is “King Kunta,” where Lamar literally says he has “got a bone to pick.” In this song, he is expressing that he is aware that he is now a popular artist, which gives him power, but it also makes him a target for jealousy and fake friendships. The next song on the album is the closest to the sound of “good kid m.A.A.d city.” This is due to the retrospective nature of the song. At the end of the first verse of the song, Lamar raps, “I’m trapped inside the ghetto and I ain’t proud to admit it/ Institutionalized, I could still kill me a nigga, so what.” If the songs on “good kid m.A.A.d city,” were meant to be a description of Lamar’s past life in Compton, “Institutionalized” is a look back on how it was then, but more of a confession that his past is always with him. Lamar details how he wishes life could be, but the reality of greed and corrupt culture seeps in. The song ends with an outro performed by Snoop Dogg. The final lines are an ode to Compton and a description of Lamar’s life there. The connection of the old hood and new fame comes full circle by incorporating Snoop Dog’s voice, because there are not many other living embodiments of

legendary California rap that can deliver such poignant verses. “These Walls” is a direct comparison to Frank Ocean, with the lyrics “If these walls could talk they’d tell him to swim good/ No boat, I float better than he would.” Because Ocean had a single titled “Swim Good” it can be assumed Lamar is making a comment on both Ocean’s sexual prowess as well as his music talent. It seems suspect to go after one of the openly non-straight black hip-hop musicians sexuality, but as far as being a crooner goes, Lamar cannot compare to Ocean. Yet in terms of commenting on political and cultural issues, Lamar is the clear leader. Ocean’s “Super Rich Kids” and “Crack Rock” are ear-pleasing songs, but Lamar comes with an anger and ability to call out anyone and anybody he feels could use a reality check. The next song is “u” and it starts out with Lamar screaming, “Loving you is complicated.” Lamar is here to show it to “u” how it is but not explain it for “u.” The song is an accusation set to a dizzying trumpet reminiscent of Miles Davis. Though a listener might think they are hearing a repeat of the opening song, there is a desperation in the delivery and the content of the song is much more intense than the first. Lines in “u” include, “And if I told your secrets/ The world’ll know money can’t stop a suicidal weakness.” Although this song is about “u,” it is about Lamar, it is about me, it is about everyone. The beginning of “Alright” is a direct reference to the lines Oprah Winfrey performs in the 1985 film “The Color Purple.” This song is the weakest on the album. It feels like a lot of leftover lyrics. But the lines, “I remember you was conflicted, misusing your influence/ Sometimes, I did the same” are repeated at this point in the middle of the album, which helps move the production forward. “Do not buy it when critics will inevitably try to sell you that [Lamar’s] work is rough or unbridled, the magic work of a hood savant,” Carvell Wallace wrote for PitchFork. “It is precise and skilled, as perfect in technical execution as it is uninhibited in content […] It is not fake, it is not afraid, and it is not accidental.” With the second interlude – “For Sale?” – the advancement comes quick. It is an ode to The Beatles “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” since it is a kind of dreamy imagination of a love interest, but this song also brings back some lyrics from past songs like the everpresent “I remember you was conflicted/ misusing your influence.” This interlude is faster than the one at the beginning of the album and a bit more romantic, although from this song the listener is immediately thrown in to the track “Momma.” “Momma” is a fast description of all the things Lamar has learned in his life, and for a while it reads like he is being arrogant or braggadocios, but he ends his second verse with the confession that he does not know anymore than he did the day he left home, something he only realizes by coming back and seeing

Photo courtesy of Kim Metso

Kendrick Lamar’s new album has sold over 355,000 copies to date.

familiar sights, feeling old feelings, and being welcomed home. “Hood Politics” is the most intense commentary on the album. There are multiple direct references to politics, the president, the LAPD and Congress. Lamar also comments on the media as being corrupt. “How much does a dollar cost” is a continuation of “Hood Politics,” because of a focus on serious issues, such as capitalism, oppression and suffering, but this song is more of an individual story and carries the weight of anecdote that has become a part of Lamar’s legacy. “Complexion (A Zulu Love)” is a rap about being blind to color. This is surprising due to the weight Lamar puts into color in his other songs, and as far as experiences in his songs go, they are most commonly matched with being black or experiencing blackness. “Complexion” is less an ode to color blindness as a realistic possibility, but more as a cultural goal. Although “The Blacker the Berry” was toward the end of the album it was the first single that was released. Lines such as, “How can I tell you I’m making a killin’? You made me a killer, emancipation of a real nigga,” prepare the listener for what “To Pimp a Butterfly” was going to be. “You ain’t gotta Lie (Momma Said)” is a song that gives the listener a break from the hard beats, if not in content at least in flow. There is a “Gin and Juice” kind of smoothness to the song that allows the listener to blank out a bit and relax. “I” similarly is at least more digestible than the other more intense songs. There is a live performance aspect to the song that makes it very easy to sing along to. The “I love myself” hook is classic hip-hop hubris, but Lamar backs it up with a rap so fast and

