All About Women May 2013 by Mountain Times Publications

A AW M A G .C O M

M ay 2 0 1 3 FREE

Coming Full Circle with

WANDA MORRISON

saraH horton Local Coupon Queen

Christine Davé The Values of Connection

Becky webb Beneﬁts of a Doula

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WO ME N

A L L

A B O U T

EXPO

‘Celebrating Women of the High Country’ · Keynote address by area wellness expert and life coach, Bonnie Church · Entertainment by local vocalists, musicians and dancers · Vendors will include businesses and organizations that focus on the needs of women and their families

you’re invited FREE admission! WHEN 10 a.m. - 3 p.m., Saturday, June 29 where Watauga County High School Boone, NC

this year’s highlights INCLUDE RECOGNIZING: WOMEN OF WORLD WAR II — those who served, volunteered or were otherwise afﬁliated with the military during the war.

HIGH COUNTRY WOMEN OF THE YEAR IN THE FOLLOWING CATEGORIES: · Service to the High Country (volunteer focus) · Preserving Mountain Heritage · Business and Professional Leadership · Advocacy for Women

To showcase your business or organization: Contact Radd Nesbit at (828) 264-6397 or radd.nesbit@mountaintimes.com

A rainbow was created with unique and different colors; together they standout as one whole beautiful thing. So are we. -Katya Bertrand

publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Sherry Boone Heather Brandon Danielle Bussone Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Yogi Collins Heather Jordan Linda Killian Caitlin Morehouse April Nichols Kelly Penick Clarissa Shepherd Becky Webb

production & design Jennifer Canosa Meleah Bryan

advertising Radd Nesbit 828.264.6397, ext. 271

cover photo Photo by Sherrie Norris

by Sherrie Norris

contents news bits christine davé becky webb cheer camp connecting forever families sarah horton divine appointment home décor gaylene petcu wanda morrison all about women expo chronic fatigue syndrome high country courtesies by the book friends with kids healthy lady mom’s world beauty ﬁnancial advice recipes

wanda morrison

7 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 30 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48

christine davé

becky webb

the greenes

sarah horton

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

editor’s note

Bittersweet

Many of you have heard me refer to Mother’s Day as the happiest and saddest day of my year all rolled into one. No other day evokes such deep emotion within me as I honor the memory of my mother, while at the same time, celebrating my role as a mother. It’s bittersweet, indeed, but one that I cherish for each of its unique characteristics. Remembering my mother brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. She was a lady and one who lived the majority of her life as the one described in Proverbs 31. She wasn’t without fault — who among us is? But, she loved her children, she sacrificed for us, and despite visual and hearing impairments — and abuse that no woman should have to endure — she made life worth living for us. She set an example for us to live by and through her death, she really taught me how to live. Her last words, “Jesus, Jesus,” spoken with a smile as she extended her little frail arms upward from her hospital bed, made me know, without a doubt, that she was being carried to her eternal home for which she had so yearned. For many hours prior, she had been unresponsive. After losing her firstborn (adult) son, followed immediately by three years of suffering from a horrible cancer that literally ate away at her body, my mother was finally at peace. I find comfort in that assurance, but it doesn’t make me miss her any less today than I did the morning she died. The tears stream down my face as the memory beckons. Nearly three months after she died, I was blessed with my life’s second greatest gift, several weeks earlier than expected: a healthy bundle of joy with brown eyes and hair — just like the little boy my mother often spoke of in the days prior to her death. We had thought she was hallucinating from the powerful morphine required to ease her pain when she asked, “Who is that little boy with those big brown eyes running through the meadow.” “Who is that little boy Sherrie is holding?” My gynecologist told me I was having a little girl. I had already chosen her name — Mary Nichole — in honor of my mother and another important mother figure in my life. Nearly 24 years later, I still miss my mother. The little browneyed boy has grown into a fine young man who brings me much pride; two years ago, he chose for his life mate a young lady who I love as much as if she were my own daughter — and not just “in law.” Garrett, I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always — don’t ever forget the words to our favorite book. And, yes, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be. Blessed by motherhood,

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

newsbits&clips Women’s music and art festival coming to High Country The inaugural Siren Mountain Jam takes place June 21 and 22 at the High Country Fairgrounds in Boone, bringing together outstanding women musicians and femalefronted bands, world-class women artists and nonprofit women’s organizations for a weekend of fun celebrating women’s contributions to the arts. A dozen musical acts and 30 arts vendors will combine with a healing arts village, workshops on a variety of topics and activities that promote women’s art and highlight women’s causes and concerns. Confirmed musical acts include Joan Osborne, MeShell N’Degeocello, Rising Appalachia, Toshi Reagon, Michelle Malone, Melissa Reaves, the Swayback Sisters, Lisa Baldwin & Dave Haney, the Mountain Laurels and Amythyst Kiah, and more. Nonprofit sponsors and partners include OASIS and the Appalachian Women’s Fund. Food vendors will provide vegetarian and non-vegetarian options. The event is being produced by Kirsten Tiedemann and Beth Carroll of Sonic Yonic Productions, LLC. Onsite camping and nearby hotel accommodations are available. For information on tickets, lineup and other festival details, check the festival website at www.sirenmountainjam.com or look for Siren Mountain Jam on Facebook.

Habitat for Humanity Women’s Build Days One of the easiest ways for women to “give back” to their community is through the annual Women’s Build Days, a project of Habitat for Humanity. No construction experience is necessary. All tools and materials will be provided for each volunteer. In Watauga County: 1-4 p.m. on Saturday, May 4-11 In Avery County: 8:30 a.m. – 3 p.m. Thursday, May 9 For more information, contact the Watauga County Habitat for Humanity office at (828) 268-9545; in Avery, call (828) 733-1909.

New Opportunity School for Women accepting applications The New Opportunity School for Women is now accepting applications for its summer program at Lees-McRae College from July 7-27. This is a free program open to local low-income women ages 30 to 55 with a high school diploma or GED (no college degree) wishing to better their personal, educational and ﬁnancial circumstances. For more information, contact Karen Sabo at sabok@lmc.edu or call (828) 898-8905.

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Columnist Wins NCPA award Amy Renfranz was recognized on March 21 by the North Carolina Press Association for her weekly column in The Mountain Times. “Dear Naturalist” won the third-place prize in the 2012 N.C. Press Association Editorial and Journalism Contest’s Lighter Columns category for community newspapers with a weekly circulation rate of more than 10,000. Renfranz received her award at the NCPA annual awards ceremony in Chapel Hill, during which the NCPA judges noted that “Dear Naturalist” is a “super column by a writer that transcribes her great personality and knowledge for the enjoyment and opens doors into nature for the readers.” She was described as “a massive asset to the newspaper and the National Park Service — a true professional in her niche in life.”

Smith Honored At ARHS June Smith, National Board-certiﬁed wound, ostomy and continence registered nurse and clinical manager for The Wound Care Center of Appalachian Regional Healthcare System, was recently recognized for her work at the medical facility. During April 14-20, which is Wound, Ostomy and Continence Nurses Week, June was acknowledged as a dedicated individual who educates, researches, consults and administers optimal patient health care to her community. To be eligible to participate in a WOCN-accredited nursing education program, students must be registered nurses who hold a baccalaureate degree or higher and have at least one year of experience in clinical nursing. WOCN Week is especially meaningful to June who served on the WOC Testing Committee with the National Board from 2009-2012. She has been invited to present a poster at the National WOC Nurse Conference in Seattle, Wash. “To be a part of this nationally recognized group is very rewarding and to be honest, it’s the most fun job I have ever had,” she says. “If I can help an ostomy patient go from denial to acceptance, or help a wound patient heal, or conduct research to educate patients on prevention, I am very fulﬁlled.” A native of Goldsboro, June has 24 years of experience working in home health and as a WOCN, 14 of which have been with ARHS serving patients in the High Country. “June is the heart of the wound center team. Her dedication, knowledge, compassion and experience make her a treasure to have as the clinical manager of wound care for the healthcare system,” says Toni Gault, director of Post Acute Services at ARHS. The Wound Care Center, located at 169 Doctors Drive in Boone, provides compression treatment, negative pressure wound therapy, wound irrigation and debridement, therapeutic wound care modalities and Ostomy pre-op education, Stoma marking and post-op care. “I love working with patients, and I view each day as a new opportunity to make a difference,” she says. For more information about the Wound Care Center and its new location, call (828) 262-9520 or visit www.apprhs.org/wound-care-center.

MAY Medical Listings

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

from our readers. Hope Pregnancy Resource Center’s Drive for Hope '13 Annual Beneﬁt Golf Tournament at Boone Golf Club, 433 Fairway Drive in Boone 8 a.m. - 2 p.m. Saturday, May 18 7 a.m. registration and breakfast 8 a.m. shotgun start Lunch provided Sponsored by Tar Heel Capital - Wendy's Come out and take your best swings to support families with unexpected pregnancies.

