COARSE Fall 2024 Edition

fall 2024

fall 2024 // the body

CONTENTS LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Nach Insaurralde

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MI CARA Carmiña Goya

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MARIANNE’S VIOLETS Reimund Gustafson

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SEX HAIKUS Collected by Nach Insaurralde

8, 14, 17, 22, 28

CLOSING NOTES ON NYS PROPOSITION 1 Eliza Brown, Cedar Young

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YOUR BODY MY CHOICE Indi Claxton

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MY PROOFS OF BEING ALIVE Alice Yuchang Zhang

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EMBODIED Lucy Postizzi

15 I LOVE YOUR BODY 18 THE EARTH AS A LIVING BODY Allison House

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THE EMPRESS Kelsey Simler

23 I AM THE WORLD Nach Insaurralde

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COARSE /KÔRS/

adj: rough in texture or grain adj: (of a person or their speech) rude, crude, or vulgar adj: not elegantly formed noun: the Dub’s independent feminist magazine verb: once you are done with COARSE, pass it along to a friend. speak to people. be a feminist (if you want).

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FROM THE EDITOR What is the body? Is it a tool for self expression? Is it a battleground? Is it a source of inspiration? Is it a symbol? The authors and artists participating in this edition of COARSE grapple with these questions. Their perspectives of the body as a vulnerable, powerful, and contradictory territory shine a light on how unequal systems condition the production of bodies through discursive, political, and socioeconomic lived experiences.

However, our contributors don’t stop at reflecting on the violence enacted on their bodies. They also brightly craft creative responses to this violence, either through visibilizing marginalized bodies and humanizing the voices behind them, or by weaving narratives that challenge, escape, and heal the wounds left behind by the violence of sexual assault, the cruelty of forced disappearance, the denaturalization of transition, the imposition of dogmatic religion, and the disregard for bodily autonomy.

In the last letter from the editor, I argued for a coarse feminism. This type of feminism finds value in discomfort, unsettling systemic injustices by grating against the harsh surfaces of the World each of us embody. By recognizing our need to change as individuals, we can better appreciate how change is necessary as collectives, as well. But what will a coarse surface do in grating against the harshness, if not make it softer?

While I won’t denounce the value of discomfort, I believe when highlighting a feminist perspective of bodies, it is important to critically ask ourselves: Who gets to feel comfort? And why would it be necessary for marginalized bodies to push themselves further into discomfort, especially when we are already constantly placed in precarious conditions? Although feminists love a good contradiction, seeking discomfort as an end in and of itself won’t suffice. I want my friends to thrive in safety. I want things to be easy for women, for working class people, for people of color, for migrants, for queer people and for disabled folks. I want us to nurture our sense of comfort in challenging environments. This may sound utopic –after all, no one really is fully safe and comfortable all the time–, but it is worth thinking about how we can make utopias happen. It is worth imagining a better future for us all.

So, reader, I want you to face this edition of COARSE with the knowledge that discomfort is necessary. When you witness some of the more difficult pieces, please sit with the discomfort and let it change you: let the coarseness make you softer. And once you’re on this softer side, let the more hopeful pieces remind you that you deserve safety, comfort, and justice. I hope this edition of COARSE catalyzes your search for these things.

PS. Please be adviced, this edition of COARSE contains graphic materials about sexuality and violence. Read at your own pace, discretion, and radical self-care.

Nach Insaurralde Editor-in-Chief 4

MI CARA

Carmiña Goya [My Face] Oil on paper.

2024

I grew up with stories about Luis, my uncle, who never saw the faces of those he loved again after he, his wife and his newborn disappeared during the military dictatorship that plagued Argentina from 1976 until 1983. I grew up hearing my grandmother Pilar ask us if we believed Luis would ever return.

Like my uncle, pregnant women and children were disappeared. Many of these children were born in captivity due to detainment, instantly appropriated, and raised with false identities. To date, there are more than 500 missing children, now full-grown adults who do not know where their bodies came from, or who to attribute their history to. More than 30,000 were abducted and disappeared under state terrorism. Their bodies are still nowhere to be found.

Si naciste entre 1975 y 1983 en Argentina, podés ser unx de lxs nietxs que seguimos buscando. Si dudás de tu identidad, contactá a Abuelas.org.ar I know my face. I know my body. Do you?

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MARIANNE’S VIOLETS Poem by Reimund Gustafson 2024 She had gathered tresses in her tiny hands, sewing anticipation into her fingers.

