Issuu

Lyrics by Jack Murphy

Revised Book by Jennifer Paulson-Lee and Gabriel Barre

Based on an Original Book by Gregory Boyd and Jack Murphy

Music by Frank Wildhorn

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(Last Revised—November 2025)

With the exception of the actor who plays Alice, all principal actors in the play have two roles—one in present day New York City, and the second in Wonderland.

ALICE—Sr. Game Developer at Everheart Video Gaming, Inc.; Diligent, Driven and Ambitious

CHLOE / CHILD IN WONDERLAND / YOUNG ALICE—Alice’s Daughter/Alice’s Younger Self. Reads 8–9 year old

JACK / WHITE KNIGHT—a Musician (saxophone) and Alice’s soon-to-be ex-husband/A Knight in White

EVERHEART / QUEEN OF HEARTS—50’s or 60’s, Founder of Everheart Video Gaming, Inc.; Calculating and judgmental corporate type/Erratic and whimsical Ruler of Wonderland

MS. MADDIE QUIZZLE / MAD HATTER—Sr. Game Developer of Everheart Video Gaming, Inc.; a mousy, manipulative genius/Determined to take over as Ruler of Wonderland

RICHARD HOPPER / RABBIT—Alice’s highly punctual Secretary at Everheart Video Gaming, Inc./Frenetic timekeeper of Wonderland

TYRELL LEGGETT / CATERPILLAR—Everheart Video Gaming, Inc. Consultant/EasyGoing and Wise Insect

JOSE PURREZ / EL GATO—Everheart Video Gaming, Inc. Consultant/Slick Cat with a sly grin and philosophical mind.

MO / MORRIS—Everheart Video Gaming, Inc. Employee/Mad Scientist sidekick to Mad Hatter

“CHAZ”—Homeless Man in the style of a modern Victorian Gentleman/Janitor at EVG, Inc./ Club Wonderland DJ

ENSEMBLE CHARACTER BREAKDOWN (ASPECT OF ALICE)

The number of non-principal ensemble members is flexible, depending on cast size . Ensemble actors play Alice’s co-workers in the non-dream world. However, in Club Wonderland, each Ensemble member becomes a character influenced by those in the books by Lewis Carroll. Each character personifies an aspect of Alice’s personality, shown in parentheses.

An asterisk denotes preferred/essential Ensemble characters. Additional character suggestions are grouped below.

*CARPENTER—(Creativity)

*HIP HOP COWBOY—(Strength)

*ROCKSTAR—(Joy)

*WALRUS—(Trickery)

*UNICORN—(Fantasy)

*SNOW ANGEL—(Hope)

*OYSTER—(Materialistic)

*BUTTERFLY—(Wishes)

*TWEEDLEDUM—(Colliding Ideas)

*TWEEDLEDEE—(Colliding Ideas)

*LION—(Pride)

DUCHESS—(Appetite)

HUMPTY DUMPTY—(Stubbornness)

FLAMINGO—(Rigidity)

GRYPHON—(Honesty)

DORMOUSE—(Fatigue)

BLACK & WHITE LADY—(Indecisiveness)

FLOWER—(Lover of Nature)

Board of Directors Member #1 / WAITER*

Board of Directors Member #2 / WAITER

Board of Directors Member #3 / WAITER

Board of Directors Member #4 / WAITER

KNIGHT

The Waiter(s) in Club Wonderland are helpful facilitators, and maintain the Club atmosphere. They are neutral in their allegiances.

ACT I

#1—Overture

It is early morning and drizzling in present-day NYC. A HOMELESS MAN makes his way into the theater and onto the stage. He wears a top hat and has a peculiar Victorian look to him. He sits down and leans against a building wall with graffiti on it. He puts his hat out next to him for money and drifts off to sleep.

If using video content as a scenic choice:

The graffiti seems to come to life. Images of hand drawn renderings of the original “Alice in Wonderland” (Tenniel) illustrations appear, become animated, then change form as they morph into contemporary versions of themselves, depicting the main characters we are about to meet.

Thunder is heard and rain intensifies as rush hour begins. JACK enters and dodges his way through the busy street, crowded with people on their way to work. HE arrives at an apartment building, steps over the HOMELESS MAN and shakes off his umbrella, then walks inside the building.

#1A—Apartment 8A

SCENE 1: APARTMENT 8A

CHLOE is sitting in a chair in the apartment living room. She reads a passage from “Alice in Wonderland” to her doll, Dinah, as she writes the quote on a small piece of paper.

CHLOE

“There is a place like no place on earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say, to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter.”

CHLOE hides the note inside the pocket of the doll.

Now Dinah, keep this safe in your pocket and don’t lose it.

JACK, bitter and full of ego, enters with coffee and a bag of doughnuts. He tries his best in front of CHLOE, but is unsuccessful in hiding his raw emotions toward ALICE, blaming her for their failing marriage, uncomfortable in the apartment.

JACK

Morning sweetheart! Ready to go?

CHLOE closes the book and leaves it in the chair.

CHLOE

Dad—I didn’t know you were coming… I thought we were meeting you tonight at therapy?

JACK

Mom’s got another meeting this morning at work. She asked if I could get you to school. I brought doughnuts—hungry?

CHLOE

No… Yes… I don’t know. Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything?

JACK I thought Mom was going to tell you.

CHLOE

Why don’t you just stay here? Mom’s never around.

JACK

Because I don’t live here anymore, honey.

CHLOE

A technicality, Dad. A mere technicality.

ALICE enters from the bedroom in a flurry.

ALICE

You’re here. Good. (To CHLOE)

Sorry about the change, but there’s a big meeting today. I have to be on my game and I can’t be late… Daddy’s taking you to school. You guys better get going.

CHLOE

Yeah sure… whatever. I’ll get my backpack. She exits.

JACK Coffee?

ALICE

Thanks. No. Um… I got a call from the lawyer. The papers are ready. I made the appointment for tomorrow night.

JACK

Right. Well, I’m glad at least that we had a chance to stop and think before we did something that we’ll both regret.

ALICE

Look. We are different people now. We were kids when we got married. This is the best thing for everyone.

JACK

Everyone? What are you running from, Allie? I don’t even know who you are these days?

ALICE

Don’t act like you have nothing to do with this. You want to be a famous musician… great. You are talented, but we can’t eat your saxophone.

JACK Baby, don’t you see what this is doing to Chloe?

ALICE

Grow up, Jack! She is going to be fine. She’s a kid. I have a job, and I’m working hard to provide a home for Chloe and me.

CHLOE re-enters, hearing the end of the argument. ALICE, seeing the time on her phone:

UGH!! You guys should go—I have to focus.

ALICE starts to pack her bag. CHLOE puts her doll into ALICE’s satchel.

CHLOE

Here Mom—take Dinah with you—for good luck.

ALICE kisses her forehead. JACK heads for the door.

ALICE

Chloe honey, I will see you at therapy after work.

JACK

Let’s go sweets.

(JACK)

(CHLOE exits through the door. To ALICE)

I thought we had a home.

JACK leaves the apartment “outside” to meet CHLOE. He tries to get a cab. ALICE starts to collect her work items, then sees herself in a family photograph, and sits. JACK and CHLOE sing, then ALICE, in their own reality, unheard by one another.

HOME IS NOT A PLACE, AN ADDRESS YOU MEMORIZE IT’S MORE THAN CENTRAL PARK OR APARTMENT 8-A

IT’S WHERE YOU NEVER FEEL LONELY WHENEVER YOU’RE ALONE THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE HOME

JACK

HOW I WISH THAT WE COULD FEEL THAT SOMEHOW, RIGHT NOW

HOW I WISH THAT WE COULD FEEL THAT AGAIN HOW I WISH SHE COULD REMEMBER JUST ONCE, RIGHT NOW

HOW I WISH THAT WE COULD FIND IT AGAIN

ALICE

HOME IS LIKE A SMILE YOU SEE IN A PHOTOGRAPH NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE

WHY CAN’T WE ALL BE TOGETHER THE WAY WE USED TO BE?

JACK BACK ON THE GROUND

ALICE

NO MORE RACING AROUND

#2—Home

CHLOE

Applause.

JACK, CHLOE, & ALICE

HERE, SAFE AND SOUND… AND HOME

#2A—Into Conference Room

ALICE grabs her coat, satchel, phone, and as a second thought, the coffee Jack had left.

SCENE 2: CONFERENCE ROOM—EVERHEART VIDEO GAMING, INC.

Staring at his watch and standing near the elevator at the office is RICHARD HOPPER. Elevator doors open. A sea of OFFICE WORKERS file out, then finally, ALICE.

You’re late, Alice…

HOPPER

Yes, I know I am late. Has it started yet?

ALICE

HOPPER leads with ALICE trailing, changing her rain boots to office shoes with the help of an ASSISTANT.

HOPPER

In 5… Don’t you think today would have been the right day to actually be on time? Since 4… it is, as you know, the day your concept presentation is being… 3… critiqued by the CEO and Founder of Everheart Games, Inc. … And “TO–DAY” (as in, two–day), you could be named…

As they enter the conference room, EVERHEART paces and toys with a remote control while 4 “SUITS” stand in an intimidating way—they are the EVG Inc. Board of Directors. MADDIE QUIZZLE is seated, sipping tea. Also in attendance are new hires, TYRELL LEGGETT and JOSE PURREZ. MO, an employee at EVG, stands behind QUIZZLE.

EVERHEART

… one of possibly the most boring, unimaginative video games I have ever played… Alice, how nice of you to join us.

QUIZZLE Tea?

EVERHEART

How are we supposed to capture the hearts…

QUIZZLE

… and the minds…

EVERHEART

… of our fans if we fall asleep PLAYING our own GAMES… And SLEEP…

(QUIZZLE adds on, standing)

EVERHEART & QUIZZLE DOESN’T SELL!

EVERHEART sees QUIZZLE for the first time.

EVERHEART

Quizzle—you’re here… ? I hadn’t noticed. Sit. I will be announcing my retirement after this quarter,

(ALL are shocked by the news) and the Board of Directors and I are seeking a candidate capable of taking over and leading EVG Inc. into the next generation of gaming… Someone unique—with vision, edge, and imagination. Alice Cornwinkle and Madelyn Quizzle, as our “senior” developers, you are both naturally top choices. To help make a final decision, I propose the following contest: Each of you will have 24 hours to devise a completely new concept based on a classic board game. Mo… the hat please.

MO brings over a hat with slips of paper in it.

The template for the new video game concept will be, drumroll please! (pulling a card from the hat)

… Oh, how civilized… Chess! Maddie, you will work with Mo. And Alice, I have hired a team of younger, “hip” and “down,” as they say, programmers for you. Please meet Mr. Tyrell Leggett… and Mr. Jose Purrez… Teams, I suggest you put your heads together and come up with something stupendous by 9:00 am tomorrow morning, or those very same heads are going to roll on out of here!

EVERHEART slams the remote down and exits followed by the BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

QUIZZLE

(to ALICE)

Good luck, I suppose.

SHE exits with MORRIS. HOPPER crosses to ALICE.

HOPPER

What should I tell the two new Wonder pets?

ALICE raises her head and shoots him a look.

Excellent—sounds like a great time for an office tour… maybe they’ll get lost on their way back. Gentlemen, follow me.

HOPPER exits with PURREZ and LEGGETT. ALICE inadvertently knocks her coffee over—spilling it on the conference table. SHE sings while fighting internal thoughts of insecurity and paranoia as depicted in ensemble choreography.

#3—Worst Day of My Life

ALICE

IT’S GOTTA BE THE WORST DAY IT’S GOTTA BE THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE FRESH IDEAS THAT COULDN’T MISS WHEN DID THAT TURN INTO THIS? IF I JUST IGNORE THEM MAYBE THEY WILL SIMPLY GO AWAY

LIFE IS EASY ‘TIL IT’S NOT AND YOU CAN’T CONTROL THE PLOT MY WORLD IS COMPLICATED AND NOT NICE AND NEAT THE WAY I PLANNED AND SLIGHTLY MORE THAN I CAN STAND!

ALICE’s phone rings. JACK is seen on his cell phone holding his saxophone case. She answers.

ALICE

Jack, perfect timing. Everheart just announced her retirement. This could be my big break. I have to stay late, so I need you to take Chloe to your place for the night.

JACK

Allie, we have therapy tonight, remember? I was calling to see if I could meet you at the apartment, maybe have some dinner if you wanna cook…

ALICE

Cook?? … right… Just cancel the session.

JACK

You can’t keep changing the rules!!

ALICE

I’ll see you both tomorrow night at the lawyer’s!!

(ALICE ends the call.)

GOD, HE DOESN’T GET IT!

CAN’T HE SEE I’M STRETCHED A LITTLE THIN? LOSING GROUND AND SELF-ESTEEM

STUCK IN SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM

(ALICE)

SOMEBODY HELP ME CAN’T SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM MYSELF?

ALICE attempts to storyboard her new concept. Her paranoia is building.

ENSEMBLE

YOU’RE JUST WHO YOU ALWAYS WERE ALICE

I WORKED HARD TO NOT BE HER!

ALICE (CONT’D)

THERE MUST BE SOMEONE ELSE TO BLAME FOR WHY I ALWAYS FEEL THE SAME INSIDE THIS WOMAN I BECAME?

MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN SO COMPLICATED SO OVERWHELMING AND OVERRATED PERFECT WRITER, PERFECT MOTHER, PERFECT WIFE

MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN A LITTLE MANIC THE ONLY BUTTON I PUSH IS “PANIC” LIKE I’M DOING NOW AS THE GLOOM AND DOOM GET RIFE… THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!

ENSEMBLE

AHHH… TO BLAME THE SAME BECAME

MY LIFE, COMPLICATED OVERRATED

MY LIFE, LITTLE MANIC AND I PANIC

SHE’S OUT OF TOUCH

SHE’S LOST HER MIND

JOSE PURREZ

TYRELL LEGGET

SHE THINKS TOO MUCH

ALICE

MAYBE I DON’T HAVE IT ANYMORE

ENSEMBLE

SHE DOESN’T HAVE IT ANYMORE HER TALENT’S GONE HER MARRIAGE TOO WILL SHE GO ON?

(ALICE)

OR WILL SHE RUN RIGHT OUT THE DOOR?

(ENSEMBLE)

OR WILL SHE RUN RIGHT OUT THE—

SHE’S RUNNING SCARED AND RUNNING LATE

I’M LOSING SLEEP AND GAINING WEIGHT

CAN’T GET MY BRAIN TO CONCENTRATE

SHE’S LOSING SLEEP AND GAINING WEIGHT

CAN’T GET HER BRAIN TO CONCENTRATE

ENSEMBLE

ABOUT TO FLY OFF INTO SPACE

SHE’S RUNNING HARD TO STAY IN PLACE TOO MANY PROBLEMS SHE CAN’T FACE, TOO MANY PROBLEMS SHE CAN’T FACE

We begin to reach the end of the workday.

ALICE

MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN SO COMPLICATED SO OVERWHELMING AND OVERRATED PERFECT WRITER, PERFECT MOTHER, PERFECT WIFE

WHEN DID MY LIFE, THAT WAS SO FANTASTIC, CALL FOR SOLUTIONS SO FLAT OUT DRASTIC?

I’M SO FULL OF FEAR YOU COULD CUT IT WITH A KNIFE THIS IS THE WORST DAY

THE VERY WORST DAY THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

ENSEMBLE

SHE’S LOST HER MIND

SHE DOESN’T HAVE IT ANYMORE

HER TALENT’S GONE

HER MARRIAGE TOO THIS IS THE WORST DAY

THE VERY WORST DAY WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE.

By the time the song ends, the ENSEMBLE should have completed their exit, leaving ALICE at her desk, glad to finally be alone. Applause. She pulls items out of her bag— including the doll. She arranges her computer, sketchpad, iPad, phone, pens, markers and pencils. A JANITOR enters the conference room and starts cleaning.

JANITOR

Tough day? Never enough hours, right? (HE picks up the doll.)

ALICE

(taking the doll back )

‘Mind opening a window for me? I’m staying late tonight and I need fresh air and quiet to work.

The JANITOR mimes opening a window. We hear a huge subwoofer from the nightclub below. He dances a bit…

Good luck with that.

JANITOR

Damn club.

HE closes the window.

ALICE

JANITOR

I’ll let Security know you’re still here on my way out.

HE exits. Desperate for inspiration, ALICE sits the doll on the conference table.

ALICE

OK—you sit there, Dinah… and don’t move. What’s this?

(ALICE finds Chloe’s note and reads aloud.)

“There is a place like no place on earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say, to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter.”

Exhausted, SHE takes her shoes off and lowers her head to rest. RABBIT appears. Curious, RABBIT investigates the room. He sees the doll and picks it up, then checks his watch. ALICE lifts her head and their eyes meet.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!

ALICE

& RABBIT

RABBIT

It’s late!!

ALICE

Wait… Give that back!! Where are you going??

