Jessica's Story

Embracing Resilience: A Young Woman's Journey Through Breast Cancer

Written by Jessica Fleet & Molly Andrew

Photographed & Designed by Molly Andrew

To the warriors, survivors, and thrivers of breast cancer. Your strength, resilience, and unwavering spirit inspire us all. May this book serve as a beacon of hope, knowledge, and support on your journey.

https://www.mollyzoephotography.co.uk

A little Introduction

In the world of breast cancer narratives, the stories of young women often stand out as powerful reminders of resilience, strength, and the unexpected twists of life.

As I embarked on the journey of chronicling one such story, my camera and I did our best to trace the footsteps that Jessica walked during this time; visiting her old home, sitting in the cafe she escaped to for some normality, looking in the hospital waiting room she sat in on the darkest days of her life; she fearlessly bared her scars to me, both physical and mental, I found myself delving into the life of a remarkable young woman whose courage and tenacity defied the odds.

In the pages that follow, you'll encounter the raw, unfiltered account of Jessica, a vibrant, spirited individual whose life took an unexpected turn with a diagnosis of breast cancer at a young age. Through a series of candid conversations, Jessica graciously opened her heart and shared the intimate details of her journey—her fears, her triumphs, her moments of despair, and ultimately, her unwavering resolve to emerge stronger than ever before.

As you immerse yourself in Jessica’s narrative, it's essential to recognize that while her insights are invaluable, they do not constitute medical advice. Instead, they offer a profound glimpse into the human experience marked by vulnerability, courage, and the pursuit of hope.

May Jessica's words and experiences bring solace, inspiration, and the unwavering belief that even in the darkest times, there is a promise of dawn.

" In The Darkest Times, There Is A Promise of Dawn. "

Jessica's Story

Jessica

How was your cancer discovered and what type of cancer was you diagnosed with?

My cancer was discovered by luck some would say. I say and believe my cancer was discovered by a very strong gut feeling.

I feel this is going to be a task, trying to cover all points as to why I am still here today alive and well, whilst equally trying to focus on not speaking/typing a small novel.

I first learnt that I had a mutation of the BRCA gene, a gene that at the time I had never heard of and certainly had not realised we all have. It turns out we all have BRCA genes and in simple terms, as was explained to me at the time, "BRCA genes are 'security guards,' detectors of bad cells and when they find any, they block them from multiplying and growing. If you have a mutation of the gene, unfortunately the security guards do not exist, it's a cell free-for-all party inside of you, cells whether good or bad will have no barriers and will continue to grow and multiply." Basic explanation I know, but I believe it to be super easy and understandable.

I feel as though I can't go any further without mentioning the hero of the 'tale.' My Grandads niece, (unsure of what this makes her to me but it's irrelevant as she is just a hero, my hero,) someone I hadn't spoken to or met since a child however is the biggest reason as to why I am still here alive and well today. I am not her, so I won't pretend to know all her reasonings as to why she investigated as she did, however, I do know now that enough of her/ my Grandad's family had passed away from cancer, and this alarmed her enough to pay privately and get tested for the BRCA gene mutation.

You may have guessed this part but unfortunately, she did test positive for the BRCA gene mutation, as did her daughter. Although, being the hero she is she didn't focus solely on herself after this result, instead she reached out to the family more than once to make sure we were all aware and able to make our own decisions as to whether to get tested or not. It quickly turned into a concern for us all when my father shared his positive result of the mutation.

I was twenty – four and the guidelines at the time were different to how they are now, at the time one thing that was for certain was that regardless of whether I got tested or not, the NHS would not monitor or go ahead with any preventative surgery until I was thirty, as the risk, apparently, deemed itself too little.

I remember clearly from the moment I was told, that I wanted to get tested there and then. I imagined this to have been a simple job but honestly, this couldn't have been further from the truth. I booked an appointment with my GP, only to be questioned as to whether I was sure I wanted to know - then I had to endure a one-hour genetic counselling session before being given approval to get tested.

I am not denying how helpful the informative conversation with the genetic counsellor was, but I certainly couldn't and still cannot fathom why that needed to happen before the testing, it certainly wasn't going to change my mind as to whether I wanted to get tested or not…

A few weeks later, results were in and of course, I had the mutation, the mutation that now solidified the fact I was at a much greater risk than the general public of developing breast or ovarian cancer.

It was one thing to think of being told this and to know I had five years to digest the information, but to be told at the same time the NHS guidance had changed, was quite frankly mind-blowing and not at all what I was prepared for.

