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THE ENDURANCE ISSUE SZU-TING YI CLIMBS FORTY DESERT TOWERS MARATHON SWIMMER KIM CHAMBERS ON THE CALL OF OPEN WATERS A 3,800-MILE PADDLE TO CLOSE THE CONFIDENCE GAP + HOW TO RUN BAREFOOT, MAKE YOUR OWN MUSCLE BALM, AND OPEN A COCONUT WITH EASE AND PANACHE

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ADVENTURE

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An all-female adventure film festival based out of the Carbondale, Colorado. We are a collaboration and celebration of men and women who are deeply engaged in enhancing the female presence in the adventure arena. The goal of this festival is to connect like-minded individuals who are action-oriented, wish to support a shared vision of gender equality, have a desire to experience their passions and environments through a uniquely feminine lens, and above all, love adventure. No Man’s Land strives to create a history of motivating audiences to implement and inspire change. Our mission transcends the films presented; this festival acts as a platform for progressive thought and movement in the outdoor industry.

FIND US ON TOUR www.nomanslandfilmfestival.org

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SPEED PROJECT

Go The Distance

The Speed Project is a 340-mile adventure relay that runs from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, cutting through the aptly-named, infamous Death Valley. There were few rules for the race, but lots of warnings: against snakes, exhaustion, dehydration, heat stroke—the list went on. Teams of six runners set off from the Santa Monica Pier and finished at the iconic "Welcome to Las Vegas” sign. At this year’s race in March 2017, Team Birdstrike aimed to be the first all-women team and to set the women’s FKT (fastest known time) for the course. Despite harsh conditions, glaring sun, and unexpectedly dropping from six teammates to five, Birdstrike set the record and secured their place in ultrarunning history.

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Photos by Joseph Haeberle

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SPEED PROJECT

Photos by Joseph Haeberle

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We crashed the bro party.

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YOUR COMPASS

THE GUIDEBOOK 58 Here&There Perhaps not the most obvious summer road trip destination...and yet what could be more quintessentially American than a place that gave us the cowboy, the chimichanga, and the Mars Rover? BY MIKAELA HAMILTON

THE ENDURANCE ISSUE THERE’S SOMETHING TO BE SAID for the long haul. What better feeling than pushing yourself past what you thought was possible and finding yourself on the other side, changed?

26 Open A Coconut 26 Sore Muscle Balm 26 Homemade Sunscreen 26 Run Barefoot 27 Preserve Fruits 27 Slingshot Construction

9 How To: Endure Our endlessly practical summer how-to guide.

28 All-Purpose Sail Assembly 28 Cucumber-Infused Vodka 28 Pool Floaty Creation 29 Prickly Pear Margaritas 29 Firefly Language Translation

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FLIPBOOK Behold, a tree enduring, ring by ring, through lo these many magazine pages.

18 Naked, Afraid, and Menstruating Stuff your survivalist class left off the syllabus. BY ALI WUNDERMAN

20 The Great Unknown Accomplished distance swimmer Kim Chambers on her biggest fears and finding solace in open waters. BY RHEA CORTADO

43 Best Left in the Dark There is a code of silence when it comes to caves, both inside and out. BY PAGE BUONO PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN EGINOIRE

50 Forty Desert Towers What better way to celebrate a fortieth birthday than a long, arduous climbing project? BY SZU-TING YI PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVE ANDERSON

58 Traveling Restless, Drinking Red 31 Women in the Wild

Two friends travel to the country of Georgia looking for the legacy of an ancient wine-making tradition.

A round-up of women blazing trails in the outdoor industry and beyond.

BY JEN KINNEY PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTINE ARMBRUSTER

BY RACHEL ZURER, ZOË BALACONIS, AND JESSICA C. MALORDY

66 Feast Your Eyes and Ears Book and podcast recommendations to take you far, far away. BY JESSICA C. MALORDY

68 No Man's Land This traveling festival brings adventure films by and about women to a theater near you .

Photo by Mikaela Hamilton

13 Controversial/ Universal

BY CHARLOTTE AUSTIN

78 The Activist’s Field Guide

Beyond the fishnets, booty-blocks, and bruises, roller derby offers women worldwide a space and a sport to call their own. BY ERIN CRAIG

15 The Exploring Women of The Explorers Club What did it take for women to claim a seat at the table? Explorers Club Fellow and Arctic adventurer Christine Dennison dives in. BY CHRISTINE DENNISON

34 Source to Sea: Closing the Confidence Gap How three women set the record for paddling the length of the Missouri River System. BY KORRIN L. BISHOP

A thorough and accessible introduction to dystopian species, including information on migration, habitats, vocalization, food and feeding, plumage and molt.

80 Total Eclipse of the Heart There’s a solar eclipse in August 2017; prepare yourself with this handy celestial viewer (some assembly required).

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STAYING POWER

EDITORS’ LETTER TOP. ASSESS THE SITUATION. Take stock. Form a plan and a backup plan. Act. Making a decision in the backcountry is straightforward. There’s a kind of triage to it. This is what’s important and this is what isn’t. For whatever reason, choosing to act in the everyday isn’t as clearcut. There’s so much stuff—stresses, distractions, variables. In our lives, as on the trail, we’re faced with choices— forks in the path—do we hike up along the ridge? Take the shortcut through the valley? Do the loop? Perhaps it’s not that we lack clarity in the frontcountry, but perspective. This summer and beyond, we’re trying to take the longview and take stock. If we’re going the distance, we want to remember where we’ve come from and be ready for what’s ahead, because, in terms of the environment, our choices are catching up with us. We laud those able to endure with statues, gold medals, made-for-TV movies, million-dollar contracts, but, endurance comes in many forms. Endurance is simply lasting, surviving, not giving way—it’s both our most human and our most animal quality. In this issue, we hope to highlight women who go to great lengths (across oceans, down continents, against popular opinion) and small ones (across a crowded room, down a to-do list, against traffic) to make real the lives they’d always imagined. It’s easy to get caught up in holding our ground. Elbows dug in, gritted teeth. When faced with friction, pushback from other people and from the endeavor of endurance itself, perseverance alone can seem like enough, maybe even more than we can take. Pioneering—blazing trails—making waves—can seem besides the point. But what do we endure for, if not to pave the way for those to follow? We’re celebrating individual endurance, to be sure, but it’s the collective path we’re cutting that will determine where we’re really headed. Though small steps may not make news, every inch gained is an inch in the right direction.

Endurance is simply lasting, surviving, not giving way— it’s both our most human and our most animal quality.

Yours in misadventure, Zoë Balaconis, Editor-in-Chief Jessica C. Malordy, Senior Editor

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THE MISADVENTURES TEAM Zoë Balaconis EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Marybeth Campeau CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Jessica C. Malordy

DREAM SUMMER LOCALE

SENIOR EDITOR

Sarajevo, Bosnia – Christine Armbruster

Sarah Connette OPERATIONS DIRECTOR

Saveria Tilden

S U M M E R D AYS V S N I G HT S

SALES & ADVERTISING

Summer nights! Cool air, bonfires, beer, and starry skies. – Mikaela Hamilton

ILLUSTRATOR: Julienne Alexander CONTRIBUTORS: Dave Anderson, Christine Armbruster, Charlotte Austin, Korrin Bishop, Page Buono, Sarah Connette, Rhea Cortado, Erin Craig, Christine Dennison, Stephen Eginoire, Joseph Haeberle, Mikaela Hamilton, Jen Kinney, Jon Springfield, Ali Wunderman, Szu-ting Yi, Rachel Zurer

DREAM SUMMER LOCALE

This summer I'll be camping around Mongolia - definitely a dream come true! I'm wildly excited about the horseback riding and throat singing; less so for the fermented mare's milk. – Erin Craig

INTERNS: Ellyn Gibbs, Dana Guth

S U M M E R D AYS V S N I G HT S

Summer days! I feed off the longer hours of daylight during the summer. Early sunrises and later sunsets feel like every day is a blank page and full of possibility. – Rhea Cortado

SC H O O L ' S O UT S M E L L

Tree bark. More time to spend days climbing the branches of my backyard! – Korrin Bishop

Advertising Inquiries: advertise@misadventuresmag.com Press Inquiries: hello@misadventuresmag.com S U M M E R D AYS V S N I G HT S

SC H O O L ' S O UT S M E L L

Getting out of school for the summer smells like honeysuckle and popsicles. – Jen Kinney

GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE COLD Order a copy of this issue, or a back issue, at misadventuresmag.com/shop.

With Thanks To: Lila Allen, Kristina Amaya, The Awesome Foundation, Karen Beattie, Eddie Brawner, Hannah Brotherton, Candyman, Suzanne Churchill, Davidson College, The Explorers Club, Maria Fackler, Mia Flanagan, Kaela Frank, Alanna Ford, Paige Fulton, Shane Gibson, Franny Goffinet, Tim Houston, Katie Ives, Zoran Kuzmanovich, Rachel Leeds, Hannah Levinson, Tim Morin, Walter Olin Nisbet III, Marian Nisbet, Walter Olin “Chip” Nisbet IV, William McGowan Nisbet, Alan Michael Parker, Jeanine Pesce, Ale Poveda, Kate Reutersward, Allison Dulin Salisbury, Peter Scorcia, Rebecca Sgouros, Elise Shellenberger, Claire Smiley, Liz Song, Matt Stirn, Gale Straub, Ambreen Tariq, Jessie Tuckman, Ross Saldarini, Emmett Weindruch, Mark Williams, Paula Wright, moms and dads everywhere

Nights: fireflies and skinny-dipping. – Rachel Zurer

Photo on cover by: Dave Anderson Flip book tree print by: Kimberley Sander

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SURVIVE & THRIVE

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ON TRACK TO GREATNESS

CONTROVERSIAL /UNIVERSAL

PHOTO Roller Derby Beirut, by Nada Zeineb Ben Jemaa (Team Manager)

How Roller Derby Conquered the World

Rolodex icon by Cathy Moser. Medal icon by Bezier Master.