Frightened, RABBIT runs out of the CONFERENCE ROOM holding Dinah. ALICE grabs her shoes, trying to get them on as she chases him.

SCENE 3: THE ELEVATOR

First to the elevator, RABBIT pushes the elevator button.

SQ Elevator “Ping”

Door opens and RABBIT gets in quickly. The doors start to close. ALICE reaches the elevator just as the doors close. Assuming the RABBIT has taken the elevator, ALICE pushes the elevator button.

SQ Elevator “Ping”

Finally, the doors open. ALICE enters a charming, plush ELEVATOR. And SWOOSH! The ELEVATOR takes off at an impossible speed. ALICE hangs on—and sings as the floors fly by.

WHAT A FALL— COULD IT BE WHAT I SEE ISN’T REAL AT ALL?

IT’S A DREAM—

IF I BLINK, IN A WINK I’LL AWAKE

UP IS DOWN—

FLY AROUND, ‘TIL I’VE FOUND WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR

TROUBLE IS—

I MAY LOOK, BUT CAN I SEE? FEEL THE ELEVATOR FLY APART

NOW I’M IN MID-AIR, GOING GOD KNOWS WHERE BUT I’M SURE I’M FALLING

BRING ME BACK TO EARTH AND LET ME STAY LAND ME SAFE AND SOUND BACK ON SOLID GROUND

‘TIL I CAN FIND MY WAY BACK HOME

#4—Down the Rabbit Hole

(ALICE)

WHAT A FALL— COULD IT BE WHAT I SEE ISN’T REAL AT ALL?

ALICE, landed back on stage, finds herself alone on an empty city street. The WAITERS pop out to announce the arrival of the elevator.

WAITERS

“Ping!”

SCENE 4: CLUB WONDERLAND

Tapping his iPad, CHAZ starts a very cool contemporary dance beat.

SQ—Club music fills the theatre.

We are introduced to a completely new fantastical location. The city dissolves and CLUB WONDERLAND is revealed. It is a timeless, fantastical, and surreal nightclub. CHARACTERS begin to emerge, throbbing in wild abandon, dancing and dressed in costumes that cross between fashion-forward NYC clubbers but referencing many of the characters from “Alice in Wonderland.” Navigating the CROWD, ALICE catches a glimpse of the RABBIT, who is still holding Chloe’s doll while HE bobs and weaves through the CROWD. ALICE is determined to get the doll back and get back to work, but her passage becomes blocked by the wildly dancing CROWD. The WAITERS gesture towards CHAZ.

CHAZ blows a police whistle to signal a celebrity arrival. All heads turn to see who the celebrity is. The celebrity is ALICE.

#5—Welcome to Wonderland

ALL

WELCOME TO WONDERLAND

MY GOD, THAT DRESS LOOKS GREAT WHO CARES IF YOU CAME LATE?

WE DON’T CARE WHERE YOU’VE BEEN YOU’RE GONNA FIT RIGHT IN A LITTLE FUN DETOUR A LITTLE CRAZY—SURE DON’T GET ALL INSECURE

DUCHESS

PARDON ME BUT HAVE YOU SEEN MY MOCK TURTLE, MAYBELLINE? SHE WAS SINGING WITH CELINE THEN SHE DISAPPEARED

ROCKSTAR

MAYBE SHE JUST FLEW THE COOP

A WAITER

OR BECAME MOCK TURTLE SOUP

ALL WAITERS

LET’S ALL FORM A FOCUS GROUP

ALICE

MAN, THIS IS TOO WEIRD

SNOW ANGEL

WHAT A PARTY, HAS IT STARTED SNOWING?

UNICORN

EVERYONE NOT COMING WILL BE GOING

KNIGHTS

THOUGH THE QUEEN OF HEARTS IS GIVING ORDERS

QUEEN OF HEARTS

GO TO DEFCON ONE AND CLOSE THE BORDERS

MORRIS

(to HATTER)

COULD SHE BE THE ONE, YOU KNOW?

RABBIT

(to CHAZ)

TIN MAN, LION, OR SCARECROW

CHAZ

(to RABBIT)

WAIT, THAT’S FROM A DIFFERENT SHOW ALICE

PLEASE START MAKING SENSE!

CARPENTER

HAVE YOU SEEN MY WALRUS, DEAR?

BIG MUSTACHE THAT’S DOWN TO HERE

OYSTER

MADE THE OYSTERS DISAPPEAR CLAIMING SELF-DEFENSE

ALICE

WAIT, I THINK YOU THINK I THINK I’M DREAMING AND, WHEN I WAKE UP I’LL WAKE UP SCREAMING

ALL

WAIT, I THINK YOU THINK YOU’RE DREAMING WHEN YOU WAKE YOU WAKE UP SCREAMING

The CHILD is briefly lifted upstage over the heads of the CROWD, wearing a whimsical, 1990’s/Victorian era outfit with a golden key around her neck. SHE is unnoticed by ALICE.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

WE DON’T THINK AT ALL, WE SIMPLY FEEL, DEAR

ALICE

OKAY, SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE

ALL

HEY LADY WHAT’S THE DEAL? WELCOME TO WONDERLAND THIS IS YOUR NEW ADDRESS YOU’LL LOVE IT MORE OR LESS NO TIME TO DECOMPRESS IT’S AFTERNOON ALL DAY THERE’S LOTS OF GAMES TO PLAY SOME LOVE THE LAWN CROQUET SO PLEASE ENJOY YOUR STAY

WHITE KNIGHT EVERY DAY IT’S SOMETHING NEW

COWBOY

PROBLEMS UP THE OLD WAZOO

RABBIT

RUMORS OF A PALACE COUP

ALICE

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

ALL

WOO! ANSWERS ARE IN SHORT SUPPLY

HATTER

WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, HOW, OR WHY TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE

CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE ALL

GET IT INTO GEAR WHEN YOUR ALTER EGO’S INTERFERING LITTLE GIRLS CANNOT STOP DISAPPEARING

This time, ALICE notices the young CHILD, but almost immediately the CHILD is absorbed again within the crowd.

WELCOME TO WONDERLAND START ROCKIN’ WITH THE BAND YOU’RE GOING SO DAMN FAST YOUR FUTURE’S IN YOUR PAST A GAMER ALWAYS KNOWS WHICH WAY THE STORY GOES SO TIDY UP LOOSE ENDS WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM YOUR FRIENDS…

C’MON AND SING ALONG JOIN OUR LITTLE BAND TURN UP THE VOLUME AND KEEP ON DANCIN’ SIT BACK, ENJOY YOURSELF AND FEEL THE RIVER FLOW

MAKE SURE THE JOURNEY’S WORTH THE THINGS YOU’RE CHANCIN’ WE’RE ALL A LITTLE NUTS IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW OOBLEE … OOBLAH…

WE’D LOVE TO STAY HERE BUT WE REALLY GOTTA GO OOBLEE… OOBLAH…

LIFE CAN BE FANTASTIC EVERY MINUTE FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN JUST STAY IN IT ALICE spots RABBIT who is still holding the doll and SHE begins to chase him.

(ALL)

WELCOME TO WONDERLAND WHERE EVERYTHING YOU SEE I MEAN FROM “A” TO “Z”

AIN’T WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE

WELCOME TO WONDERLAND

GO ON AND HAVE SOME FUN

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS WHEN DONE GOOD LUCK AND THANKS A TON

ALL

CIAO, BABY, GOTTA RUN

The CROWD exits in all different directions on the final vocal. CHAZ heads for his perch/”DJ booth” high above the dance floor. On the button of the song, ALICE points to RABBIT and “hands up”—he is caught, doll in hand. Applause.

ALICE

(to RABBIT)

Give. That. Back.

From behind ALICE and unnoticed, the CHILD takes the doll from RABBIT and runs offstage.

CHILD

(to RABBIT)

Oh! Thank you!

RABBIT begins to exit in the opposite direction. A door is revealed.

ALICE

Wait!! Chloe?? (to RABBIT)

Who was that? Where are you going? I have to get back upstairs to work and I need that doll!!! How do I even get out of here??

RABBIT

Try that door. Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction!! Gotta hop!

RABBIT exits.

ALICE

This is ridiculous!

#6—Drink Me

On the door is a riddle. She reads, echoed by mysterious voices in whispers played by ENSEMBLE—seen or unseen.

Ye golden house of life’s young spring, Of innocence, of love and truth

Bright, beyond all imagining,

Thou fairy-dream of youth.

(ALICE)

A WAITER dances on with a tray holding a VIAL with blue liquid. She takes the vial. He flips the tray to display directions on the underside of the tray. (reading)

Drink Me to solve the riddle and find the key… Hmm.

ALICE drinks. The door magically opens. While the ENSEMBLE sings, she steps inside. Within the chamber, ALICE’s shadow appears to shrink.

MYSTERIOUS VOICES

BOTTOMS UP— TAKE A DRINK, SWIM OR SINK ‘TIL YOU FIND YOURSELF

IT’S A DREAM— IF YOU BLINK IN A WINK YOU’LL AWAKE

ASK THE GIRL— TAKE A CHANCE, CIRCUMSTANCE WILL BE GOOD TO YOU MAKE A DOOR BIG ENOUGH TO WALK RIGHT THROUGH…

If onstage, MYSTERIOUS VOICES exit.

#7—Advice From a Caterpillar

ALICE emerges from the door to see a huge BUTTERFLY fly across the stage, revealing a place that feels mysterious and secret—lit with an unearthly glow. Through the haze, a CATERPILLAR emerges, surrounded by his fantastic LEGS.

Who are you?

I beg your pardon?

CATERPILLAR

ALICE

Who are you?

CATERPILLAR

ALICE

I’m Alice.

CATERPILLAR

Is that who you are, or just what people call you?

ALICE (confused by his question)

Maybe you can help me? I’m looking for a little girl—she’s holding a doll that is mine. I’m supposed to solve a riddle to get the key to the exit door… but I somehow got lost when I shrunk after I drank the potion… .

CATERPILLAR

Who are you??

ALICE

I just told you! Alice. My name is Alice. (annoyed)

Who are you?

CATERPILLAR

IDENTITY IS A TRICKY, TRICKY BUSINESS YOU THINK YOU’RE SOMEBODY ‘TIL SUDDENLY YOU’RE NOT YOU’RE NOT YOUR NAME, AND YOU’RE NOT YOUR ADDRESS CUZ THE YOU WHO YOU REMEMBER IS WHO YOU FORGOT

CATERPILLAR

HEED THIS ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR I KNOW A THING OR TWO OF METAMORPHOSIS

FOOLS’ PARADISE IS YOU STANDING STILLER WHILE THE RIVER RUSHIN’ ‘ROUND YOU IS THE THING YOU MISS

ALICE

THE WAY YOU TALK SOUNDS LIKE A FORTUNE COOKIE INSTEAD OF HOW THINGS REALLY ARE

CATERPILLAR

WELL PARDON ME, LET’S TAKE A LOOK AND SEE HOW THE YOU THAT YOU’VE BEEN WORKIN’ S’WORKIN’ OUT SO FAR

LIFE IS LIKE JAZZ, THINGS ARE ALWAYS CHANGIN’ JUST WHEN YOU LEARN THE TUNE IT’S TIME TO MODULATE

RAZZ-A-MATAZZ RIFFS ARE RE-ARRANGIN’ WHEN THE MELODY IS SIMPLE THEN DON’T COMPLICATE

HOO OOH

LEGS

SO TELL US WHO ARE YOU?

HOO

HA—AH AH

TELL US WHO ARE YOU?

SO TELL US WHO ARE YOU?

HOO OOH

ALWAYS CHANGIN’

SO TELL US WHO ARE YOU?

HA—AH

YOU BETTER SING IT IN TUNE SO WHO ARE YOU?

ALICE

IT SEEMS TO ME

YOU ONLY SPEAK IN RIDDLES AND NEVER ANSWER ME AT ALL

CATERPILLAR

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME FROM A DISTANCE YOU LOOK SMALLER BUT YOU’RE JUST AS TALL

SO WHO ARE YOU? I’LL REPEAT THE QUESTION

ARE YOU PREPARED TO TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE LOOKIN’ FOR?

YOU NEED A CLUE WELL THEN HERE’S MY SUGGESTION IF YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU THEN LOOK SOME MORE

(LEGS)

YOU?

TELL US TRUE!

SO WHO ARE YOU? YOU?

TELL US TRUE!

TELL US WHO ARE YOU?

TRUE!

SO WHO ARE YOU?

SO TELL US WHO YOU ARE!

TELL US WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR!

HOO

LOOK SOME MORE

A CATERPILLAR LEG (complimenting the CATERPILLAR)

Woo!

ALICE

I told you what I’m lookin’ for. It’s a simple question. Have you seen the girl?

CATERPILLAR

Whom you seek, you may find, holds the key to a back door, or could that be, a door to go back?

ALICE

Why can’t you answer me??

CATERPILLAR

“Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?”

I beg your pardon?

ALICE

CATERPILLAR

(explaining)

That’s the Riddle of the Ages… Solve that, and it may solve all your problems. Do you like riddles? Here’s another one.

LEGS

BE YOU EVER SO QUICK, WITH VISION KEEN BY YOUR EYES, WE ARE NEVER SEEN UNLESS PERCHANCE IT SHOULD COME TO PASS YOU SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN A LOOKING GLASS

ALICE

(with an attitude)

That’s a kid’s riddle. The answer is: Your own eyes, right? ‘Cause we never see ourselves—except in our reflection.

CATERPILLAR

Here, take these and call me in the morning.

ALICE

I think I’m going to cry…

CATERPILLAR

A few tears might just get you back to “normal”. But, be careful not to drown! The CATERPILLAR LEGS hand her hugely oversized eyeglasses.

ALICE

What am I supposed to do with these??

CATERPILLAR

TAKE A LOOK THROUGH THESE TRUST MY EXPERTISE

PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE

LEGS

TAKE A LOOK THROUGH THESE TRUST MY EXPERTISE

PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE

CATERPILLAR & LEGS

WILL YOU, WON’T YOU, WILL YOU, WON’T YOU WILL YOU JOIN THE DANCE?

WILL YOU, WON’T YOU, WILL YOU, WON’T YOU WON’T YOU JOIN THE DANCE?

CATERPILLAR

SEE WHAT ALICE ALL SEES

During the applause transition, ALICE has magically transformed to normal size again, and the CATERPILLAR and the LEGS have disappeared. The once oversized glasses have been swapped out, and now fit. SHE places the glasses on her eyes and suddenly a series of pathways become visible to her.

#7A—Pathways of Light

ALICE

Woooowwwww… a path… a lot of paths… but which way??

SHE makes a decision and starts to walk. (MUSIC shifts with each decision) As she travels, each pathway light goes out causing her to choose another route, eventually leaving only one that takes ALICE to discover a lever. SHE pulls on the lever handle to see what will happen. Suddenly there is a rush of water from all directions. To no avail, SHE replaces the lever quickly.

Oh dear…what did I just do??

#8—Go With the Flow

The sound of a WATERFALL is heard as billowing fog gathers onstage. We see a fanciful boat full of CATS riding on a wave of low lying fog.

EL GATO, CATS, & KITTENS (ad libs.)

Ay viene el gato góndola. Mi pana, el gato! Es seductor y misterioso. Ese gato es lo maximo!

EL GATO

Hola, mommy. Muy Guapa! Please allow me to introduce myself: El Gato, at your service.

ALICE

Where did you come from?—and what is all this water?

EL GATO

I believe I was born under a full moon after a very steamy tango. (The CATS giggle)

This water—it is a river of tears, collected from all the broken promises and regrets … and be careful—it seems to be rising…

ALICE

I’m going!

EL GATO

—Crazy? Yes, We’re all mad here. Who are you?

ALICE

Alice. My name is Alice. I’m looking for a little girl, a white Rabbit and a way OUT of here…

EL GATO

That Rabbit is always running after things he can’t catch. So. Describe this “missing child”…

ALICE

Well—she’s four foot eleven, about 80 pounds with blonde hair and she’s holding—

EL GATO

Wait a minute—

(HE gestures to stop the underscoring)

I’m talking about the light in her eyes and the dreams in her heart and the sound of her laugh. With your description, I’d probably bring back a Labrador.

Music resumes. EL GATO ignores her while he dances with a female CAT. ALICE tries to get a word in…

ALICE

Hey! So… Can you help me find her?! I don’t know where I’m going.

EL GATO

(stops mid-dance step)

If you don’t know where you’re going, then any road will take you there. What are those glasses you got? Let’s put ‘em on and see what happens!

The CATS play keep-away with her glasses. EL GATO sings. BIENVENIDOS TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD HANG SAY “BUENOS DIAS” TO THE REST OF THE GANG PULL UP A STOOP AND JUST RELAX FOR A WHILE EL GATO’S GONNA ‘SPLAIN THE FACTS FOR A WHILE LIFE’S UNPREDICTABLE—

ALICE

WHAT A NEWS FLASH!

