Night Vale Podcast Zine - This is a story about you by M Z

Which brings us to now 13 13 13 To this story this this 13 13 13this This story about you 13 13 13 You are this this listening to the radio 13 13 13isThe announcer isis thirteen is talking about you 13 13 13 episode isis 13 13 a13 welcome to night vale 13 13 13 this is a storyaabout aa you 13 13 13 night is your favorite time 13 13a 13 it is telling Aa story about you 13 13 13 your story at last 13 13 13 your heart pounds 13 13 13 andstory then you are alone 13 13 story 13 this has been yourstory 13 13 13 a story story story about you 13 13 13 Which brings us to now 13 13 13 To this story 13 13 13 This story about you 13 13 13 You are listeningabout to the radio 13 13 13 The announcer is talkingabout about you about about 13 13 13 episode thirteen 13 13 13 welcome to night vale 13 13 13 this is a story about you 13 you 13 13 night isyou your youyoufavorite time 13 13 13 it is you telling a story about you 13 13 13 your story

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This is a story about

you

said the man on the radio he on t air

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

YOU WERE

PLEASED PLEASED PLEASED ALWAYS ALWAYS YOU ALWAYS WANTED WANTEDTO WANTED HEAR HEARABOUT HEAR

YOURSELF YOURSELF YOURSELF

ON THE RADIO welcome to night vale

You live in a trailer out near the Car Lot next to Old Woman Josie’s house You’re not a terrible neighbor as far as it goes

At night you can see the red light blinking on and off on top of the radio tower A tiny flurry of human activity against the impeccable backdrop of stars and void

You’ll sit out on the steps of your trailer, with your back to the brightness of the Car Lot, watching the radio tower for hours

But only sometimes Mostly, you do other things

This story is about you

You didn’t always live in Night Vale... You lived somewhere else where there were more trees, more water You wrote direct mail campaigns for companies selling their products

Dear resident, Finally, some good news in this dreary world! At last, a reason not to kill yourself!

DELETE THAT and WRITE SOMETHING ELSE, Then you would

and it would be sent out, and it would not be read by anyone You had a friend, and then a girlfriend, and then a fiancée

THE SAME PERSON! ! !

You often touched

One day you were walking from the glass box of your office to your old Ford Probe and a vision came to you. You saw above you a planet of awesome size lit by no sun. An invisible titan, all thick black forests and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans...

It was so far away

So desolate

And so impossibly

terrifyingly

dark

And that day you did not go home. You drove instead. You drove a long time and eventually you ended up in Night Vale, and you stopped driving.

You have been haunted ever since by how easy it was to walk away from your life, and how few the repercussions were You never heard from your fiancée or your job again They never looked for you which doesn’t seem likely or maybe it’s that...

IN NIGHT VALE YOU CANNOT BE FOUND

The lack of consequence

The complete freedom It terrifies you

You have a new job now Every day except Sunday you drive out into the Sand Wastes and there you find two trucks. You move wooden crates from one truck to another while a man in a suit silently watches. It is a different man each time

k it c

imes

Somet

s e t a he cr

Mostly, they do not...

When you are done the man in the suit hands you an amount of cash, also different each time, and you go home

It is the best job you’ve ever had

Except today…it was different As had NEVER happened before, the man in the suit received a phone call. He walked off at some distance to take it

an impulse

an awful impulse

came over you reason

in this life

and for no other

than that you are

trapped freedom by the

to do

anything You took one of the crates and put it in your trunk

you

drove home

with the crate in

your trunk

When you got home you took the crate into your trailer and left it in the kitchen

THE

MAKE

…___…

…

_ …

__ …

It made no sound at all

…

_ _ _

…___…

… _ __

breathing OUT

…

The red light on the tower blinked on and off in your peripheral vision

a message

that was there and then wasn’t, and that you could never quite read

__… …_ __… …_ …___…

… _

…___…

…

_ _ _

…___…

breathing in

SOUND

_ …

Nothing made a sound except you

TICKING … _

… … _ __

NOT

DID

…

CRATE

You wondered how long it would take them to miss the crate? You did not wonder who were

‘they’

Some mysteries aren’t questions to be answered, but just the kind of opaque fact – a thing which exists to be not known

