Mum's The Word Magazine - Unique

UUnique

May 24

I’M

FREE and easy ! to shar e!

Confused as hell about parenting?

Come join the revolution of honest parenting!

Kids

Kitchen

Make super tasty meatballs and a banana split buffet!

Mindful Mandala

Summer Solstice colouring to reconnect with nature

From one frazzled parent to another...

We’re all in this together!

PUZZLING TIMES Summer Sudoku, Find the Twin and a fab fun wordsearch!

Mums The Word Magazine

Every child has the right to think that they can change the world

ARE CHILDREN AND FAMILIES YOUR CALLING? DO YOU HAVE A HUGE HEART-BASED MISSION? DOES IT KEEP YOU WIDE AWAKE AT NIGHT? We are excited to invite a small selection of businesses ‘on the same page’ as us to advertise their magic to the families we're passionate about helping.

Find out more here if you want to help the next generation thrive too!

CONTENTS PARENTING | FUN | SHARING THE INSANITY

05 THE MAD EDITOR'S NOTE

Nik shares her about turn and the change of tone you might notice in this edition and going forward!

06 THE NEW WAVE OF ‘NO!’ KIDS

Kids are bolder than ever before and also struggling more than ever too. Either way - they’re rejecting the status quo.

08 FINDING YOUR GENIUS

Being boldly yourself is part of your Genius journey and Jessica is here to help you navigate that exciting path as a family.

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KIDS KITCHEN - A FAB BANANA BUFFET PERFECT FOR AFTER CLUBS OR SCHOOL

12 NEWSFLASH FROM THE PDA SPACE...

YOU’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE YOUR UNIQUE NEEDS AS WELL AS THEM ACTUALLY BEING MET! 16 PUZZLES GALORE

FOUR pages of puzzle fun for the big and little kids among us, including a summer solstice mandala for some extra focus and off time

14 ONE SIZE DOESN’T FIT ALL

How can we embrace what’s unique about ourselves if we keep measuring everyone via typical and standardised expectations?

20 REPARENTING OURSELVES

Some Inner Child pointers for those of us seeing the gaps in our upbringings and refusing to repeat those cycles.

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TASTY AIR-FRYER MEATBALLS

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TEACHING RESOURCES

MUMSTHEWORDMAG MUM’S THE WORD MAGAZINE COMMUNITY

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A FEW WORDS FROM...

THE MAD EDITOR Oh no - she’s been thinking again!

The Mad One‘s cogs have been getting the better of her - what’s she been up to this time??

Well hello my goorjuss frazzled ones! Happy May/June/ December - well it’ll be here in a flash won’t it!

As ever, I’ve been a busy little bunny again - and using the word ‘again’ is apt. Because the truth is, I created this magazine - twice.

Me having ADHD means I’m GREAT at the last minute, but godawful before then. I adore this magazine so it didn’t make sense that I wasn’t excited about the writing like I usually am.

I had confused this with my ADHD procrastination. What it actually was, was a big fat no from my body and brain on creating articles that weren’t me - not even a bit like me because without realising, I’d gone into ‘should’ mode.

I had lovingly created most of the magazine but it felt ‘safe’ as hell.

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And if you know me, you’ll know I believe in honesty and integrity, which definitely aren’t the safe options in such a noisy world.

So the mag is a little later than planned because I razed the lot to the ground to make way for the fiery phoenix that I want to entice out of you guys as well as me!

We know the phrase that well-behaved women seldom make history and it’s true.

Replicating the good girl and nice guy isn’t going to inspire honesty in our children. Just more ‘blind conformity’ and that’s not our mantra is it daahlings!.

So - you won’t need to be a detective to notice there’s a different tone now. The writer’s block buggered off, I’ve stepped fully into being here for the cycle breakers and misfits muddling along and I hope you love MTW as much as I do!

WHAT IS MUM'S THE WORD? This isn’t just a magazine (that made me think of Marks & Spencer’s adverts!) it’s a revolution. There are more and more parents struggling to meet the needs of their children and do you know why?

So where does that leave us as parents?

Besides lost? Society loves a divide so some of you may read this magazine and wonder what the heck I’m on about. Others will just get it instantly.

Because our own needs aren’t anywhere near being met either. Parenting is like the infamous painting of the Forth Bridge - you just feel like you’re getting somewhere with them and you have to start again - in this case instead of paint, it’s because our kids are ever changing.

I can’t please everyone but I’m not willing to play safely between the lines anymore as that serves nobody. This magazine and the MTW community are for those of you creating your own new family stories. It’s for the cycle breakers and boundary builders.

