Editors & Staff
Editors
Sydnie Bierma Peak Editor—MMG
Marley Logan Content Director—KCPR
Staff
Writers
Lulu David
Giselle Espinoza
Ella Giuliani
Amelia Nored
Marley Logan
Ishaani Dhanotra
Archana Pisupati Editor in Chief—MMG
Fiona Hastings News Director—KCPR
Peyton Kelly
Revaa Kotia
Maddie Kuhns
Sarah Jagielski
Lorenzo Cano
Bea Rienhoff
Jeremy Garza Managing Editor— Mustang News
Amelia Nored Programming Director—KCPR
Aviv Kesar Creative Director— Mustang News
Linnaea Marks Art Director—KCPR
Designers
Natalia Celebrini
Anika Loganathan
Ava Cheung
Ella Erdem
Julia Hazemoto
Nhi Duong
Maya Shinden
Ava Donaldson
Elena Vaughan
Maggi Benson
Kennedy Ray
Notes on a crush
By Lulu David
Designed by Maggi Benson
I have a crush on... "Heated Rivalry"
By Ella Giuliani
Designed by Maya Shinden
I have a crush on... myself
By Ishani Dhanotra
Designed by Natalia Celebrini
What is a partnership?
By Revaa Kotia
Designed by Julia Hazemoto
Sex Karezza: A meaningful alternative to no-stringsattached sex
By Maddie Kuhns
Designed by Ava Donaldson
Anti-love playlist
By Elsa Fuentes-Virabyan
Designed by Maggi Benson
Beans for two
By Bea Reinhoff
Designed by Nhi Duong
An ode to my DivaCup
By Giselle Espinoza
Designed by Anika Loganathan
Missed Connections
By Marley Logan and Amelia Nored
Designed by Kennedy Ray
Absense makes the heart grow fonder, or does it?
By Peyton Kelly
Designed by Elena Vaughan
#AskAF
By A and F
Designed by Ava Cheung
Love manifestation circle
By Sarah Jagielski
Designed by Anika Loganathan
The Peak presents: dating profiles
By Lorenzo Cano
Designed by Ella Erdem
NOTES ON A CRUSH
Poem By Lulu David Design By Maggi Benson
athreadstrung with beads
Today, I stopped to watch a black lab run across a patch of grass down the street from my house. The owner stood at one end of the field tossing a tennis ball. The dog fetched. The dog returned. The owner threw. The sun had unexpectedly emerged. It was supposed to be raining.
My most recent crush, which momentarily inoculates me against my persistent instinct to define my life as I move through it.
There is a theory that the phrase “to have a crush” is derived from slang referencing spoon-feeding a baby crushed or mashed-up food. Devotion renders me to the inclinations of a child sometimes. A thread strung with beads of endless potentials for an enchantment…The dog is no longer an organism, but rather the moment I learned not to pull an animal’s tail. The owner is on the horizon now, someone tying my shoes for me. The lack of rain reminds me I need to keep better track of people’s birthdays.
The objects of my affection begin to eclipse my proclivity for language, so all that is left for me to do is collect and reorganize the clippings of what I witness so that I can resume my play.
An ode to my DivaCup
Story By Giselle Espinoza Design By Anika Loganathan
See I've bled and I’ve groaned, but you reap what you sow I have a vagina with a mind of its own.
Every month, without a beat, my boobs hurt and so do my feet. As if that weren't enough, I have a liter of blood, stained sheets and a desperate heart accompanying me.
I tried all the classics — pads and tampons, as many of you know. But something about cotton near my vulva was a simple no-go.
I was searching for better — a comfort of sorts. My wishes were answered with my beloved, the one to which I ode: my diva cup, my purple hero.
An impeccable food pantry find, ready for a home. My sustainable cup, full of my menstrual hope.
These last three years were all I could want, My dear diva cup, it is you that I flaunt.
Very discrete and complete with ease, Every month I look forward to our silly little tease.
Now I live my life, free from fear of a leak. Now I live my life, with a pure-hearted peak.
Some think you’re weird, but I think you’re perfect. Some think you're gross, but so are all things that are worth it.
XOXO, A Diva Cup Warrior
I have a crush on...
Story By Ella Giuliani Design By Maya Shinden
This article contains spoilers to the television series, “Heated Rivalry.”
Sexis one of many words that can be used to describe the six-episode series that everyone has been talking about. Yet, “Heated Rivalry” is more than your average slowburn, enemies-to-lovers or LGBTQ+ romance story.
Based on the popular novel published in 2019 by Rachel Reid, the TV adaptation follows two closeted hockey players through a whirlwind relationship spanning across a decade. Produced by the Canadian network Crave and released in late November 2025, the series captivated the hearts and “For You” pages of viewers worldwide. Social media platforms steamrolled a fanbase who are utterly obsessed with the series, which can be streamed on HBO Max.
While the story may hook its audience with steamy scenes, it lends much deeper. To adoring fans (myself included), the love story of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov shines a ray of hope in a time when the world feels bleak and broken. . A time when, as a society, we seem to have lost the value of loving one another.
“Heated Rivalry” reminds viewers of the power those three little words — “I love you” — can hold. The series highlights how love can transform not only one’s personal fulfillment, but spark societal change.
