Sweeney Todd Free Read

A Musical Thriller

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

Book by Hugh Wheeler

From an Adaptation by Christopher Bond

Originally Directed by Harold Prince

Orchestrations by Jonathan Tunick

Originally Produced on Broadway by Richard Barr, Charles Woodward, Robert Fryer, Mary Lea Johnson, Martin Richards in association with Dean and Judy Manos

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Libretto Copyright © 1979 by Hugh Wheeler

Music and Lyrics © 1978, 1979 by Revelation Music Publishing Corp. and Rilting Music, Inc.

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SWEENEY TODD

MRS LOVETT

ANTHONY HOPE

JOHANNA

TOBIAS RAGG

JUDGE TURPIN

THE BEADLE

BEGGAR WOMAN

ADOLFO PIRELLI

JONAS FOGG

CoMPaNY:

MEN

WOMEN

CUSTOMERS

LUNATICS

ETC.

L IBRETTO – M USICAL N UMBERS

ACT II

L IBRETTO – S ONGS B Y C HARACTER

BEGGAR WOMAN

1. Prologue: The Ballad of Sweeney

2. No Place Like London

7. Ah, Miss

12. Wait

20. Johanna – Act II Sequence

29b. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd .148

ANTHONYHOPE

1. Prologue: The Ballad of Sweeney

2. No Place Like London

7. Ah, Miss

8. Johanna (Part I)

8a. Johanna (Part II)

13. Kiss Me (Part I)

15. Kiss Me (Part II)

16a. Pretty Women (Part II) . . . . . .71

20. Johanna – Act II Sequence . . . .100

22. Wigmaker’s Sequence . . . . . . .113

27a. Searching (Part II) . . . . . . . . .135

29b. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd .148

JOHANNA

1. Prologue: The Ballad of Sweeney Todd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1

6. Green Finch and Linnet Bird . . .18

7. Ah, Miss .

13. Kiss Me (Part I)

15. Kiss Me (Part II)

20. Johanna – Act II Sequence . . . .100

20a. After Johanna Act II– Sequence .. . .

26. City On Fire

27a. Searching (Part II) . . . . . . . . .135

29b. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd .148

JUDGE TURPIN

ENSEMBLE

1. Prologue: The Ballad of Sweeney Todd

5. My Friends

9. Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir

19. God, That’s Good!

25. Fogg’s Asylum .

25a. Fogg’s Passacaglia

26. City On Fire

27. Searching (Part I)

29b. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd .148

MEMBERS OF THE ENSEMBLE

10b. Ballad of Sweeney Todd . . . . .43

12c. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd . .56

22. Wigmaker Sequence

22a. The Letter

THE PLACE: London: Fleet Street and environs

THE TIME: The 19th Century

(As the audience enters, an organist takes his place at a huge eccentric organ to the side of the stage and begins to play funeral music. Before a front drop depicting in a honeycombed beehive the class system of mid-19th Century England two gravediggers appear, carrying shovels, and begin to dig a grave downstage center. As they dig they disappear six feet into the earth, leaving piles of dirt on the upstage side.

At curtain time a police warden appears, looks at his watch, hurrying them. Two workmen enter. They pull down the drop. The deafeningly shrill sound of a factory whistle. Blackout.

The lights come up to reveal the COMPANY A MAN steps forward and sings)

(A blinding light cuts down the stage as an upstage iron door opens. Two men enter. They carry a body in a bag, tied at both ends with rope They are followed by a woman carrying a tin canister marked “Flour.” They walk to the edge of the grave and unceremoniously dump the body in it The woman opens the canister and pours black ashes into the hole. This action covers the next verse of the song)

C o M P a N Y

S W I N G Y O U R R A Z O R W I D E , S W E E N E Y !

H O L D I T TO T H E S K I E S !

F R E E LY F L O W S T H E B L O O D O F T H O S E

W H O M O R A L I Z E !

(Various members of the COMPANY step forward and sing)

t o B i a S

H I S N E E D S W E R E F E W, H I S R O O M WA S B A R E : M a N ( B a r i t o n e )

A L AVA B O A N D A FA N C Y C H A I R , a N o t H e r M a N ( B a s s )

A M U G O F S U D S A N D A L E AT H E R S T R O P, a d d t e N o r

A N A P R O N , A TO W E L , A PA I L A N D A M O P.

t W o W o M e N ( M e z z o s )

F O R N E AT N E S S H E D E S E RV E S A N O D ,

D O E S S W E E N E Y TO D D ,

C o M P a N Y

T H E D E M O N B A R B E R O F F L E E T S T R E E T

W o M e N

I N C O N S P I C U O U S S W E E N E Y WA S ,

Q U I C K A N D Q U I E T A N D C L E A N ‘ E WA S .

B A C K O F H I S S M I L E , U N D E R H I S W O R D ,

S W E E N E Y H E A R D M U S I C T H AT N O B O D Y H E A R D

S W E E N E Y P O N D E R E D A N D S W E E N E Y P L A N N E D ,

L I K E A P E R F E C T M A C H I N E ‘ E P L A N N E D .

S W E E N E Y WA S S M O O T H , S W E E N E Y WA S S U B T L E ,

S W E E N E Y W O U L D B L I N K A N D R AT S W O U L D S C U T T L E .

(The MEN join in singing, voices overlapping, in a gradual crescendo)

S W E E N E Y !

S W E E N E Y !

S W E E E E E N E E E E E Y !

(TODD rises out of the grave and sings as the COMPANY repeats his words)

t

K A N D A V E N G E F U L G O D

t o d d

N O T S W E E N E Y,

t o d d & C o M P a N Y

N O T S W E E N E Y TO D D ,

T H E D E M O N B A R B E R O F F L E E T S T R E E T.

(The scene blacks out. The bells of a clock tower chime. Early morning light comes up)

(A street by the London docks. SWEENEY TODD and ANTHONY HOPE enter. ANTHONY is a cheerful country-born young ship’s first mate with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. TODD is a heavy-set, saturnine man in his forties who might, say, be a blacksmith or a dockhand. There is about him an air of brooding, slightly nerve-chilling self-absorption)

(sings grimly)

(surprised at the interruption)

Mr. Todd, sir?

t o d d

Y O U A R E Y O U N G

L I F E H A S B E E N K I N D TO Y O U .

Y O U W I L L L E A R N

(music under)

It is here we go our several ways Farewell, Anthony, I will not soon forget the good ship “Bountiful” nor the young man who saved my life.

a N t H o N Y

There’s no cause to thank me for that, sir. It would have been a poor Christian indeed who’d have spotted you pitching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.

t o d d

There’s many a Christian would have done just that and not lost a wink’s sleep for it, either.

(A ragged BEGGAR WOMAN suddenly appears)

B e g g a r W o M a N

(Approaching, holding out a bowl to ANTHONY)

A L M S ! A L M S !

F O R A M I S ’ R A B L E W O M A N

O N A M I S ’ R A B L E C H I L LY M O R N I N G

(ANTHONY drops a coin in her bowl)

T H A N K Y E R , S I R , T H A N K Y E R .

(Softly, suddenly leering in a mad way)

‘ O W W O U L D Y O U L I K E A L I T T L E M U F F, D E A R ,

A L I T T L E J I G J I G ,

A L I T T L E B O U N C E A R O U N D T H E B U S H ?

W O U L D N ’ T Y O U L I K E TO P U S H M E PA R S L E Y ?

Y O U L O O K S TO M E , D E A R

L I K E Y O U G O T P L E N T Y T H E R E TO P U S H !

(As ANTHONY starts back in embarrassment, SHE turns instantly and pathetically to TODD, who tries to keep his back to her)

A L M S ! . . . A L M S ! . . .

F O R A P I T I F U L W O M A N

W O T ’ S G O T WA N D E R I N ’ W I T S

H E Y, D O N ’ T I K N O W Y O U , M I S T E R ?

(SHE peers intently at him)

t o d d

Must you glare at me, woman? Off with you, off, I say!

B e g g a r W o M a N

(Smiling vacantly)

T H E N ‘ O W W O U L D Y O U L I K E TO S P L I T M E M U F F, M I S T E R ?

W E ’ L L G O J I G J I G

A L I T T L E t o d d

(Making a gesture as if to strike her)

Off, I said. To the devil with you!

(She scuttles away, turns to give him a piercing look, then wanders off)

(Singing as SHE goes)

(Music continues under)

(A little bewildered)

Pardon me, sir, but there’s no need to fear the likes of her. She was only a half-crazed beggar woman London’s full of them

(Half to himself, half to ANTHONY)

I beg your indulgence, boy. My mind is far from easy, for in these once-familiar streets I feel the chill of ghostly shadows everywhere Forgive me

There’s nothing to forgive

Farewell, Anthony

Mr Todd, before we part

(Suddenly fierce)

What is it?

I have honored my promise never to question you. Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair And yet, during those many weeks of the voyage home, I have come to think of you as friend and, if trouble lies ahead for you in London ... if you need help or money ...

(Almost shouting)

No!

(ANTHONY starts, perplexed; TODD makes a placating gesture, sings quietly and intensely)

( t o d d )

I N H A B I T I T

A N D I T S M O R A L S A R E N ’ T W O RT H

W H AT A P I G C O U L D S P I T

A N D I T G O E S B Y T H E N A M E O F L O N D O N

AT T H E TO P O F T H E H O L E

S I T T H E P R I V I L E G E D F E W,

M A K I N G M O C K O F T H E V E R M I N

I N T H E L O W E R Z O O ,

T U R N I N G B E A U T Y I N TO F I LT H A N D G R E E D

I TO O

H AV E S A I L E D T H E W O R L D A N D S E E N I T S W O N D E R S ,

F O R T H E C R U E LT Y O F M E N

I S A S W O N D R O U S A S P E R U ,

B U T T H E R E ’ S N O P L A C E L I K E L O N D O N !

(Pause, music under, then as if in a trance)

T H E R E WA S A B A R B E R A N D H I S W I F E

A N D S H E WA S B E A U T I F U L .

A F O O L I S H B A R B E R A N D H I S W I F E

S H E WA S H I S R E A S O N A N D H I S L I F E ,

A N D S H E WA S B E A U T I F U L .

A N D S H E WA S V I RT U O U S

A N D H E WA S

(Shrugs)

N A I V E

T H E R E WA S A N O T H E R M A N W H O S AW

T H AT S H E WA S B E A U T I F U L

A P I O U S V U LT U R E O F T H E L AW

W H O W I T H A G E S T U R E O F H I S C L AW

R E M O V E D T H E B A R B E R F R O M H I S P L AT E

T H E N T H E R E WA S N O T H I N G B U T TO WA I T

A N D S H E W O U L D FA L L .

S O S O F T,

S O Y O U N G ,

S O L O S T

A N D O H , S O B E A U T I F U L !

(Pauses, music under)

And the lady, sir did she succumb?

(Music under)

Now, leave me, Anthony, I beg of you. There’s somewhere I must go, something I must find out. Now. And alone.

But surely we will meet again before I’m off to Plymouth!

If you want, you may well find me. Around Fleet Street, I wouldn’t wonder.

Well, until then, Mr. Todd.

(ANTHONY starts off down the street. TODD stands a moment alone in thought, then starts down the street in the opposite direction)

(As TODD disappears, we see Mrs. Lovett’s Pieshop. Above it is an empty apartment which is reached by an outside staircase MRS LOVETT, a vigorous, slatternly woman in her forties, is flicking flies off the trays of pies with a dirty rag as SHE sings or hums. TODD appears at the end of the street and moves slowly toward the pieshop, looking around as if remembering. Seeing the pieshop, HE pauses a moment at some distance, gazing at it and at MRS. LOVETT, who has now picked up a wicked-looking knife and starts chopping suet. After a beat, TODD moves toward the shop, hesitates and then enters. MRS. LOVETT does not notice him until his shadow passes across her. SHE looks up, knife in air, and screams, freezing him in his tracks)

A customer!

(TODD has started out in alarm.)

WA

(SHE sticks the knife into the counter)

Y

(SHE wipes her hands on her apron)

F

S

(Forcefully) S

(TODD

(SHE plucks something off a pie, holds it up)

W H AT I S T H AT ?

B U T Y O U ’ D T H I N K W E H A D T H E P L A G U E

(SHE drops it on the floor and stamps on it)

F R O M T H E WAY T H AT P E O P L E

(SHE flicks something off a pie with her finger)

K E E P AV O I D I N G

(Spotting it moving)

N O Y O U D O N ’ T !

(SHE smacks it with her hand)

H E AV E N K N O W S I T RY, S I R !

(Lifts her hand, looks at it)

Y I C H !

(SHE wipes it on the edge of the counter) B

( M r S . L o V e t t )

(SHE blows the last dust off the pie as SHE brings it to him)

R I G H T Y O U A R E , S I R W O U L D Y O U L I K E A D R O P O F A L E ?

(TODD nods)

M I N D Y O U , I C A N ’ T H A R D LY B L A M E T H E M

(Pouring a tankard of ale)

T H E S E A R E P R O B A B LY T H E W O R S T P I E S I N L O N D O N

I K N O W W H Y N O B O D Y C A R E S TO TA K E T H E M

I S H O U L D K N O W,

I M A K E T H E M

B U T G O O D ? N O ,

T H E W O R S T P I E S I N L O N D O N

E V E N T H AT ’ S P O L I T E

T H E W O R S T P I E S I N L O N D O N

I F Y O U D O U B T I T, TA K E A B I T E .

(HE does)

I S T H AT J U S T D I S G U S T I N G ?

Y O U H AV E TO C O N C E D E I T.

I T ’ S N O T H I N G B U T C R U S T I N G

H E R E , D R I N K T H I S , Y O U ’ L L N E E D I T

(SHE puts the ale in front of him)

T H E W O R S T P I E S I N L O N D O N

(During the following, SHE slams lumps of dough on the counter and rolls them out, grunting frequently as SHE goes)

A N D N O W O N D E R W I T H T H E P R I C E O F

M E AT W H AT I T I S

(grunt)

(grunt)

(grunt)

W H E N Y O U G E T I T.

N E V E R

T H O U G H T I ’ D L I V E TO S E E T H E D AY M E N ’ D T H I N K I T WA S A

T R E AT F I N D I N G P O O R

(grunt)

(grunt)

A N I M A L S

( M r S . L o V e t t )

W O T A R E D Y I N G I N T H E S T R E E T

M R S M O O N E Y H A S A P I E S H O P

D O E S A B U S I N E S S , B U T I N O T I C E S O M E T H I N G W E I R D

L AT E LY A L L H E R N E I G H B O R S ’ C AT S H AV E D I S A P P E A R E D

H AV E TO H A N D I T TO H E R

W O T I C A L L S

E N T E R P R I S E

P O P P I N G P U S S I E S I N TO P I E S

W O U L D N ’ T D O I N M Y S H O P

J U S T T H E T H O U G H T O F I T ’ S E N O U G H TO M A K E Y O U S I C K

A N D I ’ M T E L L I N G Y O U T H E M P U S S Y C AT S I S Q U I C K

N O D E N Y I N G T I M E S I S H A R D , S I R

E V E N H A R D E R T H A N

T H E W O R S T P I E S I N L O N D O N

O N LY L A R D A N D N O T H I N G M O R E

(As TODD gamely tries another mouthful)

I S T H AT J U S T R E V O LT I N G ?

A L L G R E A S Y A N D G R I T T Y,

I T L O O K S L I K E I T ’ S M O LT I N G ,

A N D TA S T E S L I K E

W E L L , P I T Y

A W O M A N A L O N E

W I T H L I M I T E D W I N D

A N D T H E W O R S T P I E S I N L O N D O N !

(Sighs heavily)

A H S I R ,

T I M E S I S H A R D . T I M E S I S H A R D .

(SHE finishes one of the crusts with a flourish, then notices TODD having difficulty with his pie)

Spit it out, dear. Go on. On the floor. There’s worse things than that down there.

(as HE does)

That’s my boy. t o d d

Isn’t that a room up there over the shop? If times are so hard, why don’t you rent it out? That should bring in something

Up there? Oh, no one will go near it People think it’s haunted You see years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.

(Music continues under)

Barker, his name was — Benjamin

Transported? What was his crime?

Foolishness.

(As SHE sings, her narration is acted out. First we see the pretty young WIFE in the empty upstairs room dancing her household chores During the following the JUDGE and his obsequious assistant, the BEADLE, approach the house, gazing up at the WIFE lecherously. The WIFE remains demure, sewing. The WIFE’s part is mimed by the actress playing JOHANNA)

(Far upstage, in very dim light, shapes appear. A swirl of cloth, glints of jewels, the faces of people masked as animals and demons During the following lyric, the WIFE takes an imaginary baby from an imaginary cot and sits on the floor, cradling it in her arms as SHE sobs)

.

(Again the shapes appear, this time a bit, more distinctly. MRS. LOVETT speaks, musingly)

Johanna, that was the baby’s name Pretty little Johanna

(Drifts off in reminiscence)

(Eyeing TODD sharply)

My, you do like a good story, don’t you?

(The BEADLE reappears, gazing up at the WIFE, miming in a solicitous manner for her to come down. MRS. LOVETT, warming to the tale, sings)

(Excited, almost gleeful)

(The shapes are now clear. A ball is in progress at the JUDGE’s house: the COMPANY, wearing grotesque masks, is dancing a slow minuet The BEADLE, leading the WIFE, appears, moving with her, through the dancers. HE gives her champagne SHE looks dazedly around, terrified)

( M r S . L o V e t t )

T

“

(During the following, the JUDGE appears, tears off his mask, then his cloak, revealing himself naked. SHE screams as HE reaches for her, struggling wildly as the BEADLE hurls her to the floor. HE holds her there as the JUDGE mounts her and the masked dancers pirouette around the ravishment giggling)

H

(A wild shout)

Would no one have mercy on her?

(The dumb show vanishes. TODD and MRS. LOVETT gaze at each other)

(Coolly)

So it is you Benjamin Barker.

(Frighteningly vehement)

Not Barker! Not Barker! Todd now! Sweeney Todd! Where is she?

So changed! Good God, what did they do to you down there in bloody Australia or wherever?

Where is my wife? Where’s Lucy?

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

She poisoned herself Arsenic from the apothecary on the corner I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen to me.

t o d d

And my daughter?

Johanna? He’s got her.

He? Judge Turpin?

M r S . L o V e t t

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

Even he had a conscience tucked away, I suppose. Adopted her like his own. You could say it was good luck for her... almost.

t o d d

Fifteen years sweating in a living hell on a trumped up charge. Fifteen years dreaming that, perhaps, I might come home to a loving wife and child.

(TODD strikes ferociously on the pie counter with his fists)

Let them quake in their boots — Judge Turpin and the Beadle — for their hour has come.

M r S . L o V e t t

(Awed)

You’re going to — get ‘em? You? A bleeding little nobody of a runaway convict? Don’t make me laugh. You’ll never get His ‘Igh and Mightiness! Nor the Beadle neither Not in a million years

(No reaction from TODD)

You got any money?

(Still no reaction)

Listen to me! You got any money?

t o d d No money

M r S . L o V e t t

Then how you going to live even?

t o d d

I’ll live If I have to sweat in the sewers or in the plague hospital, I’ll live and I’ll have them.

Oh, you poor thing! You poor thing!

(A sudden thought)

Wait!

(SHE disappears behind a curtained entrance leading to her parlor. For a beat TODD stands alone, almost exalted. MRS. LOVETT returns with a razor case. SHE holds it out to him)

See! It don’t have to be the sewers or the plague hospital. When they come for the little girl, I hid ‘ em. I thought, who knows? Maybe the poor silly blighter ’ll be back again someday and need ‘ em. Cracked in the head, wasn’t I? Times as bad as they are, I could have got five, maybe ten quid for ‘ em, any day See? You can be a barber again.

(Music beings. SHE opens the case for him to look inside. TODD stands a long moment gazing down at the case)

My, them handles is chased silver, ain’t they?

Silver, yes

(Quietly, looking into the box)

up a small razor)

(Holds it to his ear, feeling the edge with his thumb)

# 5 M y F r i e n d s

( t o d d )

A N D W E ’ R E TO G E T H E R ,

A N D W E ’ L L D O W O N D E R S ,

W O N ’ T W E ?

(MRS. LOVETT, who has been looking over his shoulder, starts to feel his other ear lightly, absently, in her own trance. TODD lays the razor back in the box and picks out a larger one. THEY sing simultaneously)

t o d d

Y O U T H E R E , M Y F R I E N D

C O M E , L E T M E H O L D Y O U

N O W, W I T H A S I G H

Y O U G R O W WA R M

I N M Y H A N D ,

M Y F R I E N D ,

M Y C L E V E R F R I E N D

(Putting it back)

R E S T N O W, M Y F R I E N D S .

S O O N I ’ L L U N F O L D Y O U

S O O N Y O U ’ L L K N O W S P L E N D O R S

Y O U N E V E R H AV E D R E A M E D

A L L Y O U R D AY S ,

M Y L U C K Y F R I E N D S

T I L L N O W Y O U R S H I N E

WA S M E R E LY S I LV E R

F R I E N D S ,

Y O U S H A L L D R I P R U B I E S .

Y O U ’ L L S O O N D R I P P R E C I O U S

R U B I E S

M r S . L o V e t t

I ’ M Y O U R F R I E N D TO O , M R . TO D D .

I F Y O U O N LY K N E W, M R TO D D

O O H , M R . TO D D .

Y O U ’ R E WA R M

I N M Y H A N D

Y O U ’ V E C O M E H O M E .

A LWAY S H A D A F O N D N E S S F O R Y O U ,

I D I D

N E V E R Y O U F E A R , M R TO D D ,

Y O U C A N M O V E I N H E R E , M R TO D D

S P L E N D O R S Y O U N E V E R H AV E D R E A M E D .

A L L Y O U R D AY S

W I L L B E Y O U R S

I ’ M Y O U R F R I E N D , A N D Y O U ’ R E M I N E !

D O N ’ T T H E Y S H I N E B E A U T I F U L ?

S I LV E R ’ S G O O D E N O U G H F O R M E ,

M R . T.

(TODD holds up the biggest razor to the light as the music soars sweetly, then stops. HE speaks into the silence)

t o d d

At last, my right arm is complete again!

(Lights dim except for a scalding spot on the razor as music blares forth from both the organ and the orchestra. The COMPANY, including the JUDGE and the BEADLE, appears and sings)

C o M P a N Y

L I F T Y O U R R A Z O R H I G H , S W E E N E Y !

H E A R I T S I N G I N G , “ Y E S ! ”

S I N K I T I N T H E R O S Y S K I N

O F R I G H T E O U S N E S S !