The NHS guidance had changed its age restrictions depending on family history, and although I didn't know certain facts about my Grandads family tree, I certainly over recent conversations at the time had learnt and knew I would be eligible for earlier options.

I was sure from day one that I wanted to have preventative surgery, for me it wasn't something I needed time to think about, in fact, I would have been happy for them to operate on me there and then… au' revoir boobies.

However, the surgeon allocated to me had plenty to say still about the benefits of waiting until I was thirty, strongly suggesting my risk was so small it didn't seem necessary for me to be operated on so early…

I wasn't yet twenty-five, so I was sent away and told to come back in one year and rediscuss, see whether I still had the same mindset and to ensure I wasn't making an "impulsive decision out of fear."

I don't have much to say about the year that passed between the appointments because nothing changed for me, the operation was happening, and I was just simply waiting to be allowed to go ahead.

May '21 came around and I was eligible for my first MRI, pleasant birthday gift right? I had an MRI and this came back clear, with nothing at all to be seen.

A few months later was my appointment with the Surgeon I had seen a year back, it was in my mind to tell him, not ask him, that I wanted my surgery. It was perfect timing for me, I was single, living with my mother, and didn't/don't have children, the only question I had was -

'When and how can we get this done?!'

Nottingham Breast Institute, City Hospital

I must mention a question I remember so specifically in this appointment because still to this day it frustrates me, "what about breastfeeding your children?"

A) I don't have children.

B) I don't know if I want children.

C) Breastfeeding is not the only option of feeding.

D) I might not be alive if you keep these t*ts on me to breastfeed the child.

The key message in all of this, the project, and this version of my journey is to advocate for your body, you know what is right for you, more than anyone else. Whether professionals, family members, or best friends don't agree if you have a strong sense of knowing what is right for you – do it babes!

"Advocate for your body"

The appointment swiftly moved on from the breastfeeding subject and we began to discuss surgery. At this point I had already decided I wanted implants; I didn't want to be completely flat. However, to get implants I was told I needed to reduce the size of my breasts first; nothing too major, day case operation and could potentially be done by the end of the year.

I got a call not long after this appointment it feels like, from what my memory is telling me. I was staying at my brother's and sister in laws down South and remember being on my own when someone from the hospital called saying, "Your surgeon has decided to lessen his days working here which means his waiting list has increased, instead of looking by the end of the year (2021) we are looking at the end of 2022 to have your breast reduction!!"

It only took me a matter of seconds to think and reassure myself any surgeon qualified in the hospital must be able to take breast tissue out and 'sew' me back up. My surgeon was known for implants worldwide yes, but at this point, that wasn't the operation we were discussing so it didn't seem necessary to wait it out so long. I queried whether I could change my Surgeon for this operation which was not a problem. Within two minutes the phone call had ended and I had an operation date in just SEVEN days!!

I remember so vividly coming off the phone and straight away ringing my dad saying, "I don't want to have it anymore, have I made the wrong decision, I'm scared." Luckily, he reassured me rather than agreed and said I was scared, that is all, reminded me that I had been the person set on this decision for months, regardless of conversations we had previously had and all that this phone call was, was fear. (Unsurprisingly!)

When letting family and friends know the majority responded, if not possibly everyone responded with a version near enough the same as "Are you sure you are doing the right thing? You're so young, you won't have cancer yet, BUT equally do what feels right for you."

In December 2021 the breast reduction happened, and Christmas was in full swing. I spent Christmas doing my best to put to the back of my mind that they were testing my breast tissue, I had been reassured and encouraged by the people surrounding me that the testing of tissue was just an expectation rather than because they had a worry or concern.

A week or so later on January 5th, I remember looking for the Amy Winehouse documentary/ movie my brother had recommended watching. I had this urge to call the hospital just to check whether any results had come back.

Weirdly, as I was ringing the hospital, they were trying to ring me. I picked up and a doctor said "Hi, I am ringing from City Hospital, I am Dr…. and I have your breast care nurse beside me who is ……"

My mind tried to compute many things in those several moments, breast care nurse, what is this and why do I have one? Never had one before. Doctor calling, what does this mean, why not the nurses that had planned to call me?

A few minutes later, BAM, life had taken a dramatic turn.

I was now aware I had grade three, unsure what stage, triple-negative breast cancer, I needed six rounds of chemotherapy, to attend an IVF clinic to start freezing eggs and potentially radiotherapy was needed alongside a further scan to check the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else.