“Heated Rivalry” addresses the social issues such as toxic masculinity and heteronormativity which are often incubated in competitive male sports. The show presents scenes
reflecting how locker room talk and microaggressions perpetuate harmful heterosexual standards among male athletes.
While challenging the stifling power of this discourse, prevalent in culturally coded “masculine” sports such as hockey, the narrative offers positive representations of coming out in athletic spaces.
The series has already becoame a catalyst for change and inspired athletes such as former hockey player Jesse Kortuem to publicly come out.
In a statement posted on Facebook, Kortuem wrote, “I am a private person. Those who know me best know that I don’t share much if anything publicly on social media, but lately, something has sparked in me (ok — yes credit to #HeatedRivalry). I realized it is finally time to share a journey I have kept close to the vest for a long time.”
Kortuem also reflected on how a lack of positive representations of gay athletes in media during his adolescence contributed to his lack of confidence in sharing this facet of his identity.
After watching the series myself, I believe Director Jacob Tierney has delivered what many viewers have been secretly yearning for — a happy ending. The romance of Hollander and Rozanov celebrates LGBTQ+ representation while urging a dismantle of toxic masculinity in athletics beyond the screen.
"Heated Rivalry" is more than steamy sex scenes: it’s a story of embracing identity and challenging homophobic societal standards which stays with viewers long after the credits end.
Story By Amelia Nored & Marley Logan
Design By Kennedy Ray
You see someone special at Scout on Foothill, butyou'retooshytogettheirnumber.Anangel compliments your shirt while walking down Chorro Street, but you don't make plans to go thrifting together. A mysterious entity keeps tradingglanceswithyouatTraderJoe's,butyou purchaseyourmicrowavemealandleavewithout utteringawordtoeachother.
BathedunderthesunofDexterLawn,wepulled theCalPolycommunityfromtheirdailycommute toask:Whoisyourmissedconnection?
drawing, but I decided not to because I was embarrassed.”
From: Madison Kim
TO: HENRY MORGAN
“In third grade, I was proposed to and went to the altar. All my friends were there. I had bridesmaids and a flower girl. I ran away from the altar and never looked back until right now. I think that the universe aligned us to be together, and I regret not saying yes.”
From: Morgan McIssac
TO: THE BOY AT THE MULTICULTURAL STUDENT ASSOCIATION BOOTH, SLO DAYS
2024
“I remember afterwards, after we left, him saying like, ‘Oh yeah, I’ll see you at Multicultural Student Association.’
My dad was like, ‘He was cute, did you get his name? Did you get his number?' I didn't. Whenever I think about the Multicultural Association, I think about him. Wonder what he’s up to right now. I hope things are well, and I don't know if he ever went to that club, because I never ended up going to that club. My fellow Wasian out there, I hope you’re doing good. Hope classes are going well.”
From: Chloe Shepherd
TO: AN OYSTER SHOP IN FLORIDA
“While I was on a trip to Florida with my family, we were driving to another town to go visit some relatives and there was this oyster stop. And we love oysters. We were like ‘Oh we gotta go there.’ We missed it on the first way and we turned around, flipped a U, went back and went into the oyster place, and it was closed. And we were gonna be leaving before the oyster shop opened again. My heart was unsatisfied knowing that I missed some delicious fresh oysters.”
From: Isis Stenn
TO: THE MYSTERIOUS PARTYGOER
“A year and a half ago I went to this party, and I hit it off with this person really well. It wasn't anything crazy. We just had a conversation, and I had to leave. I had forgotten to get their information and I never saw them again. But we had such a genuine conversation that it’s just in the corner of my mind always.”
View the Full St y Here:
I have a crush on ... myself.
Story By Ishaani Dhanotra
Design By Natalia Celebrini
There’s only one relationship that persists through thick and thin, no matter what: the one you have with yourself. In the most literal sense, it’s true. People can come and go, and not every great romance is really that great. At times, you might look back and wonder what was even going through your head. Relationships change like the seasons, and you’re often left reeling from the shock of the change.
When it comes to your love affair with yourself, it’s not like dealing with a mirage or artifact: you’re the whole picture. Past, present and future. Where everything else might end up like a faded painting, you are always in technicolor. The notion that our relationship with ourselves is one that should be nurtured and maintained begs the question: how many of the rules of dating apply?
The regular norms of dating and long-term commitment tend not to apply in this situation. You can’t drunk call yourself (a voice memo might work though). You can’t take a Ross-and-Rachel-style break. The real key to making this relationship work is a daily dose of self-love — a shot from Cupid’s arrow in your own behind. You must subscribe to one of the most classic romantic adages: never stop dating yourself. Never stop getting to know yourself. Never stop growing with yourself.
Most importantly, always have a crush on yourself.
The early stages of a crush are a whirlwind of daydreaming, kicking feet and stolen glimpses — channeling that feeling in towards yourself is where things get tricky. After all, you see yourself every day. It’s a lot harder to become enamored by each little habit when you’re no longer awaiting a surprise. In a lot of ways, the way we act in romantic scenarios mimics how we ought to act in life. When you see that special someone, you tend to dress up a little extra. A hallway crush gives you butterflies and makes mundanities romantic. But what if we looked in the mirror each day and got butterflies? Or wanted to get to know ourselves over a cup of coffee?