That’s natural and unavoidable as children are a collection of ‘phases’. But what is becoming more and more clear is that our children are changing - in a society that defintely isn’t.

It’s for those of us who are consciously and deliberately bridging the gap between us and our kids with curiousity instead of indoctrination. It’s taken me a while to give myself this permission - and here’s where we all pass that gift on to each other too.

xx 5

THERE’S A NEW WAVE OF KIDS COMING. ARE YOU READY?

W

hat?! Wait - what wave?? Ready? I don’t even know what day we’re on let alone anything about some new wave!

If you’re in my circles at all you might have seen I had a muchneeded epiphany this week. At my ripe old age of 51, I’ve FINALLY got the memo that I’m allowed to be me - and the real me definitely isn’t for everyone.

That’s fine - none of us are.

But this magazine which I absolutely adore, has been meddling with my head and heart “Parenting magazines have to be on their best behaviour” was the narrative coursing through me without me realising.

So it was messing with my writing, my beliefs, my ability to help on MY terms because what I REALLY want to help with is not letting a nation of water-treading parents sink.

We’re taught as youngsters we don’t air our dirty laundry, we don’t talk about money, sex, periods, bodily functions, politics, status etc. We’re all weighed down by not letting on that we’re struggling and that the facade we present must be church-worthy.

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Well fork that lot me darlins as there’s a wave of BOLD kids coming through that are returning that memo to sender unread. Many of us parents are pinballing between sheer pride that our feral offspring are waaay bolder than we ever were, but because we still have our own conditioning to contend with, we’re recoiling at the thought that our little hellbats might offend someone.

Well here’s the heads up - if you want your kids to keep the compliance up that’s annihilating our world - carry on with the ‘typical’ expectations. That path is going to come with a whole heap of turmoil and if you win the battle - I promise you your child won’t fare well mentally in the future.

If your passionate spawn is winning and you’re utterly clueless on what to do, you’re in far healthier territory.

Society has long needed an overhaul. Anyone with half a brain will be having conversations with friends about how broken everything is from hospitals and healthcare, to the cost of living to govt spending generally. And schools…

Yet the first time the broken-school brigade reprimand our adorable-refusers, our age-old conditioning kicks many parents into compliant mode.

Parenting has long needed the same reset that the nation does but the reality is there’s far too many cooks spoiling our parenting broth. We get constant feedback from others on what we’re doing differently and how we don’t do it like that dahling, but how many of these well-meaning ‘chefs’ understand our child’s unique needs? How many know their background, their joys? Their fears or their passions?

Not many because most of them have been taught not to care about that ‘under the bonnet’ wishy-washy stuff.

Y’know - the stuff that actually makes them tick and is their very essence. Well here’s the rather delightful news - the kids that are school refusing, less polite, struggling with anxiety and executive function are the ones who will get this system changed.

My heart genuinely breaks that families are struggling, but I won’t lie that the wise side of me that understands the human body isn’t silently smiling that these kids are saying an outright no to what’s on offer. They’re saying the system has to do better. And instead of listening to the media who are constantly labelling our kids and shaming the fact we have hundreds of thousands of school seats without bums on them, there are more and more parents having no choice but to listen to the much louder refusals of our children.

So whether you’re a parent home educating, fighting local authorities, unschooling or marching into school and backing your child being ‘that’ parent, I promise you, you’re not on your own as a kerfuddled as heck parent.

Rebellion doesn’t always wear war paint - this new wave of kids is owning the hell out of their right to say no. And as parents, we’ve got no option but to learn from them.

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Why Fit In When You Were Born

To Stand Out?

By Dr Jessica Morrod

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” Dr Suess. You might love or hate Dr. Suess, but if there’s even a little bit of you that wonders why it really matters, and what standing out can do for you, then join me, read on and let’s begin to tell a different story…

As I’ve got older, I have realised that I was hardwired right from the start to be different. To think differently, to behave differently and to believe that different things are possible. I have NEVER been afraid of standing out from the crowd and being different with one caveat:

Whoever I am, whatever I do, however I think and what I believe, has to be aligned with my deep, inner sense of self.

I like to think of it like an internal compass. If it swings too much one way or the other then I know I’m off course and even a small shift, if followed for long enough can land you deep in uncharted water - someone else's territory very quickly.

Ask a pilot and they will tell you that being just 3 degrees off course can make the difference between you landing in one country or another - or worse still, running out of fuel along the way and the same goes for us!

While I have always known I was born to stand out, my differences lie within. Look at a picture of me and you won’t see someone who looks really radically different.

