Boundless (Immeasurable) Sympathetic Joy

Springtime at the Namchak Retreat Ranch

This one is a nice balance to the previous Boundless Quality, Compassion. After you’ve done a lot of Tonglen, it’s refreshing— and I recommend it—to practice Sympathetic Joy. Now, instead of su ering-with, you get to be joyful-with! It’s really still about feeling the truth of your underlying non-separateness from others.

As with the other Boundless Qualities, GET SPECIFIC. That’s the best way I know to keep it real. If your thinking is vague, your feelings will be too. Pick someone and something specific (a dear friend getting over a terrible disease, someone’s vocational success, the birth of a relative’s child, friendship, knowledge, art, the bonds within a

particular community...anything you wish) to feel joyful about. You might keep that particular theme, as you step it out to others, in that day’s practice. As ever, start with yourself, or one very close to you and then yourself, and go out from there. At first you might pick specific people, then eventually whole categories of beings. Then share joy with, yes, those who cause you trouble. Eventually you’re sympathetically joyful for all beings everywhere. At some time or another, they’ve all had moments of joy, and will again. Since linear time is an illusion, be happy with them now. In the process, wish them even more joy, as soon as possible. Then feel into that, and feel your own joy in sympathy with theirs.

Let’s get specific, right now, with this particular Boundless Quality. For example, you may be feeling really happy from a recent visit with your old friend. You had a really good talk or two. How lucky, that you have such a friend, that you can feel the closeness that comes from having shared so much together. You imagine hugging each other hello, basking in that love. As you sit in that warm feeling, allow yourself to savor and celebrate it. “I just had a great visit with Dave!” Under that focus, the feeling of joy will probably grow quite naturally.

For starters you can extend that feeling to Dave, who probably also feels joy about your visit. You’re equally happy for him. Lucky guy!

Now you think of someone else you know and love, who also has that same feeling of closeness with someone they love (but this time, not you). You imagine their smiling face as they meet with their loved one. You could imagine them hugging. You can’t help but smile in Sympathetic Joy. Now you see more people you know, feeling connected with their loved ones. You celebrate that connection for each and all of them.

Then you let the tide of Sympathetic Joy roll out to the next ring. You imagine whole classes of beings feeling the joy of connection: mother dogs with their puppies, licking each other on the mouth (ew!) in joyful reunion after the mother was gone for a few minutes. They love it! You smile at their joy. Then the tide of Joy rolls out to lovers...then all mothers and babies...fathers and babies...as many groups as you can think of. Your heart is positively glowing with Joy!

If you feel ready, you could next push the envelope a little, and imagine someone who’s caused you problems. They must have friends and family they love too. They’re bound to feel joy when they meet

them after being away. Imagine them hugging their loved one, smiling, laughing. Now that you have this big tide of Sympathetic Joy going, you can feel Joy in Sympathy with them, just for this thing, just in this moment. In this moment, they’re simply another sentient being, and they’re feeling joy. In this moment, that’s all that matters. This is a good time to again remember what Neem Karoli Baba said: “Never throw anyone out of your heart.” It accomplishes nothing but making your own heart smaller. That’s a big price to pay for indulging—yes, indulging—in feeling righteous (and almost all our feelings of righteousness are really self-righteousness). Let your heart expand and allow it to feel real Joy in this being’s joy.

Now you can extend that Joy to all sentient beings. At one time or another, they all have felt that joy of meeting with a loved one.

Student Am I supposed to feel Sympathetic Joy for someone who’s happy they’ve hurt someone, or done some bad deed? LT No. There’s plenty that’s positive to be Sympathetically Joyful about. We’ve all done terrible things and we’re are all happy to be hugged by someone we love. We all are happy to eat a good meal, or behold a beautiful sight, listen to our favorite music, help someone, get a hug from a loved one, or just to take a good rest after a long day. We can pick those kinds of things, which are pretty universal. Also, remember that you are probably expanding outward from your own feelings of joy: if you felt joy at hurting someone or doing a bad deed, you would have some work ahead of you!