We often think we might not deserve the best things, or that we don’t qualify for a special opportunity, or that we’re not cool enough to pull off a certain outfit. But when you see yourself in the most romantic pink light, everything can get flipped on its head. You stop wondering when the honeymoon phase will end and start trying to keep it going. No longer will you think about what you could change about yourself. What you love about yourself is the new mantra of self-inflicted romance. Thinking that you deserve everything, belong in every space and are just that girl, is how you open yourself to opportunity. And like any loving relationship, it all begins with a crush.
Take yourself on a date and see what you have to say. When we really start listening to ourselves, great ideas surface. You never know what you’re capable of until you give yourself the chance. A date you might never have gone on could end up being the best one of your life — your other half has been right here all along.
I used to tell people that as soon as I woke up each day, I knew if it was going to be a “good day” or a “bad day.” They’d think it was psychic fate or a hair in my coffee (I’d switch up my reasoning from time to time). But really, it was my own doomed prophecy. The fate of my day rested on the fragile shoulders of my own self-esteem: did I deserve to have a good day? The winds kept taking me from fleeting crush to short-lived romance until I realized that the one relationship I hadn’t nurtured was the one I had with myself. Each day could have been a “good day.” I just didn’t know it yet.
The first change began with a smile. I smiled at myself and was positively enamored with who was smiling back. Like, who is that girl? I want to get to know her.
A hallway crush, a class crush, a dining hall crush and a hometown crush. When you start crushing on someone, you idealize them to the extreme. Everything they do becomes a sign, everything they say becomes banter. We propel people to the moon because we see a lovely kind of potential in them. It’s powerful stuff. A good crush can skew the senses and imbue you with an elixir of delusion; however, it can become productive when you use it for inner confidence.
Oftentimes, I am the pilot of my own demise. I point out flaws that nobody would have even noticed. It took an eternity of misguided missions to realize that my mind was receiving the loudest feedback. I would swirl with anguish over everything that was going wrong, and too late I realized I had to rewire the narratives I was feeding myself. I would always say, “God Ishaani, what are you wearing?” Now, it’s become, “Ishaani, girl, I missed you!”
makes the heart grow fonder, or does it?
Story By Peyton Kelly
Design By Elena Vaughan
Along-distance relationship: a classic predicament that a healthy share of college students endure. Do we adopt a relationship that breathes off of how much we can FaceTime or text and try to take advantage of that one free weekend each quarter? Do we throw in the towel and try to save ourselves before distance destroys any amount of love we share? Or, do we give it our best shot and hope that we will make it out the other end with minimal damage?
These were all questions I asked myself when my partner and I went off to college and the distance between us went from 10 miles to 1,000 miles. While I can confidently say that long distance has been a miraculous success for us, I don’t feel that long-distance relationships are for everyone. Granted, I am not a relationship expert, but I believe you can learn a lot from a long-distance relationship — whether it is a “success” or not.
Straying away from codependency
Codependency can be one of the most detrimental things to any kind of relationship. Slowly, your reliance on your partner can debilitate your ability to be your own individual person. You can become glued to your phone, constantly texting, wondering and overthinking. A long-distance relationship can create an environment to stray away from codependency:
• You can seek support and validation in other areas of your life.
Relationship COMS 101
A new perspective on patience
My personal long distance theory
• Your limited time together can be much more meaningful when you are not attached at the hip (or the phone in this instance), all day long.
• Practicing independence can help you build deeper trust with one another.
• Learning personal awareness of how to best support your partner, as well as the moments to lean on them for help and support.
• Healthy prioritization: being fully attentive and focused when you’re catching up at the end of the day or setting aside intentional time for each other.
We admire each other for how we have built our own little worlds apart, for the communities and accomplishments we have engrossed ourselves in. Being each other’s number one cheerleader has been that much more special when giving each other the space to be busy, get involved and experience college.
Communication, communication, communication: A crucial skill and practice in any relationship, whether romantic, friendly or familial. Communicating effectively is hard enough without having to consider all your nuanced emotions and feelings that accompany you in a romantic connection. Distance adds another layer, as you go from in-person conversations to a text with an undetectable tone. Here are my two cents after learning how to communicate differently after transitioning to long-distance:
• Long distance doesn’t force you to face conflict head on, we have to choose to prioritize conflict resolution instead of letting a problem simmer and get worse.
• You have to put a little extra thought into new ways to connect with your partner.
• Take the time to learn ways in which your partner will feel most seen and understood.
• Talk to your partner about the best ways to give them reassurance and comfortability, you don’t “assume” what your partner wants, just ask them!
The gratitude I feel for the way that my partner understands me, is indescribable. I attribute so much of his understanding to the way we have learned to communicate with each other so intentionally these past couple years.
Having patience is often easier said than done, especially since distance creates an automatic need for increased patience and understanding in a relationship. Sometimes you have to wait until your partner is available to chat with them or wait until they’ve returned home from a night out with friends. The worst is having to wait to see them for weeks and months at a time. You are also making them wait for you, just as much as you wait for them. Patience can be hard at times, but throwing yourself into a situation where adopting a level of understanding is necessary for the success of your relationship:
• Whether you're near or far, life isn’t perfect: and it’s important to choose to give yourself and your partner grace for a busy day, week or month.
