Legally Blonde JR. Perusal

welcome to the theater

C ONGRATULATIONS!

You’ll be working with your creative team and fellow cast members to put on a musical. Before you begin rehearsals , there are some important things you should know.

This book is your script ss Whether putting on a school production or rehearsing a professional show, every actor, director and stage manager works from a script. Your script contains some additional information like this introduction and a glossary. You can look up any bold words in the glossary at the back of this book. Be sure to take good care of your script, and use a pencil when taking notes in it, since what you’ll be doing onstage can change during rehearsals.

One of the first things you’ll need to learn is what to call the various areas of the stage. Since most stages used to be raked, or tilted down toward the house, where the audience sits, we still use the term downstage to refer to the area closest to the audience and upstage to refer to the area furthest from the audience. Stage left and stage right are from the actor’s perspective when facing the audience. The diagram above shows how to use these terms to label nine different parts of the stage.

what to expect during rehearsals

You will be performing a musical, a type of play that tells a story through songs, dances and dialogue Because there are so many parts of a musical, most shows have more than one author. The composer writes the music and usually works with a lyricist, who writes the lyrics, or words, to the songs. The book writer writes the dialogue (spoken words, or lines ) and the stage directions , which tell the actors what to do onstage and what music cues to listen for.

Your director will plan rehearsals so that the cast is ready to give its best performance on opening night! Remember to warm up before each rehearsal so that your mind, body and voice are ready to go. Every rehearsal process is a little bit different, but here is an idea of what you can expect as you begin to work on your show.

music:

Since you’re performing a musical, it is important to learn the music early on in the rehearsal process. Your music director will teach the cast all the songs in the show and tell you what to practice at home.

choreography:

After you’ve got the music down, you’ll begin working on the choreography – or dance – in the show. Your choreographer will create the dances and teach them to the cast. The music and the choreography help tell the story.

blocking & scene work:

Your director will block the show by telling the cast where to stand and how to move around the stage. You’ll use your theater terms (downstage left, upstage right, etc.) a lot during this portion of the rehearsal process. You will also practice speaking your lines and work on memorizing them. Rehearsing your part from memory is called being off-book. Your director will help you understand the important action in each scene so you can make the best choices for your character’s objective, or what your character wants.

make the script your own

Always write your name legibly, either in the space provided on the cover of your script or on the title page. Scripts have a way of getting lost or changing hands during rehearsals!

Mark your lines and lyrics with a bright-colored highlighter to make your part stand out on the page. This will allow you to look up from your script during rehearsals, since it will be easier to find your place when you look back down.

Underline important stage directions, lines, lyrics and individual words. For example, if your line reads, “But don’t worry, I ain’t gonna let them get you or me,” and your director wants you to stress the words “you or me,” underline those words in your script.

Save time and space by using the following standard abbreviations:

ON: onstage OFF: offstage

US: upstage DS: downstage

SL: stage left

SR: stage right

CS: center stage X: cross

You may use these abbreviations to modify other instructions (e.g., you could write “R hand up” to remind yourself to raise your right hand). You may also combine them in various ways (e.g., you could write “XDSR” to remind yourself to cross downstage right).

Draw diagrams to help clarify your blocking. For example, if you are instructed to walk in a circle around a table, you might draw a box to represent the table, then draw a circle around it with an arrow indicating the direction in which you are supposed to walk.

Draw stick figures to help you remember your choreography. Remember, the simpler the better.

Mark your music with large commas to remind yourself where to take breaths while singing.

Although you should feel free to mark up your script, be careful it doesn’t become so cluttered with notes that you have a hard time finding your lines on the page! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

some tips for the theater

Don’t upstage yourself. Cheat out so the audience can always see your face and hear your voice.

Always arrive at rehearsal on time and ready to begin.

Keep going! If you forget a line or something unexpected happens, keep the scene moving forward. Chances are, the audience won’t even notice.

Remember to thank the director and fellow cast and crew members.

If you are having trouble memorizing your lines, try writing them down or speaking them aloud�

It takes an ensemble to make a show; everyone’s part is important.

Bring your script and a pencil to rehearsal.every

Before the show, say “break a leg” –which means “good luck” in the theater.

Be respectful of others at all times.

Be specific! Make clear choices about your character’s background and motivation in the show.

Always be quiet backstage. And keep in mind, if you can see the audience, they can see you; so stay out of sight.

HAVE FUN!

