Reflections from a Photo By Kelsey Cichoski There’s a photo of my husband and I that comes across my phone’s suggested photo section somewhat frequently. It was only taken a few years ago, but we both seem to look much younger then. Every time it comes across the screen of my phone my husband says, “Now there’s a couple that thought they were at the end of their struggles.” I chuckle, but then acknowledge that it’s true. We had foster kids in our home at the time this picture was taken, and I wanted them to have some nice photos of them together during this time. We had also recently lost our first baby unexpectedly. I had felt an importance of capturing this time when everything seemed to feel so raw and tender. On this day, I smiled as the boys giggled and posed as their pictures were taken. I was happy to get a few pictures of my husband and I together as well. I wondered if people would be able to tell I had recently been pregnant when the picture was taken. Would it be possible to tell that my necklace said “Always” on it? If so, would anyone realize it was in honor of our baby boy? How I wished he could have been in those pictures with us. In some ways my husband was right. We had just been through such a hard experience. Why would we think that more hard things would be coming our way? Our baby wasn’t with us. The grief was heavy. We were full of pain and felt completely broken. We thought we had made it to the end of our hard times. When I look at that familiar photo, I think of the timeline in my mind. I say to myself, “That was right after my baby died, and right before my cancer diagnosis.” I hardly recognize who I see there. So much has happened since then. Time stands still as I let my mind wander for a few minutes looking at that
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