My Mum at the time was in the kitchen (luckily as otherwise I would have been alone) casually eating her lunch, beans on toast. I laugh as I say this because honestly, it was such an ordinary day that just changed so quickly. I remember whilst the doctor was still talking, I had ended up on all fours on the floor, crying as though I had never released a tear before in my life.

My Mum cut the call from the doctor without knowing what had been said but knew at that moment what had happened, I'm sure of it.

48 hours later, my Mum and I were sitting in an IVF clinic… total f*cking madness.

The street Jessica used to live during her journey with breast cancer

The house Jessica lived in during her journey with breast cancer

Nottingham Breast Institute waiting room, City Hospital

Jessica's Story

When you were first told you had cancer, how did that feel, how did your family react? What was your immediate reaction?

My immediate thoughts whilst still on the phone were why? Why is this happening? Why me?

I'm still massively unsure what would have been better, being called and told I needed an appointment at the hospital and supposedly knowing that wasn't a good result, or having what I did have which was a phone call with absolutely no warning.

As I said earlier, when they first told me I felt like I cried with every fibre of my being, a painful, raw cry. But then, if I am honest a complete switch happened, I became numb, incredibly numb. I quickly wanted to tell my family and friends and when I did, regardless of the emotions of others, I felt nothing, I instead nervously laughed. I think at the time, I felt I was discussing someone else and hadn't quite linked up the two.

I find this question hard to answer in terms of how my family handled the news because I am not them and on a personal level regarding their feelings, I don't have the foggiest. But regarding how they handled the news when I told them, and the conversations had over the following weeks of being told was a mixture of good and slightly difficult.

The initial week of being told was confusing as when having the opportunity to speak to my breast care nurse she explained the chemotherapy and potential need for radiotherapy was only as a preventative measure, a preventative measure to ensure any potential cells that had left the breast were going to be destroyed.

I couldn't fathom how preventative measures meant six rounds of chemotherapy, it seemed excessive and at the time not only did it confuse me, but it was also a key factor in some of the difficult conversations had with family.

It baffled me at the time as we weren't sure whether there was more cancer in my breast or even flying around my body. Yet statements of, "you don't have cancer" were being made. I felt

unsure then as to whether I was overreacting, maybe I didn't have cancer? Maybe I should feel different to how I feel? This is when Maggie's got involved; heroes that they are.

I quickly realised I needed to speak to someone who wasn't a family member or friend, someone who had a deeper understanding of cancer and what had just happened to me.

I remember walking into Maggie's for the first time and having no idea what to expect, but let me tell you, it was and is like walking into a little retreat. I was instantly seen, at the time I didn't have a particular plan for the conversation, I just knew I needed one. Pretty much instantly I raised the doubts I was having and the confusion I was feeling as to whether I had cancer, and whether my reaction and fear were normal, and this is when my whole attitude changed, knowledge became power and that stuck with me throughout my whole journey.

Walking out of Maggie's I felt a sense of new confidence, an ability to now educate people around me if they weren't understanding the situation at hand. My new attitude that was held throughout was, until I was told I was in remission by an Oncologist, I have cancer.

" Why Is This Happening?

Between being told, freezing my eggs and starting chemotherapy, let me tell you, it was a whirlwind, a whirlwind I could almost say I thrived in, cancer at that point certainly didn't stop me. I dyed my hair pink (iconic moment,) I visited my family; I had family visit me, we had a big family do in Gloucester to celebrate my Grandads 80th birthday, life seemed to have resumed yet often felt as though it had paused.

What kind of treatment did you have? And what was this experience like for you?

IVF/Egg retrieval

Some may only use this to bring up chemotherapy as this was the biggest treatment, however, I think it is worth mentioning freezing of the eggs as it was a big part of the journey and something that started within 48 hours of being told!

I was told I needed to inject myself every day, bearing in mind at this point I was petrified of needles, but I needed to do this to get the ovaries stimulated in preparation to receive as many eggs as possible.

The first night I had to inject, luckily, we had travelled to see my family. I say luckily because

my sister-in-law is a nurse and I didn't have the foggiest idea what I was doing, in the appointment earlier that day, once I had heard I needed to use needles on myself, I had switched off and had no recollection of the rest of information given. So, I asked Amy to come upstairs with me and my Mum and do the first one as a group together.