BY ERIN CRAIG

FISHNETS, BOOTY-BLOCKS, AND GENERAL BADASSERY—roller derby has a bit of a reputation. Known for misfits and bad girls, it carries more baggage than the average contact sport. Yet derby has charged the globe, provoking controversy and fierce devotion—because no matter what box you try to cram it into, roller derby defies expectations. Roller derby is a racing sport played on an oval track. One skater (the jammer) tries to lap as many opposing players as possible. The other players (blockers) are there to stop her, and a certain amount of brutality ensues. There are collisions, bruises, and the occasional broken leg. Skaters adopt noms de guerre, aggressively clever nicknames for their alter egos on the track. Add

short shorts and fishnets and you’ve got one hell of a show. Therein lies the problem. For years, the sport’s novelty has overshadowed its athleticism. The toughness, the sexy outfits, and the unapologetic attitude bring controversy. “I love to hit people,” laughs PeaceWar. She’s good at it too. PeaceWar (known to her mother as Ruth Williams) is a skater with the Texas Roller Girls, the world’s first flat-track roller derby league. A dual citizen, she will also represent Mexico at the Roller Derby World Cup in 2018. Her story encapsulates derby’s growth from a fringe sport in Austin, TX to a global phenomenon. Since its debut in the early 2000s, roller derby has spread to every

ROLL CALL Our favorite derby names: Wuthering Freights, Susan B. Agony, Shirley Temple of Doom, Shortstack O’Paincakes, Lady Mac Death, Splatsy Cline, Scaristotle, Akilla Da Hunni.

continent but Antarctica. (Give it time!) Of the 449 leagues registered with the sport’s governing body, the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), 30% are located outside the United States, including throughout Asia and the Middle East. Many more operate on an ad-hoc basis, too small for formal membership. But not every culture adapts its brash philosophy the same way—especially the fact that there’s no “sorry” in derby. That’s certainly true in Japan, where Krystal Stoddard (Shortstack O’Paincakes), the 2016-2017 league president of the Tokyo Roller Girls, explains that Japanese people have a reputation for being reserved and quiet, which doesn’t always mesh with roller derby culture. “It can be challenging trying to teach our

GO FOR THE GOLD In 2012, the International Olympic Committee announced that roller derby was one of the eight sports under consideration for the 2020 Olympic Games.

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ON TRACK TO GREATNESS

PHOTO The Cairollers, by Michael Glavanis

If roller derby is more complex than stereotypes allow, so too are the cultures it’s played in.

teammates that they don’t have to apologize when they hit someone!” Other cultures have aesthetic concerns.“The prejudice we have is not because we play the sport,” says Marcella Moura (Cassie Uncaged) who will be joining PeaceWar at the World Cup with Team Brazil. “It’s because of the other things that came with it, like the tattoos [and] the way we dress.” Derby is seen as “alternative culture,” a.k.a. “controversial.” Moura is not the only skater to report that most people assume roller girls are lesbians. Derby abrades traditional notions of femininity—unfiltered aggression is seen as unseemly; muscles are unappealing; toughness isn’t feminine. And, of course, being athletic

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can scare off potential husbands. “We have had some players whose families have been like, ‘How are you ever going to get a boyfriend or a fiancé if you’re playing this sport? Men are going to be intimidated by that,’” says Susan Nour (Nofearteti) of Egypt’s CaiRollers. She didn’t tell her own parents about derby until the team’s first exhibition bout, even though she already had a husband and a sports background. Yet despite cultural reservations, many CaiRollers have families that are encouraging and supportive. If roller derby is more complex than stereotypes allow, so too are the cultures it’s played in. That may be why it crops up in so many unexpected places. Like many international teams, Roller Derby Beirut’s story begins with an expat missionary and the movie Whip It. The skaters are international students from around the Middle East—Lebanon, Bahrain, Egypt, Tunisia, even the notoriously restrictive Yemen. And according to founding member Nada Ben Jemaa (The Killer Pillar), roller derby actually shares many of the values of Arab culture. “I feel like [derby] fits perfectly with the idea of sisterhood,” she says. “We have these social norms where girls cannot really be friends with guys, so the girls have to stick together.” She mentions a Yemeni athlete who hopes to someday start a team in her home country. "The fact that it's a very conservative society doesn't mean that it's not going to take off. I think, on the contrary, the fact that women are doing their own thing could actually help it develop.” Introverted Nour of the CaiRollers sees derby as a way to celebrate her own culture. “Egyptians are extremely sociable and extremely hospitable and extremely warm. I definitely think

that roller derby has opened that side of my personality and therefore made me more Egyptian.” “It’s also affected the way I drive,” she adds playfully. Nowadays she jukes fearlessly through Cairo’s chaotic traffic like a jammer dodging blockers. In some ways, the international teams have an advantage over their American counterparts: they get to be athletes first and foremost. The WFTDA has spent more than a decade transforming derby from spectacle to respected sport. Perhaps nothing sums up its success better than its new relationship with ESPN3. The sports network’s online streaming service broadcast several major tournaments in 2016 (within the US, that is; WFTDA itself streams the games for international audiences). "We are lucky to have started at a time when derby is transitioning,” acknowledges Ben Jemaa. “We already have the legacy of other women who had to go through all that to make it a legit sport.” And unlike many sports, derby makes a place for every woman willing to strap on skates. “When I found roller derby I thought it was the best sport in the world because everyone can play,” says Moura. “You can be small, you can be thin, you can be fat—everyone is accepted.” In this, she is giving a voice to derby’s core philosophy: everyone— regardless of age, culture, shape, or ability—is welcome. The athleticism, the unwavering acceptance, and the indestructible community breed a confidence that affects women’s lives on and off the track. Skaters from all cultures say the same things: I never thought I’d be able to do this. It changed my life. If I can do this, what else can I do? Anything.

WHIP IT Whip It is a 2009 film written by Shauna Cross, based on her book Derby Girl. Ellen Page stars as a misfit teenager in small-town Texas who discovers roller derby and becomes Babe Ruthless.


A BRIEF HISTORY LESSON PHOTO Courtesy of The Explorers Club Research Collections

E X P L O R I N G WO M E N

The Exploring Women of The Explorers Club Where are all the female explorers?

Flag icon by Edward Boatman.

BY CHRISTINE DENNISON

Christine Dennison is a true explorer and adventurer who leads expeditions to the most remote corners of the world. In 2003, she was honored as a Fellow with The Explorers Club in New York and the Royal Geographical Society of London. Christine served as the 2017 Explorers Dinner Chairwoman.

AT THE HISTORIC New York City manor that serves as the headquarters of The Explorers Club, cheetahs, penguins, and bears are just some of the denizens you will encounter, their taxidermied bodies lining the trophy room. The venerable club, which is a meeting point for scientists and explorers worldwide, recently celebrated its 113th year, and held an annual star-studded awards dinner on March 25, 2017 to mark the occasion at the equally historic site of Ellis Island, in New York Harbor. 1,200 Explorers Club members and guests attended the black-tie affair, which celebrated and embraced

the stars of modern-day exploration. Among them were Robert DeNiro, who served as the host; James Cameron, an Explorers Club member who spoke passionately about the importance of science, technology, and pushing the boundaries of deep ocean exploration; and Sir Ranulph Fiennes, who delivered the inspirational keynote speech. Regarded as the “World’s Greatest Living Explorer,” at 72 years young, Sir Fiennes continues to travel the world on extraordinary expeditions to raise awareness of our planet, as well as funds for various charities. All three men delivered

FLAG IT Members must apply for the honor of carrying The Explorers Club Flag on a Flag Expedition, demonstrating how their trip will contribute to scientific exploration. If approved, they must submit a written Flag Report afterwards.

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A BRIEF HISTORY LESSON

PHOTOS (From L-R) Newspaper clipping of Osa Johnson, Ladies Night poster featuring Amelia Earhart, Faanya Rose atop Mount Everest, Sylvia Earle beneath the sea. Courtesy of The Explorers Club Research Collections

impassioned speeches that conveyed their immense support for exploration, conservation, and science. Mr. DeNiro spoke about the need to empower the next generation of scientists and explorers, especially young women entering these fields against historically stacked odds. The event, which Mr. Cameron has called “the Oscars of Exploration,” was a sold-out success. Nevertheless you would not be faulted for squinting a little at the membership rolls of the club, and asking, “Where are all the women explorers?” Of the approximately 3500 Explorers Club members, who represent over 60 countries and 30 chapters around the world, only 23% are women. The sad fact is that, for centuries, women have gone unrecognized for their contributions to exploration, simply because of their gender. Well into the 1930s, many women disguised themselves as men in order to travel around the world on expeditions. For instance, four bodies discovered in permafrost from the ill-fated 1845 North West Passage Expedition, led by Sir John Franklin, have proved to be women. Though their names are lost to time, thanks to DNA testing their presence is now a permanent and irrefutable

