The Miscellany News
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Streep
April 21, 2022
ceremony
Janet Song, Sawyer Bush
Editor-in-Chief, Managing Editor
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n April 19, the College announced that renowned actress Meryl Streep ’71 would be unable to attend the Alumnae/i Association of Vassar College (AAVC) Distinguished Achievement Award Ceremony, due to pneumonia. Streep was in line to become the sixth alumna/us to receive the award in this ceremony. A series of statements were released by the College in relation to the ceremony and its postponement. News of Streep’s sudden cancellation first came on social media on April 19. At 5:01 p.m. the College reblogged a post from April 18 with an update on their Twitter account, and edited a Facebook post from April 18. Later at 8:20 p.m, AAVC President Steve Hankins ’85 and Chair of Alumnae/i Recognition Com-
mittee Amy Pullman ’71 released an email to the Vassar student body, addressed to the registrants of the ceremony, the Class of ’71 and AAVC board members. “[Streep] wishes to convey that a bout of pneumonia is keeping her from the festivities, but she is so honored to be included in the day’s commemorations from the College that ordered her thinking, ignited her creative imagination, and gave her friends for life,” the email stated. “We are therefore postponing the bestowal of the award to a time when Ms. Streep can join us and we can properly celebrate her many accomplishments. As we look for a new date, please join us in wishing Ms. Streep a speedy recovery.” As of now, the AAVC board has yet to release a date for the rescheduled ceremony. However, festivities will continue for the Class of ’71 to celebrate their 50th reunion.
exhibit featured in the Whitney Charlotte Robertson Assistant Copy Editor
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n March 17, Naomi Young ’24 invited me to her exhibition at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York City. The “Listening Lab,” a multidisciplinary art project that Young began working on last summer, focuses on amplifying youth voices on the topic of the COVID-19 pandemic. Young was one of eight Listening Lab co-founders who interviewed strangers throughout the five boroughs on their pandemic experiences. As she described it, “We set up a table and two chairs in different parts of the city, and we just had people come up and talk to us. And it revolved around like, ‘How has your life changed since March 2020?’” The exhibition at the Whitney aimed to showcase the Listening Lab in an engaging and interactive way. Young came to the project through her youth counsel employment at the nonprofit organization, The Door, which helps young people in New York City by providing legal and immigration services as well as a health clinic with free STI testing, free glasses prescriptions and regular checkups. “I was a part of it because they helped me get my first job,” Young shared. “The way I see it, The Door was like an incubation space for the Listening Lab.” As The Door is well-established in New York, Listening Lab had access to many resources that kickstarted the project. The exhibition was simple and elegant, set up in an open room with floor-to-ceil-
Campus Green exhibit enthralls CDO Arts Editor
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s you walked from your 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. class, you may have stopped to wonder about the curious, randomly intersecting paths meandering whimsically throughout campus. Or maybe you took a second to pause and look at the flowers and bushes that often line our walkways. Sure, most college campuses are aesthetically pleasing, but something about Vassar’s
Volume 157 | Issue 10
postponed Vassar student’s ‘Listening Lab’
Photo courtesy of Vassar College via Twitter.
Ganesh Pillai
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
greenery feels more than that. It feels like its own, unique space walking the line between carefree and purposeful design. As it turns out, those aspects of our Vassar environment that garner our adoration have been in the works long, long before any of us even considered the idea of college. “The Campus Green: Olmsted Firm’s Designs for Vassar College” is an exhibition currently housed in the Art Library, which depicts the presumably gargantuan task of See Campus on page 4
Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany News.
holds
ing windows. The walls were paneled with Listening Lab quotations in white text. Headphones connected to iPads lined the perimeter, playing audio clips from the interviews Young and the other Listeners facilitated. “We missed the human element. I don’t have friends. All my classmates, none of them are my friends,” one interviewee from Queens said. Another interview from Brooklyn commented, “Sometimes we question ourselves. Like, why this, this See Whitney on page 6
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News.
migration
Jyotsna Naidu Guest Reporter
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n April 5, the Consortium on Forced Migration, Displacement and Education (CFMDE) hosted a Careers in Migration & Displacement Alumnae/i Panel over Zoom. The panel is part of a growing effort to formalize the study of Migration and Displacement after a correlate launched last semester in the International Studies department according to Coordinator for Research and Pedagogy Ava McElhone Yates ’21. The panel fostered increased connections with alumni to network and discover career opportunities. “The issues of migration and displacement aren’t going away. I see this program growing a lot and I know that we have students who have this correlate who are graduating who have interest in pursuing careers related to this as well,” Yates said. Yates planned and facilitated the panel along with the Career Development Office (CDO) Associate Director of Alumnae/i Outreach and Partnerships Jannette Swanson. Other organizations involved include Vassar Refugee Solidarity, Vassar Law Club
and Vassar Alliance of Women in Foreign Affairs. The panel consisted of 40 minutes of prepared questions followed by audience questions. Afterwards, students could move between breakout rooms and directly connect with alumnae/i. “We’ve seen that there’s a lot of interest from students and faculty to come together as a community [for the Migration and Displacement correlate],” Yates said. “Now that we can [come together as a community] again with events, that’s really exciting. I think it’s growing a lot of momentum on campus.” Alumnae/i connections are critical for migration and displacement careers with many of the panelists getting their jobs through prior internships, according to Sophia Rao ’22, an International Studies major with a Migration and Displacement correlate. She secured an internship with a migrant resettlement non-governmental organization, with help from Vassar alumnae/i network on applications. “Vassar has a pretty big network of people working in migration fields and I think reaching out See CDO on page 3
Inside this issue
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FEATURES
Senior Editor Monika Sweeney provides tips and tricks for fellow dairy-non digesters.
Are you an upcoming Vassar student partaking in a campus tour? Get out of here HUMOR while you still can.
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Stressed out? Annoyed at finals? Assistant Opinions Editor Ben Goth says to just fucking OPINIONS swear.
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panel
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April 21, 2022
THE MISCELLANY NEWS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITOR CONTRIBUTING EDITORS
Janet Song Sawyer Bush Monika Sweeney Olivia Watson Dean Kopitsky Alex Eisert Lucille Brewster Caitlin Patterson Annabelle Wang Will Sorge NEWS EDITORS Jacques Abou-Rizk Ben Goth ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR Ganesh Pillai ARTS EDITOR Massimo Tarridas ASSISTANT ARTS EDITOR Kai Speirs ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Doug Cobb SPORTS EDITORS Jackie Molloy Madi Donat HUMOR EDITOR Nicholas Tillinghast ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR Alison Carranza SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Acadia Case ASST. SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Charlotte Robertson ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS Sashinka Poor Sandro Luis Lorenzo GRAPHICS EDITOR Seowon Back GRAPHIC ARTISTS Tori Kim Aryn Lee Karen Mogami Ben Scharf LIVE EVENTS CHAIRPERSON ASST. LIVE EVENTS CHAIRPERSON Catherine Borthwick Will Hwang BUSINESS MANAGER Jack Rothenberg ASSISTANT BUSINESS MANAGER Chloe Gjoka WEBMASTERS Rohan Dutta Ian Herz VIDEO PRODUCTION MANAGER Grace Willoughby DESIGN EDITOR Danielle Recco REPORTERS, COLUMNISTS Carly D’Antonio Arlene Chen Katie Gebbia Anna Kozloski Gwen Ma Sufana Noorwez Sam Patz Naima Saini Anna Terry Anica Acuna COPY STAFF Glenna Gomez Jason Han Sophia Jahadhmy Tori Lubin Bryn Marling Claire Miller Melissa Roybal Emma San Filippo Hadley Sparks Mia Stein Simon Goldsmith Danny White Caris Lee Meera Shroff Ruby Funfrock DESIGN STAFF Maryam Bacchus Reese Collins CROSSWORD CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.