My wife absolutely adores your publication. Her beautician saves her a copy of the magazine. You also have a great website. Again, many thanks.

-Bob

Free Melanoma / Skin Cancer Screening 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. May 10 Boone Dermatology Clinic 169 Birch Street in Boone Sponsored by Boone Dermatology and Appalachian Regional Healthcare System Full body check or spot check for suspicious areas available. No appointments necessary. The screenings are done on a ﬁrst come, ﬁrst serve basis. For more information, call Boone Dermatology at (828) 264-4553.

let us hear from you We care about what you, our readers, think about the job we are doing. We would also like to know if any particular feature or column has made a difference in your life. Feel free to share your thoughts with us at . . . sherrie@aawmag. com.

April 26th thru May 12th, 2013

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The Value of Connection Christine Sita Davé Christine Davé of Boone values connection in her life — connection to her heritage, to her spirituality and to her community. Connection drives her; her need for that link may well be the thing that allows her to ﬂourish in light of life’s experiences that might, in a person of less strength and perseverance, cause withdrawal and defeat. Christine’s emotional and spiritual depths, however, are inspiring. Born on the Trinidad and Tobago island where her ancestors were sugar plantation slaves, Davé’s family immigrated to New York City when she was almost 4 years old. Her mother, a Hindu, and her father, a Christian, raised their children in both religions; Christine grew up singing in the church choir while also learning Hindu chanting and meditation. Straddling cultures created an interesting foundation, for sure. When she was 14, her father packed up the family and moved to southern India. “I guess my father had a desire to go back to the roots of the practice, so we moved to an ashram (a spiritual hermitage) for about four years,” she said. “That was challenging. There was a lot of adjustment and culture shock.” Connections lost, new ones developed — under duress. There were bigger shocks to come, and they came in relatively quick succession. Christine’s mother, with whom she was very close, died unexpectedly during a surgery at 42 years of age. At 16, Christine was raped. Two years later, she was, in her father’s estimation, marrying age. “My dad put a personal ad in the paper, which is a very common practice. The ads are always really kooky,” she says, “be-

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

cause everybody is handsome and wonderful and beautiful. They all say that. But, I was very distraught, deﬁnitely. I was really nervous, naturally, and didn’t feel that I had a choice. I do feel there is a spiritual choice, but there was not a physical choice in what was happening. It was something I had to do.” Fortunately, it was Dinesh Davé who answered the newspaper ad. Eight years older than his bride-to-be, they married in 1981. These were a lot of stressors for a young girl on the brink of womanhood to handle, and it was no cakewalk for her husband, she says. “I don’t remember a lot of that time. My mind was trying to deal with — and remain sane with — the things that were happening. I’m supposed to be a wife? It was really hard. But, I’m very thankful that I have a partner who has taught me a lot about myself and who is very supportive. We’ve been through lots of things in 32 years.” When Dinesh took a job at Appalachian State University in 1988, the family moved to Boone, yet another culture shock for Christine. Once again, it was the need for connection that came to her rescue. “What helped me a lot was connecting with the ASU Women’s Club and that community,” she says. “I also remember my oldest son asking, ‘How come there’s nobody at Hardin Park School that looks like me?’ So, I volunteered in the schools to get to know people, build connections and teach kids to value the person and not just the stereotypes.” Meanwhile, she sought counseling to break the dysfunctional cycles in her life — not the least of which was the domestic

violence she witnessed growing up. “I tell you,” Christine says, “the ﬁrst time I was able to be calm in a situation where I would normally not be, I was astonished: Wow, this is really possible! That was such a grateful experience.” That experience not only brought healing, but it also led her to earn a master’s degree in community counseling and to become a licensed professional counselor. Now, as assistant director of Student Support Services at ASU, Christine works with ﬁrst-generation college students from low-income backgrounds and recognizes, as in her own life, the importance that connection to other people and to support services play in their successes. Christine also appreciates the connections that ground her to her heritage and faith. Though she doesn’t dress traditionally every day, it’s an important part of who she is. And, she says, practicing “her” form of Hinduism helps her stay grounded to what is important to her. “Spirituality is my foundation to everything,” she says. “I meditate daily, and I do prayers and daily practices to ground me throughout my day and remind me why I’m here, what my purpose is and what’s important to me.”

Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

Christine Davé doesn’t dress traditionally every day, but it’s an important part of who she is.

Photo by Yogi Collins

Doula A New Momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Friend by Becky Webb

The birth of a child is a memory that a mother will carry with her for the rest of her life. There is no experience like it on the earth, and there is really no way to predict the details that will play out before a baby emerges. A mother may not be able to plan the intimate details of giving new life, but she can be prepared for what will happen. A doula is a professionally trained pregnancy and birth coach. My mission, as a doula, is for mom and her partner to have the most beautiful birth experience possible. Often times as a new mom, it is hard to know what questions to ask or what to expect during pregnancy and labor. My job is to help her understand her birth choices and what the risks and beneďŹ ts are of each choice that she makes. Every mom has questions throughout her pregnancy, and it is not always convenient to pick up the phone and call her caregiver during non-emergency and non-medical situations. As a mom and baby professional, a childbirth doula can

Becky Webb recently received national certification as a childbirth doula. Photo submitted

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

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help her navigate those confusing times so you always feel supported and knowledgeable about what is happening with her body and her baby. The word “doula” means servant — and that is exactly what I do. I serve mom and her baby by supporting her mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally during labor. I give her encouragement and help her to carry out her birth plan. I mediate and advocate for her among nurses and caregivers so that her desires for her birth are never lost. It is no secret that dad needs help during labor, too. Fathers often want to be part of the birth experience, but don’t know how to begin to navigate it, even for themselves. As a servant to the mother, I help take the pressure off dad by aiding him in understanding how to support mom mentally, physically and emotionally, too. Support for mom comes in all shapes and sizes. All moms can beneﬁt from the knowledge of a doula if they are planning

a medicated birth or if they are in need of relaxation techniques during labor. Many clinical studies have found that a doula’s presence at birth: • results in shorter labors with fewer complications • reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience • reduces the need for Pitocin (a laborinducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction and c-section • reduces the mother’s request for pain medication and/or epidurals There are several wonderful doulas in the High Country, and our desire is for the birthing mothers of the area to feel cared for and supported. We understand that she wants a positive, non-judgmental birth experience that she can look back on and remember how much she grew and thrived as she entered motherhood or continued to expand her family. I have yet to meet a mother who didn’t enjoy the support of a doula by her side to cheer her on through pregnancy and birth.

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Webb Receives National Certification Becky Webb, local childbirth doula and owner of Endless Blessings Doula Services, recently obtained certification from Doulas of North America, an international organization known throughout the world for its training and certification program. Webb is currently the only DONA-certified childbirth doula in the Boone area. Since 2011, Webb has provided pregnancy, labor and nutritional support for expecting couples through Endless Blessings and continues to work as an advocate for mom and dad to-be so that they have an enjoyable birth experience. For more information, visit www.endlessblessingsbirth.com, call Becky at (828) 964-3496 or email endlessblessingsbirth@gmail.com.

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MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

THREE CHEERS FOR MOMS

Standing - Lori Tolbert and Lee Marshall, with daughters, Morgan Tolbert and Hailey Marshall, enjoy extracurricular activities together, especially those related to dance and cheer competitions. Photo by Sherrie Norris

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Local moms Lee Marshall and Lori Tolbert are having a great time managing a competitive cheer and dance team in Boone — a unique opportunity, they say, not only to work closely together, but to also share time with their two young daughters and the girls’ peers. “Since we started doing this, our daughters have become the best of friends, just as we have. They work really well together and have won several competitions,” says Lori. Competitive cheer and dance might be a new concept to some people in the area, but it’s been a way of life for Lori, especially, for a number of years. Lori began coaching cheer in 1993 in Hudson before her family moved to Blowing Rock in 2004. Soon afterward, she started the ﬁrst All Star Cheer and Dance in Watauga County. Her daughter Morgan, now 13, began cheer and dance when she was just 2. “It’s kinda like my hobby now,” Morgan says. “It makes me feel good and I love it.” It’s a family tradition, they say, as Lori began dancing and cheering as a toddler in the shadows of her mother, who was also her cheer and dance coach for about ﬁve years. Lori says she has included her teams in about three competitions each year “on average” and has hosted various events in the area. As their leader, she has captured numerous trophies for personal accomplishments, including that of overall

