December

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Friday, December 14, 2012

www.mhshowler.com

Celebrity doppelgangers

A STORY OF COMING OUT

Preparing for the end of the world

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The Howler Volume 14

A student publication of Monarch High School since 1998

Issue 4

One Nation, Indivisible?

All 50 states now have secession petitions on file by Katie Ciaglo

People because we want to hear from you. If a petition gets enough support, White House n wake of Barack Obama’s recent presstaff will review it, ensure it’s sent to the apidential victory, many people have been propriate policy experts, and issue an official quick to express their discontent with the response.” election outcome. Citizens from all 50 states Many people were eager to take advanhave now filed petitions for their states to tage of this system after the election. As of secede from the Union on the Obama Admin- December 1st, seven states have reached istration’s website, We the People. This site the required 25,000 signatures within the allows for citizens to add petitions online, and set time-period. These states include Texas, if the petition gets 25,000 digital signatures Louisiana, Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee, in 30 days starting from the day it’s posted, all of which voted for Romney in 2012, and the White House will review it. also Florida, whose electoral votes went to “The right to petition your government is Obama. Of these states, Texas is in the lead guaranteed by the First Amendment of the with a whopping 118,352 signatures. United States Constitution,” reads the We the So what does this mean? Will our flags People website. “We the People provides a now only fly with 43 stars? Not quite. As new way to petition the Obama AdministraYahoo news reporter Mike Krumboltz stated, tion to take action on a range of important “The odds of the American government issues facing our country. We created We the granting any state permission to go its own

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way are on par with winning the lottery while getting hit by a meteor while seeing Bigfoot while finding gluten-free pizza Screenshot from that https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/ tastes like the real thing.” reach the required number of signatures. These petitions will be much more symbolic than effective, as the White House staff Though nothing may happen with these reviewing a petition does not mean anything secession attempts, the people have spoken. will become of it. Similar petitions have been Visit https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/ to view brought to the public’s attention after both any of the hundreds of petitions currently the 2004 and 2008 elections, and many other open for signatures, and let your voice be times as well, reaching all the way back to heard. It is, after all, your constitutional right. the Civil War. These appeals have come up before, and they will surely come up again, but for now, it is extremely unlikely that anything will come of the “successful” petitions Image courtesy of wikimedia commons and designed in those seven states or any others that may by Aleiya Evison


OPINIONS COMING out The story of finding myself by Dalton Valette

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was a very sheltered child in terms of understanding what it was to be gay or lesbian. I mean, I had never even heard of the word gay except for that song “I Feel Pretty” in West Side Story, and even then I thought of it in the old sense of the word meaning to be happy or merry. I have gay neighbors living down the street from me and for the longest time I thought that they were just really, really close brothers. It wasn’t until middle school that I really heard the more modern usage of the word gay, and it came from bullies. “Hey, watch it, gay.” “Faggot.” “AIDS f---er.” What did these awful people mean? I thought to myself. I actually had to look up online the definition of gay and when I found that it was someone who was attracted to someone of their own gender, I was flabbergasted. Gay?! I thought. I’m not gay! I have a girlfriend! (We have since broken up.) Why would people say that? So all of sixth grade, I just thought everyone else was getting this sort of hazing at school but it would end when I got into seventh grade, right? Nope. People still called me gay, queer, and faggot. Some would shove me up against lockers and trip me as I walked to class. Sometimes, the name calling would get to me so much, I would sit in the bathroom and eat lunch alone, crying. I’m not gay. I’m not gay. I’ve had girlfriends. (Emphasis on had.)

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The bullying continued all throughout middle school. Some days were better than others, but a lot of the time I didn’t feel comfortable being at school. Then high school rolled along. The bullying lessened significantly, to my relief, but it was still there. I slowly began to question my sexuality. (Not that I’m saying that bullies are right. But in my case, they happened to be.) And then, I started watching this show called Being Human. I still remembered when I saw the guy who plays a vampire pop onto the screen. In my gut and in my heart, I thought, “Dang, he’s hot.” And then I had an epiphany: I’m gay. For me, and I know this isn’t the same with a lot of people, it was really just like that. I realized I was gay. One sexy looking actor helped me see… I like men. I wasn’t in the closet long, probably two weeks tops, and when I came out, all of my friends said the same thing: “Dalton, we all knew.” Well I hadn’t! This was a big deal for me! I came out to my friends first and then to my parents. I told them I was gay and of course I thought of all the horrible reactions that they would have if I came out. When I told them, they didn’t say much initially about

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One Family, Two Homes Holidays not always simple bliss for divorced families

friends have. I spend Christmas Eve with my dad and Christmas Day with my mom. So I by Arika Rooney spend every Christmas Eve thinking about how my mom is alone and every espite popular Christmas Day belief, you thinking about do not get I spend Christmas Eve with how my dad is twice the presents my dad and Christmas Day alone. It’s not for Christmas when with my mom. So I spend right for anybody you have divorced to be alone parents like mine. every Christmas Eve thinking on Christmas Especially around the about how my mom is alone especially when holidays, having a and every Christmas Day they still have divorced family can family that wants be challenging. thinking about how my dad is to be with them As a child, it is difalone. and share that ficult to understand special time. It is why you cannot have not that I feel bad both parents there at for them, it is just the same time when that I wish I was with them-- both of them, you open your presents on Christmas morntogether. Instead of Christmas morning being ing. As you grow older you begin to see the the time when I jump around in my pajamas reality of it all and in some ways it chips away and play with my new gifts, I have to leave at the magic that the holidays create. one house and go to the other, which is hecHolidays are not about the gifts and the tic enough on regular days. money. Holidays are about family. The perks of getting to experience two Growing up with divorced parents is not of each holiday are almost as easy to spot that uncommon nowadays. According to the as the difficulties. I know that I am lucky to Journal of Marriage and the Family (2000), see each of my parents around the holidays. 40% of American children will witness the It was always hard growing up seeing my divorce of their parents before turning 18. half sister get nothing more from her dad at But that doesn’t make it any less hard to deal Christmas than a small card. Because of all of with-- particularly when there is an empty this I am able to appreciate the simple things chair at the table on Christmas Eve. that those times bring: the breaks from work The holidays are supposed to be a time to and school, the small acts of kindness from spend with family playing board games and strangers and above all, the time I get to sharing laughs. Sadly, I feel like I’ve missed spend with the people that I love, even if I see out on some of that family bliss. Not to say them separately. Not to mention that I get to my family experience has been lacking, but decorate two trees. it is just different than the traditional holiday dinners and times I feel like many of my

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it. A week passed and then my parents sat me down to talk. “Dalton, we’ve known you were gay since you were in second grade. When you asked for that Polly Pocket dream mansion for your birthday, we just knew.” (And I got it and it was awesome!) “I mean,” my parents continued, “Your favorite show as a kid was Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” The biggest dilemma when I was coming out was telling my grandparents. They are both very conservative and fairly Christian, so I was understandably nervous. My grandma cried a bit but then they left it at that. A while later they said, “Dalton, we’re going to take you out for dinner so we can have a little chat.” Oh no, this is going to be bad, I thought. And my grandparents pulled up into the parking lot of the restaurant, and my jaw dropped as neon orange lettering glared down at me. Hooters. My eighty something year old grandparents took their gay grandson to Hooters. If going to Hooters with your grandparents isn’t awkward enough, try being gay. And seeing my grandpa flirting with the double DD sized waitresses and my grandma saying “people always come here for the food, not the atmosphere,” is to this day one of the most scarring experiences in my life. So, yes, coming out was a big deal and it was a surprise for me, even though it wasn’t for my friends, family, or even some of my teachers. (“Well we always just assumed,” said my seventh grade language arts teacher.) Regardless, coming out was, and still is a great moment in my life. And the thing about it was, afterwards, I felt as if a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could walk with my head held high and feel confident with who I was. I’m proud of who I am, but for a long time I didn’t know who I was, which is very confusing; I don’t recommend being in that conundrum for long. For me at least, the bullying receded once I was out. I guess people realized you can’t bully someone who knows who they are. If anyone out there is closeted, feel free to talk to me. I know exactly what you are going through, and I know how cheesy this is, but I’m going to say it anyway: it gets better. It really does. And, even if it might take some time, the people that really love you will accept you for who you are.