Sandro Luis Lorenzo/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
April 21, 2022
NEWS
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CDO holds migration and displacement alumnae/i panel Continued from CDO on page 1 to them has done me more than anything else,” Rao added. Each panelist had a different path to a career in migration and displacement, alluding to the interdisciplinary nature of the field. Some had specific classes or internships that motivated them such as Diasporas and taking an urban education initiative semester and others didn’t have any previous involvement in the field. “I didn’t know I was gonna get involved in this field until a couple of years after I graduated,” said panelist Rachel Bautista ’07. “My experience at Vassar that ultimately set the foundation for this career is learning to think about things more critically, engaging in conversations and issues in a way that I hadn’t before and really questioning the way we see things and why we see things that way, depending on you know, our perspective of where we come from.” During a Q&A session with the audience, questions addressed the emotional toll of
migration and displacement work in directly dealing with refugees and against a larger seemingly unmovable system. “My job puts me in absolutely no position to change the system,” said Matthew Brill-Carlat ’19, who currently works as a paralegal at the Kids in Need of Defense to provide legal services to kids in a federal immigration shelter. “My job is to sit in front of one child at a time and figure out what and there’s really only so much that I can do,” he said. “But what I always try to keep in mind for myself, is that if I really do those things that will make a difference in at least one person’s life,” he continued. For Bautista, tackling a variety of issues while working in multiple positions over her career has proved meaningful. For Ulloa, he found meaning outside of the office through one-on-one mentorship at the Boys and Girls Club. “I worked in a supremely broken system and transitioned to a different role because I’ve been burnt out,” Bautista said. She add-
ed, “But the reason I can do the work I do now in taking on a pro bono case to represent an immigrant is because I have this expertise of working the field.” For students looking to get involved, the panelists recommend internships and joining the CFMDE. The CFMDE was founded in early 2016 and developed a shared curriculum to address forced migration by Vassar College, Bard College, Bennington College, Sarah Lawrence College and The New School. The Council for European Studies later joined the CFMDE. This organization consists of research initiatives and an expansion of academic offerings in migration and displacement, including the recently added correlate. After experiencing reduced privileges from emmigrating to the US from Brazil, Bruna Oliveira ’25 of Bennington College was motivated to join the CFMDE. Exposure to other students’ research through the CFMDE is helpful to Oliveira who is considering a thesis on migration.
The correlate both formalizes the study and helps in job interviews related to migration and displacement in Rao’s experience, one of the first two students at Vassar graduating with the correlate. Jose Magana ’25 is considering the correlate to achieve career aspirations to help migrant families adjust to the U.S. Another hopeful is Clarissa Padilla ’25, a Science, Technology and Society major who recognizes the importance of considering migration, displacement and border through a multidisciplinary lens. Through events like the alumne/i panel, Yates emphasized, “You don’t need to leave [this correlate] behind when you leave Vassar.” A lecture entitled Understanding the Ukraine Refugee Crisis with Dr. Oxana Shevel will follow on April 28 over Zoom. In addition, Saúl Ulloa ‘15 posted an entry-level job and internship with the International Rescue Committee. She added, “This is a growing field and growing opportunities, both while you’re a student here and also after you graduate.”
VSA elections highlight importance of student voting Jacques Abou-Rizk News Editor
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n April 21, students will begin to vote today for next year’s representatives on the Vassar Student Association (VSA) and the house teams as part of the annual Spring Semester elections. As of 12 p.m. on that day, candidate campaigns will officially have closed and voting will take place until April 23. On April 23, results will be announced at 6 p.m., which concludes the third and final phase of the election process. Candidates had from April 6 to April 14 to file for positions, and campaigns took place through last week, according to Chair of the Board of Elections and Appointments Lilly Wolsk ’22. Wolsk is essentially the point person on both the elections and any appointments made throughout the year. She also works with other board members to create the election through a software called Simply Voting, with help from the CIS Department. Running unopposed for VSA President,
Julián Aguilar ’23 pointed out the importance of proposing legislation for substantial change in the community as the only recognized body of students that can directly influence Vassar’s policy and practices. In a written correspondence, Aguilar said, “This level of involvement is huge, and as we’ve seen this past year, can produce so many tangible benefits for students.” Aguilar has spent three years in the VSA as a First Year Representative of the Committee on Admission and Financial Aid, College Planning Senator and Co-Chair of the Constitutional Commission, respectively. He added, “Elections are the way for the student body to both send a message to the administration and the VSA regarding what their priorities and expectations are for the upcoming year and as a way to continually check the VSA to ensure that they remain productive and fulfill their responsibilities to the greater student body that they represent.” Wolsk said, as a voter, she enjoys learning about candidates that interest her. “I
personally love reading people’s candidate statements and seeing what directions people want to take VSA and house teams in the coming year,” she shared. She continued, “As a senior who held elected positions my sophomore and junior years, I’ve always participated in the elections and it feels fitting for me to be working behind the scenes in my final year.” However, Wolsk said that fewer people were interested in filing for this year’s election, especially for house team positions. She explained in a written correspondence, “The same was true last year, a lot of house team positions had no one run for them and had to be appointed over the summer. The pandemic has been very hard on house teams and the ways they are able to engage with the first year class.” Wolsk added, “There are also just less people running in general, again not compared to last year but my first year, for example, and we have a lot more uncontested races even for big roles like VSA executive board.” Aguilar said there are three possible ex-
planations for the decrease in student filings: the VSA doesn’t engage and communicate with the students as much as they should, the VSA’s off-balance division of labor turns people away from participating, or the large size of the body makes it hard to have competitive elections with so many niche roles. He said, “[As] of now, there are about 105 roles that make up the entire VSA. Getting 105 roles to be filled and spark competitive races with a student body of about 2,400 students is extraordinarily challenging.” Wolsk said she has enjoyed putting together a new voting software for the election. “I hope that when the time comes we get a lot of voter turnout,” Wolsk said. “It’s very easy to vote, it takes about five minutes to fill out the ballot that I will email out, and the more people that vote the better representation we have of what students want.” Regardless, Wolsk added that with voting time rapidly approaching, students should take advantage of the opportunity to voice their support.
Jacques Abou-Rizk/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
ARTS
Page 4
April 21, 2022
How the campus was created: A reflection on new exhibit Continued from Campus on page 1 creating a campus. A space that solely contained all necessary buildings may have been sufficient, but how to make it one in which students felt comfortable proved challenging. As you walk into the exhibition, you are greeted with walls full of older blueprints and designs for specific areas across campus. To provide an introduction to Vassar’s early campus planning, I flipped through the available research articles on the topic. John Charles Olmsted was originally at the helm of design beginning in the 1890s. “J.C. Olmsted applie[d] principles and rules governing convenience and design to Vassar.” This was done through instituting many key design choices into shaping a space in its most nascent period. Buildings were to be spaced out, with plenty of sunlight. Flowers and bushes would line the walkways across campus, not overly concentrated in one area, but purposefully placed
Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany News.
