Mother City News 30 April - 25 May 2021

WARNING: May contain strong language

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30 APRIL TO 25 MAY, 2021

Breaking the echo chamber in the city bowl and beyond.

Amazon invasion

Ancestral call... Surya Peters sits next to Bradley von Sitters who burns herbs in a ceremony at the entrance to the River Club on Freedom Day, 27 April, while high commissioner of the Goringhaicona Khoi Khoin Traditional Council, Tauriq Jenkins addresses a crowd of about 200 supporters. The ceremony marked the end point of a ‘walk of resistance’ through the Two Rivers Urban Park to register opposition to a new mega-development at the River Club resulting in the development and destruction of intangible heritage.

Environmental lawyers consider grounds to oppose River Club development Steve Kretzmann

A possible legal challenge to the R4,5bn River Club mega development is being formulated as the current facilities are emptied following Cape Town mayor Dan Plato giving the developers the go ahead on 19 April.

US-based tech giant Amazon is the anchor tenant underpinning the development which will see the current buildings demolished, the floodplain at

the confluence of the Liesbeek and Black rivers filled in, and the construction of 10-storey high buildings.

The land on which the Amazon campus, as well as other office space in conjunction with retail and residential units, as well as a private school are to be built, is sacred to the Khoi as it was the site of the first colonial dispossession of their land by the Dutch East India Company as they expanded their Table Bay refreshment station in the late 1650s.

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Opposition by numerous civic organisations and First Nation representatives has been ongoing since the landowner and developer, Liesbeek Leisure Properties Trust, filed their initial intent to develop in 2016.

The River Club site is also situated within the Two Rivers Urban Park, which was established in 2003 following a thorough public participation process and zoned as open recreational space.

An appeal to the Municipal Planning Tribunal decision to grant rezoning

rights and planning departures was the last hurdle to the development, which was removed by Plato’s dismissal of the appeals brought by the opposing organisations and Khoi traditional houses.

Liesbeek Leisure Properties wasted no time, with construction fencing erected around the site and staff working at the existing River Club facilities informed Friday 30 April would be their last day.

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30 APRIL TO 25 MAY, 2021

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Site of memory... At the end of a march against the River Club development held on Freedom Day - 27 April – representatives from civic associations and Khoi traditional councils replaced the plaque commemorating Khoi heritage at the entrance to the Two Rivers Urban Park, just opposite the gates to the River Club. The plaque was torn down last year. After receiving no response to appeals to the City to replace it, the civic bodies took matters in their own hands. Addressing the crowd is Bokaap Civic and Ratepayers Association chair Jacky Poking.

Having exhausted all input and appeals processes to prevent or alter the development in its current form, the civic bodies are looking to approach the High Court to review and set aside the decisions in favour of the development.

Observatory Civic Association chairperson Leslie London said lawyers acting on their and other appellants’ behalf met on Thursday 29 April, and an interdict to request the development be put on hold is being prepared.

London said the environmental and green business firm of attorneys, Cullinan & Associates, are preparing the case.

Attorney Cormac Cullinan said his firm is in the process of “sorting out legal representation” and are meeting this week (3 – 7 May) to establish the legal grounds for a court application.

“I think it’s likely there will be litigation,” said Cullinan.

He said the City granted the developer departures from a number of policies, which “on the face of it” shows the decision is not consistent with existing policies. The challenge however, would be to prove the City’s decision was not just a bad decision, but also unlawful.

Should sufficient legal grounds be established, the court would be approached for an interdict pending a determination of a review application.

Among the issues being considered were the provincial Department of Environmental Affairs & Development Planning (DEA&DP) granting of an environmental authorisation, the dismissal of the appeal against the environmental authorisation, the City’s Municipal Planning Tribunal decision to grant planning departures, and the rejection of the appeal against the tribunal’s decision.

A backabuddy campaign initiated by the Observatory Civic Association had raised just over R49,000 for the legal process so far, but London said they were aiming to gain the support of “a couple of big funders” who have been approached.

