Women's Equality in the Home

WOMEN'S EQUALITY

IN THE HOME

IN THIS ISSUE

Do We Want Sameness or Equality in Our Homes?

Equality as sameness is a narrow binary that doesn’t get at the heart of the problems it seeks to overcome.

By Ilana Reimer

But Who Makes the Final Decision?

The practical implications of a marriage where both the husband and wife share leadership and decision-making responsibility.

By Kara Angus

Paying Attention to Fatherhood: Why I Stepped Down from Pastoral Ministry

Being a father means not just hoping for a world where our wives and daughters can flourish but helping to create that world.

ByTouger Thao

How the New Testament Turned Marriage in the Ancient

World on Its “Head”

What if Paul was writing not to redeem patriarchy but to overthrow it?

By Scott Goode

Caregiving and Gender Equity in Interabled Relationships

Hierarchical, patriarchal models of marriage don’t account for how human bodies work, slow down, ache, bend, and break.

By Kailey Bradley

A Single Testimony Changes Generations

We become like what we see. How one mother’s humble leadership shaped her children and helped them thrive.

By Natasha Sistrunk Robinson

Mutuality is published quarterly by CBE International, 122 W Franklin Ave, Suite 218; Minneapolis, MN 55404-2451.

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DEPARTMENT

3 From the Editor

Embrace Biblical Women's Equality to Improve the Daily Life of Your Marriage

19 Giving Opportunites

30 President's Message

Christian Marriages through Time: A Brief Historical Review

32 Ministry News

34 Praise and Prayer

EDITORIAL STAFF

Editor: Sarabeth Ng

Graphic Designer: Margaret Lawrence

Publisher/President: Mimi Haddad

Mutuality vol. 30 no. 1, Spring 2023

Cover design by Margaret Lawrence

Mutuality (ISSN: 1533-2470) offers articles from diverse writers who share egalitarian theology and explore its intersection with everyday life.

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From the Editor by Sarabeth Ng

Embrace Biblical Women's Equality to Improve the Daily Life of Your Marriage

“Pray about it, listen to the Holy Spirit, and respect that the Bible is the word of God.”

This is the advice that the premarital counselors gave to my then-fiancé and me when we got to the chapter in our (complementarian) workbook on the different “gender roles” God had supposedly created for husbands and wives.

Roles. That’s a word we try to avoid here at CBE and in Mutuality. It subtly enforces the idea that God prescribes certain duties and functions and gifts to women, and others to men, and these do not overlap. Within that belief, women perform all household tasks. Meanwhile, men act almost as angel investors (think Shark Tank) in their own homes—offering financial support, the tie-breaking vote in disagreements, and mic-drop wisdom and guidance.

But at CBE we believe God has a different vision for how wives and husbands can best glorify God. Instead of struggling to fit into predefined boxes, we believe God has a tailored call for each person, based not on whether they are female or male but on the unique gifts God has instilled in each of them.

This issue marks the beginning of the thirtieth year of the publication of Mutuality magazine. To celebrate, the first three issues of 2023 will center around CBE’s mission statement:

CBE exists to promote the biblical message that God calls women and men of all cultures, races, and classes to share authority equally in service and leadership in the home, church, and world. CBE’s mission is to eliminate the power imbalance between men and women resulting from theological patriarchy.

[emphasis added]

Throughout this year, we’ll be reflecting on the progress made toward the equality of women and men in the home, church, and world.

We start at home.

The authors in this issue help us answer the question, What does it look like for women and men “to share authority equally in service and leadership in the home”? For the woman in a hierarchical, patriarchal setting, the journey toward biblical women’s equality often begins at home, in her marriage. Her husband may be the first man to respect, validate, and empower her. Her husband may be the one person she can safely go to with her questions about complementarian theology, even if her husband is

complementarian himself. Or her husband may be the one who makes her realize that theological patriarchy subtly makes room for abuse, and that’s not okay.

For women and men taught a restrictive understanding of the vision God has for husbands and wives, marriage can be a sort of testing ground for egalitarian theology. The articles in this issue feature snapshots of egalitarian theology in action. If you’re not quite sure about this whole equality/mutuality thing, I hope this issue helps you find some practical answers to your questions. The authors in this issue help us understand that embodying restrictive, prescriptive roles based solely on each spouse’s gender is not the best way to glorify God at home and beyond.

At the same time, these authors show us that living as equals at home does not look the same for every couple. Embracing an ethic of women’s biblical equality is less about who does the laundry or who earns more money and more about each spouse empowering the other to glorify God by creating opportunities for each other to learn, grow, and thrive.

We begin with Ilana Reimer, who reminds us that equality and sameness are two different things. Next, Kara Angus invites us to ponder the question that is so easy to get stuck on: Who makes the final decision in a marriage of equality? In a reprinted article from the Spring 2017 issue of Mutuality, Touger Thao gives us a peek into the difficult choice between ministry and family—and how family can become your ministry. For those wanting a deeper dive into the Bible passages that often get bashed over women, Scott Goode invites us to consider the cultural context of the first-century Greco-Roman world in which Paul wrote, particularly as it pertains to the theology of headship, if such a thing even exists. Kailey Bradley paints for us a picture of marriage where human bodies are allowed to slow down, ache, bend, and break. Then, Natasha Sistrunk Robinson, in a reprinted article from the Summer 2015 issue of Mutuality, gives us a hopeful glimpse into the lasting impact that a marriage of equals can have on their children and community. Finally, Mimi Haddad walks us through a brief but thorough history of egalitarian marriages in the Christian church.

Thank you for joining us as we embark on the thirtieth year of Mutuality. May we take everything we’ve learned over the last thirty years with us as we push toward another thirty years of helping women and men see that God’s good, beautiful, true design is equality, and God’s love and gifts are not dependent on whether we’re women or men.

Do We Want Sameness or Equality in Our Homes?

By Ilana Reimer

As part of marriage counselling before we got engaged, my husband and I each had to complete a questionnaire. It included a list of household chores where we ticked off who we expected would do what. We filled in everything equally. I felt satisfaction at the thought of marrying an enlightened man who had no illusions about a housewife who’d always have supper waiting.

“He’s cooking dinner tonight,” I’d tell my friends after we were married, flexing his domesticity. But although there was no expectation for who would do what, I noticed dust bunnies and dirty sinks sooner than he did. I had no special folding gene; I took no secret delight in a neat stack of shirts. Why was I the one to see the laundry and decide it had better be folded before I curled up with a book?

We eventually realized the problem wasn’t to do with laziness on his part or particular saintliness on my part. He’d get focused on a project and not see the dishes until they were in the way. Meanwhile, I’d try to write but get distracted because the floor needed vacuuming.

We’ve since developed different habits for completing chores. What has been harder for me to accept is that it doesn’t matter whether our contributions fall into stereotypically gendered categories. That’s a superficial way of measuring the genuine equality of a marriage.

The asymmetry between women and men is uncomfortable and has complex implications. The tension between equality and difference has been much debated in feminist thinking and is an inevitable issue in marriage. It’s natural to equate sameness with fairness and equality, but we must always ask: same as what? Sameness can either diminish individual uniqueness or encourage one sex to mimic the other.