and connected with various buildings so as to “seem to belong to [them]” according to Yvonne Elet. Trees would be likewise planted with the intended goal of a soft, canopy-like covering that did not block the sun entirely, but provided patches of shade and a general cooling effect. It is from this phase that the rest of the exhibit takes off, as it is primarily concerned with the passing of the design baton from J.C. Olmsted to business partner Percival Gallagher. Gallagher, as the exhibit demonstrates, continued in the convenient design mindset of Olmsted, while himself also contributing to extremely valuable projects in his own right. The wall directly to the left as you walk in details a sketch of Blodgett Hall and surrounding areas. Gallagher oversaw the gifting of Blodgett and the significant task of conducting a topographical survey of the area. At the time, this was no easy feat. Gallagher’s contributions represented a telling step forward in the care and thought given to the designing of campus environments. As I scanned the wall from left to right, the next crucial contribution that Gallagher partook in was the emphasis on euthenics, a subject to which Blodget Hall was originally devoted. The exhibition defines the subject as “the application of the sciences and liberal arts to domestic and community environments.” This, to me, sounded like a perfect summation of Vassar’s M.O. as a whole, the idea that students can take the principles of learning acquired at college and apply them to the real world, making it a more inclusive and comfortable space for all. This section of the exhibit serves to demonstrate that such a mindset has been linked with Vassar since its very conception. Utilizing this idea of euthenics, Gallagher continued along a similar vein as Olmsted before him, planning for winding, intersecting walkways across campus that would be lined with a wide variety of flowers. This part of the exhibition similarly details the drawings and sketches of the area and campus at this early stage. The final section of the exhibition re-
Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany News. gards Gallagher’s contributions to the area around Skinner Hall. The right wall of the exhibition reveals the ways in which Gallagher and planners adapted to new issues that could impede progress of the campus design, most notably the rise of the automobile. With this new technology growing extremely prevalent in the daily lives of Americans, adjustments needed to be made to allow for inclusion of this new phenomenon. With regards to Skinner Hall specifically, Gallagher and Vassar’s chair of botany Edith Roberts had to decide the best way to allow for parking while also preserving the natural feel they had been so keen on cultivating. As the exhibition puts it, “Gallagher cleverly and deftly thought about the paintings in relation to Robert’s garden.” He worked through this issue by allocating space for a parking lot by the building while simultaneously setting aside space for a garden. This concluded the written section of the exhibit,
and with the rest of the time I was there I enjoyed getting the chance to view all of the vintage photographs of Vassar’s iconic building at the turn of the century, old sketches of design plans and the numerous books on display. The main takeaway that I am leaving this exhibit with, and presumably its intended message, is to appreciate how instrumental efforts during Vassar’s early period were in creating the space that we all know, love and interact with every day. The layout of our campus was not instantly decided. It is the product of careful and thoughtful planning over the span of decades, forged with great scrutiny given to even the most minute of details. When looked at as a whole, it is clear to see that these efforts added up to something truly beautiful. With spring finally here and students congregating en masse on the lawns outside, it has never been more clear just how successful this century-long project has been.
Yung Lean’s ‘Stardust’ sees rapper exploring new style Massimo Tarridas Assistant Arts Editor
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n terms of both his artistry and personal life, Swedish rapper Yung Lean’s career has been a tumultuous one. Starting out as a cloud rapper in 2013 with plenty of vaporwave influence on albums like “Unknown Death 2002” and “Unknown Memory,” he has since transitioned into more of a singer-songwriter. In the midst of producing his third studio album “Warlord” in 2016, Lean suffered a mental breakdown and an overdose. This hospitalization coincided with the death of his manager and friend Barron Machat, all of which was covered in the 2020 documentary “Yung Lean: In My Head.” His recovery and evolution have been fascinating to watch, with Lean developing side projects Död Mark and jonatanleandoer96 to release punkier and more balladic styles of music, respectively. He has shown himself to be a much more versatile artist than many first gave him credit for. With his latest release “Stardust,” Lean switches influences towards an album that is happier than his output of the past few years. While his music usually is best suited for a rainy day in a darkened room, much of this new material is more appropriate for playing through the AUX cord during a sunny car
ride. The change in energy is evident from the first track, “Bliss,” a collaboration with FKA Twigs which draws its lifeblood from a constantly moving, groovy baseline and ’80s rock drums. Lean’s delivery on the track, and this is true of the rest of the album, is different—still deep-voiced and awkwardly tortured, but now it’s also somewhat playful and reenergized. Twigs’ appearance is easily the best of all the guests included, providing a complementary melodic counterpart to Lean and a catchy chorus. “Paradise Lost” with Ant Wan is another successful col-
The beat on trip is delightfully upbeat, employing plenty of hyperpop tactics like fluttering drums and a shrill synth lead. laboration because Wan raps his verse in a smokey Swedish accent that pairs well with Lean’s unique singing. It’s unfortunate that the other collaborations don’t quite coalesce
as much as they could have, as it means that the best songs are usually ones where Lean is working alone. I most anticipated two production credits from Skrillex on “Lips” and “SummerTime Blood,” the latter of which also features Bladee and Ecco2k, but they’re blandly crafted songs for someone who is known for explosive EDM. “Lips” is just lazily written, with an insipid chorus and boring verses, and an equally tiresome beat to boot. “SummerTime Blood” is the better of the two, but it’s really more of a Bladee and Ecco2k song as Lean offers a flow we’ve heard too many times before. The worst song on the album is easily “Starz2theRainbow” with Thaiboy Digital, again because of Lean. Thaiboy is smooth, but Lean sings every line totally atonally, his voice cracking with every utterance of the hook. Lean’s vocals are so surprisingly bad that I’m not sure how he justified this creative choice to anyone else, even if we take into account his history of idiosyncratic singing. Strong highlights from “Stardust” include “Trip” and “All the things,” coincidentally perhaps the two most high-energy tracks. The beat on “Trip” is delightfully upbeat, employing plenty of hyperpop production tactics like fluttering drums and a shrill
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
synth lead. “All the things” starts slow, but eventually builds towards a euphoric techno climax that goes—for lack of better words— really hard. The last third of the album resolves delicately in a four-song run that, after the disappointment of “SummerTime Blood,” returns to the kind of structureless songwriting that Lean demonstrated his proficiency at in his 2017 album “Stranger.” Overall, I’d say squarely half of the songs on “Stardust” are good—the other half wavers at the boundary of pleasantly listenable, with only one truly bad song. The runtime wraps up at a quick 35 minutes, making this album a worthwhile listen, if only to pick out the ones that belong on a playlist.
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
FEATURES
April 21, 2022
Page 5
The Scoop: A lactose-intolerant editor’s guide to life Monika Sweeney Senior Editor
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y favorite foods include, but are not limited to: mint chocolate chip ice cream, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and black cherry ice cream. Sensing a theme here? Unfortunately for me, and 70 percent of the world, apparently, ice cream and other dairy products do not love me back.
While some people suggest giving up dairy altogether, I believe they just haven’t found an ice cream worth fighting for (e.g. Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey or Häagen Dazs’ Coffee). To be clear, I’m not saying the three-dayold chocolate ice cream in the Deece is necessarily the hill that I want to die on, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to spending 87.6 percent of my day at Sweets investigating the latest ice cream flavors. Clearly, I take my doctor’s recommendation of eating 3 daily servings of dairy very seriously. To accomplish this noble task, there are some necessary precautions that one in a predicament such as mine must take. Without further ado, here are my tips and tricks for navigating a dairy-filled world.
Praying
for
Kai Speirs
Assistant Features Editor
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’m a firm believer in the seasonality of literature. I believe that there are perfect winter books, perfect books for rainy days and perfect books for hot summer-like days. For me, the specific state—be it physical or mental—in which I read literature of any sort profoundly affects my attitude towards said literature. A good book multiplies in its goodness under the right reading conditions. Recently, a few essays by French author Albert Camus have ridden this past weeks’ heat wave with me, and I found them to be perfect for getting excited for the fast-approaching summer heat. A couple weeks ago, while musing in the basement of the library during a rainy evening, I picked up a bright orange book containing a collection of Camus’ essays: lyrical ones at the front, critical ones at the back. These 19 lyrical essays total 150 pages of the most beautiful writing I have read in a long
Let me introduce you to Lactaid. These small, expensive and chalky tasting pills will be your best friend and life saver. Always have them on hand––not just on hand, but in every jacket pocket, backpack pouch and desk drawer. You never know when the Deece is serving tortellini or your department luncheon features caprese sandwiches, piled high with mozzarella. Plus, do you really want to turn down your roommate when they offer you the rest of their Twisted Soul bubble tea? The obvious answer is no, and the solution is simple: invest in Lactaid and buy your way to happiness and freedom. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness clearly never knew the joy of discovering these magical little pills. Side note: Be sure to throw away the wrappers immediately after use because there is nothing worse than rummaging through the pockets of your pants, jacket and backpack only to pull out an empty, half-ripped-open lactaid packet that has likely gone through the washer and dryer more than once. As an extra precaution, I recommend hiding Lactaids across campus so that you, or a fellow dairy non-digester, can enjoy their ice cream in peace. This article isn’t sponsored by Lactaid, but I wish it was, because at $18 a box, I spend more money trying to safely
warm
eat ice cream than I do on textbooks in a semester. My next piece of advice is simple: switch it up. Add a splash of oat milk to your tea, or grab a coconut-based yogurt from Oasis once in a while. Your stomach will thank you and perhaps show its gratitude by being slightly less agitated the next time you try to eat pizza and mozzarella sticks without a Lactaid (or two) on hand. Have I mentioned
how important those are? Reread Point 1 for a reminder. Similar to Lactaid, it is crucial to have a handful of Tums floating around. I highly recommend the Assorted Berries container, not the smoothie flavored one––unless you want to be chewing strawberry-banana flavored dust while your stomach is already furious at you for getting that fifth serving of baked ziti from Home. Tums, unlike Lactaid, can be snagged from the vending machine in the Old Bookstore and for the low price of $3.99. Plus, you can use VCash, which I like to tell myself is Monopoly money that doesn’t count. Another viable option? Simply convince
weather
time. Hailing from what was once French Algeria, Camus’ lyrical essays carry the imagery of summers spent on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea–they smell of summer breeze and feel warm under bare feet. This North African setting is key for the seasonality of Camus’ writing, and through his exaltation of his home during warm months, I found myself reveling in our very own humid and sea-lacking Poughkeepsie heat. In one essay titled, “Nuptials at Tipasa,” Camus outlines a sort of solar paganism as he marries the sun and the sea in one summer day to remember. It’s a very colorful essay, sharp as well, in its description of overgrown ruins, a sandy beach and fruit at a cafe. Lucid descriptions of summer scenery dance with philosophical daydreams as Camus urges us to love life and not feel shame in the endless pursuit of such simple, yet profound, pleasures as basking in the sun and throwing ourselves into the sea. The essay tosses readers in a sea of lyricism so refreshing that it feels just
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia.
