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Food flashback 2009

42

Looking for a New Year’s Eve party?

44

Sallie Ford and The Avett Brothers




DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com


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p. 10 The year in quotes What can you say about 2009? A lot, it turns out. This week, our annual roundup of the year that was, as reflected in the myriad voices that graced the pages of Mountain Xpress. Cover design by Kathy Wadham

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news 24 seasonal treasures The wonders of winter berries. 33 The year in Green scene A look back at headline-making environmental news.

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35 The year in Eats Our food writer’s roundup of the tastes of 2009

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arts&entertainment 42 what to do on new year’s eve Where to party like it’s (finally the end of) 2009

44 sallie ford forges ahead Asheville native opens for the Avett Brothers show

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DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

features 5 6 8 24 26 29 31 34 35 33 36 40 46 45 47 53 57 62 63

Letters Cartoon: Molton Commentary Outdoors Out and about in WNC Community Calendar FreeWill Astrology News of the Weird edgy mama Parenting from the edge Conscious party Benefits GREEN SCENE WNC eco-news Food The straight dish on local eats Small Bites Local food news Asheville Disclaimer smart bets What to do, who to see ClubLand cranky hanke Movie reviews Classifieds Cartoon: brent brown NY Times crossword

xpress info P.O. Box 144 • Asheville, NC 28802 (828) 251-1333 • fax (828) 251-1311 e-mail: xpress@mountainx.com www.mountainx.com

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COPYRIGHT 2009 by Mountain Xpress. Advertising copyright 2009 by Mountain Xpress. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Mountain Xpress is available free throughout Western North Carolina. Limit one copy per person. Additional copies may be purchased for $1.00 payable at the Xpress office in advance. No person may, without prior written permission of Xpress, take more than one copy of each issue. To subscribe to Mountain Xpress, send check or money order to: Subscription Department, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802. FIRST CLASS DELIVERY: One year (52 issues) - $115 Six months (26 issues) - $60. We accept Mastercard &Visa.


letters

Gift Certificates! Cyclists, take care; motorists, even more so

What inspired her about what inspired Tiger Woods Regarding your recent Xpress story about Tiger Woods and The Cliffs at High Carolina: I made this etching because, as we would drive by the “See what inspired me” billboards, my husband said that instead of the rolling mountains behind the image of Woods, he saw instead mountaintop removal and destruction. — Diane Strazzer Asheville

Send letters to: Letters to the Editor, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 or by e-mail to letters@mountainx.com. (Include name, address and phone number.)

xpress staff publisher & Editor: Jeff Fobes GENERAL MANAGER: Andy Sutcliffe senior editor: Peter Gregutt MANAGING editor: Jon Elliston A&E editor: Rebecca Sulock ASSOCIATE editor: Margaret Williams MULTimEDIA EDITOR: Jason Sandford Staff writers: David Forbes, Brian Postelle A&E REPORTER & Fashion editor: Alli Marshall editorial assistants: Hanna Rachel Raskin, Tracy Rose Staff photographer: Jonathan Welch Clubland editor & Writer: Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt contributing writers: Jonathan Barnard, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Ursula Gullow, Anne Fitten Glenn, Whitney Shroyer EDIToRIAL INTERN: Gabe Chess PHOTO INTERN: Joshua Cole Production & Design ManaGeR: Andrew Findley Advertising Production manager: Kathy Wadham Production & Design: Carrie Lare, Nathanael Roney calendar editor & supplements coordinator: Mannie Dalton

I drive. I bike. I walk. Bicycles are legally allowed on 99 percent of sidewalks. Pedestrians can cross streets at crosswalks against the light. Does this mean that a bike can act as a pedestrian and cross a street against a light, especially if there is no oncoming traffic? Legally, if the person is walking the bike, then yes. What’s the difference? Cars pass bikes most of the time. That’s okay. Why is it wrong for a bike to pass cars that are stopped? Also: Honking your horn at a bike actually increases the likelihood of the bike having an accident. Bicyclers visually perceive exactly what is on the road more acutely than motorists. We sometimes suddenly veer if we see glass, sand or other hazards. A gust of wind can blow a biker so that we have to struggle to keep control. That’s normal. I pay my city, county, state and federal taxes both because I own and operate a motor vehicle and because I pay property taxes, sales tax etc. Yes, I’ve seen too many bicyclists act rude, dangerous and indifferent. I’ve witnessed far more motorists misbehave much more frequently. A bicyclist who is dangerous puts their own life at risk. A driver who misbehaves risks committing murder. ... My conclusion is that it’ll take motorists murdering and injuring more bicyclists before we gain our rights to the road. The legal system and law enforcers are no help. (P.S. Fellow bikers, please wear white or reflective clothing and lights at night: I can’t see you if you’re dark.) — Andrew Weatherly Asheville

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A hat tip to secret Santas everywhere Movie reviewer & Coordinator: Ken Hanke Food editor: Hanna Rachel Raskin Advertising director: James Fisher advertising manager: John Varner retail Representatives: Russ Keith, Rick Goldstein, Leigh Reynolds, Scott Sessoms WEB MARKETING MANAGER: Marissa Williams Classified Representatives: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille Information Technologies Manager: Stefan Colosimo webmaster: Jason Shope web DEVELOPER: Patrick Conant Office manager & bookkeeper: Patty Levesque special projects: Sammy Cox ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters ADMINISTRATION ASSISTANT: Arenda Manning, distribution manager: Sammy Cox Assistant distribution manager: Jeff Tallman DIStribution: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young

“Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” — or, in my case, a secret Santa. On the morning of Sunday, Dec. 20, I tried to dig out my van (which was parallel parked on Page Avenue in downtown Asheville) from the foot-and-a-half of snow chunks pushed up by the snowplow. My only snow-removal tool was a board, which worked pretty well, but my back started to hurt and I gave up. A friend came by with her dog and we went for a walk. When we returned, I was surprised to see that someone had finished the job for me, apparently with a real shovel. What a wonderful gift! Later, a neighbor said she’d seen a tall skinny man shoveling here and there near our building (the Battery Park Apartments). Was he my secret Santa? Whoever it was: Thank you, kind person! And to everyone: Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness. They go a long way toward creating peace in our hearts, our communities and our weary world. Happy holidays! — Kathleen Crow Asheville

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For other Molton cartoons, check out our Web page at www.mountainx.com/cartoons

A vegetarian farmer for local animal agriculture I am a farmer of 25 acres with seven cows, a few goats and chickens. I am a vegetarian and plan to sell an older milk cow for meat this coming spring and bring sheep onto the farm as well. I take a strong interest in expanding the local food economy. In the debate for and against meat consumption, I take an approach based on the landscape and climate I observe in the Southern mountains: It’s very steep, universally forested and very rainy. A brief history: Commercial agriculture has always been marginal in Western North Carolina. Before anything local was marketable just by being local, tobacco was the farm’s cash crop. Before that, corn was, for a time, grown as a fattening fodder for the hordes of livestock driven through WNC from east Tennessee to Spartanburg. The result of plowing for corn and tobacco on steep hills in a climate of year-round rainfall caused a period of incredibly destructive soil erosion. On my farm, I walk past big gullies in the young forests every day and observe topsoil barely one-inch thick in parts of the pasture. With this in mind, I believe keeping steep farms in grass and, thus, in animal agriculture, is a good

option to mitigate erosion of steep land. Also, as a farmer without machinery, I appreciate the ease of raising animals compared to the hard labor of growing, weeding and harvesting crops. Unless more vegetarian people are interested in becoming intensive farmers and terracing hilly land to prevent soil erosion, I don’t imagine there will be or even should be a shift toward plowing hilly land for local crops. Though I am a vegetarian, I do not preach vegetarianism. I suppose that’s because I know people who really love their meat, and that demand for good meat is not going to decline. Bottom line: I believe local, grass-based animal agriculture is a plus for our climate and landscape and that feedlot farms are terribly destructive. But there is a question we might ask: Is there a line between big feedlot farms and local farms that import most their animal feed? Should I feel ill-at-ease feeding my livestock a little bit of distant grain? Probably, though I am happy that they derive most of their food (rotationally) grazing on seasonal grasses, clovers and pasture weeds that enrich the soil of my Appalachian hill farm. — James Geoffrey Steen Marshall

+EEP7INTER3OLVENTS!WAYFROM0ETS Winter weather can bring new hazards to pets. Antifreeze is extremely deadly for dogs and cats, and they will readily drink it because of its sweet taste. Antifreeze is changed in the body to crystals that destroy the kidneys. Just a tablespoon is more than enough to kill a cat! So keep bottles sealed and stored, and clean up any spills immediately. Pets will even eat the dirt that has been contaminated with antifreeze.



DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com


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Ban smoking in public parks for public health New state legislation allows local municipalities to have greater control over the smoking policies in their own communities. The city of Asheville has talked about acting to ban smoking in public parks, a policy that was formerly pre-empted by state law. This potential policy would help to protect the health of our youth and adults by keeping them safe from secondhand smoke while they’re enjoying themselves outside. Although many people think that outdoor smoke just dissipates, the heavy particles released from smoking fall to the ground in a mushroom shape once the smoke cools down a couple of seconds after it leaves the cigarette. This creates zones filled with toxic particles that are so prolific that it would take tornadostrength winds to fully remove them from the area. Exposure to secondhand smoke can have immediate effects like severe asthma attacks, headaches and nausea. It can also lead to severe health risks in the long term, including heart disease and cancer. On an environmental note, this policy would help to greatly reduce the amount of littered trash in our parks by removing cigarette butts — the No. 1 most littered item in the world — from parks. I would encourage the city of Asheville to enact a policy making all of our public parks and all public city property 100-percent smokefree, and I would also like to congratulate the

w i s h i n g y o u p e a c e, l o v e a n d j o y in the new year aUggU[Y˜ZUW]U`g˜bU]`g˜[]ZhWYfh]Z]WUhYg 8ckbhckb. Gcih\. )-<UmkccXGh" 6]`hacfYDUf_ HkcHckbGeiUfY6`jX" ,&,"&)'"'&&& ,&,"*,+",+*$ gYbg]V]`]h]Yg!gdU"Wca



DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

state legislature for taking such a big step forward in protecting the health of the public. — Ari Zitin Asheville

Save America: Mind our own business, not others’ I was just curious as to what has happened in this great country of ours. I remember those carefree days of my youth when the biggest thing you had to worry about was being home before dark. We were told to stay away from strangers. When we did something wrong we were punished, and yes, sometimes spanked or smacked. These were the common things of life when I was growing up. Now I can’t help but wonder what has happened to our way of life as Americans. These days people seem to be too busy worrying about what everyone else is doing, and not spending their time worrying about their own problems. Little Jimmy can’t say grace over his food for fear of offense, and little Sally can’t bless her food with whatever non-Christian belief she has, for fear of offense. Parents can’t spank or bathe their children for fear of being child abusers. … Then, of course, there’s been the latest fiasco about herbivores versus carnivores. My question is simple: Who cares? Why does it matter whether I eat meat or vegetables? I saw blame being cast for global warming; sorry, but I think we are responsible for that. Who cares if you eat transfats, smoke cigarettes or drink liquor? As long as you don’t start driving drunk, killing your fellow man or robbing the local grocer for that fatty deliciousness, I do not see how you are doing anything wrong. Furthermore, I really fail to see how it’s any of your business what I choose to eat or drink, how I raise my children, or what faith I believe. The time has come to start opening your eyes and looking at what we as a nation our doing to ourselves. We have stripped away our own moral fibers and we have started to worry more about what our fellow man is doing than we do about our own families. It’s time to stop worrying about everything everyone else is doing and start living our own lives again. — Josh Mallernee Asheville

Another military-industrial president in progressive garb The best possible spin on Obama’s plan to kill

thousands of ... Afghans is that he’s a captive of our military-industrial complex. It may be political — and maybe personal — suicide to oppose the complex. The worst spin is that Obama believes that killing, maiming and impoverishing more people will create a friendlier Afghanistan. And that he’s following Dick Cheney’s scheme to establish American hegemony in many Middle Eastern countries, so that we can preserve our oil-based, ecology-killing, fast economic growth. Regardless, Obama should know that any American-backed solution to Afghanistan’s agony will be quickly demolished, should we ever withdraw our troops from there. Most Afghans hate us for the horrendous destruction and suffering we’ve inflicted upon their land. Our thousands of bunkerbusting smart bombs, heartless predator drones and door-smashing house invasions have created a public-relations situation similar to the story told in Apocalypse Now, in which Americans inoculated a Vietnamese tribe against some disease but the villagers then cut off their arms. Those Afghans who smile for our cameras are doing so because we have our awesome arsenal pointed at their heads. The sad truth is that we progressives who voted for Obama with fervent hope in our hearts actually voted for what in practice has become the latest disguise of the military-industrial complex. He is their black camouflage. And if you believe Obama’s withdrawal promises, I have some bundled, subprime mortgages to sell you. Perhaps what’s left for progressives is to stage yet another march on Washington and try to symbolically wash our hands of Obama’s bloodthirsty policies. But for whom should we vote in 2012? Nader? Which means the Republicans might win and invade Iran, or worse. Maybe it’s impossible to restrain our corporate/Pentagon overlords. But we might as well keep working at it because it’s the only meaningful politics around. — Bill Branyon Asheville

Talking peace, preparing for war The juxtaposition of President Obama’s receiving a Nobel Prize for peace and his decision to continue the war in Afghanistan and send 30,000 more troops there brought to my mind one of Berthold Brecht’s searing statements: “When the generals talk peace, they are preparing for war.” — Eileen Walkenstein Asheville


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news A lot to say … The year in quotes from Mountain Xpress articles, commentaries and online posts For Western North Carolina, 2009 showed no shortage of challenges and feats, setbacks and advancements, wins and losses. Like the rest of the nation, we struggled with a dismal economy, even as some old and new businesses managed to keep their heads above water. We withstood droughts, deluges and the biggest snowstorm in years. We (some of us, anyway) debated municipal-government candidates and went to the polls to choose new slates of local leaders. We even managed to carve out some carefree times, basking in the area’s rich cultural offerings. Through it all, Mountain Xpress was there, chronicling local news, views and entertainments — often in the words of the participants and observers at the heart of the story. Here, then, is a selection of the myriad voices that graced our pages, in print and online, over the past 12 months. “While the economy may have stalled the aspirations of certain developers and business people to turn Asheville into another Charlotte or Atlanta, don’t think for a moment that they don’t still envision Asheville as a mountainous cash cow.” — Jesse Junior, “A Time to Reflect,” Jan. 7 “Asheville has experienced this sort of Sovietstyle central planning before.” — Asheville resident Steve Rasmussen, quoted in “Development Activist Blasts Downtown Master Plan Problems,” Jan. 14 “I think the recession we are looking at is different from the last two recessions. It’s going to be longer, and it’s going to be more severe.” — City of Asheville Chief Financial Officer Ben Durant, quoted in “Beating a Retreat,” Jan. 14 “We actually have stronger regulations for basic municipal trash [landfills] than for coalash combustible waste products.” — Chandra Taylor, an attorney with the North Carolina office of the Southern Environmental Law Center, talking about the December 2008 toxic spill of 1 billion gallons of sludge near Knoxville, Tenn., quoted in “One Lump or Two?” Jan. 14 “Some of the people I consider my constituents consider me a sellout just for being here. [But] at this point, my position is to stand by this plan. There is enough common ground to move this thing forward.” — Kitty Love, quoted in “Selling the Downtown Master Plan” on mountainx.com, Jan. 16

10 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

“Do you want to look back someday and wish you’d listened to the person with the paper pitchfork when someone with a real one is after you?” — Barnardsville resident Kathy Lack speaking against county spending, quoted in “Buncombe Commissioners,” March 11. Pictured here is Eric Gorny, who donned Braveheart attire for the occasion. photo by jonathan welch

“More people are asking what we do. … You grind coal, you burn coal, you make heat, you turn turbines: You get electricity.” — Progress Energy’s Asheville Plant Manager Garry Whisnant, during a tour of the Lake Julian facility less than a month after a catastrophic spill of 1 billion gallons of coal-ash sludge at a TVA power plant near Knoxville, Tenn., quoted in “Coal Ash: A Pond Farewell,” Jan. 21 “I decided I was pissed off about how we got from my grandfather’s generation and all the real American values he stood for — that generation fought a noble war — to the gen-

eration of George Bush.” — Author John Jeeter on why he wrote The Plunder Room, quoted in “Family Jewels,” Jan. 21 “The nature of the material that we work with in the Fringe — [such as] nudity, raw language, bizarre conceptual things — it is an adult experience.” — Asheville Fringe Festival organizer Jim Julien, quoted in “Cabaret of the Weird,” Jan. 21 “I was mostly interested in her parking lot. Ann Dunn told me, ‘You have to buy the building if you want the parking lot.’ So I did.” — Steve Wilmans, owner of Echo Mountain Studios, about buying the former Fletcher School


Xpress online’s biggest hits of 2009 by Jason Sandford While Mountain Xpress continues to pump out our weekly print edition, we also put plenty of time and energy into our virtual presence on the Web. One fun aspect of the online world is the ability to track the number of comments and views we receive on what we post. Here’s a quick look at the online popularity of Xpress’ 2009 stories, blog posts, photos and more. Most viewed news articles: There’s nothing like imagining what the apocalypse might look like when it comes to getting people’s attention. That’s exactly what Montreat College history professor Bill Forstchen did in his novel One Second After, published in the spring of 2009. Specifically, Forstchen writes about what life might be like in the town of Black Mountain in the aftermath of a high-altitude electromagnetic-pulse attack. “Apocalypse WNC,” Managing Editor Jon Elliston’s story about the book, its author and its attempt to raise awareness about the possibility of such an assault was the year’s most-viewed Xpress news story online. Claiming the No. 2 spot was “Whose TV?” — reporter David Forbes’ February story concerning controversy at URTV, Asheville’s public-access channel. The article examined internal disputes that went public and kicked off a yearlong series of stories chronicling the fight and its impact on the station. The third-most-read Xpress news story online was Forbes’ account of an Asheville man arrested and accused of kidnapping and brutally assaulting a prostitute. “Complete Mayhem” chronicled the case of 31-year-old carpenter Lewis Kyle Wilson, who was named a “person of interest” by police in an unsolved 2006 murder. Most-viewed arts & entertainment articles: When it comes to having fun, there’s nothing like the prom. “Corsage and Limo Not Required,” staff writer Alli Marshall’s compilation of Xpress readers’ prom memories (both good and bad), captured that spirit en route to becoming A&E’s top online hit this year. The story was pegged to the Prom! party at the Grey Eagle in November, which featured local bands Reigning Sound and Floating Action, a disco ball and the best in thrift-store formal wear. Xpress contributor Jake Frankel scored A&E’s second-mostviewed story online with “Phish Phans Rejoice,” which rounded up fans of the jam band in advance of its summer reunion show at the Asheville Civic Center. The band’s decision to play Asheville triggered a frenzy of fans lining up to get tickets, and the day of the show itself, Phish loyalists literally took over one downtown street. “Building an Echo Mountain Empire?” by regular contributor Anne Fitten Glenn ranked as A&E’s third-most-viewed story online. The story chronicled the creation of an entertainment empire in downtown Asheville, checking in with Echo Mountain Studio owner Steve Wilmans. The recording studio launched a major expansion in 2009, even as Wilmans and partner Mike Healy continued work on transforming an old Lexington Avenue building into a new craft brewery, restaurant, music venue and hostel. Most-viewed news blog posts: Xpress covers a lot of territory with its online blog posts at our home page, mountainx.com, including columns, reviews, news and arts-and-entertainment tidbits. Among news blog posts, the top hit was David Forbes’ story detailing how former Asheville firefighter Charles Alexander Diez pleaded guilty to shooting at bicyclist Alan Simons and received a four-month jail sentence. The whole episode sparked considerable controversy, particularly in Asheville’s cycling community, where some felt that Diez had received overly lenient treatment.

A holiday edition of Brews News, a relatively new feature on the Xpress Web site, captured the No. 2 spot. Compiled by Anne Fitten Glenn, the collection of updates tracks Buncombe County’s bubbling craft-beer scene. The popular Dec. 9 edition included everything from a note about Highland Brewing Co.’s 15th anniversary celebration to tips on how to properly store your beer. Claiming third place was Mountain Xpress’ “Twitter Manifesto,” published on April 1 (April Fools’ Day): the same day we turned over its Web site to news tweeted by the public. In the manifesto, Xpress Publisher Jeff Fobes explained the thinking: “In that same amount of time, we could be tweeting and aggregating our way to a whole new vision of community and even, perhaps, of dialogue itself. And thanks to Twitter’s technologically enforced brevity, it will almost be a ‘conversation without words.’” The “Twaper” was a ruse, of course, but it did highlight Xpress’ growing interest in using social-media tools and continued focus on expanding collaborations with readers. Most-viewed A&E blog posts: Bele Chere is Asheville’s biggest street party each year, and news about the event’s musical guests is always closely watched. The music is free, and Alli Marshall’s May roundup of who was slated to play came in as the mostlooked-at A&E blog entry. Second was A&E Editor Rebecca Sulock’s update on the disappointed Phish fans who couldn’t get tickets for the Asheville Civic Center show. About 200 fans had lined up — many camping out for more than a day — but the tickets sold out in seconds, and only about 20 of the folks in line were able to score tickets for the big reunion show. An error in the Ticketmaster system apparently allowed the release of 400 tickets that were supposed to be held back for the venue to sell. Anne Fitten Glenn, who also writes Edgy Mama, Xpress’ weekly parenting column, had a third-place hit with her column about vehicles around town sporting stick family stickers. Musing about their allure, she talked to a company spokesman about how the stickers became so popular. Most-viewed Blogwire post: In mid-2009, Xpress launched Blogwire, a local-news aggregator powered mostly by staff. The feature allows any area resident to sign on as a contributor, and we continue to encourage more folks to participate. The most-viewed Blogwire post was “New restaurant, Chai Pani, opens with customers out the door,” (1,490 hits); “81 new NC laws take effect today: Here’s the list,” (1,296); and “16,000 organic laying hens available to good homes,” (1,254). Comments and Forums: Here’s a quick look at the alwaysentertaining and provocative world of the Xpress Forums, a virtual cauldron of comment and debate. • Most new forum threads: Forums administrator Steve Shanafelt (400); santeh-piff (300); richey (168). • Most article comments: Xpress movie reviewer Ken Hanke (2,164); santeh-piff (1,372); entopticon (905). • Forum threads that received the most replies: Asheville Topix Forum Watch (379); MountainX Forums Radio-AKA “Music to Board To” (295); and “Global warming no more” (294). • Most-viewed forum threads: Rap thread (283); Asheville Topix Forum Watch (379); Expanded anti-grafitti efforts stirring in Asheville (11,532). • Most-viewed photo galleries: POPAsheville 2009 (47,325); Asheville celebrates the inauguration (41,478); Asheville-area weddings (34,012). X Contact Jason Sandford at jsandford@mountainx.com, or 251-1333, ext. 115

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FRI., JAN.15 LECTURE 7:30PM - 9PM Dr. Bud Harris, Jungian analyst and author, will explore our heart’s longings and how to use them as a transformational spiritual force. He’ll also discuss how being unaware of your greatest wishes can create hollow lives, false selves, addictions, and illnesses. This knowledge challenges both individuals and religious institutions to create whole new lives.

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in his photo essay, “Faith in Focus,” Jan. 28 “For the acrobalance act, Sparrow lies on her back with her feet up at a 90-degree angle and Sayde balances on top of them, then starts flipping around in the air. Next, sitting upright, as if on a human barstool, Sayde starts playing the banjo, and Sparrow picks up the viola. They perform a catchy song called ‘Hot Dog,’ about the positive effects of eating a hot dog every day.” — From “SoundTrack,” Jan. 28 Shop Online: Silverarmadillo.com

“I guess the titles The Uninspired and The Uninvolving were considered too honest, but they would’ve certainly provided a more accurate description of The Guard Brothers’ The Uninvited.” — Ken Hanke reviewing The Univited, Feb. 4 “From my vantage point, I don’t feel like [Asheville] is moving away from roots music. If we’re a flower, we have a strong root and always will. But now there are other parts to that plant.” — Indie rocker Stephanie Morgan, quoted in “Next We’re Movin’ On,” Feb. 4

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“My whole thing is, just because you are in a wheelchair, that doesn’t mean you can’t live life to the fullest. There are a lot of individuals with disabilities who kind of let life pass them by. I let people know: ‘There is life out there, and it is for you to enjoy. Take opportunities whenever they come to you.’” — Miss Wheelchair North Carolina Brandee Ponder of Asheville, quoted in ASKville, Feb. 11 “What we’re trying to do is address structural and operational issues as we see them. It’s freedom for volunteers, within guidelines.” — WPVM volunteer Edwin Shealy speaking to the board of the Mountain

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“His name was Matt Lauer. He was nice. He just was a normal person, basically, except for he’s on TV every day.” — 8-year-old Wild Freeborn, who made national news for her use of social networking to sell Girl Scout cookies, describing her interviewer on NBC’s Today show, quoted in ASKville, March 25 photo by jason sandford

of Dance building and renovating it as a second recording studio, quoted in “Building an Echo Mountain Empire?” Jan. 21 “Watching a Sam Mendes film is like sitting in a room while all the air is being sucked out. His latest bout of Oscar-bait, Revolutionary Road, is no different. It’s one of those somber melodramas that only venture outside during awards season.” — Ken Hanke reviewing Revolutionary Road, Jan. 21 “This city has a sorry history of destroying African-American neighborhoods in the name of progress. Lutovsky and Executive Director Kelly Miller of the Chamber are perfectly willing to bulldoze another predominantly black neighborhood to suit themselves.” — Asheville City Council candidate Cecil Bothwell, quoted in “Protest Planned at I-26 Debate” on mountainx.com, Jan. 27 “[The end result is] always a million times more magnificent than our wildest dreams.” — Artist Jeanne-Claude, quoted in “Larger Than Life,” Jan. 28 “This is truly a wide and disparate movement made up of people from varied and diverse backgrounds. From children too young to walk, to teenagers, families and retirees, to bikers, cowboys, teenyboppers and everyone in between, this movement accepts and has something for everyone who believes.” — Photographer Scott Lessing, discussing the evangelical movement featured

12 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

“For a long time, I felt like Afrobeat was a dirty, raw, underground type of music. But lately I’ve been wanting get into happy sounds, like the kind of music you’d hear if you were outside at a party.” — The Afromotive’s Ryan Knowles, quoted in “Going to Their Happy Place,” April 1 photo by jonathan welch


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In addition to a Certificate of Achievement 675-hour Massage Therapy Certification Program, each graduate receives a Certificate of Completion to document their 100 hours of yoga asana, pranayama, and meditation practices for use in their massage practice. “There is no trust; there is no faith; there is no transparency. This continues to spread.” — Mills Gap Road area resident Aaron Penland (pictured at right) on the cleanup of the contaminated former CTS of Asheville site, quoted in “No Trust,” Oct. 14 photo by jonathan welch

Area Information Network, which holds the license to the low-power FM radio station in downtown Asheville, quoted in “WPVM Volunteers Present Station Management Plan,” Feb. 11 “Serena struck me as one of these characters who has an odd integrity. She has an idea she’s very loyal to, at the cost of her humanity.” — Author Ron Rash, quoted in “When the Bough Breaks,” Feb. 18 “The recent 18 months brought in a leadership style that is termed ‘corporate’ and has made some staff and faculty uncomfortable with changes. The perception at the college is the ‘idea/implement/buy-in’ model rather than ‘idea/buy in/implement’; college personnel express a feeling of isolation and disconnect with new college initiatives. Pervasive across the college is the perception that every idea has to be implemented — a ‘hurry up and do it’ mindset.” — Sam Dosumu of A-B Tech, quoted in “Campus Remains Unsettled in Wake of President’s Announced Resignation” on mountainx.com, Feb. 20

‘You kidding me?’” — Singer/songwriter Michael Franti, quoted in “The Rebel Rocker Yogi,” Feb. 25 “Gird yourselves, because the news is not getting any better.” — N.C. Rep. Ray Rapp, quoted in “Legislators Paint Grim Picture at Commerce Luncheon,” Feb. 25

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“All I want is an apology from Denny’s. ... Denny’s management are making it sound like I was standing on the table doing a striptease.” — Crystal Everitt after being asked to leave the Denny’s on Patton Avenue for publicly breast-feeding her child, quoted in Edgy Mama, Feb. 25 “My great-grandfather was the Johnny Thunders of the sitar.” — Musician King Khan, quoted in “King Khan and the Shrines,” March 4 “It is my pleasure to call these people names. I just wish I could be more colorful.” — Council member Carl Mumpower on the city’s loss of a lawsuit challenging the Sullivan Acts, quoted in “Asheville City Council,” March 4

“If they aren’t going to produce, we don’t want them back. URTV is looking for people that can and will produce. That is our product, not coddling members.” — URTV Secretary Ralph Roberts on assertions that the station’s management was alienating members, quoted in “Whose TV?” Feb. 25

“I’ve devoted my life to it and I love it, but when I left New York, I was like, ‘I don’t want to play music. It’s not going to be the focus anymore.’” — Electric Owls singer/songwriter Andy Herod, quoted in “Everything Turns Out Nothing Like the Plan,” March 11

“Warren Haynes came up to me and he says ... ‘Mickey Raphael, who plays harmonica with Willie Nelson, would like to sit in.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, yeah, of course, that’d be awesome.’ And then he said, ‘And John Paul Jones from Led Zeppelin, would you mind if he played on a song?’ My mouth hit the floor, and I was like,

“Do you want to look back someday and wish you’d listened to the person with the paper pitchfork when someone with a real one is after you?” — Barnardsville resident Kathy Lack speaking out against county spending, quoted in “Buncombe Commissioners,” March 11

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 13


— Xpress staff writer David Forbes on the late Marvin “Popcorn” Sutton, writing in Bar Beat, March 25 “I say anything that makes people feel better — as long as they’re not hurting anybody or a cow or, you know, doing anything that can’t be put on the YouTube — then that’s fine.” — Performance artist and Tupperware saleswoman Dixie Longate, quoted in “Trip the Plastic Fantastic,” March 25 “Mountain Xpress … took a remarkable step on Wednesday, ending its 14-year run as a print publication (today’s issue is our last), suspending its regular online news reports and converting its entire news operation to Twitter dispatches from staff and trusted community journalists.” — The intro to the world’s first “Twaper,” or all-Twitter newspaper, an April Fools’ Day caper staged by Xpress on mountainx.com, April 1 “This wasn’t just a joke — it was an experiment to see what would happen if we put all of our energy into making a Twitter paper, if only for a day. And I feel sure we will come away with things we learned and take our publication to a new level.” — Xpress Publisher Jeff Fobes on the Twaper caper, quoted in “April Fools! But the Twitter-powered Newspaper is More Than a Joke,” mountainx.com, April 1 “For a long time, I felt like Afrobeat was a dirty, raw, underground type of music. But lately I’ve been wanting get into happy sounds, like the

“My hope is that you’ll read my nightmare — and let’s make sure it never happens.” — Black Mountain-based author Bill Forstchen on his novel, One Second After, which speculates on the apocalyptic effects of an electromagnetic-pulse attack, quoted in “Apocalypse WNC,” July 8 photo by jonathan welch

“Pimento cheese — also known as PC, Carolina caviar and Southern paté — is a truly Southern food. Those of us who grew up here can’t imagine a church picnic, afternoon tea, political rally or lunch-counter menu without sandwiches loaded with the mixture of grated cheese, mayonnaise and sweet peppers.” — Anne Fitten Glenn, “Pimento Cheese, Please,” March 11 “Why Asheville Street Style? Well, like many larger cities — New York, Paris, Tokyo and Helsinki — Asheville has its own flavor, a hard-topin-down and equally hard-to-deny artistic essence that comes out in residents free-spirited apparel.” — Xpress arts and fashion writer Alli Marshall, “You Wear it Well,” March 18 “His name was Matt Lauer. He was nice. He just was a normal person, basically, except for he’s on TV every day.” — 8-year-old Wild Freeborn, who made national news for her use of social networking to sell Girl Scout cookies, describing her interviewer on NBC’s Today show, quoted in ASKville, March 25 “It was a tragic end to the life of a man regarded by many as the quintessential mountain moonshiner. Famous for the quality and inventiveness of his wares, along with his unmistakable personal style (overalls, hat and a beard of mythical proportions), Sutton seemed the last of a dying breed.”