Plato, in the media release announcing the dismissal of the appeal against the Municipal Planning Tribunal’s decision to grant rezoning and planning departures to allow the development to go ahead, stated the City “has carried out its duties and responsibilities related to this land use application with the highest ethical and legal compliance”.

City cheers for Amazon A number of hearings attended

by Mother City News revealed the determination of relevant City and provincial departments to ensure the development got the go-ahead. Hearings included a number of heritage tribunal meetings, as well as the Municipal Planning Tribunal’s initial hearing of 18 September 2020, when it granted the developer’s application.

It was at this meeting that tribunal chairperson David Daniels revealed his enthusiasm for the development, particularly as it accommodated a new headquarters for Amazon in South Africa.

Announcing his decision, Daniels said he wanted the headline in the next day’s newspapers to read: “R4.5 billion boost to the Western Cape economy, something to that effect”.

“Almost apologetically, right at the end of all of these 3000 page documents that we had to read, the applicant (Liesbeek Leisure Properties Trust) slips in that the precinct, precinct two, is now named the Amazon precinct,” stated Daniels.

An aerial view of the planned River Club development taken from the Final Basic Assessment Report, showing numerous multi-storey buildings.

He said Amazon issued a request for proposals in 2018 inviting bids for the location of its new Cape Town headquarters, with the River Club chosen as its preferred site.

“That’s a major, major, breakthrough for the economy of the Western Cape and for the brand of Cape Town. I think it’s a big deal... I think it’s really important,” stated Daniels.

Plato, in his press release, also stressed the “significant boost to the Cape Town economy”. He stated the construction phase would provide work for 5,239 people, and the project creating up to 19,000 “indirect and induced jobs”.

Despite the City of Cape Town’s own Environmental Management Department being one of 40 objectors

appealing the environmental authorisation granted by the DEA&DP on 20 August last year, Plato stated the River Club was “a sustainable development that balances ecological conservation and urban development”.

The environmental authorisation was also granted despite the Heritage Impact Assessment which forms part of the required authorisation, having been roundly rejected by Heritage Western Cape.

Questions sent to Amazon human resources in Cape Town received no response.

Liesbeek Leisure Properties Trust have stated they intend to start construction on or about mid-June.

30 APRIL TO 25 MAY, 2021

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River Club decision goes against the grain Editorial The City of Cape Town’s own planning policies state that the Two Rivers Urban Park should be conserved as open space. They also state that development should not occur on a floodplain.

The Two Rivers Urban Park (TRUP) straddles the Liesbeek and Black rivers and includes the River Club, Valkenberg, South African Astronomical Observatory, Oude Molen and Maitland garden village. It was declared in 2003 after a five-year public consultation process.

The existing Table Bay District Plan lists the TRUP as a “natural destination place” alongside Table Mountain, Signal Hill, and the Company’s Garden.

TRUP Association chairperson Marc Turok, who was involved in the establishment of the park, states the vision was for it to become Cape Town’s version of Central Park, with development taking place along its borders.

Heritage assessments have determined that the land within the TRUP is also sacred to the Khoi, who grazed their cattle along the banks of the Liesbeek, and were dispossessed of access to the land when the Dutch settlers claimed it for their own farms.

This was arguably the first act of colonial dispossession in Southern Africa and the genesis of more than 300 years of violence.

Now, Liesbeek Leisure Properties Trust, who bought the 15ha River Club property from Transnet for R12m excluding VAT in 2015, are going to fill in a floodplain in order to build a headquarters for Amazon, office blocks, shops, some apartments, a gym, hotel, and related facilities. Some of the buildings will be 10-storeys high.

In a bid to recognise the heritage and history of the site, they are also going to include a cultural, heritage and media centre for the First Nations; a heritage eco-trail; a garden ampitheatre “for use by the First Nations and public”; symbols central to the First Nations narrative; and name internal roads “inspired by the First Nations narrative”.