See me on the street or at the school pick up, and apart from my shock of white hair and slightly brighter clothes, I’ll appear to blend in with the crowd. The difference in me shines brightly when you sit down and talk with me, hear stories of the life I’ve led and the choices I’ve made for myself and for my 5.5 year old son.

All my life I have worked with people to help them see the brilliance, the uniqueness, the Genius that lies within them… if only they have the lens to see it and the courage to use it.

When it comes right down to it, most of my clients fear what standing out will mean for them or their family.

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Yet they only get to be a client of mine if they want to at least explore how they and their families can live, work and learn differently to make their mark, to follow their path.

Humans are meaningmaking machines. However your brain is wired, that fact remains the same - we make meaning out of everything.

One of the biggest fears common to all humans is the fear of judgement, of “Will you be accepted if you show up as who you really are?” or if you make choices about education, diet or lifestyle that stray from the expected norms, will you have to ‘live in the margins’ and be judged for being uniquely and brilliantly you?

Well I don’t know about you, but the margins were always the most fun, colourful and creative places in all my notes at school and they are still full of doodles and ideas now!

Jess xx

Jess xx

Jess xx Jess xx

Whenever I feel a wobble coming on or notice I’m showing up as anything less than the fullest, most powerful version of myself, I remember that my son is watching and learning how to live, how to work and how to learn from me. Every. Single. Day. And so is every child you meet every day. If you struggle to know what you want for yourself, take a moment to answer what you want for them.

It is time you turned up the brightness on your Genius, your guiding light within and shine in whatever way you were born to shine! As Pulitzer Prize winner Mary Oliver said: “Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

You are worthy of being your brilliant, inspiring self by bringing what’s unique x about you to the world!

Jess xx

”

Kitchen Quickies

Air-Fryer Meatballs As the popularity of the air-fryer is on the up, it makes sense to include a tasty recipe for it!

Change any ingredients you wish such as the herbs, but the fact that this includes sausages, means you can choose yours or the kids’ favourite bangers for the base flavour!

INGREDIENTS

METHOD

4 good-quality sausages

Squeeze the sausagemeat out of the skins and into a bowl. Tip in the remaining ingredients, plus a good pinch of salt and a few cracks of black pepper into it if the whole family’s tastebuds would approve

500g beef mince ½ onion or 1 shallot, very finely chopped 50g parmesan, finely grated 50g fresh breadcrumbs handful parsley, finely chopped 1 egg, beaten

Prep Time: 20 Minutes Cooking Time: 12 Minutes Plus chilling time Makes 20-25 meatballs

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Mix everything well – this is easiest to do with your hands giving everything a good squeeze together. This part is important as combining the ingredients well stops the meatballs from falling apart during cooking.

Roll the mixture into 20-25 balls and transfer to a tray or plate. Chill for 20 mins (you as well as the meatballs!)

Heat the air-fryer to 180C and put the meatballs into the air-fryer basket. Cook for 10-12 mins until golden and cooked through.

You may need to do this in batches, or cook all of them and move them around halfway through cooking.

Serve with tomato sauce and pasta, or sandwiched in a yummy sub or burger.

Recipe from bbcgoodfood.com

Perfect for straight after school, nursery or clubs!

Kid’s

CHEF

Kitchen Banana Split Buffet Ingredients ripe bananas Banana Buffet Topping Ideas... fave yoghurt honey or fruit puree chopped fresh fruit dried fruit seeds chopped or sliced nuts berries shredded coconut sprinkles or choc drops as a final treat Little Chef’s Tip: If you want to sneak some extra protein in, heat some peanut butter in a pan or microwave and pour over once slightly cooled

Method Slice ripe bananas in half lengthways and place two halves in each child’s bowl, The good thing about bananas is that they are easily cut with plastic knives so smaller hands can do this too and for smaller tummies use half a banana.

Place the banana with the cut side facing up so that the goodies have the flat surface to balance everything on.

Let them add a few dollops of their favourite yoghurt to the bananas as this is a great protein source plus it’s the ‘glue’ that everything sticks to.

Have a Banana Buffet ready of ingredients you’re happy for them to add and they can have lots of fun piling it all on!

Chopped fruit, honey, seeds, nuts - have it all ready and giving them freedom of choice, as well as feeling grown up making it themselves gets their own buy-in on eating it so these are great for pickier eaters.

The beauty of this is you can be super healthy without them even realising! If you want to limit sprinkles or choc drops, add those to other ingredients so they still get them, but can’t go overboard!

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W

hen I set up The PDA Space, our family was already in the throes of our own revamp. I hadn’t asked for it. I had never consciously decided I was going to parent my children differently to other families. But each of my children came with an individual set of needs - both being very new to me and their dad and they very quickly let us both know that our parenting journey was going to need to change from the intended one.