Legally Blonde JR. synopsis

At the Delta Nu sorority house, word is out that ELLE WOODS is going to dinner to get engaged to her beau WARNER HUNTINGTON III (Omigod You Guys). MARGOT, SERENA and PILAR lead the other DELTA NUS to the mall, where Elle is having trouble choosing the right dress for the occasion. Later at dinner, just when Elle is sure Warner is going to propose, he breaks up with her, explaining that with his departure for Harvard Law School, it’s time to get serious (Serious). Devastated, Elle locks herself in her room. Twelve days later, the Delta Nus finally get Elle to emerge (Daughter of Delta Nu). Elle realizes the only solution to her heartache is to get into Harvard Law and prove to Warner she’s serious enough for him (What You Want).

Sorority sister KATE helps Elle study for the LSAT, and after several attempts and a lot of hard work, Elle’s application comes upon Harvard Admissions. LOWELL, WINTHROP and PFORZHEIMER, three Harvard admissions coordinators, decide to admit Elle after a very extravagant song and dance (which she submits in lieu of a personal essay) citing love as her main motivation.

On the first day of class, Elle meets her fellow first-year law classmates, AARON, PADAMADAN and ENID, as well as Warner, who is shocked to see her on campus. CALLAHAN (the most feared teacher at Harvard) kicks Elle out of class for being unprepared at the suggestion of classmate VIVIENNE KENSINGTON. Callahan’s teaching assistant, EMMETT, tries to console Elle, but her mood only worsens when Warner confesses to Elle that Vivienne is his new girlfriend. Elle finds the nearest salon and meets PAULETTE, who commiserates with her situation (Ireland).

Afterward, Elle runs into Vivienne who invites her to a costume party. Elle attends, hoping to see Warner, but is dismayed to discover she is the only one who wore a costume – much to Vivienne’s delight. On the way home, Elle meets Emmett, who tells Elle how hard he’s worked to get where he is and encourages her to do the same (Chip On My Shoulder).

Time is passing quickly at law school and Elle is working harder than ever, eventually winning her first court case in class and receiving a recommendation to apply for Callahan’s internship. With her newfound confidence, Elle helps Paulette win her dog back from her estranged boyfriend, DEWEY

Back at Harvard, Warner and Vivienne win two of Callahan’s coveted internship positions, and Warner proposes to Vivienne on the spot right in front of Elle. Before her heart can break, Emmett shows her the internship list, and Elle is ecstatic to discover her name is on it as well (So Much Better).

The interns quickly jump into the case of

fitness video guru BROOKE WYNDHAM, who is accused of killing her wealthy husband. After watching her fitness video (Whipped Into Shape), the interns meet her at a correctional facility where she refuses to give her alibi to anyone but Elle, thanks to their Delta Nu sisterhood (Delta Nu Nu Nu). In confidence, Brooke shares with Elle that she was getting liposuction the day her husband was killed, so there is no way she could be guilty, but no one can know because her fitness empire would be destroyed. The other interns demand that Elle give up Brooke’s alibi, but Elle refuses to go against her Delta Nu pledge.

Back at the salon, Paulette has eyes for the UPS delivery man, KYLE, but isn’t confident enough to go after him. Elle teaches her a guaranteed move to win any guy’s affections –the Bend and Snap (Bend And Snap), but when Paulette tries it, she accidentally breaks Kyle’s nose.

Elle returns to the case, but Callahan has a different agenda and tries to kiss her, just as Vivienne returns, unnoticed. Elle rejects Callahan’s advances and is fired. Defeated, she prepares to go home convinced she was only ever seen as a joke, even though Emmett asks her to stay, finally realizing that he is in love with her (Legally Blonde). Elle stops by the salon to say goodbye to Paulette, but Vivienne – who witnessed what happened to Elle in Callahan’s office and finally understands her – convinces her to keep fighting. The entire salon rallies behind Elle as she heads back to the courtroom (Legally Blonde – Remix) where Brooke fires Callahan and hires Elle to continue her defense.

Everyone is present to witness Elle’s first day in court, including Paulette and Kyle (now a couple), Margot, Serena, Pilar and the other Delta Nus. Brooke’s stepdaughter CHUTNEY, takes the stand, testifying that when she got out of the shower, she witnessed Brooke standing over her father’s body, covered in blood. When asked what she had been doing earlier that day, Chutney reveals she had gotten a perm, and Elle realizes a flaw in Chutney’s alibi – she couldn’t possibly have showered the same day as receiving a perm or her hair would be flattened. Since her perm is still intact, she has obviously lied about her alibi. Under some intense questioning from Elle, Chutney accidentally reveals that she killed her father, mistaking him for Brooke. Elle wins the case and Brooke is set free. Warner tries to propose to Elle, but she gently refuses, having gained her independence and a desire to be the best she can be (Find My Way).