While overemphasizing differences is unhelpful, it’s important to acknowledge them and shape our definition of equality in such a way as fits the needs of both women and men. Scientists have disproved simplistic ideas about “female brains” and “male brains,” yet it is still true that men are more likely to compartmentalize different areas of life whereas, for women, everything is

The asymmetry between women and men is uncomfortable and has complex implications.

usually interconnected.1 A good illustration of this is a 2014 study measuring how cognition changes over time. The study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that while improved living conditions led to higher performance in both sexes, they benefitted women more significantly.2

Let me offer another example, not as a blanket statement for what women or men want, but as an illustration that they may want some things differently. A 2015 Gallup poll found that far more mothers with children under eighteen would prefer to be at home (56 percent) when compared to fathers (25 percent).3 There are many reasons why more women want to stay home while their kids are young—motherly desire to be with their children, yes—but also workplace discrimination, inadequate childcare options, or the mental load of trying to run a household and work at the same time.

Yet these numbers should still give us pause. It’s okay if our desires align with a stereotyped tradition, just as it’s okay if they do not. For some, dividing financial and caregiving responsibilities in half might work well, but it shouldn’t be the ideal standard. That kind of split won’t reflect the reality or desires of some (likely most) couples.

Equality between women and men as sameness is a narrow binary that doesn’t get at the heart of the

While overemphasizing differences is unhelpful, it’s important to acknowledge them and shape our definition of equality in such a way as fits the needs of both women and men.

problems it seeks to overcome. Instead, both partners need equal decision-making power so resolutions about who does what are made together, in the best interest of both people. That’s the secret sauce, regardless of how a marriage appears on the outside.

We cannot fully celebrate who God created us to be if we smooth over our complexities and demean differences. It’s in the process of listening and discovering each other’s needs and desires that we inch toward better, truer love. In the ebb and flow of life, there was a year when I was the primary earner so my husband could

1. Stephanie Pappas, “Your Brain Is a Mosaic of Male and Female,” LiveScience, 1 December 2015, https://www.livescience. com/52941-brain-is-mix-male-and-female.html.

2. Daniela Weber et al, “The changing face of cognitive gender differences in Europe,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 111, no. 32 (2014): 11673–8, https://www.pnas.org/doi/ full/10.1073/pnas.1319538111.

3. Lydia Saad, “Children a Key Factor in Women’s Desire to Work Outside the Home,” Gallup, 7 October 2015, https://news.gallup. com/poll/186050/children-key-factor-women-desire-workoutside-home.aspx.

focus on making a career change from teaching to the film industry. Now, he earns more while I pursue a few writing projects that cannot be relied upon to put food on the table.

The reciprocal nature of love requires valuing the other’s contributions, even when they are different from our own. This lifelong view of giving and receiving is richer than trying to divide everything evenly. Differences aren’t threats; they are puzzle pieces. We may try to stick them in the wrong places at first, but if we keep at it, they’ll fit together with a satisfying click.

Ilana Reimer has written for Faith Today, Breaking Ground, Ekstasis, and other publications. She is the editor of Love Is Moving magazine and publishes a blog called Curious Faith. Ilana is also a NextGEN Fellow at Cardus, a Christian think tank. She lives in Ottawa, Ontario, with her husband.

It’s in the process of listening and discovering each other’s needs and desires that we inch toward better, truer love.

But Who Makes the Final Decision?

By Kara Angus

“Who makes the ��nal decision?” my husband and I asked each other as we worked on dinner one evening.

We agreed that our premarital counseling and the messages on marriage we had heard all taught that the husband held the authority to veto or make an ultimate decision. But at the time of our discussion we were eleven years into marriage and had always made our decisions together. We wondered if the Bible explicitly gave husbands the ��nal say in decision making, or had the Christian teachers around us simply o�fered one possible interpretation? If we did ��nd verses that explicitly gave husbands the ��nal say, how would that change our daily life?

Having a Biblical Marriage Mattered to Us

We took this discussion seriously because we were fully committed to the Bible. We had heard that marriages of mutuality were bowing to cultural demands in a bid for equality. They were full of desperate grapples for rights and spread-out power dynamics. Our church, mentors, and peers had taught us that marriages with mutually deferential spouses led to the husband abdicating his God-given authority and the wife domineering in a bid to seize power. It was the craftily manipulated role reversal story as old as creation itself—men refusing to lead and women desiring to dominate.

our marriage unbiblical? We both sought guidance from the Holy Spirit. Frequently, we communicated our wants, desires, expectations, and needs. We tabled big decisions until we were in agreement.

Was it really Christlike for my husband to get the final say in a decision—perhaps ignoring my discernment or causing me to dismiss my convictions? Did God want me to ignore my intuition and discernment to appease

found questions attempted

my husband? We found more questions than answers as we attempted to reconcile our marriage to what we were taught biblical marriage looked like.

Understanding the Complementarian View of Marriage

We started with reading complementarian articles about who had the final say. Authors and scholars cobbled together passages like Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 11,

Interpersonal Confl icts in a Hierarchical Marriage Model

Ephesians 1 11,

We discovered many interpersonal con��icts that an attitude of “husbands have the ��nal word” could not easily resolve:

• The problem of sin that we all struggle with is blissfully ignored. How exactly is the husband quali��ed to pull rank and get a ��nal say when he can’t always have pure motives and act with total sel��essness because he—like his wife—is also a sinner?

• The relational work of communication and dialogue during con��ict takes a back seat. Then, resentment can abound as the wife constantly sacri��ces and compromises.

Power imbalances can go unchecked, which is particularly harmful in an abusive marriage.

A double standard arises where women with strong beliefs have “emotional and opinionated views,” yet men with strong beliefs have “deep and thoughtful convictions.”

Women are taught they cannot trust their wisdom and intuition and must rely on a husband to make the decisions. When women are treated as if they are innately incapable, they are denied the experience of making decisions and even denied culpability for their mistakes and sins. The burden rests solely on their

The husband never has to act against his conscience. If he feels passionately about something, he can veto his wife at any time.

A focus on the husband stepping into his leadership role excludes his wife from stepping into hers. The wife ignores her spiritual gift of discernment to appease her husband and (she thinks) God.

• Spouses skip the need to pray and work thoughtfully through an issue together. They rely more on the husband’s human decision-making capabilities than on the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

• Cultural stereotypes about women and men become the norm rather than leaving room for individual personalities, strengths, and gifts. The very de��nition of manhood insists that men have innate authority built into their DNA and women have “responding to good leadership” instilled in theirs.

Colossians 3, and Hebrews 13:17. They always concluded that husband authority/wife submission was the only way to have a biblical marriage. We even heard a message that said ‘‘bedroom conversations” were in order if a marriage didn’t subscribe to complementarian theology.

And we talked it over with others. One person argued that because a marriage reflects Christ’s relationship to his church, men reflect Jesus and women reflect the church. If there was disagreement, the wife (as the church in this metaphor) would obey the husband (as Christ in this metaphor) and not vice versa because Jesus never submitted to the church. Others brought up improbable scenarios and the most extreme life situations where a decision had to be made immediately.

While we agreed that sometimes reaching a mutual agreement wasn’t doable, we wondered why we had to default to the husband making the final call. What if the wife had more experience, knowledge, or insight? Why should ultimate decision-making abilities and authority rest on the husband’s shoulders?

The default complementarian teaching about marriage seemed to have three primary conclusions:

1. Head means “leader” or “authority.”

2. Submission means obedience and is unilateral.

3. Men alone have direct authority from God to lead, ..... mediate, and answer to God for their families.

We wrestled with ideas of headship, submission, leadership, and creation order for many years. Eventually,

we started to see that whatever these Bible verses were saying, they did not explicitly grant unilateral authority to husbands over wives.

Finding Mutuality throughout the Bible

The hierarchical marriage model that complementarians championed had so many potential conflicts and subpar solutions. We still wondered, what does the Bible actually say? In complementarian arguments, we had seen the same handful of cherry-picked verses, text analysis, and circular arguments.