Older, swept downstairs in exhaustion, life beat out in pencil shavings.

Hours of agony – but next morning her vase would still stand. Always elusive, veritably no one could catch her.

We grew older, I lost track of where my body ended and hers began. Some nights I felt a foot taller, or infinitely small. Mountains and flowers swallowed us until we could not run.

The horror would be another telling us what our bodies meant; who we were, the terror of being defined by someone who could never know us.

Freedom flickered like a candle in those years until we forgot how cold it was without it.

Eventually, of course, the beating stopped.

Bricks faded.

When I return, on hobbled ground, only Marianne’s violets will greet me.

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in me and outside i hate you all the damn time but look at me now

palpitar, dentro suyo palpitando no la quiero sacar

SEX HAIKUS I

il me tient avec un regard silencieux moi, contre le monde

the forest calls out sends its beasts to bring me back there, a slick feast waits

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CLOSING NOTES ON NYS PROPOSITION 1 Eliza Brown and Cedar Young have been advocating for NYS Prop 1 at SLU since Spring of 2023. They have organized a reproductive rights discussion panel, written a Hill News article, held a discussion between multiple organizations, created custom “yard” signs, distributed informational

materials at numerous tablings, canvassed in Canton, and hosted meetings with regional experts. *Briefly, what is Prop 1?

Eliza: Prop 1 is an amendment to the New York State Constitution that adds protections to vulnerable identities and reproductive rights.

Cedar: It works to protect people from discrimination based on a wide variety of identities.

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*Why do you care about Prop 1?

Eliza: Feminism has always been important to me, but I hadn’t gotten super involved in politics until Spring of 2023 when I randomly became President of SLU Dems. That’s a long story, but it exposed me to this legislation. At the time, I was in a not-so-great relationship where my bodily autonomy was not respected, so Prop 1 really resonated with me, and I wanted to do anything I could to help other people be safe and protected.

Cedar: Prop 1 is important to me because of how valuable legal protections from discrimination are for fighting against societal injustice. *How did it feel to have Prop 1 passed?

Cedar: It felt awesome to see something we spent so much time advocating for getting passed, especially since it means that so many other New Yorkers care about this amendment as much as we do.

Eliza: Fucking superb. *What does having Prop 1 pass mean for New Yorkers?

Cedar: New Yorkers will now be able to use Prop 1 as a legal basis to fight against discrimination and to protect their reproductive healthcare and rights.

Eliza: Specifically, regardless of what occurs on a national level, New Yorkers will still be able to get abortions, IVF, and birth control. *Is there more work to be done?

Cedar: Definitely; while legal protections are extremely important everywhere, New York State already tends to be liberal in its social views. Protections like the ones included in Prop 1 would be great to see in every state, if not nationally.

Eliza: Always! While Prop 1 protects the right to reproductive healthcare, it does not ensure the accessibility of this care.

So we encourage readers to do anything they can to support organizations like Planned Parenthood. *Any final takeaways?

Eliza: It’s hard to find people who are willing to discuss politics and even harder to find people who are willing to take action. This project connected us with these kinds of people and that’s been super gratifying. I’m proud of us and our PPGA-Dems members who helped get Prop 1 get passed.

Cedar: Thank you to everyone who voted or advocated for adding Proposition 1 to the New York Constitution, this is a testament to what we can achieve when we work together!

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YOUR BODY MY CHOICE Indi Claxton Digital art piece.

2024

I felt particularly compelled to create this piece because, following Donald Trump’s reelection, Nick Fuentes posted a video online that included the phrase “your body, my choice.” This was followed by other heinous and disgusting phrases Including the outburst of excitement for Trump’s presidency and plans for the next four years, which go against the comfort and safety of marginalized groups.

This issue drives deep within those communities, but speaks deafeningly to me as someone who has experienced other forms of disrespect regarding the rights to my body. For every other person who has faced assault, general bodily fears, and surrounding issues, you are loved. Art is only one way to express grievances and pain and I hope the message makes you feel heard. Your issues matter.

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MY PROOFS OF BEING ALIVE Poem by Alice Yuchang Zhang 2024 All of the ink on my body is evidence of all my battles and paradoxes; They pity the bodies with scars, But to live is to tear everything apart, To live is to leave marks around this world and within ourselves.

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silk sheets, moonlights glow waves crashing, glistening skin i'm drowning in you

stress dissolving, drips on skin like sweet sugar sweat her lips and tongue kiss

SEX HAIKUS II

eating a flower whole without remorse, from your tongue I flow inside

warm embracing night cooling sound becomes the dark line broken, refound A.S.