• Choosing understanding is much more enjoyable than the constant feeling of impatience or overthinking.
• You find in the hardest of moments, taking the time to understand creates a strong foundation of gratitude.
I have found that even in moments where we miss each other a little extra, patience is what centers me, and understanding is what reminds me that even when things are hard, my partner, and the love we share, is worth the hard moments and worth the wait.
My partner and I have been together for four-and-a-half years, two-and-a -half of which have been long-distance. Spending the majority of our time a plane flight away from each other isn’t the most ideal scenario, but goodness, have we learned a lot:
• Long-distance practices have been crucial in the success of our relationship, no matter how close or far.
• Long-distance habits have made me a better person in all my relationships with friends and family too.
• I don’t believe long distance is for everyone.
• What relawtionship styles and dynamics work best for you, is a journey for you and you alone.
• While our personalities and nature have helped us approach long distance, the things we have learned along the way have sustained us.
So while a long-distance relationship has worked quite well for my partner and I, I don’t necessarily “suggest” long-distance, but rather I encourage you to consider it like any relationship, as a learning opportunity. Whether or not your heart grows fonder in absence is up to you to find out, but if anything, I can assure you that absence helps you grow.
What is a partnership?
Story By Revaa Kotia
Design By Julia Hazemoto
As someone on the asexual spectrum, discussions about dating and relationships have always been hard to follow. In fact, one of the hardest aspects of college has been trying to relate to and connect with the people around me when I fundamentally couldn’t understand this huge part of college life. In theory, I like the idea of dating. But in my mind, that kind of partnership looks different than it does for others, and it took me a long time to realize that.
When I was in middle and high school, I didn’t really get crushes the
way people around me did. When my friends and siblings started to become more fixated on the concept of a romantic partner, I played along, occasionally “choosing” someone to have a crush on. Being young, queer and on the internet, I grasped for some kind of label to fit the difference I felt, and I landed on asexual. As I got older, and the differences I felt grew more and more apparent, and the concept of asexuality and being on the asexual spectrum started to feel more and more correct.
In my first year of college, conversations with my friends/dormmates were dominated by discussions of prospective partners. There was always some new person, some cute guy spotted from across the way, some new match on some dating app. It felt like, for some people, nothing mattered except for what your romantic and sexual experiences were, as if their worth rested on it.
I couldn’t really relate. While I could understand on a technical level whether someone could be categorized as “cute” or not, I didn’t
understand the appeal of (mostly) random guys, or this desire my friends had for a romantic or sexual partner.
In my mind, true friendship and close connections with people was enough to fill my cup. Friendship, to me, meant looking out for each other and spending time together. Laughing at dumb shows, talking about classwork, sharing our thoughts and feelings. When you had all of that, why did it matter if you had someone to kiss?
But “just friendship” wasn’t enough for the people I was surrounded with.
partnership?
While I was happy to watch TV and talk about whatever, my friends longed for something more than that. No matter how close we were, I couldn’t understand their need for a relationship, because that friendship was all that I needed. And my inability to understand that difference distanced me from them.
I grew frustrated. I didn’t understand why people I knew would dedicate themselves to losers who didn’t care about them. I couldn’t understand the unwritten and unspoken rules about dating and dating
apps. I couldn’t understand why some traits in some profiles were “green flags” while the same traits in others were “red flags.” I couldn’t understand the shallowness of it, of deciding if someone was “good” or “bad” based on a tiny window into who they are. It was too complicated, too confusing. Ultimately, it came down to this: how could you know if you wanted to date, kiss, or hook up with someone if you’d never met them?
Eventually, I stopped trying to understand, and by doing that I eventually came to a realization: My take
and perspective on partnerships and relationships is fundamentally different than others because I’m asexual. Like I said, I’d been aware of my placement on the asexual spectrum for a while, but I hadn’t realized the extent of difference it would make in my life and outlook. Knowing where the dissonance in my friendships came from made it easier for me to connect with people: I realized I didn’t need to relate to them on this subject.
Now, I know what my vision of partnership is. I still want to date, have a relationship, get married, etc, but I
understand that my definition of those terms looks different. To me, partnership is as simple as caring about each other. It’s taking care of each other, remembering details, comforting each other. Partnership has less to do with physical intimacy, and more to do with unconditional support: having someone you’d do anything for. A relationship is a promise of dedication.
Story by AF
Designed by Ava Cheung
Ask AF is a new advice column curated for The Peak by two Mustang Media Group staff members, A and F. You asked, we answered. Whether you’re dealing with an extreme crashout you can't even talk to your therapist (ChatGPT) about, or a question you're dying to ask: How do I lean in for a kiss? This is your no-judgement zone. Anonymously ask us anything. We will respond with our expert “AF” opinions.
A: There was a time in my life when I’d repeatedly wake up in an apartment that wasn’t my own, and I’d justify my sleepover the night before by telling myself I’d leave just in time for my 8 a.m. class. I’d repeat to myself “You have no excuse,” as I thought about showing up with mascara on from the night before and a bright reddish-purple stamp of evidence on my neck.
