Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
CENTENARIAN SECRETS FOR A LIFE WELLLIVED By M.J. Alexander
The first Oklahoman: Mildred Justice Hurt, born statehood day, 1907
T
heir lives read as novels. Marie Boudreau was sent to a mission school to unlearn her Choctaw culture. Haddie Payne’s husband was felled by mustard gas on the battlefield in World War I, leaving her to raise their children alone. Melvin Eckert watched relentless dust storms destroy years of work. Otis Clark fled as his house was burned, his dog killed, his friend shot and his stepfather murdered in the Tulsa race riots. Alma Quisenberry Morgan buried both of her sons, killed in action during World War II. Bob Qualls lost his sight to a pitchfork at age 10. Kristine Brown’s husband left her when she was in her 40s. Ida Turner was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 75. Yet each has survived 100 years. And now they fear little. Over the past year and a half, I’ve interviewed more than 130 centenarians for Oklahoma’s centennial. Along the way, I’ve covered nearly 6,000 miles to meet them where they live – from well-appointed penthouses to ramshackle shotgun shacks, frenetic four-generation households to sparse rooms in nursing homes.
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
Although their circumstances differ, their attitudes are remarkably similar. They are modest. Matter-of-fact. Self-effacing. Funny. And, yes, wise. Any facade they may have worn earlier in life has long since dissolved. Vera Tolbert, 103, of Holdenville summed it up: “Old age isn’t for sissies.” They realize that how we react to the inevitably of aging is up to us. Did these folks survive because they are clever? Or did they become clever as they survived? You decide. On their behalf, I have compiled 20 life lessons offered by Oklahoma’s centenarians.
1
TAKE TURNS
Our secret to a happy marriage? He’s the boss sometimes. Sometimes he isn’t. Bertha Nalley Adams, 101; celebrated 80th anniversary to Roy Adams, 101, July 18, 2007
2
WANT WHAT YOU HAVE
We didn’t have a whole lot, but we didn’t really want for anything either. Ida Lewis Turner, 101; full-blood Choctaw, 25-year cancer survivor
3
BLAME NO ONE
I’ve never had a bad day in my life. My life today, I can’t live it again so I have only myself to blame if it’s wasted. I have to live one day at a time. Ida Mae Woody Wilson, 99, retired Southwestern Bell supervisor
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
4
FORGIVE
I used to be an angry young man, full of hate for what happened to me. That anger stayed with me for many years, but I have forgiven those people. Rev. Otis Granville Clark, 104; oldest survivor of the 1921 Tulsa race riots
5
ACCEPT DIFFERENCES
God put us all on this earth together. He made us different colors, but he wants us to live together. LaVerne Cooksey Davis, 102
6
THINK PEACE
I would wish for a world without war. Dawson Gorman, 100: Trail of Tears descendant; World War II veteran, Iwo Jima survivor
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
7
LAUGH AT YOURSELF
I have so many good-looking dresses, but I can’t wear them. It’s just hell to put on pantyhose.
Greta Cottrell Woodson Storey Saye Mill Heslet, 101; divorced once, widowed four times.
8
BE HONEST
Always tell the truth.
Rose Agnes “Sudie” Musgrove Clevenger, 100
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
9
TREASURE FRIENDSHIP
I’ve saved things all my life. It’s hard for me to realize that I don’t need any of this stuff. It’s real friends that truly matter. Kristine Klostermyer Brown, 110; Oklahoma’s oldest resident
10
DEFY EXPECTATIONS
I had bone troubles. When I was 5, they didn’t think I’d live to be 10. When I was 10, they said I wouldn’t live to be 15. Boy, they’d be surprised now. Ora Reed Holland, 106
LIVING IN THREE CENTURIES
O
klahoma’s history is at once incomprehensibly ancient and startlingly new. In the land of the Spiro Mounds and dusty dinosaur graveyards, World War II-era signs hang in places of honor in the Route 66 museums off I-40. Thirty-yearold astronaut memorabilia is displayed at the Omniplex. Yet, living among us are treasures older than our enshrined artifacts. They are the centenarians. These elders are survivors, old souls in every sense. They are Dust Bowl veterans, grandchildren of slaves, wildcatters, farmhands, tribal leaders, pioneers. Their resilience is palpable. The oldest among them is Kristine Klostermyer Brown. She was born in Bates County, Missouri, on September 8, 1897, and moved with her family to Oklahoma Territory as a toddler. She is a supercentenarian, one of only 76 people worldwide with documented proof of being 110 or older. I have visited her Alva nursing home twice: in August 2006, when she was 108, and in October 2007, when she was 110. She looked better the second time around. She was seated in a wheelchair at the dining table at her nursing home, feeding herself, surrounded by younger residents who needed more help. The Klostermyers moved near Perry around the turn of the last century. “We came here to ‘prove up the land that my uncle – mother’s brother – had come up with in the Strip. He had made the Run, I think it was in ’98…My dad’s only sister lived with us, and she died of arthritis, I think in her 50s. I always expected not to live any longer than she did.” But live she did, working as an educator around the state. Mrs. Brown began teaching in a one-room schoolhouse near Perry and retired decades later as a professor of mathematics at Northwestern Oklahoma
