Motley Magazine October edition

october 2011 - issue no. 2 ucc official magazine

H e r o o r Vi l l i a n ?

We t a l k t o M a r t i n M c G u i n n e s s a b o u t his life and the upcoming election

Getting Hired A d v i c e f r o m t h e p r o s’ o n g e t t i n g a j o b a f t e r c o l l e g e

Masquerading in fashion The fashion section gets arty 1

A note from the editor While many of you were travelling to interesting places and seeing many new and cool things, I spent the summer on my couch with a badly broken leg. I managed to have possibly the all-time most banal cause of an injury that required 4 hours surgery, 12 pins and a metal plate. While playing 5 a-side soccer with the lowest skill level possible, I slipped with one leg and fell over hearing a massive crack from the one left standing. Besides being in more pain than being at a Katherine Lynch performance, the fact that my foot was pointing to the left while the rest of my leg was flat to the ground led me to believe there was something wrong.

Not being able to walk or pretty much do anything for yourself allows you to reflect a lot about life and also become an expert on various TV shows (Law and Order was my particular poison). I managed to concoct various notions and idea’s, including how after all my Law and Order maybe I should give the New York bar exam a shot. I got a small taste of what it is like to be disabled and I must say it is tough mentally not being able to travel where you want or do things like cooking for yourself. As they say, you don’t miss something till it’s gone and that certainly applies to your independence.

Almost three months later I am nearly without my crutches, walking with a limp and with a few mobility prob lems.

While reflecting on my situation I started to liken it to where Ireland is at the moment; we still have to get the bus into town as we can’t walk that far, but we are slowly getting back on our feet. We are seeing the seeds of growth that are shown by increasing tax figures and a slight increase in positivity around the place. Sometime soon I won’t need my irritating crutch and Ireland won’t need the IMF. If the white Obama (Sean Gallagher to me and you) gets the presidency, apparently all our worries are over with his promise of jobs fairs to commemorate 1916 and what not. If the Irish soccer team gets into the Euro’s then I think it’s a sign that surely we can get out of a recession, If they don’t take it as a sign and move to Australia, but above all enjoy this issue!

The Team

Kevin Curran

Kevin Curran

Editor editor@motley.ie

Abigail Russell

Design

Jerry Larkin Luke Dineen

currentaffairs@motley.ie Deputy Current Affairs

John Murphy Mary Egan

entertainments@motley.ie Deputy entertainments

Cathal Brennan Athos tSiopani

features@motley.ie Deputy features

Sarah Commane Aisling Fitzpatrick

Fashion fashion@motley.ie Deputy Fashion

Julia Healy

Photo editor

Eoghan Healy

Advertising comms@uccsu.ie

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Contents

Image: Julia Healy

On the Cover Fashion Photo shoot Kevin Curran talks to presidential candidate Martin McGuinness Cathal Brennan finds out how to get a job, apparently it’s that easy!

Current Affairs Jerry Larkin talks about the joke that is Jobridge

Entertainments The Ambience Affair discuss their recent successes Keavy O Sullivan talks all matters of a sequel nature

Features We find out the second part to Gavin Frahill-Lynchs sea adventure

Fashion Sarah Commane takes a look at some local styles

*Editors Correction: Photos in last issues Fashion section by Emmet Curtin

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Current Affairs

J

obBridge

The national internship scheme was launched early in the summer, to great fanfare from Joan Burton, the Minister for Social Protection, whose department the scheme falls under. The scheme allows unemployed people on the live register to apply for a six or nine months internship with a company - gaining experience in their chosen field, and thereby improving their employment prospects. The internee in return receives an extra €50 a week, on top of their unemployment benefit. On paper, it sounds like a win-win situation for the unemployed and the employer. The unemployed person retains his dignity by working, and the employer gets a worker free of charge. However, as with many other Government schemes designed to reduce employment, the reality of the situation is very different.

Internships have grown in popularity in this country since the onset of the recession, reflecting the increased bargaining power of employers due to high unemployment. Internships were always common in certain sections of the economy, particularly in the media and the arts. However, the scope of internships has increased greatly and they are now common in most areas of the labour force.

This new reality is reflected in the makeup of JobBridge, with the employers allied to the scheme being as diverse as Dawn Foods, ESB and Aer Lingus. A website has been set up which allows employers to display the internship positions available within the company. A major talking point of the scheme is the ease in which a company can display positions which appear not to qualify under the conditions of JobBridge.

A critical problem in discovering the eligibility of an internship under JobBridge is the vague criteria which is outlined on the website. It simply states: “The internship will not be provided to displace an employee. The scheme administrator reserves the right to review cases where it is reported that this is the case.” Another condition of the scheme states that if a company employs more than 30 people, it can take on up to 20% of their workforce through internships (to a maximum of 200). This appears to be a huge number

– Opportunity or exploitation ? of interns, which benefits the largest companies - such as Tesco.

Tesco appears to be have the highest number of JobBridge interns, and was looking for 145 “interns” across 17 stores for the busy Christmas period. The job description was “filling shelves according to merchandising plans and ensuring that customers do not have to queue”.

Skills gained include “rotation of stock, customer service skills, management of waste and damages, merchandising to plans routines”. Therefore, instead of creating jobs, it appears that JobBridge is providing free labour to multinational companies, at the expense of tax-payers.

There is also the question of fairness – should anyone be working in what appears to be a proper, full-time job for effectively €1.25 an hour (14% of the minumum wage) ? This is not to mention the fact that Tesco recorded a £3.54bn profit for 2010, and its Irish operation is its most profitable in the world. Tesco is not the only culprit in the grocery sector (though it appears to be the most flagrant), with Super Valu also looking for shop floor assistant “interns”. However, Tesco denies that it is abusing the scheme These internships are not designed to fill any job gaps in our workforce. Instead, candidates will experience every aspect of work in a fast moving modern and innovative retail environment. This will include customer service, merchandising and vital back office support roles.

Candidates will also be offered the opportunity to apply for any new permanent positions should they arise.

The level of unhappiness with the scheme is growing, with a blog being set up for

It appears that all a company has to do to take advantage of the free labour available under JobBridge is add “Assistant” to the job title.

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Jerry Larkin

people to submit JobBridge internships which appear to be full-time payed jobs in all but name (http://jobbridgetonowhere. tumblr.com/). Upon reading the many abuses of the scheme, it becomes clear that JobBridge is deeply flawed. A company advertised three positions for Horticulture Assistant, Baker and Chef – all of which appear to be worthy of at least the minimum wage. However, the identity of this company remains anonymous so their reputation remains unaffected.

Another internship advertises the position of Website/Webshop & Social Media Developer. However, this position is not in a company that even designs website, but

There is a lot to be said for the benefit of a job to the confidence of someone who has been unemployed, but JobBridge appears to be more to the firms benefit.

is advertising for someone to develop a website for a shop. In this case, JobBridge allows a company to get a free website, and save the money it would have spent on an actual web designer.

Other “internship” positions advertised on the JobBridge website include cleverly-hidden jobs such as Assistant Psychologist, Warehouse Operator, Marketing Executive, Waiting Staff, GreenKeeping Assistant and lots and lots of Shop Assistants. It appears that all a company has to do to take advantage of the free labour available under JobBridge is add “Assistant” to the job title. There is a lot to be said for the benefit of a job to the confidence of someone who has been unemployed, but JobBridge appears to be disproportionally benefiting profitable businesses. The claim from Sinn Fein that Minister Burton is beginning to resemble Margeret Thatcher in her policies appears overly harsh, but the question remains – is JobBridge a worthy scheme merely experiencing teething problems, or an inherently unfair idea which takes advantage of the most vunerable?

Presidential Prestige?

Luke Dineen wonders what the President actually does and questions its relevance The quest to elect a new president is proving to be an enthralling, if not pointless piece of political theatre. With the recent re-emergence of David Norris and entrance of Martin McGuinness and Dana, the number of candidates has swelled to seven, the largest ever for a presidential contest. Over the course of this month, we will be told by each of their parties and campaign teams about how important the role of the presidency is and how vital it is to fill that office with somebody of outstanding talents and capabilities.

Funnily enough however, these same people have done nothing at all over the years to make the role of president a truly meaningful one where these outstanding talents and capabilities could be expressed, despite the fact that constitutional provisions to do with it have been regularly been identified as problematic.

As everyone knows, the president has only two powers under the Constitution, and there are problems with both these, problems we have known about for decades, problems that have been ignored for decades.

The first has to do with the power the president has to refer Bills to the Supreme Court before signing them into law, to test the constitutionality of those Bills (article 26). In February 1982 the Supreme Court clearly identified problems with this, when a Bill to do with private rented dwelling was referred to it by the then president, Patrick Hillery. Coincidentally the chief justice at the time had been a presidential candidate twice, Tom O’Higgins, and it was he who delivered the judgment of the court, which identified serious problems with this article 26 reference business.

One problem was that even when the Supreme Court found one section of a Bill unconstitutional, there could be no presumption that the rest of the Bill was okay. He said: “The authors of a Bill may therefore find the court’s decision less illuminating than they would wish it to be.”

zarre the consequences turn out to be. There is a further difficulty that when a lengthy, complex Bill is referred to the court under article 26, the court is expected to go through every section and subsection of the Bill, to determine whether any of it is unconstitutional, which is a mammoth and, in practice, unmanageable task. Given all this, there is a strong case for arguing that the president should never refer a Bill to the Supreme Court.

The other independent power a president has is to refuse to dissolve the Dáil on the advice of a Taoiseach who has lost the confidence of a majority of the Dáil. The problem with this is: how is a president to know when a Taoiseach has lost the confidence of the Dáil? Unless of course, the Dáil passes a clear vote of no confidence on the Taoiseach, but this rarely happens. In January 1982, Garret FitzGerald’s government was defeated in a vote on a budgetary provision, which is interpreted as a vote of no confidence in the govern-

In relation to the only two independent powers a president has, one of them is such a mess that it should never be exercised, and with regard to the other, it is not even clear what the power actually is. ment, but is it? It certainly isn’t constitutionally speaking.

If politically it is obvious that a Taoiseach has lost the confidence of a majority of the Dáil, as happened with Albert Reynolds in November 1994, but no vote of no confidence has been passed by the Dáil, what then? Had Albert Reynolds gone to the president and advised her to dissolve the Dáil before a vote of no confidence was passed, would the president have been obliged to heed that advice? We all know in 1994 there was a problem constitutionally about this but, again, nothing was done to sort it out.

So, in relation to the only two independent powers a president has, one of them is such a mess that it should never be exercised, and with regard to the other, it is not even clear what the power actually is. There are other absurdities too.

For instance, it is not entirely unlikely that this time around or sometime soon a president-elect might be an atheist. Yet the Constitution requires a president-elect to swear by Almighty God to maintain the Constitution. What if the president-elect does not want to swear by Almighty God? There is the issue of the president’s freedom of speech. Arguably, unlike everyone else in the country, the president, who the Constitution says “shall take precedence over all other persons in the State”, does not enjoy freedom of speech because the president has to act (and speak) on all matters, except on the two issues referred to above, only on the advice of the government. Furthermore, alone of all citizens, the president must obtain the permission of the government to leave the State (this was refused in 1991 when Charlie Haughey’s government refused Mary Robinson permission to go to London, where she was to deliver a lecture on the BBC).

We have known for decades that the mechanism for people becoming presidential candidates is absurd.

Over 10 years ago an Oireachtas committee proposed that the mechanism be changed to include a provision whereby 10,000 electors could nominate a candidate, but once again, nothing done. The presidential election of 2011 will undoubtedly prove to be a fascinating contest. If only the candidates standing could tell us what the president actually does, it would be much more credible for us to actually to vote for any of them.

Another problem was that in deciding on the constitutionality of a Bill, the Supreme Court had to deal with the Bill in the abstract, not knowing in concrete terms what social, economic, fiscal or other consequences the Bill might have. The problem with this is that once the Supreme Court finds a Bill to be constitutional under article 26, it can never again be challenged constitutionally, no matter how bi-

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Wishing to be the “Peoples President”

Kevin Curran

After witnessing Martin McGuinness speak to a packed room of 450 people at his cork rally, I got the chance to sit down and find out more about undoubtedly one of the most controversial presidential candidates in Irish history.

So in your role as president how will you incorpo- Sinn Fein boycotted the Queens visit to Ireland rate this desire for a 32 county republic? because they felt there was some unresolved issues in relation to the troubles and they didn’t A key stepping stone in all of that is to develop an want to paper over the cracks, what would you say to people that would say the same thing The most important thing I see is getting all island economy and it is quite interesting that now most of the economists on the island, about Martin McGuinness as president, that is the economy back on track. Get jobs it is too soon? for our young people and I think I have indeed some of them of the unionist persuasion, have absolutely signed up to the idea of developa track record of doing that. We got ing an all island economy. A very senior executive Sinn Fein is a political party and I am running in 15,000 foreign direct investment jobs this election independently, if I am elected as in the north in the last two years; Peter said to me at a meeting Peter Robinson and I attended when we were arguing for FDI (Foreign President I will be resigning my position in Sinn Robinson and I. I think I can use those Fein as I couldn’t be president and associated skills and the access I have in the United Direct Investment) for the North, he made a very with a political party. I would also make it absoStates. People are in economic distress powerful point, he said “I look at a population of 1.6 million people and I don’t get excited then lutely clear that I would resign my Westminster and that must be a key priority and I seat, my MLA seat and no longer be Deputy want to work with Enda Kenny and the I look at a place where there is 6 million people and I get really excited”, I think it is crucial First Minister and my full responsibility would government. We need to ensure that to develop an all island economy. As the longest be to the people here. In terms of the position we are putting our best foot forward Sinn Fein took up, if you look for example in the serving minister on the North-South ministerial and try to pull ourselves out of the Derry area where 14 people were murdered by grave economic difficulties we are in at council I have seen the decisions we have taken British Troops and their families are still alive. such as the new road from Donegal through this time.

Monaghan to Derry City. Also the building People feel charges should be pressed against the of the new radiotherapy unit at Antrim general commander that made those orders. Sinn Fein has I have also made it clear that if I was hospital, so patients from county Donegal can get to very conscious of the people that vote for elected president, in 2012 I would work towards the objective of national quick access to care and creates cross border ties. them. If I was elected I would have a duty to All these things tackle inequality across the nation represent all the people of Ireland, I would have reconciliation. There’s huge work to and at the same time bring us closer together. no difficulty in meeting with Queen Elizabeth. be done in that area between the two I think though that it was clearly a big occasion communities in Ireland. I’ll give you an when she met with President McAleese, I think it example; Peter Robinson and I decided Breaking down barriers?

Yes we have begun the work of breaking down might be an even a bigger occasion if she meets some time ago that we would build the barriers but I think we should be focusing on with President McGuinness! an iconic peace building and conflict transformation centre on the site of the breaking down the barriers that encourages trade, You spoke in several interviews about how Sinn old Maze Prison. We have applied to the investment, jobs and getting the economy going all over the island.

Fein approached you to run for president and EU for funding and are almost certain how you had to think hard about, was that the we will get between 18 and 20 million first time you thought about running? euros to build on the site effectively where the hunger strikers died. That is Yes it was, there was a debate about because there is a lot of interest around whether Sinn Fein would put forward a canthe world in how we solved our conflict didate in the elections at all; it didn’t seem and people are anxious for us to go them possible for a long time. It’s fair to say many and them to us so I think that would months ago there was great debate and divided also be a very important project. You opinions about that topic and then it appeared also have to bear in mind that I am an that there was momentum building behind the Irish Republican and I want to be presiconcept of doing it. I was then approached by dent of the 32 counties of Ireland and senior people within the party, I didn’t jump at I want to see Ireland reunited through it right away, in fact I was in the US with Peter peaceful and democratic means. That Robinson on a trade mission when I felt I could being said I will try to use my influence do it justice. I made my decision in the presence to achieve that in a sensitive and digniof Gerry Adams and Peter Robinson. With the fied way. support of 4 independent TD’s, which I was very grateful for, I got on the ballot paper.

If we were sitting here 7 years from now, what would you have hoped to have achieved as president?

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You have spoken about representing Northern Ireland on a world stage, what relationships do you think we need to strengthen or build internationally?

I think that President McAleese has done an extraordinary and magnificent job on behalf of the country but I think a president needs to be utilized all over the world to gain investment for the country. The US is the most important in this, I was delighted when I heard that President Clinton has undertaken the responsibility to try and get US corporations and multinationals who have not previously invested in Ireland to come here. If anybody has a special relationship with the Clintons it’s me. Peter Robinson and I were at a very important economic conference at the state department hosted by Hillary Clinton and President Obama so I think utilizing the contacts I have not just in America but all over the world.

What advice would you say to the all young people in the dole queue at this time?

I would tell them not to give up and to believe in themselves. I have always had a great self-belief in my own ability to do things and they should have the same belief. During the peace process when people said the British government would not talk to Sinn Fein, I said the day will come that they will and when that came they said that nothing would come of it, and then we got the Good Friday agreement, then they said we’d never get it implemented and we got that too and then they said the DUP and Ian Paisley would never go into government with Sinn Fein and that came too so you have to have a belief that you can achieve anything. I also think that the government have a mighty responsibility to focus in on the needs of young people.

Ireland has been betrayed by the bankers, What would being President in 2016 mean the speculators and indeed the politito you? cians who pay themselves huge salaries and huge pensions against the backdrop of It would be massive. As a 32 county Repub- huge emigration and unemployment. lican it would be huge. First we need to face facts and the truth that the proclamation of Would you have done anything differently 1916 has not been made reality. The chilin relation to the bank guarantee bill? dren of this nation have not been treated equally. A lot of the nation’s children are Well the president has very limited powers suffering terribly because of the economic in relation to money bills but the facildownturn that has occurred. It would be ity to meet with the Taoiseach allows the president to have conversations about great to be president at that time, I would also be wary of the fact that some people issues that clearly are of great annoyance may try to use it to destabilise the strides and causing great anger among the people we have made towards peace. I think we of Ireland. The amount of money that has must also be aware of other commemora- effectively been poured down the drain into tions at that time, such as the battle of the the banks against the backdrop of great Somme which are very significant to union- austerity has created great anger out there. ists. We all need to work to ensure that all these pass over with dignity.

It’s pretty obvious that a lot of young people and students are suffering at the moment, what do you think you can do to help their situations as president?

McGuinness talks to the crowd after the rally.

(An aide comes over and gives me the spinning finger wrap it up signal so I jump to my last question) As my last question I think I should ask something important to the people of Cork…possibly the most important question to people here: who do you think was right back in 2002 in the World Cup, Roy Keane or Mick McCarthy?

(The room erupts into laughter as I finish the question, with a smile McGuinness shifts his seat forward and gives a very serious answer…)

Well if I was selected to play for Ireland I would play for Ireland under any conditions, at the same time I have great admiration for Roy Keane as a player and person. I’ve been a Man U supporter since I was 8 years old. Keano was a magnificent player for Notts Forrest, Manchester United and Cobh Ramblers for that matter so I can’t complain about him too much!

You’re a Mick man so?

Well we're all human beings and we all have our frailties and that must have been a difficult time for Mick and Roy. Roy was obviously dissatisfied with the way things were run and that’s fair enough, they both have done a terrific job for Ireland so I can’t really slam either of them!

I think you have to make it clear and I have made it clear that I will be a president that will speak out on issues that cause concern to people across Ireland. That is what a president is supposed to do.

Mary McAleese’s biggest progress was building bridges with the unionist community. I worked very closely with her and Martin on that project. Look at the results in terms of building relationships with the unionist community. My focus would be on the whole issue of jobs and the economy because I understand that that is where people are hurting most at this time.

All photos by Julia Healy (c)

With that McGuinness was whipped away by his aides to another a commitment, I got the impression if he was allowed he would have spoken for hours but he was off for more shaking hands and kissing babies!