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part of Arctic Exploration history. The history of women in The Explorers Club, in particular, dates back more recently, to 1914, when it held its first “Ladies Night” at the New York City HQ. It was designed as an evening to which members could invite guests who were women for entertainment and education through lectures, but that wasn’t enough. Today, just over a hundred years later, female members of The Explorers Club number 801, including Students, Associate members, and Fellows. Membership is decided upon by a committee, and Fellow is the highest level awarded, based upon contributions to science and exploration. Myself a Fellow since 2003, I decided to delve into the club’s archives to learn more about the many women whose fortitude and grit paved the way. Lacey Flint, Archivist and Curator of Research Collections at The Explorers Club, guided me through the journey, sharing artifacts and anecdotes from the club’s impressive history. She is extremely knowledgeable, her archives as meticulously maintained as those you might find in a museum. Tucked into boxes and drawers are priceless books, letters, photos, and ephemera, all of which can only be handled with

TIMELINE OF FIRST LADIES OF EXPLORATION 1766 – Jeanne Baré: First woman (disguised as a man) to circumnavigate the world 1895 – Annie "Londonderry" Kopchovsky: First woman to bicycle around the world 1929 – Lady Hay Drummond-Hay: First woman to circumnavigate the world by air (by Zeppelin) 1932 – Amelia Earhart: First woman to fly solo across the Atlantic

gloves. As we looked over the myriad of photos, featuring men at various functions, enjoying drinks and cigars, on expeditions throughout the world—I was struck by the thought that a woman would have been just as comfortable in the same situations...and just as qualified. But women like Amelia Earhart, the aviation pioneer, and Osa Johnson, a photographer, filmmaker, and author who documented the jungles of East Africa, Borneo, and the South Pacific, would not take no for an answer. They were just two of the women to push aside the boundaries placed upon them by society to secure seats at the table of many “all-boys” clubs. In fact, Earhart was a featured speaker at the 1932 Explorers Club Ladies Night, and was issued a commendation for her transatlantic flight of 1928—but it was not until 1934 that The Explorers Club created an “Honorary Roll of Women.” This allowed for women to be officially recognized for their tremendous feats of exploration; but they remained ineligible for full membership. The club continued its men-only policy until the mid-1960s, when it finally allowed members to bring their wives to the annual dinner. In the 1970s, the advertising world began to focus on the power of women in the workforce and

1975 – Junko Tabei: First woman to reach the summit of Mt. Everest 1978 – Krystyna Chojnowska-Liskiewicz: First woman to sail solo around the world 1986 – Ann Bancroft: First woman to travel over the ice cap to the North and South Poles 2006 – Sophia Danenberg: First African-American woman to reach summit of Mount Everest 2011 – Barbara Hillary: First African-American woman to reach both Poles


across many areas that had once been exclusive to men. The Virginia Slims cigarette slogan “You’ve come a long way baby” rang true for many, as women were finally recognized for their contributions and ability to conquer boardrooms, mountain peaks, deep oceans, and space. On September 19, 1981, a freshman class of 16 women was honored with membership into the heretofore all-male Explorers Club. Their areas of expertise included space, the deep sea, anthropology, and archaeology. The illustrious group included aquanaut Dr. Sylvia Earle, Anna Roosevelt, and astronaut Kathryn Sullivan. Despite the influx of female members over the next few decades, it was not until the year 2000 that The Explorers Club welcomed its first female President: South African-born, British-American conservationist, explorer and businesswoman, Faanya Rose. She reigned from 2000-2002, and continues to be a

Of the approximately 3500 Explorers Club members, only 23% are women. very active member both in the field and through her work and mentorship with young explorers. She is a glamorous, gracious, and generous woman who embodies the spirit, kindness and strength that has seen her through a fascinating life of adventure, tragedy, and triumph. I was first introduced to Faanya in 2003 when I was awarded membership as a Fellow. She is not only a very accomplished woman but also a great mentor. When I met with Faanya to discuss her groundbreaking presidency, and how best to encourage

participation and set expectations for women in a predominantly male arena, she told me: “I was not elected President because I was a woman. I was elected because I was the best man for the job at the time.” “To go on expedition,” she continued, “is not only to have an adventure, but to learn and to discover. To share knowledge is to contribute.” Which is why, despite their history, The Explorers Club remains crucial to the fields of science and exploration—especially for young women. Within its hallowed halls are women who have opened doors and shattered glass ceilings, women who are dedicated to sharing their time and knowledge to help others. By empowering tomorrow’s Exploring Women to conquer mountains, explore the seas, unlock scientific mysteries, and so much more, The Explorers Club is steadfast in its support of the next generation.

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GO WITH THE FLOW

Naked, Afraid, and Menstruating Your guide to bleedin’ in the wild.

THE FIRST RULE OF survival is to be prepared. Experienced outdoorspeople know not to venture into the wild without taking necessary precautions such as alerting someone to their travel plans, making provisions for getting water, and carrying a knife of some variety. But it’s like how the best way to treat a snakebite is to not let a snake bite you: all the preparation in the world can’t save you when you suddenly find yourself with a non-negotiable need to survive. Which is why I asked my survivalist teacher what women do when they encounter their period while trying to survive the elements of nature. He (because it’s almost always a he) didn’t have a good answer for me because no one had ever asked him before and, despite the high quality of the course he was teaching, it had never been seen as relevant enough to address. Some lean in to the apocalypse prepping lifestyle, but my curiosity was strictly within the accidental category, like getting sidetracked on a hike, misjudging the descent of the sun, or most dramatically, becoming victim to a plane crash or another stranding event where knowledge of primitive technology and tree house architecture would be invaluable. For a lot of people who have periods, it can feel like a survival situation even from the comfort of home (though anyone who experiences menstruation will tell you that it’s different for everyone). There can be waves of cramps and bodily aches, varying degrees of hemorrhaging, unpredictable emotional mood swings, and sometimes worst of all, the relentless insistence by men that periods are universally debilitating. Avid outdoorswoman and writer Jo Stewart shared with me that she’s “encountered many men who think that women are less suited to the outdoors for other ridiculous

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ORIGINS Menstruation and menses are derived from the Latin menses (month), which relates to the Greek mene (moon). The human menstrual cycle typically follows the 29.5 day moon cycle.

DRINK UP A Viennese scientist in the 1920s wrote that menstruating women released a substance he called menotoxins, which could stop dough rising and beer fermenting.

Moon icon by MarkieAnn Packer. Beer icon by parkjisun. Ovum icon by Hea Poh Lin. Astronaut icon by Nook Fulloption.

BY ALI WUNDERMAN


YA GON’ BLEED.

Let’s put this to rest: bears aren’t after your lady blood. This horrible myth was born when two hiking women were mauled to death by bears, causing a medieval-style panic which characterized over half the population as attractive to bears and therefore unfit to venture outdoors. The study, “Reactions of Black Bears to Human Menstrual Odors” in the Journal of Wildlife Management says nah. Dr. Steve Kajiura of Florida Atlantic University's Shark Lab also tells us sharks aren’t vying for our crotches either. Mosquitoes, too, are attracted to carbon dioxide, not blood.

reasons (perceived lack of strength or skill) but having hiked with and worked on expeditions with many men, most admit they never considered how I managed menstruation because it never crossed their minds.” Which is why my reflexive reaction when I didn’t get a straightforward answer about how to curb my crotch flow in the wild was disappointing: “survivalism must not be for me.” I’ve never had a particularly loving relationship with my cycle as is, and the idea that this uncontrollable uterine phenomenon would hinder my chance at survival didn’t make me feel particularly wilderness-competent. And if I, someone who regularly spends time in the wild and was actively seeking lessons in outdoor survival, didn’t feel welcomed into the practice by nature of birthright, surely there must be other uterus-having individuals that would shy away from learning about survival based on that alone. In an effort to lower that barrier to entry, I’ve looked to the wild women of the world to help me practically answer some of those questions. While basic principles of survival apply across environments, here I’m focusing on the biome where I live, the temperate coniferous forests of Northern California, which will have more in the way of natural resources than the arctic tundra, but fewer than a tropical rainforest. Hopefully you’ll never find yourself trying to survive in the wild on accident, but if you do, know that being a woman and having your period doesn’t make you unfit for outdoor adventure; just like in every other aspect in life, we are capable of accomplishing what men do while addressing an added challenge. Women have been surviving and thriving while menstruating for centuries, and there’s no reason to stop now. Get outdoors, get wild, and survive.

LEGGO MY EGG-O The human female egg is the largest cell in the human body. It is the only human cell that can be seen with the naked eye.

Okay, but what to do with the blood? When focusing on building a shelter and fire out of natural materials, the mess of free-bleeding can be a distraction. Fortunately, the majority of humanity’s history took place prior to the invention of tampons and pads, so we just have to know what to look for. A sea sponge is a good option, but difficult to obtain. If you have clothing, cotton strips can be used like a pad, but weigh the cost with the benefits: it’s more important for you to stay warm than to stay clean. According to Kendra Lynne of The Prepper Project, “Native American women would have used plant based materials, such as moss or inner bark shavings of Cedar, for sanitation needs. They wove plant fibers, or used animal hair to make pads.” Wilderness-survival-skills.com agrees that moss, with its natural antibiotic components, makes for a sanitary option.

YA GON’ ACHE.

This is where preparation is incredibly important: do NOT consume a plant if you aren’t 100% certain of what it is. With that said, Raspberry Leaf tea can help ease the pain of cramping, and Garden Sage tea can even reduce menstrual flow. Lavender rubbed on the abdomen can also reduce pain. LegendsofAmerica.com has a more exhaustive list of plants that can aid in period-related problems.

YA GON’ BE TIRED.