Cartoon Credit: Terran Fox


proud to be a coloradan A teenager’s move from the humidity of Texas to Colorado by Will Petersen

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olorful Colorado, as it is called, is a beautiful place to live. Some take it for granted; we wake up to see the radiant Flatirons of The Rocky Mountains every morning, we have some of the most ‘rad’ ski resorts in the United States, and it’sall backed by being the ninth healthiest state in the United States with the lowest obesity rate according to The United Health’s Foundation Health Rankings System. Coloradans are quite lucky to have these titles, as many other

According to skinet. com’s 2011-2012 Best Ski Resorts rankings, in the US, Vail, Snowmass, Beaver Creek, Steamboat, Breckenridge and Telluride all placed within the top ten. states can’t say the same. Colorado is a phenomenal place to be if you’re a skier or snowboarder. According to skinet.com’s 2011-2012 Best Ski Resorts rankings, in the US, Vail, Snowmass, Beaver Creek, Steamboat, Breckenridge and

Telluride all placed within the top ten. I’ve been getting the Five Mountain Ski Pass ever since I lived here, and this year I have the Epic Local Ski Pass. I moved here from Texas when I was nine years old, and the snow was a whole new discovery. After my first time in the mountains skiing, I was immediately stoked on it. Because the ski resorts are so close, skiing and snowboarding is almost like a lifestyle for people who do it. Novice or experienced, Colorado is no doubt the best state to be skiing/riding in. The weather in Colorado is simply beautiful if you like to experience four true seasons. The summers are hot and dry, the light rain makes its way in during the fall and the winter is chilly while the spring feels fresh as it starts to warm up again for the summer. I moved here in early August right before school started, and I was going into the fourth grade. As soon I moved here I had noticed Photo Credit: www.colorado.gov many things

that were different about Colorado compared to Texas as far as weather: it was much more dry, the elevation was higher, so it was bizarre to get used to breathing in the air; and I didn’t break a sweat sitting outside for a few minutes. Colorado is the Photo Credit: MCT Campus ninth healthiest state in the US and boasts the lowest obesity rate. Coloradans are hard workers; after working at the office, they usually try to make their way outside to either ride a bicycle or go on a light jog. So if you aren’t driving your 4X4 vehicle, then you’re either cycling or jogging to your destination. Growing up in Colorado has been a drastic change from what it was and could have been in Texas. But being honest on the subject,

the drug of the internet by Ashley Litoff

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ave you ever been tweeting on your phone and only half listening when someone is talking to you in person? Does your homework take you twice as long because of the constant distraction of Twitter or Facebook? Do you have difficulty performing daily tasks, such as walking, because you’re reading all of your friend’s newest status updates? Do you have more friends on Facebook than in real life? If you answered yes to any of these, you might have an addiction to social networks. An addiction is a habit that you have no control over. More commonly discussed addictions include drug and alcohol abuse. An addiction is defined as reward-seeking behavior that is no longer a choice. Someone who has an addiction uses substances like drugs and alcohol to cope with the reality of daily life. Because social media is not a mind-altering substance, it’s not usually the first thing

that comes to mind when someone thinks of an addiction, but it is quite possible to be addicted to social media. The University of Chicago published a study in the journal Psychological Science concluding that social media may actually be more addictive than smoking or drinking. People who are addicted to substances use those substances for a variety of reasons; a way to escape reality, something that is fun or rewarding in the moment, or a way to feel good about themselves. Social media is used in similar ways. We use it to escape reality

or to avoid actual physical social interaction. I’ve seen people who automatically reach for their phones because they don’t know anyone in the room. Similarly, I have sent a Facebook message to escape an awkward conversation. And who doesn’t feel good when another person likes their profile picture or follows them on Twitter? The rewards of drugs/alcohol are not so different from the rewards of social networks. Although people can have an addiction to both social media and illegal substances, it may seem that the addiction to social media is safer. However, even though you can’t overdose on Facebook or Twitter the way you can with other substances, it can still be dangerous. For example, driving under the influence impairs your driving, but so can your addiction to social networks, if you are driving and checking one of these sites. Similarly, alcohol and social media can impair your perception of other people. When you’re drunk, often someone may seem more attractive or funnier than they actually are, just like how social media can make someone look better or seem friendlier than they are in person.

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I think that the move was for the better. The reason for my family’s move here was because of a job that my dad had found, as the job market was much better up here. The move opened my eyes to what I had been missing out on. The superb Rocky Mountains, this peculiar phenomena called ‘snow’, and being able to experience four seasons year by year. We don’t have to have overpopulated cities like California or New York do to be considered the best state. For me, it is somewhat inexplicable and hard to pinpoint exactly why Colorado is the best state to reside in, but I think that all Coloradans can agree that it hits you once you have experienced Colorado’s many luxuries, and believe me, the luxuries that we have in Colorado are numerous and heavily outweigh what we don’t have, so don’t ever take them for granted.

66% of online adults say they use Facebook 92% of adults ages 16-29 use social networking sites Since February, 2005, the rate of people 18-29 year olds using Social Networking have gone up 83% up until August, 2012

Statistics: http://pewinternet.org 3


two sides: crisis in the middle east Our modern apartheid: Israel’s oppression Can terrorism result in peace?: of The Gaza Strip by Malachi Dray “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” -John F. Kennedy, 1962

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here is an unfortunately violent revolution underway right now, and it seems that America is guiltily involved in its proliferation. I’m referring to the situation in Palestine, Photo Credit: MCT Campus or Israel as it is recognized by the val blockade has prevented ships from United States. While the rockets have stopped bringing humanitarian aid to Gaza, while the flying people of the Gaza Strip suffer from for now, a great injustice remains in which endemic poverty. Recent estimates place the our government remains shamefully involved. unemployment rate in Gaza at a From November 14th to the 21st Israel devastating 40%, roughly five times the rate executed “Operation Pillar of Defense”, an in the United States. excessively violent assault on Palestine deYet even this is not the end of the suffering signed to hinder the activities of Palestinian the Palestinians must endure. Israeli citizens militants from the Gaza Strip against Israel. for decades have been settling on Arab land, The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) launched in turn pushing them from what little scraps a barrage of rockets for a week into the small of their home they retain. Right in the aftersliver of land of 1.5 million inhabitants math of this recent deadly blowout, the Israeli hugging the eastern edge of the Mediterragovernment has authorized the development nean Sea. It is greatly unfortunate that six of an additional 3,000 Jewish housing units Israelis lost their lives as a result, but even in occupied East Jerusalem, which it annexed more shocking and disgraceful were the 167 after the 1967 Six Day War (illegally according Palestinian fatalities that resulted. to the U.N.), as well as future construction in What exactly prompted this barrage? It is the West Bank. easy to blame the Gaza militants, the I cannot condone violence in any circumHamas Party, as it is factual that the Israelis stance, but I am not quite sure what else were acting in response to rocket attacks on Palestinians should do in response to these their injuries. I am hard pressed to find an cities. However, it is necessary to look at this alternative solution for these oppressed peotroubling conflict in somewhat more depth ple, although I wish there was such an before assuming the Palestinians are guilty of option. Hamas is certainly not acting righinciting violence. teously when they launch rockets at Israel, In the wake of World War II and the but what level of submission to external domunspeakably tragic Holocaust, the United inance is realistic before arms are raised in Nations contemplated the possibility of esopposition? tablishing a Jewish state in Palestine, where How does America play into this? The Unithundreds of ed States is one of Israel’s largest allies, thousands of Jews had arrived over the past and its primary military benefactor. For 25 decades. In truth, they were returning to their years Israel has received an average of $1.8 ancient home, after millennia of exile caused billion annually from the U.S. for military purby the Diaspora, or the forced removal of poses. The U.S. paid almost entirely for the Jewish people from Israel by Babylon and the construction of the “Iron Dome”, an anthe Romans. ti-missile system that protects Israel from It seems that the horrendousness of this rockets while Palestinians must suffer the unwilling relocation was forgotten in part at barrages undefended, resulting in countless least. On November 29th, 1947, the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted a resolution urging the British government, currently occupying Palestine, to partition For 25 years Israel has rethe land into two states, one Jewish, one ceived an average of $1.8 Arab. As the British reign over Palestine expired and the UN Partition plan took efbillion annually from the fect, Zionist David Ben-Gurion declared the Jewish state of Israel into existence within U.S. for military purposes. the Jewish-designated zone. Almost immediately, the Arab-Israeli war of 1948 broke out, with armies from Jordan, Syria, Egypt, Lebanon, and Iraq invading Israel. They were defeated by the unnecessary deaths. The United States has newborn also agreed to fund the construction of an Jewish state. During this war a great crime Israeli air base at the cost of $100 million was committed by Israel, however justified over the next two years. they were in the defense of their new nation. As congressmen kick and scream about Over 700,000 Palestinian Arabs left their the impending fiscal cliff and how to balance homes, chiefly forced by armed Israeli solthe budget, perhaps a good place to start diers. They were never to return. would be our costly sponsorship of blatant The 1948 Palestinian Exodus, known in murder and injustice in the Palestinian terriArabic as the Nakba (“catastrophe” tories. The deaths of those 167 Palestinians or “cataclysm”) was a great wrongdoing often should not have been facilitated by anyone, forgotten to the world. But the troubles much less a country deeply in debt and did not end there. Over the next half-century, thousands of miles away. Secondly, the Israel would forcibly snatch up almost all of United States should actively work towards a the land partitioned to Arabs in a series of two-state solution, which would give Arab Palwars. estinians their own state rather than armed Today the Arab Palestinians are pent up in occupation. small chunks of land occupied by Israel, If peaceful concessions are not made to a namely the Gaza Strip, the West Bank, and people disenfranchised by their strong-armed the Golan Heights. In the Gaza Strip in neighbors, it is certain that violent revolution particular conditions are dismal. Israel mainwill continue, along with the inexcusable tains a land, air, and sea blockade of Gaza, deaths, injuries, and relocations that result. and has full control over its borders. The na-