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Slavery

a 21st

century problem

Jerry Larkin At the beginning of last month, there was shock in the media when an apparant slavery operation was uncovered in the Green Acres caravan site in Bedfordshire, England. The news was of particular interest to people in this country due to the fact that those held by police for the shocking offense were British-born travellers, with strong Irish connections.

A total of 24 alleged victims were held against their will, forced to tarmac roads and engage in other forms of hard labour.

The police are not sure how long this ring has been going on for, but Bedfordshire’s Leighton-Linslade homeless charity claimed it has been taking in alleged slaves from the Green Acres site since 2007, and one victim has claimed to be held for 15 years. 9 out of the 24 alleged victims have declined to press charges, perhaps as a result of Stockholm Syndrome – a condition where hostages develop an irrational affinity towards their captors.

The case is all the more shocking considering the deprived conditions in which many travellers have been living in Britain and Ireland in the past, with that situation apparantly being completely reversed in an unprecendented manner.

Those responsible have been charged under Section 71 of the Coroners and Justice Act 2009. This law had been passed last year because although slavery had been outlawed in the 19th century, there was no single offence that covered the crime. The fact that this law might be needed in the 21st century will alarm many.

By all accounts, the Green acres case is not an isolated incident – though it was given added prominence due to the involvement of British nationals. The truth is that slavery is widespread in the world today in many dimensions, both overtly and through more inconspicuous forms. A major form of slavery in the Western world

today is human trafficking, where people from poorer countries are smuggled into developed countries, with the promise of legitimate work opportunities. What inevitably occurs is that these people are forced to engage in unpaid labour or prostitution, under duress. Human trafficking has been identified as the fastest growing criminal industry in the world and it is second only to drug trafficking as the most profitable illegal industry in the world.

According to The UK Human Trafficking Centre (UKHTC), there were 1480 alleged incidents of human trafficking in the UK between 2009 and 2011, with the largest number of alleged victims coming from Nigeria (262 cases) and the majority being female (72%).

A typical case study from the UKHTC outlines the shocking nature of the crime a 23 year old woman was brought to the UK five years ago from Nigeria on the promise of legitimate work. When she arrived the people who trafficked her forced her to work for them as a prostitute for over four months. She did not get paid because her exploiters claimed she owed them £30,000 to cover her travelling and living costs.

After months of abuse the victim managed to escape because she knew someone who could help her with food and a place to stay. The traffickers responded to her escape by threatening the victim’s family in Nigeria, telling them that if she didn’t return to work they would be harmed.

The family moved to another city, but the traffickers tracked them down and shot and killed her father.

However, the problem also hits much closer to home with the Migrant Rights Centre of Ireland (MRCI) dealing with 150 cases of forced labour in the past 5 years. While an average of 30 cases a year may seem like

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a comparatively minor problem, the MRCI claim that this is only the tip of the iceberg.

Victims are likely not to speak English, with no relatives or contacts in the country – which makes it extremely difficult to get out of their situation. An added obstacle is that those responsable for the trafficking will often take the passport of the victim and threaten them with deportation if they leave – ensuring that they can’t flee.

While there are certainly cases of sexual trafficking, a great number of victims come from «respectable» areas of the economy, such as the catering industry and horticulture. An added difficulty with dealing with human trafficking in Ireland is that, unlike the UK, there is no specific law dealing with slavery in Ireland, making it easier for those responsable to get away with their crimes.

However, slavery is not exclusive to the developed world, with the United Nations estimating that 12.3 million people are in forced labour throughout the world. While the caste system has technically been outlawed in India, the remnants of this discrimination are apparant in modernday society in that country. The Dalits in India were discriminated against under the caste system, and today they are the major victims of slavery in India. These victims are trapped in debt bondage, where they are forced to pay off a debt in conditions out of their control – sometimes for their whole lives, or even passing on these debts to their children. Even in some parts of Africa – the continent which has suffered immeasurably from slavery in the past – people are born into slavery (mainly in Niger and Mauritania). While we in the enlightened West, may wish to believe that slavery was a colonial problem which has been assigned to history, the truth is far more shady and shows the natural thirst for humanity to control and conquer countries, cultures and even people.

E=mc ?

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When someone mentions physics, the words ‘groundbreaking’ and ‘exciting’ are not the first to spring to mind.

But something very unusual has just been discovered high up in the Italian Mountains. For the past hundred years, Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity has been at the foundation of modern physics. If verified by the scientific community, it basically means that nothing in the universe can travel faster than the speed of light. But last month, the Italian team at CERN apparently broke this record. However, it would be presumptious to throw away the physics textbook – for now.

scientific break-through.

Because these neutrinos are capable of travelling faster than light, it implies that signals could be sent back in time

has said “When an experiment finds an apparently unbelievable result and can find no artefact of the measurement to account for it, it is normal practice to invite broader scrutiny.”

Their findings will only be proved correct if other institutions can perform the test and get the same result. Only 2 other facilities in the world have the equipment capable of carrying out these experiments.

Fermilab, a similar giant accelerator in America found neutrinos to be constant with the speed of light in 2007 - but those neutrinos were not hyper charged like the ones at CERN. Some scientists believe there was an error in the machinery that calculated the neutrino arrival time, or a problem with the calculation method.

CERN, the home of the Large Hadron Collider and the world’s largest physics lab, fired super charged neutrinos to the Gran Sasso facility 450 miles away.

These neutrinos broke the speed of light by 60 nanoseconds. According to Einstein, this should have been impossible. While a number as small as 60 nanoseconds can seem insignificant, in reality it equates to a speed difference of 12,000mph.

So what are neutrinos and why does all of this really matter? Neutrinos are like electrons, but they have no charge and have almost zero mass. Because of this they can travel through matter without being absorbed into it. Essentially they behave as if the earth didn’t exist. So if they can travel faster than the speed of light it means the laws of cause and effect are changed. So suddenly the possibility of time travel and another dimension becomes less and less like a comic book, and more like a plausible

Heather Steele

(no problems handing in that late essay then!). Therefore, if it is confirmed it will be the most groundbreaking discovery in physics of the past one hundred years. However, only forward time travel would be theoretically possible. Going backwards in time is the problem, as you can’t erase the past (even those dodgy nights out in Gorby’s).

After six months of crosschecking for mistakes, CERN still believe their figures are correct.

They are suspicious of their findings but cautiously optimistic and have put it to the scientific community to independently check their data for mistakes. CERN’s research director Sergio Bertolucci

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UCC’s physics lecturer and senior researcher Dr Thomas Busch says the finding is “More an extension, than a revolution” of physics. Einstein’s theory of relativity wouldn’t be necessary obsolete but it would probably need to be adapted to fit the new data.

When Einstein wrote about gravity, he solved the mystery of how gravity works – a vital component, which was missing from Newton’s law. Despite this, Newton’s law still held true. Therefore we can assume that Einstein’s law would still be true on this occasion also.

E=mc 2 is probably the only equation the entire world knows – despite the fact that not many people actually understand it. Even Mariah Carey named an album after it and I don’t think it’s unfair to reason that she’s no genius.

It’s exciting to think even after hundreds of years, when we think we know most of the universe’s secrets that science can go and change the game on us again. While we wait for the theory to be further understood, we can imagine the possibility of a future with holes in the universe that might allow us to travel forward in time. And maybe take a sneaky peek at the euro millions numbers.

Image credits science.howstuffworks.com and nortenyo.deviantart.com

Current Affairs - Opinion

The Day Innocence Died

Ten years on, Luke Dineen explains how September 11th has changed the world for the worse

A little over 10 years and one month ago, New York City became the scene of the obscene. The epicentre of an assault on innocence and human decency by the reactionary forces of medieval minded obscurantists. On September 11th 2001, the United States was attacked and nearly 3,000 of its citizens killed. Historians of the future will undoubtedly view 9/11 as this generation’s 1989, because like the collapse of communism before it, 9/11 ushered in a new world order. A more violent, more paranoid and less tolerant world where the United States was once again all too willing to exercise its hegemony, and flex its military might in the name of protecting its ‘national interests’.

For a start, 9/11 provided the pretext for the right-wing, neoconservative Bush Administration to rampage across the world with an arrogance and aggression not seen since bloodbath In Vietnam. Afghanistan, a country with a long history of resisting foreign invasions, was attacked and occupied within a matter of weeks of the Twin Towers’ demise. Like the Cold War before, the language of moral righteousness was once again evoked as the US now had an excuse to police the world and assert its dominance as it saw fit.

of the state, as manifested in the grotesque edifice that is Guantanamo Bay. While the post 9/11 world is a new and unprecedented phenomenon, the culture of fear, suspicion and paranoia is anything but. It is reminiscent of the anti-communist hysteria that engulfed the West in the aftermath of World War II, at the beginning of the Cold War. This ‘black and white, good and evil’ world view that has emerged was crystallised in former US President George W Bush’s famous Manichaean demand that ‘‘either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists’’.

In similar fashion to the anti-communist policies of the past, some of the most hideous regimes in the Arab world have

Iraq was to be the next victim of this American dominated new world order, and the oil rich country was savagely attacked and occupied in March 2003, in total defiance of opposition from most of Europe, the United Nations and indeed the world public at large.

The reasons for its occupation (that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction) were complete falsehoods, but costly falsehoods, as it is estimated that well over half a million innocent Iraqis are now dead, far more than the number that died on 9/11.

The hysteria surrounding Islamic extremism and the ‘war on terror’ has not just had a malign effect on the way Western governments treat the people of other countries, but also how they treat their own citizens. The civil liberties that were been brought about by (literally) centuries of struggle have been under constant attack in the name ‘national security’.

Strangely enough, exactly the same civil liberties we are constantly being told the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are being waged to protect. The rights and dignity of the individual are now subservient to the authority

fear of consequences or repercussion.

Moreover, 9/11 has had the effect of infusing a new and very dangerous virus into the bodypolitik of Western political discourse, islamophobia. Anti-western sentiment has long been a feature of the Arabic world, mainly out of resentment towards the duplicitous nature of our foreign policy. The electoral gains that far right, neo-fascist parties have made across Europe over the last 10 years have been both considerable and disturbing. Islamophobia is also displaying itself in a more nuanced and ‘acceptable’ political manifestation.

Parliamentary discussions around banning the hijab, niqab and burqa have become commonplace in Europe, but what would be said of a European parliamentarian who suggested that the religious garments and practices of Orthodox Jews had to be curtailed in the name of national security and social homogeneity? Would any comments other than ‘bigoted’ and ‘anti-Semitic’ be levelled against him? Clemency and social inclusion have been unfortunate victims of that terrible day. The age of paranoia that had 9/11 unleashed has once again polarised western collective mentality, where suspicion of ‘the enemy’ is now, sadly all too prevalent.

Most notably and egregiously however, the post 9/11 world is one where Islamic extremism has been proliferated to such a point that the West, in its attempt to destroy Bin Ladenism, has created thousands of Bin Laden.

The invasions and occupations have only served to create a type ‘siege mentality’ in the Muslim world, not seen since Pope Urban II launched the Crusades in 1095 (George Bush incidentally used the term ‘crusade’ to describe the war on terror). The bombings of Bali, Istanbul, Madrid and London have all been the result of this new world, the post 9/11 world.

obtained Western sympathy and support for the (often violent) way in which they suppress their people, be they Islamic extremist or not. This merely illustrates a shameful reality; states that fail to defer to the interests of the world’s lead powers are in danger of military intervention on some feeble pretext or another. Those states that do defer can feel free to deny their citizens the most basic of human rights, without

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It has been 10 years and one month since that terrible day. It was a monstrous, momentous event that will forever be ingrained in our collective memory. The world it echoed in is a profoundly different place. It is one characterised by renewed American hegemony, aggression, suspicion, fear, ignorance and jingoistic nationalism.

September 11th, 2001 represented a nadir in human depravity and barbarity, but upon reflection, the response to it hasn’t been much better.

The Church in Ireland: Sinking ship or time for a reformation?

By David Cowpar

We all are painfully aware of the situation of the Roman Catholic Church in Ireland today. For a while about a year ago we were hearing of an abuse case nearly every week. There has been report after report made assessing the situation in the Churches and local diocese, with the most recent one, the Cloyne report, coming from the very diocese in which you now sit (assuming you have not gone home for the weekend). As well as these reports and cases we have seen what appears to be a fight between our Taoiseach and the Pope regarding the information found within the Cloyne report. It has been said that these factors are resulting in the death of the Catholic Church in Ireland.

Is this the case?

In many areas of Irish life the Church seems to be taking less of a prominent role and the abuses we keep hearing about have turned the public opinion of the Irish people, who once believed that to be Irish was to be Catholic, against the Church. It is interesting to draw some parallels between the Church in Ireland now and the Church of 1500, as well as looking at how some other Churches are surviving steadily in this climate of Church-scepticism. If you think of the Church in the time of Martin Luther, it was ridden with abuses, as the Church now is. These were times when clergy took money and allowed people to buy their way into Heaven, or bought their own positions in the Church. We never hear of sexual abuse against children from back then but we do know it was going on in some form. In the same way as then, abuse has been rife in the Catholic Church in Ireland in the modern era.

The reaction to abuses in the church in the past was reformation (by which I do not mean The Reformation - just a reforming of how the Church ran).

It appears that it is time for that type of reformation in the Catholic Church in Ireland again. The Church has consistently been inward looking - it has its leader in Rome, not in Ireland, and

has its own set of rules about dealing with issues arising. The same was true in Luther’s time, and when someone among the clergy committed a crime, they were tried by the Church and the Church only. This mentality is outdated and the Church needs to recognise that it is responsible to the state it is situated in and not just liable to the Pope in Rome.

A possible solution for the Catholic Church would be taking a leaf out of the Orthodox Church’s organisational book.

In this Church each country (with the exception of some ex-Communist block countries) has a patriarch who runs the Church in his area. This system seems a more suitable one for the survival, and accountability, of the Church in Ireland.

As well as reforms in the structures of the Church in Ireland - and globally - the Church needs to accept the massive weight of responsibility for its mistakes.

This was one of the faults in the Church that led to Martin Luther breaking away and starting Protestantism, and similarly it appears the Church is repeating its own mistakes by not accepting responsibility again. If we look at the Church situation over the past number of years we can see this repeating itself. Many new Churches, from other denominations, are opening up to take in Catholics (and foreign nationals) who no longer feel they can be a part of the Catholic Church but still love Jesus, His word and His people. A number of smaller Churches have multiplied massively as people turn away from the tradition, and corruption, of the Catholic Church to Churches that seem to display a real love of Jesus and other people. We see in Cork Churches that have a vibrant, living, and young community. From that we can conclude it is not necessarily Christianity that is in danger of extinction in this country but only an over-bearing Church that people no longer regard as the place to find answers to the “big” questions in life.

As well as accepting responsibility for past mistakes, the Church needs to bring on board the Irish Government’s

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child protection policy (Children First) and make it a vital part of the Church framework. If the Catholic Church in Ireland refuses to do these things I believe it is a sinking ship. For many of us, Catholicism is part and parcel of our lives, but for many of us not a tear would be shed if we saw it go. However, the Church has put itself in danger and to survive this storm they need to make the necessary changes.

Finally, one last thing to remember in our dealings with the Catholic Church is that not everyone involved in it is necessary responsible for the mistakes of the Hierarchy. There are genuinely committed priests and bishops who see the Church as the way to God, as a help to people, as an institution involved in Irish life and charity work. It is easy to tar everyone in the Catholic Church (and in all the Churches in Ireland) with the same brush but it would not be wise, or kind, or dare I say, Christian, to do so. Genuine people have dedicated their lives to the Church in which they now serve and have no part to play in the mess the Church has made of itself.

Having said that, the leaders of the Catholic Church in Ireland need to wake up to the position it is in and own up to the mistakes it has made or it will become part of the mythology of ‘old Ireland’ in the future. The newer Churches in Ireland can also greatly learn from the mistakes of the domestic Catholic Church – ensuring they do not repeat the mistakes of the dominant Church.

Lord Acton once said that power corrupts, but that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Never again should the Irish people allow any unelected organisation hold absolute power over them, or again we will find it to be corrupt and corruptable – perhaps it is time to redefine what makes an Irish person Irish, along more modern paramaters. Sinking ship or time for a reformation? Time will tell.

by Orla Hubbard Arguably one of the most urgent issues facing Ireland today - the protection of children - is something that we can all agree to be a national priority.

However it is also something that has been continuously put on the long finger by Government. Successive reports have highlighted the extent to which child abuse was perpetrated in this country through the decades, and even more shockingly, the extent to which children are being abused and neglected right now. At the heart of most of these committee reports was, as the Ombudsman for Children put it, the recognition of an «abject failure of Government to protect children.»

How can a society which claims to embrace human dignity and democracy continue to shy away from protecting its most vulnerable citizens? Our cowardly government hides in the shadow of the constitution. A constitution which is itself the primary obstacle to providing effective protection for children. It stands in the way of the child at every turn.

Ironically, a core feature of Bunreacht na hÉireann is the pedestal that the ‘Family’ is placed upon. This may lead you to believe that children, as a part of the family unit, must be well provided for. But it is in fact the family based on marriage that is most fervently protected. The rights of parents are strong and steadfast in our constitution, ensuring the pillar that is the Family cannot be interfered with by the State, and the rights of parents to educate and to keep the child within the family home are given express protection. A child may only be removed from the care of a parent «in exceptional cases.» However the constitution is silent on the rights of the child.

It is this express and strongly worded protection of parents’ rights that has resulted in such extreme deference to

Protecting Children has to be the priority parents, both by the judiciary and the legislature. In short, the powers that be are willing to sacrifice the safety and care of children in order to ensure they do not step on the toes of the constitutional provisions on the Family.

It is true that small steps have been made in recent years, such as the approval

by Cabinet to put the Children First guidelines on statutory footing following the Ryan Report, a move that has been welcomed by many organisations, including Amnesty International.

However this move, though a positive one, will be of little tangible consequence. The root of the problem is simply that the constitution’s protection of parents’ rights over those of children is supreme above any guidelines or legislation that can be passed. The only way to effect real change is to go to the source and amend the constitution. This is something of which the government is well aware.

After endless lobbying by children’s rights groups such as the ISPCC and Children’s Rights Alliance, we were finally promised a Children’s Rights referendum in 2006.

However it has been continuously put off since then, until it was finally scheduled to be held this year. But it has now been shelved by the new coalition government until 2012. One of the reasons given was that the Government wanted to reword the provision, despite the previous wording having received the approval of most children’s rights groups.

Minister for Children Frances Fitzgerald defended the government, arguing that the referendum would not get the kind of focus it needed if it was held in the autumn, at the same time as the presidential election. Notwithstanding this, Enda Kenny announced last week that there would be three referenda; on whistleblowers, the Abbeylara judgement and judicial pay, held on the same day as

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the presidential election.

It is strikingly apparent that this government is as reluctant as the last to provide effective legal protection for children. It matters little what percentage of media attention the Children’s Referendum gains; media praise should not be the aim of any such referendum.

This issue is so sensitive and so universal that it intimately affects every single person in this country. Every day that the referendum is delayed, more children are left in danger.

We need to see the promises of the government backed up by action. Despite all the reports of the failures of the State to adequately protect children from abuse, progress to ensure it never happens again, and to stop it happening now, is painfully slow.

The Government’s special rapporteur for child protection, Geoffrey Shannon, has pointed the finger at the HSE, saying they are «over-deferential» to parents and put their rights above those of children at risk. But the truth is that the HSE is so constrained by our current laws that it cannot remove a child from a home unless it can prove the child is in serious danger. This is a heavy burden of proof, especially in a State where the constitutional presumption is that the child’s welfare is best served by the parents. It is in fact the Government which continues to be over-deferential, to a constitutional provision written in 1937. It is no secret that many provisions in our constitution are in need of reform, and many have already been amended.

