RECLAIM YOUR POWER BY RECLAIMING YOUR FEELINGS

B y : L i s a E n t w i s l e

Being a mum has brought me closer to humanity than ever before. I feel the collective resonance and recognition in being part of one of the most powerful, fierce groups on the planet

Some days I want to run away to someplace beautiful and get lost. And it's that same part of me that wants no one to ever find me … and yet another part of me wants everyone to search for me. Motherhood truly is a paradox. But a mumpreneur is a paradox on steroids.

Being a mum has brought me closer to humanity than ever before. I feel the collective resonance and recognition in being part of one of the most powerful, fierce groups on the planet. Yet, at times I don’t feel this power at all. Instead, I feel alone, deflated, flat, fragile and undervalued.

Leading up to becoming amum, I chose selfemployment. The idea of being an employee felt too restrictive, and being the type of woman I am, I could not surrender to being a mum and a homemaker.

So, I let the false notion of flexibility as an entrepreneur justify my choice. But, what I didn’t realise, was how difficult the balance of ‘holding on and letting go’ is, and the ripple effect that would have on my selfworth, my mental state, and my ability to achieve the high standard I wanted inlife.

I also soon realised that keeping on top of personal health and maintaining selfcare is tough, and that feeling like a failure at times is inevitable. But despite all of this, being a mum brought me closer to my humanity than ever before:

What was I trying to prove and to who? Was I using work to escape from motherhood? Did I have enough support? Was my strong, capable woman persona getting in the way of my true values? It was time for some solid, honestreflection.

I felt drained by living a life where I had so much responsibility to be everything all the time and didn't know how to just be me. I wanted to relinquish control and just allow, trust, and flow, but couldn’t seem to detach myself from trying to control the outcome of everything! And I think the truth is, that as a mother, someone else’s wellbeing holds as much importance as your own, so the possibility of compassion fatigue is a real thing.

But, I am strong and fierce, yet also soft, vulnerable ... and messy.

Some days a part of me wants to disconnect and give up on everything, whilst another part yearns forconnection, belonging, purpose, and success. What I really want is to communicate calmly and confidently with loved ones, and to laugh so much more than I do.

And if you are like me, you dream about your morning coffee. Let me tell you, that I see you, I hear you—I am you —and your kids love you more than you think.

Being mums in business, we are walking a fine tightrope between an independent, successful businesswoman, a loving mother, and a rockstar homemaker. As those roles become blurred, life can feel messy and uncomfortable. We may find ourselves so disconnected from our internal power source, making choices that are externally referenced, and leaving us feelingdrained: physically,emotionally, and mentally.

It's time to reclaim our power. To accept ourselves wholeheartedly, in all our brilliance and all our messy emotions. We need to learn to be gentle with ourselves, and treat our minds and bodies as if we were our own beloved child. And above all, we must all learn

to accept, respect, love, and trust ourselves, by prioritising time to learn what our needs are—how we meet them, will change our lives, and improve our relationships, health andwork.

Feeling the big emotions is overwhelming and to be honest, despite knowing it’s important and necessary to feel all of your emotions, it can be hard. Believe me when I say that the more you resist your emotions by pretending—and peoplepleasing—rather than expressing your truth, you may just reinforce feelings of anxiety and further deplete your energy.

This is what I have learnt on the tricky path of being true to myself:

Motherhood and business do not have a blueprint or formula for success.

We get to make and follow our own rules for both. Gather information from other mumpreneurs and appreciate their work, but make choices that are aligned to your own values, personality, andcircumstances.

Life is raw and unpredictable and the only way of being real is to beimperfect.

I understand that being imperfect can bring up feelings of not being good enough, like you are failing at everything that matters so much to you.

But consider the power in modelling imperfection. Maybe your children will learn not to pretend, and will come to us when they’ve failed or made mistakes, and will share their struggles without lying out of shame.

Everyone has inner power, it is our birthright and it flows through us.

You must know yourself – your core foundations must be solid; otherwise, it is very difficult to be guided by your inner power.

When we people please, and work hard to avoid disappointing others as well as managing other peoples’ emotions, we become affected by the way other people choose to behave. This can cause feelings of hurt, rejection, anxiety, and frustration and even influence our self-worth— and we all know the ripple effect and that cycle of low self-worth. The truth is, no matter how much we try, we have no control over what others feel.

As harsh it sounds, you cannot expect to have a successful, authentic business, or be the person you want to be when your externalise your power.

‘Being you' is appreciating your qualities and values and expressing them in your own way. Sometimes, this means being available, and other times it means knowing your limits and expressing a boundary.

Not everyone is going to like that, but if we spend our

lives over-caring, avoiding conflict, and seeking approval, we become drained—and no one benefits from that.

Through my life, I prioritised my connection to myself and worked hard on selfknowledge and awareness. In time, I realised that I also needed to outsource some support within my life and business. I tried to play superwoman and do everything all by myself for a while, but the results were slow. And at times I felt like I was on top things, but it didn't take long before I was playing out the same oldpatterns.

I had to let go of the shame of not copying or needing support, as well as the belief that because I’d worked in wellbeing for more than 20 years and knew what to do, that I could do it without help. I needed to let go of the belief that I must be a fraud helping others if I couldn’t even help myself.

It was this shift in my mindset that shifted my life. Because we all need support—and I feel so blessed for the people who have helped and continue to assist my growth.

I strongly encourage you to spend some time, both journalling and working

with someone to identify your values, beliefs, patterns,behaviours, and self-talk. Become self-aware about what is and isn’t assisting you to live the life you desire, enables you to take inspired action: making more choices that are respecting, loving, and honouring what is important to you.

And remember, there is so much power and possibility

inside of a paradox.

Lisa Entwisle