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Wit of Women XXL Jennifer Lawrence Netflix Reality TV Astral Drift Insta-Art GIRLS Beatlemania M(YOU)SE Kingston Unseen Feature: Meagan Berlin Maverick Behaviour Kingston Galleries DIY: Dinosaurs Traveling Photography

IN THIS ISSUE 31 36 38 39 40 42 44 45 50 52 54 55 56 58 59


Constructing A PAinting Yeezy Taught Me Let Your Freak Flag Fly The Hair Enigma Spring Dressing Fitzgerald Revenge of the Nerds Muse x Queen’s Varsity Muse x Study Music Short End of the Stick Professions of Faith Heaven’s Ascent Perspective Poetry New Year’s Resolution Hail the Almighty Screen

EDITORS IN CHIEF Amy Gnesis Andrea Nazarian

LETTER FROM THE DIRECTORS: a cheesy goodbye, because we’re actually really sad.

We say goodbye to all of this. To all of the madness, the antics, the ghetto sirens that have become our morning alarms. We say goodbye to the bottle-strewn lawns, crisp snowfalls and surprise pier days. We look back at these years, trying to remember every politically correct classroom conversation and then tight skirts and dancing at Stages just hours later. Now, we wonder if we may feel this again? This sense of fullness, overwhelming happiness that suspends us over the hump-days and into the weekends. We have built a new family here with everyone, and to leave means to leave them all behind. Although, these people may remain our lifelong friends, it will not be the same. As this semester comes to a close, we will have to start our long list of goodbyes. At the top of our list, is MUSE. MUSE has taken over our lives in the best way possible - endless late night meetings, spilling into days of anxious thoughts—will we actually be able to finish this? We trusted in each other, in each other’s abilities, creative harmonies, keen eyes, and imaginations that spilled on to the pages of our next issue. Trust and creativity is what MUSE is built on and next year’s MUSE family are ready for the challange. Thank you for helping us Queen’s; thank you for helping us be ourselves here. Thank you for trusting us with your art, your words and your creativity. When we all go, this will not be forgotten. Amy, Andrea, Manzo, Angelica, Melissa

CREATIVE DIRECTORS Alex Mansourati Angelica Siegel BUSINESS DIRECTOR Melissa Huang ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Gabi Eliasoph ARTS EDITOR Emma Hoffman FASHION EDITOR Veronica Saroli LIFESTYLE EDITOR Matt Turano ONLINE EDITOR Aviva Webb PHOTOGRAPHY Katie Michiels LAYOUT DESIGN Claudia Pettigrew Jenna Demchuk Sam Houser Brittany Oates Isabelle Chiu Shane Senecal-Tremblay MARKETING Judy To Samantha Hume SOCIAL MEDIA Renee Tse EVENTS Devan Young FINANCE Devan Young FIRST YEAR INTERNS Lulu Tong Abi Conners

COVER PHOTO by Kelsey-Lynn Corradetti GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATION by Tro Kalousdian MODELING by Anicka Vrana-Godwin MUSE | 3


Funny is the New Black: The Wit of Women have played a significant role in Western popular culture: functioning as sex symbols, incredible musicians, brilliant actresses, talented writers, and thoughtprovoking artists. This estrogenic revolution is on the move yet again, this time to conquer the world of comedy. The rise of women in the entertainment sphere has proved one thing: women are f*cking hilarious. From daytime programming like The Ellen DeGeneres Show to late-night programming with Chelsea Handler, funny women are not only dominating television, but are also taking the Hollywood silver screen by storm as seen in films like Bridesmaids - am I right? No matter how many times female comedians shake the label “just a pretty face”, people continue to beg the question: ‘are women actually funny?’ Historically, female comics had to desexualize themselves in order to be somewhat respected as comedians. This meant that the jokes of the 50s and 60s were made at the expense of these sexually suppressed comedic belles. These women were trailblazers. Every generation of female comedians after them has fostered its own group of upand-comers who continue to push come-


omen in Popular Culture

dic boundaries with their own unique style. However, these women also experienced their fair share of challenges in the industry. These hardships haven’t stopped them; for the likes of Chelsea Handler, Tina Fey, Lena Dunham, Amy Poelher, Kristen Wiig, and Zooey Deschanel have re-embraced their sexuality and are fighting to prove that women can be smart, attractive, sexy, confident, and most importantly, flat-out hilarious. From Mary Katherine Gallager to Hannah, Jessa, Marnie, and Shoshanna of Girls, Leslie Knope of Parks and Recreation, Annie of Bridesmaids, and the Katy Herron/Regina George duo of Mean Girls, these characters are not just played by brilliant women, but are also written by them. These leading ladies are stepping back from facing the camera to working behind the scenes where they can allow their creative juices to challenge the historically male-dominated writing process, creating strong female leads and infamous all-female casts that are stronger, sexier, and wittier than ever before. Anyone who has stepped foot on a high school or university knows that Mean Girls and Bridesmaids are two of the most quoted films

of our time, and Lena Dunham isn’t just a voice of a generation; she is the voice of our generation. These female comedians have progressed from being the butt of jokes to the adored focus of huge audiences. We as audience members aren’t just accepting of their new comedic lead, we’re begging them to step up and make us LOL! Saturday Night Live even created a Women of SNL special, committed to honouring the contributions of their leading ladies. This year’s Golden Globes were arguably the most entertaining in recent history with hosts Tina and Amy. Let’s be honest, the excitement and anticipation for the Anchorman sequel increased tenfold when Kristen Wiig was added to the all-star cast. The cat’s out of the bag: witty women are an essential component to making any Hollywood production reach comedic gold. So if you’ll excuse me, tonight I have a date with my laptop featuring New Girl and Chelsea Lately. After I doze off I’ll dream of a better world, a world where Tina and Amy actually run for office in 2016. These ladies are here to stay and ready to parrtay!!

an article by KELLY MACPHERSON

The Absolute Best an article by ANNA TRAN

XXL is regarded as one of the most notable hip-hop magazines in the industry because of its expansive reach. The mag covers everything from sneakers to influential underground rappers to album reviews of more mainstream artists. Why “XXL”? The significance of the name lies in its rating system, which revamps clothing sizes to review albums. It labels poorer albums with “S” while “XXL” is reserved for the absolute best. Originally, the editors only picked 9 albums to fall under this category, the latest addition being Kendrick Lamar’s Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City. Every year, the magazine releases a list of 50 up-and-coming rappers they think will make it big. The list is then narrowed to the top 10 and these winners are featured on the magazine. This gives rising MCs and rappers credit where credit is due. Since its debut in 2008, the annual XXL Freshman Class has been generating a ton of hype around the web.

According to Noisey, the music branch of Vice Magazine, candidates are chosen based on three things: “1) Rappers who are peaking at the right time but have an unproven track record. 2) Rappers who are popular based on some modicum of popular support/fanbase and 3) Rappers who are interesting.” The XXL staff chooses 9 of the top 10, while fans are able to cast a vote for the last emcee. Past winners include Macklemore, Kendrick Lamar, Lil’ B (the infamous “Based God”) and Kid Cudi. Despite the number of artists who have blown up after being on the cover, some celebrities have chosen not to be listed, including Drake and the diva herself, Nicki Minaj. In 2010, Minaj explained on behalf of both of them to mtv. com: “With all due respect, we felt like we kinda have graduated from the freshman class.” 2013’s list has been revealed and some big contenders include Casey Veggies, Hit-Boy, Hoodie Allen, Joey Bada$$, Logic, Schoolboy Q and Brampton, Ontario’s own, D-Pryde. Russell Llantino, better known as D-Pryde, was born and raised in the Greater Toronto Area. His YouTube videos have a combined viewership of over 57 million and his Twitter alone boasts over 96 150 followers. Not too bad for a 19-year-old Canadian, now working in America as a rapper. Making this list could definitely boost D-Pryde’s success. While being an Asian rapper in a mainly black and white industry may seem like a setback, his fan-base, largely Asian in itself, is growing quickly. There’s a fair chance he might make this list because of this very same ‘setback’. The final list release date is unknown at this point, but the social media world is continuing to make their predictions. Stay tuned.