The next 19 days were long for me and Mum, every other day we had to make our way back to the clinic which was in Nottingham and at the time we lived in Lincoln.

To retrieve the eggs, I had to have a small procedure where I was put to sleep, it was a quicker procedure than I had imagined though, in fact within a couple of hours we were in and out of the clinic.

Maggie's Center, Nottingham

In terms of the procedure, it was painless, and I experienced nothing other than a few cramps afterwards.

2/3 days later a phone call was received and I was told 8 eggs were successful and 8 eggs would be waiting for me at the other end of this journey. It did occur to me not long ago that I currently have no idea where these eggs are and how I would go about using them in the future… *homework set for myself. *

Chemotherapy

*I feel as though I am flying through this and possibly missing parts, I apologise for this but honestly, if I don't skip parts, you will be reading a novel! *

My first appointment to Oncology was alone, (due to COVID) and I remember again being completely numb to the situation at hand. The speed of everything felt too quick to process. I was told in this appointment, that I was to have six rounds of chemotherapy with three weeks in between each one, I didn't have much of a reaction to this other than asking when.

The chemotherapy ward was exactly how I imagined weirdly, I suppose I may have seen it on TV in movies or series and pictured it a certain way. It had numerous bays with six chairs, three on either side and a TV in the middle playing daytime TV, usually a quiz game (it's official now, a certain TV game comes on to TV and I feel as though I am sat in that ward again!)

On my first round of chemotherapy, I tried the cold cap (which freezes your hair follicles to try and minimise the risk of losing hair, works for some, doesn't work for others) and other than having a freezing head, quite literally FREEZING I didn't feel much else. I felt completely desensitised to what was happening around me, I had taken a whole selection of things to keep myself busy during the hours of sitting, but did none of them, not solely because I felt completely zonedout but also because I hadn't appreciated the restriction having one hand and arm being as still as possible.

My first cycle took roughly five hours and I remember coming out to my Mum and feeling nothing at all, I wanted to relish in this for as long as it lasted. I remember getting a McDonald's, 20 nuggets to be precise, I had heard often my taste was going to become slightly metallic and that what I love might change temporarily (it did, Diet Coke became gross and believe me when I say I am a complete diet coke addict!) I was determined to have classic McNuggets before my taste was to change.

7UP - Jessica's temporary replacement for Diet Coke

Nottingham Breast Institute waiting room, City Hospital

A sum up of how chemotherapy went thereafter was very much, first week, groggy, second week, meh and third week, began to feel my usual self. I began to lose my hair after the second round of chemotherapy, first in clumps and then bald patches which is when I decided to act and shave the rest of it, seemed the kinder option at the time rather than watching it each day fall out gradually.

Losing my hair was a pivotal moment in my journey for me, it was and still is the hardest challenge of the cancer journey I experienced.

Don't get me wrong, I thrived being bald and I left the house bald, I wore wigs, I wore cover-ups, I did it all! But was it a look I got used to? No, not at all. I felt having no hair was a big sign to everyone that saw you that you had cancer, some would look empathetically and some, certainly children looked at me as though I was an alien in the making.

It is worth noting because let's be honest a huge side effect you see advertised from chemotherapy on adverts or when watching a programme, is sickness. I was not physically sick once, yes you heard that right, not once. A miracle within the hell of it all honestly. I felt this was important to share in case anyone reading this needed to hear it, feel reassured when I say not all side effects you hear or read about will effect experience!

Jessica's Story

Nottingham Breast Institute, City Hospital

I had to do a lot of things during chemotherapy to keep myself sane, it was a time in the journey where it would have been easy to mentally become broken. I began blogging, personally and on social media, writing out all my feelings, feelings I felt I couldn't say aloud.

I began to ring Macmillan (absolute hero) when my feelings were overwhelming and just vent everything I was feeling inside. I started taking myself to the local café/bar near my house to journal rather than doing it from my bed, I would order a lemonade, sit myself near a window and briefly feel a sense of normality.

I would colour in the evenings when unable to concentrate on TV, I had bought myself an adult colouring book called 'F*ck Cancer' which always brought a small sense of amusement when colouring. I made sure I still saw my friends regardless of how I felt, I made sure I still drove even on the days I didn't feel I wanted to.

I sometimes would take myself in my car, drive with nowhere in mind, turn my favourite music on and sing (sometimes cry) along, freeing myself again of any pent-up emotions. I took myself on walks, even if this was for ten minutes, fresh air, and listening to the birds felt therapeutic

It would have been super easy to isolate myself and on certain days this is what I felt I needed/wanted more than anything else, however, I was lucky, I had support around me that held me on these days, and made these, not so easy days, doable.