with
Monika Sweeney/The Miscellany News.
Albert
as good to sink under the cascade of words as it does to lift your head above the water to feel the radiance of sunlight’s simple pleasures. “I must be naked and dive into the sea, still scented with the perfumes of the earth, wash them off in the sea, and consummate with my flesh the embrace for which sun and sea, lips to lips, have so long been sighing. I feel the shock of the water, rise up through a thick, cold glue, then dive back with my ears ringing, my nose streaming, and the taste of salt in my mouth. As I swim, my arms shining with water flash into gold in the sunlight, until I fold them in again with a twist of all my muscles; the water streams along my body as my legs take tumultuous possession of the waves—and the horizon disappears.” (59). Another essay, “Summer in Algiers,” brings new meaning to the simplicity of that carefree summer life under the sun we all crave. Preluding his later philosophy for which he is most widely known, Camus shows his disdain for dogma, ideologies and abstractions, instead calling for a love of the real and sensuous world we now inhabit. “There is no superhuman happiness, no eternity outside the curve of the days…between this sky and the faces turned toward it there is nothing on which to hang a mythology, a literature, an ethic, or a religion—only stones, flesh, stars, and those truths the hand can touch.” For Camus, life under the sun contains enough truth; why should it be decorated with excess? I fear that I am beginning to paint Camus in a reductive manner—one where he is simply a soothing voice that praises nature and life lived simply. Camus calls for the opposite. Nature is not soothing, the nature Camus
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
your body that you aren’t actually lactose intolerant. If you’re unlucky enough to share this struggle, I guarantee family, friends and especially siblings have joked that lactose intolerance isn’t a real thing. At this point, there’s only one thing left to do: embrace it. Just tell yourself you can eat dairy, and do it. I’d like to say this is tried and true, but in my experience it has been tried and untrue more times than I’d like to admit. But who knows? Maybe you’ll have more luck. Lastly, if you’re going to eat dairy, make it count. Forget the clumpy-looking banana cream pie ice cream from the Deece or the bright blue, artificial birthday cake flavor that the corner store sells in pints. When you’re at the Deece waiting for your extra cheesy quesadilla to finish pressing, don’t forget to add a dollop of sour cream on top. But don’t stop there. While you’re at it, get yourself ice cream sundaes piled high with whipped cream, chai lattes from Crafted Kup and a whole margherita pizza. You deserve it. Next time you’re hesitant to go for your third ice cream cone of the night, I say pop a Lactaid, say a prayer and start scooping before the Deece runs out of mint chocolate chip ice cream again and tries to pass off rum raisin as an acceptable ice cream option.
Camus
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia. knew was cruel: it was scorching hot, made of deserts devoid of meaning and an indifferent sea, which did not change tides with the tumultuous 20th century. Camus would not have wanted us to lose ourselves in summer day trips to the beach nor lose our sense of self while exploring wind-chiseled cliffsides dotted with flowers. Rather, it is in moments like these that we find our truest sense of self and enjoy the overwhelming power of life lived in excess. So for this summer, which is astonishingly close, I cannot recommend picking up Camus’ work enough. If not, live it up in your own way: you’d be performing his philosophy more poignantly than by simply reading it. “The earth! In this great temple, deserted by the Gods, all my idols have feet of clay!”
FEATURES
Page 6
Vassar
student
Continued from Whitney on page 1 is happening to me, you know? Life can be hard sometimes, you know?” In the center of the room, chairs were set up in rows, facing a table with two microphones. Every hour, for half an hour each, a Listener sat down at one chair and invited anyone from the room to speak into the opposing microphone, replicating the conversations they held in spaces across the city. “I think that was the most interesting part,” Young said. “We had had a previous
featured
element of the exhibit and made it a very memorable experience.” Hesitant at first, I found the courage to approach the table. Anonymously, in front of a collection of strangers, I spoke about my experiences since the beginning of the pandemic: my parents’ divorce, graduating high school and moving away from home. Talking out loud in this manner was much easier than I anticipated, and, in many ways, freeing. Slowly, others started to walk up to the table as well, sharing their
“It was helpful to them, and I’m glad that I could help them, but it’s also helpful to me, that I could find empathy within myself and find the ability to give people space,” she said. “The project has helped me become a better listener.” exhibition, and it was much smaller. And it was good, but someone can go through that in five minutes. But seeing a live conversation…that added a really interactive
stories into the microphone. On the topic of interviewing strangers, Young said, “I’m just naturally a conversationalist, so it wasn’t too hard for me to
April 21, 2022
in
the
get into it. It was more so just like, being fine with waiting. Because we could set up a table and wait for thirty minutes, and no one [would] sit down.” Once she got someone to join and talk, however, Young was completely in her element. “Honestly, sometimes [the rest of the group] would get mad at me because I would go on for too long,” Young laughed. She mentioned that she enjoyed the conversations she had with strangers and was very comfortable continuing the discussion. She especially appreciated it when people really opened up. “There were a bunch of times where I would be talking to someone, and they’d start crying.” Young mentioned that such emotional experiences were just as important to her as they were to the interviewees. “It was helpful to them, and I’m glad that I could help them, but it’s also helpful to me, that I could find empathy within myself and find the ability to give people space,” she said. “The project has helped me become a better listener.”
Whitney “...seeing a live conversation, that added a really interactive element of the exhibit and made it a very memorable experience.”
Overall, Young’s experiences with the Listening Lab were overwhelmingly positive. “I started for the money, and then I stayed for the experience,” she explained. She’s incredibly proud that the project made it to the Whitney. “From the beginning, that was our biggest goal. We were like, we can’t even reach this goal, that’s how big it is—we’re going to try our best, but it [was] just something to motivate us,” she explained. The collection of Listening Lab conversations can be accessed on their official website.