Rest. Survival is about allocation of resources, and that includes your own. My period makes me exhausted without any exertion at all, so prioritizing energy would be that much more important in a survival scenario. Build a shelter. Build a fire. Find water. Forget about food for now. Writer Rachel Jones recalled that on a 3-month wilderness excursion, “I stopped getting my period because I was so malnourished. I wasn’t eating enough.” Anyone who has seen Naked and Afraid knows eating is rarely a priority, since humans can survive a few weeks without food, so the body will redirect natural patterns to support emergency changes. That said, it is NOT recommended to stop eating in order to curb a period, because again, it is far more important to obtain energy than to ease the discomfort of menstruation.

SPACE AGE A 1964 NASA report questioned matching a “temperamental psychophysiologic human” (aka a woman on her cycle) with a “complicated machine” (aka a spacecraft). It concluded that “it seems doubtful that women will be in demand for space roles in the very near future.”

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Misadventures Issue 3


R E AT OW N Accomplished marathon swimmer Kim Chambers on her biggest fears, and finding her flow in the ocean’s ever-changing conditions

PHOTOS by Kate Webber

BY RHEA CORTADO KIM CHAMBERS STARTED HER 30-mile marathon swim from the shark-inhabited waters of the Farallon Islands to the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco in the dead of night. “When you’re jumping into pitch black water, it is the most profound leap of faith,” says Chambers. She is the first woman to complete this 17-hour crossing. Humans are not meant to swim across the open ocean. Take away light, air, and expected rules of gravity and the way your limbs move, your eyes see, and your ears hear are turned

upside down in swishing salt water. Dropping a stray body anywhere in the open sea is rough enough, but the Farallon Islands off the coast of San Francisco— endearingly nicknamed The Devil’s Teeth—are among the most inhospitable peaks of rock; they are battered by waves, exposed to fierce winds, and inhabited by great white sharks. No one was in more disbelief than Chambers herself. “When you actually apply yourself to a goal, your mind and your body can do far more than you think you can,” she recalls.

OCEANS SEVEN This challenge consists of seven long-distance open water swims: the North Channel, the Cook Strait, the Molokai Channel, the English Channel, the Catalina Channel, the Tsugaru Strait and the Strait of Gibraltar. Only six people, including Kim Chambers, have completed it. Three out of the six are women.

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SURVIVE & THRIVE

In 2009, Chambers fell down the stairs of her apartment and injured her leg so badly that doctors told her she might never recover full use of it again. Multiple surgeries, pain meds and physical therapy sessions later, she started swimming in the pool as a form of rehab. Shortly after, she was diving into the vast 54-degree saltwater pool of the San Francisco Bay with

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Misadventures Issue 3

nothing more than a swimsuit. “When these guys invited me to swim in the bay, it was like every single cell in my body came alive. It could have been because I was freezing cold!” Chambers laughed. “I will never forget looking out at this cove and going, ‘this is what I’ve been looking for’…. It was like this secret society of adventurers.” Since then, Chambers has swum

solo across the English Channel and is the sixth person to complete the Ocean Seven challenge—akin to hiking the Seven Summits. Though she still has big goals in the far horizon, Chambers’ latest swims shift the attention from breaking records to raising awareness and funds for charities near to her heart. Last November, Chambers was part of an international team that swam across the Dead Sea to raise global awareness about its falling sea level. Most recently, on May 5, Chambers joined a team that swam from southern California across the Mexico border to benefit the Colibrí Center for Human Rights. She is the subject of a forthcoming documentary titled Kim Swims directed by Kate Webber. FEARSOME The Farallon Islands were known as the “Islands of the Dead” by the American Indians who lived in the Bay Area before the Europeans arrived.

Ocean icon by Nate Gallagher. Island icon by Edwin Prayogi M. Bathtub icon by Juraj Sedlák.

You come out on the other side and your soul has moved. You’ve become a different human being.


PHOTOS Kim at the Gulf of Farallones, off the coast of California. They lie 30 miles outside the Golden Gate Strait, which separates San Francisco Bay from the Pacific Ocean. Photos by Kate Webber

HOW DO YOU G E T I NTO T HE ENDUR ANCE MINDSE T BE F O RE A SW I M?

I save as much energy as possible going into a swim. Physically I’ve cut down my training, but mentally I interact with as few people as possible because it's a drain on me. I’ve become pretty spiritual. Wherever I am in the world I usually attend a shrine. In Japan, I visited a 10,000-year-old shrine and said a prayer with my team. I did the same thing in Ireland. Here, the Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, there’s a labyrinth that you can walk. I just say, “I pray for a safe passage.” I joke about it now but I do all of my laundry. I kid you not, I leave my apartment completely spic and span even though I’m already very tidy. It's the little things you do. Who cares about my laundry if I die? There are so many variables swimming in the open ocean. WHAT DO YOU F E A R B E F O RE A SW I M?

BIGGER THAN YOUR BATHTUB There are 328 million cubic miles of seawater on earth, covering about 71% of the Earth’s entire surface.

H OW D O Y OU D E A L W IT H T H AT ?

With the Farallones swim, it was very risky. You’re pushing boundaries, but at what point do you have to say, “that’s enough”? Nudging that edge is part of what makes it captivating for me….I’m a very all or nothing person. There’s no gray area for me—which is not always a good thing. The focus I had going into that [Farallones] swim was, “No. This is what I’m doing and if something bad happens to me, it sounds really morbid, but at least I’m doing something that I love.” I feel most alive when I’m out there. It’s such a primal experience. My mentor said being at the Farallones is like being in heaven and talking to the devil at the same time. You come out on the other side and your soul has moved. You’ve become a different human being. The scary part is that I’m pushing myself into a different realm. I know to expect the unexpected. Something will always go wrong. It’s scary but it’s also very humbling

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LIVING AMPHIBIOUSLY

...being at the Farallones is like being in heaven and talking to the devil at the same time. because I have controlled what I can control and the rest is out of my control. I’m equally scared and allured by it… So many of us are afraid that if we push ourselves—what if we hurt ourselves or what if we die? What had been my biggest fear up to my swim in Sacramento was a sense of failure. I had made it so public and those islands are so special to me. WHAT HAPPENED D U RI NG YO U R AT TEMPTED SWIM F RO M SAC RA ME NTO TO TI BUR ON THAT HE LP E D YO U OV E RCO M E YOUR FE AR O F FA I LU RE ?

Whatever the outcome, Mother Nature is always the boss. I got out of the water after 24 hours because the winds had whipped up 25-30 knots. I was surprised with myself because I felt at ease and satisfied. For the first time, I didn’t see it as a failure. It was a non-complete. It was the furthest I’ve ever swum in my life. There was a maturity I had gained for myself… I gave it my everything that was within my control. WHAT GOES THR OUGH YO U R HE A D WHI LE YOU’R E SWI MMI NG? HOW D O Y OU STAY FOCUSE D ?

I pick my team very very carefully. They are people

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who are very special to me, like my mum and really close friends who also have expertise in being able to swim alongside behind me… I always like to make eye contact with my boat captain. The captain will do a quiet nod or a thumbs up. It’s just such a gift. You go through some really vulnerable patches. Your mind is telling you, “I’m cold.” Or, “You’ve just vomited all your calories. How are you going to complete the swim?” You’re having these conversations in your head. I try to relax by focusing on a team member… When I swam from Molokai to Oahu across the Molokai channel there’s probably an eight-hour of stretch during the night that I have no recollection of. It’s like you’re in a dreamstate, the flow. Was I sleep swimming? You get in this trance, and then it’s broken by my team blowing the whistle every 30 minutes. Time to feed, and they throw me a drink bottle on a rope. Or an interaction with nature that blows my mind. I’ve had dolphins swim around me, beside me. It just fills my heart when you can have these interactions with wild animals and they know I’m a friend and not a foe. That’s a humbling experience. It makes it hard to come back to life on land. Everything is so prescribed here. We can be so detached from nature—our connection to nature, and our place in the ecosystem.


H OW TO E NDU RE

THE M IS A DV E NT U R E S SUMMER GUIDE 25


SURVIVE

Sore Muscle Balm.com You’re going the distance. You’re going for speed. But, afterwards, rub this da-bomb salve on your bad self. YOU WILL NEED

• apple cider • ½ cup coconut oil • ¼ cup grated beeswax • 2 tsp. cayenne powder • 2 tsp. ginger or turmeric powder • 15 drops peppermint essential oil • 15 drops lavender essential oil • glass jar • saucepan • metal tin, or container of some kind

Three Ways To Coconut Drink that milk; eat that meat. YOU WILL NEED

• 1-3 coconuts, definitely • screwdriver, maybe • oven • pan • towel • garbage bag • knife • mallet, maybe

DIRECTIONS

1. Using screwdriver, poke a ½-inch hole in the top of the coconut. Turn upside down over a vessel of some sort. Allow coconut to drain completely. (May need a few final shakes for good measure.) 2. OR: Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Place coconut on pan, and bake for 10 minutes. When the shell has cracked, remove and let cool for 2-3 minutes. Next, wrap coconut in a towel, place in a garbage bag, and whack vigorously against a hard surface, until you feel the coconut loose from its mortal coil. Unbundle, and use knife to delicately pry coconut meat from the shards of its shell. If the coconut fiber continues to cling to the meat, peel away carefully using the knife. 3. OR: Wrap coconut in towel. Tap firmly and confidently with mallet. When the coconut shell has cracked, use your fingers to split it in two. Set both halves upside down, and strike with mallet to loosen the meat. Use knife to remove the meat completely, and to peel away the remaining layer of fiber.

