Nada4 34 - All Heil Führer Trump

There must be a cigarette in one of the empty containers piling up on my desk and on my floor. I have done this check before and it never turns out well. It's a last resort but must be taken regardless. Sometimes I will find a pack filled with the ripped off tips of cigarettes and with that I could fabricate one. But this time I am going for the gold. I want a real one, prerolled and everything.

The checks are simple. First I lift the pack to feel if there is any weight in the there. Then I'll shake it to hear if one very light cigarette moves around. Usually I just hear the sound of a few bits of tobacco hitting the sides of the box. Then I open the thing and look inside as a final piece of insurance. I did this some thirty, forty times. Nothing. I think maybe there is enough loose tobacco to roll a cigarette. But I must be strong on this occasion. I am settling for nothing less than a real cigarette. I then move to check all the boxes on the floor. My brand of choice is usually Natural American Spirits. The ones with the native guy shown in black silhouette wearing a headdress smoking a peace pipe in front of a red circle resembling a rising sun. This is what I am trying to achieve. This is what they are advertising. And this is how I see myself every morning, dressed in black with a cigarette up to my lips feeling at peace at the crack of dawn. This is the dream. But for some reason this morning is the nightmare.