Nottingham Breast Institute, City Hospital

Jessica's favourite spot in her local cafe. Jessica's Story

The cafe that Jessica loved to journal at during her Chemotherapy.

From the first cycle of chemotherapy to the last cycle, my brother Jake rang me Monday to Friday, every week. It didn't matter if I picked up or didn't, he would call. On days where I needed to cry, he would listen on days where I was angry, he would listen but make me laugh, on days where I needed normality, he would update me with his own life and by doing so, again, make me laugh. He cheered me on daily from the sideline and it made a huge difference to how I was able to handle the not-so-strong days but also how bright my already bright days were.

Up until the last cycle this was all possible, keeping the determination and positive attitude I had was relatively easy at times, however, the last cycle rather than feeling a sense of excitement which I had planned, I felt a sense of dread. I don't have a specific reason for it, I just felt angry, drained and wanted out, wanted out of the cancer 'world.' I think the feelings I had expected to feel when I was first told about cancer began to come through at this point, anxiety started forming for chemotherapy, and the days and nights before I would feel my whole body getting anxious. I was ultimately feeling my feelings. I had to heavily rely on my parents at this point, to encourage me and almost not give me an option as to whether I was going to the last cycle or not, my parents were my team, my absolute A-Team.

I do feel in hindsight the last cycle had a lot to do with being a few days before my birthday. I knew I wasn't going to feel well on my birthday by this point, I had learnt my chemotherapy cycle quite well.

I love a birthday and a celebration, but I knew before it had even arrived how shockingly hard this one was going to be, I had no hair, and my taste at this point had completely changed (with cheesy wotsits being a large part of my diet,) and most importantly, my mental health felt hammered, unable to find the positive reasonings for many things.

The day came for the last one, my father took me and told me it was going to be ok and the nurses on the ward made a fuss, they were lovely, checking in on me every hour and saying how long was left until I could get out of there!

My Dad came to the ward for the first time at the end to take a picture with the bell, the I'M FINISHED bell, and although at that moment I felt exhausted and not too bothered, looking back, it's a moment I will never forget and a moment that will never be taken for granted.

It was official, chemotherapy treatment was over, 26th of May '22.

Hold on, don't get too excited, only six weeks until I then had a double mastectomy, no rest for the wicked is what they say isn't it?

Jessica's double Mastectomy scars. Jessica's Story

How did you approach your cancer?

I would say most of my time was spent feeling numb with the occasional outburst of emotion along the way. From an hour after being diagnosed, to about my fifth chemotherapy cycle, I felt nothing of significance, I didn’t feel hopeful, yet I didn’t feel fear, instead, I felt ready to fight.

Now don’t get me wrong, this came with the conscious decision of not looking too ahead into the future, the future at this point only did one thing, cause anxiety that I was unable to control… this led me to the decision of ensuring I only looked and focused on the present moment.

Once I reached the fifth chemotherapy cycle, the conscious decision to focus on the present moment was getting increasingly more difficult.

I felt exhausted and as a result of this, the mental guard I had managed to build, was slowly falling. Feelings started to creep in, and this is where it is important to mention the support that was around, the support that held me up throughout the not-so-numb times.

(See pages 30-32 for support references)

"I only looked & focused on the present moment."

How has your time as a cancer patient affected your life?

I am going to start this in a way I suspect most people wouldn’t expect, but honestly believe it or not, cancer has had some positive effects on my life and me as a person. I am going to list these positives below to give an easy visual representation of the not-so-bad effects of cancer.

My Attitude

My attitude towards life has become much softer than before, with life itself, but also with others and myself. I have an insight into what my psychologist would call the ‘ill kingdom,’ and this has resulted in having an understanding I didn’t once have and patience I didn’t once hold.

My outlook on age/on growing has changed, I will now go forward and encourage others to go forward celebrating their birthdays, not only because it is a day to celebrate your incredible self, but it is a day to celebrate the biggest gift of all; the gift of life.

My Perspective

My perspective on what is important has changed, the goals and expectations I once put on myself, no longer exist. I can now honestly say, that living, simply being here holds more importance than any other previous goal or expectation that I had on myself.