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Lay down the

LAW an article by JENNA DEMCHUK Jennifer Lawrence is SO hot right now. There is no denying that this sass-queen actress is taking over Hollywood. At just 22, Rolling Stone has already deemed her the most talented young actress in America. You may know her from her badass tribute role in The Hunger Games, or as the feisty recovering sex addict in Silver Linings Playbook, or even as a recent Saturday Night Live host. If none of that rings a bell then you’ve obviously been living under a rock because this babe is owning it everywhere. The stunning Kentucky-native’s reputation has been soaring ever since she appeared in the gritty drama Winter’s Bone in 2010, from which she scored an out-of-nowhere Oscar nomination. This Oscar nom along with another one this year has made her the youngest actress ever to be nominated for the “Best Actress” award twice. Spotted on almost every red carpet, Jennifer is sweeping this year’s award season. Most recently, she won her first Oscar for “Best Actress” for her killer performance in Silver Linings Playbook. She’s already snagged a Screen Actors Guild Award and Golden Globe for “Best Actress” in the dramatic-romantic comedy. To top it all off, rumour has it that she’s now hooking up with Bradley Cooper on the sly, which, if you ask me, is the hottest play in any silver lining playbook. It’s clear that this girl is on fire. Not only is she downright sexy, she’s a freaking talented chick. Landing the most coveted young-actress role in Hollywood, Jennifer slayed it in The Hunger Games. Playing the bow-wielding Miss Katniss Everdeen has officially made Jennifer the highest grossing action heroine of all time. Hollywood film critics gushed about her performance, saying she was key in making it such a hit. Now, her performance in Silver Linings Playbook is raising her up to Jodie Foster or Julia Roberts’ status. She may seem casual about her work, but in her short career she has already excelled in drama and comedy while also anchoring an action franchise; she’s a triple threat. One of the biggest names in Hollywood to date, Jennifer’s not only winning awards, she’s also winning everyone over with her witty sense of humour and chill attitude. On top of that, she can totally shoot you in the face with a bow and arrow if you cross her, which probably comes in handy after she casually says whatever the hell she wants. J-Law keeps it real. She is the girl of the moment, hard working and scandal-free.

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I love Canada. It’s a land where citizens have the right to freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and gay marriage. The only downside I see in Canada as a country is the fact that it does not have access to American Netflix. In case you were on Oceanic flight 815 (I’ve been watching a lot of Lost on Netflix recently), Netflix is a site for streaming TV shows, movies, and even a few Netflix exclusive episodes, all for the price of $8 a month. When ‘SOPA’ (Stop Online Piracy Act) decided to actually practice what it preached, I was numbed by the idea that the end of an era was near, an era of watching and streaming all my favourite TV shows online at the click of a button. SOPA closed down the main video streaming site, MegaVideo, a dear friend of mine for whom I mourned, along with several of its’ sister sites. Then Netflix came along and all of a sudden the numbness in my body dissolved. I was once again allowed to stream videos and movies, and this time I didn’t have to feel guilty about it. No more guilt, no more shame, and so much variety with no risk of viruses! Then I realized that Canada was being cheated and deceived! It wasn’t a magical place anymore because I had made an alternate discovery, American Netflix. In case you are unaware, American Netflix has a much larger and current database; it’s actually shocking how much better the American Netflix is in comparison to the Canadian Netflix. From the latest Girls episode to the classic Breakfast at Tiffany’s, it’s all there. It was, and still is, a much happier, majestic place for me, but because I live in Canada, literally right above the United States, I am not allowed to indulge in such a land of fantasy. Ever since I have become aware of this dreamland, I have not been able to release the rage constantly growing inside of me. WHY CANADA, WHY? Why must a country that literally shares a border with the United States be punished in such a way? What did we do wrong? Did we not help them fight a war, or reject their Trenta-sized cups? Did we not refuse to allow Olive Garden into our home and native land? (But seriously, why do their bread sticks get so hard so fast..?) I’m not exactly sure what we did, but whatever it was, it must have been real bad. What can we do, fellow Americans, to regain your trust and to be allowed to have your version Netflix in our country? I will stop at nothing. I will get petitions signed and rally at the White House. I will buy only American products and pledge allegiance. Whatever it takes, I know we can make it through. Until you come to your senses, America, I will demand justice and will refuse to stay deprived with my Canadian Netflix. I will wait for as long as I have to for the day I am able to watch Girls, Homeland, and Downton Abbey on demand.

an article by GABBY ALTMAN

an article by JENNIFER SHAMIE

MY VERY OWN REALITY TV SHOW William Shakespeare famously said, “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts.” Although quoted from almost 500 years ago, Shakespeare’s words speak to the contrived and manipulative way in which we behave and interact with each other today. In our society, reality stars are most criticized for their phoniness and desire for fame, however I believe we all need to re-evaluate the degree of “realness” in our own lives. In the twenty-first century, we hide behind computer screens and create fake online personas. We “poke” people on Facebook who we don’t know. We end long-term relationships via text and we participate in “Twitter wars.” We are a society obsessed with receiving constant attention and approval from others. As we develop more Twitter followers and Facebook friends, there is a significant decrease in our communication and interpersonal skills. Some could even say our generation is characterized by an aura of social awkwardness. We are deeply egotistical in the sense that we believe our lives are worthy of constant status updates and “hash-tagged” pictures which we post online daily for the world to see. In essence, we are each starring as the lead character in our own hit reality TV show. When I asked a group of my friends why our culture is in love with real-

ity TV (I am also a huge fan myself), most answered, “We watch not only for entertainment purposes but because it makes us feel better about ourselves.” Do Snooki’s arrests for drunken behaviour and the cat-fights shown repeatedly on the Real Housewives series actually make us feel better about ourselves? Maybe the better question is - are our own lives any better? Do we comfort ourselves by looking at Facebook pages or Twitter and Instagram accounts and think: “thank God I’m not like that girl”? The other weekend at the bar, one of my friends noticed a guy wearing a GoPro camera on his head. Although we didn’t think much of it in our slightly intoxicated state that night, the next morning we began to wonder: who was he filming? What was he going to do with the footage? Perhaps some Queen’s student reading this article has a starring role in his film and maybe that footage is circulating online right now. Whatever the case may be, it left me thinking that someone is always recording or watching our personal lives just as devoted fans follow an addicting reality television show season after season. Don’t get me wrong - I am no different than any other Facebook, Twitter or Instagram user who uploads endless pictures and trivial comments about themselves. However, I don’t think we should be quick to judge reality TV stars as inferior citizens because in reality, we “act” just like them.

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InstaArt an article by CLAIRE PIERCE

Instagram. Awesome? Yes. Annoying? Often. Ubiquitous? Of Course. But is it art? In the last year Instagram has become increasingly embedded into our daily lives. From providing a voyeuristic look into the lives of those we wish we were friends with, to that girl you went to high school with who takes nothing but selfies, it has become the ultimate purveyor of FOMO and an inescapable irritant. Yet something separates the mundane accounts from the great, and that something isn’t dependent on the subject of the photo, but rather an eye for the artistry that lies at Instagram’s sepia-tinged core. In order to declare Instagram “art,” one must first tackle the almost-always tautological question, “What is art?” Perhaps the easiest determinant is intent, which is consideration given to subject matter, context, composition and colour. Instagram feeds seem to differ from family-vacation snaps in that you don’t just take a picture of anything; you are looking for the perfect thing. Instead of thirty pictures

of pigeons there is that one beautiful snap of you smiling serenely as flying rats perch on your outstretched arms. This eye towards curation helps to elevate the medium. As for composition and colour, anyone who has ever sat across the table and been forced to look at seven different filters (Do you like this one better?) by someone trying to get the perfect shot of their eggs benedict can tell you—composition is definitely a consideration. But Instagram isn’t just for the Jenner sisters and anyone eating sushi, more and more traditional artists are turning to it as well. In photographers Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin’s current show at the Gagosian Paris, many images have an Instagram-like quality about them, except instead of being viewed on a screen they are exhibited in a larger-than-life gallery made to look like a white cube. The subject matter of these photographs are intimate and candid and would not seem out of place on Instagram, but their format; large and in a traditional gallery; helps to establish that they are in fact, art. It is up to the viewer to

question: does displaying something in a gallery rather than viewing it on a phone make it art? Whenever there is innovation in art there are those within the institutions who dismiss it as low art. This has been photography’s cross to bear since the nineteenth century, but the last hundred years has seen widespread acceptance of the medium and with the emergence of museums dedicated solely to photography, its cultural value is being appreciated more than ever before. Writing about the exhibition “Human Rights Human Wrongs” at the Ryerson Image Center in Toronto, Sarah Milroy was struck by how much our experience is shaped by editorial intervention when selecting photographs to run in newspapers and magazines. Perhaps then, the greatest value of Instagram as a medium is this lack of censorship. Technological advances even over the last few years have made us a more connected global community than ever before and a picture is surely worth a thousand words. So what are you taking pictures of?