B e a d L e

H I S V O I C E WA S S O F T, H I S M A N N E R M I L D , F o u r W o M e N

H E S E L D O M L A U G H E D B U T H E O F T E N S M I L E D . M a N ( B a s s )

H E ’ D S E E N H O W C I V I L I Z E D M E N B E H AV E

H E N E V E R F O R G O T A N D H E N E V E R F O R G AV E ,

C o M P a N Y

N O T S W E E N E Y,

N O T S W E E N E Y TO D D ,

t W o M e N ( B a s s & t e n o r )

T H E D E M O N B A R B E R O F F L E E T S T R E E T. . .

# 6 G r e e n F i n c h a n d L i n n e t B i r d

(THEY disappear. There is a moment of darkness in which we hear the trilling and twittering of songbirds. Light comes up on the facade of JUDGE TURPIN’s mansion.

A BIRD SELLER enters carrying a bizarre construction of little wicker birdcages tied together. It is in these that the birds are singing. At an upper level of the JUDGE’s mansion appears a very young, exquisitely beautiful girl with a long mane of shining blonde hair. This is JOHANNA. For a moment SHE stands disconsolate, then her eyes fall on the birds)

j o H a N N a

And how are they today?

Hungry as always, Miss Johanna.

(HE lifts the cages up to her)

B i r d S e L L e r

( j o H a N N a )

S I T T I N G I N C A G E S ,

N E V E R TA K I N G W I N G ?

O U T S I D E T H E S K Y WA I T S ,

B E C K O N I N G , B E C K O N I N G ,

J U S T B E Y O N D T H E B A R S

H O W C A N Y O U R E M A I N ,

S TA R I N G AT T H E R A I N ,

M A D D E N E D B Y T H E S TA R S ?

H O W I S I T Y O U S I N G A N Y T H I N G ?

H O W I S I T Y O U S I N G ?

G R E E N F I N C H A N D L I N N E T B I R D ,

N I G H T I N G A L E , B L A C K B I R D ,

H O W I S I T Y O U S I N G ?

W H E N C E C O M E S T H I S M E L O D Y C O N S TA N T LY F L O W I N G ?

I S I T R E J O I C I N G O R M E R E LY H A L L O I N G ?

A R E Y O U D I S C U S S I N G O R F U S S I N G

O R S I M P LY D R E A M I N G ?

A R E Y O U C R O W I N G ?

A R E Y O U S C R E A M I N G ?

R I N G D O V E A N D R O B I N E T,

I S I T F O R WA G E S ,

S I N G I N G TO B E S O L D ?

H AV E Y O U D E C I D E D I T ’ S

S A F E R I N C A G E S ,

S I N G I N G W H E N Y O U ’ R E TO L D ?

(ANTHONY enters. Instantly HE sees her and stands transfixed by her beauty)

M Y C A G E H A S M A N Y R O O M S ,

D A M A S K A N D D A R K .

N O T H I N G T H E R E S I N G S ,

N O T E V E N M Y L A R K

L A R K S N E V E R W I L L , Y O U K N O W,

W H E N T H E Y ’ R E C A P T I V E

T E A C H M E TO B E M O R E A D A P T I V E

G R E E N F I N C H A N D L I N N E T B I R D ,

N I G H T I N G A L E , B L A C K B I R D ,

T E A C H M E H O W TO S I N G .

( j o H a N N a )

I F I C A N N O T F LY,

L E T M E S I N G

(SHE gazes into the middle distance disconsolately)

# 7 A h , M i s s a N t H o N Y

(Gazing at her, sings softly)

I H AV E S A I L E D T H E W O R L D ,

B E H E L D I T S W O N D E R S ,

F R O M T H E P E A R L S O F S PA I N

TO T H E R U B I E S O F T I B E T,

B U T N O T E V E N I N L O N D O N

H AV E I S E E N S U C H A W O N D E R

(Breathlessly)

L A D Y L O O K AT M E L O O K AT M E M I S S , O H

L O O K AT M E P L E A S E O H

FAV O R M E FAV O R M E W I T H Y O U R G L A N C E

A H , M I S S ,

W H AT D O Y O U W H AT D O Y O U S E E O F F

T H E R E I N T H O S E T R E E S O H

W O N ’ T Y O U G I V E W O N ’ T Y O U G I V E M E A C H A N C E ?

W H O W O U L D S A I L TO S PA I N

F O R A L L I T S W O N D E R S ,

W H E N I N K E A R N E Y ’ S L A N E

L I E S T H E G R E AT E S T W O N D E R Y E T ?

A H , M I S S ,

L O O K AT Y O U L O O K AT Y O U PA L E A N D

I V O RY- S K I N N E D O H

L O O K AT Y O U L O O K I N G S O S A D S O Q U E E R .

P R O M I S E

N O T TO R E T R E AT TO T H E D A R K N E S S

B A C K O F Y O U R W I N D O W

N O T T I L L Y O U N O T T I L L Y O U L O O K D O W N H E R E

L O O K AT

a N t H o N Y

M E !

L O O K AT

M E !

L O O K AT M E

j o H a N N a

G R E E N F I N C H A N D L I N N E T B I R D ,

N I G H T I N G A L E , B L A C K B I R D ,

T E A C H M E H O W TO S I N G

I F I C A N N O T F LY. . .

L E T M E S I N G

(As JOHANNA turns to go inside, their eyes meet and the song dies on their lips. A hushed moment. Then suddenly a clawlike hand darts out from a pile of trash.

ANTHONY jumps and looks down to see the BEGGAR WOMAN, who has been sleeping in the garbage under a discarded shawl, thrusting her bowl at him.

JOHANNA, frightened, slips back out of sight)

B e g g a r W o M a N

A L M S ! . . . A

F

(ANTHONY hurriedly digs out a coin and drops it in her bowl; SHE peers at him)

B

T

(ANTHONY turns back to discover JOHANNA gone and the window shut The BEGGAR WOMAN starts off)

One moment, mother

(SHE turns)

Perhaps you know whose house this is?

B e g g a r W o M a N

That! That’s the great Judge Turpin’s house, that is a N t H o N Y

And the young lady who resides there?

B e g g a r W o M a N

Ah, her! That’s Johanna, his pretty little ward

(Slyly confidential)

But don’t you go trespassing there, young man Not if you value your hide

(SHE nods her head)

Tamper there and it’s a good whipping for you or any other youth with mischief on his mind.

(Leers at him)

H

(SHE grabs at his crotch and starts to dance around him grotesquely, lifting her skirts. ANTHONY is appalled. HE pulls coins out of his pocket and tosses them to her)

Here and here and here. Take it and off with you. Off!

(The BEGGAR WOMAN, cackling, collects the coins and scampers off. ANTHONY turns back to the house, gazes up at the window. The noise has frightened the birds, who start screeching. ANTHONY becomes aware of them and moves over to the now sleeping BIRD SELLER, shakes him awake, and inspects the cages)

Which one sings the sweetest?

All’s the same, sir Six pence and cheap at the price

(ANTHONY selects one, gives the man a coin, holds up the cage)

He sings bravely.

(Watches the cage)

But why does he batter his wings so wildly against the bars? B

We blind ‘ em, sir. That’s what we always does. Blind ‘ em and, not knowing night from day, they sing and sing without stopping, pretty creatures.

(HE gets up, slinging the cages on his back and starts off)

Have pleasure of the bird, sir.

(HE exits. JOHANNA reappears at the window. ANTHONY holds up the cage, indicating it is a present and SHE should come down to get it. SHE hesitates, smiles, nods, disappears from the window HE waits Shyly, almost furtively, JOHANNA slips out of the door and stands there. HE moves toward her, holding out the cage. Slowly her hand goes out toward him Their fingers touch)

I WA

S AT I S F I E D E N O U G H TO D R E A M Y O U

H A P P I LY I WA S M I S TA K E N ,

J O H A N N A !

I ’ L L S T E A L Y O U ,

J O H A N N A ,

I ’ L L S T E A L Y O U

(THEY stand so absorbed with each other that THEY do not notice the approach of JUDGE TURPIN, followed by the BEADLE)

j u d g e

(Shouting)

Johanna! Johanna!

Oh, dear!

j o H a N N a

(Forgetting the bird cage, JOHANNA scurries toward the house. ANTHONY turns to find the JUDGE glaring at him)

j u d g e

If I see your face again on this or any other neighbor street, you’ll rue the day you were born Is that plain enough speaking for you?

a N t H o N Y

But, sir, I swear to you there was nothing in my heart but the most respectful sentiments of

j u d g e

(To BEADLE)

Dispose of him!

(HE strides toward the house)

Oh dear! I knew!

j o H a N N a

B e a d L e

(Fondling the truncheon, to ANTHONY)

You heard His Worship.

But, friend, I have no fight with you.

a N t H o N Y

(The BEADLE takes the cage from him, opens its door, takes out the bird, wrings its neck and then tosses it away)

Get the gist of it, friend? Next time, it’ll be your neck!

(HE starts after the JUDGE and JOHANNA)

j u d g e

Johanna, if I were to think you encouraged that young rogue...

j o H a N N a

Oh father, I hope always to be obedient to your commands.

j u d g e

(Relenting, patting her cheek)

Dear child

(Gazing at her lustfully)

How sweet you look in that light muslin gown

(SHE runs into the house, the JUDGE after her The BEADLE follows ANTHONY is left alone, the empty cage in his hand)

# 8 a J o h a n n a ( P a r t I I )

J O H A N N A ,

A N D O N E D AY

I ’ L L S T E A L Y O U

T I L L I ’ M W I T H Y

I ’ M W I T H Y O U T H E R

(HE smashes the cage, throws it away and exits Light fades on him and comes up to reveal St. Dunstan’s Marketplace. A hand-drawn caravan, painted like a Sicilian donkey cart, stands on the street. On its side is written in ornate script: SIGNOR

ADOLPHO PIRELLI HAIRCUTTER-BARBER-TOOTHPULLER TO HIS ROYAL MAJESTY THE KING OF NAPLES and under this: BANISH BALDNESS WITH PIRELLI’S MIRACLE ELIXIR

The BEADLE is strolling around, pompously patrolling his district. TODD and MRS. LOVETT enter. TODD is carrying his razor case. MRS. LOVETT has a shopping basket)

t o d d

(Pointing at the caravan)

That’s him? Over there?

M r S . L o V e t t

Yes, dear He’s always here Thursdays

(Reading the sign)

t o d d

Haircutter, barber, toothpuller to His Royal Majesty the King of Naples.

M r S . L o V e t t

Eyetalian. All the rage, he is.

Not for long.

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

Oh Mr. T., you really think you can do it?

t o d d

By tomorrow they’ll all be flocking after me like sheep to be shorn.

M r S . L o V e t t

(Sees BEADLE)

Oh no! Look The Beadle Beadle Bamford

t o d d

So much the better

M r S . L o V e t t

But what if he recognizes you? Hadn’t we better ?

t o d d

I will do what I have set out to do, woman

M r S . L o V e t t

Oops Sorry, dear, I’m sure

(TOBIAS, PIRELLI’s adolescent, simple-minded assistant, appears through a curtain at the rear of the caravan, beating on a tin drum. A factory whistle blows and a crowd of people comes running on, gathering around him)

t o B i a S

L A D I E S A N D G E N T L E M E N !

M AY I H AV E Y O U R AT T E N T I O N , P E R L E A S E ?

D O Y O U WA K E E V E RY M O R N I N G I N S H A M E A N D D E S PA I R

TO D I S C O V E R Y O U R P I L L O W I S C O V E R E D W I T H H A I R

W O T O U G H T N O T TO B E T H E R E ?

W E L L , L A D I E S A N D G E N T L E M E N ,

F R O M N O W O N Y O U C A N WA K E N W I T H E A S E

Y O U N E E D N E V E R A G A I N H AV E A W O R RY O R C A R E ,

I W I L L S H O W Y O U A M I R A C L E M A RV E L O U S R A R E

G E N T L E M E N , Y O U A R E A B O U T TO S E E S O M E T H I N G T H AT R O S E F R O M T H E D E A D . . .

(A WOMAN gasps HE smiles and wiggles his finger “ no”)

O N T H E TO P O F M Y H E A D

S C A R C E LY A M O N T H A G O , G E N T L E M E N ,

I WA S S U D D E N LY S T R U C K W I T H A R A R E

O R I E N TA L D I S E A S E

T H O U G H T H E F I N E S T P H Y S I C I A N S I N L O N D O N W E R E C A L L E D ,

I AWA K E N E D O N E M O R N I N G A M A Z E D A N D A P PA L L E D

TO D I S C O V E R W I T H D R E A D T H AT M Y H E A D WA S A S B A L D

A S A N O V I C E ’ S K N E E S .

I WA S D Y I N G O F S H A M E

T I L L A G E N T L E M A N C A M E ,

A N I L L U S T R I O U S B A R B E R , P I R E L L I B Y N A M E .

H E G I V E M E A L I Q U I D A S P R E C I O U S A S G O L D ,

I R U B B E D I T I N D A I LY L I K E W O T I WA S TO L D ,

A N D B E H O L D !

(Doffs his cap dramatically, revealing mountains of hair which cascade to his shoulders)

L E S S T H A N T H I RT Y D AY S O L D !

‘ T WA S P I R E L L I ’ S

M I R A C L E E L I X I R ,

T H AT ’ S W O T D I D T H E T R I C K , S I R ,

T R U E , S I R , T R U E

WA S I T Q U I C K , S I R ?

D I D I T I N A T I C K , S I R ,

J U S T L I K E A N E L I X I R

O U G H T TO D O !

( t o B i a S )

(To FIRST MAN)

H O W A B O U T A B O T T L E , M I S T E R ?

O N LY C O S T S A P E N N Y, G U A R A N T E E D .

(Simultaneously)

C r o W d

F i r S t M a N :

P E N N Y B U Y S A B O T T L E , I D O N ’ T K N O W

S e C o N d M a N :

Y O U D O N ’ T N E E D

F i r S t M a N :

A H , L E T ’ S G O !

(Starts to leave)

t o B i a S :

(To THIRD MAN)

G O A H E A D A N D T U G , S I R .

t H i r d M a N :

P E N N Y F O R A B O T T L E , I S I T ?

t o B i a S :

G O A H E A D , S I R , H A R D E R

(Stopping the FIRST MAN, who’s quite bald, by pouring a drop on his head)

D O E S P I R E L L I ’ S

S T I M U L AT E T H E G R O W T H , S I R ?

Y O U C A N H AV E M Y O AT H , S I R ,

‘ T I S U N I Q U E

(Takes the man ’ s hand and gently applies it to the wet spot)

R U B A M I N U T E .

S T I M U L AT I N ’ , I ’ N ’ I T ?

S O O N Y O U ’ L L H AV E TO T H I N I T

O N C E A W E E K !

P E N N Y B U Y S A B O T T L E , G U A R A N T E E D !

(Simultaneously)

C r o W d

F i r S t M a N :

(To SECOND MAN)

P E N N Y B U Y S A B O T T L E , M I G H T A S W E L L

(Looks hesitantly to SECOND MAN)

t H i r d M a N :

W O T C H E R T H I N K ?

S e C o N d W o M a N :

G O A H E A D A N D T RY I T, W O T T H E H E L L

t o B i a S :

(To OTHERS)

‘ O W A B O U T A S A M P L E ? H AV E Y O U E V E R S M E L L E D A C L E A N E R S M E L L ?

F i r S t W o M a N :

(To THIRD MAN)

I S N ’ T I T A C R I M E T H E Y L E T T H E S E U R C H I N S C L O G T H E PAV E M E N T S ?

F o u r t H M a N :

P E N N Y B U Y S A B O T T L E , D O E S I T ?

t o B i a S :

(To SECOND MAN)

T H AT ’ S E N O U G H , S I R , A M P L E .

G E N T LY D A B I T

G E T S TO B E A H A B I T.

S O O N T H E R E ’ L L B E E N O U G H , S I R ,

S O M E B O D Y C A N G R A B I T

(Points to a man standing nearby)

S E E T H AT C H A P W I T H

H A I R L I K E S H E L L E Y ’ S ?

Y O U C A N T E L L ‘ E ’ S

U S E D P I R E L L I ’ S !

(Simultaneously)

C r o W d

F i r S t M a N :

L E T M E H AV E A B O T T L E .

S e C o N d M a N :

M A K E T H AT T W O .

(FIRST MAN buys bottles for both, gets change)

F i r S t W o M a N

T H E N A G A I N I C O U L D G E T S O M E F O R H A R RY. . .

S e C o N d W o M a N :

N O T H I N G W O R K S O N H A R RY, D E A R . B Y E B Y E .

t o B i a S :

G O A H E A D A N D F E E L , M U M

A B S O L U T E LY R E A L , M U M . . .

S e C o N d M a N :

(To FIRST MAN)

H O W A B O U T A B E E R ?

Y O U K N O W A P U B ?

F i r S t M a N :

S e C o N d M a N :

T H E R E ’ S O N E C L O S E B Y.

F i r S t W o M a N :

(To SECOND WOMAN)

Y O U G O T A L L T H E H A I R Y O U N E E D N O W.

t H i r d M a N :

T H AT ’ S N O L I E .

F o u r t H M a N :

PA S S I T B Y

t H i r d W o M a N :

I ’ M J U S T PA S S I N G B Y

t o d d :

(Loudly to MRS. LOVETT)

PA R D O N M E , M A’ A M , W H AT ’ S T H AT AW F U L S T E N C H ?

M U S T B E S TA N D I N G N E A R A N O P E N T R E N C H ?

M r S . L o V e t t :

A R E W E S TA N D I N G N E A R A N O P E N T R E N C H ?

PA R D O N M E , S I R , W H AT ’ S T H AT AW F U L S T E N C H ?

t o B i a S :

B U Y P I R E L L I ’ S M I R A C L E E L I X I R :

A N Y T H I N G W O T ' S ' S L I C K , S I R ,

S O O N S P R O U T S C U R L S

T RY P I R E L L I ’ S !

W H E N T H E Y S E E H O W T H I C K , S I R ,

Y O U C A N H AV E Y O U R P I C K , S I R ,

O F T H E G I R L S !

(To FOURTH WOMAN)

WA N T TO B U Y A B O T T L E , M I S S U S ?

C r o W d

(Simultaneously)

t o d d :

(Sniffing FIRST MAN’s bottle)

W H AT I S T H I S ?

M r S . L o V e t t :

(Examining THIRD MAN’s bottle)

W H AT I S T H I S ?

F i r S t M a N :

P R O PA G AT E S T H E H A I R , S I R .

F o u r t H M a N :

I ’ L L TA K E O N E !

(Hands bottle back distastefully)

S M E L L S L I K E P I S S .

t o d d :

M r S . L o V e t t :

S M E L L S L I K E P H E W !

S e C o N d M a N :

H E S AY S I T S M E L L S L I K E P I S S

t o d d :

L O O K S L I K E P I S S .

M r S . L o V e t t :

W O U L D N ’ T TO U C H I T I F I WA S Y O U , D E A R !

M e N :

(To THIRD MAN)

W O T C H E R T H I N K ?

(Nods)

t o d d :

T H I S I S P I S S . P I S S W I T H I N K ,

S e C o N d W o M a N & F i F t H M a N :

S AY S I T S M E L L S L I K E P I S S O R S O M E T H I N G

t o B i a S :

P E N N Y F O R A B O T T L E

H AV E Y O U E V E R S M E L L E D A C L E A N E R S M E L L ?

H O W A B O U T A S A M P L E ? . . .

H O W A B O U T A S A M P L E , M I S T E R ?

M e N & W o M e N :

L E T M E S M E L L T H AT B O T T L E .

I D O N ’ T WA N T N O I N K P I S S !

W H AT I S T H I S ?

W o M e N :

G I V E U S B A C K O U R M O N E Y !

M e N :

W H AT D O E S T H AT S M E L L L I K E TO Y O U , M A’ A M ?

M r S . L o V e t t :

G I V E ‘ E M B A C K T H E I R M O N E Y !

t o B i a S

(Trying to calm them, gesturing to TODD)

N E V E R M I N D T H AT M A D M A N , M I S T E R

N E V E R M I N D T H E M A D M A N

t o d d & M r S . L o V e t t

W H E R E I S T H I S P I R E L L I ?

C r o W d

Y E A H , W H E R E I S T H I S P I R E L L I ?

t o B i a S

(Desperately, beating the drum out of rhythm)

L E T P I R E L L I ’ S A C T I VAT E Y O U R R O O T S , S I R

t o d d

K E E P I T O F F Y O U R B O O T S , S I R

E AT S R I G H T T H R O U G H

G O A N D G E T P I R E L L I !

C r o W d

t o B i a S

Y E S , G E T P I R E L L I ’ S !

U S E A B O T T L E O F I T !

L A D I E S S E E M TO L O V E I T M r S . L o V e t t

F L I E S D O , TO O !

(CROWD laughs uproariously)

C r o W d

H A N D T H E B L O O D Y M O N E Y O V E R !

H A N D T H E B L O O D Y M O N E Y O V E R !

t o B i a S

(Frenetically fast, looking desperately toward the curtain)

S E E P I R E L L I ’ S

M I R A C L E E L I X I R

G R O W A L I T T L E W I C K , S I R ,

T H E N S O M E F U Z Z

T H E P I R E L L I ’ S !

S O O N ’ L L M A K E I T T H I C K , S I R ,

L I K E A G O O D E L I X I R

A LWAY S D O E S !

T R U S T P I R E L L I ’ S !

I F Y O U R H A I R I S S I C K , S I R ,

F I X I T I N A N I C K , S I R ,

D O N ’ T L O O K G R I M

J U S T P I R E L L I ’ S

( t o B i a S )

M I R A C L E E L I X I R ,

T H AT ’ L L D O T H E T R I C K , S I R

3 M e N

W H AT A B O U T T H E M O N E Y ?

t o B i a S

I F Y O U ’ V E G O T A K I C K , S I R

C r o W d

(Individuals, building to a shout)

W H AT A B O U T T H E M O N E Y ?

W H E R E I S T H I S P I R E L L I ?

G O A N D G E T P I R E L L I !

W H AT A B O U T O U R M O N E Y ?

t o B i a S

T E L L I T TO T H E M I X E R

O F T H E M I R A C L E E L I X I R

I F Y O U ’ V E G O T A K I C K , S I R

C r o W d

G O A N D G E T P I R E L L I !

W H AT A B O U T I T ?

W H E R E I S T H I S P I R E L L I ?

t o B i a S

(Desperately yanks the curtain aside, revealing PIRELLI, an excessively flamboyant Italian with a glittering suit, thick wavy hair and a dazzling smile the CROWD falls silent, stunned. TOBIAS collapses, exhausted)

TA L K TO H I M !

# 9 a P i r e l l i ’ s E n t r a n c e P

(Bows and poses splendidly for a moment, in one hand an ornate razor, in the other a sinister-looking tooth-extractor; sings)

(HE does)

I do.

(HE holds up the bottle of elixir)

I am Mr. Sweeney Todd and I have opened a bottle of Pirelli’s Elixir, and I say to you it is nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted from piss and ink.