My anxiety before cancer held control, and held the final word for decisions I was making, whereas now, my anxiety exists but ultimately, I get the last say, I finally have control. Because of this, my current two years in remission have been arguably one of the best chapters of my life. I have been that girl who takes herself on a solo holiday, I have been that girl who solo travels, I have eventually got over the fear of needles and got my first tattoo (now on my fourth), I have made decisions that I can honestly say before cancer, I never would have.

My Confidence

Confidence and self-love, although still a challenge, I would say it is incomparable to what it once was before my diagnosis. This isn’t only on appearance, this is my inner confidence, my inner love for the person I am today, I feel grounded, eventually grounded in my own two feet, it’s f*cking fantastic. Before cancer I would be that person who needed 08375 drinks before I could allow myself to freely let go, freely move on the dancefloor, and freely be in the moment. Now, heels or no heels, tan or no tan, hair up or down, drinks or no drinks, if there is music, my friend beside me, I’m what I can only describe as ‘free,’ I’m unphased on others around me and simply high on getting to live in that gorgeous moment!

My Finances

Finance, I was unfortunately in a rut with money before cancer, it was making any decisions I made, extremely limiting. I am incredibly lucky not only to have been given the chance to have a fresh start but to also have that insight into what life feels like without money troubles and my god, it’s bliss. I honestly believe this list could go on but the points above are the points I want you to see/read that I believe hold significance. I am hoping this is no surprise to you but of course, there are indeed not-so-positive parts of getting a cancer diagnosis at twenty-five, or any age. I feel personally for me the biggest setback is the trauma, the trauma of treatment, of decisions you have had to make, the grief for your life before cancer, the slowness of what feels like restarting your life when your treatment has finished, the loneliness and isolation you feel when you are going through cancer, and the pending doom of cancer returning alongside the unclarity of the future ahead of you.

The biggest effect cancer still has on me (alongside working on being a flat girly and growing my hair out whilst trying to hold confidence and find the love of my life,) is the future decisions I know are heading my way. The decisions I now face due to my BRCA gene mutation, decisions about pregnancy, having children, using my frozen eggs, my lifetime overall risk of ovarian cancer what I want to do about that, and what preventative measures I want to take.

Rounding that up; like I have written earlier, living in the present moment holds great importance for my life to resume calm and not to become ultimately a fear fest. I must mention the other hero in my journey, in fact, the other two heroes. My breast care nurse referred me to my now, Psychologist.

Without the continuous check-ups with my care nurse throughout treatment I am unsure how I would have handled certain days, she made me laugh on days I did not see any laughter. My psychologist has spent session after session with me, working on not allowing the trauma of cancer to overtake my life, he has worked alongside me to allow me to see that life after cancer can resume, can be beautiful, can be a life you want to live again, a life you feel grateful to have.

" cancer can become just a part of you again, rather than all of you."

My first tattoo.

‘ I love you to the moon and back and around all the stars and planets.’

between me and my best friend, my Mum

Moon, Star & Planet Butterfly Lightning Bolt.

My third tattoo

My lightning bolt firstly holds significance as I went with a very special friend, a friend I made through Instagram, through the cancer community and a friend I now see for life, we both got one. Secondly, originally started by nicknacklou (if you don’t know, get to know) it holds a sense of being part of a bigger community, a representation of strength, courage, and determination.

My second tattoo

Originally when I had planned to have implants as a preventative surgery, I wasn’t going to have nipples and instead wanted to get three small butterflies tattooed on my breast to represent the risk of cancer ‘flying’ away. However, as we already know, cancer caught me and this tattoo represents the ability to grow, the ability to grow whilst still being caught.

Jessica's Story

Looking back on your diagnosis and treatment journey, what would you do differently and what would you make sure to prioritise?

It surprises me if I am honest, but I don’t think I would do anything differently!

To clarify, that is not me saying I dealt with everything superbly or there aren’t other methods I could have used to make my journey possibly easier, but I don’t regret following what I felt was right at the time. I ultimately did what felt right to me on the day(s), I allowed my feelings to be felt and I leant into my intuition and gut feeling on the days needed, the days decisions needed to be made and I honestly don’t have a stronger sense of belief in something than in my gut feeling. My intuition and gut feeling are what have allowed me to still be here right? So it isn’t a surprise it's kind of my best friend.

If I were to give anyone advice, I think the one piece I would highlight is to do whatever feels right at the time, for you. There isn’t a guidebook on how to deal with cancer unfortunately and even though others can advise you on how they dealt with theirs, your journey is different.

