To Care Less. No Care. No Touch. Not even a hi. On journalism 2021

2021 and my view on journalism by "Doing The Right Thing"... Earn nothing. Not even a touchable "thank you". I stop sharing. What will happen in journalism?

- How To Ruin A New…? Gen-eration? -Like Behaviour. I get low in feel. Lonely.

Bullied. Arrested for no reason. Survived killers. Not even one article in a newspaper or magazine while alive. They steal my work instead (findings, poetrylines or photographic style or after death been killed my work. I came back in my house, devices and even my food stolen).

- To care less, I wrote To Shawn Mendes once. (unsend letter). Because no one cares for the eye. For my eye.

These people with names While they live from my family their estates I don't hate No one seems to now how to communicate I say it could be to late For me I stop believing in journalism I once dared to give it a go Now I almost go forever And no one will tell me ever Did you write that?

Did you sketched that?

Did you designed that?

Did you made that?

Did you discovered that?

Did you love like that?

Did you knew that?

How are you?

All that art, they wait till you die and..

"They are just using you!".

I pick up something I feel something But no one is around I rather say that i am crazy instead This is messing with my mind.

I get no confirm.

Everyone knows and ignores me.

Bullies me.

I lose my believing in this timeage?

I stop sharing with The Washingtonpost everyday. Not even indirectly naming me. Or a sign that my messages come in. I feel used. And crazy. As if i do it all for nothing. Sharing my freelance work for no money invest. of how the world is today. Not even a thank you. There goes my dreams. From NatGeo, to BBC to journalism.

It's hard to see that they use my things in their articles. As if racism. They show white people instead.

Crazy. I carry something what makes me easily working together with them. Without dying in poverty and them watching me how i find my ways how to survive in harsh poor conditions. As if i should show for once bad behaviour. Should suffer as a Somali. Been hurt almost every second. Like WW2 test dummy. Because I turn them on or so. Its disgusting.

Dont even dare to write arcticle about discrimination in science or journalism. Sexism.

Washington Post. For now: F off. Good luck with that global invest. again.

Its sick to see such things. They name a list of investigative journalists. As if i was not there.

A hidden sign or message would be amazing too. A sign of love. Nothing. Nothing to hold even "Beating the heat" Natgeo. Come on. I am more than tracking heatcams shit. A tiny waist. Or a big ass I once had, they've ruined because of 2014 shit. Too ugly for "The Movie" or Hollywood. Too poor for rich men to be seen with. Or too smart to be looking like this. A whore. As i am black? I am not a whore. Hoe. Or whatever. They cant stand me having and showing good behaviour. Being positive. While i have a sick past. Come on. Grow up. Killing me for what? Slowly?

As if every artist should die in a depressed way. Because they feel and love always. Not asking money for it. Or something in return. But this. How people steal my shit. Thats something else. Inspired by me and then giving others a stage to hurt me. While me, not having a job or proper education. A made drop out. They steal my Einstein shit. As a somali. Woman.

My womb is still functioning. But attacked everyday. Ask FBI they do a lot. They dont show.

I witness how N shit and more are been stopped. They are heroes. Silent. Hurt me even more. They can't talk about it. As i am black. African/Arab. As some can be crazy as in jealousy. I wish the best for the world.

I sit and listen. And watch. Good luck with the new inspo.

I see my shit even back on dutch tv. Adds. It's sick. Traumatizing.

Sunday, 3 October 2021 Nadiya Amina Aweis Mohamed Mohado Sheikh Nur Megen, The Netherlands