COARSE
/KÔRS/
adj: rough in texture or grain
adj: (of a person or their speech) rude, crude, or vulgar
adj: not elegantly formed
noun: the Dub’s independent feminist magazine
verb: once you are done with COARSE, pass it along to a friend. speak to people. be a feminist (if you want).
FROMTHE EDITOR
What is the body? Is it a tool for self expression? Is it a battleground? Is it a sourceofinspiration?Isitasymbol?The authors and artists participating in this edition of COARSE grapple with these questions.Theirperspectivesofthebody as a vulnerable, powerful, and contradictoryterritoryshinealightonhow unequalsystemsconditiontheproduction ofbodiesthroughdiscursive,political,and socioeconomic lived experiences. However, our contributors don’t stop at reflectingontheviolenceenactedontheir bodies. They also brightly craft creative responses to this violence, either through visibilizing marginalized bodies and humanizingthevoicesbehindthem,orby weaving narratives that challenge, escape, and heal the wounds left behind by the violence of sexual assault, the cruelty of forced disappearance, the denaturalization of transition, the imposition ofdogmaticreligion,andthedisregardfor bodilyautonomy.
Inthelastletterfromtheeditor,Iargued for a coarse feminism. This type of feminism finds value in discomfort, unsettling systemic injustices by grating against the harsh surfaces of the World each of us embody. By recognizing our need to change as individuals, we can better appreciate how change is necessary as collectives, as well. But what will a coarse surface do in grating against the harshness, if not make it softer?
While I won’t denounce the value of discomfort, I believe when highlighting a feminist perspective of bodies, it is important to critically ask ourselves: Who getstofeelcomfort?Andwhywoulditbe necessary for marginalized bodies to push themselves further into discomfort, especially when we are already constantly placed in precarious conditions? Although feminists love a goodcontradiction,seekingdiscomfortas anendinandofitselfwon’tsuffice.Iwant myfriendstothriveinsafety Iwantthings to be easy for women, for working class people, for people of color, for migrants, for queer people and for disabled folks I wantustonurtureoursenseofcomfortin challenging environments. This may sound utopic –after all, no one really is fully safe and comfortable all the time–, but it is worth thinking about how we can make utopias happen It is worth imaginingabetterfutureforusall.
So, reader, I want you to face this edition of COARSE with the knowledge that discomfort is necessary. When you witnesssomeofthemoredifficultpieces, please sit with the discomfort and let it changeyou:letthecoarsenessmakeyou softer. And once you’re on this softer side, let the more hopeful pieces remind youthatyoudeservesafety,comfort,and justice. I hope this edition of COARSE catalyzesyoursearchforthesethings.
PS. Please be adviced, this edition of COARSE contains graphic materials about sexuality and violence. Read at your own pace, discretion, and radical self-care.
NachInsaurralde
Editor-in-Chief
MI CARA
Carmiña Goya
[My Face]
Oil on paper. 2024
I grew up with stories about Luis, my uncle, who never saw the faces of those he loved again after he,hiswifeandhisnewborndisappearedduringthe military dictatorship that plagued Argentina from 1976 until 1983. I grew up hearing my grandmother Pilar ask us if we believed Luis would ever return Like my uncle, pregnant women and children were disappeared. Many of these children were born in captivity due to detainment, instantly appropriated, and raised with false identities. To date, there are more than 500 missing children, now full-grown adults who do not know where their bodies came from, or who to attribute their history to. More than 30,000wereabductedanddisappearedunderstate terrorism Theirbodiesarestillnowheretobefound Si naciste entre 1975 y 1983 en Argentina, podés ser unx de lxs nietxs que seguimos buscando. Si dudásdetuidentidad,contactáaAbuelasorgar Iknowmyface.Iknowmybody.Doyou?
MARIANNE’S VIOLETS
Poem by Reimund Gustafson 2024
Shehadgatheredtressesinhertinyhands, sewinganticipationintoherfingers. Older,sweptdownstairsinexhaustion, lifebeatoutinpencilshavings. Hoursofagony–butnextmorninghervase wouldstillstand.Alwayselusive, veritablynoonecouldcatchher.
