COVER STORY
Real life in your sixties, seventies – and beyond! The norms of what was considered acceptable when we were growing up have changed. MARION KERR comes out of the closet and into the new millennium to discuss the contemporary nature of mature-aged relationships.
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octors and psychologists working in geriatrics are uniform in their contention that a continuing sex life is important for good health. It causes the brain to release endorphins that reduce anxiety and engender intimacy and trust to a relationship, stimulates hormones and – it’s claimed – can even add years to your life.
It’s not all wine and roses though because the occurrence of sexually transmissible infections (STIs) in Over 60s is surprisingly high. Sociologist Dr. Sue Malta, co-author of an article entitled Yes, Older People are having sex – we need to talk about it (University of Melbourne, April 11, 2021) says a more open social attitude to sex is
changing the way we see ourselves as sexual beings. Many older singles today connect through online dating sites where they know nothing about the men and women they date, nor how many other sexual partners those people might have. So women today who think they are going to have sex should carry vaginal gel and a condom, Dr. Malta says.
Not the stuff of romance, on which my generation was raised. But as the article makes clear, it’s important for we mature age lovebirds to have frank and fearless consultations with our health practitioners to ensure that sexual health issues don’t impact on our general health. Yes, we have the experience. But we may need to update our knowledge of what constitutes safe sex. That, at least, is what my own doctor told me when I went to see her and asked the question: What advice would you give me if I told you I was about to have sex again? “Enjoy,” she said without a trace of incredulity. “But take it gentle and slow. No acrobatics!”. When one year ago I found myself a widow at the age of 75, sex was the last thing on my mind. Within three months, however, I received a sexual advance from a male friend slightly younger than myself. And suddenly there I was, in the Brave New World of sex and dating for seniors! Brave, because the bodies that served us so well in youth are no longer lithe and firm. And because for those who have suffered the loss of a long-term partner through death or divorce, this is perilous ground and wherever you step the land is mined. That’s partly what makes it so exciting. “It’s like being 16 all over again,” says Jeannie B, 66, who, when interviewed, had just returned to her Sunshine Coast home from a trip to Norfolk Island with one of her three “best beaux” as she calls her men friends. Jeannie’s husband died of a heart attack five years ago. She grieved for a year – “EXACTLY a year,” she says, “Like an old-fashioned widow”
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Phone: 07 5493 8038 | www.scorthogroup.com.au 4 YOUR TIME MAGAZINE / May 2022
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