This comes after a group of Khoi representatives calling themselves the First Nations Collective in November 2019 split from the Khoi leaders opposing the development and held private talks with Liesbeek Leisure Properties. Charles Jackson, who goes by the name Zenzile Khoisan, and has a controversial history as a journalist, is the spokesperson for the Western Cape First Nations Collective. This collective has been rejected by numerous Khoi houses, including members of Khoi houses the collective claims to represent. The Khoi leaders who do not recognise the newly formed collective have been subject to insults and vitriol by members of the collective, such as Jackson, and the late former gangster Ernie ‘Lastig’ Solomons.

The decisions and statements made by Cape Town mayor Dan Plato, the City, and provincial planning authorities, needs to be viewed in this context.

Lack of imagination The letter to appellants from the municipal appeals authority of 19 April, stating the reasons why the Planning Appeals Advisory Committee dismissed the appeals against the decision to proceed with the River Club development, is instructive in that it reveals the decision makers’ approach.

One of numerous objections was that there are alternative sites within the city, that are

Driving change... The River Club, which has up to now been a golf driving range and ninehole Mashie course with associated bar and conference facilities, is to be developed into a R4.5bn office, retail, and residential complex.

The last day of work for River Club waiters, bar, and golfing staff was Friday 30 April.

Preparing the ground... The River Club precinct is already surrounded by construction fencing following the City’s announcement that the appeals against the new R4,5bn megadevelopment had been dismissed.

not on a floodplain, that could accommodate a development of this scale and size.

The response was that there were few such opportunities and “even fewer such opportunities where private developers are willing to make use of private capital to develop a mixed-use precinct that is so well aligned with the City’s spatial objectives”.

Beside the fact the development does not in fact align with the spatial objectives for this area, as laid out in the Table Bay District Plan, the statement is an admission that the development opportunity was too good to resist. This explains why planning officials have found reasons to negate or override objections, rather than consider how they

might be accommodated.

Given the developer owns the land, one idea put forward by urban development consultant Jodi Allemeier on her blog Urban Jodi, was for the City to take custody and swap it for suitable municipal property where Liesbeek Leisure Properties could develop without pouring concrete on a sensitive heritage site and green space that is also a floodplain.

In the face of sustained and informed objections by civil society, Khoi traditional houses, and activist organisations, the City has failed to investigate alternatives options such as these, and take custodianship of the land to the benefit of the common, rather

than private interest.

And to state viable solutions were not presented, as is mentioned in regard to other objections contained in the appeals response, is to sidestep the City’s ability, if not their responsibility, to invite the exploration of alternative proposals. After all, this is the City that in 2016 invited bids to develop the unfinished highways and foreshore precinct, only to abandon the project two years later as a casualty of an internal political power struggle. There has been no similar attempt to solicit new ideas here. Former mayor Patricia de Lille was not without her faults but Plato has certainly not proved himself to possess vision.

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30 APRIL TO 25 MAY, 2021

Food review

The Wild Fig: Fair weather friend Dining out becomes a tricky business when you are a parent. Most things, in fact, become a lot more complicated, but we’ll stick to dining out for now. No, Spur – bless them does not count, and there are only so many times you can go eat at the Deer Park Café, as pleasant as it is, which is why a babysitter is usually called in. Yet strange as it may seem, sometimes you do want to take your laaitie along. Call it a form of Stockholm Syndrome if you like.

But the number of restaurants offering decent cuisine, and a setting in which toddlers can toddle or children flex their restless limbs, is limited. The Wild Fig restaurant is one of the few. So off we went, with four-year-old in tow, ready for a treat.

The Wild Fig is tucked away on the far side of Valkenberg, at the very end of the green strip that is Liesbeek Avenue. It’s part of the Two Rivers Urban Park that was supposed to become Cape Town’s version of Central Park until profit-driven developers in cahoots with neo-liberal city planners tickboxed a new mega-development at the River Club that will forever alter the bucolic atmosphere of this riverine strip.

Of course the whole point of outside seating and space for the laaitie to roam depends on fair weather, which we were blessed to have, and we weren’t the only parents who had the same idea. The ample outdoor seating surrounded by plants and shaded with umbrellas and one of those stretched Bedouin tents had diners with babies, toddlers, and wrigglers such as ours, none of which screeched, squeaked or screamed thanks to their ability to stretch their limbs as they gallivanted around the courtyard, or in the case of the babies, their parents being able to take turns pushing

them around in their pram.