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EMBODIED Lucy Postizzi Digital photography.

2023

I wear my truth like a second skin, woven in colors that glow within.

Each scar, each curve, each edge, each tattoo, a testament to all I’ve been through.

Not shaped to fit your narrow mold, a story of freedom, fierce and bold.

I am the fire that cannot be tamed, the spark that refuses to feel ashamed.

In every glance, in every stride, I carry my pride.

The world may stare, it always will, I have grown stronger, and I am growing, still.

But I am whole, a vibrant, unapologetic soul.

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heat rises, unbound and my hands find refuge in you love me, please, love me

it will not be the monsters moaning in my room tonight, tis all I

when we touch, lover another cannot even never leave again

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SEX HAIKUS III

siempre quiero más nunca frenará este deseo frágil

I LOVE YOUR BODY 2024

Our first encounter, I took you in.

Your strong body, capable of washing away my fears when you held me tight.

What did I know of what it would become?

Your feet, bare on the grass, a memory I dream to relive.

The sun on my face.

You slept, so peaceful when you didn’t have to worry about what to do next.

We ate and laughed and rejoiced, with our feet bare.

Your legs, tense as you ran, a view I have experienced more than once.

Excitement in me to see you barreling towards me.

To pick me up in one swift moment.

We cried and laughed and rejoiced, with your strong legs.

Your hips, ready to bend over and grab me, an experience that never tires.

When I am too tired to get up.

And you are too tired to spend another second without me in your bed.

We laughed and slept and rejoiced, with your hips bent.

Your stomach, a beast that I have yet to appease, with more memories to come.

I sear the steak, while you mash the potatoes.

We should have gotten a vegetable.

We ate and fattened and rejoiced, with your stomach still not full.

Your chest, the softest place I have rested, a welcome experience every night.

I fight off the sleep, as your heart sings a lullaby.

You are reading, unaware of the weight I place on you.

We slept and rested and rejoiced, with your soft chest.

I love your body, and the memories it provides me.

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THE EARTH A BODY Scientific poem by Allison House 2024

It is commonly taught in biology classes that there are criteria for something to be alive: (1) all life is highly ordered and structured with some sort of symmetry, (2) all life reproduces, (3) all life grows, (4) all life uses energy to complete functions, (5) all life things exhibit homeostasis, (6) all life respond to their environment, (7) and finally, all life evolves (NASA Astrobiology).

As a geology major, I can’t help but think of how our own body of Earth fulfills these requirements. Below, I present the case for The Earth as a Living Body: 1) The definition of a mineral is as follows: naturally occurring, inorganic, solid, has a definite crystal structure, has a definite chemical formula (Mineral, 2024). A definite crystal structure can be seen at the atomic level, but also with your eyes (Klein, 2007). The crystal structure determines the shape of the mineral if it were to form under perfect conditions. The definite chemical formula can be tested through geochemistry. Each mineral has its own formula, and while there are examples of chemical substitution, it is all the same at the electron level.

If we were to view the planet as a whole, we could break it down into the two types of symmetry we see in nature: radial or bilateral (NASA Astrobiology).

Radial symmetry is seen in starfish, and bilateral symmetry is what we see in humans. It is a way of describing the symmetry of a whole body. Fortunately for us, the earth is a sphere, meaning it is symmetrical regardless of which way we slice it up.

2) There are two types of reproduction –asexual and sexual (NASA Astrobiology).

Sexual reproduction is when two entities come together to create a third entity, like humans do. Asexual reproduction is when one entity splits its DNA to create an identical second entity, like bacteria.

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AS A LIVING The rock cycle is taught as a system explaining how one rock may be turned into another. For example, a sedimentary rock may be subducted, melted, and then recrystallized into an igneous rock (Rock Cycle, 2020). I argue that this is a case of sexual reproduction, as we are seeing one rock being melted through pressure and contact with another heated melt (i.e., a liquid rock), to create a third entity- an igneous rock that is genetically sedimentary.

Additionally, ‘genetically’ is a common metaphor used in geology to describe rock’s relationships with each other. There are other metaphors such as parent and daughter melts, describing how one rock can be derived from another and share some of its chemical properties, just as a human daughter would share with her mother.

3) Earth was originally formed through the process of accretion (Lunine, 2024).