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an HBO unoriginal program HBO’s Girls fails at being a compelling television show. This is not because it is driven by an all-female-cast or constructed by a female mind. It is because all the female characters have remained exactly the same throughout the show’s course. There has been no change, very little development, and it seems these girls either solve their problems by not doing anything about them or screw their way out of the situation. A perfect example of this can be found in one of the latest episodes, appropriately entitled “Bad Friend,” where Hannah (Lena Dunham) gets into a fight with Marnie (Allison Williams) after a cocaine-induced frenzy that night. By the end the episode, Hannah goes back to her apartment and decides to have sex with her creepy drug-dealer landlord. Why? No real reason, because he isn’t even mentioned in the next episode. Or the episode after that. In fact, in the next episode she spends the entire time with a 42-year-old man she met that day. In fact, I would argue that the men in season one of Girls have more compelling dramatic value than the girls. Let’s consider Adam; throughout Hannah’s time with Adam we learn so much about him: he isn’t the biggest fan of his parents, he has a passion for carpentry and theater, and he’s a bit of a freak in the sack. He really has a thing for Hannah and those feelings change from a casual f*ck-buddy to something he can truly connect with. That

and he completely lashes out at Hannah in the season finale and puts her in her place for who she really is. Both Entourage and Sex and the City were on HBO. Both were able to shed all of the censorship of regular television and be exactly who they wanted to convey. Girls just cannot decide what to do. Is it a purely character-driven mosaic of young women in New York? Is it a series of awkward situations meant to be funny and authentic? Does its plot have any relevance? Girls just seems so empty at its core. What little plot there is seems irrelevant. The actions of the characters have no results. The characters themselves are drawn thinly and we only know them based on their strange experiences we watch every week. Bottom line: in a season and a half, nothing has changed. The girls of Girls have remained exactly the same. I honestly cannot think of anyone who would want to watch a show where the characters remain exactly the same throughout. We don’t have to recognize ourselves in characters, but we do have to recognize that what they do, who they are and how they develop is important. This is fundamental for any movie or television show to be successful. That is why Girls fails; not because I am a guy who doesn’t get it, not because I can’t relate, but because Girls is, plain and simple: poorly written, unstructured and not even close to interesting television. Period.

an article by JASON ROGERS

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There is one thing that I have in common with almost every teenage girl of the 1960’s: Beatlemania. By the time I began attending grade school, I had watched all of the Beatles’ feature films upwards of 30 times, and was legitimately convinced that Ringo Starr was my one true love. Over a decade later, I’ve given up on my dreams of marrying a Beatle, but one thing has not changed: I cannot get enough of them. That being said, this year is a special one not just for me and for Beatles fans around the globe, but for the history of popular culture in general. March 22nd 2013 marks the 50th anniversary of the Beatles’ first LP, Please Please Me, which took the world by storm half a century ago.

When the Beatles first appeared on the world stage in 1963, they were teenage heartthrobs. The response they got from the general public was unprecedented and oftentimes uncontrollable. Young men started growing their hair to resemble the Beatles’ signature “moptop.” Each of their concerts was attended by thousands of screaming, crying, and fainting girls. Photos from their touring years depict policemen struggling to hold back mobs of hysterical fans struggling to touch one of their favourite Beatles. Throughout the Beatles’ seven-year career, they produced 12 original studio albums and their sound developed in astounding ways. They transformed their image phenomenally: their reputation evolved from clean-cut teen celebrities to one of the most musically innovative bands in history. In 1965, The Beatles played in front of over 50,000 fans at the first ever stadium rock concert in New York City. They pioneered countless audio recording techniques such as the use of guitar feedback, as well as the inclusion of the Indian sitar in pop music. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was the first “concept album” and was also the first to feature printed lyrics on the album. Their innovations were extraordinary. In addition, one of the most amazing things about the Beatles is the lifespan of their music. Every time I listen to Abbey Road, (which I can assure you is more times than I’m willing to admit), I feel like I’m hearing it for the first time. Even though I know every song inside and out, I still find myself discovering new subtleties that draw me in more and more each time. Although the Beatles stopped touring in 1966, other than an impromptu concert on their studio’s rooftop in 1969, they were able to keep fans captivated with their ever-evolving musical genius. Though the group’s dissolution in 1970 was the cause of millions of broken hearts, they have continued to inspire listeners to this day. That is what really makes their music so amazing. Something about those four men from Liverpool, and the music they created, was magical enough to transcend all borders: age, gender, language, and location. In 1963, The Beatles captured the hearts of the world. Fifty years later, they are still inspiring fans. MUSE | 17



At Queen’s, we work hard and party harder - who’s to say where we do our best learning? You guys look pretty smart to us... All photography by CYNTHIA OH at.....@ Save The Rave STAGES Madeon, Autoerotique, Zedd @ Stages Nightclub for more event photography, check out www.wesavetherave.com

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造 Meagan Berlin 造 www.facebook.com/BerlinFineArt berlinfineart.tumblr.com

Liv Mathis/Marilyn Agency. 2013. Graphite and Acrylic Marius Schelle/Q Management NY. 2013. Conte Alanna Whittaker/FORD NY. 2013. Conte and Acrylic. Lara Stone/IMG. 2012. Graphite.

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MAVERICK BEHAVIOUR A Tour of Ontario Hall and the Fine Arts Programme

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April 22-27th. Mark it off in your calendars to see some inspiring artwork done by your fellow students right on Queen’s campus. Little do many people at Queen’s University know, there is a buzzing creative hub nestled just inside of Ontario Hall. Since the Fine Art Programme is so small, it tends to go unnoticed—except for the annual, week-long show in April when students from the fourth-year graduating class are able to show their work to the rest of the student body. For the show, Queen’s BFA students transform the studio building into a gallery and showcase their hard earned final thesis work in the most imaginative ways the space will allow.

full of stones to print on and one of screens. The painting studios are higher up in the building and are brightly lit, lofty spaces with nooks and crannies that hide tables, easels, toolboxes and more. The third floor is a mix of art history and fourth year studios, and the secret WMMR print room full of Mac desktops and a gigantic, temperamental printer. If you take the time to walk through Ontario Hall, you will feel what the Programme embodies. The building is a serenely quiet yet imaginatively buzzing beehive of students. Everyone is in there at least 5 days a week and works extremely hard to produce a high caliber of artwork.

Hopefully you have had the good fortune to get lost in Ontario Hall at some point or another, or perhaps you’ve known an art student and they’ve taken you on a tour through its seemingly clandestine corridors. If you haven’t experienced a walk through Ontario Hall, the building contains several old looking studios that add to its charm and allow students to experiment with ease.

The final show will have a bit of everything. There are painters, printmakers, sculptors, video workers, photographers and more in our class and we have all been taught to push the envelope. Push or be pushed. We call our collective ‘Maverick Behavior’ because we’ve always been the black sheep year in the Programme. We are constantly getting into trouble and making a mess in the best way we know how.