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
April 21, 2022
HUMOR
Page 7
Breaking News
From the desk of Madi Donat, Humor Editor
Misc Humor Editor sues Bon Appétit dining services for whatever the hell was in that pesto at Express last week
The Nature Report: The Great Cherry Blossom Watch Nicholas Tillinghast Cherry Amour
I
’ll admit it: The cherry blossoms blindsided me. I knew one of these days they would show up, but not when or where or how or why. One day, they weren’t here and then the next, there were all these pink + white trees everywhere. Now that they’ve arrived, I’ve been staking out in the bushes with the binoculars to see every petal fall in the Cherry Blossom Watch 2022. It was a tumultuous first week for the trees, having battled rain, wind and thunder all of last weekend, but it seems like they’ve fought through it and have held onto most of their petals. For some additional info on cherry blossoms, I looked to the Washington, D.C., cherry blossom website. Theirs bloomed a few weeks before ours, and their description of their Cherry Blossom Watch 2022 is more dramatic than anything I have ever written. “It was not all smooth sailing,” the website reads. “A deep freeze on March 14 killed off the saucer magnolias, although it left the cherry blossoms untouched. Another freeze on March 28, when the cherry blossoms were still in bloom, did some damage to the cherry blossoms, but not as much as might have been feared.” Poor saucer magnolias. They deserved better. On an unrelated note, if you haven’t been following my mulch paranoia these past few weeks, I’ll sum up the situation very quickly. I’m concerned that these far-reaching mounds of mulch appearing around campus will eventually grow to cover the entire campus until we eventually change
our name to Mulch University and become a college for geese. I’m going to address that story once again this week and I’m gonna start by saying sometimes we do things that we regret. Sometimes we compromise our morals when we shouldn’t. I’m no saint. This past week at the greenhouse I was asked to spread out a pile of mulch behind the College Center. And I complied. I pushed that mulch out to every corner of the flower bed. I am deeply sorry to anyone that I have disappointed this week, and I hope that I can be better in the future. All my morals just seem to vanish in the presence of that crisp $13.20 an hour. Saturday afternoon, I suspended my cherry blossom watch to do a different kind of watching. My roommate and I took a trip across the vehicular divide to finally see those Vassar baseballers do their thing. As we were walking by the home run fence, I caught sight of a big bird roaming the sky. Could it be the America bird? Right before our American game? The bald eagle was flapping its wings, almost as if to say, “Play the baseball.” How perfect. Once we sat down, we quickly learned that we didn’t actually get there at the start of the ball game like we thought (whoops). It was the fourth inning, and we were already down by three runs. We didn’t have time to stay for the whole game, but while we were there, Vassar scored once and one of the Skidmore outfielders accidentally threw a ball right into his pitcher’s face, which was really funny. Other than that, though, not much happened. We said goodbye to the baseball
dogs we had met and left after the seventh inning. I was battling the harsh weather the rest of that day. They say that the month of March comes “in like a lion and out like a lamb,” but I guess the whole lamb thing goes out the window once April starts. I was curious what sort of fun things they say about the
month of April besides the “April showers” line, so I found myself in the “April weather lore” section of the Farmer’s Almanac website. I learned some valuable wisdom there, such as “a cold and moist April fills the cellar and fattens the cow.” Just remember that the next time you complain about the weather this month. Think about the cow.
Photo courtesy of Susanna Shull ’23.
Amtrak experience sends train connoisseur off the rails Alyssa Willeford
Journalist in Train-ing
T
his weekend found me traveling on Amtrak once again. Something keeps me coming back to America’s favorite (and perpetually slowest) railway company, whether it’s the cushy but slightly stained seats, the empty coffee cup always present when you sit down or the opportunity to bond with the window-seat passenger by snaking your charger across their knees. It’s hard to describe, but just as hard to forget. Train travel is environmentally friendly, safe, and almost never involves invasive and yet strangely sensual full-body patdowns, so what’s not to like? The first Amtrak train departed from Washington, D.C.’s Union Station in 1971 and, despite some minor equipment-related delays, is certain to arrive at New York Penn any minute now. Since then, Amtrak has been delivering train service to all parts of the United States, with regular trains except on Sundays, holidays, alternate Thursdays, when Mercury is in retrograde and if the layer of rat droppings in Penn Station gets too thick for travelers to fight through. If this miniscule amount of uncertainty is still too much for you (you wuss), you can simply insure your Amtrak trip for an additional $377.29. This provides you with an incen-
tive not to simply hop off the train and walk, which is almost always faster, but also very dangerous. Safety first! Due to intergalactic laws outside of Amtrak’s control, all travelers, even those from Houston to New Orleans, are required to transfer in New York, with a layover too awkwardly short to do anything interesting but much too long to spend hanging around the Moynihan Train Hall. This means that you will likely become familiar with the area of New York just outside Penn Station, famous for its fascinating sidewalk stains and for drivers who, if they see you hurrying across the street, will actually speed up in an attempt to transform you into a Midtown specialty: dollar pizza. Incidentally, this same dollar pizza makes an excellent snack to enjoy while your train is delayed. Due to its method of production, you can be assured that it is a completely renewable resource. But how do you keep yourself entertained on the train? Of course, classic train games are always entertaining, like guess-whatstate-we’re-delayed-in (answer: New Jersey) and Mommy-what’s-that-man-doing-bythe-side-of-the-tracks, but you can also connect to the blazing slow Amtrak WiFi to enjoy some web surfing. If you attempt to load an even moderately resource-intensive website, such as the promotional page for
Courtesy of Shutterstock. the smash-hit movie “Morbius,” it will finish downloading at roughly the same time you pull into Penn Station. This, in turn, will occur at roughly the same time that the Earth is consumed by the Sun—but watching the little progress bar fill up is entertainment in itself, right? Another thrilling activity is to take in the sights along the way. Simply by looking out the window, you can see the many and varied cities and car dealerships of New Jersey, though why anyone would choose to do so is beyond me. One thing that’s sure to pique your interest is observing the architecture of the train stations you pass through. For example, Washington, D.C.’s Union Station features large galleries and girthy, vaguely fascist columns, and Penn Station itself is
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
famous for being the largest building in the world designed by rats. Just keep your eyes open, and you’ll see all kinds of fascinating things! So that’s traveling by Amtrak for you. There’s no better way to begin your journey from Poughkeepsie than by getting onto one of their trains, although unfortunately doing so does have the drawback of ensuring that said journey will never end. Still, you’re sure to encounter all kinds of amazing things, things you’ll want to tell your grandchildren about. Of course, to have grandchildren, you’ll need to meet someone nice first…so try to drape that charger just a little more teasingly across your seatmate’s knees. After all, life is just like Amtrak: You never know where it’ll take you!
HOROSCOPES
HUMOR
Page 8
April 21, 2022
Anthony Lanzillo Geocentrist
ARIES
March 21 | April 19
TAURUS
April 20 | May 20
GEMINI
May 21 | June 20
CANCER
June 21 | July 22
LEO
July 23 | August 22
The stars have told me that this week, you’ll open PB’s Sunday email fast enough to be the first to identify the Mystery Picture. The week after, when she mentions you in her email, you’ll feel horribly, unavoidably ashamed. Sorry to be the one to break this to you, but destiny is destiny. Your mother was wrong to say that to you, and there’s no easy way to repair that relationship. Consider, though, if it’s something that you want repaired.
I just told your child something different in the space above, but that advice is for them, not you! Here’s your advice: it’s not your fault, you are right, and really it’s a problem with their generation, not your parenting. You did everything right. You are blameless. Vere Virginis Mariae. Some people insist that Vassar is indoctrinating its students with spooky ideas, like “Communism” and “patterns on patterns.” But I think that nothing could be further from the truth! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to watch two hours of a pulsating spiral for my Econ class.
Due to a quirk of colonial geopolitics, there is an 800 mi² patch of earth between Egypt and Sudan that is unclaimed by either, and thus is entirely lawless. The stars don’t say you must move…but, hey, you’ll graduate eventually.
Have you reached the point of the semester where procrastination is boring? It’s almost August 23 | easier to just do the work you’re actually supSeptember posed to do. A tip: Try reviewing your Google accounts’ privacy settings (or writing horo22 scopes). VIRGO
LIBRA
The stars whisper to me about your future. But, to be honest, they also whisper about a lot of other more important things. We spend, like, I don’t know, four seconds on you tops? Not trying to burst your bubble, just thought you should know. hugs+kisses xoxoxo!
SCORPIO
Look at the back of your hands. Wiggle your fingers: can you see your tendons flexing? Isn’t that cool? Make sure you appreciate your hands some more before tomorrow morning. Don’t worry about it.
September 23 | October 22
October 23 | November 21
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21
CAPRICORN
December 22 | January 19
AQUARIUS
January 20 | February 18
PISCES
February 19 | March 20
Poetry Corner Anna Kozloski
Lool There was an old woman named Lool Who asked to partake in a duel. When I shook my head no, She delivered a blow Aimed right at the family jewels.
]MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Some people use horoscopes to guide their investment decisions. That’s fine, but let this horoscope guide you to an even more secure financial state: Become a sugar baby! Vassar isn’t called the Ivy League Whorehouse for nothing!