(MRS. LOVETT takes the bottle from TODD, sniffs it)

He’s right. Phew! Better to throw your money down the sewer.

(SHE tosses the bottle to the ground. The ONLOOKERS “ooh and aah” with shocked excitement)

t o B i a S

(Beating agitatedly on the drum, shouting)

Ladies and gentlemen, pay no attention to that madman Who’s to be the first for a magnificent shave? t o d d

(Breaking in)

And furthermore

(Glaring at PlRELLI)

I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek and pull a tooth with ten times more desterity than any street mountebank!

(HE holds up his razor case for the CROWD to see)

You see these razors?

The finest in England. t o d d

(To PIRELLI)

I lay them against five pounds you are no match for me You hear me, sir? Either accept my challenge or reveal yourself a sham.

Bravo, bravo

(The CROWD laughs and cheers, obviously on TODD’s side. PlRELLI, as imposing as ever, holds up a hand for silence. Slowly HE swaggers toward TODD, takes the razor case, opens it and examines the razors carefully)

(HE speaks with a fairly obvious put-on foreign accent, barely concealing an Irish underlay)

Zees are indeed fine razors. Instruments like zees once seen cannot be soon forgotten.

(Takes out a tooth-extractor)

And a fine extractor, too! You wager zees against five pounds, sir?

I do.

(Addressing the crowd)

You hear zis foolish man? Watch and see how he will regret his folly. Five pounds it is!

(Surveying the crowd)

Friends, neighbors, who’s for a free shave?

(Stepping forward eagerly)

Me, Mr. Todd, sir.

(Stepping forward eagerly, too)

And me, Mr Todd, sir

Over here Bring me a chair

(To TOBIAS)

Boy, bring ze basins, bring ze towels!

Yes, sir...

Quick!

(HE kicks TOBIAS. The boy hurries off into the caravan)

Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?

B e a d L e

Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.

(As another man comes on with a wooden chair and TOBIAS emerges from the caravan with basins, towels, etc., the BEADLE instantly takes over. To MAN, indicating where to set the chair)

Put it there.

(FIRST MAN sits on TODD’s chair. The SECOND MAN is ensconced on PIRELLI’s chair. PIRELLI shakes out a fancy bib with a flourish and covers his man. TODD takes a towel and tucks it around his man ’ s neck)

Ready?

Ready!

Ready!

B e a d L e

The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner.

(HE blows his whistle. The music becomes agitated. The contest begins. PIRELLI strops his razor quickly, TODD in a leisurely manner. PIRELLI keeps glancing at TODD in various paranoid ways throughout, frightened of TODD’s progress HE starts whipping up lather rapidly.)

(Sings to crowd while mixing, furiously)

(Begins to lather his man)

1 0 T h e C o n t e s t ( P a r t I )

M R S W E E N E Y- W H O E V E R - -

(Sarcastic bow to TODD)

O H , I B E G - A Y O U R PA R D O N

(To the customer as he lathers his nose)

‘ I L P R O B A B LY S AY I T WA S O N LY A C A R D I N A L

N O P E !

I T WA S - A D A P O P E !

(Unexpectedly, TODD still shows no sign of starting to shave his man. HE merely watches PIRELLI’s performance. PIRELLI, now feeling that HE can take his time, sings lyrically as HE shaves with rhythmic scrapes and elaborate gestures of wiping the razor)

TO S H AV E - A D A FA C E ,

TO P U L L - A D A TO O T ’ ,

R E Q U I R E D A G R A C E

A N D N O T- A D A B R U T E ,

F O R I F - A Y O U S L I P,

Y O U N I C K D A S K I N ,

Y O U C L I P - A D A C H I N ,

Y O U R I P - A D A L I P A B I T

A N D D AT ’ S - A D A T R U T ’ !

(TODD strops his razor slowly & deliberately, disconcerting PIRELLI and drawing the crowd’s attention)

TO S H AV E - A D A FA C E

O R E V E N A PA RT

W I D O U T I T- A S M A RT

R E Q U I R E D A H E A RT

I T TA K E - A D A A RT

I S H O W Y O U A C H A RT

(Pulls down an elaborate chart with many anatomical views of the face and closeups of follicles, etc.)

I S T U D Y- A S TA RT I N G I N M Y Y O U T ’ !

(TODD starts slowly mixing his lather)

TO C U T- A D A H A I R , TO T R I M - A D A B E A R D ,

TO M A K E - A D A B R I S T L E

C L E A N L I K E A W H I S T L E ,

D I S I S F R O M E A R LY I N FA N C Y

D A TA L E N T G I V E TO M E

B Y G O D !

I T TA K E - A D A S K I L L ,

I T TA K E - A D A B R A I N S ,

I T TA K E - A D A W I L L

TO TA K E - A D A PA I N S ,

I T TA K E - A D A PA C E ,

I T TA K E - A D A G R A C E

(While PIRELLI holds this note elaborately, TODD, with a few deft strokes, quickly lathers his man ’ s face, shaves him and signals the BEADLE to examine the job)

B e a d L e

(Blowing whistle)

T H E W I N N E R I S TO D D M r S . L o V e t t

(Feeling the customer’s cheek)

Smooth as a baby’s arse!

(The CROWD “oohs and ahhs”)

OPTIONAL CUT If you are not performing #10a – “the Contest (Part ii),” turn to page 41.

t o d d

(Looks around)

And now, who’s for a tooth pulling free without charge!

M a N ( W i t h H e a d t i e d u p i n r a g )

Me, sir Me, sir

(HE runs to the chair vacated by the shaved man)

t o d d

(Looking around)

Who else?

(There is silence from the crowd)

No one?

(Turning to the BEADLE)

Then, sir, since there is no means to test the second skill, I claim the five pounds!

To which he is entitled!!

(To CROWD) Right?

(The CROWD applauds)

P i r e L L i Wait! One moment. Wait!

(HE turns to TOBIAS)

You, boy. Get on that chair.

(in terror)

t o B i a S

Me, Signor? Oh, not a tooth, sir, I beg of you! I ain’t got a twinge not the tiniest pain. I

P i r e L L i

(Giving him a swinging blow on the cheek) You do now!

(Forces him into the chair Turning to the CROWD)

We see who is zee victor now Zis Mister Todd or the great Pirelli!

B e a d L e Ready?

P i r e L L i Ready!

t o d d Ready! #

(The BEADLE blows his whistle. While TODD, even more nonchalant than before, merely stands by his patient, PIRELLI forces open the mouth of TOBIAS, brandishing his extractor. HE peers in, selects a tooth, thrusts the extractor into the mouth and starts to tug while singing with pretended ease. During the song, TOBIAS starts moaning, then screaming musically)

( P i r e L L i )

(To the squirming TOBIAS)

N O W H O L D - A D A S T I L L !

(To the CROWD)

A N ’ I F - A Y O U S L I P Y O U G R I P A B I T

Y O U H I T D A P I T O F I T

O R C H I P - A D A T I P

A N D H AV E - A TO F I L L !

TO P U L L - A D A TO O T ’

W I D O U T- A D A G R A C E ,

Y O U L E AV E - A D A S PA C E

A L L O V E R D A P L A C E

Y O U T RY TO E R A S E

W I D O U T- A D A T R A C E

(Glaring archly at TODD)

S O M E T I M E I S D A C A S E

Y O U E V E N - A K I L L

(PIRELLI withdraws the extractor and wrestles TOBIAS, whose wails are becoming louder, into a new position. TODD still watches)

TO H O L D - A D A C L A M P

W I D O U T- A D A C R A M P,

W I D A L L D AT S A L I VA ,

(HE clamps his hand over TOBIAS’ mouth)

I T C O U L D - A D R I V E - A

Y O U C R A Z Y !

(To TOBIAS, who is groaning)

D O N ’ M U T T E R , O R B A C K - A Y O U G O TO D A G U T T E R

(To the CROWD, forcing a smile)

I H O L D - A D A C L A M P L I K E A B U T T E R - A C U P !

(Removes his hand and re-inserts the extractor)

I TA K E - A D A PA I N S ,

I L E A R N - A D A A RT,

I U S E - A D A B R A I N S ,

I G I V E - A D A H E A RT,

I H AV E - A D A G R A C E ,

I W I N - A D A R A C E !

(While again PIRELLI holds the note, TODD stands watching Then in one swift move, HE tugs the rag off his patient’s head, neatly opens the mouth, looks in, and with a single deft motion of the extractor, gives a tiny tug and, turning to the crowd, holds up the, extracted tooth. The BEADLE blows his, whistle. The crowd roars its approval.

PIRELLI, cut off again in the middle of high note, sees that TODD has extracted his customer’s tooth, and droops)

I G I V E - A D A U P.

(Jumping up from chair)

Not a twinge of pain! Not a twinge!

The man ’ s a bloody marvel!

(Beaming at TODD)

The two-time winner Mr. Sweeney Todd!

(PIRELLI leaves the tooth unpulled in TOBIAS’s mouth and, still retaining his imposing dignity, moves over to TODD) P i r e L L i

Continue here If you are not performing #10a – “the Contest (Part ii).”

(With profound bow)

Sir, I bow to a skill far defter than my own

The five pounds P i r e L L i

(Produces a rather flamboyant purse, and from it takes five pounds)

Here, sir. And may the good Lord smile on you until we meet again. Come, boy.

(Bows to CROWD)

Signori! Bellissime signorine! Buon giorno! Buon giorno a tutti!

(Kicking TOBIAS ahead of him, HE returns to the caravan which TOBIAS, like a horse, pulls off)

(To TODD)

Who’d have thought it dear! You pulled it off!

(The CROWD clusters around TODD)

M a N ( W i t h C a p )

Oh, sir, Mr Todd, sir, do you have an establishment of your own?

M r S . L o V e t t

He certainly does Sweeney Todd’s Tonsorial Parlor above my meat pieshop on Fleet Street.

(The BEADLE strolls somewhat menacingly over to THEM)

B e a d L e

Mr Todd Strange, sir, but it seems your face is known to me

M r S . L o V e t t

(Concealing agitation)

Him? That’s a laugh him being my uncle’s cousin and arrived from Birmingham yesterday

t o d d

(Very smooth)

But already, sir, I have heard Beadle Bamford spoken of with great respect.

B e a d L e

(Whatever dim suspicions HE may have had allayed by the flattery)

Well, sir, I try my best for my neighbors

(To MRS LOVETT)

Fleet Street? Over your pieshop, ma ’am?

M r S . L o V e t t

That’s it, sir

B e a d L e

Then, Mr Todd, you will surely see me there before the week is out

(Expressionless)

You will be welcome, Beadle Bamford, and I guarantee to give you, without a penny ’ s charge, the closest shave you will ever know

(MRS LOVETT takes TODD’s arm and starts with him offstage as the scene blacks out. In limbo, the BEGGAR WOMAN appears with other members of the company. THEY sing)

# 1 0 b B a l l a d o f S w e e n e y T o d d

M e M B e r S o F t H e C o M P a N Y

S W E E N E Y P O N D E R E D A N D S W E E N E Y P L A N N E D ,

L I K E A P E R F E C T M A C H I N E ‘ E P L A N N E D ,

B A R B I N G T H E H O O K , B A I T I N G T H E T R A P,

S E T T I N G I T O U T F O R T H E B E A D L E TO S N A P

S LY LY C O U RT E D ‘ I M , S W E E N E Y D I D ,

S E T A S O RT O F A S C E N E , ‘ E D I D

L AY I N G T H E T R A I L , S H O W I N G T H E T R A C E S ,

L E T T I N G I T L E A D TO H I G H E R P L A C E S . . .

S W E E N E Y P O N D E R E D A N D S W E E N E Y P L A N N E D ,

L I K E A P E R F E C T M A C H I N E ‘ E P L A N N E D ,

S LY LY C O U RT E D ‘ I M , S W E E N E Y D I D ,

L AY I N G T H E T R A I L , S H O W I N G T H E T R A C E S ,

L E T T I N G I T L E A D TO H I G H E R P L A C E S

‘ E D I D , D I D S W E E N E Y —

OPTIONAL CUT This scene was cut from the original New York production during previews for reasons of time. It is included here as an optional scene because the authors feel it helps particularize JUDGE TURPIN

If you are not performing #11 – “johanna, ” turn to page 47

(The lights shift to a room in JUDGE TURPIN’s house. The JUDGE is in his judicial clothes, a Bible in his hand. In the adjoining room, JOHANNA sits sewing)

(HE peers through the keyhole of the door to JOHANNA’s room)

J

T

(Ashamed, HE stops peering)

N O !

G O D !

D E L I V E R M E ! (Sinks to his knees)

D E L I V E R M E ! (starts tearing off his robes)

D O W N !

D O W N

D O W N . . .

(Now naked to the waist, HE picks up a scourge from the table)

J

G

(Again and again, as HE continues)

D E L I V E R M E !

F I LT H

J

(Whips himself)

( j u d g e )

N O !

(Again and again)

G O D !

D E L I V E R M E !

I T W I L L

S TO P

N O W ! I T W I L L

S TO P

R I G H T

N O W

R I G H T

N O W.

R I G H T

N O W

(Calm again, having kneed his way over to the door, HE peers through the keyhole)

J O H A N N A , J O H A N N A ,

I C A N N O T K E E P Y O U L O N G E R .

T H E W O R L D I S AT Y O U R W I N D O W,

Y O U WA N T TO F LY AWAY

Y O U S T I R M E , J O H A N N A ,

S O S U D D E N LY A W O M A N ,

I C A N N O T WAT C H , Y O U O N E M O R E D AY !

(Again whips himself into a frenzy)

G O D !

D E L I V E R M E !

G O D !

D E L I V E R M E !

G O D !

D E L I V E R

(Climaxes)

G O D ! !

(Panting, HE relaxes; when HE is in control again, HE starts to dress)

J O H A N N A , J O H A N N A ,

I ’ L L K E E P Y O U H E R E F O R E V E R ,

I ’ L L W E D Y O U O N T H E M O R R O W.

J O H A N N A , J O H A N N A ,

T H E W O R L D W I L L N E V E R TO U C H Y O U ,

( j u d g e )

I ’ L L W E D Y O U O N T H E M O R R O W !

A S Y E A R S PA S S , J O H A N N A ,

Y O U ’ L L T E N D M E I N M Y S O L I T U D E ,

N O L O N G E R A S A D A U G H T E R ,

A S A W O M A N

(HE is fully dressed again)

J O H A N N A , J O H A N N A ,

I ’ L L H O L D Y O U H E R E F O R E V E R T H E N ,

Y O U ’ L L K E E P AWAY F R O M W I N D O W S A N D

Y O U ’ L L

D E L I V E R M E ,

J O H A N N A ,

F R O M T H I S

H O T

R E D

D E V I L

W I T H Y O U R

S O F T

W H I T E

C O O L

V I R G I N

PA L M S

(Magisterial again, picking up the Bible, HE produces a key and opens the door, the key forgotten, still in the lock. JOHANNA jumps up)

j o H a N N a

Father!

j u d g e

Johanna, I trust you ’ ve not been near the window again

j o H a N N a

(During this speech her eyes fall on the key in the lock)

Hardly, dear father, when it has been shuttered and barred these last three days.

j u d g e

How right I was to insist on such a precaution, for once again he has come, that conscienceless young sailor Ten times has he been driven from my door and yet

(Breaks off, gazing at her, smitten with lust)

How sweet you look in that light muslin gown

‘Tis nothing but an old dress, father

j o H a N N a

j u d g e

But fairer on your young form than wings on an angel oh, if I were to think

j o H a N N a

(Demurely, moving to the door)

Think what, dear father?

j u d g e

If I were to think you encouraged this young rogue...

j o H a N N a

(During this speech, SHE slips the key from the lock, hides it in her dress)

I? A maid trained from the cradle to find in modesty and obedience the greatest of all virtues? Dear father, when have you ceased to warn me of the wickedness of men?

j u d g e

Venal young men of the street with only one thought in their heads But there are men of different and far higher breed. I have one in mind for you.

j o H a N N a

You have?

j u d g e

A gentle man, who would shield you from all earthly cares and guide your faltering steps to the sober warmth of womanhood a husband a protector and yet an ardent lover too. It is a man who through all the years has surely earned your affection.

(Drops to his knees)

j o H a N N a

(Staggered)

You?!!!

(The scene blacks out)

Continue here If you are not performing #11 – “johanna.”

(Light comes up on MRS. LOVETT’s Pieshop and the apartment above, which now is sparsely furnished with a washstand and a long wooden chest At the foot of the outside staircase is a brand-new barber’s pole. Attached to the first banister of the staircase is an iron bell TODD is pacing in the apartment above MRS LOVETT comes hurrying out of the shop, carrying a wooden chair. As SHE does so, the BEGGAR WOMAN shuffles up to her)

(Imitating her nastily)

Alms ... Alms ...

(Music continues)

How many times have I told you? I’ll not have trash from the gutter hanging around my establishment!

B e g g a r W o M a N

Not just a penny, dear? Or a pie? One of them pies that give the stomach cramps to half the neighborhood?

(A cackling laugh)

Come on, dear. Have a heart, dear.

Off. Off with you or you’ll get a kick on the rump that’ll make your teeth chatter!

B e g g a r W o M a N Stuck up thing! You and your fancy airs!

(Shuffling off, into the wings)

(SHE exits. Music continues. MRS. LOVETT rings the bell to indicate her approach and starts climbing the stairs. At the sound of the bell, TODD becomes alert and snatches up a razor. The music becomes agitated. As MRS. LOVETT appears, HE relaxes somewhat. MRS. LOVETT is now very proprietary towards him) M r S . L o V

It’s not much of a chair, but it’ll do till you get your fancy new one. It was me poor Albert’s chair, it was. Sat in it all day long he did, after his leg give out from the dropsy.

(Surveying the room, music under)

Kinda bare, isn’t it? I never did like a bare room. Oh, well, we’ll find some nice little knickknacks.

Why doesn’t the Beadle come? “Before the week is out,” that’s what he said.

And who says the week’s out yet? It’s only Tuesday

(As TODD paces restlessly)

E A S Y N O W

H U S H , L O V E , H U S H

D O N ’ T D I S T R E S S Y O U R S E L F,

W H AT ’ S Y O U R R U S H ?

K E E P Y O U R T H O U G H T S

N I C E A N D L U S H .

WA I T

(TODD paces)

H U S H , L O V E , H U S H ,

T H I N K I T T H R O U G H

O N C E I T B U B B L E S ,

T H E N W H AT ’ S TO D O ?

WAT C H I T C L O S E ,

L E T I T B R E W,

WA I T.

(TODD grows calmer)

I

P R E T T Y D A I S I E S ,

M

(As TODD doesn’t respond)

A H , WA I T, L O V E , WA I T

(Music continues under) t o d d

(Intensely)

And the Judge? When will I get him?

M r S . L o V e t t

Can’t you think of nothing else? Always broodin’ away on yer wrongs what happened heaven knows how many years ago

(TODD turns away violently with a hiss)

S L O W, L O V E , S L O W

T I M E ’ S S O FA S T.

N O W G O E S Q U I C K LY

S E E , N O W I T ’ S PA S T !

S O O N W I L L C O M E ,

S O O N W I L L L A S T

WA I T

(TODD grows calm again)

D O N ’ T Y O U K N O W,

S I L LY M A N ,

H A L F T H E F U N I S TO

P L A N T H E P L A N ?

A L L G O O D T H I N G S C O M E TO

T H O S E W H O C A N

WA I T

(Looking around the room)

G I L LY F L O W E R S , M AY B E ,

‘ S T E A D O F D A I S I E S

I D O N ’ T K N O W, T H O U G H . . .

W H AT D O Y O U T H I N K ?

(Docilely)

Yes.

(Gently taking the razor from him)

Gillyflowers, I’d say. Nothing like a nice bowl of gillies.

(During this, we have seen ANTHONY moving down the street. HE sees the sign and stops. HE goes to the bell and rings it, then starts running up the stairs. The effect on TODD is electric. Even MRS. LOVETT, affected by his tension, alerts. SHE hastily gives him back the razor. ANTHONY bursts enthusiastically in.)

Anthony.

Mr. Todd, I’ve paced Fleet Street a dozen times with no success. But now the sign! In business already.

Yes.

I congratulate you

(Turning to MRS. LOVETT)

And er

Mrs Lovett, sir

A pleasure, ma ’ am Oh, Mr Todd, I have so much to tell you I have found the fairest and most loving maid that any man could dream of! And yet there are problems. She has a guardian so tyrannical that she is kept shut up from human eye. But now this morning this key fell from her shuttered window.

(HE holds up JOHANNA’s key)

The surest sign that Johanna loves me and ...

Johanna?

That’s her name, ma ’ am, and Turpin that of the abominable

parent. A judge, it seems. But, as I said, a monstrous tyrant. Oh Mr. Todd, once the Judge has gone to court, I’ll slip into the house and plead with her to fly with me tonight Yet when I have her where can I bring her till I have hired a coach to speed us home to Plymouth? Oh Mr Todd, if I could lodge her here just for an hour or two!

(HE gazes at the inscrutable TODD)

(After a beat)

Bring her, dear

Oh thank you, thank you, ma ’ am

(To TODD)

I have your consent, Mr Todd?

(After a pause)

The girl may come.

(ANTHONY grabs his hand and pumps it, then turns to grab MRS. LOVETT’s)

I shall be grateful for this to the grave. Now I must hurry for surely the Judge is off to the Old Bailey.

(Turning at the door)

My thanks! A thousand blessings on you both!

(HE hurries out and down the stairs)

M r S . L o V e t t

Johanna! Who’d have thought it! It’s like Fate, isn’t it? You’ll have her back before the day is out.

t o d d

For a few hours? Before he carries her off to the other end of England?

M r S . L o V e t t

Oh, that sailor! Let him bring her here and then, since you ’ re so hot for a little ...

(Makes a throat-cutting gesture)

... that’s the throat to slit, dear. Oh Mr. T. we’ll make a lovely home for her. You and me The poor thing All those years and not a scrap of motherly affection I’ll soon change that, I will, for if ever there was a maternal heart, it’s mine.

(During this speech PIRELLI, accompanied by TOBIAS, has appeared on the street. THEY see the sign and start up the stairs without ringing the bell. Now, as MRS. LOVETT goes to TODD coquetishly, PlRELLI and TOBIAS suddenly appear at the door. TODD pulls violently away from MRS. LOVETT.)

P i r e L L i

(With Italianate bow)

Good morning, Mr Todd and to you, Bellissima Signorina

(HE kisses MRS. LOVETT’s hand)

M r S . L o V e t t

Well, ‘ ow do you do, Signor, I’m sure.

P i r e L L i

A little business with Mr. Todd, Signora. Perhaps if you will give the permission?

M r S . L o V e t t

Oh yes, indeed, I’ll just pop on down to my pies.

(Surveying TOBIAS)

Oh lawks, look at it now! Don’t look like it’s had a kind word since half past never!