I SEE YOU SEE HOW IT IS

EL GATO

THE BEST LAID PLAN OF THE MOUSE AND MAN IS TO IMPROVISE THE THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO GET USED TO LIFE ON THE BRINK

WAY OUT ON A LIMB YOU DON’T NEED TO THINK WHEN IT IS SINK OR SWIM

EL GATO

CATS

SEE HOW IT IS LIFE ON THE BRINK

OUT ON A LIMB DON’T NEED TO THINK WHEN IT IS SINK OR SWIM

EL GATO

NO HESITATING

NO SENSE WAITING WHY NOT JUMP RIGHT IN AND LET THE RIVER TAKE YOU WHERE YOU GO WITH THE FLOW

CATS GO WITH THE FLOW

EL GATO

El Gato believes that every day is lost in which we have not laughed at least once.

ALICE

I didn’t know cats could laugh.

EL GATO

You don’t know much, do you?

(HE stops the music / underscoring)

I need you to answer me a riddle: “Why is a Raven like a writing desk?”

All CATS lean toward ALICE.

I have no idea.

ALICE

EL GATO

Here’s a good one! “What is full all day and empty all night?”

ALICE

I saw that one on a popsicle stick… It’s SHOES, right?

EL GATO motions to 2 CATS who give her a pair of dance shoes. THEY put the shoes on ALICE’s feet and the shoes seem to force her to dance—which she tries desperately to resist.

These aren’t mine!

But, these are magic dancing shoes!

ALICE

EL GATO

ALICE

I quit taking dance classes when I was 10 and for good reason! Unable to resist the strength of the shoes, SHE dances with EL GATO.

EL GATO & CATS (TENORS & BASSES)

YOU USED TO BE THE BEST MUCHACHA THERE WAS BEFORE YOU GOT SO DAZZLED BY ALL THE BUZZ

IT’S MORE THAN ALICE THAT YOU GOTTA GO FIND IT’S PART OF YOU THAT SOMEHOW GOT LEFT BEHIND

EL GATO TURN UP THE MUSIC AND DANCE YOUR HEART OUT, LET NOTHING GET IN YOUR WAY

GET SOME AMIGOS AND PLAY YOUR PART OUT AND THEN LISTEN WHAT EL GATO SAYS TO YOU MY LITTLE ALICE BE WISE YOU LIVE ON THE LEDGE, YOU DON’T ANALYZE ABOUT THE CUTTING EDGE

SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR WHAT’S MISSIN’ ‘TIL YOU HEAR THE YOU YOU USED TO BE AND FINALLY YOU GO WITH THE FLOW

EL GATO / CATS (TENORS & BASSES)

YOU / DON’T FIGHT THE TIDE AND / THEN LET YOUR INTUITION BE YOUR GUIDE

CATS (SOPRANOS & ALTOS)

YOU GOTTA FIND HER

GOT LEFT BEHIND

CATS (SOP, ALTO, TEN, BASS)

OOH… BREAK FREE LISTEN TO EL GATO ALICE, BE WISE LIVE ON THE LEDGE SHH!

CATS (SOPRANOS & ALTOS) GO WITH THE FLOW OH LA LA OH LA LA

EL GATO

GET BACK YOUR GROOVE THEN THINGS IMPROVE WHEN YOU HAVE DECIDED TO STOP FIGHTING IT AND FINALLY YOU GO WITH THE FLOW

(EL GATO)

DON’T NEED A LESSON TO STOP YOUR STRESSIN’ DON’T NEED A P.H.D. FOR YOU TO HEAL IT YOU GOTTA FEEL IT GET IT TOGETHER AND THEN LET IT BE! PRRRROW!

CATS

HOO LA LA LA

DON’T NEED A PHD FOR YOU LA LA LA

LET IT BE

EL GATO plays an amazing guitar lick on an imaginary electric guitar, or, if the actor is a gifted musician, a real guitar.

EL GATO

It’s a (magic) guitar. 5—6—7—8!

(EL GATO)

TURN UP THE MUSIC AND DANCE YOUR HEART OUT, LET NOTHING GET IN YOUR WAY

GET SOME AMIGOS AND PLAY YOUR PART OUT AND THEN CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMPROVISE A TRANQUILIZER

GO WITH THE FLOW

YOU GO WITH THE FLOW

GET INTO GEAR

CATS

CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMRPROVISE!

OH LA LA / YOU USED TO BE THE BEST MUCHACHA THERE WAS

OH LA LA / BEFORE YOU GOT SO DAZZLED BY ALL THE BUZZ

IT’S MORE THAN ALICE THAT YOU GOTTA GO FIND

EL GATO & CATS

YOU MUST LEARN TO SEIZE OPPORTUNITIES THERE’S NO UNDERTOW GOING WITH THE—

EL GATO

FLOW YEAH!

Applause. EL GATO and the CATS begin to exit, but the shoes continue to force her to keep dancing against her will.

Wait—Which way should I go?

ALICE

(Calling out as he exits)

EL GATO

Trust the shoes, and they’ll take you where you want to go.

The GONDOLA is gone—and so are El GATO and his CATS. ALICE is alone but, driven by her shoes, she is forced to continue dancing, getting faster and faster—until she finally kicks the shoes off to make them stop.

#8A—Forest of Memories

SCENE 7: ALICE’S FOREST OF MEMORIES

ALICE sits on the edge of the stage for a moment of silence, and looks closely at the shoes, triggering memories from long ago.

NOTE: ALICE cannot ever see the CHILD—or any action upstage—this is happening in her mind.

Upstage, we see CAST MEMBERS enter and spread around the stage, holding childhood playthings, creating a “forest of memories.” … Then the CHILD dances on, unseen by ALICE. ALICE is reminded of things she had forgotten, pushed aside or generally dismissed as trivial. The CHILD dances through and around the objects… A pair of ice skates, a book, her first pair of dance shoes. ALICE remembers getting the doll “Dinah” from her grandmother as the doll is handed to the CHILD. The CHILD passes underneath a sparkling tiara, a favorite fancy dress, and a magic wand that makes her feel like a princess… SHE is followed by the UNICORN, a fantasy playmate. Chasing a BUTTERFLY, the CHILD and others dance or dissolve offstage. These memories bring back a flood of emotions for ALICE. Then…

SCENE 8: CLUB LIMBO / A FORMAL GARDEN

The RABBIT pops up, startling them both.

ALICE / RABBIT

Ahhh!

RABBIT starts to exit. ALICE grabs her shoes.

Not so fast, Rabbit!

ALICE

RABBIT

Listen, lady, I haven’t a moment to spare nor a minute to lose.

ALICE

Hang on just a second! You’re going to help me out of this! You stole my kid’s doll and then gave it to some little girl!!

RABBIT

Who are you?

Alice! I’m Alice!

(threatening him)

And I have a lot to do tonight…

ALICE

RABBIT

OOOoo—nice shoes! Well you are walking now, which is much better than falling or floating or flying, because at least now you have your feet on the ground.

ALICE

Listen!! Thanks to you, some girl has my kid’s doll!!! … Where is she??

ALICE sits to put on her shoes, accomplishing only one before she interrupts the RABBIT.

RABBIT

Cheese and Crackers! I don’t know!! All I know is that Wonderland is in chaos, the Mad Hatter is M.A.D. mad, and the Queen is getting ready to lop off heads left and right and wrong. And now, I’m late!! Oh won’t she be savage if I’ve kept her waiting! I am as done as done. Finished, kaput, ended, over.

ALICE

You!? I’ve just fallen and flown, and grown and shrunk and drunk blue ink and exhausted myself with these shoes, not to mention the secondhand smoke, and I am lost! I don’t know where I am or where I’m going, and I am super sorry to hear about your Wonderland woes, but it’s not pleasant to be given the runaround by a rabbit!! So focus!

(ALICE whacks RABBIT on the arm with one of her shoes.)

The girl! Where is she??

ALICE puts her other shoe on, commanding control over them with a threatening gesture.

RABBIT

I don’t know. Consider anything, but don’t hit me!!

(HE looks at his watch.)

Fibberty mackanoonis! It’s almost tea time.

#8B—The Magic Watch

(RABBIT)

Well, no wonder I’m always late. This thing is running backwards. If it gets to where we started before this is over it will be the death of us all!

RABBIT gives her the watch.

Here, you could probably use a backwards-running watch more than I could. That way you can get there before you leave.

ALICE

That doesn’t make any sense.

RABBIT

In either case, the watch may come in handy… trust me.

ALICE

(holding the watch)

It’s ticking, but it only has one hand—

RABBIT

We always seem to live at the last minute. Perfect for you.

Fanfare Music

(RABBIT)

Hey! Here comes your White Knight! I’d know that fanfare anywhere!

ALICE

My WHAT??

RABBIT

Shut up. You know you love him. He’s an honest-to-goodness hero! Here’s a ticket to get in to see him.

(HE gives her a ticket.)

ALICE

Wait—It’s LATE! I don’t have the time to—!

RABBIT

Tickets, please.

HE takes the ticket from her.

Walk this way.

With an over-the-top entrance, THE WHITE KNIGHT is accompanied by four fellow KNIGHTS.

WHITE KNIGHT

It is I, The greatest Knight in all the land.

The cleverest, most inventive, most intuitive, bravest— (to his fellow KNIGHTS)

Did I say cleverest? (to ALICE)

Who are you?

I’m Alice!

ALICE

WHITE KNIGHT

At your service, Lady Alice. I will not fail you in your quest.

ALICE

My quest? Do you know where the little girl is?

WHITE KNIGHT

Is she your quest?

ALICE

OK, fine. I’ll play along: Yes, she is my “quest.”

WHITE KNIGHT

You’ll need a hero? Of course you will! Say it!

ALICE

Oh, really. (with gritted teeth)

“Will you please—help me.”

And—?

“And—be my… ”

WHITE KNIGHT

ALICE

A KNIGHT

(feeding her the right word by whispering) Hero.

ALICE

Hero?? Ick.

#9—One Knight

—Music cue happens when she says “Hero.” The WHITE KNIGHT and his KNIGHTS burst into 90’s Boy Band cool moves, excited to go into their act.

WHITE KNIGHT

I will. No matter what perils we meet. No matter what obstacles we encounter. No matter what.

WHITE KNIGHT

GIVE ME A DRAGON I CAN SLAY

JUST SAY THE WORD AND I’LL OBEY SHOW ME A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS AND I’LL SAVE HER

IF THERE’S A MISSION, I’M YOUR MAN THROW IN A LADY IF YOU CAN THOUGH I AM NOT LANCELOT I’LL BE BRAVER

I’LL RUSH IN TO SAVE THE DAY IT’LL LOOK GOOD ON MY RESUME

(presenting his resume to ALICE) RESUME.

WHITE KNIGHT

I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE TAKE HOME PAY I JUST WANNA BE

I WANNA BE YOUR ONE KNIGHT WHO’LL FIGHT AND BE YOUR WONDERLAND GUIDE ONE KNIGHT IN SIGHT WHO HAS BEEN BOARD CERTIFIED YOU’LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER ONE LIKE ME AND EVEN IF YOU EVER DO

KNIGHTS

OOH

OOH STRESS AND I’LL SAVE HER OOH OOH LOT I’LL BE BRAVER

I’LL SAVE THE DAY RESUME

SOLO KNIGHT

KNIGHTS

TAKE HOME PAY I JUST WANNA BE

I WANNA BE YOUR ONE KNIGHT WHO’LL FIGHT GUIDE ONE KNIGHT IN SIGHT FRIED IF YOU EVER DO

(WHITE KNIGHT)

SHOW ME ONE KNIGHT WHO WILL BE HALF AS TRUE

NO MATTER WHERE YOU WANNA GO I’LL TAKE YOU THERE BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE RULES OF CHIVALRY AREN’T QUITE DEAD YET

SO YOU JUST STICK AROUND WITH ME I PROMISE YOU YOU’RE GONNA SEE A HAPPY ENDING RIDING INTO THE SUNSET

WHEN THERE IS A REAL CLOSE CALL YOU NEED SHINING ARMOR WALL TO WALL

(KNIGHTS)

SHOW ME ONE KNIGHT WHO WILL BE HALF AS TRUE

OOH

AREN’T QUITE DEAD YET

OOH OOH

INTO THE SUNSET

AHH REAL CLOSE CALL WALL TO WALL

SOLO KNIGHT WALL TO WALL.

WHITE KNIGHT

AND A KNIGHT LIKE ME ‘CAUSE AFTER ALL I JUST WANNA BE…

I WANNA BE YOUR ONE KNIGHT

STAGE RIGHT

WHO NEVER MISSES HIS CUE

ONE KNIGHT WHO’LL SMITE

WHATEVER COMES AFTER YOU

AFTER ALL

KNIGHTS

I JUST WANNA BE I WANNA BE YOUR ONE KNIGHT

STAGE RIGHT CUE ONE KNIGHT

WHO’LL SMITE YOU

(WHITE KNIGHT)

A KNIGHT WHO WHEN YOU ASK WILL ALWAYS SAY:

YOUR EVERY WISH IS MY COMMAND I’M THE ONE KNIGHT FOR ALICE IN WONDERLAND

(WHITE KNIGHT)

PLEASE JUST GIVE ME HALF A CHANCE

I’M AN OUTSOURCED KNIGHT SO I WORK FREELANCE

I DON’T EVEN NEED A REAL BIG ADVANCE JUST A KISS WILL DO

(KNIGHTS)

IS MY COMMAND

I’M THE ONE KNIGHT ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PREPPY KNIGHT

PLEASE JUST GIVE ME HALF A CHANCE

ROCKER KNIGHT

I’M AN OUTSOURCED KNIGHT SO I WORK FREELANCE

ARTSY KNIGHT

I DON’T NEED A REAL BIG ADVANCE

WHITE KNIGHT & KNIGHTS

IF I CAN BE YOUR Screaming FANS rush toward the KNIGHTS.

WHITE KNIGHT

ONE KNIGHT

ALRIGHT

TECHNIC‘LLY TWO CREDITS SHY…

ONE KNIGHT

BRIGHT WHITE BUT STILL A REGULAR GUY

(KNIGHTS)

HALF A CHANCE

WORK FREELANCE JUST A KISS WILL DO

KNIGHTS

ONE ONE KNIGHT

ALRIGHT SHY ONE KNIGHT

BRIGHT WHITE GUY

WHITE KNIGHT

A KNIGHT WHO, WHEN YOU ASK WILL ALWAYS SAY:

YOUR EVERY WISH IS MY COMMAND

I’M THE ONE KNIGHT FOR THIS ENDEAVOR

ONE KNIGHT NOW AND FOREVER THE ONE KNIGHT FOR ALICE IN WONDERLAND

OOH WHOA

KNIGHTS

ONE KNIGHT OOH

ONE KNIGHT WHOA OH

ONE KNIGHT WONDERLAND ALL

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Applause. The KNIGHTS are chased offstage by screaming FANS. The WHITE KNIGHT produces an All-Access Pass and hands it to ALICE.

RABBIT

(intercepting)

Pigs and Pepper! This is an honest-to-goodness All-Access Backstage Pass. I mean!

WHITE KNIGHT

You know, you can go anywhere with this. And I do mean, anywhere.

RABBIT

Yes! It’s A-list Private Super-Secret Hush-Hush Exclusive.

WHITE KNIGHT

That’s right! It’ll even get you into the Tea Party.

ALICE

What?

The Mad Tea Party. They run offstage.

WHITE KNIGHT & RABBIT

#10—The Mad Tea Party

LIGHTS change abruptly. The ENSEMBLE runs on, carrying their chairs and “tea cups” in hand. A huge table is set by the WAITERS.

ENSEMBLE

HELLO, GOODBYE

LET’S SEE IF PIGS CAN REALLY FLY

YOU KNOW, THE TEA IS ALL THE WAY FROM INDIA, YOU SEE, AND THOUGH THAT ISN’T NEAR IT TASTES AS IF WE GREW IT HERE

LOW TEA, HIGH TEA DRINK YOUR OWN BUT DON’T DRINK MY TEA

IF THERE’S TEA, WELL, THEN IT MUST BE SUMMERTIME IN THE LATE AFTERNOON HA HA HA HA!

MAKE A POT EVEN IF IT’S NOT IT’LL BE TIME FOR TEA PRETTY SOON

WHITE KNIGHT, ALICE and RABBIT arrive at the Tea Party, meeting MORRIS, who wears dark glasses and acts as a bouncer behind a velvet rope.

WHITE KNIGHT

Morris! May I present Lady Alice. Show him the Pass.

MORRIS checks out ALICE and her All-Access Pass.

ALICE

You can stop calling me Lady. The name is Alice.

WHITE KNIGHT

As you wish. “Alice!”

MORRIS

Alice… The Mad Hatter is due any minute. Are you sure you want to stay?

Of course she does!

WHITE KNIGHT

MORRIS

Goody.

ALL move toward the table to put their chairs in place.