14 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

“Speaking of fun, the best way to get into the spirit of LAAFF is to come in costume. Yeah, Asheville is pretty open to all manner of dress.” — Alli Marshall, writing in “LAAFFing All the Way to the Weird,” Sept. 2 photo by jason sandford


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kind of music you’d hear if you were outside at a party.” — The Afromotive’s Ryan Knowles, quoted in “Going to Their Happy Place,” April 1 “The decision was reinforced by going in and seeing the condition of the store. It didn’t have the feel of anything except something that was going away.” — Bledsoe Building co-owner Lewis Lankford, quoted in “West Asheville Co-op Faces Eviction, Calls Community Meeting” on mountainx.com, April 6 “I don’t feel like I wrote this book to endorse mindless consumerism. But the reality is, people need clothes, or people want a dishwasher. It’s important for really good green choices to be available where people are shopping anyway.” — Josh Dorfan, The Lazy Environmentalist, quoted in “Saving Green by Going Green,” April 8 “What I can do, and what I will do, is walk out of the room. This is absolutely reprehensible.” — Council member Carl Mumpower, quoted in “Mumpower Storms Out of Council Meeting in Protest of Water Vote” on mountainx.com, April 15 “How long can you hold your breath?” — Environmental scientist Meng-Dawn Cheng, talking about the importance of air quality, quoted in “What Does Earth Day Mean to You?” April 15 “You’ve probably noticed how indie rock has grown a thick, burly beard. Coked-up art students who were ripping off new wave and post-punk at the turn of the century are nowadays smoking grass, scooting about in handcrafted Santee moccasins and basically reliving

the early 1970s. A lot of these characters dress like total fruit cups, yet some of them make great music.” — From “Hippies, Indie Rock and Moccasins,” April 15

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“I’m just glad to be working and times are hard, so it’s a blessing and a miracle that they got this old hillbilly on one side of the water and the other.” — Singer/songwriter Malcolm Holcombe, quoted in “Pass It Around Like Corn Bread and Beans,” April 29 “This is by far the toughest budget I’ve dealt with. I’ve never seen [sales-tax revenues] decline that significantly.” — City of Asheville Chief Financial Officer Ben Durant, quoted in “Nips and Tucks,” April 29 “As those in the know press in toward the stage, a bachelorette party from S.C. pays its tab and exits behind the leader of the pack, rhinestone tiara and all. (Just because Mind vs. Target is more accessible than the musical ranting and raving of Ahleuchatistas doesn’t mean they are accessible in any mainstream sense.)” — From “SoundTrack: Mind vs. Target Scores a Direct Hit,” May 6 “People spend a lot more money trying to find villains than create heroes. Compare the amount they put into chasing people down and locking them up to the amount they put into building up communities. The way this country treats low-wealth minorities is f**ked up, and that’s never really addressed: They keep doing Band-Aids.” — At-risk-youth educator DeWayne Barton, quoted in “Putting in Work,” May 6

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“I’d say the movie’s about 50 percent beer, 30 percent road trip — and whatever’s left, it’s rock ’n’ roll.” — Beer Y’all filmmaker Curt Arledge, quoted in “Mountains to Sea, North Carolina Brew Stars in Locally Made Road-Trip Documentary,” May 20 “By putting out these devices, we hope to invite the Chucky madtom to come in.” — U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service biologist Mark Cantrell, quoted in “Arden Pottery Maker Helps Track Rare Catfish,” May 27 “Seth Kauffman better watch out the next time he plays in New York: If Wes Anderson sees him, he just might lock him up in his basement and force Kauffman to write the soundtracks to his movies for the rest of eternity.” — From “The Soul of Motown, the Grit of ’60s Rock ’n’ Roll and a Modern Pop Sensibility,” May 27 “We’re the best fortunetellers out there.” — State Climatologist Ryan Boyles, quoted in “From Drought to Floods: Welcome to WNC,” June 3 “I used to go to every possible show I could go to, no matter what the cost, in all realms of cost. I would just do it. It was one of the most important things to me at that time. Honestly, I wouldn’t exchange those experiences for the world. I feel like it made me the person I am today.” — Phish fan Amber Stoner, quoted in “Phish Phans Rejoice,” June 3

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“You can always go to a brewery and find a new beer you’ve never heard of. Asheville has a lot of room for growth.” — Julie Atallah on the local craft-beer scene after Asheville tied with Portland for the title of Beer City USA in an online poll, quoted in “Drop by Drop,” June 24 photo by jonathan welch

“My barbaric chi moved me when my wilderness grown in depth of me.” — Ghost frontman Masaki Batoh (via the Babel Fish translation program), quoted in “The Important Thing is the Spirit,” May 6 “We’re a progressive community, and that’s the thing to do right now, so we’re going to keep chickens.” — Vice Mayor Jan Davis on a law allowing chicken coops within the city limits, quoted in “Chicken Coop for the Soul,” May 6 “We’re trying to cultivate the creative class from the bottom up. I think it’s our future.” — Sam Neill of AdvantageWest on the first year of the HATCH Asheville festival, quoted in “HATCH Asheville Revisited,” May 13 “The people will rally around and come together. We’ve had to struggle for everything we’ve gotten.” — Burton Street neighborhood resident Vivian Conley, quoted in “Banding Together,” May 20 “It’s not necessarily about doing something illegal, but [about] anything that tests the authority of those in power.” — Canary Coalition Executive Director Avram Friedman, who was arrested with other protesters at a Charlotte rally aimed at stopping Duke Energy’s Cliffside plant, quoted in “Rallying to Fight Climate Change,” May 20

16 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

“Their courage and wisdom are the reason we have the enduring legacy of the Cherokee people, which is to face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.” — Chad Smith, principal chief of the Cherokee nation, on the tribe’s leaders who convened at Red Clay State Park in Cleveland, Tenn., in the 1830s, quoted in “A Family Affair,” April 29 photo by jonathan welch


“How historic was last night’s Beastie Boys show at The Orange Peel? It was historic enough for Mike D to note its significance and pepper the audience with lots of Asheville love and some hammy remarks: ‘I wanna know if Ashe-land is ready to dance!’ Oh, and how Ashe-land was ready to dance.” — Xpress Arts and Entertainment Editor Rebecca Sulock, “Now They Rock a House Party at the Drop of a Hat,” mountainx.com, June 11 photo by jason sandford

“Rock ’n’ roll was meant to be smoky. North Carolina banning smoking is like a child disowning their parent after they supported them for years.” — Asheville resident Mark Williams, quoted in “Smoked Out,” June 3 “Chefs are naturally divided into two types: those who care little about their customers and those who strive to serve them. The former chefs are imaginative but willful. The latter tend to have an easier time finding work. Hayes is a consummate example of the second type: ‘I just want to give people what they want,’ he told me. ‘It’s not about what I want.’” — Xpress food writer Hanna Rachel Raskin on Red Stag Grill chef Adam Hayes, quoted in a review of the restaurant, June 3 “I like cryptic stuff. I’ve always gravitated toward the obscure. And it’s not just the obscurity of it I like — it’s what makes it great but still obscure. I don’t think you lose the spirit of what makes rock ’n’ roll good when you stay obscure.” — Outsider musician Don Howland, quoted in “It Tastes Like a Mixture of Good Living and Dying,” June 3 “We walked by him completely shredding on a bass, and we were like, ‘OK, that’s it.’ And then we stole Tyler as well.” — Band of Horses frontman Ben Bridwell on meeting Asheville’s Bill Reynolds and Tyler Ramsey, quoted in “On the High Horse,” June 10 “I told my students yesterday, because they have a right to know what’s happening in their education. And they were heartbroken.”

— A.C. Reynolds theater teacher Kirstin Daniel on Buncombe County teacher layoffs due to state education cuts, quoted in “Laid Off or Fired Up?” June 10

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“How historic was last night’s Beastie Boys show at The Orange Peel? It was historic enough for Mike D to note its significance and pepper the audience with lots of Asheville love and some hammy remarks: ‘I wanna know if Ashe-land is ready to dance!’ Oh, and how Ashe-land was ready to dance.” — Xpress Arts and Entertainment Editor Rebecca Sulock, “Now They Rock a House Party at the Drop of a Hat,” mountainx.com, June 11 “Estate sales mean somebody died (or at least went to The Home). ‘Estate sale’ is overtaking ‘moving sale’ as the most abused word in the yard-sale lexicon, with ‘multifamily’ running a distant third. The next time I see modern baby clothes, toys and furniture at an ‘estate sale,’ I am asking how the baby died.” — From “Junker’s Blues; Memo to the Yard-Salers of Asheville,” June 17 “Obviously, the feasibility and technical aspects of having tigers roaming free is going to be difficult.” — Asheville mayoral candidate Shad Marsh on his main campaign platform plank, quoted in “A Candidate of a Different Stripe,” June 24 “You can always go to a brewery and find a new beer you’ve never heard of. Asheville has a lot of room for growth.” — Julie Atallah on the local craft-beer scene after Asheville tied with Portland for the title of Beer City USA in an online poll, quoted in “Drop by Drop,” June 24

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 17


there on his porch, and he’s got some tattoo of a chick on a horse on his back. He’s just new, and at least now we know if he’s a boxers or briefs guy. Briefs.” — Singer/songwriter Todd Snider, quoted in “I Have Learned Nothing,” July 15 “It was the hub of a very special time in Asheville, or the Southeast, for that matter. You never asked what the bands sounded like. You just would go there to see a show, because it was always entertaining and most of the time great.” — Mathmatics drummer Dougal Bailey, quoted in “Talking ’Bout My Degeneration,” July 22 “This is the first time since the beginning of this process, three Councils ago, that real capital dollars will be allocated to that building. The roof we had to do: It’s not a sexy thing, but it is a necessity.” — Vice Mayor Jan Davis on replacing the Civic Center roof, quoted in “Put a Lid On It,” July 22 “Once he got on the phone [and] assessed tag information through our criminal-justice systems, he was acting as a police officer. He should have been communicating in a professional manner, which he did not. We are taking action that will involve corrective training; it will involve a written reprimand that will result in days of suspension without pay.” — Buncombe County Sheriff Van Duncan, quoted in “Sheriff Will Suspend Deputy Accused in Road Rage Incident,” mountainx.com, Aug. 3 photo by jonathan welch

“I’m not as much of a jerk as I make myself out to be. ... Maybe I’m worse.” — Essayist David Sedaris, quoted in “Sneer Campaign,” June 24 “If you’re not a supporter of transparency and open-meeting laws, vote me off. If you see no fault in URTV’s staff not wanting our meetings filmed, then vote me off.” — URTV board member Richard Bernier, quoted in “URTV Removes Board Member,” June 24 “A week later, Floating Action brought the same energy to a house show/cookout: Hipsters dropped their hot dogs to shake it in the halls, the living room and in line for the bathroom. Right in the middle of ‘Don’t Stop Lovin’ Me Now,’ the police suggested that the music was too loud, saying neighbors (presumably those lacking in musical appreciation) were complaining.” — From “Floating Action: Must Start Loving Them Now,” June 24 “I don’t care what you call it: We have to do something so that the power of the federal government comes to bear. The president has informed us that he would like a bill by October.” — Sen. Kay Hagan, quoted in “Sen. Hagan Visits Local Leaders, Pitches Health Care Reform” on mountainx.com, June 27 “My dad ran a pharmacy, and these old men would come into the pharmacy. They’d always sing songs and be crazy. They really helped me learn how to play.” — Singer/songwriter Cary Fridley, quoted in “Singing in the Shower,” July 8

“When you arrest a prostitute 44 times, handcuff them and send them to jail and nothing happens, to me there should be some sort of red flag.” — APD Chief Bill Hogan on the nuisance court established this year, quoted in “Making It Personal,” July 8 “My hope is that you’ll read my nightmare — and let’s make sure it never happens.” — Black Mountain-based author Bill Forstchen on his novel, One Second After, which speculates on the apocalyptic effects of an electromagnetic-pulse attack, quoted in “Apocalypse WNC,” July 8

“[The roof project] is our sustainable playground, in which a variety of classes will be able to explore everything from appropriate energy alternatives, green building, sustainable landscape design and more.” — Carpentry/construction management instructor Heath Moody, quoted in “A-B Tech Embraces Sustainability,” July 22 “In addition to the usual perils of the educational experience — insane guidance counselors, sadistic assistant principals and megalomaniacal class poets — Robert is also caught up in the surreal world of being in love for the first time as he falls for a seemingly out-of-reach dark-haired girl.” — Producer Chall Gay, quoted in “A Shopping

Cart, a Banjo and a Dream: Local Playwright Gets into the New York International Fringe Festival,” July 29 “If you really think about it, downtown can’t survive just on independent businesses.” — Downtown Association President Byron Greiner on the new Urban Outfitters store headed for downtown Asheville, quoted in “Here Comes the Chain Again,” July 29 “We should be discouraging national chains from moving here. They are not compatible with our working infrastructure. An 8,000square-foot store that sells over 30,000 products a year is offering nothing special or niche — [it belongs] in the mall or on Tunnel Road.” — Sara Legatski, who owns downtown clothing stores Honeypot and HUNK, quoted in “Here Comes the Chain Again,” July 29 “Once he got on the phone [and] assessed tag information through our criminal-justice systems, he was acting as a police officer. He should have been communicating in a professional manner, which he did not. We are taking action that will involve corrective training; it will involve a written reprimand that will result in days of suspension without pay.” — Buncombe County Sheriff Van Duncan, quoted in “Sheriff Will Suspend Deputy Accused in Road Rage Incident,” mountainx.com, Aug. 3 “It really does change your attitude. You become way more aggressive, you’re a lot jerkier, you walk around like a rooster bobbing your head everywhere and questioning everything.” — Actor Andy Stucky, quoted in “Everyone Should Rock a Mullet for a Day or Two,” Aug. 5

“You can put pretension and snobbery into any hobby, but if you leave it out, you can get so much more done. I never think, ‘Oh, you stupid consumer.’ I think, ‘Oh, you’re the perfect person for Wine 101.” — Wine expert Jess Gualano of Hops & Vines, quoted in “Teaching Vino,” July 15 “Nobody else is having to prove a damn thing ... yet the black guy in Buncombe County is being asked.” — N.C. Republican Party Vice Chair Tim Johnson addressing attacks on his character and past, quoted in “The One on the Right,” July 15 “It just doesn’t seem like our country would let something like this go on for more than 20 years.” — Buncombe County resident Dot Rice on trichloroethylene contamination, quoted in “Something Is Rotten Off Mills Gap Road,” July 15 “Oh my god, the guy across the street needs to put some f**kin’ clothes on! He’s standing out

18 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

“I used to go to every possible show I could go to, no matter what the cost, in all realms of cost. I would just do it. It was one of the most important things to me at that time. Honestly, I wouldn’t exchange those experiences for the world. I feel like it made me the person I am today.” — Phish fan Amber Stoner, quoted in “Phish Phans Rejoice,” June 3 photo by jonathan welch


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vate man who nevertheless managed to leave behind stacks of correspondence and handwritten records. As a businessman, he was shrewd but constantly in need of money. Trusted by many of the region’s most powerful men and women, he was once suspected of being nothing less than an international spy.” — From “Light and Shadow: The Mystery and Legacy of George Masa,” Aug. 26 “No one buys my vote.” — Rep. Heath Shuler on whether sizable contributions from insurance companies influenced his opposition to health-care-reform legislation, quoted in “Shuler Opposes Health Care Legislation But Says ‘We’ve got to have reform,’” Aug. 26

“The people will rally around and come together. We’ve had to struggle for everything we’ve gotten.” — Burton Street neighborhood resident Vivian Conley, quoted in “Banding Together,” May 20 photo by michael mauney

“To just shoot a cyclist in the head like that, that’s beyond road rage. I think there’s clearly some mental illness involved. The thing that really worries me is that there’s this belief that somehow cyclists shouldn’t be on the road.” — Asheville on Bikes founder Mike Sule on Charles Alexander Diez’s shooting at cyclist Alan Simons, quoted in “Accused Gunman Released on Bond, Cycling Community Outraged,” Aug. 5 “This is going to be a blight on tourism. Americans love animals, and all they have to know is that animals are being abused.” — Former game-show host Bob Barker on allegations that captive bears were being mistreated on the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians reservation, quoted in “Bob Barker, PETA Protest Treatment of Cherokee Bears,” Aug. 5 “It’s always fun to see people saying our words. You can look at someone and see that they’re nearly our age, and right next to them is some young 18-year-old kid who might’ve gotten into us when he was 10 and he was listening to Stakes Is High.” — De La Soul’s Posdnous, quoted in “Still Out Doing What They Do,” Aug. 5 “When mussels disappear, other species do too. … Everything’s connected.” — U.S. Fish & Wildlife biologist John Fridell, quoted in “The Old Shell Game,” Aug. 5 “This is, after all, a movie where grown men and women gallivant around in rubber suits, going by names that sound like sex positions — Heavy Duty, Dr. Mindbender and Hard Master — yet the film never acknowledges how downright inane any of this is.” — Justin Souther, reviewing G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Aug. 12

“Fifteen years of Mountain Xpress is something we’re proud of here. We may not be perfect, but I, for one, can testify that we work our collective tails off EVERY week.” — Xpress Advertising Director James Fisher, writing in the paper’s 15th-anniversary issue, Aug. 19 “[Chris Robinson] has been very supportive of our group and our sound. We sing a lot of fourpart harmonies, and having Chris Robinson there as our singing coach was pretty amazing. We’re all guys who grew up loving The Black Crowes.” — Singer/songwriter Scott Kinnebrew of Truth & Salvage Co., quoted in “L.A. Story,” Aug. 19 “Our side of the street seemed to be a little more [conservative], and the other side, with Malaprop’s, was a little more alternative.” — Bier Garden owner John Bodenhorst, quoted in “Remember When?” Aug. 19 “With climate change and the need to save energy, there’s reason to restart a streetcar system. … We’ve been building highways to solve all our transportation problems, and that era is over.” — planning expert David Johnson, quoted in “You Say Trolley, I Say Tram: A Vision for Public Transit,” Aug. 26 “I was always thinking about how lines and shapes work together — I was never thinking about just one tree at a time.” — Painter Laura Marsico, quoted in “Marshall: The South of France of the South,” Aug. 26 “Despite all the attention, Masa remains an elusive figure. He is a knot of contradictions: a socialite of scant means, a stranger with a thousand friends. He was an intensely pri-

20 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

“What I hope — for local food and this restaurant — is that we don’t lose sight of how valuable a shared meal is for family, for business, for everyone.” — Mark Rosenstein on the sale of his well-known downtown restaurant, The Market Place, quoted in “A Changing of the Guard at The Marketplace,” Sept. 2 “Each month will feature a classic portrait of a noted Asheville ‘freak’ and tell the story behind their uniqueness.” — Erin Scholze of Arts2People, quoted in “Meet the Freaks,” Sept. 2 “I used to drink Diet Coke and Pellegrino, but now I cannot have any kind of carbonated beverage, which is really hard. I need to go to CA — Carbonation Anonymous. It’s really hard to give it up, and I am not sure I can do it alone.” — Comedian Margaret Cho, quoted in “Just the Right Amount of Raunchy,” Sept. 9 “This isn’t a movie. This is like being trapped by the doting parents of a spectacularly backward child, who then proceed to bludgeon you with attempts to make you proclaim how adorable said child is. Now I see a lot of movies, and a lot of them I don’t like very much. Very rarely, however, do I hate them. I hated Paper Heart. A lot.” — Ken Hanke reviewing Paper Heart, Sept. 9 “Unfortunately, the peculiarity of the film doesn’t translate to interesting. Or funny. Or entertaining. It’s a quagmire of a movie that might make me never look at crosswords the same way again. I always knew it’d be a sad day when I switched to the Jumble.” — Justin Souther reviewing All About Steve, Sept. 9 “I realized the potential of having all these bloggers who are highly influential and saw an opportunity to showcase Asheville as a tourist destination.” — Local blogger and social-media star Kelby Carr on organizing Asheville’s first mommy-blogging conference, quoted in “Dot.com Moms,” Sept. 16 “I’ve got caterers, I’ve got bakers, I’ve got farmers, I’ve got hot dog carts. If you want to rent my kitchen and make coleslaw juice, I’m not going to stop you.” — Blue Ridge Food Ventures Executive Director

Mary Lou Surgi, quoted in “So Many Cooks in the Kitchen,” Sept. 16 “The trouble with kipple is that it reproduces itself when you’re not looking. Go to bed with an unlabeled, burned CD lying on your desk, and when you wake up in the morning there will be three, and two will be scratched.” — From “Crippled by Kipple: Do Junkers Dream of Uncluttered Digs?” Sept. 16 “That put us in a bit of a bind, as far as asking someone to put their money and their time and effort into putting out a record and publicizing it when we couldn’t go out to do it ourselves. It’s kind of hypocritical.” — Bill Taylor of Kingsbury Manx, quoted in “In Shape to Show,” Sept. 16 “Krautrock was something very special, in that all the groups who played at that time had nothing in common except their urge of finding their own identity way outside the beaten tracks of Anglo-American rock ’n’ roll. The media have forgotten this and use the term ‘Kraut’ for just about anything.” — Jean-Herve Péron of Faust, quoted in “Krautrock? Nein!” Sept. 23 “I got the idea looking at a photograph of Martha Stewart’s new vegetable garden in Bedford, N.Y. Everything is perfect; not a thing out of place. I thought, ‘Oh my lord.’ Then I thought, ‘Of course, Strega Nona’s garden would look like that.’” — Author Tomie dePaola, quoted in “Strega Nona Returns,” Sept. 23 “Mercury’s very toxic, and I started wondering why they would put it in light bulbs.” — Reynolds High junior Jovahnna “Jojo” Graves, quoted in “Scout’s Honor: One Teen’s Campaign to Safely Dispose of CFLs,” Sept. 30 “This is a whole paradigm shift for people who have been chaining their dogs for years.” — Asheville Mayor Terry Bellamy on outlawing dog tethering inside the city limits, quoted in “Dogged Pursuit,” Sept. 30. “I look back at the ’90s and wish hindsight was more like 20/600, so I couldn’t see it so well.” —Black Crowes drummer Steve Gorman, quoted in “Let’s Just See What Happens When It Counts,” Sept. 30 “It is the City’s normal practice to review one application at a time per parcel. As a result, your recent Level I project will supplant the former Level II project which will be voided from the City’s permit system and records.” — Letter from Assistant Planning and Development Director Shannon Tuch informing Parkside developer Stewart Coleman that his Pack’s Tavern design plan voids his prior application for the controversial Pack Square condo, quoted in “City Tells Coleman Parkside Is Off the Table,” Sept. 30 “I had hopes for Lynn Shelton’s Humpday, even after learning it was being lumped into the distressingly depressing category known as mumblecore, a classification that more or less


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“From my vantage point, I don’t feel like [Asheville] is moving away from roots music. If we’re a flower, we have a strong root and always will. But now there are other parts to that plant.” — Indie rocker Stephanie Morgan, quoted in “Next We’re Movin’ On,” Feb. 4

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means little or no budget and a good deal of meandering, navel-gazing philosophizing by twentysomethings who are inarticulately dissatisfied with their ennui-infested lives.” — Ken Hanke reviewing Humpday, Sept. 30 “I was a schoolteacher for years, and ‘No Child Left Behind’ is what drove me into doing comedy.” — LaZoom Tours co-owner Jennifer Lauzon, quoted in “Coffee Talk, Horses and Shakespeare: An Xpress Chat with Local Businesswomen,” Sept. 30 “Motorcycles are fine: Their riders simply need to obey the law. No one has an inherent right to generate unnecessary noise pollution.” — Grant Millin, “The Motorcycle Community Needs a Tuneup,” Sept. 30 “English is cool for its resonance and for the hip, rhythm mouth sounds one can make with it — and the attitude. It’s absolutely fantastic for expressing attitude. I use the African language to make more earthy, deep Afro sounds and percussive sounds.” — Singer Marie Daulne of Zap Mama, quoted in “At Home and Abroad,” Oct. 7 “The most important place for me to be is not on the campaign trail, it’s by my wife’s side.” — Council member Kelly Miller on his wife’s can-

cer, quoted in “Miller Withdraws From Asheville City Council Race” on mountainx.com, Oct. 9 “We’re kind of like the hard-core band for nothard-core people.” — Just Die! guitarist Matt Evans, quoted in “Basement Vigilantes,” Oct. 14 “There is no trust; there is no faith; there is no transparency. This continues to spread.” — Mills Gap Road area resident Aaron Penland on the cleanup of the contaminated former CTS of Asheville site, quoted in “No Trust,” Oct. 14

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“They should put huge, bright-colored condoms on all those phallic symbols standing in front of the Buncombe County Courthouse on the old City/County Plaza to remind the public what the Pack Square Conservancy has done to the community.” — Jerry Sternberg writing in Commentary, Oct. 21 “What exactly is there to be said about this utterly worthless, incredibly dull, addle-brained waste of 101 minutes except that it’s an utterly worthless, incredibly dull, addle-brained waste of 101 minutes?” — Ken Hanke, reviewing The Stepfather, Oct. 21

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in a lot of ways. The highway isn’t the change, but it’s accelerating the process.” — Photographer Rob Amberg, quoted in “Road Warrior,” Nov. 4 “The first line in The Fourth Kind has Milla Jovovich calling herself an ‘actress,’ so we know right away the film is lying.” — Ken Hanke reviewing The Fourth Kind, Nov. 11

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“Why Asheville Street Style? Well, like many larger cities — New York, Paris, Tokyo and Helsinki — Asheville has its own flavor, a hard-to-pin-down and equally hard-to-deny artistic essence that comes out in residents free-spirited apparel.” — Xpress arts and fashion writer Alli Marshall, “You Wear it Well,” March 18 photo by ALLI MARSHALL

then women would still not be allowed to go to engineering school, or become lawyers or doctors or [enter] other professions that were historically male-dominated.” — air-quality engineer Melanie Pitrolo, quoted in “Pollution, Politics and Gender: A Discrimination Case at the Air Quality Agency,” Oct. 28

“It’s just a part of who I am. ... In a sense, for people who are living in Middle America who have really no experience with Judaism, I might be the only face to it, the only connection that they would have or that they would see. On the other hand, I don’t feel that’s my role, and I don’t feel that’s my purpose. That’s not really what I’m out there to do. It just happens as kind of a byproduct of who I am.” — Hasidic hip-hop artist Matisyahu, quoted in “Create the Sound and the Life You Want to Live,” Nov. 11 “Things are going to get worse. You’re going to see a rise in hospital activity, a rise in incarcerations because the people affected by this can’t get the treatment they need. They don’t just disappear; it’s going to get much worse before it gets better.” — Margaret George of the October Roads treatment program on the impact of yet another round of state budget cuts to mental-health agencies, quoted in “No Treatment?” Nov. 11 “I said ‘pop music for cannibals’ for a while. Then I called it ‘minimalist pop mayhem.’ I also said ‘green apples in mud’ to someone once.” — Ryan Cox of The If You Wannas, quoted in “Minimalist Pop Mayhem,” Nov. 18

“In Asheville, there’s a different ugly word attached to the policies that could do the most to reduce our per capita carbon footprint. But here the word is a long one: development. Actually, it’s more of a phrase: high-density, inner-city development.” — Jonathan Barnard, writing in Commentary, Nov. 18 “Sustainability isn’t something to be had; it’s a way we have to live.” — Charlie Hopper, co-creator of the iPhone app Botany Buddy, quoted in “What’s It Mean To Be Green?” Nov. 18 “To my eyes, Goodwill is threatening to take over the thrift-store ‘scene’ entirely, driving out mom-and-pop shops and turning thrifting into one fluorescent-lit, neatly aisled slow trudge to the checkout line. My teenage sister-in-law sees a thrift store of any type and says, ‘Oh, look – there’s a Goodwill,’ like someone might say, ‘Give me a Kleenex,’ when they’d be perfectly happy to accept a tissue.” — From “Junker’s Blues: Goodwill Disgruntling,” Nov. 25 “He was our publisher, but he was also our best friend. He was the funniest person I’ve ever met.” — Art Director Porscha Yount on the passing of GLBT champion Ira Schultz, quoted in “Local Publisher Ira Schultz Dies; Stereotypd to Carry on His Work,” Nov. 25 “This is what happens in communist countries.” — West Asheville resident Hope Herrick, quoted in “Zoning War Winding Down?” Nov. 25 “This is a new strain, so we are not sure what its characteristics are going to be. If H1N1 were

“I could go to Malaprop’s and buy books of old post cards. I could walk around downtown, and half of what I looked at was there in 1941. Likewise there are neighborhoods I could walk around, like the Montford district, that look pretty much as they did in the 1940s, except for the cars parked out front.” — Author Barbara Kingsolver, quoted in “Zelda’s Neighbor, Frida’s Pen Pal,” Oct. 28 “We were starting to move toward, you know, can things be even more amorphous yet still rule-based, still having themes and forms and whatnot. But then when you play it, it will be different every time, but it will still be that same thing.” — Ahleuchatistas frontman Shane Perlowin, quoted in “Ferocity, Urgency, Timing,” Oct. 28 “Combine the growth of alternative power sources with increased efficiency, and that reduces, if not eliminates, the need for building any more new fossil-fuel-powered or nuclear plants.” — Ned Doyle, founder of the Southern Energy & Environment Expo, quoted in “Get Smart: Feds Pump Money into Smart Grid,” Nov. 4 “The route I-26 takes through Madison County has been a trade route since Native American times. The history of the region is one of change

22 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

“This is truly a wide and disparate movement made up of people from varied and diverse backgrounds. From children too young to walk, to teenagers, families and retirees, to bikers, cowboys, teenyboppers and everyone in between, this movement accepts and has something for everyone who believes.” — Photographer Scott Lessing, discussing the evangelical movement featured in his photo essay, “Faith in Focus,” Jan. 28


to mutate, then we’re not sure how it would impact these waves. But right now we haven’t seen a mutation of this strain.” — Buncombe County Disease Control Supervisor Sue Ellen Morrison, quoted in “Going Viral,” Dec. 2 “My work was greatly affected by the creativity of the musicians and their ideas. Musical notes would turn into colors for me, almost lighting up on the canvas.” — Painter Phil Cheney, quoted in “Artillery: Painting Live at Snake Oil Medicine Show,” Dec. 9 “There’s presumption that the little person has rights as to what their community looks like right now. The fact is, they have absolutely none. I’ve seen porn shops near churches, concrete plants near communities; I’ve seen a shooting range right in somebody’s backyard. You have no control over what goes next door to you.” — Buncombe County Board of Commissioners Chair David Gantt, quoted in “Buncombe Commissioners Reinstate Zoning,” Dec. 9 “Last year, Aerosmith (with whom Whitford plays rhythm guitar) performed a live version of the song ‘Feels Like Christmas’ at a Vancouver concert. If you like doing detective work, try tracking it down. Also, there’s a seasonal stage spoof, performed by Chicago’s Annoyance Theatre, called An Aerosmith Christmas. The tag line is, ‘Will Aerosmith’s Evil Drummer, Joey Kramer,

Destroy Christmas?’” — From “The 21st Noël,” Dec. 9 “I prefer the term ‘post-theist.’ The key issue here is that there is no religious test for public office.” —Asheville City Council member Cecil Bothwell, quoted in “Bothwell Atheism ‘Controversy’ Echoes Around the Web,” Dec. 16 “People are going to continue to be exposed. People are going to continue to die.” — Asheville resident Tate MacQueen discussing ongoing contamination problems in the Mills Gap Road area, quoted in “The Low-down Slowdown on CTS,” Dec. 16 “It really hit me, the solemnity of this building. I felt the weight of this building like I hadn’t before.” — Newly elected Asheville City Council member Cecil Bothwell, quoted in “New Council Members, Re-elected Mayor Take Their Seats,” Dec. 16 “Maybe not everyone wants to be a journalist, but we’re rapidly approaching an era when anyone can be a journalist of one sort or another. And as the impacts of these fundamental changes spread, we want to be able to say that Xpress helped pave the way for a new kind of journalism that’s richer, more diffuse, more responsive and more empowering than the way we used to do it.” — Xpress Managing Editor Jon Elliston, “The News We All Make,” Dec. 23 X

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Seasonal treasures

Winter berries can outlast even fruitcake (not to mention dangerous winds) by Melanie McGee Bianchi For fair-weather hikers, winter is a time to hunker down around the fire perusing trail guides and gear catalogs while dreaming of spring. But for hardier souls, winter in the Southern Appalachians has its own rewards. A recent hike at The North Carolina Arboretum highlighted one of those seasonal pleasures: the winter berries whose vivid hues enhance the spare landscape. Notable among them is the aptly named bittersweet. These festive orange berries — a trendy element of DIY holiday wreaths — crown an invasive species that chokes out indigenous flora. Hike leader Terry Dalton, the arboretum’s sustainable-landscape curator, explained all this, hinting that bittersweet’s pandemic spread may one day outpace kudzu. But the insidious vine soon faded in favor of the crimson-studded shrubs and trees enjoying center stage this season in the arboretum’s immediate grounds. Showiest among the December fruit is the simply named winterberry, a type of deciduous holly. Without leaves for contrast, winterberry trees exhibit beautifully against a cold, blue sky.

Happy holly trails: Winter trails at the N.C. Arboretum mean winter berries, like these bright red hollies dabbed with fresh snow.

Fruit of the heavenly bamboo: Nandina, or heavenly bamboo, displays its own version of winter berries at the Arboretum. photo by Melanie McGee Bianchi

photo courtesy N.C. Arboretum

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Small, royal-purple beautyberries are another deciduous Southeastern gem. Dalton, a passionate advocate of indigenous botanicals, even included the velvety, berry-packed cone of a staghorn sumac, another native tree that sheds its leaves. He went on to point out nandina, a charming shrub that’s com-

of this classic, barbed evergreen in sprigs, in its proper element the plant easily reaches a height of 40 feet and has been known to top 90. As with roses, certain choice holly cultivars are advanced for their dazzling presentation, such as the pleasingly named ‘Miss Helen Holly’ and ‘Satyr Hill.’

A recent hike at The North Carolina Arboretum highlighted winter berries, whose vivid hues enhance the spare landscape. monly known as heavenly bamboo. Keeping its foliage, the non-native nandina’s hollylike impact has helped it enjoy major success as a landscape ornamental despite its invasive tendencies. The curator seemed more partial to the native viburnum (known as snowball tree in summer), whose red fruits display a telltale translucence. Some types of viburnum are especially attractive to overwintering birds. In general, though, the reason certain berries are visible now is that they’re a last-ditch food source. “The trees that fruit in fall are their first choice,” Dalton explained. “Anything that remains is not as tasty. The birds will go after winter berries only if they need to.” Thankfully, this season’s heavy moisture has ensured a good crop of leftovers. “Lots of rain,” he noted, “equals lots of berries.” Viewing and photographing the property’s majestic American holly trees involves considerable neck-craning. Although one tends to think

At the far west end of the holly garden, Dalton identified a couple of examples of rare ‘Winter Gold’ trees. Diehard traditionalists, he said, “hate the sight of these yellow berries. They think the tree looks diseased.” Others, however, are drawn to the startling color. But if the gorgeous ‘Winter Gold’ can offend, the problem clearly lies in the prejudiced eye of the beholder. The fruits themselves, hardy as rock salt, can withstand the snub. Even the 50 mph winds that billowed around us during the winterberry tour could not dislodge these amazingly resilient globules, Dalton emphasized. But if winter berries don’t drop until they’re good and ready, the traffic lights along Brevard Road fared much worse that day. Snapped at their source by the fierce gusts, they left nothing round or red to guide drivers home. X Melanie McGee Bianchi is a stay-at-home mom and freelance journalist.


outdoorscalendar Calendar for December 30, 2009 January 7, 2010 Asheville Track Club The club provides information, education, training, social and sporting events for runners and walkers of any age. Please see the group Web site for weekly events and news. Info: www. ashevilletrackclub.org or 253-8781. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Carrier Park Runners. Meet at the Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Dick Duccini, 645-8887. Pace: slowmoderate —- 6pm - Beginning Runner’s Program. Meet at the Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Tom Kilsbury, burytom@charter. net —- 6pm - ATC Walkers Club. Meet at the Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Larry Fincher, HawCreekLarry@aol.com. • SATURDAYS, 8am - Carrier Park Runners. Meet at Beaver Lake Bird Sanctuary. Leader: Dick Duccini, 645-8887 —- 8am - Beginning Runner’s Program. Meet at Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Tom Kilsbury, burytom@charter.net —8am - ATC Walkers Club. Meet at Fletcher Park. Leader: Sherry Best-Kai, 595-4148 or bestmsrd@mchsi.com. Call ahead to confirm. • SUNDAYS, 8am - Carrier Park Runners. Park at NC Arboretum Greenhouse. Leader: Dick Duccini, 645-8887. Long, slow distance on trails —8:30am - ATC Trail Run. Park at NC Arboretum Greenhouse. Leaders: Bryan Trantham, 6489336, and Rick Taylor, 776-3853. Pace: 8:309:30mpm. Blue Ridge Bicycle Club Encourages safe and responsible recreational bicycling in the WNC area. To find out more about the club and its ongoing advocacy efforts, or to see a complete club calendar, visit www. blueridgebicycleclub.org. • THURSDAYS - Fletcher Blue Sky Road Ride. Departs promptly at 9:15am. Route and meeting place vary. No one will be left behind. E-mail for details or if weather is questionable: JohnL9@ MorrisBB.net.