Wegrewolder,Ilosttrackofwheremybodyended andhersbegan.SomenightsIfeltafoot taller,orinfinitelysmall.Mountainsand flowersswallowedusuntilwecouldnotrun. Thehorrorwouldbeanothertellinguswhat ourbodiesmeant;whowewere,theterror ofbeingdefinedbysomeonewhocould neverknowus.
Freedomflickeredlikeacandleinthoseyears untilweforgothowcolditwaswithoutit.
Eventually,ofcourse,thebeatingstopped. Bricksfaded.
WhenIreturn,onhobbledground, onlyMarianne’svioletswillgreet me.
il me tient avec un regard silencieux moi, contre le monde in me and outside i hate you all the damn time but look at me now palpitar, dentro suyo palpitando no la quiero sacar the forest calls out sends its beasts to bring me back there, a slick feast waits S E X H A I K U S I
CLOSINGNOTESON NYSPROPOSITION1
Eliza Brown and Cedar Young have been advocating for NYS Prop 1 at SLU since Spring of 2023. They have organized a reproductive rights discussion panel, written a Hill News article, held a discussion between multiple organizations, created custom “yard”signs,distributedinformational
*WhydoyoucareaboutProp1?
Eliza: Feminism has always been importanttome,butIhadn’tgottensuper involved in politics until Spring of 2023 when I randomly became President of SLU Dems. That’s a long story, but it exposed me to this legislation At the time,Iwasinanot-so-greatrelationship where my bodily autonomy was not respected, so Prop 1 really resonated with me, and I wanted todoanythingIcouldtohelpother peoplebesafeandprotected.
materials at numerous tablings, canvassed in Canton, and hosted meetingswithregionalexperts
*Briefly,whatisProp1?
Eliza: Prop 1 is an amendment to the New York State Constitution that adds protections to vulnerable identities and reproductiverights
Cedar: It works to protect people from discrimination based on a wide variety of identities
Cedar: Prop 1 is important to me because of how valuable legal protections from discrimination are for fighting against societal injustice
*How did it feel to have Prop 1 passed?
Cedar: It felt awesome to see somethingwespentsomuchtime advocating for getting passed, especially since it means that so many other New Yorkers care about this amendment as muchaswedo.
Eliza:Fuckingsuperb.
*WhatdoeshavingProp1passmeanfor NewYorkers?
Cedar: New Yorkers will now be able to use Prop 1 as a legal basis to fight against discrimination and to protect their reproductivehealthcareandrights.
Eliza: Specifically, regardless of what occurs on a national level, New Yorkers willstillbeabletogetabortions,IVF,and birthcontrol.
*Istheremoreworktobedone?
Cedar: Definitely; while legal protections areextremelyimportanteverywhere,New York State already tends to be liberal in its social views. Protections like the ones included in Prop 1 would be great to see ineverystate,ifnotnationally
Eliza: Always! While Prop 1 protects the right to reproductive healthcare, it does not ensure the accessibility of this care So we encourage readers to do anything they can to support organizations like PlannedParenthood
*Anyfinaltakeaways?
Eliza: It’s hard to find people who are willing to discuss politics and evenhardertofindpeoplewhoare willing to take action. This project connected us with these kinds of people and that’s been super gratifying. I’m proud of us and our PPGA-Dems members who helpedgetProp1getpassed.
Cedar:Thankyoutoeveryonewho voted or advocated for adding Proposition1totheNewYork Constitution, this is a testament to what wecanachievewhenweworktogether!