(Smiling at him)

What would you say, son, to a nice juicy meat pie, eh? Your teeth is strong, I hope?

t o B i a S

Oh yes, ma ’ am.

(Taking his hand)

Then come with me, love.

(THEY start down the stairs to the shop)

P i r e L L i

Mr Todd

Signor Pirelli

(Reverting to Irish)

t o d d

P i r e L L i

Ow, call me Danny, Daniel O’Higgins’ the name when it’s not perfessional.

(Looks around the shop)

Not much, but I imagine you’ll pretty it up a bit.

(Holds out his hand)

I’d like me five quid back, if ’ n ya don’t mind.

t o d d

Why?

(In the shop, MRS. LOVETT pats a stool for TOBIAS to sit down and hands him a piece of pie HE starts to eat greedily)

M r S . L o V e t t

That’s my boy. Tuck in.

P i r e L L i

It’ll hold me over till your customers start coming. Then it’s half your profits you’ll hand over to me every week on a Friday, share and share alike All right

Mr. Benjamin Barker?

(Very quiet)

Why do you call me that?

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

(Stroking TOBIAS’s luxurious locks)

At least you ’ ve got a nice full head of hair on you.

t o B i a S

Well, Ma’am, to tell the truth, Ma’am

(HE reaches up and pulls off the “locks” which are a wig, revealing his own shortcropped hair)

get awful ‘ot

(HE continues to eat the pie. PIRELLI strolls over to the washstand, picks up the razor, flicks it open)

P i r e L L i

You don’t remember me Why should you? I was just a down and out Irish lad you hired for a couple of weeks sweeping up hair and such like

(Holding up razor)

but I remember these and you. Benjamin Barker, later transported to Botany Bay for life. So, Mr. Todd is it a deal or do I run down the street for me pal Beadle Bamford?

(For a long moment TODD stands gazing at him)

# 1 2 a P i r e l l i ’ s D e a t h

(Sings, nastily)

Y O U T ’ I N K - A Y O U S M A RT,

Y O U F O O L I S H - A B O Y.

TO M O R R O W Y O U S TA RT

I N M Y- A E M P L O Y !

Y O U U N N E R - A - S TA N ’ ?

Y O U L I K E - A M Y P L A N ?

(One again HE hits his high note, and once again HE is interrupted TODD knocks the razor out of his hand and starts, in a protracted struggle, to strangle him)

t o B i a S

(Downstairs, unaware of this)

Oh gawd, he’s got an appointment with his tailor If he’s late and it’s my fault you don’t know him!

(HE jumps up and starts out)

I wouldn’t want to, I’m sure, dear.

M r S . L o V e t t

(TODD violently continues with the strangling)

t o B i a S

(Calling on the stairs)

Signor! It’s late! The tailor, sir

(Remembering)

Oh, me wig!

(Runs back for it. Upstairs TODD stops dead at the sound of the voice. HE looks around wildly, see the chest, runs to it, opens the lid and then drags PIRELLI to it and tumbles him in, slamming the lid shut just as TOBIAS enters. It is at this moment that we realize that one of PIRELLI’s hands is dangling out of the chest)

( t o B i a S )

Signor, I did like you said. I reminded you ... the tailor ... Ow, he ain’t here.

t o d d

Signor Pirelli has been called away.

Where did he go?

t o B i a S

t o d d

He didn’t say. You’d better run after him.

t o B i a S

Oh no, sir. Knowing him, sir, without orders to the contrary, I’d best wait for him here.

(HE crosses to the chest and sits down on it, perilously near PIRELLI’s hand, which HE doesn’t notice. TODD at this moment does, however. Suddenly HE is all nervous smiles)

t o d d

So Mrs Lovett gave you a pie, did she, my lad?

t o B i a S

Oh yes, sir She’s a real kind lady One whole pie

(As HE speaks, his hand moves very close to PlRELLI’s hand)

t o d d

(Moving toward him)

A whole pie, eh? That’s a treat And yet, if I know a growing boy, there’s still room for more, eh?

t o B i a S

I’d say, sir.

(Patting his stomach)

An aching void.

(Once again his hand is on the edge of the chest, moving toward PIRELLI’s hand.

Slowly now, we see the fingers of PIRELLI’s hand stirring, feebly trying to clutch TOBIAS’s hand. When it has almost reached him, TODD grabs TOBIAS up off the chest)

Then why don’t you run downstairs and wait for your master there? There’ll be another pie in it for you, I’m sure

(Afterthought)

And tell Mrs Lovett to give you a nice big tot of gin

Oo, sir! Gin, sir! Thanking you, sir, thanking you kindly Gin! You’re a Christian indeed, sir!

(HE runs down the stairs to MRS. LOVETT)

Oh, ma ’ am, the gentleman says to give me a nice tot of gin, ma ’ am.

(Upstairs, with great ferocity, TODD opens the chest, grabs PIRELLI by the hair, tugs him up from the chest and slashes his throat as, downstairs, MRS. LOVETT pours a glass of gin and hands it to TOBIAS. HE takes it. The tableau freezes, then fades)

(The ballad ends on a crashing chord as the singers black out and lights comes up on JUDGE TURPIN in full panoply of wig, robe, etc. HE is about to convict a very young boy)

j u d g e

This is the fourth time, sir, that you have been brought before this bench Though it is my earnest wish ever to temper justice with mercy, your persistent dedication to a life of crime is such an abomination before God and man that I have no alternative but to sentence you to hang by the neck until you are dead.

(HE produces the black cap and puts it on his head. As HE does so the condemned prisoner is led away) Court adjourned!

(During the following, the JUDGE removes cap, wig and gown. To the BEADLE)

It is perhaps remiss of me to close the court so early, but the stench of those miserable wretches at the bar was so offensive to my nostrils I feared my eagerness for fresher air might well impair the soundness of my judgment.

(Light dims on the court and finds the JUDGE, and the BEADLE now walking down a street together)

B e a d L e

Well, sir, the adjournment is fortunate for me, sir, for it’s today we celebrate my sweet little Annie’s birthday, and to have her daddy back so soon to hug and kiss her will be her crowning joy on such a happy day.

j u d g e

It is a happy moment for me, too. Walk home with me for I have news for you. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry Johanna next Monday.

B e a d L e

Ah, sir, happy news indeed.

j u d g e

Strange, when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance. But that’s natural enough in a young girl Now that she has had time for reflection, I’m sure she will greet my proposal in a more sensible frame of mind.

(Light leaves them and comes up on JOHANNA and ANTHONY in JOHANNA’s room. SHE is pacing in agitation and fear)

# 1 2 d U n d e r s c o r e

# 1 3 K i s s M e ( P a r t I )

I H AV E A P L A N

a N t H o N Y

j o H a N N a

I ’ L L S WA L L O W P O I S O N O N S U N D AY,

T H AT ’ S W H AT I ’ L L D O , I ’ L L G E T S O M E LY E

a N t H o N Y

I H AV E A P L A N

(Stops pacing suddenly)

j o H a N N a

O H , D E A R , WA S T H AT A N O I S E ?

a N t H o N Y

A P L A N

j o H a N N a

I T H I N K I H E A R D A N O I S E .

a N t H o N Y

A P L A N !

j o H a N N a

I T C O U L D N ’ T B E ,

H E ’ S I N C O U RT,

H E ’ S I N C O U RT TO D AY,

S T I L L T H AT WA S A N O I S E ,

WA S N ’ T T H AT A N O I S E ?

Y O U M U S T H AV E H E A R D T H AT. . .

a N t H o N Y

K I S S M E !

(Shyly)

j o H a N N a

O H , S I R

A H , M I S S

a N t H o N Y

j o H a N N a

O H , S I R . . .

(SHE turns away, agitatedly)

I F H E S H O U L D M A R RY M E M O N D AY,

W H AT W I L L I D O ? I ’ L L D I E O F G R I E F.

W E F LY TO N I G H T

a N t H o N Y

j o H a N N a

‘ T I S F R I D AY, V I RT U A L LY S U N D AY,

W H AT C A N W E D O W I T H T I M E S O B R I E F ?

a N t H o N Y

W E F LY TO N I G H T

j o H a N N a

B E H I N D T H E C U RTA I N Q U I C K !

a N t H o N Y

TO N I G H T

j o H a N N a

I T H I N K I H E A R D A C L I C K !

a N t H o N Y

TO N I G H T !

j o H a N N a

I T WA S A G AT E !

I T ’ S T H E G AT E !

W E D O N ’ T H AV E A G AT E

S T I L L T H E R E WA S A WA I T !

T H E R E ’ S A N O T H E R C L I C K !

Y O U M U S T H AV E H E A R D T H AT

a N t H o N Y

a N t H o N Y

I T ’ S N O T A G AT E

T H E R E ’ S N O G AT E ,

Y O U D O N ’ T H AV E A G AT E .

I F Y O U ’ D O N LY L I S T E N , M I S S , A N D

K I S S M E !

TO N I G H T ?

K I S S M E .

j o H a N N a

a N t H o N Y

j o H a N N a

Y O U M E A N TO N I G H T ?

T H E P L A N I S M A D E

a N t H o N Y

O H , S I R !

j o H a N N a

S O K I S S M E

a N t H o N Y

I F E E L A F R I G H T.

j o H a N N a

a N t H o N Y

S I R , I D I D

B E N O T A F R A I D .

j o H a N N a

L O V E Y O U E V E N A S I

S AW Y O U , E V E N A S I T

D I D N O T M AT T E R T H AT I

D I D N O T K N O W Y O U R N A M E

a N t H o N Y

I T ’ S M E Y O U ’ L L M A R RY O N M O N D AY,

T H AT ’ S W H AT Y O U ’ L L D O !

j o H a N N a

TO N I G H T, I ’ L L

S T E A L

Y O U ,

J O H A N N A ,

a N t H o N Y

I ’ L L S T E A L Y O U

A N D G L A D LY S I R

a N t H o N Y

S T D U N S TA N ’ S , N O O N

j o H a N N a

I K N E W I ’ D B E W I T H Y O U O N E D AY,

E V E N N O T K N O W I N G W H O Y O U W E R E

I F E A R E D Y O U ’ D N E V E R C O M E ,

T H AT Y O U ’ D B E E N C A L L E D AWAY.

T H AT Y O U ’ D B E E N K I L L E D ,

H A D T H E P L A G U E ,

W E R E I N D E B TO R ’ S J A I L ,

T R A M P L E D B Y A H O R S E ,

G O N E TO S E A A G A I N ,

A R R E S T E D B Y T H E

j o H a N N a

a N t H o N Y

A H , M I S S , M A R RY M E , M A R RY M E , M I S S ,

O H , M A R RY M E M O N D AY !

FAV O R M E , FAV O R M E

W I T H Y O U R H A N D

P R O M I S E ,

M A R RY M E , M A R RY M E ,

P L E A S E ,

O H , M A R RY M E M O N D AY

K I S S M E !

O F C O U R S E

a N t H o N Y

K

(Taking her in his arms)

I S H A L L !

K I S S M E ! O H , S I R

(Lights dim on them but remain; light rises on the JUDGE and the BEADLE, still walking together. Music continues under)

(Strolling with BEADLE)

Yes, yes, but surely the respect that she owes me as her guardian should be sufficient to kindle a more tender emotion B

(Music continues)

Perhaps if she greets me cordially upon my return, I should give her a small gift.

delicately)

( B e a d L e )

H AV E A F R A G I L E S E N S I B I L I T Y

W H E N A G I R L’ S E M E R G E N T,

P R O B A B LY I T ’ S U R G E N T

Y O U D E F E R TO H E R G E N T-

I L I T Y, M Y L O R D

P E R S O N A L D I S O R D E R C A N N O T B E I G N O R E D ,

G I V E N T H E I R G E N T E E L P R O C L I V I T I E S

M E A N I N G N O O F F E N S E , I T

H A P P E N S T H E Y R E S E N T S I T,

L A D I E S I N T H E I R S E N S I T-

I V I T I E S , M Y L O R D

(Feeling his chin)

j u d g e

Stubble, you say? Perhaps at times I am a little overhasty with my morning ablutions ...

B e a d L e

F R E T N O T T H O U G H , M Y L O R D ,

I K N O W A P L A C E , M Y L O R D ,

A B A R B E R , M Y L O R D , O F S K I L L

T H U S A R M E D W I T H A S H AV E N FA C E , M Y L O R D ,

S O M E E A U D E C O L O G N E TO B R A C E M Y L O R D

A N D M U S K TO E N H A N C E T H E C H A S E , M Y L O R D ,

Y O U ’ L L D A Z Z L E T H E G I R L U N T I L

S H E B O W S TO Y O U R E V E RY W I L L .

j u d g e

That may well be so.

(THEY have reached the JUDGE’s house)

B e a d L e

Well, here we are, Sir. I bid you good day.

j u d g e

Good day.

(HE muses, turns)

And where is this miraculous barber?

In Fleet Street, sir.

B e a d L e

j u d g e

Perhaps you may be right. Take me to him.

# 1 5 K i s s M e ( P a r t I I )

(THEY start off. Light up on JOHANNA’s room. JOHANNA and ANTHONY get up from a couch)

B e a d L e

T H E N A M E I S TO D D

a N t H o N Y

W E ’ D B E S T N O T WA I T U N T I L M O N D AY

j u d g e

Todd, eh?

j o H a N N a

S I R , I C O N C U R ,

A N D F U L LY, TO O .

I T I S N ’ T R I G H T

B e a d L e

S W E E N E Y TO D D .

a N t H o N Y

W E ’ D B E S T B E M A R R I E D O N S U N D AY.

j o H a N N a

S AT U R D AY, S I R ,

W O U L D A L S O D O .

a N t H o N Y

O R E L S E TO N I G H T

(The JUDGE and the BEADLE move past the house)

j o H a N N a

I T H I N K I H E A R D A N O I S E .

a N t H o N Y

F E A R N O T

j o H a N N a

I M E A N A N O T H E R N O I S E !

a N t H o N Y

L I K E W H AT ?

j o H a N N a

O H , N E V E R M I N D , J U S T A N O I S E

J U S T A N O T H E R N O I S E ,

S O M E T H I N G I N T H E S T R E E T,

I ’ M A S I L LY L I T T L E

a N t H o N Y

Y O U M U S T N ’ T M I N D ,

I T ’ S A N O I S E ,

J U S T A N O T H E R N O I S E ,

( j o H a N N a )

N I N N Y N O D D L E ( a N t H o N Y )

S O M E T H I N G I N T H E S T R E E T,

Y O U S I L LY

B o t H

(Falling into each other’s arms)

K I S S M E !

O H , S I R . . .

j o H a N N a

a N t H o N Y

W E ’ L L G O TO PA R I S O N M O N D AY.

j o H a N N a

W H AT S H A L L I W E A R ?

I D A R E N ’ T PA C K !

W E ’ L L R I D E A T R A I N

a N t H o N Y

j o H a N N a

W I T H Y O U B E S I D E M E O N S U N D AY,

W H AT W I L L I C A R E

W H AT T H I N G S I L A C K ?

a N t H o N Y

T H E N S A I L TO S PA I N

j o H a N N a

I ’ L L TA K E M Y R E T I C U L E .

I ’ L L N E E D M Y R E T I C U L E

Y O U M U S T N ’ T T H I N K

M E A F O O L

B U T M Y R E T I C U L E

N E V E R L E AV E S M Y S I D E ,

I T ’ S T H E O N LY T H I N G

M Y M O T H E R G AV E M E -

K I S S M E !

K I S S M E !

W E ’ L L G O T H E R E ,

K I S S M E !

W E H AV E A P L A C E W H E R E W E C A N

G O TO N I G H T.

a N t H o N Y

W H Y TA K E Y O U R R E T I C U L E ?

W E ’ L L B U Y A R E T I C U L E .

I ’ D N E V E R T H I N K

Y O U A F O O L ,

B U T A R E T I C U L E -

L E AV E I T A L L A S I D E

A N D B E G I N A G A I N A N D

K I S S M E !

I K N O W A P L A C E W H E R E W E C A N G O

TO N I G H T.

K I S S M E !

W E H AV E A P L A C E W H E R E W E C A N

G O TO N I G H T.

(Simultaneously with the above)

T H E N A M E I S TO D D

B e a d L e

TO D D ?

j u d g e

B e a d L e

TO D D S W E E N E Y TO D D

TO D D .

TO D D .

j o H a N N a

I L O V E D Y O U

E V E N A S I S AW Y O U ,

E V E N A S I T D O E S N O T

M AT T E R T H AT I S T I L L

D O N ’ T K N O W Y O U R N A M E , S I R .

E V E N A S I S AW Y O U ,

E V E N A S I T D O E S N O T

M AT T E R T H AT I S T I L L

D O N ’ T K N O W Y O U R N A M E

(Simultaneously with above)

j u d g e

B e a d L e

a N t H o N Y

I L O V E D Y O U

E V E N A S I S AW Y O U ,

E V E N A S I T D I D N O T

M AT T E R T H AT I D I D

N O T K N O W Y O U R N A M E

J O H A N N A . . .

J O H A N N A

J O H A N N A

B e a d L e

TO D D . . . S W E E N E Y TO D D .

j u d g e & B e a d L e

S W E E N E Y TO D D .

a N t H o N Y

A N T H O N Y

TO D D ?

TO D D

j u d g e

B e a d L e

A N T H O N Y

j o H a N N a

j u d g e

TO D D , E H ?

j o H a N N a

I ’ L L M A R RY A N T H O N Y S U N D AY,

T H AT ’ S W H AT I ’ L L D O ,

N O M AT T E R W H AT !

I K N E W Y O U ’ D C O M E F O R M E O N E D AY

O N LY A F R A I D T H AT Y O U ’ D F O R G O T.

(Simultaneously with above)

a N t H o N Y

Y O U M A R RY A N T H O N Y S U N D AY,

T H AT ’ S W H AT Y O U ’ L L D O ,

N O M AT T E R W H AT !

I K N E W I ’ D C O M E F O R Y O U O N E D AY

O N LY A F R A I D T H AT Y O U ’ D F O R G O T.

B e a d L e

L A D I E S I N T H E I R S E N S I T I V I T I E S , M Y L O R D

j u d g e

P R AY L E A D T H E WAY.

B e a d L e

H AV E A F R A G I L E S E N S I B I L I T Y

j u d g e

J U S T A S Y O U S AY

j o H a N N a

I F E A R E D Y O U ’ D N E V E R C O M E ,

T H AT Y O U ’ D B E E N C A L L E D AWAY,

T H AT Y O U ’ D B E E N K I L L E D ,

H A D T H E P L A G U E ,

W E R E I N D E B TO R ’ S J A I L ,

T R A M P L E D B Y A H O R S E ,

G O N E TO S E A A G A I N ,

A R R E S T E D B Y T H E

(HE crushes her to him; THEY kiss)

a N t H o N Y

M A R RY M E , M A R RY M E , M I S S ,

Y O U ’ L L M A R RY M E S U N D AY

FAV O R M E , FAV O R M E

W I T H Y O U R H A N D .

P R O M I S E ,

M A R RY M E , M A R RY M E ,

T H AT Y O U ’ L L M A R RY M E

E N O U G H O F A L L T H I S

B e a d L e

(Simultaneously with above)

W H E N A G I R L’ S E M E R G E N T,

P R O B A B LY I T ’ S U R G E N T

L A D I E S I N T H E I R S E N S I T I V I T I E S

TO D D

j o H a N N a

(As SHE sinks to the floor with ANTHONY)

O H S I R

A H , M I S S

j o H a N N a

a N t H o N Y

O H , S I R . . .

O H , S I R

O H , S I R

O H , S I R . . .

O H , S I R

O H , S I R

a N t H o N Y

A H , M I S S

A H , M I S S

A H , M I S S . . .

A H , M I S S

A H , M I S S

(Light leaves THEM, comes up on the pieshop-tonsorial parlor. Upstairs, TODD is silently cleaning his razor In the shop, MRS LOVETT and TOBIAS unfreeze from the position in which THEY were last seen)

# 1 5 a U n d e r s c o r e

M r S . L o V e t t

Maybe you should run along, dear

t o B i a S

Oh no, ma ’ am, I daren’t budge till he calls for me

M r S . L o V e t t

I’ll pop up and see what Mr Todd says

(Humming, MRS LOVETT starts climbing the stairs As SHE enters the parlor)

Ah me, me poor knees is not what they was, dear

(SHE sits down on the chest)

How long before the Eyetalian gets back?

(Still impassively cleaning the razor)

He won’t be back.

(Instantly suspicious)

Now, Mr T , you didn’t!

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

(TODD nods toward the chest. Realizing, MRS. LOVETT jumps up. For a moment SHE stands looking at the chest, then, gingerly, SHE lifts the lid. SHE gazes down, then spins to TODD)

You’re crazy mad! Killing a man wot done you no harm. And the boy downstairs?

He recognized me from the old days. He tried to blackmail me, half my earnings forever. M r

Oh well, that’s a different matter! What a relief, dear! For a moment I thought you’d lost your marbles.

(Turns to peer down again into the chest)

Ooh! All that blood! Enough to make you come all over gooseflesh, ain’t it. Poor bugger. Oh, well!

(SHE starts to close the lid, sees something, bends to pick it up. It is PIRELLI’s purse. SHE looks in it)

Three quid! Well, waste not, want not, as I always say

(SHE takes out the money and puts it down her bosom SHE is about to throw the purse away when something about it attracts her. SHE slips it too down her dress. SHE shuts the chest lid and, quite composed again, sits down on it)

Now, dear, we got to use the old noggin

(As SHE sits deep in thought, we see the JUDGE and BEADLE coming up the street)

B e a d L e

(Pointing)

There you are sir Above the pieshop, sir j u d g e

I see You may leave me now

Thank you, sir Thank you

B e a d L e

(HE starts off as the JUDGE approaches the parlor) M r

(Coming out of her pondering)

Well, first there’s the lad.

Send him up here.

Him, too! Now surely one ’ s enough for today, dear Shouldn’t indulge yourself, you know. Now let me see, he’s half seas over already with the gin ...

(As SHE speaks, downstairs the JUDGE clangs the bell. TODD runs to the landing and peers down the stairs. The BEADLE is still visible, exiting)

Providence is kind!

Who is it?

Judge Turpin.

(Flustered)

Him, him? The Judge? It can’t be! It

Quick, leave me!

What are you going to do?

(Roaring)

Leave me, I said!

Don’t worry, dear I’m out!

(SHE scuttles out of the tonsorial parlor and starts down the stairs as the JUDGE ascends. THEY meet halfway. SHE gives him a deep curtsey)

Excuse me, your Lordship.

(SHE hurries back to TOBIAS in the shop)

Mr Todd?