ENSEMBLE

LOW TEA, HIGH TEA DRINK YOUR OWN BUT DON’T DRINK MY TEA

IF THERE’S TEA, WELL, THEN IT MUST BE SUMMERTIME IN THE LATE AFTERNOON MAKE A POT, EVEN IF IT’S NOT IT’LL BE TIME FOR TEA PRETTY SOON! EVERYONE sits down on the button.

ALICE

I see everyone has a chair… except me. MORRIS spins around in a large, rolling office desk chair.

MORRIS

You sit here.

(HE hands her a teacup.)

Tea?

(Signaling to the band)

Hit it!

The MAD HATTER appears, making a spectacular entrance. SHE (for she is indeed a “She”) is herself a work of Art. The WAITERS serve as her backup dancers while the ENSEMBLE becomes intoxicated by her essence.

HATTER

WELL, HELLO THERE IT’S ME BEARING CRUMPETS AND TEA AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU MAY NEED FOR ALTHOUGH, I MIGHT ADD YOU ALL KNOW I’M QUITE MAD THERE’S AN APPETITE THAT I FEED

YOUR WORST CIRCUMSTANCE AND YOUR LAST BEST CHANCE SO TURN UP THE MUSIC AND DANCE

CHECK OUT THE HAT … ‘CAUSE, BABY, I’M WHERE IT’S AT

I’M WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR WHISPERED INTO YOUR EAR WHEN YOU JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

I’M YOUR SPARK IN THE NIGHT I’M THE FEELING YOU’RE RIGHT I’M THE REASON YOU RUN AWAY

I’M THE GAME YOU TRY TO CHEAT WORDS YOU ALWAYS EAT PEOPLE LET ME REPEAT CHECK OUT THE HAT ‘CAUSE, BABY, I’M WHERE IT’S AT

I’M THE MAD HATTER WACKY AS A HATTER SHOULD BE THE MAD HATTER AIN’T NOBODY CRAZY AS ME

THERE MAY BE COPY CATS WEARING GREAT BIG HATS

(HATTER)

BUT AN IMITATION, YOU SEE? AIN’T GONNA BE THE SAME AS LITTLE OL’ ME

ALICE

That’s the Mad Hatter?!

WHITE KNIGHT Yes.

ALICE

She’s a She!

Yes. Is that strange?

WHITE KNIGHT

ALICE

No. Cool.

HATTER

I’M THE THING THAT YOU CRAVE FROM THE CRADLE TO GRAVE I’M TOO MUCH AND NOT QUITE ENOUGH

I’M YOUR SUGAR AND SPICE I’M YOUR NAUGHTY AND NICE

I’M THE WRONG ONE WITH THE RIGHT STUFF

I’M THE FULL ON SPEED OF LIGHT STICK OF DYNAMITE URGE YOU SIMPLY CAN’T FIGHT

EDGE OF THE KNIFE THAT MAKES YOU RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

I’M THE MAD HATTER

ENSEMBLE

SHE’S THE THING YOU CRAVE FROM THE CRADLE TO GRAVE

NOT QUITE ENOUGH! SHE’S YOUR SUGAR HER SPICE IS NICE SO RIGHT!

FULL ON STICK OF PLAY WITH DYNAMITE

YOU BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

THE MAD HATTER, THE MAD HATTER!

(HATTER)

DAPPER AS A HATTER SHOULD BE

THE MAD HATTER

AIN’T NOBODY SNAPPIER, SEE?

I’VE GOT A PALACE COUP ALL LINED UP FOR YOU SO GET READY FOR MY NEW REGIME

I’VE GOT A SCHEME

FOR WHEN I’M REIGNING SUPREME

YOU WON’T NEED TO DREAM AT ALL

LIVIN’ LARGE AND THINKIN’ SMALL

THINGS WILL BE—

LIKE THEY SHOULD

THERE’LL BE WAY MORE COPS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, UNDERSTOOD?

DON’T BE AFRAID IT’S ALL GOOD!

I’M THE MAD HATTER NEVER GET A HANDLE ON ME

(ENSEMBLE)

SO CRAZY

THE MAD HATTER, SNAPPER, DAPPER! SHE’S SO SNAPPY SEE YA!

MORRIS & ENSEMBLE

LOOK OUT!

ENSEMBLE

EYE ON THE QUEEN

THE MAD HATTER

CRAZIER THAN I OUGHTA BE DON’T BE AFRAID MY FRIEND

BECAUSE IN THE END YOU CAN BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE

WILL BE SO GOOD WAY MORE COPS IN THE HOOD

SHE’S HERE—LOOK OUT! OH FRABJOUS DAY CALOO CALAY

THE MAD HATTER, THE MAD HATTER, HOORAY!

UH UH UH

THE MAD HATTER, THE MAD HATTER SO CRAZED YOU SEE ‘FRAID MY FRIEND IN THE END

ALL THAT YOU CAN BE

HATTER

HAPPY AND FREE

ONCE YOU SURRENDER TO ME I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA AGREE ONCE YOU SURRENDER TO ME COME ON, SURRENDER TO ME!

Applause. HATTER addresses ALICE.

I haven’t had the pleasure.

Alice. My name is Alice.

Alice. Have some champagne.

I don’t see any champagne.

There isn’t any.

ALICE

HATTER

ALICE

HATTER

ALICE

Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it.

HATTER

It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down at my tea party before you were invited. What’s with your hair?

ALICE

You’re very rude!

“Why is a Raven like a writing desk?”

HATTER

ALICE

If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.

MORRIS

Do you mean you’ve solved the riddle?

You should say what you mean.

HATTER

ALICE

I do. At least I mean what I say. It’s the same thing.

MORRIS

It isn’t the same thing. You might as well say “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing as “I sleep when I breathe!”

HATTER

(back to ALICE)

You might as well say: “I want what I get”—is the same thing as I… Get… What… I… Want… !

HATTER produces a flower casting a spell over the ENSEMBLE.

As she hands it to ALICE, the flower withers in her grasp.

#11A—More Mad Tea Party

A weird waltz begins. The ENSEMBLE has a stylized conversation amongst themselves, not privy to the HATTER’s dialogue with ALICE.

HATTER

It’s a shame they have to fade so soon, isn’t it?

ALICE

What?

HATTER

The flowers, Alice. The flowers. Pay attention. I was saying, it’s a shame that such a beautiful something has to wither—Where does the time go?

ALICE

Have we met before?

HATTER

I see you get to sit in the Big Chair.

ALICE

I do?

HATTER

That’s because you’re the Guest, and you’re…

MORRIS

The Game!!

ALICE A game??

MORRIS

Here’s the Game! Everyone has to write on a slip of paper the thing that bothers them most about Alice and then we’ll put the slips into the Hat.

ALICE

What?! Who is making up these rules?

MORRIS

The Hat. And then we’ll draw the slips out one by one and read them all aloud.

ALICE

WHAT?!

MORRIS

Relax, it’ll be fun. Everybody!

WAITERS hand out slips of paper and short pencils to the ENSEMBLE, who write on the slips while they sing, like a timed test.

MORRIS & ALL OH GOOD, A GAME, LET’S PLAY AND SEE WHO WE CAN BLAME FOR ALL THE THINGS WE HATE ABOUT OURSELVES AND SAY IT’S HER THE BLONDIE WHAT’S HER NAME?

I MEAN THE ONE WE’VE GOTTA FRAME!

(MORRIS & ALL)

LOW TEA, HIGH TEA DRINK YOUR OWN BUT DON’T DRINK MY TEA

IF THERE’S TEA, WELL, THEN IT MUST BE SUMMERTIME IN THE LATE AFTERNOON MAKE A POT, EVEN IF IT’S NOT IT’LL BE TIME FOR TEA PRETTY SOON

ALL raise their slips of paper up on the button. WAITERS gather the slips into the hat, then hand the hat to MORRIS.

Hey!

Can I have more than one card?

ALICE

WHITE KNIGHT

This is absolutely childish!

ALICE

MORRIS

Here… we… go!

The entire ENSEMBLE rushes around MORRIS. HE plucks slips of paper from the hat and reads them.

MORRIS

“She’s selfish,” “She’s willful.” “She’s envious—”

ALICE

What?! Of who?

MORRIS

Of Whom. “She has lousy handwriting,” “She can’t tell her friends from her enemies,” “She talks before she thinks… ”

ALICE

What kind of game is this?

MORRIS

“She can’t see a second chance when it’s staring her in the face.”

WHITE KNIGHT

That’s one of mine!

MORRIS

“She thinks she deserves to make the rules.”

ALICE

Who wrote that?!

MORRIS

The Hat. “She won’t dance, don’t ask her.”

EL GATO

That’s me.

MORRIS

“She feels sorry for herself,” “She wants everyone else to feel sorry for her… ”

ALICE

I’m warning you.

MORRIS

“She’s stuck up, self-absorbed, self-regarding, self-involved, self-deluded, self-obsessed, self-forgiving, whiney, piney, mopey, dopey, rude when she’s in a hurry—”

RABBIT

That’s mine!

MORRIS

Rude when she’s not in a hurry—

WHITE KNIGHT / RABBIT / KNIGHTS

Bingo!

Sets off a fun little dance for the ENSEMBLE underscoring the following, but eventually aggressively getting closer and closer to ALICE.

MORRIS

Rude all the rest of the time—Lazy, crazy, super-hazy, doesn’t look both ways, doesn’t look either way, doesn’t look period. Doesn’t see, doesn’t hear, doesn’t help, doesn’t wait, doesn’t listen, doesn’t talk, doesn’t speak when spoken to, doesn’t play well with others, doesn’t like others, doesn’t like herself, doesn’t know why she’s here, doesn’t like the game, doesn’t get the game, doesn’t play the game, doesn’t play well with others—

A fountain of cards attacks ALICE from out of the Hat.

ALICE yells with a strong gesture.

Stop!!

#11B—The Queen Is Coming

ALICE

Suddenly THE QUEEN’S FANFARE is heard in the distance. HATTER’s spell is broken. The ENSEMBLE appears momentarily disoriented.

WHITE KNIGHT

Okay… Everyone needs to back off from Alice, and right now!

CATERPILLAR & EL GATO

Yeah… What he said.

Another FANFARE, as if closer.

What’s going on!

HATTER

MORRIS

The Queen is coming!

HATTER

She is always interrupting me! Quick—get the proposals ready!!

Another FANFARE, getting yet closer.

RABBIT

Cringe on a creamsicle! The Queen is coming.

ALICE

Can she help me get out of here?

RABBIT

We can ask—with a proper proposal, but do NOT speak to her! She probably won’t speak to you—but if she does , you must AGREE with everything she says!

ALICE

Well—

Agree with everything! Got that?

RABBIT

Signaling for a Drumroll, MORRIS announces the QUEEN’s arrival.

MORRIS

May I present Her Majesty, Ruler of Wonderland, last week’s winner, our returning champion, Keeper of the flame, the Evening’s Final Award—Please welcome to the Tea Party—the President of the Foundation, the Chairman of the Board,—Her Royal Fearsomeness, The Queen of Hearts.

LADIES IN WAITING

AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH

ENSEMBLE

HAIL THE QUEEN

MOST SERENE

WHO’S A FEW JOKERS SHORT OF A DECK

LADIES IN WAITING

AH AH AH AH AH

AH AH AH AH AH AH

ALL

HAIL THE QUEEN, MOST SERENE OR YOU’LL LOSE WHAT’S ON TOP OF YOUR…

#12—Hail the Queen

(ALL) NECK!

The QUEEN OF HEARTS arrives amidst cheers and applause.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

THE FIRST OF MY AMENDMENTS SAYS THAT EVERYONE MUST BE MUCH SHORTER THAN THEY ARE IF THEY’RE AS TALL AS ME AND I HEREBY DECREE IT’S ALWAYS YESTERDAY TODAY TO MAKE TOMORROW MORE THAN JUST A DAY AWAY FOR IN WONDERLAND, WHAT I SAY GOES AND… I WILL BROOK NO INTERFERENCE

ENSEMBLE

FOR IN WONDERLAND, WHAT SHE SAYS GOES ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!

QUEEN OF HEARTS

AND FRIDAY SHALL BE WEDNESDAY IN EACH MONTH THAT ENDS IN “R” AND OBJECTS THAT ARE NEARER WILL SEEM TWICE AS FAR

AND ALL A WRITER’S SENTENCES WILL END WHEN THEY BEGIN BY MAKING TENSES SUIT WHATEVER MOOD I’M IN FOR IN WONDERLAND WE UNDERSTAND AND WILL NOT TOLERATE CONFUSION

ENSEMBLE FOR IN WONDERLAND WE UNDERSTAND ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!

WHITE KNIGHT YOUR MAJESTY IS RIGHT, OF COURSE

QUEEN OF HEARTS

OF COURSE I AM, I AM THE SOURCE AND WILL NOT SUFFER THOSE WHO DISAGREE

TWEEDLEDUM & TWEEDLEDEE LIKE TWEEDLE-DUM AND TWEEDLE-DEE WE ALL HEARTILY AGREE ALL YOUR HIGHNESS

ALICE

I TOO, AGREE, YOUR MAJESTY, I DO AGREE, I DO AGREE

QUEEN OF HEARTS

WITH ME?

I SEE, THEN YOU SHALL BE… LET’S SEE… ?

RABBIT

PERHAPS AMBASSADOR AT LARGE?

WHITE KNIGHT

AGREEING TO AGREE THAT SHE’S AGREEING

QUEEN OF HEARTS

FOR IN WONDERLAND I MAKE THE RULES AND I CAN CHANGE THEM WHEN I WANT TO

ENSEMBLE

YES IN WONDERLAND SHE MAKES THE RULES ALL HAIL THE—

The QUEEN keeps holding her final note, forcing the ENSEMBLE to restart the final sung chord repeatedly.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

MEEEEEE… !

ENSEMBLE

QUEEN! QUEEN! QUEEN!

RABBIT

(cueing the QUEEN)

Now to the business at hand.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

“Now to the business at hand”…

(To RABBIT)

What do I do?

RABBIT hands the QUEEN a large prompt card.

RABBIT

Read the card.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

This card?

(reading)

“It is my royal pleasure to congratulate this afternoon’s subject of the Game at the Tea Party—Miss—”… what is your name?

ALICE

Alice, so please Your Majesty. Alice Cornwinkle.

An earthquake begins rumbling. EVERYONE shakes.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Interesting. It would appear your presence in Wonderland is extremely unsettling…

RABBIT

Harken ye, for the Queen’s decisions! Present your proposals!

HATTER gestures to MORRIS who hands RABBIT three proposal cards.

HATTER

Your Fearsomeness. I present three proposals which require Your Majesty’s most ever kind and heartfelt approval.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Oh Hatter—there you are… I hadn’t noticed you. Proceed.

RABBIT

In the case of the Hatter’s proposal to slightly change the name of “Club Wonderland” to “The Hatter-Land Disco and Sequin Hat Emporium”—

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Denied.

Objection!

Objection overruled.

HATTER

QUEEN OF HEARTS

RABBIT

Objection overruled.

(changing to the second card)

In the case of the Hatter’s proposal to fine and ticket anyone not wearing a hat to the Tea Party.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

De—nied.

Objection!

Objection overruled.

HATTER

QUEEN OF HEARTS

RABBIT

Objection Overruled!

(shifting to the third card)

In the case of the HATTER’S Amendment…

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Amendment “Whatever-it-is,” De—nied. No Objections!

RABBIT

Amendment “Whatever-it-is” De—nied. No Objections!

ALICE hands RABBIT a card.

There is one last proposal. (HE reads)

Your Majestic Highness, in the case of Miss Alice’s request to leave Wonderland…

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Leave Wonderland? That is completely against the rules!! Who has made this proposal??

ALICE

I have, Your Majesty.

(reminding her of her name) Alice. Alice Cornwinkle.

Another earthquake rumbling. EVERYONE shakes.

(ALICE)

(an aside to RABBIT)

What on earth is going on here?!

“Girlfriend-to-girlfriend,” ALICE addresses the QUEEN.

Your Majesty, it’s really awesome here, however, I have a huge deadline at work and totally have to leave… but, before I go, I need to find a little girl who is lost—well, actually, I don’t even care about finding the lost kid, I just need something she stole. Anyway, I was thinking, maybe, I could “bend” the rules…

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Miss CornSprinkle! Have you lost your mind??? No one is allowed to “bend,” “skew,” or otherwise manipulate the rules except the Queen, and to be made Queen, you would need to win games at Squared Court by conquering the Eighth Square.

ALICE tries to interject but the WHITE KNIGHT stops her.

(QUEEN OF HEARTS)

Furthermore, your disregard for the value of someone that is lost will never be tolerated, and I dare say, that little lost child must be quite a treasure BECAUSE she is lost!

(A declaration)

There will be no more proposals from ANYONE until that which is lost, is found!!!

(gavel)

“That which is lost, must be found!”

RABBIT

HATTER & ALICE

Objection!! Objection!!

The QUEEN bangs the gavel repeatedly as chaos descends.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Enough badgering!! All proposals denied and objections overruled!! I leave you the next 24 hours to find that little lost treasure girl, or I’ll have you executed, all round. Court adjourned!