consistent that if you follow it the fist time you deserve a boost of confidence. Although Lamar is quick to clarify that “Everybody lacks confidence.” The last song on the album is different from “I,” since Lamar is selfconscious and hoping he can follow in the feet of great rights activists such as Mandela. The similar “Mortal Man” ends with a created conversation with Lamar and 2pac. It could be cliché, but it feels genuine. “By my faith in God, by my faith in the game, and by my faith in all good things come to those that stay true.” Carefully selected lines such as this make it clear that Lamar is not going for effect alone, the lines are truly emotional. The Verdict: This album is a cycle, as the title suggests, it is caterpillar, cocoon and butterfly. Lamar first consumes culture, politics and references like a hungry caterpillar, then lets the ideas resonate and be protected within his mind, then, when the ideas are ready to be released, he bursts out of the cocoon and shows his work to the world. As stated previously, this is not a smooth listen like “good kid, m.A.A.d city” and it is not just random commentary mixed with cool kid rap. “To Pimp a Butterfly” is a deliberate and unsettling compilation meant to be absorbed as an entity.



WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst

Wall previews

Pool cleanliness CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3 and you’ve got that many people there who are shedding bacteria, it essentially turns into a giant petri dish.” There are currently 10 times more bacteria cells in the human body than there are human cells. The bacteria can exist inside the body, waiting to be expelled and transferred, or can already exist in colonies on the skin. Once the pH balance has been thrown off, it can take until the next day for the balance to be restored in the hot tub. Part of the hygiene problem can be explained by the influx of those who are now frequenting the pool and hot tub more often. “No one would come here before,” Farley said. The previous smaller number of visitors meant that there was less demand to clean. Any issues with the cleanliness of the water could also be chalked up to the staff adjusting to a larger amount of visitors. “They hadn’t cleaned [the pool and hot tub] out because not very many people were using the pool,” secondyear and Head Lifeguard Evan Murphy said. “It was that time of the year when leaves were just falling in.” Murphy was the one who suggested that it might have been an appropriate time to clean the leaves out of the pool. Although not directly responsible for manually cleaning the pool, one of the regular duties of the lifeguards includes cleaning the pool deck and assigning areas to sweep when there is pollen at the bottom of the pool floor. However, lifeguards are responsible for

the maintenance of the pool and the hot tub while on duty. “If I see leaves in the hot tub, I’ll go in there with a scoop or something and get it all out,” Murphy said. There is no strict cleaning schedule for the pool or hot tub. Instead, they are cleaned when the Fitness Center staff deems it to be the appropriate time. Jordan said that the pool is usually cleaned every week. Yet, he also stated that the hot tub is cleaned “as needed.” “For the most part there is no set amount of cleaning, just give or take based on what time of the year and what it looks like,” Murphy said. “Pool cleaning is an interesting thing, it just depends what you’re talking about. When we see something or we hear a complaint or something like that, we bring it up and pass it along to Colin [Jordan] who ultimately is in charge of taking care of stuff like that.” There is more than one cleaning process that both the hot tub and pool undergo. One of these processes involves the use of a vacuum to collect leaves that have fallen to the bottom of the pool. Another more aggressive approach involves the use of chemicals to kill bacteria. The chemicals used in the hot tub and pool include acid to balance the pH level, and chlorine as a disinfectant. Another possible explanation for concerns over the cleanliness of the pool and hot tub could be due to a recent clog that kept the staff from being able to vacuum the area. “We had some sort of clog in the vacuum system,” Jordan said. “And we weren’t able to vacuum





provides some kind of benefit in the long run, even if not here at New College.” Murry noted that while physical hazing is not apparent on campus, psychological hazing, which usually is reported as harassment, is much more common. He credits this to the small size of the college. “I will say on our campus a lot of that physical activity stuff has become more and more unacceptable in the community,” Murry said. “There’s a lot of things people put out like ‘this idea is X, and if you like that, or agree with that, we can’t socialize with you.’ That’s really a form of hazing. That’s saying we expect a certain type of behavior out of you and if you don’t go along with that kind of behavior, then you can’t be a part of the group… the worst thing you can be called on this campus sometimes is ‘normal’ or ‘average.’ There’s this way that we accept everybody as long as you fit into what we find acceptable. And some of that, at a bigger school, it might not be as big a deal, but to be isolated on a smaller campus, especially early on, is hard.” The course may be available online to all interested students around orientation week.