At your service, sir An honor to receive your patronage, sir

(To TOBIAS)

Now, dear, seems like your guvnor has gone and left you high an dry. But don’t worry Your Aunt Nellie will think of what to do with you

(Picks up the bottle of gin and pours some more into his glass. Still holding the bottle, SHE leads him toward the curtains)

Come on into my lovely back parlor

(THEY disappear through the curtains)

(Looking around)

These premises are hardly prepossessing and yet the Beadle tells me you are the most accomplished of all the barbers in the city t o d d

That is gracious of him, sir And you must please excuse the modesty of my establishment. It’s only a few days ago that I set up quarters here and some necessaries are yet to come.

(Indicating chair)

Sit, sir, if you please, sir. Sit.

(The JUDGE settles into the chair; music under as MRS. LOVETT, still holding the gin bottle, enters her back parlor with TOBIAS)

See how nice and cozy it is? Sit down, dear, sir.

(SHE starts to pour him more gin.)

Oh, it’s empty. Now you just sit there, dear, like a good quiet boy while I get a new bottle from the larder.

(SHE leaves him alone)

And what may I do for you, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? A soothing skin massage?

t o d d

T H E C L O S E S T I E V E R G AV E

(TODD whips the sheet over the JUDGE, then tucks the bib in The JUDGE hums, flicking imaginary dust off the sheet; TODD whistles gaily)

j u d g e

You are in a merry mood today, Mr Todd

t o d d

(Mixing lather)

‘

j u d g e

‘

T H A N L O V E , S I R ?

M O R E T H A N L O V E , S I R

W H AT, S I R ?

W O M E N .

A H Y E S , W O M E N

P R E T T Y W O M E N

# 1 6 a P r e t t y W o m e n ( P a r t I I )

j u d g e

t o d d

j u d g e

t o d d

j u d g e

t o d d

(The JUDGE hums jauntily; TODD whistles and starts stropping his razor rhythmically. HE then lathers the JUDGE’s face. Still whistling, HE stands back to survey the JUDGE, who is now totally relaxed, eyes closed. HE picks up the razor and sings to it)

N O W T H E N , M Y F R I E N D

N O W TO Y O U R P U R P O S E

(Opens

(Bows)

(TODD freezes; the JUDGE closes his eyes, settles comfortably, speaks) And pretty as a rosebud

(Music rising)

As pretty as her mother?

(Mildly puzzled)

What? What was that?

(As the music reaches a shrill crescendo, TODD is slowly bringing the razor toward the JUDGE’s throat when suddenly the JUDGE opens his eyes and starts to twist around in curiosity)

(Musingly, lightly)

Oh, nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed?

(Starts to shave the JUDGE) P

A R E A W O N D E R

P R E T T Y W O M E N

( t o d d )

S I T T I N G I N T H E W I N D O W O R

S TA N D I N G O N T H E S TA I R ,

S O M E T H I N G I N T H E M

C H E E R S T H E A I R

P R E T T Y W O M E N

S I L H O U E T T E D

S TAY W I T H I N Y O U

j u d g e

t o d d

G L A N C I N G

S TAY F O R E V E R

j u d g e

t o d d

j u d g e

B R E AT H I N G L I G H T LY . . .

P R E T T Y W O M E N

t o d d

B o t H

P R E T T Y W O M E N !

B L O W I N G O U T T H E I R C A N D L E S O R

C O M B I N G O U T T H E I R H A I R . . .

j u d g e

T H E N T H E Y L E AV E . . .

E V E N W H E N T H E Y L E AV E Y O U

A N D VA N I S H , T H E Y S O M E H O W

C A N S T I L L R E M A I N

T H E R E W I T H Y O U ,

T H E R E W I T H Y O U .

B o t H

t o d d

E V E N W H E N T H E Y L E AV E ,

T H E Y S T I L L

A R E

T H E R E .

T H E Y ’ R E T H E R E

A H ,

P R E T T Y W O M E N

AT T H E I R M I R R O R S

t o d d

I N T H E I R G A R D E N S . . .

j u d g e

t o d d

L E T T E R - W R I T I N G

j u d g e

F L O W E R - P I C K I N G

t o d d

W E AT H E R - WAT C H I N G

B o t H

H O W T H E Y M A K E A M A N S I N G

P R O O F O F H E AV E N

A S Y O U ’ R E L I V I N G

P R E T T Y W O M E N , S I R !

j u d g e

P R E T T Y W O M E N , Y E S !

P R E T T Y W O M E N , S I R !

P R E T T Y W O M E N !

P R E T T Y W O M E N , S I R !

P R E T T Y W O M E N

t o d d

P R E T T Y W O M E N , H E R E ’ S TO

P R E T T Y W O M E N ,

A L L T H E

P R E T T Y W O M E N . . .

(TODD raises his arm in a huge arc and is about to slice the razor across the JUDGE’s throat when ANTHONY bursts in)

a N t H o N Y

J O H A N N A M A R R I E S M E S U N D AY,

E V E RY T H I N G ’ S S E T, W E L E AV E TO N I G H T

(Fade on cue)

W E ’ L L B E I N PA R I S B Y M O N D AY,

O U T O F T H AT H E A RT L E S S T Y R A N T ’ S S I G H T

j u d g e

(Jumping up, spilling the basin and knocking the razor from TODD’s hand)

You!

Judge Turpin!

a N t H o N Y

There is indeed a Higher Power to warn me thus in time

(As ANTHONY retreats, HE jumps on him and grabs him by the arm)

Johanna elope with you? Deceiving slut I’ll lock her up in some obscure retreat where neither you nor any other vile, corrupting youth shall ever lay eyes on her again.

(Shaking himself free)

But, sir, I beg of you

(To TODD)

And as for you, barber, it is all too clear what company you keep. Service them well! and hold their custom for you’ll have none of mine.

(HE strides out and down the stairs)

Mr. Todd!

(Shouting)

Out! Out, I say! #

(Bewildered, ANTHONY leaves. Music begins under, very agitated. TODD stands motionless, in shock. As the JUDGE hurries off down the street, MRS. LOVETT, with a new bottle of gin in her hand, sees him. SHE glances after him, then goes into the back parlor where TOBIAS is now asleep SHE looks at him, puts down the bottle and hurries out and up the stairs to TODD) M

All this running and shouting What is it now, dear?

The sailor busted in. I saw them both running down the street and I said to myself:

“The fat’s in the fire, for sure!”

(Interrupting)

I H A D H I M !

H I S T H R O AT WA S B A R E

B E N E AT H M Y H A N D !

(Alarmed, pacifying)

There, there, dear. Don’t fret.

N O , I H A D H I M !

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

t o d d

H I S T H R O AT WA S T H E R E ,

A N D H E ’ L L N E V E R C O M E A G A I N !

M r S . L o V e t t

E A S Y N O W.

H U S H , L O V E , H U S H

I K E E P T E L L I N G Y O U

(Violently)

t o d d

W H E N ?

M r S . L o V e t t

W H AT ’ S Y O U R R U S H ?

t o d d

W H Y D I D I WA I T ?

Y O U TO L D M E TO WA I T !

N O W H E ’ L L N E V E R C O M E A G A I N !

(Music becomes ferocious. TODD’s insanity, always close to the surface, explodes finally)

T H E R E ’ S A H O L E I N T H E W O R L D

L I K E A G R E AT B L A C K P I T

A N D I T ’ S F I L L E D W I T H P E O P L E

W H O A R E F I L L E D W I T H S H I T

A N D T H E V E R M I N O F T H E W O R L D

I N H A B I T I T B U T N O T F O R L O N G !

T H E Y A L L D E S E RV E TO D I E !

T E L L Y O U W H Y, M R S . L O V E T T,

( t o d d )

T E L L Y O U W H Y,

B E C A U S E I N A L L O F T H E W H O L E H U M A N R A C E , M R S L O V E T T,

T H E R E A R E T W O K ! N D S O F M E N A N D O N LY T W O .

T H E R E ’ S T H E O N E S TAY I N G P U T

I N H I S P R O P E R P L A C E

A N D T H E O N E W I T H H I S F O O T

I N T H E O T H E R O N E ' S FA C E

L O O K AT M E , M R S L O V E T T,

L O O K AT Y O U !

N O , W E A L L D E S E RV E TO D I E !

E V E N Y O U , M R S L O V E T T

E V E N I .

B E C A U S E T H E L I V E S O F T H E W I C K E D S H O U L D B E

(Slashes at the air)

M A D E B R I E F.

F O R T H E R E S T O F U S , D E AT H

W I L L B E A R E L I E F

W E A L L D E S E RV E TO D I E !

(Keening)

A N D I ’ L L N E V E R S E E J O H A N N A ,

N O , I ’ L L N E V E R H U G M Y G I R L TO M E

F I N I S H E D !

(Turns on the audience)

A L L R I G H T ! Y O U , S I R ,

H O W A B O U T A S H AV E ?

(Slashes twice)

C O M E A N D V I S I T

Y O U R G O O D F R I E N D S W E E N E Y

Y O U , S I R , TO O , S I R

W E L C O M E TO T H E G R AV E !

I W I L L H AV E V E N G E A N C E ,

I W I L L H AV E S A LVAT I O N !

W H O , S I R ? Y O U , S I R ?

N O O N E ’ S I N T H E C H A I R

C O M E O N , C O M E O N !

S W E E N E Y ’ S WA I T I N G !

( t o d d )

I WA N T Y O U , B L E E D E R S !

Y O U , S I R A N Y B O D Y !

G E N T L E M E N , N O W D O N ’ T B E S H Y !

N O T O N E M A N , N O ,

N O R T E N M E N ,

N O R A H U N D R E D

C A N A S S U A G E M E

I W I L L H AV E Y O U !

(To MRS. LOVETT)

A N D I W I L L G E T H I M B A C K

E V E N A S H E G L O AT S

I N T H E M E A N T I M E I ’ L L P R A C T I C E

O N L E S S H O N O R A B L E T H R O AT S

(Keening again)

A N D M Y L U C Y L I E S I N A S H E S

A N D I ’ L L N E V E R S E E M Y G I R L A G A I N ,

B U T T H E W O R K WA I T S ,

I ’ M A L I V E AT L A S T

(Exalted)

A N D I ' M F U L L O F J O Y !

(HE drops down into the barber’s chair in a seat, panting)

M r S . L o V e t t

(Who has been watching him intently)

That’s all very well, but all that matters now is him.

(SHE points to the chest, sits motionless. SHE goes to him, peers at him)

Listen! Do you hear me? Can you hear me? Get control of yourself.

(SHE slaps his cheek. After a long pause TODD, still in a half-dream, gets to his feet)

What are we going to do about him? And there’s the lad downstairs. We’d better go and have a look and be sure he’s still there When I left him he was sound asleep in the parlor.

(SHE starts downstairs)

Come on!

(TODD follows. SHE disappears into the back parlor and re-emerges)

No problem there. He’s still sleeping. He’s simple as a baby lamb. Later I can fob him off with some story easy But him!

(Indicating the tonsorial parlor above)

What are we going to do with him?

(Disinterestedly)

Later on, when it’s dark, we’ll take him to some secret place and bury him. M

Well, of course, we could do that. I don’t suppose there’s any relatives going to come poking around looking for him But

(Pause. Chord)

You know me Sometimes ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinking # 1 8 A L i t t l e P r i e s t S

I

(TODD

(SHE sighs)

(Becoming aware, chuckling)

Ah!

G O O D , Y O U G O T I T

(Warming to it)

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

TA K E , F O R I N S TA N C E ,

M R S . M O O N E Y A N D H E R P I E S H O P.

B U S I N E S S N E V E R B E T T E R , U S I N G O N LY

P U S S Y C AT S A N D TO A S T

A N D A P U S S Y ’ S G O O D F O R M AY B E S I X O R

S E V E N AT T H E M O S T.

A N D I ’ M S U R E T H E Y C A N ’ T C O M PA R E

A S FA R A S TA S T E

t o d d .

M R S . L O V E T T,

W H AT A C H A R M I N G N O T I O N ,

E M I N E N T LY P R A C T I C A L A N D Y E T

A P P R O P R I AT E , A S A LWAY S .

M R S L O V E T T

H O W I D I D W I T H O U T Y O U

A L L T H E S E Y E A R S I ’ L L N E V E R K N O W !

H O W D E L E C TA B L E !

A L S O U N D E T E C TA B L E

H O W C H O I C E !

H O W R A R E !

M r S . L o V e t t

W E L L , I T D O E S S E E M A

WA S T E . . .

I t ’ s a n i d e a . . .

T H I N K A B O U T I T . . .

L O T S O F O T H E R G E N T L E M E N ’ L L

S O O N B E C O M I N G F O R A S H AV E

W O N ’ T T H E Y ?

T H I N K O F

A L L T H E M

P I E S !

t o d d

F O R W H AT ’ S T H E S O U N D O F T H E W O R L D O U T T H E R E ?

M r S . L o V e t t

W H AT, M R TO D D ,

W H AT, M R . TO D D ,

W H AT I S T H AT S O U N D ?

t o d d

T H O S E C R U N C H I N G N O I S E S P E RVA D I N G T H E A I R ?

M r S . L o V e t t

Y E S , M R TO D D ,

Y E S , M R TO D D , Y E S ,

A L L A R O U N D

t o d d

I T ’ S M A N D E V O U R I N G M A N , M Y D E A R ,

A N D W H O A R E W E

TO D E N Y I T I N H E R E ?

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

T H E N W H O A R E W E

TO D E N Y I T I N H E R E ?

These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for.

(SHE goes to the counter and comes back with an imaginary pie)

M r S . L o V e t t

Here we are, hot from the oven

(SHE holds it out to him)

W H AT I S T H AT ?

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

I T ’ S P R I E S T

H AV E A L I T T L E P R I E S T.

I S I T R E A L LY G O O D ?

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

S I R , I T ’ S TO O G O O D ,

AT L E A S T

T

S O I T ’ S P R E T T Y F R E S H

(Looking at it)

AW F U L L O T O F FAT

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

O N LY W H E R E I T S AT

t o d d

H AV E N ’ T Y O U G O T P O E T O R S O M E T H I N G L I K E T H AT ?

D

T

(Tasting it)

Heavenly.

(MRS. LOVETT giggles)

Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but not as bland as curate, either.

And good for business always leaves you wanting more. Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays

(TODD chuckles MRS LOVETT presents another imaginary pie)

L

I

(TODD makes a face) A

(Looking past her at an imaginary oven)

M r S . L o V e t t

M E R C Y N O , S I R ,

L O O K C L O S E R ,

Y O U ’ L L N O T I C E I T ’ S G R O C E R .

t o d d

L O O K S T H I C K E R

M O R E L I K E V I C A R .

M r S . L o V e t t

N O , I T H A S TO B E G R O C E R I T ’ S G R E E N .

t o d d

T H E H I S TO RY O F T H E W O R L D , M Y L O V E

M r S . L o V e t t

S AV E A L O T O F G R AV E S ,

D O A L O T O F R E L AT I V E S FAV O R S

t o d d

I S T H O S E B E L O W S E RV I N G T H O S E U P A B O V E

M r S . L o V e t t

E V E RY B O D Y S H AV E S ,

S O T H E R E S H O U L D B E P L E N T Y O F F L AV O R S

t o d d

H O W G R AT I F Y I N G F O R O N C E TO K N O W

B o t H

M r S . L o V e t t

Now, let’s see ...

(Surveying an imaginary tray of pies on the counter)

We’ve got tinker ... t o d d

(Looking at it)

Something pinker

M r S . L o V e t t

Tailor? t o d d

(Shaking his head)

Paler.

Butler?

M r S . L o V e t t

t o d d

Subtler M r S . L o V e t t

Potter?

(Feeling it)

t o d d

Hotter. M r S . L o V e t t

Locksmith?

(TODD shrugs, defeated. MRS. LOVETT offers another imaginary pie)

L O V E LY B I T O F C L E R K

t o d d

M AY B E F O R A L A R K M r S . L o V e t t

T H E N A G A I N , T H E R E ’ S S W E E P

I F Y O U WA N T I T C H E A P

A N D Y O U L I K E I T D A R K .

(Another)

T RY T H E F I N A N C I E R

P E A K O F H I S C A R E E R .

t o d d

T H AT L O O K S P R E T T Y R A N K .

M r S . L o V e t t

W E L L H E D R A N K N O ,

I T ’ S B A N K

C A S H I E R

N E V E R R E A L LY S O L D

(Feels it)

M AY B E I T WA S O L D

t o d d

H AV E Y O U A N Y B E A D L E ?

(Offers another pie)

Now this may be a bit stringy, but then, of course, it’s fiddler player.

This isn’t fiddle player. It’s piccolo player.

How can you tell?

It’s piping hot.

Then blow on it first (HE guffaws)

t o d d

T H AT E V E RY B O D Y

G O E S D O W N W E L L W I T H B E E R .

M r S . L o V e t t

B U T E V E RY B O D Y

G O E S D O W N W E L L W I T H B E E R .

M r S . L o V e t t

Since marine doesn’t appeal to you, how about rear admiral?

t o d d

Too salty. I prefer general.

M r S . L o V e t t

With or without his privates? “With” is extra.

(TODD chortles)

t o d d

(As MRS. LOVETT offers another pie)

W H AT I S T H AT ? M r S . L o V e t t

I T ’ S F O P

F I N E S T I N T H E S H O P.

O R W E H AV E S O M E S H E P H E R D ’ S P I E P E P P E R E D

W I T H A C T U A L S H E P H E R D

O N TO P.

A N D I ’ V E J U S T B E G U N

H E R E ’ S T H E P O L I T I C I A N S O O I LY

I T ’ S S E RV E D W I T H A D O I LY

(TODD makes a face)

N O T O N E ? t o d d

P U T I T O N A B U N

(As SHE looks at him quizzically)

W E L L , Y O U N E V E R K N O W I F I T ’ S G O I N G TO R U N

M r S . L o V e t t

T RY T H E F R I A R .

F R I E D , I T ’ S D R I E R t o d d

N O , T H E C L E R G Y I S R E A L LY

TO O C O A R S E A N D TO O M E A LY

Wait! True, we don’t have Judge yet but we ’ ve got something you might fancy even better. t

What’s that?

(Handing him a butcher’s cleaver)

Executioner.

(TODD roars, and then, picking up her rolling pin, hands it to her)

(Music continues as the two of them brandish their “ weapons. ” The scene blacks out)

(Thanks to her increasing prosperity, MRS. LOVETT has created a modest outdoor eating garden outside the pieshop, consisting of a large wooden table with two benches, a few bushes in pots, birds in cages. At rise, contented customers, one of whom is drunk, are filling the garden, devouring their pies and drinking ale while TOBIAS, in a waiter’s apron, drums up trade along the sidewalk Inside the pieshop, MRS LOVETT, in a “fancy” gown, a sign of her upward mobility, doles out pies from the counter and collects a few on a tray to bring into the garden subsequently TODD is pacing restlessly in the tonsorial parlor. The BEGGAR WOMAN hangs around throughout, hungry and ominous)

M O N G Y O U W I L L T E L L Y O U , O F C O U R S E

L A D I E S A N D G E N T L E M E N ,

Y O U C A N ’ T I M A G I N E T H E R A P T U R E I N S TO R E

(Indicating the shop)

J U S T I N S I D E O F T H I S D O O R !

(Beating his usual drum)

T H E R E Y O U ’ L L S A M P L E

M R S L O V E T T ’ S M E AT P I E S ,

S AV O RY A N D S W E E T P I E S ,

A S Y O U ’ L L S E E .

Y O U W H O E AT P I E S ,

M R S L O V E T T ’ S M E AT P I E S

C O N J U R E U P T H E T R E AT P I E S

U S E D TO B E !

t o B i a S & C u S t o M e r S (Sing simultaneously)

M a N ( t e n o r ) :

O V E R H E R E , B O Y, H O W A B O U T S O M E A L E ?

M e N :

L E T M E H AV E A N O T H E R , L A D D I E !

W o M e N :

T E L L M E , A R E T H E Y F L AV O R S O M E ?

T H E Y A R E .

t o B i a S : (To SECOND MAN)

R I G H T AWAY

W o M e N :

C O U L D W E H AV E S O M E S E RV I C E O V E R H E R E , B O Y ?

M e N ( t e n o r s ) :

C O U L D W E H AV E S O M E S E RV I C E , WA I T E R ?

W o M e N :

G O D T H AT ’ S G O O D !

M e N ( t e n o r s ) :

W H AT A B O U T T H AT P I E , B O Y ?

W o M e N :

T E L L M E , A R E T H E Y T E N D E R ?

t o B i a S :

T H R U P P E N C E .

M e N ( B a r i t o n e s ) :

Y E S , W H AT A B O U T T H AT P I E , B O Y ?

W o M e N :

T H R U P P E N C E F O R A M E AT P I E ?

M e N ( B a r i t o n e s )

W H E R E ’ S T H E A L E I A S K E D Y O U F O R , B O Y ?

t o B i a S :

L A D I E S A N D G E N T L E M E N !

(Ringing a bell to attract TOBIAS’s attention)

TO B Y !

(SHE starts into the garden with a tray of pies)

t o B i a S

C O M I N G !

(To a customer)

‘ S C U S E M E M

(Indicating a beckoning customer)

A

R I G H T, M U M !

(HE runs inside, picks up a jug of ale, whisks back out into the garden and starts filling tankards) M

Q

(Licking their fingers)

G

(A bundle of activity, serving pies, collecting money, giving orders, addressing each of the patrons individually and with equal insincerity)

N

TO B Y !

(Indicating a customer) O

(Spying the BEGGAR WOMAN)

TO B Y !

G O D , T H AT ’ S G O O D !

(TOBIAS shoos the BEGGAR WOMAN away, but SHE soon comes back, sniffing)

M r S . L o V e t t

(To other CUSTOMERS, without breaking rhythm)

W H AT ’ S Y O U R P L E A S U R E , D E A R I E ?

N O , W E D O N ’ T C U T S L I C E S

C O R , M E E Y E S I S B L E A RY !

(As TOBIAS is about to pour for a plastered customer)

TO B Y !

N O N E F O R T H E G E N T L E M A N !

I C O U L D U P M E P R I C E S

I ’ M A L I T T L E L E E RY

B U S I N E S S

C O U L D N ’ T B E B E T T E R , T H O U G H C u S t o M e r S

G O D , T H AT ’ S G O O D ! M r S . L o V e t t

K N O C K O N W O O D

(SHE does)

(Leaning out of the window)

P S S T ! M r S . L o V e t t

(To a customer)

E X C U S E M E

(To TOBIAS)

M r S . L o V e t t

(Moving toward him)

Y E S , W H AT, L O V E ?

Q U I C K , T H O U G H , T H E T R A D E I S B R I S K .

t o d d

B U T I T ’ S S I X O ’ C L O C K !

M r S . L o V e t t

S O I T ’ S S I X O ’ C L O C K

t o d d

I T WA S D U E TO A R R I V E

AT A Q U A RT E R TO F I V E

t o d d

A N D I T ’ S S I X O ’ C L O C K !

