Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

welcome to the theater

C ONGRATULATIONS!

You’ll be working with your creative team and fellow cast members to put on a musical Before you begin rehearsals, there are some important things you should know. This book is your script. Whether putting on a school production or rehearsing a professional show, every actor, director, and stage manager works from a script. Your script contains some additional information like this introduction and a glossary. You can look up any bold words in the glossary at the back of this book. Be sure to take good care of your script, and use a pencil when taking notes in it, since what you’ll be doing onstage can change during rehearsals.

One of the first things you’ll need to learn is what to call the various areas of the stage. Since most stages used to be raked, or tilted down toward the house, where the audience sits, we still use the term downstage to refer to the area closest to the audience and upstage to refer to the area farthest from the audience. Stage left and stage right are from the actor’s perspective when facing the audience. The diagram above shows how to use these terms to label nine different parts of the stage.

Junie B.’s

what to expect during rehearsals

You will be performing a musical, a type of play that tells a story through songs, dances, and dialogue . Because there are so many parts of a musical, most shows have more than one author. The composer writes the music and usually works with a lyricist, who writes the lyrics, or words, to the songs. The book writer writes the dialogue (spoken words, or lines ) and the stage directions , which tell the actors what to do onstage and what music cues to listen for.

Your director will plan rehearsals so that the cast is ready to give its best performance on opening night! Remember to warm up before each rehearsal so that your mind, body, and voice are ready to go. Every rehearsal process is a little bit different, but here is an idea of what you can expect as you begin to work on your show.

music:

Since you’re performing a musical, it is important to learn the music early on in the rehearsal process. Your music director will teach the cast all the songs in the show and tell you what to practice at home.

choreography:

After you’ve got the music down, you’ll begin working on the choreography – or dance – in the show. Your choreographer will create the dances and teach them to the cast. The music and the choreography help tell the story.

blocking & scene work:

Your director will block the show by telling the cast where to stand and how to move around the stage. You’ll use your theater terms (downstage left, upstage right, etc.) a lot during this portion of the rehearsal process. You will also practice speaking your lines and work on memorizing them. Rehearsing your part from memory is called being off-book. Your director will help you understand the important action in each scene so you can make the best choices for your character’s objective, or what your character wants.

make the script your own

Always write your name legibly, either in the space provided on the cover of your script or on the title page. Scripts have a way of getting lost or changing hands during rehearsals!

Mark your lines and lyrics with a bright-colored highlighter to make your part stand out on the page. This will allow you to look up from your script during rehearsals, since it will be easier to find your place when you look back down.

Underline important stage directions, lines, lyrics, and individual words. For example, if your line reads, “There’s music, and rockets, and everything!!!!”and your director wants you to stress the word “everything,” underline it in your script.

Save time and space by using the following standard abbreviations:

ON: onstage OFF: offstage

US: upstage DS: downstage

SL: stage left SR: stage right

CS: center stage X: cross

You may use these abbreviations to modify other instructions (e.g., you could write “R hand up” to remind yourself to raise your right hand). You may also combine them in various ways (e.g., you could write “XDSR” to remind yourself to cross downstage right).

Draw diagrams to help clarify your blocking. For example, if you are instructed to walk in a circle around a table, you might draw a box to represent the table, then draw a circle around it with an arrow indicating the direction in which you are supposed to walk.

Draw stick figures to help you remember your choreography. Remember, the simpler the better.

Mark your music with large commas to remind yourself where to take breaths while singing.

Although you should feel free to mark up your script, be careful it doesn’t become so cluttered with notes that you have a hard time finding your lines on the page! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

1

Actor’s Script

Name: ____________________________

4

JIMMY FABIENNE SHELDON

Character: ________________________ XDSR ,

6

2

JUNIE B.

You think everything is fun, Herbert. That is why I will probably marry you someday. But I don’t know...

SHELDON

There’s music, and rockets, and everything!!!!

Close your eyes, everyone, and just picture it. Can you see it?

MAY

3

Sheldon, we’re writing a book, not throwing a parade!

Well, we can fix that, can’t we!!!

SHELDON

(SHELDON happily clangs his cymbals.)

LUCILLE

Uh-oh. I feel Sheldon’s love of marching kicking in. You know what that means – everybody out of the way! (#8 – BACKPACKS ON PARADE begins.)

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

Backpacks On Parade

BACKPACKS ON PARADE

(The KIDS shrink back as SHELDON takes out his always-handy cymbals and clangs them loudly.)

Alla Marcia

5

7

Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide to School JR .

JUNIE B.

You think everything is fun, Herbert. That probably marry you someday. But I don’t

SHELDON

Close your eyes, everyone, and just picture There’s music, and rockets, and everything!!!!

8

DICTION

Sheldon, we’re writing a book, not throwing

Well, we can fix that, can’t we!!!

SHELDON

(SHELDON happily clangs his cymbals.)

LUCILLE Uh-oh. I feel Sheldon’s love what

some tips for the theater

Don’t upstage yourself. Cheat out so the audience can always see your face and hear your voice.

Always arrive at rehearsal on time and ready to begin.

Keep going! If you forget a line or something unexpected happens, keep the scene moving forward. Chances are, the audience won’t even notice.

Remember to thank the director and fellow cast and crew members.

If you are having trouble memorizing your lines, try writing them down or speaking them aloud�

It takes an ensemble to make a show; everyone’s part is important.

Bring your script and a pencil to rehearsal.every

Before the show, say, “Break a leg”– which means “good luck” in the theater.

Be respectful of others at all times.

Be specific! Make clear choices about your character’s background and motivation in the show.

Always be quiet backstage. And keep in mind, if you can see the audience, they can see you, so stay out of sight.

HAVE FUN!

Junie B.’s Essential

Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide to School JR. synopsis

Junie B.’s Essential Guide to School JR. begins with a brilliant idea by JUNIE B� JONES: with one-and-a-half years of school under her belt, she’s going to create a guide for surviving school! Her classmates are enthusiastic about the idea (Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide To School). At class that day, Junie B.’s classmates try to get her to discuss her ideas for the book, but Junie B. secretly doesn’t have any ideas (Like What?) During this exchange, Junie B. gets a little too excited and calls students bad names in class. Her teacher, MR� SCARY, sends her home with a note (Shoo Bee Doo Bee). Junie B. gives the note to her MOTHER

The next day at school, Junie B.’s classmate SHELDON approaches her with an idea for the book: backpacks (Backpacks On Parade). Many of the students support the idea, complimenting Sheldon, but Junie B. is jealous and worried that he is getting credit for her idea (A Great Idea – Parts 1 and 2) Junie B. throws a tantrum and is sent home with another note. When she is discussing her tantrum with her mother that evening, she explains that her anger comes from a bull that lives inside her stomach (El Toro Fabuloso)

During lunch the next day, the school’s fashionista, LUCILLE, interviews Junie B. about school clothes (Some Stuff About Clothes). Junie B. tells her that her favorite clothes include giant pockets, telling a story about a potato she once found that fit perfectly in her pocket (Potato On The Sidewalk!). However, during Junie B.’s interview, her classmate MAY steals the attention. Junie B. responds by intentionally spilling spaghetti on May (El Toro Fabuloso – Reprise). At home that evening, Junie B.’s family encourages her to make up with May.