State University. Along the way, she traveled the United States from California to New Jersey, earned a master’s degree in mathematics from Columbia University, and visited international sites from the Mayan ruins to the Middle East. She was named 1962 Teacher of the Year by her division of the Oklahoma Education Association, which noted her as “a quiet, even-tempered individual whose intellectual integrity is an outstanding trait.” At 108, when asked why she was drawn to the field mathematics, she answered: “It’s either right or wrong. Mother taught English. She always thought I would too, but my goodness, so many ways to be right, all that diagramming, and lots of writing. That was not for me.” On the eve of her 109th birthday, her breathing was labored but her mind sharp. She spoke deliberately, in two- and threeword bursts, about a hard-won wisdom. “I saw friendships are more important than anything else. I’ve learned that that is the truth. And I shall think more about things of that sort and not worry about the future. I’ve saved things all my life. It’s hard for me to realize – in fact, I didn’t realize – that I don’t need any of this stuff.” Although she is getting widespread recognition for reaching 110, her world is getting smaller. She needs help getting around. Her eyesight is fading. Her hearing is good only if the surroundings aren’t too noisy. “I can see motion. I can see the fan on the ceiling. I can see the trees being blown. I can see the birds flying around. I can see that.” When she is taken on outings, she says with a smile, “I have finally decided it’s good to take a wheelchair because I can leave when I get tired instead of having to sit there and look interested.” But she is getting forgetful. And she doesn’t like it one bit. She starts to recount a story: “There was a man who lived in Alva...”
Kristine Brown – oldest oklahoman – 110 Mrs. Brown pauses and frowns, as her thought trails off. “It makes me so mad at me. I start something but I can’t finish it.” She is grateful for the friends who visit and for her caretakers, but often thinks back to the house where she lived independently past her 100th birthday. “I have one room now. I have good food. I have a good clean bed and my laundry is done and brought back to my room. I do long for the good old days and having a house and a living room and a kitchen. It’s a little hard to think of a bedroom as being home. “ I brought her the Salt of the Red Earth book where she is featured. She was unable to focus on the photographs. I read her some of the advice given by her, and by her fellow centenarians. She gave a wry smile. “I don’t think it’s so wonderful to live over 100. Oh, I surely do not.” She left the book behind when she returned to her room.
M.J. Alexander is the author of the bestselling Salt of the Red Earth: Wit and Wisdom from Oklahoma’s Elders, published in 2007 by the Oklahoma Heritage Association. Her centenarian portraits are the inaugural exhibit of the Tulsa World Gallery at the Oklahoma Heritage Association, through December 22, and are featured in the East Gallery of the Oklahoma State Capitol through January 3, 2008. For more information, visit www.mjalexander.com.
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
11
KEEP ACTIVE
I still take dancing lessons every Friday. The movement of dancing is delightful. When you are moving to the beat of the music, you’re in harmony. It’s a wonderful feeling. Doris Eaton Travis, 102; oldest living Ziegfeld Follies chorus girl; graduated cum laude from University of Oklahoma with history degree at age 88
12
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
I eat when I get hungry, don’t eat if I’m not hungry, morning and night. Jeremiah Fields, 102
13
DO IT
I killed “I can’t,” therefore YOU can. You can do it. You can do anything. Lillie Bell Curry Blunt, 99
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
14
LIVE PURPOSEFULLY
I never did think about how long I was going to live. I just thought about HOW to live. Sarah Harmon Armstrong, 104
15
BE OPTIMISTIC
Who in the hell wants to be 100 years old anyway? Look on the bright side of things instead of the gloomy side. Make your own fun. Marian Harrison Weimer, 99
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
16
BE KIND
I try to do the best that I can. I try to be kind. Lucy Etta Benham Nelson, 102
17
PERSEVERE
I had an urge to try and get along in the world. It used to be the only recourse blind people would have is stand on a street corner with a tin cup, and that didn’t appeal to me at all. I’ve had a wonderful life. All I can say is never give up. Never give up. George Robert “Bob” Qualls, 103; piano tuner for more than 80 years; survived colon cancer surgery in 1990; now battling prostate cancer
18
ENJOY
Eat dessert first.
Katherine Kubicheck Timlin, 105
19
DON’T PROCRASTINATE
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have fixed up my house. Ima Care Maloney Wilson, 101
Glimpse Salt of the Red Earth
20
NO REGRETS
I smoked and drank and did everything. Did all the vices. I’d probably do the same thing over. Joseph Allen Niles, 99