dance teacher and cheer coach; she has also routinely received awards for her choreography. Lori is married to Brian Tolbert; in addition to Morgan, she is the mother of two sons, Noah, 10, and 3-month-old Asher. Lee is a Watauga County native and is married to Barry Marshall. Of all the extra curricular activities that their daughter Hailey has tried — clogging, ballet, tap, tennis and basketball — Hailey says nothing has held her interest like cheer and modern dance, which includes hip-hop, pom dance and twirl. Hailey, 9, is constantly moving, her mother says, “flipping, jumping and cartwheeling, even down the aisles of the supermarket,” so putting her energy into competitive motion is good medicine. “We first started cheer in 2008 when Hailey was in kindergarten,” Lee says. “I signed her up with the local all-star competitive cheer team and she fell in love with it.” It was “so scary,” Lee said, to make that first step into the competitive world of cheering. “It was hard for us to make the commitment, not only financially,” she says, “but also for all the traveling to competitions,

mandatory practices, and so forth. Competitive cheer and dance is a hard road, and not many people are willing to make the commitment to do it the right way.” By all accounts, these moms have done it the right way. As a relative newcomer to the cheer and dance scene, Lee was initially considered the “team mom” with Hailey’s first team and was always along to help when and where needed. As program manager for The Children’s Council of Watauga County, located in Boone, it was a natural fit for Lee. “I feel like it really began for me when Hailey started.” However, the cheer team with which Hailey first became involved dissolved in 2011 when the coach and several team members moved away. “I contacted Lori and asked her about starting a new competitive team here in Watauga County,” Lee says. “It just seems like we were meant to be with Lori and Morgan and to bring other girls together for a really unique kind of sport.” Now, the Lori and Lee Dance Company offers not only an opportunity for their own children to cheer and dance, but also

one for others who enjoy the high-energy and often demanding team involvement. Lori and Lee are hosting “Kamp Kix” this year, a summer camp to teach basic skills of dance. The camp will be held at the High Country Home Builders Association from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. July 22-26. The fee for the weeklong experience is $100. A new dance and twirl season will begin on August 5 for ages 3 to 15. Registration will be held at 2 p.m. on May 11 at the High Country Home Builders Association on the N.C. 105 bypass, where most of the team’s practices are held. To ensure the safety of team participants, these mom coaches are certified and follow the stringent rules of the National All Star Federation. For more information, visit www.loriandleedancecompany.shutterfly.com; find Lori and Lee Dance Company on Facebook or call Lee at (828) 964-3569. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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The Greenes’ ‘forever family,’ from left: Jayden, Jessica, Michael, Taveon, Joy and Zayden. Photo submitted

‘ Forever Families’

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

May is National Foster Care Month, a time to celebrate Barium Springs foster parents and all those who make a meaningful difference in the lives of children and youth in foster care. Barium Springs transforms lives by giving hope to children and families. Just three years ago, twin baby boys Jayden and Zayden and their 2-year-old brother, Taveon, were living in unimaginable conditions and were without a family to care for them. Now, they have been adopted and are members of Joy and Michael

Greene’s family. “They’re officially ‘Greene Beans,’ and we couldn’t be more excited,” says Joy. We believe all kids, like Jayden, Zayden and Taveon, deserve a safe home, a happy childhood and a healthy start to life.

sew RIGINAL

Meet the Greenes When Joy and Michael Greene became licensed foster parents, they had intended on fostering only teens. When they received a call for an emergency foster care placement of twin baby boys and a toddler, they immediately went to prayer to seek God’s direction. “What could we say? These boys needed a place to stay, and we just couldn’t turn them away,” says Joy. “I couldn’t stand the thoughts of them possibly being separated from each other.” Michael and Joy felt that God was calling them to put their desires for fostering teens aside and step out in faith. They believed this request to foster these three boys was God’s will for them. “We feel God gave us Jayden, Zayden and Taveon to bring us all together as a family,” Joy says. “The boys have brought us all closer together because we all share this common bond,” says Michael. “We love them. These three little boys have done much more for us than we could have ever done for them.”

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Breaking the Cycle After having the boys in their home for what was supposed to be “only three months or so,” Joy and Michael quickly realized they couldn’t imagine their lives without them, so they began the adoption process. As of Jan. 24, 2012, Jayden, Zayden and Taveon found their “forever home” and officially became part of the Greene family. Barium Springs is delighted to have been a part of helping these three boys ﬁnd their “forever family.” To learn more about becoming a foster or adoptive parent, call (800) 320-4157 or visit www.bariumsprings.org.

APRIL NICHOLS April Nichols is the regional development manager at Barium Springs Central Region.

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Photo submitted

Clipping with Sarah Horton,

the Coupon Queen Sarah Horton of Newland has unequivocally earned the right to be called the coupon queen of the High Country — and it’s a rite of passage that thrills her soul. “It’s so much fun,” she says. “It’s amazing how much money I have saved since I started clipping coupons. Sure, it takes time, but it’s worth every minute.” Not only has the young wife and mother saved thousands of dollars in the last few years through coupon redemption, but she has become a valuable resource by teaching others how to make good use of a pair of scissors. “I use the internet, too,” she says, from which countless deals originate, but she prefers the old-fashioned way. Sarah’s fascination with coupons arose from necessity, she says, after her last public job ended when the business closed. In an effort to stretch her husband’s income, she began to clip a few coupons. “One thing led to another,” she says, “and after I started seeing just how much I could save,

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

there was no stopping me.” Her “biggest haul” came from a oneday shopping spree during which she saved more than $400. “It was between CVS and Harris Teeter,” she says. “My total was $580 before coupons and sales cards. I walked out paying $103. My blood pressure skyrocketed that day, I’m sure. I was in tears when I realized how much I had saved.” Sarah’s “big save” came right around Christmas, which also helped her supplement a food drive at Mayland Community College that helped feed eight families for the holidays. “Knowing that I can help others is a big part of the satisfaction I get from doing all this,” she says. Sarah has also provided Gatorade and similar beverages for local school athletic teams, as well as helping make sure that her elderly grandfather receives adequate nourishment. “If I can get something that I don’t need for free, or for pennies on the dollar, I go ahead and get it and give to family and friends, or to a food bank or to

someone in my church or community who I know could use a little extra something,” she says. Despite hearing that it’s too hard and takes too much time, Sarah says that once you get the hang of it, couponing is simple. “If people would just realize how much they can save, they would know that a little extra time is worth it,” she says. Sarah has enlisted the help of her children, who beneﬁt in more ways than one. “It’s a great way to teach them life applications and to help them learn how to provide for themselves,” she says. “My 4-year-old son has learned cutting skills by helping me. He not only can cut straight lines, but he has learned how to count — in piles of 10.” It’s been a learning process for her, too. “It’s almost like a game to me,” she says, “but I constantly have to use my mind and perfect my strategies. My brain goes 90-miles-per hour all the time.” Describing it as “mostly a woman thing,” Sarah says, “We are able to throw

things around in our mind all the time and keep it going. I’ve got my system down pretty good.” So good that she has been able to help other people establish their own pattern of couponing. “What works for me might not be the same for someone else, but I can help them ﬁnd a way. I know many people are on a tight budget these days, so I want to do all I can to help them,” she says. “It does take time and serous commitment to make it work, but it can work. I prove that every day.” For increased success, Sarah stays informed on the coupon policies of local stores. “They do change from time to time,” she says. “I don’t want to go in one day and be surprised, so I work ahead of time to know what to expect. I study coupons and I talk to store managers on a regular basis.” One store manager told her that 70 percent of people who come through his doors have at least 5 to 10 coupons. “That shows that people really do need to know how to use them,” she says. Couponing often nudges Sarah into trying new products. “I would never have paid full price for hummus. I was sure that I’d hate it, but I ﬁnally bit the bullet because of a coupon and tried it, and my kids love it,” she says. Sometimes, she says, there is an “overage,” after which the store owes her a refund. “I just use the money they give me back to purchase fresh produce and meat that coupons never cover.” Sarah enjoys the reaction she gets from other people who are couponing — or observing her in action. “I’ve had people stop in the grocery store stop and watch me,” she said. “You have to be in the zone. You have to focus. If people see me at the store with my pink coupon book, they know not to talk to me,” she says. “Plus, you can never depend on the checkout scanner. You have to pay attention.” Sarah receives a lot of support from friends and family and gets some ideas from the Extreme Couponing TV show —“but I don’t like using the show for a teaching tool,” she says. “Some of the opportunities and information are just not applicable here.” Sarah’s skills have quickly become known around town. Not only does she