So why is our Government so reluctant to do the only thing that will make a real difference to the status of children in Ireland? There is no acceptable excuse to continue delaying the Children’s Rights referendum.

Obama’s Big Moment

Daithi O Se outlines the challenges Barack Obama faces and why we should back the president in 2012 “I’d rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president.”

This is what Barack Obama told ABC’s Diane Sawyer in January 2010. As someone who watches his Presidency so zealously, I often ask myself: If Obama was a one term President; would he be remembered as a great one? Only time will tell.

The first 2 years of his Presidency were very successful with various liberal policies being written into law. But since the 2010 Midterm elections, Obama has been on the defensive and has bowed to Republican demands in the name of “bi-partisanship”.

He can continue to cave and endeavor to parley with Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) and Senate Republicans, people who dislike Obama and his ‘liberal socialist’ views.

These are people who will stall, vote down, filibuster and even cheat to stop his bills being signed into law.

His other option is to fight back. Point out the hypocrisy of Republican policies which are plain WRONG and STUPID at this grave time in America’s economic history. The amount of folly on the Right is astounding.

Obama needs to take on Boehner, who’s Speakership is hindered with rebellious House members of the Tea Party, the ultraconservative wing of the GOP. When Obama came to Ireland, he spoke before thousands of people in Dublin and while his speech had nothing to do with the 2012 election, you could feel the old electricity and oratorical skill for which he is renowned. Obama needs a complete shift in his manner of dealing with Capitol Hill. He needs to stop trying to work with the Republicans. He needs to recognize that when the other side detests you, no deals can be made. Only fighting them and exploiting their weaknesses is where the key to reelection is to be found. I’m not forgetting the economic situation, where unemploy-

ment is at 9.1%. This will be pivotal to the election as no recent President has been re-elected with over 9% unemployment. In 1992 Bill Clinton overwhelmed George Bush Snr. as the economy was also the central issue of the day.

Now to the interesting bit: The 2012 election itself. Analysts say that Obama could raise anywhere up to $1 billion dollars for his election campaign. This war chest will blow

the other side out of the water in terms of fund-raising. That said, the campaign is desired to be of the grassroots alone with ‘Obama for America’ campaign manager, Jim Messina stating that no corporate lobbyist money will be accepted over the course of the campaign.

Personally, I look forward to the campaign over the next 13 months. First the GOP nominee will have to be decided. This won’t take place until next summer with Obama guaranteed receiving the nod from the Democrats for another run. The biggest issue of 2012 is the American Economy and Job Creation. Voters face a colossal choice.

Will they choose Obama’s quest to strengthen the middle class or will they prefer the Republican candidate and their tax cuts to corporations, big business and the rich. A great deal will be on the line. How well the economy recovers or not in the next year will decide who the next President will be for Inauguration Day 2013.

In the United States, the method of elect-

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ing the President is determined by an Electoral College basing the number of votes on the results of the 2010 Census. Obama can count on blue states like New York (29), Pennsylvania (20), Illinois (20), Massachusetts (11), Michigan (16) and the big one, California with an enormous 55 electoral votes. The Republican nominee will be able to go into the election with at least 35-40 Republican red states of anywhere between 3 votes from Montana to 35 votes from the Lone State of Texas. Every election is like this, Democrats have their strongholds, Republicans have theirs.

The key to the election are the swing states; battlegrounds where support is evenly divided and victory is possible for both sides. Looking at the map, I believe the 2012 election will come down to 6 Key States: Florida, Ohio, Indiana, Virgina, Wisconsin and Nevada.

These states hold a combined 87 electoral votes. Should the GOP candidate win these, Obama is out.

If Obama wins, then it’s 4 more years for the first African American President.

Obama needs to stop compromising and start fighting for middle class and working families alone. Do what he was sent there to do; fight for the people who are unable to do so. He said in a recent speech that the election cycle is swiftly approaching so it would become thorny to move forward in friendship unless both sides came together to create jobs. What he doesn’t see is that the election cycle has been raging since the 2010 Midterms. I think Obama deserves another term. Granted, he has made mistakes but his heart is in the right place and his policies have really made a difference in people’s lives. Fighting for the middle class and asking the super-rich to give a bit more is not as unreasonable as the Republicans make it out to be. “Change We Can Believe” is still at hand. November 2012 is only 13 months away and Obama deserves the opportunity to continue bringing Hope and Change to a broken nation. The battle for Congress is over, the battle for re-election is about to begin.

Entertainments

I At Least Gotta Try! John Murphy

‘Some people can get a thrill knitting sweaters and sitting still.’

Another month, another Motley, another enjoyable Entertainments section.

In the month past, something which struck me the most was the whole idea of change and trying new things. With Clubs Day and Socs Day past, another set

of people have decided to get involved and try something different. Something I hadn’t foreseen was that even some of month’s articles for the Ents section seem to be related to this in some way or other – moving past the (ridiculous) stereotypes and preconceptions of something and giving it a chance yourself.

We all have some preconceived notions (both good and bad) about most, if not all, things: people involved in a certain Club or Society, a film you haven’t seen, the TV show your friends are always talking about, that album you haven’t gotten around to listen to, the book you’ve heard so much about but haven’t read, the new musical hitting the West End or Broadway, a new adaptation or remake of something you’ve always treasured, or prequels and sequels to your all-time favourites.

Just give it a chance and try it.

Guess The Movie

Here at Motley’s Ents Section, we like to into his own goblet, or his enemy’s? Now, test your knowledge of all things Entertain- a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that ments. only a great fool would reach for what he Simply guess the name of the movie was given. I’m not a great fool, so I can (brownie points for the characters’ names!) clearly not choose the wine in front of you. by reading the extract.

But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can And, no, we’re not giving any hints! clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

MAN 1 rotates the goblets in a little shell game manoeuvre then puts one glass in front of MAN 2, the other in front of himself.

MAN 1: You’ve made your decision then?

MAN 2: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows.

And Australia is entirely peopled with MAN 1: All right, where is the poison? The criminals. And criminals are used to havbattle of wits has begun. It ends when you ing people not trust them, as you are not decide and we both drink, and find out whotrusted by me. So I can clearly not choose is right and who is dead. the wine in front of you.

MAN 2: But it’s so simple. All I have to do MAN 1: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison MAN 2: Wait till I get going! Where was I?

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Unforgivably Brilliant “Clint Eastwood is the greatest living American cinematic icon” – Chris Redmond

Just last week, I spent my usual quarter of an hour trawling IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes looking for news of upcoming films, trying but not succeeding to ignore the spurts of gossip that slightly tarnish the otherwise excellent quality of those websites. There was one particular item, however, that really got me excited, and it was the belated trailer of Clint Eastwood’s upcoming J Edgar Hoover biopic starring Leo DiCaprio. It is at times like this that

people inevitably start comparing the giants of cinema, arguing this way and that about who the greatest director in history is. This happened when Scorsese released Shutter Island last year and it is happening again as the world gets ready for Eastwood’s most hotly-anticipated project for a number of years.

I will state this categorically – Clint Eastwood is the greatest living American cinematic icon. He is the greatest because he has endured.

Unlike De Niro, Nicholson and Pacino, Eastwood has sustained an astonishingly high quality for nearly half a century. He has been the most successful because he has adapted to changing audience demands while never

forgetting or abandoning his mystique. Some of his peers have traded on their earlier masterpieces and at times become tired parodies of their former selves. Eastwood, on the other hand, has taken his Dirty Harry image and held it up to scrutiny as political ideologies and audience expectations continue to change.

Let’s take Dirty Harry, his most celebrated film character of a career full of them.

Despite some disapproval from left-wing critics and feminists, Dirty Harry was an important film for 1971 and an important film for Eastwood’s developing image.

Harry resonated strongly with American audiences following a multitude of disasters on the part of the Nixon administration; seeing one man take matters into his own hands and stick two fingers up to bureaucracy was an exhilarating projection of that generation’s fierce desires. And who better than Clint to stick it to the government! Dirty Harry ensured that Eastwood’s star would shine blindingly for years to come, but his reverence to this day has everything to do with his willingness to tweak

his image to ensure the ‘has-beeners’ maintain their distance. Perhaps more than any other film in the Eastwood canon, it was multi-Oscar winner Unforgiven that added an ambiguity not seen in many Western movies before or since.

Unforgiven is pornography for film academics. You may have heard the term ‘revisionist Western’ – if you have, the chances are it was in relation to this modern masterpiece, which very effectively strips the varnish off the quintessential American genre, and putting the boot into the extreme right-wing ideals of the Wayne and Ford era. There is an interesting way of watching Unforgiven that makes the waters of morality even murkier. I do hope you’ll forgive that trite little metaphor, but it raises an interesting point!

Eastwood is, of course, the protagonist, and Gene Hackman plays his nemesis, Sheriff Bill Daggott. However, we soon learn that Clint’s character, aging outlaw William Munny, killed women and children during his whiskey and blood-laden heydays, and yet, because of the power of the Eastwood image, we still root for him and regard Daggott as the film’s true psychopath. If any of you have seen the film with those glasses, I would invite you to watch it again, only this time reverse the roles of the stars. Eastwood is the child murderer and Hackman is the sheriff trying to protect his town.

Suddenly, the lines between good and evil are considerably harder to define.

That, essentially, is why the Eastwood image has endeared for so long and will surely continue to do so. There has never been a complete overhaul of his on-screen image, but instead a few little tweaks here and there, each one serving to question and critique traditional notions of American patriotism. As we await the November release of J Edgar, I have no doubt that this pattern will continue.

Image credits: WarnerBros.

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On Sequel Matters

Keavy O’ Sullivan proves that sequels don’t always deserve their preconceived dread

Few press releases that aren’t in any way affected by super-injunctions excite public controversy and debate more than those regarding film sequels. They fill people with dread, uneasiness, apprehension, and fill the internet with badly typed, often nonsensical nuggets of hatred. As much as this reaction pains me to see – I mean seriously, if you are being made “physically angry” at the thought of a film even being made, just don’t go to see it – audiences have been hurt before. From Star Wars to Deuce Bigalow, a bad sequel can strike anywhere, anytime, and it’s hard for an actor or franchise to recover. Unless the actor in question is Sylvester Stallone. Then you’re golden for as many Rocky and/or Rambo things as you can physically make.

older), stunning locations and a brilliant score all combined to produce a series that will continue to enchant viewers for years.

On the other hand, some of the best films ever made have been sequels. Critically acclaimed and publicly adored, a good sequel can make you forget all the bad misguided attempts at profit that you ever watched.

This summer saw the release of a number of high profile sequels – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and The Hangover 2, to name but a few – and there are of course scores more to come, including The Hobbit – the prequel to one of the most successful movie franchises of all times – The Lord of the Rings. So, in an attempt to spark up enthusiasm about sequels, here’s a quick selection of films which, in my opinion, justify the business of making and viewing sequels as an ultimately rewarding one:

The Lord of the Rings

Harry Potter Undoubtedly one of the cinematic events

I can honestly say these are some of the best films I’ve ever seen. The first film was cinematically stunning, as they all were, and allowed for some great character development, as well as making the brilliant call to cut the bizarre Tom Bombadil sequence (for those of you who haven’t read the books, he’s basically a guy who lives in the woods, appears to be high on… something… and who quite possibly steals the hobbits clothes). Then, along came The Two Towers, and suddenly the first film was being seriously challenged. Amazing action sequences, brilliant effects, and a frankly incredible portrayal of Gollum cemented this films reputation as a classic. The Return of the King was likewise an amazingly well made and brilliant to watch film, though for me it didn’t quite live up to the brilliance of the second film. Which reminds me of my third choice…

The Godfather

of the century. These films arguably just kept getting better, and I for one will miss the annual anticipation of their successive releases. A great story with superb casting (which only got better as the actors got

one of the best made and most loved films of all time. The stunning combination of flashback and present day action plays with the classic sequel format in all the right kind of ways. Combined with unforgettable performances from Pacino and De Niro, this film was destined for greatness. Not bad for a sequel. In the interest of continuing with the glowing reviews given so far, I’m just gonna gloss over the existence of the

third film.

Silence of the Lambs While it is widely accepted as one of the best films of the 1990s and was one of only three films to win the top five Oscars of the year (Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay), it is also a remarkably little known fact that Silence of the Lambs is technically a sequel.

It was preceded in 1986 by Manhunter, which was such a flop that the director, Dino de Laurentiis, gave the rights away for free to Orion Pictures, making him an exception to the rule that the sequel is the film which damages reputations.

So there you have it: some of the most popular and widely acclaimed films of all time have been sequels. While many view them as an opportunity to re-use old jokes, scenarios and actors, they can also be used to provide a familiar and ‘safe’ environment for actors and directors to produce some of their best work. So don’t knock it just ’cos it’s already been tried.

Just like the horses head in the bed, you all knew this had to be coming up. The Godfather Part II is widely acclaimed as

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Image Credits: WarnerBros, New Line Cinema, Paramount Pictures, Orion Pictures.

it brilliantly.

Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see

Daniel Kiniry takes a look at the cult classic Twin Peaks and its prequel/sequel, Fire Walk With Me

Twin Peaks is a show that redefined what it meant to be a cult show. While successful in its first season, it hit a dip in quality by the middle of season two and was ultimately cancelled. The show was created

by David Lynch, the visionary nutball behind such films as Dune, Mulholland Drive and those… weird bunny shorts (which incidentally featured in his recent movie Inland Empire). This movie came a year after the show ended, entitled Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. This movie gave Lynch a chance to be creative, take elements from the show and try to mesh them into

the more shortened yet more liberating field of film, see if they can both work as a worthy accompanying piece to the film, and appease it’s rather hardcore fans by answering some questions and producing top quality, Peaksian entertainment. Does it work? Well... kind of.

First of all, I guess I should say what I liked about the show. Twin Peaks is based in a small town of the same name and it follows the investigation of the murder of teenager Laura Palmer. The focus for a season and a half is on Laura Palmer’s murder and each episode builds up after the last. It’s intense, exciting and takes a lot of risks. The characters are rich, varied, interesting and develop in their own right, in particular the show’s protagonist Dale Cooper.

It doesn’t just function as a mystery show,

however, as it has great moments of humour. The show is almost a parody of a soap opera, with several affairs and double dealings running prominent throughout the series’ run (there’s even a rather humourous soap that runs in the show – a parody of a soap in a parody of a soap!). There’s an otherworldly aspect that runs into the series as it progresses and it feels very natural and believable within the show’s lore. It’s atmospheric, too; Lynch’s episodes in particular make you feel like you’ve been transported into this world. While the show is a little dated and may come off as corny or stupid, it’s still incredibly entertaining and extremely thought provoking.

So what did the film get wrong?

I think its main problem is that it is not self-contained. If you never watched the show, you would be completely lost and spoiled for the entire series.

Due to the conclusion of the second season ending on a cliffhanger, fans were left begging to know what happened due to this conclusion. This, in part, is a fault of Lynch as FWWM is a prequel, based on the last days of Laura Palmer’s life. Therefore, none of the questions left by season two’s conclusion are answered and instead we have to go through the story of something fans of the show would already know. What’s worse is that Kyle McLachlain, the actor who portrayed the show’s popular protagonist Dale Cooper, is hardly in the film due to fears of being typecast, so his role is limited to about ten minutes. Well, it doesn’t hold up, but it’s still worthwhile a watch for Twin Peaks fans.

Due to the behind-the-scenes stuff, a lot of the actors didn’t return, resulting in a lot of script rewrites and cast changes.

Therefore, the movie feels very uneven and the parts that have been changed, very alien and too different from the show. The focus on Laura Palmer, however, is very well done and takes up the majority of the movie. Sheryl Lee, who plays Palmer, really brings the character to life while she was previously played as a catalyst for the plot on the show. She is made into a sympathetic, tragic and complex character which makes her inevitable and depressing end all the more potent. Ray Wise, the actor who played Laura’s father Leland, gets an expanded role in the movie and Wise plays

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The creepy and surreal atmosphere that was famous in the show is back in full force and Lynch uses the expanded budget and possibilities that the movie world can bring to full force, making the colours richer and the effects more intense. There are some answers to the show’s various unsolved mysteries and they create new light for the show and make it more dynamic. In particular, the motivation of the killer and Laura’s behaviour is completely fleshed out and makes the incident feel more complete. When the movie is good, it’s truly powerful and a worthy movie for the show. Unfortunately, it’s filled with rather strange scenes that go nowhere, hokey

dialogue and acting and a very incoherent feel that is completely unintentional.

Like the show itself, the movie is a definite mixed bag. Unlike the show, however, these aren’t as excusable, as it was intended to be Lynch’s launch pad into a Peaks series of movies. It’s a shame, as well, as a lot of the elements of the movie work really well, it’s just weighed down by its lack of real structure and untapped potential. The show, despite its flaws, is a true masterpiece and I recommend anyone who’s reading this to go find it on DVD. The movie, while amazing at some points, is only really worth the watch if you are a diehard fan of the show and want a complete picture of something that was cancelled before its time and, sadly, it is a story that may never be continued as it so rightly should be.

Enjoy the show and hopefully the movie.

And remember, the owls are not what they seem...

Image credits: CBS Television Distribution, New Line Cinema.

Julia Healy catches up with Kevin Terry and Paul O’Reilly, two thirds of Cork band Saint Yorda.

Following recent media coverage on the Cork Music Show, the G-Man Blog, Hollow Press and Drop-D, pop band Saint Yorda are igniting the already-vibrant Cork music scene. Keen to escape the ‘alternative’ label, Saint Yorda balances clean hip-hop synth percussion with plenty of MBV-style fuzz and distortion, and even surf guitar sounds reminiscent of the XX and the Twin Peaks soundtrack. Their songs are lyrically sparse, sad-sounding, and mellow, and are adorned with Paul’s honey-sweet Beirutesque vocals.

Kevin states, “My favorite lyricist is Liz Harris who records as Grouper. Every line she writes is just very frank and very moving. We try not to say too much. We like to get to the heart of it, nothing unnecessary. We really love My Bloody Valentine. Our music is a lot more straightforward than MBV, more simple. But I guess there are similar vocal melodies.” Paul insists that although there is a sadness in Saint Yorda’s songs, they are essentially love songs. Kevin adds, “Love is a driving force in our music. Love and sadness are very similar things. There’s very little aggression in our songs, it’s very sweet.”

Hip-hop and dance seem to play as

important a role in Saint Yorda’s music as shoegaze rock. With Earl Sweatshirt and Pictureplane stated as influences, Kevin talks about the use of synth beats: “We wanted to bring something more to the music. Hip-hop and dance beats are fun, although we have worked with live drummers in the past and we’re open to the idea of working with them again: they bring energy to live shows.” Kevin feels a strong influence from LCD Soundsystem’s repetitive, rhythmfocused pop music, while Paul is a fan of The Knife.

Live shows are an intense experience, from the melancholic Ocean and Yr Bones, to the catchy, more upbeat Sakawa Boys and Manta Ray. “After we did a gig in An Bróg, there was this Spanish girl in smoking area, who we overheard. She said something along the lines of ‘When I closed my eyes I liked their music a lot, but when I looked at them I felt so sad that I couldn’t dance.’ I think that sums up our music!” - Kevin.

Paul and Kevin met in secondary school, united by a love of Smashing Pumpkins.

“They’re the only band I used to listen to back when I was 14 or 15 that I still like,” says Paul. Kevin adds “Billy Corgan used to make really amazing pop songs, and write the most amazing lyrics. It’s like every line in that song Zero is incredible, and also kinda funny.” Indeed Saint Yorda cover Zero at live shows. Kevin remarks, “we try to change it from being a harsh rock song, we wanted it to be kinda ‘tropical’.”

