Becoming a Wise Well Woman How to Baby Step Your Way to More Wisdom, Well-Being and Wealth In Your Life By Nanette Saylor
Becoming a Wise Well Woman: How to Baby Step Your Way to Wisdom, Well-Being and Wealth
Step 1: Commit to Change Step 2: Breathe Step 3: Choose Each Day Step 4: Create Space & Quiet the Noise Step 5: Tune in to Your Intuition Step 6: Identify Your Needs Step 7: Transform Your Fear Step 8: Partner for Support Step 9: Practice Self-Care Step 10: Picture Your New Life Step 11: Walk Your True Path & Share Your Gifts Step 12: Give Thanks & Celebrate!
*Wise Well Women, Inc. Special Report Copyright 2009.
What is a Wise Well Woman? A wise, well woman is one who presents her authentic self to the world each and every day, with joy and pride, and encourages others to do the same. She shares her truth with courage, openly and honestly. With passion, the wise, well woman lives life on life’s terms. She chooses each moment to step bravely in the direction of her higher purpose. The wise, well woman extends love to all. She is guided by a deep faith in the God of her choosing, and she carries a message of hope to all those in need.
And why should you want to become one? Becoming a Wise Well Woman is a journey—a life’s journey— YOUR life’s journey. It is a journey of creative recovery and self-discovery. It is a journey away from a life riddled with chaos, anxiety, lack and stress to a life that is calm, peaceful and serene, filled with love, faith, hope and abundance. It’s about re-committing to make yourself a priority, to getting to know yourself again and about becoming the unique, authentic woman that you know you can be. It’s about re-connecting to your creative energy and integrating that flow into your daily life so that you are free to courageously explore all possibilities.
It’s about re-discovering your dreams, renewing your strength and re-igniting your passion for life. It’s about finding your inner wisdom, adopting a practice of self-care and claiming your worth, so that you can share your gifts with the universe and receive its rewards in return.
Why Baby Steps? My personal journey has been full of stops and starts and lots of travelling in circles. In hindsight, I know that fear and chronic “busyness” paralyzed me for months, sometimes years. I pretended like I was taking action but I really was never willing to do the “hard work” of recovery and true self-discovery. And I had a “life” that seemed to always get in the way. I tried all kinds of programs. I went to seminar after seminar. I read lots of books. Each time I’d get energized and try to implement everything at once. But I couldn’t integrate it, I was overwhelmed enough already! My attempts would last less than a week. I’d get distracted, frustrated and of course, beat myself up because “I’d never be able to get it right”. Knowing I had to do something and convinced there was a way I could make this work, I finally began by to make just one little change as a test. I couldn’t do the whole thing, but maybe I could do part— anything to make me feel better. I could commit to one change, right? Truth be told, I’d been using this theory with my employees in hotels for years. In the service business of hospitality, where we were always getting sidetracked by guest related “emergencies”, I had resorted to encouraging my staff by recognizing “baby steps” toward project goals. And it kept our teams from getting discouraged when we couldn’t seem to accomplish that BIG goal. Because we were often taking steps backwards, any step forward, even a “baby step” was a success. And it worked! I now know that science tells us that to create a habit or to change a behavior or a mindset we need to consistently apply ourselves each and every day for at least 21 days. You see those “30 day challenges” all the time, right?
Well, one baby step at a time my life started to change. And as my confidence grew, I added another step until finally, my personal selfcare practice was born. It’s that practice I share with you now-- the “Wise Well Woman’s Way”. It’s that practice that is making it possible for me to create my life and my business the way I dream it can be. My coach and mentor, Heather Dominick, reminds me to “Be in my Practice so I can be in my Purpose”. It’s that simple. Take one baby step each day and the rest will evolve as it should. Practice, take a baby step, practice, take a baby step, and practice some more, just a little bit each day. It is my sincere desire that by reading this report you will begin YOUR journey, to take the “baby steps” toward walking your true path, and to establish a self-care practice that consistently connects you to your inner guidance, your “Wise Well Woman”. Simply by allowing yourself to just “be” and accepting you as you truly are, you will find your way to a joy-filled life full of wisdom, well-being and wealth. In the spirit of wisdom, wellness and prosperity-
P.S. I could never have done this without the support of some courageous women and powerful coaches, who had laid their paths before me. Only you can change your life, but if you feel yourself called by this message, and you are ready to take those first baby steps with the help of a gentle guide like me, reach out to me via email at email@example.com. I would be honored to connect with you and to explore how I might support you.