Each floor holds different treasures: from the woodshop, welding and sculpture studios in the basement, to the beautiful and sprawling print studios on the second floor, to a room

Celebrate our four years by visiting us on Facebook, or our website:

www.maverick-behavior.com. article and images by ANICKA VRANA-GODWIN

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The Union Gallery is a non-profit organization committed to increasing awareness and appreciation of contemporary visual arts. The gallery is staffed by arts professionals who work in conjunction with a Board of Directors, which consists of Queen’s art students and arts professionals from the university and community. The gallery is open to the public on a regular basis and everyone is encouraged to attend gallery events and programs. The gallery is student driven and therefore provides students with professional skills training that will assist them in their art careers. As well as showcasing university student artists, the gallery presents the work of professional artists with regional, national and international profiles.

artignite is a winter showcase of arts and culture events in Kingston, including an eclectic mix of shows, exhibitions, concerts and art activities on the Queen’s University campus, in downtown Kingston and all around the city. The 2013 edition featured over 30 events, many of them free. “artignite showcases the breadth of student and local talent there is truly something for every artistic taste,” says Roxy Denniston-Stewart, co-chair of artignite and Associate Dean of Student Affairs at Queen’s. “It is a fabulous opportunity for everyone to experience the richness of the Kingston arts community.” 2013 was the fourth year of the arts showcase and included film, dance, theatre, music, crafts, comedy and visual art presentations featuring students and members of the Kingston cultural and arts community. All arts groups in Kingston are welcome to submit events to artignite. The fifth annual showcase dates are Friday, 24 January to Sunday, 9 February 2014. To find out more, visit artignite.ca

Union Gallery reception for Queen’s Lace and Inhabit

artignite: A Night On Broadway

Creative Crowdfunding at Modern Fuel Modern Fuel is launching a fundraising campaign next week called Step to the Tett through the crowdfunding site Indiegogo. com. The funds will be used to help the artist-run centre move from its current location at 21 Queen Street to the Tett Centre for Creativity and Learning next year. Artist-run centre is the common term of use for artist-initiated and managed organizations in Canada. Modern Fuel presents contemporary art along with other pubic events such as lectures, performances, and screenings. Modern Fuel is a non-profit organization and does not charge admission fees. As a result, Modern Fuel needs the support of the larger community.

During the campaign Modern Fuel will offer an impressive list of perks that will make you want to donate to the cause again & again. T-shirts, novelties, and artists’ prints are just a few items you can get in return for supporting a good cause. Visit http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/step-to-the-tett/ on April 15th to check out their campaign video, consider a small donation, and pass it along to someone else who supports the arts community. Modern Fuel is trying to reach the goal of $15,000 in four months. No contribution is too small. Modern Fuel Artist-Run Centre is a non-profit organization facilitating the presentation, interpretation, and production of contemporary visual, time-based and interdisciplinary arts.

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an article by EMMA HOFFMAN

1 With metallic colours and Hawaiian prints on the horizon of spring style, I’ve been inspired to combine the seemingly divergent aesthetics of futuristic and prehistoric into a handy DIY. If you’re looking to organize all those memos and papers before exams roll around, or just to get crafty and spice up your bulletin board, check out this quirky rendering of everyone’s favourite primordial giant lizard—the dinosaur. Get ready to party like it’s 3012, or 12000 years ago, with these metallic dinosaur tacks and magnets. You will need some plastic toy dinosaurs, or any other types of small plastic critters, which you can get from your local dollar store.You will also need some thumb tacks, magnet tape, hot glue, and opaque paint or spray paint in a groovy metallic colour.



Paint each dinosaur so that its surface is fully covered. You may want to wear rubber gloves for this step so as not to ruin one’s manicure.

This is an optional step, but you can use a toothbrush to create a Jackson Pollack-esque, paint-splattered effect on the toy once the spray paint has dried.



Either use a hot glue gun to attach the dinosaur to a thumb-tack, or attach a piece of magnet tape to the back of the toy for some freaky fridge fun!

Once everything has dried, use these dynamite dinos to get ORGANIZED!

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SIX COUNTRIES. TEN WEEKS. THOUSANDS OF PHOTOGRAPHS. How a gap year backpacking trip from Dublin to Prague changed my photography

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Versailles: Chateau Versailles in Versailles, France

Dublin: Commerce building in Ireland The first photograph was taken over the Atlantic Ocean through the plane window, barely cropping out my sleeping neighbour’s shoulder. The last photograph was taken from a train and depicted long shadows on a short platform on the outskirts of a city near the border between Germany and the Czech Republic. As you can imagine, compensating for window glare was an essential part of my photographic experience traveling through Western Europe. In the months leading up to my departure there was an ongoing debate as to which of my cameras would be most appropriate to bring on the trip. I carried a 45L backpack that, once filled with essentials, had little room left for fragile lenses or detachable flashes. Then again, this was a rare opportunity. I ended up com-

Orleans: The Loire in Orléans, France promising with a camera small enough to be tucked away but powerful enough to take high-resolution pictures. In the past, ‘photographer’ has been a role I play every so often: there were times when I was being “a photographer” and then as soon as the session ended or I had what I needed, I wasn’t anymore. However, on this trip the opportunities and the need to “keep the camera out in case we saw something” never ended; everything and anything from Instagram-esque images to more artistic pieces are works that I now have in my portfolio. Over the time I traveled, the camera became much more than just a camera. On a trip so open-ended I had the luxury (and at times the difficulty) of having no obligations. Sightseeing through a lens led me through cow fields in the North of Wales and into a hailstorm along the Seine in Paris—all in the name of “getting the

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London: St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, England hailstorm along the Seine in Paris—all in the name of “getting the shot.” Moreover, photography was the reward of a long walk as well as the impetus to head out in the first place. Taking pictures on this trip was nothing like taking headshots against a backdrop where if the lighting was off or I caught the subject blinking I could just take the shot over again. It was uncut and often times there was only one chance and whether I got it or didn’t, there was no way to recreate the moment. Because of this, the trip made me more observant as a person, and as a photographer, gave me a new appreciation for the perfect imperfection of a candid moment.

30 | ART

Gloucester: The cloisters of Gloucester Cathedral in Gloucester

Constructing a Painting

Decoding the practice of contemporary figure painting. Body painting & photography Film & behind scenes photos Model Make-up


4th year BFAH student and photographer Kelsey-Lynn Corradetti decodes the method of contemporary figure painting in ‘Constructing a Painting’. She simultaneously paints on canvas and a live model starting with a blank canvas and eventually reaching abstraction. This photographic study is a representation of how painting is approached today - demonstrated using modern technologies along with traditional techniques. The result is a step-bystep study of the beauty and complexity of contemporary painting.

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Blank Canvas Prepping the canvas and body in white gesso, the first step in preparing a canvas for painting.

Block-out Once a subject or image is chosen, the artist blocks out the main structure of the painting in base colors. In figure painting the skin tones, or undertones, are laid down to define space, proportion and balance. This is called the underpainting, which sets the foudations for additional layers of paint.


Blending & Accessory As the subject begins to take shape, planes of color are added and blended to create a more accurate representation of the body. The artist chooses which elements to develop or leave untouched. This determines how the subject is read. Elements of accessory play a role - adding clothing, jewelry and/or props will relay the artist’s intent.

Setting Similar to accessory, settinging plays a vital role in communicating the artist’s intended message. The subjects enviornment will create an additional narrative. The use of projection in contemporary painting has altered traditional practices but often considered taboo. However, photography and projection has enabled artists to apply any image, setting or subject to their canvas to aid in the development of their Light & Shadow practice. Three dimensional representation is achieved here by adding light and shadow over the blocked out underpainting. This step examines the extremities of tone to further develop a sense of space - foreground and background.

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Blending & Accessory As the subject begins to take shape, planes of colour are added and blended to create a more accurate representation of the body. The artist chooses which elements to develop or leave untouched. The determines how the subject is read. Elements of accessory play a role adding clothing, jewelry and/or props will relay the artist’s intent.

Setting Similar to accessory, setting plays a vital role in communicating the artist’s intended message. The aubjects environment will create an additional narrative. The use of projection in contemporary painting has altered traditional practices, but is often considered taboo. However, photography and projection has enabled artists to apply any image, setting or subject to their canvas to aid in the development of their practice.


Abstraction. Abstraction can be defined simply as line, colour and form. The subject is altered in this way affecting the viewer’s interpretation while maintaining its status as the central structure. Abstraction can be subtle or extreme, depending on the intended artistic message. Each stroke can have its own meaning but not all abstractions are meant to be understood.