AND THEN YOU HEAR SOMETHING ELSE

a guttural

howl

YOU KNOW THAT THE CRATE’S ABSENCE

HAS BEEN DISCOVERED

Which brings us to now To this story

This story about you to the radio You are listening

THE ANNOUNCER IS TALKING

about

you

The crate

– well, it sits. That’s all On the kitchen floor

That’s all

It’s warm, warmer than the air around it. It smells sharp and earthy like freshly ground cinnamon When you put your ear against the rough warm wood you hear a soft humming

an indistinct melody It does not appear to be difficult to open

You

do not

open it You decide

instead,

to go to the Moonlite All-Nite Diner and have

a slice of pie

The wind is hot, like always, and smells like honey and mud

Night

is your

favorite time

Life Life has has become become out out of of focus focus Life has become out of focus

free of consequence

As you drive you turn off the headlights for a moment At that moment,

ow, n y a ain aw g r a a l f e n e ed ns. jagg t ocea ht on you f u, not eve me size, d len is nlig s an o o rest , turbu t moo planet y s o f e e k p n fai lac the ces dee abov net of aw ck b s and but the know en spa i h t all ntain hing you nse la p ou e not rd, but n the u t a m th se oa gi un s You dashb yawnin o r n you here – t lit by out

n a t i t ible

is v n i An

The moment passes You turn your headlights back on and all you see is a road. Just asphalt. Just that The Moonlite All-Nite is radiant. A slab of light in the warm darkness

Moonlit

e Diner

e all-nit

You order a slice of strawberry pie The radio speaks soothingly to you from static-y speakers set into a foam tile ceiling It is telling a story about you

Your

STORY

at last! A man slides into the booth across from you. It is that man who appeared to be of Slavic origin but who

dressed as an Indian chief and called himself

the Apache Tracker Except now...He has actually transformed into a Native American?

You wonder if the pie will get there soon?

The Apache Tracker smells of potting soil and sweat. He leans across the table and touches your hand lightly

YOU ARE IN DANGER” he says, THEY’RE COMING YOU IN “Вы опасности, “Они идут. ” THEY’RE COMING YOU вARE ARE IN DANGER DANGER THEY’RE COMING

He taps the table

You nod? Then, he leans down and taps the ground

You nod again?

“I think my pie is here now,”

you say unnecessarily, as the pie is quite visibly placed in front of you

You did not order invisible pie

You hate invisible pie He looks at the pie for a long time and then lets his breath hiss out slowly through his nose

THEY WILL COME FROM BELOW. PIES WILL NOT HELP” THEY COME FROM PIES WILL NOT “Они придут Пироги помогут. THEY WILL WILL COMEснизу. FROM BELOW. BELOW. PIESне WILL NOT HELP HELP

He leaves

What an @$$hole that guy is!