I think if you make decisions based on your thoughts and take the days as they come, feeling the emotions your body/mind needs, you can’t hold regrets, you can only hold love and be proud of yourself!

What did your family do during this time that helped? What would you ask they do differently?

To help, my family were there, they were involved in my diagnosis, and they tried continuously to be there, in different ways but ultimately there.

Something I learnt and something I now realise is incredibly important, is that as much as the person with the diagnosis doesn’t have a foggiest on how to handle it, neither do they, our families. I didn’t straight away do this I struggled at first but over time and looking back, I have learnt someone trying is better than not trying at all.

Sometimes, more often than I would like to admit, people get it wrong, people will offend you, people will lack understanding/empathy, or they will start to listen to you but then don’t.

It is easy to get angry at this, to be annoyed, to shut off and cause rifts in relationships but my advice to you, is to be easy on them, remind yourself they are trying, they are doing their best

with the tools they feel they have at that time, communicate with them and give them a chance

Cancer isn’t a short-lived journey, it happens over months/years, I think it is a huge help to have your ‘key’ few people in journeys that hold such intensity, such as cancer. I wouldn’t have been able to get through my journey how I did without my ‘key’ people, they held me on days that I wasn’t able to hold myself, they were involved in all the good and all the ugly, they were consistently there, they walked the journey alongside me.

In hindsight, if I could go back and ask for something to have been dealt with differently, or if I were to advise as to what I think is something that should be communicated at the beginning of anyone’s journey, is to not give forced positivity and simply listen.

It is something as humans we all do and it is only a response to loving someone, trying to protect them or yourself from the hurt the situation or conversation is causing. But it can be exhausting and not always what someone wants or needs.

I often felt I started conversations with brutal honesty as to how I was coping/feeling, but in the end, would be steered away from the conversation as my honesty would cause a response of positivity such as ‘it’ll be ok’ or at least you are young and dealing with chemotherapy quite well.’

The points made aren’t always wrong, but the key piece of advice is to allow the person to speak to you, put your feelings second and allow them to speak their truth, the likelihood is what is painful for you to hear, they are feeling significantly more.

When they talk, hear them, listen to them, say ok, agree with them, unless advice is asked for, don’t give it, unless a question is asked, stay quiet, let it be their time, support them with your ears, your time.

The A-Team

If you could have one conversation now with yourself that was just diagnosed, what would it be?

" It Will Be Okay "

That’s it, those words only.

A favourite book of Jessica's & the blanket her best friend gifted Jessica for her surgery

Is there anything specific that you learnt on this journey about yourself?

That I am strong, incredibly strong.

When Jessica was really feeling her emotions, her mum took her to a field to scream and let it all out

What three things would you tell a person who has just learnt of their cancer diagnosis?

Of course, everyone’s journey is so different with cancer but solid three pieces of advice that I believe can help anyone in any challenging situation are:

Feel Your Feelings Be Open & Honest Stay In The Present Moment

2.

Is there anything you didn’t know before your diagnosis that you wished you knew, or you think could benefit someone else on their journey?

The short answer to this is YES, absolutely, Are you ready?

Firstly, I didn’t check my boobs, I felt invincible and as though my age was protection, this is not true! My aim is not to scare people but to educate people, check those boobs gals, it may just save your life.

I didn’t know how to check my boobs which is funny really but since then I have learnt of course and when I say get to know your normal, it is that simple. Just simply get to know what your boobs feel like normally, in the shower or when laying down, choose a way and then each month just have a little feel, do they still feel how they did last month? Do they look the same as last month?

Things to look out for aren’t just LUMPS! madness that this is what many of us believe. I am not going to write a list of what to look out for because it isn’t the place but check out CoppaFeel! and maybe even order yourself a free shower sticker they offer, they’re cool and highlight key areas to look out for, or, set yourself up for a monthly reminder to check your boobies through the CoppaFeel! website.

Don’t google, if you have something concerning you, don’t google, go to the doctors! Google will make you believe you have less than 3 days left to live and that you 100% have cancer, this is not the case! If you are going to Google, at least check out the NHS website rather than a random site that holds no claim to be medically safe.

heckYourBoobs!

Resources secruoseR

There are so many resources out there to help you and the people around youhere are the ones personal to Jessica

I nstagram

My biggest resource and support system was Instagram. Social media can of course have negative effects on people’s mental health but honestly, if it is used right, it can become a huge support system. I built a community of people and some of those people have become my friends that I am still in contact with. I didn’t follow information resource pages as that wasn’t what I was looking for or felt I needed, I followed other people who were in similar situations, and at similar ages and this was incredibly beneficial in reducing the feeling of isolation.