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Yeezy Taught Me

In the beginning I was going to write about style, mostly my style because I am nothing if not a consummate narcissist. I was going to go on a self-righteous tirade about how my father told me red lipstick makes me look like the Joker, or the ex who would tell me to wear something “less-fashion-y” to the bar. They just don’t get it. I was going to whine, but then two things happened. First I came across an article on men’s style in a Queen’s publication that suggested that guys looking to take sartorial risks could wear brown shoes. Then, in discussing the same article with a friend he told me that until a few years ago, he never could have imagined wearing a cardigan. Seriously? Cardigans and brown shoes hardly reinvent the fashion wheel- maybe, just maybe, when it comes to personal style, guys do have it worse. Look out on the sea of plaid at Ale next Friday and tell me that I’m wrong, that in men’s style, conformity is not the norm. Perhaps the root of the problem is the wealth of publications available to pre- teen girls to usher them through the awkwardness of middle school until they graduate to the real thing. For boys, there is no teen equivalent. Many men’s fashion magazines are not widely available and it seems like more guys read GQ for Kate Upton’s cleavage and Beyoncé’s thigh-gap. Even at the upper echelons of fashion there seems to be an effort to brings men’s fashion to more prominence. In addition to the famed Pitti Uomo shows in Florence, this year saw the inauguration of London’s own menswear presentations. The male celebrities who are pushing the sartorial envelope are the typically über-masculine rappers, and they are jumping right into the deep end of cutting edge fashion. Kanye West made waves when he performed at several stops on his Watch the Throne tour in a leather skirt, A$AP Rocky showed up at 106 and Park in a dress and rocked a similar look in his video for “Fuckin’ Problem” and both faced criticism for their choices. Fashion and music seem to be enjoying a thriving symbiotic relationship, from Rocky repeatedly shouting out to Raf Simons on his debut album to finding something that rhymes with “Demuelemeester”. Luckily, neither star is showing any signs of slowing down. The bottom line is that it takes serious balls to pull off looks like this, and confidence is more conducive to swag than conformity.

an article by CLAIRE PIERCE

On the home front there does seem to be hope. Designers like Jeremy Scott, Damir Doma and Rick Owens are making bigger and bigger waves that hopefully will trickle down into more affordable stores without watering down the style. Even on campus there are a few brave souls who dare to stand out from the crowd, and you notice them. It can be hard out there for trendsetters but the plus side to having haters is that people notice you.

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Disclaimer: This article was written by a girl who owns blue, jewelencrusted gloves, a floral garland headband, huge librarian glasses, and is not afraid to wear them. In addition, said girl has her eye on two faux fur jackets: one all blue fur and the other red fur, in spite of already owning two fur vests, one in black and one in camel, because honestly one cannot ever own enough fur. Be bold, be beautiful, be you. Sorry if that comes off sounding like a Clean and Clear commercial. As cliché as it may be, it is the truth. When it comes to fashion you have to be yourself; fashion is a form of personal expression as well as a way of giving others a tiny glimpse of your true personality. When it comes to my personal sense of style, the simplest way I can describe it is that I like to wear pieces where passersby give me a looks and a glare that says “WTF?!! That girl is so totally dark”. I know that may sound strange to want to procure this type of reaction from people, but when I do; I know that I’ve invoked a reaction from someone based on an outfit that is truly unique. People are always so caught up in conforming that they’ve forgotten the true meaning of fashion.


The greatest fashion advice I could ever give someone is to not be afraid to be different and stand out from the crowd. You shouldn’t care what other people think, because you should be dressing for you. At this point, you may be reading this and thinking “kay this girl is crazy”, but I promise I’m not. If your goal is to be a trendsetter and stand out from the crowd, then don’t let those dressed in UGGs and Hunter boots dictate the next trend; be the one who started it. We are all victims of someone else’s fashion opinions, so accept it and do your own thing. Don’t fear judgment. Wear what you want and own it. Even if it really is “the ugliest effing skirt you have ever seen”, just werk.. So next time you see a totally cute leopard print, oversized, thrifty nylon jacket, get it. If it’s you, then you’ll figure out a way to own it. Screw that friend who always tells you “that jacket is so ugly”, and just do it, because if I had to abide by other people’s fashion opinions, I’d rather walk around naked.

The Hair Enigma

an article by VERONICA SEROLI

You can’t always get what you want. You always want what you can’t have. Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone? They paved paradise and put up a hair salon. Apart from being snippets from the Rolling Stones and Joni Mitchell songs, these lyrics represent the strained relationship between a girl and her hair. Let’s just admit it, in the name of vanity, that there is an intangible quality that separates the mere mortals from the enigmatic goddesses, those weak under the weight of the blow-dryer, and those with strands strong enough to withstand the heat. Curly or straight, long or short, dark or light, you know it when you see it. It’s just hair though, right?

a good hair day and a bad one is prodigious, especially since it greatly impacts how you view yourself. A hairstyle also acts as an identifier or clue to your personality and indicates cultural associations and shifts, illustrated by bobbed cuts in the roaring-twenties or long locks of the hippie movement. On an aesthetic note, there is an unnamable quality to an overall appearance when hair is tousled nonchalantly and looks effortlessly perfect. Luckily, in this age of overexposure we are more aware that the illusion of sleek, glossy, shiny hair is just that; an illusion, something few people actually possess while more people than not, actually possess straighteners, blow-dryers, serums and a whole beauty arsenal of tools.

Yes, it is just hair, and yes, it will grow back, so why does the thought of doing something drastic strike fear upon one’s core or a bad trip to the hairdresser result in tears? We have all been in that situation once in our lives and eventually, got over it; every cloud has a silver lining, even if you can’t see it… because that cloud probably indicates rain, so your hair has started to frizz. This is a liberating idea and one we all have; we feel free to play around with our hair and we’re comfortable during the days when a hairstyle looks less than perfect.

When thinking about hair, a scene from Anton Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya comes to mind in which homely Sonya says to beautiful, Yelena, “I’m not pretty!” Yelena replies “You have beautiful hair” and Sonya says “No! That’s what they always say to ugly people – you have beautiful hair, beautiful eyes.” What lessons should we take from this unsettling exchange? That saying someone has lovely hair is the new backhanded compliment? Or maybe that you should focus your attention elsewhere, such as towards accumulating knowledge or cultivating good conversation? Is there value in defining ourselves by our appearance?

But then again, no, hair is not just hair. No matter how trivial it is to worry about one’s hair, the difference between how you feel on

To be honest, I don’t know, but it will be something to ruminate over the next time I’m sitting in the hairdresser’s chair.

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Dressing For Spring When You Hate Flowers an article by FAYE WU


I.Gem Metallica Out of the three hand-picked trends this season, this is the easiest for the transition from your winter wardrobe to spring. This trend is inspired by the Burberry S/S 2013 collection which showed how rainwear can be stylish in shades of magenta, emerald and azure; especially the transparent capes that you can just toss over your shoulders and sashay off to coffee with a friend. Feeling frugal? No problem, terranewyork.com makes the similar candy coloured capes for a fraction of the price. The ‘Nolita’ is especially noteworthy.

Nolita in Chocolate terranewyork.com

II.Eccentric Heels/Wedges If you missed out on Alexander McQueen’s Armadillo heel mania a few seasons ago, you’ll be glad Jean Paul Gautier is bringing unique heels back. Thanks to stores like Aldo, college fashionistas can grow their shoe collection without breaking the bank. This trend works because it catches people’s attention subtly with interesting geometrics and brings to mind abstract art that never goes out of style. Cool styles with cool prices include ‘Olmos’, ‘Adriance’, ‘Desree’, ‘Michigan’. I’m personally obsessed with the ‘Benett’ in Bone. Bennett

Adriance Michigan

III.Rock n’ Roll Minimalism Perhaps the most prominent Spring 2013 trend and my favourite highlight, was mass minimalism with a dark twist that appeared on the runways of Marc Jacobs, Jil Sander, Alexander Wang, and Narciso Rodriguez. The boyfriend T-shirts juxtaposed sharply with the masculine-feminine tuxedo tailcoats that were shrugged delicately over the shoulder of models (think Givenchy!). There was also high contrast between black, white and a pop of neon colour, which appeared in many outfits. Lastly, for those who crave a restrained yet powerful way of walking into a room, layer a pristine white blazer over a sheer fabric and tote a lace doctor’s bag for a spot-on look.