Or more to the point, the one we were winging just like any other family. Neurodivergent children are less able to accommodate YOU. They are experiencing the world so differently to everyone else that they often retreat, they refuse - and if we’re not careful, they decline.

This is why all my research began - what we knew about parenting fell really short of what my children needed. And as I learned more, the biggest thing I saw was that we were not alone. All around me fellow parents started sharing how desperately isolated they felt - literally locked in their own homes with no support or services. With nowhere to go where they felt understood.

Newsflash!

You’re Allowed To Have Unique Needs

By Nicola Reekie Founder of The PDA Space

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One battle we also have is the fact we are facilitating the needs of our children by listening to THEM, yet everyone on typical paths will tell us we’re doing it ‘wrong’ or being too soft with them.

When you understand neurodivergence, and what really happens inside our young people’s bodies when they don’t feel safe, you know that when they say no, they really mean no. Not that they won’t but that they can’t.

Learning more about PDA helped me understand the complexities of it and why it was often soaking up my last precious remnants of bandwidth.

And I knew this had to be shared as others would be having those very same struggles. It IS isolating. It IS overwhelming.

The most common feedback we had from the summit this year was how much it means to be validated and have others understand what you’re going through.

This is what The PDA Space is for. Pathological Demand Avoidance is extremely complex even when you understand it - it’s beyond confusing when you don’t.

Imagine wanting to go and play outside with your new water cannon on a lovely sunny day, but the tasks between where you are, and being outside feel like demands that are too big for you.

The PDA Summit is here to help parents, educators and carers understand what the needs of our young people actually are. To look behind the behaviour. Dr Ross Greene shared the concept of Plan B parenting - looking at what obstacles our children might be facing and being ahead of their curve so we can facilitate them.

MindJam Dan is a great example of this. He spoke about the many benefits of gaming for ND children.

The escapism, the creativity, the ability to mould it to what they’re naturally good at without judgement or interference. The fact that gaming is an extremely realistic vocation for any child to aim for is worth advocating. Thousands of opportunities are there in script writing, designing, building entire worlds etc yet most parents don’t think in that way and focus more on the negatives and limiting screen time.

Ability is ability and our children need what they need.

I never set out to be radical, but one of the most radical things we can do as a parent is accommodate our children’s needs without apology.

A theme I talk about a lot is scaffolding - putting support, processes and accommodations in place that our young people need. Scaffolding needs tailoring to them in steps that they are able to take when they are ready to. And it’s a tough ask to get it ‘right’.

There is such a fine line between giving our PDAers enough help to complete their intended tasks, and doing them for them. Like building a wall, foundations give us faith that the wall will stay up, but if we build it or step away too quickly without the confidence in the supports, the whole thing tumbles.

The PDA Space is for anyone needing help or support navigating a world not designed for nontypical people. PDAers are rarely heard ‘properly’.

If you’d love to benefit from decades of research and lived experiences on how to support your PDAers, your neurodivergent people or those around you struggling to make sense of their heightened nervous systems, this is all pooled into one place at The PDA Summit. There is plenty of free support too.

ONE SIZE DOESN’T FIT ANY 14

This edition is all about being unique and being allowed to celebrate that. If you have siblings though, I’ll bet my last penguin biscuit that in your youth you regularly heard that you all get the same treatment.

And that this is the fairest way - good lord you can’t possibly treat one child differently to the others?! But when you get older, you then hear that your folks always knew you were different to the others. Yet they still reached for the One-Size-Fits-All yardstick every day of your entire childhood.

Where the heck did this ‘fair’ rule come from? The sheer fear that one child might be seen to be favoured? So to make sure, we’re going to ignore your unique needs and shoehorn you all into one family clone machine.

I didn’t wake up one day and decide I’d be a ‘different’ parent. But because my adulthood has been years (read decades) of unlearning, relearning and then reparenting myself, there was zero chance I was going to replicate my childhood structure.

One size? “Yaay - a garment that doesn’t actually fit, it doesn’t look nice, feel nice, it didn’t consider anyone at all during the design phase but we’re going to shout from the rooftops that because it ‘can’ be worn it’s suitable for all”. It’s generic and lazy.

They can pretend all they like in their marketing and pitching that it’s aimed at everyone but I’m intelligent enough to clock straight away that it was designed for nobody. Not one ‘actual’ person. I’m not buyin’ it.

So back to the parenting yardstick - I didn’t deliberately refuse to pick it up. I just listened to my kids. I’m the world’s biggest chatterbox so it wasn’t a surprise that LOADS of conversations happened with my children.

