Tom Waits: Alice (English text)

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ALICE by Robert Wilson/Tom Waits/Kathleen Brennan/Paul Schmidt after Lewis Carroll Concept by Robert Wilson Music and Lyrics Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan Libretto Paul Schmidt


CAST OF CHARACTERS Alice Charles Dodgson - Photographer - White Rabbit - White Knight Lily Rose First Daisy Second Daisy The Caterpillar Fish, a footman Frog, a footman The Duchess The Cook The Cheshire Cat The Mad Hatter The March Hare The Dormouse Father William His Son A Fawn The Black King The Black Queen The White Sheep Humpty Dumpty Tweedledum Tweedledee The Black Knight Chess pieces Victorian Vicars Oxford Scholars A cast of 11 is needed. The following roles can be played by the same actor: Lily – Cook – Sheep Rose – Black Queen Daisy – Fawn Daisy – Dormouse Caterpillar – Father William – Tweedledum Fish – William’s Son – Tweedledee Frog – Mad Hatter – Vicar Duchess – Humpty Dumpty – Vicar Cheshire Cat – Black Knight

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ORDER OF SCENES 1. Part Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene

1 1 2 2 3 3 4 4 5 5 6 6 7 7

Prologue An Afternoon at Charles Dodgson’s Down the Rabbit Hole The Garden of Live Flowers Advice From a Caterpillar Fish and Frog Pig and Pepper Letters I Alice Liddell Alone The Cheshire Cat The Mad Tea Party Father William The Wood Without Names Letters II Trial I

2. Part Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene Knee Scene

8 8 9 9 10 10 11 11 12 12 13 13 14 14

Through the Looking Glass Jabberwocky The Riddle Wool and Water Barcarole Humpty Dumpty Altar Boy Charles Dodgson Alone Doublets Dum and Dee The Thunderstorm White Knight and Black Knight Poor Edward Trial II

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SONGS 1. Part Prolog Scene 1 Knee Scene Knee Scene Scene Knee Scene

2 2 4 5 6 7 7

„Alice“ „Alice“ cont’d „No One Knows I’m Gone“ „Flower’s Grave“ „Tabletop Joe“ „Watch Her Disappear“ „We’re All Mad Here“ „Fawn“ „Reeperbahn“ „Fish & Bird“

2. Part Knee Knee Knee Scene Knee Knee Scene

8 9 10 10 11 14 14

„Fish and Bird“ cont’d „Everything You Can Think“ “Barcarolle” “Lost in the Harbour” “Altar Boy” „Poor Edward“ „Hymn“ „I’m Still Here“

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PROLOGUE An empty space. One by one identical figures enter as Charles Dodgson. They move in silence. Finally: CHARLES DODGSON

My head hurt... ENSEMBLE in various voices:

HEAD HEAT HEAT BEAT BEAT BOAT BOAT BOLT BOLT MOLT MOLT MALT MALT HALT HALT HART HART HURT

CHARLES DODGSON

My head hurt. While the first figures start to leave a large old-fashioned camera mounted on a tripod and covered by a black cloth is brought in; a chair in front of it. For a moment there is nothing else on stage. Suddenly somebody emerges from under the black cloth: CHARLES DODGSON sings:

It's dreamy weather we're on You waved your crooked wand Along an icy pond With a frozen moon A murder of silhouette crows I saw... And the tears on my face And the skates on the pond They spell Alice I'll disappear in your name But you must wait for me Somewhere beneath the sea There's the wreck of a ship Your hair is like meadow grass On the tide And the raindrops on my window And the ice in my drink Baby all that l can think of Is Alice


Arithmetic Arithmetoc I turn the hands back on the clock How does the ocean rock the boat How did the razor find my throat The only strings that hold me here Are tangled up around the pier And so a secret kiss Brings madness with the bliss And I will think of this When I'm dead in my grave Set me adrift and I'm lost in your hair But I must be insane To go skating on your name And by tracing it twice I fell through the ice Of Alice There's only Alice Young Alice Liddell has entered and taken her seat in front of the camera. Dodgson disappears under the black cloth.

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KNEE l AN AFTERNOON AT CHARLES DODGSON'S Charles Dodgson, the Photographer, hidden beneath the large black cloth, takes pictures of Alice Liddell. The lens of the camera moves towards her. ALICE

Stick. Stuck. Stock-still. Yes, I promise that I will. Tick. Tock. Time will tell. Hope of heaven, fear of hell. That's the way. No one in this empty house. Mr. Dodgson, I’m your mouse. Stand still. Stunned stone. Have no wishes of my own. That's the way. Left alone from six to seven. All good children go to heaven. Chase the chickens, choke the child. Touch my shoulders, wish me wild. That's the way. I’m a perfect Anglo-Saxon, Aren’t you? Have you got a code of honor That will do? That will do, Mr. Dodgson, That will do. That will do? Flashlight. Dodgson emerges from under the black cloth as a White Rabbit.

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SCENE l DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE Alice follows the White Rabbit, which has picked up the camera, i.e. she “falls� down the rabbit hole; numerous objects fall past her. She sees a mirror with her name written on it. The mirror breaks and her name is lost. Finally she comes to rest beside a little glass table. WHITE RABBIT sings:

But I must be insane To go skating on your name And by tracing it twice I fell through the ice Of Alice There's only Alice The White Rabbit goes through an opening and disappears. Alice attempts to go through it, too, but it shrinks to a tiny hole. Alice stretches out on the floor and peers through. She sees a beautiful flower garden beyond, but cannot reach it. ALICE sings:

Hell above and heaven below All the trees are gone The rain has such a lovely sound To those who are six feet under ground The leaves will bury every year And no one knows I'm gone Live me golden tell me dark Hide from Graveyard John But the moon is full here every night And I can bathe here in his light The leaves will bury every year And no one knows I'm gone The White Rabbit crosses the room and sets a bottle on the little glass table. It says "Drink me". After some hesitation, Alice does. She begins to shrink: the table grows to a giant size, the bottle in her hand gets bigger and bigger, and the little hole in the wall begins to grow into a larger opening again. Alice walks into the flower garden.