The next day, the students perform a play at school all about school supplies (School Supplies – Parts 1 and 2). The play, written and organized by May, gets derailed when Junie B. angrily goes off

script and charges at May (El Toro Shoo Bees). With her mother’s encouragement, Junie B. writes an apology letter to May that night. In the morning, Junie B. chases after the bus with all of her classmates onboard (Gotta Get There) After Junie B. boards the bus, HERB wants to discuss his chapter of the book with her: the rules of the school bus (Bus Rules). However, Junie B. takes over, insisting that one of the best things to do on the bus is to make funny faces. She does this out the window, prompting a horrified passing driver to take a picture with her cell phone.

After the driver emails the rude pictures of Junie B. to the PRINCIPAL, Junie B. is forced to face the consequences of her actions (Principal’s Office). The principal, along with a few of Junie B.’s school role models, urge Junie B. to respect the school’s rules. While the adults are discussing this with Junie B., they form a plan. The principal tells Junie B. to spread the word that there are no rules for her classroom the rest of the day. Junie B. happily tells her classmates, but the students soon realize that without rules, many of the good parts of the day are ruined. They all agree that rules are important and should be followed (Rules – Parts 1, 2, and 3).

In the schoolyard later that day, students are enthusiastically toting around their report cards (Report Card Day). Junie B., however, resorts to burying her report card in a neighbor’s yard. Her mother quickly stops her and shows Junie B. her own report from many years ago. As it turns out, her mother wasn’t a perfect student either (Mother Was A Bad Kid Too). This comforts Junie B., who returns her attention to her survival guide. Just as she wonders who will help her with this daunting task, May appears at her door. The two girls make up. (The Things You Learn Along The Way). The students complete their survival guide (Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide Bows)

Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide to School JR .

Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide to School JR. characters

(in order of appearance)

Junie B� Jones

Herb

May Murkee

Lucille

Sheldon Potts

Students

Mr� Scary

Student

A Student

Student 1 (“Like What?”)

Student 2 (“Like What?”)

Student 3 (“Like What?”)

Mother

Another Student

El Toro Fabuloso

Matadors

Matador 1

Matador 2

Solo 1 (“Some Stuff About Clothes”)

Solo 2 (“Some Stuff About Clothes”)

Solo 3 (“Some Stuff About Clothes”)

Cameraman

Daddy

Grampa Miller

Eraser

Glue

Ruler

Pencil

Paper Clip

Chalk

Easel

Student Sitting in the Middle

Principal

Gus Vallony

Mrs� Weller

Mrs� Gutzman

Mother’s Teachers

JUNIE B:

(JUNIE B. JONES is seen clutching a notebook, surrounded by her FRIENDS.) j

Have -& & # # 9

(JUNIE B:)

I got news for you!

# 11 œ œ œ œ œ learned so much in Þrst

Whoah ho whoah! ALL:

(JUNIE B:) j

n

j œ j œ . œ grade this year that & & # # 13

(JUNIE B:)

guess what I'm gon na do?

write down all the things (JUNIE B:)

I learned and the & # 17

JUNIE B: Doesn't it, Herbert? And guess what? I have already written an introduction! (The KIDS move in closer.)

B:)

JUNIE B: I have been going to the Clarence somebody or other Elementary School for over ONE AND A HALF YEARS!!!

Her name is Ju nie

JUNIE B: So I can tell you how to SURVIVE at school. Survive is the grown-up word for make it out alive.

3

That's al most two whole years!

JUNIE B: I know what you're thinking. I am a GEM for doing this. Well all I can say is... you're welcome!!!

She's

Ju nie B.'s es sen tial sur

Ju nie B.'s es sen tial sur vi

Ju nie B.'s es sen tial sur

(#2 – JUNIE B.’S ESSENTIAL SURVIVAL GUIDE TO SCHOOL (PLAYOFF) begins.)

(The school bell rings. JUNIE B. begins to write in a small notebook.)

JUNIE B.

Dear First-Grade Journal. Today I am so full of thoughts and feelings. First of all, I feel a bit jumpish and squirmish. That is fairly normal. Plus also, I smell adventure in the air. I think it’s adventure. Or it might be rubber cement. I will have to investigate further.

(#3 – SCHOOL BELL #1 begins. The school bell rings again. MAY enters.)

MAY

Junie Jones, as hall monitor it is my joy and pleasure to inform you that the second bell has rung.

JUNIE B.

There is a B in there, thank you very much. And besides, May, don’t you have anything better to do?

MAY

Let me think for a second. (thinking) No. Besides, aren’t you excited about going to class, Junie Jones?

JUNIE B.

I am medium.

MAY

How can you be medium when today’s assignment is animals at the zoo? You will be happy to know my mother and I have been doing lots of extra research on the internet. I bet there are lots of animals you have never even heard of!!!

JUNIE B.

Like gooney bird?

MAY

(shaking her head, laughing condescendingly) Oh, ha ha ha, Junie Jones, there’s no such thing as a gooney bird.

JUNIE B.

(looking after her, smiling sweetly) I beg to differ.

(#4 – POST OPENING begins.)

Post Opening POST OPENING

Shoop shoop shoo bee doo wah!

SCENE 2: SCHOOL

(JUNIE B. follows MAY into Room One. LUCILLE, SHELDON, and the other STUDENTS are at their desks as MR. SCARY is writing on a chalkboard.)

MAY

Mr. Scary! Mr. Scary! I have safely delivered Junie Jones to class.

JUNIE B.

B! B! You are always forgetting my B, and that is a crime, I tell you!!!

(taking her seat)

I mean... good morning, sir, and thank you for having me.

MR. SCARY

My pleasure, Junie B. And by the way, Lucille and Sheldon were just telling me about your wonderful idea to make a big book for next year’s first-grade class.

JUNIE B.

(taking a bow)

You are very welcome.

I can’t wait to help!

Me too!

SHELDON

LUCILLE

JUNIE B.

Everyone can help. Provided, of course, that I am the star of the whole production.

MR. SCARY

We can talk more about this after we finish today’s assignment which is—

LUCILLE

favorite zoo animals!!!

That’s right, Lucille.

MR. SCARY

LUCILLE

Look, everyone! My Richie Nana gave me some real feathers to glue on my drawing. And some sparkles too...

STUDENT

What kind of animal has sparkles?

LUCILLE

An expensive one!!! But never mind that! I want to hear more about Junie B.’s wonderful book, don’t you? What’s going to be in it?

JUNIE B.

Well, I am thinking there will be stickers.

SHELDON

Wow! What else?

I am seeing lots of paper.

JUNIE B.

MAY

But what’s going to go on the paper?

JUNIE B. (visualizing) Words.

LUCILLE

Oh, I get it! Junie B. is keeping all her ideas top secret because she wants to surprise us!