Three years later, Elle is made valedictorian of her class, and in her commencement speech she proposes to Emmett, who accepts. Everyone celebrates their legally blonde friend and heroine, Elle Woods (Finale).

Legally Blonde JR. characters

Margot

Serena Pilar

Gaelen

Kate Bruiser

Elle Woods

Saleswoman

Store Manager

Warner Huntington III

Grandmaster Chad

Winthrop

Lowell Pforzheimer

Jet Blue Pilot

Emmett Forrest

Aaron Schultz

Sundeep Agrawal Padamadan

Enid Hoopes

Vivienne Kensington

Professor Callahan

Paulette

Whitney

Dewey

Brooke Wyndham

Sabrina

Prison Guard

Kyle

Kiki the Colorist

Cashier

Stylist

Bookish Client

Judge

Baliff

Chutney Wyndham

Ensemble Roles: Waiters, Delta Nus, Frat Boys, Harvard Law

Students, Video Performers, Inmates, Salon Patrons, Salon Workers

OMIGOD YOU GUYS (PART 1)

OMIGOD YOU GUYS (PART 2)

SERIOUS (PART 1)

SERIOUS (PART 2)

DAUGHTER OF DELTA NU

PILAR

Tell me those are fun-sized.

(ELLE comes out of her room.)

ELLE

Girls, must we all descend into madness?

PILAR

Oh, honey, so good to see you… Look! We brought you new magazines. We’ve got Town and Country and your favorite, the one they named after you, Elle magazine.

(The DELTA NUs surround ELLE and try to cheer her up with the stack of magazines. ELLE listlessly leafs through an issue of Town and Country magazine.)

ELLE

Thanks, Pilar. But it’s gonna take more than Elle and Town and Country to bring me back from my shame spiral.

MARGOT

Well then sweetie, you’re just gonna hafta hold on ‘cause the new Vogue’s not out ‘til next week.

(The GIRLS make a triangle symbol and look heavenward. ELLE smiles despite herself and flips through Town and Country then screams bloody-murder.)

SERENA

What? Don’t tell me ponchos are back in.

(ELLE jerks to attention, holds up the magazine.)

ELLE

No, worse! It’s Warner’s brother – Peyton Huntington the Fourth and his bride! Pictures from his wedding! LOOK!

(MARGOT and SERENA inspect the photo and collectively cringe.)

SERENA

(horrified)

Muffy Vanderbilt?!

MARGOT, SERENA & PILAR

Muffy?!

ELLE

Wait a sec! That’s the kind of girl Warner wants! Someone serious!

WHAT YOU WANT (PART 1)

WHAT YOU WANT (PART 2)

WHAT YOU WANT (PART 3)

AARON

Aaron Schultz. I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes and became fabulously wealthy writing financial software code. But spending my money grew painfully insipid and stale, so now I’m here at Harvard Law.

EMMETT

Well, that’s—

PADAMADAN

Sundeep Agrawal Padamadan. In my country I was a benevolent dictator, until the coup d’etat. Now I am studying at Harvard Law until my inevitable return. And you may call me “Your Majesty.”

EMMETT

Pleased to—

ENID

Enid Hoopes. I did the Peace Corps, building family clinics by hand out of mud and trees. It was hot and exhausting and I loved every minute of it. But Harvard Law needs me more. Because we need more women in power fighting the oppressive, patriarchal—

(ELLE sunnily enters the room.)

ELLE

I love your top! It’s so fatigue chic. So how psyched are you guys? Snaps, our first day at Harvard Law. (silence)

Hi. I’m Elle Woods. And this is Bruiser Woods.

ENID

(grudgingly) Enid.

ELLE

Oh my God, we both have names that start with an E!

ENID

(sarcastic)

Oh my God, we’re, like, practically twins!

(Other STUDENTS snicker.)

EMMETT

(coming to rescue)

We’re just going around the room… tell us something about yourself.

ELLE

Me? Okay. So I’m a Gemini with a double Capricorn moon and I have a bachelor’s degree from UCLA where I was Sig Ep Sweetheart, president of Delta Nu Sorority and founded the charity Shop for a Cause.

EMMETT

(encouragingly, a good section leader)

Huh. I don’t think dogs are exactly allowed in class.