Jill Sanders

Alexander Wang



FITZGERALD WEARS PRADA Once in a while, a film comes around that is just…magic. It possesses the ability to take over my life entirely. The first, and most influential in this line of inspirational gems was Baz Luhrmann’s modern take on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Like many 90’s babies, I had a bit of a thing for Leonardo DiCaprio. Screw Claire Danes, young Montague was my main man. This obsession has never left me, so naturally, I am thrilled upon hearing DiCaprio is teaming up with Luhrmann again, this time cast as the titular character in the upcoming film adaptation of The Great Gatsby. However, what has taken my excitement level from enthusiastic to obsession is, undoubtedly, the knowledge of their being exquisite and inspiring costume design. To put it quite simply, The Devil Wears Prada meets only the most intellectual place; East Egg. Iconic fashion designer Miuccia Prada, responsible for the globally celebrated brands Prada and Miu Miu teamed up with costume designer Catherine Martin to create forty costumes for Gatsby. The characters of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s world will be outfitted in the most luxurious fabrics and ornaments – ranging from velvet to crystal, fringe to sequins, emerald to gold and so on. The events of the film are told from the perspective of narrator Nick Carraway, a Midwesterner and outsider to the mythical and

glamorous world of East Egg. Miuccia’s intention was to use costume to reinforce this perspective. She wants the viewer to be Nick Carraway, to see things from his perspective as an outsider looking in. As a result, the garments featured in the movie will be familiar with a modern influence, yet will also evoke the wealth and glamour of the past, brilliantly enhancing the idea that this is a world for the elite, an exclusive sphere of luxury that only those of utmost power and influence have access to. Fashion of the 1920’s is beloved by many and the release of Gatsby serves as the perfect excuse to channel your inner Daisy Buchanan – everyone’s favourite Fitzgerald It Girl. When it comes to the palette, the Gatsby look is all about pastels – dusty rose, mint green, lemon and baby blue. A modern take on this trend places emphasis on intricate details like sequins and beading. This applies to accessories too, with 20’s-inspired flapper headbands being a personal favourite of mine. Drool over headbands. Whether your style whispers daytime elegance or screams life of the party, there’s a bit of 1920’s influence for everyone. One of my favourite Gatsby moments is when Nick Carraway wisely warns, “you can’t repeat the past”. I think this an important lesson to be learned; however, from a fashion perspective, I’m going to have to agree with Gatsby, who simply replies, “Why of course you can”.

an article by ASHLEY LARAMIE

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Glasses are just as important an accessory as a purse, a statement necklace, or an arm party. They are most likely the first thing people see when they first meet you, and can be the last thing they remember you by. I have worn glasses since I was about ten years old. Later in life I decided to switch to contacts to let others experience the wonders of my face — which at that point in my life included a unibrow, much in resemblance to Frida Kahlo, and a mouth full of metal; but it was not until after five years of solely wearing contacts did I decide I wanted to give glasses another try. When picking out my glasses, I went in knowing exactly what I wanted: huge, overbearing glasses that were far too big for my face. The conversation around choosing the pair that I currently own, went a little something like this: My sassy 14-year-old sister: ‘OMG! You look…so…ugly. I can’t let you buy those.’


My Dad: ‘You kind of look like a librarian..’ And in that moment I knew I had found the perfect pair; massively oversized, circular lenses with tortoise frames, I looked something like an elderly librarian wearing glasses designed for men. A dream come true. Glasses have been around for a while, but almost out of nowhere have become the newest, chicest accessory in town. Warby Parker, EyeGoodies, Urban Spectacles, and Eye Bobs, have become only a few of amongst many brands of eyewear that have become the mecca of eccentric, “hipster” glasses, moving past the iconic geeky vibe to become the hippest new fashion statement. We are now in an era that has moved from wearing frames that were once meant to deflect attention, to frames that are a “look at me” staple. Grab those glasses, Queen’s, it’s time to do ‘hipster’ right.


MUSE Magazine & Queen’s Varsity Athletics photography by KATIE MICHIELS creative direction by ANGELICA SIEGEL

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Football: (L to R) Sam Sabourin, Andrew Lue, Billy McPhee, Matt Webster, Giovanni Aprile, Ryan Granberg Fencing: Ashley Brock & Karl Gardner Volleyball: (L to R) back row: Katie Spadoni, Alex Heine, Shannon Neville, Melissa Perrier, Emilie Normand, Katie Hagarty, front row: Shannon Walsh, Katie Neville

Rugby: (L to R) Matt Kelly, Myles Dingwall, Doug Davidson, George Gleeson

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Figure Skating: Charlotte MacDonald, Renee Tse

Basketball: (L to R) Hanna Koposhynska, Mackenzie Simpson, Laura Baker, Ryan Golden, Robyn Pearson, Jamie Asefa, Emily Hazlett Cheerleading: (L to R) Jaclyn Kirk, Leslie Bothwell, Katie Farrand Special thanks to Shannon Walsh and the ARC for helping us organize this editorial!


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MUSE x Queen’s Study Music

Domenico DiCarlo // Econ ‘13 1901 // Phoenix

Adam Boone // Math ‘13 Saltwater // Mt. Eden


Jesse Cranin // Health ‘13 Gymnopedie No. 3 // Erik Satie

Alex Mansourati // Math ‘13 Kaputt // Destroyer

Emily Wong // Geo ‘15 Shake It Out // Florence & the Machine

Emily Kingdom // Commerce ‘13 The Intro // The XX

Isabelle Siciliano // Drama ‘13 Perth // Bon Iver

Lauren Lott // Econ ‘13 Don’t You Worry Child // Swedish House Mafia

Augusta Choy // Devs ‘14 Put Your Records On // Corinne Bailey Rae

Marysia Jekielek // Life Sci ‘14 Thriftshop // Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Kyle Schmalenberg // Kin ‘13 8th Sonata // Beethoven

Colin Robinson // Env Science ‘13 Hold on Magnolia // Songs: Ohia

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The Short End of the


an article by DEREK OSBOURNE


For people across Canada, the autumn of 2012 was a time of both that a hockey franchise continually faces. The owners’ desire to disillusionment and disappointment. For the third time in twenty establish a fixed length for all contracts, as well as a uniform payyears, the owners of the National Hockey League had failed to ment plan for their players was, in the union’s eyes, just another negotiate a new collective bargaining agreement, forcing a player attempt by management to limit a player’s possible earnings in an lockout and the looming prospect of another cancelled season. otherwise open and unregulated market. As the weeks passed and ensuing negotiations between the opposing parties continued to prove unfruitful, hockey fans across For many fans, the primary villain in the struggle was NHL commisNorth America began to react towards the lockout with a curi- sioner Gary Bettman. Now in his twentieth year, Bettman’s tenure ous mixture of indignation and humorous resignation. As million- has largely been a disappointment. Besides three lockouts, Betaires fought billionaires for tman oversaw the expansion of the league southa slightly larger piece of the ward with franchises appearing in Dallas, Nashville, 3.4 billion(!) the NHL makes “Although these long-term Atlanta, and Carolina, moves that have been conannually, fans across the sidered both financially risky, as well as a cause of a world either slowly tuned out contracts offer security dilution of talent across the league. Not surprisingly, or kept an almost religious to the players, they esBettman is regularly booed at events such as the observance of the status of sentially hamstring the All-Star Game and while awarding the Stanley Cup. the talks between the playability of owners to tailor But although he has regularly drawn the ire of fans, ers’ union and the owners. Bettman’s actions do have some merit. For one, their organizations to the he’s allowed the league to expand from its tradiLike most labour conflicts, changing economic and comtional base in the northeast across the continent. the root of the NHL lockout petitive challenges that a His southern push, while completely baffling from was a disagreement about a climatic standpoint, has allowed hockey to enter hockey franchise continumoney. Specific qualms ininto previously unthinkable markets and helped the cluded the proposed length ally faces.” NHL maintain its legitimacy as the premier showof contracts, as well as the case of hockey talent in the world. particular timeline for payment of the salaries promised in such contracts, which had be- With a new collective bargaining agreement being finalized become a major sticking point for the owners in recent years. The tween the league and the NHLPA on January 6th, hockey finally decade-plus contracts of stars such as Ilya Kovalchuk, Ryan regained its primacy in the pantheon of Canadian sport. Though Suter, and Zach Parise (which all included front-loaded payment regrettably faced with a shortened 48-game season, fans of the plans) had become quite a thorn in the respective owners’ sides. National Hockey League were nonetheless thrilled for the return Although these long-term contracts offer security to the players, of their favorite game, and cautiously hopeful that another lockout they essentially hamstring the ability of owners to tailor their orga- can be avoided in the next few years to come. nizations to the changing economic and competitive challenges

