Raising the Future By Holly Ruskin I have a t-shirt and it says, ‘Raising the Future’. It came with a card with the same slogan and the day it arrived I slotted it into the full-length mirror in our bedroom. Every day when I get dressed, usually while my daughter clings to my legs or demands to be involved somehow, my eyes skim over that card. Sometimes I read it word for word, and I remember what it means, but more often than not there’s no time for it to embed itself in my conscious mind. Some seasons of motherhood are tougher than others and, in the same way, some days are like their own selfcontained storm. No time for anything as luxurious as reading and really seeing what’s in front of you. But I do see those words and I remember what they mean. Because when you’re a cycle breaker and a mother, every day is a reminder of your work. Each time I respond with grace, reach out with love and resist my triggers, I feel it like a nudge to my back. A gentle prod as though saying to myself “that’s it, gently does it”. I am 37 years old and a woman who is reeling from only now really seeing her childhood and all its trauma. I’m doing the reading, journaling, breathwork and self-care in small doses. It has to fit around all the other things I’m doing and honestly, right now it often has to slot in alongside my pain. Fear, exhaustion, guilt. As a mother, my life is a patchwork of emotions and I feel heavier than ever before. There’s the weight of responsibility now and it’s not just about making sure my daughter is okay. It’s about looking after myself too. Healing the wounds and stopping the trauma in its tracks. Future proofing for the children my daughter may or may not decide to bring into this world. That’s what cycle-breaking really is; bearing the burden of creating a kinder, more open and accepting future for more than just yourself or your own immediate family. This work is for everyone. So even though I know ‘Raising the Future’ is my reminder to consciously mother my daughter, it’s also the nudge I need to recognise that I’m also 15
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