ELLE

(smiles a bit)

Oh, Bruiser’s not a dog. Bruiser’s family.

(WARNER enters followed by VIVIENNE.)

WARNER

ELLE?!

ELLE

Omigod, Warner! That’s so weird; I totally forgot you go here!

WARNER

What are you doing here?

I go here.

You got in to Harvard?

What? Like it’s hard?

I think this is yours. (reading)

Woods, comma, Elle…

ELLE

WARNER

ELLE

EMMETT

ELLE

Is this my social agenda?

EMMETT

No, your academic roster.

Right. There’s that. (to WARNER)

ELLE

Let’s totally catch up after class.

(ELLE is about to take a seat when VIVIENNE

KENSINGTON sees her. If anyone ever personified the tasteful Talbots blue blood, it’s VIVIENNE. She spots ELLE and her head-to-toe pink.)

VIVIENNE

All that pink you’re wearing. Is that even legal?

ELLE

Pink’s my signature color.

VIVIENNE

So I gathered.

EMMETT

Callahan should be here any second. Three years ago I was sitting right where you’re sitting and I’d heard the same rumors I’m sure you’ve heard too. Callahan’s ruthless. What you really need to know is—

(EMMETT falls silent as CALLAHAN enters.)

CALLAHAN

—You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you.

(The CLASS sits up straight to listen.)

When you choose a career in law you’re bound to hear that “a lawyer is a shark.” Ignore that. It’s simplistic and it’s stupid. Only some of you will turn out sharks. The rest… are chum. (No reaction from the CLASS.)

What’s my point? I’ll tell you. From this class I will hire four young sharks to work at my billion-dollar law firm. As interns. For me. Virtually guaranteeing a career. Provided you can survive.

(CALLAHAN notices ELLE in the front row.) Now, Ms…?

ELLE

(brightly) Woods. Elle Woods.

CALLAHAN

Someone’s had their morning coffee. Would you summarize the case of State of Indiana v. Hearne from your reading, please.

ELLE

Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class?

(Some of the CLASS laughs, but most flinch. CALLAHAN turns slowly.)

CALLAHAN

You have guts, Ms. Woods. (looks at class roster and picks another name) Ms. Kensington.

VIVIENNE

Yes.

CALLAHAN

Let’s say you teach a class at Harvard Law School and a girl on whom you call hasn’t read the case at all should you let it go, or—

VIVIENNE

No! I’d throw her out.

(#11 – THE HARVARD VARIATIONS begins. CLASS gasps. CALLAHAN points to the door and ELLE leaves.)

SCENE FIVE

(ELLE, kicked out of class, walks into the day, stunned. EMMETT leaves class, runs after her.)

EMMETT

Hey, Woods-comma-Elle! Listen, I was kicked out of class once first year, too. It’s awful, but trust me: your law career is NOT over.

ELLE

Law career? So not the problem. Listen, I need to get back into class with Warner.

(VIVIENNE walks out of the classroom, overhears.)

EMMETT

(confused)

Then come back tomorrow and make sure you’ve done your reading.

ELLE

Okay. (sees VIVIENNE)

Excuse me, but why would you do that to another girl?

VIVIENNE

Do what?

ELLE

We girls have to stick together. We shouldn’t try to look good by making each other look bad.

VIVIENNE

I didn’t make you look bad, you just weren’t prepared. Try opening a law book. But I should warn you. They don’t come with pictures.

EMMETT

So I’ll give you ladies a moment then.

(EMMETT creeps back into class. WARNER enters.)

WARNER

Hey!—

ELLE

Warner! Thank God you’re here.

(ELLE goes up to a stunned WARNER.)

WARNER

Elle, I’m sorry—

Sorry about what?

ELLE

VIVIENNE

Warner, is there something you’d like to share with Elle?

ELLE

Do you know her?

WARNER

Yeah… Elle, Vivienne and I went to boarding school together… and she’s my girlfriend now.

ELLE

I’m sorry. What did you say?

VIVIENNE

He said I’m his girlfriend.

GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!?!

ELLE

(#12 – POSITIVE (UNDERSCORE) begins.)

SCENE SIX

(ELLE is sitting in a salon chair at the Hair Affair.)

IRELAND

ELLE

(can’t help herself, blurts)

There’s a party?

(sees VIVIENNE)

Oh. Hello, Vivienne.

Hello, Elle.