(gavel)

RABBIT

Court is adjourned!

HATTER bows and retreats to her place with MORRIS.

Then, as a 180 degree turn, in Hollywood regal-style, QUEEN presides…

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Thank you all my lovely, lovely people! I love you so much. You are the wind beneath my wings.

#12A—Unhail the Queen

The QUEEN and ENTOURAGE begin their exit in slow motion during the following aside:

HATTER

I am sick of being bossed around by that vapid queen. Let’s get on with the stupid treasure hunt and find that kid—and why she is “so important”—before anyone else. Come on, Morris.

HATTER and MORRIS exit. ENSEMBLE and QUEEN resume in real time.

ENSEMBLE

SO ENDS THE RULES FOR TODAY NOW THE QUEEN IS GOING AWAY NOW THERE’S NOTHING LEFT BUT TO SAY NOW:

LADIES

IN WAITING NOW WE ARE LEAVING NOW WE ARE GOING HA HA HA HA HA HA NOW WE ARE LEAVING NOW WE ARE GOING NOW WE ARE GOING GONE!

The QUEEN and her ENTOURAGE are gone. EVERYONE relaxes. WAITERS begin to partially dismantle the party, but leaving chairs and tables in a chaotic mess. All CHARACTERS stay and ultimately overhear the argument, taking sides between WHITE KNIGHT and ALICE.

SCENE

ALICE

Great!! Well, you heard the Queen: “What is lost must be found.”

WHITE KNIGHT

Right—Which way should we go?

You’re the “hero.”

ALICE

WHITE KNIGHT

Hey, no need to get all… (he gestures)

I’m just trying to help here. I thought we were in this together?

ALICE

Together? Right… in your dreams. What kind of a White Knight are you?

WHITE KNIGHT

Fine, then YOU try being the hero!

ALICE

I could certainly do a better job leading this quest than some testosterone-driven, narcissistic group of men.

CATERPILLAR

If you’re so “all-mighty,” Lady Alice, then why do you damsels always find yourself in distress?

EL GATO

You are very perceptive, for an insect.

ALICE

The reason why “we Damsels” always find ourselves in distress, Professor Stink Bug, is because we have to do everything: have a career, be a mom, a wife, cook, clean, do laundry, watch our figure—

WHITE KNIGHT

Oh I’ll watch your figure for you.

ALICE throws the liquid from a drink onto WHITE KNIGHT. ALL react.

(WHITE KNIGHT)

Now, Now, Now—no need to get all testy, little lady. I am certain the road to follow is this way. ALICE

Excellent! I’ll go that way.

#13A—Hatter Meets Child

ALICE and WHITE KNIGHT exit in OPPOSITE directions. Onstage cast separates and exits in “teams”: half following WHITE KNIGHT, half following ALICE, leaving the mess onstage from the Tea Party.

SCENE 10—HATTER MEETS THE CHILD

Just as EVERYONE has exited, the CHILD appears and surveys the aftermath of the Tea Party. She sits DINAH in a chair, and begins to set up for a mini tea party.

CHILD

Let’s pretend, Dinah! You sit here. Now, for a proper tea, we’ll need a tablecloth…

The GIRL looks around for a suitable tablecloth. She pulls a cloth draped over a chair, revealing HATTER and MORRIS. The CHILD screams.

Whoa!! I’m afraid you startled me.

HATTER

I get that a lot.

CHILD

Hello. My name is Alice. Alice Cornwinkle.

SQ—Earthquake

They ALL shake.

HATTER

Mmmm… Is that so… another Alice Cor… Strange… (shooting a look to MORRIS)

… So lovely to meet you, Young Alice. May we join you for your tea party?

YOUNG ALICE

Yes, of course. I will set a place for you!

YOUNG ALICE sets two chairs at the small table. HATTER pulls MORRIS aside.

MORRIS

You have a plan?

HATTER

Morris, I think we just found bait for a “Queen-sized” trap… (to YOUNG ALICE)

How did you get here all alone? Lost? Abandoned? Forsaken? Rejected? Neglected? Deserted? Ditched? Dumped?

Who are you?

YOUNG ALICE

HATTER

Do you mean “what’s my name?” Or “who am I?”

YOUNG ALICE

Who are you, I suppose?

HATTER

I am someone who can take you to a magical world far away, where anything you can imagine, can come true.

YOUNG ALICE

That sounds simply wonderful! I love to play pretend! You see Dinah, imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.

HATTER

Ooo. Clever. Would you like to take a little walk?

(HATTER)

A NICE LITTLE WALK WHILE I CLARIFY

THE WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN AND WHY OF YOUR PECULIAR CONNECTION TO ALICE’S IMPERFECTION

MORRIS

A NICE LITTLE WALK UNDER THE FAM’LY TREE

HATTER

SHADY ENOUGH TO SEE YOU’RE ALMOST LIKE ME TAKE IT FROM ME, SEE… MEMORY HANGS BY A SLENDER THREAD SNIP! SNIP! YOU’LL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID

#14—A Nice Little Walk

MORRIS

A NICE LITTLE WALK WANDERING WONDERLAND

HATTER

HAPPILY HAND IN HAND ENTRE NOUS

MORRIS SKIES OF BLUE…

HATTER & MORRIS

ME AND YOU…

HATTER

How would you like to go to an Un-Birthday Party, my dear?

YOUNG ALICE

What is that?

HATTER

It’s a party that’s given to you when it’s not your birthday.

YOUNG ALICE

Yes! Thank you! That’s much better than a birthday. There’s only one birthday and 364 un-birthdays.

HATTER

Come with us! There are hats and balloons and we play lots of fun games. Morris, show her the plans.

MORRIS pulls out a rolled-up map.

MORRIS

Here they are… Plans for the New Order!

HATTER

YES! Behold Hatterland! A Utopia on the other side of the Looking Glass.

YOUNG ALICE

Is that where the party’s gonna be?

Why… yes….

HATTER

YOUNG ALICE

Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go, Dinah!!

HATTER motions YOUNG ALICE to follow her—and YOUNG ALICE, fascinated by her new friends, obeys.

HATTER & MORRIS

TAKE IT FROM ME, SEE…

HATTER

MEMORY HANGS BY A SLENDER THREAD

HATTER & MORRIS

SNIP! SNIPPITY, SNIP, SNIP, SNIP!—

HATTER

YOU’LL FORGET ALL I SAID

MORRIS

(loving it)

YOU’LL FORGET LIKE YOU’RE DEAD

Hearing this makes YOUNG ALICE afraid and nervous. Diffusing her fears, HATTER gently continues the song.

HATTER

A NICE LITTLE WALK TALKING OF MANY THINGS

YOUNG ALICE

(an idea)

CABBAGES, QUEENS, AND KINGS

HATTER & MORRIS

QUEENS AND KINGS

STRIDE FOR STRIDE

STARRY EYED

YOUNG ALICE

HATTER & MORRIS

YOUNG ALICE

OOH, SO STARRY EYED

HATTER, MORRIS, & YOUNG ALICE

SIDE BY SIDE

THEY disappear into the distance.

#14A—Back Where We Started

WHITE KNIGHT and ALICE enter from opposite directions, back to the mess left from the Tea Party.

ALICE

Here we are right back where we started. I guess neither one of us was right.

WHITE KNIGHT

Not necessarily. It seems to me that if we retrace our steps we’ll discover where we went wrong.

ALICE

That’s ridiculous. If we retrace our steps we’ll only take the same wrong turns we did in the first place.

SHE pulls out the watch after finding it in her pocket and starts examining it.

WHITE KNIGHT

Well, I’m your White Knight and I know what’s best.

ALICE

Well, I’m not calling you my White Knight.

WHITE KNIGHT

I used to be the Jack of Hearts. So I suppose you could call me Jack.

ALICE

Yes, well, I know a Jack and he’s nothing like you.

WHITE KNIGHT

Good, then you won’t get us confused.

ALICE

Why does this watch sound like it’s ticking, yet it doesn’t ever move?

SHE turns the stem of the watch. (SQ winding watch) Things start going backwards, then begin again in an exact repeat of lines and behavior before.

WHITE KNIGHT

“I used to be the Jack of Hearts. So I suppose you could call me Jack.”

ALICE

“Yes, well, I know a Jack and he‘s nothing like you.”

WHITE KNIGHT

“Good, then you won’t get us confused.”

SQ—Real time resumes.

ALICE

Time goes backwards! Interesting. That’s quite a little invention the Rabbit gave me, this watch. Something like this could solve all my problems—

SHE starts to turn it again, but the entrance of RABBIT, EL GATO and CATERPILLAR interrupts her. THEY are frantic, and the RABBIT can barely speak.

There they are!

Tell them!

Tell us what?

Go ahead!

I can’t!

Tell us!

You have to.

WHAT WHAT WHAT!

CATERPILLAR

EL GATO

ALICE

EL GATO

RABBIT

WHITE KNIGHT

CATERPILLAR

ALICE

RABBIT freezes.

CATERPILLAR

Oh, man. Don’t shout at him. This is what happens when he’s terrified.

EL GATO

He freezes up.

ALICE tries to unfreeze him.

ALICE

What can we do?! Focus! SNAP OUT OF IT!

EL GATO

That won’t work.

WHITE KNIGHT

The watch! Stand back. (They do)

Go ahead.

What?

Wind the watch.

You do it.

ALICE

WHITE KNIGHT

ALICE

WHITE KNIGHT

I can’t. Once it is given to you, no one else can use it. Go ahead. And don’t shout at him this time.

ALICE winds the watch (SQ) and things go backwards. RABBIT, CATERPILLAR and EL GATO reverse their entrance, then enter again, in repeat.

CATERPILLAR

“There they are!”

“Tell them!”

EL GATO

“Tell us what?”

ALICE

“Go ahead!”

EL GATO

“I can’t!”

RABBIT

“Tell us!”

“You have to.”

WHITE KNIGHT

CATERPILLAR

(Softly and super controlled this time)

“What, what, What?”

ALICE

Real time resumes. Alice becomes overly gentle-voiced. Okay. Calm down! Tell me what happened.

RABBIT

Hatter—she… Hatter… she took the girl!! They’re on the other side of the Looking Glass.

ALICE

What?

RABBIT

Hatter’s got some awful plan… She’s kidnapping everyone she can to build an army, and she’s going to somehow use the girl to keep you away from the Eighth Square in the Game!

ALICE

What game?

EL GATO

At Squared Court—it will decide the next Queen.

WHITE KNIGHT

Yes—It’s like on a Chessboard…

ALICE

No problem—I was a champion chess player in the third grade. But why the girl? What does she have to do with any of this?

CATERPILLAR

In Wonderland, the truth is always in the mirror when you ask it an honest question. Clear your mind. Focus on the question, and look… What do you see?

A Huge MIRROR appears or is brought onstage. ALICE puts on the glasses. SHE looks into the mirror and sees the child.

ALICE

Oh my… it’s me… the little girl IS me… That’s why she took Dinah—(explaining) my doll—because it was mine when I was little. And now, the Hatter has them both!

WHITE KNIGHT

Maybe you are on a quest to find more than just a doll. The only way out now, is to follow them in. We’ll go with you.

EL GATO, RABBIT, & CATERPILLAR

WE??? WE??? WE???

ALICE

So wait back up—what are you saying? I have to go in there and find myself??

WHITE KNIGHT

Exactly. But it will be very tricky once you pass through. You must expect the UNexpected…

ALICE

And what happens if I don’t go—What happens if I don’t play the stupid game?

WHITE KNIGHT

Hatter will take control. And you’ll be stuck here forever… though I’m sure you’d get used to it—if you know what I mean. Like, used to me, you know… us…

ALICE

Gee, that sounds swell, but I really need to get out of here. Now focus!—Which way do we go?

WHITE KNIGHT

I am afraid this is your quest, and you are the only one who can figure this out. You will have to take the lead.

HE hands her a map.

RABBIT

So, yup—You guys better get going—time is ticking and Hatter’s army is growing by the second… Let me know how it goes.

He starts to exit, WHITE KNIGHT grabs his tailcoat.

ALICE

Get a hold of yourself, Rabbit. We’re a team and we’re doing this together. Now everyone… just… Breathe.

EVERYONE takes a deep breath, and then exhales. (Music Cue) ALICE considers the map, steps away from the HEROES while they freeze. As the music begins, our ENSEMBLE re-enters to clear the set and use the remaining chairs to create a maze of travel pathways for ALICE and the HEROES.

#15—Through the Looking Glass

(ALICE)

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS I GO

SEARCHING FOR THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE

ALL THE THINGS I USED TO KNOW WHEN MY HEART WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO SEE

THROUGH MY OWN REFLECTION

PAST MY IMPERFECTIONS

DESTINY IS WAITING NO MORE HESITATING

ALICE starts the journey to the Looking Glass following the map. The HEROES follow HER—at times reluctantly—through a moving maze created by Wonderland CHARACTERS with chairs overhead, etc., and not seen by ALICE or the HEROES.

ALL

(Breaking their freeze)

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS WE GO WHERE THE WORLD IS IN REVERSE

ALICE

AND THE ENDING ALWAYS STARTS A NEW BEGINNING

ALL

THROUGH THE MIRROR EVEN THOUGH THINGS MIGHT GO FROM BAD TO WORSE

WHITE KNIGHT

CLOSE YOUR EYES, LET GO AND LEARN TO BELIEVE SO WE CAN PASS…

ALL

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

EL GATO & CATERPILLAR HERE WE COME SO CLEAR THE DECK BOMBS AWAY AND THEN LOOK OUT BELOW!

RABBIT

I AM SUCH A NERVOUS WRECK DON’T KNOW UP FROM DOWN OR FRIEND FROM FOE

WHITE KNIGHT FEAR WILL MAKE YOU BRAVER BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAVE HER

ALICE

BOMBS AWAY LOOK OUT BELOW

ALICE, EL GATO, RABBIT, & CATERPILLAR FEAR BE BRAVE

ALICE

ALL OF YOU AND ME THEN—

ALL

GET SET, ONE, TWO, THREE, AND…

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS WE GO WHERE THE FRONT IS ALWAYS BACK AND WHAT’S LEFT IS RIGHT AND SOMETIMES WRONG IS RIGHTER

(ALL)

THROUGH THE MIRROR EVEN THOUGH NIGHT IS DAY AND WHITE IS BLACK

ALICE

AS MY CRAZY LIFE

BEGINS TO APPROACH CRITICAL MASS…

HEROES

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

ALICE sings an aside.

ALICE

STRANGE BUT TRUE

SOMETHING’S CHANGING DEEP INSIDE ME BREAKING THROUGH

WAKING WHAT’S ASLEEP INSIDE ME

ALL AT ONCE, I KNOW WHERE IT IS I’M GOING TO AND WHAT TO DO…

A Giant Mirror approaches, brought on by the ENSEMBLE.

WHITE KNIGHT & EL GATO

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS WE GO TOWARDS THE OPPOSITE OF ME

WHERE CLOCK TOWER’S HOURS—

ALICE and the HEROES gather their courage.

ALICE YEAH…

FULL ENSEMBLE

ALL RUN COUNTERCLOCKWISE

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS WE GO THROUGH THE NIGHTMARES IN OUR WAY THROUGH THE MIRROR WE ALL GO…

ALICE

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS!

ALICE and the HEROES crash through the Looking Glass Mirror, while shards of mylar confetti burst and drop to the stage like a curtain.

END OF ACT I

ACT II

SCENE 1: THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LOOKING GLASS

Lights rise on a nightmarish set filled with smoky electrical storms—the darkness is pierced by ominous searchlights.

A percussive Drum Solo begins…

#16—Through The Looking Glass (Reprise)

… during which a WAITER executes an athletic and conjuring-like dance pass, ending in a dramatic gesture signaling the arrival of HATTER’S ARMY along with HATTER and YOUNG ALICE.

ARMY

AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH

DARKLY THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS TO THE LAND WHERE SHADOWS PASS

What appears to be a massive entryway to a theme park in the shape of a huge hat makes a grand entrance with MORRIS.

YOUNG ALICE

Tunnels and Trolls! What in the world is that?

HATTER

Behold the Entrance to Hatterland! I designed it myself. It’s kind of a Mind-Altering, Memory-Annihilation portal!

YOUNG ALICE

A “What” portal?

HATTER

Yes—it’s quite ingenious. I think I’ll call it The Big MA-MA!

MORRIS

Ooo boss… That’s a good one.

HATTER

It secretly siphons the mind of anyone who passes through—extracting their thoughts and memories… poof, they’re gone.

(HATTER)

Don’t worry. It’s completely painless—you don’t even know it’s happening.

YOUNG ALICE

Why would anyone do that?

HATTER

One would do that if they wanted to make everyone forget Wonderland, so, when I become queen, I can fill their empty heads with only thoughts of me… ME and MY GLORIOUS HATTERLAND!