YOURBODY MYCHOICE
Indi Claxton
Digital art piece. 2024
I felt particularly compelled to create this piece because, following Donald Trump’s reelection, Nick Fuentes posted a video online that included the phrase “your body, my choice.” This was followed by other heinous and disgusting phrases Including the outburst of excitement for Trump’s presidency and plans for the next four years, which go against the comfort and safety of marginalized groups. This issue drives deep within those communities, but speaks deafeningly to me as someone who has experienced other forms of disrespect regarding the rights to my body. For every other person who has faced assault, general bodily fears, and surrounding issues, you are loved. Art is only one way to express grievances and pain and I hope the message makes you feel heard. Your issues matter.
MYPROOFS OFBEING ALIVE
Poem by Alice Yuchang Zhang 2024
Alloftheinkonmybodyisevidenceofallmybattlesandparadoxes; Theypitythebodieswithscars, Buttoliveistoteareverythingapart, Toliveistoleavemarksaroundthisworldandwithinourselves.
eating a flower whole without remorse, from your tongue I flow inside
silk sheets, moonlights glow waves crashing, glistening skin i'm drowning in you
stress dissolving, drips on skin like sweet sugar sweat her lips and tongue kiss
warm embracing night cooling sound becomes the dark line broken, refound A.S.
S E X H A I K U S I I
EMBODIED
Lucy Postizzi
photography.
Iwearmytruthlikeasecondskin, wovenincolorsthatglowwithin Eachscar,eachcurve,eachedge, eachtattoo, atestamenttoallI’vebeenthrough
Notshapedtofityournarrowmold, astoryoffreedom,fierceandbold. Iamthefirethatcannotbetamed, thesparkthatrefusestofeelashamed.
Ineveryglance,ineverystride, Icarrymypride.
Theworldmaystare,italwayswill, Ihavegrownstronger,andIam growing,still.
ButIamwhole, avibrant,unapologeticsoul.
siempre quiero más nunca frenará este deseo frágil
heat rises, unbound and my hands find refuge in you love me, please, love me it will not be the monsters moaning in my room tonight, tis all I S E X H A I K U S I I I when we touch, lover another cannot even never leave again
ILOVE YOURBODY
Ourfirstencounter,Itookyouin Yourstrongbody,capableofwashingawaymyfearswhenyouheldmetight WhatdidIknowofwhatitwouldbecome? Yourfeet,bareonthegrass,amemoryIdreamtorelive Thesunonmyface
Youslept,sopeacefulwhenyoudidn’thavetoworryaboutwhattodonext Weateandlaughedandrejoiced,withourfeetbare Yourlegs,tenseasyouran,aviewIhaveexperiencedmorethanonce Excitementinmetoseeyoubarrelingtowardsme. Topickmeupinoneswiftmoment.
Wecriedandlaughedandrejoiced,withyourstronglegs. Yourhips,readytobendoverandgrabme,anexperiencethatnevertires. WhenIamtootiredtogetup.
Andyouaretootiredtospendanothersecondwithoutmeinyourbed. Welaughedandsleptandrejoiced,withyourhipsbent. Yourstomach,abeastthatIhaveyettoappease,withmorememoriestocome. Isearthesteak,whileyoumashthepotatoes. Weshouldhavegottenavegetable. Weateandfattenedandrejoiced,withyourstomachstillnotfull. Yourchest,thesoftestplaceIhaverested,awelcomeexperienceeverynight. Ifightoffthesleep,asyourheartsingsalullaby. Youarereading,unawareoftheweightIplaceonyou. Wesleptandrestedandrejoiced,withyoursoftchest. Iloveyourbody,andthememoriesitprovidesme.
THE EARTH A BODY
Scientific poem by Allison House 2024
Itiscommonlytaughtinbiologyclassesthattherearecriteriaforsomethingto be alive: (1) all life is highly ordered and structured with some sort of symmetry, (2) all life reproduces, (3) all life grows, (4) all life uses energy to complete functions, (5) all life things exhibit homeostasis, (6) all life respond to their environment,(7)andfinally,alllifeevolves(NASAAstrobiology).