• SATURDAYS - Gary Arthur Ledges Park Road Ride. Departs in the a.m. from Ledges Park, located 6.5 miles off UNCA exit on I-26. Ride north along the French Broad River to Marshall for coffee, then return via Ivy Hill. E-mail for departure time: jbyrdlaw@charter.net. • SUNDAYS - Folk Art Center Road Ride. Departs in the p.m. from the Folk Art Center on the Blue Ridge Parkway. This is a show-n-go ride, meaning there may not be a ride leader. Call or e-mail for departure time: 713-8504 or billcrownover@bellsouth.net. Carolina Mountain Club CMC fosters the enjoyment of the mountains of WNC and adjoining regions and encourages the conservation of our natural resources, through an extensive schedule of hikes and a program of trail building and maintenance. $20 per year, family memberships $30 per year. Newcomers must call the leader before the hike. Info: www. carolinamtnclub.org. • WE (12/30), 9am - Devil Fork Gap to Rocky Fork Road. Info: 654-9904 or donwalton@bellsouth.net. • FR (1/1), 9:15am - Green River Gamelands. Info: 692-0116. • SU (1/3), 8:30am - Street Gap to Big Bald. Info: 658-1220 —- 12:30pm - North Slope Loop Trail. Info: 693-6580. • WE (1/6), 8:30am - Rich Mountain, Round Top Trail and Lovers Leap. Info: 252-6327.

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MORE OUTDOORS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Outdoors Calendar online at www. mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after January 7.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 25


calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

Community Events & Workshops • Social & Shared-Interest Groups • Government & Politics • Seniors & Retirees • Animals • Technology • Business & Careers • Volunteering • Health Programs & Support Groups Calendar C a t e g o r i e s : Helplines • Sports Groups & Activities • Kids • Spirituality • Arts • Spoken & Written Word • Food • Festivals & Gatherings • Music • Theater • Comedy • Film • Dance • Auditions & Call to Artists Calendar for December 30 - January 7, 2010 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code. Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx.com/events. Weekday Abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Community Events & Workshops Smoke-Free Restaurants and Bars Law Celebration • SA (1/2), Noon-2pm Project ASSIST Coalition and youth advocates will honor local legislators for their support of the new law. Rep.

Susan Fisher, Rep. Bruce Goforth, Rep. Jane Whilden and Sen. Martin Nesbitt will bowl alongside the coalition and advocates at Star Lanes Bowling Center, Kenilworth Rd.

Social & SharedInterest Groups Asheville Civitan Club Come hear community leaders present programs. Meetings are held at Trinity Episcopal Church, corner of Church St. and Aston St. Open to the public. RSVP for lunch: $10. Info: 348-4222 or www.ashevillecivitan.org. • TU (1/5), Noon - John Dankel, who with his wife has traveled widely in a motor-home, will talk about some of the sights and adventures they have had along their travels. Asheville Homeless Network Meetings take place at Firestorm Cafe & Books in

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PAID listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m. (7 days prior to publication) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar Information In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing. If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com. Free Listings To submit a free listing: * Online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/ events/submission * E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com * Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar * Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville. Please limit your submission to 40 words or less. Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365. Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.). To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. * E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. * Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar * Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville. Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

downtown Asheville. Info: 552-0505. • THURSDAYS, 2pm - All homeless people and interested citizens are welcome. Blue Ridge Toastmasters Club Meets once a week to enhance speaking skills both formal and impromptu. Part of an international proven program that takes you through the steps with fun along the way. Network with interesting people of all ages and professions. Info: www.blueridgetm.org or 333-2500. • MONDAYS, 12:20-1:30pm - Meeting. Koinonia Monday Night Potlucks • MONDAYS, 6-10pm - Potluck. The gathering invites visionaries, homeschoolers, activists, spiritualists and folks of all walks of life to share ideas and wisdom. Be a part of fostering an evolved local and global community. Change begins within us. Info: 333-2000. Planned Parenthood of Asheville Young Advocates • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 6:308pm - Monthly meeting. Get to know like-minded young Ashevilleans who advocate for choice and reproductive health. Explore volunteer opportunities and plan upcoming events. Info: 252-7928, ext. 6241 or sue. simpson@pphsinc.org. Scrabble Club Come play America’s favorite word game SCRABBLE. Info: 252-8154. • SUNDAYS, 1-5pm Meets at Books-A-Million in Asheville. We have all the gear; just bring your vocabulary. No dues the first six months. TEDxAVL 2010 Organizational Meetings • 1st & 3rd MONDAYS, 6-8pm - Help TEDxAVL find speakers, performers and product demos for a 2010 conference packed with ideas. At Locomotivity, 224 Broadway near the 240 W exit. Info: 231-7205. Call to confirm meeting date/time. The New Friends Meetup Interested in meeting new people for friendship, fun, romance, activities, and learning new things? Info: www.meetup.com/NewFriends-Meetup.

• WEEKLY - Meets at a bar/restaurant.

weeklypicks

Government & Politics Be A Local Leader • Through WE (1/6), 5pm - Application deadline for citizens interested in becoming a local leader by serving on an Asheville City board or commission. Info: 259-5601 or mburleson@ashevillenc. gov. LibertyOnTheRocks.org A national nonpartisan social group connecting liberty advocates. • MONDAYS, 7pm - Meets at El Chapala Restaurant off of Merrimon Ave. Stand for Peace • TUESDAYS, 5-6pm - Stand for peace with Veterans for Peace, Iraq Veterans Against the War, War Resisters League, Military Families Speak Out, Buncombe Green Party and other peace mongers at Pack Place, intersection of Patton and Biltmore Avenues. Info: 582-5180. The Green Tea Party Where reasoned discussions of current affairs occur. Free and open to the public. Info: 582-5180 or 225-4347. • 1st & 3rd MONDAYS, 79pm - Meetings at Waking Life Espresso, 976 Haywood Rd.

Seniors & Retirees Henderson County Senior Softball League The league is always looking for new players, ages 55 and older. Weather permitting, they play year-round. Info: 698-3448 or www. LJRsoftball.com. • TUESDAYS & FRIDAYS - Daytime games at Jackson Park in Hendersonville (AprilOct.) and Leila Patterson Center in Fletcher (Nov.March). Start times may vary with season.

Animals ChainFree Asheville A nonprofit, all-volunteer effort dedicated to improving the welfare of dogs living outdoors on chains and in pens in Asheville and Buncombe County. Info:

26 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

Events are FREE unless otherwise noted. by Aesthetic Gallery, 6 College St., downtown Asheville, on Wednesday, Dec. 30, wed Drop to view abstract artist Cliff Yudell's take on mountain development. The exhibit, Environ/ Mental Disorder, will be on display through Jan. 31. Info: 398-0219.

Still searching for ways to ring in the New Year? Check out Alli Marshall's roundup of New

thur Year's Eve events in the Arts & Entertainment section of this week's Xpress. fri

Friday, Jan. 1: Happy 2010 everyone!

sat

Teachers and students in the Warren Wilson College MFA Program will read from their works of fiction and poetry Saturday, Jan. 2, at 8 p.m. in Gladfelter, Canon Lounge, on the WWC campus. Featured readers include Dean Bakopoulos, Mary Leader, Anthony Doerr and Ellen Bryant Voigt. Additional lectures and events will be held throughout the week. Info: 771-3715.

sun

Learn about the clever craftsmanship of early American building with Steven Burke, who will give a lecture on "Building Small: American Folk Art Houses and Structures" Sunday, Jan. 3, at 2 p.m. at the N.C. Arboretum 's Baker Exhibit Center. Info: 665-2492. Attend a dramatic reading of the play Beauty Queen of Leenae, presented by N.C. Stage

mon Company, Wintry Mix Monday, Jan. 4, at 2 p.m. at the Reuter Center on the UNCA campus. Info: 251-6140.

tue

A screening of the film Kanyini, which highlights the cultural perspectives of Aboriginal men from Central Australia, will be held Tuesday, Jan. 5, at 7 p.m. at the Fine Arts Theatre. $5-$10 suggested donation, with proceeds benefiting Uncle Bob's Kanyini Centre and Sharing Cultures Pty. Ltd. Info: www.kanyini.com.

www.chainfreeasheville.org or 450-7736. • SUNDAYS, 11am-3pm - Come help a chained dog experience freedom. No experience necessary. Meets 4 times a month within Asheville or Buncombe County to build a fence for a chained dog. Haywood County Animal Shelter Located at 245 Hemlock St., Waynesville. Info: 456-9340. • Through SU (1/3) Haywood County Animal Shelter, Sarge’s Animal Rescue Foundation and Aidan’s Fund are teaming up to help people adopt a shelter pet. A portion of the adoption fee for pets will be paid. Info: 246-9050. WNC Agricultural Center Hosts agricultural events, horse shows and farm-related competitions. Located at 1301 Fanning Bridge Road. in Fletcher. Info: 687-1414. • FR (1/1) through SU (1/3) - C-4 Rodeo. $10-$15.

Business & Careers Asheville Strategic Alliance

An Asheville-area based group of community-minded professionals who conduct free public seminars on financial and legal issues. ASA is located at 149 S. Lexington Ave. Info: www. AshevilleStrategicAlliance. com. • WE (1/6), 6-7pm - “Five Financial New Year’s Resolutions for Taking Control of Your Money and Gaining Control of Your Life,” presented by Reeta Wolfsohnm CMSW, founder of the Financial Social Work discipline. RSVP: lmgothberg@yahoo.com. OnTrack Financial Education & Counseling Formerly Consumer Credit Counseling Service of WNC. OnTrack offers services to improve personal finances. Unless otherwise noted, all classes are free and held at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Ste. 222. Info: 255-5166 or www.ontrackwnc.org. • TH (1/5), 5:30-6:30pm - “Making a New Money Start.” Learn the SMART method of goal-setting to get your financial life in place.

Volunteering Asheville Area Directors of Volunteers in Agencies D.O.V.I.A., a nonprofit affiliate of the N.C. Association of Volunteer Administration, is dedicated to enhancing the skills of our community’s volunteer managers by conducting educational programs, sharing volunteer management information and resources, providing networking opportunities, and promoting community awareness of the value of volunteer services. • To get involved: 2550696, clee@unitedwayabc. org or http://tinyurl.com/ asheville-dovia. Asheville City Schools Foundation Seeking Academic Coaches (tutors/mentors) to support students by assisting them with a variety of tasks that support educational success. One hr/wk min., for one school year, in your choice of school or afterschool program. Training provided. Info: 350-6135, terri.wells@asheville.k12. nc.us or www.acsf.org.

• MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 8:30am-5pm - Academic coaching in the schools or at after-school programs, once a week. Events at Barnes & Noble The bookstore is located at 3 Tunnel Rd. in the Asheville Mall. Info: www.bn.com. • Through FR (1/1) - Annual Holiday Book Drive: Barnes & Noble will be collecting books for Toys for Tots. Info: 296-7335. Gear Drive for Inner City Outings • Through TU (1/5) Support Inner City Outings, a local nonprofit focused on providing kids with outdoor experience, by donating gear in good condition that’s on their wish list, and get the chance to win a $30 REI gift card. Info: www.rei. com/asheville. Graffiti Removal Action Teams Join Asheville GreenWorks in combating graffiti vandalism in our community. Removing quickly and keeping covered is the best way to reduce graffiti. Info: 254-1776. • THURSDAYS - Graffiti removal.


Guardian ad Litem Program Seeks Volunteers Volunteers are needed to advocate for children involved in the juvenile court process due to abuse and neglect. No experience necessary. Free training prepares volunteers to make a difference in a child’s life. Info: 251-6130. • MO (1/11) - Training begins. Call to register. Hands On AshevilleBuncombe Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome to volunteer on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the Web site to sign up for a project. • Download “Twelve Days of Caring,” a list of 12 simple projects that make our community a better place to live while refocusing on the true meaning of the holidays. Info: www. handsonasheville.org. • FR (1/1), 11am-12:30pm - Cook and serve a homemade lunch to the men staying at the ABCCM Veteran’s Restoration Quarters & Inn. Both men and women are encouraged to participate in this project. Raise the Roof Campaign • Through FR (1/1) - Help Raise the Roof on a new community house for low-income families, for people on the streets and for seniors by collecting donations to benefit Beloved Community. Info: 545-0324. Send donations to: 610 A Haywood Road, Asheville, 28806. Western Alliance Center for Independent Living Located at 108 New Leicester Hwy., Asheville. Info: 298-1977 or www. westernalliance.org. • SA (1/2), 10am-2pm - Give your computer a second life. Donations benefit people with disabilities. WNC Nature Center Located at 75 Gashes Creek Rd. Hours: 10am-5pm daily. Admission: $8/$6 Asheville City residents/$4 kids. Info: 298-5600 or www.wildwnc.org. • WEDNESDAYS (1/6) through (2/24) - Winter Work Days. Volunteers are needed to help with exhibition improvements and outdoor landscaping projects. Info: 298-5600, ext. 305.

Health Programs & Support Groups Professional Help For Overshoppers/Overspenders (pd.) Stop the pain of Overshopping and

Overspending • Discover triggers and cues • Learn specific tools, strategies and techniques • Break the cycle of overspending • Overcome the urge to splurge this holiday season • Develop mindfulness in making decisions. Call 231-2107. Al-Anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info: 800-2861326 or www.wnc-alanon. org. • WEDNESDAYS, 8-9pm - Newcomers meeting and discussion: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Enter through parking lot door. Info: 2250515. • WEDNESDAYS, 12:151:15pm - Step study: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • THURSDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting for parents of children with addictions: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Info: 242-6197. • FRIDAYS, 8pm - The Lambda (GLBT) group of Al-Anon is a gay-friendly support group for families and friends of alcoholics, and holds their weekly candlelight meeting at All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 670-6277 (until 9pm). • FRIDAYS, 12:30-1:30pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • FRIDAYS, 6:30pm - Discussion meeting for couples only: All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 676-0485. • SATURDAYS, 10am - Al-Anon North: Meeting at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. • SATURDAYS, 10am - Saturday Serenity at St Mary’s Episcopal Church on the corner of Charlotte and Macon. Beginners welcome. • SATURDAYS, Noon - Weaverville discussion meeting at First Baptist Church on N. Main St., next to the library. Enter via side glass doors. • SUNDAYS, 5-6pm - Discussion meeting: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. Info: 281-1566. • MONDAYS, 12-1pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak

St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Art of Intimacy Practice Group Learn life-changing communication and relationship skills, drawing from the work of Brad Blanton (Radical Honesty), Marshal Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication), Susan Campbell (Getting Real), John Bradshaw (Homecoming) and others. By donation. Info: 254-5613 or www.centerforsacredsexuality.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:309:30pm - Meeting. Beauty Through Cancer Provides programs and services for breast cancer patients and survivors in the WNC area. Located at 131 McDowell St., Suite 202, Asheville. Info: 252-8558 or info@beautythroughcancer. org. • 1st & 3rd MONDAYS, 5:15-6:30pm - Breast cancer support group. Inspire one another, share stories and listen to interesting speakers from the community. All breast cancer patients, survivors and caregivers welcome. CarePartners Hospice Bereavement Offers one-on-one grief counseling, support groups, grief education classes, a monthly grief support newsletter and semi-annual memorial services (available to anyone who is suffering a loss through death). Located at 68 Sweeten Creek Road., Asheville. Call 251-0126 to set up an initial visit with a counselor. • WEEKLY - Grief education classes and support group meetings: Good Grief Support Group, Child-Loss Support Group, Suicide Loss Group (monthly). Debtors Anonymous • THURSDAYS, 7-8pm - Meets at Mount Pisgah Lutheran Church, 2606 Chimney Rock Road, Hendersonville. Info: DAHendersonville@gmail. com. Depression & Bipolar Support • THURSDAYS, 6-7:30pm - DBSA support group meets at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church. Open support for family and friends. Info: peacehead@ gmail.com or DBSAlliance. org/asheville. Eating Disorders Individuals are welcome to come to one or all of the

support group meetings. Info: 337-4685, frost_natalie@yahoo.com or www. thecenternc.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Focus is on positive peer support, coping skills and recovery tools. Led by licensed professionals. Free. Essential Tremor Support Group Info: 687-2356 or bchhenze@bellsouth.net. • 1st THURSDAYS, 6-7pm - Meeting at Seymour Auditorium, CarePartners, Sweeten Creek Rd. Events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall in Hendersonville. Free, but registration and appointments required unless otherwise noted. To register or for info: www.pardeehospital.org or 692-4600. • MO (1/4), 11am12:30pm - “Good News About Hip & Knee Pain,” a discussion with physical therapist Duane Young. • TH (1/7), 3-4:30pm - “Sharp as a Tack: Keeping your brain young,” with Lucy Butler, a speech therapist with Pardee Hospital. Butler will discuss the concept of “brain plasticity” and how to use this method to help prevent cognitive decline. Henderson County Red Cross Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children and adults; Standard First Aid in Spanish; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid. Located at 203 Second Ave. East, Hendersonville. Info: 693-5605. : Blood Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required. • WE (12/30), 6:3011am & 12:30-5pm - Pardee Hospital, Jamison Conference Room, 800 N. Justice St. Info: 696-4225. Lupus Support Group Those living with Lupus and their caregivers are welcome to exchange feelings, opinions and thoughts about coping with this complicated illness. Meetings are held in the conference room at the Canton Public Library, 11 Pennsylvania Ave. Info: www.lupuslinks. org or (877) 849-8271. • 1st TUESDAYS, 78:30pm - Support group meeting, featuring an open discussion, a guest speaker or a DVD presentation. Narcotics Anonymous

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A fellowship of recovering addicts that can help those afflicted get clean and stay clean through a 12-step program. The group focuses on recovering from the disease of addiction rather than any particular drug. For WNC NA meeting schedules and info: www.wncana.net. Helpline: (866) 925-2148. • DAILY - Please call for location details. National Alliance on Mental Illness - Western Carolina Dedicated to improving the lives of persons with severe mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, OCD, PTSD and anxiety disorders. Free Connection Recovery Support Groups. Info: 505-7353. • THURSDAYS, 7:30-9pm - Veterans Connection Recovery Support Group meets at the Charles George VA Medical Center, 1100 Tunnel Road. Multipurpose room. Contact Ray at raycarter2001@yahoo. com or 337-0515. • 1st SATURDAYS, 10am - Group meets at Mountainhouse, 225 E. Chestnut St. Overcomers Recovery Support Group • TUESDAYS, 7-8pm - A Christian-based 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with life-controlling problems such as alcohol, drugs, overeating, pornography, codependency, enabling. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sos.spc-asheville.org. Overeaters Anonymous A fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. This 12-step program welcomes everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Meetings are one hour unless noted. • THURSDAYS, Noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Rd. (S. 25 at Yorkshire). Info: 298-1899. • SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: Carver Parks & Recreation Center, 101 Carver Ave. off Blue Ridge Road. Open relapse and recovery mtg. Info: 686-8131. • MONDAYS, 6:30pm - Hendersonville: Balfour United Meth. Church, 2567 Asheville Hwy. (Hwy. 25). Open mtg. Info: 1-800-5804761. • MONDAYS, 5:15pm - Asheville: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak

St. Beginners mtg. Info: 277-8185. • MONDAYS, 6pm - Asheville: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Open mtg. Info: 277-8185. • TUESDAYS, 10:30amNoon - Asheville: Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. at Ottari. Open BBSS mtg. Info: 2802213. Pet Loss Support Group For anyone who has lost a pet or is anticipating the death of a companion animal. Free. Info: 258-3229. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - The group meets at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville in Jefferson House, 21 Edwin Pl. Red Cross Events & Classes Red Cross holds classes in CPR/First Aid for infants, children, and adults; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid; Bloodborne Pathogens; Swimming & Water Safety; and Lifeguarding. All classes held at chapter headquarters, 100 Edgewood Rd. To register, call 2583888, ext. 221. Info: www. redcrosswnc.org. : Bloodmobile Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required. • TH (12/31), 10am2:30pm - K-Mart, 1830 Hendersonville Road. Info: 274-3411. S-Anon For those affected by someone else’s sexual behavior. Info: 545-4287 or 606-6803. • WEEKLY - Three meetings are available per week. S-Anon Meetings S-Anon is a 12-step recovery program for partners, family and friends of sexaholics. We share our experience, strength and hope to help solve our common problems. Meetings held weekly in Asheville, Fletcher and Waynesville. Call confidential voice mail for information: 258-5117. • WEEKLY - Meetings. Sex Addicts Anonymous A fellowship of men and women recovering from addictive sexual behavior (physical and/or emotional). Meetings are held in downtown Asheville. Info: 800-477-8191 (live person Mon.-Fri. 11am-7pm) or 348-0284 to leave a local message for a return call. • SUNDAYS, 7pm Meeting. Sexaholics Anonymous SA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive

patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Call confidential voice mail 681-9250 or e-mail saasheville@gmail. com. Info: www.orgsites. com/nc/saasheville/. • DAILY - Asheville meetings. Step/Weights Class Free ongoing aerobics class with step, weights, resistance bands and stretches. Offered by Asheville Parks & Recreation to promote Asheville’s cardiovascular health. At Stephens-Lee Center (from S. Charlotte, turn on Max St. and go up the hill). Info: 350-2058. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:30-6:30pm - Step/Weights Class ending with mat work (stretches, yoga & pilates). All levels. Support Groups Sessions are led by Charlene Galvin, a board certified Chaplain. Love offering. Info: 329-3187 or chargalvin@hotmail.com. • THURSDAYS, 1011:30am - Living with Life Limiting Illness —- 1:303pm - Caregivers Support Group. The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity • MONDAYS, 5:15-6:30pm - A support group of persons who want to discover and recover their creative selves meets. Based on course developed by Julia Cameron. Info: rachael_ bliss@yahoo.com.

Helplines For Xpress’ list of helplines, visit www. mountainx.com/events/ category/helplines.

Garden N.C. Arboretum Events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs. Unless otherwise noted, all events are free with parking fee ($6/ vehicle). No parking fees on Tuesdays. Info: 665-2492 or www.ncarboretum.org. • Through (1/3), 10am4pm - “Winter Solstice and Holiday Plants” will be on display in the Baker Exhibit Greenhouse. Regional Tailgate Markets • For tailgate listings, visit www.mountainx. com/events and click on “Garden.” For more information, including the exact start and end dates of markets, contact the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project: 2361282 or www.buyappalachian.org.

Sports Groups & Activities Asheville Masters Swimming Competitive, fitness and triathlon swimmers welcome. Info: www.ashevillemasters. com • MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 5:45-7:15am - Practice at Asheville School. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:45-7:15am & SATURDAYS, 7-9am - Coached practices at Warren Wilson College. Disc Golf Check the kiosk at Richmond Hill Park for events and nearby tournaments. Info: 680-9626 or www.wncdiscgolf.com. • 1st TUESDAYS, 7pm - Club meeting. Moved from Mondays during the winter months. Pickleball It’s like playing ping pong on a tennis court. For all ages. $1 per session. Paddles and balls are provided. Info: 350-2058. • MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 9-11am - Meets at Stephens-Lee Rec Center, 30 George Washington Carver St. (take S. Charlotte to Max St.). Sports at UNCA Unless otherwise noted, all events are free and open to the public. Info: 251-6459. • SA (1/2), 2pm - UNCA Women’s Basketball vs. Coastal Carolina in the Justice Center. $8-$4. • MO (1/4), 7pm - UNCA Women’s Basketball vs. Charleston Southern in the Justice Center. $8-$4. • TH (1/7), 7pm - UNCA Men’s Basketball vs. Coastal Carolina in the Justice Center. $15/$10/$7 children. Women’s Indoor Trainer Sessions • MONDAYS, 6:15pm - Youngblood’s Trainer Sessions. Bring your own trainer; no roller, please. A few indoor trainers will be available for loan/rent ($10). Begin your winter conditioning program. Info: amy@ golightlydesigns.com or tdrews@trainright.com.

Kids Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $6/$5 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227 or www.ashevilleart.org.

28 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

• MO (12/28) through TH (12/31), 1-4pm - Holiday Arts Extravaganza for students in grades 1 through 4. Spend the afternoons creating art of all kinds. $18 members/$20 nonmembers. • MO (12/28) through TH (12/31), 1-4pm - Holiday Arts Extravaganza. Day campers will create art of all kinds. For students in grades 1-4. Registration required: call ext. 121 or 122. $18/$20 nonmembers per day. At The Health Adventure Free first Wed. of every month from 3-5pm. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm & Sun., 1-5pm. $8.50 adults/$7.50 students & seniors/$6 kids 2-11. Program info or to RSVP: 254-6373, ext. 324. Info: www.thehealthadventure. org. • Through SU (1/3) Explore the good, the bad and the ugly at Grossology: The (Impolite) Science of the Human Body. Explore why your body produces mushy, oozy, crusty and stinky gunk at this educational exhibition. • THURSDAYS, 10:3011:30am - Preschool Play Date. Interactive fun just for preschoolers led by museum facilitators. Free with admission. • SATURDAYS, 1-2pm - Experiment with science during Super Science Saturdays. Featuring handson activities led by museum facilitators, the programs are fun for all ages. Free with admission. Celebration Singers of Asheville Community children’s chorus for ages 7-14. For audition/performance info: 230-5778 or www.singasheville.org. • THURSDAYS, 6:307:45pm - Children’s chorus rehearsal at First Congregational Church, 20 Oak St., downtown Asheville. Earth Scouts for Kids Earth Scouts is an environmental education group that is fun and empowering. Kids ages 4 and up learn plant identification, medicine making and earth skills. • THURSDAYS, 6-7pm Meets at One World Healing Arts Institute, 2 Sulphur Springs Road, Asheville. Parents welcome. $10. Hands On! Gallery This children’s gallery is located at 318 North Main St. in Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am5pm. Admission is $5, with

discounts available on certain days. Info: 697-8333 or www.handsonwnc.org. • TH (12/31), 10am-Noon - “New Year’s at Noon.” Make noise makers in the Art Room then count down to New Year’s at 12pm with a parade around the museum. All ages are welcome. • TH (1/7) & FR (1/8), 3-5pm - “Up and Away,” a workshop where children explore the basics of flight. $15/$12 members. Haywood County Public Library System The main branch is located at 678 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. The county system includes branches in Canton, Maggie Valley, Fines Creek and Cruso. Info: 452-5169 or www. haywoodlibrary.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 11am - Family story time for children of all ages. Read books, sing songs, learn finger plays and more. Waynesville Parks and Recreation Info: 456-2030 or recyouth@townofwaynesville. org. • Through TH (12/31), 7am-5:30pm - Day Camp for children ages 5 through 12. $20 members/$35 nonmembers per day. Pack a lunch, two snacks, a swimsuit, towel, book and a blanket.

Spirituality 2010 • Mayan Teaching On The Days Out Of Time (pd.) Asheville: January 4, 11, 18, 25 and February 1 and 8, 6:30pm-9pm. Transorm your life, explore Mayan prophecy and the wonder and magic of Surfing the Mayan Calendar. Call for directions: Zoe Allison: (828) 284-0975. www.mayanrecordkeeper. com Astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA. (828) 258-3229. Attention Alternative Practitioners • Convenient Office Space (pd.) Samasati Healing Center, Montford Avenue. $450/month, includes all utilities. Call Tim: 279-6393 for information. Tuesday Afternoons • Study • Meditation • Great Tree Zen Temple (pd.) Study: 3:30pm • Meditation: 5:30pm. 679 Lower Flat Creek Road,

Alexander. Love offering. More information: 6452085 or www.greattreetemple.org Faerie Pathway Readings (pd.) Guidance from faeries, guardian angels, and spirit guides to help you rediscover the magic in your life. Faerie workshops also available. (828) 645-2674. www.davidswing.com A Course in Miracles • MONDAYS, 6:30-8:15pm - A truly loving group of people studying A Course in Miracles meets at Groce United Methodist Church on Tunnel Road. The group is open to all. Info: 712-5472. Advent Conspiracy Series • WEDNESDAYS (through 12/16), 6-7:30pm - Longing to simplify Christmas? Land of the Sky UCC invites you to spend less, give more, connect spiritually and resurrect the joy of Christmas. Combat commercialism, explore simple and meaningful family traditions, and serve others together. Info: www. losucc.org. Asheville Center for Transcendental Meditation/ An Evening of Knowledge Transcend the busy, active mind—effortlessly—for peace, bliss and full awakening of creative intelligence. The most effective, extensively researched meditation. Revitalizes mind/body, relieves worry and anxiety, improves brain functioning. Free Introduction. Info: 254-4350 or www.meditationasheville. org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:158:15pm - Introductory Talk: Access your deepest intelligence; compare meditation techniques; explore higher states of consciousness and total brain functioning; and learn about Scientific findings on TM’s health benefits. Held at 165 E. Chestnut St. Asheville Meditation Center Classes are held at the Greenlife Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave., unless otherwise noted. Info: 505-2300 or www. meditateasheville.org. • THURSDAYS, 6:307:30pm - Meditation Circle. Donations accepted. Awakening Practices Study the works of Eckhart Tolle and put words into action through meditation and discussion. Info: Trey@QueDox.com. • 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets at the EnkaCandler Library meeting room. Chabad Asheville

Jewish Asheville and WNC Chabad Lubavitch Center for Jewish Life, located at 660 Merrimon Ave. Info: www.chabadasheville.org. • 1st SATURDAYS, 9:30am-1:15pm - First Shabbat of the Month at The Chabad House. Services, English-Hebrew prayers, sermons and stories, and timeless melodies. Educational and fun children’s program from 11am-noon. Followed by a Kiddush luncheon. All are welcome. Membership and affiliation not required. Coalition of Earth Religions Events Info: 230-5069 or www. ceres-wnc.org. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 6:309pm - Pagans Night Out. Meet at the Bier Garden in downtown Asheville. Compassionate Communication Practice Group Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication. Group uses a model developed by Marshall Rosenberg in his book Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life. Free. Info: 252-0538 or www. ashevilleccc.com. • 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 5-6:15pm - Practice group for newcomers and experienced practitioners. Hare Krsna Sunday Feast Meets above the French Broad Food Co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave. Info: www. highthinkingsimpleliving.org or 506-2987. • Select SUNDAYS, 6-8pm - An evening of bhajans, class on the Bhagavad-Gita and a vegetarian feast. Everyone welcome. Refer to the Web site or call for dates. Land of the Sky United Church of Christ Located at Westminster Presbyterian Church, 15 Overbrook Place, in East Asheville. • SUNDAYS, 5-6pm - Women-led, justicefocused, family-friendly, and open to all. Worship with Land of the Sky UCC. An unconditional church. Mantras Cafe • 1st THURSDAYS, 6:30-8:30pm - Bring your favorite kirtan mantras, multi-cultural chants and soul-centered music. Open mike. Sign-up 6-6:30pm. At BoBo Gallery. Free or $3 donation. Mindfulness Meditation Class Explore the miracle of healing into life through


freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

One of my favorite landscape painters makes a livable wage from selling her art. She has had many gallery showings and has garnered much critical acclaim. That’s the good news. The bad news is that she feels obligated to keep churning out more landscape paintings — even when her muse nudges her to take a detour into, say, abstract expressionism or surrealistic portraits. Galleries don’t want anything from her except the stuff that has made her semifamous. “Sometimes I fantasize about creating a series of ‘Sock Puppet Monkeys Playing Poker,’” she told me. If she were an Aries, I’d advise her to do what I think you should do in 2010: Listen to what your version of the sockpuppet monkeys are urging you to do.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

My Taurus friend Jill had a dream in which she stopped by a blackberry bush on a summer afternoon. All the ripe blackberries were too high on the bush, just out of reach. She stood there gazing longingly up at them for a long time. Finally three people in medieval garb came by, as if having stepped out of a deck of Tarot cards — a warrior, magician and priestess. “I really want those blackberries,” she said to them. “Could you give me a boost?” They stooped down to make their backs available. She climbed up, but still couldn’t reach the berries. “Oh well, we tried,” she said. “Follow us,” said the priestess, and she did. After a while they came to another bush whose blackberries were lower and easy to pluck. Then the four shared the feast. After analyzing the omens for 2010, Taurus, I’ve come to the conclusion that Jill’s dream is an apt metaphor for your best possible destiny in 2010.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

“We should not think of our past as definitely settled, for we are not a stone or a tree,” wrote poet Czeslaw Milosz. “My past changes every minute according to the meaning given it now, in this moment.” I suggest you make abundant use of this wisdom in 2010. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will have unprecedented power to re-vision and reinterpret your past. Keep the following question in mind as you go about your work: “How can I recreate my history so as to make my willpower stronger, my love of life more intense, and my future more interesting?”