I ’ V E B E E N WA I T I N G A L L D AY !

B U T I T S H O U L D H AV E B E E N H E R E

B Y N O W !

M O R E H O T P I E S !

t o d d

Y O U ’ L L C O M E B A C K

W H E N I T C O M E S ?

M r S . L o V e t t

A N D I T ’ S P R O B A B LY A L R E A D Y

D O W N T H E B L O C K !

I T ’ L L B E H E R E , I T ’ L L B E H E R E !

H AV E A B E A K E R O F B E E R

A N D S TO P W O R RY I N ’ , D E A R ,

N O W, N O W . . .

C u S t o M e r S

M r S . L o V e t t

(To TODD, moving back to the garden)

W I L L Y O U WA I T T H E R E ,

C O O L LY,

‘ C O S M Y C U S TO M E R S T R U LY

A R E G E T T I N G U N R U LY.

M r S . L o V e t t

(Circulating in the garden)

A N D W H AT ’ S Y O U R P L E A S U R E , D E A R I E ?

(Spilling ale)

O O P S ! I B E G Y O U R PA R D O N !

J U S T M E H A N D S I S S M E A RY

(Sporting a would-be freeloader)

TO B Y ! R

(TOBIAS catches him, collects the money; MRS. LOVETT turns to another customer)

( M r S . L o V e t t )

D O N ’ T Y O U L O V E A G A R D E N ?

A LWAY S M A K E S M E T E A RY

(Looking back at the freeloader)

M U S T B E O N E O F T H E M F O R E I G N E R S

C u S t o M e r S

G O D T H AT ’ S G O O D ! T H AT I S D E L I C I O U S !

(During the following a huge crate appears high on a crane and moves slowly downstage to the tonsorial parlor TODD sees it)

M r S . L o V e t t

W H AT ’ S M Y S E C R E T ?

(To a woman)

F R A N K LY, D E A R F O R G I V E M Y C A N D O R

FA M I LY S E C R E T,

A L L TO D O W I T H H E R B S .

T H I N G S L I K E B E I N G

C A R E F U L W I T H Y O U R C O R I A N D E R ,

T H AT ' S W H AT M A K E S T H E G R AV Y G R A N D E R !

C u S t o M e r S

M O R E H O T P I E S !

(MRS. LOVETT hastens into the shop and loads the tray again)

M O R E H O T !

M O R E P I E S ! t o d d

(Out the window)

P S S T !

(To a customer in the shop)

M r S . L o V e t t

E X C U S E M E t o d d

P S S T ! M r S . L o V e t t

(To TOBIAS)

P S S T !

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

W H AT N O W, L O V E ?

Q U I C K , T H O U G H , T H E T R A D E I S B R I S K t o d d

B U T I T ’ S H E R E !

M r S . L o V e t t

I T ’ S W H E R E ? t o d d

C O M I N G U P T H E S TA I R !

M r S . L o V e t t

(Holding up the tray)

I ’ L L G E T R I D O F T H I S L O T

A S T H E Y ’ R E S T I L L P R E T T Y H O T

A N D T H E N I ’ L L B E T H E R E !

N O , I ’ L L B E T H E R E !

I W I L L B E T H E R E !

B U T T H E Y ’ L L N E V E R B E S O L D

I F I L E T ‘ E M G E T C O L D

t o d d

I T ’ S A B O U T TO B E O P E N E D

O R D O N ’ T Y O U C A R E ?

B U T W E H AV E TO P R E PA R E !

(During the following, the crate is lowered to the tonsorial parlor)

M r S . L o V e t t

(Without pausing for breath, smiling to a customer)

O H , A N D

I N C I D E N TA L LY, D E A R I E ,

Y O U K N O W M R S M O O N E Y

S A L E S ‘ V E B E E N S O D R E A RY

(Spots the BEGGAR WOMAN again)

TO B Y !

(To the same customer)

P O O R T H I N G I S P E N N I L E S S

(Indicating BEGGAR WOMAN, to TOBIAS)

W H AT A B O U T T H AT L O O N Y ?

( M r S . L o V e t t )

(To the same customer, as TOBIAS shoos the BEGGAR WOMAN away again)

L O O K I N ’ , S O RT O F B E E RY

O H W E L L , G O T H E R C O M E U P PA N C E

(Hawklike, to a rising customer)

A N D T H AT ’ L L B E T H R U P P E N C E A N D

C u S t o M e r S

(Singing with mouths full)

G O D , T H AT ’ S G O O D T H AT I S D E H AV E Y O U

L I C I O U S E V E R TA S T E D S M E L L S U C H

O H M Y G O D W H AT M O R E T H AT ’ S P I E S G O O D !

M r S . L o V e t t

S O S H E S H O U L D

(MRS. LOVETT goes up to the tonsorial parlor, entering as TODD opens the crate, revealing an elaborate barber chair)

t o d d & M r S . L o V e t t

(Swooning with admiration)

O O O O H H H H ! O O O O H H H H !

(The empty crate swings away on the crane)

t o d d

I S T H AT A C H A I R F I T F O R A K I N G ,

A W O N D R O U S N E AT

A N D M O S T PA RT I C U L A R C H A I R ?

Y O U T E L L M E W H E R E

I S T H E R E A S E AT

C A N H A L F C O M PA R E

W I T H T H I S PA RT I C U L A R T H I N G !

I H AV E A F E W

M I N O R A D J U S T M E N T S

TO M A K E

T H E Y ’ L L TA K E

A M O M E N T

I ’ L L C A L L Y O U

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

I T ’ S G O R G E O U S !

I T ’ S G O R G E O U S !

I T ’ S P E R F E C T !

I T ’ S G O R G E O U S !

Y O U M A K E Y O U R F E W

M I N O R A D J U S T M E N T S

Y O U TA K E Y O U R T I M E ,

I ’ L L G O S E E TO T H E C U S TO M E R S

(Looking at the chair, as MRS. LOVETT goes back to the garden)

I H AV E A N O T H E R F R I E N D

t o B i a S

(To the customers)

I S T H AT A P I E F I T F O R A K I N G ,

A W O N D R O U S S W E E T

A N D M O S T PA RT I C U L A R T H I N G ?

Y O U S E E , M A’ A M , W H Y

T H E R E I S N O M E AT

P I E C A N C O M P E T E

W I T H T H I S D E L E C TA B L E

P I E .

t o B i a S & M r S . L o V e t t

T H E C R U S T A L L V E LV E T Y A N D WAV Y,

T H AT G L A Z E , T H O S E C R I M P S

M r S . L o V e t t

I T ’ S G O R G E O U S !

I T ’ S G O R G E O U S !

C u S t o M e r S

Y U M !

I T ’ S P E R F E C T !

I T ’ S G O R G E O U S !

A N D T H E N T H E T H I C K , S U C C U L E N T G R AV Y

O N E W H I F F, O N E G L I M P S E . . .

t o d d

Y U M !

Y U M !

C u S t o M e r S

Y U M ! Y U M !

Y U M ! Y U M !

Y U M ! Y U M !

Y U M ! Y U M !

A N D N O W TO T E S T

T H I S B E S T O F B A R B E R C H A I R S

M r S . L o V e t t

S O R I C H ,

S O T H I N K

I T M A K E S Y O U S I C K

I T ’ S T I M E . . .

I T ’ S T I M E

P S S T !

(To the customers)

E X C U S E M E

(From above ) P S S T !

(To TOBIAS)

t o B i a S

S O T E N D E R

T H AT Y O U S U R R E N D E R

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

C u S t o M e r S

Y U M !

Y U M !

Y U M ! Y U M !

P S S T !

(Moving toward him)

A L L S E T, L O V E ?

Q U I C K , N O W !

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

M E H E A RT ’ S A F L U T T E R !

t o d d

W H E N I P O U N D T H E F L O O R ,

I T ’ S A S I G N A L TO S H O W

T H AT I ’ M R E A D Y TO G O ,

W H E N I P O U N D T H E F L O O R !

I J U S T WA N T TO B E S U R E .

W H E N I ’ M C E RTA I N T H AT Y O U ’ R E

I N P L A C E

M r S . L o V e t t

W H E N Y O U P O U N D T H E F L O O R ,

Y E S , Y O U TO L D M E , I K N O W,

Y O U ’ L L B E R E A D Y TO G O

W H E N Y O U P O U N D T H E F L O O R

W I L L Y O U T R U S T M E ?

W I L L Y O U T R U S T M E ?

I ’ L L B E WA I T I N G B E L O W

F O R T H E W H I S T L E TO B L O W . . .

t o d d

I ’ L L P O U N D T H R E E T I M E S

(HE demonstrates on the frame of the window)

T H R E E T I M E S

(HE does it again; SHE nods impatiently)

A N D T H E N Y O U

(SHE knocks at the two times)

T H R E E T I M E S

(SHE knocks heavily and wearily at the wall)

I F Y O U

(SHE knocks again, rolling her eyes skyward)

E X A C T LY

M O R E H O T P I E S !

C u S t o M e r S

(Over her shoulder to them)

R I G H T !

(Seeing her attention waver)

WA I T !

(SHE runs into the bakehouse, which we see for the first time. Upstage are the large baking ovens Downstage is a butcher’s block table, on which stands a bizarre meat-grinding machine. In the wall is the mouth of a chute leading down from the tonsorial parlor. Upstage is a trap door leading down to an invisible cellar. While music continues under, TODD takes a stack of books tied together, puts it in the chair, then pounds three times on the floor. MRS. LOVETT responds by knocking three times on the mouth of the chute. TODD pulls a lever in the arm of the chair. The books disappear through a trap. Music. The books reappear from the hole in the bakehouse wall and plop on the floor MRS LOVETT knocks three times excitedly on the chute; TODD responds by pounding on the floor three times) C

(MRS. LOVETT hurries out of the bakehouse) M

(TODD resumes tinkering happily with the chair)

(To the customers)

( t o B i a S & M r S . L o V e t t )

F E E L T H E C R U S T, H O W T H I N S H E ( I ) R O L L E D I T !

E AT T H E M S L O W, ‘ C O S

E V E RY O N E ’ S A P R I Z E !

E AT T H E M S L O W, ‘ C O S

T H AT ’ S T H E L O T A N D N O W W E ’ V E S O L D I T !

(SHE hangs up a “Sold Out” sign)

C O M E A G A I N TO M O R R O W

M r S . L o V e t t

(Spotting something along the street)

H O L D I T

M O R E H O T P I E S !

C u S t o M e r S

M r S . L o V e t t

B L E S S M Y E Y E S !

(For SHE sees the MAN WITH CAP, from Act I, approaching the barber sign. HE looks up and rings TODD’s bell three times)

F R E S H S U P P L I E S !

(TODD leans out, sees the man, beckons him up; the man starts up the steps. TODD holds his razor, THEY both freeze. MRS, LOVETT takes down the “Sold Out” sign and turns back to the customers)

M r S . L o V e t t

H O W A B O U T I T, D E A R I E ?

B E H E R E I N A T W I N K L I N G !

J U S T C O N F I R M S M Y T H E O RY

TO B Y !

G O D WAT C H E S O V E R U S

D I D N ’ T H AV E A N I N K L I N G P O S I T I V E LY

E E R I E . . .

t o B i a S

I S T H AT A P I E

F I T F O R A K I N G ,

A W O N D R O U S S W E E T

A N D M O S T D E L E C TA B L E

T H I N G ?

Y O U S E E , M A’ A M , W H Y

T H E R E I S N O M E AT P I E

M r S . L o V e t t

(Spotting the BEGGAR WOMAN again)

TO B Y !

C u S t o M e r S

Y U M !

Y U M !

Y U M !

Y U M ! Y U M !

Y U M !

Y U M !

(As TOBIAS leads the BEGGAR WOMAN off again, MRS LOVETT runs back to the pieshop)

(Starting with their mouths full, gradually swallowing and singing clearly) G

(MRS.

! ! !

(The scene blacks out. The chimes of St. Dunstan’s sound softly. It is dawn. ANTHONY is searching the streets of London for JOHANNA)

(As HE continues the search, the Light comes up on the tonsorial parlor TODD is seated on the outside stairs, smoking and enjoying the morning. During the following passage, a customer arrives. TODD ushers him into the office and into the chair, preparing him for a shave. Throughout the song, TODD remains benign, wistful, dream-like. What HE sings is totally detached from the action, as is HE. HE sings to the air)

( t o d d )

W I T H Y E L L O W H A I R , L I K E W H E AT ?

I T H I N K W E S H A L L N O T M E E T A G A I N

(HE slashes the customer’s throat)

M Y L I T T L E D O V E , M Y S W E E T

J O H A N N A

I ’ L L S T E A L Y O U ,

a N t H o N Y

J O H A N N A . . . t o d d

G O O D B Y E , J O H A N N A

Y O U ’ R E G O N E , A N D Y E T Y O U ’ R E M I N E .

I ’ M F I N E , J O H A N N A ,

I ’ M F I N E !

(HE pulls the lever and the customer disappears down the chute)

a N t H o N Y

J O H A N N A . . .

(Night falls. We see a wisp of smoke rise from the bakehouse chimney, a small trail gradually bellowing out into a great, noxious plume of black As it thickens, we become aware of MRS. LOVETT, in a white nightdress, inside the bakehouse. The oven doors are open and cast a hot light. SHE is tossing “objects” into the oven. As the music continues under, a figure stumbles into view from the alleyway beside the chimney. It is the BEGGAR WOMAN, coughing and spitting and carrying a meager straw pallet, her bed)

B e g g a r W o M a N

(In a rage, loudly)

S M O K E ! S M O K E !

S

C I T Y O N F I R E !

(SHE tries to interest passers-by but, clearly revolted by her, THEY move away)

W I T C H ! W I T C H !

(Spits at bakehouse) S

C I T Y O N F I R E !

(The smoke trails away as dawn comes up)

( B e g g a r W o M a N )

C I T Y O N F I R E

M I S C H I E F ! M I S C H I E F !

M I S C H I E F ! . . .

(SHE shuffles off. It is now the next day. ANTHONY is searching through another part of London. TODD is upstairs and looking pleasantly down at the street. A second customer arrives and is shown into the shop and prepared, as before)

t o d d

A N D I F I N E V E R H E A R Y O U R V O I C E ,

M Y T U RT L E D O V E , M Y D E A R ,

I S T I L L H AV E R E A S O N TO R E J O I C E :

T H E WAY A H E A D I S C L E A R ,

J O H A N N A

j o H a N N a ’ S V o i C e

(Heard only by ANTHONY, SHE becomes visible behind bars in a section of the madhouse, Fogg’s Asylum, in which SHE has been incarcerated)

I ’ L L M A R RY A N T H O N Y S U N D AY

A N T H O N Y S U N D AY

a N t H o N Y

I F E E L Y O U

t o d

J O H A N N A

t o d d

I T ’ S A LWAY S M O R N I N G I N M Y M I N D , M Y L I T T L E L A M B , M Y P E T,

J O H A N N A . . .

I

j o H a N N a ‘ S V o i C e

C O M E F O R M E . . . O N E D AY . . .

(As THEY both sing the second syllable of the name, TODD slashes the second customer’s throat so that his mouth opens simultaneously with theirs)

T H E WAY I ’ V E D R E A M E D Y O U A R E

(Dusk gathers; TODD looks up)

O H L O O K , J O H A N N A

(HE pulls the lever and the customer disappears)

A S TA R ! a

B

(Tossing the customer’s hat down the chute)

A S H O O T I N G S TA R !

(Night falls again. Smoke rises. MRS. LOVETT is again in the bakehouse. The BEGGAR WOMAN reappears, coughing fit to kill)

B e g g a r W o M a N

(Pointing)

T H E R E ! T H E R E !

S

(Passers-by continue to ignore her)

D

C

(The smoke thins; dawn rises)

(SHE makes a feeble curse with her fingers at the bakehouse)

F I E N D

(Shrugs, turns pathetically to a passer-by)

A L M S A L M S

(SHE shuffles off again. During the last section of the song, which follow’s, TODD welcomes a third customer HE does not kill this one because a wife and child are waiting outside the child has entered the room and sits on the chest watching TODD By the end of the song TODD is again looking softly up at the sky) t o d d

(Shaving the customer) A

J

(Sadly)

U L D P R E VA I L ,

W E ’ D B E T H E WAY W E W E R E ,

J O H A N N A

I F E E L Y O U

J O H A N N A

a N t H o N Y

j o H a N N a ’ S V o i C e

M A R R I E D O N S U N D AY

M A R R I E D O N S U N D AY . . .

(Cheerfully, looking up at the sky)

WA K E U P, J O H A N N A !

t o d d

A N O T H E R B R I G H T R E D D AY !

(Wistful smile)

W E L E A R N , J O H A N N A ,

TO S AY

G O O D B Y E

(Having completed the shave, TODD accepts money from the customer, who leaves with his family)

(Disappearing into the distance)

I ’ L L S T E A L Y O U . . .

(The scene fades and we see the barred door to Fogg’s Asylum. From inside we hear a weird and frightening sound, the cries and jibbers of the inmates. After a moment, rising above the bizarre cacophony, we hear JOHANNA’s voice from inside a window, singing a snatch of “Green Finch and Linnet Bird.” A few moments later, SHE breaks off singing and the inmates quieten too as ANTHONY, dejected, enters As HE starts across the stage, once again we hear JOHANNA’s voice, singing)

(Incredulous, overjoyed, stops in his tracks)

Johanna!

(Calling excitedly up at a window)

Johanna! Johanna!

(A male passer-by enters)

Oh sir, please tell me. What house is this? P a S S e r - B Y

That? That’s Mr. Fogg’s Private Asylum for the Mentally Deranged.

I’d keep away from there if I were you.

(HE exits. Once again we hear JOHANNA’s voice)

Johanna! Johanna!

(HE starts beating wildly on the door)

Open! Open the door!

(The BEADLE, falsely amiable as ever, swaggers on, recognizes him)

B e a d L e

Now, now, friend, what’s all this hollering and shouting?

a N t H o N Y

Oh, sir, there has been a monstrous perversion of justice. A young woman, as sane as you or I, has been incarcerated there.

B e a d L e

Is that a fact? Now what is this young person ’ s name?

a N t H o N Y

Johanna.

B e a d L e

Johanna. That wouldn’t by any chance be Judge Turpin’s ward?

a N t H o N Y

He’s the one. He’s the devil incarnate who has done this to her.

B e a d L e

You watch your tongue. That’s girl’s as mad as the seven seas. I brought her here myself So hop it

a N t H o N Y

You have no right to order me about

B e a d L e

No right, eh? You just hop it or I’m booking you for disturbing of the peace, assailing an officer

a N t H o N Y

Is there no justice in this city? Are the officers of the law as vicious and corrupted as their masters? Johanna! Johanna!

(With a little what-can-you-do? shrug, the BEADLE blows a whistle Two policemen hurry on. The BEADLE nods to ANTHONY. The policemen jump on him but just before THEY subdue him, HE breaks loose and runs away. The Policemen start after him)

B e a d L e

(Calling after them)

After him! Get him!! Bash him on the head if need be! That’s the sort of scalawag that gets this neighborhood into disrepute

(As the scene dims we hear first, in the darkness, the shrieks and moans of the asylum inmates. Then loud and raucous, banishing them, we hear the sound of MRS. LOVETT singing, as lights come up on her back parlor)

(Sitting at a harmonium)

(The parlor has been prettied up with new wallpaper and a second-hand harmonium. TODD is sitting on the love seat, cleaning his pipe. MRS. LOVETT is using the harmonium as a desk. SHE has a little cash book and is counting out shillings and pennies in piles)

Nothing like a nice sit down, is there, dear, after a hard day’s work?

(Piling up coins)

Four and thruppence ... four and eleven pence ...

(Makes a note in the book and does some adding)

That makes seven pounds nine shillings and four pence for this week. Not bad and that don’t include wot I had to payout for my nice cheery wallpaper or the harmonium ...

(Patting it approvingly)

And a real bargain it was, dear, it being only partly singed when the chapel burnt down

(Glancing at the unresponsive TODD)

Mr T , are you listening to me?

Of course

Then what did I say, eh?

(Back in his reflections)

There must be a way to the Judge.

(Cross)

The bloody old Judge! Always harping on the bloody old Judge!

(SHE massages his neck)

We got a nice respectable business now, money coming in regular and since we ’ re careful to pick and choose only strangers and such like wot won’t be missed who’s going to catch on?

(No response; SHE leans across and pecks him on the lips; music)

# 2 1 B y T h e S e a ( P a r t I )

O O H , M R TO D D - -

(Kisses him again)

I ’ M S O H A P P Y

(Again)

(Again)

I C O U L D

E AT Y O U U P, I R E A L LY C O U L D !

Y O U K N O W W H AT I ’ D L I K E TO

D O , M R TO D D ?

(Kisses him again)

W H AT I D R E A M

(Again)

I F T H E B U S I N E S S S TAY S A S G O O D ,

W H E R E I ’ D R E A L LY L I K E TO G O

(No response)

I N A Y E A R O R S O . . .

(No response)

D O N ’ T Y O U WA N T TO K N O W ? t o d d

Of course. M r S . L o V e t t

D O Y O U R E A L LY WA N T TO K N O W ? t o d d

(Feigning enthusiasm)

Yes, yes, I do, I do.

(Music continues under)

(Settling back, after a pause)

I’ve always had a dream ever since I was a skinny little slip of a thing and my rich Aunt Nettie used to take me to the seaside August Bank Holiday the pier making little castles in the sand. I can still feel me toes wiggling around in the briny.

B Y T H E S E A , M R TO D D ,

T H AT ’ S T H E L I F E I C O V E T

B Y T H E S E A , M R . TO D D ,

O O H , I K N O W Y O U ’ D L O V E I T !

Y O U A N D M E , M R T ,

W E C O U L D B E A L O N E

I N A H O U S E W O T W E ’ D A L M O S T O W N

D O W N B Y T H E S E A t o d d

A N Y T H I N G Y O U S AY M r S . L o V e t t

W O U L D N ’ T T H AT B E S M A S H I N G ?

(TODD gives her a pained smile)

W I T H T H E S E A AT O U R G AT E ,

W E ’ L L H AV E K I P P E R E D H E R R I N G

W O T H AV E S W U M TO U S S T R A I G H T

F R O M T H E S T R A I T S O F B E R I N G .

E V E RY N I G H T I N T H E K I P

W H E N W E ’ R E T H R O U G H O U R K I P P E R S ,

I ’ L L B E T H E R E S L I P P I N ’ O F F Y O U R S L I P P E R S

B Y T H E S E A

W I T H T H E F I S H I E S S P L A S H I N G ,

B Y T H E S E A . . .

W O U L D N ’ T T H AT B E S M A S H I N G ?

D O W N B Y T H E S E A

t o d d

A N Y T H I N G Y O U S AY,

A N Y T H I N G Y O U S AY.