Looking elsewhere, we found scholars and writers giving a biblical defense of mutuality in marriage. There was plenty of abstract discussion on this side, too, but we started to see practical answers. They helped us see that the Bible does affirm mutuality between women and men—and husbands and wives. We weren’t just trying to make the Bible fit into what we already sensed and lived out; the Bible was in fact the authority to which we were submitting in our mutuality.

The Beginning: Genesis

The creation story in Genesis speaks to women and men being made equally in the image of God. This is not just some abstract idea. It carries real-world implications. God gave both the woman and the man the same commission (Gen. 1:28). They shared authority over the earth and were God’s representatives. Further, woman as ezer kenegdo was a strength corresponding to the man (Gen. 2:18). God did not make her as the man’s inferior or assistant.

We wrestled with ideas of headship, submission, leadership, and creation order for many years

. . . Whatever these Bible verses were saying, they did not explicitly grant unilateral authority to husbands over wives.

Freely Practicing Mutuality Can Lead to Healthier Marriages

We’ve found hopeful implications for our marriage as we looked to the Bible to guide our practice of making decisions together:

• We do the hard work of communicating, addressing issues, and resolving con��icts as they come up.

• We honor each other and place high value on the other’s needs, interests, opinions, and convictions.

• We honor our spiritual gifts and combine our individual strengths and interests.

• We seek to pray and make God the center of our decision making. Jesus leads and we follow.

• We respect the other’s wisdom and decision-making abilities.

• We are uni��ed as one as we are attuned to the Holy Spirit.

• We engage in the spiritual discipline of mutual submission—practicing humility and deference to one another as God commands.

• We work toward one-anothering language and actions: unity, love, and humility.

In the Gospels we see Jesus affirm and commission many women. Mary was a disciple at Jesus’s feet. Her sister Martha heard Jesus say, “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25). Mary Magdalene and the woman at the well went and shared the good news with their communities. Jesus taught women, encouraged them to believe, and expected them to be accountable for their relationship with God.

Patriarchy is a result of the fall and not God’s original design. Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection work toward the harmonious redemption of all relationships, including husbands and wives.

Women in the Bible

The Bible is full of women who made decisions independently of men/husbands—Abigail, Hannah, Ruth, and Mary the mother of Jesus, to name a few. And God rewarded them. They trusted the wisdom that God had given them.

There were also many women who led others under the authority of God (not a man or husband). Examples of such women include Deborah and Huldah.

Finally, Junia, Phoebe, Priscilla, and the women of Romans 16 led and co-labored in important church capacities alongside Paul.

Practical Teachings about Husbands and Wives— as Believers

Philippians 2:5–8 is the prime example of Christ’s voluntary mutual submission as he gave out of himself for others. It is strength and courage. It is a gospel call for all of us—women and men.

The only verse about authority in a marriage has to do with not depriving one another of physical intimacy (1 Cor. 7:4–5). There, Paul addresses the wife and husband equally. We also learned the husband is not the prophet, priest, and king of his home in 1 Peter 2:4–5,

Patriarchy is a result of the fall and not God's original design.

which speaks to the priesthood of all believers. And submission is part of Holy Spirit living (Eph. 5:18–21). It isn’t rote obedience. Submission is a spiritual discipline of reciprocity, mutuality, humility, and love. That means men should joyfully practice it too.

The theme of unity runs throughout the Bible. Unity is closely tied to every church member—including husbands and wives—utilizing their spiritual gifts and one-anothering, a theme which occurs over one hundred times in the New Testament. One-anothering language is based in love, unity, and humility. It includes giving preference to one another (Rom. 12:10), clothing ourselves in humility (1 Pet. 5:5), serving one another (Gal. 5:13), and being of the same mind with one another (Rom. 12:6; 15:5). It is reciprocal.

Stop Asking Who Makes the Final Decision

After a thorough look at the complementarian and egalitarian arguments, many conversations with friends and mentors, and a deep meditation on the whole of the Bible, we were finally convinced that God paints a beautiful and mutually beneficial way forward for marriage. Ideas of hierarchy and an insistence on who leads or follows disappeared. There is no room for that when God calls both women and men to work together in harmony.

So to those who will insist on asking the question, “But who makes the final decision?” I would say this: let’s change the question. Let’s shift the narrative. How do we as married Christian people affect change in our homes and in the world? It’s not by a man stepping up into leadership and demanding the final say or a woman stepping down into an obedient role and relinquishing her God-given capabilities. It’s not denying gifts and strengths. It’s not keeping track of who did what or served the other more.

It looks like considering each other as fully developed people, which allows the sparkles of personality, giftings, and callings to shine through. We treat each other as Jesus treated women and men—as whole people capable and gifted with wisdom and insight from him. Changing the world looks like men and women loving like Christ. It looks a lot like humility. It looks a lot like mutual servanthood and working together. It looks like giving out of our strength toward a bigger, more beautiful gospel story. It looks a lot like Christ.

Kara Angus is an avid runner, reader, and writer living in West Virginia with her husband and four children. She is passionate about women claiming their voices and having a platform to declare their love for the God who always and forever loves them.

Submission is a spiritual discipline of reciprocity, mutuality, humility, and love. That means men should joyfully practice it too.

Paying Attention to Fatherhood

Fatherhood

Why I Stepped Down from Pastoral Ministry

“Sometimes, I feel like a single mom.”

My heart sank upon hearing these words from my wife. My stomach felt so heavy it could’ve been filled with bricks.

My own father passed away when I was eight years old. I watched as my mother, a refugee from Laos who speaks little English, raised my seven siblings and me alone for a number of years until she remarried. To this day, I carry the deep pain of my father’s loss.

For years, I’ve wanted little more than to be a great father. But now I faced the reality that I had been absent from my wife and eighteenmonth-old daughter (and our brand-new daughter, who was not yet born at the time). Something had to change.

Let me back up a bit. For the past three and a half years, I’ve had the privilege of planting and pastoring a young, urban, multi-ethnic faith community in Saint Paul, Minnesota. By God’s grace, we’ve seen people who had previously given up on church proudly proclaim that they’d found a church family. We’ve seen agnostics and atheists declare faith in God because of the way our community has loved and cared for them, no matter their beliefs. We’ve seen people find meaningful spiritual friendships that they could depend upon when they went through the rough patches of life. God has been faithful and given us a lot to celebrate.

But as anyone in ministry knows, it’s not easy. Sundays are just a tiny piece of the ministry

ByTougerThao

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in the Spring 2017 issue of Mutuality. It is reprinted here as part of our celebration of thirty years of Mutuality in 2023.

life. There are the counseling sessions, the meetings, the planning, the strategizing, the sermon prep, the denominational obligations, the community networking events, and the everyday administrative tasks. These things add up. They can become all-consuming. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I was stressed, depressed, and constantly overworking. I was leading on empty. I knew I wasn’t very present with my wife and daughter, but I rationalized to myself that this was a sacrifice I needed to make to build the church. And, it was normal. Pastors are regularly overworking, and so are fathers and husbands in every type of career. We tell ourselves we’re doing it for the benefit of our families, or for some greater good. A lot of messages tell us that our most important job is to be the family breadwinner, and that we should find fulfillment in this. There are not many people calling men to step back from their careers to invest more in their families.

Yes, provision is important for a family. But that burden can be shared, and it cannot be the sum of what it means to be a father and husband. My wife needs me to be more than just a provider; she needs me to be her partner to share and do life with. My daughters need me to be more than just the one who buys them presents; they need me to be present and creating memories with them.

I believe God showed me that I have to prioritize my wife and daughters above my work as a pastor. If I could not balance ministry and family life, then I needed to let one go. It was not an easy decision, but in the end, I’d rather be a great husband and father than a great pastor. So, this winter, I submitted my resignation. A few weeks ago, I preached my last sermon.