Six months and a lot of questionable antics later, I’d think about repeating the same charade. Only this time, down the hall from my fall MOQ (man of the quarter). In most aspects, winter MOQ was the same: tall, witty, lived in the same apartment as the fall one and honestly way too high to do anything but listen to me yap his ears off.
It’s funny writing this a couple years later, remembering F was in that class. She’d ask why I was late, and the answer was written all over my pinktinted cheeks and eye bags.
1My friend group hates my situationship and their friend group. We’re about due for a bar brawl or dance battle. Thoughts?
F: The opinions of your friend group will most likely always be the ones you should listen to. Who is going to be there for you when you’re violently drunk at Frog and Peach and need to go home? Not your situationship and his friend group. ESPECIALLY if it’s about a “situationship”…girl, we left those in 2025. Dance battle might be the move, sometimes creativity is the best form of expressing your deepest, darkest feelings. Dump them all!
F: Sometimes she’d show me her neck, and that was enough for me. “He’s so nice,” A would say, and I’d remind her coming to class on time would also be nice. Though I’d never judged her, as these were experiences I was foreign to. If anything, I pleaded for more stories I could live vicariously through.
Going back and forth in conversations, advice threads and using our 9 a.m. writing class to psychoanalyze our love lives brought us especially close. This is how we found out how freaky and insane water signs can be, but also how good they are at listening, not judging and supporting.
From A crying over a missed connection with someone who only shared a glance with to F planning a “meet-the-parents,” our paths could not be more different. So now, sit back, relax and take it all in. We’ve read your deepest darkest secrets, and with our qualifications, we’re ready to advise you AF.
We asked students to anonymously submit their situations and rank them on a scale of 1-10 based on their emotional investment. To ensure we were giving new advice, we asked them to tell us any advice they’ve already heard.
2
How do you ask a girl out? I’ve never done it. I also don’t really talk to a lot of girls and don’t really know how to meet women in that kind of way. Do people just walk up to girls and ask them out? I don’t struggle to talk to people socially, but I can never tell if someone likes me, whether I know them or not.
F: The way women receive this type of affection is a large spectrum—some women like the chase, while some react better to someone who can be upfront with their feelings and desires. A good in-between could be dropping an Instagram follow request, which allows you to make a move without having to stress yourself out socially. However, the only way to know if someone is interested in you is if you go and find out yourself! Experience is the best teacher. #YOLO
3
Every year, when I’m back in my hometown for Valentine’s Day, my ex-boyfriend takes me out to a $300 dinner. He was a horrible person, but I kind of like milking him for that. Should I do it again this Valentine’s Day?
A: Girl, first of all I wish that was me. My ex-boyfriend and I only interact through cryptic LinkedIn profile views. I absolutely think you should continue this tradition as long as you’re just trying to make things even… and not making out… After the dinner, do you usually feel amused or unsettled? If it’s the latter, I think it might be time to find a new hobby. Dump him!
4
All of my dates involve smoking. I get too high and can’t talk to my dates! How do I fix this?
A: This happened to me on two separate occasions. I was smoking so much I greened out and cried about my ex for four hours straight. I pivoted to cigarettes for a guy who definitely didn’t want anything to do with me a while later and then developed eczema because of my constant desire to feel like a Lana Del Rey song.
If you enjoy your dates being sesh-adjacent, I suggest planning the date intentionally. Bake brownies or make homemade pizza first, smoke after. You’ll thank yourself later when you’re feeling those munchies. And if all else fails… dump them!
5
I would love love love to have a boyfriend. But I fear that I am only in love with the idea of a boyfriend, not the actual thing. The problem is I don't like talking to guys IRL. Any time a guy sits across from me at the library, he's watching a YouTube video without headphones and I just get so annoyed. I always avoid guys, will I ever get a boyfriend?
My friends have encouraged me to make guy friends, but I choose peace. I've also been encouraged to just date girls, which I think I'm open to, but definitely nervous because that's a lot to unpack.
A: So true. One time I got the ick watching a guy send an email on his phone. It’s kind of daunting to admit that sexual exploration to yourself as someone who has had this vision of who their person is for their entire life. College is the best time to really feel out what you like and dislike, no strings attached. Sometimes I justify my actions by remembering my fouryear long slumber party with a side of classwork won’t last forever and you really only live once!
6I am in a six-month friends-with-benefits relationship, and he says he doesn't want a relationship. We have accepted that boundary, but sometimes he goes and kisses my forehead and talks to me ALL the time about his day and the things he is doing, or gives advice on some stuff I'm dealing with. People have told me to stop messing around with a guy for this long that obviously doesn't wants me and to notice the fact that he f--ed a hooker.
F: I don’t even think the biggest issue here is that he had sex with a hooker; that’s just him using his free will in questionable ways. I’ve seen far too many of these relationships — every alarm is going off in my head. Two words: Commitment. Issues. Every man has them; it’s just in their DNA. The first time I heard the lame “I just have commitment issues” excuse from a one, every single ounce of empathy left my body. He likes the idea of a relationship, but loves the idea of having no strings attached even more. He knows a relationship is going to force his brain to think critically for once, a burden you shouldn’t need to deal with. I would get out of there STAT and find a real man who respects you enough to be fully present. Dump him!
7
I always crush on people who are emotionally unavailable!