YOUNG ALICE

So, for you to become Queen you’d have to brainwash the entire population?

HATTER, irritated, snaps.

Shut. Up.

HATTER

Two SOLDIERS grab YOUNG ALICE.

YOUNG ALICE

What? Why me? I didn’t do anything to you!!

HATTER

I know my little guinea pig… it is a shame, but your older self is in my way. Once your memories are erased, it will leave permanent holes in the brain of my soon-to-be-eventho-she-doesn’t-know-it-yet opponent, making me certain to win at Squared Court, and you see, I have to win.

YOUNG ALICE

Forget it, Hatter!

The GUARDS force YOUNG ALICE to enter the contraption.

HATTER

“Forget it.” Ha. You will! All I have to do now is get the Queen to call for games! Sayonara “Liddell” girl. Morris! Throw the switch!!!

Sparks fly and smoke comes out of the top of the contraption while HATTER sings.

CHILDREN ARE FORGETTING ADULTS SOON REGRETTING WHAT THEY’RE ALWAYS LETTING GO

(HATTER)

NO NEED FOR PRETENDING QUESTING OR DEFENDING WHERE’S YOUR HAPPY ENDING NOW? Tremolo…

SQ DING.

YOUNG ALICE emerges. Her expression is blank.

Oh Hello… Who are you?

YOUNG ALICE

MORRIS

Her memory has been wiped! Her brain has been drained!!!

MAD HATTER

YES!! It worked!! She’s nothing but an empty, forgotten shell. All that’s left is the stupid doll—let her have it.

MORRIS hands YOUNG ALICE to 2 GUARDS.

SCENE 1B: CAPTURED

ARMY

DARKLY THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

TO THE LAND WHERE SHADOWS PASS

GUARDS enter with WHITE KNIGHT, EL GATO, and CATERPILLAR.

And who have we here?

HATTER

ARMY CAPTAIN

They were captured after they breached the Looking Glass.

MORRIS

They were captured after they breached the Looking Glass.

HATTER

What about Alice?

Missing. Along with the Rabbit.

ARMY CAPTAIN

MORRIS

Missing. Along with the Rabbit.

HATTER

Cook the Rabbit if you like, I don’t care. Alice is searching for the girl. Release the kid and follow her… Let them find each other, then capture the big Alice! Then you’ll see what kind of earthquake I can make that will shatter the Queen’s last nerve!!!!

(An evil laugh)

Hahaha…

(Looking at the captured HEROES)

I will deal with them later.

HATTER exits.

MORRIS

Come, my little pretty, you’ll be our bait! You and your little doll too! Lower the prison bars!

MORRIS and the GUARDS exit with YOUNG ALICE, passing by the 3 HEROES as the prison bars descend.

CATERPILLAR

LOOKS TO ME LIKE WE’RE TOO LATE

EL GATO

SHE’S FORGOTTEN WHO SHE IS CATERPILLAR

WILL SHE RECOGNIZE HERSELF? WE HAVE GOT TO CONCENTRATE

EL GATO

WORSE THAN BAD IS WHAT THIS IS BUT AT LEAST WE HAVE EACH OTHER

WHITE KNIGHT

I’D GIVE EVERYTHING I OWN FOR THE SMILE UPON HER FACE AND AT LAST TO SAVE OUR MISSING DARLING ALICE

WHITE KNIGHT, CATERPILLAR, & EL GATO

STAND TOGETHER, NOT ALONE. ALICE IS THE DREAM WE CHASE

WHITE KNIGHT

FOR WITHOUT HER, I KNOW I CAN’T GO ON AND I WON’T REST

CATERPILLAR, EL GATO, & HATTER’S ARMY

NEITHER GOLD NOR SILVER GLEAMS IT’S SO DESOLATE AND DARK EVEN SUNLIGHT MAKES YOU COLDER WHILE THE HATTER STEALS YOUR DREAMS AND HOPES IN CHAINS AND ROPES WE’LL/YOU’LL STAY

ARMY

DARKLY THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS TO THE LAND WHERE SHADOWS PASS FANFARE—It is a surprise visit by the QUEEN. MORRIS enters, frantic. HATTER enters from the opposite side of the stage.

MORRIS

It’s the Queen!

HATTER

For once, she has perfect timing!! Cue the drumroll!

MORRIS

Cue the drumroll.

HATTER, rolling her eyes, cues the conductor for a drumroll and begins to scribble on a card.

May I present Her Majesty, Ruler of Wonderland, our returning champion, the news of the world, the talk of the town, the Lord of the Dance, the last of the Mohicans, the Hound of the Baskervilles, the chicken of the sea, the house on haunted hill, the playmate of the month,—Please welcome to the Prison on the other side of the Looking Glass—the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of these United Snakes, Her Royal Fearsomeness, The Queen of Hearts.

FANFARE Intro to…

#17—Off With Their Heads

QUEEN OF HEARTS and her COURTIERS enter.

HATTER

My gracious Queen, how ravishing you look. You’ll be happy to know I have found the lost, treasured girl.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

What?? Who cares about lost treasure if it’s lost?? How dare you shatter my Looking Glass, Hatter! Seize her!!

The COURTIERS lunge forward to attack.

HATTER

But it wasn’t me—it was them!

(HATTER points to the HEROES)

Your Majesty, these horrible creatures deliberately shattered your Looking Glass!… And… I’ve just captured them all for you. Read the card.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

What card?

This card. It’s your verdict.

HATTER

QUEEN

OF HEARTS

This card?

HATTER Yes.

QUEEN

OF HEARTS (reading)

OFF… WITH… THEIR… HEADS.

Triggered by saying those four words, the QUEEN snaps into song. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! IT’S THE LEAST I CAN DO

Take me center.

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IT’S THE ONLY PHRASE THAT ALWAYS RINGS TRUE NEVER GETS OLD, SO I SAY TO YOU WITH CONVICTION…

QUEEN OF HEARTS

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IT’S MY ONE REAL MILIEU EVERYONE DREADS WHAT THE QUEEN MAY SAY THOUGH HATS THEY MAY DOFF IT WILL BE OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

I TRY TO BE EVEN AND FAIR BUT AS YOU SEE

I’M ALMOST NEVER ALL QUITE THERE NOBLESSE OBLIGE MY DERRIERE

LADIES IN WAITING AH

HATS THEY MAY DOFF SHE TRIES TO BE

EVEN AND FAIR BUT AS WE SEE AH

HER DERRIERE

(QUEEN OF HEARTS)

WHEN I DEMAND

ALL MUST ADHERE

I WAVE MY HAND AND ALL MY COURTIERS APPEAR AND WHEN THEY DON’T OR IF THEY WON’T LOUD AND CLEAR IT’S...

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS

I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY’VE DONE OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IS MY FIRST AND SECOND RULE NUMBER ONE

ONCE YOU‘VE BEGUN WELL, IT’S SO MUCH FUN ALL TOGETHER!

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IS A MANTRA OF MINE OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IS MY BOTTOM LINE AND IF YOU DARE SCOFF WELL, THEN IT’S OFF WITH YOUR HEADS

(LADIES IN WAITING)

IT’S REALLY GRAND

THE ROYAL REAR

CAN SHE COMMAND?

DON’T NEED A CONGRESS OR A CONSTITUTION FOR IT’S A FORGONE CONCLUSION THAT EVERY PROBLEM HAS THE SAME SOLUTION

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS CARE WHAT THEY’VE DONE OFF WITH THEIR HEADS FIRST AND SECOND RULE NUMBER ONE

+TENORS & BASSES

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IS HER BOTTOM —FINE!

LADIES IN WAITING

SHE’S OFF, SHE’S AWFUL SHE’S ALL “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

BUM, BUM, BUM BUM, BUM, BUM AH CONCLUSION

TUSH TUSH TUSH TUSH TUSH TUSH TUSH

(QUEEN OF HEARTS)

PERSUADE, CRUSADE, WITH A CUSTOM MADE

RENEWABLE, DOABLE, UNMISCONSTRUABLE STAINLESS STEEL BLADE

O—OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IT’S THE LEAST I CAN DO OFF WITH THEIR HEADS IT’S THE ONLY PHRASE THAT ALWAYS RINGS TRUE

BABY, IT’S OFF, OFF, OFF OFF, OFF, OFF OFF, OFF, OFF OFF WITH THEIR— HEADS

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS

OFF WITH THEIR— HEADS

(LADIES IN WAITING)

AH-HA, AH-HA, AH-HA

HOORAH AH +TENORS & BASSES

AH AH OFF, OFF OFF, OFF, OFF

OFF, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS

QUEEN OF HEARTS

MAMA SAYS OFF WITH THEIR HEADS YEAH!

#17A—A Theatrical Entrance

QUEEN OF HEARTS and her ENTOURAGE exits as the set transitions. (Could be a blackout moment.)

SCENE 2: A FOREBODING WALL

Meanwhile, ALICE and RABBIT arrive at a foreboding wall with a hidden door.

ALICE

Where are the others… we went through at the same time. I feel dizzy…

Threatening sounds are heard.

We need a plan… Where’s my White Knight? If he were here, he’d know what to do.

(shocked)

I can’t believe I just said that.

RABBIT

He’s not coming! We’ve seen the last of him! When you go through the Glass, you never know where you’ll end up. The Hatter’s surely done something to the kid by now too, I mean to you, I mean, the child—you. And she’s probably got your White Knight too! She’s going to do something awful to him—or worse! He’s your EX-White Knight!

ALICE

Don’t talk about him like that!

RABBIT

I should have followed my own advice! Speak when you’re spoken to. Think before you speak. Always tell the truth, and write it down afterwards so you don’t get mixed up when they subpoena you!

More ominous sounds are heard. ALICE sees a DOOR.

A hidden door!!—But it’s all locked up.

ALICE

ALICE examines the DOOR—all kinds of jumbled letters appear.

RABBIT

All I know is, some doors should be kept shut tight! Where’s my scarf?

ALICE

What do you need a scarf for?

RABBIT finds it, wraps it around his head, under his chin.

RABBIT

The scarf goes around my head to keep my head from being cut off. You know that’s one of the most serious things that can happen to you.

(Pleading to anyone who will listen)

I’m innocent! I’m meaningless. I’m only an insignificant piece of the puzzle!

ALICE

That’s it! It must be a puzzle!

SHE finds a piece of paper pinned to the door. “MYSTERIOUS VOICES” echo in whispers.

“READ ME: If an Open Door is what’s Desired—A Theatrical Entrance is what’s Required.” What on earth does that mean? A “Theatrical Entrance?”

Appearing suddenly prominent among the letters, she reads:

Look! T, H, E, A, T, R, I, C, A, L Theatrical…

ALICE begins to rearrange the letters, looking for clues.

MYSTERIOUS VOICES

CURTAIN UP—DEVOTEES, TICKETS PLEASE BE THEATRICAL, BE THEATRICAL, BE THEATRICAL IT’S A DREAM—COMEDY, TRAGEDY WHO’S TO SAY? PUZZLE IT—RIDDLE ME WHAT YOU SEE WHEN THE LETTERS LAND DO THEY FIT CLOSE ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND?

ALICE

Do the letters fit—? Yes, they do!

ALICE takes some of letters to one side.

A, L, I, C, E Alice! That’s me!

And then, ominously, the remaining letters rearrange themselves, opposite her name, as she watches…

H, A, T, T, R? … And Hattr? Why the two of us?

(Taking a moment to think to herself)

Maybe if we share the E, it will unlock the door…

She rearranges the letters, but this time like a crossword puzzle—sharing the E in both the names.

The door automatically unlocks!

RABBIT

Oh, my ears and whiskers! That’s it! I’m getting out of here!

The WALL flies away… The RABBIT bolts.

SCENE 3: A SURREAL GARDEN

As the WALL flies away, it reveals CHAZ in a place too beautiful to be real, ungoverned by time, unstable as a dream. ALICE is spell-bound. She crosses toward CHAZ, who is writing a song in the night sky. The ENSEMBLE is scattered about, melding into the set periphery as silent witnesses in silhouette.

CHAZ

SHINING SILVER ICE BREATH UPON A MIRROR ONCE AND TWICE AND THRICE MOVING INTO MOONLIGHT THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

ALICE

That’s a beautiful song.

CHAZ

Thank you. I just dreamed it up. When I dream, I become my own invention. Who are you?

ALICE

Why does everyone here want to know my name?

CHAZ

You’re mistaken. “Who are you?” is a very different question than “What’s your name?” (beat)

Have you found the key to the riddle yet?

ALICE

Which one? I’d prefer to do something better with my time than waste it on riddles.

CHAZ

Time is not an It. Time’s a He. But that’s not the riddle I meant. I was speaking of the riddle at the door where you drank the potion. (HE recites, echoed by the MYSTERIOUS VOICES)

#17B—Chillin’ With Chaz

(CHAZ)

“Ye golden house of life’s young spring, Of innocence, of love and truth!

Bright, beyond all imagining, Thou fairy-dream of youth!”

Who do you suppose is the youth in the riddle?

ALICE

The youth? Could that be the child I’m looking for? But the child is me—I saw her in my reflection in the Glass. Maybe she is the key… ?

CHAZ

She, the child, is your pure self, filled with…

ALICE & CHAZ

“innocence, love and truth—”

ALICE

Why can’t I find her?

CHAZ

You may be the reason she is lost… (pause)

Have you noticed how everything begins with M? Mousetraps and mirror and moon and memory and muchness and…

ALICE

And Mad Hatter? If you ask me, I don’t think…

CHAZ

Then you shouldn’t talk.

ALICE

Who exactly is the Hatter?

CHAZ

Who exactly are you?

ALICE

Well, I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then. Everyone here…

CHAZ

Everyone here is a part of you. In Wonderland, each part of you has a separate expression—good and bad, the positive and negative. Like shafts of light, splintered through a prism.

ALICE

Everyone here is part of me? How can I possibly believe that?

CHAZ

Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

ALICE

The Hatter too??

CHAZ

The Hatter might be the part of you that is angry, trapped in fear… void of love and therefore, madly desperate for power.

ALICE

Why has she taken the girl? What could she possibly gain from my child-self? My childhood is over… it’s in the past and I am a fully functioning adult.

CHAZ

Are you? Everything inside your child-mind is critical to your adult decisions—she’s your inner compass. Possibly the Hatter wants to destroy you from within…

ALICE

… by erasing who I was… How will I ever find her now?

CHAZ

You must believe in who you were, to know who you are.

#18—I Am My Own Invention

As the song progresses, Wonderland CHARACTERS emerge from silhouette.

(CHAZ)

NOTHING CAN EXIST ‘TIL YOU DREAM IT FIRST EVERYONE KNOWS THIS THEN IT WILL ARRIVE NEW AND UNREHEARSED VIVID AS A KISS DREAMERS AND CHILDREN CAN CONJURE THINGS EASILY THINGS THEIR EYES THOUGH THEY’RE CLOSED, CAN SEE

NOT THE WAY THINGS ARE, BUT HOW THEY SHOULD BE THIS IS WHAT IS TRUE

WISH UPON A STAR, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SEE ALL THAT YOU CAN DO TRY TO REMEMBER THE WAY YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE HER THE LITTLE GIRL THAT’S THERE INSIDE OF YOU

I AM MY OWN INVENTION MEETING EACH DAY ANEW CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING YOUR OWN INVENTION TOO?

LUCID AS A HEART WELCOME AS A FRIEND GOSSAMER AND NEW

ALICE SO LONG AGO

CHAZ

DREAMS WILL ALWAYS START WITH A HAPPY END WAITING TO COME TRUE

ALICE

HELP ME SO I CAN REMEMBER DREAMS TO SHARE WITH DREAMS TO SPARE

IMAGINING A DREAMER JUST LIKE YOU

BOTH

I AM MY OWN INVENTION FINALLY I CAN SEE

CHAZ

I AM MY OWN INVENTION TOMORROW CAN’T BE

ALICE

I AM MY OWN INVENTION

BOTH

ALL IT SHOULD BE ‘TIL I’VE INVENTED ME

Applause. They share a smile. Then CHAZ starts to exit.

ALICE

Wait! Wait… what happens next?

CHAZ

You can’t remember things before they happen.

ALICE

But I don’t know where else to look.

CHAZ

Only in your heart will you find your youth… (HE exits.)

#18A—After Invention

CHAZ is gone. ALICE turns and sees YOUNG ALICE revealed, blind and wandering, slowly with Dinah dangling by her side.

ALICE

Hello…

(The GIRL stops, but does not look up.) Alice? Is your name Alice?

YOUNG ALICE

Come closer. I can’t see you.

Are you Alice?

I don’t know…

ALICE

YOUNG ALICE

ALICE

Why can’t you remember? What has happened to you?

YOUNG ALICE

You smell like roses.

ALICE

My Grandma smelled like roses. Nobody ever believed in me like she did. She gave me… us… that doll you are holding… do you remember?

YOUNG ALICE

No.

YOUNG ALICE & ALICE

Roses are my favorite flower.