P.P.S. You really don’t have to do this alone. ☺
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” - Edward Everett Hale
Baby Step #1: Commit to Change Are you ready to lead a life that is different than the one you are leading now? What will it take for you to stop doing what you’re doing and start living the life of your dreams? Most will agree, it takes you engaging your energy and committing to change. You can’t get different results doing the things you’ve always done, right? You have to make changes and you have to commit to making those changes. Simple. The first baby step is simply to acknowledge that change is necessary to achieve an altered result. Right here, right now, commit to changing your behaviors, habits, and routines. Not all at once—just one baby step at a time. Say it out loud: “I commit to change”. Write it on a piece of paper and post it somewhere you can see it each day as a reminder. Announce to the world that you are ready to “be the change”! Believe it. You can do it!
Baby Step #2: Breathe As my feet touch the floor, stepping out of my bed, I stop for a minute and take a deep breathe in, and then let it out slowly. Three times, the power of three… And then throughout the day— I remember to breathe, consciously, deeply—nourishing myself. Become aware of your tendency to take shallow, quick breathes born out of tension and anxiety and choose to breathe differently, deeply. Take a breath that expands your chest. Feel your breath fill your lungs, pushing your stomach outward. You’ll begin to notice the difference in your energy almost immediately. Notice how tensely you are holding your body during the course of the day. Relax. Take a deep breathe in…and let it out…release the tension with those deep, connected breaths. Instantly, you are transformed into a different state of being.
“Practicing regular, mindful breathing can be calming and energizing, and can even help with stress-related health problems, ranging from panic attacks to digestive disorders.” -- Dr. Andrew Weil, integrative medical physician. Stick to this daily, and overall you will be more relaxed.
Baby Step #3: Choose Each Day “Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you”. – Richard Bach. Choose each day to be whatever you want it to be. Whether you know it now or not, you are in control of your state of being. Take charge, not of things, but of your feelings, and choose to feel good about yourself and where you are in your life. I’ll admit, this does take practice, but you can do it! In her book, “Happy for No Reason”, author Marci Shimoff reminds us that we create happiness from the inside out. We can choose to be in a state of happiness or not, just by claiming that state of being. Say it out loud – “Today I will be happy and my day will be effortless.” Can you feel it? Even if you don’t yet believe it, I challenge you to “fake it ‘til you make it”, and you will surprise yourself. Why? Because you can’t say anything negative when you declare something this powerful out loud! You can’t possible say “Today my day will be one disaster after another”, right? Tony Schwartz and Jim Lehr wrote, in The Power of Full Engagement, that to change habits, we should use positive rituals. Add a nightly “success” entry to your journaling ritual if journaling is something you choose to do. Otherwise, just go over your successes in your mind before the end of the day. This will help set the tone for the next day, and the day after that.
Baby Step #4: Create Space & Quiet the Noise “The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” – Baba Ram Dass In order for you to grow, you must clear space for your wisdom to flourish. In your physical world and in your mind, “quieting the noise” is the critical baby step #4. Focus some energy on removing anything that no longer serves you. Those clothes you haven’t worn in years…give them to Goodwill and make space in your
closet. That self-help book from two years ago that you never read…give it to someone who you know will appreciate it, and make room for new support. Investigate the ancient art of FengShui, if you’re interested, to apply those principals in your physical environment. If FengShui doesn’t call to you, just start eliminating the clutter—one magazine or piece of mail at a time. Next, pick one thing to eliminate, to ease up your scheduled responsibilities. Give yourself permission to say “No” to something. You are not required to say “Yes” to everything just because you want to “help”. In the meantime, begin a daily practice of eliminating one thing, either to giveaway or take to a favorite charity, which is not required in your daily life. And while you’re doing that, turn off the radio and the TV once in a while. Find a place, maybe its outside, to sit in silence for just a minute each day. Ask your spouse/partner to watch the kids for just 5 minutes. In the stillness you’ll be surprised by what you hear. Even if the only time you have alone is while you’re showering in the morning or evening, turn your attention to the quiet of the water running and try to tune out anything else. Can you feel a new sense of calm?