Yeah…

VIVIENNE

WHITNEY

(looks to VIVIENNE, nervous)

Next Friday night a few people are getting together…

PAULETTE

Hey, maybe that guy you like’ll be there, Elle! You should go!

(Instantly VIVIENNE knows who the guy in question is and embraces this opportunity.)

VIVIENNE

Definitely come. It’s a costume party.

ELLE

I love costume parties!

VIVIENNE

Of course you do… Next Friday at eight, 243 Mass Ave. See you there.

ELLE

Thanks, Vivenne.

(VIVIENNE and WHITNEY exit.)

PAULETTE

Now go and do this, honey. ‘Cause if a girl like you can’t win back your man, there’s no hope for the rest of us.

ELLE

Thank you for talking me off the ledge, Paulette! You have no idea how much I needed this!

(ELLE and PAULETTE hug and ELLE dashes out to change.)

PAULETTE

Now you go and fight for him!

(#14 – HARVARD PARTY MUSIC begins.)

SCENE SEVEN

(A Harvard Law party.)

VIVIENNE

You do know that Whitney’s father is next in line to be the Speaker of the House?

WARNER

So you’ve said.

VIVIENNE

Just think of it: Future presidents may be in this very room.

WARNER

Great.

(ELLE enters the party dressed as a bunny. She is the only one in a costume. Everyone is silent, stunned. Instantly she realizes she’s been duped when she sees VIVIENNE and FRIENDS giggling hysterically at the sight of her.)

PADAMADAN

Whoa.

Oh my God.

WHITNEY

(ELLE holds her head high, searches for WARNER. His eyes just about pop out of his head when he sees her in costume.)

ELLE

Hi, stranger.

WARNER

Elle! Man!... What’s with the costume?

ELLE

Can’t a girl shake things up?

WARNER

I still can’t get over the fact you’re here at Harvard…

ELLE

Warner, I got into this school, too. And now we’re here together, studying law. Maybe we’ll both get Callahan’s internship and work together...

CHIP ON MY SHOULDER (PART 1)

CHIP ON MY SHOULDER (PART 2)

CHIP ON MY SHOULDER (PART 3)

CALLAHAN

Ladies and gentlemen, I need the best and the brightest. Congrats to the choice few. And as for the rest of you, welcome to the middle. Emmett, I’m making you my co-counsel on the Wyndham trial. Prove yourself here and the term “Associate” isn’t far off.

EMMETT

Yes, sir!

(CALLAHAN slaps the internship list on the wall; everyone’s crazed to see who made the cut. CALLAHAN strides off.)

ELLE

Emmett, that’s so great! I’m so proud of you.

(ELLE and EMMETT have a moment. A crowd collects around the list.)

ENID

Yes! Score!

(VIVIENNE sees the list, squeals, sees WARNER enter.)

VIVIENNE

Oh, Warner! We got Callahan’s internship!

WARNER

What?

It’s just like we planned!

VIVIENNE

WARNER

Babe, this is just the beginning. It’s perfect. Make this the happiest day of my life.

(WARNER gets down on one knee before VIVIENNE!) Marry me?!

VIVIENNE

Yes.

(#20 – SO MUCH BETTER begins.)

WHIPPED INTO SHAPE

(BROOKE)

My secret is nuclear and if it gets out, I could lose my fitness empire, which means everything to me. If I tell you... will you Delta Nu Sister Swear not to tell anyone?

ELLE

I will Double Delta Nu Sister Swear.

BROOKE

Okay. On the day my husband was killed, I had… (BROOKE looks to the PRISON GUARD in earshot, whispers:)

Lipo…

What?...

(again, quiet)

Lipo…

ELLE

BROOKE

ELLE

Brooke, you’re going to have to speak up, I can’t—

BROOKE

(bursts like a geyser)

LIPOSUCTION! MINIMALLY INVASIVE, OUTPATIENT LIPO, BUT LIPO!

(ELLE gasps.)

Oh, my God!

ELLE

PRISON GUARD

Ms. Wyndham, your time is up.

BROOKE

I had to do it.

Your secret’s safe with me.

ELLE

BROOKE

(screams as she’s being pulled out)

My fans are counting on me, I can’t let them down! You gotta take care of me, Elle! You swore.

(BROOKE’s gone. Just then, everyone returns, including CALLAHAN.)

EMMETT

Elle, there you are.

I got her alibi.

ELLE

CALLAHAN

You’re kidding. So. What is it?

ELLE

I’m afraid I can’t tell you.

CALLAHAN

Why not?