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KNEE 2 THE GARDEN OE LIVE FLOWERS Alice comes upon a bed of flowers: Lily, Rose, Two Daisies. They are humming to themselves, but they fall silent and bend away as she approaches. LILY

Who are you? THE DAISIES

Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

ALICE

I’m... I’m... I’m afraid I'm not sure who I am. LILY leans toward Alice:

You don't smell like anything.

ROSE

And of course you are what you smell like. ALICE

Little girls shouldn't smell at all. That’s it, I'm a little girl! THE DAISIES

What's your name? What’s your name? What’s your name? ALICE

I had a name this morning, but now it’s gone. THE DAISIES

Nameless? Shameless! Shameless! LILY

But of course a name means nothing. ROSE

Odor, child, is the only truth! THE DAISIES

Odor! Odor! Odor!

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ROSE sings, the others join her:

Someday the silver moon and I Will go to Dreamland I will close my eyes And wake up there in Dreamland But tell me who will put flowers On a flower's grave Who will say a prayer Will I meet a China rose there In Dreamland Or does love lie bleeding In Dreamland Are these days gone forever and always If we are to die tonight Is there moonlight up ahead And if we are to die tonight Another rose will bloom For a faded rose Will I be the one that you save I love when it showers But no one puts flowers On a flower's grave As one rose dies another blooms It's always been that way I remember the showers But no one puts flowers On a flower's grave The song reduces the flowers to tears. Suddenly we hear a loud chomping noise. The flowers wilt. Alice looks around and sees a giant mushroom.

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SCENE 2 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR Alice sees an open door in the mushroom; she wants to go through it, but it closes. A voice calls to her, and she discovers a caterpillar seated upon the mushroom, smoking a pipe. CATERPILLAR

Say, boy! Where do you come from? ALICE

But I’m a girl… at least I thought I was – CATERPILLAR

Thinking has nothing to do with it. Either you are or you aren't. ALICE

I’m little. That's all I know. I want to grow. CATERPILLAR

Up, you mean? ALICE

What other way is there? CATERPILLAR

Oh, lots. You could grow down, like roots. You could grow long, like me. You could grow out, like a big fat pig. Grow in, like a toenail. Grow out of your clothes, grow into your shoes... You could grow boring, even. ALICE

But being so little is boring! Very boring! CATERPILLAR

On the contrary! Little is great! Listen! Sings:

Well, my Mama didn't want me On the day I was born Born without a body I got nothin' but scorn

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But I always loved music All I had was my hands And I dreamed I'd be famous And I'd work at The Sands Tabletop Joe Tabletop Joe Everyone knows Tabletop Joe I had trouble with the pedals But I had a strong left hand And I could play Stravinsky On a baby grand I said I'm gonna join the circus 'cause that's where l belong And I went to Coney Island Singing this song Tabletop Joe Tabletop Joe Everyone knows Tabletop Joe And they gave me top billing In the Dreamland show I had my own orchestra Starring Tabletop Joe And the man without a body Proved everyone wrong I was rich and I was famous And I was where I belonged Singing Tabletop Joe Tabletop Joe Everyone knows Tabletop Joe The Caterpillar grows larger and larger. Alice knocks frantically at the door in the mushroom, as the Caterpillar's body engulfs the stage.

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KNEE 3 FISH AND FROG Alice stands before a door and knocks repeatedly. A footman, Fish, enters with a letter, and knocks at the door. It is opened by another footman, Frog. They pass the letter back and forth between them, the door is opened and closed, but Alice cannot manage to get through. FISH

For the Duchess. An invitation from Her Majesty to play croquet. FROG

From Her Majesty. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet. FISH

No! An invitation. For the Duchess to play croquet from Her Majesty. FROG

Yeah! An invitation. From Her Majesty to play croquet. For the Duchess. FISH

No! To play croquet. An invitation for the Duchess from Her Majesty. FROG

Yeah! To play croquet. An invitation from Her Majesty for the Duchess. They continue this ad libitum, tearing both the invitation and the dialogue into ever smaller pieces; the White Rabbit keeps appearing and disappearing. Finally Fish leaves, and the door closes. Frog sits down idly. ALICE

How do I get through that door? FROG

That depends which side of it you're on. ALICE

I’m on the outside, obviously. FROG

Too bad. If you were on the inside, I could let you out. ALICE

But I want to get in!

FROG

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What for? Everybody on the inside wants to get out. ALICE

Why? FROG

Because they're all mad inside. ALICE

They don't seem quite sane on this side, either! FROG

That too. ALICE

If there’s a door, it's meant to be opened! FROG

Open it, then. Alice opens the door and enters. Frog follows her.

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SCENE 3 PIG AND PEPPER Alice finds herself in a kitchen. A Cheshire Cat is licking the dishes and a Cook is wiping them dry. The Duchess sits on a throne with a baby on her lap. The baby cries, and the Cook throws plates at the Duchess. Frog hands over the pieces of the invitation and picks up the plates, gives them to the Duchess, who throws them back at the Cook. The White Rabbit sweeps up the broken plates. They all sneeze continually and loudly. Alice tries to sneak out unnoticed. DUCHESS

Pig! ALICE

I beg your pardon? DUCHESS

I said pig! Pig! Pig! ALICE

But I’m a little girl. DUCHESS

Pig – little girl, what's the difference? What's your name? ALICE

I seem to have lost it... DUCHESS

No name? Then you're a pig. Little girls have names, pigs don't. Voila! COOK

Your mother must have told you that many a time. ALICE

She never did. COOK

Then she's a bad mother. ALICE

She's a good mother!