The history of constitutional law is one where the Supreme Court progressively gives itself more power while saying that only they can interpret the rules. Brainstorm how you can claim to be the ultimate arbiter of the rules in your life.
Life is like a box o’ chocolates: If ya try to eat everything at once, you’ll get a tummy ache. Instead, give your life away to other people with no regard for your own wants and needs; this won’t be maladaptive at all!
This horoscope is a wildcard +4, but I played a reverse card. Please send four horoscopes to Anthony, care of Vassar College Dept. of People We’re Trying to Expel But Can’t Because of Incriminating Blackmail.
HUMOR
April 21, 2022
Admissions Caris Lee and Nick Villamil Too Scared to Admit
A
s college decision season heats up, we have had the privilege of seeing more flocks of prospective students and their guardians following a current Vassar student—that special breed who is able to expertly display both the virtues of the college and an impressive ability to walk backwards. Personally, I’ve had three memorable interactions with these droves of people. The first interaction is unfortunately a recurring one. As a Jewett resident, these groups are often the first thing I see when I step out in the morning (Vassar admissions really seems to love boasting about their Poughkeepsie skyscraper). The groups’ awe towards Jewett’s hotel-like lobby blinds them from seeing rushed students trying to navigate their way towards the quad. I’ve found myself training for these encounters at the labyrinths around campus. The second interaction was on Tuesday afternoon while I attempted to grapple with how detrimental the winter season has been to my already-mediocre Spikeball abilities. In between points, I overheard one of these herds passing in front of Davi. The tour leader began: “If you were to poll students on who the best house was...” I finished their sentence with the only obvious answer in my head: “a majority of them would say that it is Davison House, which is here on my left.” But my guess was wrong. As the tour leader instead said, “the poll would be a nine-way tie,” I realized that I failed to recognize that the College could not dub a certain house the best one on campus. I imagined the headlines about a Vassar College housing scandal in which rich (and loving) parents bought
tours
terrorize
their kids a spot in Davi. Against my better judgment, I almost wished it would happen. I’d be more than willing to sacrifice my hopes of moving into Davi next year in exchange for the endless amusement that such a scandal would bless the student body with. I had made peace with the tour leader’s pitch and was ready to return to my Spikeball struggles. But then, the guide spoke a sentence so audacious it was horrifying to hear: “But if you ask me, I’d say Raymond House, where I live, is the best house on campus.” Two thoughts came to my mind. The first was concern for the tour guide, who seemed both reasonable and smart enough to know better than to say what they just said. Is there some kind of indoctrination going down inside Raymond? Has anyone been brave enough to venture into the basement to make sure there isn’t some kind of fullfledged lab run by evil rats where residents are hypnotized? My second thought was how bad I felt for these possible future Vassar students being deceived by their tour guide. I suddenly had a newfound appreciation for never having the opportunity to tour Vassar last year before I committed, grateful for my lack of expectations for housing. Could you imagine someone from that tour group committing to Vassar and receiving the news that they had been placed in Raymond? They would be excited, and in for a horrible clash with reality as soon as they moved in and tried to do something like using the elevator. My final interaction came on a Friday morning. With thunder and lightning the day before, Friday morning reigned with blue skies; fluffy clouds; and, of course, herds of tour groups. I walked out of Rocky at 10:32, right at the same time as two of
“Dear Denny”: Advice by and for nitwits and neurotics Denny Spected
The Okay-est Advisor Ever
H
ello, young traveler. My name is Denny Spected. (Not really—it’s a pun, like “better than expected?” Ahh, forget it.) I was sitting in an English class, staring off into space as one usually does in an English class, when I had a frightening realization: people often turn to me for advice. I don’t know why. Out of all the amazing people on this campus, I’m probably the least qualified to give sane, sound advice. Is it my charm that makes people turn to me? Is it the way I laugh at everything, even jokes I don’t find funny because I pity the joke-sayer? Do I have the words, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” tattooed on my ass? Probably not. (Although how sexy would that be?) But even my mother asks me for advice on how to parent me and my sibling, and that’s not only a warning sign, but a call to destiny. The Misc has a tradition of advice columns. Ilana Tchaikovsky has a hilarious one. I binge-read all of Dr. G’s Love Advice during one summer day and adored it. However, both of these columns leaned towards the humorous side. Don’t get me wrong, I can crack out the old funny bone whenever I want. But this column will be about more than that. It will be a place where all of us can embrace and enjoy the beauty of the absurd, where we can reminisce and connect over our pleasures and faults. And even if I fall flat on my face, just now that we’re doing it at the same time, together, like a wonderful vaudevillian act. So send your letters to deardenny@protonmail.com. Thanks for coming along for the ride.
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Madi Donat/The Miscellany News. them, distinguished by their tour guides walking backwards and almost tripping on their cheesy jokes and school spirit, approached. Now, the route from Rocky to Joss seems simple—follow the diagonal path. It was here that I looked up in horror. The tour group was walking in single file along the diagonal path. No biggie, I’ll go in front of Rocky to walk alongside Davi, but no. The other tour group was there too, boasting about Davi being the best house. So, I ended up race-walking alongside Strong and crossing in the middle path to beat the tour group and proceed in the diagonal. Unfortunately, this tour guide was zoomin’—I’ve never seen anyone walk backwards and talk at the same time as fast as she did. I mean, bravo, but I ended up having to walk all the way along Lathrop, crossing across Jewett, where I ran into them again, and finally
bolted to the haven that is Joss. Their red lanyards and bright eyes look so hopeful as they take pictures, most of which I probably ended up photo-bombing. But damn it, I just finished a painful lecture and all I want to do is go back to bed, not navigate the Bermuda Triangle. This must be what Amelia Earhart felt like. Whenever I see a tour group now, it’s everyone for themselves. Walk fast and don’t make eye contact. At least eavesdropping on the tour guides’ claim that Vassar is “the best” will make you laugh. Don’t worry, I’m telepathically sending all the memos I can to these innocent students to run while they can. If anyone else has had distressing experiences with tour groups, please don’t hesitate to contact us. We are in solidarity with you and are here to support. We will get through this together, one tour at a time.