SHELDON

I love surprises!! Except for hives. (MAY shoots her hand high in the air.)

MR. SCARY

Now if you’ll all... yes, May??

MAY

I just wanted to say, if you made me write down all the animals at the zoo right now, I bet I would get an A+.

MR. SCARY

Very good— (MAY shoots her hand high in the air again.)

MAY

And... you might even give me an extra gold star for knowing the difference between alligator and crocodile!

JUNIE B.

No one wants to hear about your stinkyhead “extra research on the internet,” May! Honestly, you are positively insufferable.

A STUDENT

What does that mean?

I do not know at this time.

JUNIE B.

MAY

You know what I think, Junie Jones? I think you’re just cranky because you made a big deal about this helpful guide but when push comes to shove, you don’t have any ideas to put in it!

JUNIE B.

I would tell you all my ideas, if you would just shut your yap for a second, missy!

MR. SCARY

(displeased)

Junie B.!!!

I mean...

(changing her tone)

JUNIE B.

I will tell you all my ideas as soon as I finish working out the color scheme for this... moose.

(#5 – LIKE WHAT? begins.)

MAY: (dismissively) Hmmph. (MAY begins to busily draw with the others. JUNIE B. crosses her hands to her chest, thinks a moment, then leans over to MAY.)

JUNIE B: (matter-of-factly)

MAY, A FEW STUDENTS:

(SHELDON hands JUNIE B. a piece of paper.)

SHELDON: What do you think, Junie B.?

JUNIE B: Nice dinosaur, Sheldon!

SHELDON: (crestfallen) It's an owl.

(SHELDON goes back to the drawing board as JUNIE B. returns to the discussion at hand.)

JUNIE B: Ummmm, well... that's... -

œ or gan ize our home work ev 'ry œ Œ Ó week?

LUCILLE: (chiming in)

How a bout a chap ter on the

prop er way to tell us all the - - -

ways to make an out Þ

(The OTHER STUDENTS jump on board with some ideas of their own.)

STUDENT 1:

chic. Uh huh... JUNIE B: - -

STUDENT 2:

Where your used up Kleen ex goes

What to do in case it snows

JUNIE B: (shouting in spite of herself)

STUDENT 3: SHELDON:

How to clean the gold Þsh bowls

Prop er use of cub by holes

(JUNIE B:)

have so man y great i de as

run ning all a round and 'round my

(Everyone looks at JUNIE B. as the bell rings.)

(JUNIE B:) (matter of factly)

guess we'll have to pick this up to

row.

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

SHOO BEE DOO BEE

Shoo Bee Doo Bee

(The KIDS Þle out. JUNIE B. sheepishly approaches Mr. Scary's desk.)

MR. SCARY: Junie B., I'm afraid I'm going to need you to take a note home today.

JUNIE B: Was it yap and missy that sent me over the edge?

MR. SCARY: What do you think?

JUNIE B: It was the stinkyhead, huh? (MR. SCARY hands her the note.) I knew it. (She takes the note and walks off as the action moves to the Jones kitchen.)

SCENE 3: THE JONES KITCHEN

(MOTHER reads Junie B.’s “note home” as JUNIE B. writes in her journal.)

MOTHER

How about you tell me what happened.

JUNIE B.

Well, remember that idea I had to write that book about everything everyone would ever have to know about anything?

MOTHER

Uh-huh...

JUNIE B.

And well, it seems that made me a little too grumpish and frownish for Mr. Scary’s liking.

MOTHER

I think maybe you should just start writing, and see what happens. I bet your friends will be glad to help you come up with lots of ideas.

JUNIE B.

But then how am I supposed to be the star of the whole production?

MOTHER

I’m not sure that’s the point, Junie B.

JUNIE B.

Oh, I am very sure.

MOTHER

Even so – you don’t have to know everything right off the bat.

JUNIE B.

We don’t have a bat. Our pet’s name is Tickle and he is not a bat. He is a dog.

MOTHER

It’s an expression, sweetie.

JUNIE B.

You know, Mother, you’re right. I shouldn’t worry so much. I bet everyone is searching desperately for inspiration!!!

(#7 – I’VE GOT A GREAT IDEA TRANSITION begins.)

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

I've Got A Great Idea Transition

I’VE GOT A GREAT IDEA TRANSITION

(The STUDENTS enter with excitement, sharing their ideas. SHELDON jumps happily around the schoolyard as JUNIE B. enters.)

(SHELDON)

(waving his hands in the air) Woooo-hoooooooo!!!!!!

JUNIE B.

What’s with you?

(enthusiastically)

SHELDON

Gee, Junie B.! If one more idea comes out of my head I am going to positively burst! I am so excited! This is going to be big, big, big.

JUNIE B.

Oh, I know, Sheldon, I know!!! (a beat)

Remind me what we’re talking about again?

SHELDON

What do you think we’re talking about? (gazing lovingly toward the sky)

The most wonderful, marvelous, amazing things in the whole entire world!

LUCILLE

Taffeta?

No...

SHELDON

Telescope?

No...

(intensely)

A STUDENT

SHELDON

A STUDENT

Big fat plastic bubbles you can pop and pop and pop and pop.

SHELDON

Uh, no.

I know, Sheldon—

(cutting them off) Backpacks!!!!

A STUDENT

SHELDON

JUNIE B. Backpacks?

SHELDON

Just the word is music to my ears.

JUNIE B.

Personally, Sheldon, I would rather pull my stuff to school with a packwagon, but stores do not sell packwagons. And that is all.

SHELDON

But there are a jillion kinds of backpacks to write about.

HERB

I think it’s a fun idea.

JUNIE B.

You think everything is fun, Herbert. That is why I will probably marry you someday. But I don’t know...

SHELDON

Close your eyes, everyone, and just picture it. Can you see it? There’s music, and rockets, and everything!!!!

MAY

Sheldon, we’re writing a book, not throwing a parade!

SHELDON

Well, we can fix that, can’t we!!!

(SHELDON happily clangs his cymbals.)

LUCILLE

Uh-oh. I feel Sheldon’s love of marching kicking

(#8 –

You

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

BACKPACKS ON PARADE

Backpacks On Parade

(The KIDS shrink back as SHELDON takes out his always-handy cymbals and clangs them loudly.)

SHELDON: Well, Sheldon Potts's Backpacks on Ice could work, but probably requires more rehearsal. ALL: Hoo boy.

cel e brate the

Þll it up with

Ewww! If it's ALL:

pine cones or some ANOTHER STUDENT: Accel.

Band Aids for your - -

blue or striped or

(SHELDON clutches his hand to his heart, becoming very serious. The other STUDENTS join him.)

(The point of view switches to what JUNIE B. is thinking.) Rall.

(Frustrated and screaming, JUNIE B. runs around in circles, eventually running off, holding her hands over her ears as if she were a bull.)

JUNIE B. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!! (#10 – A GREAT

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

Shoo bee doo bee wah! (The other KIDS pat SHELDON on the back, and they exit.)