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Homemade Sunscreen In the summer, we ellipse a little closer to that big burning orb in the sky. Better to be safe than sorry. YOU WILL NEED

• ½ cup olive or almond oil • ¼ cup beeswax • ¼ cup coconut oil • ¼ cup coconut oil • 2 Tbsp. zinc oxide • 1 tsp. vitamin E oil • optional: 2 Tbsp. shea butter

DIRECTIONS

1. Combine all ingredients except zinc oxide in a large glass jar. 2. Fill a trusty saucepan with a few inches of water and put on medium heat. 3. Put a lid on the jar (loosely!) and stand it up in the saucepan. 4. As the water heats up, the ingredients in the jar will start to melt. Shake or stir them occasionally. When all the ingredients are completely melted, add the zinc oxide, stir in well and pour into whatever jar or tin you will use for storage (pint-sized mason jars?). 5. Stir occasionally as it cools to make sure zinc oxide is evenly distributed. 6. Lather up and get some Vitamin D!

DIRECTIONS

1. Fill a saucepan with 2 inches of water and place over medium-low heat. 2. Pour coconut oil and beeswax into the glass jar. 3. Place jar in saucepan, and let contents melt. Stir together. 4. Add cayenne, and ginger or turmeric. Stir. 5. Remove from saucepan, and allow to cool, but only slightly. Mix in essential oils. 6. Pour into container, and let set. 7. Apply liberally to aching muscles or broken hearts. NOTE Turmeric can and will stain your skin. It’s a very pleasant yellow, we think, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

How To Run Barefoot (Just In Case) Shoes, shmoes. That’s my opinion. YOU WILL NEED • your feet • the ground

DIRECTIONS

1. Start slow. You need to acclimate your feet. Stand and walk on gravel to toughen up your soles, and then try running on a soft surface, like wet sand or newly-sprinklered grass. 2. Practice. When running barefoot, your foot should strike the ground in the middle, instead of on the heel. Keep your foot parallel to the ground, and don’t be afraid to let your heel make contact, just make sure your mid-foot touches down first. 3. Use short, quick strides. When starting a new stride, lift your foot straight up, rather than pushing off the ground, as you might do in...shoes. 4. Transition slowly! Start by running one block or less. Listen to your body and don’t do anything that causes pain. 5. Little by little, go farther and farther. Incorporate barefoot running into your regular running routine, gradually increasing the distance. Build up your arch muscles, and stretch those Achilles tendons. And you’re off: clear eyes, bare feet, no shoes. ADAPTED FROM REI’s Expert Advice for Barefoot/Minimalist Running Basics.


HOW TO: ENDURE

2. Wash and remove any stems or cores from your fruit. Peel if necessary; cherries and berries do not require peeling, but peaches and pears do. Cut into large chunks. 3. For every cup of fruit, add ¾ cup of sugar. If the fruit is extra ripe or sweet, add 1-2 tablespoons of lemon juice to serve as a thickener. 4. Stir continuously for 15-40 minutes, depending on the fruit. How do you know how long? Scoop out a spoonful: if it holds its shape for 60 seconds, you’re in business. 5. Remove jars, pouring water back into the pot, and arrange on a clean towel. Fill with fruit mixture, leaving ¼ - ½ inch of space at the top. Wipe the jars’ rims with a clean towel or rag, and apply lids, tightly.

SelfPreservation Jams, jellies, and preserves. What’s the difference, you ask? It’s all about the size of the fruit: jams are made of mashed-up bits, jelly is made from just the juice, and preserves use big, ol’ fruit pieces to really capture a moment in time, a fleeting feeling of a season slipping through your fingers like fine-grain sand, on and on, forever.

How To Make A Slingshot Part magic, part physics, all business. YOU WILL NEED

• a Y-shaped tree branch with at least a 30-degree fork • ¼ inch surgical latex tubing • leather strips • dental floss • saw • knife

DIRECTIONS

1. First thing’s first: find that Y-shaped tree branch. Hardwoods like oak, ash, dogwood, hickory, and maple are preferable. Don’t forget to look up! You may spot one on the ground, but odds are, you will need to saw one off a tree.

YOU WILL NEED

• fruit of your choice • knife (and peeler, optional) • sugar • lemon juice • tongs • 2 large pots • sterilized canning jars, with lids

DIRECTIONS

1. Remove lids from your canning jars, and sterilize by submerging jars completely in a large pot of water, and heating for 15 minutes at a roiling boil. (Place the lids in a second pot, and simmer.) Leave lids and jars in hot water as you prepare your preserves. Make sure to fill within an hour, or they will need to be sterilized again.

6. Place jars back inside the pot, and bring water to a boil. The amount of sealing time will vary based on the fruit you use, so finding a specific recipe is recommended; once time is up, remove jars promptly, and place on towel to cool. 7. You should hear a pinging sound soon after jars have been removed—don’t be alarmed; it’s just the vacuum seal taking hold. 8. Voila! Preserves preserved. ADAPTED FROM The Forgotten Arts, 1972

2. Dry your wood, either by letting it sit for a very long time, or placing it near (but not in!) a fire, until the hissing sound of moisture evaporating from the wood has come to a stop. Then wait a day or two, to be extra sure. Never can be too sure about these things. 3. Using your knife, carve notches on each of the prongs, at roughly the same height. 4. Wrap tubing around the prongs to get a sense of how long you want your sling to be. The shorter the sling, the more powerful your shot—but too short, and you won’t be able to pull back with force. Choose wisely. 5. Cut your length of tubing in half. Loop one end of a half-tube around a prong, and tie with dental floss. Do the same on the other prong with the other half-tube. 6. Cut your leather strip into a rectangle, about 4 inches wide and 2 inches high. Bore holes, using your knife or teeth.

7. Slide dangling tube ends into the holes, and tie off tightly with dental floss. 8. Your slingshot is now complete. Careful now. You wouldn’t want to take out somebody’s eye, now would you? ADAPTED FROM The Art of Manliness. (Pfft.)

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THRIVE

The Handmaid's Sail With this simple sail, you can harness the power of the wind for your own nefarious purposes. YOU WILL NEED

• 2 Y-shaped sticks roughly three feet long • a rectangular piece of tarp, fabric, or sailcloth • a few feet of thin rope • a knife or a pair of scissors • a vessel (skateboard, canoe, roller blades, something of your own design?)

DIRECTIONS

1. Overlap the sticks so that the vertical legs of the Y’s overlap and the angles open in opposite directions. 2. Lash the two sticks together tightly with three tight knots. It should now look like a very wide, stretched-out H. 3. Stretch the fabric from corner to corner of the frame and secure it to the sticks by cutting holes in the corners of the fabric and tying knots. 4. For extra stability on a very windy day, use shorter sticks as cross-pieces, connecting the corners of the H together. 5. Mount your vessel, hold tightly to the middle stick of the H, and angle your body so the wind is behind you. 6. Away!

Pool Floaty Out Of Thin Air Card tricks and shaggy-dog stories just aren’t cutting it anymore at today’s parties. Wow the pool crowd by fashioning this pool floaty out of literal trash. YOU WILL NEED

• 2 pool noodles • 1 mesh laundry bag • zip ties • scissors

DIRECTIONS

1. Fold one pool noodle in half, and cut to create two pieces of the same length. 2. Place second pool noodle perpendicular to one of the recently-trimmed short pieces, end-to-end. Zip-tie the ends together. 3. Bend the pool noodle, creating a U shape, and zip-tie that end to the other end of the short piece. The U shape should now be a sideways D.

4. Flip over. Zip-tie the other short piece to the same spot, so the short pieces are parallel, and sandwiching the ends of the long pool noodle. 5. Tighten zip ties, and trim any stray plastic, to avoid spiky parts. 6. Retrieve laundry bag, and remove the drawstring. Fold mesh in half, and drape over one of the short pieces. 7. String zip ties through the mesh, and around the U of the bent pool noodle. Stretch to make a seat, and pull taut for support. 8. Deposit in pool, lake, river, or stagnant puddle. Drape legs over the short pieces, just so. 9. You should be floating now. Please direct all comments to our complaints department.

Dazed and Infused: DIY Cucumber Vodka Cucumbers: refreshing, cool—the consummate summer flavor. YOU WILL NEED

• 1 cucumber • 1 bottle of vodka • 1 big jar

DIRECTIONS

1. Peel that cuke. 2. Trim the ends and cut it in half lengthwise. 3. Scoop out all the seeds. Ew. 4. Chop the cuke and put the pieces in the jar. 5. Pour in the vodka, seal, and store in a cool, dark place for 3 days - 2 weeks. 6. Strain and siphon your cucumber vodka into a new vessel. 7. Imbibe with great ceremony and pomp.

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HOW TO: ENDURE

How to Speak Firefly Male and female fireflies have different communication styles—learn to imitate a lady-firefly to attract a glowing swarm of admirers. YOU WILL NEED

• penlights • a warm summer night

Sparkling Prickly Pear Margaritas

DIRECTIONS

1. Like an awkward 7th grade dance, male fireflies have elaborate flash patterns, while female fireflies generally rest on a plant and respond to the flashes when they find a flash pattern they recognize. If you wait and watch, you will notice females in the grass and bushes responding to the hovering males. 2. Watch the ladies! Note how long they wait to respond, and how many flashes they respond with. The correct interval says hey dudes—play your cards right and this could work out. 3. Your turn—wait for the males to flash and mimic the female response. 4. Invite a gentle cloud of randy fireflies to alight upon thy suggestive penlight!