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DUCHESS

A mother is like the letter M. Neither bad nor good. It all depends on the circumstances. If a mother says "You're mine", that's good. If a strange man says it, that's bad. CAT

True enough, if you're a little girl. For grown-up girls, it's just the opposite. DUCHESS

Who asked your opinion? ALICE

I don't believe I've ever heard a cat with an opinion before. DUCHESS

Oh, try. With practice you can believe almost anything. For instance, you could believe you were a little girl... COOK

... or that you know better then the rest of us... DUCHESS

... when you're all alone in the house. ALICE

But I'm not all alone in the house any more. I'm all alone right here. DUCHESS

Your place is here, child, in the kitchen with us. Kitchen and children, that's the rule. – Here! She throws the baby to the cook, who throws it back. They keep tossing it back and forth. COOK

Let a little girl in the kitchen, she'll make a mess. Pig! DUCHESS

A girl starts making a mess, next thing you know she has a baby, and voila, she's a mother herself. Here. ALICE

But I don't want to be a mother, all I want is to find a way out of here. COOK

A way out? You just got in.

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DUCHESS

The more doors you open... FROG

... the deeper in you get. The baby is thrown one last time, and ends up in Alice's arms. It has turned into a piglet. DUCHESS

Take care of it, child. I must go dress, or I'll be late for the Queen's croquet party. The Duchess, Cook and Frog exit. Alice is left with the piglet and the Cheshire Cat.

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KNEE 4 LETTERS I Charles Dodgson writes letters to Alice. He looks at her photograph. The Cheshire Cat comes out of the kitchen. Dodgson crumples up his letters and throws them at the Cheshire Cat.

Music: “Watch her Disappear� CHARLES DODGSON writes:

Dear Alice, last night I dreamed that I was dreaming of you. And from a window across the lawn I watched you undress wearing a sunset of purple tightly woven around your hair that rose in strangled ebony curls moving in a yellow bedroom light. The air is wet with sound. The faraway yelping of a wounded dog. The ground drinking a slow faucet leak. Your house is so soft and fading as it soaks the black summer heat. A light goes on and the door opens. A yellow cat runs out on the stream of hall light and into the yard. A wooden cherry scent is faintly breathing the air. I hear your champagne laugh. You wear two lavender orchids, one in your hair and one on your hip. A string of yellow carnival lights come on with the dusk, circling the lake with a slowly dipping halo and I heard a banjo tango playing a minor waltz. And you danced into the shadow of a black poplar tree and I watched you as you disappeared. I buried a rabbit's heart stuck with pins in the graveyard in hopes it would break this spell of love. But it did not. Dodgson leaves. The Cat plays with the crumpled letters.

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SCENE 4 ALICE ALONE Late at night. Alice cannot sleep. We see her as a woman in her late forties, in an elegant gown. She has been drinking, and is talking to her cat. ALICE

Move back he said, and back I moved, but it wasn't enough. Then he said move forward and I moved forward but it wasn't enough. And then move left and I moved left and then right; I moved right and it wasn't enough. No matter how I moved, Kitty, it wasn't enough. And then came the stillness. Hold still for a few seconds he said, it won't hurt you, you're a little girl, he said, you must learn to hold still, and I held still for ten seconds and it wasn't enough. Then he said hold still for fifteen seconds and I held still for fifteen seconds and it wasn't enough. And then hold still for forty-five seconds and I sat for what seemed like hours and hours. I held so still I thought I was dead. But I never blinked. You remember that day, Kitty, we had gone for a walk in the woods, you discovered a rabbit, a tiny white rabbit, and it sat there and stared at you frozen with fear? That's how I sat, Kitty. And he was there, he was there somewhere in a big black cloud, and his round shiny eye kept looking and looking. That's wonderful, don't you think, Kitty? How close he wanted me, and how far away he kept me. I felt the tears coming and the screams coming but I never blinked. I looked into the little eye and there was nothing there but me. That's wonderful, don't you think? Then something inside me unfolded, unlocked, and I lay back and let the look lie down on top of me, oh, the heavy long years of what is to be seen and what is not to be seen, what is to be shown and not to be shown, to be seen and unseen and is there ever a way out of that? But that was every so sweetly my artful Dodgson's dodge, and he stopped my clock, but it was not where anything else stopped. And I know why, Kitty. He stopped me to keep me from shipwreck and hailstorm, from the stink of dead lilies, the odor of shit. But those were my dreams, Kitty. I dreamed of burned bodies and rusting pavilions, of horses that galloped by night so distant that dawn never found them. I was wide with my dreams, that's what he hated. He wanted to keep me away from my dreams. With his card-games and word-games, and the pitiful monsters who lived in his head. But my monsters roamed, they drank blood and rutted in sulphurous mudbaths. They were mine, Kitty, and he took them away. She pets her cat.

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KNEE 5 THE CHESHIRE CAT An enormous cat's head appears in a tree in front of Alice. CAT

It's the night before morning and deep in the house A little girl nestles in bed like a mouse. The landscape is empty and scoured by dreams And the only thing heard is the sound of her screams. The voice of a grown-up repeats in her ear: Just be a good girl, there is nothing to fear, Nothing to fear if you hold yourself still – But the fact is, we know there are kisses that kill. It's no use pretending that help will arrive; For help often finds not a soul left alive. It's no use pretending that morning will come If our eyes remain shut and our tongues remain dumb. The dreams of young children stay fast in their heads As long as the grown-ups stay out of their beds. The stairways in nightmares are scary and steep, But the fear is forgot when we wake from our sleep. We must wake all alone, get up stretch, and grow: From the nine lives I've lived, that's all that I know. But wait! We can't waste the day with our rhythm and rhyme – A girl who must grow must find out about Time! ALICE

Which way should I go from here? CAT

Either way. East you'll find the Hatter; he's mad. West you'll find the March Hare: he's equally mad. ALICE

Everyone here seems mad. CAT

Oh, they are, they are. I'm mad myself. Quite mad. ALICE

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I'm not mad. CAT

Of course you are. If you weren't mad you wouldn't be here. He disappears, and Alice goes on her way.