I don’t know what my next steps are, but the one thing I know is this: from now on, I am committed to doing what it takes to be the best husband and father I can be. What does that look like?

To me, it looks like two things: presence and partnership.

Presence

Presence is all about paying attention to the moments that matter most.

Not long ago, I kissed my wife and daughter goodbye as I left for the local coffee shop to work. Usually, when I close the front door of our house, I put on my headphones and begin to listen to a podcast. On this particular morning, I paused in front of my house and looked up at the living room window. Suddenly, my daughter’s little head popped up in the window. She was grinning ear to ear as she waved at me. I smiled and just took in that precious moment. I made her day, and she made mine.

How many moments like that have I missed because I haven’t paid attention? How many memories were not created because I was listening to the radio, TV, or podcasts instead of listening to my daughter’s voice? How many precious moments were lost because I was so focused on my work?

A father and husband cannot just go to work and come home and exist in the same place as his family. He has to be present. He has to pay attention to the small things; they are the biggest, most important things.

Partnership

For me, a huge part of being a good father is being a good partner to my wife. Partners share each other’s burdens and support each other’s dreams.

I’ve known my wife since kindergarten. And since kindergarten, she has wanted to be a musician. She has wanted to create songs to share with the world. For so long, we’ve been waiting until the “right” time for her to do that. Now is the time. She has supported me

and sacrificed for me as I’ve pursued my calling into ministry. Now it’s my turn to make sacrifices for her, so she has the time and space to pursue her dream as well.

To make that happen, I spend as much time at home as possible, sharing the everyday burdens: laundry, cooking, changing diapers, cleaning up messes. Without this type of partnership, there’s no way my wife can pursue the dreams God has placed in her heart. God doesn’t just have a calling on my life as the husband. God has a call for my wife as well, and I have the responsibility and privilege to support that call.

Supporting my wife’s dreams isn’t just about being a good spouse or having a healthy relationship. It also says something important to my daughters.

My girls are Hmong-American. They will grow up as girls and then women of color in a mostly white part of a patriarchal world. Because they’re female, and because of their Southeast Asian skin tone, the world will tell them their ideas are not as good. That they don’t have as much to offer as the white man in the same class or church or company. That they’re not as smart, or not as wise. That God’s call on their lives doesn’t matter as much as God’s call on a man’s life.

When I support my wife’s call, it tells my daughters that God has a call on their lives, and that it matters. It teaches them that their dreams are important. That they have something valuable to offer the world, and that God wants them to pursue their gifts and vision. That the way things are is not the way things have to be, and that they are part of God’s plan to renew our broken world.

For too long, I’ve made excuses for not being present and for being less than a full partner in the life of my family. To be a father means to not just hope for a world where my wife and daughters can flourish; it means helping to bring that world into being.

This is the vision that God has given me. This is the dream that fills my mind and my spirit each night as my wife and I read to our daughters, pray for them, hold them (and a giant, stuffed Winnie the Pooh) tightly, and sing them to sleep.

Touger Thao is a second-generation HmongAmerican Wisconsinite finding his home in Minnesota. He’s married to Mykou, who also happens to be his favorite musician. Touger got his MDiv from Duke Divinity School and enjoys practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

My wife needs me to be more than just a provider; she needs me to be her partner to share and do life with.

3 Ways to Weave Giving into Your Will

“How much should I leave to CBE and the other ministries close to my heart?”

Your best answer depends on your circumstances, objectives, and values. However, many families consider one of three giving models.

1. Amount or percentage. Allocate a specific amount of money or a percentage of your overall estate.

2. Split with other beneficiaries. For example, if a couple had four children, each of the children would receive one-fifth of their belongings, and the remaining one-fifth could go to CBE.

3. Gifts of assets. Designate real estate, business interests, life insurance, retirement assets, machinery, or even personal collections as gifts to CBE. There are a number of reasons people do this, whether it’s because the property has special meaning, their children have no further use for it, or because they wish to protect their families from unnecessary taxes.

What is the right answer for you? It may be helpful to talk with a trusted ally who can help you sort through all the options to determine the best fit for your goals and circumstances.

Through CBE’s partnership with Barnabas Foundation, you have direct access to this kind of trusted planning support. At no cost to you, you can speak with a planner who will help you identify a plan that honors God, cares for your family, and furthers the important mission of CBE.

Learn more by calling the Barnabas Foundation at 1-888-448-3040 or email planning@ barnabasfoundation.com.

How theNew Testament Turned Marriage in the Ancient World onIts “Head”

Do husbands hold an innate leadership role over their wives? Are wives to (willingly and joyfully) submit to their husband’s authority? Those who answer yes to these questions often describe marriage as an expression of male headship, and they appeal to what appears to be a plain reading of such passages as Ephesians 5:21–33.1

But what if I told you that the abstract noun headship does not actually show up in the New Testament? Yes, Paul uses a head-body image to teach about marriage. But what if he meant not to reinforce a rule of male leadership but to turn ancient assumptions about authority in marriage on their “head”? I invite you to come into an ancient Greco-Roman household and see Paul’s teaching with fresh eyes. You’ll discover how Paul subverted hierarchical norms and established an ideal of mutuality which was described at Creation as “one flesh” (Gen. 2:2 ).

The Social World of the First-century Greco-Roman society was centred around the pursuit of honour. It was

hierarchical, status-driven, and patriarchal. Women were thought to be naturally inferior to men and unfit to govern, and as a result they were functional minors with limited access to society’s social, legal, and economic structures.

As the sun rose on an ordinary day in the first century, each person knew their place in the social hierarchy. And they knew whom they were obliged to honour. For a married woman it was her husband, her paterfamilias. Wives had personal and social obligations towards their husbands. Meanwhile, married men had patria potestas (paternal power) over their households. They were essentially the legal trustees of all their family assets. This was the patriarchal social setting in which Paul wrote.

It was a world where a husband’s authority was enshrined in law, in philosophy, and in social norms. 2 The marital teachings of the New Testament addressed husbands and wives who were bound by such ancient household structures. These couples would not have understood modern ideas of headship such as humble leadership or voluntary submission. Ancient marital harmony was based around the honour, preferences, and activities of the husband, and female obedience was embedded in family and societal structures.

Now, imagine if Paul was writing not to redeem patriarchy but to overthrow it? What if he never meant for us to take the head-body metaphor from its original social setting to create a principle called headship (that is, male authority)? If Paul’s intention was instead to turn marriage in the ancient world on its “head,” how would he have gone about this? Well . . . exactly how he did go about it!

Turning Marriage on its “Head” in Ephesians 5:21–33

Head-body metaphors were common in the ancient world. Sometimes, they described relationships of superior-inferior social status. When Paul applies this metaphor to marriage his readers would have, initially

Paul subverted hierarchical norms and established an ideal of mutuality which was described at Creation as “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).

“head”? bookstore: cbebookstore.org Mutuality |Women's Equality in the Home 21

that the New Testament

noun headship

at least, assumed that he was about to endorse the cultural assumption of male pre-eminence. But there is something remarkable about the head-body image throughout Ephesians 5:21–33. See, it does not, as expected, command one-way submission from a wife to her husband—that is, the wife simply following the head. Rather, Paul turns the metaphor on its “head,” and the husband serves the body.3

Paul calls the one who has the place of honour (the husband) to take the position of humility to serve the welfare of the “lesser” (the wife): “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). In the Roman world such humility was not a virtue but a humiliation. To serve someone of lesser status was morally suspect and shameful. 4 Yet this is exactly the picture that Paul paints: the head serving the body (Eph. 5:28–29). It’s a radical reversal of ancient marital norms consistent with Paul’s earlier emphasis on mutuality: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21).