ALICE is surprised… something has struck a chord. SHE struggles to reach into her own past.

Yes!—you love roses… you see…

ALICE

(Realizing her own thoughts are becoming more clear)

That’s a memory… a memory of love. I guess they can never be erased. I promise you I haven’t forgotten—and if I haven’t forgotten, I can piece together all my memories—one by one—with you, so we can be together again… as one Alice. Wouldn’t that be nice?

YOUNG ALICE

I miss my Grandma.

ALICE

Yes, Alice. I miss her too… Listen to me. Look into my eyes.

YOUNG ALICE’s gaze doesn’t change. ALICE keeps her distance, and carefully finds a way to approach YOUNG ALICE. Slowly, as the song progresses, YOUNG ALICE begins to regain pieces of her thoughts, triggered by ALICE.

LONG AGO, AND, OH, SO FAR AWAY THERE WERE DREAMS THAT I RECALL FULL OF UNICORNS WHO LOVED TO PLAY BEHIND MY GARDEN WALL

YOUNG ALICE

AND THE CLOUDS WOULD LOOK LIKE DRAGON’S TAILS AS THEY MOVED ACROSS THE SKY AND A TREE COULD BE THE PRINCE OF WALES

ALICE

AND LITTLE GIRLS COULD FLY I REMEMBER EVERY MOMENT

YOUNG ALICE

FULL OF MAGIC I COULD SEE

ALICE

I REMEMBER YOU, BUT NOTHING WILL DO ‘TIL I REMEMBER ME

I REMEMBER LIVING IN BETWEEN WHAT WAS REAL AND WHAT WAS NOT

#19—Once More I Can See

(ALICE)

‘NEATH A SKY OF BLUE AND FIELD OF GREEN I LONG AGO FORGOT

I REMEMBER RABBITS RUNNING LATE

BOTH

UNDERNEATH MY MOTHER’S FENCE AND A SINGING CUP AND TALKING PLATE WHO SOMEHOW BOTH MADE SENSE I REMEMBER EVERY MOMENT

YOUNG ALICE

(Finally able to turn and look at ALICE) AND IF YOU REMEMBER ME

ALICE

I WILL RECOGNIZE THE SMILE IN YOUR EYES AND ONCE MORE I CAN SEE

YOUNG ALICE and ALICE touch hands. It is electric. During the musical interlude, the two ALICES swirl around each other, creating a force pulling all the ENSEMBLE CHARACTERS into a tornado around them. YOUNG ALICE exits unseen by the audience in a cloud of characters. The ENSEMBLE exits, leaving ALICE standing alone. SHE realizes she is holding the doll and the golden key necklace. FOR SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE ME THERE’S A GIRL FROM WAY BACK WHEN I JUST NEED HER HEART TO GUIDE ME AND MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

I REMEMBER EVERY MOMENT SHE’S THE LIGHT INSIDE OF ME AND TO MY SURPRISE I LOOK THROUGH HER EYES

I don’t know where you leave off and where I begin, but for the first time in a very long time, I feel… whole. AND ONCE MORE I CAN SEE Applause. Wind SFX. #19A—They All Gonna Die

A door appears with an exit sign. RABBIT rushes on yelling.

RABBIT

I FOUND YOU! Quick—there’s no time to lose. Hatter’s captured the others…

ALICE puts the key in the door.

Wait!!! You can’t leave!—if you leave, there will be no hope!?!?

Two MEMBERS of Hatter’s Army appear. ALICE hides.

ARMY CAPTAIN

There he is—get him!

The ARMY MEMBERS exit chasing RABBIT. Unseen by the SOLDIERS, ALICE decides not to open the door and puts the key around her neck. SHE runs off, as CHAZ watches from his perch.

SCENE 4: THE PRISON GALLOWS

MORRIS raises the prison bars. SOLDIERS push WHITE KNIGHT, EL GATO, and CATERPILLAR into the prison cell.

MORRIS

Prepare the prisoners for Execution.

RABBIT is marched on with the scarf still wrapped around his head.

Where is Alice?

WHITE KNIGHT

RABBIT

I don’t know. She got away. I ran. Like a rabbit.

MORRIS

Be-headals commence in 5…

MORRIS exits, leaving the PRISONERS guarded.

This is it.

Time’s up.

Alice! Wherever you are—

She can’t hear you.

CATERPILLAR

EL GATO

WHITE KNIGHT

RABBIT

WHITE KNIGHT

However far away she is, I know she can hear me. She’s what I’ve been looking for all my life. And we both know it now, even if we’ve run out of time.

RABBIT

Every morning of my life, I woke up thinking it would be my last. Now that it’s finally here, I’m glad it’s alongside all of you, my friends. I only regret…

EVERYONE turns to look at him.

(RABBIT)

—that I never got my own song.

#20—Together

WHITE KNIGHT and RABBIT share a moment. Thinking this is his moment, RABBIT breathes in, preparing to sing, but the WHITE KNIGHT takes over.

WHITE KNIGHT

EVERY KNIGHT WHO IS YEARNING FOR A LADY WHO’S LOST KNOWS A BRIDGE THAT IS BURNING STILL CAN BE CROSSED AND A DREAMER WHO’S SLEEPING NEEDS A DREAMER WHO’S WIDE AWAKE

EL GATO & CATERPILLAR

ALONE IS SUCH A BIG MISTAKE

WHITE KNIGHT

UNDIVIDED ATTENTION AND A WORD TO THE WISE BEING YOUR OWN INVENTION OPENS YOUR EYES WITH A SENSE OF DIRECTION AND A WHOLE NEW CONNECTION

WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU AGAIN

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU GONNA BRING YOU BACK HOME

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU GONNA STAND UP AND FIGHT

‘CAUSE BEFORE THIS IS OVER— TOGETHER WE’LL GET IT RIGHT

GATO, CATERPILLAR, & RABBIT

AH OPENS YOUR EYES

WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU AGAIN

TOGETHER

WHEN WE GET TOGETHER, IT’S RIGHT

(WHITE KNIGHT)

OVER RIVERS AND VALLEYS

OVER MOUNTAINS AND STREAMS

OVER TRAGIC FINALES

HEARTBROKEN DREAMS EVER TRUE, EVER DARING EVER FOREVER SWEARING

WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU AGAIN

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU LIKE A LONG-LOST TRUTH TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU LIKE A STAR IN THE NIGHT

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU LIKE THE SWEET JOY OF YOUTH

‘CAUSE BEFORE THIS IS OVER— TOGETHER

WE’LL GET IT RIGHT

(EL GATO, CATERPILLAR, & RABBIT) SO DEEP SO HIGH TRAGIC BROKEN DREAMS

WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU AGAIN

+ KNIGHTS

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU

TOGETHER

BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU

TOGETHER SWEET JOY OF YOUTH

TOGETHER

The KNIGHTS and ALICE enter, disguised as Hatter’s Army. THEY fight HATTER’S GUARDS—full comicstrip-style. SOME fall to the floor, OTHERS tumble off stage. Victorious, ALICE and KNIGHTS break into the prison cell, revealing themselves and freeing the astonished HEROES from their shackles as they embrace and sing…

ALICE

‘CAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY… WE’LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN—!

UNTIL THEN

WHITE KNIGHT, EL GATO, CATERPILLAR, & RABBIT

WE’LL BE TOGETHER

UNTIL THEN

As the celebration continues, the fallen HATTER’S ARMY members begin to revive, being lulled into the joy of the music. OTHERS trickle back onstage, dancing robotic-like at first, then rigid movement softens and they begin to groove as the song continues, as if HATTER’s brainwashing spell is weakening.

ALICE, WHITE KNIGHT, EL GATO, CATERPILLAR, & RABBIT

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU LIKE A LONG LOST TRUTH

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU LIKE A STAR IN THE NIGHT TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU LIKE THE SWEET JOY OF YOUTH

WHITE KNIGHT

‘CAUSE BEFORE THIS IS OVER

KNIGHTS & ENSEMBLE (SATB)

TOGETHER WE’LL MAKE IT RIGHT TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU TOGETHER BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU TOGETHER SWEET JOY OF YOUTH

HATTER ARMY begins to dance along with the HEROES. THEY are now fully into the moment of celebration.

WHITE KNIGHT & ALICE

TOGETHER WE’LL GET IT RIGHT

EL GATO, CATERPILLAR, & RABBIT

TOGETHER

TOGETHER WE’RE

GONNA FIND YOU

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU ‘TIL YOU’RE BACK HOME AGAIN

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU

WHITE KNIGHT BE MORE THAN A FRIEND

WHITE KNIGHT & ALICE

‘CAUSE TOGETHER IS BETTER

ALICE

THAN WHATEVER I’VE DONE YEAH

WHITE KNIGHT & ALICE

TOGETHER IS BETTER

ALICE THAN THE POWER OF ONE

LIKE A RAINBOW’S END TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU ‘TIL YOU’RE BACK HOME AGAIN

TOGETHER WE’RE GONNA FIND YOU

KNIGHTS & ENSEMBLE

GONNA MAKE IT

TOGETHER IS BETTER

GONNA FIND YOU LIKE A RAINBOW’S END

GONNA FIND YOU ‘TIL YOU’RE BACK HOME AGAIN

GONNA FIND YOU STAND UP

(TO)GETHER IS BETTER

TOGETHER IS BETTER

(TO)GETHER IS BETTER

ALL

TOGETHER IS BETTER

WHITE KNIGHT

THAN WHATEVER YOU MIGHT HAVE PLANNED HERE I STAND WITH…

ALL

ALICE IN WONDERLAND!

Applause. During Music #20A, seeing the GUARDS distracted in joyous dancing, the HEROES begin dancing their way offstage.

#20A—Together Playoff

SCENE 5: CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Unnoticed, HATTER and a few ARMY slowly approach to intercept their escape. Caught off guard, the HEROES prepare to attack. HATTER makes a gesture (SQ) and seemingly takes physical control over the HEROES, now unable to move their feet.

HATTER

Wait!—Not so fast! You thought you and your “heroes” could slip by me so easily. I believe you owe me an apology, ruining my day like this.

HATTER makes another gesture (SQ) and now controls ALICE’s body—drawing ALICE toward her.

Haven’t you forgotten something? I am more powerful than you think, “Allie.” Can you feel me gaining power? I can even read your mind…

WHITE KNIGHT

I don’t understand—Alice… you can’t give in to her.

CATERPILLAR

Use the glasses—they should repel her gaze.

EL GATO

Yes! And the shoes—hold your ground.

RABBIT

Actually, I think you’d make a really great supreme leader!

ALL

Shut up!

Get her!!

WHITE KNIGHT

HATTER

Halt!! Stop everything!!

(SQ—HATTER freezes EVERYONE with a strong gesture.)

This is between you and me… I know the dirty little secret too—I am part of you… Your ambition, your drive… Give in to me, and together, we could rule the Universe… So the real question is who do you want to be?

I know who I am. And my name is…

ALICE

HATTER adds on to deliberately increase the earth-shattering, earthquake effect. HATTER knows the QUEEN will not be able to hold off this immense disturbance.

Alice Cornwinkle!!!

HATTER & ALICE

SQ—BIGGEST EARTHQUAKE YET—

A warning that Wonderland is now in grave danger, causing EVERYONE to fall to the floor except ALICE and HATTER. The QUEEN‘s booming voice is heard.

QUEEN OF HEARTS (V.O.)

Attention my subjects! This turmoil and discord is more than I can bear—damaging to the very core of Wonderland—and leaves me no alternative. I declare Games at Squared Court between the Mad Hatter and Alice. All are commanded to convene.

HATTER bows graciously, but with a smirk. Her plan seems to have worked. OTHERS slowly stand.

HATTER

At Squared Court, then. HATTER and her ARMY begin to exit.

RABBIT

Be there or be squared.

EVERYONE (including the HATTER ARMY) SHUT UP!!

The HATTER and her ARMY EXIT.

ALICE

Squared Court?? I don’t know if I can play this game… What if Hatter defeats me?

WHITE KNIGHT

It will be difficult. You will have to eliminate all her players first. But you are stronger than you think you are. I will stay right by your side, we all will, no matter what. You have to trust you can do this—I know you will be a great commander.

#21—Love Begins

WHITE KNIGHT gallantly kisses her hand.

ALICE

OH NO, ARE THOSE BUTTERFLIES I’M FEELING?

WHITE KNIGHT

I GUESS I COULD SETTLE DOWN SOMEDAY

ALICE

ALTHOUGH HE IS REALLY QUITE APPEALING IN A SILLY SORT OF WONDERLAND WAY

WHITE KNIGHT

SEEMS LIKE THAT I’M ALWAYS THINKING OF HER

ALICE

WHO CARES IF I MET HIM YESTERDAY?

WHITE KNIGHT

SEEMS LIKE PROBABLY I’M SURE I LOVE HER

BOTH

SO I GUESS IT HAPPENS JUST LIKE THEY SAY LOVE BEGINS LIKE A WHISPER THEN IT GROWS INTO A ROAR UNTIL YOU SIMPLY CAN’T IGNORE IT THERE’S NO WAY TO CONCEAL IT AND YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU FEEL IT ‘CAUSE I KNOW IT FEELS LIKE THIS WHEN LOVE BEGINS

WHITE KNIGHT

WHAT GOOD IS A HERO UNDER FIRE UNLESS THERE’S A LADY WHO WILL CARE?

ALICE

WHAT USE IS A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE IF THE HAPPY ENDING NEVER GETS THERE?

ALICE & WHITE KNIGHT

LOVE BEGINS FROM A DISTANCE THEN IT’S CLOSE ENOUGH TO TOUCH UNTIL IT’S SUDDENLY TOO MUCH WHEN LOVE BEGINS IT’S A WONDER

KNIGHTS

HOO, OOH WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? AHH

EL GATO, CATERPILLAR, & RABBIT

HOO, OOH WHERE’S THE HAPPY END?

OOH, OOH AHH

LOVE BEGINS IT’S A WONDER

ALICE & WHITE KNIGHT

AN ENCHANTING SPELL YOU’RE UNDER THAT YOU HOPE WILL NEVER END WHEN LOVE BEGINS

ALICE

LISTEN FOR THE HUSH… RIGHT BEFORE THE RUSH OF IT MOVES THROUGH YOUR HEART

WHITE KNIGHT

LET IT COME TO YOU NOTHING YOU CAN DO

ALICE & WHITE KNIGHT

EXCEPT LET GO AND LET IT START

ALICE

LOVE BEGINS

WHEN IT WANTS TO

YOU CAN’T TELL IT WHAT TO DO OR WHO IT OUGHTA HAPPEN TO

ALICE & WHITE KNIGHT WHEN LOVE BEGINS IT’S LIKE MAGIC

WHITE KNIGHT

LOVE BEGINS

WHEN IT WANTS TO YOU CAN’T TELL IT WHAT TO DO OR WHO IT OUGHTA HAPPEN TO

ENSEMBLE

LOVE BEGINS IT’S LIKE MAGIC

ALICE & WHITE KNIGHT AND IT TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY AND MAKES YOU PRAY THAT IT WILL STAY WHEN LOVE BEGINS WHITE KNIGHT kisses ALICE.

ALICE

OH YES, THOSE ARE BUTTERFLIES I’M FEELING

WHITE KNIGHT

I GUESS I COULD SETTLE DOWN SOMEDAY

Applause.

RABBIT

This is beautiful, and super touching you found each other and all, and I really hope it works out, BUT IT’S TIME TO LEAVE!!!!! We cannot be late or all our heads will certainly roll. Let’s go!!

THEY turn to exit in slow motion.

SCENE 6: HATTER’S INNER SANCTUM

Immediately, the HATTER is discovered aloft onstage preparing mentally for battle. In slow motion as an internal transition, the game is set up, including an impressive red square placed center stage. ALL arrive and take their places.

#22—I Will Prevail

HATTER

“In a Wonderland they lie, Dreaming as the days go by, Dreaming as the summers die: Ever drifting down the stream—Lingering in the golden gleam—Life, what is it but a dream?”…

A TOUCH OF FEAR… A BEAD OF SWEAT… A NAGGING DOUBT SMUGGLED IN A NERVOUS SMILE TO HIDE REGRET

I’M ALL YOU DREAD YOU KNOW ME WELL I’M THE WICKED LITTLE SPELL INSIDE YOUR—

HATTER

HEAD IN EVERY SINGLE MISTAKE AND EVERY MOMENT YOU FAKE OR STUMBLE THROUGH BY EQUIVOCATING I OFFER ALL THE EXCUSES THAT YOU NEED

IN EVERY CHANCE THAT YOU MISS AND EVERY COUNTERFEIT KISS

I AM THE REASON YOU’RE ALWAYS WAITING AND I KNOW ALL OF THE SECRETS THAT YOU FEEL

ENSEMBLE

AH, AH, AH, HUH

HUH OH OH

HUH

HATTER

SO SAD, TOO BAD, YOU HAD SUCH AMBITIONS TOO LATE, CHECKMATE IS YOUR FATE IT’S OVER

(HATTER)

I COME ALIVE WHEN YOU’RE AFRAID

I AM THE ENDING OF YOUR TRAGIC FAIRY TALE

I WILL SURVIVE THE LIFE WE MADE

HATTER

I AM THE REASON THAT YOU FAIL— I WILL PREVAIL

ENSEMBLE

SCENE

7: SQUARED COURT: ON THE CHESSBOARD

Processional music as the QUEEN enters along with HATTER with her ARMY, and ALICE with her HEROES.