Saint Yorda’s visual image, rendered from Paul’s sophisticated Japan-influenced artwork, gives Saint Yorda a certain edge.

A graduate of Crawford College of Art and Design, Paul is the artist behind Sunless, and has produced art for Saint Yorda’s posters and recordings. ‘Saint Yorda’ comes from a video game, ICO, in which the main character holds the hand of Yorda throughout the game. “‘Saint’ just sounded cool,” Paul explains. Kevin adds, “We’ve had people say ‘Saint Yoda’ or ‘Saint Jorda’ so maybe it’s not the best name.”

As a pop band, Saint Yorda avoid genre pigeon-holing. Kevin says, “It’s a way to get away from ‘baggage’ associated with the term ‘alternative’ and the posturing that comes with being a rock band, it gives us a license to do what we want within a pop song structure.” Paul adds, “Pop is just so generic it doesn’t mean anything.”

Kevin, Paul and Ros all write for Saint Yorda individually, but work on song structure together. Kevin says, “If you’re working out the structure together you can see how long you can do something without it becoming boring, and on the other hand you can see how short something can be while still getting the point across.” The band plan to perform material written by bassist Ros, the band’s newest member, soon. Paul’s motivation is “writing songs that we want to play over and over, and it doesn’t get boring, it’s always fun. We really only started gigging in the last year but we’ve always played music together, since school.”

Kevin is very positive about the Cork music scene. “There’s some really great acts like Trumpets of Jericho, the Altered Hours… we recorded our songs with Cathal from Altered Hours, he’s a really great guy - we love them. There are lots of great bands. We like Agitate the Gravel too.”

Saint Yorda have no official releases yet, but they have material on BandCamp, SoundCloud and MySpace sites. Information on upcoming gigs can be found on their Facebook page.

Image credit: Julia Healy.

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the ambience affair

Lisa Curtin catches up with frontman of The Ambience Affair, Jamie Clarke.

Following the release of their debut EP ‘Fragile Things’ (2009) and ‘Patterns’ (2010), The Ambience Affair have gone on to support many highly acclaimed acts such as Field Music, Bell X1, Villagers, Peter Broderick, Jape, and Lisa Hannigan.

Their song, ‘Parting Patterns,’ was recently placed in an episode of CSI: NY.

I’ve always really wanted to do: to write the album and have the songs all finished to quite a high degree. I’d say I’m pretty positive about how it turned out. We’re all pretty positive about the album and how we’ve achieved that, and now it’s about looking forward to playing shows and hopefully getting support bands.

How did the band meet and get together?

Do you think your sound has developed over time?

Apart from the album, what else have your fans got to look forward to over the coming months?

There definitely has been a progression alright… Earlier on we used different instruments to what we use now. Before, there was just an acoustic guitar and drums, and now there’s two acoustic guitars, there are electric guitars and special effects. The songs have a lot more depth than they did before. On the album there’s strings and there’s also brass, so the sound has come along quite extremely even from our second EP – even with the introduction of the electric guitar. We have a lot of electric guitar on the album, so, overall, there is a huge difference between the band that we were then and the band that we are now.

Well, the album, as you said, and then the dates for the album tour. I think we’re just going to see how it goes down, and basically every single thing we do from that – you know, see how many people come to the show, see how it gets reviewed and what the response will be. We’re then going to base the next tour after that, and maybe visit the UK and the US and see if we’ll be able to take the album to different areas, because we’d be interested to see how different people in different countries perceive the album as well, and it’d be a very interesting thing to do.

We met three years ago when I was playing solo shows on my own and I got a job in a music shop and the drummer Mark worked in there and I realised I kind of needed a drummer at the time so I asked him to come along to one of my solo gigs and we started jamming then afterwards. Then, about last year, we realised that we needed another member, so we asked Yvonne to start playing with us (base).

And have ye always used original material?

Well, yeah we’ve done one or two covers in sets, but on the whole it’s always been our own music.

Have you any advice that you would like to share with upcoming artists?

How would you describe your music in three words?

From the reviews that we’ve been getting from the album, I would say indie, acoustic, and folk is probably the best description of it, but we use electric guitars as well.

And what would you say your main musical influences have been?

Well there’s artists called Final Fantasy and Grizzly Bear, and others called Steel Music that we’ve loved the past couple of years. We’ve introduced each other to those bands and it’s really helpful musically to try and figure out where we wanted to go, so those three bands have been really influential for us.

How would you say you feel about your music?

I’m pretty happy with how things are going at the moment. It’s something that

thing.

There’s nobody really like each other in any respect, so it’s all very healthy at the moment I think

What are your feelings on the music scene in Cork and Ireland as a whole?

It’s brilliant. I think we’re very lucky to be involved in the scene that we are in right now, and then in Cork you’ve got Fred, who are a great band. For me, at the moment what you’ve got in Ireland is a really exciting place to play music and be in a band; it’s so healthy and it’s not like it’s a competition, because everyone is doing their own

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Yeah, it’s kind of weird because I’d still consider us as an ‘upcoming band’, but I suppose we’ve been doing this for about three years. One of our priorities was to make our EPs as beautiful a package as we possibly could. That really helped us at the start for the product to feel very nice. And that’s what we did and it helped us because people wanted to buy it as it wasn’t a bad quality CD in a plastic case. It was always cardboard and very tactile – something people wanted to hold. That really helped us, and I think if you can hold on to that without being too amorous that is probably the best piece of advice I could give.

The Ambience Affair will be playing in Cyprus Avenue, supported by Katie Kim, on Saturday the 23rd of October. Their debut album, ‘Burials’ will be released October 14th and will be available on CD, Vinyl and Download.

Images courtesy of Word of Mouth Agency.

Mary Egan discusses lost opportunity, queue fights and everlasting friendship in the world of music genres If college is a time for open-mindedness and new experiences then why do we find the same people at the same clubs, week after week? We see the white runners and token Penney’s dresses in Havana’s and the hardcore Goths with a plethora of piercings dancing it up in Freakscene. Do we stick too rigidly to our music genres? Are we missing out on new people and places based on one hobby difference?

Aside from the obvious clash of taste between Freakscene fanatics and Gorbys goers, there exist other problems within music lovers of the same type. You may find the 6am queue goers quickly forming friendship bonds, but come 6pm, when those gates open, you can be sure friend or foe will be shoved out of the way to get up against the barrier. Everyone wants to be the number one fan, which there is unfortunately only one place for. The fight for this position is an individual quest, not a fosterer of friendship.

Music can bring people together in positive forms. Online forums and fan bases discussing bands latest releases and gossip can provide a source of friendship for people who have no friends with the same music interest, or that one loner that just doesn’t fit in. Without these resources they would be starved of that connection. It’s not all fistfights to the front of the line. There are long lasting friendships formed at concerts, all done to one common hobby: music.

On the other hand, festivals like Oxegen, Electric Picnic, and Indiependence foster friendships of people from all musical genre backgrounds. The rappers, the rockers, the hip hoppers all laugh together, mosh together, drink together, pass out together. It doesn’t matter

what genre you came to Oxegen for, you’re guaranteed to venture to at least two other genres. I saw acts as varied as Bruno Mars, My Chemical Romance, Ke$ha, Tiga and Jimmy Eat World.

Admittedly, I did prefer my favourite genre more, but trying out new bands and genres was fun. I learned that people’s behaviour doesn’t change with genre – hardcore crowd pushing fans are common, as are the friendly friend makers.

One gig I was at, the lead singer started crowd surfing. Instead of the expected rushing to touch Adam Lazzaris’ hand they worked together to get him safely back on stage. In contrast, at another gig I attended, we spent squished like salmon, unable to breathe, move, take videos, let alone dance, as every single person collectively pushed to get closer. The effectiveness of that from 100 people back I still don’t understand. No one was comfortable; several people were taken out fainting. Instead of helping these people leave, people pushed forward to grab their spot, like a carcass.

Rock, rap, hip hop, classical, folk, pop, opera, country, jazz, R&B. There are so many different genres out there. Swapping converse for heels for one night isn’t a total abandonment and betrayal of values. We all have that secret song of shame that we love. Despite my dedication to the rock genre, I’m quite impartial to some Taylor Swift and Eminem.

Music is an art form. Art exists to be explored and experimented with.

So why not mix pop and rock, rap and opera, hip-hop and classical.

If we never venture to Freakscene, how can we ever dismiss it? If we spend our lives in Crane Lane how will we know the night of our lives doesn’t await us in Cubins? If the point of art is to explore and experiment, then should we not critique each art form (in this case genre) after a full observation, rather than labelling something awful 30 seconds into one song.

Recommended Listen Fight Like Apes and the Mystery of the Golden Medallion is Fight Like Apes’ debut studio album from 2008. The Track ‘Jake Summers’ really gets stuck in your head. A great track for rushing to college, house parties, long train trips, and all your general college related scenarios. It contains eclectic vocals, guitar and drumming which makes it the unique hit it is.

There’s a good mix of genre, with punky pop songs like ‘Do you Karate?’ and sombre, melancholic downers like “Tie Me Up with Jackets”. The lead singer, MayKay has a great vocal range, from heart wrenching low notes to the highest pitches worthy of glass breaking.

‘Something Global’ echoes pop hits of Avril Lavigne, but the lyrics outshine Ms. Lavigne’s hits.

Quirky, enthusiastic and full of variety, this album can come across as messy but this lack of perfection makes this album all the more funky and unconventional.

Image credit: Model Citizen Records.

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Twilight and Jane Austin not so

Recommended Read

different after all?

Tamara Malone discusses modern day book flops and whether our future generations will judge our harsh

What kind of role do books have in the life of the average person nowadays? In the past, before the advent of TV and many other of our technologies, reading was

one of the hugely predominant forms of entertainment (among smoking cigars and gambling if you were a man, and doing some sewing and looking for a husband if you were a woman. Hmm… perhaps not that much has changed). In fact, picking up a book of an evening was such a commonplace event, that there was a certain hierarchy in terms of literature and genre; for example, in the time of Jane Austen, reading some romances or novellas was considered one of the lowest forms of entertainment, akin perhaps to watching Jersey Shore (or, dare I mention it, Geordie Shore) today.

Now that we have television, movies and, of course, the internet, reading is not a necessary part of our existence, and the result of this, in my opinion, is that all manner of literature has become acceptable and respected, though there are still the hordes of us who look down on those who read Twilight.

Though I must admit to feeling a particular disgust at the teenage girls who announced that they “loved reading”, when all they’d ever read was said Twilight and, if you were lucky, Harry Potter. Yet this is

still in contrast with the countless people I’ve noticed on Facebook, who under the ‘books’ section of their info page, have simply written “dnt lik reading”, or some other such eloquent statement. Personally, as a teenager, I counted Bram Stoker’s Dracula as one of my favourite books of all time, and yes, I did read Austen – though, in hindsight, did I read it only because it was considered a classic? Which obviously isn’t what you want either.

A question to consider is what effect does this cutback in reading and increase in the watching of TV and movies, and use of the internet, have on us, and on our intelligence? A quick Google search (ironic) has brought up the research of media theorist Marshall McLuhan, who believes that we, the “Google generation”, have adapted to a different way of thinking because of this change in behaviour. Our minds now work with the methodologies of search engines, with finding a speedy answer to a query and moving on. A negative aspect of this is that we now have increasingly lowered concentration levels, and our reading habits have reverted to the practice of rapid skimming, rather than any deep reading.

However, whether this is a beneficial or harmful development is to be debated – can’t it be argued that we’re just progressing as the world does? Tied in with this issue, and of course I could not fail to mention the new e-readers, the most popular of which seems to be Amazon’s Kindle.

Personally, I love the feeling of having an actual book in my hands, the rustling of pages, the smell of the paper… I digress.

With the e-reader, all this is lost, besides which, I couldn’t imagine myself staring at a bright screen for as long as it would normally take me to read a full-length novel (though of course I must have done so unconsciously).

Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression, by Sally Brampton.

This autobiography tells of the first hand terror of depression. It is both motivational and moving, tracing from the author’s current situation to her trips to hospital, psychiatrists, medication and from normality to depression. She outlines her earliest symptoms and the circumstances that caused their exacerbation. She details the process of group therapy, its uses, its problems, the difficulties of discussing an illness that you neither understand or wish to discuss.

Despite its dark content, it is an uplifting account of how you can overcome depression with the right support and processes.

Image Credit: Bloomsbury Publishing.

In conclusion, I’d like to pose the question, is any reading better than no reading at all, no matter what genre it is? I recall countless English lectures where I heard the oft-repeated statement that such-and-such a book – now obviously a classic in world literature – was considered ‘low’ for its time, whether for the subject matter or for the ‘scandalous’ language employed within.

Who are we to say what is truly good and what isn’t, without any knowledge of the impact it will have on future generations?

Who is to say that today’s Stephenie Meyer won’t be tomorrow’s Jane Austen? Ok, I’m taking it a bit far with that.

[Editor’s note: I’d like to apologise for any mental breakdowns amongst literary lovers caused by the reading of the title of this article. Motley Magazine and its Editors cannot be held responsible for damages.]

21

Life’s a song and a dance

Katie Dennison sings of the ‘life lessons’ to be found in musicals

“It’s the circle of life.” Really? How wonderful to know. “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Well, there’s a fact that will definitely help me live my life. “The hills are alive with the sound of music.” Oh right.

How… eh… poetic.

Well known phrases to many of us. These wise words were probably said by Nelson Mandela or Obama in some inspirational speech, right? Wrong! You owe these nuggets of wisdom to none other than musicals.

That’s correct, while you thought you were just watching a nun teach children to sing, or a basketball star and math nerd get together despite the status quo, you were actually learning life lessons. Congrats.

So why are musicals considered cheesy or corny, enjoyed only by gals and gays? Sure these groups of people can appreciate the

Mulan: When the captain of the army finds out you’re a girl disguised as a boy, he’ll be mad at first but will later realise he wants to get in your pants.

Singing in the Rain: A really good song only needs to repeat what you are doing and where you are. “Writing an article for Motley on the bus” is going to be a huge hit.

Beauty and the Beast: Keeping a girl locked in your castle is a sure-fire way of gaining her trust, respect, and eventual love.

Annie/Oliver: Orphans who can’t sing are less likely to be adopted by rich elderly men.

Hairspray: Racism can be cured by a dance-off between black and white teenage girls. If only we’d known that centuries ago.

Ragtime: Don’t run screaming towards the President of the US because you will get shot, cause your boyfriend to go off on a maniacal killing spree, and your baby to be raised by white people.

Wicked: ‘The Wizard of Oz’ is a lie. It’s Munchkin propaganda that is biased against the Wicked Witch of the West.

Also, “Those who don’t try / Never look foolish”. Win! The Wizard of Oz: ‘Wicked’ is a lie.

The Wicked Witch of the West is evil and it’s probably a good thing that she melted. And what kind of person sends a little girl off on a dangerous wild goose chase when she was already wearing the shoes that could magic her home?!

Spring Awakening: Abortion is wrong.

Or at least it is if your mum forces you into it and you ultimately die. What a twist – mother doesn’t always know best. My mind is being blown right now.

My Fair Lady: If the woman you love leaves you and then comes back, don’t talk about it. Just ask her where your slippers are… that will totally eradicate any issues in your relationship.

use of costumes and abundance of glitter, but surely everyone can benefit from the underlying messages?

Because, I can guarantee you that every musical has an important message.

Mamma Mia: No one really cares who’s actually supposed to be getting married, just so long as there is a wedding.

Grease: If a guy isn’t interested in you just change your entire personality and appearance and it will all work out. Also, boys lie about what they do on their summer holidays.

That is the cruel, cruel world we live in.

Moulin Rouge: Prostitution is a glamorous and lucrative business and always ends well.

Unless you get consumption and die.

Moving on, what about the songs in the charts? They’re not considered cheesy, yet when you listen to the actual lyrics you will be gagging! “I can see your halo”. Aw how sweet – no seriously go back to singing about being a boy. “Baby you’re a firework”.

Thanks Katy, you 2k11 legend. “That that don’t kill me, will only make me stronger”, I agree friend, you can put that song in the ‘Kanye West Side Story’. Boom – wordplay!

If anyone should be obsessed with musicals it should be men, manly men. Grease is all about the school rebels who wear leather jackets, skip classes and race cars. Mulan is about fighting, weapons and army warfare, while Hercules is about a ripped, half-god who spends all his time rescuing damsels in distress.

I ask you, people of UCC, what kind of a world do we live in when men are wearing tighter jeans than girls but they’re not interested in going to see a film about a summer camp where teenagers learn how to sing, dance, and rock? I for one plan to keep on growing and learning through my exposure to musicals and I hope you’ll join me, because, it’s true – we’re all in this together.

Image credits: respective owners of the images from each production.

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Coming Soon Louise Creedon and Laura Palmer discuss the upcoming films coming to cinemas in October

The Three Musketeers

Miller.

Release Date: 21st October.

Based on the bestselling novel by Lionel Shriver, this film stars Tilda Swinton as Eva Khatchadourian, the mother of a teenage boy who embarked on a high school massacre. Grief-stricken Eva tries to come to terms with her trauma by writing letters to her estranged husband. John C. Reilly and Erza Miller also star in this highly-praised thriller.

Paranormal Activity 3 Director: Paul W.S. Anderson.

Starring: Logan Lerman, Matthew MacFadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans.

Release Date: 12th October.

The Three Musketeers follows the story of D’Artagnan (Lerman) in his quest to join forces with three rogue Musketeers (MacFadyen, Evans and Stevenson). Together they must stop the evil Richelieu (Christoph Waltz) and face off against Lord Buckingham (Orlando Bloom) to save France. After nearly a decade of absence from movie theatres, the French classic gets new life in the form of a young cast, and some very imaginative visual effects. This brave reimagining of the French tale contains flying air ships (Leonardo da Vinci in design apparently), female assassins in enormous dresses and a teenaged D’Artagnan. It seems ripe with action and is also (unsurprisingly) available in 3D. This film is a must for fans of the classic tale – but be warned, they have deviated from the original 1844 novel. As with many remakes lately (this is a variation rather than a re-interpretation) many aspects have been changed to target a younger audience.

Expect swashbuckling teens and epic visual effects in this fast paced adaption!

We Need To Talk About Kevin

Directors: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman.

Starring: Katie Featherston, Sprague Grayed, Mark Fredrichs, and Lauren Bittner.

Release Date: 21st October.

A prequel to the Paranormal Activity series, this film is set in 1988, when Katie and Kristi were children. Intrigued by mysterious happenings in their house, the girls attempt to capture video footage of “Bloody Mary”, the demon that haunts them in the first and second films. Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, this is sure to have you jumping out of your seat!

Anonymous

Director: Lynne Ramsay.

Staying In? Rent THOR for a night Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is cast out of Asgard by his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) and is forced to live amongst humans, deprived of his godly powers and his hammer, Mjolnir. Literally ‘landing’ in New Mexico, Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) and co. try to help him to regain Mjolnir and find a way back home – but the hammer has been enchanted so that only ‘the worthy’ may wield it. With changes happening in Asgard, there seems little hope that Thor will ever return.

Many cite the predicable plot as a major drawback, and this has been fuelled by our friend, Hype. True, the plot is a bit predictable, but with stunning graphics and solid acting performances, it’s a great choice for a DVD night!

Image credit: Paramount Pictures. nessa Redgrave.

Release Date: 28th October.

“We all know William Shakespeare-the most famous author of all time. He was the writer of 37 plays, 154 sonnets and several epic poems. But what if I told you, Shakespeare never wrote a single word?”

With a tagline like “Was Shakespeare a fraud?” adorning its movie posters, how can one resist the lure of this film? To every English student in the country, Shakespeare is a required element to their curriculum. What if the man so many students grew to despise at Leaving Certificate level, was not responsible for those famous works of literature?