Macmillan, I feel as though Macmillan is somewhat common for people to know of as they have social media adverts as well as TV adverts often displayed. However, I am unsure if people as well as myself at the beginning, have/had a full understanding as to just how much Macmillan can support individuals affected by cancer. For me, Macmillan wasn’t just a one-off support, they helped in numerous ways. In the beginning, they helped with finance, with what support I was eligible for whilst not working, they also informed me of potentially being eligible for a Macmillan one-off grant (which I was lucky enough to receive), as well as advising and guiding me on how to apply and fill out certain forms to begin financial support processes. They supported me by listening to me, I on multiple occasions rang their number to just speak to someone, to have someone simply listen to me without judgement, without emotion involved and with the ability to give advice and support, if wanted/needed.

Nurses

https://www.macmillan.org.uk

Also during my chemotherapy cycles, I rang them on a couple of occasions to speak to a registered nurse, from memory I believe it was on a couple of weekends when I was unable to get hold of my breast care nurse, that I was able to ring my chemotherapy ward about the concerns I had, I knew weren't emergencies, I instead rang Macmillan, Macmillan were able to put me through and always ultimately gave me the reassurance or advice I needed/wanted.

,

Look good, feel better– what an incredible workshop, although online it was interactive and was followed up by a delivery of beauty products. I remember the day I received this parcel; I am not kidding when I say it was a highlight of my week, I remember sifting through all my new goodies, trying new products and having a little motivation to try out some products on my face, something I hadn’t been doing often since treatment started.

The two major valuable lessons I took from this session and the key factors as to why I encourage anyone to sign up was learning firstly, how to avoid orange lines, especially with being a possible baldie and secondly, how to draw on eyebrows if you have lost them!

https://lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk

CoppaFeel! – I can’t quite remember how I got to hear about CoppaFeel but once I did it is fair to say I became quite frankly obsessed! I for a short while became a boobette for CoppaFeel and this was a role of being a volunteer and being a part of a gorgeous group/ community, whose main purpose was and is to raise awareness, small and wide.

https://coppafeel.org

C oppafeel! Maggie's

Also, The Lewis Foundation, Trekstock, Therapy & Cancer Research UK

https://www.thelewisfoundation.co.uk

https://www.trekstock.com

https://www.cancerresearchuk.org

https://www.maggies.org

I went to Maggie’s for a whole host of reasons as again they are very much like Macmillan in terms of having a broad range of support options. They offer so much, starting from having a person to listen to or talk to, workshops, a library with a system enabling to borrow informative books, support groups, or a personal favourite of mine that was super helpful, was a comfortable, welcoming space for my parents to wait whilst I attended my chemotherapy. If you have one local to you, my number one piece of advice is, to visit them!

Life Now

Life now is beautiful, life now is more beautiful than it ever once was, Life now represents meaning it once never had,

Life now is a continuous reminder of the gift, the gift we all are graced with, The gift of living.

Life now as everyone’s, continues to have hurdles, to have challenges, Yet life now seems possible, possible regardless of the obstacles in front.

I am happy now, I am grounded now, I am at peace now.

I continue to fear the future, I continue to have questions with no answers, What will the future hold? Will cancer reoccur?

But, regardless of these worries, these questions,

Life now always seems possible,

Life now is focused around living in the present moment and I, I am living peacefully, in this moment.

Written by JessicaFleet

Please feel free to pop me an email to postcancerbabe@hotmail.com if you want to ask anything cancer related or would like a chat for support, if I am able to, I would be more than happy to provide this.

Thank you for supporting our project and taking the time to read my story with cancer and please after this, continue to check your boobs and raise awareness where possible!

Jessica, wearing a cardigan her Nan knitted her for her chemotherapy appointments, finally enjoying her Diet Coke

About

In these pages, you'll encounter the raw, unfiltered account of Jessica, a vibrant, spirited individual whose life took an unexpected turn with a diagnosis of breast cancer at a young age.

Through a series of candid conversations, Jessica graciously opened her heart and shared the intimate details of her journey—her fears, her triumphs, her moments of despair, and ultimately, her unwavering resolve to emerge stronger than ever before.

Important Note: This book is a personal narrative and does not offer medical advice. It's a journey through experience, not a substitute for professional medical guidance.