ELLE

I Double Delta Nu Sister Swore not to.

VIVIENNE

Elle, this is not some little sorority thing…

ELLE

Oh, I know. It’s a big sorority thing. But don’t worry: Brooke really had nothing to do with this. Think about it: Brooke’s a fitness queen. Exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t kill!

(CALLAHAN is seething.)

CALLAHAN

Emmett – a word.

(CALLAHAN drags EMMETT to the opposite side of the stage. Focus switches back to ELLE discussing with the INTERNS. CALLAHAN and EMMETT heatedly talk amongst themselves, unheard.)

VIVIENNE

Elle, if you don’t give up this alibi, we will ALL lose the case.

ELLE

Then I guess we’re not very good lawyers.

WARNER

Listen, Pooh Bear – Elle. Callahan wants that alibi.

ELLE

But I gave Brooke my word.

CALLAHAN

Emmett, let me be very clear. This is your chance, and I gave you simple instructions— Lead this legal team and get me an alibi. You’re zero for two.

(CALLAHAN and EMMETT approach the remaining INTERNS.)

Everyone, field trip’s over. Let’s go. Back to work.

(turning to EMMETT and ELLE)

Except you two. I’d rather not see “Ratty Corduroy” or “Legally Blonde” again today.

(EMMETT and ELLE are left alone.)

ELLE

Emmett, I’m sorry—

EMMETT

—I don’t need you to be sorry. I need you to tell me the alibi.

ELLE

I can’t because I gave Brooke my word. Having an alibi isn’t the only way to win this case.

EMMETT

No, but it sure would help.

ELLE

We’ll free Brooke the right way. The noble way.

EMMETT

This isn’t a Lifetime Original Movie, Elle. I’m not interested in nobility right now, I’m more interested in saving Brooke’s life.

ELLE

No you’re not. You’re more interested in impressing Callahan.

EMMETT

Well, he is my boss. And if I impress him he’ll make me associate.

ELLE

And jeopardize your client’s trust and our integrity?

EMMETT

Why do you always have to be right?

ELLE

I don’t have to be… when I’m with you, I just am.

(#23 – OFF TO THE SALON! begins. They exit.)

SCENE ELEVEN

(The Hair Affair. Where ELLE gets a manicure from PAULETTE.)

PAULETTE

There. Now you’re ready for your big trial. You sure you don’t want me to paint little gavels on ‘em for ya? When the jury people see those nails, they’ll know they can trust ya.

ELLE

Which is more than my team is doing. They’re all over me to give up Brooke’s alibi.

PAULETTE

Including your— (does air quotes) —“friend” Emmett?

ELLE

Paulette, he’s just my friend.

PAULETTE

Right. And I could use a friend like that.

(#24 – KYLE THE MAGNIFICENT (PART 1) begins. PAULETTE suddenly sees KYLE and is instantly mute.)

KYLE

I’ve got a package... For Miss Paulette Buonufonte. (PAULETTE goes limp at the sight of him, but manages to raise a weak hand. Her hand remains in the air as KYLE approaches.)

The name’s Kyle. This is my new route and the first stop of the day. Kinda cool karma, huh?

(ELLE grabs the stylus and signs for the package herself.) Alrighty, then. Do me a favor? You have yourself a super day.

(#25 – KYLE THE MAGNIFICENT (PART 2) begins. PAULETTE nods awkwardly as KYLE saunters out of the salon. KYLE’s theme music plays as he exits.)

ELLE

So talk to him already.

(ELLE hands stylus to PAULETTE.)

PAULETTE

Right. I can’t talk to guys like that. I’m not like you… I got nothing to offer.

AND SNAP

BEND AND SNAP

LEGALLY BLONDE

LEGALLY BLONDE REMIX (PART 1)

LEGALLY BLONDE REMIX (PART 2)

LEGALLY BLONDE REMIX (PART 3)

CALLAHAN

Only if she has a licensed attorney to supervise and without me, she does not.

EMMETT

Yes she does. I’m licensed, your honor. I’ll gladly supervise.

CALLAHAN

You work for me, remember?

EMMETT

No. I work for myself. (to CALLAHAN)

And I don’t have to hit on interns, Professor.

(ELLE turns to EMMETT, shocked. CALLAHAN exits.)

ELLE

Thank you, Emmett.

EMMETT

Did you think I was actually gonna let you just get away?

JUDGE

Uh – Ms. Woods? Any day now… You may proceed. (bangs the gavel) Call your first witness.