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SCENE 5 THE MAD TEA PARTY Alice sees a long table laid with many places set out under a tree; behind it the White Rabbit lurks. The Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse are having tea. Alice tries to sit down. MARCH HARE

No room! No room! MAD HATTER

No room! No room! Go back where you came from! ALICE

But there's plenty of room. MARCH HARE

No there isn't. It just looks like it. MAD HATTER

There's only enough for us. MARCH HARE

Oh, let her sit down. What does it matter, hatter? MAD HATTER

Let her sit down. What do I care, hare? DORMOUSE

What's the meat of the matter? The heat of the hatter? The hate of the hatter? The hire of the hare? The lure of the pair? The cure for the care? MARCH HARE

Oh, shut up! They change places continually. Alice tries to get a cup of tea.

Are you going to the Queen's croquet party? ALICE

I haven't been invited.

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MAD HATTER

Just show up. She'll never know the difference. ALICE

That didn't get me very far here. DORMOUSE

You mean hare. MAD HATTER

Douse it, mouse! DORMOUSE

Natter natter natter Natter natter natter natter, This isn't making sense And if it were it wouldn't matter! They sing:

Nothing happens around here no more Nothing happens around here no more Nothing happens around here no more Nothing happens around here no more Hang me in a bottle like a cat Let the crows pick me clean but for my hat Where the wailing of a baby Meets the footsteps of the dead We're all mad here As the Devil sticks his flag into the mud Mrs. Carroll has run off with Reverend Judd Hell is such a lonely place And your big expensive face Will never last Have I told you all about the Eyeball Kid He was born alone inside a Petri dish And he was born without a body or a brow And you'll die with the rose still on your lips And in time the heart-shaped bone That was your hips And all the worms they will climb The rugged ladder of your spine We're all mad here

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And my eyeballs roll this terrible terrain We're all inside a decomposing train And your eyes will die like fish And the shore of your face will turn to bone Nothing happens around here no more Nothing happens around here no more Nothing happens around here no more Nothing happens around here no more An exhausted pause. MARCH HARE

We need a tale to while away the time. MAD HATTER

A tale! A whale of a way to tell the time! MARCH HARE

Can't tell him anything – he won't listen, you know. ALICE

Who? MARCH HARE

Time. MAD HATTER

But time will tell. Time tells the longest tale. Always. Time's tale is longer than yours. He never ends. MARCH HARE

But whether or not the tale gets told – that's another matter, hatter. DORMOUSE

Time out! Time out! Time out! ALICE

You mean we're out of time? MARCH HARE

No, time is out. ALICE

Of what?

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MAD HATTER

Of joint – oh cursed spite! I swear we'll never get this right... They continue changing places. ALICE

I haven't got all night, you know – I wish I were out! MAD HATTER

Of what? ALICE

Of here. DORMOUSE

You mean hare. MAD HATTER

Shut the door, mouse! ALICE

How do I find the Queen? MAD HATTER

Go through the forest. ALICE

How do I find the forest? MAD HATTER

Go through the tree. ALICE

How do I go through the tree? MAD HATTER

Through the door! There is indeed a door in the tree. Alice opens it, steps through and disappears. MARCH HARE

We need a tale that has no time. A timeless tale. I know! – Mouse! Tell us the tale of Father William! DORMOUSE

But I don't know Father William.

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MAD HATTER

You will once you've told us his tale. DORMOUSE

"You are old, father William, the young man said, And your hair has become very white‌� Father William and his Son appear and continue the ballad.

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KNEE 6 FATHER WILLIAM Father William and his Son recite their ballad, and then act it out. SON:

"You are old, father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head – Do you think, at your age, it is right?" FATHER:

"In my youth," father William replied to his son, "I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again." SON:

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door – Pray what is the reason of that?" FATHER:

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks, "I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment – one Shilling the box – Allow me to sell you a couple?" SON:

"You are old," said the youth, " and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak – Pray, how did you manage to do it?" FATHER:

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life."

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SON:

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose – What made you so awfully clever?" FATHER:

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough," Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!"

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SCENE 6 THE WOOD WITHOUT NAMES Alice has wandered into a dark wood. The White Rabbit appears among the trees, calling her name. Alice covers her ears. WHITE RABBIT

Alice! Alice! Alice! ALICE

That can't be me. I am not she. How can that be? I should be me! The White Rabbit goes away.

But who am I? And am I I? I cannot tell you why who or what is I – no matter how I try. Enter a Fawn.

Who are you? FAWN

Who are you? ALICE

I am me. FAWN

So am I. I am me. ALICE

Then we're we. FAWN

We are? ALICE

Don't you see? Here we are, just we two...

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FAWN

I am I, you are you... ALICE

But what does it mean? And what should we do? FAWN

How can we talk if we don't know who we are? ALICE

How can we know who we are if we don't talk? FAWN

What exactly do you mean? ALICE

I seem to be searching for something – FAWN

Yes, I know what you mean. ALICE

We seem to be searching together – FAWN

Together! That's lovely, I think. Don't you? ALICE

I do! Yes, that's what I meant... They sing wordlessly:

“FAWN” At the end of the song they come to a clearing. Alice and the fawn look at one another. ALICE

Why, you're a fawn! FAWN

So I am! A fawn! I'm a fawn! That's what we were searching for! And you are a – You're a girl! You're a little girl! Monster! Monster! Get away from me! Leave me alone! Get away! Away! Away! The fawn runs off.

ALICE

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I'm not a monster! I am a little girl. That makes sense to me – and the fawn said I was, so that makes two of us. Yes, I'm a little girl! I'm glad that much is clear, anyway. The Duchess and the Mad Hatter enter, in a mad hurry on their way to the Queen's Croquet party. DUCHESS

The Queen! The Queen! I’ll lose my head, I’ll lose my head! My knick, my knack, my knock, my neck, Oh my! Goodbye! And so on ad lib. MAD HATTER

We're late! We're late! The Queen won't wait! Oh jiminy jiminy jiminy! We're late! We're late! And so on ad lib. They go off in a hurry. Alice follows them.