proportion,” thesis student Jim Dickey said. “It’s unfortunate that this will likely have a negative impact on her campaign.” Contrarily, Clinton’s favorability ratings were not as strong according to CBS. Only 26 percent had a positive view of Clinton, and 37 percent had a negative one. This is a 12-point drop from fall of 2013 and a 31-point drop from her favorable 57 percent rating as secretary of state. “It’ll be one of the many spectacles that political science interested students like myself will enjoy reading about because I’m 70 percent sure that she will ultimately win this next election and I want to see how she does it,” Legel concluded. Clearly there are months separating Clinton and Election Day, but the email scandal is far from finished and will continue to be scrutinized by many. Fortunately for Clinton, it appears this debacle will in fact fizzle out. Information taken from, usnews. com, and

for a couple weeks.” An excess of leaves from the oak trees that surround the pool and hot tub area caused the clog. “We can have [the trees] trimmed, but have been historically restricted from trimming them back very far,” Jordan said. “The result is that when the trees shed their leaves, many go into the pool and cause a problem for a while keeping up with cleaning. We also get a lot of pollen on the water at certain times of the year. It just so happened that this year they clogged the vacuum system, and so the problem was compounded.” When asked whether leaks and clogs are a common problem, Jordan explained that this is an inevitable reality when dealing with such a small campus and limited staff. “This is the headache and expense that goes along with having a big pool in a small campus,” Jordan said. “[The hot tub] is a very dynamic body of water because it’s small and it’s warm and so you run into that kind of thing quite a bit. The pool is more stable but the pool is large and when you run into problems with it, usually it’s something like this.” Jordan stated there is a greater need for students to voice their opinions about the pool and hot tub. “If there are complaints, I think the tendency is kind of to complain to one another,” Jordan said. “The proper person to complain to would be me. If I don’t know about something, I can’t take care of it.” Information for this article was taken from


BY GIULIA HEYWARD Friday, April 3: Sexiest Man Wall - Casey Dodge Unlike typical walls, Sexiest Man Wall will feature a performance component in which competitors will showcase their talents to receive the title of Sexiest Man. Despite the title, any student, regardless of gender identity, is eligible to compete. “Expect to have a good time at a fun party where at least someone you know will do something on stage you will remember for the rest of your New College career,” thesis student and Wall host Casey Dodge said. The Wall is a long-standing tradition. “This Wall has been an integral part of the New College experience since first year.” Saturday, April 4: Comedy Friends Wall - Fran Tignor Comedy Friends Wall is hosted by the entirety of the Comedy Friends Improv Comedy Team consisting of Bradley Baker, Francesca Tignor, Amy Bernard, Logan Schulman, Benjamin Kerns, James VonHollen, Caterina Duffy, Joseph Estevez, Albert Lee, Chandler Honaman, Eli Cassel, Sam Hoar, Qake Cooley, Dylan Gygax and Zach Conn. Wall co-host Francesca Tignor promises that attendees should expect some members of troll royalty, a single Rubix cube, and dancing until dreams are fulfilled. “There haven’t been any [Comedy Friends walls] yet,” Tignor said.

Campaign finance CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 public funds, so long as they abide by strict spending limits and do not receive any additional funds from private sources. “Clean clections” public financing has been implemented in Arizona, Maine, Vermont and Connecticut for gubernatorial candidates, and for legislative candidates in Arizona and Maine. However helpful the Roberts Court has been in halting or at the very least limiting corruption via funding, the court defines monetarybased corruption strictly as the direct and provable transfer of funds, and therefore neglects more subtle forms of abuse. “Transparency has gone way down and I think it has led to a world in which there’s much less political competition,” Alcock commented. “The barriers to actually running for office, you have to raise huge amounts of money, and this is happening in a world where we have gerrymandering and closed primaries which then reduce the number of political districts that are truly competitive, so now the

PACs can channel obscene amounts of money into the very few areas that there are competitive strives. We’re talking hundreds of thousands for even a congressional election – millions of dollars to run for the Senate so we’re in a place that I think is very bizarre and troubling.” Alcock added, “In terms of what can be done about it, there’s a movement to amend the federal constitution which is very difficult but I’m supportive of some of those ideas, and I think there’s things that states can do at the level of trying to increase transparency that hasn’t been ruled completely out of bounds by the Supreme Court. But Congress and states, their hands have largely been tied by the Supreme Court.” Information for this article was taken from,,, www.newsworks. org,, and www.


WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst



Cups O’ ‘Dolphin Lover’ included in 2015 SRQ Joy bringing Film Festival lineup jiggles and java to the masses BY (NOT JENNIFER) LOPEZ

BY JASMINE RES-P-E-C-T Have you ever thought that your cup of coffee was not just sexy enough. The answer has come in the form of the Bradenton pop up coffee drive thru Cups O’ Joy! Bikinis, baristas, brews, galore. Located at 6295 14th St W, Bradenton, FL 34207, with a slightly above average rating of 85% on Urbanspoon, and a mere one $ sign as it’s price range Cups O’ Joy is in steep competition with the new drive-thru Starbucks and American’s supposed “life blood” Dunkin Donuts, who are not only mainstays but major national coffee brands. Starbucks has been asking its customers to think about race, while they indulge in capitalism by the espresso shot and sip on frivolous fraps, while Dunkin Donuts has been trying to appeal to the nature of addiction as well as patriotism more directly with the slogan “America runs on Dunkin.” A slogan very similar to O.T. Genasis “CoCo.” or “I’m Proud to be an American,” or even the term Wu-Tang term “cash rules everything around me.” Cups O’ Joy is a simple shack on the road, bringing jiggles and java to the masses. Is this really the true agent of corruption, or is it the tasteful white cup with the green letters in the hands of every business man and basic girl that is to blame?

SELLING: Two fifty gallon barrels of lube. Origins unknown, someone wrote ‘for wall’ on the side. Definitely not stolen. Can be used for any number of purposes, including sexual, practical, or slip n slide. If interested, please contact Wendy at 941-739-5823. BUYING: Material for voodoo dolls. Also seeking instructions on how to make voodoo dolls. No nefarious purpose intended. Please do not inquire about their intended purposes. Meet me at the swings at midnight with a lock of your hair.

The full-length documentary “Dolphin Lover,” which details NCF alum Malcolm Brenner’s sexual relationship with a dolphin, was included in the 17th annual Sarasota Film Festival’s lineup, it was announced Monday. Brenner’s affair with Dolly, a bottlenose dolphin, started in the 1970s when the pair met at the now defunct Floridaland theme park. It was definitely a summer fling to write home about, in fact, Brenner had already penned an autobiographical novel – “Wet Goddess” – before he was approached by filmmakers Kareem Tabsch and Joey Daoud. "I sensed that they took me seriously. However, what really convinced me was when Kareem said, ‘I believe you were in love with her,’” Brenner told the Miami New Times. Yolaf Minsen, one of the judges

for this year’s festival, was immediately drawn to the visceral, if unconventional, romance. “We’re thrilled to be able to showcase a local story,” Minsen said, adding that the documentary fit perfectly with this year’s theme: “One festival, infinite possibilities.” Although there is no explicit sexually-oriented nudity, the film was rated NC-17 after much deliberation. A heated faction of the judges prevailed, stating that the depiction of bestiality – albeit toned down in the film – was not only aberrational, but could also prove particularly disturbing for parents “not yet ready to have that conversation with their young children.” For obvious reasons, Dolly was unavailable for comment. The Sarasota Film Festival will run April 10-19. Student tickets are on sale for $10 at the Regal Cinemas Hollywood 20 box office or online at

courtesy of Coffee and Celluloid Productions

Alum Malcolm Brenner is now famous for pursuing a sexual and romantic relationship with a dolphin in the 1970s.

New College begins plans for sister campus in Lakewood Ranch

Photo courtesy of whoever’s in charge of this

An image of the plans for a Newer College in Lakewood Ranch. In addition to building their own dorms, students will also learn to play golf and polo.

BY PARSLEY OLD With a huge incoming class, New College has opted to expand its horizons in the coming years. A longstanding project of the Board of Governors (BOG), the new campus in Lakewood Ranch – dubbed Newer College – will boast facilities to house more than a thousand students and only one classroom, to foster a unique new learning experience. The dorms on the new campus will be modeled after the Pei courts, down to every detail. In order to preserve their authenticity, the recent third court renovations will be omitted and a plaque

outside each building will be engraved with I.M. Pei’s personal dissatisfaction and renunciation of the designs. Statecontracted plumbers were stumped as to how they could purposely ruin the plumbing of every unit. Due to a large lack of funds (the sister campus has a price tag of $50 million while New College’s current bank account balance resembles that of a college student), labor costs will be diverted by offering a summer Independent Study Project (ISP) in construction prior to the academic year. The ISP will be taught by the single general contractor the school kept on retainer, Sam Blunder.

“I’ve never really taught anyone anything before, but it will be nice to have some help on the scaffolding,” Blunder said. Before opening Blunder Contracting, LLC, Blunder says he “helped out with a few Habitat for Humanity projects.” Admitted students are excited to get started. “While construction isn’t something I planned to study in college – I want to AOC in linguistic anthropology – I really think this ISP will round out my liberal arts education,” prospective first-year Canary Woodpecker said. “I am looking forward to having the full New College experience.”


WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2015 | @ncfcatalyst



There and back again: a trip to the wizarding world BY SARA MINEO

(top left) Unedited pic of Dracula’s castle. (bottom left) Hordes of people wait in line to get onto some ride that probably wasn’t worth the wait. (top right) People being really excited about Pothead. (middle right) The food was really appealing. It looked like it came right out of the movie. (bottom right) No caption needed. all photos Sara Mineo/Catalyst