M r S . L o V e t t

I C A N S E E U S WA K I N G ,

T H E B R E A K E R S B R E A K I N G ,

T H E S E A G U L L S S Q U AW K I N G :

H O O ! H O O !

( M r S . L o V e t t )

(SHE thinks she’s being charming; TODD looks at her in terror)

I D O M E B A K I N G ,

T H A N I G O WA L K I N G

W I T H Y O U - H O O

(Waves) Y O O - H O O . . .

I ’ L L WA R M M E B O N E S

O N T H E E S P L A N A D E ,

H AV E T E A A N D S C O N E S

W I T H M E G AY Y O U N G B L A D E ,

T H E N I ’ L L K N I T A S W E AT E R

W H I L E Y O U W R I T E A L E T T E R ,

(Coyly)

U N L E S S W E G O T B E T T E R

TO D O - H O O t o d d

Anything you say ... M r S . L o V e t t

T H I N K H O W S N U G I T ’ L L B E

U N D E R N E AT H O U R F L A N N E L

W H E N I T ’ S J U S T Y O U A N D M E

A N D T H E E N G L I S H C H A N N E L

I N O U R C O Z Y R E T R E AT,

K E P T A L L N E AT, A N D T I D Y,

W E ’ L L H AV E C H U M S O V E R E V E RY F R I D AY

B Y T H E S E A t o d d

A N Y T H I N G Y O U S AY

M r S . L o V e t t

D O N ’ T Y O U L O V E T H E W E AT H E R

B Y T H E S E A ?

W E ’ L L G R O W O L D TO G E T H E R

B Y T H E S E A S I D E ,

H O O H O O !

B Y T H E B E A U T I F U L S E A !

(Music under)

Oh, I can see us now in our bathing dresses you in a nice rich navy and me, stripes perhaps

# 2 1 a B y T h e S e a ( P a r t I I )

I T ’ L L B E S O Q U I E T

T H AT W H O ’ L L C O M E B Y I T

E X C E P T A S E A G U L L ?

H O O ! H O O !

W E S H O U L D N ’ T T RY I T,

T H O U G H , T I L L I T ’ S L E G A L

F O R T W O - H O O !

B U T A S E A S I D E W E D D I N G

C O U L D B E D E V I S E D

M E R U M P L E D B E D D I N G

L E G I T I M I Z E D

M E E Y E L I D S ’ L L F L U T T E R ,

I ’ L L T U R N I N TO B U T T E R ,

T H E M O M E N T I M U T T E R

“ I D O - O O ! ”

(TODD gives her a rather appalled glance)

B Y T H E S E A , I N O U R N E S T,

W E C O U L D S H A R E O U R K I P P E R S

W I T H T H E O D D PAY I N G G U E S T

F R O M T H E W E E K E N D T R I P P E R S

H AV E A N I C E S U N N Y S U I T E

F O R T H E G U E S T TO R E S T I N

N O W A N D T H E N , Y O U C O U L D D O T H E G U E S T I N

B Y T H E S E A .

M A R R I E D N I C E A N D P R O P E R ,

B Y T H E S E A

B R I N G A L O N G Y O U R C H O P P E R

TO T H E S E A S I D E ,

(Two slashes)

H O O ! H O O !

B Y T H E B E A U T I F U L S E A !

(Just before the end of the song, SHE plays a measure of “Here Comes the Bride” on the harmonium. After the song, SHE nuzzles up to TODD on the love seat)

Come on, dear Give us a kiss

(Kisses him)

Ooh, that was lovely Now, Mr T , you do love me just a little bit, don’t you?

Of course

Then how about it? Of course, there’d have to be a little visit to St Swithin’s to legalize things. But that wouldn’t be too painful, would it?

(Back with his obsession)

I’ll make them pay for what they did to Lucy

(Almost

scolding)

Now, dear, you listen to me. It’s high time you forgot all them morbid fancies. Your Lucy’s gone, poor thing It’s your Nellie now Here

(SHE takes a bon-bon from her purse)

Have a nice bon-bon

(SHE kisses him over the bon-bon, has a thought)

You know, it’s seventeen years this Whitsun since my poor Albert passed on I don’t see why I shouldn’t be married in white, do you?

(From the pieshop, upstage, we hear ANTHONY calling)

a N t H o N Y

(Off)

Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd!

(HE comes running in)

I’ve found her! t o d d

(Jumping up)

You have found Johanna?

a N t H o N Y

That monster of a Judge has had her locked away in a madhouse!

t o d d

Where? Where? a N t H o N Y

Where no one can reach her, at Mr Fogg’s Asylum Oh, Mr Todd, she’s in there with those screeching, gibbering maniacs

t o d d

A madhouse! A madhouse!

(Swinging around, feverishly excited, buzzing music under)

# 2 2 W i g m a k e r S e q u e n c e

Johanna is as good as rescued.

(Bewildered) She is? t o d d

Where do you suppose all the wigmakers of London go to obtain their human hair? M r S . L o V e t t

Who knows, dear? The morgue, wouldn’t be surprised.

t o d d

Bedlam. They get their hair from the lunatics at Bedlam. a N t H o N Y

Then you think ? t o d d

Fogg’s Asylum? Why not? For the right amount, they will sell you the hair off any madman’s head — M r S . L o V e t t

And the scalp to go with it too, if requested. Excuse me, gentlemen, I’m out!

(Exits) t o d d

(Excitedly, to ANTHONY)

We will write a letter to this Mr. Fogg offering the highest price for hair the exact shade of Johanna’s which I trust you know? a N t H o N Y Yellow.

Not exact enough I must make you into a credible wigmaker and quickly

Yes, Mr ... Todd.

G O O D .

t o d d

(Sings)

T H E R E ’ S C O A R S E A N D F I N E ,

T H E R E ’ S S T R A I G H T A N D C U R LY,

T H E R E ’ S G R E Y, T H E R E ’ S W H I T E ,

T H E R E ’ S A S H , T H E R E ’ S P E A R LY,

T H E R E ’ S C O R N - Y E L L O W, ,

B U F F A N D O C H R E A N D

S T R AW A N D A P R I C O T . . .

a N t H o N Y

T H E R E ’ S C O A R S E A N D F I N E ,

T H E R E ’ S S T R A I G H T A N D C U R LY,

T H E R E ’ S G R AY, T H E R E ’ S W H I T E ,

T H E R E ’ S A S H , T H E R E ’ S P E A R LY,

T H E R E ’ S C O R N - Y E L L O W

(THEY exit. As the lights dim, a QUINTET from the company appears)

N T H E E N G I N E S T U R N I N G . S W E

N E Y ’

R O B L E M S W E N T U P I N S M O K E ,

S W E E N E Y

D I D N ’ T WA I T,

N O T S W E E N E Y !

S E T T H E B A I T,

D I D S W E E N E Y !

S W E E N E Y ! S W E E N E Y ! S W E E N E Y !

(During this, TODD appears on the staircase, accompanied by a strange figure; THEY enter the tonsorial parlor. WE soon realize the figure is ANTHONY, disguised as a wigmaker)

a N t H o N Y

(Finished with his catechism)

W I T H F I N E R T E X T U R E S ,

A S H L O O K S FA I R E R ,

W H I C H M A K E S I T R A R E ,

B U T F L A X E N ’ S R A R E R

Y E S , Y E S , I K N O W -

C H E A P E R , N O T R A R E R

(Music continues under)

H E R E ’ S M O N E Y

(Hands him a purse)

And here’s the pistol (Hands him a gun)

For kill if you must Kill

G O O D

G O O D . G O O D .

N O ! N O !

t o d d

T H E F L A X E N ’ S C H E A P E R

t o d d

a N t H o N Y

I’ll kill a dozen jailers if need be to set her free

t o d d

Then off with you, off But, Anthony, listen to me once again When you have rescued her, bring her back here. I shall guard her while you hire the chaise to Plymouth

a N t H o N Y

I’ll be with you before the evening’s out Mr Todd (Clasping both TODD’s hands)

Oh, thank you friend

(HE hurries off. TODD goes to a little writing table, picks up a quill pen and starts to write The QUINTET sings what HE writes)

# 2 2 a T h e L e t t e r

(Variously as TODD writes)

M

(TODD pauses reflectively)

M O S T H O N O R A

(TODD snorts derisively)

H O N O R A B L E ! (HE resumes writing)

I V

(Thinks, choosing the word)

U

(Thinks)

Y O U N G (Grunts with satisfaction)

S

(Stares off sadly)

J

(Resumes writing)

(Thinks)

(Dips the pen) I

(HE starts to sign, then adds another phrase with a smile)

S H E W I L L B E WA I T I N G

(Reads it over)

WA I T I N G . . .

(Dips pen again, writing carefully)

Y

S W E E N E Y

(A flourish of the pen)

TO D D .

(Music continues under as TODD hurries across the stage to JUDGE TURPIN’s house, knocks on the door, which opens, and hands in the letter)

t o d d

Give this to Judge Turpin. It’s urgent.

(As HE disappears, lights come up on the eating garden. It is early evening. The garden is deserted. MRS. LOVETT is sitting on the steps knitting a half-finished muffler. The bells of St. Dunstan’s sound. After a beat, TOBIAS emerges from the shop with a “Sold Out” sign, puts it on the shop door, and goes to MRS. LOVETT.)

t o B i a S

I put the sold-out sign up, ma ’ am.

That’s my boy.

(Holding up the knitting)

M r S . L o V e t t

Look dear! A lovely muffler and guess who it’s for.

t o B i a S

Coo, ma ’ am. For me?

Wouldn’t you like to know!

M r S . L o V e t t

t o B i a S

Oh, you ’ re so good to me, ma ’ am. Sometimes, when I think what it was like with Signor Pirelli it seems like the Good Lord sent you for me.

M r S . L o V e t t

It’s just my warm heart, dear. Room enough there for all God’s creatures.

# 2 2 b A f t e r L e t t e r

(Coming closer, hovering, very earnest)

You know, ma ’ am, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. If there was a monster or an ogre or anything bad like that wot was after you, I’d rip it apart with my bare fists, I would.

What a sweet child it is. t

Or even if it was just a man ...

(Somewhat uneasy)

A man, dear?

(Exaggeratedly conspiratorial)

A man wot was bad and wot might be luring you all unbeknownst into his evil deeds, like

# 2 3 N o t W h i l e I ’ m A r o u n d

(Even more wary)

What is this? What are·you talking about?

Of course not, dear, and why should it?

What do you mean, “ a man”?

M r S . L o V e t t

(Somewhat relieved, patting his head)

And so they are, dear.

t o B i a S

I ’ L L S E N D ‘ E M H O W L I N G ,

I D O N ’ T C A R E

I G O T WAY S

M r S . L o V e t t

Oh course you do What a sweet, affectionate child it is

t o B i a S

N O O N E ’ S G O N N A H U RT Y O U ,

N O O N E ’ S G O N N A D A R E

I know what Toby deserves

M r S . L o V e t t

t o B i a S

O T H E R S C A N D E S E RT Y O U

N O T TO W O R RY

W H I S T L E , I ’ L L B E T H E R E .

M r S . L o V e t t

Here, have a nice bon-bon.

(Starts to reach for her purse, but TOBIAS stays her hand in adoration)

t o B i a S

D E M O N S ’ L L C H A R M Y O U

W I T H A S M I L E

F O R A W H I L E ,

B U T I N T I M E

N O T H I N G C A N H A R M Y O U ,

N O T W H I L E I ’ M A R O U N D .

(Music continues)

M r S . L o V e t t

What is this foolishness? What’re you talking about?

t o B i a S

Little things wot I’ve been thinking and wondering about It’s him, you see Mr Todd. Oh, I know you fancy him, but men ain’t like women, they ain’t wot you can trust, as I’ve lived and learned

(SHE looks at him uneasily)

S

(Music continues under) M

Now Toby dear, haven’t we had enough foolish chatter? Let’s just sit nice and quiet for a bit. Here.

(SHE pulls out the chatelaine purse, which is now immediately recognizable to the audience as PIRELLI’s money purse, and starts to fumble in it for a bon-bon) t

(Suddenly excited, pointing)

That! That’s Signor Pirelli’s purse!

(MRS LOVETT, realizing her slip, quickly hides it)

M r S . L o V e t t

(Stalling for time)

What’s that? What was that, dear?

t o B i a S

That proves it! What I’ve been thinking That’s his purse

M r S . L o V e t t

(Concealing what is now almost panic)

Silly boy! It’s just a silly little something Mr. T. gave me for my birthday.

t o B i a S

Mr. Todd gave it to you! And how did he get it? How did he get it?

M r S . L o V e t t

Bought it, dear. In the pawnshop, dear.

(To distract him, SHE lifts the unfinished muffler on its needles)

Come on now

N O T H I N G ’ S G O N N A H A R M Y O U ,

N O T W H I L E I ’ M A R O U N D !

N

N O T W H I L E I ’ M A R O U N D .

You don’t understand.

T W O Q U I D WA S I N I T,

T W O O R T H R E E

(Music continuing)

The guvnor giving up his purse with two quid?

N O T F O R A M I N U T E !

D O N ’ T Y O U S E E ?

(Music under)

It was in Mr. Todd’s parlor that the guvnor disappeared. M r S . L o V e t t

(With a weak laugh)

Boys and their fancies! What will we think of next? Here, dear. Sit here by your Aunt Nellie like a good boy and look at your lovely muffler. How warm it’s going to keep you as the days draw in. And it’s so becoming on you.

t o B i a S

D E M O N S ’ L L C H A R M Y O U

W I T H A S M I

F

You know, dear, it’s the strangest thing you coming to chat with me right now of all moments because, as I was sitting here with my needles, I was thinking: “What a good boy Toby is! So hard working, so obedient ” And I thought know how you ’ ve always fancied coming into the bakehouse with me to help bake the pies?

(For the first time distracted)

Oh yes, ma ’ am Indeed, ma ’ am Yes

t o B i a S

Well, how about it?

You mean it? I can help make ‘ em and bake ‘em?

(MRS. LOVETT kisses him again and, rising, starts drawing him back toward the pieshop)

No time like the present, Come on!

(SHE leads him through the pieshop into the bakehouse)

(Looking around)

Coo, quite a stink, ain’t there?

(Indicating the trap door)

Them steps go down to the old cellars and the whiffs come up, love. God knows what’s down there so moldy and dark And there’s always a couple of rats gone home to Jesus.

(SHE leads him across to the ovens)

Now the bake ovens is here.

(SHE opens the oven doors. A red glow illuminates the stage. SHE closes the doors)

They’re big enough, ain’t they?

Hardly big enough to bake all the pies we sell Ten dozen at a time Always be sure to close the doors properly, like this.

(Closes doors. Draws him to the butcher’s block table)

Now here’s the grinder.

(SHE turns its handle, indicating how it operates)

You see, you pop meat in and you grind it and it comes out here.

(Indicates the mouth of the grinder)

And you know the secret that makes the pies so sweet and tender? Three times. You must put the meat through the grinder three times.

Three times, eh? M

That’s my boy Smoothly, smoothly And as soon as a new batch of meat comes in, we’ll put you to work.

(SHE starts for the door back into the pie shop) t o B i a S

(Blissfully )

Me making pies all on me own! Coo!

(Noticing her leaving)

Where are you going, ma ’am?

Back in a moment, dear.

(At the door SHE turns, blows him a kiss and then goes into the pieshop, slamming the door behind her and locking it, putting the key in her pocket. TOBIAS, too fascinated to realize HE has been locked in, starts happily turning the handle of the grinder)

t o B i a S

Smoothly does it, smoothly, smoothly

(As HE grinds and MRS. LOVETT appears at the foot of the stairs to the tonsorial parlor, unseen by her the BEADLE enters the back parlor) B e a d

Mrs Lovett! Mrs Lovett!

(Climbing the stairs, looking for TODD)

Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd!

# 2 4 P a r l o u r S o n g s ( P a r t I )

(Notices the harmonium, sits down, and sings from a song book, accompanying himself)

(Enters, clapping)

Oh, Beadle Bamford, I didn ‘t know you were a music lover, too.

(Not rising)

Good afternoon, Mrs Lovett! Fine instrument you ’ ve acquired

Oh yes, it’s my pride and joy

(Sings, as SHE watches him uneasily)

(He speaks, leafing through the pages)

Well, ma ’ am I hope you have a few moments, for I’m here today on official business.

That’s it, ma ’ am. You see, there’s been complaints

About the stink from your chimney. They say at night it’s something foul. Health regulations being my duty, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to let me take a look

(Hiding extreme anxiety)

At the bakehouse?

That’s right, ma ’ am.

(Improvising wildly)

But, it’s locked and ... and I don’t have the key. It’s Mr. Todd upstairs he’s got the key and he’s not here right now

B e a d L e

When will he be back?

Couldn’t say, I’m sure

(Finds a particular song)

Ah, one of mother ’ s favorites ...

B

D

D

(Joining in from the bakehouse)

(Stops playing)

What’s that?

Oh, just my boy the lad that helps me with the pies.

B e a d L e

But surely he’s in the bakehouse, isn’t he?

M r S . L o V e t t

(Almost beside herself)

Oh yes, yes, of course. But you see ... he’s — well, simple in the head. Last week he run off and we found him two days later down by the embankment half-starved, poor thing So ever since then, we locks him in for his own security

4

P a r l

Then we’ll have to wait for Mr Todd, won’t we?

Since you ’ re a fellow music lover, ma

am, why don’t you raise your voice along with mine?

All right

(Another

“inspiration”)

Oh yes, of course! Mr. Todd’s gone down to Wapping. Won’t be back for hours. And he’ll be ever so sorry to miss you. Why, just the other day he was saying, “If only the Beadle would grace my tonsorial parlor I’d give him a most stylish haircut, the daintiest shave all for nothing.” So why don’t you drop in some other time and take advantage of his offer?

B e a d L e

Well, that’s real friendly of him

(Immovable, HE starts to sing another verse)

Just how many bells are there?

Twelve

D I N G D O N G !

B e a d L e

D I N G D O N G !

M r S . L o V e t t

D I N G D O N G !

t o B i a S

B e a d L e

D I N G D O N G !

B e a d L e , M r S . L o V e t t & t o B i a S

T H E N L O V E R S M U S T P R AY !

D I N G , D O N G !

D I N G , D O N G !

F O U R B E L L S TO D AY.

(During this, TODD enters, reacts on seeing the BEADLE)

M r S . L o V e t t

(With a huge smile of relief)

Back already! Look who’s here, Mr. T., on some foolish complaint about the bakehouse or something He wants the key and I told him you had it But

(Coquettishly, to the BEADLE)

there’s no hurry, is there, sir? Why don’t you run upstairs with Mr Todd and let him fix you up nice and pretty there’ll be plenty of time for the bakehouse later.

B e a d L e

(Considering)

Well tell me, Mr Todd, do you pomade the hair? I dearly love a pomaded head

M r S . L o V e t t

Pomade? Of course! And a nice facial rub with bay rum too All for free!

(To TODD)

Well, sir, I take that very kindly.

(Bowing to the BEADLE)

I am, sir, entirely at your disposal

B e a d L e

t o d d

(The two men exit MRS LOVETT hesitates, then speaks)

Let’s hope he can do it quietly But just to be on the safe side, I’ll provide a little musical send-off.

4

I I I )

(SHE goes to the harmonium, sits down on the stool and starts playing and singing a loud verse of “Polly Plunkett” )

(In the bakehouse, TOBIAS stands by the grinding machine eating a pie. HE feels something on his tongue, puts a finger in his mouth and pulls the something out, holding it up for inspection)

t o B i a S

An ‘air! Black as a rook Now that ain’t Mrs Lovett’s ‘air Oh, well, some old black cow probably.

(HE continues to eat. HE bites on something else, takes it out of his mouth, looks at it) Coo, bit of fingernail! Clumsy. Ugh!

(HE drops the pie. Bored, HE starts around the room, inspecting. HE peers at an unidentifiable hole in the wall the chute. HE is baffled by it. As HE does so, we hear a strange, shambling, shuffling sound as if a heavy object is falling inside the wall. TOBIAS spins around just as the bloody body of the BEADLE comes trundling out of the mouth of the chute. TOBIAS screams)

No! Oh no!

(HE dashes to the door, tries the handle; it is locked. HE starts beating on it)

Mrs. Lovett! Mrs. Lovett! Let me out! Let me out!

(Wildly, HE tries to break down the door. It is too solid for him. Whimpering, HE stands paralyzed. Then HE sees the open trap door leading to the cellar steps. HE runs and disappears down them In the parlor, MRS LOVETT continues to sing and play After a suitable period, SHE stops)

(As SHE gets up from the harmonium, TODD hurries in)

It’s done M

Not yet it isn’t! The boy, he’s guessed

Guessed what? M

About Pirelli Since you weren’t here, I locked him in the bakehouse He’s been yelling to wake the dead. We've got to look after him.

(Fiercely)

But the Judge is coming I’ve arranged it M

You worrying about the bloody Judge at at time like this!

(Grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the door.)

Come on

(The scene blacks out. MEMBERS of the company appear and sing)

# 2 5 F o g g ’ s A s y l u m

(Variously)

(And as THEY sing the name, THEY transform themselves into the inmates of Fogg’s Asylum, which is now revealed: a huge stone wall and a heavy iron door Behind the wall, the ragged inmates are crawling, lolling, capering, giggling, shrieking. In the center of them sits JOHANNA, her long yellow hair tumbling about her)

(Intoning, chattering, screaming)

(These moans and humming noises continue under the following, Occasionally interrupted by little mad birdlike outbursts of song. MR. FOGG enters with ANTHONY in his wigmaker’s disguise. HE carries a huge pair of scissors. Behind them, is the asylum wall)

Just this way, sir.

You do me honor. Mr. Fogg.

I agree it would be to our mutual interest to come to some arrangement in regard to my poor children’s hair.

Your — children? F

We are one happy family here, sir, and all my patients are my children, to be corrected when they’re naughty, and rewarded with a sweetie when they’re good. But to our business

(As THEY enter the inside of the asylum, lights come up behind the scrim wall revealing the shadows of the inmates. MR. FOGG, as in a shadow play, grabs one female by the hair, pulling her head up for ANTHONY’s inspection)

Here is a charming yellow, a little dull in tone perhaps, but you can soon restore its natural gleam.

(HE drops the head, moves to a man and grabs his head up by the hair)

Now, here! A fine texture for a man and, as you must know, sir, there is always a discount on the hair of a male

(ANTHONY has been looking around and has spotted JOHANNA)

This one here has hair the shade I seek F o g g

Poor child She needs so much correction She sings all day and night and leaves the other inmates sleepless.

(HE goes to JOHANNA and tugs her, indignantly struggling, across the floor toward ANTHONY, by the hair)

Come, child. Smile for the gentleman and you shall have a sweetie.

(HE brandishes the scissors)

Now, where shall I cut? j

(Sees ANTHONY)

Anthony! a

Johanna!