SCENE 5: THE JONES KITCHEN

(MOTHER is reading a note. MOTHER sighs.)

MOTHER

Would you like to explain yourself?

JUNIE B.

Well, Mrs. Susan Jones, it seems I have gotten in trouble again.

MOTHER

You should be glad everyone is working so hard on the book. Look how much you’ve inspired your classmates! That’s a good thing...

JUNIE B.

But who knew Sheldon was going to cook up a whole multimedia presentation and everything? It just made me feel funny, that is all.

MOTHER

That is not all, Junie B. You can’t just scream and run in circles when you feel frustrated.

JUNIE B. (incredulous) I know! That is the craziest thing!!!! (off MOTHER’s expression) That’s not what you meant, is it?

MOTHER

Not exactly.

JUNIE B.

But my ideas are taking longer to cook than everyone else’s. And that makes the bull inside my stomach very angry.

MOTHER

The what?

JUNIE B.

The bull who lives inside my stomach. I have named her El Toro Fabuloso.

MOTHER

El Toro Fabuloso?

JUNIE B.

She appears to be Spanish, so that is what I went with.

MOTHER I see.

JUNIE B. You wouldn’t believe

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

El Toro Fabuloso

EL TORO FABULOSO

(JUNIE B:) But if you insist and feel you can handle it, I will now tell the tale.

MOTHER: Oh, I insist.

Agitato

JUNIE B:

The one who gets you all these w notes!

head, And once a gain, she's com ing

Yes, you can feel her com ing, -

You try to stop her but you

can't, no, no in deed!

(ALL MATADORS:)

MATADOR

b b b b b b b

b b b b b b b

(EL TORO:)

ú ú ú ú lo so! (MATADORS, MOTHER:) A tempo

The an swer's no!

EL TORO:

MOTHER:

She likes to come out when there's

MOTHER

It’s time for bed, honey. But we’re going to talk more about this in the morning, ok?

JUNIE B.

Yes, ma’am.

And you know what?

MOTHER

JUNIE B. What?

MOTHER

I bet your idea will pop right into your head after a good night’s sleep.

JUNIE B.

Which reminds me. I am being interviewed tomorrow for Lucille’s chapter about what to wear to school.

MOTHER

That sounds like a lot of fun! You are going to do a great job. And by the way – you tell El Toro she is not invited. Do you understand me?

JUNIE B.

(sighing) Sí...

(MOTHER kisses her on the forehead and exits.)

SOME STUFF ABOUT CLOTHES

knows just what to

with hair?

Who could it be, do

(LUCILLE:)

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I know some stuff a bout

clothes.

(LUCILLE assumes the position of a TV reporter. JUNIE B. sits in an interview chair, and a CAMERAMAN runs the camera.)

LUCILLE

Are we rolling, people?

Rolling.

MAY

Can I click it? Please? Please can I click it???? I really really want to click that sign...

Uh... sure.

(CAMERAMAN hands MAY the sign.)

CAMERAMAN

CAMERAMAN

LUCILLE (authoritatively)

Lucille Lunchtime Interview, gonna take a take one.

(MAY clicks the sign.)

Hah! Let me do it again.

Well...

Just one more time...

Ok.

MAY

CAMERAMAN

MAY

CAMERAMAN

(CAMERAMAN hands MAY the sign.)

LUCILLE (authoritatively)

Lucille Lunchtime Interview, gonna take a take one!!

(MAY clicks the sign.)

Hah!

MAY

(LUCILLE composes herself, pats her hair, and smiles once more for the camera. #14 – POTATO ON THE SIDEWALK! begins.)

POTATO ON THE SIDEWALK!

LUCILLE: Happy lunchtime, Clarence somebody or other Elementary School! Lucille here, with the one and only Junie B. Jones, who is going to give us her own very special insights on what to wear to school!

b b b b 4 4 . . . .

(LUCILLE:) Now Junie B., tell us your thoughts on this very important and interesting subject!

JUNIE B: Well, the best kind of clothes have giant pockets in them. Giant pockets are like having grocery bags sewn right on your clothes. Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

(LUCILLE:) Now Junie B., tell us your thoughts on this very important and interesting subject!

JUNIE B: Well, the best kind of clothes have giant pockets in them. Giant pockets are like having grocery bags sewn right on your clothes.

JUNIE B: One time, I was walking home from school and I found a little potato on the sidewalk.

JUNIE

(LUCILLE and JUNIE B. glare at MAY.)

JUNIE B: Personally, if it were up to me, I would like to wear pajamas to school. But Mother says it is against the law.

(interrupting)

Some bod y call the po

LUCILLE: (growing more irritated) ANYWAY... what colors do you expect the Þrst graders to be wearing this season? (MAY starts to interrupt but catches herself.)

JUNIE B: The bestest color for clothes is darkish reddish. Darkish reddish is the color of chili and meatballs and ketchup... (MAY is getting so excited she starts dancing.) ... and WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

MAY: (intense excitement) Background! (MAY’s dancing gets bigger as JUNIE B. takes a container Þlled with spaghetti out of her lunch while continuing the interview.)

JUNIE B: Speaking of... it is ALWAYS good to match the clothes you are wearing with what you are having for lunch. That way, when you spill stuff–

(JUNIE B. spills spaghetti all over MAY.)

(JUNIE B:) It doesn't even show that much.

MAY: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Mr. Scary!!!!!! Mr. Scary!!!! (MAY runs off.)

LUCILLE: (to CAMERAMAN) Did you get that?

Uh-oh. Here comes Mr. Scary... Is that steam coming out of his ears?

CAMERAMAN

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

EL TORO FABULOSO

El Toro Fabuloso Reprise

Moderato

don't you think I'd

stop her if I

could?

(LUCILLE and the CAMERAMAN run off as JUNIE B. turns into EL TORO FABULOSO and charges off.)

SCENE 7: THE JONES KITCHEN

(JUNIE B. enters as the family is preparing for a homemade pizza dinner. She hands her notes to MOTHER, who reads one. JUNIE B. then slumps in a chair.)

MOTHER

You are in trouble, young lady.

JUNIE B.

I have already given myself a very large and informative talking to, Mrs. Susan Jones, so we can all just move right along to Grandpa Miller’s pizza.

MOTHER

No pizza until you tell me exactly what happened.

JUNIE B.

Can’t those people see I’m just trying to be myself??? And I don’t know why I’m the one always getting in trouble instead of tattletale blabbermouth May.

DADDY

Well, I’m going to guess pouring pasta on her head might have something to do with it.

JUNIE B.

Daddy, it wasn’t my fault! (looks at GRAMPA MILLER) ... Which is not true. So, if you will excuse me, I will be over here giving my arms and hands a time-out. The rest of me, however, would like extra pepperoni.

GRAMPA MILLER

You don’t have to like everyone, Junie B. But you do have to get along.

JUNIE B.

That is good news, because some people are not to my taste, Grampa Miller.

MOTHER

You know what’s not to my taste, Junie B. Jones?

JUNIE B. Anchovies?