ELLE

We call Chutney Wyndham to the stand.

(# 35 – CHUTNEY WYNDHAM begins. CHUTNEY WYNDHAM, the victim’s daughter by a previous marriage, is sworn in. She has a total Michael Jackson ‘fro. SERENA and MARGOT gasp as they take in CHUTNEY’s hair.

SERENA

Omigod.

T.T.P.

Total Tragic Perm.

MARGOT

PILAR

ELLE

Miss Wyndham, what was your relationship to the deceased?

He was my father.

CHUTNEY

ELLE

Did you actually see his murder take place?

CHUTNEY

No… I was in the shower. But when I got out, Brooke was standing over my father’s body, drenched in his blood.

(The COURTROOM erupts with this revelation.)

ELLE

Miss Wyndham… On the day your father was killed, did you see anyone suspicious hanging around?

CHUTNEY (sarcastic)

Suspiciously hanging around my shower?

(The COURTROOM laughs at ELLE along with CHUTNEY.)

ELLE

No, before that.

I was out getting a perm.

CHUTNEY

ELLE

(still puzzled)

And then you came home and took a shower?

CHUTNEY (duh)

YES. I was in the shower.

ELLE

Thank you. Now, Ms. Wyndham, you claim on the day of the murder, you got a perm. Was this your first perm?

CHUTNEY

No. I’ve permed my hair since junior high, about three a year.

ELLE

Interesting. (comes up with an idea)

My associate has just gotten a perm herself today. Exhibit A: Ms. Enid Hoopes.

(ENID looks confused and then steps forward, her hair permed exactly like Chutney’s. PAULETTE fusses around her with a comb.)

(ELLE)

Now Ms. Wyndham, would Exhibit A’s perm be similar to your own?

CHUTNEY

Duh.

ELLE

And now, one more time, you didn’t see the murder or hear the gunshot because you were where?...

(The COURT groans, exasperated.)

ALL

In the shower!!!!

ELLE

Thank you. Now, Ms. Hoopes, would you dump this bucket of water onto your head?

(ENID is about to dump the water on her head.)

CHUTNEY

Idiot. You can’t get a perm wet for 48 hours—

ELLE

Exactly!

(#36 – SCENE OF THE CRIME (PART 1) begins with a chord.)

Water deactivates the perm’s ammonium thiglycolate and completely ruins it. (chord)

It’s the cardinal rule of perm maintenance. (chord)

Your perm is still intact so you couldn’t have showered that day. Why would you lie about being in the shower?

CHUTNEY

I was—

ELLE

Why would you lie about NOT hearing the gunshot?

CHUTNEY

But I—

SCENE OF THE CRIME (PART 2)

Words To Know from Legally Blonde JR.

carat – a unit of weight for precious gems

chum – chopped fish parts thrown overboard and used as bait to attract sharks

clientele – “clients” collectively; all of the the customers of a shop

cognizant – aware

commission – an amount of money, usually a percent of the retail price, paid to the salesperson as a reward for the sale

coup – a notable or successful strategic move

coup d’etat – a sudden, violent, and illegal overthrow of governmental power

fashion merchandising – a career that involves the promotion of clothing sales and all the tasks necessary to meet the needs of customers and designers

fatigue – loose-fitting clothing, often olive, khakki, or otherwise camouflaged in color, worn by soldiers

Fulbright – a highly competitive merit-based grant that a student can receive hallowed – respected, revered

insipid – lacking vigor or interest; boring ironic – happening the opposite way to what was expected

ivy league school – one of several colleges in the eastern United States that have high academic and social prestige; including Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, Dartmouth, Cornell, Brown, and the University of Pennsylvania.

karma – destiny or fate, based on one’s previous actions

liposuction – a cosmetic surgery for fat removal

LSAT – abbreviation for “Law School Admission Test”

Malibu – a resort community on the Pacific Coast of California, west of Los Angeles; home to many movie stars

mazel tov – a Jewish phrase expressing congratulations or wishing good luck

Milan – a city in northwestern Italy, recognized as one of the world’s most important fashion capitals due to its long history in the textile (fabric) industry

muse – the source of creative inspiration for another; based on the muses of Greek mythology, who were goddesses that inspired men to create in the arts and sciences

patriarchal – relating to a government or society controlled by men

peace corps – an organization sponsored by the United States government that sends young people to work as volunteers in developing countries

plea bargain – an arrangement between a prosecutor and a defendant in which the defendant pleads guilty to a lesser change in hopes of leniency

potstickers – filled Chinese dumplings, stuffed with meat and seared until golden brown

princess cut – a popular cut shape for diamonds, featuring a square face and a pyramid-shaped body