First, our Sun formed. As the nebula cooled, minerals and other solid materials were expelled and began rotating around the mass of the Sun. As they ran into each other, they stuck together and continued to grow, creating their own gravitational fields. Eventually, our 8 planets and many more planetoids were formed, with Earth being one of them. This accretion is a clear sign of growth, as our planet started off as just one ‘rock’ and has grown to what we know now.

4) A visual phenomenon known as ‘breathing Earth’ can be seen from space (Perkins, 2024). In January, carbon dioxide is abundant in the Northern Hemisphere, increasing until May, while oxygen and vegetation thrive in the Southern Hemisphere. As the seasons shift between hemispheres, we see a switching of oxygen abundance. When played over time, this creates the visual of our breathing earth. Earth is bringing in carbon dioxide and expelling oxygen in a rhythmic pattern, exactly as humans do with lungs. If it requires energy for us to breathe, the corollary is that it requires energy for Earth’s body to breathe as well.

5) As mentioned before, minerals have definite chemical structures where certain elements can be switched out for each other based on what is available and their valence electrons (Klein, 2007). Homeostasis is a body’s ability to self-regulate

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(Homeostasis, 2024). Minerals have the ability, while forming, to move elements to and from their atomic structure based on what is needed, a perfect example of homeostasis at the molecular level.

6) During the rock cycle, rocks will undergo many different changes, both physical and chemical, in response to their environment (Rock Cycle, 2020). Erosion is the physical process in which a rock is broken apart slowly either by water, wind, or some other form of friction. This process leads to changes in shape due to the environment. Most rocks that are observed are eroded in some way, whether they are at the beach or on the side of the road, and it is all in response to their environment.

7) The earth is evolving. It is an example of continuous change and failure and success. There is no better example of evolution than this body.

Works Cited “Homeostasis.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, inc., 22 Oct. 2024, www.britannica.com/science/homeostasis.

Klein, Cornelis, and Barbara Dutrow. Mineral Science. 23rd ed., John Wiley & Sons Inc., 2007.

Lunine, Jonathan, et al. “Accretion of the Early Earth.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, inc., 18 Nov. 2024, www.britannica.com/place/Earth/Accretion-of-the-early Earth.

“Mineral.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, inc., 12 Nov. 2024, www.britannica.com/science/mineral-chemical-compound.

“NASA Astrobiology.” NASA, NASA, astrobiology.nasa.gov/education/alp/characteristics-of life/. Accessed 19 Nov. 2024.

Perkins, Lori. “NASA Scientific Visualization Studio.” NASA, NASA, 9 Oct. 2024, svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/3947.

“Rock Cycle.” Understanding Global Change, 11 Sept. 2020, ugc.berkeley.edu/background content/rock-cycle/.

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soft whispers ignite bodies speak in quiet tones the world fades away

la ternura me entra por los poros, no paro de temblar

SEX HAIKUS IV

your eyes are too cold but my body is used to i want to leave, how?

something is growling only when your touch lingers for you i am starved

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THE EMPRESS Kelsey Simler Pencil on paper.

2024

This drawing is my own rendition of the third major arcana Tarot card, The Empress, which symbolizes the divine feminine qualities within all of us. The Empress is an embodiment of creative, nurturing, compassionate, life supporting energy. I drew The Empress as a tree, because when I am spending time in nature I feel the most in tune with my energy, as well as that of every other being. We are all connected and interdependent on each other. No one body –human body, animal body, plant body, water body, energy body, etc– is as individual as we may perceive it to be.

The body of a tree speaks to the truth of The Empress card, because of how trees connect through their roots and provide nutrients to other plants and organisms in the soil. Trees are not individual beings, and the life of a forest, an ecosystem, is dependent on their networked community. I also love how trees show us that they can only grow as tall as the roots burrow deep. The deeper we connect to our true self, which is in fact not a completely individual "self" at all, the more aligned we are with purpose, inspiration, and community, and the more we can create a life of our choosing. Our roots penetrate the shadows of our ancestral lineage, childhoods, and unconscious energy, asking for our acknowledgement and compassion so that we may strengthen our trunks, reach our branches higher above, and bloom in vibrant growth. This means that the parts of ourselves we deem most ugly and unwanted deserve to be embraced with love, and this embrace is necessary for true growth. We are all The Empress, and we are all the body of a tree.

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I AM THE WORLD Poem by Nach Insaurralde 2024 Flooded by the taste of yam, my tongue boils.

I make my bed every single day, I light it on fire at night and wake on the tall grass.