the controversy between Israel and Palestine by Jonathan Ansell

and shot them) and demand the owners who live there now give me the house back beor the Jewish people asylum is a necescause my family lived there 60 plus years ago sity. Around the world anand it ti-semitism runs rampant was taken and there isn’t a lot that can be from In response to the attacks, Israel done about it. This was even them. started treating the borders bemore evident in the late 1940s If they tween it and Gaza like a border. after the Holocaust, where over refuse, According to 60 Minutes, the 6 million of the 13 million fatalit’s okay walls, border checks and seities were the deaths of Jewish if I shoot curity reduced terrorism by 90 people. Because of this, the rockets percent. U.N. voted to divide the British at these piece of land, now called Israel, innocent into an Arab state and a Jewish civilians one. Despite the U.N.’s vote and under the support from the Russia and the U.S., the the reasoning that the Polish government is Arab League denied Israel’s right to exist. The oppressing me. Especially if they try to make day after it was declared a state, Israel was atme stop attacking. It is ridiculous to keep tacked by Egypt, Transjordan, Syria, Lebanon attacking. Unfortunately this has not stopped and Iraq. Israel stood strong and was able to Hamas despite the “Gaza Massacre” or Opernot only ation Cast Lead in 2009 (the Israeli response fight Hamas’ rockets). The current Israeli prime off the minister even said “[i]f Palestine were to lay attack down their guns tomorrow, there would be but also no war. If Israel were to lay down theirs, there gained would be no Israel”. some Another way Hamas attacks Israel is land. through the news. The media likes to depict a This all soulless Israel that ignores the impoverished hapPalestinians in Gaza, however while Hamas is pened buying rockets Israel is sending aid into Gaza. 60 years “Gaza is not experiencing food scarcity. Israel ago and is not blocking entrance of goods into Gaza, it still except for weaponry and dual-use materials. pretty Construction materials can be imported to much Gaza under the supervision of internationsums up al organizations... Israel is continuing the Israel’s yearly supply of five million cubic meters exis(1,320,860,250 gallons) of water to Gaza, tence. despite the rocket attacks on Israeli cities and Photo Credit: MCT Campus towns... UNRWA (UN Relief and Works Agency) The small country is in a constant struggle reports (17 Nov 2012) that despite some disto be recognized by the belligerent states placement of families due to hostilities, ‘there surrounding it while it has to simultaneously hasn’t been any need to provide emergency suppress the attacks upon itself. Stopping humanitarian assistance or to open UNRWA the attacks by using force causes the hosfacilities as emergency shelters.’”- Israel Mintile states to get more aggressive, forcing istry of Foreign Affairs. This article goes on to Israel to suppress attacks with more military talk about the medical and electrical aid that responses. Its the political equivalent of “he Israel gives regardless of the rocket attacks started it.” on its people. What matters is the situation in the last few One of the biggest grievances is the years, not the last century. And that situation amount of civilian deaths in Gaza. I would like is Hamas relentlessly firing at Israeli citizens. to say that no Zionists I’ve met support these Israel is backed into a corner. Left-wing deaths. But the media like to conveniently Zionists and Palestinians would say that Israel forget the attempts on the lives of Israeli has backed Gaza into a corner. This claim citizens. Remember the rockets that have isn’t groundless; however, realistically Gaza been fired since 2005. Just because Israel backed itself into a corner. In 2006 Israel has a great defense system does not mean returned the Gaza Strip to Palestinian control that it is morally acceptable to fire rockets in an attempt to stop the Qassam rocket into it instead of firing at the IDF soldiers who attacks being launched by Hamas since 2005. are actually doing what the government says, Over 9,000 Israeli citizens were forced to unlike the innocent residents of Israel. Israel move out. Ironically, instead of this stopping actively warms the civilians around the target the rockets, the new citizens democraticalwith phone calls, leaflets, loud noise makers ly elected the group that had been firing to warn of an attack, pinpoint strikes and rockets in the first place. According to the aborted strikes. Hamas hides their leaders in US government, Hamas is a terrorist group, mosques, schools and civilian areas actively but its political opposition-the Fatah-who trying to make the news. They also give no controls the West Bank, is not. After being warnings to the Israelis and aim at normal elected to power, Hamas continued to send people instead of their “suppressors”. suicide bombers and fire rockets out of Gaza I don’t support everything the Israeli govinstead of into it. In response to the attacks, ernment does, but do I recognize the need Israel started treating the borders between it for a Jewish state. Part of why Israel acts the as well as Gaza like a border. According to 60 way it does it to protect the Law of Return. Minutes, the walls, border checks and security This law is the only thing that gives 100% reduced terrorism by 90 percent. If there was guaranteed asylum to any Jewish person. no terrorism, would these expensive measure Based on the democratic election of Hamas be worth the trouble? No they would not be. and the influence of other Arab countries, And what makes the situation worse is that this law would be abolished if there wasn’t the desperate attacks do not accomplish a Jewish majority, thereby rendering the anything. The Hamas attacks are the equivestablishment of Israel purposeless. Not evalent of me going to Poland to find my great erything done to protect this law is good, but grandmother’s house (where the Nazi regime, the potential amount of lives it can protect is technically the Polish government at the time, invaluable. took her and the rest of my family living there

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Mind the Gap

Local graduate advocates for post-grad gap years in her new book

Lutz poses in Vietnam during her gap year. (Photo courtesy of Monika Lutz)

by Joy Wineman

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ouisville’s very own Monika Lutz has taken the scenic route to discovering her purpose, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She spent three years at Monarch K-8, including a French class at the high school campus. She then went on to Fairview for grades 9-12. Lutz spent her high school years participating in varsity sports, serving

as Fairview’s senior class president, and maintaining a stellar GPA. She thought she was on track to an Ivy League education, and by association, fulfillment. Admissions day came that April of her senior year. She sat with her parents opening letter after letter only to discover that she had not been admitted to a single college that she had wanted to attend. “There I was in Boulder, Colorado crying myself to sleep

on admission day because everything that I had worked for was suddenly worth nothing. There I was, completely unsure of who I was and where I was going. So I set out to find something that would actually bring me fulfillment,” said Lutz. That something was a totally different path than most of her classmates were taking. For Lutz, fulfillment did not await her in a dorm room, not yet at least. Rather than attending

a university that next fall, Lutz embarked on a gap year where she interned in a variety of fields, wearing out her passport. Well known media sources such as USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, and Boulder’s Daily Camera took notice of her bold leap. She was featured in articles in all of them and has since used her time in the public eye to suggest the possibility of another option besides college for seniors upon graduation. “I found my dream career, my best friend, my academic specialization, and myself”, said Lutz of her experience. She beams when discussing her gap year, so much so that she decided to write a book elaborating on her experience. Now What? by Monika Lutz is appropriately titled as that was the exact phrase reverberating through her mind on that fateful admissions day. She has completed the book and is currently working on publicizing it to prove to a publisher that there is a market for her book. Lutz is publicizing Now What? through kickstarter.com. This website has a page set up for her book with 13 different financing options that backers can choose from for investing. Her project has until December 21st to raise the full funding, and to therefore be up for consideration by a publisher. For more information on this project and for links to her articles in USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, and The Daily Camera, refer to the Howler’s website (mhshowler. com) in the features section.

ups and downs of the month of december by Joy Wineman Icons by Natalie Forman December is a good month for chimneys as it is the one month a year that the chimney will receive a thorough sweep free of charge. This is, of course, referring to Santa’s sliding down the chimney on the night of December 24th in order to deliver his presents for the 25th. According to The International Business Times, Santa travels down 832 chimneys per second that night in order to reach every

December is a bad month for mankind as certain interpretations of the Mayan calendar predict the world to end on December 21st, 2012. Many people are being forced to put their bucket lists on hyperdrive just to finish in time, while others are enjoying multiple ‘personal health days’ from work and school. This is logical because if the world really does end, their attendance will not be the most pressing matter facing the universe.

The Turkey population is steadily rising this month after November’s steep plummet. These feathered friends can look forward to eleven months of peace, until next year’s traditional reaping. By that time they will most likely have forgotten about this year’s massacre, and will therefore be, yet again, caught off guard. Turkeys’ memory spans, on average, are no longer than a few days.

Solar energy is typically down in December. This is because December is the month with the least amount of daylight each year in the Northern Hemisphere. This is caused by daylight savings and the tilt of the earth’s axis. Conspiracy theorists even go so far as to suggest that it is an intricate plot orchestrated by oil companies to sabotage their competition. Coming from the people who suggest that Lizard-People run the world, it is at least worth considering.

Energy bills have spiked this month, as they usually do. This is due to sizeable increases in decorative lights, heating systems, cookie baking contraptions (sometimes known as ovens), and inflatable yard decorations. As all of these energy drains are unavoidable and completely necessary, it would be wise to allow for more spending on energy bills in your December budget.