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an ANONYMOUS article “Forgive me, Barber, my hair has thinned. It has been 3 months since my last haircut… And I’m afraid I did the last one myself.” Settling into my sacramental throne, I do my best to look remorseful. How appropriate it is, that I am forced turn my back on my Shavior before I’m able to sit down comfortably. A thousand apologies, Barber! Much like the wandering sheep, I was lost… but now am found. Rejoice! -for this sheep needs shearing! Looking as solemn as a SuperCuts employee could possibly look on a Tuesday afternoon, (you’d be surprised actually) my Barber gives a polite nod of understanding and proceeds to adorn me in his vestments. I watch as my Barber reaches his hand forward, towards the top of my reflection’s head. There is the smallest mark of yellow upon his forefinger. No… could it be? Am I to be anointed? But alas, it is only mustard. My Barber spots it too, and goes to wash up. Just coming back from lunch, my Barber must be. It is not long before my Barber returns with


his hands cleansed. How I wish I could say the same! I must admit, I was a fool in thinking I could reach epidermal salvation on my own. But how good it feels to be back! With an arm on my shoulder and His clippers beside my ear, my Barber asks gently: “How may I shave you, my son?” “Size 4, please Barber,” I manage to stammer. “Oh, and number 3 on the sides and back.”

under control. After some hesitation, He sees that I am being sincere and turns His mighty clippers back on.

My Barber asks that I point my chin downward, so that my Shaving may finally begin. Though I know the request is not normally tied to a sign of respect, it is with the utmost grace that I bow my head, so as to impart my unyielding deference.

“PLEASE, BARBER, FORGIVE ME MY SPINS!!!” I cry out in my moment of weakness.

Mere moments after I raise my undeserving chin, I sense myself beginning to tremble. At first my Barber doesn’t seem to notice, but He is quick to raise an eyebrow once my shaking grows worse. After my chair begins to swivel, however, my Shavior (in his divine prudence) decides to take a step back. Needless to say, I am terribly embarrassed. I apologize profusely and promise my Barber that I have my nerves

As my Barber starts to lean back in, however, I can feel my jitters returning. I try to distract myself, to think of something else, but it is of no use. Without warning, my feet push off the ground with a terrible force, causing my chair to whirl around with an incredible velocity.

-“Fuck you, kid.” the man behind me (/to the left of me/right of me/now he’s behind me again) mutters, putting his clippers down. “I don’t need this shit. I’m going on my break.” Two nearby stylists exchange a look before glancing back in my direction, where I sit, still spinning. The less dashing of the two walks over and finishes me up without saying a word. I get up, tell her to “bump it” and leave without paying. It was a good day.

Heaven’s Ascent an article by JORDAN INGOLA

His teeth were brushed; his face was shaved and smooth. As he sat, quietly sipping his coffee, the man began to map out the smaller parts of his day, such as whether or not he would end up going to Starbucks for lunch. His house was small but charming, and displayed a fine collection of crucifixes plastered over each of the doorways. His bookshelf contained six Good News Bibles, while his nightstand held two more (this time the King James Edition). On the wall above his television hung his certificate of ordination as a minister— proudly framed. Upon glimpsing the bottom of his mug, he stood up, pushed in his chair, rinsed the mug, dried it, opened the cookie jar, pulled out his pre-assembled joint, pulled out a lighter, and began to smoke. Afterwards, he dipped the tip of the joint in basin. It sizzled as he smothered it. He then tossed the roach into an empty RedBull can from the night before. Before leaving, he carefully placed his white stole around his neck, and sprayed a few whiffs of Febreeze around the room, for good measure.

ton: “Hi Father Campbell, just reminding you of your appointment with Dr. Leighton tomorrow morning at-- BEEP!”. He had cut off the machine; Father Campbell was well aware of his appointment. His hand reached up to scratch his head, now completely bald. He was not looking forward to another round, but knew that rescheduling for a third time would be crass. He sunk into his recliner and turned on the television, still donning his formal attire. He then popped three Advil (Extra Strength), and washed them down with a half-can of RedBull. He thought about reaching for a Bible, but was too fixated on the colours radiating from the television. Hours passed, until he was forced to run to the kitchen and regurgitate a special blend of coffee and energy drink.

his finger over the indented lettering, but abruptly placed it on the table beside him, as though having changed his mind. He returned to the television, with his pupils unmoving, and smaller than before. After some time, he grabbed the Bible once again. As he opened it, the sweet smell of ganja infiltrated his nostrils. He looked down at the book’s hollowed-out pages and withdrew one of the thicker joints. He removed his stole and dropped it onto the floor in front of him. He would not make tomorrow’s appointment either.

Taking advantage of his newfound mobility, he grabbed one of the Bibles from his bookshelf. Upon sitting down, he kissed the front of the book, traced the tip of

*** He didn’t return until very late that afternoon, just as high as when he had left. His eyes, blood red, landed on the blinking light from his answering machine as he idled, trying to focus. He put down what was left of his coffee and pressed the but-

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How understanding another perspective can change a reality.



“Being an officer runs in the family, a measure of worth and pride,” His father always kept saying, Until the day that he died. So what was a kid to do? He didn’t have any other skills; Couldn’t to do math, science or nuthin’ But, boy, could he run those drills. So the academy gave him honours, And Dad finally gave him praise. Station assigned him to the hood an “ambitious rookie” cliché. But as it goes, the excitement wore thin, His badge no longer gold. The drugs and dregs and dirty kids Had stoned him, hard and cold. --Another routine convenience robbery, Another shopkeeper with a broken jaw The assailant ran off with food and drugs, A lowlife, below the law Chased on foot for a few blocks, Outside a slum house, he was finally caught Arrested in front of scummy friends “Should teach them a lesson,” he jadedly thought. Got a year or two, or maybe more Not that the cop had really cared, Court day, he’d just wanted to go home to the dinner his wife had prepared. --Yet often he felt guilty About the type of cop he’d become, It was long ago he’d dreamed Of heroic battles, rightly won. But wasn’t he was making a difference keeping troublemakers off of the street? But then they’d always be replaced And he’d always face defeat. So what else could he do, but carry on with a stoic stride, Holding a ready gun, pessimistically loaded with bullets of fatherly pride.

To start up a new business, In a country, newly yours, Can be as scary to a grown man As fleeing his country of wars. Slightly vulnerable, but determined To live a life of dreams, He set up shop and smiled a long-awaited patriotic beam. The hours were long, the work was hard, The neighbourhood-- less than ideal, And he grew ever-more suspicious, after many unpleasant ordeals. So although he remained a friendly face, At the community grocery store, After one last string of robberies, “This has got to stop”, the shopkeeper swore. --The man came in, in a flurry, He seemed rushed and out of sorts, “They are usually sort of nervous”, he thought. And prepared himself for the worst. The man wandered the aisles holding food and cough medication… “You better be paying for that”, he warned, ready to control the situation The man first looked surprised, then offended and angry And finally shot back, “Fuck you, you jerk”. Tensions rose to a struggle, and then Blood was running down his shirt. --The hospital wired his jaw shut, Pain stretched from ear to ear Cops said that the guy had been caught, “Should go away for a couple of years.” What made his sentence longer, they said Was “not the theft but the aggravated assault”, The shopkeeper couldn’t help but feel guilty, The fighting was partly his fault. “And where do I draw the line between trusting and pointing blame? Some conditions force people to steal for their survival, would I not do the same…?”