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KNEE 7 LETTERS II The Cheshire Cat walks slowly across the grass, dropping Dodgson’s letters as he goes. Several Chessmen, the Queen's gardeners, enter. They find the letters and pick them up while setting up wickets for a croquet game. The Black King supervises the lay out. BLACK KING sings:

Round the curve of a parrot bar A broken-down old movie star Hustling on Easterner Bringing out the beast in her A high dive on a swimming pool Filled with needles and with fools The memories are short but the tales are long Down there in the Reeperbahn They called her Rosie when she was a girl For her bright red cheeks and her strawberry curls When she would sing the river would run She said she'd be a comedian Oh what a pity, oh what a shame When she said come calling nobody came Now her bright red cheeks are painted on And she's laughing her head off in the Reeperbahn Now little Hans was always strange Wearing women's underthings His father beat him but he wouldn't change He ran off with the man one day Now his lingerie is all the rage In the black on every page His father proudly calls his name Down there in the Reeperbahn Now if you've lost your inheritance And all you've left is common sense And you're not too picky about the crowd you keep Or the mattress where you sleep Behind every window, behind every door The apple is gone but there's always the core The seeds will sprout up right through the floor Down there in the Reeperbahn Down there in the Reeperbahn 32


SCENE 7 THE TRIAL A large croquet ground. The Black King and Black Queen play croquet with a crowd of Chessmen. Soon the Duchess, the Mad Hatter, and Alice appear. BLACK QUEEN

So. You finally got here. It's taken a while, I must say. But here we are at last. In front of all these people. What a shame! Aren't you ashamed? I would be. ALICE

I haven't done anything wrong! BLACK QUEEN

I'll be the judge of that. To the king: And so will you, won't you, dear? And so will all the rest of us. We'll all be the judge of that. ALICE

The judge of what? BLACK QUEEN

You know very well what. Otherwise you wouldn't have run away. ALICE

I was just trying to find a way out – BLACK QUEEN

And you've just gotten yourself deeper and deeper in, haven't you? We have witnesses. And evidence. A chessman gives the letters to the queen.

We have found a lot of letters And the sender isn't clear, But we know who they were sent to – And she's here. BLACK KING

They must have come from someone, But the letters aren't signed, And without some sort of evidence. I can't make up my mind.

BLACK QUEEN

The sender never signed them, So of course our course is clear: Arrest the girl whose name is on them –

ALICE

A name?

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BLACK QUEEN

– since she's here! Off with her head! BLACK KING

Not yet, my dear, there are a lot of witnesses to be heard first. DUCHESS

Aren't we going to play croquet? BLACK QUEEN

First we're going to play courtroom. Question: is she a little girl or not? DUCHESS

She wouldn't stay in the kitchen... BLACK QUEEN

Precisely! Then she's not really a little girl! Off with her head! DUCHESS

But I haven't finished my testimony! MAD HATTER

And I haven't finished my tea! BLACK QUEEN

You invited the accused to tea? MAD HATTER

I didn't invite her. She came uninvited. And she took a lot of time... BLACK QUEEN

Then she's a thief as well! Well, I think we have enough evidence now. Yes, I think we do. To Alice: Speak, boy! Do you admit your great guilt? ALICE

I don't admit anything! BLACK KING

That's important evidence. BLACK QUEEN

Call the executioner! Off with her head! The Executioner seizes Alice. A frame appears from above. The White Knight steps from it.

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WHITE KNIGHT

Here come I, a perfect gentle knight. To open doors and fill the house with light; I come with hope, to put an end to night. Sings:

They bought a round for the sailor And they heard his tale Of a world that was so far away And a song that we'd never heard A song of a little bird That fell in love with a whale He said: You cannot live in the ocean And she said to him: You never can live in the sky But the ocean is filled with tears And the sea turns into a mirror And there's a whale in the moon when it's clear And a bind on the tide Please don't cry Let me dry Your eyes So tell me that you will wait for me Hold me in your arms I promise we never will part I'll never sail back to the time But I'll always pretend you're mine Though I know that we both must part You can live in my heart He takes Alice by the hand, and leads her into the frame. Everyone sings a chorus. The frame ascends.

CURTAIN

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KNEE 8 THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS An empty space. The White Knight and Alice descend in the frame. He steps out in front, she in back. While he sings she discovers, that the frame is a “mirror”. She pulls faces, cleans it, etc. WHITE KNIGHT

sings:

So tell me that you will wait for me Hold me in your arms I promise we never will part I'll never sail back to the time But I'll always pretend you're mine Though I know that we both must part You can live in my heart On his side of the frame the White Knight gestures, and Alice mirrors his movements. Finally the White Knight stamps his foot, steps forward, and Alice crashes through the “mirror”. She is in a dark forest. ALICE

Where am I? And what is my name? WHITE KNIGHT

It doesn't make sense to say where you are if you don't know what your name is. To know what your name is doesn't make sense when you can't say where you are. ALICE

Is there a way to get out of here having gotten in? WHITE KNIGHT

Any way into the woods can also become a way out. It wouldn't be woods without a way out and you'll find the way out within the way in. Listen! Eight Victorian Vicars dance on stage.

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SCENE 8 JABBERWOCKY I Eight Victorian Vicars pass the stage, dancing. Alice and the White Knight watch. CHORUS OF VICARS

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought – So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought he stood. The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood. And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. The Victorian Vicars dance off. Alice and the White Knight remain.

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KNEE 9 THE RIDDLE Alice, astonished, watches the Victorian Vicars dance off. ALICE

What was that? WHITE KNIGHT

That was Jabberwocky! ALICE

What is Jabberwocky? WHITE KNIGHT

Jabberwocky is a riddle. Find out what the riddle means, and you find your way out of the woods. ALICE

How can I find out what it means? WHITE KNIGHT

How many doors did you open, coming in? So many questions must you ask, going out. Find the way out within the way in. I come to care. Do not despair. Sings:

Everything you can think of is true Before the ocean was blue We were lost in a flood Run red with your blood Nigerian skeleton crew Everything you can think of is true The dish ran away with a spoon Dig deep in your heart for that little red glow We're decomposing as we go Everything you can think of is true And fishes make wishes on you We're fighting our way up dreamland's spine With black flamingoes and terrible wine

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Everything you can think of is true The baby's asleep in your shoe Your teeth are buildings with yellow doors Your eyes are fish on a creamy shore The White Knight vanishes. Alice is alone. She sees a light shining deep in the forest.