The prickly pear cactus fruit, or sabra, is a terrific cocktail ingredient, if you can get past the spines. Luckily, ready-made prickly pear syrup is available just about anywhere (i.e. the Internet) and well worth the hunt. When mixed with tequila, it makes for a shockingly magenta margarita...topped off here with a little bit of sparkle. YOU WILL NEED

• 2 oz. silver tequila • 2 oz. ginger beer • 1 1/2 oz. Grand Marnier • 1 oz. fresh lime juice • 2 oz. prickly pear syrup • coarse salt • lime wedges • margarita glasses (or any glasses with a thick rim) • cocktail shaker

DIRECTIONS

1. Pour salt into a plate, rim glasses with lime wedge, and dip in salt to coat. Fill glasses with crushed ice. 2. Add tequila, Grand Marnier, lime juice, and prickly pear syrup to cocktail shaker, and shake vigorously for 30 seconds. 3. Pour mixture into glass, then add a dash of ginger beer on top. 4. Stir. Add some more lime wedges, too. (You can never have too many lime wedges.) 5. See you later!

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Follow Your Bliss

With over 13 years of leading surf, yoga, and wellness vacations, SwellWomen prides itself on creating life transforming experiences for women all across the world.

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Now offering experiences in Maui, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Thailand, Belize, Sri Lanka, Anguila, Costa Rica, Indonesia, and Key Largo. Call Lulu Agan to get started planning your perfect, luxury wellness retreat at aloha@swellwomen.com or 1-800-399-MAUI.


GAME-CHANGERS UNITE

Women in the Wild Going where no woman has gone before

LINDSEY ELLIOTT & JAINEE DIAL PHOTOS Courtesy of Lindsey Elliott, Jainee Dial, and REI

WYLDER

BY ZOË BALACONIS

When Wylder launched their Kickstarter campaign in 2016, it didn’t take long for them to reach their goal—and then some. An online marketplace that curates and aggregates the best outdoor gear for women from around the world? Yes, please. Since that fortuitous start, the Wylder team has been weathering the ups and downs of starting a business from scratch. According to co-founder Lindsey Elliott, “There are so many unpredictable aspects to this entrepreneurship journey. After two years of ideating and dreaming, it was strange for both Jainee and me to switch gears and be running an e-commerce shop. What was completely unexpected is that it felt like we started over when we finally opened for business—like all of the sudden, the game changed, and we were back at square one.” So much of their mission is based on looking beyond the bounds of e-commerce. They are devoted to being active in preserving the spaces that inspired them in the first place. “It’s a fascinating time to be a new company in the outdoor industry based in Utah. It’s core to our mission to partner with nonprofit organizations to build their capacity and educate our audience. We launched with Outdoor Alliance as a partner specifically because of their work on the issue of public lands management. We need to engage beyond social media ranting and all work to fight slacktivism with direct action and engagement.”

SALLY JOHNSON REI/OUTESSA BY ZOË BALACONIS

Sally Johnson at REI had a good idea. A great idea, actually, and it all started with her observation that “women want to recreate differently and experience the outdoors differently.” She often heard women wonder how they could become a part of a community where being active in the outdoors is normal—part of the culture—part of the lifestyle. “We created Outessa as a response to that.” She shared a moment from last year’s event: “Everyone had just arrived and it was like summer camp—no one knew each other—60% of the women who came last year came solo, but after the first day we made a campfire and broke out the s’mores and suddenly it was BFFs for life. I’ve run a lot of events in my life, and it’s really cool to see the connections and diversity at this event in particular.” When asked how Outessa treads the line of being an offline outdoors event and a connective, social media nexus, Johnson emphasized “the live experience. However, you know more than I do that community is built in multiple ways now. It’s built in-person and through digital communication. It’s all about how can we connect women to the outdoors and that outdoor life, and a big piece of that is connecting them to other women, whether it be through digital communication or at the events. We see that combination as vital to how women are living their lives now.” In short, Outessa is for the woman who hears “the outdoors calling.”

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GAME-CHANGERS UNITE

AMBREEN TARIQ

ELISE KNICELY

BY ZOË BALACONIS

BY JESSICA C. MALORDY

“There is a lack of diversity in the outdoors. There is a lack of diversity in the people who are visiting our national parks and our public lands,” said Instagram visionary Ambreen Tariq. She knew she wanted to join that conversation, so she turned to social media. @BrownPeopleCamping “started as a kind of glib hashtag, then became an [Instagram] account, and now it’s so much more than brown people or camping. It’s a very simple formula: I’m going to talk about all of these things that are important to me—just through a photo or a story, and somehow that opens up so many opportunities to explore bigger issues, like privilege and the role it plays in all our all lives, including our ability to access and enjoy the outdoors. @BrownPeopleCamping has brought together a community that’s incredibly diverse—people of color, allies, folks who feel underrepresented—all engaging in all sorts of issues. And it’s really important to me to use the platform to talk not just about people of color and getting people of color outside; it’s about what the outdoors means to everybody. When we talk about being outdoors, there’s this thematic refrain: it’s challenging and it’s inspirational—but why? We lack that conversation. Something I like to do is dig into those assumptions—and what the outdoors means to me may not be the same for you, but we’re able to come together based on our mutual appreciation. So, I like to reflect on what it means to be a person of color in the outdoors, a woman, a person of faith, an immigrant—all of these things matter to shape my love for the outdoors. I try to encourage others to be self-reflective and to become part of the larger outdoors community.”

“To be honest, I never wanted to found a nonprofit… I’ve always heard that it was a beast of a job, and man, that’s the truth.” Elise Knicely is able, and she is also honest.

@BROWNPEOPLECAMPING

SHE IS ABLE

Her nonprofit, She Is ABLE, is an Atlanta-based organization that offers outdoor trips to women recovering from trafficking, exploitation, abuse, and addiction, providing access to outdoor experiences that these women usually wouldn’t have. “We believe in the power of a woman, and that all women possess the qualities to be Adventurous and Brave, Leaders and Encouragers,” Knicely explains. She also believes—as so many of us do—that the outdoors is key to unlocking that power. In retrospect, the seeds for She is ABLE have been planting themselves all of Knicely’s life: “From backpacking through New Zealand to coaching women’s soccer in Africa, I have had the privilege of partnering with powerful women across the world.” On top of that, she grew up in the outdoors, hiking, playing sports, and rock climbing. But it was Knicely’s experience volunteering in the Red Light District of Mumbai that resonated most strongly. “I will never forget walking down one of the boulevards in India and seeing women lined up in cages along the back alleys of the road. It looked like a kennel for young girls and women. I was faced with a reality that existed for millions of women across the world, and I knew that I would never be the same...that ultimately, this work would become my purpose.” Last September, after several “casual, drive-by conversations” with the staff at the women’s safe house where she was volunteering, Knicely quit her full-time job to found She is ABLE. She describes it as the most challenging season of her life. “I casually dropped ‘hey, we should find a way to get these women outside.’ The volunteer coordinator was elated and immediately asked how. I was newly married, working a full-time job...so I shrugged and said ‘not sure’—but I knew that the opportunity and demand was there, and I was the one to do it.” Knicely’s dedication to the women She is ABLE serves underscores her determination. “What we do and who we serve is a unique, challenging, and incredibly beautiful picture of redemption in the lives of women who, often not by choice, have fallen behind. We have a special and rare opportunity to help them redefine what they are able to do, adopt a new love and care for their physical body, and see breakthrough as they experience the freedom and power of being a woman in the outdoors. We are grateful for the opportunity to do what we do, every single day.”

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Misadventures Issue 3


KAREN BEATTIE POLARTEC

BY JESSICA C. MALORDY

PHOTOS Courtesy of Ambreen Tariq, Elise Knicely, Karen Beattie, and Maren Keeley

As a Senior Product Manager at Polartec, Karen Beattie’s got you covered, literally: she oversees all base-layer, next-to-skin Polartec products. “I am technically-inclined and really into how things work in the physical world. My job revolves around picking the right products and bringing them forward from concept, getting them into commercial form, and managing their lifecycle,” she explains. Karen’s typical day “has the same drudgery as everyone else’s”— emails, meetings, to-do lists—but good days are a different story. One day, she might meet with customers to research what their needs and wants are for their outdoor apparel. Another day, she might find herself chatting with the engineers, discussing the product needs she’s compiled and the advances in materials or processing that could solve some of the problems she’s identified. When asked how the outdoor industry has changed since she started her career, Karen admits that the market as we know it today simply did not exist. There were a handful of small companies run by their founders, who got their start because they were “personally motivated to solve some of the discomfort, durability or safety problems of their gear.” Karen laughs as she recalls that even the most savvy outdoor retailers were still wearing polypropylene underwear, heavy wool sweaters, and waterproof breathables that leaked. In sum: “There were lots of low-hanging fruit, obvious problems to solve.” But now that the industry has caught up, offering plenty of gear that can withstand the trials and tribulations we put it through, the key for brands is differentiation. Thanks to Karen, Polartec has recently taken a big step in that department: “My most exciting project was rallying for Polartec, a company often known for warm and fuzzy, to develop and market a cooling fabric. I designed the fabric, from appearance to making technical choices about yarns and structures to working with engineers to turn a machine that usually measures insulation and warmth into measuring cooling. After training for marketing and sales, I now get to see that product, Polartec® Delta®, take off in the market. I just did a part in a video with Oiselle, talking about their Delta® shirts as a secret weapon for the Polartec Oiselle Birdstrike all-female relay team, during their grueling race through the desert from L.A. to Las Vegas. So this project had everything: plenty of techno-geeking, and working with people in the outdoor industry to make a difference.”