And that’s it. School runs, drives, walks etc were always a yabber. When conversations happen, you get to know them, without agenda. Without realising, I got to know them as people rather than them being ‘my’ children.

Being the exception doesn’t mean our kids suddenly turn into tantrum-wielding foot stompers. It just means that they know their own minds.

They know what makes them tick and the irony is that they ‘kick off’ less because they’re not carrying wounds of unimportance.

My kids were taught they’re allowed to be the exception. One loves curry, the other hates it. One loves crafts, the other detests them. One loves puzzles, the other gets annoyed if I even suggest them.

When my son struggled in school, they asked me what I did with him (what they meant was how did I ‘punish’ him) when he kicked off at home like he does at school, and I had to tell them he never kicked off at home. Because at home, he was taught from day dot that he was important enough to be listened to. To actually be heard.

He was never cloaked in the parenting one-size-fits-all all garment so that he couldn't see who he was. And no that’s not me saying our kids aren’t going to misbehave, kick off and dis-regulate, especially if they are neurodivergent. It’s also not a shaming exercise - we’re all trying our best. But it’s okay to let our kids choose differently to us, or what we were possibly going to autopilot our way through if not careful.

What I am saying is that in a world where non-typical kids are labelled as problematic, you’re allowed to listen to your kids and advocate for their uniqueness. When they don’t have to elbow their way to their place at their own table, they’re happier to join in the whole conversation or leave it altogether. And both are absolutely fine.

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Searching!

Ready for a tricky puzzle while sitting in the sunshine? On the right are LOTS of items - looking for their twin. Their other twin is hidden in the square on the left - can you find them? But here’s the super tricky part - there’s one rogue item on the right that doesn’t have a twin! Can you spot which one it is??

You can colour the items in too if you like to keep you extra busy! Or maybe even do this puzzle with a friend and take it in turns to find your items! Who will find the solo symbol all on its own?

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Sunset

Even more Searching!

Tent

Boat

et Suns

t Hea

Pool

Can you find all of the summery words from the list on the right? Flowers? Check! June? Check!

Bnignua? Check! Wait - that’s not even a word!?

Holidays Shorts August Skateboard Barbecue Hot Soccer Humid Baseball n Iced Tea Sunscree Beach Sunset Inside Bike Swimming July Boat Tan June Camp Lemonade Tanktops Family Tent Outside Fishing Themepark Park Flight Tour Flip Flops Picnic Travel Play Flowers Trip Pool Friends Vacation Relax Garden rk Sandals Waterpa Heat

July Garden

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SUDOKU Each row, column and rectangle should contain one of each summer picture. You can’t have more than one picture that is the same on any line, or in any box. It can be trickier than it looks!

Can you fill in the blank spaces? When you have finished the puzzle, you should have nine of each of the pictures.

If you’d like to know the answers, they’re on the Mum’s The Word Magazine page in Facebook

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Litha is a Pagan holiday which is also known as Midsummer.

Litha occurs on the Summer Solstice and celebrates the beginning of Summer so will be celebrated on the 24th of June this year.

Time to switch off!

‘Be like the flower, turn your face to the sun’ Kahlil Gibran

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Reparenting On A Sentient Basis Why so many cycle-breaking parents have woken up to the fact that we’re SUPPOSED to be sensitive creatures

Sentient: Capable of sensation; conscious or aware.

Sentient being n. Any organism that is sentient or capable of feeling Being a sentient creature could easily be seen as a status reserved for the more evolved species’ on the planet - so we’re rewarded with a bliss that this evolution brought us. The dictionary tells us that sentient means capable of sensing or feeling: conscious of or responsive to the sensations of seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, or smelling. These senses can be instant doorways - reminders of what makes us human - or as we’re talking about being unique in this edition what makes us ‘us’.

Despite most of us all having the five main senses, our experiences of them are not remotely typical though. Maybe you love the smell of cut grass and the smell reminds you of running around on playing fields as a child? Or the safety that we feel via touch of a hand being held, or a hug when we’re wobbling.

The taste of a certain meal, seeing birthday candles being blown out or a song we heard as a child transporting us back to even more childhood memories. Like little memos to self, our own sensory combo’s send messages to our brains to say “Hey remember this?“

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And our amazing brains decipher these codes and take us to specific, dates, times and memories as if we were there all over again. In nanoseconds.

Which is great if it’s a positive experience it’s recalling, but what if it’s something we’d rather not be reliving?

Or perhaps there are patterns ‘happening’ that we’d rather interrupt and disrupt than repeat on autopilot. What if there are attachments we formed to beliefs and behaviours in our childhood that are not serving us well? What do we do then?