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SCENE 9 WOOL AND WATER A shop suddenly materializes, and Alice finds herself inside. Its thousands of shelves seem full until you look directly at them, when you realize they are empty. A large White Sheep sits knitting something from her own wool. SHEEP

It's dark. ALICE

Yes, it's dark. SHEEP

Very dark. This is not a pretty picture. This could be a pretty picture, It has been a pretty picture, But not now, no. ALICE

No? SHEEP

No, not now, never. Oh, pity the sheep keeper keeping the sheep. And pity the shop keeper keeping the shop. But I am a sheep who is keeping a shop, Keeping a shop where nothing is shipped. Oh, pity the shopper who shops in a shop Where nothing is shipped except sheep. Shipper and shopper and shepherd and sheep, It's almost enough to make you weep. ALICE

Is nothing ever shipped to the shop? SHEEP

Nothing. Nichts. Nada. Niente. Nichevo. Oh, there is sometimes, but you have to close your eyes to see it. See? She points to a shelf, where goods appear and disappear. ALICE

But I can't see anything. 40


The White Sheep screams.

What's the matter? SHEEP

Nothing. It's just that I'm about to prick my finger. What exactly are you interested in buying? ALICE

I'm trying to find out the meaning of Jabberwocky. SHEEP

We don't sell meanings, dear. We tried it for years. Nobody wanted to buy them. ALICE

But I've got to find the meaning or... SHEEP

Calm down, dear. I've been lost in the woods for years now. It isn't so bad, really. She smiles and holds up a bloody finger.

See? What did I tell you? Have an egg, that'll make you feel better. ALICE

An egg? SHEEP

There's something very comforting about an egg: so perfectly smooth and white and round, a sense of completeness ... ALICE

Yes, an egg. I think I would like an egg! SHEEP

There's one on that shelf‌ at least there was a moment ago... Well, no matter. We'll go find it for you. The sheep’s chair turns into a boat. Alice and the Sheep get in it and sail away.

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KNEE 10 BARCAROLLE Alice and the White Sheep sail away, singing as they go. ALICE sings, accompanied by the WHITE SHEEP:

A cloud lets go of the moon My ribbons are all out of tune I'm skating on the ice in a glass In the hands of a man That I kissed on a train The children have all gone into town To get candy and we are Alone in the house here And your eyes fall down on me And I belong only to you The water is filling my shoes In the wine of my heart there's a stone In a well made of bone I will bring to the pond And I'm here in your pocket Curled up in a dollar And the chain from your watch Round my neck And I'll stay right here till it's time The girls all knit in the shade Before the baby is made The branches bend down to the ground Here to swing on And I'm lost in the blond summer grass And the train whistle blows And the carnival goes Till there's only the tickets and crows But the grass will all grow back And the branches Spell Alice And I belong to you As they sail, a wall appears, with a large egg sitting upon it. Alice leaps from the boat, and it sails off with the White Sheep.

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SCENE 10 HUMPTY DUMPTY A large egg-like creature, Humpty Dumpty, sits on top of a wall. Alice approaches. ALICE

If you please, Sir – what's on the other side of the wall? HUMPTY DUMPTY

Who wants to know? ALICE

I do. HUMPTY DUMPTY

And who are you? ALICE

I'm a little girl named... named... I'm afraid I don't know my name any more. But I thought perhaps there might be a door in the wall – HUMPTY DUMPTY

A door!! You cannot have a door in a wall. You'd lose the wallness of it. If you could get through to the other side of a wall, what's the point of having it? ALICE

What is on the other side, then? HUMPTY DUMPTY

Nothing, when you can't see what's there – or everything, since you can imagine whatever you please. On the other side of a wall, everything is possible, but nothing really exists. ALICE

But you can see the other side, can't you? HUMPTY DUMPTY

Of course I can, child. Someone always has to see both sides. I am the all-inclusive dialectic between here and there. If you want to know what's on the other side, you have to ask me. ALICE

Wouldn't it be simpler just to tear down the wall?

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HUMPTY DUMPTY

Don't even think that, child! Tear down the wall, what would become of me? ALICE

An omelet, perhaps. HUMPTY DUMPTY

What a nasty thing to say! ALICE

But I didn't mean – HUMPTY DUMPTY

Precisely. You don't mean. You're like everybody else, you say, but you don't mean. Now I, on the other hand, mean – even when I don't say. Take this, for instance. Sings:

Over here the ladies All want sweet perfume But there's never a rose and over there The roses are frightened to bloom So they never can grow And over here they need wool For weaving their baby's new clothes But nobody has any wool And the sheep are all lost In the harbour Lost in the harbour And over here They want diamonds to wear But there aren't any here And over there Everyone's hiding their tears But they're crying inside And the wall won't come down Till they are no longer afraid of themselves If you don't believe me, ask yourselves And I can come down To the harbour Down to the harbour

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And then I will Back up the ocean with my tears I still have a couple more years And then I can come back To the harbour Down to the harbour There! And that's only a beginning. Always rely on the letter M. ALICE

Why M? HUMPTY DUMPTY

Why not? ALICE

Oh, you are the person I've been looking for! I'm trying to find out what "Jabberwocky" means. HUMPTY DUMPTY

Jabberwocky again! They all want to know what Jabberwocky means. It's a wall of words, child, a wall of words. My advice to you is, see if it has any meaning without the words. ALICE

But how can I do that? HUMPTY DUMPTY

By holding still, child. Stand stock-still, and watch. The eight Victorian Vicars appear in front of the wall. They perform Jabberwocky as a pantomime. Alice watches, trying to understand what the gestures mean. When they leave, she looks questioningly at Humpty Dumpty – ALICE

What was that? Humpty Dumpty falls from the wall and breaks into pieces.