MAREN KEELEY & MEGHAN FRENCH DUNBAR CONSCIOUS COMPANY BY RACHEL ZURER

It started, as so many great adventures do, over a glass of wine between friends. In 2014, former coworkers Meghan French Dunbar and Maren Keeley were chatting at happy hour about a new world they were each in the process of discovering and falling in love with: the world of business as a force for good. Meghan had recently earned her MBA in sustainable business, and Maren was partway through a similar program. Both had always known they wanted to accomplish something meaningful with their lives and their jobs, but as they each approached 30, the jumble of nonprofit work, restaurant jobs, and journalism they’d been trying just wasn’t seeming right. Meanwhile, in grad school, their eyes were opening to a powerful, growing community that seemed to hold the key to the future they’d each imagined. These pioneers were creating companies and businesses where being your best, most authentic self is a prerequisite for success; where the culture is nurturing yet challenging, demanding yet fun, and absolutely based on trust; and, perhaps most importantly, where making a profit is a means to solving social problems, not an end in and of itself. They loved all the inspiring stories they were hearing from this world, and wanted more. Like a magazine about it. Some Googling made it clear that such a thing didn’t exist. Then they had a ridiculous, crazy idea: why not start one themselves? Thus was born Conscious Company, the nation’s first print magazine about business as a force for good. Thirteen issues later, the business now has 6 employees, has expanded to a media company, and is hosting its first conference in June. “In 20 years, I hope I look in the mirror and say something to the effect of, ‘Damn, woman, you really went for it, made a huge difference, and didn’t waste a second.’ It was scary taking the leap to starting a business like this, but here’s how I frame it for myself,” Meghan declares. “What’s the bigger risk? a) Trying and failing? Or b) Not trying and moving forward leading a mediocre life, knowing you never truly pursued your dreams?”

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FROM SOURCE TO SEA Closing the Confidence Gap Three women, a canoe, and 3,800 miles By KORRIN L. BISHOP

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DOWNRIVER, UPSTREAM

will have completed a 3,800-mile journey from its ultimate source where the women first stood. Alyce and Lisa will also go that distance, arriving six months later on November 27, 2016, with critical support from the third member of their expedition, filmmaker Victoria Carpenter, who will transform their journey into a documentary, including interviews with people they meet along the way. They will become the first all-female team to travel the length of the Missouri River system by canoe, and just the seventh expedition to ever complete the source-to-sea trip in one go.

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T’S MAY 13, 2016 in the Centennial Mountains of Montana. The sky is a cold, crisp blue, and the landscape is covered in a blinding white snow. Hours before, Alyce Kuenzli and Lisa Pugh hiked alongside the rushing sound of Hell Roaring Creek, but now, at 8,800 feet elevation, that water is buried under the snow. The moment feels quiet, surreal, standing at the exact point where a tiny trickle surfaces from its aquifer and presents as Brower’s Spring, the utmost source of the Missouri River system. Having started her period several miles before, Alyce braces the chill and pulls her menstrual cup from the hot heat of her own body. She empties its rich red at the source, watching the blood steam and melt the snow. The snow Alyce melts there will flow back down Hell Roaring Creek, west to the Red Rock River, into the Beaverhead, then the Jefferson. In about 300 miles from its initial descent, it will meet up with the Madison and Gallatin Rivers to form the Missouri. By the time it reaches the confluence with the Mississippi River, just north of St. Louis, and flows south into the open Gulf of Mexico, it

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AGE-OLD WISDOM Lisa, Alyce, and Victoria interviewed girls and women along the river ranging in age from six to 76 to see what they had to say about self-esteem and confidence.

Six-year-old Imani defines confidence as “excited or happy” and shared how she overcame her fear of doing a handstand in gymnastics by trying, again and again, until she got it.

30-year-old Anne finds a source of confidence through her dogs and close relationships with animals.

With encouragement from her parents and role modeling from her brothers, 76-year-old Felomina has never seen gender as a barrier to her confidence.

Paddle icon by Dolly Holmes.

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LOCKING IN AS THE fourth-largest river system in the world, paddling the Missouri is no simple feat. But Alyce, Lisa, and Victoria, who all hail from Minnesota, have over 20 years of combined experience as educators and Outward Bound instructors. In 2014, Alyce canoed the Mississippi River from its source in Itasca, Minnesota to the open Gulf of Mexico. “When that expedition was over, I came home to Minnesota and wasn’t sure what I was going to do next,” Alyce says. “I thought, well, I am going to be 29 in September, and I should probably be done with adventuring and get a ‘real job.’ After a rough few months, struggling with depression, one day I decided, ‘No!’ I am going to keep adventuring, and I am going to make it my career.” “When Alyce asked me if I wanted to paddle the Missouri-Mississippi from source to sea, I was in the middle of an 850-mile bicycle tour advocating against a proposed mine near the Boundary Waters,” Lisa recalls. “My initial response was ‘No, thanks.’ Then about a week later it was, ‘What was I thinking? Of course I’m in!’” Victoria, meanwhile, had been managing a recording studio in Minneapolis and spending her summers gardening to support what she refers to as her “art habit.” An adventurous spirit herself, she was the perfect woman to round out the team, and started filming even before Alyce and Lisa began paddling, interviewing women about their experiences with self-esteem. “We want to show all of the bits of what goes into something big like this. It takes a lot of hard days, a lot of failure, but it also takes a lot of passion and commitment,” she pauses, then laughs. “And some crazy ladies!” Crazy, but confident. Alyce’s inspiration to take on the Missouri River System as her next adventure came from reading The Confidence Code while on her Mississippi trip, and learning about the confidence gap. (The Atlantic, reporting on the topic, said


that “women applied for a promotion only when they met 100 percent of the qualifications. Men applied when they met 50 percent.” Likewise, in the outdoors, Backpacker found that “no matter how we sliced the data, women of any outdoor experience level were, on average, less confident in their skills than men with the equivalent experience.”) Alyce recalls: “I realized I wanted to make an impact in the way women and girls perceive confidence. At the same time, I learned that no woman had traveled the fourth-longest river system by canoe. That is where the idea for the expedition came from.” I first learned about them from my boyfriend, who was paddling the same river system that summer. I was captivated by the honesty of how they shared their story. In this intimate and powerful community of paddlers, Alyce, Lisa, and Victoria were unabashedly themselves, out in the open, flaws and all, paddling the hell out of a river. There were photos and footage of hairy armpits and grouchy faces right alongside shots of intense laughter and scenic shores. But peppered throughout it all was the conversation of three women trying to figure out what it really means to be confident. Their stories bubbled over—one narrative eddying into another. Victoria had moved from her home in Minneapolis to Anaconda, Montana, where she would spend the first three months of the expedition, allowing her to be closer to Alyce and Lisa for resupplies and filming. She was there to see them off as they hiked up to the Missouri’s source at Brower’s Spring. “The views were unreal,” says Lisa. “We are lake women, and the mountain peaks hold a different element of splendor than where we normally travel. I love taking skills from one area where I am comfortable—canoe and dog sledding expeditions in northern Minnesota—and applying them somewhere new—a mountaineering expedition in Montana. We had everything we needed—and more—in terms of gear and skill; we just had to muster the courage and confidence to do it.”

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HEY SAY THE SHORTEST distance between two points is a straight line. But nobody told rivers that. The little canoe faced the powerful currents of wing dams and the incessant winds of

Clocking in as the fourth-largest river system in the world, paddling the Missouri is no simple feat. thunderstorms in the Great Plains. Then, to make matters worse, just as they reached the very last of the reservoirs in South Dakota, Alyce and Lisa discovered some unwanted stowaways in their bags. “Each day, when we got to camp, we’d unpack our stuff to find these cockroach-like critters hiding among our things,” Lisa says. “The same thing was happening day after day. But we had a resupply coming up with Viki, so Alyce informed her of our infestation.” The paddlers hit the end of Lake Francis Case, and emptied out everything: food, clothes, equipment. When Victoria arrived, she brought fresh gear with her, in case Alyce and Lisa would need to quarantine their belongings. Among the arsenal of new supplies? A warm replacement layer. “None other than a giant teddy bear jumpsuit, complete with hood and ears, for each of us,” Lisa recalls. “I about had a conniption. This was the best possible solution that I could have imagined. We immediately put them on and spent the rest of the night laughing at our predicament and each other.” After some research, the women concluded their pest problem was less problematic than they thought—wood roaches—and would be solved by bagging up their gear to kill any lingering critters. “The next morning,” says Lisa, “two bears loaded a canoe full of garbage-bagged gear and paddled PADDLE FASTER The reservoirs Lisa and Alyce paddled in the Great Plains range from one to six miles wide.