The World bites down on my body; they are a snake, eternal and wise.

They speak in whispers and I hear.

I trace a sensitive finger over every sharp tooth mark and pray: I learn, I learn, I learn.

I cannot recover all that I have lost.

The World unravels and swallows me, they hug me and I don’t know what I have done to deserve feeling their breathing, or the slow beat of their pulse, or the warmth of their gaze resting over my inhibited posture.

But just as they hugged me moments ago, they continued, on to hug the next body.

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I wish I could say I learned something, that I observed some whispered secret emanating from that breast that nourished all the breasts.

That in the cold light reflected on their waves, clouds and mountains, I found illumination.

But instead of directing the religious masses, I sit in my room, alone.

My skin itches as if she was shedding from herself.

My hairs fall. I lose them like I lose sleep, slowly and causing my mother worry.

I fill the space in my head with something else, I make room.

A deep breath changes my whole being.

In every corner I turn into a new body.

I am the witch with the apple, the slut, the lust filled dreamer, the trash collector.

I am the absent father, the shadow and the light that casts the shadow, the berry and the mouth that eats it.

I am the watchful eye, the priest condemning the damned and forgiving the regretful.

I am the blessed mother, womb and heart I pray: I love, I love, I love.

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Tomorrow I’ll be the World.

With my breasts I will nourish all the breasts.

With my waves, clouds and mountains, I will illuminate the wise, and from my body, whispered secrets will emanate.

Tomorrow I will understand: the whole World can fit in my arms if I simply make room.

I listen to the echo, he prays: I turn, I turn, I turn.

And so those bodies that have fit between my long arms, that have been kissed by supple lips, or seen themselves tangled in long, silky, dark hair, the bodies lost in oceanic depths, the bodies fallen to illness, decomposing in the earth, they become me.

I am the amethyst, the transmuter, the sacred flame, the philosopher's stone, transforming.

I am the bridge between what a body is and what it will become, I am the World.

I lead the bodies in prayer: I learn, I learn, I learn.

I love, I love, I love.

I turn, I turn, I turn.

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will you promise to always and forever, you hold me, without fear

if my body could flow like rivers, it would unbegrudgingly

SEX HAIKUS V

more, more, more, more, more please, i starve for your touch, more do not, don’t let go

swept up by your grace please please please don’t make me chase i just love your face

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contributors Carmiña Goya ‘25 is double majoring in Art History and Studio Art. As an Argentinian, Carmiña is interested in issues surrounding body politics and resistance in her culture and the history of her people.

Reimund Gustafson ‘27 is interested in equity in healthcare. He is majoring in psychology and political science.

Eliza Brown ‘25 is allegedly a mathematician but spends her time in public service obligations. She is the President of SLU Dems, President of PPGA, VP of Advocates, and Finance and Development Director of College Democrats of New York.

Cedar Young ‘24 is majoring in environmental studies/government. She is a part of advocacy clubs on campus, including being the VP of PPGA, Secretary of SLU Democrats, and Secretary of the Advocates.

Alice Yuchang Zhang ‘25 is majoring in psychology and philosophy. She is interested in self-expression, ethics, and philosophical approaches to mental health.

Lucy Postizzi ‘26 is majoring in studio art and anthropology. She is interested in queer and women’s visibility.

Kelsey Simler’25 is a senior majoring in conservation biology and minoring in gender studies. She is interested in a spiritual connection to nature that heals and transforms egocentric ways of being.

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the team copy editors Gabriella Reynolds is a senior majoring in global studies and minoring in gender and sexuality studies. They are interested in the rights and liberties of queer groups and feminist politics.

Allison House is a junior double majoring in geology and mathematics. She is interested in leadership, body issues, and feminism in the field of science.

managing editors Indi Claxton is a junior majoring in sociology and double minoring in philosophy and gender & sexuality studies. They are particularly drawn to human rights and gaining perspective regarding differing identities.

Jordan Kulbe Is a senior majoring in conservation biology with a minor in African studies. She is passionate about the intersectionality of feminist, queer and ecological issues.

editor-in-chief Nach Insaurralde is a senior majoring in anthropology and minoring in gender studies. They are interested in historical memory, gender diversity, identity, justice. They are the founder of COARSE.

COARSE is an independent publication brought to you by The Dub, the feminist resource center at St. Lawrence University.

Canton, N.Y., U.S.A. Fall 2024 issue.

Background photo from “Becoming the Dub” Archives by Nach Insaurralde // 30

fall 2024 // the body