What is this? What is this?

(Drawing his pistol)

Unhand her! F

Why you !

(Clutching the scissors, HE moves resolutely toward ANTHONY. ANTHONY backs away a few steps, but FOGG keeps coming)

a N t H o N Y

Stop, Mr Fogg, or I’ll fire F o g g

Fire, and I will stop a N t H o N Y

I cannot shoot

(Losing his nerve, ANTHONY drops the gun which JOHANNA catches in mid-air. FOGG moves toward ANTHONY, raising the scissors. JOHANNA, holding the gun with both hands, shoots FOGG, who falls. SHE drops the gun and together SHE and ANTHONY run out. Compelled by the energy released by FOGG’s death, the LUNATICS tear down the wall and rush out of the asylum, spilling with euphoric excitement onto the street)

# 2 6 C i t y O n F i r e

L u N a t i C S

(In three contrapuntal groups)

C I T Y O N F I R E !

R AT S I N T H E G R A S S

A N D T H E L U N AT I C S Y E L L I N G I N T H E S T R E E T S !

I T ’ S T H E E N D O F T H E W O R L D ! Y E S !

C I T Y O N F I R E !

H U N C H B A C K S D A N C I N G !

S T I R R I N G S I N T H E G R O U N D

A N D T H E W H I R R I N G O F G I A N T W I N G S !

WAT C H O U T !

L O O K !

B L O T T I N G O U T T H E M O O N L I G H T,

T H I C K B L A C K R A I N FA L L I N G O N T H E

C I T Y O N F I R E !

C I T Y O N F I R E !

C I T Y O N F I R E !

(During this, police whistles sound ANTHONY and JOHANNA are still visible hurrying away, ANTHONY systematically disposing of the wig-maker’s costume, tossing the hat off here, the cloak off there, etc. Throughout, JOHANNA is excited and chatty. At one point, ANTHONY stops briefly to reconnoiter nervously)

j o H a N N a

W I L L W E B E M A R R I E D O N S U N D AY ?

T H AT ' S W H AT Y O U P R O M I S E D ,

M A R R I E D O N S U N D AY !

(Pensively)

T H AT WA S L A S T A U G U S T . . .

(HE looks at her unbelievingly)

K I S S M E !

(HE drags her off as the LUNATICS reappear, this time in two groups)

L u N a t i C S

T H E R E ! L O O K !

C R AW L I N G O N T H E C H I M N E Y S ,

G R E AT B L A C K C R O W S S C R E E C H I N G AT T H E

C I T Y O N F I R E !

( L u N a t i C S )

C I T Y O N F I R E !

C I T Y O N F I R E !

(As THEY run off, lights come up on the bakehouse. TODD, holding a lantern, and MRS. LOVETT enter, looking around for TOBIAS)

# 2 7 S e a r c h i n g ( P a r t I )

M r S . L o V e t t

TO B Y !

W H E R E A R E Y O U , L O V E ?

TO B Y !

W H E R E A R E Y O U , L A D ?

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

N O T H I N G ’ S G O N N A H A R M Y O U

t o d d

TO B Y !

M r S . L o V e t t

N O T W H I L E I ’ M A R O U N D

(Opening trap door, peering down)

TO B Y !

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

W H E R E A R E Y O U H I D I N G ?

N O T H I N G ’ S G O N N A H A R M Y O U ,

D A R L I N G . . .

t o d d

N O T H I N G TO B E A F R A I D O F, B O Y

(Closes the trap door, peers into the darkness)

M r S . L o V e t t

N O T W H I L E I ’ M A R O U N D .

(Muttering)

D A M N !

TO B Y

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

(SHE and TODD move upstage, Where their voices echo)

D E M O N S A R E P R O W L I N G E V E RY W H E R E

N O WA D AY S . . .

t o d d

TO B Y

(THEY wander off as the LUNATICS run on)

L u N a t i C S

C I T Y O N F I R E !

R AT S I N T H E S T R E E T S

A N D T H E L U N AT I C S Y E L L I N G AT T H E M O O N !

I T ’ S T H E E N D O F T H E W O R L D ! Y E S !

(Lights go down on them and come up on, the BEGGAR WOMAN, peering off through the darkness as if at the pieshop)

B e g g a r W o M a N

B E A D L E ! B E A D L E !

t o d d

TO B Y

B e g g a r W o M a N

N O G O O D H I D I N G , I S AW Y O U !

A R E Y O U I N T H E R E S T I L L ?

B E A D L E ! . . . B E A D L E ! . . .

G E T H E R , B U T WAT C H I T !

S H E ’ S A W I C K E D O N E , S H E ’ L L D E C E I V E Y O U

W I T H H E R FA N C Y G O W N S

A N D H E R FA N C Y A I R S

A N D H E R

(Suddenly shrieking)

M I S C H I E F ! M I S C H I E F !

D E V I L’ S W O R K !

(Quietly calling again)

W H E R E A R E Y O U , B E A D L E ?

B E A D L E

(As SHE shuffles off toward the pieshop, lights dim on her and come up on the lunatics)

L u N a t i C S ( g r o u P 1 )

R AT S I N T H E S T R E E T S

A N D T H E L U N AT I C S Y E L L I N G AT T H E

M O O N !

I T ’ S T H E E N D O F T H E W O R L D ! G O O D !

C I T Y O N F I R E !

H U N C H B A C K S K I S S I N G !

S T I R R I N G S I N T H E G R AV E S

A N D T H E S C R E A M I N G O F G I A N T W I N D S !

WAT C H O U T ! L O O K !

C R AW L I N G O N T H E C H I M N E Y S ,

G R E AT B L A C K C R O W S S C R E E C H I N G AT T H E

L u N a t i C S

L u N a t i C S ( g r o u P 2 )

C I T Y O N F I R E !

R AT S I N T H E S T R E E T S

A N D T H E L U N AT I C S Y E L L I N G AT T H E M O O N !

I T ’ S T H E E N D O F T H E W O R L D ! G O O D !

C I T Y O N F I R E !

H U N C H B A C K S K I S S I N G !

S T I R R I N G S I N T H E G R AV E S

A N D T H E S C R E A M I N G O F G I A N T W I N D S !

WAT C H O U T ! L O O K !

C R AW L I N G O N T H E C H I M N E Y S

C I T Y O N F I R E !

(Light comes up on the tonsorial parlor. It is empty for a moment, then ANTHONY and JOHANNA, who is now dressed in a sailor’s uniform, enter; music under)

# 2 7 a S e a r c h i n g ( P a r t I I )

Mr Todd?

a N t H o N Y

j o H a N N a

No one here Where is this Mr Todd?

a N t H o N Y

No matter He’ll be back in a moment, for I trust him as I trust my right arm Wait for him here I’ll return with the coach in less than half an hour.

j o H a N N a

But they are after us still. What if they trace us here? Oh, Anthony, please let me come with you

a N t H o N Y

No, my darling, there is no safety for you on the street

j o H a N N a

But dressed in these sailors clothes, who’s to know it is I?

a N t H o N Y

No, the risk is too great

(As SHE turns away pouting, HE sings)

A

L

FAV

(SHE looks at him and smiles)

TO

(THEY kiss)

j o H a N N a

A N D T H E N H O M E

S O M E D AY

(Starting out)

a N t H o N Y

A N D T H E N C O M E B A C K TO

L O N D O N

S O M E D AY.

And I’ll be back before those lips have time to lose that smile

(HE rushes off Music continues under JOHANNA paces SHE sees the barber chair, starts to move toward it. During this, the BEGGAR WOMAN can be seen below approaching the pieshop. A factory whistle blows. JOHANNA gasps, startled, then goes to the chair. SHE sits in it. Her hand moves to inspect the lever, but before SHE touches it, the BEGGAR WOMAN approaches, calling.)

B e g g a r W o M a N

B E A D L E ! . . .

B E A D L E !

W H E R E A R E Y O U ?

B E A D L E , D E A R !

B E A D L E !

(Simultaneously, jumping up)

j o H a N N a

Someone calling the Beadle! I knew it!

(JOHANNA looks wildly around, sees the chest, runs to it and clambers in, closing the lid just as the BEGGAR WOMAN comes shuffling on Dimly surveying the room, SHE mimes opening a window. SHE then gently picks up an imaginary infant and rocks it in her arms)

B e g g a r W o M a N

(Suddenly becoming giddily crazy) B

(BEGGAR WOMAN whimpers., growls lasciviously, prowls around. Sees the chest, feels it, opens a window. Sees a baby, screams and wails. Clutches baby to her, pats and rocks it.)

A N D W H Y S H O U L D Y O U W E E P

H

N , M Y J O , M Y J I N G ?

O O H , Y O U R FAT H E R ’ S AT T E A

W I T H T H E S W E D I S H K I N G .

H E ’ L L B R I N G Y O U T H E M O O N

O N A S I LV E R S T R I N G O O H . . . O O H . . .

Q U I C K LY TO S L E E P T H E N ,

M Y J O , M Y J I N G

H E ’ L L B R I N G Y O U A S H O E

A N D A W E D D I N G R I N G

S I N G H E R E A G A I N , H O M E A G A I N ,

C O M E A G A I N S P R I N G

H E ’ L L B E C O M I N G S O O N N O W TO K I S S Y O U ,

M Y J O , M Y J I N G

B R I N G I N G Y O U T H E M O O N A N D A S H O E

A N D A W E D D I N G R I N G

H E ’ L L B E C O M I N G H E R E A G A I N , H O M E A G A I N

(Without warning, leaping in like a thunderbolt, TODD appears, the razor in his hand; music continues)

t o d d

You! What are you doing here?

(Clutching his arm)

Ah, evil is here, sir. The stink of evil from below her!

(Calling)

Beadle dear, Beadle!

(Looking anxiously out the window for the JUDGE)

Out of here, woman

(Still clutching his arm)

She’s the Devil’s wife! Oh, beware her, sir. Beware her. She with no pity ... in her heart

Out, I say!

(Peering dimly at him)

(On the street, the JUDGE approaches the tonsorial parlor)

(Seeing him)

The Judge. I have no time.

(HE turns on the BEGGAR WOMAN, slits her throat, puts her in the chair and releases her down the chute! The JUDGE enters the room. Music continues under)

Below, your Honor. In the care of my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett. Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her Thank heavens too, she has seen the error of her ways j u d g e

She has?

Oh yes, your lesson was well learned, sir She speaks only of you, longing for forgiveness.

j u d g e

And she shall have it. She’ll be here soon, you say?

t o d d

I

Oh, excellent, my friend!

I

(Listening)

I hear nothing.

t

(Points) T H E R E !

(The JUDGE looks, getting excited)

(Blissful)

j u d g e

(Straightening his coat, patting his hair)

Quickly, sir, a splash of bay rum!

(Indicating the chair)

Sit, sir, sit

t o d d

j u d g e

(Sitting in the chair, in lecherous rapture)

J O H A N N A , J O H A N N A

(TODD gets a towel, puts it carefully around him, moves to pickup a bottle of bay rum)

t o d d

P R E T T Y W O M E N . . .

j u d g e

H U R RY, M A N !

P R E T T Y W O M E N

A R E A W O N D E R

t o d d

Y E S , S I R ,

(Joyfully)

j u d g e

t o d d

P R E T T Y W O M E N !

j u d g e

W H AT W E D O F O R

P R E T T Y W O M E N !

t o d d

!

(During the following, TODD smooths bay rum on the JUDGE’s face, reaching behind him for a razor)

j u d g e

B L O W I N G O U T T H E I R C A N D L E S

O R C O M B I N G O U T T H E I R H A I R - -

T H E N T H E Y L E AV E

E V E N W H E N T H E Y L E AV E Y O U

A N D VA N I S H , T H E Y S O M E H O W !

C A N S T I L L R E M A I N

T H E R E W I T H Y O U , T H E R E

(Music continues under)

j u d g e

How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit!

t o d d

t o d d

B L O W I N G O U T T H E I R C A N D L E S

O R C O M B I N G O U T T H E I R H A I R ,

E V E N W H E N T H E Y L E AV E ,

T H E Y S T I L L ,

A R E T H E R E ,

T H E Y ’ R E T H E R E

(Smiling down)

With fellow tastes in women, at least.

What? What’s that?

j u d g e

t o d d

The years no doubt have changed me, sir. But then, I suppose, the face of a barber the face of a prisoner in the dock is not particularly memorable

j u d g e

(With horrified realization)

Benjamin Barker!

(Exalted)

Benjamin Barker!

t o d d

(The factory whistle blows; the JUDGE in terror tries to jump up but TODD slashes his throat, then pulls the lever and sends the body tumbling out of sight and down the chute. Music continues. For a long moment, TODD stands crouched forward by the chair, exhaling deeply. Then slowly HE drops to his knees and even more slowly holds up the razor, gazing at it. HE sings) R

(Suddenly remembering)

Tobias!

(HE starts down the stairs. HE stops midway, remembering his razor)

My razor!

(HE starts back up the steps just as JOHANNA has climbed out or the chest. SHE stands frozen)

You! What are you doing here? Speak!

j o H a N N a

Oh, dear Er excuse me, sir I saw the barber ’ s sign

So thinking to ask for a shave, I

When? When did you come in?

t o d d

j o H a N N a

Oh sir, I beg of you. Whatever I have seen, no man shall ever know. I swear it. Oh, sir, please, sir ... t

A shave, eh?

(HE turns chair toward her)

At your service.

But, sir ...

j o H a N N a

t o d d

Whatever you may have seen, your cheeks are still as much in need of the razor as before. Sit, sir. Sit.

(TODD sits JOHANNA in the chair. As HE goes for the razor, simultaneously the factory whistle blows and MRS. LOVETT is heard screaming “Die! Die!” from the bakehouse below JOHANNA jumps up and runs out TODD lunges after her, misses her. SHE runs away. TODD pauses; another scream from the bakehouse sends him running down the stairs, and as HE disappears into the pieshop, the COMPANY appears)

(Light comes up on the bakehouse. MRS. LOVETT is standing in horror by the mouth of the chute from which the JUDGE, still alive, clutches her skirt. MRS. LOVETT tries to tug the skirt away from the vise-like grip)

M r S . L o V e t t

Die! Die! God in heaven die!

(The JUDGE’s fingers relax their grip; HE is dead. Panting, MRS. LOVETT backs away from him and for the first time notices the body of the BEGGAR WOMAN. SHE pauses)

You! Can it be? How all the demons of Hell come to torment me!

(Looks hastily over her shoulder)

Quick! To the oven.

(SHE starts to drag the BEGGAR WOMAN to the oven as TODD enters, runs to her)

t o d d

Why did you scream? Does the Judge still live?

M r S . L o V e t t

He was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but now he’s finished.

(Continues dragging BEGGAR WOMAN to oven)

t o d d

Leave them to me. Open the doors.

(HE starts to shove her toward the oven)

M r S . L o V e t t

(Clutching the BEGGAR WOMAN’s wrists) No!

t o d d

Open the doors, I say!

(HE goes to the JUDGE, razor in hand, to be sure he’s dead; MRS. LOVETT, seeing his attention distracted, runs to the oven. TODD sees the JUDGE is dead and starts back to the BEGGAR WOMAN just as MRS. LOVETT opens the oven doors and the light hits the BEGGAR WOMAN)

M r S . L o V e t t

(Rushing to him)

No! Don’t touch her!!

(Leaning down to pick up the BEGGAR WOMAN)

What is the matter with you? It’s only some meddling old beggar

(A chord of music as HE realizes who SHE is)

Oh no, oh God ... “Don’t I know you?” she said ...

(Looks up)

You knew she lived. From the first moment that I walked into your shop you knew my Lucy lived!

I was only thinking of you!

(Looking down again)

Your Lucy! A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley ashcans! Would you have wanted to know that was all that was left of her?

(Slowly looking up)

You lied to me.

(To

the BEGGAR WOMAN)

L U C Y

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

S H O U L D ’ V E B E E N I N H O S P I TA L ,

W O U N D U P I N B E D L A M I N S T E A D ,

P O O R T H I N G !

O H , M Y G O D

t o d d

M r S . L o V e t t

B E T T E R Y O U S H O U L D T H I N K S H E WA S D E A D

Y E S , I L I E D ‘ C O S I L O V E D Y O U !

t o d d

L U C Y M r S . L o V e t t

I ’ D B E T W I C E T H E W I F E S H E WA S !

I L O V E Y O U !

t o d d

W H AT H AV E I D O N E ? M r S . L o V e t t

C O U L D T H AT T H I N G H AV E C A R E D F O R Y O U

L I K E M E ?

(TODD rises, soft and smiling; MRS LOVETT takes a step back in panic Waltz music starts)

t o d d

M R S . L O V E T T,

Y O U ’ R E A B L O O D Y W O N D E R ,

E M I N E N T LY P R A C T I C A L A N D Y E T

A P P R O P R I AT E A S A LWAY S .

A S Y O U ’ V E S A I D R E P E AT E D LY,

T H E R E ’ S L I T T L E P O I N T I N D W E L L I N G O N T H E PA S T.

M r S . L o V e t t

D O Y O U M E A N I T ?

E V E RY T H I N G I D I D I S W E A R I T H O U G H T

WA S O N LY F O R T H E B E S T,

B E L I E V E M E !

C A N W E S T I L L B E

M A R R I E D ?

t o d d

N O , C O M E H E R E , M Y L O V E

N O T A T H I N G TO F E A R ,

M Y L O V E

W H AT ’ S D E A D

I S D E A D .

(TODD puts his arms around her waist; SHE starts to relax in her babbling, and THEY sway to the waltz, her arms around his neck)

t o d d

T

H I

O H , M R TO D D ,

O O H , M R TO D D ,

L E AV E I T TO M E . . . t o d d

B Y T H E S E A , M R TO D D ,

W E ’ L L B E C O M F Y- C O Z Y.

Y O U A N D M E , M R TO D D , W H E R E

(HE waltzes her closer to the oven)

J U S T K E E P L I V I N G I T, R E A L LY L I V I N G I T !

(HE flings her into the oven SHE screams HE slams the doors behind her Black smoke belches forth. The music booms like an earthquake. TODD, gasping, sinks to his knees by the oven doors Then HE rises, moves back to the BEGGAR WOMAN and kneels, cradling her head in his arms)

(Shrugs) N

(TOBIAS emerges from the cellar, singing in an eerie voice. His hair has turned completely white)

(Sees TODD)

Mr. Todd.

(Notices the BEGGAR WOMAN)

It’s the old woman. Ya harmed her too, have ya? Ya shouldn’t, ya know. Ya shouldn’t harm nobody

(HE bends to examine the body; TODD, suddenly aware of someone, pushes him violently aside. As TOBIAS staggers back and recovers his balance, HE notices the razor on the floor, picks it up, plays with it)

Razor! Razor! Cut, cut, cut cadougan, watch me grind my corn Pat him and prick him and mark him with B, and put him in the oven for baby and me!

(Cuts TODD’s throat. TODD dies across the body of LUCY as the factory whistle blows. ANTHONY, JOHANNA and OFFICERS OF THE GUARD come running on.

Seeing the carnage, THEY all stop)

You will pardon me, gentlemen, but you may not enter here. Oh no! Me mistress don‘t let no one enter here, for, you see, sirs, there’s work to be done, so much work.

(While THEY watch in horror, HE moves to the grinding machine and slowly starts to turn the handle)

Three times That’s the secret Three times through for them to be tender and juicy

Three times through the grinder. Smoothly, smoothly ...

(JOHANNA gives a little cry. ANTHONY throws his arm around her. As the group stands watching, still in silence, TOBIAS continues to grind. Suddenly, the trap door slams shut; the light brightens abruptly, TOBIAS steps back, looks up and sings) e

, j o H a N N a & a N t H o N Y

D I D S W E E N E Y TO D D , a d d t o B i a S

T H E D E M O N B A R B E R O F F L E E T S T R E E T. B e g g a r W o M a N

(Rising)

H E K E P T A S H O P I N L O N D O N TO W N , O F FA N C Y C L I E N T S A N D G O O D R E N O W N j u d g e

(Rising) A N D W H AT I F N O N E O F T H E I R S O U L S W E R E S AV E D ?

T H E Y W E N T TO T H E I R M A K E R I M P E C C A B LY S H AV E D

B e g g a r W o M a N , j u d g e & P o L i C e M e N

B Y S W E E N E Y,

B Y S W E E N E Y TO D D ,

(Entering)

a L L ( t h u s f a r )

T H E D E M O N B A R B E R O F F L E E T S T R E E T

P i r e L L i & B e a d L e

S W I N G Y O U R R A Z O R W I D E , S W E E N E Y !

H O L D I T TO T H E S K I E S !

F R E E LY F L O W S T H E B L O O D O F T H O S E

W H O M O R A L I Z E !

(The rest of the COMPANY enters) a L L

H I S N E E D S A R E F E W, H I S R O O M I S B A R E :

H E H A R D LY U S E S H I S FA N C Y C H A I R .

T H E M O R E H E B L E E D S , T H E M O R E H E L I V E S

H E N E V E R F O R G E T S A N D H E N E V E R F O R G I V E S

P E R H A P S TO D AY Y O U G AV E A N O D

TO S W E E N E Y TO D D ,

T H E D E M O N B A R B E R O F F L E E T S T R E E T

S W E E N E Y W I S H E S T H E W O R L D AWAY,

S W E E N E Y ’ S W E E P I N G F O R Y E S T E R D AY,

H U G G I N G T H E B L A D E , WA I T I N G T H E Y E A R S ,

H E A R I N G T H E M U S I C T H AT N O B O D Y H E A R S

S W E E N E Y WA I T S I N T H E PA R L O R H A L L ,

S W E E N E Y L E A N S O N T H E O F F I C E WA L L . M e N

N O O N E C A N H E L P, N O T H I N G C A N H I D E Y O U

I S N ’ T T H AT S W E E N E Y T H E R E B E S I D E Y O U ?

S W E E N E Y W I S H E S T H E W O R L D AWAY

S W E E N E Y ’ S W E E P I N G F O R Y E S T E R D AY, a L L

N O O N E C A N H E L P, N O T H I N G C A N H I D E Y O U

I S N ’ T T H AT S W E E N E Y T H E R E B E S I D E Y O U ?

S W E E N E Y W I S H E S T H E W O R L D AWAY

S W E E N E Y ’ S W E E P I N G F O R Y E S T E R D AY,

I S S W E E N E Y !

T H E R E H E I S , I T ’ S S W E E N E Y !

S W E E N E Y ! S W E E N E Y !

(Pointing around the theater)

(Pointing to the grave)

!

(TODD and MRS. LOVETT rise from the grave)

start to

(The COMPANY exits. TODD and MRS. LOVETT are the last to leave. THEY look to each other, then exit in opposite directions, MRS. LOVETT into the wings, TODD upstage. HE glares at us malevolently for a moment, then slams the iron door in our faces Blackout)