MOTHER

You getting so many notes home. Not to mention using words like tattletale and blabbermouth.

JUNIE B. And stinky stinkbomb?

DADDY

Junie B.!!!

GRAMPA MILLER

I bet if you gave it a try, you could think of something very nice to say about May.

JUNIE B.

She is... the biggest, bestest bossyhead in the whole world. Gee, Grampa Miller, you are right! That wasn’t hard at all.

MOTHER

Let’s just keep working on it, shall we? SCENE 8: SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY (

Pre School Supplies

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

that I wrote a

play a bout them.

Thank you ver y much. - -

Thank you ver y much. ú ÓU

What are you doing, May?

STUDENT

MAY

Sheldon’s parade inspired me to try my own live theatrical element for my chapter!

JUNIE B.

Grrrrrr... I mean, greeeeat news!

MAY

That is nice of you to say, Junie Jones. And I’ve even saved a small part for you. Even though everyone else rehearsed in my backyard last night and you did not bother to come, you can still participate.

JUNIE B.

No thank you.

MAY

(quizzically patting her on the head) You are welcome.

(Other STUDENTS enter.)

There you are, everybody! Now here are some bottle caps you can all glue on your shoes for the dance break!!!!

A STUDENT

Cool!!

I like it!

ANOTHER STUDENT

JUNIE B.

And we have to do this in the auditorium? In front of... people?

MAY

Don’t worry, Junie – you can just follow along.

JUNIE B.

B!!! There is a B in there!!!

A bee? Aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

SHELDON

JUNIE B.

Not that kind of bee, Sheldon!

MAY

Here come the second graders now! Places, everyone!!!!

(#17 – SCHOOL SUPPLIES PROLOGUE begins.)

(MAY runs offstage.)

MR. SCARY

Good morning, children! Before we start our fire-safety assembly, we have a special presentation from our very own Room One first graders! Are you ready, Room One?

MAY (offstage) Ready!

MR. SCARY

Then without further ado, take it away!!!

(#18 – SCHOOL SUPPLIES (PART 1) begins.)

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

(MAY motions for the other "school supplies" to enter as one by one, in costume, the STUDENTS come forward and take a bow.)

STUDENTS:)

Here's to the e ra ser!

(ERASER enters and takes a bow.)

(RULER comes on, pageant-waving, with a ruler and sash à la Miss America.)

gic, spec ta cu lar, won

plies!!!!

(MAY dances/vamps, awaiting the entrance of JUNIE B. and EASEL.)

MAY: Hark... who goes there???????? (No luck. JUNIE B. does not enter, as per her cue. MAY tries again.)

(MAY:) (calling offstage) Is that a dry-erase board I see in the distance? (Still no JUNIE B.)

(MAY:) Dry-erase board, where are you?

(Underscore continues as JUNIE B. enters dressed as a large dry-erase board, followed by a student dressed as an EASEL.)

JUNIE B: (on script) Hi, Easel, how are you today?

EASEL: (on script) I'm Þne. You are so lucky you can erase yourself.

JUNIE B: Why thank you, Easel. But you get such nice things painted on you, and that is nice too.

JUNIE B: (on script) Hi, Easel, how are you today?

EASEL: (on script) I'm Þne. You are so lucky you can erase yourself.

JUNIE B: Why thank you, Easel. But you get such nice things painted on you, and that is nice too.

EASEL: (on script) Why thank you.

JUNIE B: You are welcome. (a beat – then, off script) And guess what, Box of Crayons?

MAY: (startled, then, recovering) What????

(EASEL looks at JUNIE B. funny. This is not the normal script.)

JUNIE B: (smiling, then grandly) You will be happy to know that I have come up with my very own list of FUN school supplies.

MAY: You have??? When???

JUNIE B: Right now! And let me tell you, they are going to knock your socks off.

SCHOOL SUPPLIES (PART 2)

Supplies (Part 2)

SHELDON: What's happening?

JUNIE B: Don't worry, May, you can follow along!!!

(JUNIE B:) Who doesn't need a teensy little ßyswatter???

STUDENT: Uh-oh.

SHELDON: What's happening?

MAY: Hey!

JUNIE B: Who doesn't need softie fake bull horns, people, 3x

(JUNIE B:) I ask you? NO ONE!

SHELDON: What's happening?

MAY: Hey!

JUNIE B: Who doesn't need softie fake bull horns, people,

(EVERYONE looks at each other! What should they do?)

(JUNIE B. gets ready to charge as the other KIDS look on incredulously.) (JUNIE B:) Stand BACK, people!!! You think that before you is a box of crayons, but we all know that she is really the LIZARD QUEEN! MAY: I am not!!!!

(JUNIE B. gets ready to charge as the other KIDS look on incredulously.)

(JUNIE B:) Stand BACK, people!!! You think that before you is a box of crayons, but we all know that she is really the LIZARD QUEEN!

MAY: I am not!!!!

JUNIE B: And when we see the Lizard Queen, we know what we must do!

MAY: JUNIE JONES that is not funny!

JUNIE B: Good thing I have these softie fake bull horns, children –Do not be afraid, for I will protect you!!!

MAY: Junie Jones you stop that right now!!!!

(JUNIE B. and MAY face off as we hear strains of "El Toro Fabuloso." The other STUDENTS back up. Then, to the tune of the end, JUNIE B. charges MAY offstage.)

KIDS all look at each other sheepishly.)

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

EL TORO SHOO BEES

SCENE 9: JUNIE B.’S BEDROOM

(MOTHER is tucking JUNIE B. into bed.)

MOTHER

Junie B., I am about up to here with you!

JUNIE B.

Then it’s a good thing I am way down here.

(JUNIE B. flattens herself out on her bed, burying her face in her pillow.)

MOTHER

May worked hard on her chapter and put a lot of thought into it!

JUNIE B.

And El Toro Fabuloso ran away with the whole production.

MOTHER

How on earth would you feel if one of your friends said your ideas were boring and dumb?

JUNIE B.

That would be unpleasant.

MOTHER

Yes it would. And that’s why you and that bull of yours are going to take that pencil and paper you love so much and write May an apology letter, which you will deliver tomorrow, do you understand me?

JUNIE B.

That would probably be a good idea???

MOTHER

(sighing, kissing her on the forehead) Good night, Junie B.

JUNIE B.

Buenas noches. I mean, good night, Mother. (#21 – DEAR MAY begins.)

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

Dear May

DEAR MAY

(MOTHER exits, leaving JUNIE B. alone in her room. She takes a piece of paper and a pen and begins to write.)

& # # 4 4 ∑ Ballad

hurt your feel ings I did n't know

li zards had feel ings. For give

please... (JUNIE B. crumples up the paper and begins again.)

(JUNIE B. puts the pen and paper down, pulls up the blankets around her, and goes to sleep.)

(JUNIE B. runs toward the bus, panting under the weight of her scuba gear and snorkel. JUNIE B. tries to get up the stairs but can't get a hold of her beach ball. Finally, she ßops down next to HERB, takes off her scuba mask, and sighs heavily.)