Anonymous plays with an existing urban legend, that Shakespeare took credit for another man’s work. Anonymous is a political thriller which explores the idea that Edward De Vere (Earl of Oxford) actually wrote the work credited to William Shakespeare.

Director: Roland Emmerich.

Starring: Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly, Ezra

Starring: Jamie Campbell Bower, Rhys Ifans, David Thewlis, Joely Richardson, and Va-

23

Image credits: E1 Entertainment, Artificial Eye, Paramount Pictures, Sony Pictures.

Stack O’ Craic John Murphy and Mary Egan reveal the crème of Cork’s events.

ART In Other Words Venue: Lewis Glucksman Gallery, UCC.

Jazz Improv

Spring Awakening

Venue: Crane Lane Theatre.

Date: 19th to 27th October.

Date: Every Tuesday.

Venue: Everyman Palace Theatre.

Venue: Crane Lane Theatre.

Info: A modern rock musical directed by Tony McCleane-Fay. Includes the always popular themes of failure, young love, abortion, homosexuality, suicide, sex, abuse and repressed hormones.

Info: All players are welcome. House band playing!

Date: Until 30th October.

Info: Exploring the relationship between art and text.

Travelled Tales Venue: Lewis Glucksman Gallery, UCC.

The Ambience Affair Venue: Cyprus Avenue Date: 22nd October

Vladimir’s Classical Twist

Info: Trio bring melodic rock to cork with support from Katie Kim

Date: 27th October.

Date: Until 30th October.

Info: An exhibition based on The Book of Lismore, a fifteenth-century Gaelic manuscript.

Do You Recognise Me Venue: Triskel Arts Centre.

Date: Until 26th October.

Info: Brían Crotty exhibits some of his work.

COMEDY Dylan Moran Date: 1st to 2nd November.

Venue: Cork Opera House.

Info: Unmissable entertainment. It is advisable to book early as tickets for his 2009 tour sold out overnight.

Tickets: €20

MUSIC

Venue: Cork Opera House.

Date: 27th October.

Info: Unique classical concert with Slovakian Vladimir, a talented violinist since the age of 5. His debut album was released in September.

Venue: Cyprus Avenue.

Tickets: €26.

Royseven

Info: Another act which featured in Oxegen, as well as Donegal’s Sea Sessions and the Rose of Tralee. They are rising to fame with hits such as We Should Be Lovers, which claimed the Number 1 spot in the Irish National airplay chart for weeks.

Singing Nina Date: 29th to 30th October.

Tickets: €10.

Venue: The Half Moon Theatre (Cork Opera House).

Cork Jazz Festival

Info: Karen Underwood narrates and sings the life story of the famous singer, Nina Simone.

Date: 28th October to 31st October.

Tickets: €16.

Venue: Throughout Cork city.

Info: Acts include The Harlem Gospel Choir, Tim Minchin, and Richard Galliano. For the comprehensive list of acts and venues, visit guinnessjazzfestival.com

THEATRE The Winter’s Tale

Billy Bragg

Date: 11th to 22nd October.

Venue Cyprus Avenue

Venue: Cork Opera House.

Date Tuesday 25th October

Info: Corcadorca’s dynamic reworking of Shakespeare’s mystical romance/comedy.

Info: Old school English folk hero bring’s 4 chords and the truth to Cyprus Avenue. Not be missed

Tickets: Students €7 (Monday to Wednesday).

Tickets: €15 to €26.

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BOOKS Purcell, Malone and Farrell Date: 27th October.

Venue: Triskel Christchurch.

Info: Prose readings and discussion with three Irish writers: Deidre Purcell, Martin Malone, and Michael J. Farrell.

Tickets: €5.

In Cinemas Now Warrior

Norwegian Wood

Orla Hodnett tests how well the latest addition to the recent trend in ‘fighting films’ holds its corner

Tricia Heffernan considers the enchanting, allconsuming power of boundaries on love and if this only serves to deepen the passion

The competitive fighting film almost seems to be emerging as a popular genre nowadays, from the highbrow academy award nominees (The Fighter, The Wrestler) to the corny (Fighting, Never Back Down). Warrior seems to go for the same knockout formula as the former: testosterone-filled action, balanced with an earnest, heartfelt core. As is with the nature of these films, they can fall on the side of truly affecting or tragically clichéd. While you couldn’t be blamed for jumping to the conclusion that Warrior would be a vacant, charmless action blockbuster, you’d do it a disservice going in with preconceptions. You have to accept it for what it is for face value. It may not be a radical change in formula and it may be an easy target for critics, as the subject matter of mixed martial arts could be easily lampooned. But what lies beneath this façade is a truly affecting and impressive film.

Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton play estranged brothers, Tommy and Brendan, with a shared, troubled past: a broken family, with an alcoholic father and deceased mother. Despite their shared hardship, the brothers haven’t spoken in 14 years and their lives have taken vastly different directions: Tommy is a traumatized war hero and Brendan a physics teacher. Both are forced back into the ring, Brendan due to financial troubles and Tommy being bound by a promise to a fallen comrade. Unbeknownst to one another, both enter the Spartan mixed martial arts competition, and it is in the ring the brothers are reunited and forced to confront one another after years apart.

Edgerton’s and Hardy’s performances are among the main reasons why this film hasn’t strayed into the territory of hackneyed clichés.

Hardy’s bulked-up stature lends itself well to the disturbed character of Tommy. While Tommy is not particularly likeable, he is entirely worthy of the audience’s empathy. Edgerton’s performance as the school teacher is earnest without being sickly sweet. Fight scenes don’t get too gratuitous but that merely serves to highlight how both brothers are duty bound in their decision to fight. The clarity of the brothers’ motivation gives the film direction and urgency, which recent films such as this summer’s X-Men First Class were criticised for lacking.

Warrior is an example of the sports film done right. Director Gavin O’ Connor ensures that the subject matter doesn’t become trite – it is raw without being theatrically emotional. The mixed martial arts element of the film is secondary to the two brothers’ odyssey, and while the story might come across as pretty conventional fare, O’Connor’s approach is remarkable in its realism and emotional depth.

Rating: 4/5.

Forbidden love is the sexiest kind, and love of death the most forbidden kind in this emo-ish, erotic tragedy from Franco-Vietnamese director Tran Anh Hung, based on the bestselling 1987 novel by Haruki Murakami.

It is set in Tokyo in the late 1960s – a world of student dorms, going for walks, getting letters from your girlfriend, sitting in your student room looking at LP sleeves while the record is playing; it’s a world of sexual and romantic excitement that is a cousin to widespread political unrest. Watanabe (Kenichi Matsuyama) is a student who begins a relationship with Naoko (Rinko Kikuchi), a beautiful, delicate young woman whom he knew a year before in high school. But while Watanabe works towards his degree, Naoko is in a remote psychological facility, suffering from a breakdown, able to receive Watanabe only infrequently as a visitor.

What binds them together – in a dark ecstasy of despair – is an inexpressibly painful event in their past, a terrible, mutual loss. It is holding them back in life, and threatens to smother and paralyse them.

But Watanabe and Naoko find themselves trying to forge a conjugal, sacramental bond with this past and, perhaps, with death itself. Attempting to fall in love with each other, as damaged souls, is a way of giving a narrative purpose and a moral grandeur to their lives, which another, more uncomplicated kind of dating could not possibly achieve. Their relationship almost attains the status of a suicide pact in which both partners are left alive.

As if the situation were not complicated enough, Watanabe also finds himself attracted to Midori (Kiko Mizuhara), a smart, sexy, free-spirited girl on campus who appears to represent a healthy and psychologically unencumbered future. However, Midori is cool, a little cruel – a flirt and a tease.

She, too, has her secret world of pain. When she suffers a loss, she demands that Watanabe take her to a porn film to dull the pain. But for Watanabe, perhaps, this is not exactly the point. The pain is the porn.

This movie is gorgeously photographed by Ping Bin Lee, and has a plangent, keening orchestral score by Jonny Greenwood. It rewards attention with a very sensual experience, although there might be some who, understandably, find it indulgent. Having watched it a second time since its premiere at last year’s Venice film festival, the film that came into my mind – apart, of course, from Twilight – was Wong Kar-Wai’s romantic classic In the Mood for Love (which Ping Bin Lee also shot), about two people drawn together by their respective partners’ infidelities. Both have the same tragedy, irony and romance which combine to create a doomy eroticism, but Norwegian Wood ignites its own fierce, moth-attracting flame.

Rating: 5/5

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Neighbourhoods

Cormac Lehane argues Blink-182’s change of direction in their comeback album

For those of you familiar with the Blink-182 trio of Mark Hoppus, Tom DeLonge and Travis Barker you will gladly notice a return to form for the band, albeit with a different sense of direction. In their new album, Blink-182 tell the story of their recent past and hold no punches about who they think screwed them over.

The new album is undoubtedly a much darker one than any of their previous. It has some deep, dark and meaningful moments.

The band has been broken up since 2005 due to some difficulties between management and bandmembers. Travis Barker tells in an interview with MTV how management dealt with him and Mark Hoppus who eventually left to form a new band called +44: “The only reason we were being cool and calling it an ‘indefinite hiatus’ is because that’s what this dork at the head of our record label was telling us. So thats when you find out everyone’s been conspiring against you”. So just like a bad relationship that ‘wasnt working out,’ Tom DeLonge left to form Angels and Airwaves and, for a while, the smell of gunpowder hung in the air rather than the sound of kick-ass drumming.

Then, two events gave the bandmembers some food for thought. A friend of the

band Jerry Finn who had produced every album up until then died and Barker was also involved in a planecrash.

Barker subsequently went under extensive rehabilitation and survived. The drama gave the bandmembers the perspective they needed to get back on the road, back in the studio and back doing what they loved doing.

It took two years from the beginning of 2009 to get to this album, and it does not disappoint. The classic punk voice of Mark Hoppus remains but much else has changed. The title ‘Neighbourhoods’ evolved from this idea that each member brought something to the band, like neighbouring parts of cities.

‘Ghost on the Dance Floor’ resonated with Barker, due to the only other surviving member of his plane crash committing suicide on August 2009. Hoppus chimed in with lyrics that dealt with breakdowns in communication, isolation, confusion and trust. ‘Kaleidoscope’ is about the bands lengthy recording process and its transfor-

There Are Little Kingdoms “Intriguing, witty… and meaningful” – Stephen Goulding Based solely on the title of Kevin Barry’s winner of the Rooney Prize for Irish Literature, one could come to the inaccurate conclusion that the book is filled with nostalgic and comely tales, dealing with awfully fictive characters that one could struggle to associate with, let alone believe exist.

However, once you read the first story, Atlantic City, you realise that this could not be further from the truth. Barry’s cold and gritty realism creates a candour upon which he develops his tales and protagonists. In Atlantic City, Barry depicts a familiar scene: “A tar melter of a day… Broad Street was quiet and muffled with summer.” Set in a Petrol station come Arcade, this taut story captivates and defines the complex social aspect of teen-life: the constant struggle to fit in and impress your mates in the least productive manner.

somewhat unwillingly, at the centre of a web of deceit and infidelity. Barry’s story audaciously marches its plot to a cracking climax that sees John trying to prevent an ape-shit dog, called De Valera, who is high off its head on anti-depressants from biting his face off, whilst driving a 4x4 with

mation since the beginning of its comeback, possibly the most significant track of the album. “So lock me in the studio, fill it up with sound and scenarios” and “Its a long road to get it right” carrying some heavy meaning in this song.

The band has undoubtedly gone through dramatic changes since ‘I Miss You,’ Feeling This’ and ‘All the Small Things.’ This new album does not shy away from the facts of the band’s troubled past, but in fact uses it to produce some pretty damn catchy tracks – definitely one to get in the shops!

Rating: 4/5.

Image credit: DGC, Intersco

a dislocated shoulder… Unpredictable is an understatement. However, to my amazement, it works and maintains a constant sombreness to it.

This candid writing is sustained throughout each of the thirteen stories. Barry’s choice of the banal things in modern Irish life makes the stories embarrassingly accessible. A grotty chipper, a rickety train, a forecourt and a drug-fuelled student party are just some of his chosen settings; a far cry from your run of the mill, home-like setting that is so often associated with Ireland.

A lesser writer would introduce you slowly to a theme, build the characters around it and add an interesting twist or development to the plot. Barry on the other hand, drops you into the deep end of the social cesspit of Ireland and throws you an embedded message as a buoyancy aid.

Once I began to read the book, I simply could not stop. It was intriguing, witty and humorous, and yet, at the same time, it was deep and meaningful. This collection of stories will taunt you after you have finished it and will astound you with its frankness.

Only one thing is certain after completion— you will long to re-read it.

Animal Needs, the fourth story of the collection, is set in a traditional Irish setting of “Meadowsweet Farm.” However, the story soon takes a sharp turn from tradition and explores a raunchier path. It deals with a young Irish farmer, John, who finds himself,

Rating: 5/5.

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Image credit: Stinging Fly Press.

The Phantom of the Opera

John Murphy embraces the Music of the Night in the recent 25th Anniversary Celebration of The Phantom of the Opera

Her Majesty’s Theatre, London, 9th October 1986 – the world premiere of the now much-loved musical, The Phantom of the Opera.

Many major theatre awards later, The Phantom of the Opera came to the Royal Albert Hall on the first and second of October with a production by Cameron Mackintosh for its twenty-fifth anniversary, where it made more money from the box office than any other production to date.

the original design by Maria Björnson, and, of course, extraordinary renditions of both Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music and Charles Hart’s and Richard Stilgoe’s lyrics.

Starring Ramin Karimloo as the disfigured Phantom and Sierra Boggess as the extraordinary opera house singer, the poignant high romance was broadcast in high quality live to cinemas across the world on the second of October – a convenient and inexpensive way to share in a special occasion. While experiencing musicals and other forms of theatre via satellite on the big screen will never equal the experience of being there in person, it is perhaps the next-best thing for life-long fans and those new to the world of musicals.

Karimloo, Boggess, and Liz Robertson (who played Madame Giry) previously worked together in Llyod Webber’s sequel to Phantom (though he regards it as a stand-alone piece), Love Never Dies, which recently closed after a year in the West End. The performances by each member of the cast were superb, but Karimloo’s passion, the exquisite voice and heart-felt performance of Boggess, and Hadley Fraser’s (Raoul) charming tones deserve particular merit.

Utilising the full orchestra conducted by Anthony Inglis, Cameron Mackintosh has undoubtedly made the twenty-fifth anniversary of Phantom one of the most extraordinary full-staged productions of the show ever seen: a large and talented cast of singers and dancers, an incredibly detailed and immaculately designed set with cleverlyplaced digital backdrops, magnificent costumes from

During the curtain call, Andrew Lloyd Webber made a brief humble speech and welcomed Cameron Mackintosh and the original London Company and creative cast on stage in honour of Phantom’s twenty-fifth anniversary. An emotional Michael Crawford was met with rapturous applause after he “hot-footed it from the London Palladium,” where he plays the Wizard from Lloyd Webber’s musical, The Wizard of Oz. As an additional surprise, Lloyd Webber’s own “Angel of Music,” Sarah Brightman, sang the title song and ‘The Music of the Night’ with Phantoms Anthony Warlow, John Owen-Jones, Colm Wilkinson, Peter Jöback, and Ramin Karimloo – the fact that Crawford didn’t participate in this ensemble came as both a disappointment and a surprise.

Even though I watched the performance in a cinema, the atmosphere was nonetheless palpable and the whole experience was thrilling. Early box office estimates indicate that the broadcast marked “the biggest daily result and biggest lifetime result of any alternative content cinema release ever in the UK.” Musicals are alive and well, and the big hits such as Phantom still attract a crowd to every performance – not meaning to be banal, but it’s a magical experience going to a musical, and one that is often wrongly stereotyped. Phantom is just one of countless musicals that has enraptured audiences and wakes their imagination, and it stands along with others as the pinnacles of musical theatre.

A uplifting love saga featuring spectacular songs and a magnificent score, The Phantom of the Opera will continue to heighten our sensations and unfurl its splendour for years to come.

Rating: 5/5.

The live recording of The Phantom of the Opera’s 25th Anniversary Celebration will be released on Bluray and DVD on November 14th.

Image credits: wooller.com

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Minimum Wage, Maximum Hassle...

Less than a month into my return to university life, and I have already lost the plot; the fabled “Golden Week” remains ever elusive, my diet consists entirely of free food given out at society events, and the good intentions I had of going to the gym three times a week have been replaced by nightly house parties and regular trips to the nearby Chinese. But worst than all of these combined is the state of my financial situation, which bears semblance to the last moments of a game of Jenga. The spectre of obtaining part-time work looms over my head once more, like a black cloud that promises nothing more than the minimum wage, bothersome supervisors and trauma.

At the start of my fresher year, I found a job in a city centre nightclub. This being my first job, I was enthralled by the prospect of earning my own money. Thusly, I entered into my newly acquired employment with vigour and excitement. Work started each night at eleven, and typically went on until three or four in the morning. The requirements of the job were simple; I was to collect glasses and bring them back to the bar, clean the toilets and make sure the place was kept spotless. Add 800 drunk people to the mix, however, and the task at hand became thankless. One night while sweeping the floors, I discovered a used condom left at the bar; a week later, I took a headbutt from a drunken gentleman while unclogging a sink in the men’s toilets (it wasn’t as bad as it sounds – he hit his nose off of the top of my head, hurting himself quite badly before being escorted away by a flurry of bouncers. It was a magnificent display of karma, it must be said). Once I received my maintenance grant, I left my uniform in the locker room and departed from my employment with haste.

Having had my fill of dealing with sexually frustrated drunken bastards whilst dodging volleys of vodka-infused projectile vomit on a nightly basis, I decided that I’d had enough of the workplace for the time being. Apart from a brief stint putting files into boxes at an insurance office for two weeks, I basked in the rays of destitute poverty and unemployment. This all ended last Summer, when I was given a job in a call centre.

Call Centres are less like workplaces and more akin to the Seventh Circle of Hell. The job consisted of sitting at a desk for nine

hours a day alongside a hundred of my colleagues, ringing Sky TV customers in the UK to enquire as to how they are finding their service. No offers, no deals, no relevant information – just a quick courtesy call to make sure that things were going alright for them. Obviously, these phone calls were stupendously pointless. The day was spent ringing dozens, if not hundreds of people with the sole purpose of preventing them from getting on with their lives.

To say that I found my time there monotonous would be an understatement. I would

call a customer and introduce myself in a cartoonishly enthusiastically manner. After Jack Gibson Lucey is a 3rd year Computer Science and English student attending UCC. This is the second time that his work has appeared in Motley Magazine this year. confirming their security details (ie. asking for their name and address), I would run through their account with them – were they happy with these channels, was their internet ok, what kind of shows they liked to watch, etc. The customer would grunt monosyllabic answers to speed up the process. Finally, I would wish them a great day before promptly hanging up and moving onto the next call.

Oftentimes, the context of these ‘courtesy calls’ veiled the true purpose of a correspondence – to enquire as to why a customer did not pay for their bills on time, and to tell them to clear their debt. On one occasion, I rang an elderly customer who had recently been widowed. The funeral of her late husband had cost upwards of £2000, so she cancelled her account two months previous in order to help pay off the expenses. However, whoever had cancelled her account had done it improperly - she was still being charged for a service that she was not availing of. She was unaware of this until I told her. Before I

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Cathal Brennan

was able to try and rectify the situation, she burst into tears and hung up – five seconds passed, and I was patched through to the next phone call.

For every downright depressing conversation that I had in a day, there was an equally ridiculous one. During my time there, I had a remarkable knack for ringing people at extremely inconvenient times.