Your partner won’t be a man in the library with no social cues. But you might find them if you let yourself explore your own identity, interests and life-long dreams. Investing more time in understanding what you like might let you imagine sparkles and hearts around that one person who’s unlike the others in your class. That feeling of not finding love? Dump it!
F: Emotionally unavailable people are never going away, and your gravitation towards them is a sign that maybe you have some internal work to do. In this day and age and in this ECONOMY, we cannot afford to put energy into people who are obsessed with being “nonchalant,” and remaining a mystery to everyone who shows interest and affection in them. Reflect on WHY you crush on these people, because unfortunately, there is probably a lingering piece of childhood trauma that is crushing you instead. Dump them!
A MEANINGFUL ALTERNATIVE TO NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED HOOK-UPS
Story By Maddie Kuhns
Design By Ava Donaldson
Regardless of relationship status, intimacy and closeness during sex is still important to some collegeaged students, but is losing its way in many people’s experiences. In the age of modern dating, moving along the bases often happens in hyperspeed, creating a disregard for meaningful intimate moments.
Sex karezza, a concept defined by sex theorist J. William Lloyd, explores a different narrative of intercourse where the orgasm is removed, in order for partners to focus on warmth and relaxation. Karezza stems from the Italian phrase carezza, meaning to “caress.”
The goal of karezza is not dependent on the climax, but rather every
How would the intimacy of sex be different when climax is not the main goal?
moment before. Karezza is about getting you and your partner to “a relaxed state of union.” By removing the orgasm from the equation, karezza promotes a more gentle, sensual intercourse.
The following sources have varying sexual experience and relationships, and will remain anonymous due to the subject matter. They shared their opinions on sex karezza and how sex affects their relationships.
An accounting senior reflects on the dramatized and impractical situations that watching pornography gave him about intimacy. “Looking back on it, I realized how much it poisoned my mind and how unrealistic the expectations it set,” he said.
Early influences from the media altered his understanding of the climax and prioritizing the orgasm as the “end goal” of sex. This altered view changes the motives of sex to be a “skill to be mastered” and with the personal satisfaction of a climax rather than a personal connection between two people.
He feels that Gen Z often has the belief that sex has no lasting impact on one’s mental health, and that connection can be avoided after sexual intimacy. Sex has had a subconscious and conscious effect on his psyche, as he still remembers previous connections he’s had with people.
“You know, I heard someone say that once you have sex with someone,
it never goes back. And when I was younger, I was like, ‘Oh, whatever. You know, I’m not the type of person to get attached,’” he said. “But now looking back on it, I realize I still remember every person that I have sex with or I've had, and they'll probably stay with me for the rest of my life.”
Learning to communicate during intimacy and in aftercare is a goal that he and his partner have been working on together. “She explained to me that when aftercare is not done properly, it can lead to the feeling of being used just for sex rather than something that you know someone that you care for and like to share time with,” he said. “So it's something that I'm actively working on actually understanding.”
A business administration sophomore sees climaxing as a bonus to intimate experiences with her partner. She has had varying experiences of “good” and “bad” sex, but her priority is now pleasing her partner, she said. She has had instances where she doesn’t finish during sex, but receives pleasure from knowing how her partner feels.
When asked about whether her sex is generally meaningful, she said that is her goal – but has not been the truth with the majority of her experiences. She finds sex to be “sweet” and “romantic,” but not as intensely connective.
“On the other hand, I don't really feel like it's like a deep soul connecting thing,” she said. “It never really went that deep for me, though. Maybe I just haven't found a partner that I feel that deeply about.”
Karezza to her fits more with the foreplay and buildup than the actual act itself. “I definitely feel closer to my partner during the sweet romantic moments before versus just the let's get it over with part,” she said.
While some have experienced an ongoing discovery of sexual intimacy, a communications sophomore feels that karezza should be the case for sex the majority of the time. She said it is a great method to focus on the intent and experience of intimacy.
“I don't know about it from a guy's perspective, but from my perspective I think that that's the most exciting part and that's what makes me feel most comfortable or would make me feel most comfortable in that type of situ ation,” she said.
She feels that the media often skips over the loving and meaning ful parts of sex. “I feel like a lot of the media portrays sex to be sometimes passionate, but a lot of the time it's just like something that somebody needs and they crave,” she said.
Karezza seems familiar in its simi larities to queer sex, where there is more gray area of what defines sex, according to a food science senior.
“I feel like especially when you look at non-straight relationships, the word sex is such an umbrella term for that,” she said.
A graphic design senior high lighted the ways that straight sex often prioritizes a man’s pleasure over a mutual experience. “I feel like unfortunately with straight sex, like a guy and a girl or a penis and a vagina it's very dependent on when the man finishes, the sex is done,” she said. “That's just like how it has always been.”
“I don’t feel like penetrative sex has ever made me come. And so sex has almost become less of that for me and more about things I find more enjoyable than penetrative sex.”
When asked about sex without the goal of an orgasm, she feels that for her that experience is already removed. Exploring sex karezza is something she is open to.
solution to intimacy problems. Through karezza, sex has the possibility of being an experience that encourages a more mature and equitable version of sex. Though its techniques are different from most sexual methods, it offers a promotion of mutual satisfaction and prioritizes emotional health.