occasionally teach couponing classes through several community venues, including Mayland Community College and the Avery County Senior Center, but she has also made coupon books for a privately owned daycare center (where she has begun working occasionally). “It saved the owner big bucks, which helped pay for needed playground equipment,” she says. Whether she saves hundreds of dollars, or just a few, every penny counts, Sarah says. “What you save on one thing, you can spend it on something else that you need. You don’t have to be coupon crazy, but using them makes sense — and cents — either way you look at it.” “It’s my way of giving back — to my family and my community,” she says. “I can spend more time with my kids and through what I save, I can help buy extras that we might not have, otherwise.” In her free time, Sarah provides a photography service for numerous athletic teams in Avery County. You guessed it — “If I print photos, I never pay full price. I won’t, because I know I don’t have to. There’s a coupon somewhere,” she says. “I love taking pictures of the kids and have watched many of them grow up through my lens.” Sarah equates printing coupons with making her own money — “the only kind I can print at home without getting into trouble.” While admitting that her “hobby” may have grown into an obsession, it makes her appreciate what she has. “I love using my couponing strategy as a tool to teach my children the value of a dollar,” she says. An Avery County native, Sarah is 29 and married to Jesse Horton. She is the mother of “three amazing kids,” Rylee, 9, Ellee, 6, and Lane, 4. She is a graduate of Avery County High School and Mayland Community College, with a national certiﬁcation in medical assisting. Plan to see Sarah at the upcoming All About Women Expo on June 29 as she leads an informative and upbeat breakout session on the art of couponing.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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A Divine Appointment One beautiful afternoon in South Carolina, a young woman named Joyce took her ailing mother for a ride from their home in town into the country. At one point, seeing cars parked beside the road, Joyce asked her mother, “Wonder what’s happened?” As they drew closer, they saw a funeral sign placed beside the road alerting drivers to slow down; a wreath of beautiful white ﬂowers hung on the porch post of a nearby home. Joyce had a strange feeling come over her and “took it as a sign” she said, that she should return home and prepare food for the grieving family. Southern women know it’s a tradition to do this sort of thing, but usually for people we know and in our own community.

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Neither Joyce nor her mother knew anyone in the area, but Joyce knew what she had to do. She returned home, helped her mother back inside and prepared potato salad and country ham biscuits. An hour or so later, the women headed back to the country. Joyce parked the car and got out but left her fragile mother to wait inside, who watched as her daughter walked up on the porch with food in hand. No one was outside and the door was closed, so she knocked and waited to meet the family for whom she had prepared food. She was surprised when an older black lady named Hannah opened the door. It was Hannah’s husband who had died. Joyce introduced herself and explained that an “inner voice” had instructed her to bring the food. Hannah was overwhelmed by the kindness of a stranger. She invited Joyce to come inside the house and visit, but Joyce declined due to her mother’s condition. Looking toward the car, Hannah asked, “Who is that sweet little lady in your car?” Joyce responded, “That’s my mother. She’s not well. I had driven her out to get some fresh air when I saw the wreath on your porch.” Hannah told her, “If you need help with your mama, later on, come get me. I’ll help you care for her.” Hannah soon became an important person in the lives of Joyce and her mother. She helped Joyce care for her mother at home until her mother died. Some might call it a coincidence that Joyce and Hannah met. To me, this is a ﬁne example of “a divine appointment.” Two assignments were given to two women, two strangers, who listened and carried out the plan that God placed before them. I can’t help but wonder if I’ve missed many “divine appointments” in my lifetime. This story, shared with me long ago, made me realize the importance of listening more closely to that “inner voice” — one, that I believe, is God’s voice, leading us to share his love, even with strangers.

Celebrate Spring! We carry a full line of Spring gifts from Michel Design Works and others. Boone Drug and Healthcare at Deerfield 345 Deerfield Road | 828-264-3055 www.boonedrug.com

sherry boone Local writer who shares her personal stories with others in hopes that they, too, will be comforted by some of life’s sweet memories.

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

HomeDĂ&#x2030;corandMore

Flooring a n d

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

M o r e

Spring is a perfect time to think about remodeling. The perfect place to start is from the floor. Many homeowners, including several of my clients, have recently chosen to give up their carpeted floors for hardwood, but not just any hardwood but that with a story. Let me explain. I have a supplier who tears down the floors before he installs them. I know you are wondering, “How is that possible?” It’s pretty simple, really. The supplier begins by searching the area for old barn structures. When he finds wood that is worthy of his mill and his clients, he purchases the structure, tears it down and starts the milling process that eventually produces a beautiful result. Hardwood flooring has come a long

way. I remember the ones in my childhood home that I helped my mom scrub with steel wool, cover with paste wax and then buff to a shine. This was a tedious summer project, but because of the paste wax’s short life, it had to be repeated yearly. Now, with the long life of poly sealant, it makes the old process obsolete and cleaning the floors a breeze. If hardwood flooring is not in your budget, keep in mind that laminate flooring has certainly come into its own. In the early days of laminates, you could really tell the difference between the two. Now there are even “hand-scraped” laminates, which make it difficult to distinguish what’s real wood and what’s not. Laminate costs less than hardwood, repels water and is easy to clean, so take time to consider your options before mak-

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ing an investment. A couple of years ago, I gutted an entire home in Blowing Rock and had my supplier install flooring from an old barn. My client loved the fact that not only was his floor beautiful, but it had a story behind it. So, if flooring is in your spring remodeling plans, check out all of your available options. You just might want flooring with a story behind it — and we all love a good story.

Linda Killian Cabin Design Interior Decorating Killiancabin@aol.com

Gaylene Petcu Local Artist Returns to Her Roots By Caitlin Morehouse

Artist Gaylene Petcu has always been drawn to the Appalachian Mountains. For that reason

Gaylene Petcu has returned to southern Avery County, where her childhood summers became inspiration for her artwork as an adult. Photos submitted

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

alone, it is helpful that she could give so much in return. Gaylene was not a trailing spouse brought here by circumstance, nor was she an accidental-tourist-turned-permanent-resident. Instead, Gaylene’s roots go far back in the history of the south end of Avery County. As a girl, her favorite part of summer was her family’s annual visit to see Grandma down in Plumtree. The mountains meant so much to her that one summer many years later, on a break from college at Missouri State University, Gaylene spent her time here painting watercolors of wildﬂowers in her grandmother’s gardens. She describes that summer as “perfect” and classiﬁes it as the pivotal experience in her relationship with Appalachia. In artistic terms, she had found her muse. The artist did not, however, pack up her bags and leave her native Missouri right away. In fact, it was several decades before Gaylene would make Avery County her home. In between times, she spent 25 years in the corporate world with The Boeing Company in St. Louis. There, her days were spent designing graphics for engineering presentations and displays. Although it may seem a far cry from the

dreamy pastorals she creates now, the variety of projects instilled in her a strong sense of color and composition. “When I left my work creating computer-generated art, I was surprised that picking up the hands-on medium of pastels came so naturally,” says Gaylene. “I think part of the reason is that the concepts of design and color had become so ingrained over the years that they were second nature. With that background, I could just concentrate my efforts on learning the technique of pastel painting.” Concentrate she did. In 2007, Gaylene and her husband David permanently relocated to Avery County. A year later, she began participating with Sandra Gates’ Wednesday painters group. Gaylene credits Sandra with encouraging her to move from watercolors to pastels — a move that Gaylene says made all the difference. “Pastels are a great fit for me because I can directly choose any color I wish without mixing paint on a palette. I particularly like to layer the pigments so that some of the lower layers show through,” she says. “The layered colors have a fascinating way of playing off each other to create rich and interesting textures. The process of applying the pigments is unhurried and calm — allowing me time to make adjustments as I go. Seeing the final, luminescent result is a tremendous reward and a compelling reason for me to work in pastels.” Inspired and coached by the Wednesday painters, Gaylene began to make a name for herself among High Country artists. She became a founding member of the Blue Ridge Fine Arts Guild, participated in numerous local exhibitions and won many awards for her work. You might think that Gaylene was satisfied with her newfound success. But these initial fruits of her labors only made the artist yearn for more of a challenge. In 2011, she found just such an opportunity for growth. Through her local arts council, Gaylene learned of the Regional Artist Project Grants. These grants are awarded every year to individual artists with a specific project in mind. After attending an informational session, Gaylene’s goal was clear: She would use this application as the inspiration to create her first cohesive body of work. With much dedication, Gaylene acquired the grant she requested. These

funds were used to purchase a new set of pastels — one much larger and brighter than any she had used before. Prior to the acquisition, Gaylene had decided her subject matter would be close-ups of local nature. Once she saw the brilliant hues now at her disposal, however, inspiration struck again. Friendly local farmers at Summer Breeze Daylily Farm in Montezuma graciously allowed the artist free range over their blooming acreage. And so, once again, she found herself painting flowers in the Avery summer. To come full circle, back to where her inspiration had started, was extremely gratifying for Gaylene. The results of that endeavor are 14 breathtaking paintings of High Country hollyhocks, daylilies, and other beautiful flowers. They comprise her one-woman show, “Bloom! Appalachian Flowers in Full Glory,” which will be on display at The Design Gallery in Burnsville. The show opens with a reception from 5 to 7 p.m. on May 10 and is on display through June 8. Gallery owner Wendy Reid is naturally excited about the show. She says, “It has been so interesting to see Gaylene’s artwork develop over time. She has always been skilled, but with these new works, she has taken her art to a new and even better level. I can’t wait to see people’s reactions to the flowers in ‘Bloom!’” More of Gaylene’s work can be viewed online at www.gaylenepetcu.com. For information about the show, contact The Design Gallery at (828) 678-9869. For more information about Regional Artist Project Grants, contact the Toe River Arts Council at www.toeriverarts.org or (828) 682-7215.