Miscellany News columnist apologizes to her editor Carly D’Antonio
Madi Donat
Sorrowful Columnist
I
f you have read my column before, you know that I am no stranger to missing a deadline or two and maybe sometimes phoning in my assignments. However, as the semester starts to near an end, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to someone who has been privy to my tardiness more than a few times. Yes, I would like to apologize to Humor Editor Madi Donat. Not only have I turned in all my submissions at least a day late this semester, but I am also currently writing this one past the deadline. I would like to say that it is because I have completed my three other assignments that are also two weeks late, but we all know that would be a lie… Anyway, I will not make any excuses. Not only am I extremely forgetful, but I also forget that I write for The Miscellany News almost every day. The number of times I have gotten compliments on my column from strangers and have responded “what column?” is way more than it should be. So once again, Madi, I would like to formally apologize for my many, many late submissions and for the future submissions that will also be extremely late.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Forgiving Editor
D
earest Carly,
Thank you for your apology; I really do appreciate it. But here’s the thing: You don’t even know the half of it. Every week you say, “I am so sorry that my article is late,” and I say, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it!” This you know. What you don’t know is that I sit high and mighty, allowing you to turn your articles in “late,” knowing full well that my horoscopes are rarely even a twinkle in my eye by the time Sunday evening rolls around. Sometimes I write my horoscopes on Monday night, as the paper is being put together around me. Sometimes, when my courses and workload and sitting on the floor of my room get to be too much for me, I outsource labor to my friends (thanks, Anthony) because I know I will definitely not have the motivation or energy to finish them. We are one and the same, Carly. We are the handshake emoji. I relate to you, though I wish neither of us had to relate to each other. I wish I could do more than simply try my best to ease your mind. Perhaps we could go to Applebee’s sometime. Let me know. Best, Madi
OPINIONS
Page 10
April 21, 2022
Need to release emotions for finals? Just fucking swear Ben Goth
Assistant Opinions Editor
I
t’s been one clusterfuck of a year, and with final exams approaching, the stress is only going to get worse before it can get any better. Luckily, Vassar’s “Primal Scream” tradition allows that buildup to be released. On the night before final exams begin, students gather to scream in unison as a way of catharsis for exam stress. In addition to screaming, students can also ease the pain by swearing. In an era of debating over what topics are offensive or not, some academics are pursuing the language that most people can agree is not polite—the grammar of phrases like “Fuck you” on campuses that caution students with various warnings. If you are offended by the two swear words you’ve read so far, it’s par for the course. Your sensibility gives these words their power. According to cognitive scientist Benjamin Bergen from the University of California at San Diego, humans are told that they cannot say certain words early on and will be punished if they say them. Bergen says in his book “What the F: What Swearing Reveals About Our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves,” “So we’re training kids, socially, that these words are powerful.” Curse words are powerful due to the messages that they convey. Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts psychologist Timothy Jay has thought of two main reasons humans swear after years of studying the phenomenon. First, it allows for a release of emotions. More specifically, it allows for an immediate release of emotions. In other words, swearing can communicate feelings much more effectively than other words. Combined with tone and inflection, cursing can be one of the most expressive ways of communicating. If a person were to say the word “fuck,” one can immediately determine that person’s mental state—whether it’s
anger, surprise or arousal—and the intensity of said mental state. As stated before, we associate profanity with strong feelings as we would a siren with police, so our bodies become physically conditioned to respond to them. As Bergen says, “Your pores open, and you start sweating. Your heart rate increases. Your pupils dilate … You experience this fight or flight reaction.” Research has also found that reading and writing swear words have an emotional effect on people, but not to the same degree as saying or hearing them. According to Bergen, profanities—like any tool—can be used for constructive or destructive purposes. Most constructive swear words are inspired by taboo topics like bodily functions (e.g. shit), religion (e.g. hell) and sex (e.g. fuck). Destructive swear words, such as slurs, are harmful because they are purposefully coined to offend and denigrate, unlike most profanities. These forms of profanity degrade more than they empower, and so activists have slowly pushed them out of the commonly accepted English vernacular. As opposed to destructive slurs, constructive swear words are beneficial to us. When researchers at Keele University in the United Kingdom studied how people could withstand the pain of submerging their hands in icy water, they discovered that those who were able to repeat a swear word withstood more pain than those who could not. Scientists have also found that cursing can occur both voluntarily and involuntarily, unlike most words. The latter—which happens when we drop a champagne bottle on our toe and yell “Goddamnit”—implies that language is not solely produced in one brain area. While there is no definitive evidence on that yet, Bergen believes there are still implications to involuntary cursing that may reveal a hidden aspect of human communication. Involuntary cursing also suggests that these words become so ingrained in us that saying them may be more of a physical act than a
Sandro Luis Lorenzo/The Miscellany News. symbolic one, like a sneeze—when we do it, we feel something, we release a pent-up something. These strong feelings have driven some people to attempt the erasure of profanity. People in my life have occasionally become unnecessarily upset with me for involuntarily saying words like “damn” or “hell,” objectively less offensive words than “fuck” or “shit.” As a result, they’ve successfully programmed me to flip a switch in my brain whenever I am around them, making me feel like I’m a completely different person and that I’m putting on an act. Swearing is a regular part of my lexicon, and I do not feel like I can be myself around people who don’t like hearing these words. It’s not right. Linguistics experts will say that the reasons people oppose profanity are based on myths. Bergen dedicates an entire chapter in his book to debunking a flawed study that suggests profanity harms young children. Meanwhile, Jay focused on the misconceived
notion that people who swear more often are not intelligent enough to truly express themselves. In reality, he discovered that people with larger vocabularies swear more often. He also notes that people who regularly curse are more honest and upfront with friends and family. If students on campus swear during the Primal Scream, it not only alludes to their built-up stress but also their intellect based on their willingness to yell a curse word without fear of repercussion. Swearing should not be as controversial or taboo as it currently is. Not only does it grab everyone’s attention, but it has several benefits for the human body. In addition to relieving pain whenever we stub our toe or get blood drawn, uttering profanities allows people to release their emotions in a way that few other words can. So in a few weeks, when the clock strikes midnight to mark the beginning of exam week, let go of that exam stress and start screaming curse words. They’re fucking good for you!
Sandro Luis Lorenzo/The Miscellany News. The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
SPORTS
April 21, 2022
Vassar
Brewers
Women’s Track and Field
Page 11
Sports
Roundup:
Men’s Track and Field
April 15-16
April 15-16
Silfen Invitational
Silfen Invitational
Last weekend the women’s track and field team competed at the Silfen Invitational at Connecticut College. On Friday, the meet started with some distance events and field events. Soleil Yuong ’25 set a personal best in the discus of 28.18 meters, good for 21st overall. Both Sasha Allison ’22 and Noni Pattington ’25 ran personal bests in the 5,000 meters of 18:07.97 and 18:31.25 respectively. Allison finished 11th and Pattington took 18th. The next day saw first-year Traci Francis ’25 finish ninth in the 100 meters with a time of 12.65 and Ava Novak ’24 finish 11th overall in the 200 meters with a time of 26.43. Kayleigh Mason ’24 set a personal best of 1:16.84 in the 400 meter hurdles and placed 18th overall. But the busiest athletes this weekend were the heptathletes, who each competed in seven events over the span of two days. First-year Faye Stevens ’25 set a program record with 3,596 points, which earned her fourth overall at the meet. Elinor Kops ’25 had a strong first heptathlon as well, finishing eighth overall with 3,233 points. Sophomore Jackie Morrison ’24 finished right behind Kops in ninth place with a score of 3,160 points. The Brewers will next head to Williams College for the Farley Invitational on April 23.
This past weekend the Vassar Men’s Track and Field team traveled to Connecticut College for the Silfen Invitational. The events started on Friday, April 15, with another historic performance from Jack Casalino ’22, who set a new program record in the 5,000 meters with a time of 14:41.58, good for sixth overall in a competitive field. Aidan Mayer ’24 had a strong performance in the 3,000 meter steeplechase taking second overall in a time of 9:40.43. Later that evening, Miles Takiguchi ’23 made history of his own by smashing Casalino’s program record in the 10K with a time of 30:00.98. This time earned Takiguchi a second place finish at the meet and was good for 12th in all of Division III as of Friday night. The next day saw Darnell Worley ’24 set personal bests in both 100 meters and 200 meters with times of 11.38 and 22.66 respectively. Worley finished 21st in the 100 meters and 19th in the 200 meters. Rey Claro ’24 set a personal best of 3.36 meters in the pole vault to earn a seventh place finish. Max Bergman ’25 finished a long weekend of events by placing ninth overall in his first decathlon with a score of 4,432 points. Next up for the Brewers is the Farley Invitational at Williams College on April 23.
Women’s Lacrosse
Women’s Tennis
April 16
April 13 & 16
L 12-18 vs. Union
1W-1L
Despite keeping it close for most of the game, Vassar Women’s Lacrosse fell to Union College 12-18 on the team’s Senior Day this past Saturday, dropping to 1-6 in league play and 3-6 on the season. The Brewers and the Dutchwomen remained close throughout the first half, as the two teams battled back and forth for the lead in both quarters, with Union ultimately coming out on top 10-9 going into the intermission. Goals from Ashley Roberts ’22, Maddy Kretten ’23, Annie Uyeki ’23 and Kali Ringler ’25 helped lead the way for the Brewers in the first 30 minutes of action. The squad was unable to keep the score close throughout the second half; Union slowly pulled away as they notched four goals each in the third quarter and fourth quarter, while Vassar only put up three more goals the rest of the match with contributions from Roberts, Yael Gelman ’24 and Zola Sullivan ’25. Kretten led the way for the Brewers, notching five points and five draw controls, while Trina Chou ’23 also added five draw controls and Jackie Molloy ’22 had nine saves. The squad next travels to Bard College on April 20 and St. Lawrence University on April 23.