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

I think everyone should always have an improbable quest playing at the edges of their imagination — you know, some heroic task that provokes deep thoughts and rouses noble passions even if it also incites smoldering torment. I’m talking about an extravagant dream that’s perhaps a bit farfetched but not entirely insane; a goal that constantly rouses you to stretch your possibilities and open your mind further; a wild hope whose pursuit makes you smarter and stronger even if you never fully

accomplish it. The coming year would be an excellent time to keep such an adventure at the forefront of your awareness.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

A guy who goes by the name of “Winter” has made it his goal to visit every Starbucks in the world. According to his website, he has thus far ordered drinks in 9,874 stores. His project contrasts dramatically with an acquaintance of mine who calls herself “Indian Summer.” She is in the midst of a global pilgrimage to the hundreds of sites listed in Colin Wilson’s book The Atlas of Holy Places and Sacred Sites, including cave paintings, dolmens, medicine wheels, and temples. Guess which of these two explorers I’m nominating to be one of your inspirational heroes in 2010.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Scientific studies have proved what we all knew already: A person who’s only mildly interesting to you will probably become more attractive if you drink a couple of pints of beer. What if I told you, Virgo, that in 2010 you could regularly create the same effect without drinking the beer? I have it on good astrological authority that this will be the case. Due to fundamental shifts in your relationship with the life force, and having nothing to do with how much alcohol you consume, the entire world will often be at least 25 percent more attractive to you than it ever was before.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Your limitations will be among your greatest assets in 2010. Yes, you heard me right, Libra; I’m not speaking ironically or sarcastically. During the coming months, you will be able to benefit from circumstances that you might otherwise imagine would prevent you from operating with maximum freedom. It might require you to look at the world upside-down, or work in reverse to your habitual thought patterns, but you could actually generate interesting opportunities, vital teachings, and maybe even financial gain by capitalizing on your so-called liabilities.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“Dear Rob: I sure don’t like so much God stuff mixed into my horoscopes. Can you cut it out, please? I understand it’s common for the masses to believe in an Ultra Being, but you? Pul-lease. You’re smarter than that. I just can’t abide all the ‘Divine Wow’ this and ‘Cackling Goddess’ nonsense that you dispense; it doesn’t jibe with the practical, sensible, unsuperstitious, non-mushy world I hold dear. — Sally Scorpio.” Dear Sally: I predict that many Scorpios will have sensational, ongoing, up-close and personal communion with the Divine Wow in 2010. You’re free, of course, to call it something else, like an unprecedented eruption of creative energy or a breakthrough in your ability to access your own higher powers.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You Sagittarians may wander farther and wider than the other signs of the zodiac, and you may get itchier when required to stay in one place too long, but you still need a sense of belonging. Whether that comes from having a certain building where you feel comfortable or a wilderness that evokes your beloved adventurousness or a tribe that gives you a sense of community, you thrive when you’re in regular touch with a homing signal that keeps you grounded. According to my analysis, 2010 will be prime time for you to find or create or renew your connection to a source that serves this purpose well.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

“ am a man of fixed and unbending principles,” said American politician Everett Dirksen, “the first of which is to be flexible at all times.” That’s the kind of playful and resilient spirit I urge you to aspire to in 2010, Capricorn. I think you’re most likely to have a successful year if you regularly explore the joys of improvisation. The more empirical and less theorybound you’re willing to be, the better you’ll feel. Practicing the art of compromise doesn’t have to be galling, I promise you; it may even turn out to be more fun and educational than you imagined possible.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

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Who and what do you hold most dear, Aquarius? I encourage you to get clear about that. Once you do, I hope you’ll make a vow to bestow extra care and attention on them in 2010 — I mean literally write out a one-page oath in which you describe the inner states you will cultivate in yourself while you’re in their presence and the specific actions you’re going to take to help them thrive. Nothing else you do will be more important to your success in 2010.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

The philosopher Nietzsche said there was no middle ground: You either said “yes” to life or you said “no.” You either celebrated your vitality, enjoyed your power, and thrived on challenges, or else you practiced constant selfdenial, hemmed yourself in with deluded rationalizations, and tormented yourself with indecision. I’m not so sure it’s always as clear-cut as that. While I’m usually in the “yes to life” camp, I’ve gone through “no to life” phases, as well as some extended “maybe to life” times. What about you, Pisces? Whatever you’ve done in the past, I hope that in 2010 you will take maximum advantage of the cosmic rhythms, which will be encouraging you to give life a big, resounding, ongoing YES. To check out my expanded audio forecast of your destiny in 2010, go to RealAstrology. com. © Copyright 2009 Rob Brezsny

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 29


deepened stillness and presence. With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 258-3241 or www.billwalz.com. • MONDAYS, 7-8pm Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon Ave.). Donation. Mother Grove Events Info: 230-5069, info@ mothergroveavl.org or www.mothergroveavl.org. • MONDAYS - Book discussion group, facilitated by Antiga, on the book The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lemer. Info: 2859927. Mountain Zen Practice Center Exploring the ‘how’ of moment by moment peace, joy, and freedom through the practice of Conscious Compassionate Awareness. Info and Orientation times: www.mountainzen.org or 450-3621. • TUESDAYS, 7-8:30pm Meditation and discussion. Mystic Gatherings Share in the community of those who are governed both by logic and observing signs around them: gut, spirit, intuition or whatever That is. Bring your stories and experiences. Gatherings are dynamic and diverse and range from topics such as changes in our society to defining moments in life and much more. Info: 206-2009. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Meeting. Sojourner Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) A congregation in formation. The goal is provide a caring, non-threatening environment for the exploration of Christian spirituality. Info: www.sojournerchurch. org. • SUNDAYS, 9:30am - Worship —- 10:30am - Fellowship. Lower floor of Morningside Baptist Church, 14 Mineral Springs Road, Asheville. Taize Prayer Service Taize is meditative prayer: a mixture of quiet song, silence and scripture. Info: 285-0838. • 1st FRIDAYS, 7-8pm - Join the St. Eugene Taize Prayer ministry at St. Matthias Church, 1 Dundee St., Asheville (off Max St., which is off Charlotte St.). Toning for Peace Lift your voice in free-form [removed]to generate wellbeing and peace for the greater benefit of our ever-

evolving planet). $5-$10. Info: 667-2967 or www. toningforpeace.org. • SA (1/2), 1:30-2:45pm - Lift your voice in free-form expression to generate well-being and peace for the planet. Held at the Sacred Embodiment Center, 31 Carolina Ln. $5-10 suggested donation. Info: www.toningforpeace.org or 667-2967. • 1st SATURDAYS, 1:302:45pm - At the Sacred Embodiment Center in Asheville. Transmission Meditation Group Join in this group meditation for your own personal spiritual growth, as well as the healing and transformation of the planet. Info: 318-8547. • TUESDAYS, 6:30pm Meditation for personal and spiritual growth. Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville Located at the corner of Charlotte St. & Edwin Pl. Info: 254-6001 or www. uuasheville.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:15am & 11:15am - Services and Children’s Programs. Unity Cafe Looking for a change from the usual Sunday service? Spiritual conversation and sharing, music, meditation, coffee and pastry. Info: 645-0514, 676-6070 or unitycafe.org. • 1st, 3rd & 5th SUNDAYS, 10am-Noon - Greenlife Grocery Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave. Unity Center Events Celebrate joyful, mindful living in a church with heart. Contemporary music by Lytingale and The Unitic Band. Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Rd. Info: 684-3798, 891-8700 or www.unitync.net. • WE (12/30), 7pm Labyrinth Walk: Discover the healing, magical power of this ancient energy pattern. Led by Sam Richardson. Love offering. • TH (12/31), 6pm - “New Year’s Eve Celebrations at Unity Center.” Enjoy a potluck supper and a burning bowl service, where old-life issues are released. Bring a dish to share. Childcare provided. • WE (1/6), 7pm - Film screening: Kilowatt Ours, a documentary about coal and energy consumption in American. Love offering. Windhorse Zen Community Meditation, Dharma talks, private instruction available Tuesday and Thursday evenings, residential training. Teachers: Lawson Sachter

and Sunya Kjolhede. Main center: 580 Panther Branch, Alexander. City center: 12 Von Ruck Court. Call for orientation. Info: 645-8001 or www.windhorsezen.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:30-11am - Meditation, chanting and a Dharma talk. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7-9pm Meditation and chanting. • FRIDAYS, 5:30-7:15pm - Meditation and chanting at the City Center.

Art Gallery Exhibits & Openings 16 Patton Gallery hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., 1-6pm (open on Sun. MayOct. only). Info: 236-2889 or www.16patton.com. • Through SA (1/2) Inspirations, an exhibit by Signe Grushovenko. Aesthetic Gallery Located at 6 College St., across the street from Pritchard Park, in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., Noon-6pm. Info: 398-0219 or www.aestheticgallery. com. • Through SU (1/31) - Environ/Mental Disorder, abstract artist Cliff Yudell’s take on mountain development. New oil paintings on view. Asheville Area Arts Council The Asheville Area Arts Council (AAAC) is at 11 Biltmore Ave. Info: 2580710 or www.ashevillearts. com. • Through MO (1/4) -New work by Meg Manderson, Gloria Gaffney, Mark Holland and Heather Lewis will be on display. Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $6/$5 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227 or www.ashevilleart.org. • Through SU (5/9) - Lorna Blaine Halper: The Space Between will be on display in Holden Community Gallery. Asheville Gallery of Art A co-op gallery representing 28 regional artists located at 16 College St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: 251-5796 or www.ashevillegallery-of-art.com. • Through TH (12/31) - New Juried Members Exhibit, featuring work by Kathryn Phillips, Joyce Schlapkohl, Maggie

Robinson, Christine Dickey Longoria, Karen Keil Brown and Marsha Balbier. • SA (1/2) through TH (1/31) - Beneath the Surface, featuring work by a number of emerging UNCA artists in a variety of media. Bella Vista Art Gallery Located in Biltmore Village, next to the parking lot of Rezaz’s restaurant. Open Mon.-Thurs., 11am-5pm, and Fri. & Sat., 10am-6pm. Info: 768-0246 or www. bellavistaart.com. • Through TH (12/31) - New works: Becky and Steve Lloyd, hand-carved porcelain. New works: Judson Guerard, blown glass. New works: Kathleen Burke, encaustic. Featured wall artist: Sara Linda Poly, landscapes. • FR (1/1) through SU (1/31) - Feature wall artist: Galen Frost Bernard. New waterscapes by Bethanne Cople. Black Mountain Center for the Arts Located in the renovated Old City Hall at 225 West State St. in Black Mountain. Info: 669-0930 or www. blackmountainarts.org. • Through FR (1/29) - 2nd Annual Pottery Show in the Upper Gallery. Works by teachers, students and community members from the Black Mountain Center for the Arts Clay Studio. Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway, and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College through permanent collections, educational activities and public programs. Info: 350-8484, bmcmac@bellsouth.net or www.blackmountaincollege.org. • Through SA (2/6) - Past Presence, an exhibition exploring five important aspects of the Black Mountain College story. Blue Spiral 1 The gallery at 38 Biltmore Ave. is open Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm. Info: 251-0202 or www.bluespiral1.com. • Through TH (12/31) - Fall Salon: Sculptural glass, abstract paintings and curvilinear mixed-media wall installations from six regional artists —- Ceramic sculpture and textiles by Heather Allen-Swarttouw —- Paintings by Taiyo la Paix —- Wood-Fired Clay: Contemporary approaches to a time-honored tradition by several artists —- Basketry by Carole Hetzel, Deborah Muhl and Lee Sipe. Castell Photography

30 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

A photo-based art gallery located at 2C Wilson Alley, off of Eagle St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 255-1188 or www.castellphotography. com. • Through SA (1/23) - The first annual juried exhibition of UNCA Student Photography will be on display. The group show features the work of emerging artists in the UNCA photography department. Exhibits at the Turchin Center Appalachian State University’s Turchin Center for the Visual Arts is at 423 West King St. in Boone. Info: 262-3017 or www. tcva.org. • Through SA (1/16) - Plastic Flame Press, the exhibit presents a progression of designer Chris Williams’ work —- African Vailet: Olivia “Holly” Pendergast —- SAQA: 12 Voices, a traveling exhibit of the Studio Art Quilt Association. • Through SA (2/6) - 225 F: Encaustic Encounters, featuring encaustic paintings —- Collective Dialogues: New work from The Collective on Depot —- Brush & Palette: Artists Unmasked, a representation of the Brush and Palette Art Club members’ works. Forever Gallery 98 N. Lexington Ave., Asheville. Info: 236-1681. • Through FR (1/15) - Progressive original paintings will be on display. Grovewood Gallery Located at 111 Grovewood Road, Asheville. Info: 2537651 or www.grovewood. com. • Through TH (12/31) New fiber-art wall hangings by LINT (Ladies in New Textiles) will be on display. Haen Gallery Located at 52 Biltmore Ave., downtown Asheville. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am6pm, Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., Noon-5pm. Info: 2548577 or www.thehaengallery.com. • Through SU (1/31) - The group exhibition A Wintry Mix will be on display. Haywood County Arts Council The HCAC sponsors a variety of art-related events in Waynesville and Haywood County. Unless otherwise noted, showings take place at HCAC’s Gallery 86 (86 North Main St.) in Waynesville. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: 452-0593 or www.haywoodarts.org. • Through SA (1/2) - It’s A Small, Small Work, an exhi-

bition of artwork 12 inches or smaller by WNC artists. Window Gallery 58 Broadway, Asheville. Info: 505-8000. • SA (1/2) through SA (1/30) - Noah Park exhibition of works on paper. • SA (1/2), 6-9pm Opening reception.

More Art Exhibits & Openings Art at Ananda Hair Studio The salon, located at 22 Broadway, hosts rotating art exhibits. Info: 232-1017. • Through SA (1/2) - Red Moon Rising Studios presents Be Love, a textile art and fashion show by Stack. Art at the N.C. Arboretum Works by members of the Asheville Quilt Guild and regional artists are on display daily in The Visitor Education Center. Info: 6652492 or www.ncarboretum. org. • Through MO (2/22) - Celebrating Rivers and Streams, paintings by Sue Sweterlitsch, will be on display in the Education Center, 2nd floor. • Through SU (1/3) Building Small: American Folk Art Houses and Structures will be on display in the Baker Center. Asheville Community Theatre • Through TU (2/2) - Miscellaneous Nothing, an art exhibit by Gayle Paul, will be on display in the Asheville Community Theatre lobby, 35 E. Walnut St. Info: 254-1320. Christmas in Stained Glass • Through TH (12/31) - Pam McCorkhill, owner of Blue Mountain Stained Glass in Arden, will be the featured artist in an exhibit called Christmas in Stained Glass, featuring 40 original designs in the lobby of the Brevard Transylvania County Library. f/32 Photography Group Info: www.f32nc.com. • Through MO (1/4) - An exhibit by the members of this fine photography group will be held at Deerpark on the Biltmore Estate.

Classes, Meetings & Arts-Related Events Attention Artists and Photographers! (pd.) Need your work Captured, Reproduced, or Printed? Digital Resolutions Group specializes in highquality large format digital photography, outstanding fine art reproduction and printing. (828) 670-5257 or visit www.ashevilledigital. com

Appalachian Pastel Society Workshop (pd.) Sunday & Monday, January 10 & 11, 2010. APS Two-Day Workshop: Finding Your Artistic Voice Workshop Instructor: Luana Luconi Winner 9:00 am - 4:00 pm, WNC Ag Center $100.00 one day, $185.00 for both Sunday and Monday (plus $25 for nonmembers). For registration, email karen@soapshed. com, or go to APS website under ‘workshops’; http:// www.appalachian-pastelsociety.org/January10APS. pdf Courtyard Gallery An eclectic art and performance space located at 9 Walnut St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 273-3332 or www.ashevillecourtyard. com. • SUNDAYS, 7-10pm - Free Open Studio Night. Bring sketchbooks, canvas, easel, drawing board and art supplies. Work in the medium of your choice in a relaxed setting. Still life and occasional portrait modeling. Free coffee and tea. Info: 707-1859. Elevate Life & Art School • WEEKLY - Classes for varied ages in drama, guitar, graphic design, web design, life drawing, acrylic painting, sign language, video editing, sewing and fashion design, choir, dance, keyboard, photography. $5/class. Info: www. elevatelifeandart.com or 277-1637. Laurel Chapter of the Embroiderers’ Guild of America Holds monthly meetings and smaller groups dedicated to teaching different types of needlework. The chapter is also involved in numerous outreach projects. Guests are always welcome at meetings. Info: 654-9788 or www.egacarolinas.org. • TH (1/7), 9:30am Registration followed by a short business meeting and a program. The program will be the first part of a two-part series on making a petite canvas project titled “A Winter Scene.” A kit fee will be charged. At Cummings United Methodist Church in Horse Shoe. Swannanoa Valley Fine Arts League Classes are held at the studio, 999 W. Old Rt. 70, Black Mountain. Info: svfal. info@gmail.com or www. svfal.org. • THURSDAYS, Noon-3pm - Experimental Art Group. Experimental learning

and sharing water-media techniques and collage. $20 for four sessions or $6/session. • FRIDAYS, 10am-1pm Open studio for figure drawing. Small fee for model. • MONDAYS, Noon-3pm - Open studio for portrait painting. Small fee for model.

Spoken & Written Word Buncombe County Public Libraries LIBRARY ABBRVIATIONS - Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n BM = Black Mountain Library (105 N. Dougherty St., 250-4756) n EC = Enka-Candler Library (1404 Sandhill Road, 250-4758) n NA = North Asheville Library (1030 Merrimon Avenue, 250-4752) n SS = Skyland/South Buncombe Library (260 Overlook Road, 250-6488) n WV = Weaverville Library (41 N. Main Street, 250-6482) • MO (1/14) - Deadline to apply to win a hair makeover. To apply: Write down your name, address, phone number and include three words (along with their definitions) of how you would like to feel after the makeover. Contact the library for details. BM. • TU (1/5), 1-3pm - Sit and Knit. WV —- 4:30pm - An educational seminar on affordable giving will be presented by Joel B. Adams Jr. Tea and light refreshments will be served. NA —- 7pm - Book Club: Fair and Tender Ladies by Lee Smith WV —- 6:30-8pm - Library Knitters meets. SS —- 7pm - Book Club: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. EC. • WE (1/6), 11:30am Book Club: The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. WV. Events at Malaprop’s The bookstore and cafe at 55 Haywood St. hosts visiting authors for talks and book signings. Info: 2546734 or www.malaprops. com. • SU (1/3), 3pm Madeleine Kay will discuss Serendipitously Rich: How to Get Delightfully, Delectably, Deliciously Rich (or Anything Else You Want) in 7 Ridiculously Easy Steps. • TH (1/7), 5:30pm - Warren Wilson MFA Program reading featur-


newsoftheweird Lead story But What If the Device Falls Into the Wrong Hands? A 55-year-old British man whose bowel was ruptured in a nearly catastrophic traffic accident has been fitted with a bionic sphincter operated by a remote controller. Ged Galvin had originally endured 13 surgeries during a 13-week hospital stay and had grown frustrated with using a colostomy bag. According to London’s Daily Mail, surgeon Norman Williams of the Royal London Hospital wrapped a muscle transplanted from Galvin’s leg around the sphincter and attached electrodes to tighten or loosen the muscle’s grip.

Unreformed health care system

The Wisconsin Department of Corrections decided in October that it (i.e. taxpayers) should fund complex facial reconstruction surgery for inmate Daryl Strenke, who’s serving 30 years after pleading guilty to murdering his girlfriend. In apparent remorse over the killing, Strenke had shot himself in the face, severely disfiguring his mouth and jaw and making it nearly impossible for him to eat or speak normally.

Britain’s safety weenies

• (1) In November, the Solihull Council in Britain’s West Midlands county ordered a flooring store to remove the festive balloons it had pinned out front to attract business, calling them hazards. Drivers might be distracted by the colors, and if a balloon came loose, it might float into traffic and lure a child to follow it, councilors explained. (2) In October, Britain’s Association of Chief Police Officers prepared a 93-page book advising bicycle-duty officers how to ride a bike, including a diagram on how to turn left or right (“deployment into a junction”). Following widespread ridicule, the association decided in November not to release the guide. • Examiners from Britain’s Health and Safety Executive, inspecting bowling alleys for hazards, considered recommendations (according to a November Daily Mail report) that included erecting barriers over the lanes to prevent bowl-

ers from wandering the alleys and perhaps getting caught in pin-setting machines (or, one inspector feared, injuring themselves trying to knock over pins by hand). The barriers would leave space for the ball to roll under.

The science of sex

• Wake Forest University’s Institute of Regenerative Medicine, which has successfully grown human bladders in the lab using only a few extracted cells sprayed onto a chemical frame that mimics the body’s tissues, has so far been unsuccessful at regenerating penises because of the organ’s complexity. In a November journal article, however, it announced a success with rabbit penises. Four of the 12 rabbits with lab-grown phalluses successfully impregnated females, and all 12 began mating within one minute of meeting females. • Occasionally, people lose their short-term memory following vigorous sex, according to doctors interviewed for a November CNN report on “transient global amnesia.” The condition occurs because blood flow to the brain is restricted by the strenuous activity, temporarily disabling the hippocampus from recording new memory. One sufferer, “Alice,” recalled her experience, recounting how she initially cracked a joke about being unable to remember how good the sex was that she just had, and then supposedly repeated the joke over and over, each time as if she had just thought of it.

Common sense takes a vacation

(1) Three men were convicted in August in Kansas City, Mo., of having persuaded “numerous” customers to buy 3-inch-by-4-inch laminated “diplomat” cards that, promoters said, would legally free them from ever having to pay taxes or being arrested for any crime. According to the FBI, customers ponied up fees ranging from $450 to $2,000 to get the cards. (2) Dr. Yehu Azaz, a wealthy, respected

Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www.weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

physician, gave up his career in 1991 and gave away all his possessions under the spell of guru Rena Denton’s spiritual healing center in Somerset, England. In a 2009 lawsuit to recover his wealth, Azaz said that despite being an educated professional, he didn’t realize what he’d done until 2003, because he’d been “unduly influenced” by the aged guru. (A judge tossed out the lawsuit in July.)

What is it about septic systems?

Scottish pig farmer Peter Roy, 72, is embroiled in a long-standing dispute with the Perth and Kinross Council over who’s responsible for repairing the sewage system on his farm in Craigmuir. To the outrage of neighbors, Roy has saved his sewage in oil barrels (now numbering about 80) stored on his property, periodically leaving full barrels around town.

People with too much money

After Nicolas Cage filed a lawsuit against him for mismanaging the actor’s money, Cage’s former business manager, Samuel Levin, filed his defense in November, charging Cage with creating his own problems by disregarding Levin’s advice. According to Levin, Cage’s 2007 purchases included three houses (costing $33 million), 22 cars (including nine Rolls-Royces) and 47 works of art. By 2008, said Levin, Cage owned 15 houses, four yachts, a Gulfstream jet and an island in the Bahamas.

Least-competent criminals

Better Planning Needed: (1) Brier Cutlip, 22, and Paul Bragg, 25 — both on parole and barred from possessing firearms — were re-arrested in December in Elkins, W.Va., when they showed up for a parole appointment. They were just back from a day of hunting, however, and were still wearing orange vests, alerting the parole officer to the fact that they’d been firing guns all day. (2) Grandville Lindsey, 30, on probation in Beaumont, Texas, after a child-sex conviction and prohibited from visiting any social-networking Web sites, was re-arrested in November when he sent a Twitter alert to a woman he’d met while in the probation office, asking to include her as an online “friend.”

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ing Dean Bakopoulos, Marianne Boruch, Liam Callanan, Gabrielle Calvocoressi, Stephen Dobyns, C.J. Hribal, Maurice Manning, Debra Spark Megan Staffel, Sarah Stone and Eleanor Wilner. For Accomplished Asheville Writers Seeking other serious writers for critique group. Mostly fiction and nonfiction. Info: 658-8217. • Alternate THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Group meets. Haywood County Public Library System The main branch is located at 678 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. The county system includes branches in Canton, Maggie Valley, Fines Creek and Cruso. Info: 452-5169 or www. haywoodlibrary.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 1:30pm - Ready 4 Learning. A story time designed for 4 and 5-year-olds with a focus on kindergarten readiness. This story time runs Sept.-May. • THURSDAYS, 11am - Movers & Shakers. This story time for active 2-3 year olds incorporates dance, physical activity, songs and age-appropriate books. • TUESDAYS, 11am - Family story time at the Fines Creek Branch Library. We will read books, tell stories, learn songs and finger plays, and do a simple craft. Info: 627-0146. • TUESDAYS, 11:15am - Family story time for children of all ages at the Canton Branch Library. We will read books, listen to songs, and learn finger plays. Info: 648-2924. MFA Program Events at Warren Wilson College The public is welcome to attend the lectures and readings in fiction and poetry offered during the Master of Fine Arts Program for Writers’ winter residency. All events are held in the Fellowship Hall behind the WWC Chapel, unless otherwise noted. Free. Info: 771-3715. • SA (1/2), 8pm - Readings by MFA faculty and graduating students Dean Bakopoulos, Mary Leader, Anthony Doerr and Ellen Bryant Voigt in Gladfelter, Canon Lounge. • SU (1/3), 11:15am - “The Sound of Shakespeare Thinking,” a lecture with James Longenbach —8:15 - Readings by C.J. Hribal, Marianne Boruch, Alix Ohlin and Maurice Manning. Both events will

be held in Gladfelter, Canon Lounge. • MO (1/4), 9:30am - “A Sense of Space,” a lecture with Stephen Dobyns —8:15pm - Reading by David Haynes, Martha Rhodes, Dominic Smith and Eleanor Wilner. • TU (1/5), 9:30am “Taking Sides: Structural Conflict,” a lecture with Sarah Stone —- 8:15pm Readings by Debra Spark, Rick Barot, Megan Staffel and Stephen Dobyns. • WE (1/6), 9:30am “Defiance and Pleasure in Visual Writing,” a lecture with Mary Leader —10:45am - “The Waiting is the Hardest Part: Dead Air, Denial, & Duende,” a lecture with Dean Bakopoulos —- 8:15pm - Readings by Karen Brennan, Jennifer Grotz, Liam Callanan, James Longenbach and Kevin McIlvoy. Tuesday Morning Poems • TUESDAYS, 8:30-8:50am - Meditation —- 8:509:20am - Poetry reading. Introduce meditation and poetry into your week. Plus, Laura Hope-Gill will read selections from The Soul Tree. Held at 84 N. Lexington Ave. $5 suggested donation for Wordfest. Info: www.writemindinstitute.com. Turning Your Life Into Literature • TUESDAYS (1/5 through 2/9), 10am-Noon - Writing Seminar: Learn about basic storytelling dynamics with Jim Chatham at New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Skyland. $10-$100 donations benefit MANNA, Hospice and Habitat for Humanity. Info: 274-0191 or jamesochatham@gmail. com. Writers’ Workshop Events WW offers a variety of classes and events for beginning and experienced writers. Info: 254-8111 or www.twwoa.org. • Through WE (12/30) - Deadline for the “Fantasy & Science Fiction Contest.” $5 reading fee.

Holidays Christmas in Stained Glass • Through TH (12/31) - Pam McCorkhill, owner of Blue Mountain Stained Glass in Arden, will be the featured artist in an exhibit called Christmas in Stained Glass, featuring 40 original designs in the lobby of the Brevard Transylvania County Library. Conscious New Year’s Eve Party

• TH (12/31), 7:30pm2am - Conscious New Year’s Eve Party at Camp Rockmont with reggae bands Chalwa and Satta Lions, midnight fireworks and vegetarian potluck and late-night drumming circle. Intoxication-free. $25/Free for kids under 12. Bring dish. Reservations suggested: roskind@boone.net. Holiday Events at Grove Park Inn Located at 290 Macon Ave. in Asheville. Info: 252-2711 or www.groveparkinn.com. • Through SU (1/3) - Entries from the 17th annual National Gingerbread House Competition will be on display. Community viewing is Mon.-Thurs., 10am-10pm. Holiday Events at the Grove Arcade Info: www.grovearcade. com. • Through SU (1/3) Thirty-five houses from the annual National Gingerbread House Competition will be on display.

Music African Drumming With Billy Zanski at Skinny Beats Drum Shop, 4 Eagle St., downtown Asheville. Drums provided. No experience necessary. Suggested donation $10 per class. Drop-ins welcome. Info: 768-2826. • WEDNESDAYS, 6-7pm - Beginners. • SUNDAYS, 1-2pm - Intermediates —- 2-3pm - Beginners. Country, Bluegrass and More • 1st & 3rd SATURDAYS, 7pm-until - At the Woodfin Community Center. Alcohol and smoke-free, familyfriendly. Free admission. Snack bar available. Bands welcome. Info: 505-4786. Land-of-the-Sky Barbershop Chorus For men age 12 and older. Info: www.ashevillebarbershop.com or 768-9303. • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Open Rehearsals at Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 51 Wilburn Pl. Madison County Arts Council Events MCAC is located at 90 S. Main St. in Marshall. Info: 649-1301 or www.madisoncountyarts.com. • TH (12/31), 8pm - Oldtime and bluegrass band The Sons of Ralph will perform a special New Year’s Eve show. An “end of recession” late-night snack complete with black-eyed peas and collard greens will be served. $10.

Music at UNCA • TH (1/7), 4:15pm - The Asheville Chamber Music Series lecture presents “La Catrina Quartet” in the Reuter Center. Free. Song O’ Sky Chorus (Sweet Adelines International) The chorus is always looking for women 18+ who want to learn how to sing barbershop harmony. Please visit a rehearsal. Info: 1-866-824-9547 or www.songosky.org. • MONDAYS, 6:30-8:30pm - Holiday Harmony. Learn how to sing selected holiday songs. With only four easy sessions, you will be ringing chords like a pro. Registration recommended. $20/$15/$10.

Theater Theater at UNCA Performances take place in Lipinsky Auditorium, unless otherwise noted. • MO (1/4), 2pm - N.C. Stage Company will read through the play Beauty Queen of Leenae in the Reuter Center. Free. Info: 251-6140.

Film Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 2558115 or www.firestormcafe.com. • MO (1/4), 8pm - Free screening of True Stories, a musical by David Byrne.

Dance Asheville Ballroom & Dance Centre • Learn to Dance! (pd.) Groups and Privates available. For more information call (828) 274-8320. www.ashevilleballroom. com Argentine Tango Dancers of all levels welcome. Info: www.tangoasheville.com. • 1st & 3rd SATURDAYS, 7:30-10pm - Argentine Tango Milongas (Social Dance) at Filo Pastries, 1155 Tunnel Rd. $5 for members/$6 for nonmembers. • 1st SUNDAYS, 7-10pm Argentine Tango Practica at Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. $5 for members/$6 for non-members. Asheville Jewish Community Center Events The JCC is located at 236 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 253-0701. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - Beginning folk dance lessons. Families especially welcome —- 8-9:30pm Not-so-beginning folk dance

32 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

lessons. Led by instructor Erik Bendix and other guest teachers. $4 members/$6 public. Info: erikbendix@ hotmail.com or 450-1670. Classes at Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre Classes are by donation and on a drop-in basis. Classes are held at the New Studio of Dance, 20 Commerce St. in downtown Asheville. Info: www.acdt. org or 254-2621. • MONDAYS, 6:30-7:30pm - Beginning adult tap dancing with Joe Mohar —7:30-8:30pm - Intermediate adult tap dancing. $20. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 6-7:30pm - Modern classes. By donation. Donation Classes at Asheville Dance Revolution Sponsored by The Cultural Development Group. At 63 Brook St. Info: 277-6777 or ashevilledancerevolution@ gmail.com. • TUESDAYS, 8-9:15pm - Beginning/Intermediate Adult Jazz. • FRIDAYS, 4-5pm - Boys Dance Combo Class. This is for boys interested in dance. The class touches on all styles of dance for the male dancer —- 67:30pm - African dance with Sarah Yancey featuring live drumming. Open to all. $14. English Country & American Dance Dance to live music with a caller. A mixture of English Country and American dances that include vintage contras, sicilian circles, New England squares, circle mixers and waltzes. No partner necessary. Comfortable shoes and clothing. Beginners welcome. $6. Info: 230-8449. • 1st & 3rd SUNDAYS, 3-5:30pm - Dance at the Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. Hunab Kru Dance Studio The studio is devoted to the art commonly known as break dancing. Located at 4 Business Park Circle, Arden. Info: 215-3159 or bboyeducator@gmail.com. • MONDAYS through SUNDAYS - B-boy and bgirl classes will be offered throughout the week for children ages 5-9, ages 10 and up, and for adults. $15 for drop-in classes/$5 open floor sessions. Info: 654-7890. InterPlay Held at 227 Edgewood Ave. $5-$15 per class. Info: www.interplaync.org. • 1st FRIDAYS, 7-9pm - Deep Play: “Let the brains in the body dance, babble

sing and play while gaining confidence.” Prior experience recommended. Morris Dancing Learn English traditional Morris dances and become a member of one of three local teams as a dancer or musician. Music instruction provided to experienced musicians. Free. Info: 994-2094 or www.ashevillemorris.us. • MONDAYS, 5:30pm - Women’s Garland practice held at Reid Center for Creative Art. Rave.olutioN V: The Fifth Dimension • WE (12/30), 9pm-2am Rave.olutioN is a revolutionary dance party taking place in Biltmore Village. There will be loud music, dancing, black-lights, strobes, lazers, fog. $5, glow sticks will be provided with admission. Info: info@jointheraveolution.com. Southern Lights SDC A nonprofit square-dance club. Square dancing is friendship set to music. Info: 625-9969 or 6984530. • SA (1/2), 7pm - Early rounds —- 7:30pm - Squares and rounds. Caller: Stan Russell. At the Whitmire Activity Building on Lily Pond Road in Hendersonville. Studio Zahiya Classes Classes are held at Studio Zahiya, 41 Carolina Lane. All classes are drop-in anytime. $12 per class. $40 for four classes, with other discounts available. Info: 242-7595. • Through TU (1/5) - No classes. • THURSDAYS, 6:307:30pm - Bhangra! A highenergy dance from Punjab, India influence by dancehall, hip hop and Bollywood films. • TUESDAYS, 6-7pm Beginner belly dance. Learn the basics of belly dance. This class will cover posture and basic movements —- 7:10-8:10pm - Drills & Skills. Get ready to sweat, workout and practice your intermediate/advanced belly dance. Swing Asheville Info: www.swingasheville. com, 301-7629 or dance@ swingasheville.com. • TUESDAYS, 6-7pm - Beginner swing dance lessons. Lindy Hop style. $10/person per week for a 4-week series. No partner necessary. Let your inner dancer out. 11 Grove St, downtown Asheville. Class series starts the first Tuesday of every month.

VFW Upstairs. Open to the public. At 5 Points, 860 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Info: 693-5930. • SATURDAYS, 6pm - Free dancing lessons —- 7pm - Live band music and dancing. $7. All singles welcome. No partners necessary. Finger food and sweets provided. No alcohol or smoking in dancing area.

Auditions & Call to Artists Appalachian Mountain Photography Competition • Through FR (1/29) Deadline for submissions. Cash prizes will be awarded and selected works will hang in exhibition at the Turchin Center for the Visual Arts in Boone. Info: 262-4954 or www.appvoices.org. To enter: www. appmtnphotocomp.org. Arts Council of Henderson County D. Samuel Neill Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 1-5pm and Sat., 1-4pm. Located at 538 N. Main St., 2nd Floor, Hendersonville. Info: 6938504 or www.acofhc.org. • FR (1/29) & MO (2/1), 1-5:30pm - Entries may be dropped off for the “Art Teachers Create” exhibit. All media accepted. Contact the council to receive an artist prospectus. Asheville Community Theatre Located at 35 East Walnut St. Tickets & info: 2541320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org. • SU (1/3), 4-6pm & MO (1/4), 6-8pm - Auditions for The Boxcar Children. Seeking four students (8+ years) and 10 adults (all ages); families encouraged to audition. Show dates: weekends March 5-21 + two school matinees. Scripts available at ACT. Call for “Art on Transit” Bus Graphics Program • Through WE (1/20) - Application deadline. The City of Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Department invites all area artists to submit artwork. The juried competition offers artists the chance to have their work displayed on the exterior of a City of Asheville bus. To apply: www.callforentry.org. Call for Dancers • Dancers of any technique or style needed for the 2nd annual 48 Hour Dance Project Feb. 26-28. E-mail office@acdt.org, jamielscott@yahoo.com or call 254-2621 for more

info or if you would like to participate.

Call to Artists for Flat Rock Playhouse Craft Show • Through SA (1/30) - Artist application deadline for the first Flat Rock Playhouse Craft Show to be held in May. A juried show of fine, contemporary craft. $20 jury fee. Applications can be downloaded at www.flatrockplayhouse.org. Montford Park Players Seeks Directors • Through TH (12/31) - Seeking directors for the 2010 outdoor season. Interested candidates should request a guidelines packet by e-mailing info@ montfordparkplayers.org. Proposals are due by Dec. 31. Info: 254-5146. Performers Needed • Seeking m/f dancers with musical and theatrical talent for upcoming performances. Must be ok with adult and queer content. No nudity required, just a desire to have fun. Auditions by appointment through the end of the year: spyce618@gmail.com or 401-419-2850.

Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 South Caldwell St. in Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am4pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org. • Through MO (1/11) - Local and regional artists are invited to submit artwork for an open show with the theme “Where I Live.” Call to get an application mailed to you. • Call to artists for new gallery exhibits in 2010. Open to all Transylvania County and WNC artists as long as the artwork fits the theme of the show. Contact the council for more info.

CALENDAR DEADLINE The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)2511333, ext. 365


greenscene Where weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been

â&#x20AC;&#x153;WWC Students Tackle Climate Change One House at a Time,â&#x20AC;? March 18 In the alternate universe of the graphic novel (and new movie) Watchmen, angst-ridden heroes clad in tights, capes and masks fret about the state of humanity and their place in a sinister world. Warren Wilson Collegeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s young weatherization heroes evince no such sentiments, though they do sport safety masks and loads of can-do spirit. During spring break, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve set the ambitious goal of weatherizing five homes in five days. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all part of the INSULATE! program, which aims to help those area residents who need it most, student coordinator Ian Higgins explains.

Reviewing the yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top environmental news

In the news: In December 2008, a catastrophic spill of coal-ash sludge in Tennessee focused attention on similar facilities in North Carolina, such as Progress Energyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Arden plant, shown here. The EPA subsequently evaluated all such facilities nationwide, saying more information was needed about the older of the Arden plantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s two dams. photo by Jonathan Welch

Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s end is a time for reflection: in this case, looking back over 12 monthsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; worth of Green Scene. Online, the most-viewed story was â&#x20AC;&#x153;Arsenic Found in Stream Near Progress Energy Plantâ&#x20AC;? (Feb. 11). In print, the most recurring topic was the contamination at the old CTS plant on Mills Gap Road â&#x20AC;&#x201D; from a public hearing in Skyland hosted by Rep. Heath Shuler to the discovery of extremely high levels of trichloroethylene in a neighboring residential well. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a rundown of those and other top stories from 2009. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Arsenic Found in Stream Near Progress Energy Plant,â&#x20AC;? Feb. 11 Elevated arsenic levels have been found in a preliminary sampling of water and sediment collected downstream from Progress Energyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Skyland power plant and coal-ash pond. A water sample taken from an unnamed French Broad River tributary nearby contained arsenic at slightly above

the permissible level for surface waters â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and seven times higher than the U.S. Environmental Protection Agencyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s limit for drinking water, says Steve Patch, director of UNCAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Environmental Quality Institute. Patch and a research assistant also collected a sediment sample that yielded a more alarming arsenic level of 258 parts per million. Ironically, five months after collecting the samples and testing the water, Patch learned that the UNCA-based institute would be closed in the wake of a round of statewide budget cuts. Xpress had requested the sampling after the catastrophic failure of a retaining wall near Knoxville, Tenn., highlighted the lack of regulation of toxic coal ash from power plants. On Dec. 22, 2008, some 1 billion gallons of coal sludge flooded at least a dozen homes in a 400-acre area (see Xpress online posts â&#x20AC;&#x153;Coal Slurry for a Tennessee Christmasâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;HuffPo: Arsenic 35 to 300 Times Drinking Water Standard After Tenn. Coal Ash Disasterâ&#x20AC;?).

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Well of Discontent: New Findings in the CTS Case,â&#x20AC;? Sept. 9. Despite lying less than half a mile from a contamination source thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been under investigation since the 1990s, the Bradley familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drinking well had never been tested when David Bradley noticed some folks drilling across the street from his south Asheville home in midAugust. [He] asked the crew to sample his familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 500-foot-deep well. They did, and the results indicated 840 parts per billion of TCE â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 168 times the 5 ppb that the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has set as the maximum permissible in drinking water. Since then, the EPA has added about 50 wells to the list of those regularly tested in an attempt to document the spread of contamination from the former CTS plant. And in a letter to the Bradleys in November, the EPA revealed that a later test had indicated the TCE level in the familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s well Eco Calendar for December 30, 2009 January 7, 2010 N.C. Arboretum Events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs. Unless otherwise noted, all events are free with parking fee. No parking fees on Tuesdays. Info: 665-2492 or www.ncarboretum.org. â&#x20AC;˘ SU (1/3), 2pm - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Building Small,â&#x20AC;? a lecture with Steven Burke. Held in the Baker Exhibit Center. WNC Alliance Members of the WNC Alliance and the public are invited to be agents of change for the environment. Info: 2588737 or www.wnca.org.

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could be as high as 1,400 ppb (see â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Low-down Slowdown on CTS,â&#x20AC;? Dec. 16). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get Smart: Feds Pump Funding Into Smart Grid,â&#x20AC;? Nov. 4 What would it be like to have a â&#x20AC;&#x153;smart meterâ&#x20AC;? that could tell you when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cheapest to run the clothes dryer, automatically signal the utility company if your power goes out, help you save money and reduce your carbon footprint? About 160,000 Progress Energy customers in the Carolinas and Florida will soon find out. The federal government has awarded the utility $200 million for â&#x20AC;&#x153;smart gridâ&#x20AC;? projects, including system upgrades, electric-vehicle charging stations and these savvy meters. â&#x20AC;Ś The company is kicking in about $300 million; Duke Energy is receiving a similar grant. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;smart gridâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is really a catch phrase for modernizing the electrical-grid system from what is, essentially, 19th-century technology to something thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more 21st Century,â&#x20AC;? explains local alt-energy expert Ned Doyle. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cutting Through the Hype on Climate Change,â&#x20AC;? March 11 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Communicating accurate climate-change information is one of the most challenging issues we face in the scientific world,â&#x20AC;? says Rick Borchelt, communications director for the Genetics and Public Policy Center at Johns Hopkins University. He spoke in Asheville on March 17, and prior to the event, he told Xpress, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Most of us do not have a basic understanding of how climate-change science works, or of how we have arrived at this place where the topic ... is so divisive.â&#x20AC;? X â&#x20AC;˘ 1st MONDAYS, 5pm - Meeting for Ashe, Avery and Watauga members and the public. Be agents of change for the Watauga River Watershed. Info: 963-8682.

MORE ECO EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Eco Calendar online at www.mountainx. com/events for info on events happening after January 7.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 33


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parenting from the edge by Anne Fitten Glenn

What I learned in 2009 Dear friends, family, and those of you who forward me viral e-mails, My year’s been really exciting, even though all I’ve done is sit in front of my computer reading e-mails and hanging out on Facebook and Twitter. But I’ve learned so much! For example, in 2009, I learned that if a robber throws an egg at my windshield, I shouldn’t stop to wipe it off because then the robber will rob me. I’ve also learned not to take business cards from strangers because they could be soaked with burundanga voodoo powder, which is 90 times more potent than the date-ape drug and would make me pass out if I even touched a card soaked in it. And did you hear that Rev. Al Sharpton chided Tiger Woods for the lack of racial diversity in his mistresses? Tiger, tiger, burning bright ... seems to like his women white. And by the way, if you’re about to drop that baby (even if it’s Tiger’s), get on a plane. If you join the mile-high birthing club, your kid gets free air travel for life. Seriously! But whatever you do, don’t sit down on a public toilet, because there are venomous tele-

monia spiders lurking under those toilet seats just waiting for you to drop your unsuspecting bum next to their fangs. Speaking of spiders, did you know all of us swallow eight spiders per year, on average? Shudder! Maybe I need to keep my mouth shut more. And if you’re trying to get preggers, remember that Coke (the soft drink, silly), aspirin, MSG, and green M&Ms all are aphrodisiacs. I also hear that Coca-Cola is an effective spermicide. I wonder how all those bubbles feel up your you-know-what? If you try it, let me know. And if you have a baby nine months later, don’t blame me, blame the Internets! At least you won’t be contributing to that giant raft of floating condoms in the Pacific Ocean. If you’re single, don’t worry — just inhale some pepper. Because sneezing seven times in a row equals one orgasm. Now where is that pepper? On a sad note, I hope you all mailed Christmas cards to Jacob and Nathan, little boys who are dying from cancer, because all they want before they die is to get lots of Christmas cards. If you didn’t get that e-mail, their addresses can

be found on about 100 of your closest friends’ Facebook pages. Finally, I write a lot about poisons and home health hazards, and I’ve recently learned that all of the following are toxic and should be avoided at all cost: crayons, disposable chopsticks, sponges, shrimp, canola oil, tampons, hand sanitizers and pancake mix. Oh no! I just found out that my computer might contract a nasty virus if I open an online

card masquerading as something funny from a friend. Therefore, I will no longer be reading your e-mails. So if you find out something I really need to know, like the fact that drinking cold water after meals causes cancer, text me or put the information up on Twitter. Happy New Year! Love, Edgy Mama X

Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama” Glenn writes about a number of subjects, including parenting, at www.edgymama.com. Parenting Calendar for December 30, 2009 - January 7, 2010 Crisis Counseling • Multicultural/ Diverse Lifestyles (pd.) • Teens • Young Adults/Adults • Eclectic/diverse therapy: Cognitive-Behavioral, Equine, Afro-centric, Parent Coordination/Mediation. • Tracy Keene, LPC, 828-318-3991, tracy@KeeneCounseling.com • 13 1/2 Eagle Street, Suite P, Asheville, 28801. www. KeeneCounseling.com Involve Your Partner In Your Child’s Birth • Empowered Birthing Classes (pd.) Increase confidence, learn hands-on tools, enjoy your birth! 828-231-9227. Classes monthly:

Wednesdays, 6p.m. $175. Next begins Jan. 13. www. AshevilleWomensWellness.com MORE PARENTING EVENTS ONLINE Check out the Parenting Calendar online at www. mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after January 7.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

Over the river and through the woods. Standard.

Road-gripping Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive standard. Test-drive the All-New 2010 Outback, currently cooped up at the dealership.

THE #1 SUBARU DEALER IN THE SOUTHEAST!*

585 TUNNEL RD. ASHEVILLE, NC 28805 • 828-298-9600 • WWW.PRESTIGESUBARU.COM

*Based on 2008 Sales Reports from SOA.

34 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com


consciousparty who:

Kanyini • TU (1/5), 7pm - Film screening of Kanyini, a tale of indigenous wisdom, at the Fine Arts Theatre. Presentation by Katie Kasben. $5-$10 suggested donation (but no one will be turned away). Proceeds benefit Uncle Bob’s Kanyini Centre and Sharing Cultures Pty. Ltd. Info: www.kanyini.com. Land-of-Sky Regional Council’s MLK Everyday Essentials Drive • Through TH (1/14) - Toiletries drive for ABCCM and Swanannoa Valley Christian Ministry. Donated items should be new and in their original packaging. Drop off sites: Harvest House, Lakeview Senior Center, Shiloh

Special Events In January

benefits:

Katie Kasben sharing Kanyani, a story told by an Aboriginal man, Bob Randall, who lives beside the greatest monolith in the world — Uluru — in Central Australia. The 53-minute film, says Kasben, is one of “Indigenous wisdom clashing against materialist notions of progress ... not only a story of one man and his people but the story of the human race.” Benefits Calendar for December 30, 2009 - January 7, 2010

fun fundraisers

Center, Weaverville Library, Land-of-Sky Regional Council. Info: patti@landofsky.org. New Year’s Day Polar Plunge in Lake Lure • FR (1/1), 11am - Gates open at the beach at Lake Lure. Plunge into the waters of Lake Lure at noon. At 1:30pm, Extreme Plunge into the Rocky Broad River. $35 per person. All proceeds benefit Yokefellow and the Lake Lure Area Fire Departments and EMS. Info: www. newyearspolarplunge.com. The Diamond Ball • TH (12/31), 9pm - Third annual Diamond Ball at the DoubleTree Biltmore Hotel. Kat Williams will perform. Food, cash bar, champagne toast, silent auction, diamond raffle. Black tie. Proceeds from the event support

Happy New Year from

Uncle Bob’s Kanyini Centre, and Sharing Cultures Pty. Ltd.

Mystical Mantra Music with Sean Johnson & The Wild Lotus Band

where:

Fine Arts Theatre, downtown Asheville

when:

7 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 5. Doors open at 6:30 p.m.

The Artist’s Way Introduction to Sanskirt

the Junior League of Asheville. Info: www.juniorleagueasheville.org.

Sailing Into Stillness: Intro to Meditation

MORE BENEFITS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after January 7.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

Couples Connection: Yoga, Massage & Tai Chi Subtle Yoga Workshops with Kaoverii

Fun Kids Yoga For Little Yogis

Yoga of Balance

602 haywood rd. 828-350-1167 westashevilleyoga.com

To m a t o C o c i n a L a t i n a p r e s e n t s

Brazilian Parrillada

House Salad, Unlimited Choice of Sirloins, Chicken, Ribs & Chorizo. Served with Wine or Sangria.

$35 Per Person or $65 A Couple Mon-Thur 11-9 • Fri & Sat 11-9:30 • 1455 Patton Ave. • 828-254-5046 • www.tomatocl.com

30-50% Savings on all organic and conventional groceries, fresh produce, bulk items, health & beauty, fresh meats and more! Shop here first!

www.amazingsavingsmarkets.com

Black Mountain • 3018 US 70 • (828) 669-8988 • Asheville • 121 Sweeten Creek Road • (828) 277-0805 Mon. thru Sat. • 9am - 7pm • Closed Sunday

EBT

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 35


food

the straight dish

Tales from the food line

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

How 2009 treated Asheville’s restaurants

Tiki Concoctions & Island Cuisine, Made from Scratch

Sunday - $3 Wells Monday - $5 Painkillers Tuesday - $2.50 Pints Wednesday $4 Rums - 19 Varieties! Thursday $3 Import/Micro Bottles Sun-Thurs 4-6pm $2 off Appetizers

THIS WEEK’S SPECIAL Bells Christmas Beer

Kitchen Open for Dinner & Late Night with Lunch Friday & Saturday • Smoke-free ‘til 10pm

87 Patton Ave. 828-255-TIKI

cial! e p S Lunch w/drink $3.99

Beloved survivors: Two neighborhood restaurants that emerged last year — The Admiral and Nine Mile (pictured) — survived 2009 with flavor, proving to be a boon to hungry diners. photo by liz mccarthy

c u n n a C

by Hanna Rachel Raskin

Mexican Restaurant And Grill

Best Mexican Food in Asheville!

ORGANIC Food & Beer Available

KARAOKE THUR./SUN.

Lunch Specials • Mon. - Sun. 11 am - 4 pm Sunday • Kids Eat Free! kids (10 and under) from kids menu SERVERS NEEDED

DAILY SPECIALS

Mon. 99¢ Tacos Tues., Thurs., Sun. 99¢ Domestic Drafts $2.99 House Shots Wed. $1.99 Margaritas Fri. Dance Party

(828) 505-3951 • 164 Tunnel Rd. Asheville, NC 36 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

For restaurant owners, 2009 was a challenging year. So perhaps it’s too soon to offer up a platitude that’s actually true: It was supposed to be worse. Cash-strapped restaurateurs are unlikely to take much comfort in knowing they could have skirted even closer to failure, but the Asheville area’s remarkable survival rate was a boon to diners. In December 2008, industry insiders were playing the macabre game of predicting the order in which our leading eateries would close. The general consensus was that fewer than half of the city’s restaurants would make it through the recession. Instead, the great majority of locally owned restaurants managed to stay open, bravely upholding Asheville’s newly cemented reputation as a regional gastronomic center. It took a highly precise combination of savvy menu planning, careful staffing, prudent promotions and a tremendous amount of luck to stay afloat in 2009. For some restaurants, even that recipe didn’t work: North Star Diner, French Broad Taqueria, O’Naturals, Blackwater Grill, Rita’s Cantina, Buddha Bagels, Scratch/Nova and Stir Fry Café all shut their doors this year. And as Curras Dom’s impending closure (see Small Bites) so painfully illustrates, the economy is still swinging at vulnerable small businesses. For restaurant owners and diners alike, the economy was the big story of 2009. But, thankfully, it wasn’t the only story. Here,

a “best of” look at a few of the themes and trends that defined eating out in Asheville this year:

Best reason to put your pizza stone on eBay

Asheville surely has the most out-of-whack college-to-student to pizzeria ratio, with new pizza parlors opening at an astonishing rate. There really wasn’t anything wrong with the local pizza scene on Dec. 31, 2008, but that didn’t stop aspiring pizza chefs from trying to improve the mix this year. Standard Pizza opened in West Asheville, Reza Setayesh debuted Piazza in East Asheville, and South Asheville welcomed Brixx and Vito’s Chicago Style Pizza. Unwilling to let the new guys run the show, Marco’s relocated to a revamped space that put its phenomenal New Yorkstyle pies back in the spotlight, Digable Pizza inaugurated delivery service and Nona Mia’s owners confirmed they’re seriously exploring a new pizza-only venture.

Best use of 140 characters

Local restaurants got Twitter-happy this year, using the messaging system to broadcast daily specials, promotions and behind-thescenes chatter that shrank the divide between chefs and eaters. Lively feeds from restaurants including Nine Mile, Flight, Rosetta’s and Burgermeister’s kept customers abreast of menu changes and redecorating plans, infusing announcements about new candle holders with a strange voyeuristic excitement.


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NFL

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Open on New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day! Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Got the NFL SuNday ticket

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50 Broadway â&#x20AC;˘ Asheville, NC 236-9800 mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 37


Best antidote to all those accolades from the vegetarian press

Defying expert predictions that beans and rice would define 2009, Asheville diners polished their steak knives for what would prove to be a very carnivorous year. Surely the pinnacle of meat eating was reached at Red Stag Grill, the trophy head-lined dining room at the Bohemian Hotel, but the area’s sudden fascination with flesh didn’t stop there: Chefs at Cucina 24, Savoy, Table and an array of other high-end spots experimented with unusual cuts of beef and various parts of pigs — often stuffing them into superb house-made sausages. Asheville also gained two new burger spots: Universal Joint in West Asheville and an outpost of the Cook Out chain near the Asheville Mall.

Best new restaurant row

Don’t fill the gas tank just yet; the restaurant scene in South Asheville is still barely embryonic. But 2009 brought the opening of nearly a dozen new eateries below the Blue Ridge Parkway, most of them clustered around the Town Square development in Biltmore Park. Most of those eerily similar corporate chains are eminently forgettable, but the installation of so many kitchens bodes wells for the future of South Asheville dining. Even better, Thirsty Monk opened an honest-to-goodness neighborhood pub in Gerber Village on Hendersonville Road, while Tupelo Honey is gearing up to open a massive second location just across the street.

KUBO’S

J A P A N E S E

F U S I O N

Japanese Sushi & Hibachi Steakhouse Local Produce & Now Offering Brown Rice

CHRISTMAS & NEW YEARS DAY SPECIAL Complimentary Wine with purchase of Hibachi Combo! Sake Specials M-Thur

5 Biltmore Ave. • Downtown Asheville 251-1661 38 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

Best example of multitasking

The Lobster Trap was designed to offer a very specific service: fresh seafood for mountaineers. Then, last year, the restaurant widened its niche, inaugurating the OysterHouse Brewing Company. In lesser hands, the venture could have seemed like a cynical ploy to take advantage of Asheville’s status as a beer destination. Instead, these lovingly made ales raised the bar for brewmasters across Buncombe County, signifying that the city may have finally crossed the line from taking pride in having a locally made version of something (beer, goat cheese, Indian food, whatever) to expecting excellence.

Best edible trend

Small plates, as it turns out, were so aughts.

Experts say service is bound to go family-style in the next few years, an approach already in force at Piazza, where patrons order giant bowls of pasta to share. Two new restaurants quickly became the last local practitioners of the fad: Posana ditched its small plates menu for an app-and-entrée selection, while Nova was forced to close for financial reasons.

Best drinkable trend

If there was an upside to the bitters shortage that swept across North Carolina earlier this year, it was discovering how many local diners cared. Asheville developed a new seriousness about cocktails in 2009, a movement that started at Nova and lives on at Sazerac, the wonderfully hip downtown spot where Justin Crawford, Nova’s head bartender, landed.

Best sophomore effort

Two restaurants that emerged as beloved neighborhood joints in 2008 held on for a fantastic follow-up year: Nine Mile and The Admiral served some of Asheville’s most reliably delicious food in 2009. Good luck getting a table.

Best new restaurant: Breakfast

In Asheville, locavorism has trickled all the way down to sports bars, which now advertise their locally grown meats and vegetables. But few restaurants embody the soul of the local food philosophy better than Sugar Beet Café in Fairview, where ingredients are handled with deep reverence and care (reviewed April 1, 2009).

Best new restaurant: Lunch

Beautifully demonstrating that when life gives you limes, you really can make a lime rickey, Chai Pani somehow turned the recession into a selling point. The vibrant Indian street-food joint had Asheville buzzing about its addictively good food at ridiculously low prices (reviewed Nov. 25, 2009).

Best new restaurant: Dinner

To be fair, Spruce Pine is a long drive from Asheville. But Knife & Fork, where big-city mastery meets Western North Carolina’s foodshed, is more than worth the trip. (reviewed Sept. 9, 2009). X Xpress food writer Hanna Rachel Raskin can be reached at food@mountainx.com.


Upcoming Member Events

January 7, 2010 â&#x20AC;˘ 5:30 - 7pm

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Presented by Clear Channel Hosted by Hill Partners go to ashevillechamber.org/events for more information â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re for Businessâ&#x20AC;?

â&#x2DC;&#x2026; WOW! â&#x2DC;&#x2026;

for more information on the Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce visit us:

2 FOR 1 Pizza and Appetizers Every Night After 10pm

ashevillechamber.org â&#x20AC;˘ 36 Montford Ave. Asheville info@ashevillechamber.org KIDS EAT FREE EVERY WED. AFTER 4 PM

Nachos & Beer

I MON-FR LS $ s Drink include

RVO JOSE CUEAS IT FAJ $12.99

Authentic Mexican Food California Style

Locally Owned & Operated by Walker Wells Ventures, LLC

FREE CHIPS, BEAN DIP & SALSA BAR

FAMILY RESTAURANT

PECIA LUNCH 5S .50

(828) 654-0046 â&#x20AC;˘ Biltmore Park Town Square 30 Town Square Boulevard, Suite 140 Asheville, NC 28803

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FULL BAR Weekend Special! Sat. & Sun. All Bottled Beer Only $1.99

18oz. House Margaritas Only $5

(On the Rocks Only)

(828) 298-2280 â&#x20AC;˘ 230 CHARLOTTE HWY. (NEAR EASTWOOD VILLAGE) SUN. - THURS. 11AM - 9PM â&#x20AC;˘ FRI. - SAT. 11AM - 9:30PM

7DWLVI\=RXU7HQVHV Fresh ingredients, authentic recipes Elegant dining thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s relaxed & affordable Lunch buffet offered 7 days/week Full bar & Indian beers 156 S. Tunnel Rd. (Overlook Village across from Best Buy) 298-5001 â&#x20AC;˘ IndiaGardenOnline.com â&#x20AC;˘ Open 7 days for lunch & dinner

°

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4NPLFE#FFG3JC&ZFXJUI#BDPO0OJPO(SBWZ 'SFTI0ZTUFST  -VFMMBÂľT4ISJNQÂľO(SFFO$IJMF$IFFTF(SJUT QMVTNPSF 0QFO/FX:FBSÂľT%BZBUOPPO)PQQJOÂľ+PIO )BOHPWFS)FMQFS  .BQMF#PVSCPO'SFODI5PBTU 4XFFU1PUBUP#SJTLFU0NFMFUUF #SVODI*UFNTTFSWFEOPPOQN  %SJOL4QFDJBMTBMMXFFLFOE 'VMM#BSBOE#FFSTPO5BQ .FSSJNPO"WFOVFÂ&#x2026;"TIFWJMMF /$ XXXMVFMMBTCCRDPNÂ&#x2026;UFM3*#4 mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 39


smallbites

photo by Jonathan Welch

STANDARD PIZZA CO.: Jim Coleman, who recently opened a New York-style pizza joint on Haywood Road, insists there’s “nothing too fancy” about his pies. But, if pressed, Coleman will talk about an available topping that’s anything but standard. “We do put bananas on pizza,” Coleman says. “That’s kind of weird.” Coleman came up with the banana concept during an 11-year stint at an Atlanta pizzeria, where he decided that pineapple didn’t deserve to be the only pizza-worthy fruit. “I’ve always liked the idea of having something sweet on pizza,” Coleman says. “I think it’s pretty great.” Still, Coleman stresses the bananas are the only unusual item on a menu featuring salads, breadsticks, calzones and pizza. He purposely didn’t stray into sandwiches or pastas, which he guessed would distract from the pizzeria’s primary goal. “We really wanted to keep the pizza outstanding,” he explains. Standard Pizza Co., 631 Haywood Road, is open Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Fri.Sat., 11 a.m.-1 p.m.; and Sun., noon -11 p.m. For more information, call 255-8122 CURRAS DOM: According to a post on the AskAsheville blog earlier this month, the upscale pan-Latin eatery Curras Dom in North Asheville is set to close this week, barring “a miracle.” “Without an outside investor and an answered prayer, the doors will be closing on January 3, 2010, and a great Asheville business will be lost. Maybe you can help or support Curras?,” the post pleads.

Owner Marco Garcia was not available for extensive comment at presstime — he’d been without power for four days when the Xpress reached him by e-mail — but he thanked customers for their concern. Curras DOM opened in March 2008 in the Weaverville Highway spot that formerly housed HB’s. It was locally renowned for its sizzling queso dip and avocado margaritas. DOWNTOWN MARKET: If anything about the popular grocery liquidator Amazing Savings wasn’t so amazing, it was the hours: Regular customers grumbled about not being able to shop on Sundays. But the store’s newest location boasts a sevenday-a-week schedule. Amazing Savings at 45 S. French Broad Avenue, inside the Downtown Market, is open every day from 9 a.m.-7 p.m. For more information, call 277-0805. PHI BAR: The bar and bistro at downtown’s Hotel Indigo is positioning itself as the solution to late nights and holidays when every restaurant seems to be closed: Phi Bar is open “365 days a year, beginning each night at 5 p.m. and staying open until at least 10 p.m.” foodand-beverage director Gabe Fore writes. Fore describes the restaurant’s specialty as “New American/French-fusion cuisine,” which — in practice — means warm goat cheese fondue, waffle-cut potatoes tossed with blue cheese, grilled pork sliders and chicken-bacon flatbreads. While the menu emphasizes small plate presentations, Phi also offers entrée specials that Fore calls “elegant and fun.”

Send your food news to food@mountainx.com

40 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com


SUSHI japanese kitchen & sushi bar

'=LLU-AS8A=N Come join us for:

• S u s h i • S a s h i m i • M a k i R o l l s • Ve g e t a r i a n • • Te m p u r a • Te r i y a k i • H i b a c h i • K a t s u

Open New Year’s Eve 11am-11pm & New Year’s Day 1pm-11pm Thank you for letting us serve you for 5 years!

from the City Bakery Family

open 7 days a week 2 regent park boulevard, asheville, nc 828.252.8300 • www.greenteasushi.com

Celebrate New Year’s Eve at Mela Thursday, December 31 Champagne • Live Entertainment Please Call for Reservations

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 41


arts&entertainment Party like it’s (finally the end of) 2009 What to do this New Year’s Eve

by Alli Marshall

”Come get elevated at the meltdown!” suggests The Grove House (11 Grove St., Asheville, 505-1612). The venue offers three clubs (Eleven on Grove, Scandals and The Boiler Room), which means three times the revelry. Balloon drops, cash and prizes, a champagne toast at midnight, hors d’oeuvres, DJs and live music from Silver Machine. $20/$15 for members. Doors open at 9 p.m. thegrovehouse.com.

So long, 2009. We’ll be sending you off in grand style — with champagne toasts and silly hats, with serious ceremony, with sparklers and slurry rounds of “Auld Lang Syne.” Some of us might jump and shout, get crunk, kiss strangers and karaoke Prince songs. Others might eat lavish, candlelit dinners, clink crystal goblets and watch, slightly teary-eyed, when the ball drops in Times Square. Some of us will perform stellar swing-dance moves; some will perfect our rhythms in drumming circles. Some of us might already be under the table when the clock strikes, but don’t let that fool you, 2009. We’re well aware you’re on the way out and that your shinier, more promising protegé, 2010, is fast on your heels. We won’t miss you all that much, and even if we do sort of miss you, we have the pictures to prove you were here. That’s plenty. In fact, just for good measure, some of us will probably do things worthy of extra-bonus memorable/damning photographic evidence in your last moments. That’s cool. We figure 2010 will be kinder and gentler, or at least more forgiving. Looking for the perfect place to herald in the new decade? Here are some ideas — check Clubland and Calendar for more.

Looking for a high-class affair?

Flat Rock Wine Shoppe Back Room (2702 Greenville Hwy., Flat Rock, 697-6828) has all the necessary elements for a memorable New Year’s Eve, like a four-course dinner and two bands. Dinner is $50, by reservation and starts at 5:30 p.m., with music by torchlight singer Ellen Trnka. Stay for the late-night with vintage folkswing act Christabel & the Jons, or arrive after 9 p.m. and pay $10 at the door. A champagne toast is included. flatrockwineshoppe. com. Forget ringing, get swinging. The annual Swing In the New Year dance event is back, combining international champion swingdance performances, classy social dancing for all experience levels and live big-band swing music. Want to polish (or heck, learn) your dance moves before the end of the year? A five-day workshop camp leads up to the big night ($145-$295, lindyfocus.com/newyear). Or, just show up for the party: Dec. 31 festivities take place at The Crowne Plaza Resort (1 Resort Dr., Asheville, 254-3211) with a beginner swing-dance lesson at 8:15, music by Nouveau Passe

Some of the biggest:

Bluegrass guitarist Larry Keel has put in enough New Year’s Eves at The Grey Eagle (185 Clingman Ave., 232-5800) to be considered an Asheville tradition. This year he and his band, Natural Bridge, come back to shred the roof off the place. The lineup includes Kentucky experimental/folk band Bawn in the Mash, The Keel Brothers (a duo with Keel’s older brother Gary) and guitarist

Turning heads: Paige Turner is part of the Salvation & Sin event at Mo Daddy’s. Dwayne Brooke of mountain jazz outfit the Woodshedders. 9 p.m., $25 advance, $30 day of show. thegreyeagle.com. Deftly weaving West African and American sounds, Toubab Krewe has been traveling and touring the country to great acclaim. But despite all those high-profile gigs, headlining festival shows and trips to Africa, the guys keep finding their way home. We’re lucky for that. The band plays two nights at The Orange Peel (101 Biltmore Ave., Asheville, 225-5851). State Radio and DJ Brett Rock open both nights, and both shows feature special guest: Fiddler Rayna Gellert and Jamaican singer Lukan I. Also, GalaxC Girl performs on Dec. 30 and Hunab Kru performs on Dec. 31. New Year’s Eve show: 10 p.m., $25 advance/$30 at the door. (Or come on Wednesday, Dec. 30, 9 p.m., $15/$17.) theorangepeel.net.

Brand new mayhem:

Theme party: Planning to see the clock strike 2010 at Emerald Lounge (12 N. Lexington Ave., Asheville, 232-4372)? Wear or carry something that lights up, as requested by Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band. The group, in turn, will put on an electrifying performance. Music starts at 10 p.m., tickets are $20. bootyband.com.

Even Keel: Jenny and Larry Keel return to the Grey Eagle. Photo by Lissy Whelan

Billed as “The Biggest New Year’s Eve Party,” Club 828 (64 N. Carter St., Asheville, 252-2001) has a stellar hip-hop lineup featuring Crime Mob (of “Rock Yo Hips” fame), Chop Shop Cartel, Asheville’s Ronnie Dub of Lime Light Entertainment and DMV’s Baby Girl also perform. 10 p.m., $30 in advance/$50 at the door. VIP access (private bar, separate DJs and lounge with couches) is available. club828.com.

42 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

Sweeping gestures: The Broomstars come off hiatus just in time for New Year’s. photo by peak definition


Just outta Asheville:

Sister act: The Swayback Sisters (singer/songwriter trio Laura Blackley, Lyndsay Wojcik and Nikki Talley) celebrate New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve at White Horse Black Mountain (105C Montreat Road, Black Mountain, 669-0816). The bill also includes The Business (which Talley describes as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ashevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beloved boy super groupâ&#x20AC;? with Tom Leiner, Jim Arendell, Joey K, Rob Geisler and others). 8 p.m., $20. whitehorseblackmountain.com. Earlier in the day â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 2-3:30 p.m., to be exact â&#x20AC;&#x201D; kid-hop artist 23 Skidoo puts on a family show. $6 adults, $4 kids under age 10.

Bringing it all back home: Toubab Kreweâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s two-night Orange Peel run features guests from DJ Brett Rock to State Radio to fiddler Rayna Gellert and a whole lot more.

The Madison County Arts Center in Marshall hosts the big bluegrass act Sons of Ralph (featuring Madison County native Ralph Lewis). Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be serving an â&#x20AC;&#x153;end of recession supper,â&#x20AC;? complete with black-eyed peas and collards, all for good luck and prosperity in the New Year. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also the CD release for the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new recording, When I Find Time. 8 p.m. $10. www. madisoncountyarts.com or 649-1301.

Orchestra starting at 9 p.m., a dance show at 10:45 p.m., a midnight countdown and toast, and DJs from 1 a.m. to sunrise. $50 doors. Info: lindyfocus.com or Jaya & Michael Gamble at 275-3693.

an ecstatic dance party. Organizers suggest, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dress to express the light within you.â&#x20AC;? 8 p.m.-1 a.m., $20 in advance, $25 at the door (advance tickets at Cosmic Vision, 34 N. Lexington Ave., Asheville, 285-0073).

Head out to Hot Springs and spend a retro evening at Iron Horse Station (24 S. Andrews St., Hot Springs, 622-0022). The Bed & Breakfast has a tavern open to the public. Americana rocker Pierce Edens plays from 9 p.m. on. No cover. theironhorsestation.com.

Soulful singer Sarah Claire performs at the New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gala at The Waynesville Inn Golf Resort & Spa (176 Country Club Dr., Waynesville, 800627-6250). Says the Inn, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Put on your best dress, pack an overnight bag and let us worry about the rest.â&#x20AC;? Tickets for the event, which includes a four-course dinner, party favors, a champagne toast and dancing, run $79 (ticket holders are eligible for a $79 room rate, as well). 7:30 p.m. Info: 456-3551.

Soon to be Asheville traditions?