If you’re interested in psychology or have ever attended therapy, you may be familiar with the term ‘inner child’. This is the aspect of ourselves that was formed during our childhood years. A well-nurtured childhood where we felt safe, protected and validated would help a child grow up to be able to form a strong bond with themselves.

There are five common needs that if unmet, can cause inner child wounds which can then become default behaviours: A less nurtured childhood may teach us insecure attachments - these children often grow into more self-doubting adults who will seek external relationships to fill their internal gaps. The problem many of us have though, is we can’t see our own gaps. If we’re not careful, our life can become one huge finger-pointing exercise at how others are ‘failing’ us, when what we’re actually searching for is a pretty hefty serving of emotional Polyfilla that only we can apply to ourselves.

1. Physical Safety and Security

4. Emotional Validation

if an environment isn’t safe and secure, a child won’t trust it enough to explore it - fear, anxiety and distrust will dominate, with them learning to retreat rather than engage with their surroundings.

Validated emotions lead to a much stronger sense of self. Being self aware - knowing when it IS valid to feel a certain way builds emotional regulation foundations which will help stress management and the ability to trust others.

2. Stability and Consistency

5. Unconditional Love and Acceptance

Humans need predictability and routine to feel stable and secure otherwise feelings of chaos and uncertainty disregulate us. Predictability is where a hefty chunk of our emotional and physical safety lies.

Every child deserves to feel accepted for who they are and loved without conditions. Without these, children may become insecure with low selfesteem and feelings of unworthiness which will impact on their future ability to form healthy relationships.

3. Empathy and Understanding Children need adults to validate their experiences and perspectives or they will withdraw. They’ll feel misunderstood, leading to isolation and alienation and their ability to connect with others authentically will limit their emotional resilience.

Without wanting to trigger anybody, taking any one of those points and gently feeling into where our own inner child gaps might be, would shine a significant light on how we behave in our adult relationships and dynamics.

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Reclaiming Your Inner Child Before we get into this - I just want to be clear I’m not an inner child therapist. I don’t work specifically with any therapeutic modalities involving conscious rewiring. I do work with unconscious healing specifically around identity, but in a very different way to the next few paragraphs.

This is merely me as a writer wanting to help, knowing how the mind and body work, and understanding that most people - especially those of us with inner child wounds - take a very long time to value ourselves enough to invest in.

What I also know, is that our wounds don’t go away. They were formed when we were children because our childhood needs weren’t met. And those needs were pivotal when we formed our identity and sense of self.

So my first invitation to you is to only do what feels right for you right now. Healing is learning to listen to yourself - if anything ever feels uncomfortable you need to stop. Straight away - with love. Society has this warped mentality of everything being ‘push on through’ when the going gets tough. We’re not doing that.

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Which brings us to the main point - when you learn to reclaim who you are behind and underneath everything we’re experiencing on a daily basis, you learn to trust where you start and stop. Nobody will be able to trust themselves if they’re not allowed to say no when they need to.

If you’d like an exercise to try to see if your inner child needs some tlc, have a notebook handy or your phone. Whenever you have negative selftalk going on - remember that’s a learnt narrative.

Said by others, not you. Make a note of what you said or thought.Then take that back one level which of the 5 needs did it relate to? What is the theme behind it ie children are so annoying, you silly child, what would you know etc then note where you’d have inherited that from.

We can then slowly replace this lingo with inner chats reminding us that it’s not true and give other data to our brain regularly that we are worthy etc Understanding the 5 core childhood needs will also show you how you’re parenting your children and I’ll say this a LOT - this isn’t so that you can berate yourself! It’s to help you reclaim you and then the ripples start from there.

I’ll be talking about these themes a LOT in future editions as most of my peers and readers are reclaiming themselves via their own parenting journey so more suggestions are ahead - but for the moment, I’m being very gentle with you with one small exercise and that’s very much on purpose! :)

What’s the hardest part of parenting?

Feeling like you’re on your own.

It doesn’t matter what you’re going through, if you find someone else who understands, it removes the isolation.

Want to join our brand new gang?

The Mum’s The Word Facebook & WhatsApp Community is one of the few places where you don’t need to pretend you’re still sane! Join us here.

Current WhatsApp Groups...

What's In The Fridge? I DETEST the family-food conveyor belt so this is for shared ideas when inspiration has done a runner.

Need A Service? The group will always be a pitch-free zone, but this chat is for if you're actively looking for a recommendation or help.

Wins - some days, just cleaning your teeth, or washing dishes that have haunted you for two days can be a win. This is for the wins to be cheered on - regardless of their size.