See her exhibit Fourteen breathtaking paintings of High Country hollyhocks, daylilies and other beautiful ﬂowers by local artist Gaylene Petcu will be on display during her one-woman show, “Bloom! Appalachian Flowers in Full Glory,” at The Design Gallery in Burnsville from May 10 to June 8. The show opens with a reception from 5-7 p.m. on May 10. MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Old is New Again for

Wanda Morrison

Wanda Morrison is a woman who brings a long-standing passion to her profession as a well-known collector and dealer of antiques. As owner of Morrison’s Fine Antiques, located in the historic Shoppes on Main building in Wilkesboro, Wanda’s love for timeless treasures goes way beyond the surface of her latest discovery. One might say that she developed a love for antiques soon after she discovered the love of her life, a schoolmate, Mike Morrison, who eventually became her husband and fellow collector of the ancient and unique. It was their joint collection, which spanned more than 50 years, that spurred Wanda to open her antique gallery after the untimely death of her husband four years ago. An estimated 90 percent of her inventory on opening day last September included items that she and Mike had hoped would one day grace the dream home they planned to build together on her family farm. Wanda knew that Mike would have wanted her to be strong and keep their legacy alive by doing something they both enjoyed. Finding strength she didn’t know she possessed, Wanda moved forward, despite cynics and countless roadblocks that seemed determined to stop her. She was not to be deterred. Wanda’s gallery has deﬁed all odds and is now attracting international attention and clients from all corners of the country in search of those one-of-a-kind treasures. It’s a bittersweet victory, she says, but she knows it was meant to be. Wanda’s journey as an antique enthusiast actually started in the early 1960s, when as a young cheerleader raised

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

on a large Wilkes County Farm, she offered water to an exhausted, “skinny, red-headed, freckle-faced boy,” a seventhgrade basketball player named Mike, she says, from her school’s opposing team. When the teens entered the same high school two years later, they formed a bond centered around memories — and laughter — of their ﬁrst encounter. Although not allowed to date until she was 16, Wanda met Mike at the stock sale on Saturdays, where she went with her father. The duo pooled snack money to buy items that caught their attention — such as old pictures and various collectibles. “We realized from the beginning that we liked the same things; my mother let us store our items in the basement of our home,” she says. Mike’s mother often drove him to Wanda’s family farm “to help out,” until he got his driver’s license and came alone, she says. “We started going steady during our junior year in high school, graduated in the spring of 1965 and got married the following December. “I had worked hard and saved money to help my older sister through college” she says. “I got a job as office manager for JCPenney but moved with Mike to Winston-Salem after we got married and worked as a credit manager. We both worked and went to school at the same time.” Mike entered the banking industry, from which he retired many years later, interrupted only by his military service in the United States Air Force. Wanda joined Mike when he was stationed in Minnesota. It was a traumatic time, she recalls, when 1,500 miles from home, she gave birth to their ﬁrst child, who died in infancy.

Photos by Sherrie Norris

“I couldn’t find a Baptist church, but some Catholics took me in and were so good to me during that time,” she says. Two years later, Mike was transferred to South Korea; Wanda returned closer to home and lived with her sister in Boone. “I worked with the license plate agency, the Better Business Bureau and the Chamber of Commerce, which, at that time, was all together. I just did whatever they needed me to do,” she says. Upon Mike’s military discharge, the couple first settled in North Wilkesboro, where they both worked for Northwestern Bank; they later moved to Hays where Wanda worked in the offices of American Drew Furniture Company and Holly Farms, before returning to banking. Wanda’s last full-time job “at home” was with Key City Furniture, where she spent nearly eight years as fabric purchaser during a time of growth and eventual expansion, before Mike’s climb up the corporate banking ladder began. Mike’s skill in the merging of banks required frequent travels and transfers — with Wanda moving with him first to Atlanta and then to Texas, Virginia, Pennsylvania and New Jersey, before finally settling in the Charlotte area as vice president of operations with Wells Fargo/Wachovia. Wanda was never idle and always worked or volunteered with organizations that made a positive impact wherever they lived, she says, including Southern Regional Medical Center in Atlanta, where she helped with major fundraising efforts. Relocating was not always easy for Wanda, who enjoyed the familiarity of home. But, on the positive side, it gave the couple countless opportunities to continue their youthful enchantment with collectibles that grew stronger with time. Internationally and abroad, the couple accrued a valuable collection of rare and un-

She has gone beyond her comfort zone to become a leader in the antique industry — and one who has gained respect and admiration from her peers across the country. 28

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

usual antiques — each piece chosen for the home of their dreams. Mike’s love for collecting extended also to classic cars. After 51 years together, Mike lost a long battle with cancer in 2009. It was a battle, she says, fought with a vengeance, ranging from aggressive “traditional” treatments to those more controversial and experimental. No stranger to heartache, Wanda, and her third-born child, Andy — the only one of four children to survive childhood illnesses — helped each other through the pain of another loss. “Mike was only 62 when he died,” she says. Her father had died from cancer just a few years earlier. Filling the void that death left behind, Wanda concentrated her philanthropic efforts on causes dear to her heart, including Habitat for Humanity, the Wilkes Historic Museum and numerous behindthe-scenes projects quietly performed. Upon learning that the vacant building formerly housing Gray Brothers Furniture Store was for sale, Wanda began forming a plan for her future and for the valuables tucked away in storage. Overcoming extraordinary obstacles, she purchased the building and hired reliable contractors, and after a 14-month renovation project she opened the doors to her fully stocked business on Sept. 28, 2012. “It took 43 years of my life’s savings to do it,” she says, but today, she couldn’t be more pleased with the outcome. Having accumulated a large collection of art, furniture and many unusual items that have survived the ravages of time, Wanda says she learned a lot about antiques from her husband, “the expert.” With a vested interest in regional discoveries, Wanda’s current inventory includes treasures from former diplomats, as well as Japanese artifacts, an old Russian desk set, military and movie memorabilia, carved statues, a colonial wig stand — and much more of what she describes as “the cream of the crop.” It’s not been easy, she says, to part with some of the pieces she and her husband “hand-picked,” but it’s all part of the business. “It’s not as bad when I know that they are going to good homes and will be well cared for,” she says. Beyond the historic, aesthetic and ﬁnancial value of her antique collection, Wanda takes great pride in knowing that she has gained the conﬁdence she needs to succeed — and that she is doing something for which her late husband would approve. She has gone beyond her comfort zone to become a leader in the antique industry — and one who has gained respect and admiration from her peers across the country. She represents her profession in an ethical manner and treats others the way she wants to be treated. Wanda Morrison has come full circle since tending poultry, cattle and horses on the family farm. She’s now tending shop on Main Street, just a few miles from where she called home as a little girl — and where her heart has always been. Morrison’s Fine Antiques, in the historic Shoppes on Main Building, is located at 125 West Main St. in Wilkesboro, just beyond the Vintage Esso Service Station. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday to Friday; 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturdays; and closed Sunday and Monday. For more information, call (336) 818-1413. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

See You at the

Expo

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

In just a few weeks, we will be hosting our third annual All About Women Expo — from 10 a.m. ‘til 3 p.m. at Watauga County High School in Boone. It’s an exciting time around the office as we put our heads together to plan for an amazing way to celebrate women of the High Country. Our wheels are in motion and the planning has begun — and we know that we can’t do it without you. Once again, we will welcome a wide range of vendors representing area businesses and organizations that focus on the needs of women and their families. We will enjoy great entertainment from a few of the area’s most talented individuals, and we will come away rejuvenated after hearing from our own wellness expert and life coach, Bonnie Church, who will present the event’s keynote speech. With your help, we will pay tribute to two groups of phenomenal women — we just need to know who they are:

Before

Those who made a difference during World War II, whether they served in the military during that historic era, or volunteered back home with the Red Cross, went north to help ﬁll the industrial gaps, or kept the home ﬁres burning while their husbands were at war protecting our great nation.

Four new High Country Women of the Year, chosen from nominations in the following categories: Service to the High Country (volunteer focus), Preserving Mountain Heritage, Business and Professional Leadership and Advocacy for Women.