It’s been twenty-three long years on this side of the iron bars. Clanging gates, surprise inspections, Stopping scraps out in the yard. His leg still gave him problems, Especially when it was warm. A reminder of when he was prisoner No one is free when fighting war. His wife, she made him breakfast Every morning, toast, like clockwork. The routine felt familiar and friendly, He’d start his day off with a perk. Twenty-three years had gone on like this, “Damn slowly”, he thought with a sigh Life’s tedious when in one world, you’re good And in the other, you’re the bad guy. --Usually new inmates come in, none much different from the rest, Burly looks and bigger talk, As if there’s someone to impress. But this one man came in sullenly, He seemed to have other things on his mind He had already been let down greatly by a world, so very unkind. The man asked a lot of questions, And quickly got with the “in” crowd, Couldn’t tell if he was good or bad, But benefit of the doubt was not allowed. “This one’s trouble”, the guard had decided, and from there, cut the man no slack; always denied him the daily paper, never snuck him an extra snack. --The system doesn’t do the things it must do, in order for change – instead of teaching them to grow, Inmates leave worse than when they came. So the guard, he keeps on guardin’, barking “no” and locking locks to their cells and to their futures, And with a limp, away he walks. Prison surely changes a man, Even when he’s not locked away Even when he’s free to leave, He goes home more broken, everyday.

His life had not been easy, had felt no love or structure, was not given the time or lessons to become a man of character. Left with a child at twenty-one, he was forced to grow up good. It was the first time his life had any purpose, so he did the best he could. His son had become his best friend, Though he was only eight years old, But the damp impending winter Gave the boy a nasty cough and cold. Unable to stand his son, Feeling so sad and sick, The man left to go get treats To cheer up and cure his kid. --Even with no money, he hadn’t intended to steal, He was going to count his pennies And maybe barter a deal? But the cashier was full of prejudice Assumed the worst, and fought And now he’s stuck in prison because he’d been chased and caught, Because he was in old clothes that night, shoes with holes and a dirty collar. Becuase he didn’t look the part, and didn’t give to society in dollars. It didn’t matter that he volunteered And worked part-time construction, Or that he’d raised a kid alone, In a hood rich with only destruction. --None of this mattered to the court, All they saw was poor and violent, All they saw was what they wanted to see And claimed “GUILTY” based on judgements. Based on the cop who didn’t care, The store-owner who didn’t know him The guards who don’t give a shit about him or his son, now stuck in the system. But they’ll all sleep well tonight, Knowing that they’re righteous citizens Fulfilling all their “civil duties” While the class divide only deepens. And how will his kid be raised? In an adult world, impartial, to the goings on of a little boy, who had so much potential?

MUSE | 57

The Truth About New Year’s


When badgered about our New Year’s resolutions, most of us mention a vague promise to “exercise more and eat healthier.” But what exactly is it about January 1st that tricks us into thinking that we will start to live healthier? Subscribing to the notion that the only necessary impetus for altering our mindsets about eating and exercising is a calendar date is highly irrational. If you hadn’t already guessed, I am not a big believer in New Year’s resolutions. If we truly want to be healthier, why defer that change to a later date? While the beginning of a New Year may bring a renewed sense of hope and inspiration, let’s get real: achieving good health is a long-term commitment. So if you are serious about getting more active and improving your eating habits, here are some useful suggestions to get you started. Queen’s offers a myriad of ways for students to improve their cardiovascular health. Not only are our gym facilities of the highest caliber, every Queen’s student automatically has a ‘free’ membership (that is, unless you opt-out) during the Fall and Winter terms. This means there is

no reason not to go to the gym. In addition, Queen’s offers Fitness Plus which is a great option for students who are interested in taking group classes, which range from sculpt and tone, Zumba and spinning classes to turbo kick (among others). As a spinning instructor, I find the group classes to be much more motivational and engaging than doing a standard 30-minute workout on the elliptical. Fitness Plus offers at least two free classes a day for all ARC members, so just grab a friend sometime and try a class… after all you’ve got nothing to lose (except maybe some weight). Queen’s also offers an amazing assortment of intramural programs with such sports being offered as: basketball, soccer, ultimate frisbee, and water polo (to name just a few). Next semester, make it your goal to recruit a team, meet some new people, and get involved with Queen’s intramurals. If you want to focus on eating more nutritious foods, the ARC grocery store is a great place to shop. Being a horrible cook myself, I asked my friend Laura Cooley for advice on healthy lunch/dinner options. Laura is always trying out new vegetarian

an article by JENNIFER SHAMIE


dishes and uploading pictures to Instagram- instantly making the rest of us jealous. She decided to share her easy “Tofu and Veggie Quinoa Salad” recipe with us below (all ingredients are available for purchase at the ARC grocery store, by the way):

Tofu and Veggie Quinoa Salad
 -1 cup quinoa
 -1/2 to 1 package firm tofu
 -100g light feta 
 -1 red pepper
 -8 white mushrooms
 -2 large carrots
 -1/2 cucumber
 -1 container cherry tomatoes 
 -3 tbsp. olive oil
 -1 lemon
-1 tbsp. minced garlic (2 cloves)

Next January, don’t fall victim to making ambitious New Year’s resolutions that are quickly forgotten. If you really want to change something in your life, don’t wait until tomorrow or the day after. Start right now.

ALL ALMI Ghty HTY AlHAI Hai l LTHE the l Al mig



an article by MATT TURANO

First and foremost, I’d like to say thanks for taking this time to re-engage with the printed word. It’s been a while! How are ya?! Okay, okay, I get it. You don’t seem to have much time to yourself anymore, so I should probably skip the formalities. Don’t worry, you can get back to worshipping your Screen Gods in a minute. Promise. Remember the days when owning a Smartphone was considered “cutting-edge”? I do. Those days aren’t all that far behind us, really. Flash-forward to the present. I’ll bet you that half the people around you right now are “plugged in”, one way or another. These days, people seem to be all-but-entranced by their flashy gadgets.

Not that I am advocating against the use of such devices. Not at all. I mean, sure, I could draw up a couple dozen pails of Kingston well-water for a nice cold bath (here, nice is a relative term), but I’d much rather take a goddamn shower, thank you very much. The way I see it, our generation’s love affair with technology is far from over. I wouldn’t be too quick to label this relationship of ours as either a good or a bad thing, either. Technology simply is; any valuation we try to make of it is almost certainly a waste of time. Though the old ways might indeed be best, we’re not exactly about to go back to them. Fifty years ago, Marshall McLuhan saw technology not as something to be morally appraised, but rather as “an extension of ourselves”. Put into the right hands, astounding feats can be accomplished with the use of even a lowly iPhone 3 (someone in Palo

Alto just fainted). But, of course, the reality of our technological habits is all-too-often the opposite. Not too long ago, I came across an article in the Queen’s Journal entitled ‘Facebook Fail’, which mocked the website’s tagline, saying: “[I]f openness and connectivity can be achieved through the mindless act of cyberstalking ex-boyfriends or harvesting virtual crops on a non-existent farm, then congratulations Facebook, you have accomplished your mission.” Hold on. No one’s making you ‘cyberstalk’ anyone. Facebook, like any other piece of technology, is nothing more than what you make of it. Here’s what could be a great tool, and you’re berating it because of the way that YOU are using it. You wouldn’t, for instance, use a shovel to mow the lawn and then go blame your shitty lawn-mowing experience on the shovel, now would you? Of course not. That would be absurd! “With grate power comes grate responsibility,” my Uncle Ben used to say. Most of the time he was talking to the people repairing the sewage drains on my street, but I think it applies here, too. Sort of. In any case, you should probably think twice about how you use your Smartphone/Computer/RobotSlave. If you’re going to waste your time, at least waste it deliberately. God’s speed, and good luck.

MUSE | 59


58 | MUSE

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MUSE Magazine Issue 6  

MUSE Magazine Issue 6