As a geology major, I can’t help but think of how our own body of Earth fulfills theserequirements Below,IpresentthecaseforTheEarthasaLivingBody:
1) The definition of a mineral is as follows: naturally occurring, inorganic, solid, hasadefinitecrystalstructure,hasadefinitechemicalformula(Mineral,2024).A definitecrystalstructurecanbeseenattheatomiclevel,butalsowithyoureyes (Klein,2007).Thecrystalstructuredeterminestheshapeofthemineralifitwere to form under perfect conditions. The definite chemical formula can be tested through geochemistry. Each mineral has its own formula, and while there are examplesofchemicalsubstitution,itisallthesameattheelectronlevel.
If we were to view the planet as a whole, we could break it down into the two types of symmetry we see in nature: radial or bilateral (NASA Astrobiology). Radial symmetry is seen in starfish, and bilateral symmetry is what we see in humans. It is a way of describing the symmetry of a whole body. Fortunately for us, the earth is a sphere, meaning it is symmetrical regardless of which way we sliceitup
2)Therearetwotypesofreproduction–asexualandsexual(NASAAstrobiology). Sexual reproduction is when two entities come together to create a third entity, likehumansdo.AsexualreproductioniswhenoneentitysplitsitsDNAtocreate anidenticalsecondentity,likebacteria.
AS A LIVING
The rock cycle is taught as a system explaining how one rock may be turned into another. For example, a sedimentary rock may be subducted, melted, and thenrecrystallizedintoanigneousrock(RockCycle,2020).Iarguethatthisisa case of sexual reproduction, as we are seeing one rock being melted through pressureandcontactwithanotherheatedmelt(i.e.,aliquidrock),tocreateathird entity-anigneousrockthatisgeneticallysedimentary.
Additionally, ‘genetically’ is a common metaphor used in geology to describe rock’s relationships with each other. There are other metaphors such as parent and daughter melts, describing how one rock can be derived from another and sharesomeofitschemicalproperties,justasahumandaughterwouldsharewith hermother
3) Earth was originally formed through the process of accretion (Lunine, 2024). First, our Sun formed. As the nebula cooled, minerals and other solid materials were expelled and began rotating around the mass of the Sun As they ran into each other, they stuck together and continued to grow, creating their own gravitational fields. Eventually, our 8 planets and many more planetoids were formed,withEarthbeingoneofthem.Thisaccretionisaclearsignofgrowth,as ourplanetstartedoffasjustone‘rock’andhasgrowntowhatweknownow.
4) A visual phenomenon known as ‘breathing Earth’ can be seen from space (Perkins, 2024). In January, carbon dioxide is abundant in the Northern Hemisphere, increasing until May, while oxygen and vegetation thrive in the Southern Hemisphere. As the seasons shift between hemispheres, we see a switchingofoxygenabundance.Whenplayedovertime,thiscreatesthevisualof ourbreathingearth Earthisbringingincarbondioxideandexpellingoxygenina rhythmic pattern, exactly as humans do with lungs. If it requires energy for us to breathe,thecorollaryisthatitrequiresenergyforEarth’sbodytobreatheaswell.
5)Asmentionedbefore,mineralshavedefinitechemicalstructureswherecertain elementscanbeswitchedoutforeachotherbasedonwhatisavailableandtheir valenceelectrons(Klein,2007).Homeostasisisabody’sabilitytoself-regulate
(Homeostasis, 2024) Minerals have the ability, while forming, to move elements toandfromtheiratomicstructurebasedonwhatisneeded,aperfectexampleof homeostasisatthemolecularlevel.
6)Duringtherockcycle,rockswillundergomanydifferentchanges,bothphysical andchemical,inresponsetotheirenvironment(RockCycle,2020).Erosionisthe physical process in which a rock is broken apart slowly either by water, wind, or some other form of friction This process leads to changes in shape due to the environment. Most rocks that are observed are eroded in some way, whether they are at the beach or on the side of the road, and it is all in response to their environment.
7) The earth is evolving. It is an example of continuous change and failure and success.Thereisnobetterexampleofevolutionthanthisbody.