We need your help identifying and locating these selﬂess women who have made an indelible impact upon their hometown. For WWII women, send their names, contact information and a description of the service they provided to their country during the war to: All About Women magazine, Re: WWII Honorees, 474 Industrial Park Dr. Boone, NC 28607 or email sherrie@aawmag.com. To nominate someone for Woman of the Year, send as much information as possible about her contributions to All About Women Magazine, Re: Woman of the Year nomination, 474 Industrial Park Dr. Boone, NC 28607 or email sherrie@aawmag.com. To showcase your business or organization, contact Radd Nesbitt at (828) 2646397 or radd.nesbitt@mountaintimes.com. Hope to see you there. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

After

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Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia May 12 is Awareness Day for those of us surviving chronic fatigue syndrome and ﬁbromyalgia — including those who are bedridden or homebound. Many of us who have been given these diagnoses are terribly misunderstood, but most are heroes. CFS and ﬁbromyalgia have many overlapping symptoms and can only be properly diagnosed by a doctor. Often, it’s the doctor who cares enough to explore beyond the long lists of primary symptoms that include the following: fatigue to exhaustion, muscle pain and weakness, dizziness, gastric disturbances, unrefreshed sleep and sleeplessness, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, sore skin, low-grade fever, night sweats, memory loss, dizziness, many allergies and sensitivity to odors, chemicals, light, noise, extreme cold and heat. I have written the following to help bring awareness to these illnesses, and I dedicate the words to all of those, who like me, are survivors. Allow Your Spirit To Soar Those of us surviving chronic illness walk a very different road than most. Functioning, while living with pain, exhaustion, brain fog, sensory overload and more. Then add in the loneliness, isolation, anxiety and depression — by which we are easily overwhelmed. It’s not only about where we are today, but about how long we’ve been here. Unlike some illness, when we speak of ours, it’s in terms of years, not days or weeks. We all suffer the loss of things undone, lives not lived, events missed and the days yet to come. Being misunderstood by society, friends and family can lead to a place of despair. However, it’s in the place of sad-

ness and darkness that we find our true strength. We learn to flourish, even in our pain. We find new and creative ways to live. We appreciate the simple things of life that most people take for granted. In order to survive chronic illness, we must shift our thinking, concerning what “productive” now means to us. Our limitations are, just that — limitations. We need not allow other people, or society, to define us or impose their ideas of self-worth onto us. We are vital human beings. This illness is not of our own making. It is not who we are. It’s just where we are. We show our strength and courage with each breath we take, every obstacle we overcome and each time we learn new ways to cope. We are fearless, even in our pain. When we hear those voices of defeat speaking to us, we need to tell ourselves that we’re not defeated. We’re only learning to maneuver on a different path, realizing this is empowering. We need to know that we are courageous, even when we don’t feel like we are. We are strong, even when we don’t feel strong. Know that living life, in a different way, is not giving in or giving up. It’s regaining the power that was already within us. We’ve grown and flourished despite chronic illness. We show our bravery by staring illness in the face, moving through it each and every day, with grace and perseverance. We walk this journey together. It’s a kinship of the heart, a combination of many different people from many different backgrounds — yet one in spirit. There is strength in numbers and for us, knowledge is power. Be kind to yourself. Respect who we are. Love the person that you’ve grown to be.

My wish for you is that you will see this in yourself, that you’ll bask in this truth and that this truth will rest on you, settle in you and allow your spirit to soar. During this time of awareness, I encourage others to take time to reach out to those with one of these illnesses; make a phone call, send a card, let them know you care.

clarissa shepherd Local author of “Find Your Way: A guide to natural healing,” available through Amazon.

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highcountrycourtesies

Goal Setting: Planning Your Journeys

Goals

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will end up some place else.” -Yogi Berra Congratulations, graduates, grownups and grannies. New adventures await you — whether you are preparing for the monumental milestones of college or high school graduation, reentering the workplace, or encountering your next set of life challenges. Wherever you are today, whatever your dreams for tomorrow may include, identifying your goals can help you map a strategy to make those worthy goals a reality. Like a road map, goals show where you are headed, allow you to decide how to get there and help you choose what you will do when you arrive. Having goals motivates people to prepare, to work, to sacriﬁce and to persevere to reach their objectives. The following acronym provides easy reminders in setting and accomplishing goals.

DO IT! Decide Organize Initiate Take it on! 34

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

DECIDE

ORGANIZE

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” - C.S. Lewis

“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win and expect to win.” - Zig Ziglar

How do you want your life to look in ﬁve years? Ten years? Fifteen years? What do you want to learn? To do better? To understand more fully? What principles do you want to incorporate into your life purpose? Who are you and where are you going? What do you want to accomplish in your life? Asking questions like these is a primary step to making decisions about what you want for yourself and which goals you set. Be speciﬁc and realistic. Frame your goals positively with value statements about what you will do, rather than what you will avoid. Consider steps needed to achieve each goal. Abraham Lincoln counseled, “A goal properly set is halfway reached.”

Write your goals and place them where you can review them regularly. Start with a few small goals. Set a reasonable time limit for each goal, estimating the time required for each step. Ask yourself which aspects of your daily life will be impacted by your pursuit of these goals. What are you willing to sacriﬁce to achieve those goals? Will any of the steps cost you valued relationships or your integrity? Are you willing to devote the time and energy required to realize these goals? Anticipate obstacles you may experience and strategize contingency plans. Determine to view any challenges as opportunities to learn to do something differently. Success has been deﬁned as getting up one more time than you fall down. Resolve to keep getting up and marching forward.

career

health family

INITIATE

TAKE IT ON!

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” - Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” -Walter Elliott

Believe you can accomplish your goals and take the ﬁrst tiny step. Know that farther down the road of life, you will be more disappointed about important dreams you did not pursue than the ones you did. Author Karen Lamb cautions procrastinators, “A year from now, you may wish you had started today.” Recognize that your plan is merely the starting point. Though you may feel outside your comfort zone at times, remind yourself why you are pursuing the task at hand. Share your goals with a mentor or friends who will encourage you and remind you that you are capable of reaching your goals. Set a rewards system to celebrate accomplishing the smaller steps of larger goals. Determine to enjoy the view along the way and to embrace the experiences. Know nothing is wasted.

Keep on trucking. Perseverance is the fuel that keeps you on the highway towards your goals. Assess your progress regularly. Ask what you are doing well and appreciate your successes. Question whether your actions are building toward or supporting your goals. Know that perfection is unrealistic, granting yourself grace to adapt or modify plans as any problematic situations develop. Keep focused on your goals by reminding yourself verbally of what you have planned and accomplished so far, along with what you are working toward and becoming. Speaking statements of accomplishment and intent can affirm your strengths and provide motivation to continue. Journal your progress. Include inspiring quotes and proverbs as motivational

reminders. Remind yourself that you are worth the effort. Contemplating what you want to accomplish and become will help you dream of your destination/goal. You can then plan your travel in manageable chunks and begin the journey, knowing you can adapt and problem solve as needed. As you persevere, using your own unique set of gifts and desires as only you can, you will arrive at your destination- hopefully wiser for the experiences. Happy travels!

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2012 As founder of High Country Courtesies, Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She is Director of High Country Cotillion, a social education program for youth and conducts High Country Courtesies customer service workshops. Contact her at scarlton@highcountrycotillion.com.

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Cowards and Fools, A Novel by Kell Martin The vampire genre has been entertaining us for generations. From Bram Stoker’s “Dracula,” which first appeared in print in 1887, to Ann Rice’s “Interview With The Vampire,” the genre has, in recent years, gained a resurgence which shows no signs of ebbing. The film industry is replete with longin-the-tooth heroes, from Barnabas Collins of the soap opera drama “Dark Shadows,” which developed a cult following in the late ‘60s, to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” conflicted character Angel, for whom the spinoff series “Angel” was created. The notion of sexy night stalkers out to suck our blood and turn us into one of their own continues to captivate us. These stories grapple with the timeless struggle between the powers of good and evil, dark and light, heaven and hell. Kell Martin has created The Bloodbound Series, which posits another point of view — that the creation of a bloodthirsty race is the product of natural selection. In her first book of the series, “Cowards and Fools,” we learn the nemeses are not truly vampires. No one turns into a bat