Wobbles - we have plenty of these too, so this is a safe place to share that so it doesn't fester - I personally think there's nothing more powerful than a 'me too' moment knowing it isn't just you.

School Shizzle - a shared space for anything school-related as so many of our children are struggling and it's an absolute minefield.

Divergents - I don't like to label or box people's quirks and traits off - this is for those diagnosed, undiagnosed or just different thinkers, trying to make sense of life or issues that are 'issuing'.

Bizz Shizz - a designated space for parents running businesses to openly promote, swap, share, ask for advice etc.

All for £2 per month?

That’s as bonkers as we are!?

Monthly Expert Masterclass Monthly Prize Draw Business Section for families Support from fellow frazzled parents!

TEACHING RESOURCES EARLY YEARS FOUNDATION STAGE BIRTH TO AGE 5 Whether you are your child’s prime educator, or you’re looking for additional teaching resources, here’s a selection we’ve collected that may help...

SPECIALISATIONS If you are looking for help on a specific topic, such as reading, writing or speech for instance, many of these sites offer multiple specialisations. If you can't find what you're looking for at any point, feel free to raise it in our Facebook group and we'll happily hunt for it for you as the odds are that if you need it, lots of other parents would too! We'll be adding to the links as we go along so this is just the starting point.

EDUCATIONAL INFO • Oxford Owl - a website from age 3 - range of topics with reading being of emphasis.

• BBC Tiny Happy People - lots of activities aimed at helping your child to develop their communication skills through play.

• Word United - Loads of printable activities and really useful information on the topics such as science for toddlers.

• Libraries From Home - Libraries are known for their community activities - their reading sessions and imaginative play - this is all of the resources they're providing from home • BBC Bitesize - a fantastic site full of resources across all of the learning stages, includes daily lessons.

• Hungry Little Minds - gov site offering learning and interactive activities to do with your children - handily separated from 0-6mths, 6-12mths, 12-24mths, 2-3 yrs, 3-5 yrs.

Children learn as they play.

Most importantly, in play, children learn how to learn.

O. Fred Donaldson

• National Literary Trust - Full of reading resources, this charity works with schools and communities to provide disadvantaged children with literacy skills - loads of online resources.

24

EYFS

TEACHING RESOURCES KEY STAGE ONE AGES 5 TO 7 Whether you are your child’s prime educator, or you’re looking for additional teaching resources, here’s a selection we’ve collected that may help...

SPECIALISATIONS If you are looking for help on a specific topic, such as reading, writing or speech for instance, many of these sites offer multiple specialisations. If you can't find what you're looking for at any point, feel free to raise it in our Facebook group and we'll happily hunt for it for you as the odds are that if you need it, lots of other parents would too! We'll be adding to the links as we go along so this is just the starting point.

EDUCATIONAL INFO • Oxford Owl - a website from age 3 to 11 - range of topics with reading and phonics being of emphasis.

• Robin Hood Multi Academy Trust - a great site devoted to teaching children through innovation encouraging independent thinking - offers 7 weeks of teaching resources.

• Word United - Loads of printable activities and really useful information on the topics up to age 11.

• Libraries From Home - Libraries are known for their community activities - their reading sessions and imaginative play - this is all of the resources they're providing from home • BBC Bitesize - a fantastic site full of resources across all of the learning stages, includes daily lessons.

• Crash Course Kids and Cognito - both YouTube sites with educational videos CCK is mainly science but Cognito is a wider range but both great for auditory or visual learners.

• National Literary Trust - Full of reading resources, this charity works with schools and communities to provide disadvantaged children with literacy skills - loads of online resources.

25

“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”

William Butler Yeats

KS1

TEACHING RESOURCES KEY STAGE TWO AGES 7 TO 11 Whether you are your child’s prime educator, or you’re looking for additional teaching resources, here’s a selection we’ve collected that may help...

SPECIALISATIONS If you are looking for help on a specific topic, such as reading, writing or speech for instance, many of these sites offer multiple specialisations. If you can't find what you're looking for at any point, feel free to raise it in our Facebook group and we'll happily hunt for it for you as the odds are that if you need it, lots of other parents would too! We'll be adding to the links as we go along so this is just the starting point.

EDUCATIONAL INFO

• Oxford Owl - a website from age 3 to 11 - range of topics with reading and literacy being a strong emphasis.

• Robin Hood Multi Academy Trust - a great site devoted to teaching children through innovation encouraging independent thinking - offers 7 weeks of teaching resources.

• Word United - Loads of printable activities and really useful information on the topics such up to age 11.