The smoking population at CU is decreasing due to recent events. The Boulder campus reviewed a proposal made by the university’s student government and is seriously considering making CU a non-smoking campus. This is forcing many students to consider quitting, as if Boulder drivers weren’t agitated enough as it is. 5


Affording College: Tips on FAFSA and Other Aid by Charlie Light

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n anticipation of the January 1st release of the FAFSA, Free Application for Federal Student Aid, the counseling department hosted “Navigating Financial Aid.” Monarch counselors Mary Power and Alex Cyr aided the main speaker of the night, Erick Aguirre of CU Boulder’s Office of Financial Aid. The FAFSA asks students and parents about their general information such as their address, a list of the colleges the student is applying to, student and parent income, untaxed income, and assets. While filling out the FAFSA can help students receive a considerable amount in aid, Aguirre advises to not count primarily on it for assistance. “Apply for as many scholarships as you can,” he said. “Federal aid is Plan B.” According to Aguirre, some of the best places to look for scholarships are local businesses; civic, religious and non-profit organizations; and essay contests. “There are so many places you should look for scholarships that you wouldn’t think to look,” said Aguirre. Aguirre advised students to submit scholarships as early as possible. He says many scholarships are given on a first-come, first-serve basis, so applying early increases a student’s chances of receiving assistance. Even for scholarships that aren’t first-come, first-serve, there is an advantage in applying as soon as possible. “Get your materials together early in case there’s a hiccup.” Whether applying for aid or scholarships, the FAFSA is still a vital part to the financial aid process. “Lots of scholarships ask for your FAFSA, so fill it out anyway,” Aguirre said. He

also advises that students should always find attending any public college in Colorado or out the aid they’re eligible for. “My recomone of three eligible private colleges (Coloramendation is fill out the FAFSA; you never do Christian, Regis, and Denver). These funds know what you’ll qualify for.” are given automatically to every qualifying To fill it out, both the student and parent student that applies. need to get a pin number from www.pin. In addition to FAFSA, students may be ed.gov, then proceed to www.FAFSA.gov to asked to fill out the CSS (College Scholarship fill out the application. Aguirre warned about Service) Profile, especially from competitive many scam websites that offer to fill out the private schools. Power says it is “similar to FAFSA on behalf of the student for a fee. “I FAFSA, it just digs deeper into your family’s promise you can fill it out on FAFSA.gov for finances.” free,” he said. Aguirre’s powerpoint presentation is Aguirre also advises families to not be available on the Monarch Counseling website, hesitant about filling out the application. https://sites.google.com/site/monarchhigh“Filling out the FAFSA does not obligate you schoolcounseling/home. Students are also to take out loans. It’s only to see what you encouraged by counselors to use resources qualify for.” in the Post Grad Center, such as books on Because many families will fill out the scholarships and counselors themselves. FAFSA before they file taxes for 2013, Aguirre says that parents should use their best estimates if they are unsure about their exact income. “Once taxes are filed for that year you can go back Types of Aid: and update the information” by using Self-Help: the IRS Data Retrieval Tool, which will -Work-study: students work jobs for the link a family’s financial information college. The jobs are specifically designed for from the IRS straight to the FAFSA students at the college, so this isn’t a large organization. hassle according to Aguirre. If a family realizes they made -Federal Stafford loans: Loans taken out and mistakes on the application after paid back by students. submitting, they can either log-on -Federal PLUS parent loans:Loans taken out to fix them or contact the financial and paid back by parents. aid offices of the schools they are -Private Student or parent loans applying to. Gift Aid: In addition to FAFSA, students in Col-Scholarships orado are eligible for more govern-Grants (Need-based aid) ment assistance. The College Opportunity Fund sets aside $62 per credit hour for every Colorado resident

interim Security Guard Helping around Monarch

Rivera uses her golf cart to help do her job every day. (Photo credit: Anna Blanco)

by Anna Blanco

De-Coding the Fiscal Cliff

(Photo credit: Drew Sheneman, MCT 2012)

by Conner Lund

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he fiscal cliff is one of the biggest issues in the United States, yet students simply don’t know the ramifications of this issue, or even what it is. Here’s an explanation to clear any misconceptions. The fiscal cliff refers to the expiration of massive tax cuts created in the Bush era. This will create massive tax increases and spending cuts after January first of 2013, unless Obama and the republican dominated Congress can create an alternative plan. The name for this issue was created by the head of treasury, referring to 6

the “cliff we will fall off of” if the government does not create a new compromise. Right now, the democrats and republicans have very different stances on the issue, which makes compromise extremely difficult. President Obama’s proposed plan is to allow the middle and lower classes to keep the tax cuts they have had since introduced, while the wealthiest 2%, which is families making 250,000 dollars or more, will have to pay more in income tax. The Republican Party believes this will not work, and that taxing the wealthy is not an option because it will hurt our economy. They want to simply extend the tax plan, so everyone will still share the same

tax cuts they have had for the past years. This is because of the main republican platform on the economy. Republicans believe that the main solution to the economic recession is cutting spending in government programs. This is another huge issue surrounding the cliff. Would spending cuts or increased taxes benefit our economy more? If the two parties cannot come to an agreement on the issue before January 1st, then everyone in America will have to face severe tax increases. The democrats have said that this would be fine with them. The question is, is this simply a negotiation strategy to get republicans to compromise, or is it the truth? If the democrats are fine with going over, then it’s because of the massive spending cuts that would happen if the tax cuts are extended. The democrats believe that spending cuts are detrimental to the economy, and voice that tax increases would help our economy more than spending cuts. The republicans must provide a viable option soon, because they think that if the tax cuts expire, then everyone would have to pay more taxes to the government, which, in their opinion, would send our economy into a deep economic recession. A third option is to extend the tax cuts until 2014, so Obama and Congress can have more time to figure out the best option. This is a huge situation with disastrous consequences if Congress and Obama either choose wrong, or can’t agree with each other, then the taxpayers dollars and the economy is in peril.

H

ave you noticed the new face occupying the golf cart by the bus loop in the morning? Or the parking lot during lunch? This is the face of Monarch’s temporary security guard, Roxy Rivera. Rivera will be filling in for Jim Wilpot while he is out recovering from surgery. As soon as the administration was notified that Jim would be leaving, Assistant Principal Mark Sibley called the district and let them know that Monarch would need a temporary security guard. Then the district notified the temporary agency. Thus, Rivera was sent to fill in. “I started the week before Thanksgiving Break,” explained Rivera. There are two security jobs that take place outside that have to be taken care of. This is where Rivera comes in. “I have to make sure that there aren’t any parents trying to drive in where the buses go [before and after school], and I monitor the parking lot [during lunch],” said Rivera. At lunch Rivera checks off-campus passes for students leaving during the day and makes sure that students park where they are supposed to. Monarch currently has two security guards. “The ideal would be three to four,” explained Assistant Principal Eric Moroye. Even though Monarch would like to have more than two security guards on the campus, it is not possible at the moment due to the budget and scarce resources. “We manage very well with the two,” adds Moroye. The duties of the two security guards are generally split into indoor and outdoor. Rivera is usually stationed outside in the parking lot or by the bus loop, while Steve Abeyta, the other security guard, normally keeps an eye on security inside the building. But depending on the day’s activities, the plans may be changed accordingly. The next time that you see Rivera in the golf cart patrolling the school grounds, or Steve around the building make sure you wave hello, and remember that Monarch is very fortunate to have people like this protecting the school.


Top ten study tips for finals by Mia Mulvahill

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re you feeling stressed, flustered and all-around unprepared for the fast-approaching final exams? Don’t freak out. By following these tips, you should arrive at finals week with no worries! 1. Don’t procrastinate: Finals are stressful enough on their own without waiting until the last minute to study for them. If you only crack open your textbook on the night before the test, you will run into some serious problems. First, you may be surprised at how long the material takes to cover and run out of time to cover everything. Second, you won’t retain the information as well if you cram everything into your brain in too short of a time. 2. Allow yourself time to get feedback and ask your teachers questions: This tip comes from Connie Williams, who can most often be found in the Monarch Forum: “If your test is an essay, make sure you get a practice essay written ahead of time, and then go in and have your teacher proofread it, so you can get feedback and fix the essay,” suggested Williams. This tip also applies for other subjects. If there’s a specific topic in any of your classes that you feel foggy about, ask your teacher for clarification. Teachers are there to help you, so make sure to take advantage of the time you have with them. 3. Take advantage of tutor time: Aside from the regular Wednesday morning tutor times leading up to finals, during the week of final exams, tutor time is offered every morning from 7:30-9:25 and again in the afternoon from 2:20-3:00. This is a great time to talk with teachers about any questions you may have, or just take some time to study in a quiet place. 4. Study in the same format as the test: “If your test is going to be an essay, write a little practice essay. And if, for a class like Spanish, you have an oral exam, then practice speaking,” said Williams. Practicing this way will help ingrain the information in your brain so you can access it later, during the test.