Baby Step #5: Tune In to Your Intuition “When you really listen to yourself, you can heal yourself.”- Ceanne Derohan I believe that each of us has a voice, a quiet inner wisdom that speaks to us regularly. This voice is our inner guidance – the barometer that keeps us aligned with our authentic self. The trouble is that most of us aren’t listening. In Step #4, quieting the noise and creating space for new energy to flourish is necessary so that you can begin to teach yourself to hear your own voice, to tap into the signals in your body and to sense shifts in your energy. No amount of seminars or book learning can take the place of tuning in to your own intuition. You know what I mean, don’t you? You’ve had that sense, that knowing sometimes, right? That weird feeling that you’ve been here before, that someone’s in danger or that you just had to do something now? The next time that happens to you, stop and pay attention. Don’t try to figure it out, just pay attention. What do you feel? What happened that triggered that sensation? Just make a mental note—observe it as if you were an outsider looking in. Now that you can recognize your voice, the next step is to learn to enhance your awareness. Some call it “meditation”, some call it “going inside”, and others will lead you through “guided visualizations”. For a quick introduction to meditation, my friend Stacey Joiner, author of “You Deserve the Royal Treatment”, offers a free 2 minute meditation download at her website. Two minutes is all it takes to connect to a moment of peace. Go ahead, you deserve it!
When you find a few free moments, explore some of the many meditations available online at no charge. See which resonates with you. Practice releasing your need to keep your mind busy—let it go and relax. With time, your true voice will be clearer and stronger. By staying connected to your voice of inner wisdom you will find your personal power and your personal path, your own “Wise Well Woman’s Way”. “The most important things ever said to us are said by our inner selves.” – Adelaide Bry, writer.
Baby Step #6: Identify Your Needs Now that the voice of your inner wisdom is coming through loud and clear, you can begin to clarify what you need to begin to make a life of your dreams possible. Usually this means first identifying what you don’t need and discarding it. When you ask yourself, what is in my way or what is making it impossible for me to achieve my dreams, what do you hear as the response? Can you eliminate that from your life? Or change it somehow? Baby step #6 is one of the hardest, because it requires you to begin to get really honest with yourself. It doesn’t take a lot of time or money or intellect, but it does take personal integrity and a willingness to take a hard look at where you are and where you want to go. Remember, focus on what YOU can change, what YOU can do, and identify the things that YOU control. You need to establish a system and prioritize your life responsibilities. But in the meantime, start to channel some focused energy on those areas that your inner wisdom draws your attention to. Do you miss dancing, drawing or singing? Try to remember those things that have brought you joy in the past. Re-connect to doing at least one of those things. And keep your overall focus on what needs to be done. Simple. Ask yourself this question: If you could only do one thing today, what would that be? Focus on what is your priority needs for yourself, and what are you doing for others? I understand that you have responsibility for others – children, spouse, family members— so what you’re focused on here is making conscious choices to serve those people, AND to provide some time to service your needs. Over time, your days will become less stressful, as you prioritize your needs over others with greater frequency.