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KNEE 11 ALTAR BOY Two of the Vicars on their way home, a bit tipsy. VICARS sing:

Now he's a halter boy Bound up in leather and chains What became of old father Brown I'll never forget the Sunday he left He gave me something special in the rectory He's an Altar Boy He corrected me in the rectory And that's why I'm feeling so blue 'cause I'm an Altar Boy What about you Pater noster qui es in coelis Sancitificetur nomen tuum Adveniat regnum tuum And I can order in Latin Make 'em au gratin, Joe 'cause I'm an old Altar Boy That's why I'm so depressed I never got the rest of the dream Just the ritual Now I'm habitual Majoring in crimes that are unspeakable I'm an Altar boy That's what happened to me He's just an old Altar Boy Laying out there in the street He's an Altar Boy Hoping he can meet A woman dressed like a nun He knows there's got to be some around here Drinking across from the church Just a little Father Cribari wine On a Sunday morning time Remembering when he was busier Now he's getting dizzier

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Fill it up, Joe You know the routine, yeah I'm an Altar Boy, oh yeah Out there in the bar Making the scena With a novena Why is he winking At this time in his life He never took a wife 'cause he's an old Altar Boy Drinking Cribari wine An Altar Boy Down here in his prime What became of him Well, he's looking up the dress Of sister Marie He's rather depressed As you can see He hasn't been to Mass since nineteen forty-three 'cause he's an old Altar Boy He figured he got enough religion Already in him Now he's leafing through the dirty magazines He's an Altar Boy What became of him He's an old Altar Boy, yeah

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SCENE 11 CHARLES DODGSON ALONE It is late at night. Dodgson is alone in his room and cannot sleep. He stammers slightly on the letter “M". DODGSON

My head hurt. You have to understand that, otherwise nothing makes any sense. It was the noise, I think. Crash, scream, cry, clatter, clang, constantly clang clang, everywhere that noise. It hurt my head. The clatter of dishes, and children screaming and the darkness was stifling, the heat made me sweat. And the clocks! Clocks in their clock towers, beating the hours. There was no way to make it stop. All night, sitting alone, scratching on paper, trying to drown out the noise. But it was always there. And then she came, and the noise stopped. Oh, I know you think this is fanciful, some sort of metaphor. No. No, I can assure you of that. Nothing in my life has ever been as real as the silence she brought me. Have you ever felt what it's like when a great noise stops? Days and months and years of screaming and crying, the crash of crockery, the whining of cats, and then suddenly nothing. Silence came down over everything, and I could hear it, I could hear the silence descending. That's wonderful, don't you think? To be able to hear the silence, rolling across me, across Oxford, across all England, like a great soft blanket of fog. She stood there in the doorway, that's all, and time stopped. And I became myself. That's wonderful, don't you think? I was suddenly myself for the first time. I was everything I'd always wanted to be, just because that girl stood there in the doorway. And I thought, if only I can make time stop, she will stand there forever. Afterwards, of course, it grew darker. My head still hurt, only not so much. And not always. Mostly I was alone in a forest. I didn't know how I got there, but there seems to have been a path. Yes, I'm sure there was a path, you could see the whit stones in the moonlight. Was there moonlight? Yes, there must have been moonlight, I could see the white stones. And everything else was stillness, a perfect unending stillness, and for that I was glad.

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KNEE 12 DOUBLETS Charles Dodgson, dressed in the academic robes of an Oxford professor, poses a number of word puzzles for Alice. Scholars help her to work out the answers by holding up cards with large letters printed on them. DODGSON

From something OLD, make something NEW. ALICE

OLD - ODD - ODE - OWE - OWL - AWL - AIL - AID - BID - BED FED - FEW - NEW. DODGSON

Turn HATE to LOVE. ALICE

HATE - HARE - HIRE - WIRE - WORE - LORE - LOVE. DODGSON

Make a BOY into a MAN. ALICE

BOY - TOY - TOP - MOP - MAP - MAN. DODGSON

Turn a LILY into a ROSE. ALICE

LILY - LILT - TILT - TILE - RILE - RISE - ROSE.

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SCENE 12 DUM AND DEE Alice wanders further into the wood. She discovers two tiny men, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, dressed identically, mirror images of each other. DUM and DEE sing:

It always rains here... it always rains here...

ALICE

Who are you? DUM

I am Tweedledum. DEE

I am Tweedledee. ALICE

Are you twins? DUM

No! Contrariwise! DEE

Contrariwise! DUM

I am I and he is he – DEE

What do you take us for, a we? ALICE

You look identical to me. DUM

We're not! DEE

Contrariwise! DUM

I'm from the West, he's from the East.

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DEE

Contrariwise! I'm East, he's West. ALICE

How do you tell the difference? DUM

There isn't any. DEE

Quite the opposite. DUM

And contrariwise. ALICE

Do you know Jabberwocky? DEE

No, but if he lives in these woods, he knows us. DUM

Everybody in these woods knows us. ALICE

And contrariwise. DEE

They're all afraid of us. DUM

That's because we're fighters! ALICE

Who do you fight? DUM

Each other! DEE

And contrariwise! ALICE

But why? DUM

Because we're both so alike. 51


DEE

Whenever he fights, I fight too! DUM

And whenever I fight, he fights too! ALICE

Why not contrariwise? DUM

What? DEE

What? ALICE

If you won't fight, he can't fight. And if he won't fight, you can't fight. DUM

That'll never work. ALICE

Why not? DEE

If we don't fight each other – DUM

No one could tell us apart. They begin to duel with their umbrellas. DEE

Uh-oh! I'm soaking wet! DUM

Me too! They open their umbrellas ALICE

But it isn't raining! DUM

It will. Just wait.

52


DEE

Run for shelter! A sudden clap of thunder, the sky grows very dark. DUM

See? They sing:

It always rains here... it always rains here... They both run away and leave Alice. The thunderstorm begins.

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KNEE 13 THE THUNDERSTORM A wild thunderstorm blows through the forest, and blows Alice in its path.