5. Take advantage of extra credit opportunities: Many teachers offer opportunities for extra credit right before final exams. Although studying for the exam should be your main priority, if you have enough extra time to complete these assignments they can really boost your Seniors Michael Maulsby, left, and Jack Shanahan, right, work on their math homework together in grade. As a the library. (Photo Credit: Mia Mulvahill) bonus, many extra credit students make. “It’s easy to read, but students assignments are review problems or packets need to study,” said Williams. While reading that can help you study while gaining extra may be helpful for some, most people need points on your test. If you don’t know if extra to study the information in a more interactive credit is offered in one of your classes, ask way for the information to stick. your teacher. 6. Organize your materials: “Read the study guide. Go through [your] notebooks and organize [them]. Anything that isn’t on the final you can recycle, but any kind of notes or resource/reference materials [you] have, [you] need to keep them in a neat packet,” said Williams. Not having to search through piles of papers should streamline thestudying process. 7. Use flashcards: Using flashcards, or any other methods like rewriting notes or taking practice quizzes, can help you remember the things you need to study. Also, by carrying flashcards around, you can turn any downtime in other classes into study time. For some people, the act of rewriting can help imprint the information in their brains. 8. Don’t just read your notes: According to Williams, only rereading notes, as opposed to really studying them, is a common mistake

9. Eat a good breakfast: “Basically, foods are like pharmaceutical compounds,” said Fernando Gómez-Pinilla, a physiological science professor at University of California, Los Angeles, according to an article on eHow, written by August McLaughlin. “You put all the studies together and I think there is no question that the function of the brain depends almost absolutely on the type of foods you eat.” According to Joy Bauer, nutrition expert for The Today Show, some of the best foods to eat are scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast, oatmeal, a protein smoothie, or fruit, yogurt and granola. 10. Don’t over-stress: Finals may be important, but they are not the end of the world. Sometimes stressing out can make you so nervous that you do worse on a test than you would have if you hadn’t been so stressed out. If you are properly prepared and try your best, you are on your way to success.

end of the world Crazy superstition or harsh reality? by Conner Lund

(Mark Crosse/Fresno Bee/MCT)

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he Mayan calendar has predicted the end of the world down to the day: December 21st, 2012. Since then, this myth has gained huge press, attracting the attention of the movie industry, which has made numerous movies about the end, the newest one being 2012. But this isn’t the first warning of the end of the world. Numerous organizations have predicted the end before, but none have come true. What do you believe? Monarch students voice their ideas on the demise of humanity: “I believe the world will end, but not anytime soon. There’s no proof that it will end, and people have been wrong in the past.” Caden Feenstra, 9th grade “I don’t think the world will end. People have predicted it before and they were wrong, so how is this different?” Anna Bradford, 10th Grade

Dreaming of Flying

Why one Monarch student has chosen to join the military by Jack Howard

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onarch senior Chang dae Hahm has applied to various service academies including the United States Air Force Academy and United States Military Academy at West Point with the hopes of having a military career lasting in excess of ten years. Hahm cites the Air Force as his most desired choice since the service academy is in Colorado and because he felt a personal connection to the school at a summer seminar he attended. Hahm cites the moral, physical, and academic challenges that the U.S. service academies provide as incentives for him to attend these schools. Hahm’s future career as an officer upon graduation is also an incentive, providing a platform where he can serve his country. “I think it’d be an honor to serve my country as well as honor my desire to have an excellent academic education in college,”

said Hahm. Hahm has considered this career option since 8th grade. “I got introduced to the service academy at school in 8th grade, and since then I’ve been subscribing to their letters, [learning] more about it, researching what they do, [and] what I can do after the school. I still think it’s a great option for me.” While all the men in his family have served in the South Korean Army, Hahm sees his desire to have a challenging academic career as the true reason behind his decision. “It’s kind of in my blood, but it’s not because of [my family that] I’m joining, it’s because I have an intrinsic desire to go to a service academy”. Hahm plans on having a career in the military for up to 20 years. “I’m thinking of going full out military career, if I do get accepted to a service academy”, said Hahm.

“The world won’t end, or at least not in December. They don’t have a scientific reason for it to end, so it’s all speculation.” Ethan Knight, 9th grade “I think the world will end. The Mayan calendar predicted it, so it has to happen. When it ends, I would want to find everyone I love and tell them my feelings, so I could die peacefully.” Seth Widner, 11th grade

(Photo Credit: Jack Howard)

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Howling about the holidays Rachel Vidak (11): My mom still won’t tell me that Santa Claus doesn’t exist and she still wants to hold on to the “magic makes dreams come true,” that kind of thing. I think I made her cry once because I was like, “Mom, he’s not real.” But I have a sister, she’s six years older than me, and it was one of those things Christmas morning she’d be like, “Santa” all sarcastically and that kind of stuff. She obviously knew since she was older and I was like, “Wait, is he not real?” at a young age there was something in the back of my mind because of that I was like yeah, he’s not real. I’m a very factual person so definitely toward fifth grade I was like,

Grace Clark-Rabinowitz (12): I think I was eight or nine and I went into the basement and it was about two weeks before Christmas and I really, really, really wanted a piano. So I went downstairs and I saw a piano and that was when I definitely realized Santa wasn’t real and

my parents bought me the presents. I was just so excited

that I was getting the piano that I really didn’t care much and to this day my parents still keep up the charade of Santa Claus and they still call them Santa presents. Erik Senteno (12): I found out Santa wasn’t real in third grade. I sort of had a suspicion. I had a lot of questions and [my parents] didn’t have a lot of answers. So I kind of put it together. My parents stopped trying to enforce it when I started asking the right questions.

“That is physically impossible. That is not going to happen ever” and then sixth grade it was

My parents were not sneaky enough.

completely out because sixth grade is when everyone found out he wasn’t real, at least at my school. So sixth grade is when you just knew that he wasn’t real. No denying it.

AJ Biffl (9): I was like eight. I was walking into my mom’s room and I was looking for something. But I opened up her closet and on the floor there were these boxes and they were wrapped in wrapping paper and they had these little labeling cards on them. They said to either AJ or to Natalie, which is my sister, and they said ‘from Santa Claus’. Then I was like, wait,

these don’t actually come from Santa Claus they come from my mom’s closet? No! They come from my mom! Oh

g n i he t v n i e li sting

Seheen high schoo liver

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Ella Stephens (11): I was probably seven or eight years old when I stopped believing in Santa Claus. I asked my mom if the Easter Bunny was real, she said no, and

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FOR BELOVED PETS Yummy Dog Treats (for cats too!) What You’ll Need: -two cups 100% organic whole wheat flour -two jars of pureed baby food (4 oz - make sure there is NO ONION OR ONION POWDER!) -Parchment paper and cookie sheet What To Do: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 2. Mix ingredients together to make a firm dough and then roll it out so it is about ¼ inch thick (cut into cool shapes like dog bones and toys with any type of cookie cutter or knife). 3. Place on parchment paper and bake for 20-25 minutes.

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(Wikimedia Commons)

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... 4... 3... 2... 1! When the ball drops in Times Square this year at exactly 12 AM on New Year’s day, there’s sure to be hugging, kissing, crying, and the clinking of glasses. After the initial madness, there’s always the question: what’s your New Year’s resolution? Monarch students and teachers weigh in about the ways they plan to improve their lives in 2013.

us a l C a t

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f Sa o c i mag

What’s your New Year’s resolution?

FOR ADULTS

FOR FRIENDS OR SIBLINGS

Custom Mugs

Sparkle Starbucks Cup

Lego Belts

What You’ll Need: -Clear Starbucks cold cup (Usually $10 at Starbucks) -Glitter -Spray Glossy Finish

What You’ll Need: Legos Belt with flat belt buckle Sticker Foam Paper E-6000 or any type of hardware Super Glue

What To Do: 1. Remove the inside layer of the cup. *Steps 2-4 must happen quickly so the spray doesn’t dry before you insert the glitter! 2. Spray the inside of the outside layer with the spray glossy finish. 3. Add a medium amount of loose glitter. 4. Put a lid (just cardstock paper is fine) and shake the cup so the glitter spreads to where you just sprayed. Dump the excess glitter onto an appro(MCT 2011) priate surface (the rest of the cardstock is a good option). 5. Repeat steps 2-4 until you’re happy with the amount of glitter in your cup. 6. While everything is drying, put the inside layer back into the cup (make sure it fits and if it doesn’t, then just rub off glitter until it does). 7. Spray an even layer of the spray glossy finish on the glitter (this will seal it so it won’t

What To Do: 1. Design the Legos in a the way you want them to be on the belt (make sure it will fit the format of the belt). 2. Trace the Lego piece onto the foam paper and cut it out. 3. Stick the back of the Lego to the sticky side of the foam. Then use E-6000 to stick the non-sticky side of foam to the belt. Let it dry overnight and then you have a snazzy Lego Belt!

fall off later). Make sure to not get any of the spray or glitter on the outside! *Splitting Step 7 into a few sections is more effective. 8. Let it dry and you have a fashionable starbucks cup! (Glitter may fall out when you wash it, but not to worry... That’s normal!)

(MCT)

-What You’ll Need: -Mug -Sharpies of any color

(Wikimedia Commons)

“To be on the basketball team.” -Brian Su “To be more focused and efficient with schoolwork.” -Brady Mills “To learn how to snowboard and be Christian Barr’s girlfriend.” -Bree Emma “To never have a girlfriend.” -Christian Barr

The holiday season is a time for giving, which people interpret as buying (sometimes expensive) gifts for loved ones and friends. High school students usually aren’t swimming in money, most of them without jobs and without a consistent amount of cash flow. So how do you please your friends and family with little to no money? Do-it-yourself gifts!

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after that the Tooth Fairy and Santa just went out the window.

make your own holiday gifts

by Tori Ganahl

n orma

by Katie Berohn

no! But I still pretend to believe in Santa.

e tru b d e s p i op t s g s r n le i

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Ringing in the new year

“To learn more about fashion.” -Drew Turner “To get a snowboard scholarship.” -Carl Holdt, senior “To be nicer.” -John Pham “To make a New Year’s resolution.” -Melissa Duplechin

5. Chocolate coins, called gelt, are betting tokens in the spinning top game of Dreidel. 6. The middle raised candle on the menorah is called the shamus and is used to light the other candles.