Baby Step #7: Transform Your Fear “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson
Fear is something we all experience, especially on our journey toward becoming an authentic, Wise Well Woman. Claiming our unique essence, communicating boldly and with honesty, and stepping up to reach for our dreams can really push us beyond our comfort zone and be really, really scary. One day, I finally acknowledged that I am scared ALL THE TIME! I want to run and hide often. I’m embarrassed—me, this powerful management type— wondering what’s wrong with me that I’m still so frightened after all the selfdevelopment work that I’ve done. The reality is that we will never stop experiencing fear, but the secret to being able to move forward, lies in transforming that fear into energy. I ask myself, how can I move through my fears, honestly, so they don’t stop me, paralyze me and keep me from growing? The answer is: transform your fears by admitting them, expressing them, and owning them! Claim the power of the fears and transform it into energy that propels you forward, beyond the limitations that the fears enhance. For me, the true solution came when one day, working with my Spiritual Divorce coach, Rochelle Schwartz, I was guided in a visualization to picture my fears…and the vision I had was of the gremlin from the movie “Gremlins”…not the playful, fun critter, but the white streaked hair, evil, scary one, that no one wanted to love. I call him “Fearsome Freddie”. And suddenly, I was laughing! Laughing out loud, because I had “seen” my fear and it was a cartoon character! From that day forward, I’ve never looked at my fears the same again. What do your fears look like? If you drew a picture, what would you see? My fears, and yours, are nothing more than our minds creating a long list of the “you can’t do it’s” and the “you’re not good enough’s”. And most of the time, THEY AREN’T REAL! We’ve made them up. So the next time you’re afraid, remember “Fearsome Freddie” and smile. He can’t really hurt you, can he?
Baby Step #8: Partner for Support “No man can become a permanent success without taking others along with him.” --Napoleon Hill, author, “Think and Grow Rich” Connect to the power of partnership. Find a support system that works for you. This can be as simple as reaching out to a trusted friend. Tell that friend what you are hoping to change in your life and ask him/her to be involved as your support when/if you need it. Share your vulnerabilities. Ask for help when you need it.
Find a 12 step program if that is relevant to your needs. I am certain that it took me many years longer than it could have to find my true path because I was so sure that I had to go it alone. Once I realized that I needed support to thrive, and I needed to allow those around me to help, I began to achieve amazing things. “The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. No two minds ever come together without a third invisible force, which may be likened to a “third mind.” When a group of individual minds are coordinated and function in harmony, the increased energy created through that alliance becomes available to every individual in the group. “-- Napoleon Hill
Baby Step #9: Practice Self-Care "Find rituals that help you believe that peace is yours, rituals that connect you to the Divine in the universe. Ask for peace. Ask in a way that works for you." -- Melody Beattie The Wise Well Woman establishes a practice of self-care to support her ongoing self development and growth. Nourishing your body with healthy food, resting with ease, expressing your thoughts and feelings and exercising regularly are all parts of living a life that is peaceful. Focus some energy on establishing habits that include honoring your physical self and its maintenance and on connecting to your inner wisdom. Practice a few options and find one or two to start that feel right and work for you. This is YOUR self-care practice. What works for me, may not feel right to you. Try different things. Remember, though, your goal is to establish habits, so resist the temptation to jump back and forth too frequently. Polling the amazing women I am privileged to know and to work with, here are the Top 10 self-care rituals for you to choose from: Meditation/Prayer Journaling/Scripting Exercise Eating Well Affirmative Reading Group Support Mentor/Coach Support Resting/Sleeping Well Maintaining a nurturing environment Participating in a creative process (painting, singing, writing, cooking, playing an instrument)
Where is your focus today? If you direct some energy to one of these areas, which can you choose that you know would have the greatest impact on your day to day life? Which is the most important to you today? And which do you believe should be the most important to you as a “Wise Well Woman”? Don’t try to adjust everything at once. Remember, take baby steps. Adopt on new area of focus for 30 days so that it will become part of your routine. Then focus on another. One baby step at a time. Stick to it—practice over time will create a lifestyle that is nurturing rather than depleting and amazing discoveries will unfold.