JUNIE B:

You may pro ceed. -

(The bus pulls out as LUCILLE looks her over.)

LUCILLE

I have to admit, that is indeed a bold fashion choice.

HERB

Why are you dressed like that, Junie B.?

JUNIE B.

Well, Herbert, I was supposed to carpool today. And I have some news for all of you. There was no pool to be found in the whole operation. What kind of a mean joke is that, I ask you?

(JUNIE B. reaches for the letter to give to MAY, then...)

MAY

Did you hear that, everyone? Junie thought a carpool had a real swimming pool in it!!!! Ha!

(JUNIE B. slams the envelope back in her backpack.)

JUNIE B.

Grrrr!!!!

(beat)

And I would like you all to note that that grr was under my breath!!!!!

(JUNIE B. flops back into her proper seat.)

HERB

Well, I for one am glad you are back on the bus, Junie B. You can help me with my chapter for the book.

JUNIE B. (softly) Oh, yeah. That.

HERB

“Things You Can Do On The Bus.” (#23 – BUS RULES begins.)

Bus Rules

BUS RULES

JUNIE B: Whatcha got so far?

HERB: Well, I'll show you!

(JUNIE B. takes Herb's notebook and examines it.)

those are just some of the things

you can do on the bus!

(The other KIDS look at HERB a little skeptically.) (HERB:) Well, what do you think?

JUNIE B: It is a LOT of sitting. I tell you. A lot of sitting. (JUNIE B. begins to twiddle her thumbs.)

HERB: But wait, Junie B., there's more!

those are just some of the things

(JUNIE B. takes Herb's notebook, adjusts her glasses, and reads.)

one of you can sit in the

HERB: Bet you never thought of that, did you?

JUNIE B: (to audience) Well, Herbert, that's certainly a start. But I bet I can think of another thing to do on the bus!

HERB: Be my guest!

HERB: I didn't really think

HERB: I didn't really think of that, but I guess it's... well...

ú Œ fa ces!

(JUNIE B:) BLEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!!!

LUCILLE: Junie B. Jones, what are you doing?

make some sil ly fa ces as the

cars go by And

that's my fav 'rite thing

you can do on the bus!

(JUNIE B. demonstrates – sticking her face out the window and making the scariest face possible.)

(JUNIE B:) BLEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!!!

HERB: Hey, Junie B. – Did that lady just take a picture of you with her cell phone?

JUNIE B: BLEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!!!

LUCILLE: She looks pretty mad. JUNIE B: BLEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!!!

SHELDON: It looks like she took a lot of pictures of you... and she's

LUCILLE: She looks pretty mad. JUNIE B: BLEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!!!

SHELDON: It looks like she took a lot of pictures of you... and she's emailing them somewhere right now.

(JUNIE B.)

(beat)

And what do you know that lady emailed the pictures to the principal. This was not an expected turn of events.

SCENE 11: PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE

(#24 – PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE begins.)

PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE

Guess who's go ing down to the

do some thing wrong

PRINCIPAL:

JUNIE B.

Thank you for asking, I’ll just... (JUNIE B. tries to exit, but...)

PRINCIPAL

And where do you think you’re going, Junie B. Jones?

JUNIE B.

Well, my mother said I am not supposed to be going here anymore, so I think I will be moving right along, thank you very much...

PRINCIPAL

Junie B. Jones, how about you come on in.

JUNIE B.

Well, as long as it’s ok with you.

(JUNIE B. enters the office and sits in a chair. Beat.) Is this about the bull butting incident?

PRINCIPAL

No, but shall we talk about that?

JUNIE B.

I think we can move along.

PRINCIPAL

In any case, apparently you provided my wife with some rather interesting entertainment this morning.

JUNIE B.

Mrs. Principal was the one who sent you the pictures?

PRINCIPAL

Mm-hmm.

JUNIE B.

Well, you tell her a big hello from me.

PRINCIPAL

Junie B., it’s very important to respect the rules of the bus, and all the other ones too.

JUNIE B.

But, how are we supposed to remember them all?

PRINCIPAL

Well, we adults are here to remind you.

JUNIE B.

But, sir, have you ever stopped to think just how many rules there are??? Frankly, I don’t know how you adults do it.

(#25 – RULES (PART 1) begins.)

Rules (Part 1) RULES (PART 1)

No butt ing peo ple with your

(GUS VALLONY enters the ofÞce.)

GUS VALLONY: Well, look who's here! Hello, Junie B.!

head!!!

JUNIE B: Why, if it isn't Gus Vallony, the best janitor in the whole world!

GUS VALLONY: You're too kind!

JUNIE B: It is a pleasure to see you. Might you have any sponges on you that I may enjoy?

GUS VALLONY: Not today, Junie B. (MRS. WELLER, the school nurse, enters.)

MRS. WELLER: Junie B. Jones, how are you feeling today?

JUNIE B: Hello, Mrs. Weller. I meant to thank you for letting me lie down on the couch the other day. It cleared my headache right up!

MRS. WELLER: Glad to hear it!

JUNIE B: But that part about going back to class after you feel better... not so much.

(MRS. WELLER pats JUNIE B. on the head as MRS. GUTZMAN enters.)

MRS. GUTZMAN: Helloooo, Junie B. Jones!

JUNIE B: Why if it isn't Gladys Gutzman, the bestest boss in the whole school! (JUNIE B. throws her arms around MRS. GUTZMAN.)

MRS. GUTZMAN: Nice to see you too, dear! (to the PRINCIPAL)

We can wait if you like...

PRINCIPAL: No, no, join us by all means! I was just explaining to Junie B. that rules are important for safety, and keeping order!

kind! Be time ly! Share

put back the twine in

spools! With -

out a doubt you kids are

plum wiped out with all these

rules, rules, rules, rules,

rules!!!

(The ADULTS all look at each other – forming an idea.)

PRINCIPAL

(patting her shoulder thoughtfully)

Tell you what. Why don’t you go deliver that apology letter to May you wrote...

JUNIE B.

How did you know about that?

PRINCIPAL

Oh, we talk to your parents all the time. (to the ADULTS)

Meanwhile, all of you will help me spread the news that for the rest of the day, there will be no rules for Room One.

JUNIE B.

Is this a joke?

PRINCIPAL

No joke. Of course there are basic rules we can’t change at this late date. But the rules we have control over, we’ll cancel them for the rest of the day! Are we clear, Mrs. Gutzman? No rules for Room One.

Right-o, sir!

MRS. GUTZMAN

JUNIE B.

Do I get to do a victory skip?

PRINCIPAL

By all means. (#26 – RULES (PART 2) begins.)

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR. Rules (Part 2)

RULES (PART 2)

(The ADULTS send JUNIE B. back to class. JUNIE B. arrives at Room One.)

JUNIE B:

JUNIE B: And here comes Mrs. Gutzman now! (JUNIE B. swings the classroom door open, but there is no one in the hall. She tries again.) Here comes Mrs. Gutzman now! (Crickets.) This is puzzling. (Crickets.) That woman is never late! (calling down the hall) Mrs. Gutzman, yoo hoo, Mrs. Gutzman!!!