There once was a time that we knew damn well we'd be wise beyond our years now we're old and it seems we're getting dumber there once was a rhyme that would bring peacefulness to both of our ears but this music lets us know that we're not getting any younger my mother would not be proud of my mouth but I can get a sense out that is sac-religious without sounding like a sailor every time i go home for the holiday and tell her how its been the hurt ? it's obvious I have failed her but you don't know no you can't go where I’ve been and I don't know no I'll never get where I'm going cause ever day I hear somebody saying something like yeah I just got back from China backpacking and feeding food to children I have never strayed too far away from this east coast where I remain in my heard I am so envious I could kill them and I am running out of time to do the things that I said I was put on this earth to do by God and His heaven seems that I believed in something then dear Lord what happened to my head now the days go by so fast I have no time to let 'em sink in but you don't know no you can't go where I’ve been and I don't know no I'll never get where I'm going and you don't know no you can't go where I’ve been and I don't know no I'll never get where I'm going There once was a time that we knew damn well we’d be wise beyond our years now we’re old and it seems we’re getting dumber there once was a rhyme that would bring peacefulness to both of our ears but this music lets us know that we’re not getting any younger my mother would not be proud of my mouth but I can get a sense out that is sac-religious without sounding like a sailor every time i go home for the holiday and tell her how its been the hurt ? it’s obvious I have failed her but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going cause ever day I hear somebody saying something like yeah I just got back from China backpacking and feeding food to children I have never strayed too far away from this east coast where I remain in my heard I am so envious I could kill them and I am running out of time to do the things that I said I was put on this earth to do by God and His heaven seems that I believed in something then dear Lord what happened to my head now the days go by so fast I have no time to let ‘em sink in but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going and you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going There once was a time that we knew damn well we’d be wise beyond our years now we’re old and it seems we’re getting dumber there once was a rhyme that would bring peacefulness to both of our ears but this music lets us know that we’re not getting any younger my mother would not be proud of my mouth but I can get a sense out that is sac-religious without sounding like a sailor every time i go home for the holiday and tell her how its been the hurt ? it’s obvious I have failed her but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going cause ever day I hear somebody saying something like yeah I just got back from China backpacking and feeding food to children I have never strayed too far away from this east coast where I remain in my heard I am so envious I could kill them and I am running out of time to do the things that I said I was put on this earth to do by God and His heaven seems that I believed in something then dear Lord what happened to my head now the days go by so fast I have no time to let ‘em sink in but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going and you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going There once was a time that we knew damn well we’d be wise beyond our years now we’re old and it seems we’re getting dumber there once was a rhyme that would bring peacefulness to both of our ears but this music lets us know that we’re not getting any younger my mother would not be proud of my mouth but I can get a sense out that is sac-religious without sounding like a sailor every time i go home for the holiday and tell her how its been the hurt ? it’s obvious I have failed her but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going cause ever day I hear somebody saying something like yeah I just got back from China backpacking and feeding food to children I have never strayed too far away from this east coast where I remain in my heard I am so envious I could kill them and I am running out of time to do the things that I said I was put on this earth to do by God and His heaven seems that I believed in something then dear Lord what happened to my head now the days go by so fast I have no time to let ‘em sink in but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going and you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going There once was a time that we knew damn well we’d be wise beyond our years now we’re old and it seems we’re getting dumber there once was a rhyme that would bring peacefulness to both of our ears but this music lets us know that we’re not getting any younger my mother would not be proud of my mouth but I can get a sense out that is sac-religious without sounding like a sailor every time i go home for the holiday and tell her how its been the hurt ? it’s obvious I have failed her but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going cause ever day I hear somebody saying something like yeah I just got back from China backpacking and feeding food to children I have never strayed too far away from this east coast where I remain in my heard I am so envious I could kill them and I am running out of time to do the things that I said I was put on this earth to do by God and His heaven seems that I believed in something then dear Lord what happened to my head now the days go by so fast I have no time to let ‘em sink in but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going and you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going There once was a time that we knew damn well we’d be wise beyond our years now we’re old and it seems we’re getting dumber there once was a rhyme that would bring peacefulness to both of our ears but this music lets us know that we’re not getting any younger my mother would not be proud of my mouth but I can get a sense out that is sac-religious without sounding like a sailor every time i go home for the holiday and tell her how its been the hurt ? it’s obvious I have failed her but you don’t know no you can’t go where I’ve been and I don’t know no I’ll never get where I’m going cause ever day I hear somebody saying something like yeah I just got back from China backpacking and feeding food to children I have never strayed too far away from this east coast where I remain in my heard I am so envious I could kill them and I am running out of time to do the things that I said I was put on this earth to do by God and His heaven seems that I believed in something then dear Lord what happened to my head now the days go by so fast I have no time to let ‘em sink in but you don’t know no you can’t go

“Check please,”

You say,

whispering it into your drinking glass as is custom

and then lifting the tray of sugar packets to find it filled out and ready to be paid

You drop a few dollars onto the check,

place it back under the sugars,

wait for the sound of swallowing,

and leave the diner

As you start the car the man on the

radio

weather

says something about the

“You Don’t Know” by Mount Moon

The crate is in your kitchen where you left it, and you get down on your knees to embrace it more fully

It has grown warmer –

even hot

Your

It still is not ticking

heart

pounds you grab the crate and throw it in your trunk. You turn the ignition and your car radio comes alive with a pop

just as the announcer says that your car radio comes alive with a pop

Where to now? You don’t know, but you go there anyway A pair of headlights, a pair of eyes, and two shaky hands, speeding through the silent town Behind you, you see helicopter searchlights sweeping down onto your trailer 5 6

There are sirens A PURPLISH CLOUD hangs over the town glittering occasionally as it rotates

The whole works

Moving farther out following the pull of the distant, uncertain moon, you pass by the Car Lot And the town is behind you, and you are out in the Scrub Lands, and the Sand Wastes