Riverdance – a theatrical show that uses traditional Irish step dancing.

rhodes scholar – a scholarship given by the University of Oxford in England to selected international students; widely considered the “world’s most prestigious scholarship”

Richard Simmons – fitness and weight loss icon of the 1980s, famous for his Sweatin’ to the Oldies videos and his eccentric personality

Roxbury – neighborhood in Boston

snaps – a word that expresses general excitement or dismay, depending on the way it is used

stylus – a writing implement used to input signatures on an electronic pad

Talbots – a women’s clothing store company known for their classy looks

tweedy – of a refined, upscale, or academic character

underdog – a competitor who is thought to have little chance of winning

valedictorian – a student who has the highest academic achievements of the class

glossary

actor: A person who performs as a character in a play or musical.

author: A writer of a play or musical, also known as a playwright. A musical’s authors include the book writer, a composer and a lyricist.

blocking: The actors’ movement in a play or musical, not including the choreography. The director usually assigns blocking during rehearsals.

book writer: One of the authors of a musical. The book writer writes the lines (dialogue) and the stage directions. Also called the librettist.

cast: The performers in a show.

cheating out: Turning oneself slightly toward the house when performing so the audience may better see one’s face and hear one’s lines.

choreographer: A person who creates and teaches the dance numbers in a musical.

composer: A person who writes music for a musical.

creative team: The author(s), director, choreographer, music director, and designers for a play or musical.

cross: When an actor onstage moves toward or away from another actor or object.

dialogue: A conversation between two or more characters.

director: A person who provides the artistic vision, coordinates the creative elements and stages the play.

downstage: The portion of the stage closest to the audience. The opposite of upstage.

house: The area of the theater where the audience sits to watch the show.

house left: The left side of the theater from the audience’s perspective. If something is located “house left,” it is to the left side of the audience as they are seated in the theater.

house right: The right side of the theater from the audience’s perspective. If something is located “house right,” it is to the right side of the audience as they are seated in the theater.

lines: The dialogue spoken by the actors.

lyricist: A person who writes the lyrics of a musical. The lyricist works with a composer to create songs.

lyrics: The words of a song.

monologue: A dramatic speech by one actor.

music director: A person who is in charge of teaching the songs to the cast and orchestra and maintaining the quality of the performed score.

musical: A play with songs that are used to tell a story.

off-book: The actor’s ability to perform his or her memorized lines without holding the script.

offstage: Any area out of view of the audience. Also called backstage.

onstage: Anything on the stage and within view of the audience is said to be onstage.

opening night: The first official performance of a production, after which the show is frozen, meaning no further changes are made, and reviews may be published.

play: A type of dramatic writing meant to be performed live on a stage. A musical is one kind of play.

protagonist: The main character in a musical. The action centers around this character.

raked stage: A stage which is raised slightly upstage so that it slants towards the audience.

rehearsal: A meeting during which the cast learns and practices the show.

script: 1) The written words that make up a show, including spoken words, stage directions and lyrics. 2) The book that contains those words.

speed-through: To speak through the dialogue of a scene as quickly as possible. A speed-through rehearsal helps actors memorize their lines, and it infuses energy into the pacing of a scene.

stage directions: Words in the script that describe the actions of the characters.

stage left: The left side of the stage, from the actor’s perspective. The same side of the theater as house right.

stage manager: A person who is responsible for keeping all rehearsals and performances on schedule.

stage right: The right side of the stage, from the actor’s perspective. The same side of the theater as house left.

upstage: The part of the stage furthest from the audience. The opposite of downstage.

warm-ups: Exercises at the beginning of a rehearsal or before a performance that prepare actors’ voices and bodies.

Actor’s Script Credits

Contributing Editors

Vichet Chum

Matt Hagmeier Curtis

Laura Jo Schuster

Rob Rokicki

Designers

Steven G. Kennedy

Kevin Johnson

Music Supervisor

Lindsay Weiner Lupi

Managing Editor

Susan Fuller

The Broadway Junior™ Concept and Format

Created by Music Theatre International (MTI)

Adaptation and support materials developed for MTI by iTheatrics under the supervision of Timothy Allen McDonald.

See MTI’s complete line of Broadway Junior Collection® musicals at: broadwayjr.com

MTI’s School Edition and full-length musicals may be found at: MTIShows.com