I rang people while they were having sex, smoking weed or participating in the final of a poker championship*. I once had an enlightening conversation with a nice man who happened to be a roadie for the metal band Motörhead, and was tuning lead singer Lemmy’s bass guitar before a gig. I set him up with slightly cheaper broadband. Towards the end of my tenure, I rang a woman who had literally just come off of the Jeremy Kyle Show – she was unconvinced by the paternity test, apparently. She also wanted to add the movie channels to her package.

Despite the stress of my two previous jobs, I think it’s pretty important that I find myself a job for the year. Although parttime work can be a pain, I suppose it can be considered to be a ‘character-building’ experience – I appreciate my university course work and my free time a lot more because of it.

In this month’s section, we have a double page spread on how to improve your employability – whether it’s a part time job or a career you’re after, we have advice for you from a range of experts in the field.

Also included is part two of Gavin LynchFrahill’s account of his time in the Navy, a letter from a concerned student, some advice from resident man’s man Noel Dillon Daly, some more cheap and nom-able cooking recipes, and plenty more besides. Read on and enjoy. *Could’ve been worse. They could’ve been having sex, smoking weed AND participating in the final of a poker championship. – Athos, the Eternal Optimist Due to technical difficulties, the features@ motley.ie email address is currently not operational. If you would like to contribute to the section, send on an email to cthlbrennan@gmail.com. Apologies for the inconvenience.

Letters to The Sexy Man’s the Editor Guide to Satisfying the Ladies

Dear Sir,

I am utterly appalled to have to write to you on this matter. I feel compelled to tell you that one of the well established contributors of this fine publication has not only offended me, but the rules of sexual engagement also.

I write with the utmost vigour on this topic, a topic of most serious importance. This offense against me and young people of our age and standing cannot go unheard of or unpublished. The issue I speak of is the heinous crime of cock-blocking.

Cock-blocking can be defined as a conscious or unconscious obstruction of any sexual act, from flirting to laying the pipe.

It is one of the biggest barriers in our sexual journeys as college students in this day and age.

Many of us have been guilty of cockblocking at one stage or another; jealousy, awkwardness, not reading the signs and the unconscious erection of the proverbial iron curtain that shields the possible interaction between two sexually interested parties.

How can we combat this? How can we make this epidemic a more popular issue among our peers here at UCC? We need to realise that as college students, we should endeavour to support our comrades in their sexual livelihoods.

No longer is ignorance an excuse to this terrible crime on the most sacred of college pastimes: gettin’ the shift. We need to review the current situation. Are we a University of begrudgers? We are better than that.

Mr Editor, I implore you to not only show total distain to the art of cock-blocking, but to highlight the destructive force it bears on our college lives. Too many shifts have not happened in Cork because of this horrid habit. Let us strive towards a new beginning where shifting and maybe more are appreciated not only by the participating parties, but by the peers of the engaged parties also.

In Confidence,

Mike McCarthy, Concerned Kerryman

Noel Dillon Daly

If you’re anything like me, then you’re probably a man. Being a man is a lot like being a woman, except men have penises and, as far as I can tell, women do not. Having a penis is a full-time job for any gentleman worth his salt. It’s like having a loaded gun.

And, like a loaded gun, you can’t just pop it underneath a pillow and hope it doesn’t go off while you sleep. You have to go out at night. You have to wave it around. You have to attract some attention.

“I’d ask you to dance but I think the floors are made of wood.”

This article is a 5-step guide to attracting the attention of a young lady, taking her home and satisfying her to the best of your ability.

Tell her you own a boat. Boat ownership has a 100% success rate with the ladies. If you can own a boat, you can own a woman.

Remember, boats and women are practically the same. They both need a strong man to steer them in the right direction.

They both have silly names. They both have certain times during the year where you can’t take them out. And, sometimes, you can get ones that are so big, you just have to fill them with sea men and hope for the best.

Remember, there are only two types of women in this world: those who want to have sex with you and the visually impaired.

Step One – Pick your target Okay. You’re in a bar and you’re wearing that jumper your mother bought you. The heads are turning. Ladies are everywhere.

It’s time to make your decision. You can’t pick a girl who’s with a big group of friends.

She’s too intimidating. And you can’t pick a girl who’s on her own. She’s probably a nutjob. Take your time. Remember, you’re doing them a favour.

There she is! Fresh out of secondary school.

Her head is reeling. It’s her first night in town and she can’t believe she wasn’t asked for ID. Come on, it would be rude not to approach her. So saddle up and tell her fat best friend that there’s a vending machine in the ladies’ bathroom.

Now, it’s just the two of you.

Step Two – Take her down a peg If she’s good looking then she probably knows it. Now we can’t have that. You need to make her feel like she’s punching above her weight. Cooly and calmly, drop little back-handed compliments. But, for God’s sake, be subtle about it. Here’s a few zingers: “That’s quite the dress you’re wearing.

Where did you buy it? The obese woman’s shop?”

“I can see why you wear so much make-up.”

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Step Three – Talk about yourself If there’s one thing women hate, it’s talking about themselves. Use this opportunity to brag about your success. Tell her you put up all the shelves in your penthouse apartment and then ripped them off the walls.

Women love DIY. Women love anger.

Step Four – Go back to her place It’s very important that you go back to her place. The last thing you want is her knowing where you live. Tell her you have a shelving problem in your penthouse and then get a taxi back to her’s. When you get to her house make sure you have a condom. Or two. If you don’t have a condom carry on anyway. But only if she doesn’t have your phone number. Believe me you don’t want her ringing you up to talk about baby names.

Then, take her to the bedroom, lay her down and give her what she’s been waiting for all night. But make sure the lights are off. Nobody wants to see a grown man naked. Especially a woman.

Now, if you’re anything like me you won’t want to spend too long at this. Finish up.

Say “thanks”. Fall asleep. And then...

Step Five – Get the fuck out of there!

It’s morning. Make sure she’s asleep. Get out of bed. Get dressed. Get out the door.

You should leave her a note saying “You’re Welcome”. It costs nothing to be a gentleman. Then get the bus home. When you get home wake up all your housemates, light your pipe and tell them of your success.

If you fail to pull then do not worry, most men just skip to this part anyway.

Improve Your Employability Show Your Worth in the Jobs Market

by Cathal Brennan

If you’re reading this article, then there is a good chance that you’re a broke student who is thinking about getting a job. With the increase in the registration fee and the generally high cost of living in Cork, it is sometimes imperative for students to obtain part time employment during their time in university. Rent, food, fees, travel expenses, course materials – all of these things can add up to be a heavy financial burden on a student.

Or perhaps you’re a final year student, currently considering your options before entering the world of work. With close to half a million people unemployed and emigration on the rise, the prospect of starting a career in Ireland can appear daunting.

In this once off feature, I speak to experts in the field of career management and present different perspectives on the current jobs market.

The information within this double page spread is for those looking for part time work during the academic year, as well as those who will be graduating within the next twelve months.

Getting through the Selection Process Recruitment Executive Karolina Jankiewicz breaks down the do’s and don’ts of CVs, interviews and more head you got it! Every time you do out your CV, the more of it you remember and the more prepared you are. Always look at gaps in your CV where you have been unemployed – these are the issues that recruiters and employers will ask you about. What is this gap between jobs here, what were you doing then? You have to have good answers for these questions!

Oak Recruitment is one of the most prominent recruiting agencies in Ireland. It has three offices in Cork, Dublin and Dundalk, and was set up in 2006 under the original moniker of Driver and Labour Recruit Ltd (DLR Ltd). Since then, it has expanded beyond in the logistics sector and into the construction and financial industries.

Oak Recruitment and DLR now exist as two sister companies under the same management.

Before I got this job, I had 5 different kinds of CV. That’s because my work experience has such a range. You can’t include everything; you need to know how to pick and choose for a CV. Make sure that you read the job specifications. Every time you’re applying for a job, you have to read over them. Make sure that whatever is in the job specs is going to appear in your CV, and that you can back it up. Everybody can put whatever they want in a CV, but they don’t realise that everything does get cross referenced and double checked!

On September 28th, I interviewed Recruitment Executive Karolina Jankiewicz at the Oak Recruitment office near Pairc Ui Chaoimh stadium. I asked her about the jobs market, and how students in UCC should go about applying for jobs, be it a part time position for the academic year or the career that they embark on after graduation.

On Cover Letters – A cover letter is very important. Once you have the first sentence written in a cover letter, than that is the first thing that your future employer sees first. Cover letters should be different for every job applied for, a generic one is useless. In the letter, you just want to put down the highlights of your career, but only those highlights that are relevant to the available position. If I don’t have something on the page in front of me describing vaguely what skills this person has, then I don’t have time to read it! I receive 200-300 CVs a day, so I just go through those that are most relevant.

If you’re applying for what would be considered a white collar job, such as a graphic designer or an I.T. administrator, then it is important that you put a disclaimer in your cover letter under the personal information. your phone number, name and address. Keep it at just 2 sentences long, stating who you are and what you do.

Not everything you do, by the way! Just everything you do that is relevant for the position that you’re applying for. Because thats the first thing that the employer sees. so once you have it on your CV and there’s only two sentences, ‘i'm highly motivated, i'm a person with management experience of 6 years seeking job that would allow me to expand my skills, blah blah’, whatever you put down, it must be relevant for the position that you’re applying for.

On interviews – You have to be to the point, so be prepared. That’s very important.

Do your research. Do your homework. If you’re applying for a full time job, then do your research about the company. This information is readily accessible on the internet - every company has a website with an ‘About Us’ page! Do your research, even apply some of this research to when you’re writing your cover letter – that sector is of interest to me, and I would like to apply to your business as it was the second highest ranking gross profit in the last quarter, etc.

We all do it!

Be sure of what you’re saying. An important thing to bear in mind during an interview is that you’re there to apply for one job – don’t ask if there is any other work going! That means that you’re not sure about your own skills. So just be confident, be prepared and be yourself really. Make sure that you’re to the point and that you’re getting your answers straight across. Don’t stress yourself too much; if it is the job for you, then it’s not going to pass you by!

On writing your CV – It’s hard to decide what to put into a CV; my very first CV was 7 pages long! It can be hard work to draw it up. You should be applying for different job position on different CVs that have been tailored for that vacancy. The most important thing is to always apply for a job as it is advertised.

For every job, have a different CV written up. Treat it as preparation for your interview – I know you didn’t get it yet, but in your

Sometimes when I ring a reference, the phone number isn’t actually working anymore! The applicant should’ve updated it before sending it. It’s hard to take an applicant seriously if I can’t even contact a reference that they put down on their own CV. Always be careful to make sure that your CV is up to date.

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Any other advice to share?

Applying for jobs is a full time job! You have to just sit down and do it. My advice is to choose the type of job you want to do, read the job specs carefully, make sure you have the experience, skills and knowledge to back your application, and apply. So when you’re applying for jobs, aim to send three CVs every week - but do them very well.

Employability 101 KPMG is one of the biggest accountancy firms internationally, with 144 offices worldwide. In Ireland alone, their clients include the HSE, RTE, Pfizer, Barry’s Tea, Ryanair and Google. Originally a British company, they specialise in audit, tax and advisory services. They employ over 1,750 people, with offices based in Dublin, Cork, Galway and Belfast.

KPMG Auditor Eoin O’Regan and Lead College Recruiter Denise Treanor offer their advice for people entering the jobs market.

1. Be Prepared Eoin O’Regan: I’d advise them to do their research. Be knowledgeable about the business area they’re applying in. Have answers for the obvious questions, for example; why do want to work for KPMG? Or whatever company it may be.

Denise Treanor: Understanding the career that you’re getting into is a massive part of the interview process. Also, this can help to convey that the candidate is interested in a career, and not just a job.

2. Be Personable DT: People should be hard working, but should also be effective at communicating and dealing with customers. We want people that will be able to go out and work with clients, people that would be confident enough to talk to people.

3. Be experienced EOR: Students that have done internships have an insight into that career as a result, and by this stage they know that they want it. Work experience in general is really important.

Even just working in a bar or a corner shop gives applicants that extra bit of skill, especially with regard to helping customers, dealing with people and working as part of a team.

UCC Careers Service: Working to Get You Working Seamus McEvoy and Mary McNulty of Careers Service discuss the future graduate job market

The Careers Service office is a resource that is invaluable to the students of UCC. Consisting of a highly qualified and committed staff, Careers Service advise students on what career is suitable for them, how to write their CV, the best way of approaching an interview, and other aspects regarding their employability.

Mary McNulty, Deputy Head of Service, explained that Careers Service aimed to help students gain a foothold in the jobs market, and outlined how they did this.

“Any student can come into Careers Service and be seen by a careers advisor for oneon-one consultations. This can involve anything from building their CV, having their CV reviewed, preparing for an interview or holding mock interviews. We help ensure that a student’s CV is tailored for the job that they’re going for, so that they’re providing the right evidence that they’re suitable for the vacancy. Some students find it difficult to articulate the right information to employers both on their CV and in interviews; we help them with that.”

“A high number of students utilise the services on offer" said Seamus McEvoy, Head of Service. “We met between 50 and 60 students yesterday on a one-to-one basis for half an hour each. Today, we could be speaking to 60 or 70.”

At the same time, Careers Service are also organising and running numerous events on campus, such as Career Matters, Ask the Expert and a Recruitment Fair that will be taking place in the Student Centre on October 19th and 20th.

“Career Matters is a course made up of weekly two hour lectures over a period of 12 weeks. It focuses on creative job hunting, CVs and interviews, and also looks at improving leadership, communication, presentation and teamwork skills”, said

Ms. McNulty. “This is something that will be available to all students. The course is all about employability – it will really help students to develop the skills they need to get into the market place, and that’s what employers are really looking for. If you were to ask some of the main employers here in Cork, such as KPMG or PricewaterhouseCoopers what they were looking for, they would all say key competencies – someone who can work well as part of a team, who can deliver a presentation, who can talk to clients, has good interpersonal skills, shows some leadership and can take the initiative.

We’re now trying to develop those skills amongst the students of the university via these workshops“.

Having been successfully piloted last year, Ask the Experts is being run from October through to January. “Ask the Experts is a new programme we have up and running this year. We’re bringing in a range of employers who will be giving talks to students, followed by a Q&A session. These talks are for all students and will provide students with a broader perspective with regards to the jobs available in specific industries, such as the food industry and the financial sector”.

What advice would you give to students who want to become more employable?

“In terms of employability, we’re trying to push that agenda in terms of our students and graduates. We would see it as very important for students to gain skills to increase their employability; not only just as part of their coursework, but also in things that they’re doing themselves”.

“Employers look for a good degree, but they also look to see how the student has developed, that they’ve become rounded and balanced people. Students involved in extracurricular activities gain experience in organising events and projects, and also in working as part of a group. This builds

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up their skills, and when they’re in an interview they can talk about their experiences as opposed to waffling. Joining clubs and societies, getting involved in voluntary work, student media, part-time work , becoming a uLink Peer Support leader or a Student Ambassador – doing these part time voluntary positions gives you something to talk about in an interview.”

Despite the economy, Mr. McEvoy has a positive outlook with regards to the future employment of UCC graduates. “It’s much more difficult to get through to the selection process, but there are jobs out there.

What we found last year is that people weren’t actually applying for the jobs. We had companies coming to us saying that they weren’t receiving enough applications from UCC. If you’re not in, you haven’t got a hope. There’s so much media coverage surrounding the lack of jobs, people end up not even applying. Graduates are in a much stronger position than people with low qualifications, and there are more opportunities out there for people at graduate level. We don’t have enough computer science graduates, for example; there aren’t enough graduates to fill the vacancies available.”

“For people who don’t have those skills, there are still numerous postgraduate courses and diplomas out there that they can do to become more employable.

Graduates are definitely in a much stronger position than people who haven’t got a degree, and they need to work from that basis. There can be a lot of moaning going on at the moment but relatively, graduates are in a good position - they just need refine their CVs and apply for jobs”.

Details of events and workshops run by UCC Careers Service can be found online at http://www.ucc.ie/en/careers/CareerEmployerEvents. For more information, contact careers@ucc.ie

Life on an Ocean Wave Pt.2 Gavin Lynch-Frahill

A sobering 6:30am start was the first taste of term 2 of my Naval Service Cadetship.

‘Early Morning Activities’, despite its funsounding name, was a 3 mile run every morning before breakfast at 7am. That was our most despised drill for this period of training. After an over-indulgent Christmas break, running around in the dark frosty mornings in a singlet and shorts was enough to test any person’s resolve. As we returned from our brief moment of freedom on civie street (what the military calls normal life), we realised that the previous regime of discipline would not change, though we would be granted one or two more liberties this time around.

For the next four months my Cadet Class were being trained in the arts of seamanship, navigation, boat handling, fire fighting, gunnery and even more navigation. While the Curragh Camp tested our physical fitness and team-work, the Naval College on Haulbowline Island was more mentally challenging. Full days of classes were followed by more physical training and then 7-9pm lectures called ‘Dogwatches’, which tested our concentration skills. Unlike the advantages of Boole 4 where you can sleep unnoticed by the lecturing staff, our class had only 10 members and any dozing off was punished by a further sleep depriving 1,000 word essay to be produced the following morning at 8:30am.

I found term 2 to be one of the hardest but also one of the most enjoyable. Our passes to the civilisation of Saturday night in the Brog were dependant on that morning’s inspection of our uniform and accommodation. This involved a Friday night of no sleep and plenty of cleaning, polishing and washing for the inspection. The extent of the cleanliness bordered on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; I was once denied a pass because I forgot to clean dust off the legs of a table. After a while I realised it was all just a big game and getting the pass depended more on your performance during the week than the inspection. Sometimes they just

didn’t leave us out for no reason at all other than just to mess with our heads and see the effects. Cleaning together late into the night with my fellow Cadets only increased the already strong bonds between us; some of the best laughs we had occurred during the messing that went on while cleaning together.

At the end of term 2, I passed my exams and was allowed to go to Lourdes on the military pilgrimage. The Lourdes pilgrimage, as spiritual as it sounds, was the biggest drinking session I have ever been on in MY ENTIRE LIFE!! We went by ferry and bus via Paris and arrived in Lourdes for a 5 day stay. In Lourdes we marched and paraded by day

Aisling (L.E. = Long Eireanach, Irish Ship) for my junior sea term of 3 months. This would be a chance to take what we had learned in the classroom and apply it at sea. During this time I worked in 8 hour shifts: 8 hours on deck helping the seamen, 8 hours on the bridge and in the engine room keeping watch and 8 hours in the bunk. My first real experience of offshore seas was a thrilling and frightening experience. The power of the sea is one of the most impressive forces in the world. The way it can throw such a large ship around like a piece of cork has given me a lasting respect for the elements.

The best fun on ship was trying to sleep. It is like sleeping on a rollercoaster; my bunk was facing across the ship, so when the ship rolled left, I slid down the bed and hit my head off of the headboard.

While at sea I got to see the whole Irish coast, even the ‘occupied’ coast of Northern Ireland as one of the crew called it. I also got to see the English and Belgian coasts on a foreign trip. I met HRH the King of Belgium and got to see Naval Ships from around the world, whilst also exploring the Belgian and English nightlife.

and partied at night. My proudest moment on the trip was being escort to the Irish National Colours during the parade for the remembrance of the dead from all wars. It was a proud feeling to be with the other nations from around the world in parade of colours and to be respected on par with the major powers. It was an eye opening experience to meet our contemporaries from other nations; we shared stories from boot camp, argued over who was the hardest (despite what you might think, the Irish Defence Forces is highly respected around the globe as a military force) and, most importantly of all, shared 1.5 litre beer glasses called formadablés.

After Lourdes I joined the Patrol Vessel L.E.