Somehow this did not detract from the upmarket atmosphere or the friendliness of the waiting staff who served the drinks and food with impeccable timing.

Despite appearing to be a hit with parents, the menu does not cater for kiddies (which is why we chose it rather than giving in to Spur) so we ordered a charcuterie platter with free range meat as a starter, which satisfied our four-year-old’s omnivorous preferences and our ethical food qualms. Slices of meat, blocks of feta, and baby tomatoes made up a meal for him while providing titbits for us.

The tomato chutney spooned onto slices of toasted sourdough bread was particularly delicious.

With there being a two-for-one special on the ‘lighter meals’ section of the menu, we chose the Ceasar salad and grilled rump steak roll. The Ceasar is one of those dipstick dishes, an indication of how seriously the kitchen takes itself. Seemingly easy to throw together, it requires care to get the ingredient mix right, and the sauce as its crowning glory. A kitchen that sends out a top-notch Ceasar salad is likely one that exacts the same care on all its dishes. The Wild Fig fell a touch short on this one. The sauce approached excellent, and the bowl contained all the right ingredients, just not in the right quantity. There were croutons, but too big and too few, the bits of bacon were crisped to perfection, but you could number the pieces on one hand. Likewise the chef was stingy with the Parmesan shavings. I would have expected more of a free hand on a salad coming in at R125.

The grilled rump steak roll – a prego roll really – was near perfect though. With thick crisped potato chips on the side, the

steak was medium rare as requested, the roll toasted so that it was soft but with a hint of charring on the edges, the onions on the verge of caramelised and the sauce a delicious spicy pesto.

To finish it off we shared the white chocolate baked cheesecake with vanilla icecream. It delivered all it promised: smooth, rich, not too sweet, and the ideal companion to a richly roasted cappuccino.

In all, The Wild Fig treated us to a rare lazy

afternoon of epicurian indulgence, and there are some items on the main menu, such as the slowly braised Karoo lamb ragout that make us want to return for an evening dinner, sans the youngster.

Our bill, which included two Jack Black drafts and an orange juice for the laaitie, was paid in full by Mother City News, having added up to R530 excluding a tip.

Wine

Sublime Chenin as the autumn sets in Sadé Allcock The autumn season is officially upon us and is a welcome change from the oppressive heat of summer. Seemingly overnight the temperature has dropped, and the cold weather creeping in. That’s not to say that there won’t be more fine weather beach days, but for now we relish the cooler temperatures. And what wine is better suited to the end of summer than a chenin blanc?

It is richer and typically more full-bodied than a sauvignon blanc or an unwooded chardonnay, but it is not as overpowering as a wooded chardonnay. Chenin blanc is also the most planted white wine varietal in South Africa, so understandably it constitutes a large portion of the white wine we see on our shelves.

The Swartland region is home to many incredible wineries who have persevered through the hardships of the past year to stay afloat. Not least among these is Darling Cellars, and I recently had the pleasure of sampling their Old Bush Vines Chenin Blanc 2019. This is a well-structured, elegant wine that reveals hints of oranges

and toast-like flavour. I thoroughly enjoyed this wine and must honestly admit that it disappeared down my gullet faster than I could say ‘jack rabbit’. If you need any more motivation to go out and purchase a bottle, I will leave you with this titbit; it received 4,5 stars in the Platters 2021 wine guide.

In keeping with the chenin blanc theme this month, I also had the pleasure of drinking the Cederberg Chenin Blanc 2020 on a gorgeous day trip to Paternoster. The Cederberg Wines vineyards are unique in that they are located at high altitudes and yet nevertheless produce outstanding wine. Their Chenin Blanc is no exception. Refreshing and crisp, perfect for warmer autumn days, this wine gives off hints of pear and granny smith apples. It would pair well with a tomato soup or a Thai red curry, working to refresh the palate after each creamy mouthful.

The Darling Cellars Old Bush Vines Chenin Blanc 2019 retails for an average price of R208 (The Darling Wine Shop) while the Cederberg Chenin Blanc 2020 retails for an average price of R100 a bottle @ the cellar.