She stressed the way this idea is often reinforced by “a hit to the ego,” that some men feel when things like vibrators and toys could be introduced to make the experience more enjoyable for both people.
“It would be interesting or like to remove any of that and more just be like there with each other I guess,” she said.
According to J. Lloyd, karezza is done right when it connects love and spiritual connection to sex. In his theory, the method is a potential
Love Manifestation Circle
Story By Sarah Jagielski
Design By Anika Loganathan
Hey… I heard you’re looking for some love in your life. Let’s make this process quick, easy and exciting with a four-step love manifestation circle. This method is tried and true. Results guaranteed, or your money back — even though it’s free, you get the principle!
First and foremost, you MUST be in tune with the moon. She is our ultimate authority and will let you know when the time is right and good. Set your intentions, and set them strong. Let’s begin.
1. The gathering:
Manifestation starts at ground zero, so take care in gathering your materials. Whatever feels relevant and personal will do nicely. For instance, you could raid your kitchen for spices, forage for bits of organic matter down by the creek or fold yourself an origami paper crane. Opportunities are endless; it’s your ritual, after all. You will also need a source of music, as well as a notebook and a pen.
2. The set up:
This will work best past dusk. Come dressed as you please — you deserve to feel beautiful and in-tune with your own personhood. Bring a friend, or two, or four or more. Or nobody! I’m not here to judge. Find a place where you feel safe and cozy. If you wish to remain indoors, settle in the corner of a room and dim the lights. However, taking things outdoors is preferable. Settle in the grass, on the dirt or in some gravel. Bring a candle for mood purposes, but do be careful! The only desirable kind of firestarting in this case is the kind inside your heart.
3. The act:
Sip on a cup of tea or a glass of wine if you so desire. Turn on some music: elevator music, trip-hop, smooth jazz or something of that sort. Form a circle with the people and things you have gathered for this occasion. Sit crisscross. Fix your posture. Take deep breaths and focus on your intentions. Speak your intentions aloud or write them down in cursive. Use “I have” and “I am” statements instead of prospective, future-tense musings. Take your pen and let it flow. Soak up the moment.
Repetition deeply assists manifestation, so chanting is encouraged but whispering works too. Feel free to move about, but do not break the circle! You must remain aligned.
4. The closure:
Now, I won’t dictate your time usage. Wrap things up when you feel they are complete. Say “thank you” to the moon and to the universe. Take a deep breath and open your heart. Remember and hold onto the mood that you so carefully curated via your very own love manifestation circle.
Know that you will soon reap the rewards of that love you once longed for. Act intentionally from here on out, and be sure to cherish bits of love and joy in your daily life. Remember that love isn’t strictly romantic. As you are pure of heart, influx is inevitable.
ANTI-LOVE PLAYLIST
Story By Elsa Fuentes-Virabyan
Design By Maggi Benson
When the butterflies in your stomach flutter away and the glittering fantasy fades, love that goes awry leads to one of the sh-ttiest feelings in the world: heartbreak. Whether or not you have felt the all-encompassing melancholy from someone you have feelings for breaking your heart, the emotions the experience brings are ones that many of us are no stranger to. Loneliness, anger, regret and sadness all take their turns ebbing and flowing during the healing process. And as much as it sucks to go through in the moment, allowing yourself to feel all of these emotions gets you one step closer to getting
over what you might think is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. As all uncomfortable life experiences go, a foolproof method of dealing with them is listening to some great music that relates to oddly specific personal situations. This playlist takes you along the life cycle of heartbreak, from the initial hurt and yearning for a person you thought you knew better to lamenting what could have been and the anger that comes with being abandoned. Give it a listen here!
the drums - what you were caroline, please kill me - coma cinema mac demarco - one more tear to cry the growlers - black memories jeff buckley - lover, you should have come over mazzy star - halah fog lake - serotonin thee sacred souls - will i see you again? adrianne lenker - sadness as a gift amy winehouse - tears dry locust - your selfish ways solange - some things never seem to f*cking work charli xcx - you (ha ha ha) tame impala - solitude is bliss robyn - dancing on my own
Scan to listen!
DATING PROFILES!
Story By Lorenzo Cano Design By Ella Erdem
VICTOR CORDERO
Victor Cordero is an ambitiously artistic person who loves music, filmography and photography. They have a particular interest in fashion and travel. They’re looking for someone to share these interests with and who wants to travel, even if it’s just going on adventures around SLO. How romantic! Maybe they can serenade you with your favorite song while on a trip to Turks and Caicos, or the more local Cayucos. Message Victor here: vicorder@calpoly.edu.
ZOÉ SHAIKH GABRIEL KEESE-POWELL
Zoé Shaikh, the woman of many trades. With her extensive artistic skills, be prepared for some amazing valentine’s cards. She is a big Ethel Cain and Ado fan, and loves Miffy given her Dutch mom introducing it to her at a young age (gift idea, hint hint). In a partner, Zoé is looking for someone that checks all the boxes, including being respectful, kind and a decent human being that she can be whimsical with. You can message Zoé here: zdshaikh@calpoly.edu.