Vassar Women’s Tennis fell to Army, but overcame Skidmore College this past week to go 1-1 in competition and 13-2 overall on the season. In their non-conference match against Army, the Brewers dropped a 4-0 decision. Playing in a DI format, the squad lost their doubles point to Army, falling behind in every doubles match to go down 0-1. Unfortunately, the Brewers were unable to bounce back, losing in their remaining singles matches to finish the day 0-4. The team returned to play the following Saturday, facing off against conference rival Skidmore. The match proved to be a thrilling one for the Brewers, as the 32nd-ranked squad bested the 23rd-ranked Thoroughbreds 5-4. After going down 2-1 in doubles action, the Brewers fought back hard to overcome the deficit in singles action. Wins from Tatum Blalock ’23 at one, Elyse Duley ’25 at two, Melina Stavropoulos ’22 and lastly, Sofie Shen ’24 propelled Vassar to the victory. For Shen’s critical play on Saturday, she earned Liberty League Singles Performer of the Week honors. The team next hosts Union College on April 23 in their second to last regular season match.
Men’s Lacrosse
Men’s Tennis
April 16
April 16
L 7-19 vs. St. Lawrence
W 7-2 vs. St. Lawrence
Men’s lacrosse toughed out a tough 7-19 loss to no. 11-ranked St. Lawrence on Saturday, falling to 1-4 in league play and 6-6 on the season. Despite holding a 2-1 lead early on due to goals from Riley Olds ’23 and Logan Hyde ’22, the Brewers proved unable to carry on with the Saints’ pressure. Shane O’Hara ’25 also added a tally in the first half to make the score 10-3 going into the intermission. Tommy Van Pelt ’22, Dan Negron ’24, Ian Zampano ’24 and Hayden Baranker ’24 additionally contributed goals in the second half to make the final score 7-19. Other noted efforts came from faceoff-man Thomas Cameron ’24 as he went 12-of-24 in the circle, and Jack Bagin ’23 in goal as he recorded 20 saves against 17 goals in his time on the field. Drew Quinn ’25 came into goal for the last part of the game and made two saves and Solomon Hess ’24 had four ground balls. The Brewers next return to play on April 23 for the team’s Senior Day against Clarkson University.
The Brewers powered past league opponent St. Lawrence University (SLU) 7-2 on Saturday to improve to 8-6 overall and 4-2 in league play. The team started off well as they finished doubles play 2-1, with Mathew Yee ’22 and Arnav Agostinho ’25 besting SLU’s number one pairing 8-6, and Jay Wong ’24 and Benjamin Almquist ’24 also winning 8-6 at number two. Vassar then dominated in singles action, winning from the number one spot down to the number 5 spot to secure the W. Wong overcame his opponent 6-3, 7-6 at number one, while Yee grinded out a 3-6, 6-2 and 6-4 win at number two. Almquist captured his point with 6-4, 7-6 (8-6) victory, and Agostinho also beat his opponent in a three set win. Mihajlo Ivanovic ’22 officially notched the win at number 5 with a back and forth 7-6 (7-3), 4-6, 6-3 victory. The men’s tennis team will next compete at home versus Union College on April 23 in hopes of continuing their positive momentum.
Men’s Baseball
Men’s and Women’s Rowing
April 13 & 16
April 16
2W-1L
Hamilton Regatta
Men’s baseball went 2-1 this past week with a dominant 22-3 victory over City College of New York (CCNY) and a split in a doubleheader against division leader Skidmore, winning the first game 7-6 and losing the second 2-5. On April 13, against CCNY, the Brewers went down 1-0 early in the first inning, but immediately responded with a five run inning, and then replicated that number in the second, third and sixth innings. Both Andrew Kanellis ’23 and Ty Murray ’24 had home runs, and Kerrigan pitched five innings, with six strikeouts and one run in the 22-3 win. In the doubleheader on April 16 against Skidmore, Vassar found themselves in a 1-0 hole in the third inning of game one. But in the bottom of the third, Alex Warren ’23 led off with a triple and later scored on a fielder’s choice to tie the game at one apiece. The next few innings were all Vassar, with the Brewers taking a 6-1 lead into the seventh inning behind home runs from Kanellis and Ricardo Reyna ’25. After Skidmore tied it up 6-6 in the top of the seventh, Vassar responded with a walk off single from Warren to win game one 7-6. Game two was rough from the start, with Skidmore taking a lead in the top of the first inning and never relinquishing it. The Brewers are now 11-15 on the year, including 3-8 in the Liberty League. Vassar will next travel to New Paltz on Wednesday, April 20th.
Fighting rainy and cold conditions, both the men’s and women’s rowing teams competed in Troy, NY at the Hamilton Regatta this past weekend. The men’s Second Varsity Eight boat placed third overall in a time of 7:21.11. The crew was made up of coxswain Jean Fassler ’25, Nick Winkler ’24, Rafi Ettinger-Finley ’24, Ben Vinson ‘25, Lucas Angles ’23, Bela Arwen ’23, Gage Karlin ’24, Joshua Hernandez ’24 and Alex Roth ’24. In the men’s Varsity Four, Vassar placed second overall behind St. Lawrence with a time of 8:47.33 in a boat that included Fassler as coxswain, Winkler, Ettinger-Finley, Matthew Peeples ’24 and Willem Doherty ’25. On the women’s side, Vassar’s Varsity Four boat won in a time of 8:39.21 with a crew of Sarah Winickoff ’25, Sarah Dumaresq ’24, Clare Mitchell ’24, Anna Bishop ’25 and rookie coxswain Abigail Straus ’25. The women’s Second Varsity Eight boat posted a time of 7:55.75 with a crew of Dumaresq at coxswain, Posey Whidden ’25, Rebecca Middlen ’25, Paris James ’24, Straus, Foster Schrader ’25, Risha Kulkarni ’25, Kathleen Brawley ’25 and Cayla Kallman ’25. Both the men and women will compete at Saratoga Springs for the New York State Championships next Saturday, April 23.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
CROSSWORD
Page 12
April 21, 2022
The Miscellany Crossword “The Truth Shirts” ACROSS 1. Low pH substance 5. “Add _____ of salt” 10. “It’s the end of the world ____ know it” 14. Digital job, in brief 15. South Korean actor Lee 16. Unsolicited email, named from a Monty Python sketch about the food 17. Vet’s condition, too often 18. “_____, I’m Adam” 19. Egotist’s focus 20. Communicate regret for 22. “Who’s ready?” reply 23. 2001 Will Smith biopic 24. Cozy lodging 25. One whose home is in Nome 28. Alger of rags-to-riches novels 30. Whodunit genre 31. Like Gruyère or Grandpa 32. Country that eats 100 acres a day of pizza 34. Mini pies 35. Size or extent 39. Fight reminders 42. Dapper haberdasher of fashion 43. Superhero garb 47. Blackmail stuff 50. Kneecap bone 52. Contrary retort 53. Tire gauge letters 54. Road goo 55. ___ Cruces 56. Singer of “Hotel California” 59. Lucille’s co-star
By Reese Collins
60. “You _____ big trouble, young lady!” 61. State flower of Tennessee 63. “Pumping ____” (classic bodybuilding documentary) 64. Eye drops? 65. Thing you may have to scan for nowadays 66. Outlaw mob 67. Lauder with lipstick 68. Lucky hit in ping-pong
DOWN 1. Rock band’s box 2. Library tool 3. Emulate a muse 4. First queen of Carthage 5. ________ nitrate (dynamite component) 6. Identify, as an ailment 7. You ____ (us) 8. Music identifying app 9. Simple, but comfortable 10. Help 11. JBL product 12. Retail giant 13. British rock band with the 1991 album “Schubert Dip” 21. Happenin’, modernly 23. “Now I get it!” 26. Regarding 27. Initials used in Albany 29. Speaking to 33. Coordinating conjunction 36. “This ____ outrage!” 37. Ruby’s partner in Pokémon
38. “You might say that...” 39. Bed bug? 40. Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “Love in the Time of _______” 41. “Just Give Me _______” 2012 Pink song 44. Changed 45. In the game, say 46. Listener
Answers to last week’s puzzle: “Broadway Debuts” By Reese Collins
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
48. As of yet 49. Mall parts 51. Sn 57. “No ice, please” 58. Gin and tonic garnish 59. Use a shovel 62. Take to court