Now, we might think that there is no direct instruction for a husband to submit to his wife. But this would fail to appreciate Paul’s rhetorical intent. It would have sounded absurd for him to directly tell the paterfamilias to submit to members of his household. There was no such flexibility in the social structures of the day. So instead, Paul is more subtle. He addresses the one who has the power in the household. Through the example of Christ, he invites the husband to be the ��rst servant in a marriage of mutual “one-flesh” service (Eph. 5:31–33).5

Rewriting Marriage Contracts in 1 Corinthians 7:3–5

Paul expresses this ideal of marital unity and mutuality more directly in 1 Corinthians 7:3–5. Here, he uses a Greek term typically translated to have authority (exousiazei) to teach on marriage. Astonishingly, Paul assumes both husband and wife have the same rights, authority, and obligations towards one another. Moreover, we discover the only concrete example in the New Testament of how husbands and wives ought to make decisions: by “mutual consent” (1 Cor. 7:5).

Consider again how remarkable all this would have sounded to Paul’s first readers.

We actually have an example of a Roman marriage contract from this time. The groom is to “furnish” his new wife with all “necessities . . . according to his means” while the bride (represented in the contract by her legal guardian) must “fulfill her duties towards her husband . . . not sleep away from the house or be absent one day without [his] consent.”6 In the Greco-Roman world men freely engaged in sexual relations outside of their marriage as long as it was not with married women. For a wife to engage in such adultery was a divorceable offense.

Yet Paul addresses the husband ��rst when referring to a couple’s “marital duty” (1 Cor. 7:3). Then both husband and wife are given equal authority and full agency: “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Cor. 7:4). This is an invitation for each spouse to not selfishly exercise authority over their own body, but to serve their spouse in a mutually self-giving sexual relationship.

Where now is the sexual freedom of the Roman man? What has happened to the social contract which indebted a wife to her husband? Imagine listening to Paul’s description of marital authority, mutual agreement, and the full agency that a wife has alongside her husband! Paul has torn up the assumptions inherent in ancient marriage. He has turned the husband-wife relationship upside down or, perhaps, the right way up.

Spiritual Leadership in the Home in

1 Corinthians 7:14–16

There is one more way Paul turns marriage in the ancient world upside down. He unashamedly assumes that both husband and wife can exercise spiritual leadership in their home.

Paul has torn up the assumptions inherent in ancient marriage.

There is no hint that husbands are the ones who have more influence, authority, leadership, or decision-making powers.

When Paul addresses Christians married to unbelievers (1 Cor. 7:12–16), he conveys a fascinating principle to encourage them to stay committed to their interfaith marriages. He writes: “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy” (1 Cor. 7:14). In other words, the believer married to an unbeliever creates “a sacred environment” for their household whereby they spiritually influence their children and unbelieving partner.7

Just as in 1 Corinthians 7:2–6, Paul addresses wives in the same manner as husbands. In fact, somewhat surprisingly, her influence comes first. There is no hint that husbands are the ones who have more influence, authority, leadership, or decision-making powers. This is astounding in the context of the ancient world in which Paul writes. Consider the Greek philosopher Plutarch who, in his Advice to the Bride and Groom, presents the ideal of religious practices within a pagan household: “A married woman should therefore worship and recognize the gods whom her husband holds dear, and these alone.”8

Paul’s guidance in 1 Corinthians 7:14–16 must have indeed been a revelation for Paul’s first readers! He writes that the wife, as much as the husband, can hold the position of Christian spiritual leadership within her house.

How the New Testament Turns Marriage the Right Way Up

When we seek to understand the “plain meaning” of the Bible we may miss what is clear: Paul is, in fact, intent on turning marriage the right way up. Reading the New Testament in its social setting contrasts Greco-Roman gender norms with the astonishing “one-flesh” marital

ideal. Far from reinforcing hierarchy and patriarchy, Paul rewrites the rule book on how authority, rights, decision-making, and leadership should function in the household—both in ancient times and for us today.

Scott Goode is an ordained priest and pastors an evangelical Anglican church in regional New South Wales, Australia. He holds post-graduate qualifi cations in New Testament studies with a focus on the Corinthian correspondence, and he is author of the forthcoming book Salvific Intentionality in 1 Corinthians (Wipf & Stock). Find him online at goodenews.blog

1. See the Danvers Statement, Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (December 1987): cbmw.org/about/danvers-statement/.

2. For a summary of Roman marriage see Susan Treggiari, “Marriage and Family in Roman Society,” in Marriage and Family in the Biblical World , ed. Ken M. Campbell (Downers Grove: IVP, 2003), 132–182.

3. Michelle Lee-Barnewall, “Turning KΕΦAΛH on its Head: The Rhetoric of Reversal in Ephesians 5:21–33,” in Christian Origins and Greco–Roman Culture: Social and Literary Contexts for the New Testament, ed. Stanley E. Porter and Andrew W. Pitts, vol. 1 of Early Christianity in Its Hellenistic Context, in vol. 9 of Texts and Editions for New Testament Stud y (Leiden: Brill, 2013), 599–614.

4. John Dickson, Humilitas: A Lost Key to Life, Love, and Leadership (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2009), 85–95.

5. Lynn H. Cohick, The Letter to the Ephesians, NICNT (Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans, 2020), Kindle ed., ch. III.C.1, “The Household Codes (5:21–6:9).”

6. Lynn H. Cohick, Women in the World of the Earliest Christians: Illuminating Ancient Ways of Life (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2009), Kindle ed., ch. 2, “Marriage and Matron Ideals,” 107.

7. Richard B. Hays, First Corinthians, Interpretation (Louisville, Ky: John Knox Press, 1997), Kindle ed., ch. “Counsel for Corinthians in Various Marital Statuses,” 122.

8. Plutarch, “Advice to the Bride and Groom,” in Plutarch’s Advice to the Bride and Groom and a Consolation to His Wife: English Translations, Commentary, Interpretive Essays, and Bibliography, ed. Sarah B. Pomeroy, trans. Donald Russell (New York: Oxford University, 1999), 7.

Far from reinforcing hierarchy and patriarchy, Paul rewrites the rule book on how authority, rights, decision-making, and leadership should function in the household—both in ancient times and for us today.

Caregiving and Gender Equity in Interabled Relationships

that centers women as the primary caregivers can clash with the daily rhythms of illness and/or disability in a marriage.

infusions

Are Household Responsibilities Based on Our Gender?

his

I jokingly say to my husband that he needs to be more careful when he helps draw up the medicine for my weekly IV treatments because the medication could make him sick if he got exposed. He rolls his eyes at me and says that this is not his first rodeo and that he won’t get sick and that I shouldn’t worry. I truly doubt my husband knew that when he married me one thing he would get good at was helping me with treatments for a rare immune condition. Yet in 2020 I was diagnosed with something called common variable immune deficiency. It is a rare disorder that makes it hard to fight infections, and for the rest of my life I will receive weekly infusions that protect me from getting sick and needing to be hospitalized.

non-domestic front—provide for us financially, do the yardwork, take care of our cars, etc.

In retrospect, I am not sure where helping your wife with her primary immune deficiency fell, but it certainly did not meet the definition of masculinity we were taught. When I began experiencing chronic fatigue, pain, frequent infections, and deep depression as a result—the mental picture I had for myself as a faithful domestic goddess logistically could not continue. I needed help. Out of necessity, the restrictive gender norms we had built for ourselves dissipated.