30 APRIL TO 25 MAY, 2021

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Book review

Little gods: the flawed origin of our world Blessed are those who have an uncomplicated relationship with their mother, for of all human relationships, it must be the one with the most potential for complexity.

We owe her our life, yet it is our mother who has the most influence on the way we navigate the world we entered from her womb. As a result, the mother is, alongside God (and the devil), the most powerful symbol in our mythology. God may have created the universe, but mother created us, individually. And this is where the complexity arises, for our individual mother is not God, or even a god, but all too human, herself born of a mother. She has her own foibles and failings which inevitably and inexorably warp our way of being.

To be clear, Meng Jin’s novel, little gods is not about motherhood. If it is about anything in particular, it could be about the search for self realisation, part of which, arguably, is coming to accept one’s parents as human, and to love the mortal person (provided they are worth loving, which generally they are) and not to remain disappointed by her failure to embody the immortal symbol she inhabited when we were children. Little gods does raise the spectre of what this entails for those of us orphaned before this realisation is able to begin. There are other questions, but given aforesaid mother issues, this one stands out.

The journey undertaken by Liya after her mother’s death is fraught with the discovery of hidden parts of interwoven lives, along

with black holes of unknowing that death brings about. Unless one is willing and able to live with ambiguity, this may not end well.

The grace of Jin’s prose is its lack of sentimentality, as she places the particulars of Liya’s search to understand who her mother was, and by extension who she is, within the sweep of external forces.

Liya was born on the day of the Tiananmen Square massacre, just streets away from where the Chinese government mowed down its own citizens. It was also the day her father disappeared.

This casts a contextual shadow across events, even contemporary students playing a game of chess in Beijing. Seemingly untroubled by history, it nonetheless shades everyone’s experience, not dissimilar to the way apartheid haunts South Africa’s bornfrees, even if the ghosts remains unseen.

However, to say this is Liya’s story alone is to do Jin’s storytelling a disservice. The real protagonist is the one most absent - Liya’s mother, Su Lan. Liya’s struggle to understand her mirrors our own. In the same way Liya is assisted by letters, photographs, mementos and one or two of her mother’s old friends, we are assisted by having characters narrate Su Lan’s presence in their lives. This results in us being privy to more information than Liya has. Or so we think. We didn’t live with Su Lan for our entire childhood.

We also seek to better understand the enigma of Su Lan, and so we are inadvertently in competition with Liya to open the door behind which Su Lan’s complexity is fully revealed and explained, which is about as possible as knowing who your mother

Fragile Monsters by Catherine Menon

The Prophets by Robert Mad Honey by by SJ Jones Jr Naude

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi

Good novel set over 60 odd years in Malaysia. Durga returns home from Canada and, faced with her very old cantankerous grandmother, tries to uncover the hidden histories of the family, including her mother who she believes died in childbirth. Her grandmother’s versions of the past are untrustworthy so the novel in part deals with multiple truths and the power of stories.

It contains some interesting information about Malaysian history. It is well written and recommendable without being a mind blowing must read. 7.5/10

I have been wanting to read a book exactly like this for ages, and contrary to the adage, this is not one I could have written myself.

And it did not disappoint.

On a cotton plantation in Mississippi in the early 1800s, two slaves, Samuel and Isaiah, fall in love. As we hop from character to character, exploring how each of them reacts to the pair, we discover the complex network of power that has every resident of the plantation trapped, performing a role they did not choose.

Not only does the story delve into the connection between heteronormativity and white supremacy, but also how and why this queerphobia was imposed on other identities (in this case, black/African) to the detriment of ancestral knowledge. Through lines of trauma and hope, time folds in on itself, the events of the book echoing in both directions, back to a pre-colonial Africa and forward to the present day. The result is quite literally epic. The only reason I’m not giving it full marks is that I don’t want to overhype it.

9.5/10

What defines Emezi’s style, in my opinion, is the juxtaposition of gorgeous lyrical writing and a blunt, unapologetic, almost confrontational look at the monstrosity of human. I understand why Freshwater made such a splash (ba-dum-tss) when it first came out, seeing how thoroughly it indulges in both these extremes, but I find Emezi handles that tension infinitely better in their later work.