Baby Step #10: Picture Your New Life “I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream.” – Vincent Van Gogh Exploring dreams and desires has been the most amazing part of the journey for me. Prior to embracing my self-care practice, I could never qualify or quantify my dreams and desires. I know now that I never gave myself permission to want something for myself as a priority over others, and I was certain that somehow I didn’t deserve to achieve my dreams anyway. Over the past three years, using Dream Boards, Vision Boards, Scripting and Journaling, I have painted a picture of the life I want to live. Each time I reach for my journal, or complete another vision board, I get clearer and clearer about who I am meant to be in the world, what I am here to do, who I am meant to serve and how I am destined to do it. By putting my vision on paper, either in images or in words, I open up all possibilities and allow myself to play BIG, dream BIG, and stretch my imagination beyond anything I’ve known before. You can, too! Start by simply writing down what your ideal day would be like. From the moment you wake, to the moment you lay your head down for the night, describe in detail what your perfect day will be. Now give yourself permission to want all of your days to be just like that AND allow yourself to feel like it’s OK to want something just for you. Following the creation of my first vision board, designed around my ideal life, I was “released” from my unfulfilling job. Within weeks I manifested the first of two dream trips to Hawaii with my life partner, Bill, and more time to connect to all the things that bring me joy. With the creation of my second vision board, I channeled more energy toward growing my young business and to gaining clarity around my professional mission and that evolution.
My third board brought me to an understanding of my need to focus on the areas of abundance and prosperity in my life and toward gaining clarity around my “money story”. And in the coming weeks, I will facilitate a workshop where, supported by and supporting other wonderful women, I will explore my vision for the coming year and create amazing successes in 2010. So I’ll share a few resources with you now. The best summary I’ve seen for assistance with “How to Create a Vision Board” comes from Christine Kane, at www.christinekane.com. Look for the post about Vision Boards on her blog, under favorite articles. For quick tips on journaling, from the women I’m sure is the best expert out there, Sandy Grason, author of “Journalution”, visit www.sandygrason.com. Heather Dominick, creator of the EnergyRich® Entrepreneur Success System, says this about Scripting: Literally begin by writing out what you would like your day, or a prospect meeting, or a project to BE and FEEL like (focusing on the feelings you want to feel in each situation, project, and opportunity). Think of it like writing a script or a play or a movie, but, you are the lead character and your day is the backdrop! Then start looking for the positive evidences that are EVERYWHERE for you–such as a great meal that delights you, people that support you, a beautiful sunset, a parking spot that just shows up, people who hold your vision for you, and so many other examples. Look and feel around in your day and FIND things that are working, feel good, make you happy, jazz you, energize you, or work out for you! Start to notice the things that are working and you will start activating that higher energy more and more. When you find yourself feeling less than great, don’t get down on yourself. Just find the best thought, feeling, or action in that MOMENT, and hold the intention that you are working your way up the energetic ladder. Be kind to yourself, always! This is one of the GOLDEN KEYS to having all the things you say that you want. The energetical work is yours and yours alone to change for the better– no one else can do that for you, and this is one of the most powerful and empowering steps you can ever take toward moving your business and your life forward.
For more information about Heather and her system of partnering the “energetical with the practical” visit www.energyrichcoach.com.
Baby Step #11: Walk a True Path & Share Your Gifts “You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours.” – Florida Scott-Maxwell Along the way, your journey will begin to wear a path, YOUR path. When you take Baby Steps, you will begin to tap into your true power and your true wisdom faster than you ever thought possible. Each day you will be presented with forks in the road. Apply what you have begun to learn about yourself and you will be walking your true path. Listen to the voice of your Inner Wisdom. When you’re not sure, ask for guidance from your Higher Power. Reach out to those who support you. With earlier steps you have begun to eliminate from your life those thoughts and actions, those patterns that no longer serve you. Using your growing Inner Wisdom as your compass, you are already walking your true path, one baby step at a time. Where are you going? Simply, to the next step. And the next, and the next. One of my favorite quotes is “Pray, then move your feet.” Once you have painted the picture of what you want, and you have faith that you can and will achieve it, then the next steps must include what I love to call “Inspired Action”. Each and every day, choose to take specific action toward that dream. Sadly, many people embrace Baby Steps #4 and #5 completely, spending much of their time meditating or praying, finding peace, and they wonder why their lives aren’t changing. Your Inner Wisdom will point you in the direction of Walking Your True Path, but in order to achieve your dreams you have to take Inspired Action. I believe my life is unfolding exactly as it should within a Divine master plan. When I listen, when I feel, when I tap into that Universal energy, my God does show me the way. I believe that we are all given a gift that is ours to share with the world, however big or small your world may be. And when we take these baby steps consistently, confidently, courageously, we begin to see clearly that which our own light is. I believe my light shines brighter every day that I choose to walk my true path. I have been given a chance to tell my story so that others will be drawn to this message of hope, and together, one baby step at a time, we will change the world.