WorksCited
“Homeostasis.”EncyclopædiaBritannica,EncyclopædiaBritannica,inc.,22Oct.2024, www.britannica.com/science/homeostasis.
Klein,Cornelis,andBarbaraDutrow.MineralScience.23rded.,JohnWiley&SonsInc.,2007.
Lunine,Jonathan,etal.“AccretionoftheEarlyEarth.”EncyclopædiaBritannica,Encyclopædia Britannica,inc.,18Nov.2024,www.britannica.com/place/Earth/Accretion-of-the-early Earth.
“Mineral.”EncyclopædiaBritannica,EncyclopædiaBritannica,inc.,12Nov.2024, www.britannica.com/science/mineral-chemical-compound.
“NASAAstrobiology.”NASA,NASA,astrobiology.nasa.gov/education/alp/characteristics-of life/.Accessed19Nov.2024.
Perkins,Lori.“NASAScientificVisualizationStudio.”NASA,NASA,9Oct.2024, svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/3947.
“RockCycle.”UnderstandingGlobalChange,11Sept.2020,ugc.berkeley.edu/background content/rock-cycle/.
your eyes are too cold but my body is used to i want to leave, how?
soft whispers ignite bodies speak in quiet tones the world fades away la ternura me entra por los poros, no paro de temblar something is growling only when your touch lingers for you i am starved S E X H A I K U S I V
THEEMPRESS
KelseySimler
Pencilonpaper.
2024
This drawing is my own rendition of the third major arcana Tarot card, The Empress, which symbolizes the divine feminine qualities within all of us. The Empress is an embodiment of creative, nurturing, compassionate, life supporting energy I drew The Empress as a tree, because whenIamspendingtimeinnatureIfeelthemostintunewith my energy, as well as that of every other being. We are all connectedandinterdependentoneachother Noonebody –human body, animal body, plant body, water body, energy body,etc–isasindividualaswemayperceiveittobe. ThebodyofatreespeakstothetruthofTheEmpresscard, becauseofhowtreesconnectthroughtheirrootsandprovide nutrients to other plants and organisms in the soil. Trees are notindividualbeings,andthelifeofaforest,anecosystem,is dependent on their networked community I also love how trees show us that they can only grow as tall as the roots burrow deep. The deeper we connect to our true self, which is in fact not a completely individual "self" at all, the more alignedwearewithpurpose,inspiration,andcommunity,and the more we can create a life of our choosing. Our roots penetrate the shadows of our ancestral lineage, childhoods, and unconscious energy, asking for our acknowledgement andcompassionsothatwemaystrengthenourtrunks,reach ourbrancheshigherabove,andbloominvibrantgrowth This means that the parts of ourselves we deem most ugly and unwanted deserve to be embraced with love, and this embrace is necessary for true growth We are all The Empress,andweareallthebodyofatree.
IAMTHE WORLD
Poem
by Nach Insaurralde 2024
Floodedbythetasteofyam, mytongueboils. Imakemybedeverysingleday, Ilightitonfireatnight andwakeonthetallgrass.
TheWorldbitesdownonmybody; theyareasnake,eternalandwise. TheyspeakinwhispersandIhear. Itraceasensitivefinger overeverysharptoothmarkandpray: Ilearn,Ilearn,Ilearn. IcannotrecoverallthatIhavelost. TheWorldunravelsandswallowsme, theyhugmeandIdon’tknowwhatIhavedone todeservefeelingtheirbreathing, ortheslowbeatoftheirpulse, orthewarmthoftheirgazeresting overmyinhibitedposture. Butjustastheyhuggedmemomentsago, theycontinued,ontohugthenextbody.
IwishIcouldsayIlearnedsomething, thatIobservedsomewhisperedsecret emanatingfromthatbreast thatnourishedallthebreasts. Thatinthecoldlightreflectedontheirwaves, cloudsandmountains, Ifoundillumination.
Butinsteadofdirectingthereligiousmasses, Isitinmyroom,alone.