Or stay downtown:

Skip the bar scene:

The alternative, family-friendly Conscious New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Party takes place at Camp Rockmont in Black Mountain. Robert and Julia Roskind of the annual â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gathering of the Peacemakersâ&#x20AC;? retreats lead this event, starting with a One Love Fire Circle at 7:30 p.m. Dance to reggae music from Chalwa at 10 p.m., followed by a midnight potluck (bring a vegetarian dish to share). After midnight, Satta Lions performs and there will be a drumming circle on the â&#x20AC;&#x153;beach.â&#x20AC;? No alcohol is allowed in Eden Hall. $25/free for children under 12. Male and female dorm beds plus a New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day brunch costs an additional $25. (Stay Jan. 1-3 for â&#x20AC;&#x153;New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Weekend Gathering of the Peacemakersâ&#x20AC;? workshops geared toward those wanting to refine their skills at teaching and learning unconditional love for all.) onelovepress.com or 295-4610. â&#x20AC;?Blessings for the new year to come.â&#x20AC;? Festival of Light, held at the Asheville Arts Center (308 Merrimon Ave., Asheville, 253-4000) is a night of sacred and ceremonial commemoration. Kirtan group Sangita Devi begins with call and response chanting from the mystic traditions of India. Next, Kali Das leads a ceremony to set intention for the new year. After the ceremony, world- music group Arundas kicks off

Salvation & Sin 2010 New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Bash is the saucy, spicy name given to the festivities at Mo Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (77-B Biltmore Ave., Asheville, 258-1550). Gospel/folk rockers David Earl & the Plowshares headline, and burlesque entertainer Paige Turner will perform between acts. (Also on the roster: guitarist Silas Durocher, drummer Oso Rey, bassist Justin Powell and C. Scott on trumpet and piano.) Commemorate the night at the photobooth. Costumes, cocktail dresses, zoot suits and all forms of flashy attire are encouraged. 9:30 p.m., $15 at the door. Rockers Woody Wood & Hollywood Red get rowdy at Jack of the Wood (95 Patton Ave., Asheville, 252-5445). Expect mighty raucous entertainment from Wood, his monster guitar and his stellar backup band. 9:30 p.m. $12 includes champagne at midnight. 2009 was a quiet year for pop-rockers The Broomstars, largely due to the arrival of baby Broomstar. But after a six-month hiatus, the band is back and ready to close out the decade at The Rocket Club (401 Haywood Road, West Asheville, 505-2494). Local rock bands tHE POLES and Forty Furies join the excitement. 9:30 p.m., $8 in advance, $10 at the door. therocketclub.net. Time to get Sirius. For the third year, local absurdist gypsy-folk-punk-funk outfit Sirius. B hosts a party at BoBo Gallery (22 Lexington Ave., Asheville, 254-3426). The evening begins at 8:30 p.m. with a three-course dinner by Chef Evan. Gypsy & a Jew performs at 10 p.m.; Sirius.B at 11 p.m. Tickets are $24, available online at siriusbmusic.com. Concert-only tickets are $12.

The Crank County Daredevils not only rock Stella Blue (35 Patton Ave., Asheville, 236-2424), but also release their newest CD. Think of it as a multitasking party. The Go-Devils also perform, and Dielectric from Wilmington, N.C. opens the show. Doors at 9 p.m., $10. John Lee Hooker had the blues for Christmas; Mac Arnold & Plate Full Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Blues have the blues for New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve. And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good thing. Get your own plate full oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; blues at S&W Steak & Wine (56 Patton Ave., Asheville, 5053362) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Arnold and company play in the bar upstairs (and there will be hors dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;oeuvres!); those who wish to dine may want to make reservations. 9 p.m., $15. The Garage at Biltmore (101 Fairview Road, Asheville, 505-2663) gets into the spirit with experimental funk from The Discordian Society and psychedelia from Jamtronica. 9 p.m., $10.

Want a free show?

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for bargains, The Westville Pub (777 Haywood Rd., West Asheville, 225-9782) is the place to hit. Prog/funk/fusion artists Dashvara get the party started around 9 p.m. Free. westvillepub.com. Wilmington-based rock outfit Hudson South kicks off the New Year at Root Bar No. 1 (1410 Tunnel Road, Asheville, 299-7597). 9 p.m., free. The Secret B-Sides offer up another bargain of the night: a free show at at Barleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taproom (42 Biltmore Ave., Asheville, 255-0504). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Same olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; get down, fresh new love sauce,â&#x20AC;? says the band. Make of that what you will. 10 p.m. X

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 43


Authentic Beauty, LLC presentsâ&#x20AC;Ś

arts

X

music

Sallie Ford forges her own sound

NYE show with the Avett Brothers will be coming out party for Asheville native by Jason Sandford

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A New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve party at the Asheville Civic Center should be quite the homecoming for Sallie Ford. The Weaverville native (now hailing from Portland, Ore.) will open for the Avett Brothers, the Concord, N.C.-based band that dropped its first major-label album earlier this year to wide acclaim. Fordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just three years into her musical career with her band, The Outside Sound. But with an unforgettable voice and burgeoning song-writing chops, Ford has already gotten noticed. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all still sinking in for the kid who graduated from Asheville High School and only started writing songs after moving from Asheville to Portland in 2006. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I guess it took moving across the country to realize music was inevitable for me,â&#x20AC;? says Ford. Even though Ford grew up in a family of artists (her father is professional puppeteer Hobey Ford and her mother, Sue, teaches music at Evergreen Community Charter School), she says she always felt a little constrained â&#x20AC;&#x201D; despite the violin classes, performances with her sister Lauren in Asheville Community Theater productions and the occasional open mic night. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I did a lot of singing, but was intimidated,â&#x20AC;? Ford says of the attention she received. Too many familiar faces. So, after a semester at UNC-Asheville and saving up some cash from her job at Urban Burrito, Ford left those faces to travel Europe, and then (perhaps inspired by her rambles) left Asheville for Portland. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where Ford hooked up with guitarist Jeffrey Munger, drummer Ford Tennis and upright bassist Tyler Tornfelt. The resulting band â&#x20AC;&#x201D; The Sound Outside â&#x20AC;&#x201D; has been busy putting a distinctive stamp on Americana. Its five-song Not an Animal EP mixes rock, blues and folk, all punctuated by Fordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s distinctive vocals. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I knew I wanted to create something not by the rules,â&#x20AC;? Ford says of her approach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s definitely confusing, because a lot of my songs

/PENAM PM-ONDAY 3ATURDAY

#ALL  

"EAVERDAM2OAD .!SHEVILLE www.waterlilysalon.com 44 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

who:

Sallie Ford, opening for the Avett Brothers

what:

Local gal makes good, opens for national act in her hometown

where:

Asheville Civic Center

when:

Thursday, Dec. 31 (9 p.m. $43 general admission. www.ticketmaster. com or Civic Center box office) have an old-country, Patsy Cline style, or old rock â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s American roots music, with my modern take.â&#x20AC;? Ford says sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s definitely influenced by soul and blues greats such as Aretha Franklin and Billie Holliday. She admires jazz musicians and loves the work of Regina Spektor. She says sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been into indie bands like The Yeah Yeah

Yeahs and Animal Collective. And, of course, there are the Avett Brothers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They write songs about what I write about, which are really personal and from your gut,â&#x20AC;? she says. Ford met Seth Avett through a college buddy of his who lived in the same apartment building she did in Portland. The mutual friend brought Avett along to a couple of Fordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shows, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and after that second show, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s when Seth asked me if I wanted to open for him at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland,â&#x20AC;? Ford says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The shows were rough, but it really pushed us into gear.â&#x20AC;? Ford calls the Avett Brothers â&#x20AC;&#x153;a prefect modelâ&#x20AC;? of a band and its work ethic. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think that, as they put it, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;putting in the work and loving it and having fun and not being popular overnightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is the right approach,â&#x20AC;? Ford says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve definitely earned their popularity, and for them, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about the music.â&#x20AC;? In the new year, Ford says she and her band mates plan to get into the studio. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have lots of songs to record, and I think weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll also write some new songs.â&#x20AC;? Getting together an album, and finding an independent label to release it will be a priority, she says. First, though, will be the homecoming show at the Asheville Civic Center, a show that will potentially host about 7,000 revelers. Ford says she last visited home was in 2008 for Thanksgiving. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a little nervous,â&#x20AC;? Ford admits, noting that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the largest crowd for which she and her band have performed. Ford is also scheduled to play an all-ages show at 8 p.m. on Jan. 2 at Harvest Records in West Asheville. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a place thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s near and dear to her. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I went to Harvest Records all the time and became friends with Matt and Mark,â&#x20AC;? Ford says of co-owners Matt Schnable and Mark Capon. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would just be like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; and they would tell me what to buy.â&#x20AC;? After her homecoming show, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s likely that Sallie Ford and the Outside Sound will be one band topping the recommendation list. X


smartbets Asheville Playback Theatre

Never the same show twice, Asheville Playback Theatre (the drama company that takes audience stories and recreates them as performance pieces complete with impromptu music) offers three differently themed shows to kick off the new year. Friday, Jan. 1, is “Playback Alchemy” (interactive experimentation and performance) at 8 p.m.; Saturday, Jan. 2, is “Kids Know It All” (a show for the entire family) at 2 p.m.; the adults-only “Forbidden Stories” runs at 9 p.m. the same day. All performances are at N.C. Stage. $10 adults, $5 students (no one turned away due to lack of funds as long as seats are available). 779-3062 or ashevilleplayback.org.

Starting off the new decade with your stories of laughter, reflection and appreciation...

invites you to 3 shows at NC Stage Friday, January 1 • 8pm

PlaybaCk alChemy

Saturday, January 2 2pm- kidS kNow everythiNg (for the whole Family)

9pm- hiddeN StorieS (adults only!)

tickets at door $10 adult / $5 students

No one turned away due to lack of funds (seats available) doors open 1/2 hour before performance. For more iNFormatioN Call

(828)779-3062 or ashevilleplayback.org

Fireworks at High Country Ski Resorts

Chances to view fireworks this New Year’s Eve may be few and far between, but all three High Country Ski Resorts (Beech Mountain Resort, Appalachian Ski Mountain and Sugar Mountain Resort) plan late-night pyrotechnics to accompany both winter sports and endof-year festivities. Beech Mountain has night skiing until 10 p.m. followed by ice skating 10 p.m. to midnight and fireworks at 10:30 p.m.; Sugar Mountain has skiing, tubing and skating until 10 p.m. followed by a midnight torch light parade, fireworks and beach music and oldies by the Terry Batson Band; Appalachian Ski Mountain’s alcohol-free celebration includes night skiing at 6 p.m., moonlight ice skating at 10 p.m., a torch light parade at 11:45 p.m. and fireworks at midnight. 438-7500, or appskimtn.com, skisugar. com and skibeech.com.

Club phone numbers are listed in Clubland in the (828) area code unless otherwise stated; more details at www. mountainx.com/clubland. Send your Smart Bet requests in to ae@mountainx.com for consideration by the Monday the week prior to publication.

Catherine Classen, LMT # 1943 20 years experience

15 Zillacoa St. • Asheville

255-7556

Gift Certificates Available

Warm Up with a Hot Stone Massage $75.00 for 90 minutes 1 Hour Massage 00 $50. Initial Appointment - Swedish Massage Only Ask About Our Special Rates for Mission Employees

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 45


The asheville disclaimer has reTurned from our annual Trip To The fuTure wiTh a message of compleTe disregard for The presenT.

What’s IN & What is OUT

In: Post-theism

Out: Pre-hell-ism

In: Large polka-dot prints

2010

W h a s t ’ t a h W t & Not’s for Out: Waxing poetic Ho Out: Sexting In:

Out: Crotch tattoos Out: Burlesque overkill In: Vaudeville overkill

Out: Fascination with gay culture (bears, cubs etc.)

In: Admitting the reason you find gay culture fascinating is because you are gay

In: Ironic Nobel Peace Prize speeches

Out: Sarcastic declarations of war

In: Statutory vampire movies and books

Out:

Cautionary tales about retired werewolves who turn horny at the smell of cognac

Out: Veganism

In: Not talking about veganism In: Starting your

own brewery

Out: Not knowing what to

do with your life after giving it some thought while enjoying a microbrew

Out: Complaining about the cost of living in Asheville

In: Burning your bank mortgage for a moment’s worth of heat

Out: Speakeasies

In: Bars that advertise their locations and have signs

In: 1930’s cocktails

Out: Drinking an un-christened tall glass of straight liquor

Out: Bi-sexuality In: Poly-majoring 46 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

Out: Community; journalism

about multi-modal transportation In: Bicyclists Shooting back

Out: Ironic Careers Out: the desexualizing of

fountains Out: Peeing in inexpensive

Self-esteem

In: Community journalism In: Moustaches

stripper poles by non-strippers

In: Thumbing a bottom

Out: Complaining about

not being able to make a living as an artist in Asheville

In: Making a living complaining about artists in Asheville

Out: Asian american interns In: Polynesian assistants

Out: Kayaking

In: Fancy outdoor

fountains for sport and profit

Out: Staycations In: Go-cations

Out: Cursing Arizona from your new yurt in Asheville

In: Cursing Asheville from your new shithole in NYC

Out: art

In: Loud things In: Getting pissed at

In: Screaming bloody murder

Republicans over healthcare

Out: Whoring yourself for more Facebook friends

Out: Tea Parties

endorsements to gain whore-money

Out: Smoking in bars

In: Sea Trenches

detectors in bar bathrooms

atop a floatation device in a river

In: Celebrity whoring for paid

Out: Mountains In: Wigs

Out: Gluing pine straw to your head In: Goat #4 at the

WNC Nature Center

Out: The regular bird flying near the WNC Nature Center

Out: Getting pissed at

Republicans over the economy

In: Spelling bees

In: Dismantling smoke

Out: Blizzards and flooding In: Rainbows and

spontaneous combustion

In: Federal re-paving

Out:

Cobblestone, cobblers and cobble pie

Out: Tantric sex

The Asheville Disclaimer

Speed Humping

Contributing: Michele Scheve, Tom Scheve

In: Dis-en-chakra-ed Western

(copyright 2009) is parody/entertainment Please visit www.ashevilledisclaimer.com.


clubland

Dwtn Swannanoa

where to find the clubs â&#x20AC;˘ what is playing â&#x20AC;˘ listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina C lubland rules â&#x20AC;˘To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafĂŠs with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed. â&#x20AC;˘To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue. â&#x20AC;˘Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland. â&#x20AC;˘Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed. â&#x20AC;˘The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues. â&#x20AC;˘Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s publication. This is a firm deadline.

BoBo Gallery

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Sean Benjamin (acoustic, rock) Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

Bluegrass jam night, 7pm

Shag dance

Orange Peel

Toubab Krewe (Afro-beat, rock, other) w/ State Radio

Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s Night, 10pm

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Club 828

Hip-hop open mic

Hits & Shits w/ Jamie Hepler

Curras Dom Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Emerald Lounge

Asheville Horns (â&#x20AC;&#x153;big sound hornâ&#x20AC;?) Firestorm Cafe and Books

Toe Steppers w/ Imperial Can & Delay (Klezmer, electronic)

Beacon Pub

Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Open jam

Screaming Jays (rock)

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Westville Pub

Jamminâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; w/ Funky Max

Thu., December 31 Asheville Civic Center

Avett Brothers (rock) w/ Langhorne Slim (indie) Back Room

Ellen Trnka w/ Christabel and the Jons (Southern swing) Barleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taproom

The Secret B-Sides (soul, hip-hop, R&B)

The Hookah Bar

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open Mic w/ Sven Hooson Tolliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossing Irish Pub

Open Mic w/ David Bryan

Old Time Jam, 6pm

Bluegrass jam

Beacon Pub

Town Pump

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Waynesville Waterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Hole

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blackbird Allstarâ&#x20AC;? (performances by Blackbird staff)

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s night

Open mic

Open mic

Rocket Club

The Blackbird

Zydeco dance & lessons

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Back Room

Bobby Sullivan (blues, rock, standards) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Super dance partyâ&#x20AC;? feat: Adam Strange & Crick Nice DJ

Eleven on Grove

Frankie Bones

Wed., December 30

Red Stag Grill

Eleanor Underhill (singer/songwriter)

Marc Keller (variety)

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve party Mark Bumgarner (Americana) BoBo Gallery

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve party w/ Sirius.B (absurdist Gypsy, metal, folk) & A Gypsy and a Jew Boiler Room

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve w/ Sliver Machine (electronics) Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

Nine Mile

Peggy Ratusz & Friends (holiday showcase, blues)

Crystal Kind (cosmic reggae)

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Club 828

thurSday, deceMber 31

new yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S eve with wink keziah & Delux Motel

friday, january 1

Open mic & jam

135 Cherry St. BlaCk Mountain, nC

MySpaCe.CoM/townpuMptavernllC

Mark Guest (jazz guitar) Decades Restaurant & Bar

Jazz piano w/ Garnell Stuart

Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Door Prizes, Champagne Toast Timeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Square Ball Drop on 6 TVs

Eleven on Grove

New Visions Marketplace

Emerald Lounge

Gently Used Furniture Home DĂŠcor, Gifts & Books

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Bash

Yo Mamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Fat Booty Band (funk) Five Fifty Three

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar) Frankie Bones

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter) Fredâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Parkside Pub & Grill

Marshall Ruffin Trio (blues) & guests French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Dave Desmelik (Americana)

Garage at Biltmore

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve party w/ Discordian Society (experimental, funk) w/ JamTronica, DJ Paradise & DJ Brett Rock

828 681-5580

5428 Asheville Hwy 1/2 Mi. S I-26 exit 44 Between Asheville & Hendersonville

www.newvisionsmarketplace.com

ReUse, ReCycle, ReSell! 10 am-6 pm Mon-Sat

~ Thursday 12/31 ~ 2-3:30 pm:

agent 23 Skiddoo, kid/family show $6 adults, $4 kids 8 pm:

BoB margolin

828-669-4808

Curras Dom

new yearS eve

Saturday, january 2

Open SundayS nOOn- Midnight MOn. - wed. 3pM - Midnight thurS. - Sat. 3pM - 2aM

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone

"LACK-OUNTAIN3WANNANOA6ALLEY

The Business & The Swayback Sisters

SunDayS: $1.50 Beerâ&#x20AC;˘ MonDayS: $1 Beer weD: open MiC night, 8:30pM w/ DaviD Bryan

Courtyard Gallery

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve PARTY DJ Dance Party w/ Karaoke

7HITE(ORSEIS -OUNTAIN8´S"EST -USIC6ENUEOF

theroCkinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; gooD olD Boyz outlaw Country taylor Martin Singer-Songwriter

Crime Mob (hip-hop) feat: Chop Shop Cartel w/ Baby Girl & Ronnie

LIVE MUSIC beaconpub.info

$20

~ Saturday 1/2 ~ 8 pm â&#x20AC;˘ $10

~ Sunday 1/3 ~

SportS Sunday

on the mega Screen Bar opens at 12:30 â&#x20AC;˘ $10 Six packs â&#x20AC;˘ no Cover

~ tuesday 1/5 ~ 6:30 pm - CeltiC SeSSionS 8:30 pm - open mike night with parker Brooks â&#x20AC;˘ no Cover

~ Friday 1/8 ~

Film- nothing to prove mac arnoldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story â&#x20AC;˘ 8 pm â&#x20AC;˘ $3

828-669-0816

whitehorseblackmountain.com

mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 47


7J > ;D7ÉI New Year’s Eve Party

Free Champagne Toast Live DJ Mon. - Sat. 6 pm - 2 am • Sun. Noon - 2 am

252-2456 • 14 College St. • Asheville, NC (Next to Tupelo Honey)

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

New Year’s Eve w/ Larry Keel & Natural Bridge (bluegrass, progressive) Handlebar

Culture Prophet (indie, electro-funk) w/ Secret Vessels & We Are Now Holland’s Grille

New Year’s Eve masquerade party w/ live music Infusions Lounge

Live music

Iron Horse Station

New Year’s Eve w/ Pierce Edens (“raw roots Americana”) Jack Of The Wood Pub

Woody Wood & Hollywood Red (soul, alternative country)

Rocket Club

Featuring the

Westville All Stars hosted by Mars

with Funky Max

NYE party feat: Broomstars (rock, experimental) w/ Forty Furies & The Poles Root Bar No. 1

New Years Eve Blast feat: Hudson South (rock) Scandals Nightclub

New Year’s Eve Bash Stella Blue

Trivia Night with Prizes 9pm

Smoke-Free Pub • Pool & DartS 777 Haywood Road • 225-wPUB (9782)

48 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

Greg Olson (world, folk) Decades Restaurant & Bar

Rotating jazz bands

Eleven on Grove

Kemistry (Southern rock, covers)

Jammin’

Curras Dom

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Blues Jam

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

New Year’s Eve DJ dance party

Anne Coombs (jazz, swing)

- Fri. -

Acoustic Swing

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Red Stag Grill

- WeD. -

Luna and the Lunatics

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

NYE party “Last Dance of the Decade” w/ DJ Marley Carroll

- tueS. -

Wild Wing Cafe

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

ragtime, countrY-Blues & swing

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

23 Skidoo family show, 2-3:30pm The Business & The Swayback Sisters, 8pm-1am

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Emerald Lounge

Pseudo Blue and the Majestic (rock, fun, jam band) Garage at Biltmore

Handlebar

New Year’s Eve party w/ The Scoot Pittman Trio

wooDY Pines

White Horse

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Purple Onion Cafe

SaturDay, January 9

42nd Street Jazz Band

Grayson Capps (Americana, country, blues) w/ Tennessee Hollow (rock)

Toubab Krewe (Afro-beat, rock, other) w/ State Radio

asheville Fave songstress

Decades Restaurant & Bar

NYE bash feat: Dashvara (progressive, funk, fusion)

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Orange Peel

valorie miller

Westville Pub

Mela

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter)

thurSDay, January 7 - Free!

Hip-hop party

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Singer/songwriter showcase

olD school original Blues

Club 828

New Years Eve w/ DJ Squirl Daddy

Fri., January 1

Never Blue

riYen roots

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Watershed

Hank Bones

NYE: David Earl & the Plowshares (amphetamine folk), Paige Turner (formerly of the Rebelles), Jesus Christ & the Handsome Devils

SaturDay, January 2

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Aaron LaFalce (acoustic guitar, singer/songwriter)

Space Heaters (rock, pop)

New Cosmic Jam w/ Walrus and the Carpenter (electronica, drum & bass)

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Dash vara

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Thursday night bluegrass jam

Belly dancing

new Year’s evev Bash with

Back Room

Zuma Coffee

Lobster Trap

thurSDay, December 31

New Year’s Eve party feat: The Free Flow Band (funk, R&B, soul)

The Crank County Daredevils (rock) w/ The Go-Devils (psychobilly, punk) & Dielectric Stockade Brew House

The Big Ivy Project (bluegrass, folk) Straightaway Café

Taylor Moore Band (blues, roots) feat: The Will, Charles Wood, Jeff Holland, Chuck Beattie, Gwyn Fowler & Brandy Blackwell Infusions Lounge

Live music

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Cary Fridley & Down South (alternative country, blues) Jerusalem Garden

Belly dancing w/ live music

Salsa & Mambo Dancing, 10pm-2am Dance Lessons, 10:30pm

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Nine Mile

Open Windows (folk, rock)

Crystal Kind (cosmic reggae)

Vollie & Kari and The Western Wildcats (honky-tonk, Western swing)

Red Room at Temptations

Holland’s Grille

Red Stag Grill

Live Bands

Infusions Lounge

Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues), 7:3010:30pm Iron Horse Station

Glenn Spayth (singer/songwriter) Jack Of The Wood Pub

DJ SPY-V

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues) Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Live music

Scandals Nightclub

Dance party w/ DJ Stratos & drag show Stella Blue

The Space Heaters (Gypsy jazz)

Vic Crown and The Force (rock) w/ Stone Ridge, Skull Thunder

Jerusalem Garden

Stockade Brew House

Belly dancing w/ live music Lobster Trap

Live music by local artists Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Woody Pines (old-time acoustic, folk) Purple Onion Cafe

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist) Red Room at Temptations

DJ D-Day

Red Stag Grill

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues)

Open mic

Straightaway Café

Will Straughan (visual, surf, freestyle) Tallgary’s College Street Pub

Born Broke (blues)

The Hookah Bar

Still Smokin’ (Classic rock, blues) & guests Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Live music w/ singer-songwriters Town Pump

Taylor Martin (acoustic, jazz)

New Year’s Eve show w/ Free Grass Revival (bluegrass)

Tallgary’s College Street Pub

Tallgary’s College Street Pub

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

New Year’s party w/ Mind Echo (rock)

The Brittany Reilly Band (bluegrass, country)

Ruby Mayfield & friends (alternative, acoustic, rock)

Temptations Martini Bar

Town Pump

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Dance party w/ DJ Steele

The Good Old Boyz (Southern rock)

The 170 La Cantinetta

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Dave Lagadi (smooth jazz)

Bobby Sullivan (piano)

Town Pump

Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

New Year’s Eve w/ Wink Keziah & Delux Motel (Americana, country, roots) Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Live music

Jon Dana (acoustic, folk) Wild Wing Cafe

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Live music w/ Tom Coppola (early) & Marc Keller (late) Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Jenne Sluder (acoustic) Westville Pub

Riyen Roots (“old-school original blues”)

Bone Pony

White Horse

Sat., January 2

Wild Wing Cafe

Bob Margolin Blues Band (Americana, blues)


clubdirectory Complete clubland directory: www.mountainx.com/clubland. Questions or errors? E-mail (clubland@mountainx.com). The 170 La Cantinetta 687-8170 Asheville Civic Center & Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 259-5544 The Back Room (OSO) 697-6828 Barleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tap Room (SH) 255-0504 Beacon Pub 686-5943 The Blackbird 669-5556 Blue Mountain Pizza (OSO) 658-8777 Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center 693-0087 BoBo Gallery (OSO) 254-3426 Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone 684-1024 Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (SA) 285-0400 Cancun Mexican Grill 505-3951 Club 828 252-2001 Club Hairspray (SA) 258-2027 Courtyard Gallery 273-3332 Curras Dom 253-2111 Decades Restaurant & Bar 254-0555 Desoto Lounge 986-4828

Diana Wortham Theater 257-4530 Dockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Restaurant 883-4447 The Dripolator 398-0209 Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar 252-2711 Eleven on Grove 505-1612 Emerald Lounge (OSO) 232- 4372 Feed & Seed + Jamas Acoustic 216-3492 Firestorm Cafe (OSO) 255-8115 Five Fifty Three 631-3810 Frankie Bones 274-7111 Fredâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Parkside Pub & Grill 281-0920 French Broad Brewery Tasting Room 277-0222 Funny Business Comedy Club 318-8909 The Garage 505-2663 Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern (OSO) 232-5800 Grove House Eleven on Grove 505-1612 The Grove Park Inn 252-2711

Guadalupe Cafe 586-9877 The Handlebar (864)233-6173 The Hangar (SA) 684-1213 Havana Restaurant 252-1611 Highland Brewing Company 299-3370 Hollandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grille 298-8780 The Hookah Bar 252-1522 Infusions 665-2161 Iron Horse Station 622-0022 The Lobster Trap 350-0505 Mack Kellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub & Grill 253-8805 Magnoliaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Raw Bar (ISS) 251-5211 Mela 225-8880 Mikeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tavern 281-3096 Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill (SH) 258-1550 New French Bar Courtyard Cafe 225-6445 Never Blue 693-4646 Old Fairview Southern Kitchen 277-7117

Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Malleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Main 246--0898 The Orange Peel (OSO) 225-5851 Pantherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Paw 696-0810 Pisgah Brewing Co. 669-0190 Purple Onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin Vault 254-4993 Red Stag Grill at the Grand Bohemian Hotel 505-2949 Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill 622-0001 Rocket Club 505-2494 Root Bar No.1 299-7597 Rubyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BBQ Shack (ISS) 299-3511 Scandals Nightclub 252-2838 Shovelhead Saloon (SA) 669-9541 Steak & Wine / Satchelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Martini Bar 505-3362 Stella Blue 236-2424 The Still 683-5913 Stockade Brew House 645-1300

Straightaway Cafe (OSO) 669-8856 Switzerland Cafe 765-5289 The Red Room at Temptations (SA) 252-0775 Tallgaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College Street Pub 772-1489 Temptations Martini Bar (SA) 252-0775 Tolliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossing Irish Pub 505-2129 Town Pump (SA) 669-4808 Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz &â&#x20AC;&#x2C6;Blues (SA) 254-7072 Vaso de Vino Wine Bar & Market 687-3838 Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro 254-4698 The Watershed 669-0777 Waynesville Waterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Hole 456-4750 Wedge Brewery 505 2792 Westville Pub (OSO) 225-9782 White Horse 669-0816 Wild Wing Cafe (SA) 253-3066 Xcapades 258-9652

FOOTBALL College and NFL Package

Live Music Weekends 733 Haywood Rd. â&#x20AC;˘ West Asheville (on the corner of Brevard & Haywood Rd.)

828-505-2129

IRISH PUB

OSO: outdoor/patio smoking only â&#x20AC;˘ SH: smoking hours, call clubs for specfics â&#x20AC;˘ ISS: indoor smoking section â&#x20AC;˘ SA: smoking allowed

T O

S M OK E â&#x20AC;&#x2C6;O R â&#x20AC;&#x2C6; N O T â&#x20AC;&#x2C6; T Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2C6;S M OK E

OSO: outdoor/patio smoking only â&#x20AC;˘ SH: smoking hours, call clubs for specfics â&#x20AC;˘ ISS: indoor smoking section â&#x20AC;˘ SA: smoking allowed Contagious (rock covers)

Sun., January 3

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Contra dance

Barleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taproom

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Chuck Lichtenberger Collective (jazz, fusion)

Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm

Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

Hangar

Shag dance & lessons

Open mic night w/ Aaron LaFalce

Club 828

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Country music roundup & dancing

The Oxymorons (improv comedy)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Rocket Club

The Two Guitars of Yasmin & Lou, 10am12:30pm Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm

Asheville Jazz Orchestra (swing, jazz)

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Irish session, 5pm Tom Waits time, late

Temptations Martini Bar

Open mic w/ Pierce Edens

Feed and Seed

Will Rayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mountain Jam Guadalupe Cafe

Ian Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mountain Music Miscellany Jack Of The Wood Pub

Singer/songwriters in the round feat: Dave Desmelick, Angela Easterling, Paul Edleman & Laura Michaels Lobster Trap

Geoff Weeks

Mikeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tavern

Zebras (punk, metal, rock) New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Just Die (punk, thrash, hardcore) w/ Jettison

Chris Rhodes

D Mack Singing jazz session w/ Sharon LaMotte, 7:30pm

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Marc Keller & Company (variety)

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Vinyl at the Vault w/ Chris Ballard Rocket Club

Westville Pub

Rocket Club

Lobster Trap

Sunday jazz jam

Scandals Nightclub

Dance party w/ DJ Stratos & drag show The Hookah Bar

Belly dance showcase w/ live bands Town Pump

Pickinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; at the Pump, open acoustic jam Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Open mic w/ Scott Stewart 7:30pm Apres OM, 11pm

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues) Rock Records w/ Rob

Agent Orange (punk) Stella Blue

Tue., January 5

Particle (rock, jazz, funk, electronica)

Back Room

Aaron LaFalce (pop, rock, acoustic)

Rachel VanSlyke (alternative, acoustic) Beacon Pub

Open mic

Johnny Blackwell (variety, covers)

Eleven on Grove

Mon., January 4

Emerald Lounge

Swing & Tango lessons and dance Tuesday Night Funk Jam

Temptations Martini Bar

THURSDAY 12/31 CZlNZVgÂżh:kZl$ LddYnLddY =daanlddYGZY FREE CHAMPAGNE AT MIDNIGHT

FRIDAY 1/1

I]Z HeVXZ]ZViZgh

SATURDAY 1/2 8Vgn;g^YaZn 9dlcHdji]

TUESDAY 1/5 H^c\Zg"Hdc\lg^iZg^ci]Z GdjcY-"&%eb[ZVijg^c\/ DAVE DESMELIK, ANGELA EASTERING, PAUL EDLEMAN, LAURA MICHAELS

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Perlman (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Coltrane tunesâ&#x20AC;?) Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Marc Keller & Company (variety) Watershed

Live music w/ Robert Greer

BUSOFFICE@LAUGHINGSEED.COM

mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 49


Listen to Bad Ash &

Westville Pub

Blues Jam w/ Mars Fariss White Horse

Irish session, 6:30pm Open mike w/ Parker Brooks, 8:30pm Wild Wing Cafe

Bluegrass & clogging

entertainment writers

every Sunday on

Wed., January 6 Back Room

Open mic

Beacon Pub

Open jam

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Shag dance

Broadway’s

‘80s Night, 10pm

featuring matinee shows

Club 828

Hip-hop open mic Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Eleven on Grove

Zydeco dance & lessons

kitchen open til’ we close 3pm-2am everyday pinball, foosball & a kickass jukebox “It’s bigger than it looks!”

504 Haywood Rd. West Asheville 828-255-1109

Crystal Kind (cosmic reggae)

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Five Fifty Three

Hits & Shits w/ Jamie Hepler

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar)

Red Stag Grill

Frankie Bones

Bobby Sullivan (blues, rock, standards)

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Rocket Club

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Bluegrass jam night, 7pm

“Super dance party” feat: Adam Strange & Crick Nice DJ

Ten Cent Poetry (classical folk)

The Hookah Bar

Garage at Biltmore

Open Mic w/ Sven Hooson

Sequoyah Prep School (Southern rock)

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

‘80s night

Town Pump

Open Mic w/ David Bryan Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Live music

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller (variety)

Waynesville Water’n Hole

Bluegrass jam

Thu., January 7 BoBo Gallery

Those Darlins (pop) w/ Kovacs and the Polar Bear & If You Wannas Selah Dubb (roots, rock, reggae) w/ The Carolina Trio Infusions Lounge

Live music

Iron Horse Station

Open mic w/ Yorky

Bluegrass Jam, 9:30pm Lobster Trap

Hank Bones

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter) Handlebar

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Belly dancing

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Old Time Jam, 6pm

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Ralph Roddenbery (folk, rock) Nine Mile

Mela

Mack Kell’s Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues TUESDAY Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) Hookah Bar Mike’s Side Pocket W EDNESDAY Fred’s Parkside Pub & Grill The Hangar • Infusions Temptations Martini Bar O’Malleys on Main • Holland’s Grille T H URSDAY Beacon Pub • Cancun Mexican Grill Chasers • Club Hairspray Shovelhead Saloon FRIDAY

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Club 828

Hip-hop & DJ night

Backrow Baptists (alternative, country, bluegrass)

Courtyard Gallery

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter)

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Red Stag Grill

Jazz piano w/ Garnell Stuart

MONDAY

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Dylan Sneed (folk, rock, acoustic) & Nikki Talley (indie, singer/songwriter) Open mic & jam

IN  T HE  C L U B S

Handlebar

Frankie Bones

Fred Eaglesmith (country) w/ Baker Maultsby

K ARAO K E

Anne Coombs (jazz, swing)

Infusions • Mack Kell’s • Shovelhead Saloon • Stockade Brew House The 170 La Cantinetta SATURDAY Club Hairspray • Holland’s Grille Infusions • Shovelhead Saloon The Still SUNDAY Bosco’s Sports Zone • College St. Pub Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) The Hangar • Mack Kell’s Wing Cafe • Cancun Mexican Grill

MUSic & EvENTS Open Every Night (except Sundays) Distinctive Pub Fare Served til 1:30am

H 2 NY’s Eve! Marshall A 0 Ruffi n Trio & Guests P Independent P 1 Music Awards’ Nominee - Best Y 0 Blues CD 2009 Champagne Toast at Midnight... Great Drink Specials Then step outside our front door for a fireworks display over new Pack Square Park! Mon - Sat 4:30pm - 2am • 828.281.0920 122 College St., Downtown (below Fiore’s Restaurant)

THURSday, JanUaRy 7TH Marsupial 7pm

Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Kemistry (Southern rock, covers) Stockade Brew House

The Big Ivy Project (bluegrass, folk) Temptations Martini Bar

FRiday, JanUaRy 8TH Kriegsmarine 7pm

SUNDAY • MONDAY NFL FOOTBALL

151” Screen • Wings & Burgers THURSday, JanUaRy 14TH Makia Groove 7pm FRiday, JanUaRy 15TH

Dave Desmelik & Possum Jenkins 8pm

Dance party w/ DJ Steele The 170 La Cantinetta

Dave Lagadi (smooth jazz) Town Pump

Superstar Runner (indie, power-pop) Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

“Chick Singer Showcase” hosted by Peggy Ratusz feat: Jesse of Skinny Legs and All & more Vincenzo’s Bistro

Aaron LaFalce (acoustic guitar, singer/songwriter) Zuma Coffee

Thursday night bluegrass jam

Fri., January 8 Back Room

Open 7 Days a Week PisgahBrewing.com for details Check Us Out on Facebook

Perry Fowler (folk, roots) w/ Jeremy Davis & Elonzo (indie, Southern rock)

Voted Best Local Brewery.