JUNIE B: And here comes Mrs. Gutzman now! (JUNIE B. swings the classroom door open, but there is no one in the hall. She tries again.) Here comes Mrs. Gutzman now! (Crickets.) This is puzzling. (Crickets.) That woman is never late! (calling down the hall) Mrs. Gutzman, yoo hoo, Mrs. Gutzman!!!

(MRS. GUTZMAN peeks her head in the class, waves, and walks on.)

(JUNIE B.)

Mrs. Gutzman? Where are you going, Gladys? You must have forgotten that it’s cookie time, and we are all ready for your cookies, Gladys!

(MRS. GUTZMAN reenters the classroom.)

MRS. GUTZMAN

I’m afraid there’s been a mistake, dear. And please, don’t call me Gladys.

JUNIE B.

There is no mistake when it comes to cookie time, Mrs. Gutzman. Pardon me for asking, Mrs. Gladys, but where are the cookies?

MRS. GUTZMAN

Junie B., you said so yourself... there are no rules today!

JUNIE B.

I’m not following you.

MRS. GUTZMAN

It’s a rule that first graders have cookie time after recess. But since there are no rules...

MAY

There’s no cookie time.

ALL STUDENTS No cookies?????????

MRS. GUTZMAN

Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I am going to go catch up on my knitting. Have a lovely day, children!

(The CHILDREN gasp.)

MAY

Junie Jones, look what you did!!!

JUNIE B.

When I was talking about rules, I meant no dumb rules! Not no cookie rules!!!!

MAY

Well, it seems that was not made very clear.

LUCILLE

Now what do we do???

(JUNIE B. fishes through her backpack.)

JUNIE B.

Don’t worry, children! I have a half-eaten blueberry yogurt I will be happy to share with all of you.

LUCILLE

(taking out her cell phone) And I will have Nana order us Chinese food.

MR. SCARY

Lucille, you can’t use a cell phone in the classroom.

LUCILLE

I know, Mr. Scary, but I thought since Junie B. broke school you might make an exception.

JUNIE B.

I did not break school!!!!!! (looking sadly at MR. SCARY) Did I???

MR. SCARY

No, Junie B. You did not break school. But you might want to think about the idea that rules aren’t all dumb. Maybe some are even yummy. And they are always important...

(#27 – RULES (PART 3) begins.)

RULES (PART 3)

play with match es, you might

lot of real good rea sons you should (ALL STUDENTS:)

MR. SCARY: So, if it's ok with you, we can put all the rules back?

JUNIE B: That sounds Þne.

MRS. GUTZMAN:

(Knock, knock, knock)

MR. SCARY: Good. Then you'd better go see who's at the door. JUNIE B: I know who!!! (JUNIE B. opens the door to Þnd MRS. GUTZMAN, cookies in hand.) ALL: Hooray! (They cheer as MRS. GUTZMAN enters the classroom.)

MR. SCARY:

(JUNIE B. takes a big bite of cookie and holds it triumphantly in the air. #28 – RULES (PLAYOFF) begins.)

SCENE 12: SCHOOLYARD

(#29 – REPORT CARD DAY begins.)

Junie B.'s Essential Survival Guide to School JR. Report Card Day

REPORT CARD DAY

(The KIDS dance on, hands clutched over their hearts à la preparing to sing an alma mater.)

child

SCENE 13: MRS. MORTY’S FRONT YARD

(We move to Mrs. Morty’s front yard. JUNIE B. is shoveling. HERB approaches her.)

HERB

What are you doing, Junie B.?

JUNIE B.

If you look closely, Herbert, you will see that I am burying my report card in grouchy Mrs. Morty’s front yard and covering it up with dirt.

Why?

JUNIE B.

Why? Why do you think, Herbert?

HERB

Can I see it?

JUNIE B.

Look now, because it’s about to be gone forever.

HERB

Junie B., this report card isn’t bad.

JUNIE B. Keep reading.

HERB

So you got a few checks in behavior. Nobody’s perfect.

MOTHER

Junie B. Jones. What on earth is going on with you?

JUNIE B.

Thank you for asking, Mother, but I am fine. How are you today? Oh, and look. You brought pie.

MOTHER

For Mrs. Morty, who alerted me to the fact that you were digging up her begonias. Herbert, will you do me a favor and give this to Mrs. Morty?

HERB

Sure thing, Mrs. Jones.

Goodbye, Herbert and pie.

JUNIE B.

(JUNIE B. sadly looks after them.)

MOTHER

Why are you burying your report card, Junie B.?

JUNIE B. (sadly)

I thought I had all the answers to everything. So much so, I was going to write a whole book about it!!!! But alas, poor Mother, I fear that is not the case and there are areas of my life that need improvement!

MOTHER

Everybody needs improvement in something, sweetie. Isn’t that the whole point of this book you are trying to write?

JUNIE B.

Oh, who’s kidding who, Mother. What do I know?

(MOTHER takes something out of her pocket and hands it to JUNIE B.)

MOTHER

Maybe we’re more alike than you know.

JUNIE B. What do we have here?

MOTHER

Why don’t you take a look and see.

JUNIE B.

It looks like a report card. A dusty, musty old report card from ancient times.

MOTHER

Thank you.

(#30 – MOTHER WAS A BAD KID TOO begins.)

MOTHER WAS A BAD KID TOO

needs to re mem ber not to call her class mate Tom my

Jones that stu pid stink y jerk. Su san (JUNIE B. looks at MOTHER incredulously, then continues reading...) Rit.

butt her class mates with her head. (MOTHER'S TEACHERS fade away.)

Twice as Fast

JUNIE B: (amazed and thrilled)

MOTHER

I wouldn’t exactly say that, Junie B.! I wasn’t a bad kid. I was a kid!!!!

GRAMPA MILLER

What’s the ruckus?

JUNIE B.

Good news, Grampa!!! Mother was a horrible child just like me!!!!

GRAMPA MILLER

She was cute.

JUNIE B.

Oh, Mother, after all this time, why didn’t you tell me about El Toro Fabuloso?

GRAMPA MILLER

Who’s that?

JUNIE B.

The bull that lives inside my stomach. It turns out Mother had one too!

MILLER (to MOTHER)

What did you used to call yours, honey?

Alan.

Alan????

MOTHER

JUNIE B.

MOTHER

I wasn’t as creative as you are.

GRAMPA MILLER

Sure you were. You see that, Junie B.? You are going to grow up to be as spectacular as your mother, here. It just takes a little time.

JUNIE B.

And speaking of time... I still have to come through with a big idea for the book, and time has alas run out. Oh, who will help me in this time of need?

(MAY enters.)

MAY

Good evening, Jones extended family.

GRAMPA MILLER

Well, who’s this lovely young lady?

JUNIE B.

Grampa Miller, I would like you to meet May Murkee.

GRAMPA MILLER

Pleased to meet you, dear.