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

at night, and these characters do not sleep in coffins. They are more aptly described as vampire-like human offshoots that have undergone centuries of genetic mutations in a secluded forest of Romania to become the creatures they are today. To survive, a small vulnerable clan of forest dwellers genetically evolved over many generations to create a new, hardier race. The Bălans, a branch of this relatively new species, undergoes another mutation that imbues them with tremendous strength, an ability to heal spontaneously and a particular lust for blood and rage, which can only be quenched by murder. The tale then becomes a heroic quest to destroy the few remaining members of the Bălan clan, even if it means the end of the hero’s (Adela Mocanu) life and the end of her own family bloodline. Underlying the vampire tale is a feud between the Bălan clan and the Mocanu family originating more than 300 years earlier. The feud has nearly destroyed both families — and each side is deter-

mined to end the other. An unexpected visit from American cousins helps to balance the odds in Adela’s favor. But when the youngest cousin is taken and turned into “one of them,” loyalties are strained and tested. The title, “Cowards and Fools,” refers to her cousins’ side of the family, who chose to escape to America to avoid the Bălan vendetta (cowards) and Adela’s side of the family who chose to stay and ﬁght to the end (fools). Whether a coward or a fool, they are all in it together now. Thus begins a tale of battle between good and evil, brother against brother, family honor, sibling rivalry and numerous layers of love pitted against uncontrolled impulses and hate. Martin visits the dark side of the soul in “Cowards and Fools” and juxtaposes scenes of brutal violence with scenes of loving tenderness. “This isn’t a book I planned,” says Kell. “Vampire genre isn’t a genre I’ve been interested in in the past. The book just unfolded as I was typing. It is interesting to

About the Author Kell Martin is the pseudonym the author has chosen for this series. She prefers to keep her professional employment separate from her writing life and has therefore created Kell Martin as a pen name. For this reason her photograph reveals only a small portion of her face, keeping her identity anonymous. She lives in and works in North Carolina. “Cowards and Fools” was published in an e-book format as a Kindle edition. It can be purchased at www.amazon.com.

me that someone said it really is a strong story about nature versus nurture. While I can see that, it wasn’t something I was trying to get across as I was writing.” “While I was reading it,” she says, “it struck me how it is about the importance of family, of sticking together even when things are difficult. Also, it is about having a strong intention, a strong good intention versus that of evil. I think what comes up in the second book is the importance of intention — an awareness of ourselves and our intentions. Instead of living an unexamined life, trying to be more aware of what our impulses and intentions are and how that can really drive how things unfold.”

Danielle Bussone Danielle Bussone is a writer, an artist and a wellness coach. Visit her blog at www.vegginoutandabout.com.

youngatheart

my Friends and their Kids 38

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“She’s been spitting up all day,” said my friend, Michelle, while trying to hand me her 5-month-old daughter, Cameron. “Want to hold her?” I did not need to respond — my facial expression said it all. I do, however, recall taking an involuntary step backward while muttering something under my breath about my clothing being “Dry Clean Only.” Another friend, Julie, jumped at the chance to hold the new baby; Cameron promptly spit up on her. Rewind to fall of 2012, when I hosted a baby shower for Cameron’s father, David. It was an adult’s only fete, because (1) I was afraid of having children in my very kid-unfriendly house and (2) Michelle didn’t want her older child, Connor, to think the gifts were for him. There had apparently been some confusion, bordering on tantrums, at other showers.

We ate, drank and laughed, but the highlight of the event was the blindfold baby food taste test challenge. The girls thoroughly enjoyed watching while I fed the boys spoonfuls of baby food while each “contestant” attempted to guess what foodstuffs had been pureed to create the “delicious” flavor. It was both hilarious and disgusting. Never having shopped for baby food before, I had made every effort to find the most unpleasant varieties on the market. I thought that the fathers in attendance should know what their children were eating. The “boys” were good sports; however, when David took his turn, he suggested that I put down a tarp after the first few flavors because he was afraid that he was going to spit up. (Cameron clearly takes after her father.) Now in my mid-30s, I seem to have more and more friends with kids. Other than these kids, I have very little experience with young children. It is not my world, and if I am being honest, it is a world that I find puzzling. Being a parent seems to require that one become nurse,

maid, teacher, firefighter and drill sergeant all rolled into one. It sounds exhausting. Kudos to parents who learn to communicate using a mix of words and sign language, who have the patience to put together the same puzzle — time and time again — and who will watch a favorite Disney movie on repeat for months on end. And, then there are the diapers. I don’t do diapers. This is the main reason that I do not offer to babysit. That, and my fear that, contrary to what you insist, I will actually break your child, which would likely end badly for me. Oh, and the kid. My usual response, when asked to babysit, is to explain that my idea of said activity involves gags, corners and closets. The funny thing is that many a parent responds enthusiastically to this suggestion. Do they know me well enough to recognize that I am joking and are trying to call my bluff? Or, are they so desperate for a night away that they are willing to take the risk of coming home and finding their child sitting in a closet with a gag over his or her mouth? Joking aside, I am likely to do, say, feed,

show or give a friend’s child something inappropriate, simply because I do not know any better. I have no idea what movies and music are allowed. I think spicy food is perfectly ﬁne for a child’s digestive system. And, I think toys that make lots of noise or have hundreds of tiny pieces are great fun. What can I say? I subscribe to the belief that children should be given candy, caffeine and puppies before being sent home with their parents. My friends Rebecca and Jeff just recently became the most recent to join the Friends with Kids Club with the announcement that they are expecting a baby girl. Time to shop for inappropriate baby gifts — I wonder if she already has a drum kit?

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological ﬁeld experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

Wilkes

Shoppes on

Main

125 West Main Street | Wilkesboro, NC 28697 | 336.818.1413

healthylady

REDEEM THE PAST 40

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‘Why be a prisoner to your history, when you can be a master of your destiny?’ - John DeMartini

That is a powerful quote, but sometimes we have to face our history to be emancipated from it. Spring is a great time to shed our historical baggage. One of the best ways to do that is to acknowledge it. We all have painful memories of one sort or another. Very likely, our stress hormones were elevated during the bad experience. Memories created under stress are powerful. Adrenaline, the hormone that primes you to run or ﬁght an enemy, also serves to carve memories deeply into your brain. That is why daily, ordinary, repetitive activities are easily forgotten. There is no corresponding adrenaline rush. On the other hand, the death of a loved one or breaking up with a sweetheart is something you will remember for the rest of your life. Remembering bad experiences helps us survive. When the baby touches a hot stove, the adrenaline spikes; the association between stove and pain is forged. Because of this memory, the baby is far less likely to do it again. Sometimes the associations are not so helpful — like someone who was injured in a bicycle wreck and panics at the thought of ever getting on a bike again. Facing painful memories can help you rewire your reaction to them so they do not control your future. Try this exercise to help you reﬂect on and reframe the past:

PREPARE Schedule 60 minutes to go through the exercise. Find a quiet place to sit and reﬂect. Have a journal or a computer for composing your thoughts. WRITE DOWN ALL YOUR STRONGEST PAINFUL MEMORIES Write down all that come to mind, starting with childhood. Painful memories evoke anger, shame, pain, fear and anxiety. Example: My father ridiculed all the spelling errors on one of my school papers in front of my best friend. I felt humiliated. REFLECT ON THE LESSONS LEARNED FROM THAT INCIDENT Pain is a teacher if we are willing to learn the lessons. Example: I learned that ridiculing others hurts. I have learned to be sensitive and tactful when I need to correct others under my authority. FORGIVE YOUR OFFENDERS Write down the names of people who were involved with this painful memory. Express that forgiveness out loud. Hearing yourself say the name of your offender

will imprint the moment you chose to forgive. Now shred the list and throw it away. Forgiving your offender is not the same as excusing his or her insensitivity or abuse. It means that you are not going to mentally rake them over the coals in accusation ‘till the day you die. It means you are not going to wallow in fear and walk in distrust of others, just because this person hurt you. When you refuse to forgive someone, it doesn’t hurt them — it hurts you. If you have strong emotions associated with a particular individual, you are likely to experience a ﬂare-up of emotion again. You can diminish the strength of that emotion by consciously relaxing. (Try deep breathing and stretching.) The stress hormones strengthen memories. The relaxation hormones — acetylcholine speciﬁcally — softens them. MOVE ON Now it is time to take the lessons you have learned from the past to construct the life you want in the future.