Juniors Christian Barr, right, and Bree Emma, left, have very different ideas about the future of their relationship. (Photo Credit: Katie Berohn)

4. The four letters on the dreidel make up the phrase a “great miracle happened there”.

3. The word Hanukkah means dedication.

7. Due to its close proximity to Christmas, gifts are now a part of the Hanukkah tradition.

What To Do: 1. Draw or write WHATEVER you want on your mug. 2. Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. (Let it cool in the oven before removing, it’ll be very hot!)

2. There is no correct spelling of Hanukkah. Common forms are: Hanukah, Hannukah, or Chanukah.

FOR YOUNG KIDS Homemade Bath Crayons What You’ll Need: -Glycerin soap ($20 at Hobby Lobby) -Food Coloring -A Microwave -*Optional* Oils to add scent What To Do: 1. Melt the glycerin soap in (MCT) a microwave (use a microwavable bowl or dish). 2. Add food coloring (and scents if you want to). 3. Pour into a mold (ice cube trays are great!). 4. Cool for an hour, pop out of the mold and voila, you have crayons!

8. Fried foods such as latkes and jelly-filled donuts are popular to celebrate the oil that burned for eight days.

1. The candles are put in the menorah from right to left, but lit from left to right to honor the newest candle first.

8 Fun Facts About Hanukkah by Natalie Forman

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artsANDentertainment DOUBLE TAKE

maggie fuller /kate hudson

Students that look like celebrities by Natalie Forman

changdae hahm/JET LI

(Photo credit: Natalie Forman)

(Photo credit: MCT Campus)

Who do people say you look like? Kate Hudson, I really don’t see it. Why do you think people say that? We both have blonde hair and we kind of both have the same personality as well. I think we are both strong individuals. Do you like being compared to her? I am okay with that because she is pretty. Do you ever get tired of being compared to her? No, I just get it a lot.

KEEGAN DAVIS/JOSH HUTCHERSON (Photo credit: Natalie Forman)

(Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

Who do people say you look like? They tell me that I look like Jet Li. Why do you think people say that? We have similar eyes. What is your favorite Kung Fu movie? The back kick, the back kick [gives off a lot] of force, especially when hitting with the balls of the feet. How do you feel about being compared to him? When I look in the mirror I see Changdae, I don’t see Jet Li. What other similar traits do you have? Really he tries to work for the good of the people. I am all about service, I want to serve people. If there was a Kung Fu move named after you, what would it be called? The Apple Do you like Jet Li? Yes, I do like Jet Li. His appearance in The Expendables is awesome.

Natalie rudd/anne hathaway

(Photo credit: Natalie Forman)

(Lionel Hahn/Abaca Press/MCT)

Who do people say you look like? I guess Josh Hutcherson. I have been compared to Taylor Lautner too for some reason. Why do you think people say that? Dark hair I guess. Do you like being compared to them? Yah, it’s a pretty good compliment. Do you ever get tired of being compared to him? Not really, it’s a compliment.

JACOB OLIGSCHLAEGER/airEdale TERRIER

(Photo credit: Natalie Forman)

(Eugene Garcia/Orange County Register/MCT)

Who do people say you look like? Everyone always says that I look like Anne Hathaway or Miranda Cosgrove from iCarly. Why do you think people say that? I’m pale and I have dark hair. I see Anne Hathaway more [than Miranda Cosgrove] because we have the same jaw structure and the same nose. Do you like these actresses? Yeah, I have like the biggest woman crush on Anne Hathaway. Which sounds kind of conceited because people say I look like her, but I just think that she is really talented and I love her movies. What is your favorite movie they have been in? For Anne Hathaway , Devil Wears Prada. But, Les Miserables is coming out soon and that will probably top it.

(Photo credit: Natalie Forman)

(Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

What do people say you look like? They say I look like an Airedale. Why do you think people say that? Because I have curly hair and a long face. Do you like being compared to them? I don’t mind it. Have you ever met an Airedale Terrier? I have seen one, at a Frisbee game a [team mate] said I looked like one.

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WINTER ACTIVITIES THAT SUIT YOU Take this quiz to see the best way for you to have fun this winter! by Natalie Forman and Arika Rooney

nontraditional holiday traditions Students share their personal spin on the holidays by Olivia Coleman With Winter Break coming up, although it’s a time off from school, many people celebrate different holidays and follow traditions. Whether they are fun things with friends or a meaningful time with families, everyone has somewhat of a tradition around the holiday season. Because of all the diversity at Monarch, there is a wide range of holidays that the students celebrate. “Every year I have a latke party at my house”, said Jacob Oligschlaeger, “All my friends like eating latkes so we decided to just have a party.” Like Oligschlaeger, junior Marisa Sobczak also celebrates Hanukkah, but has a different tradition when

it comes to friends. “I celebrate ‘Friend Christmas’ with my friends,” explained Sobczak. “They said, ‘have you ever celebrated Christmas?’ and I said no and they said, “Well that’s a bummer,” so we started celebrating all together.” As important as friends are around the holiday time, the best people to surround yourself with are members of your family. “We read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’ and drink egg nog by the Christmas tree on Christmas eve,” said senior Emma McConville. Mackenzie Bloom also shared a fun tradition. “Every Christmas Eve we order pizza, build a fort, and we all sleep in the fort. We stopped celebrating Christmas at my Grandpa’s house when my family got too big. So me, my brother, and my sister wanted to make up our own tradi-

tion so we started building a fort out of sheets every year. Although winter break might be focused a lot around holidays, there’s always other fun winter activities people partake in. “I love going ice skating with my friends,” Bloom said. “I guess just spending time with family,” Sobczak said when asked about her favorite break activities. With Winter Break approaching, it’s that time to start thinking about what traditions you might have and

preparing for those. Winter Break is all about spending time with the people who mean the most of you, so make the most out of it!

(Graphic by Katie Berohn)

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CARTOON CORNER: FRAT CAT by Jack Howard

DALTON’S CINEMA SPOT: HITCHCOCK by Dalton Valette

PG-13, 98 minutes Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Scarlett Johansson 3.5/ 5 Stars First and foremost, this is basically a period set romance film that just so happens to be between the famed filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock (Hopkins) and his wife Alma (Mirren.) This romance takes place in 1960 when Hitch is trying to make the movie Psycho, a movie that executives at the time predicted would be a flop and would ruin Hitchcock. Adding onto the pressures of making Psycho, the Master of Suspense also struggles to reconcile a long lost passion he once felt towards his wife. The majority of the film is enjoyable, with excellent acting from the entire cast. Hopkins, as he usually does, steals the show in the titular role. The chemistry between Hopkins and Mirren is great, old pros doing a fine job of setting the mood that shows despite their differences, Alfred and Alma balance each other out. The story is simple and easy to follow and watch which can make for a relaxing viewing. However, I wish that more time of this movie was spent on the actual set of Psycho. There was a lot of potential at the beginning of the movie with meeting famous 1960’s celebrities, but then the excitement slowly fizzled out as hardly any of the film is spent seeing the filmmaking of Psycho. Plus, throughout the movie, Hitchcock converses with the spirit of serial killer Ed Gein, the inspiration for Psycho, and all these scenes are very bizarre and could have been excluded from the rest of the film since they don’t add to anything in particular. But, overall this was a fairly satisfying film. Hitchcock is enjoyable, but could have been more so.

JANUARY HOROSCOPES Astrologist in residence: Narcissa Luna After waking up one day, I, Narcissa, felt that I had obtained all the knowledge of the stars that I could ever need, despite the fact that I have never read a single book or taken a single class on anything space-related. My calculations are taken simply through observation, intuition and a small bit of guessing. Enjoy. Capricorn: (December 22-January 19) Make sure to bundle up this month, Capricorn! The chilly winds of the western dream stars bring chronic frostbite in the fingers for you this January. Although it may impair your texting abilities, it is only temporary. Mittens will serve you well during this frigid period.

Aries: (March 21-April 19) Keep your purse closed in January, Aries. Your urge to gamble may get the best of you as the silver dollar moon circles your aura. Slot machines and street games may especially draw your eye, so beware, because as soon as you place your bets, you will lose all your money.

Aquarius: (January 20-February 18) As an Aquarius you tend to be very emotional, and January will elevate your sensitivity to a whole new level. The color orange will make you especially teary-eyed this month, and any type of poultry could push you into a fit of rage.

Taurus: (April 20-May 20) Taurus tend to be incredibly stubborn, but this month you will find yourself as soft as a freshlyblow-dried kitten. All month, you will be at the mercy of others’ suggestions. Choose your companions wisely, or you may find yourself in a quite sticky situation.

Pisces: (February 19-March 20) For you Pisces, this month will bring you nothing but smiles... literally. As the tides begin to flow backwards in early January, your facial muscles will tighten up until you’re practically in full rigor! So just sit back, whiten your teeth, and enjoy the month!