(MAY gives a slight bow. She is holding a very large notebook.)

MAY

(perfunctorily)

The pleasure is all mine, sir. Pardon me for interrupting your mealtime festivities, but I had some very important news I wanted to share with you.

GRAMPA MILLER

Well, by all means.

MAY

Junie Jones, as one of the principal targets of your headbutting, I thought it was time to take it upon myself to do a little research. And guess what, according to these 37 Google articles, this multimedia presentation, this edition of the 4-H Club newsletter, there is no such thing as a bull inside your stomach.

JUNIE B.

Huh?

MAY

There is no such thing as a bull inside your stomach, because there is no such thing as a girl bull. You, Junie Jones, are a calf. A baby cow.

JUNIE B.

I’m not following.

MAY

And since you are but a gentle baby cow, Junie Jones, there is hope. For according to this data, cows can usually calm themselves with none other than a gentle, soothing moo.

JUNIE B.

What?

Go ahead, try it.

MAY

JUNIE B.

You want me to moo right now?

MAY

Give it a go.

Mooo.

Well?

JUNIE B.

MAY

JUNIE B.

That does make one feel better!

(#31 – THAT DOES MAKE ONE FEEL BETTER begins.)

(JUNIE B. gets an idea.)

(JUNIE B.)

When you feel like El Toro Fabuloso, all you have to do is mooo!!! What kid wouldn’t want to know about that? (music bump) And come to think of it, I have a zillion ideas about things that can go in my chapter about how not to get in trouble!!! (music bump)

Because good news! I have gotten in trouble over a zillion times and that makes me a huge expert! Ha-ha! (music bump) I mean, oh noooo!!!

MOTHER

Oh no what?

JUNIE B.

El Toro Fabuloso does not sound like the name of a cow. I will have to think of something else.

MAY

Why don’t you just call her Junie... B.? (MAY holds out her hand to shake.)

JUNIE B. Really?

MAY

That might be the perfect name.

(#32 – THE THINGS YOU LEARN ALONG THE WAY begins.)

THE THINGS YOU LEARN ALONG THE WAY

The Things You Learn Along the Way

JUNIE B: You know, May, you are a pleasant and non-stinky helpful-head.

MAY: Aaaaaw!!!

(JUNIE B. puts her arm around MAY.)

& 4 4 4 Swing Pop

(On applause, JUNIE B. takes out the finished notebook and waves it in the air proudly.)

(#33 – JUNIE B.’S ESSENTIAL SURVIVAL GUIDE BOWS begins.)

JUNIE B.’S ESSENTIAL SURVIVAL GUIDE BOWS

words to know from Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide to School JR.

essential: An important, crucial element of a process.

insufferable: Unbearable or intolerable.

taffeta: A silk fabric with a crisp texture.

unfurled: Expanded or developed.

multimedia presentation: A standalone presentation that uses various slides, graphics, and videos to convey a point or narrative.

matador: A Spanish word meaning “bullfighter.”

corazón: A Spanish word meaning “heart.”

sheepishly: Performing an action in a guilty, embarrassed, or selfconscious manner.

jousting: A game popular in some areas of Medieval Europe where two people on horseback would try to unseat each another using long wooden poles.

alma mater: The hymn or song of a learning institution.

begonia: A type of flower.

ruckus: A commotion or disturbance.

Junie B.’s

glossary

actor: A person who performs as a character in a play or musical.

author: A writer of a play or musical, also known as a playwright. A musical’s authors include the book writer, a composer, and a lyricist.

blocking: The actors’ movement in a play or musical, not including the choreography. The director usually assigns blocking during rehearsals.

book writer: One of the authors of a musical. The book writer writes the lines (dialogue) and the stage directions. Also called the librettist.

cast: The performers in a show.

cheating out: Turning oneself slightly toward the house when performing so the audience may better see one’s face and hear one’s lines.

choreographer: A person who creates and teaches the dance numbers in a musical.

composer: A person who writes music for a musical.

creative team: The author(s), director, choreographer, music director and designers for a play or musical.

cross: When an actor onstage moves toward or away from another actor or object.

dialogue: A conversation between two or more characters.

director: A person who provides the artistic vision, coordinates the creative elements, and stages the play.

downstage: The portion of the stage closest to the audience. The opposite of upstage.

house: The area of the theater where the audience sits to watch the show.

house left: The left side of the theater from the audience’s perspective. If something is located “house left,” it is to the left side of the audience as they are seated in the theater.

house right: The right side of the theater from the audience’s perspective. If something is located “house right,” it is to the right side of the audience as they are seated in the theater.

lines: The dialogue spoken by the actors.

lyricist: A person who writes the lyrics of a musical. The lyricist works with a composer to create songs.

lyrics: The words of a song.

Essential Survival Guide to School

monologue: A dramatic speech by one actor.

music director: A person who is in charge of teaching the songs to the cast and orchestra and maintaining the quality of the performed score.

musical: A play with songs that are used to tell a story.

objective: A goal or purpose to be achieved.

off-book: The actor’s ability to perform his or her memorized lines without holding the script.

offstage: Any area out of view of the audience. Also called backstage. onstage: Anything on the stage and within view of the audience is said to be onstage.

opening night: The first official performance of a production, after which the show is frozen, meaning no further changes are made, and reviews may be published.

play: A type of dramatic writing meant to be performed live on a stage. A musical is one kind of play.

protagonist: The main character in a musical. The action centers around this character.

raked stage: A stage which is raised slightly upstage so that it slants towards the audience.

rehearsal: A meeting during which the cast learns and practices the show.

script: 1) The written words that make up a show, including spoken words, stage directions, and lyrics. 2) The book that contains those words.

speed-through: To speak through the dialogue of a scene as quickly as possible. A speed-through rehearsal helps actors memorize their lines, and it infuses energy into the pacing of a scene.

stage directions: Words in the script that describe the actions of the characters.

stage left: The left side of the stage, from the actor’s perspective. The same side of the theater as house right.

stage manager: A person who is responsible for keeping all rehearsals and performances on schedule.

stage right: The right side of the stage, from the actor’s perspective. The same side of the theater as house left.

upstage: The part of the stage farthest from the audience. The opposite of downstage.

warm-ups: Exercises at the beginning of a rehearsal or before a performance that prepare actors’ voices and bodies.

Actor’s Script Credits

Contributing Editors

Rebecca Marlowe

Marianne Phelps

Designer Kevin Johnson

Layout

Matt Hagmeier Curtis

Music Layout

Daniel Mertzlufft

Rob Rokicki

Music Supervisor

Lindsay Lupi

Associate Editor

Laura Jo Schuster

Senior Managing Editor

Susan Fuller

The Broadway Junior® Concept and Format

Created by Music Theatre International (MTI)

Adaptation and support materials developed for MTI by iTheatrics under the supervision of Timothy Allen McDonald.

See MTI’s complete line of Broadway Junior® musicals at: broadwayjr.com

MTI’s School Edition and full-length musicals may be found at: MTIShows.com