Freshwater isn’t a book that necessarily wants to be read and it won’t make it easy for you. I had to work at it, but I’m glad I did.

It’s rare to find a book that so casually rejects escapism. If you haven’t read Death of Vivek, read that instead. If you have and it deeply affected you, then give this a whirl. Think of it as a making-of 6.5/10

Steve Kretzmann

was before you came along. This in itself is a captivating concept which, wrapped in writing clear as a mountain lake that belies its own depth, makes Little gods wonderfully complex, and brilliant.

Published in both English and Afrikaans, this is an outstanding collection of short stories. The stories are quite varied, so difficult to sum up in terms of themes. Some deal with race and class in South Africa, there is a fair amount of queerness, though the stories are not about being queer or about sexuality. Mostly they are about alienation, people not sitting comfortably with their lives, disjuncture between positionality and internal dialogue, but written in very easy, accessible style. Highly recommended.

8.5/10

Short reviews by staff at The Book Lounge, the best indi bookstore in CapeTown

Little gods is Meng Jin’s debut novel and was published in 2020 by Pushkin Press.

The headline for this review was inspired

by Gustave Courbet’s painting, The Origin of the World. Do look it up.

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30 APRIL TO 25 MAY, 2021

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Noseweek editor loses defamation case Judge orders Martin Welz to pay R330,000 in damages plus legal costs to lawyer Leonard Katz Leonard Katz of law firm Edward Nathan Sonnenberg has successfully sued Noseweek editor Martin Welz for defamation. Photo: Steve Kretzmann

Tania Broughton Noseweek Editor Martin Welz and his publishing company, Chaucer Publications, have been ordered to pay R330,000 in damages to attorney Leonard Katz for the publication of articles and a front cover alleging he was the “man who stole justice”.

The articles related to allegations by Ian Brakspear, a Durban North businessman.

Brakspear claimed that Katz, a director of Edward Nathan Sonnenberg (ENS) who was representing Nedprop, had through “fraudulent schemes” swindled him out of his family’s Cape wine farm through a “fraudulent” liquidation process.

Brakspear’s claims were tested in a lengthy trial before Judge Frans Kgomo who ruled in 2014 that he was “unbalanced and irrational” and cleared banks and lawyers he had implicated of any wrongdoing.

The judge, at the time, said his allegations were “wild, probably defamatory”.

Katz sued Welz for articles he penned in two editions of Noseweek in 2014 which contained an image of him with the caption: “The man who stole Justice”.

One of the articles was headed “Lennie the Liquidator makes mockery of the law”.

In it, Welz wrote that several ENS directors had “actively helped design the fraudulent schemes”. He questioned how it was possible

for judges to tolerate the “likes of Katz” to continue practising as an officer of the court.

He further wrote: “You want what can’t legally be done? Agree to pay Lennie an extra million or three and he will pull it off, by hook or by crook.”

In his defamation action, which was heard

by Western Cape High Court acting Judge Ncumisa Mayosi, Katz said the articles portrayed that he was a dishonest person, who was guilty of unprofessional conduct and was unfit to practice law.

Welz denied that the articles were defamatory and claimed that even if they were, the content was “substantially true”, in the public interest and amounted to fair comment.

He further stated that Noseweek readers would be familiar with the publication’s “uniquely free, irreverent and occasionally entertainingly cheeky style of writing”.

Read the judgment Welz represented himself during the trial, which began in February last year.

Chaucer Publications was represented by two advocates who were briefed only for the purposes of argument.

Judge Mayosi ruled that the articles were, indeed, defamatory of Katz and, from evidence presented to the court, that they were untrue.

The judge said that at the time that the articles were published, Welz was “fully aware there was no merit to Mr Brakspear’s complaint, that the allegation was unfounded, that it was not true but they proceeded to write and publish nevertheless.”

Referring to case law on defamation, the judge said: “I fail to see how their conduct can be said to have been reasonable.”

