2 minute read
Set Your Mind Free
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::vLA VIDA SET YOUR MIND free
By Andrea Ashcraft
If you’ve adopted an accusatory mindset lately, such as presenting evidence of every mistake you’ve made and prosecuting yourself daily for not measuring up to self-imposed unrealistic standards, here are two tips for setting yourself free:
1. Ask yourself, “What are the facts?”
• If you find yourself spinning a web of assumptions of what other people think or say about you following a situation in which you didn’t put your best foot forward, catch yourself mid-spin and grab a piece of paper or a post-it note. • Then, write out what you know for sure: what took place, what you said, and what the other person said in the moment and/or following the incident. • Once you move from your head to paper and assess what is true, you can take action based on facts rather than assumptions.
2.Replace “should” with “will”
• When you’ve made a mistake or missed an opportunity, it’s easy to lock yourself in a prison of self-pity and dwell on what you “should have” said or done. • But the situation is over. Now the best course of action is repair and reform. • What will you change as a result of what occurred? What new perspective or behaviors will you adopt? What will you do to repair any damage to the relationship? How will you hold yourself accountable not to make the same mistake or miss a similar opportunity in the future?
Assumptions fan the flames of fear in our minds, burning up our energy and smoking out rational thoughts. When anxiety and fear make you feel trapped at the top of a burning building in your mind, facts provide the safety ladder to freedom.
Since how we treat ourselves impacts how we treat others, it’s likely your “I should have” will begin to morph into “they should have.” As soon as you notice that you’re being overly
As soon as you critical of yourself and others, flip the switch from notice that you’re being overly critical of yourself what could have been to what will be. Focus on what’s within your control, and take steps to mend your relationships and move closer to your goals. This is the key and others, flip to unlocking both your prison cell and the the switch from cell that you’ve held others captive in by what could have wishing they would behave differently been to what than they do. will be. Wishing you some incredible, freedom-filled months ahead!
About the Author
Andrea Ashcraft is a conflict resolution expert. As a speaker and trainer, she helps others create mindset shifts, develop new habits, and live “Sunny Soul Up” to pursue their purpose no matter what life throws their way.