Baby Step #12: Give Thanks and Celebrate! When was the last time you gave yourself credit for an accomplishment without adding a little jab in at the end? Your self-talk sounds something like this, doesn’t it? “Wow, I finally got that project done, and it looks pretty good. BUT, if I’d only focused a little more it would have been great. Next time, I’ll be sure to work harder to get it right.” Sound familiar? Why is it that we can’t even stay with the thought of celebration for a minute, without criticizing ourselves? Well it’s time to re-write the script! It’s time to give thanks and celebrate! Giving thanks is just that— a few quick words each day, offered up to Spirit, Source, Universe, Higher Power, or the God of your choosing as simply as, “I give thanks for the love in my life today, the support of my friends and the abundant sunshine”. Period. That’s it. My celebration can simply be sharing my accomplishment with supporters in a quick email or phone call. “Just wanted to share my success with you. Today I _________________”. Celebration doesn’t have to be a party, or food, or a prize or an expensive gift. Use your senses to make the ritual rich. One woman I read about painted and bedazzled a smooth rock she holds that reads “You ROCK!” Honor yourself by making your favorite bedtime tea or lighting a scented candle. Use music to raise your energy—the song “Celebrate” comes to mind. I know its “cheesy”, but it works for me! Create your own symbol of celebration. Celebrate with joy and do it daily! That’s the hardest part. To make this positive ritual a practice that changes your defeating self-talk forever, you have to establish new programming and language as a habit. And to do that you must celebrate your success every day for 3 – 4 weeks. So here you are… If you’ve gotten this far in the report, you have taken 12 Baby Steps. Celebrate Your Success! Just by reading them, you’ve taken more action that most of the people who will download this report. Give yourself credit for committing to make a change and for actually taking Inspired Action!
Now, send me an email and tell me “I did it! I took 12 Baby Steps!” And I’ll celebrate with you. Then commit to taking One Step every day for the next 30 days. Soon you’ll have a Practice that keeps you in your Purpose. You will be living the life of your dreams as a “Wise Well Woman” effortlessly attracting more wisdom, well-being and wealth into your life. "When I stand on a rolling hill and I look out to the sea I can feel the force of freedom finding fellowship with me I can hear a call to courage to be all that I can be Then I know that I have found .... destiny." ~ Miriam Therese Winter ~ So, have you learned the secret to becoming a wise, well woman? Am I a wise, well woman? Are you? Of course, the answer, is “Yes”. You are already the authentic women you are meant to become. You have inside you YOUR truth and everything you need to share your special gifts with the world. With love, faith and hope all things are possible. I wish you a miraculous journey –
P.S. If you would like to connect with me to share your progress, simply ask a question, or to find out more about how I can guide you toward even greater discoveries and support, please contact me at www.wisewellwomen.com/contact. Let me know that you are interested in sharing your story so that we can explore how I might serve you best in the future.
Nanette Saylor is the publisher of The Wise Well Womanâ€™s Way, a collection of revelations concerning the journey of life, the road less travelled and other inspirations. A socially conscious entrepreneur with a passion for helping women re-connect to themselves, Nanette supports women who are ready to take inspired action to creatively step in the direction of their dreams, turning their passions into prosperity, and enhancing their lives in their communities. Founder of Wise Well Women, Inc., Nanette is gratefully gathering and sharing the wisdom of amazing women whose teachings she has followed along the way. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org and subscribe to her newsletter at http://www.wisewellwomen.com/ezine/signup.html.