She said it appeared that Welz was not going to let the truth get in the way of what he considered to be a good story.

“It is not in the public interest, and can be of no public benefit, to write and publish untrue statements about an individual.”

With regard to the principles relating to the award of damages, the judge said the statements published were “highly defamatory”.

“Accusing any person, let alone an attorney of corruption and/or fraud, is about as serious and damaging an allegation as can be made.”

And Welz had continued to make the allegations “well into 2020”, when he promised potential funders for the litigation that he would “vindicate the truth”.

Even after the 2014 ruling of Judge Kgomo, and under threat of being sued by Katz, Welz had written and published that he was “not rattled at all”, claiming that the judgment contained half truths or “simply nonsense”.

He later wrote that Katz’s summons “was

a gift”.

“It offers me the opportunity to fully unpack all the damning evidence in an open court room.”

He had also refused Katz’s offer to settle the defamation proceedings on the basis that he publish a retraction and apology.

The judge said Welz had not presented any evidence to establish the truth of what he had written.

“In addition, no evidence has been placed before this court demonstrating that his biting, derisory and condescending commentary in response to the Kgomo judgement was justified.

“The gift presented by Mr Katz’s summons failed to deliver the anticipated fruits.”

She said Welz and Chaucer had abused their powerful positions to launch a vicious unsubstantiated attack on Katz.

“They appear to have turned a blind eye to the injunction in Bogoshi [the leading case law matter on defamation] that members of the press should not labour under the impression that they have a licence to lower the standards of care which must be observed before defamatory matter is published.”

She ordered Welz and Chaucer to pay Katz’s legal costs.

- GroundUp

Breaking the echo chamber in the city bowl and beyond

At times it feels like Covid has ghosted us, slipped out the backdoor without saying goodbye. The dreaded Easter third wave has not materialised, people are inviting ouens around for braais again, movies are being made, schools are schooling, the online shebang as calmed itself (or we’ve just got used to it). But no! Still almost no theatre, still almost no live music, still a virus lurking about. Check what’s happening in India at the moment. Not lekka mense, not lekka at all. Very kak, actually. So, just, don’t be a doos, ok?

Art Perhaps best known for her finely wrought graffiti mostly depicting animals or portraits, Cape Town artist Faith XLVII (that’s Faith 47 – don’t ask our guess is as good as yours) works in mediums other than spraypaint on plaster. She is adept at sculpture, photography, oils, watercolour, crayon, ink, you name it. She not only knows how to use these mediums, she’s conceptually strong too, which makes us wonder if the 47 isn’t an indication that she has 47 craftspeople working away in a secret studio like Terry Pratchett demons. Whatever her secret, she pulls it off, and is having a solo exhibition at the Everard Read gallery at 3 Portswood Road there by the V&A. Opening night is on 5 May and space is limited so if you want to get that free glass of opening night wine you better move fast and RSVP on the gallery’s Facebook page. Otherwise get there and check out Faith’s work until 28 May.

Music Musicians playing to a stoned out crowd in smoky funky boozy halls are no longer a thing, and the world is sadder for that. It’s all about keeping people 1.5m apart and being in the outdoors now, so musicians are playing at wine farms. This has its upsides, we’re sure. Wine farms are nice. They’re sort of uplifting, which is ironic given their function is to make wine.

They’ve got that fresh air, clean lung thing going for them, if you’re into that kind of thing.

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My Octopus Teacher just won an Oscar. I’m sure you know that. I mean every time you go to a beach around here there are hordes of laaities gaaning aan about these eight-armed cephalopods.

They’re jumping out from behind every rockpool now. Well, even though you’ve probably seen the movie, we’re publishing this review for you, just because we can.

The shocking depravity of My Octopus Teacher Sophie Lewis One out of five stars. I mean, what could be more depraved than porn involving one’s teacher? I’ve never heard of such a thing and am sure, gentle reader, that you haven’t either.