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After a great three months at sea, we returned to the Naval Base to be made Senior Cadets after one year of service. Our next venture was to the Marine College at the National Maritime College of Ireland to train with the Merchant Navy. After a full year of service, in which most of my school friends had only finished first year in college, I had a job and viewed myself as a servant of the country. Representing one’s country abroad is a feeling that cannot be put into words and can only be understood fully when experienced for yourself. Although I’m not recruiting for the Defence Forces, I would tell anyone who aspires to a role like this to try it and see. Even if it is not for you, you will learn more about yourself than in any other time in your life.

The Art of Nom: Cheap Student Recipes Three-in-One Mince

seem cooked. Each one takes about 15 minutes on the hob to cook, make sure you keep stirring!

Stick on your spaghetti, rice or peeled potatoes around the same as you start and you’ll find that your spaghetti bolognaise or chili con carne is now done! I actually quite like buttered crackers with my chili, but that’s probably just me (crazy foreigner that I am).

Athos Tsiopani While this month’s recipe may not be as impressive as last month’s fajitas recipe, it is far more practical. So practical that it’s more or less three meals in one! Spaghetti bolognaise, chili con carne and cottage pie are made using pretty much the same method/ingredients (the main difference is what form you like your carbohydrates), so they’re all wrapped up nice and neatly for you here. Mincemeat usually comes in portions for two, so all of the recipes are adjusted as such. You can always stick half of your meal in the fridge.

Ingredients Mince meat, An Onion, A clove of Garlic, Oxo cube

Cottage pie has a little extra. When the potatoes are boiled, drain them and add a bit of milk. Not too much, or your dinner will be soggy. The milk is to help it mash and to add a bit of flavour so add a small bit and mash. Need a bit more? Add a bit more. Simple.

Throw your mince into a baking tray and spread your mashed spud on top of that.

Make lines on the top by lightly dragging your fork across it. Throw on loads of grated cheese (‘too much cheese’ is an oxymoron [unless you’re talking about 80s pop music]) and chuck the tray into a preheated oven at about 180C for about 15-20 minutes until the cheese goes crispy.

Sweet Potato and Chorizo Gratin Sam Ryan

For Spaghetti Bolognaise Mushrooms, Tin of tomatoes, Teaspoon of tomato puree , Oregano, Spaghetti For Chili Con Carne Tin of mixed beans, Tin of tomatoes, Teaspoon of tomato puree, Chili powder, Rice (or crackers) For Cottage Pie Peas, A carrot, Gravy granules, Milk, Cheese, Potatoes Method Chuck your mincemeat into a pan and brown it off (ie cook it until it goes completely brown). Dice your onions and garlic and throw them in.

When the onions are slightly brownish, add the oxo cube. This is your moment of choice. If you want to make spaghetti bolognaise, throw in all of the ingredients in the spaghetti section now (with the obvious exception of the spaghetti itself).

If you want to make chili then add those ingredients instead. If you’re looking at cottage pie then stick in the peas and carrots here and add the gravy granules when they

This is unbelievably yum, dirt cheap and (though I’d love to take credit for it) entirely robbed off a man from the telly. Also, try Lidl rather than Tesco for the ingredients; it’ll be way cheaper.

Ingredients 3 potatoes, 1 sweet potato, Enough thinly sliced chorizo to make a layer across the dish, 1 clove garlic , 350ml cream , 200ml milk, Salt and pepper Method Crush the garlic and put it, the milk and the cream into a pot. Bring it to the boil.

Thinly slice the sweet potato and regular ones. You can do this with a sharp knife but it’s better to use the long blade piece on the back of most graters (or a ‘mandolin’ in posh chef talk).

Add both types of potatoes into the boiling milk and cream and add salt and pepper.

Cook this gently until the potatoes are cooked but still hold their shape.

Now get a baking dish and place half the mixture into it (most of the liquid should’ve

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evaporated at this stage, if not just spoon a small bit out).

Now put a layer of chorizo over the spuds and put the rest of the spud mixture on top of that.

Bake that for about 30 minutes on 180C, until it’s golden on top.

Sweet and Spicy Pineapple Chicken Aoife Corcoran This is one of my favourite things to make.

It’s sweet, sticky and generally amazing, especially if you’re looking to impress. It may be easy but it can really give the appearance that you know your way around the kitchen.

Ingredients 2 chicken breasts, Soy sauce, ½ an onion, 1 clove of garlic, , A piece of fresh ginger about the size of your thumb (or 2 teaspoons of the powdered stuff), 1 carrot, 1 small tin of pineapple chunks in juice, 1 tablespoon of chili powder, 3 tablespoons of honey, A handful of frozen peas (or some sugar snap peas if you’re feeling fancy) Method Chop the chicken, put it into a bowl and pour over some soy sauce. If you have the time, cover it and leave it in the fridge for an hour or two. If you don’t, five minutes is fine.

Cook the chicken in a pan with a little bit of oil, once it’s cooked through remove it from the pan and put it aside.

Peel and grate the ginger, crush or chop the garlic, and chop the onion and carrot. Fry them all in the pan for about 10 minutes.

Then add the cooked chicken.

Add the pineapple chunks, about half the juice from the tin and the peas (they can go in frozen) then add the honey, chili powder, a dash more soy sauce and some salt and pepper to taste. Stir and let cook for 5-10 minutes.

Serve over rice or noodles.

If you have any recipes that you’d like to share, send them off to cthlbrennan@ gmail.com

Laura Kennedy talks about returning to UCC as a mature student, and the changes that she has noticed since she left For the past few weeks, the UCC campus has been abuzz with the frenetic energy and youthful exuberance of a few thousand freshers rushing excitedly from Old Bar to New Bar, into the coffee shop and back to the new bar again, squeezing in the occasional lecture here and there when the fancy takes them. There have been uniform parties, UV parties, balls (of the dancing variety, although no doubt a few of the testicular kind made an appearance after a jagerbomb too many!). Ah yes, there’s nothing quite like being a first year.

You’re young, you’ve got brightly coloured backpacks, and after the stress of the leaving cert, something like First Arts will be a breath of fresh air! Spare a thought, however, for the other type of fresher who has joined you through the gates of this illustrious house of learning and whose experience will be a whole lot different from yours…..the mature student. I am writing this in response to my discovery today that I am, in fact a mature student. At first I was shocked and a little pleased that someone actually considered me mature. I don’t, and my mother certainly doesn’t so why should anyone else? Also, I have always considered the mature student to be 40 or more, with an affinity for flowing skirts (or chords if you’re a man), and have all the books bought brand new on the first day of lectures. At least that’s how it was in my day as an undergraduate. And there it is.

With the use of a simple phrase like “in my day” it’s confirmed: I’m a mature student.

Well, I’m not a mature student in the technical sense of the word. I graduated five years ago from UCC, an arts graduate poised to take on the big bad world of work and whatever else came my way.

It turns out that big ol’ bad world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. So after five years in the professional wilderness I decided to head back to my old alma mater to do an MA. It’s a student’s life for me! So this

September I joined the rest of the student body on the first day with just as many hopes and expectations. I was shocked, however, to find that my expectations were about 6 years old as I now entered a very different university to the one I had left in 2006. The structure is still the same, with the exception of the library (I am admitting in print that it took me a week to pluck up the courage to actually enter the library and then promptly get lost once inside).

No, the biggest change that struck me was the fact that I’m no longer 18. Now, at 27, I’m not exactly a pensioner. Yet I couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated by the swarms of 18 and 19 year olds (they travel in packs you know) that seem to dominate every inch of the campus. At first it didn’t bother me. I’m only a few years older after all. I’m practically one of them! After a few days and a few classes, however, I began to notice subtle differences. They’re all a lot firmer than me for a start (now I know why the older mature student wears a flowing skirt…to avoid bum envy!!). They seem to know everyone! I suppose this makes sense as a lot of them came from surrounding schools and areas and many knew each other before UCC. Common sense aside though, I couldn’t help feeling like I was on the edge of things. I could have sworn that it wasn’t like this the first time around. But the worst thing was feeling a bit lost in my classes. I was fortunate enough to graduate with a fairly decent grade a few years ago and so returned to study with the confidence that I’d slip back into my old study habits within a matter of days. I was now finding it increasingly more difficult to focus and, at times, to keep up. The final nail in my credibility coffin came when I found myself asking question after question in class, much to the annoyance of everyone…including the lecturer I’m sure. It was then that the truth hit home: I’m a mature student!

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Things have thankfully become a lot easier for me, but it got me thinking about the mature students who are embarking on their first academic experience. For many mature students, this will be their first time in the classroom or lecture hall for a number of years. Many of them will not have been to college before. Due to the present economic situation, more and more of our older population have turned to higher education to upskill and gain qualifications for some sort of footing in an increasingly shrinking jobs market. For me, returning to education after 5 years of full time work took some adjusting to. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for someone who has worked for the best part of 10 or 15 years to now find themselves in a lecture theatre surrounded by hundreds of adolescents. It’s daunting. The traditional freshers have had the advantage of coming straight from an exam year and are used to studying, taking notes and following classes. For many a mature student, they’re out of practice with this kind of environment. It’s a huge adjustment. I don’t think mature students come with the same care-free confidence. There is a lot more at stake, especially if you have left a job to study full time. So, we ask many, many questions because we want to make sure we miss nothing, not to torment our fellow classmates. We attend every lecture because we genuinely want to do well and really do like the subject. And, possibly most importantly, we have actually been in the real world and know how tough it can be.

To have the opportunity to return to study is a second chance at our youth, as well as a means of opening doors to our future. So spare a thought for the mature student in your class. We’re all only 18 in our minds anyway….although feel free to advise us on alternative skirt-wear please!!

Image credit: Julia Healy

Un-Cork your mind for great experiences I If youj are a new comer to Cork the place (and its people) can be pretty intimidating at first, I have come up with a few places that will help you know the place better.

When I started here last year, I was pretty nervous. I don’t conceal that fact at all.

There were so many people everywhere, and so many new faces. It was a bit overwhelming at times. One day, after a particularly stressful afternoon, I wandered into the city for myself. Even though I didn’t know it at the time, this was a fantastic decision. Not only was I able to delve into the culture of the area, but I found some places that I still visit regularly. In fact, I have even brought guests to these places.

Cork has become my home, even though those in my hometown of Killarney might be furious with me for saying so!

The first intriguing fixture of the Corkonian landscape is one that I only discovered recently. It is the Red Abbey, just behind South Terrace. This is a tower surviving from the fourteenth century that is completely out of place in its specific location. But that is what makes it so memorable. Situated in a more traditional part of the city, it stands proudly in front of a stone courtyard. If you don’t know where it is, don’t fret. Just stroll along the route of the city walking tour - you’ll find it soon enough! And believe me, it’s worth the walk. Not only can you see a piece of history, but along the way you’ll have splendid views of the River Lee. Especially beautiful on a sunny day (although you might grow old waiting for one!).

Fabled for the visit of British monarch Queen Elizabeth II, the English market is definitely worth checking out. It is a paradise for culinary lovers. It contains stacks of locally produced food and bargains, and a lengthy history going back as far as 1788. Take a wander through it early in the morning, if possible. If you are like me, and love anything unusual, then you’ll lose all track of time - and money! However, it is a must for students: great quality products for brilliant prices.

Packed with everything from olive stores, to oriental food ingredients to freshly baked bread; there is something to whet everyone’s appetite.

One slightly hidden gem in the city that a lot of people don’t know about is the Vision Centre. Located in St Peter’s Church on North Main Street, this hosts a fascinating miniature version of Cork city as well as different local art pieces.

The model city is created to the scale of 1:500 and there are morning guided trips through the living city. This is the only one of its kind in Ireland, and definitely worth a visit.

Even though the city feels like home, it’s nice to take a day trip every once in a while. Be it to the shore or wildlife parks, or whatever takes your fancy. Due to being a Titanic fanatic, Cobh was the place that stood

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Peter Neville

out for me. Situated only twenty five minutes from Cork with a regular train service, Cobh is the gateway to Ireland from the Atlantic ocean. When the Titanic set sail in 1912, Cobh was its last stop; the sense of poignancy and wonder is certainly palpable here. People had never seen something of that size and design, and it would be the last time that they would ever see it. Overlooking the town and the sea is St Colman’s Cathedral, a large, gothic and rather spooky looking building, suspended as if looking down on the departing boats. Although, a long and steep climb, it provides breath-taking views of the waters below. And, out in the water, is Spike Island: Ireland’s version of Alcatraz prison. The prison, used in the Irish war of independence, will soon be a major tourist attraction.

Cork, without any doubt, is an unusual place. But it is the fascinating differences to other cities which make it stand out as a marvel. When I came to UCC last year, I hadn’t been in Cork for years and hadn’t even viewed the university. As you can imagine, no place felt further from home than the small and quaint city. But only a year on, I can’t imagine being anywhere else. Cork will induce you into society through a spectrum of wonderful things.

College life holds many things for me: friends, enjoyment, experience, and great memories. Have a great year!

Finding the Stars with UCC’s Film Society Motley Deputy Features Editor Athos Tsiopani sits down with UCC Film Society’s Lorna Buttimer (Auditor) and Jonathan Twomey (Productions Officer) to discuss the society’s plans for the year.

Athos: How was societies day for you guys?

Jonny: I thought it was fantastic, we got a great reaction from people. I knew we would do really well this year, especially after we got the award for most improved society last year.

Lorna: I think for me, because I’ve been here since the Film Soc started again, it’s kind of fun to see how it’s gone from nothing to having queues of people lining up to join. In past years, only a few people would sign up because we had a really shitty stand and we were like “we’re going to do this, we’re going to get a camera”. Now we actually have everything and we can go straight into it. It was cool and we had four hundred signatures so thumbs up!

Athos: Great. Now, you’ve got loads of things on this year, I’d first like to talk about productions.

Jonny: The Film Soc will be producing several short films this year, two per semester. If people have any scripts then they can send them into uccfilmproductions@gmail.com.

We need to get scripts in, we’ve got three in already so it’s really promising to see.

Our submission date is the 21st of October.

Athos: How will the submissions work?

Jonny: You send in the scripts and we’ll discuss them with the committee members, deliberate about which ones we want to see filmed, and then talk to the directors. We have submission sheets and they’ll be on our website, www.film.uccsocieties. ie. Also on the site is a script format, so if you’re a budding screenwriter and you’re not entirely sure how to write a script then there’ll be tips and hints on there as well.

Lorna: There are two submission dates this year, one in each semester. People have to submit before the 21st of this month, otherwise their submissions are counted for after Christmas. That submission date is the 13th of January. It’s really got to be laid out properly though, check the website for tips. Then after all of the deliberation with the directors and crew, applicants will be given a specific date which they have

Lorna: We have a few workshops in the semester. First of all, people can sign up to our workshops by e-mailing film@uccsocieties.ie. We hope to have scripting workshops, the dates haven’t yet been finalised.

We’ll post the details on Facebook as soon as we get them sorted.

Jonny: Lighting workshops are being arranged but the dates of that are also to be confirmed. There’ll be an e-mail sent out as well to those on our mailing list.

Lorna: On the 10th of October, we’re doing a make-up workshop with Dramat which is going to be really cool.

Athos: Oooh. Girls pay attention.

[Athos and Jonny laugh] Lorna: Not that kind of make-up! It’ll be teaching how to do cuts…

to be finished by. They have to be finished their production, edited, scored and have everything done by the first week in December and then we’re going to have a big screening where we show everything that we’ve made – Jonny: Like a gala night – Lorna: Yeah, a big gala night and we’ll get local newspapers in so there’ll be a lot of press. We’ll go party…

Athos: And we’ll all get drunk!

Lorna: And have a really good time!

Athos: Okay, if I can just go on to our next point. For those who want to learn about production and the processes of film, are you guys running workshops? What kind of workshops do you have planned?

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Athos: That was a bit sexist. Sorry girls!

Lorna: Lots of bruises, how to make zombies, things like that. It’ll be really good!

There’s no charge so people may as well come along. Then we’re doing like a general training workshop at the Cork film centre.

Jonny: That’s going to be split into two groups. Workshop A will be on the 11th and 12th of October, Workshop B on the 24th and 25th. It’s going to be geared towards camera training, which should be really handy. It’s €15 per workshop. Unfortunately they’re both full at the moment but anyone who wants to sign up can e-mail us and we’ll put them on a waiting list in case someone drops out.

Athos: Grand. The next thing I would like to talk about is this “Network” project I’ve been hearing about. What is it, when will it be up and running?

Lorna: Tuesdays at 7:00, Boole 3.

Jonny: We’re having a mystery tour sometime in the new year.

We’re going to London as well, so keep an eye on facebook for the details. I’m looking forward to it. I think we’re going to be an up-and-coming society this year. A big society this year, hopefully.

Lorna: Don’t big us up!

Jonny: We’re going to be a good enough society…satisfactory…

Lorna: We will be adequately… brilliant. That’s what you can write.

Jonny: It’ll be satisfactory this year.

Lorna: Oh the Network…

Lorna: It’ll be satisfactory and I may even pass my degree! Fingers crossed!

Athos: ‘Cause the Network is your baby isn’t it Lorna?

Lorna: The Network is a thing that’s taking quite a while to get off the ground but it’s getting there slowly but surely. Basically what we want to do is set up a regular TV show or ‘webisode’ as it’s called.

Image credit: Emmet Curtin

Poetry

Jonny: Like blogging.

Lorna: Yeah. We did webisodes last year with Rory McConville and his series ‘You Can’t Be Serious’.

Jonny: It’s like UCC TV basically.

Lorna: Basically. We’re going to go around filming. See what’s going on on-campus, doing vox-pops, doing sketches and that thing. We have two guys working on it full-time, Daniel Waugh and Neil O’Rourke.

We’re going to take our time kind of getting things filmed and making things. If anybody is interested in helping then they can e-mail the society. There will be an episode out the end of October/ beginning of November. Lads are going to take a month to film.

Athos: Cool. Last year you guys put on a load of movie screenings. Are they continuing this year?

Lorna: Yes! Our screenings will be continuing, we’ll be showing loads of cult films… eating lots of pizza, drinking lots of…I don’t know can you put that in?

Jonny: Don’t think so.

Lorna: Drinking lots of…coffee.

Athos: Yeah, coffee. When are your screenings?

Corner

Cobwebs of Disquiet

A sombre mellow, jaundiced night, Shrouds of darkness lost its light.

Candour vanquished obselete gloom ‘Tis a fragranced eve Beneath new moon.

Strangers linger, men obscure Shallow knocks on tomorrow’s door.

My thoughts deepen, miss-matched, unsure, I’m always in this twilight ,alone ,insecure.

The shadows deepen with vast aplomb Entering bluesome, noiseless doom.

For night for comes, on angel’s wing, A symphony of preludes, Alone I sing.

Laura Marie Whelton is a first year Arts student. Her poem, “I never saw a love as true...”, was published in Inclement Magazine last Autumn. This is the second time that her work has been published.

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Fashion Fashion

Fashion Week Comes To Cork

Kieran Murphy reviews the Cork Fashion week show at the Triskel Theater.

Fashion Weeks are the staple events of any ‘fashionista’s’ schedule. Institutions of style that were cemented in 1943 with New York Fashion Week and since then countless cities acrossthe world have followed suit including our fair Cork. ‘Cork Fashion Week’ was started in 2008 by Emer O’Sullivan and Vivienne Kelly from Lockdown Model Management to show off Irish designers’ talent and help promote local Cork businesses with the events growing bigger every year.

This year’s events have gotten even bigger with the launch party held in the Blue Haven hotel in Kinsale and hosted by Irish socialite Georgia Salpa and former Miss World Rosanna Davidson. However the penultimate event of the year was the Fashion Show and designers battling it out for the ‘CFW Designer of the Year’ and the ‘CFW Best Newcomer’ in the amazing setting of Christchurch at the Triskel centre.