Myskinitches asifshewassheddingfromherself. Myhairsfall.IlosethemlikeIlosesleep, slowlyandcausingmymotherworry. Ifillthespaceinmyheadwithsomethingelse, Imakeroom.
Adeepbreathchangesmywholebeing. IneverycornerIturnintoanewbody. Iamthewitchwiththeapple, theslut,thelustfilleddreamer, thetrashcollector. Iamtheabsentfather, theshadowandthelightthatcaststheshadow, theberryandthemouththateatsit. Iamthewatchfuleye, thepriestcondemningthedamned andforgivingtheregretful Iamtheblessedmother, wombandheartIpray: Ilove,Ilove,Ilove
TomorrowI’llbetheWorld.
WithmybreastsIwillnourishallthebreasts. Withmywaves,cloudsandmountains, Iwillilluminatethewise, andfrommybody,whisperedsecretswillemanate.
TomorrowIwillunderstand: thewholeWorldcanfitinmyarms ifIsimplymakeroom.
Ilistentotheecho,heprays: Iturn,Iturn,Iturn.
Andsothosebodiesthathavefitbetweenmylongarms, thathavebeenkissedbysupplelips, orseenthemselvestangledinlong,silky,darkhair, thebodieslostinoceanicdepths, thebodiesfallentoillness, decomposingintheearth, theybecomeme.
Iamtheamethyst,thetransmuter,thesacredflame, thephilosopher'sstone,transforming.
Iamthebridgebetweenwhatabodyis andwhatitwillbecome, IamtheWorld.
Ileadthebodiesinprayer: Ilearn,Ilearn,Ilearn. Ilove,Ilove,Ilove. Iturn,Iturn,Iturn.
more, more, more, more, more please, i starve for your touch, more do not, don’t let go will you promise to always and forever, you hold me, without fear swept up by your grace please please please don’t make me chase i just love your face if my body could flow like rivers, it would unbegrudgingly
S E X H A I K U S V
contributors
Carmiña Goya ‘25 is double majoring in Art History and Studio Art As an Argentinian, Carmiña is interested in issues surrounding body politics and resistance in her culture and the history of her people.
Reimund Gustafson ‘27 is interested in equity in healthcare He is majoring in psychology and political science.
Eliza Brown ‘25 is allegedly a mathematician but spends her time in public service obligations. She is the President of SLU Dems, President of PPGA, VP of Advocates, and Finance and Development Director of College Democrats of New York
Cedar Young ‘24 is majoring in environmental studies/government. She is a part of advocacy clubs on campus, including being the VP of PPGA, Secretary of SLU Democrats, and Secretary of the Advocates
Alice Yuchang Zhang ‘25 is majoring in psychology and philosophy. She is interested in self-expression, ethics, and philosophical approaches to mental health.
Lucy Postizzi ‘26 is majoring in studio art and anthropology. She is interested in queer and women’s visibility
Kelsey Simler’25 is a senior majoring in conservation biology and minoring in gender studies She is interested in a spiritual connection to nature that heals and transforms egocentric ways of being
theteam
copy editors
Gabriella Reynolds is a senior majoring in global studies and minoring in gender and sexuality studies. They are interested in the rights and liberties of queer groups and feminist politics.
Allison House
is a junior double majoring in geology and mathematics. She is interested in leadership, body issues, and feminism in the field of science
managing editors
Indi Claxton
is a junior majoring in sociology and double minoring in philosophy and gender & sexuality studies They are particularly drawn to human rights and gaining perspective regarding differing identities
Jordan Kulbe
Is a senior majoring in conservation biology with a minor in African studies She is passionate about the intersectionality of feminist, queer and ecological issues
editor-in-chief
Nach Insaurralde
is a senior majoring in anthropology and minoring in gender studies They are interested in historical memory, gender diversity, identity, justice. They are the founder of COARSE
COARSE is an independent publication brought to you by The Dub, the feminist resource center at St. Lawrence University. Canton, N.Y., U.S.A. Fall 2024 issue.