Teaching, last time I checked, is a sacred, venerable institution. Teachers are, definitionally, smarter than we are. Frankly, it hardly bears thinking about, what made a “family” streaming platform think it was acceptable to release a documentary about someone who strips down to his swimming-trunks every day for a year, allowing his own teacher to sit naked on his throat, and ultimately “falling in love” with her (his words, by the way, not mine). Afterwards he just lies there, watching her while she gets her arm ripped off—believe me, telling you this hurts me more than it hurts you. What can I say? By recounting the sordid events of this attack on teacherly authority, my sole hope is that I may spare you having to watch it yourself.

I mean! It’s not as though our underfunded education system is already undergoing a major crisis of legitimacy or anything, is it, Netflix?! Shameful. And months later, toward the end of the movie, the student, this absolute pervert, films his professor as she dies. Meanwhile the platform rates this filth “suitable for general audiences.” Reader, sometimes I wonder: What have we become? Who among us shall bravely take a stand on behalf of teachers everywhere?

I, for one, won’t hear a word of apologism for pedagogue-, schoolmarm-, or educator-themed erotica. Thankfully, as I say, I’m pretty sure it isn’t a thing. Or wasn’t—up until this egregious misstep! Still, there’s no point crying over spilt ink. So what I want to propose is that we all simply pretend that My Octopus Teacher be not the title of this oeuvre. Let us, together, bend the offending flick into a clean and decent shape through a collective effort of our imaginations and conceive of it, instead, as My Octopus Girlfriend, a wholesome movie about getting non-genitally soppy with an octopus vulgaris specimen in the wild. Because—to be fair—if the eponymous octopus in question were depicted living out her sexuality in a

Anyway, Jeremy Loops, who we’ve dissed here before but actually he’s really rather good, is

responsible and role-appropriate way, i.e., with someone who wasn’t her student, the whole

playing at Zevenwacht wine farm in Kuils River on Sunday 23 May from midday to 6pm. It’s

thing would really sing. If Craig Foster could just have picked out an octopus who wasn’t his

not a bar, but there will be booze (can’t take your own though), and it will be good. Tickets are

teacher, all would have been well.

R250 and limited to 500.

Jols When someone promises deep basslines, we’re interested. It doesn’t always live up to expectations, but it certainly offers more promise that light trebletweets. PRISM is also promising “stripped-back grooves” and “intricate textures”. Intricate textures is a bit concerning as you’ll also find those at trance parties, which we avoid like the plague. Anyway, if you were a PRISM fan prior to Covid, you’ll be chuffed to know the party is back after a 14-month hiatus. It’s at the Spice Yard (100 Voortrekker Road, Salt River) from 3pm to 11pm on Saturday 22 May. Tickets cost R100 and you can get them on howler.co.za There’s a Garden of Groove party on 15 May. It’s disco/house/groove/tech and experimental and the venue is secret. What’s with this secret venue shit? The only reason to have a secret venue is because you’re doing something illicit in it, in which case you do not advertise via the internet that your venue is secret. That’s where you gotta go back to basics: word of mouth, friend to friend, connection to connection, complete with passwords and cloak and dagger. Anyway, if you’re into this faux-titillation, tickets cost R100 to R150 and obvs they’re limited. Get them via Quicket and be prepared for a large Uber bill because for all you know you’re going to Worcester.

There are people who swear by the silent disco. If you’re one, or want to see if you might be one, there’s one happening at Beau Constantia – which is, like, a wine farm in Constantia - on Saturday 8 May from 4.30pm to 7.30pm. Only 250 people allowed, tickets on Quicket, R80

Food If you mastered sourdough during Lockdown Level 5 and have since gone on to hot cross buns and cupcakes and whatnot and need a new baking challenge, you can sign up for a beginner class on making French Macarons. It’s online and hosted by a real French person. It’s happening on 12 May and it isn’t cheap – R299.99 – but hey, you’ll be able to be able to make macarons, which is a skill about as rare as a whitey speaking Xhosa. Also, we will be more than happy to taste test to see if you got it right – check top of page 3 for our number. To find the class, search for French Macaron for Beginners on Facebook events.

We buy vinyl. If you have inherited a crateful, or shifted to digital, we’ll exchange for cash. Call 083 348 4936. We’ll come to you.