When Illness Limits Your Ability

My husband and I each grew up with ideas of marriage that adhered to strict gender roles. These gender roles relegated us to distinct spheres and tasks. As the woman, I was to tend the domestic front—cook, clean, organize, etc. My husband, as the man, was to tend the

spouses who strive to serve the other selflessly (yes, but this is not always possible within the dynamics of

interabled couples).

But perhaps these adages are unrealistic for everyone. Partners of people who have disabilities and illnesses are often lauded and even told, “I could never do that; your partner is so lucky.” If you want to trigger someone’s internalized ableism, this is a great way to do it! The reality is that we are all needy, and sickness eventually finds us all. It has become clear to me that we are all temporarily able-bodied, and each of us is

interdependent, needing one another. Rhythms of Caregiving women

I wonder what premarital counseling would look like if we truly encouraged people to dig into their own biases surrounding illness and how we find ourselves with responsibilities we may never have dreamed of. The patriarchal ideal that centers women as the primary caregivers can clash with the daily rhythms of illness

and/or disability in a marriage.

Additionally, our tendency to frame caregiving as only burdensome and exhausting can heap feelings of being a burden on the one receiving the care. I think we must be careful to remember that caregiving is complicated, both for the ones receiving care as well as the ones giving it.

My husband and I have found that caregiving can be a testament to mutuality—the undulating back and forth

wondered,

evident in a healthy relationship. Yet we focus on the adages about good marriages in Christian circles as if they are a sign of morality and faithfulness. I sometimes Was I less faithful because I was sick and could not bear my “half” of the caregiving?

Caregiving That Leads to Equality

Caregiving has entered our marriage and will always be a part of our marriage. It has forced my husband and I to dispel models that don’t work for us and to expand our definitions of “intimacy.” We have found intimacy in cold washcloths placed on foreheads, water, and Tylenol in the middle of night, holding and bearing witness when the pain of it all is too much. I am thankful for the ways in which gender equity between women and men has shown up because of the very things that I have

forced foreheads, night, all much.

fought against—illness and being “needy.”

break. couples

of

The models of marriage given to us by hierarchical, patriarchal churches did not account for how human bodies work, slow down, ache, bend, and break. I know many couples move away from a complementarian, hierarchical model for marriage after reading egalitarian books or joining an egalitarian church. But for us, we found gender equity in the lived daily experience of our marriage. Gender equity learned through the art of caregiving has reminded us that for our marriage to thrive we must find rhythms that work and are sustainable for us. And our story is a beautiful testament to how God wired the equality of wives and husbands

our must into marriage itself.

equality

is a licensed professional counselor, thanatologist, and doctoral student in counselor education and supervision. She lives in Ashland, Ohio, where she runs her own counseling practice. She is an avid reader, coff ee drinker, and dog lover!

of wives and husbands into marriage itself.

By Natasha Sistrunk Robinson

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in the Summer 2015 issue of Mutuality. It is reprinted here as part of our celebration of thirty years of Mutuality in 2023.

It is true, we become like what we see. Growing up, what I saw was my mother, Sallie. She worked hard and gave everything she could so my sister and I had opportunities to thrive. She served in the church and in the community. She loved family and was always

hospitable to strangers. She was a humble woman who led—a woman of influence.

When she married the strong man who raised me, she made him believe that his contributions in this life were

valuable. He was an ever-present father, and together they started a business. He labored earnestly and built his team. She was the keeper of the books and office administrator. They cooked and cleaned and did yard work together. Sometimes he braided my hair. They welcomed another child into our home, this time a son. As our family and business grew, so did my mother’s faith. She was like Lydia—when she committed her life to Jesus (I mean really committed her life) she took the whole family with her. Sallie and her household were baptized. There we stood at the pulpit in our swim caps, white robes, and new Bibles with my mother sanctifying our home.

Because my mother was committed to serving and was free to do so, nonvoters were registered, students were taught, young people remained in college, girls walked away from bad situations, families stayed together, friends found comfort, and expectations were raised. She did not have the best pitch, but she sang on the church choir to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!” she used to sing. My pastor wanted to know when she was going to get her minister’s license. We all saw the light.

This woman was liberated in her spirit and in her mind, and all who knew her were better for it. I was twenty years old when she went home to glory, but there are certain things I will never forget. I will not forget

that this woman knew exactly who she was and was unwavering in living out that calling in her life. She was not a flawless woman. Like the rest of us, she was broken and had cracks. In her final years, I watched intently as Christ and the church refined those broken spaces.

I will not forget that her very presence was valued and her identity affirmed by the men in our lives. I first observed this when she cared for her father as his mind and body deteriorated. Then I bore witness to it as she partnered with my father in their business and in our home, even when things were not going well, when they were sick, and when the business failed. If you ask him today, my father will tell you that there isn’t another woman like my mother and he is a better man because of her. He remains unmarried. Male teachers, counselors, community leaders, politicians, and pastors all spoke well of her.

I am my mother’s daughter, an African American woman from South Carolina who loves the Lord and his church. I am a leader, learner, teacher, servant, advocate, wife, mother, and friend. It is my prayer that I continue to grow in wisdom, discernment, and boldness about the calling, ministry, and work God has assigned me. By God’s grace, I will continue in faithfulness so people will see my good work and glorify my Father in heaven.

There was a time in my adult life when well-meaning Christians wanted to close my mind to the possibilities of what women could do to advance the kingdom of God. Some of my white sisters led me to believe that my most important contributions would be inside my home and to my family, and everything else was less important work. For a couple years, I struggled to understand my identity, purpose, and calling as a woman, wife, and mother serving on active duty as an officer in the US Marine Corps. Were my service to my country and my work raising up future world leaders less important than my commitments to my family?

I grew tired of the gender debates within the church; debates don’t always win people over. I decided to stop

I am my mother’s daughter, an African American woman from South Carolina who loves the Lord and his church.

I decided to stop comparing myself to the choices and expectations of other women and their spouses.

comparing myself to the choices and expectations of other women and their spouses. Most of those women did not have the same work assignments as I did. Finding my way through the fears and uncertainties led to personal acceptance. The affirmation of my spiritual gift of leadership meant coming back home to my foundation.

My foundation was in the arms, on the lap, through the voice, and at the hand of a woman—my mother— who transformed lives, churches, and communities because she daily joined in the work God was doing. I watched as women and men partnered with her on the journey. I came back to the reality and testimony of Jesus. In Christ, we have been made new. He has come to proclaim freedom for prisoners and to release the oppressed. In Christ, I am free. Together, we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and through the power of the testimony of changed lives.

The gender debate, like most other debates, is won through powerful witness and the testimony of a single life. I am Natasha Sistrunk Robinson, one who is created in the image of Yahweh and in the image of Sallie. I am mother of Ashley, a fearless and free girl who will praise God, silence the enemy’s voice and schemes, proclaim the gospel to her generation, and have the work of her hands forever attached to the gospel. She will walk in the spirit of Mary of Bethany; her grandma, Sallie; and me; for these are my prayers for her. My prayer is that she will fulfill her mission in unity and missional partnership with her sisters and brothers everywhere who have a “not my will, but thine be done” attitude of submission to God.

cbeinternational.org

The powerful proclamation of the gospel lived out and the testimony of lives changed through the blood is how chains are broken from generation to generation. This is how the church continues to reform herself. This is how we are all transforming, growing, and changing until he returns or calls us home. This is how we honor the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. This is how we honor the God of Sallie, Natasha, and Ashley.

Natasha Sistrunk Robinson is president of T3 Leadership Solutions Inc. and visionary founder of the nonprofi t Leadership LINKS Inc. A graduate of the Naval Academy and Gordon-Conwell, she is an international speaker, leadership coach, and consultant with over twenty years of experience. She is the editor of Voices of Lament, author of several books, and host of A Sojourner’s Truth podcast.