And then you are alone

Just you and the desert You stop the car and get out. Pebbles crunch in the sand in response to your movement

The radio murmurs

behind the closed doors of the car. The headlights illuminate only a few stray plants and the wide eyes of some nocturnal animal Looking back, you see the bulge of light that is

your Night Vale

The

purple

cloud

now floating over the heart of the city reaches its tendrils in and out of buildings YOU HEAR SCREAMS AND GUNFIRE

You open the trunk and lay one hand on the crate

IT PULSES WITH SOME KIND OF LIFE

STILL NO TICKING THOUGH

You look back Several buildings are on fire. Crowds of people are floating in the air, held aloft by beams of light, and struggling feebly against powers they cannot begin to understand. The ground shifts like it was startled

It’s so quiet

when it finally comes You see the black car long before it arrives. It comes to a halt nearby and two men step out

You don’t runNeither do they “How did you find me?” “Everything you do is being

broadcast on the radio

for some reason. That made it pretty easy”

“Yeah, I see that now” “You have the item?” the man who is not tall asks...

YOU SAY

nothing

“Even easier,”

The man who is not tall signals the man who is not short and he walks past you, looks into your trunk, and nods

says the man who is not tall

There is an unexpected click One of the rear doors of the black car has opened and your

fiancée

has stepped out

She does not appear to have aged, but then, you can’t actually remember how long it has been. Could it have been last week? Or was it ten years ago?

“Why?” she says,

“Why? Why?” You don’t know what to say

The man who is not short steps up to you and PUTS A KNIFE AGAINST YOUR THROAT. Nobody says anything. Your fiancée shakes her head

Her eyes are empty

Broken

Gushing

THE RADIO IS SAYING ALL OF THIS AS IT HAPPENS You hear it dimly through the car door

You can’t stop smiling

All at once

the consequences All at once you are

no longer free All at once It’s all coming back around

Life – bleary, washed-out – snaps back into focus. The red light on the tower still blinks in the distance and every message in this world has a meaning

IT ALL MAKES SENSE AND YOU ARE FINALLY BEING PUNISHED

You can’t think of a time you have ever been happier

Your fiancée abruptly gets back into the car. Neither of the men seem to notice her

One opens the crate with a couple quick taps and pulls out of it an

intricate miniature house

The hours that must have been spent building it! Every detail is accounted for! Inside the house you think you see for a moment

lights and movement

“Undamaged,”says the man who is not tall

YOU BEAM AT HIM

The knife presses harder against your throat but it doesn’t hurt. Your eyes wander up and you see above you the dark planet of awesome size perched in its sunless void, an invisible titan, all thick black forests and jagged mountains and deep, turbulent oceans

A monster

Spinning

Soundless

Forgotten

It’s so close now You see it just above you. Maybe even if you tried very hard you could touch it

You reach up…

This has been your story

The radio moves onto other things – news, traffic, political opinions, and corrections to political opinions But there was a time one day, one single day, in which it was ONLY ONE STORY

A story about you

And you were pleased, because you always wanted to hear about yourself

on the

radio Background Illustration Design and Photo Credits: Joel Gomez / Deviant Art Freepik Harryarts / Freepik Starline / Freepik Creative_hat / Freepik Ijeab / Freepik Kjpargeter / Freepik

Which brings us to now 13 13 13 To this story this this 13 13 13this This story about you 13 13 13 You are this this listening to the radio 13 13 13isThe announcer isis thirteen is talking about you 13 13 13 episode isis 13 13 a13 welcome to night vale 13 13 13 this is a storyaabout aa you 13 13 13 night is your favorite time 13 13a 13 it is telling Aa story about you 13 13 13 your story at last 13 13 13 your heart pounds 13 13 13 andstory then you are alone 13 13 story 13 this has been yourstory 13 13 13 a story story story about you 13 13 13 Which brings us to now 13 13 13 To this story 13 13 13 This story about you 13 13 13 YouGoodarenight,listening to the radio about Night Vale 13 13 13 The announcer is talkingabout about you about about 13 13 13 episode thirteen 13 13 13 welcome to Good night night vale 13 13 13 this is a story about you 13 you 13 13 night isyou your youyoufavorite time 13 13 13 it is you telling a story about you 13 13 13 your story