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

50 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Acoustic Swing Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm


Decades Restaurant & Bar

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Rafe Hollsiter & Taylor Martin (Americana)

Film Screening: “Mac Arnold’s Return to the Blues”

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Sat., January 9

Rotating jazz bands

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Eleven on Grove

Salsa & Mambo Dancing, 10pm-2am Dance Lessons, 10:30pm French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Lyndsay Wojcik (soul, folk)

Forty Furies (rock) w/ The Death of Analog (industrial, Gothic)

Back Room

Orange Peel

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Steep Canyon Rangers (bluegrass) w/ The Freight Hoppers

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Purple Onion Cafe

Club 828

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist)

Funny Business Comedy Club

Red Stag Grill

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues)

Conscious Alliance Benefit feat: RBTS Win (electro, folk), Panther God (hip-hop) & Marley Carroll

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Rocket Club

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Anniversary party & free show

42nd Street Jazz Band

Stella Blue

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Straightaway Café

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Screech Owl Serenade (country duo)

Payin’ the Rent (bluegrass, acoustic)

Tallgary’s College Street Pub

Funny Business Comedy Club

Live music

Mike Green (comedy)

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Garage at Biltmore

Mike Green (comedy)

Suttree (visual, religious, melodramatic popular) w/ Angela Faye Martin (singer/ songwriter) & Pilgrim Handlebar

Trend Kill Omega (hard rock) w/ Ghost In The Machine, From Tomorrow, 2nd To None & Waiting for Air Harvest Records

Now You See Them (indie, folk, acoustic) Holland’s Grille

Live Bands

Infusions Lounge

Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues), 7:3010:30pm Iron Horse Station

Sherri Lynn and Mountain Friends (contemporary bluegrass, country) Jerusalem Garden

Belly dancing w/ live music Lobster Trap

Live music by local artists

The Summer Time Whiskey Band (funk, rock) w/ The Jon Douglas Company (alternative, crunk)

Town Pump

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Free Grass Revival (bluegrass) Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Robinella (Americana, bluegrass) & Rob Ickes (acoustic, country)

Live music

Infusions Lounge

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Live music

Bobby Sullivan (piano)

Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Jerusalem Garden

Carol Rifkin & Pauls Creek Band (old-time, vintage bluegrass) White Horse

T h e

7.#´SALL NEWUPSCALE !DULT2OOM3PORTS,OUNGE

Belly dancing w/ live music Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

389 Merrimo n Av e n u e 828.258. 9 8 2 8

with

Keel Brothers, Bawn in the Mash Dwayne Brooke 9pm Welcome The New Year with Vollie & Kari and the

Western Wildcats Dance Lessons at 8pm

Grayson Capps

Sat. 1/2 thur. 1/7

bring in

20rig1ht!0

Lewis (indie, rock) w/ Laura Meyer (folk)

Pocket

NeW YeAr’s eVe

Larry Keel & Natural Bridge,

Fri. 1/1

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Woody Wood & Hollywood Red (soul, alternative country) w/ Rafe Hollister

Live music w/ singer-songwriters

thur. 12/31

Taylor Moore Band (blues, roots)

with Tennessee Hollow 9pm Those Darlins and Kovacs

& The Polar Bear 8:30pm

Fri. 1/8

suttree w/ Pilgrim and Angela Faye Martin 9pm

Sat. 1/9

robinella & rob Ickes 9pm

232-5800 www.thegreyeagle.com 185 Clingman Ave.

Big NY’s Eve Party Champagne Great Drink Specials

M o n d ay

League Night Come join the action

December 31st

T u e s d ay

NYE Party with David Earl

Customer Appreciation Night $1 PBRs

and The Plowshares

W e d n e s d ay

January 1st

Free PooL Awsome specials!

Woody Pines

T h u r s d ay

$1 Vodka Night

F r i d ay

Fabulous Drink Specials s aT u r d ay

oPeN MIC • LIVe MUSIC s u n d ay

Free PooL!! DJ Chubby Knuckles Great Place to Watch Football! BeST DrINK PrICeS IN ToWN Free PING PoNG eVerY NIGHT! We support All Local Breweries on Draft!

Book Your Holiday Parties Now!! Asheville’s Cheers – Where everybody meets! Private Club - Immediate Memberships Available

January 2nd

Open Windows

WNC’s Only Spinning Pole Great Nightly Drink Specials Pool Tables & Games Ladies & Couples Welcome

Pass The Hat Open Jam

Come meet our Gorgeous New Entertainers!

Russ Wilson & His Mighty Mighty Men

(now over 30 Feature Entertainers)

(828) 298-1400

520 Swannanoa River Rd, Asheville, NC 28805 Mon. - Sat. 6:30pm - 2am

January 4th January 5th

Ralph Roddenberry January 6th

January 7th

Backrow Baptists All shows at 9:30 pm unless noted 77b Biltmore Ave., Asheville, NC 828-258-1550 • mo.daddys@gmail.com Check out our music online! myspace.com/modaddysbar

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 51


Nine Mile

club xcapades EROTIC EXOTIC?

Crystal Kind (cosmic reggae) Orange Peel

ZOSO (“ultimate Led Zeppelin experience”) Purple Onion Cafe

Phil & Gaye Johnson (folk, bluegrass, country) Red Stag Grill

675 Merrimon Ave • Asheville, NC

FB;7I;L?I?J

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues) Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Live music

Rocket Club

Anniversary party & free show

ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS

7I>;L?BB;F?PP7$9EC

Scandals Nightclub

WNC Ladies up close & personal

JEI;;J>?IM;;A½I CEL?;IJ?C;I

Stella Blue

$3 Admission • Movie Line 254-1281

New Exotic Cage Stage & 3 Satellite Stages

Delivery or Carry Out until 11pm • 254-5339

Comfy, Casual?

Join us at both locations for our

Just relax in our upscale lounge and take in the views. Enjoy our billiard tables & interactive games. We have one of the largest spirit selections in WNC & have great specials every night.

Mon. - Sat. 7pm - 2am • 21 to Enter

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52 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com


crankyhanke

theaterlistings Friday, Jauary 1-Thursday, January 7

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. (2541281)

movie reviews and listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ is the maximum rating

n

additional reviews by justin souther • contact xpressmovies@aol.com

Please call the info line for updated showtimes. Where the Wild Things Are? (PG) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 Pirate Radio (R) 10:00

pickoftheweek Sherlock Holmes JJJJJ

Carmike Cinema 10 (298-4452) n

Director: Guy Ritchie (RocknRolla) Players: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong, Eddie Marsan Action/Mystery

Rated PG-13

The Story: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson pit their skills against a criminal mastermind who has apparently risen from the grave. The Lowdown: One of the most enjoyable and beautifully crafted films of the year — and built around an interpretation of Holmes and Watson that’s more than a worthy addition to their cinematic predecessors. There’s more pure fun to be had in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes than in anything else currently playing. At least that’s true if you like Ritchie’s directorial style and aren’t outraged — outraged, I tell you — over the film’s take on the world’s first consulting detective. I know people who don’t care for the style, and I’ve seen one person in need of a refund when she found that Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce were no longer involved. Make no mistake, Sherlock Holmes is every inch a Guy Ritchie picture — only it’s a Guy Ritchie picture about Sherlock Holmes. And it’s a Sherlock Holmes picture that o fers a slightly different Holmes. But then — despite some widely held perceptions and misperceptions — there’s really no such thing as an etched-in-stone movie Holmes. From Eille Norwood to Clive Brook to Arthur Wontner to Basil Rathbone to Peter Cushing and beyond, each actor has brought his own stamp to the role. Holmes’ creator, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, was fairly cavalier about the character. When the world’s best-known stage Holmes, William Gillette, asked Doyle’s permission to have Holmes get married, Doyle told him, “I don’t care if you kill him.” Most people’s traditional image of Holmes — Basil Rathbone in a deerstalker with Nigel Bruce as bumbling old Dr. Watson — is hardly the only one. And that Watson has little relation to the one in Doyle’s story. Moreover, when Rathbone and Bruce moved into modern times to fight the Nazis in 1942 with Sherlock Holmes and the Voice of Terror, Holmes starts to put on his deerstalker only to have Watson remind him, “Holmes, you promised,” whereupon Sherlock opts for a nice fedora — not unlike the one Downey affects in the new film. The more things change, the more Sherlock Holmes changes with them. Downey’s Holmes isn’t so much a rethinking of the character as it’s a different look at him — and, for that matter, at his London. For such a heavily stylized film as Sherlock Holmes, it’s actually

The game’s afoot with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. as Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes in Guy Ritchie’s wildly entertaining Sherlock Holmes. a more realistic look at Holmes and his era. This isn’t gauzy, fog-shrouded London, but grimy industrial revolution London. If we pause to think about Holmes in real terms, chances are good that his general work/problem-obsessed nature would extend to a lack of personal hygiene. As for the homoerotic subtext of his relationship with Dr. Watson, this isn’t even new (see Billy Wilder’s 1970 film The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes), but it’s handled here with surprising charm and feeling. The adventure for this new outing is shrewdly devised in that it works on a supernatural premise. It involves a decidedly depraved murderer and criminal mastermind, Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong, RocknRolla), who returns from the grave to plunge England into terror. The supernatural is always a good selling point in this kind of mystery. After all, there’s a reason why The Hound of the Baskervilles with its legendary hound from hell is the most filmed of all Holmes stories. Ritchie’s film is also nicely seasoned with bits of Holmesiana — including bringing in Holmes’ particular weakness, Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), into the mix and a couple shadowy appearances of a certain professor (an obvious setup for a sequel). There are also smile-inducing details for the faithful, which I’ll leave to them to find for themselves. If there’s a weak link in the film, it’s Rachel McAdams as Irene Adler. I’m not sure it’s entirely her fault, since she has the misfortune of trying to compete with the incredible chemistry between Downey and Law. In the scenes where Holmes and Watson aren’t together, there’s something lacking, and McAdams, whose utter Americanness seems a little out of place, doesn’t make up for it. But hey, you’ve got a fantastic Holmes and Watson, an icily

menacing villain, the promise of adventures yet to come and endless directorial panache. I’d call that a cause for celebration — as is the simple fact that the game’s afoot once more. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, some startling images and a scene of suggestive material. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike Cinema 10, Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Cinebarre, Co-ed Cinema, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore 15.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel J

Director: Betty Thomas (John Tucker Must Die) Players: Zachary Levi, David Cross, Jason Lee, Justin Long (voice) Animated Rodent Musical/Adventure

Rated PG

The Story: Everyone’s favorite singing chipmunks are back — whether you like it or not. This time, starting off at high school. The Lowdown: Manages to be both bottom-of-the-barrel and incredibly grating. This might be the first time I’ve watched a movie that’s completely made up of filler. There’s something inherently comforting in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. It’s just as bad as I suspected, creating a sense that everything’s right with the world. If the movie had been better than expected, I’d have to start worrying about my mental faculties, and, worse, I’d fret for the sake of humanity. The movie doesn’t stray far from the origi-

Avatar (PG-13) 12:00, 1:00, 2:15, 3:30, 4:30, 5:55, 7:00, 800, 9:30 Did You Hear About the Morgans? (PG-13) 1:45, 4:35, 7:10, 9:45 Old Dogs (PG) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40 Olivia’s Winter Wonderland (G) Sat-Sun only 1:00 The Road (R) 1:00 (no 1:00 show Sat-Sun), 4:00, 7:00, 9:50 Sherlock Holmes (PG-13) 1:00, 2:00, 4:00, 5:00, 7:00, 8:00, 10:00 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:50 Up in the Air (R) 1:30, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30

Carolina Asheville Cinema 14 (274-9500) n

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (PG) 11:45, 2:00, 4:15, 7:10, 9:25 Avatar 3D (PG-13) 11:30, 3:00, 7:00, 10:25 Avatar 2D (PG-13) 12:00, 3:30, 8:00 The Blind Side (PG-13) 12:15, 3:20, 7:25, 10:20 A Christmas Carol 2D (PG) 11:35 (Sofa Cinema showing) Did You Hear About the Morgans? (PG-13) 11:40, 2:10, 4:40, 7:30, 10:00 Fantastic Mr. Fox (PG) 12:05, 2:30, 4:50, 7:20, 9:35 (Sofa Cinema showing) Invictus (PG-13) 12:20, 3:35, 7:10, 10:15 It’s Complicated (PG-13) 12:30, 3:15, 7:20, 10:10 Nine (PG-13) 11:50, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10:20 Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (R)

2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10:25 (Sofa Cinema showing) The Princess and the Frog (G) 11:25, 1:45, 4:05, 7:00, 9:30 (Sofa Cinema showing) The Road (R) 11:35, 2:20, 5:05, 7:50, 10:35 Sherlock Holmes (PG-13) 12:45, 4:00, 7:15, 10:30 Up in the Air (R) 12:00, 2:30, 5:05, 7:40, 10:15

Cinebarre 7776) n

(665-

n Co-ed Cinema Brevard (883-2200)

Sherlock Holmes (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00

Epic of Hendersonville (6931146) n

Fine Arts Theatre (232-1536) n

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (R) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 (no 7:00 show Tue January 5), Late show FriSat 9:30 The Young Victoria (PG) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, Late show Fri-Sat 9:40

Flatrock Cinema (697-2463) n

It’s Complicated (R) 1:00 (Fri, Sat, Sun), 4:00, 7:00 n Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15 (684-1298)

United Artists Beaucatcher (2981234) n

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (PG) 12:00, 12:30, 2:30, 3:00, 4:50, 5:20, 7:20, 7:50, 9:40, 10:10 The Blind Side (PG-13) 7:10, 10:05 A Christmas Carol 2-D (PG) 12:15, 2:40, 5:00 Invictus (PG-13) 12:50, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00 It’s Complicated (R) 12:10, 4:30, 7:40, 10:25 Nine (PG-13) 12:40, 4:15, 7:30, 10:30 The Princess and the Frog (G) 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 8:00, 10:20

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

starting this week There are no upcoming movies this week.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 53


nowplaying Alvin and the Chipmunks: The SqueakqueL

the performances of Michael Sheen and Timothy Spall. Rated R

Zachary Levi, David Cross, Jason Lee, Justin Long (voice) Animated Rodent Musical/Adventure Everyone’s favorite singing chipmunks are back—whether you like it or not. This time, starting off at high school. Manages to be both bottom-of-the-barrel and incredibly grating. This might be the first time I’ve watched a movie that’s completely made up of filler. Rated PG

Did You Hear About the Morgans? JJ

J

Avatar JJJJ

Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez Science Fiction In the future, an ex-Marine inflitrates the Rated PG-13

The Blind Side JJJJ

Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron, Tim McGraw, Ray McKinnon, Kathy Bates, Jae Head Fact-Based Uplifting Sports Drama Fact-based story of Michael Oher, a poor black kid adopted by an upscale white family. A manipulative, but effective, uplifting sports drama that benefits from a strong cast, but never escapes a sense of condescension and questionable messages. Rated PG-13

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

JJ

Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Clifton Collins Jr., Julie Benz Cornball Action The vigilante MacManus brothers return to Boston to clean the streets of mobster riffraff. A flatly directed actioner full of cheesy, broad humor and macho posturing that comes across like a two-hour-long beer commercial full of uninspired bloodletting. Rated R

Brothers JJJJ

Tune In to Cranky Hanke’s Movie Reviews

5:30 pm Fridays on Matt Mittan’s Take a Stand.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman, Tobey Maguire, Sam Shepard, Clifton Collins Jr. Drama Two brothers—one a war hero and the other an ex-con—must deal with the after-effects of one being a prisoner of war in Afghanistan. A very human, occasionally warm film about family that, unfortunately, too often feels uneven and lacks the appropriate emotional punch it’s looking for. Rated R

A Christmas Carol JJJ

Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins, Robin Wright Penn, Fionnula Flanagan Re-Animated Christmas Story Charles Dickens’ classic Christmas ghost story gets the Disney treatment. An overblown, but occasionally interesting, version of the story that often seems more like a theme-park ride than a serious attempt at telling the tale. Rated PG

The Damned United JJJJJ

JJJJJ

Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall, Colm Meaney, Jim Broadbent Fact-Based Drama In order to get even with an old nemesis football (soccer) manager, Brian Clough accepts the job of handling a team he utterly despises. A fact-based drama— with comedy overtones—that turns out to be one of the year’s most entertaining films, thanks in no small part to

Hugh Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sam Elliot, Mary Steenburgen, Michael Kelly Romantic Comedy After witnessing a murder, two married New Yorkers on the outs are sent to a small town in Wyoming by the witness relocation program. A harmless romantic comedy that fails due to a lack of chemistry between its leads and a complete lack of originality. Rated PG-13

Fantastic Mr. Fox JJJJJ

(Voices) George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Michael Gambon Animated Comedy Bored with life as a respectable fox citizen, Mr. Fox reverts to a life of poultry thievery and outwitting local farmers. Witty, sophisticated comedy, splendid voice acting, brilliant animation and personal filmmaking combine to create perhaps the most pure fun to be had at the movies all year. Rated PG

InvictusJJJJ

Morgan Freem an, Matt Damon, Tony Kgoroge, Patrick Mofokeng, Matt Stern, Adjoa Andoh Fact-Based Drama The story of Nelson Mandela helping to unite South Africa through a rugby team and a sense of national pride. A very good, interestingly made film that gets close to greatness without quite making it. There are, however, sufficient compensations to make it worthwhile. Rated PG-13

It’s ComplicatedJJJ

Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, John Krasinski, Lake Bell Romantic Comedy A divorcée begins having an affair with her ex-husband, a man she hasn’t been married to for a decade. A professionally made film with a good central performance by Meryl Streep that’s still never good enough to overcome its inability to create likable, believable characters. Rated R

Me and Orson Welles JJJJJ

Zac Efron, Claire Danes, Christian McKay, Ben Chaplin, Zoe Kazan, Eddie Marsan Historical Comedy/Drama A young man finds himself a part of Orson Welles’ Mercury Theatre and their modern-dress production of Julius Caesar. A wildly entertaining, beautifully crafted film that captures the excitement of the theater—and something of the genius that was Orson Welles. Rated PG-13

Nine JJJJ

Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren Musical Italian filmmaker Guido Contini tries to bluff his way through making a film he can’t seem to write, while sorting out his personal life. It’s big, lively and has a distinctive driving force, but this film of the Broadway show never quite scales the heights it might have. Still, it gets near enough that it’s certainly worth your while. Rated PG-13

Old Dogs J

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Robin Williams, John Travolta, Seth Green, Kelly Preston, Conner Rayburn, Ella Bleu Travolta “Family” Comedy A 50-odd-year-old man finds himself saddled with a pair of children he didn’t know he had and has to learn how to be a dad. A pitiful, pathetic, lazy attempt at bilking money out of the market for familyfriendly fare during the holiday season. Rated PG

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire JJJJJ

Shepherd, Lenny Kravitz Drama A grimly realistic look at the life of a largely illiterate Harlem teen, the circumstances that created her, and the people who try to help her. Maybe not quite the brilliant film it’s been touted to be; nevertheless, this often brutal—and always brutally frank—movie is a strong, must-see work. Rated R

The Princess and the Frog JJJJ

(Voices) Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, Keith David, Michael-Leon Wooley, Jennifer Cody Animated Musical/Fantasy A prince gets turned into a frog, and in turn, accidentally turns a serving girl into one when he mistakes her for a princess. Beautiful to look at, but so determinedly old-fashioned that it feels slightly processed and formula-driven. Rated G

The Road JJJJJ

Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce Post-Apocalyptic Drama A man and his son attempt to survive in a hopeless, post-apocalyptic world beset with myriad dangers. A stark, unrelentingly grim film that works due to strong performances and an underlying sense of humanity that occasionally peaks through. Rated R

Sherlock Holmes JJJJJ

Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong, Eddie Marsan Action/Mystery Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson pit their skills against a criminal mastermind who has apparently risen from the grave. One of the most enjoyable and beautifully crafted films of the year—and built around an interpretation of Holmes and Watson that’s more than a worthy addition to their cinematic predecessors. Rated PG-13

2012 JJJ

John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt Mega-Budget Disaster-thon Roland Emmerich’s take on what happens when the Mayan calendar runs out. Grotesquely overlong and overproduced, but if you want to see the world end without actually being there, it’ll probably fill the bill. Rated PG-13

The Twilight Saga: New Moon JJ

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Michael Sheen Teen Romance/Horror/Fantasy More teencentric romantic entanglements among the supernatural set and one whiny girl. It’s better made than the first one, but it may be even dumber in its attempt to go for the world’s record in moping teens. Rated PG-13

Up in the Air JJJJJ

George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, Jason Bateman, J.K. Simmons, Melanie Lynskey Dramatic Comedy A man whose job is to fly around the country and fire people finds his way of life—and his perceptions of life—changing. Bitterly funny on the one hand and heartbreaking on the other, Up in the Air is a film of surprising depth and humanity. Rated R

The Young Victoria JJJJJ

Emily Blunt, Rupert Friend, Paul Bettany, Miranda Richardson, Jim Broadbent, Thomas Kretschmann Romance/Biopic The story of Queen Victoria’s early years and her romance with Prince Albert. Much more entertaining, lively and human than the subject matter probably suggests, this lovely film benefits from literate writing, stylish direction and strong performances. Rated PG

Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe, Mo’Nique, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Sherri

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nal’s blueprint. The chipmunks — Alvin (Justin Long), Simon (Matthew Gray Gubler, (500) Days of Summer) and Theodore (Jesse McCartney) — remain huge pop stars, because people can’t seem to get enough high-pitched covers of generic pop songs (which is actually kind of believable). This translates into a bevy of agonizingly shrill musical numbers and the usual misadventures one can only expect from a trio of animated rodentia. But don’t get into a dither, there are some differences afoot here. For one, The Squeakquel sees the Chipmunks heading off to high school, all the better to cash in on the High School Musical demographic (the theory being that tween girls can’t differentiate between Zac Efron and a chipmunk). There’s also the inclusion of the Chipettes, a female version of the Chipmunks, out to gain their own celebrity. Or at least with all these pants-less animals running around we’re told they’re female — my hope is we’re just setting up an elaborate Crying Game reference for part three. The movie is also educational in that it shows what a difference good representation can do for an actor. Jason Lee, the de facto human star of the first film, is barely on-screen, since his character, Dave, ends up in traction due to some chipmunkinduced calamity. He’s instead replaced with Dave’s relative Toby (TV actor Zachary Levi), a slacker video-gamer geek, who’s included just to shoehorn in a sloppy, superfluous romantic subplot to pad the running time. David Cross comes out worse than anyone. Not only is he as painfully and hopelessly awful, he also logs more screen time than he did in the first one. You’d think the man would know better. One Chipmunks movie is maybe excusable. I can’t imagine being seen in public after making the second one. In a way, this Chipmunks film is a bit classier. Unlike the first movie, there’s a complete lack of chipmunk-droppings ingestion. Instead, we’ve graduated to gags involving Dutch Ovens. Now that’s what I call progress. The whole mess is pretty dire. The Chipmunks’ voices and high jinks not only assault your intelligence and sensibilities, but you’re physical senses, too. The Squeakquel is such an all-encompassing waste that you spend the entire movie thinking it can’t sink any lower than it just did. But then something called Digger the NASCAR Gopher makes a cameo and you realize, oh yes, the bar can be lowered, and that Alvin, Simon and Theodore are just the rodents to do it. Rated PG for some mild rude humor. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande 15, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

It’s Complicated JJJ

Director: Nancy Meyers (The Holiday) Players: Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, John Krasinski, Lake Bell Romantic Comedy

Rated R

The Story: A divorcée begins having an affair with her ex-husband, a man she hasn’t been married to for a decade. The Lowdown: A professionally made film with a good central performance by Meryl Streep that’s still never good enough to

overcome its inability to create likable, believable characters. I suppose It’s Complicated could be considered a good movie. It’s well made. It features a strong performance by Meryl Streep, who pulls the bulk of the film along on strength of will alone. There are clever moments, and moments that contain genuine maturity and intelligence. Judging by the applause I heard as the end credits rolled, for many, this is enough. Streep plays Jane, a well-to-do bakery owner, who’s still adjusting to her decade-old divorce and whose big goal in life seems to be having “the perfect kitchen.” Why she needs to add on to the already gigantic house where she lives alone is never really explained, but this plot point does, through the magic of screenwriting, allow quiet, reserved architect Adam (Steve Martin) to enter her life. But before the inevitable sparks can fly, Jane starts sleeping with her now remarried exhusband Jake (Alec Baldwin). Inevitable complications ensue. As a foundation, this is workable, but underneath the film’s slick veneer something fetid lies. This is a Nancy Meyers film, after all, and It’s Complicated — like Something’s Gotta Give (2003) and The Holiday (2006) — suffers from the exact same problems as her previous output, right down to its banal title. Most of the film’s issues stem from the fact that the movie is peopled with completely unsympathetic characters with no anchor in reality. In Meyers’ universe, everyone drives costly cars, has exorbitantly fancy houses, wears expensive clothes, always has a glass of wine at hand (there’s more boozing here than in a W.C. Fields’ movie) and probably uses the French pronunciation of “croissant.” It’s a place where people eat lavender ice cream, take trips to the French countryside, and the only minorities we see work in the service industry. Sure, all this bourgeois gallivanting can be written off as romcom fantasy and whimsy, but every character is so disconnected from even the vaguest sense of reality that it was impossible for me to feel sympathetic towards any of them. Everyone in the film is either smarmy or emotionally retarded or both. Jane, even 10 years later, isn’t over Jake, despite the fact that he’s both a lech and remarried (that Streep — through sheer power of charm — does anything with her character must be some sort of act of God). When Jane’s children — all fullgrown — find out about her affair with Jake, their solution is to run away and have a pajama party at big sis’ house, where they talk about how they’re still not over their parents’ divorce. The film is refreshing in its occasional sexual frankness — especially since it is centered around honest-to-goodness adults — and its refusal to completely cop-out. But this is Nancy Meyer’s we’re talking about, and she has a habit of undermining herself. I’ve heard her movies referred to as “architecture porn,” but it’s more a cross between Better Homes and Gardens and Skinemax. There’s no substance — no emotion — to any of it, just a lot of gloss. For some, this might be enough. For myself, it was just frustrating. Rated R for some drug content and sexuality. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Cinebarre, Epic of Hendersonville, Flatrock Cinema, Regal Biltmore Grande 15, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 55


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Director: Rob Marshall (Chicago) Players: Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren

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LZl^h]ndjVhV[ZVcY =VeenCZlNZVg 56 DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 5, 2010 • mountainx.com

Rated PG-13

The Story: Italian filmmaker Guido Contini tries to bluff his way through making a film he can’t seem to write, while sorting out his personal life. The Lowdown: It’s big, lively and has a distinctive driving force, but this film of the Broadway show never quite scales the heights it might have. Still, it gets near enough that it’s certainly worth your while. Rob Marshall’s undeniably flashy and ambitious film version of the Broadway show Nine has exactly the same problem for me that the show itself had when I saw Tommy Tune’s original production in 1982 — an almost complete lack of memorable songs. That, I think you’ll agree, is a singular drawback for a musical, though it’s one that surprisingly doesn’t destroy Marshall’s film. Despite the fact that “Be Italian” is the only tune I can remember a scant few hours after having seen the movie, Nine, as an overall work, still resonates with me on another level. I mayn’t even be able recall the names of the other songs, but I can recall the emotional impact of a few of them as presented by Marshall and as performed by Marion Cotillard and Nicole Kidman, regardless of the “in one ear out the other” quality of the Maury Yeston songs. The songs aren’t bad, merely undistinguished, but the film raises them to another level — at least while they’re on the screen — on several occasions. For those unfamiliar with the basic premise of Nine, it’s a work grounded in Federico Fellini’s 1963 film 8 1/2, a semi-autobiographical work in the vein of rich fantasy that focuses on a filmmaker tussling with his inability to come up with more than the merest notion of his new film amid his magnificently disordered personal life. In the first instance, what Fellini pulled off was the unthinkable act of turning writer’s block into an epic personal fantasy. Nine follows the concept — it even duplicates certain scenes — and occasionally enlarges on them. There’s an inherent problem with any such undertaking, however, because it takes one man’s very personal fantasy of his own life and tries to turn it into someone else’s fantasy. While 8 1/2 is about Fellini, Nine is clearly not about Rob

Marshall. Something is inevitably lost in the transition. A lot of what is lost, though, is the sense of wry personal humor and the feeling that the filmmaker himself is at a loose end and afraid that maybe he’s a fake. This, in turn, causes Daniel Day-Lewis’ interpretation of Guido Contini (the Fellini character) to be more angst-ridden, less fun, and strangely less sympathetic. I don’t blame DayLewis — he’s very good in the role as it stands. I blame the inescapable distancing effect. All in all, the screenplay by Michael Tolkin and the late Anthony Minghella is a decided improvement over the original play — at least so far as I can recall the 1982 stage production — dispensing with the play’s bouts of narration and adding more dialogue to tell the story. But — as might be expected from the writers in question — some of the more carnival aspects that made it from 8 1/2 to the play are muted. Penélope Cruz’s Carla is never as magnificently preposterous as either the stage version or Sandra Milo in the original film. The downside is that she never gets to become more human as the story progresses. As filmmaking, the film has a lot going for it. Frankly, I liked it a good deal more than Chicago (2002) as a movie, if only because it’s far less reverential toward its source material. Marshall is more playful here, more cinematically adventurous. The film feels freer, and the editing and intercutting are more stylishly aggressive. That’s an interesting choice for Marshall, since one of the things that was admired in many quarters where Chicago was concerned was that it was quite unlike the kinetic vision of Baz Luhrmann with Moulin Rouge! (2001). While this new effort is still clearly Marshall’s work, it’s also a lot more like Luhrmann’s approach. At bottom, what you have is a good film of a fairly good show of a brilliant movie. That’s not so bad, all things considered. And the fact that it’s not determined to dumb itself down to win viewers — the film assumes you’re coming to it with a basic knowledge of the idea and its origins — is a big plus. Rated PG-13 for sexual content and smoking. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande 15, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.


Classified Advertising Sales Team:

marketplace

• Tim Navaille: 828-251-1333 ext.111, tnavaille@mountainx.com • Rick Goldstein: 828-251-1333 ext.123, rgoldstein@mountainx.com • Arenda Manning: 828-251-1333 ext. 138, amanning@mountainx.com

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The Green Family Goes Green

The FAQs About Green Building Mrs. Green grew frantic while preparing her holiday presents: She ran out of wrapping paper. Her daughter, Miss Green, IRXQGKHUULÀLQJWKURXJKDOO of her storage boxes in a search for useful material. “Mom, why don’t you just re-use some paper we already have in the house?” Miss Green asked. “You could wrap some presents with the comics from the newspaper, or use pages from a magazine we have already read.” “Honey, you’re a lifesaver! That paper was just going to go in the recycle bin anyways. Next year, we should make some re-usable gift bags out of fabric and then we won’t have to worry about wasteful wrapping again.” And with that, the Greens had a great holiday season.

provided by the WNC Green Building Council www.wncgbc.org

p. 66

Real EstateSpotlight a paid advertising feature highlighting the best in local real estate

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10% DOWN • 10% INTEREST • 10 YEAR TERM 10/10/10 Owner Financing package, offering residents the opportunity to reserve a lot in the community for a small down payment and monthly payment, even if they are not quite yet ready to build. It will allow future residents who are still waiting to sell a home, or are not looking to build for a few years, to secure a position in WNC’s most progressive sustainable ecovillage. Too good of an opportunity to pass up. Crest Realty, LLC: (828) 255-7787. villagesatcrestmountain.com

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Out-Of-Town Property $215,000 • FLORIDA COASTAL JEWEL 2BR, 2.5BA townhouse. • Walk to beach. Pool, tennis courts. RV/boat storage. (321) 777-7428. Photos available: jeanfer@bellsouth.net

Real Estate Services

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appliances, balconies, fitness penthouse: $525,000 • 1BR:

1 DAY ROOM TRANSFORMATION Custom painting, decorative finishes, wallpaper installation/removal. • 15 years experience. • Meticulous • Timely • Reasonable. Heather, (828) 215-4365. Custom Home Interior Accents.

ASHEVILLE AIRPORT EXPRESS is a locally owned and operated transportation company. Asheville Airport Express Provides shuttle service to and from Asheville Regional Airport. Asheville Airport Express Provides service to the entire greater Asheville region. We provide quality shuttle transportation at affordable prices to the entire greater Asheville region. Our services include: Asheville Regional Airport shuttle, hotel shuttle, corporate and group transportation, charter service and small package delivery within the coverage areas. 828-215-1371.

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FIND OUT WHY! Folks are calling City Real Estate for exploring the art or finding your home. Sales and Rentals handled professionally and efficiently. We help you find “Views From All Angles”. (828) 210-2222. AshevilleCityRealEstate.com

*Based on 100% financing, APR 4.229% on 5 year ARM. No prepayment penalty, no balloon payment, no PMI. Rates are subject to change at any time. Based on 80% 1st mortgage of $111,920 (principal + interest) and 20% 2nd mortgage of $27,980 (interest only) APR 4.125%. Both loans are variable rate, subject to change at 5 years. Select condos only. Does not include taxes and insurance. Nitch Real Estate: (828) 654-9394 or bricktonvillage.com

Painting

Kitchen & Bath ELK MOUNTAIN ASSOCIATES We specialize in • re-fitting Bathrooms and Kitchens and finishing Basements • adding Garages, Porches and • Sunrooms. • Professional education and experience. Call (828) 242-1950 or (for all our information): elkmountainassociates.com

RELIABLE REPAIRS! Quality work! All types maintenance/repair, indoor/outdoor. • Excellent water leak detection/correction! • Wind damaged shingle/roof repair! 38 years experience! Responsible! Honest! Harmonious! References! Call Brad, you’ll be Glad! (828) 273-5271. THANK YOU ALL! My thanks to all of my clients for their patronage throughout 2009. I’m wishing you a most abundant and joyous New Year. HIRE A HUSBAND HANDYMAN SERVICES. Stephen Houpis. 828-280-2254.