bonnie church Certiﬁed Life and Wellness Coach Author/ columist, motivational speaker Certiﬁed Trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

mom’sworld

family Stories around the Table

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Recently, I had the pleasure of having both my mother and motherin-law in town during the Easter holiday. There was lots of food — and more food — and then some snacking in between the food. My husband was in seventh heaven with crawfish etouffee, Creole shrimp stew, gumbo and wild-caught fried catfish. Leftovers flood my refrigerator as I write these words. In addition to an inordinate amount of eating, we were encouraged by my mother-in-law and sister-in-law (who are huge card and game players) to participate in many late night games of Five Crowns, Mexican train (played with dominoes), Kings in the Corner, Fan-Tan and Bananagrams. There’s just “something” about sitting across a table from each other and engaging in games that put all electronic

entertainment to shame. While I enjoy watching a good movie or TV program, I almost feel guilty for how infrequently we would have our kids sit around the table for a game of cards or Scrabble. The card and word games we chose required thinking, communicating and strategizing in an interactive way that was refreshing. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think the online community can quite compete with the presence of another human being to witness in person your brilliant move to end the card game. In addition — notwithstanding a long two weeks of babies being born prior to our most recent gaming experience — the card playing combated our tendency toward laziness. In truth, even when tired, I never regretted mustering the energy to take part. As we played, stories of childhood cropped up from all corners. There were the tales that we had heard a thousand times, and then there were the stories about which one of the mothers would say, “I don’t think I ever heard about that.” Recalling the gingham Easter dress from 40-plus years ago that was clenched tightly in the mouth of a cantankerous goose, my mom reﬂected upon her fear for my then 4-year-old sister. My sister-in-law spoke of adventurous childhood activities at the family farm in New York, where my husband’s family vacationed, unbeknown to her mother. My husband recalled cross-country travels with his father, during which a family connection garnered him access to a Las Vegas show. I began to see through the generations present that all mothers seemed to progress through seasons of life, trials and tribulations and children leaving the nest while simultaneously never losing what I call the “soul-worry” that is planted for our children, from the moment they are but ﬂutters in our womb. We cycle through the initial phase of survival — diapers, meals, work and laundry — and then witnessing our children jumping/climbing/ biking/running into accidents. And, into school and playtime with sports, meals, work, laundry; and then, seeing their progression to driving/competing/studying/ growing into graduation with smaller meals, work, college and tuition. Then, it’s

laundry only at holidays and witnessing our children crash, burn and fly in their relationships. And, finally retirement (mental, physical, emotional or occupational), doling out time with children and grandchildren, and oberving our children begin the march through the life processional themselves. As mothers, we branch out from who our mothers were and are — but we are rooted together in the hopes and dreams that propel us all forward for our children. The insight that comes with time and aging is blinding and so bright that it seems inconceivable that we misunderstood our own mothers’ actions, reactions and worries — and yet, our own children likely will not see clearly for many years to come. From all the stories, it is clear — from all the mothers — that there is pain when the chances our children take seem too great, but such palpable joy when accomplishments buoy our children up. As Mother’s Day approaches, I cannot help but smile at the truth that finds its way through love at our table in eating, playing and listening. The competition is fierce, the food grand and the wisdom unparalleled. And the stories go marching on.

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828-773-3277 1879 Old 421 South • Boone, NC MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

beauty

summer Skin care for Kids

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Mountain Girl We are all aware that adults need to take care of their skin daily, but what about the kids? Their skin care is important, too. Children, obviously, aren’t always taught proper skin care regimens at an early age, nor do most care to learn, so it’s a parent’s role to keep skin care in mind. For younger children, especially infants and toddlers, the simple practice of using fragrance-free, gentle cleansers and soap is usually most appropriate for their delicate skin. As these young ones may experience dry skin, or even rashes, it is important to apply (liberally) moisturizers on his or her skin after bathing. The sun has damaging effects on adults and children. Parents should practice proper sunscreen application for not only their own skin, but also that of the child. It is advised that a broad-spectrum sunscreen be used, with an SPF of 30 or higher. Most sunscreen packages should note if they are chemical-free, an important bit of information since some children are prone to allergic reactions and irritation. Also, it is believed that children beneﬁt from using a sunscreen that has titanium dioxide, or zinc oxide, listed as a main ingredient. To ensure maximum protection, reapplying these protective products — at least every two hours during exposure — is encouraged. With summer on its way and the many outdoor activities it brings, parents can have peace of mind in knowing that their young ones are protected by safe skin care practices. Remember, mom, it’s worth the extra time to take precautions.

Gallery 4th Annual

Open House Saturday, May 4th, 6pm - 8pm

Come and enjoy great food, a fun time with friends, and enter to win some fabulous door prizes! See what new handmade and handcrafted items have arrived, and get the chance to meet our local artists and craftsmen! Everyone is Welcome! Look forward to seeing you there!

4516 Tynecastle Highway, Banner Elk, NC (828) 898-9581 www.mountaingirlgallery.com

kelly penick Licensed aesthetician 828.773.3587

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

financial investments women see ‘the big picture’ Several years ago, a book titled “Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus” was quite popular. As the title suggests, the book argues that men and women are vastly different from each other, particularly in their emotional needs and in the way they communicate. While not everyone agrees with the notion that we might as well be from different planets, most of us would probably concur that the two genders frequently behave differently — and this divergence in behavior may also show up in the way we invest. Various studies and anecdotal evidences suggest the following differences in that idea:

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Men tend to trade more often than women. Men seem to buy and sell investments more frequently than women. This difference could result in an advantage for women investors. For one thing, those who trade less often may incur fewer commission charges, fees and other expenses, all of which can eat into investment returns. Also, by holding investments longer, women may be able to take better advantage of market rallies. For example: during the 2008-2009 ﬁnancial crisis, men were more likely than women to sell shares of stock at market low, which led to bigger losses among male traders — and fewer gains when some of the stock values began to rise again, according to a study by Vanguard, a mutual fund company. Men tend to invest more aggressively than women. Perhaps not surprisingly, men seem to be more willing to take risks with their investments. This trait can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, risk is associated with reward, so the more aggressive the investment, the greater the potential for growth. On the

negative side, taking too much risk can speak for itself. Ideally, all investors — men and women — should stick with investments that ﬁt their individual risk tolerance. Women are more likely to look at “the big picture.” Although both men and women investors want information, women seem to take a more “holistic” approach — that is, instead of focusing strictly on performance statistics, they tend to delve deeper into their investments’ background competitive environment and other factors. This quest for additional knowledge may help explain why all-female investment clubs have achieved greater returns than all-male clubs, according to a study by the National Association of Investors Corp., which represents thousands of investment clubs across the country. Men may be more optimistic about the ﬁnancial markets. Some studies show that men are more optimistic about key economic indicators and future stock market

performance. Optimism can be a valuable asset when it comes to investing. If you have confidence in the future, you’re more likely to invest for it, and to continue investing. On the other hand, false optimism may lead to overconfidence, which can have negative results for investors. Neither men nor women have a monopoly on positive investment behaviors; each gender can probably learn something from the other. Ultimately, of course, it’s your decision making, not your X or Y chromosomes, that can determine your ability to make progress toward your longterm goals — so educate yourself about your choices and get the help you need from a financial professional, as you invest through the years.

(Provided by Matt Mosher, local Edward Jones Financial Advisor in Boone.)

Tricia Wilson Law Firm attorney & counselor at law

A community law firm committed to excellence, integrity & results. 3616 Mitchell Ave, Suite 9 Linville, NC 828.733.1529 (1LAW) tricia@triciawilsonlaw.com Real Estate | Estate Planning & Probate | Business & Corporate | Elder Law | Civil Litigation

Free One-hour Consultation for New Clients

KIDS IN THE KITCHEN This month is a great time to spend a few minutes in the kitchen with the kids. If mama doesn’t teach them to cook, chances are they won’t learn early or easily. For a special Mother’s Day project, plan a shopping trip for a few ingredients, come back home and let the fun begin. It’s the simple things in life that make the difference.

KID’S TRAIL MIX 4 cups Chex cereal ½ cup dried fruit bits ½ cup raisins ½ cup peanuts ½ cup M&Ms Put into a large Ziploc bag and shake to mix.

BANANA ROLLS 6 bananas ½ cup peanut butter ¼ cup coconut ¼ cup rice cereal Peel and cut bananas in quarters, crosswise. Spread with peanut butter. Roll in coconut and rice cereal. Serve immediately or chill until ready to serve.

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

LITTLE PIGGYS 1 pkg. hot dogs (cut in half) 2 tubes refrigerated biscuits 8 slices American cheese (cut in half) Wrap each hot dog piece with half of a cheese slice. Then stretch the biscuit and wrap it around the hot dog and cheese. Bake as directed on the biscuit package. Serve with ketchup, mustard, or BBQ sauce.

PB & J WAFFLE-WICHES Mini or regular frozen waffles Banana slices Peanut butter Jelly Toast waffles and layer one with peanut butter, jelly and banana slice; top with another waffle. Repeat as needed.

FRUITY BROWNIE PIZZA 1 box brownie mix 1 container strawberry-ﬂavored cream cheese 1/3 cup powdered sugar Fresh fruit (kiwi, berries, bananas, etc.) Chopped nuts (optional) Chocolate sauce (optional) Prepare brownie mix according to package directions. Spread on lightly greased pizza pan. Bake at 350° F. for 7-10 minutes until done in center. Let cool. In small bowl, mix strawberry ﬂavored cream cheese with enough powdered sugar to make it creamy. Spread over cooled brownie. Top with sliced fruit. Sprinkle with nuts and drizzle chocolate sauce over top, if desired. Cover with plastic wrap and cool in refrigerator for 2 hours. Store leftovers in fridge.

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Photo by Sherrie Norris

Little girls are precious gifts, wrapped in love serene. Their dresses tied with sashes and futures tied with dreams. - Author Unknown

MAY 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

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