54


SCENE 13 WHITE KNIGHT AND BLACK KNIGHT Alice is tossed about by the wind and rain. There is a sudden crash of thunder and lightning, and the Black Knight appears. He is dressed identically to the White Knight, with his visor down. BLACK KNIGHT

Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! You're m-m-m-m-y ... Suddenly there is another crash of thunder and lightning, and the White Knight appears, with his visor down. WHITE KNIGHT

Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! BLACK KNIGHT

She's m-m-m-my prisoner, you know. WHITE KNIGHT

Well, we must fight for her then. They fight. The Black Knight knocks the White Knight to the ground. The White Knight lies unconscious. The thunderstorm begins to recede. ALICE

Oh, you've killed him! BLACK KNIGHT

Nonsense, I've only knocked him silly. He's unconscious. ALICE

Oh, the poor old man! Please, please, dear sir, wake up, wake up! She tries to revive him. BLACK KNIGHT

Be careful! He's dreaming now. And what do you suppose he's dreaming about? ALICE

Nobody can guess that. BLACK KNIGHT

He's dreaming about you. And if he woke up and stopped dreaming where do you think you'd be?

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ALICE

Where I am now, of course. BLACK KNIGHT

You'd be nowhere! You're only a sort of thing in his dream! You'd go out like a candle. Bang! Just like that! ALICE

If I’m only a thing in his dream, what about you? BLACK KNIGHT

Ditto! Ditto! But I am a power here in these woods, and only the answer to the riddle of Jabberwocky can unseat m-m-m-me, and you have found nothing. You are m-m-m-y prisoner. You must come to the Queen, who will cut off your head. The Black Knight leads Alice away. The dark sky begins to brighten.

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KNEE 14 POOR EDWARD The thunderstorm has passed, and the sky begins to brighten. The White Knight lies alone on the ground. He comes to, sits up, and sings. WHITE KNIGHT sings:

Did you hear the news about Edward? On the back of his head He had another Face Was it a woman's face Or a young girl They said to remove it would kill him So poor Edward was doomed The Face could laugh and cry It was his Devil twin And at night she spoke to him Of things heard only in Hell They are impossible to separate Chained together for life Finally the bell tolled his doom He took a suite of rooms And hung himself and her From the balcony irons Some still believe he was freed from her But I knew her to well I say she drove him to suicide And took Poor Edward to Hell He walks off in the direction where he thinks Alice and the Black Knight were gone.

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SCENE 14 THE TRIAL II The Croquet ground, as in scene 7. The Black Queen, Black King, Chessmen, Duchess, Mad Hatter are all where we saw them last. ENSEMBLE sings:

You've murdered time and you must pay For the things you've done Drown him in tears I say And off with his bleeding head And hammer him into the ground As cold as the railroad spike Take the eyes from his head And boil him until he's dead Choke the life from him As cold as the hands of time You're now in the hands of time Enter the Black Knight and Alice as his prisoner. BLACK QUEEN

So. Here we are again. And we thought we could get away with something, didn't we? Going off like that, with a man old enough to be your father! Guilty, I'd say. Definitely guilty. ALICE

But what is my great guilt? BLACK QUEEN

Look at these letters! All of them scrawled with your name! ALICE

But I didn't write them, and I don't know who did! BLACK QUEEN

No matter. Off with her head! Enter the White Knight. WHITE KNIGHT

The little girl is innocent. The guilty one is here.

BLACK KING

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And who are you, exactly, if one may ask? WHITE KNIGHT

I am the White Knight. I am the one who wrote the letters. BLACK QUEEN

At last! A criminal! A confessed criminal! Off with his head! ENSEMBLE

Off with his head! Off with his head! They lead the White Knight to the guillotine. Drum-rolls, thunder crash, flash of camera, black-out, lights. The White Knight's head falls, but he now appears as the White Rabbit. General sensation. BLACK QUEEN

And who are you? WHITE RABBIT

I am the White Rabbit. I am the one who wrote the letters. BLACK QUEEN

Another confessed criminal! Better and better! Off with his head! ENSEMBLE

Off with his head! Off with his head! They lead the White Rabbit to the guillotine. Drum-rolls, thunder crash, flash of camera, black-out, lights. The White Rabbit loses his head, and is now Charles Dodgson. General sensation. BLACK QUEEN

And who are you? DODGSON

My name is Charles Dodgson. I am the one who wrote the letters. BLACK QUEEN

Another criminal! This is better than croquet! Off with his head! DODGSON

Let me assist you. This time, I take my head off myself. He takes off his beard and wig and steps forward. BLACK QUEEN

And who are you? LEWIS CARROLL

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It is I who have written you all. He takes the stack of letters from the Black Queen.

I took a photograph, and made time stand still. Now it continues its march. You wanted a verdict? Here. I tear up what I've written, you all disappear. The case is closed. He burns one letter after another, and one after another the Wonderland characters vanish. Lewis Carroll and Alice are left alone. ALICE

Thank you. LEWIS CARROLL

What for? ALICE

Now that the story is over, I think perhaps I can grow again. LEWIS CARROLL

Oh, but of course, the story isn't over yet. ALICE

It isn't?!? LEWIS CARROLL

No, first you must solve the riddle. You must tell me what Jabberwocky means. Alice whispers in his ear. He smiles. She whispers again. He continues to smile. She whispers again. His face falls. He leaves. She smiles and starts to leave. We suddenly see her as an old woman. ALICE

I went to a circus when I was a little girl and I saw two old ladies who were joined at the hip and I asked them how they got along, and the dark haired one told me they hadn't spoken a word to each other in thirty years "but we still get together over the holidays". And Dodgson told me once when I was a very young girl on one of three long summer afternoons that he had vanished into a dream and was still inside of it and that I was in it too, for I live inside his dream. He had fallen on the ice that time and broke his watch and he said he would never get it fixed and that neither of us are real and anything can happen and we will only wake up when we die. And he gave me a song in that dream and I haven't sung this in years and now I get up everyday and put on the face I face the world with...

Sings: 60


You haven't looked at me that way in years You dreamed me up and left me here How long was I dreaming for What was it you wanted me for You haven't looked at me that way in years Your watch has stopped and the pond is clear Someone turn the lights back off I'll love you till all time is gone You haven't looked at me that way in years But I'm still here

CURTAIN

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