The powerful proclamation of the gospel lived out and the testimony of lives changed through the blood is how chains are broken from generation to generation.

This is how the church continues to reform herself.

This is how we are all transforming, growing, and changing until he returns or calls us home.

President's Message by Mimi Haddad

Christian Marriages through Time: A Brief Historical Review

Often when lecturing on women and Scripture, I’m asked: “Doesn’t the Bible teach different roles for husbands and wives?” My response is simple: “Regardless of gender, our calling as Christians is to imitate Christ.”1 Scripture advocates not for biblical womanhood or manhood but biblical Christhood—a truth continually obscured and distorted by forces inside and outside the church. To restore our vision, let’s take a quick flight over history to observe how couples have transcended cultural expectations in following Christ.

The Early Church

Two couples feature prominently in the New Testament. Both were Paul’s closest coworkers.

Paul referred to Priscilla and Aquila more than anyone else, except Timothy. They first worked as tentmakers in Corinth. Then Paul, Priscilla, and Aquila moved to Ephesus, where Priscilla and Aquila planted a church in their home. Here they taught Apollos, a gifted teacher, with Priscilla in the lead (Acts 18:26). Cited ahead of her husband in four of six references, 2 the couple transcended gender expectations as Priscilla taught a prominent leader in the church in their home. Later, both risked their necks for Paul equally, and all the churches honored their courage (Rom. 16:3–4).3

Like Priscilla and Aquila, Junia and her husband, Andronicus, were Paul’s coworkers and also prominent apostles. Their marriage conformed not to cultural expectations but to their calling in Christ, even as it landed them in prison (Rom. 16:7).

Captivated by Christ and called to service, both of these early church couples show rather than tell how their marriage conformed not to patriarchal culture but to their calling as Christian leaders.

Monasticism to the Reformation

Fleeing Roman persecution in the third century, Christians flocked to the desert, where they formed monastic communities. Detached from marriage and childbearing, women’s leadership in these communities flourished—a pattern that persisted through the Middle

Ages until the Reformation. Even as Reformation theologians began to devalue women and prioritize the husband’s authority, women like Argula von Grumbach (1492–ca. 1564) advanced the Protestant faith for forty years despite her abusive husband, whom she refused to obey. Her writings and pamphlets circulated more widely than any male theologian, except Martin Luther.

The Modern Era

As the Protestant faith flourished the “priesthood of all believers,” new denominations formed with marriages more readily supportive of a wife’s ministry beside or independent of her husband. By the early 1800s, more couples were working together to embody biblical Christhood. Consider Phoebe Palmer (1807–74), whose surgeon-husband fully supported her leadership as she shaped Holiness theology and launched a movement. Couples like Angelina Grimké (1805–79) and Theodore Weld (1803–95) advanced the abolitionist movement and fought for women’s equality through their writings, lectures, and organizing. A union of equals, their biblical vision to free slaves and empower women was global in impact. Likewise, Catherine (1829–90) and William Booth (1829–1912) cofounded the Salvation Army. Committed to ending the exploitation of the girls and women of London, their lives had one focus: serving those at the margins.

Women like former slave Amanda Berry Smith (1837–1915) gained world renown as a missionary and leader of leaders. Women like her helped shift the density of the Christian faith from the West to regions of Asia, Africa, and South America. 4 Here they developed close relationships with the world’s women, and as allies to them, they raised awareness of the practices that harmed women’s marriages and families. Crying as only a mother can, former slave Sojourner Truth (1797–1887) built empathy for mothers who, like herself, watched as their children were sold away from them. Likewise, Frederick Douglass (1817–95) also exposed the brutality and hypocrisy of Christian patriarchy as it desecrated marriages and families, writing:

He who is the religious advocate of marriage robs whole millions of its sacred influence and leaves them to the

ravages of wholesale pollution. The warm defender of the sacredness of the family relation is the same that scatters whole families,—sundering husbands and wives, parents and children, sisters and brothers,— leaving the hut vacant, and the heart desolate.5

During the modern era, single women outnumbered men two-to-one in Bible institutes, venturing alone to distant and dangerous locations worldwide. Questioning men’s reluctance to marry these mission-minded women, the president of Prairie Bible Institute writes:

It is still possible to endure loneliness and apparent frustration amid heat, filth and stench. Probably you will not marry, as the percents of men going to the mission fields is very small. But, if you have given your life to Jesus and can trust Him to supply your needs (or give you grace to die joyfully), we will be glad to consider your application . . . This is an opportunity to prove the Omnipotent God! If there are still some old-fashioned young men who feel called to serve the Lord in hard places, with no earthly security, they too may apply.6

Without husband or family responsibilities, women once again embraced wide opportunities, demonstrating their capacity as leaders. What is more, the disregard for marriages and families in non-dominant cultures mobilized organizations like the Woman's Christian Temperance Union (WCTU) with its army of women determined to dismantle structural patriarchy and its impact on marriages, families, and especially girls at the margins. After decades of anti-trafficking work with the WCTU, physician, scholar, and activist Katharine Bushnell (1856–1946) concluded that marriages and families would remain vulnerable to abuse until Christians read the Bible without devaluing women as moral inferiors, giving others license to treat them as lesser.

The Contemporary Era—CBE Today

Bushnell’s scholarship proved instrumental to CBE’s founders in articulating a biblical basis for mutuality in marriage and exposing translation errors that supported male dominance contrary to the Bible’s original intent. CBE republished her book God’s Word to Women and introduced her scholarship in CBE publications and events, meeting a very real need.7 While complementarians rarely publish or convene events on abuse, the topic is continually in view for egalitarians, given not only dissatisfaction in maledominant marriages but also as it fosters impunity, strict gender roles, and a lack of empathy—prominent qualities of #MeToo and #ChurchToo perpetrators.8

Since CBE was incorporated as a nonprofit in 1988, the issues of marriage and forces that diminish its purposes have been continually in view. How can Christians imitate Christ when dominance and abuse torment and cripple marriages, families, and those around them? In contrast, healthy marriages built on biblical mutuality leverage enormous gospel-momentum, flourishing the lives they touch.

We celebrate Christian marriages throughout history as a striking power for good, returning double to Christ in service to the world. Unselfconsciously, these marriages transcended cultural barriers, confronted injustices and abuse, to evidence the moral force of Christ they served. In this way, these couples also resembled those who never married, whose communities or organizations multiplied their efforts because single or married, our highest vocation is the imitation of Christ—a life that will always seem both powerful and peculiar in the eyes of the world.

1. See Rom. 8:29; 1 Cor. 11:1; 2 Cor. 3:18; Eph. 5:1–2; Phil. 2:5; 1 John 2:6.

2. See Acts 18:2–3; Acts 18:18; Acts 18:26; Rom. 16:3–4; and 1 Cor. 16:19.

3. After Apollos’s encounter with Priscilla and Aquila, he leads many to Christ (Acts 18:27–28).

4. Dana L. Robert, American Women in Mission: A Social History of Their Thought and Practice (Macon, GA: Mercer University Press, 2005), ix.

5. Frederick Douglass, Life of an American Slave (Boston: Anti-Slavery Office, 1845), 119. See also Frederick Douglass, Life and Times of Frederick Douglass: His Early Life as a Slave, His Escape From Bondage, and His Complete History (New York: Collier Books, 1892).