ENSEMBLE HUH, HUH, HUH, HA

QUEEN OF HEARTS

(to ALICE)

State who you are.

ALICE

I am Senior Developer at Everheart, Inc., a 21st Century Video Gaming Company.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

No. I mean… For the Record. What is your name?

ALICE

My name is Alice. Alice Cornwinkle.

SFX—Rumbles

The EIGHTH SQUARE begins to glow red.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Right, we welcome Alice…

(Deciding to NOT say her last name and pointing)

… Her… who requests to be Queen…

ALICE

I don’t need to be Queen. I need to be home.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

You can’t leave until the Game has played itself out. Do you have the entrance fee? WAITERS approach ALICE and HATTER.

ALICE

Entrance fee? No—I have nothing… Except this watch—

I’ll take it.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

RABBIT

Not the watch! You can’t give it up… you won’t win! It’s impossible!

ALICE

Sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. (MUSIC drums and rhythm) ALICE hands over the watch as the entrance fee by placing it on the WAITER’s tray. HATTER removes her hat and places it on a separate tray. WAITERS give HATTER and ALICE a red Dinner napkin (Used in the game to signal a shift for player locations on the board.) THEY deliver the entrance fee items to the Queen’s COURTIERS.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

(Announcing)

Rules for the game.

ALL ONE!

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Hatter and Alice, as commanders, you may move forward, backward, diagonal and in spiral.

ALL TWO!

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Red Flag high means an all board move. Remember, only two are granted, so use them wisely.

ALL THREE!

QUEEN OF HEARTS

All Knights must move in tandem, but die alone. The first commander to eliminate all of your opponent’s players may only then proceed to the 8th Square and be made Queen. Take your positions.

(To RABBIT)

(QUEEN OF HEARTS)

Set the clock.

(Announcing)

Let the Game begin!

As the song continues, a choreographed game ensues whereby PLAYERS are eliminated one by one until only HATTER, ALICE, UNICORN, and the WHITE KNIGHT remain.

HATTER

I’M ALL YOU DREAD

I KNOW YOU WELL YOU’RE THE WICKED LITTLE SPELL INSIDE MY HEAD

ALICE

I’M ALL YOU DREAD I KNOW YOU WELL

YOU’RE THE WICKED LITTLE SPELL INSIDE MY HEAD

ENSEMBLE

AH, AH, AH

HATTER

THIS TIME IT’S GONNA BE ME THE LAST THING YOU EVER SEE THE ARMAGEDDON OF YOUR DEVISING

ENSEMBLE

GONNA BE ME YOU EVER SEE

ENSEMBLE NO!!

HATTER

THERE’S NO WAY YOU CAN ESCAPE FROM ME AND YOU ALICE

DON’T NEED YOUR HALF-HEARTED SOUL OR YOU TO

BULLY AND RULE NO SLY MAGICIAN OF COMPROMISING

OH OH!

ENSEMBLE

HALF-HEARTED SOUL

BULLY AND RULE

OH!

ALICE

TO CONJURE ALL THAT IS FALSE UNTIL IT’S TRUE

HATTER

SAD SACK—PITCH BLACK, FLASHBACK PREMONITIONS

ENSEMBLE FLASHBACK AH

HATTER & ENSEMBLE BAD NEWS—YOU LOSE

HATTER & ALICE

I REFUSE…

On the lyric “refuse,” HATTER and ALICE make an identical gesture simultaneously, slowing time for ALL onstage other than themselves. HATTER and ALICE meet downstage to negotiate, as movement continues in abstract, slow motion, upstage.

HATTER

I CAN GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED EVER TRUE AND FULLY GUARANTEED NO MORE PLAYING PERFECT WIFE PERFECT MOTHER, PERFECT LIFE

I KNOW EACH DAY YOU’RE MORE AFRAID YOU’RE OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID AND LIVING WITH THE MESS YOU MADE

ALICE

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE

I ALWAYS WIN YOU SHOULD WATCH WHAT YOU SAY

I’LL DESTROY WHAT’S LEFT OF YOU

HOW WILL JACK SURVIVE YOUR DEATH WHEN HE WILL NEVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN IT’S OVER…

IT’S OVER WHAT A BITTER GIRL YOU ARE LIKE A DISAPPOINTED FALLING STAR

IN YOUR EYES I FIN’LLY SEE SOMEONE ANGRIER THAN ME

I WILL FIGHT TO MY LAST BREATH THEN

IT’S OVER IT’S OVER…

Taking mental control, ALICE forces HATTER back onto the board, and time snaps back to full tempo.

HATTER & ALICE

YOU FEAR—I THRIVE, AND SO IT GOES

HATTER

I’LL WRITE THE ENDING OF YOUR TRAGIC FAIRY TALE!

ALICE

YOU WON’T SURVIVE THE LIFE YOU CHOSE

ALICE & HATTER

THERE’S JUST ONE OVERLOOKED DETAIL

AH AH OH OH

ENSEMBLE

TRAGIC FAIRY TALE

ENSEMBLE

AHH

HATTER, in a desperate move, breaks off the horn from the UNICORN, killing the UNICORN. There is an audible gasp—EVERYONE is stunned. Movement becomes instantly slow motion while HATTER crosses deliberately toward her next victim.

HATTER

I WILL PREVAIL

ENSEMBLE

AHH AHH AHH

WHITE KNIGHT steps in to protect ALICE, looking at the UNICORN dying. HATTER takes the opportunity—with a single, surprisingly swift blow, HATTER stabs WHITE KNIGHT in the heart, mortally wounding him with the horn. He staggers. ALICE rushes to catch the Knight as he falls to the ground. She impulsively takes her red handkerchief and covers his wounded heart. Unknowingly, SHE and WHITE KNIGHT have landed on the Eighth Square. Real time resumes.

HATTER

Hatter takes the White Knight!

All focus is on the WHITE KNIGHT and ALICE.

ALICE

You can’t… I need you… you are my hero… please… no.

WHITE KNIGHT

I love you, Allie. I always have. And I always will.

WHITE KNIGHT dies in her arms. HATTER moves closer to ALICE. Threateningly, HATTER raises the horn high over ALICE.

HATTER

Do you believe in me now?

QUEEN OF HEARTS (booming)

ENOUGH!!

In saying this, QUEEN makes a gesture (SQ) that causes the horn to fly out of the HATTER’s hand.

I’m declaring this game over.

#22A—After Prevail

Two WAITERS seize HATTER. The QUEEN crosses to retrieve the horn. SHE then replaces the horn to the forehead of the UNICORN, restoring the UNICORN to life.

(QUEEN OF HEARTS)

Alice has rightfully reached the Eighth Square. If she can answer the Riddle of the Ages, she will be made Queen.

HATTER

What!? You can’t do this to me! I was supposed to win—I am ruler of Hatter-land.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

I’m used to being misunderstood. Let me be perfectly clear: OFF WITH HER HEAD!

HATTER

WHAT?!

The two WAITERS start to exit with HATTER and the HATTER’s hat.

Leave the hat. Lose the head.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

ALICE

Wait!… the riddle… I understand it now. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”… There is no right answer… which also means, there is no wrong answer. It’s like life. (Music cue)

(ALICE)

The point is to keep looking. My childhood memories had never truly left me, so they couldn’t have been truly lost. And dreams—they come from imagination. This place—this is a dream—and I’m here because I needed to learn for myself, that I am responsible, which also means, I am in charge. You have no power, Hatter, and your anger and greed will never be a part of me again. And if it is not a part of me, it cannot be a part of you. Hatter—I command you to be free. I command all of you are free. It all makes sense… being here. I’m who I want to be now….

(Looking to WHITE KNIGHT lying still on the floor)

I just needed to believe in the love that was right in front of me.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Yes… it is love that has rightfully brought you to the Eighth Square.

ALICE

So wait, how does this end?

QUEEN OF HEARTS

As dreams sometimes must: with farewells, and regret.

ALICE

Queen of Hearts, isn’t there something you can do to bring him back?… My watch… May I have my watch back?

QUEEN OF HEARTS

What makes you think it will work now? After you’ve given it up?

ALICE

It will work because I need it to work. It has to work.

The QUEEN gives her the watch. ALICE quickly kneels again by the fallen WHITE KNIGHT.

Listen, I’m winding the watch backwards—to when we were together. A second chance.

SHE winds the watch. Nothing happens.

RABBIT

The watch won’t work once you’ve given it up.

ALICE winds the watch again. Nothing happens. WHITE KNIGHT remains lifeless. No one moves.

(RABBIT)

CHANCES, THEY COME AND GO BUT YOU’RE AFRAID AND SO YOU RUN AWAY

EL GATO

AND WHEN A CHANCE IS THERE MAKE BELIEVE YOU DON’T CARE THAT’S HOW TO PLAY

CATERPILLAR

BRIDGES YOU NEVER CROSSED LEFT YOU ALONE AND LOST LOOKING AROUND

HATTER

PEOPLE ARE HARD TO FIND WHEN THEY GET LEFT BEHIND ON SUCH ANGRY GROUND—

RABBIT, EL GATO, CATERPILLAR, & HATTER SO IT GOES…

ALICE

THE HOURS MOVE, THE DAYS GO BY WE WAIT FOR HEROES TO FALL FROM THE SKY I’VE WAITED TOO LONG TO LEARN WHAT’S TRUE I PROMISE YOU WERE A HERO FOR ME AND I’LL BE A HERO FOR YOU

NOTHING IS BLACK OR WHITE EASY AS WRONG OR RIGHT OR SO THEY SAY

YOU ARE THE BEST OF ME SAVING THE REST OF ME DAY AFTER DAY

(ALICE)

HOLD ON TO THOSE YOU LOVE THROUGH WHAT YOU’RE DREAMING OF YOU’LL MAKE IT SOMEHOW

THE FUTURE CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST MAKE EVERY SECOND LAST FOR ALL WE HAVE IS HERE AND NOW (TRANSITION TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM begins here)

ALL (BUT ALICE)

THE HOURS MOVE, THE DAYS GO BY WHY WAIT FOR HEROES TO FALL FROM THE SKY?

ALICE

I FIN’LLY KNOW WHAT’S REALLY TRUE I PROMISE YOU ARE A HERO FOR ME AND I’LL BE A HERO FOR YOU

Taking the key from around her neck, ALICE moves towards an imaginary door.

ENSEMBLE (overlapping)

I’LL BE A HERO (FOR YOU) I’LL BE A HERO A HERO FOR YOU

ALICE turns the key in an imaginary door. The Looking Glass world dissolves, revealing the conference room table where we saw ALICE fall asleep. The UNICORN sits her in the office chair, and CHAZ places Dinah where the doll had been left.

THE HOURS MOVE, THE DAYS GO BY WHY WAIT FOR HEROES TO FALL FROM THE SKY?

THE HOURS MOVE, THE DAYS GO BY I’LL BE YOUR HERO

THE HOURS MOVE, THE DAYS GO BY WHY WAIT FOR HEROES TO FALL…

CHAZ lowers ALICE’s head to the desk and slowly begins to exit.

CHAZ

THE HOURS MOVE, THE DAYS GO BY WHY WAIT FOR HEROES TO FALL FROM THE SKY?

UNICORN and CHAZ exit.

SCENE 8: CONFERENCE ROOM—EVERHEART VIDEO GAMES, INC.

It is morning. We hear the elevator “Ping.” RICHARD HOPPER walks into the conference room, coffee in hand, discovering ALICE still there from the night before. He leans over to gently wake her. SHE lifts her head and sleepily turns to face him.

AHHHHHH!!

ALICE & HOPPER

HOPPER

Jiminy Crickets!! Have you been here all night?? Well at least you’re not late!

HOPPER begins to set up for a video conference. Relieved to see Dinah on the table, ALICE sighs to herself, then… in a panic:

What day is it?

ALICE

HOPPER

It’s tomorrow. I hope you’re ready with your pitch—Everheart will be zooming in in 5. And you’d better call Jack—He called me this morning. Chloe had left her book at your apartment, and they could tell you never made it home. He sounded pretty worried.

#23A—Before Finding Wonderland

ALICE scrambles to find her phone to call JACK.

Elevator SQ.

The JANITOR enters, escorting JACK and CHLOE into the conference room, then exits. CHLOE is wearing her backpack.

ALICE

Chloe? Jack?

CHLOE & JACK (overlapping)

Mom, gosh… ? … are you ok??…

ALICE

I can’t believe you’re here!! I’m sorry I worried you, honey—Mommy has had a lot on her mind lately. I think I had somehow forgotten who I was, but believe me, I’m back, and, I want my family back. Do you think… can we start over?

JACK

Yes?!!

(Music shift cue)

Yes!! But it’s me too—I know I’ve been selfish, and self-absorbed. And I am sorry. I love you, Allie. I always have, and I always will.

The FAMILY hugs—(no kiss here)

I love you—I love you both…

ALICE

HOPPER

Good grief, don’t cry.

(Looking at his watch)

Pigs and pepper! I’m late to another meeting! Good luck, and let me know how it goes with Everheart.

Seeing Dinah, CHLOE goes to pick up her doll. ALICE looks to HOPPER as he exits.

JACK

Listen, we’d better get out of here too—I am sure you have to focus on your pitch. Come on Sweets—you’re late for school.

CHLOE

Good luck, Mom.

THEY start to exit.

No, stay.

(Music shifts)

ALICE

I want you to hear. I can’t play the corporate game anymore—the rat race, the greed. I can’t steal people’s time—and the truth is, that’s what we do. I’ve changed—and I think this company should change too…

(A spontaneous new pitch idea)

I am going to propose a new genre of games that develop the heart—making the company name, “Everheart,” resonate with a whole new directive… Games that require wisdom, teach respect, and build new lines of empathy. I want to create the first, interconnected “World of Mindful Souls.”

CHLOE

Mom—that is fierce!!

JACK

I think you are the cleverest, most inventive, most intuitive, bravest…

(They kiss)

CHLOE drifts to the office window. Silently and unseen, the SNOW ANGEL appears.

CHLOE

Mom, Dad!! Come look! The rain—it’s turned to snow.

(Music mark tree)

JACK and ALICE go to the window to stand with CHLOE, and watch the snow fall—as if seeing snow for the first time while CHLOE speaks.

(Music vamp—open and sensitive)

Do you hear it against the windowpane? How nice and soft it sounds, just as if someone was kissing the window all over outside. I wonder if the snow loves the city… touching the buildings and streets so gently?… quietly covering it up, snug, you know, with a white quilt.

#24—Finding Wonderland

Gazing out, ALICE sees the beauty of the snowfall anew through the eyes of her child, acknowledging life’s simplest of lessons.

ALICE

WE MOVE TOO FAST WE MISS SO MUCH WE SELDOM SEE ALL THE MIRACLES IN FRONT OF US: A WARM EMBRACE A HUMAN TOUCH AND SO IT GOES…

The Wonderland CHARACTERS begin to appear around the stage.

I RACE AROUND SEARCH HIGH AND LOW FOR A TRUTH I USED TO KNOW WHEN THERE WAS MAGIC TO BE FOUND

(ALICE)

‘CAUSE FINDING WONDERLAND IS TAKING TIME TO SEE THE CHILD WITHIN HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE SMILING BACK AT ME

SO WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES I JUST REMEMBER AND… I CAN’T HELP FINDING WONDERLAND

IT’S NOT TOO LATE HERE IN MY PRIME HEARTS CAN UNBREAK IN A STORY’S NICK OF TIME

A HAPPY ENDING—A PERFECT RHYME ‘CAUSE FINDING WONDERLAND IS FINDING WHO YOU ARE THE CHILD WITHIN WHO’S ALWAYS BEEN THERE LIKE A SHINING STAR

SO WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES I SEE FOREVER AND … I KEEP ON FINDING WONDERLAND

ALICE

ORDINARY MAGIC HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE DAY

WONDERLAND IS NEVER FAR AWAY… ‘CAUSE FINDING WONDERLAND IS GOING HOME AGAIN

TO FEEL THE LOVE ANOTHER FEELS AND GIVE IT BACK, AND THEN IF YOU SHOULD LOSE YOUR WAY REACH OUT FOR SOMEONE’S HAND AND YOU’LL BE FINDING WONDERLAND

YOU’LL BE FINDING WONDERLAND

ALL

OOH

AHH FINDING WONDERLAND IS HOME AGAIN TO FEEL THE LOVE AND GIVE IT BACK AGAIN

OH AHH

AHH

END OF PLAY

#25—Bows & Exit