Gemini: (May 21-June 20) This month, your attractiveness will be at an all time high! As the voluptuous moon of Mars enters your orbit, you will become irresistible to the mate of your choosing. With a simple bat of your eyelashes and a flip of your hair, the world will be at your feet. You lucky dog, you!

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Cancer: (June 21-July 22) I see love in your future, Cancer. However, fate has decided your love interest this month. The kid in the back left corner of your math class and you will fall hopelessly in this month.Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, the spell will be broken at midnight on January 31st.

Leo: (July 23-August 22) January will be a month of amnesia for you as the fogs of Pluto intensify. Reminders on sticky notes and helpful friends should be valued this month as you walk around in a daze of confusion. Where are your keys, Leo?

Virgo: (August 23-September 22) Your creative juices should be flowing at a rapid pace this month. Put them to good use and redecorate a friend’s bedroom without their permission! With the rainbow moon of Venus orbiting backwards, your surprise renovation should make them ecstatic!

Libra: (September 23 -October 22) Unfortunately, this month is looking bleak for you, Libra, literally. Due to the shifting of the sun’s rays in January, your ability to see colors will vanish! I highly suggest avoiding driving through stop lights this month as well as purchasing any new outfits- no one looks good in puke-green pants. Scorpio: (October 23-November 21) Take a spontaneous trip this month, Scorpio! Experiencing new foods, people, and places are a great way to start the new year. However, if you fly, your plane will experience technical difficulties, so stick to safer transportation like kayaks, rollerblades, and unicycles.

Sagittarius: (November 22-December 21) January will bring an unquenchable craving for avocados for you, Sagittarius. So stock up on chips for the coming month, and pile them high with guacamole!


Sports O-Line an Anchor in 2012 state Title run discipline, leadership prove invaluable to Coyote squad

by Charlie Light

T

he Monarch football team’s offense has never been conventional. Monarch’s backs carried the ball more often than any other high school team in the state (679 attempts). The dominant rushing attack helped the Coyotes to their first state championship in ten years, but the running game also had its own help. The Coyotes’ seven-member offensive line was an anchor of the team and helped make the difference this year for Monarch. “I almost feel the offensive-line leads the team,” said senior guard Levi Ensign. “All but one of us are returning starters. Four captains are linemen. I think that speaks to the kind of linemen we have.” Six of the seven linemen were seniors: tight ends Andrew Dorsey and Conor Fitzgerald, guards Ensign and Henry Oliver, and tackles Josh Hurst and Austin Beswick. Center Logan Shapiro was the sole junior. The most important quality the line’s leadership brought was discipline. Talk to any of these players and they’ll repeatedly emphasize their dedication to perfection. ““We follow our blocking principles and we just practice it so much that we’ve got it down,” said Shapiro. “We execute well because we’re so disciplined.” Unlike conventional offenses, Monarch’s line has one play that it runs virtually all the time. “We can run that one play with our eyes closed,” said Ensign. In a regular pass offense, linemen have to drop back to protect the quarterback. In a run-oriented offense, the linemen can fire right off the line and carry their momentum to hit the defensive players, which makes Monarch’s run-only style a perfect fit for the starting linemen. “We’re not that big. If we went anywhere else we wouldn’t be as good,” said Oliver. To be successful despite their lacking size, Oliver says his teammates can “hit [opponents] in the hip. We can just fire off and be aggressive.” Because of this, Ensign said, “size doesn’t make a whole lot of difference.” Because the opposing defense basically knew the run was coming against Monarch, the team had to rely much more heavily on their linemen than other teams. “Other offenses, if they miss a block they can still get a pass off, but without us [our offense] really can’t do anything,” said Ensign. Even with a dominant offensive line, Monarch’s success still had alot to do with the powerful Ethan Marks and the speedy Logan Soole in the backfield. Ensign says that when the line missed a block, the running backs could compensate and still manage a sizeable gain. “Ethan’s going to have to

From left to right: TE Conor Fitzgerald, OT Josh Hurst, G Levi Ensign, C Logan Shapiro, G Henry Oliver, OT Austin Beswick, and TE Andrew Dorsey pose with 4A State Championship trophy following their 17-14 victory over Denver South on December 1st, 2012 at Sports Authority Field at Mile High. Photo courtesy of MoHi T.D.C.

make a move or run someone over,” he said. The line also gives a lot of credit to senior quarterback Cole Watson. “Cole’s one of the best quarterbacks Monarch’s had in awhile. He’s big, he can block, and he can pass.” Beswick attributes much of the offensive line’s, and as an

extension the team’s, success to the closeness of the team. “Off the field we’re probably the tightest line in the state of Colorado,” he said. “It’s probably why we’ve had so much success, because we hold each other accountable.”

From left to right: G Levi Ensign, C Logan Shapiro, QB Cole Watson, G Henry Oliver, OT Austin Beswick, and TE Andrew Dorsey huddle around head coach Phil Bravo on the sideline during Monarch’s 4A State Championship victory on December 1st. Photo credit: David Andrews

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a program where young skiers aid the resort staff in tasks ranging from teaching lessons to upkeeping the facilities. Similarly to Peskind, Trenka has skied ever since he could walk and while he doesn’t have twice weekly practices, he does get on the mountain forty to fifty days per season. He even said he’ll squeeze in some time on the mountain on school days “if there is a lot of snow.” He spends those days mogul, freestyle, and park skiing, of which mogul is his favorite due to “just the feel of going down the hill”, said Trenka. Mogul skiing consists of molded mounds of snow located uniformly down the slope such that the racer must maneuver between them. Freestyle skiing encompasses skicross, halfpipe, and slopestyle. The Olympic principles for this classification are very similar to those of BMX and inline skating. Lastly, park skiing is much more stunt-oriented and involves many apparatuses such as boxes and rails. He said spending so much time skiing is worth it to him because it involves spending time with his family and friends, as they are skiers as well. Trenka’s long term aspiration with skiing is to heli-ski. Heli-skiing involves the skier accessing uncharted, ungroomed, off-trail slopes by helicopter rather than with a ski lift. In the meantime, Trenka competes in mogul freestyle skiing at Winter Park. Last winter, Trenka took second in a mogul freestyle competition. He described the premise of the competition as “where you went down, hit a jump, and then you go down another [set] of moguls, hit another jump, and then you finish”. Trenka said he would have been willing to join the BVSD ski team, had he known about it. Just like Trenka, many Monarch students are unaware of the ski team’s existence, probably because its members spend more time on the mountain than they do at school, at least from November to January.

Carving turns in obscurity

Peskind, Trenka take skiing careers to next level by Joy Wineman

O

ne does not have to look farther than a two hour drive from Louisville for pristine ski slopes. It’s only logical that many students ski recreationally, but what options are there for those students who want to take it to the next level? Junior Nick Peskind asked this question of himself two years ago before he joined the BVSD ski team. “We practice two or three times a week [at Eldora], and we get to leave school at two o’clock, so that’s pretty cool, and then there’s a race every Friday where you miss the whole day,” said Peskind of his rigorous skiing schedule. Peskind feels that even though skiing is a big commitment, it is more than worthy of his time. The team competes in giant slalom and slalom skiing. Peskind describes these types of racing as “going through a bunch of gates down the hill. Giant slalom is much faster... and then slalom is a series of quick turns.” Giant slalom is also much more downhill than slalom skiing. Peskind skied for upwards of a decade of his life prior to joining the team, but is glad he decided to join because he describes the BVSD ski team as “ [a cool way] to meet kids from a bunch of different schools because it’s not just the Monarch team, it’s the Nederland team, so there’s kids from Nederland High School, Boulder High, and Fairview, and a couple other schools.” While he is not on the ski team, freshman Michael Trenka was able to step up his game on the slopes by participating in Winter Park’s Volunteer Junior Ski Patrol program. This is

Junior Nick Peskind (left) and freshman Michael Trenka (right) have both taken their skiing careers to the next level. Peskind races on the B.V.S.D. ski team while Trenka competes in mogul freestyle skiing at Winter Park. Photo courtesy of Jack Rivolta, NYC Works Progress Administration Federal Art Project

There is no denying that skiing is a hefty time commitment, however, it seems to pay off tenfold in relationships, experiences, and general fun. Trenka and Peskind testify to this, so for student skiers looking to ski at higher levels while meeting new people, it seems that the BVSD ski team could be a good option.