The evening started with a drinks reception and a dessert table but soon launched into the Boutique Fashion Show which showed off the Autumn/Winter collections of many local stores. One of the definite standout Boutiques was Moda of Mallow they presented a mix of high street labels such as French Connection and Avoca mixed with their new vintage stock. The online boutique Elsa and Gogo was definitely the highlight of the Boutique Show with their original 1950’s pieces and gorgeous white chiffon dress.

The competition was judged by UCC’s Next Top Model photographer Miki Barlok, Irish Designer Heidi Higgins, Stylebible.ie editor Liz Greehy and C104 presenter Martina O’Donoghue. All the judges said they were looking for a cohesive and interesting collection and they certainly found that with the ‘CFW Best Newcomer’ winner Grainne O’Connor. Grainne is a primary school teacher who studies in her spare time at the Mallow College of Design andTailoring. Her collection was based on the Florence and The Machine Song “Cosmic Love” she tried to capture the mythical themes and feelings evoked by the song. The ‘CFW Designer of the Year’ award was won by Alice Halliday, a designer who studied in England but is now based in Cork. Her collection, ‘Tea with Tamara’ definitely rose above her competitors and not just for the chandelier on one of her model’s heads. Alice’s impeccable skills and her strong story throughout her collection is what won her the crown. Each winning designer won a piece of jewellery from Azure Jewellery with Alice also showing her collection again at a show in Opera Lane.

While the show was not friendly to the average student budget (the tickets were 25e) and some of the collections may not inspire every fashion savvy viewer it is a new and exciting addition to Irelands Fashion calendar. The week has done a lot to promote local business and designers through the week’s events such as the show above, the “mad men inspired vintage affair “and free opera lane show. Cork Fashion Week has ultimately given local business and designer’s invaluable exposure and promotes Cork as a fashion capital.

Images by Margret Urbanowicz.

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Figureheads in Fashion

Blau Von T explores and reflects upon the world of fashion in Cork. She celebrates the women who are in front of and behind the scenes of Cork fashion today.

Emer O’Sullivan; Director of Lockdown Models In their 5 years at the helm of Lockdown Models, they have established Cork Fashion Week, providing a platform for local fashion design students, graduates, hair stylists, fashion stylists, makeup artists, fashion bloggers etc. Lockdown not only now represent some of the most well known faces in Ireland but the agency also boast successful high end faces, Lockdown Models also represent the winner of UCC’s Next Top Model each year. http://www.lockdown.ie/

How would you rate fashion in Cork? Fashion in Cork has grown so rapidly in the past few years. What we always we had was the talent and creative imagination but through the introduction of newer bigger media outlets it has just accelerated the coverage and exposure of these geniuses!

How big a role do you think Cork has in the overall Irish fashion scene? Cork is creeping up slowly but surely in the fashion stakes.

We’ve always been a creative county renowned for acting, music, poetry and the arts (we weren’t capital of culture for nothing!) so it’s a natural progression we are starting to churn out incredible talent in the fashion industry.

What can we expect from you in the coming months? I’ve had a stellar year so far between winning a Fashion award, a stint on “Off the Rails” and being asked to be Chief make up artist for Cork Fashion Week. With only a few months left I have a few more shoots to be featured in reputable publications and a stint working in New York, as part of the Irish team at the Wella Trend Vision awards 2011.

How did you first enter the fashion world and what has made you stay? Did you find it difficult to ‘break into’ fashion in Cork? Vivienne and I began modelling 15 years ago and worked our way up to open our own agency. Yes, there was absolutely NO fashion scene in Cork in the 90s so we found it so hard to start our little fashion movement - this has really only come about in the past 5 years - 10 years after working our way up & not giving up.

How big a role do you think Cork has in the overall Irish fashion scene? I believe nothing was taken seriously unless it was Dublin based for so long. But CFW has changed that and will work hard through national media to evolve those thoughts with people nationally. New York isn’t the capital of the USA - and they host the countries Fashion Week. Cork is the same.

What can we expect from you in the coming months? Lots more collaborations with established and up and coming people in the fashion industry through events & shows.

Kellie Forde; Model Kellie was scouted at only 15 years of age and has gone onto model internationally, appear on TV and model in fashion weeks. Proving her determination and drive she attended fashion design night classes during her final years of secondary school before studying design full time. She was also crowned Face of Cork 2010 and now works as a floor controller for Topshop.

Cathy O Donoghue; Owner of Turquoise Flamingo Turquoise Flamingo is a vintage clothes and accessories store for men and women located on Washington St.,Cork .Whether you›re a thrift queen, style junkie or you just want to get your hands on that perfect piece Cathy has sourced it for you.

How did you first enter the fashion world and what has made you stay? I first started modelling at the age of 15 when Emer from Lockdown models discovered me at a funfair. I stayed because luckily the fashion scene in Cork is humble and unspoiled which is so rare to find these days. I do what I do because I›m a creative soul and I get to work and mingle with like minded people.

http://www.turquoiseflamingo.com/ How did you first enter the fashion world and what has made you stay? Did you find it difficult to ‘break into’ fashion in Cork? I only properly entered the fashion world two years when I set up my vintage clothing website, after many years of being a vintage addict! I did find it difficult to ‹break into› fashion in Cork in terms of making my business a success, at the start with the website and then with opening a store in the city centre but Turquoise Flamingo is really starting to find its feet now.

How would you rate fashion in Cork? Cork doesn›t get enough praise when it comes to the fashion stakes. I work in retail myself, I model and I›ve been to two fashion colleges here in Cork, where I›ve met so many talented and creative people in different sides of the industry. I really get pumped up for CFW every year because it gives these people the chance to show off what they got and SHINE! What can we expect from you in the coming months? A few exciting plans in the pipeline I’m going to be doing alot more styling and writing my own fashion column for a new Cork magazine which will be released later this month! This is something I’m new too so I’m quite nervous but I’m eager to take on the challenge and venture into something new that I’ve always been keen on.

How would you rate fashion in Cork? Cork is quite bohemian in terms of fashion and I really think we have put our own stamp on it.

What can we expect from you in the coming months? Lots! The store has two very exciting projects in the pipeline. One is a vintage bridal section which is nearly completed and the other project is top secret for now but I promise, it›s going to be good!

Kate Noonan; Makeup Artist Kate Noonan started her make-up career over 10 years ago when she worked with MAC Cosmetics in Cork.She trained and worked with MAC for over 3 years gaining immeasurable experience and building up a huge client base. She has recently won the title of “Ireland’s most influential makeup artist 2011ὸ. She specialises in Fashion, Photographic, Bridal and Occasion make-up and she can be contacted on 087 9446295 or throughwww.katenoonanmakeup.com

Cathy Jackson; Fashion designer Cathy graduated from the Limerick School of Art and Design with a BA in Fashion Design in 2004.

During her time spent studying she worked as an intern for Luella Bartley, on Luella’s Spring/Summer collection. It was here where she was inspired by her love of mix and match street fashion with a feminine twist and this trend continues in her work today. cathyjackson@eircom.net http://www.cathy-jackson.com/

How did you first enter the fashion world and what has made you stay? Did you find it difficult to ‹break into› fashion in Cork? I broke into the fashion industry almost accidentally. When I discovered that a career in Business with marketing just wasn’t for me, a part time job in cosmetics led me to discovering I wasn’t half bad at makeup. It’s then thanks to the support of people like Lockdown and Miki Barlok that have encouraged me to stay.

How do you first enter the fashion world and what has made you stay? Did you find it difficult to ‘break into’ fashion in Cork? Entering the fashion world started when I did a degree in the Limerick School or Art and design studying fashion – I was hooked from day one. It was the long hours with no sleep, the hustle and bustle, the creativity, the people – I fell in love with everything back then – little has changed and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else today. .

How big a role do you think Cork has in the overall Irish fashion

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scene? The amount of creative and talented people now in Cork is bigger than ever – we’ve always been the home of some great talents but with social media now connecting people quicker than ever more like minded people are collaborating and getting involved together..

What can we expect from you in the coming months? Busy busy busy - A new website, launching a new bag and accessories range as well as starting the next collection!

ing months we have a little salon revamp happening and we also have our fall assembly where we translate Cork, London, New York and Milan fashion week trends in the salon and make them our own with our clients. We will also be featured in numerous glossy mags in the coming months and we›re going to be spending a lot of October and November in London and New York training with Bumble and Bumble.

Sarah Waldron; Fashion writer Sarah Waldron is the creator of The Licentiate and a fashion columnist for The Cork Independent.The Licentiate is about being smart and liking fashion and showing that the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive or a source of snobbery. http://www.thelicentiate.com/

Pamela Morrissey; Hair stylist and owner of Sobe Brown Pamela Morrissey is the driving force behind “ Sobe Brown“ in Island House, Morrison’s Quay, Cork. She opened her dream salon to pursue her own ideas on hairstyling and to provide customers with a luxury salon experience. She brings with her twelve years experience in the industry and an impressive pedigree of work from magazines like “New Woman” and “Time Out NY” to TV shows such as” Saturday Night Live” . She continues in this vein in Cork working closely with fashion magazines, modelling agencies and photographers in the city and won Network Ireland›s Businesswomen of the Year 2010.

How do you first enter the fashion world and what has made you stay? Did you find it difficult to ‘break into’ fashion in Cork? I didn›t so much break into fashion as stumble into it. I was writing a column on the recession for The Cork Independent and started a fashion blog on the side, which somehow mutated into another column, which led to writing for RTE›s Two Tube, which led to other exciting things. It›s all a chain reaction. If you want to break into anything, you have to work hard, but it helps that people in the fashion industry in Cork are exceptionally friendly.

How would you rate fashion in Cork? The industry is thriving, which is surprising when you look at all the other industries in the country. Since moving to Cork in 2006, I›ve noticed a tightening up in street-style looks - either through liberation or more choice, people are refining their personal style a lot more. Creativity is on the up.

How big a role do you think Cork has in the overall Irish fashion scene? At the moment, we’re pretty self-sufficient, but also isolated. It’s a shame that fashion has to conform to the model of a fashion capital. We’re second to Dublin in size, but fairly equal in scope and creative outlook.

What can we expect from you in the coming months? To keep going onwards and upwards.

How would you rate fashion in Cork? Fashion in Cork is great and the people involved in fashion really do it with ease and individuality and that›s the key, take influence from the people at the heart of it but also express yourself. Fashion is like art its in the eye of the beholder but you must own your own swagger to really wear an outfit and have a bit of faith in yourself its what makes you interesting.

How big a role do you think Cork has in the overall Irish fashion scene? We›re a mix of town and city and we do fashion remarkably well. We never try too hard we don›t really care too much about what other people. Think I would describe Cork as beautifully trendy, we take what we want from other influences and make it our own.

What can we expect from you in the coming months? In the com-

In this issue...

Sarah Commane

...we set to explore and reflect upon the world of fashion here in Cork blogger Blau Von T explains: “Firstly ‘fashion’ itself is a broad term that incorporates every aspect from makeup artist to store owner, from designer to fashion writer. One thing I have come to learn in my two years of fashion blogging is that there’s a huge amount of energy and unseen work that goes into any photo shoot or catwalk show. So I have seized this opportunity to pay homage to those dedicated followers of fashion in Cork and attempt to look at fashion from different angles. The people featured today, be they Cork born or Cork based, are just some of the talented creative people involved in the Cork fashion scene”.

This issue we have aimed to echo Blau Von T’s sentiments on Cork fashion and showcase what exactly Cork offers from the handmade to the high street.

This photo shoot is a style portrait of a cork girl who uses the Fashion resources Cork has offered her to reinvent her wardrobe; she is not afraid to D.I.Y, share and swap with her friends and raid the vintage stores in the city.

Photography and Direction: Julia Healy Fashion: Sarah Commane Model: Masquerade Mystery Mistress.

Look 1: Everything stylists own or borrowed from friends.

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Look 2: All stylists own but Jumper Dyed from original colour (cream to pink via vibes and scribes)

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Look 4: Trousers and Cultch, Mercury goes retrograde, everything else,

Look 3: Everything Stylists own or borrowed from friends

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Look 5: Jacket, Turquoise Flamingo, “Totes” necklace, Lil Red’s Boutique, everything else stylists own clothes.

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Lil Red’s Boutique Fashion Editor Sarah Commane explores the retro world of Lil Red’s boutique, a Cork based Jewellery brand that aims to bring a smile to your face and add a fun edge to any outfit.

“If the 8-bit graphic games of the eighties held a special place in your heart, let them now hold a special place in your jewellery collection. Rekindling a deep and fond love for Lego, Lil Red’s Boutique has transformed the simple Lego brick into pieces of retro wearable art. Let the Retro Geek within you shine, with a quirky piece of 80’s culture!”

St. Nicola is a self proclaimed accessories girl with an incredible eye for pop culture classics than can be transformed into modern wearable art. Nicola herself embodies the essence of the brand, she transforms simple stylish clothing into an unforgettable statement look by adding one of her signature pieces such as a Lego brooch/ring/ earrings or scrabble necklace to name but

Ladies and Gentlemen above is the business statement of this quirky, accessible and affordable brand, it is a business born from creative Director Nicola Collin’s boredom with traditional jewellery Lil Red’s began last February on her living room floor. Nicola surrounded by a pile of Lego bricks started make Lego versions of everyone’s favourite 80’s characters and has since seen Lil Red’s grow into a successful business. She started with a Facebook shop and has grown to include stockists such as art Galleries and Turquoise Flamingo on Washington

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a few of her designs. The range of pieces that Nicola has created is testament to her willingness to accommodate her customer’s individual style. Her scrabble pieces are especially popular with people looking for a unique accessory she has made necklaces using the words tweet, totes and gimp and many more besides she assures me that no request is too small or big and she will do her upmost to accommodate everyone’s requests. One of her recent customisations was a pair of Imperial insignia cuff links so Lil Red’s really has something for everyone.

Lil Red’s Boutique has inspired Nicola to

swap her BA for an art, craft and design course in St John s College and leave her UCC days to one side. She is very quick to mention the support she has received from Tralee art group Babytag, Babytag provided her with a platform to exhibit and sell her work. She was also encouraged by the group to take the leap into the art course; it is obvious that she found this encouragement invaluable from help with her portfolio to facebook comments with encouragement and congratulations.

Her online store has grown substantially since its creation and it is simply down to a great product, Nicola’s creative spirit and entrepreneurial drive she has recently expanded her business and has been selling her designs in galleries in Tralee and Kinsale

and in Corks very own Turquoise Flamingo.

Cathy o’ Donoghue the owner of Turquoise Flamingo, she is incredibly supportive of Local designers and stocks many different collections. Through collaborations such as these Nicola has seen her business grow and take off. This is a realisation of a dream for Nicola and I can see from talking to her she is so grateful and simply ecstatic with the success of Lil Red’s Boutique.

When I ask her where she sees Lil Red’s going in the next few years she tells me of her long term dream of having her own premises stocked full of her jewellery and other accessories. I can’t wait to see this dream realised and am looking forward to spend my life savings in this retro wonderland that will have every big kid lining up to snap up her stock.

Lil Red’s Boutique is truly a unique artisan brand that provides unique and affordable handmade jewellery.

Lil Red’s Boutique can be found on facebook and is stocked in Turquoise flamingo on Washington st. and the Peacock

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Gallery in Kinsale or contact Nicola directly: lilredsboutique@gmail.com Images via Lil Red’s Boutique on facebook.

The Fashion Portfolio Deputy Fashion Editor Aisling Fitzpatrick has trawled through Corks fashion hotspots, to inform you lucky Motley readers on Cork’s best kept sartorial secrets.

Turquoise Flamingo

for their legendary free parties.

4 Washington Street

www.prime-time.ie

The Kooples

Located ten minutes walk from campus, Turquoise Flamingo is the place for vintage lovers in Cork city. Cathy stocks a large range of men’s and women’s clothes and accessories from the 1950s to the 1980s each with an eclectic feel, and is the perfect place to hang out for an hour or two between lectures. The store regularly stocks some outstanding designer vintage finds from the likes of Lanvin, Chloe and Valentino, as well as quirky jewellery form Lil Red’s Boutique. Check out the amazing beige striped blazer featured in our fashion story, which goes for only 28 quid. An extra special store, this one’s definitely worth a look!

Brown Thomas, Patrick Street The fashion insider’s favourite, Savile Row meets rock as French label The Kooples arrives in Brown Thomas. Combining traditional tailoring with a modern, urban style, The Kooples is the right balance of the elegant Parisian with a twist of British dandy. Expect to pay high prices to achieve this signature androgynous feel, but for a look that’s spectacularly chic it’s most definitely worth it.

Salingers 14B French Church Street This new store has just opened its doors and has already attracted a large following. The only menswear boutique of its kind in Cork,

Primetime 8 & 9 Washington Street Established in 1992, Primetime Clothing has evolved with Cork’s youth culture, and become a major advocate of the local music scene by supporting and sponsoring various club nights. Currently stocking over thirty brands such as Vans, DC and Fenchurch, the stores relaxed vibe and friendly staff ensure a laidback shopping experience. Look out

3 Careys Lane

Market Parade, Patrick Street

The Dressing Room

Miss Daisy Blue specialises in carefully selected, and lovingly restored vintage clothing and accessories. With an emphasis on quality as well as style, stock ranges across every decade, meaning theirs a style to suit everyone. Regularly showcased in fashion shows around Cork, and most recently featured in CFW, this is the ultimate shop for any vintage lover after a truly spectacular find.

4 Emmet Place This boutique stocks one of the best selections of dresses in Cork. Ideal for any graduation ceremony, the Dressing Room stocks original designs and provides great customer service. Look out for their sales, where you can find stylish bargains at phenomenal prices.

Chambers Stitch or Switch Chambers Bar, Washington Street

19 Opera Lane

Salingers stocks premium exclusive labels and made-to-measure formal wear. Owners Mike Gibson and Christofer Caprelian modelled the store on fictional character Arthur Salinger, a 1930s playboy turned tailor; the result akin to a gentlemen’s club, with solid fashion advice thrown in.

Fellini Tearoom

Miss Daisy Blue

Kuyichi

www.gap.eu

I am not exaggerating readers, when I say one can lose hours from their day by wandering through the doors of Fellini.

This hidden café is literally heaving with vintage delights, from handbags to amazing costume jewellery and adorable tea sets.

Soak up the 1940s vibe with one of their delicious cakes.

www.thekooples.com

www.turquoiseflamingo.com

naysayers simply need to try a pair of the brands legendary jeans and I can guarantee they’ll be hooked. The 1969 Denim Collection features everything from skinny coloured cords, to indigo flares. What do they have in common? A quality fit and reasonable prices.

A store which undeservedly receives probably the least amount of footfall on Opera Lane, Kuyichi is an innovative denim brand which combines contemporary styling with an ethical conscience. The store manages to evoke a laid back, Acneesque feel at reasonable prices. Their Roxy High Rise Slim jean is a particular favourite, ideal paired with a battered oversized shirt.

Even better, stocking Fair Trade produce means there’s no reason to feel guilty after a splurge. www.kuyichi.com

Gap Unit 2, Opera Lane This high street giant which opened its doors in Cork in 2009 is often over looked by the female student generation. However

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At Stitch or Switch, customers are invited to clear out their closets and bring in their unwanted clothes, jewellery and accessories in exchange for credit or cash.

An afternoons hunting at Chambers is a must with hidden gems and designer pieces available at a portion of their original cost.

Perfect for any cash strapped student looking to create a completely unique look.

Amity French Church Street Cork and Clonakility Located in the Hugenot district, Amity’s Tina and Hazel are dedicated to exclusively stocking 30 independent designers from all over the world. Their unique collection of affordable, vintage inspired clothing has already attracted a large devoted following, and with only 8-10 of each item in stock, you can be sure to stand out from the crowd.

Turquoise Flamingo

Miss Daisy Blue

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Taken by Miranda van der Ende For a chance to see your photo here, send your best work to editor@motley.ie

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