• Mystery Science - Science based site with lessons to 'open and go' - their mission is to inspire kids to enjoy STEM subjects and they're currently offering a free one year membership.

• BBC Bitesize - a fantastic site full of resources across all of the learning stages, includes daily lessons going from Early Years through to college • Crash Course Kids and Cognito - both YouTube sites with educational videos CCK is mainly science but Cognito is a wider range but both great for auditory or visual learners.

“The trouble with over-structuring is that it discourages exploration.”

Jay Giedd

26

KS2

TEACHING RESOURCES KEY STAGE THREE AGES 11 TO 14 Whether you are your child’s prime educator, or you’re looking for additional teaching resources, here’s a selection we’ve collected that may help...

SPECIALISATIONS If you are looking for help on a specific topic, such as reading, writing or speech for instance, many of these sites offer multiple specialisations. If you can't find what you're looking for at any point, feel free to raise it in our Facebook group and we'll happily hunt for it for you as the odds are that if you need it, lots of other parents would too! We'll be adding to the links as we go along so this is just the starting point.

EDUCATIONAL INFO • Mystery Science - Science based site with lessons to 'open and go' - their mission is to inspire kids to enjoy STEM subjects and they're currently offering a free one year membership.

• Access 500 Museums and Art Galleries - For students inspired by the arts and culture, this is a fantastic collection of all of the museums and galleries from around the world offering free online access.

• BBC Bitesize - a fantastic site full of resources across all of the learning stages, includes daily lessons going from Early Years through to college.

• Teach It - a site full of resources for KS3, 4 and 5 to help with all subjects • National Geographic - No learning section would be complete without National Geographic in it! Full of lessons and quizzes this site is great for all the nature and geography fiends!

Let the child be the scriptwriter, the director and the actor in his own play.

Magda Gerber

National Literary Trust - Full of reading resources, this charity works with schools and communities to provide disadvantaged children with literacy skills - loads of online resources.

27

KS3

TEACHING RESOURCES KEY STAGE FOUR AGES 14 TO 16 Whether you are your child’s prime educator, or you’re looking for additional teaching resources, here’s a selection we’ve collected that may help...

EDUCATIONAL FUN

SPECIALISATIONS If you are looking for help on a specific topic, such as reading, writing or speech for instance, many of these sites offer multiple specialisations. If you can't find what you're looking for at any point, feel free to raise it in our Facebook group and we'll happily hunt for it for you as the odds are that if you need it, lots of other parents would too! We'll be adding to the links as we go along so this is just the starting point.

• The Traditional Teacher - core knowledge about GCSE literary texts which pupils should memorise: plot, characters, setting, context, themes, and key quotations • Teach It - a site full of resources for KS3, 4 and 5 to help with all subjects • National Geographic- No learning section would be complete without National Geographic in it! Full of lessons and quizzes this site is great for all the nature and geography fiends!

• BBC Bitesize - a fantastic site full of resources across all of the learning stages, includes daily lessons going from Early Years through to college.

• Digital Projects - for the more IT minded, a site dedicated to learning how to create all things digital, in project fornats to make the learning process more relatable and digestible.

Kids deserve the right to think that they can change the world.

Lois Lowry

28

KS4

And Finally...

I bid you farewell with a gift - a non-apology from me. If you thought this mag was going to be a mum knowing what she’s doing, it isn’t.

If you thought it was going to be a fellow parent with her shizzle together, it’s not that either. What it is, is a shared and brutally honest muddle of modern day life as a parent - in this case a solo parent.

But why the ‘non’ apology Nik? Because for years. we’ve all stood on parade as mothers. How we conceived (or didn’t).

How we carried our babies in our wombs. How we birthed them.

How we weaned them, spoke to them, behaved with them.

Whether they were in our beds for too long or in their cots too early. Whether we were stay at home mums or needed to go back to work too soon for other’s liking.

Whether our partners were on the same page, mothers approved, or mother-in-laws agreed. Whether we lost our baby weight, ate the right food, raised our kids as carnivores or vegans.

Whether they’re home-educated, in school, unschooled, in the right classes, on the right waiting lists, in the right percentiles.

EVERYBODY has an opinion and It. Is. Exhausting. But every day, with love, we try. And ‘our’ people get it.

The only guarantee you’ll get in life is that if you keep trying, you WILL make mistakes. So for all of you in our respective parenting quagmires, PLEASE gift yourself a non-apology too.

I know I’m not a standard parent - most of my fabulous friends and readers aren’t - but we’ll never apologise for trying to meet our children’s needs in our own ways.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Dr Seuss

“

“

Nik

xx