Jordan Eisler: A true Catamount Eisler to continue career at University of Vermont by Bridget Anthony

O

There is an air of uncertainty surrounding the team as Eisler has discovered she has a mid-foot sprain and has to immobilize her foot for at least four weeks. The starting guard will miss around 5 games in her time out. Photo credit: Kristen

Anthony

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n November 14th 2012, at 2:30 pm, senior Jordan Eisler signed a contract to the University of Vermont agreeing to play basketball for their team after she graduates high school. She has been playing basketball for as long as she can remember and still truly loves the game. She is very enthusiastic about continuing to do something that she enjoys every day. “[My parents] put me in a ton of sports and basketball just ended up being my passion,” said Eisler. “I’ll be sitting in class and I just want to dribble a basketball. I love everything about the game.” Eisler transferred to Monarch from Legacy High School for her junior and senior years of high school and her coaches and teammates at Monarch could not have been more thrilled. “I think she has been a really nice addition to our program. It’s hard to come in as a transfer student because you don’t know how you are going to fit in or how your teammates are going to take you, and I think she is a very coachable kid with a great basketball IQ,” said Girls’ Basketball Head Coach Gail Hook of Eisler. Eisler also made a very positive impression on her teammates as well. Sophomore and teammate forward Kelly O’Flannigan said, “She plays at a fast pace and it is fun to fast break with her because if I am running hard, she is going to reward me for it.” While Eisler has been a positive impact on the team, she admits that the team has had the same impact on her, “Coaches and teammates have a huge effect on your mentality, but I have amazing teammates so that’s not really an issue for me.” When asked if she was enjoying Monarch more than Legacy, she immediately responded that she is “so much happier it is unbelievable.” Her skill is not her only contribution to the team, her attitude and intensity have seemingly rubbed off on her teammates. “She really wants to win and has a huge passion for the game,” said sophomore guard Raegen Rohn. Coach Hook agreed, “In the point guard position, I think she’s got a really good steady demeanor. I don’t see her getting flustered or too overly emotional. I think she has a calming effect for the team.” What can we expect from Eisler in the future? “Nothing but great things”, said junior guard teammate Lauren Mendicino. “She is really smart too. I think she could play professionally or do something in a different field.”

When Eisler was asked the same question, she said that academics have always come first in her family. “I want to do physical therapy,” said Eisler, “but I am really nervous. Going to high school and being a freshman is completely different than going to college and being a freshman because you are on your own and it is scary.” In just one year at Monarch High School Eisler has made a positive impact on the school and has proved that she can accomplish almost anything she sets her mind to. “There are things I saw her do out on the court last year that truly

Eisler: By the Numbers

6.6

2

37.39

80

points per game

2 pt. field goal percentage

48

3 pt. field goals attempted, only senior Alexus Johnson attempted more (57)

30.77

3 pt. field goal percentage

blocks

assists

22-6

Overall record on the season for the Coyotes. The team lost to Legacy 58-51 in the 5A state championship game

88

steals, highest on the team


Best Of The Best: Sports Movies by David Andrews

S

ports movies hold the unique power of conveying deeper messages about life through the lens of unforgettable stories that travel far beyond the court, rink, race track, or field. Sports are emotional, and a great sports movie channels this raw energy of sports onto the screen. They transport the watcher into the movie, making their heart

race, making them cry, and occasionally making them laugh to the point of tears. I have seen many sports movies in my life and I have created four categories to rank my all-time favorites. Not only did I enjoy the action and actual sports in these movies, but their heartwarming, inspirational, and sometimes hilarious plot lines reminded me of the adversity people are capable of overcoming. Watching the characters in these

most inspirational Rocky T

he iconic Rocky theme song reminds me of the first time I watched the movie, when I was 12. The image of Rocky Balboa jogging through the streets of Philadelphia to the unforgettable Rocky theme music gets my blood pumping to this day. I felt a strong connection, as many do, to the underdog story of Rocky Balboa. Balboa’s main talent is his tenacity and will to win. He is not a physical beast nor extremely intelligent. He is an archetypal underrated, underappreciated athlete. When renowned heavyweight champion Apollo Creed visits Philadelphia for an exhibition fight Balboa is suggested as someone for Creed to fight as he is a “nobody,” an easy victory. The fight is Balboa’s one chance at fame and success. His family doubts him and doesn’t even want him to continue fighting. Rocky knows that despite his previous struggles as an amateur fighter, he truly is a champion. A relatively unsuccessful boxer up until this point, Balboa seizes the chance at making something of himself, and pulls off a split decision in the fight with Creed. Bloody and battered after 15 rounds of tolling fighting, Balboa raises Photo courtesy of Metro-Goldwyn Mayer his arms in triump and calls out for his girlfriend, Adrian. Production Company The movie ends, not with Rocky as a champion but as someone who followed his dream and by some miracle of tenacity and perseverance survived against a world heavyweight champion. I find the movie so inspirational because Rocky is following his dream for himself, and himself only. Despite his incredibly long odds Balboa pulls off the unthinkable in the fight. Rocky’s ultimate underdog status and consequent success really puts this one at the top of the list. Hearing those distinctive trumpets play at the start of the Rocky theme song makes me want to wake up early in the morning, throw back a raw egg, go running, throw some jabs at the air, and fight someone

Honorable Mentions: We Are Marshall, Invincible, The Blind Side, Soul Surfer, Glory Road

Overall Quality Remember the Titans R

Photo courtesy of Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures International

emember the Titans is the perfect example of a movie that conveys a deeper message through the telling of an inspirational story. Remember the Titans also succeeds in creating dynamic, interesting characters and portrays the raw emotion behind sports that I love so much. The story follows the desegregation of T.C Williams High School in Alexandria, Virginia and is based on real events. Coach Herman Boone (Denzel Washington) is hired to coach alongside a local coaching legend Bill Yoast (Will Patton). Yoast and Boone experience tension at first as Boone is black and Yoast is white. However, together the two mold a band of brothers on the football team through team bonding exercises and shared physical pain at summer football practices. Once the team returns to reality and the normal world at the beginning of the school year they see that racial prejudices are still alive and well in their town and high school. Boone is notified that he can’t lose one game

movies struggle with their own shortcomings and adversity gives me perspective on how insignificant my struggles really are. I draw strength from the extraordinary feats of the characters in these movies. My challenges pale in comparison to the obstacles that N.F.L. offensive lineman Michael Oher overcame, for example. Having to stay up late to study is quite pathetic compared to overcoming homelessness and a crack-ad-

dicted mother on your way to the N.F.L. While most genres of movies attempt to detach their viewer from reality and provide an escape, sports movies act to heighten our awareness of our world and through their characters provide inspiration for the everyday person.

Best Comedy Blades of Glory O

pinions differ on Will Ferrell as an actor, but regardless of how much you like Will Ferrell, it’s hard to argue that Blades of Glory is not a hilarious movie. It’s not family friendly humor, but Jon Heder and Will Ferrell provide countless hysterical moments as a figure skating pair that really hate each other at first. Ferrell plays Chazz Michael Michaels, a haughty self-centered showman, and Jon Heder plays Jimmy MacElroy, an orphan who was adopted by a billionaire champion-maker, Darren MacElroy. Formerly bitter rivals in the figure skating world, the two team up after being exiled from the sport for brawling on national television. The pair manage to win the World Championship despite their conniving competition Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg (Will Arnett and Amy Poehler) and their sister Katie Van Waldenberg (Jenna Fischer.) The hilarity of the movie arises from one to one interaction between Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy. As the older and more vulgar of the two Michael Michaels embarasses MacElroy with his crude jokes and constantly Photo courtesy of Dreamworks S.K.G. says things that are so idiotic they seem funny. For example, as they leave a competition in Denver he shouts, “I love you Denver, city by the bay!” or when talking about his favorite comb, made of whalebone, he says “I love this brush more than a human child.” Overall the humor is rather crude and childish in Blades of Glory, and if you’re looking for complex humor you’re not going to find it here, or in any other Will Ferrell movie. Bottom line though, Blades of Glory provides countless hilarious moments and is off the charts funny.

Honorable Mentions: Talladega Nights, Caddyshack, Kicking and Screaming, Dodgeball, Hot Rod

or he will be fired by the largely white athletic department at the school. Boone’s team travels to the championship game without losing, a feat in itself. Boone’s assistant Bill Yoast is offered a spot in the High School Football Hall of Fame if the team loses and Boone is fired. In the semifinal game the refs are being obviously unfair and Yoast threatens to expose the scandal if they do not start calling the game fairly, sacrificing his own well being for the good of his now-friend Boone, and team. To further the drama involved after the semifinal win, team leader, Gerry Bertier is in a car accident and is hospitalized for the state championship game. All of the players on the team rally around him and go on to win the state championship in dramatic fashion. They inspire their entire town and act as a model of racial cooperation and equality. While I loved the storyline and Denzel Washington was excellent as always, it is the individual characters that make this movie

great. At first the steely Gerry Bertier (Ryan Hurst) hates Julius Campbell (Wood Harris) just because Campbell happens to be black and Bertier is white. By the end of summer training camp the two have bonded and act as an example for the rest of the team. The gigantic lineman Louie Lastik (Ethan Suplee) provides comic relief on many occasions trying to assimilate into his teammate’s black culture. By the end of the movie you can’t help but root for the team

Honorable Mentions: Field of Dreams, Seabiscuit, Hoosiers, Chariots of Fire

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Monarch High School 329 Campus drive Louisville, CO 80027

Howler Staff

Print Editor-in-Chief Aleiya Evison Online Editor-in-Chief Charlie Light Opinions Will Petersen News Bridget Anthony Features Katie Ciaglo Arts and Entertainment Katie Berohn Sports David Andrews Copy Mia Mulvahill Business Tyler Debord Reporters Anna Blanco Olivia Coleman Natalie Forman Tori Ganahl Jack Howard Ashley Litoff Conner Lund Ellie Oliver Christina Rodie Arika Rooney Dalton Valette Joy Wineman Advisor Bonnie Katzive The Howler strives to inform, educate, and entertain the student body of Monarch High School as a monthly student-produced newspaper and open forum for student free expression. The paper will also provide a forum for community opinions.

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