Services

Computer COMPUTER SERVICE AT YOUR DOORSTEP We Come To You! • PC and Mac • Slow computer? We’ll speed it up. • Repairs • Upgrades • Networking • Tutoring. Senior Citizen/Nonprofit Discounts. Call Christopher’s Computers, 828-670-9800. Member Better Business Bureau of WNC. christopherscomputers.com

Commercial Listings

Commercial Property 12,000 SQFT RECORDING STUDIO • WEST ASHEVILLE Or Dance or other studio. • For sale or lease, all or part, triple net. • Short or long term lease. Includes 3000 sqft dance room: 12 work rooms underneath, 5 office spaces, 7 bathrooms (3 full) and a • Huge 3500 sqft loft Apartment above, with pool, hot tub, stainless commercial kitchen, gas fireplace, wet bar, etc. • Serious inquires only. (828) 259-3663. COMMERCIAL FOR SALE • Downtown, old fashioned building w/character on busy 0.25 acre corner, reduced, $675,000. • Downtown, Coxe Avenue one story building, approximately 1800 sqft, affordable price $295,000. • Downtown, Lexington Avenue turn-key coffee bar, $333,000. • The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com SOUTH ASHEVILLE OFFICE SPACE • Near hospital. Located in a family doctor practice. Hardwood floors, fireplace, parking. $785/month. Steve, 828-273-9545.

Business Rentals 1 MONTH FREE! (W/12 month lease). River Arts Studios starting at $180/month, includes utilities. Call 250-9700 or e-mail: rega@charterinternet.com ASHEVILLE • ALL POINTS Check out our inventory of commercial property starting at $595-$6000 monthly lease or $295K and up for sale. Paula Cooper, The Real Estate Center, (828) 775-1485. www.recenter.com BE ON BUSY TUNNEL ROAD! Anchor space to starter space available from 300 sqft to 3500 sqft. Great for Medical, Office or Studio use. Contact (828) 215-2865 for showings.


BUSY BUSINESS CORRIDOR Space available on Smokey Park Highway, approximately 700 sqft. Great visibility! $700/month. Call (828) 215-2865 for showings. CONVENIENT OFFICE SPACE Samasati Healing Center, Montford Avenue. $450/month, includes all utilities. Call Tim: 279-6393 for information. DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE: For lease. Retail and office suites, 222 to 2,964 sqft. Very prominent locations. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com DOWNTOWN OFFICE SPACE For lease. Above City Bakery, Biltmore Avenue. Approximately 775 sqft. Natural light. Spacious. info@ sycamorepartners.net LARGE TREATMENT ROOM In Healing Arts Practice. Ideal for massage therapist. Available 2-3 days per week. Large parking lot. Waiting room. Downtown Asheville. Phyllis, 828-606-2382. LEXINGTON AVENUE Vanilla shell w/loads of character, hardwood floors, exposed beams, 3 bathrooms, large windows, $3,950/month. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

LEXINGTON LOFTS Renovated restaurant and retail spaces between 11002000 sqft on Lexington and Rankin Avenues w/competitive lease rates; ready for upfit mid-2010. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com LEXINGTON STATION 2000+ sqft, first floor, high ceilings, hardwoods throughout, one handicap accessible restroom, parking. $2200/month. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com NORTH ASHEVILLE Basement level of the Sherwin Williams building, approximately 6500 sqft, $3000/month. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com RIVER DISTRICT 6,000 sqft shell - artists; flexible uses. Owner will upfit for Class A office. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

Rentals

Apartments For Rent Glen Beale, *2nd month free*, $575-$675/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com $325/MONTH CANTON; $450/MONTH CANDLER Nice, renovated 1BR apartments; minutes from downtown Asheville. No smoking; no pets. Call (828) 337-5447. 1 AND 2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS Starting at $595/month. Move now and get *January Free! (* Must move in by 12/31/09). Call 274-4477. EHO. woodsedge.webs.com 1-2BR, 1-2BA, HENDERSONVILLE, 2010 LAUREL PARK, coin-op laundry, $495-$655/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 1, 2, 3 BEDROOM APARTMENTS From $525$1500. • Huge selection! • Pet friendly. (828) 251-9966. Alpha-Real-Estate.com 12,000 SQFT RECORDING STUDIO • WEST ASHEVILLE Or Dance or other studio. • For sale or lease, all or part, triple net. • Short or long term lease. Includes 3000 sqft dance room: 12 work rooms underneath, 5 office spaces, 7 bathrooms (3 full) and a • Huge 3500 sqft loft Apartment above, with pool, hot tub, stainless commercial kitchen, gas fireplace, wet bar, etc. • Serious inquires only. (828) 259-3663. 1BR, 1.5BA NORTH • 154 Barnard. $625/month. Bonus room, dishwasher. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA CENTRAL • 15 Grindstaff. Carpet/vinyl. $525/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 10 Lenox. $635/month. Porch. Heat included. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 12 Golf St. $625/month. Hardwood floors, gas heat. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 7 Banbury Cross. $525/month. Hardwood floors, high ceilings. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 7 Murdock. $530/month. Porch, water included. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA WEST • 19 Brucemont, $590/month. Porch, hardwood floors. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

1BR, 1BA • 37 Skyview. $545-$575/month. Nice views. 2nd month is FREE. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR/1BA WEST • 257 Sandhill, A/C, W/D hookups. $715/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

1BR/1-1.5BA NORTH • 265 Charlotte, hardwood floors, coin-op laundry. $625$725/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR/2BA, ARDEN • 216 Weston, A/C, W/D hookups. $795/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

1BR/1BA NORTH • 83 Edgemont, water included. $495/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR/1BA, EAST • 314 Fairview, porch, $525/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2-3BR, 1.5BA NORTH • 30 Clairmont. Close to shopping and dining. Water included. $615-$635/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2-3BR, 2BA, NORTH, 81 LAKESHORE, A/C, coin-op laundry, deck, $675$725/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1.5BA MONTFORD • 346 Montford. $750/month. Hardwood floors, fireplace. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA Duplex - South • Gas heat. $575/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty 2BR, 1BA EAST • 28 Hillendale. $625/month. Sunporch, carpet. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 69 Rice Branch. $895/month. Fireplace, deck. $895/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA SOUTH • 6 Lakewood. $630/month. W/D hookups. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA WEST • 9 King Arthur. Dishwasher, baseboard heat. $625/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA WEST • 92 Appalachian Way. $895/month. Harwood floors, W/D connections. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA, EAST, 7 LINDSEY, A/C, W/D hookups, $595/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA, NORTH, 365 Weaverville, w/d hookups, $435-$555/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA EAST • 2484 Riceville Rd. Open floor plan, porch. $615/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA, SOUTH Skyland Heights, $595/month, 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2Br. 1.5BA NORTH • 172 Macon. Garage, dishwasher. $695/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

3BR, 1BA NORTH • 22 Westall. Close to UNCA. Water included. $695/month. 828-253-1517. wwwleslieandassoc.com 3BR, 2BA EAST • 126 Aurora Dr. Carpet, W/D hookups. $750/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com A HOME IN THE MOUNTAINS • GREAT PRICE! Live in a beautiful, green, conveniently located scenic resort-style community! • Fireplaces • Heated pool • Fitness Center and more. Call (828) 687-0638. kensingtonplaceapts.com ACTON WOODS APARTMENTS • Beautiful 2BR, 2BA, loft, $850/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $750. Include gas log fireplace, water, storage. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty BLACK MOUNTAIN • 2BR, 1BA. Heatpump, central air, W/D connection. Nice area. Only $495/month. 828-252-4334. CENTRAL • 1BR. Heat and water provided. $620/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty. CENTRAL • 1BR. Heat and water provided. $620/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty. CHARMING UPSTAIRS STUDIO APARTMENT Renovated house in Norwood Park near UNCA. Private entrance, off-street parking. $660/month. All utilities + cable TV and wireless internet included. No pets/smoking. Security deposit, references. Patti: (828) 230-3210. DUPLEX • HENDERSONVILLE 2BR. • WD connections. Fenced backyard. Very convenient, close to downtown. $525/month includes water. 423-5160.

EFFICIENCY APARTMENT • 1BR/1BA, Haw Creek. Quiet neighborhood near cul-desac, convenient to town. 450 sq.ft. Excellent condition. Ceramic tile bath, kitchen, carpeted livingroom/bedroom. Closet space, extra storage. W/D, electric, water, cable included. No smokers, no pets, no drugs. Security deposit, references. $485/month. 828-298-0337. EFFICIENCY APARTMENT • Available immediately. 289 E Chestnut ST. Ground floor units available, $450/month. No pets. 828-350-9400. GET QUALITY RESULTS! I received calls from a lot of high quality renters, as opposed to other publications I’ve tried. I will continue to advertise with Mountain Xpress. Patricia H. You too, can find the ideal renter, just call us! (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace. GLEN BRIDGE APARTMENTS • 1BR, 1BA. $450/month. Includes water/garbage. Small complex in Arden. Move in special with one year lease. www.arcagencyasheville.com 828-350-9400. HENDERSONVILLE • 1BR Studio. Walking distance to downtown. Includes water. Only $325/month. 828-252-4334. KENILWORTH • 1BR, upstairs unit. Hardwood floors. $475/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty

STUDIO • South. Forestdale. 2BR, 1BA. A/C. 2nd month rent FREE. $525-$650/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com UNFURNISHED 1, 2, 3 BEDROOM APARTMENTS • Available in West Asheville. Water, garbage included. Washer/dryer connections available. $529.00 -$649.00. Call 828-252-9882. rbaker@orionra.com STUDIO/1BA NORTH • Fall Special! 85 Merrimon, all utilities included. Furnished. $550/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

Mobile Homes For Rent 14X80 • OAKLEY AREA 3BR, 2BA. • Fireplace in living room. Stove, refrigerator, garbage pickup, lawn care provided. WD connections. • No pets. $585/month. 298-8939. 2BR, 1BA • Close to schools, shopping, I-26 and I-40. Minutes from downtown Asheville. $495/month. Call David: 828-777-0385. WEST ASHEVILLE • 3BR, 2BA near downtown. W/D connection. Excellent condition. $595/month. 828-252-4334.

Condos/ Townhomes For Rent

LEICESTER • Available immediately. 1BR with office. $550/month. 828-350-9400. www.arcagencyasheville.com MONTFORD STUDIO • small, bright, basement apartment. Walk to town. Available 1/15, $575/month + security. 6 month lease. W/D, D/W. Includes utilities. Quiet nonsmoker, indoor-only cat possible. 828-254-6642. NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES •Special• Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 2BR, 1BA. $495/month. 3BR, 1BA $595/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334 NORTH ASHEVILLE • 2BR, 1BA. Heat pump, central air. W/D connection. Close to Beaver Lake. $495/month. 828-252-4334. NORTH • 1BR. Hardwood floors. $500/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty

DUPLEX • HISTORIC MONTFORD Unique and spacious 1BR, 1BA. Gourmet kitchen, radiant heat floors, high ceilings w/exposed beams. Laundry room w/WD. Pet friendly w/private backyard. $850/month. Call Tim: 279-6393.

OFF CHARLOTTE ST • Clean, furnished, weekly apartments. Four week minimum. Efficiency and rooms. Includes wireless, laundry, off-street parking. Secure building. Walk to downtown and busline. 828-232-1042.

EAST 1BR BUNGALOW APARTMENT Quiet, wooded, convenient. • Pet considered. • No smoking. $550/month. 230-2511.

STUDIO 1-2BR, 1BA DOWNTOWN • 68 N. French Broad Ave. $625$775/month. Mountain Views. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2 MONTHS FREE!* (on 13 month lease term) on 1, 2 and 3BR condos. • A beautiful community with fitness center, pool, playground, business center and car wash. * (Move-in month free and following month). • • Hurry, offer ends December 31, 2009. • Call Seasons at Biltmore Lake: (828) 670-9009 for more details or visit: www.ownseasons.com 2BR. 1.5BA NORTH • 47 Albermarle. $845/month. Fireplace, deck. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com BEAUCATCHER MOUNTAIN • Close to downtown, hospitals. 2BR, 2BA. • Great Winter views! • Fireplace, deck, washer/dryer. Nice pool! • $950/month, includes condo fee, water. (828) 712-1675. DOWNTOWN CONDO 2BR, 2BA, hardwoods, stainless appliances, granite countertops, jet tub, balcony, fitness center, parking, $1550/month. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

mountainx.com

FLETCHER • 2BR, 1.5BA townhouse available for immediate rental. Very nice unit with one car garage. Duplex style living, very convenient to I-26 and south Asheville shopping/restaurants. One small pet considered. $800 per month. 828-350-9400. NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES •Special• Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. 2BR, 1BA. $495/month • 3BR, 1BA 595/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334 TOWNHOMES AT CONNER CREEK • 38 Amersham Lane, Fletcher. 3BR, 2.5BA. Gas fireplace, hardwood floors, deck, refrigerator, D/W, W/D, 1-car garage. $875/month. 904 501-7323.

Homes For Rent 1BR, 1BA $650/month. Tucked-away, quiet property with gorgeous mountain views. Only 15 to 20 minutes from downtown Asheville. This is a charming, round Deltec house with two separate levels, each with a private entrance. Lower level available. Has one bedroom, full bath, open great room and a large, all season porch which can double as a second bedroom. Appliances and washer/dryer. Pets considered with deposit. Please Contact Lorette at 828-319-9560.

4BR, 2BA ARDEN • 6 Strathmore. $1495/month. Garage, fenced yard. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com ARDEN, OAK FOREST • 3BR, 2BA with full basement/garage. Nice area. Reduced to $1050/month. $30 application fee. 828-350-9400. www.arcagencyasheville.com ARDEN • 1 home available from $895/month. Great layouts. 828-350-9400. www.arcagencyasheville.com ASHEVILLE AREA RENTALS $550-$1950/month. • 1East. • 3-West. • 3-North. • 3-South. • Century 21 Mountain Lifestyles: (828) 684-2640, ext 17. For more details: www.DebraMarshall.com BRAND NEW • 2BR/1BA Mountain Home Cottage. Furnished. Suits 2 or 3. Bryson City, Sawmill Creek Rd. $500/month. 352-378-8896, anything@gator.net CANDLER • 3BR, 3BA. Private. $1,200/month. Call 828-253-0758. Carver Realty

1ST CALL US! 2, 3 and 4BR homes from $700-2500. • Pet friendly. • Huge selection! (828) 251-9966 Alpha-Real-Estate.com 20 MINUTES NORTH OF ASHEVILLE 3BR, 2BA. Clean and spacious. WD connections. Private, beautiful setting. Deck, garden space. $800/month. Call evenings: 658-1718. 2BR, 1BA ARDEN • 85 Tampa. $1135/month. Oak floors, fireplace. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA KENILWORTH • 271 Forest Hill. $895/month. Garage, back yard. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 42 Hollywood. $850/month. Porches, hardwood floors. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA NORTH • 27 Spooks Mill Cove. $1075/month. Views, all utilities included. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

COZY CHALET • 1244 sq.ft. 2BR, 2BA, loft, garage, covered deck, views, private close to hospitals. On 1 acre, washer/dryer, tile, hardwood floors, stainless steel appliances. Option to lease 6 months or monthly. $950/month. 828-545-0593. HAW CREEK • 2BR 1BA, A/C W/D hookups dishwasher, disposal, fireplace, pergo flooring. 1 car garage. 850/month. 713-2467 HAW CREEK • 3BR, 2.5BA. 2 car garage, storage room, D/W disposal W/D hookups gas logs. Newer house. 2000 sq.ft. $1400/month. 713-2467. NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES •Special• Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. 2BR, 1BA. $495/month. 3BR, 1BA $595/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334.

The area’s largest selection of Rental Homes under one roof. Tel: (828) 650-6880 Toll Free (800) 789-1135 x 6880 PO Box 580, 2602 Hendersonville Road, Arden, NC 28704

www.tonsofrentals.com

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jobs OFF THE HOOK! We got a great response from our ad for our Rental house in the Mountain Xpress! The phone rang off the hook! Thanks, Ander, owner, Design Painting. Get your Apartment or House rented quickly and affordably. Call (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace. RIVER ARTS DISTRICT • 2BR + office, 1.5BA, W/D, gas heat. 2 porches + deck. New everything! Pets considered. Available now. $1200/month. 828-350-7603. SOUTH • Off Hendersonville Rd. 2BR, 1BA. $675/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty. SOUTHCHASE • 3BR, 2.5BA. Gas heat, 2 car garage, nice neighborhood. $1250/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty WEAVERVILLE/BARNARDSVI LLE • Available immediately. 2BR with office. Views on 1 acre. No pets considered. $795/month. 828-350-9400. WEST ASHEVILLE • BUNGALOW Short walk to Haywood Road shops, pubs, etc. from 34 Tanglewood Drive and 5 minutes from downtown Asheville. Super clean, move-in ready! Available now! 2BR, 1BA w/Jacuzzi tub. Central heating and AC, hardwood floors, kitchen appliances, washer/dryer, fenced backyard, one car garage, and basement storage. House interior about 950 sqft. Nicely painted, window treatments, and lots of storage. • No pets/smoking. Proof of employment required. Minimum one year lease preferred. $925/month, first and security deposit. If interested, please phone (828)350-7975.

WEST • 2BR, 1BA. $500/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty. JUPITER/BARNARDSVILLE • 2BR, 1BA. Office, heat pump, new windows. $795/month. www.arcagencyasheville.com BEST TIME IS NOW!

*Best time to buy, pay less than rent, 1% rebate from Buyer Agent Commission, see BuncombeRealty.com, 301-2021 Visit us at BuncombeRealty.com

Vacation Rentals A BEACH HOUSE At Folly. The legendary dog-friendly Rosie’s Ocean View and Kudzu’s Cottage now booking now booking for oyster season! Call (828) 216-7908. www.kudzurose.com BEAUTIFUL LOG CABIN Sleeps 5, handicap accessible. Near Warren Wilson College, Asheville, NC. (828) 231-4504 or 277-1492. bennie14@bellsouth.net

Roommates

CAB DRIVERS Needed at Blue Bird; call JT 258-8331. Drivers needed at Yellow Cab; call Buster at 253-3311. FIND QUALITY EMPLOYEES FAST! We found more than a dozen highly qualified job applicants in less than a week with just a single classified ad in the Mountain Express. • Chris Dennen, PhD, President of Innovative Healing Inc. • Your business can quickly and affordably find the right employee. Call 251-1333, Mountain Xpress Marketplace! HIRE QUALITY EMPLOYEES “Our employment advertisements with the Mountain Xpress garner far more educated and qualified applicants than any other publication we have used. The difference is visible in the phone calls, applications and resumes.” Howard Stafford, Owner, Princess Anne Hotel. • Thank you, Howard. Your business can benefit by advertising for your next employee in Mountain Xpress Classifieds. Call 251-1333. VICTORIA’S ESCORT SERVICE is looking for pretty girls as providers of companionship. Girls with experience as Escorts preferred. Call 828-551-2727

Arden. Furnished room, beautiful/private setting. Organic garden. Chemicalfree household. Seeking responsible, clean roommate(s). No pets. $395/month, utilities included. No lease. (828) 687-2390.

Restaurant/ Food APOLLO FLAME • WAITSTAFF Full-time needed. Fast, friendly atmosphere. Apply in person between 2pm-4pm, 485 Hendersonville Road. 274-3582. MOUNTAIN X JAMS! As a growing business that relies on the face put forward by our employees, Mountain Xpress Classifieds is where we turn to find them. The volume of high-quality applicants replying to our ads can be hard to choose from, and it is always worth our investment. Thanks Mountain X! Rebecca and Charlie, owners, Tomato Jam Cafe.

BANALTRUM CAREGIVERS • CNA’s Needed: Experienced CNA’s for in-home care to start immediately. Call 251-0034 or visit office and fill out application. 33 Mineral Springs Road, Asheville, NC 28805.

Employment

ASHEVILLE HUMANE SOCIETY • Seeks Community Outreach Coordinator for special events and marketing/publicity. $26-30k. Visit www.ashevillehumane.org to learn application details.

Employment Opportunities • Call (828) 225-6122 or visit: biltmore.com

Sales/ Marketing SALES PROS • Time to get paid what you are worth AND have a life. Call 1-888-700-4916.

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF ASHEVILLE is seeking licensed therapists and QMHPs to provide mental health services to children, families and adults. Email csimpson@fpscorp.com

Help Others while

Helping Yourself

DONATE PLASMA, EARN COMPENSATION Plasma Biological Services (828) 252-9967 interstatebloodbank.com 60

DECEMBER 30, 2009 - JANUARY 5, 2010 •

INTENSIVE IN-HOME TEAM LEADER • Licensed Professional needed to perform functions in accordance with NC DHHS service criteria. email resume to: rnicolai @accessfamilyservices.com

• Now hiring Mobile Crisis Management Coordinator to provide crisis interventions in the community to all populations. Rotating on call. Now hiring in Buncombe, Henderson, Polk and Rutherford counties. Bachelors degree and related experience required. Email resume to humanresources@ familiestogether.net

mountainx.com

Professional/ Management EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Parttime. Western North Carolina Historical Association. • Application Deadline: February 5, 2010. Western North Carolina Historical Association (WNCHA) seeks a self-directed, organized professional for a part-time Executive Director (ED). The ED will be responsible for overseeing and coordinating fundraising for WNCHA and overseeing the day to day operation of the SmithMcDowell House Museum. • If interested please respond with a current resume and a cover letter indicating why you believe this is the right job for you, based on your experience, interest, and qualifications to: (mail) Smith McDowell House Museum, 283 Victoria Road, Asheville, NC 28801 Attn: Personnel Committee or (email) wnchistory@gmail.com • EOE.

Arts/Media SEEKING SENIOR WEBSITE DEVELOPER • Passion, integrity, and talent a must. Apply at: www.integritive.com/apply/

Medical/ Health Care

Human Services

General

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF HENDERSONVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA Has an immediate opening for a Clinical Supervisor. Candidate must have a Master’s degree in Social Work, Psychology, Counseling or related field and be fully licensed or fully licensed eligible in the state of North Carolina. Please forward resumes to wfhoward @fpscorp.com

• Now hiring a Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist to provide assessments for adults in the Henderson County Detention Center. FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. humanresources @familiestogether.net

FAMILIES TOGETHER • Now hiring a licensed professional to provide assessments to children and families and partner with Henderson and Transylvania stakeholders. Qualified candidates will include LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or Board Eligible Counselors. FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. www.humanresources @familiestogether.net • Now hiring a licensed professional to provide assessments to adults, linkage to services, and partner with Henderson County stakeholders. • Qualified candidates will include LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or Board Eligible Counselors. FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. humanresources @familiestogether.net Continued on next column

MAKE A DIFFERENCE NC Mentor is looking for foster parents in Buncombe, Henderson, Polk, Transylvania, and Rutherford counties. Be a hero in your community and open your home to a child in need. We provide training, 24 hour support, and a generous stipend. Please call Nicole at 828-696-2667 ext 14. Together we can make a difference in our community. Visit our web site at www.nc-mentor.com • Do you know someone who is interested in becoming a therapeutic foster parent? SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELOR/CASE MANAGER Needed to provide services to pregnant and postpartum women. Position requires Master’s Degree and working in the community. Send resume: Suzanne Boehm sboehm@drugfreenc.org or 35 Orange Street Asheville 28801.

NOW HIRING

Earn $65k, $50k, $40k GM, Co-Manager, Assistant Manager We currently have managers making this and need more for expansion. One year salaried restaurant management experience required. Fax resume to 336-431-0873

Teaching/ Education YMCA OF WESTERN NC • Afterschool Program Opportunities $7.25 $13/hour Please visit our web site for details: www.ymcawnc.org

Employment Services

2009 • DON’T JUST SURVIVE • Thrive! Snelling delivers results with staffing expertise that connects people and businesses with the power to thrive! www.snelling.com/ asheville/application HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, affordable & accredited. Free brochure. Call now! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97 continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN)

ECOTRIPS FOR SALE For innovative, green transportation system featuring electric vehicles for local shuttle service. Unique and established business model needs an imaginative entrepreneur who wants to expand this groundbreaking idea and can focus time and energy to its unlimited potential. Serious inquiries only. For more info go to www.ecotripsasheville.com or email to info@ecotripsasheville.com LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT BUSINESS IN DIFFICULT ECONOMIC TIMES? This opportunity is showing great growth. Low start up costs, serious money potential. Call 828-697-1919 or e-mail andream4@yahoo.com NATIONAL ENVIRONMENTAL COMPANY Cutting Edge Technologies. Alkaline Water / Indoor Air Quality. $6000/month plus part-time. Local training. (828) 989-6057.

Announcements ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Rick at 202-289-8484. (AAN CAN) ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Mountain Xpress Classifieds at (828) 251-1333. (AAN CAN) PREGNANT CONSIDERING ADOPTION? • Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide • Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 • Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions • 1-866-413-6293. (AAN CAN)

Lost & Found SUBARU CAR KEYS • Found on Coxe Ave. (close to Post Office) on 12/23/09. Please call 828-251-1333 ext. 138.

Classes & Workshops Business Opportunities BEST HOME-BASED BUSINESS EVER! It’s fun; it’s simple; it’s lucrative. To hear 3-minute message, call 1-866-257-3105, code 1. BIZ OP • Want to purchase minerals and other oil/gas interest. Send details to: PO Box 13557, Denver, CO 80201

RAPID TAX CLASSES Leading to potential seasonal income tax preparation and e-filing employment. LIBERTY TAX SERVICE with a new location at 180 Merrimon Ave, Asheville will be holding five 3 hour classes beginning 1/4/2010. To register call 828-505-2002 to register. gemkirk@cox.net


J^[M[bbd[ii?iik[ a special focus on health in hard times featuring editorial and commentary on: • stress management • wholesome diet • free and cheap care • low-cost drugs • fitness opportunities

printing January 20th for more information, contact advertise@mountainx.com or 251-1333 mountainx.com

• DECEMBER 30, 2009 - JANUARY 5, 2010

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GUITAR INSTRUCTION • Beginner to advanced guitar and bass lessons are available for $25/hour. Call Ian Harrod (828) 775-5363. SPECIALIZED SINGING LESSONS AND VOICE COACHING • In a real recording studio with separate vocal and control rooms. Offering audition, gig, showcase and tour prep. Learn endurance techniques and increase range. Gain studio experience and broaden vocal skills. All levels. Experienced teacher. $35/hour. Terry (828) 674-6417.

Equipment For Sale

Pets for Adoption Vehicles For Sale Autos

ABBY IS WAITING! Abby is a Schipperke mix who is searching for a loving home. For more info, contact Brother Wolf Animal Rescue at 8089435 or visit www.bwar.org FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE! Cats, dogs, & other small animals available for adoption at Asheville Humane Society • 72 Lee’s Creek Road • Asheville, NC • (828) 253-6807 www.ashevillehumane.org

Fender Jazz King $800 Like new Fender Jazz king amp. very powerful 15inch speaker250w. Comes with pedal, soft shell case, and casters. 317-417-0633 Adam.

by Brent Brown AAA & AARP DISCOUNT • Massage gift certificates available for the Holidays. Great rates. Professional office. Stress Busters Massage. LMT #7113. 828-275-5497.

Holistics

Bodywork **ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE MASSAGE-GIFT CERTIFICATES!** $35/hour. Perfect pressure! Caring, intuitive, professional therapist. Tranquil sanctuary just 3 blocks from Greenlife & downtown! Open Mon thru Sun. 9am to 8pm by appt. only. Brett Rodgers LMBT #7557. www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 255-4785.

#1 AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY CONSCIOUS MASSAGE CENTER Best rates in town! $29/hour. • 20 Wonderful Therapists to choose from. Therapeutic Massage: • Deep Tissue • Swedish • Sports • Trigger Point. Also offering: • Acupressure • Energy Work • Reflexology • Classes. Call now for your appointment: • 10 Biltmore Plaza, 505-7088. Asheville. thecosmicgroove.com

BEST MASSAGE IN ASHEVILLE Deep tissue, sports massage, Swedish, esalen. Available in/out. Jim Haggerty, LMBT# 7659. Call (828) 545-9700. www.jhmassage.com

SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town—or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; experience the invigorating cold plunge; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists. 299-0999. www.shojiretreats.com STAY RELAXED. Massage therapy at your home/office. 1/2 or 1-hour appointments.

Adopt a Friend • Save a Life HARLEY Male/Neutered Hound/Mix 1 year 7 months I.D. #5296596 THUMPER Female Domestic Shorthair/Mix 4 months I.D. # 9203462 HIP Female Terrier/Mix 2 years 6 months I.D. #9206248

HOLISTIC IRIDOLOGY® Fascinating Iris Analysis with digital imaging, BioChemistry Analysis, Cardiovascular Screening, and Meridian Kinesiology for ‘Total Health Assessment’. Safe, Effective Natural Therapies, Detoxification, • NEW: Vibrational Healing using Quantum Light Lasers! Call Jane Smolnik, ND, Iridologist at (828) 777-JANE (5263) or visit www.UltimateHealing.com

Call Sarah Whiteside, LMBT#4741, (828) 279-1050.

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Natural Alternatives

HAND DELIVERING GOOD WORK TO HOMEBODIES & BUSYBODIES IN ASHEVILLE I utilize aspects of several modalities and approaches to better facilitate relaxation, moving through energetic blocks, releasing pain and healing. Travis Jackson, LMBT #4393. 828-772-0719, eyes-of-the-worldmassage@hotmail.com

Spiritual A SPIRITUAL MENTOR Nina Anin. Wherever you are, by phone: (828) 253-7472 or email: asknina@excite.com ANCIENT VOICE

MASSAGE/MLD Therapeutic Massage. Manual Lymph Drainage. Lymphedema Treatment. $45/hour or sliding scale for financial hardship. 17+ years experience. 828-254-4110. NC License #146. www.uhealth.net

Musicians’ Xchange

sarahsgolf@charter.net

CONSULTING “Divining the Truly Essential” *Love*Money*Health*Relation ships*Business*The Spiritual. Call Lil’lei Well at 828-275-4931.

Musical Services

Valley Arts $1800 Beautiful sounding, gibson made guitar. Handmade in Nashville, flame maple body, sunset yellow, rosewood fretboard, birds eye maple. 317-417-0633 Adam.

AMR STUDIO Audio mastering, mixing and recording. • Musical, literary and instructional services. • Tunable performance room, on-site video available. Visa/MC. (828) 335-9316. www.amrmediastudio.com ASHEVILLE’S WHITEWATER RECORDING Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 • whitewaterrecording.com

MICKEY MOUSE • Grey/white male, 5 yr old, neutered. Green collar with tag. Microchipped. Has extra toes. Lost North Asheville/Spooks Branch. Well loved. Please help us bring Mickey home. Reward. 828-337-7661.

Therapeutic Massage & Holistic Services Ayurveda, Deep Tissue, Integrative, Spa Treatments

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(LMT 7219)

72 Lee’s Creek Rd, Asheville, NC 253-6807 • AshevilleHumane.org

121/2 Wall St. • Suite S

Buncombe County Friends For Animals, Inc.

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DECEMBER 30, 2009 - JANUARY 5, 2010 •

mountainx.com

WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE • Honda and Acura repair. Half price repair and service. ASE and factory certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

Electronics HELP HONEY HAVE HOME! Honey is a Terrier mix puppy who is searching for a loving home. For more info, contact Brother Wolf Animal Rescue at 808-9435 or visit www.bwar.org

2 Verizon internet phones. 1HTC VX6900 touch screen brand new and 1 samsung Omnia new touch sreen internet phones are ready to be connected email@amccrack@unca.edu

Furniture MATTRESSES Pillow-top: queen $250, king $350 • Extra firm: queen $175, king $275 • Full: $150 • Twin: $99. New, in plastic. 828-277-2500.

Lost Pets

LOST YOUR PET? FOUND A PET? Call Asheville Humane Society, (828) 253-6807, to fill out a missing or found pet report. Visit 72 Lee’s Creek Road, Asheville. www.ashevillehumane.org

Automotive Services

For Sale

Pet Xchange

A LOST OR FOUND PET? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: www.lostpetswnc.org

Nissan Altima 1998 New leather, sunroof, 1 owner, pwr win/doors green 178k miles $3750. 828-280-5159

HELP SCARLETT FIND HER HOME! Scarlett is a Shepherd mix puppy who is searching for a loving home. If you are interested in adopting , please call 808-9435 or for more information, visit www.bwar.org

Pet Services ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away. Reasonable rates. Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 258-0942 or 215-7232. DOG GIRL AT LARGE Dog training and behavior modification. All positive reinforcement. Sitting services for all creatures. Call Heather 404.788.2085 or doggrrly@yahoo.com

Firewood Seasoned Hardwood Heaping load, split and delivered $75, larger load available at reduced rate. Hendersonville/Arden area 828-216-0726 or 828-582-4487.

Adult Services

Adult Services A MAN’S DESIRE • Holiday stress? • Start the New Year right with us! • MondaySaturday, 9am-9pm. • Incall/outcall. (Lic#0800020912). • Call (828) 9897353. A PERSONAL TOUCH Asheville. • Ask about our Hot Holiday Specials! Incall/outcall: 713-9901.

LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE! End cruel and dangerous constant chaining of dogs in NC! Lobby your state reps to reintroduce legislation addressing dog chaining. For information, contacts and downloads, visit www.crittersong.org

A WOMAN’S TOUCH “We’re all about you!” Ask us about our “Autumn Special”. • Call 275-6291. MEET SEXY SINGLES by phone instantly! Call (828) 239-0006. Use ad code 8282. 18+


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56 Chaney of the silents

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32 Crooner canned on live TV in 1953

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45 Church keys

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2

66 River of Lyon

6 Inside of a toy mouse, perhaps

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S H A R H I R E H A M M L A Y P E G C A N I S H A C C H A R A B B O M O O S P Y D T E T E R O R E Y

65 Talks lovingly

1

51 Spreader of dirt

49 Ergo

58 Needing a bath badly

50 Be of use to

59 Seemingly forever

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information. Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

1 Battle Square, Asheville, NC 28801 (just north of Grove Arcade)

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• DECEMBER 30, 2009 - JANUARY 5, 2010

63


Mountain Xpress, December 30 2009  

Independent news, arts, events and information for Asheville and Western North Carolina

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