6. L. E. Maxwell, The Prairian yearbook (Prairie Bible Institute, 1958), 68. See also Mimi Haddad, “Egalitarianism: A New Path to Liberalism or Integral to Evangelical DNA?” An Evangelical Tradition (a special edition journal of CBE, 2013), 14, https://www.cbeinternational.org/ wp-content/uploads/2015/12/An-Evangelical-Tradition-web_0.pdf.

7. CBE has hosted two conferences exploring abuse in Christian homes, in 1994 and 2021. The conference papers were published in books like Women, Abuse, and the Bible: How Scripture Can be Used to Hurt or Heal, ed. Catherine Clark Kroeger [CBE's founding president] and James R. Beck [CBE board member] (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1996) .

8. Shuji G. Asai and David H. Olson, “Spouse Abuse & Marital System Based on ENRICH,” https://prepareenrich.wpenginepowered.com/ wp-content/uploads/2020/12/abuse.pdf, accessed 7 February 2023. See also William Wan, “What Makes Some Men Sexual Harassers?” The Washington Post, 22 December 2017, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2017/12/20/what-makes-some-mensexual-harassers-science-tries-to-explain-the-harvey-weinsteins-of-the-world/.

Congratulations to the 2022 CBE Awards Recipients!

2022 CBE Lifetime Achievement Award

The Lifetime Achievement Award recognizes a lifetime of courage, sacrifice, and vision in advancing the biblical basis for gift-based ministry.

Rajkumar Boaz Johnson is persistent, strategic, and determined to raise the status of women leaders worldwide. He champions their gifts and presses for their platforms, funding, and opportunities as he celebrates their accomplishments like a proud father. He is a professor at North Park University and a member of CBE's gender-accurate Bible translation team.

Jeffrey David Miller serves as the lead on CBE's gender-accurate Bible translation project and served as editor of CBE’s academic journal, Priscilla Papers. Teaching at Milligan University since 1999, Jeff is also founder and co-leader of the Biblical Teaching about Women study group.

Jeanne Porter King is president and founder of Transporter Group in Chicago, a business consulting firm that provides leadership development, diversity, equity, and inclusion consulting, and communication training. Her skills have served CBE well through her leadership on CBE’s board as we navigate the intersection of women, race, and ethnicity.

Elizabeth Testa has spearheaded “She Is Called”—to empower women. She researched egalitarian organizations, discovered CBE, and joined as a Member Organization. Since then, she and other RCA leaders have attended CBE’s annual conferences and championed CBE’s work.

Tammy Swanson-Draheim makes clear her denomination’s stated goals to increase female lead pastors. She frequently speaks on how biblical equality and racial righteousness are integral to her kingdom theology. Unsurprisingly, Tammy recently became the first woman president of the Evangelical Covenant Church.

Grace Ying May has pastored churches in New York City and the Greater Boston area, led and served as president of CBE’s Greater Boston Chapter, and as a co-leader of the Women’s Leadership Track for the Catalyst Leadership Center. She held strategic leadership roles for Women and the Academy of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.

2022 CBE Micah Award

The Micah Award honors those who exhibit courage, creativity, and tenacity in opposing abuse and advancing justice for women and children in Christ’s name.

Grace Al-Zoughbi , a Palestinian Christian, was called to make a difference through theological education. Grace currently serves the Arab Baptist Theological Seminary (ABTS) and the European Council for Theological Education (ECTE) as a professor of theology.

Alexandra Horn , through her community- and family-building work, with a focus on at risk women, families, and students, and through her leadership with IVP Academic, has harmonized a heart, mind, and soul vision for service.

Médine Moussounga Keener has served at Asbury Theological Seminary, Eastern University, and the University of Brazzaville, Congo. She assisted in planting churches and served as a translator and advocate. Too well acquainted with the consequences of war on families, girls, and women, Médine has stirred our hearts and sharpened our conscience with her published works.

Praise and Prayer

Praise

• We praise God for the increased reach and impact within the Evangelical Theological Society and at Urbana 2022 as we stand firm in our mission to promote the biblical and equal partnership of women and men worldwide.

• We praise God for another eLearning course now complete and available for purchase through our website. These eLearning courses are crucial to continuing the education of Christians for the biblical basis of women’s leadership.

• We thank God for generous donors, whose gifts continue to support CBE through needed and crucial work for women and men worldwide.

Would you be willing to pray regularly on behalf of CBE? Join our prayer team to receive a full list of prayer needs on a quarterly basis, plus occasional urgent prayer needs. Please email us at cbe@cbeinternational.org to sign up.

Prayer

• Please join us in praying for God’s leading on strategy, vision, wisdom, and planning in executing CBE’s annual plan throughout this next year.

• Please join us in praying over our upcoming conference in Brazil, July 20–22, 2023, “Women and Scripture: Setting the Record Straight.” Please pray for God’s leading as we continue to expand internationally with the healing and liberating message that God calls women and men equally to share authority in the home, church, and world.

• Please join us in praying for the development and integration of resources about Bible translation on the Mutuality Matters podcast. Be in prayer for our Bible translation team as they continue to develop a resource addressing passages throughout Scripture and providing gender-accurate translations.

( Christians for Biblical Equality)

MISSION STATEMENT

STATEMENT OF FAITH

• We believe in one God, creator and sustainer of the universe, eternally existing as three persons equal in power and glory.

• We believe in the full deity and the full humanity of Jesus Christ.

• We believe that eternal salvation and restored relationships are only possible through faith in Jesus Christ who died for us, rose from the dead, and is coming again. This salvation is offered to all people.

• We believe the Holy Spirit equips us for service and sanctifies us from sin.

• We believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, is reliable, and is the final authority for faith and practice.

• We believe that women and men are equally created in God’s image and given equal authority and stewardship of God’s creation.

• We believe that women and men are equally responsible for and distorted by sin, resulting in shattered relationships with God, self, and others.

• Therefore, we lament that the sins of sexism and racism have been used to historically oppress and silence women throughout the life of the church.

• We resolve to value and listen to the voices and lived experiences of women throughout the world who have been impacted by the sins of sexism and racism.

SUBSCRIBE

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If your church, seminary, school, or nonprofit agrees with CBE’s Statement of Faith and Core Values, join CBE as an organizational member to receive publications, discounted conference registrations, and more.

Visit cbe.today/orgmembers for more info.

CORE VALUES

• Scripture is our authoritative guide for faith, life, and practice.

• Patriarchy (male dominance) is not a biblical ideal but a result of sin that manifests itself personally, relationally, and structurally.

• Patriarchy is an abuse of power, taking from women and girls what God has given them: their dignity, freedom, and leadership, and often their very lives.

• While the Bible reflects a patriarchal culture, the Bible does not teach patriarchy as God’s standard for human relationships.

• Christ’s redemptive work frees all people from patriarchy, calling women and men to share authority equally in service and leadership.

• God’s design for relationships includes faithful marriage between a woman and a man, celibate singleness, and mutual submission in Christian community.

• The unrestricted use of women’s gifts is integral to the work of the Holy Spirit and essential for the advancement of the gospel worldwide.

• Followers of Christ are to advance human flourishing by opposing injustice and patriarchal teachings and practices that demean, diminish, marginalize, dominate, abuse, enslave, or exploit women, or restrict women’s access to leadership in the home, church, and world.

CONNECT WITH CBE

Connect with CBE online to learn more about us, enjoy the resources we offer, and take part in our ministry.

Visit our website, cbeinternational.org , to find thousands of free resources—articles, book reviews, and video and audio recordings.

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CBE exists to promote the biblical message that God calls women and men of all cultures, races, and classes to share authority equally in service and leadership in the home, church, and world. CBE’s mission is to eliminate the power imbalance between men and women resulting from theological patriarchy. bookstore: cbebookstore.org

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