Gabriel Keese-Powell lives a fast lifestyle, literally. He is super into working on and racing old cars as well as surfing. He does sketch comedy too, so if you are looking for a laugh, you know who to go to. Gabriel studies city and regional planning and has been a longtime advocate for housing. Hit him up if you ever need help with a crossword. He is enamored with loud, brash and funny women. He also finds buying trinkets and furniture off Facebook Marketplace to be his love language, so you know just what kind of gift to get him. P.S., he did a backflip one time and found it pretty impressive. Message Gabriel here: gkeesepo@ calpoly.edu.
JULIA FLAVELL
You better be crafty if you like Julia Flavell! She is super into crochet and embroidery. Flavel also enjoys taking her artistic skills to the kitchen and loves to bake and cook. A few hobbies of hers include rock climbing, watching horror movies and studying snakes, spiders and sharks. She is looking for another girl who can share these interests with her, go on adventures and speak to her all day so get prepared to yap. In a partner she prefers someone who likes to stay in more, and does not smoke at all or drink very much. Go ahead and message Julia: jflavell@ calpoly.edu.
GRANT LOKE
The man, the myth, the legend … Grant Loke. From an adventure to staying inside, gaming or watching true crime, he’s your yes-man. He works two jobs, teaching surfing and at the Vintage Cheese Company in the SLO Ranch Market. Maybe charcuterie boards are in your future? In a partner, he is looking for someone that can laugh at the dumb things in life, be open with him and ultimately someone that wants to be around him as much as he wants to be around them. He also gives bonus points to anyone that is brave enough to meet his family... Feel free to message Grant here: gloke@calpoly.edu.
VALERIE BOLON
Valerie Bolon is an avid fan of all things nerdy. She loves video games, board games, arts and crafts, and Pokémon. Valerie also likes collecting cameras, physical music and playing the bass guitar. With such a wide range of interests, you definitely have something in common with her. She enjoys someone who can be calm and laid back and shares her aforementioned interests, but also someone who can be focused and attentive when it comes to board games (she makes a killer Dungeon Master in a Dungeon & Dragons). Hit her up here: vbolon@calpoly.edu.
MATTHEW NICACIO
My man Matthew Nicacio. He is a mechanical engineering senior, but is defeating the stereotype that engineers can’t party as he loves dancing (particularly salsa), cooking and gaming. He is not just looking for a dance partner, but someone who is kind, spontaneous and extroverted. Someone who is down to bust a move at any time. He looks for someone to share his curiosity about the world with, going on adventures is a must with him. Shoot Matthew a message: mnicacio@calpoly.edu.
Beans for two
Story By Bea Rienhoff
Design By Nhi Duong
Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you… fall in love! That’s what I’ve always said. Loving or crushing on someone is the best feeling. Whether it’s a class crush, work crush or maybe you are still crushing on your long-term partner, the giddy feel ings never dissipate. With love in the air and Valentine’s Day upon us, it’s time to take action on those feelings. There’s always the option to go out to eat, but the sentiment of making a meal from home can be more romantic and easier on your wallet. When you think of the perfect date night meal, maybe your mind goes straight to something like “marry me chicken,” but not everyone is comfortable cooking meat — especially chicken. So maybe go in another direction with “marry me beans.” Full of fiber and protein, beans are a great option for people looking to reduce their meat intake or get a few more veggies on their plate. Think about mixing in greens like chard, or even kale to help elevate the dish. With this easy recipe for two, you can not only impress your crush with a delicious meal, but maybe even be the bean to their heart.
Ingredients
1.5 tablespoons olive oil
1 small diced yellow onion
3 cloves garlic minced
¼ teaspoon chilli flakes
¼ teaspoon dried thyme
Instructions
1. In a medium sized frying pan heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil on medium heat.
2. Dice the yellow onion into small ½ inch by ½ inch pieces and mince the garlic with a knife or with a microplane.
3. When the oil has heated, add the onions and cook for 5 minutes keeping a close eye as to not let them burn.
4. While onions are cooking, drain your beans of choice and thoroughly rinse in the sink making sure to get rid of the juice.
5. When onions are starting to brown and become translucent, lower the heat to medium-low, add a drizzle of olive oil, garlic, dried thyme and red pepper flakes (if you want a little spice).
6. Continue cooking for about 1 minute or until garlic becomes fragrant.
7. Add ½ the can of beans into the pan and begin to mash them with a spoon or a potato masher.
8. Pour in the can of veggie stock and simmer the broth on low heat.
9. After 4 minutes add in your leafy greens and the rest of the beans and continue to cook for an additional 4 minutes.
10. If using chard, cut the leaves and stems into 1 inch bite-size pieces.
11. If using kale, cut the leaves off of the stems and cut into 1 inch bite-size pieces.
12. Mix in the parmesan cheese and lemon juice and salt and pepper the dish to taste.
13. Serve with toast of your choice and add extra cheese if you want!
1 14oz can of veggie stock (or 1.5 cups)
1 can of white beans (cannellini beans, navy beans, or great northern beans) rinsed and drained
2 medium handfuls of leafy greens roughly chopped like kale (stems removed), chard or spinach
½ to1 tablespoon of lemon juice (to taste)
¼ cup parmesan cheese + more for garnish
Salt and pepper to taste
Serve with toasted sourdough or another hearty bread