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away while a third bear filmed the whole ordeal.” The wood roaches, in fact, proved to be less pesky than other things they met along the river. “We’d encounter men in fishing boats and they’d make statements like, ‘Do you know where you are? Do you know where you are going? Do you know what you are doing? Have you tipped at all?’ In these encounters, I always wondered: if we weren’t women, would they be saying this?” Despite coming this far, those words, the grind of the paddle, began to wear on them. “We had been on the slow pace of the reservoirs for what had seemed like forever,” Lisa remembers. “Alyce and I weren’t really getting along. We were tired, it was hot all the time, and the wind was as relentless as ever. At one point, I remember feeling the weight of the whole expedition, my whole life even, pressing down on me. Would the whole trip be this hard? Would Alyce and I pull through as friends? Would this expedition end up on the list of mistakes and failures I’d made in my life?” But—it wasn’t a man who rescued them from this litany of self-doubt. It was a four-year-old girl in South Dakota. “We were taking a much-needed rest at her family’s homestead,” Lisa says, “and we were coloring, when she reminded me that I could make my cat any color I liked. ‘It doesn’t have to look like a cat you see in real life,’ she told me. And for some reason, this reminder—that what we create doesn’t have to follow any rules, or look like anything—took away the pressure. I realized how beautiful this whole journey was, even in the darkest, most doubtful moments. That’s part of what made all of it so incredible. I think I colored the cat purple.” That moment, though just one of many inspirational stories that Alyce, Lisa, and Victoria have to share, captured for me the secret ingredient to confidence that they discovered along their journey: other people. It can be challenging to believe in yourself, alone; but believing in a team, or a community, is often easier, and sometimes even more powerful, than relying solely on your own strength. “One woman we interviewed referred to it as ‘collective confidence,’” Victoria says, and it really does make a difference when that collective confidence is shared among a group of women. Something as simple as upending the typical paddling dynamic, for instance, served as a constant source of inspiration throughout the journey. “When we would pass men and women paddling together, 99.9% of the time we would see the man in the stern steering the boat and the woman in the front,” Lisa reports. “Being out there with

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women eliminates that dynamic. You know that you’re both going to paddle in the back and the front. It gives you the opportunity to hone skills you may otherwise have not had the chance to.” They also learned that confidence comes not just from action, but from support. It’s easy to forget about the person holding the camera, dropping the food, making the logistical magic—but anyone who’s been on a long trip knows that that person is invaluable. Without Victoria, Alyce and Lisa would never have made it. Beyond each other, Lisa, Alyce, and Victoria were buoyed by the collective confidence of many “river angels”—people who live along the waterway and gladly came out to contribute things like hot showers, lodging in a real bed, a day with air conditioning, Internet, and wisdom. “We met so many amazing people along the way,” Victoria says. “I wasn’t a paddler prior to this trip, so it was an incredible subculture to be a part of. It gives you such hope in the power of community.” That summer, “community” meant all of the paddlers taking on the Missouri River. Separated by hundreds of miles, they nevertheless remained in touch, thanks to a simple gesture; each paddler, including my boyfriend Kris, buried a gift for those to follow, under a rock in Pierre, SD, to celebrate reaching the end of the large lakes that cross the Great Plains. “I was so excited when we got the message with the directions for the treasure hunt,” Alyce tells me. “It felt like a rightly-earned reward for having paddled Oahe, Sakakawea, and Fort Peck Reservoirs, since that’s such a challenging section of the expedition.” “We followed the clues to find a cache of candy and some classy South Dakota wine buried under a rock in the sun-baked earth,” Lisa says. “Alyce was especially stoked on the candy. The stash had been buried under a rock for about a month—that’s about how much farther along Kris was than us. Some ants had gotten into the Payday he’d left and eaten every crumb despite Kris’s efforts to critter-proof the thing. All that remained of that candy bar was a flattened wrapper and no evidence of tampering—like a magic trick. Don’t worry, there were four more bars for us to split.” “Lisa and I discussed what a cool tradition it was, and that we should leave something for paddlers behind us,” says Alyce. “When we told them about it, they were equally excited and said that they would leave something for Mike and Cookie, who were behind them. It became a tradition that connected the majority of the people who canoed the Missouri River that summer.” It's a juxtaposition to the other feeling the river evokes—that of loneliness. “At times, living that life,

GOIN SOLO The first source-to-sea descent of the Missouri River by a woman was completed solo in a kayak by Janet Moreland in 2013. On May 23, she’ll be taking on the 2,200-mile Yukon River source-to-sea.

Kayak icon by H Alberto Gongora.

DOWNRIVER, UPSTREAM


I’ve never felt a higher high than that of completing this wild, beautiful journey. 39


DOWNRIVER, UPSTREAM

They say the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. But nobody told rivers that.

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even with another person, has a certain element of disconnection,” Alyce confesses. “Something I forgot on the river is that life continues for everyone outside of it. Having something to pass along to others was a truly amazing experience.” Lisa agrees. “My most powerful memories will always be connected to the people. Accustomed to life that fluxes with the river; the seemingly relentless sun, wind, or storms; the changes that industry and outsiders bring through...these people know how to endure, and delight in helping you do the same. How could you not keep going? How could you not pass it along? It is a cyclical flow of kindness running from source to sea and back again. All you have to do is be near the river to jump into it.”

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EAR THE END OF their journey, in Mississippi, Alyce, Lisa, and Victoria visited a program for middle schoolers to talk with the girls about their trip. “It was— ” Victoria takes a long pause. “It was really interesting. That was probably the most interesting interview to me because it was this group of underrepresented girls seemingly being pushed into all the cliché paths of someone who


identifies as a woman. The program is doing amazing things, but at the same time—the boys got to go outside and play basketball, and the girls had to stay inside and bake cupcakes. It was a safe space, yet still supported very constructed expectations.” Alyce remembers trying to speak frankly to the girls and being quickly redirected: “We don’t talk about things like that here.” For Alyce, this experience is a clear example of why women and girls need opportunities to break down harmful stigmas. It is something that had been on her mind since she’d first strapped on snowshoes in Montana to find the river’s source. All rivers lead somewhere, and, eventually, this one widens into a broad, silty delta and empties into the Gulf. The trip was over, but it felt wrong for it to end. The conversations they had had—with each other and with women they met along the way— motivated them to form a nonprofit, aptly-named Source of Confidence, with the mission of supporting girls and women in navigating their own paths. It’s hard to synthesize the experience of three women’s journeys down a 3,800-mile waterway into a tidy narrative. Despite them having traveled that distance together, each woman’s story is unique. Each, like a river, ebbs and flows, meanders in and out of celebration and doubt, cheer

and sorrow. Each spans the full gamut of feeling, and in its own time. Maybe that’s what drew me to these women in the first place. I watched their story unfold from afar. Like them on their treasure hunt, I followed the clues they left behind. As if reading my mind, Victoria explains, “We don’t say what’s right or wrong, but share as many different perspectives as possible. That’s my goal with the documentary we’re making about the trip. We’re showcasing the idea that no one is perfect, that we face boundaries as female-identifiers, but that we can learn and grow through taking positive risks, processing failure, and celebrating success.” Victoria joined Alyce and Lisa in the boat for the last twenty-five miles to the sea. Looking back on the trip from source to sea, Lisa says, “I’ve never felt a higher high than that of completing this wild, beautiful journey. I’m so glad that Alyce and Viki were the women I got to share it with—followed shortly by seeing my parents and Alyce’s mom, who hitched a ride on the fishing boat we had hired to come pick us up from the end. If there were ever a moment I was capable of flight, it was standing on the bow of that speedboat, moving 60 mph upriver with my heart full of pure joy, pride, and wonder. We did it. We really did it.” How could they not want to share that feeling?

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TAKE YOUR SHOT

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BEST LEFT IN THE DARK LOOKING EXPEDITION CAVES

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T H ER EGDRAACNTDE DC A N Y O N

BY PAGE BUONO PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN EGINOIRE

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THERE IS A CAVE I LONG TO TALK ABOUT, BUT THE LOCATION AND THE THINGS HELD INSIDE ARE SECRET; SECRET FOR MANY REASONS, NOT LEAST OF WHICH IS THE

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HE FIRST TIME I wanted to talk about it was the night before we entered the cave, while we prepared our things. Four people’s worth of gear splayed out: sleeping bags and tarps, wag bags and extra batteries, food and coffee and

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snacks, mapping tools and photography gear, first aid kits, extra lights, one set of clothes that could get wet, another to sleep in. And an extra seven meals each—a week’s worth, assuming you only ate one a day. After we’d ascended the 70-foot rope to the mouth of the cave, we slid our way into a

canyon so narrow that we had to turn sideways and pass our bags to one another. Along the walls, a string no thicker than a shoelace would offer guidance to someone traveling through the passage if it were flooded. After the narrow section, the cave opened a bit and we trudged through shallow pools

THE POINT Long, thin gypsum formations are common in limestone caves and can be described as acicular, a word derived from the Latin acus, meaning needle.

Needle icon by ProSymbols. Diving mask icon by Anton Gajdosik.

UNTRUSTWORTHINESS OF HUMAN HANDS.


before climbing another rope to an upper level of the cave, which is where we left those bags with the seven extra meals. Inside the cave, we mapped newly discovered passages and explored already mapped ones. One tunnel narrowed and narrowed and narrowed until I lay on my stomach,

reading angles and distances to the cartographer, and then crawled into a tiny room, never before seen by a human, where three-foot-long gypsum needles spouted up from the floor. They looked like over-sized rice noodles. But they were fragile and our mere presence in the room, the way we caused the

BELOW THE SURFACE Cave diving, or underwater speleology, takes a special skillset outside of the usual SCUBA certifications because of a number of hazards, including difficult routes, low visibility, and strong currents.

air to move, made them sway. The next time I almost said something was when, deep inside the cave, we took photographs to document formations in an enormous hall. I was with one team of three people, and two other teams were off in different directions. The team above us was climbing up to

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SOMEHOW THE DARK ACTED AS A CUSHION FOR MY IMAGINATION

explore high leads. In caves, these high leads often appear as black holes that swallow light from a headlamp, and you have to get closer to find out whether or not “they go.” The second man to climb placed his foot on a rock, thinking it secure, and sent it tumbling down to where it landed just feet from a young man posing to add scale to a photograph. In that moment, I flashed on the young man’s small plot at cave camp, where things were scattered about on his tarp: cheese crawling out of its package and a halfeaten Snickers bars resting between the pages of a book. And I thought about it every time I had to pee. In cave camp, you do your business over tarps and into plastic bags, or pee in bottles over the creek that rages through the cave. The route to the “latrine” involved stemming through a deep and narrow canyon. Left foot and left hand braced against one wall, right foot and hand braced against the other. It’s a move that probably would have made me wary in broad daylight, but somehow the dark acted as a cushion for my imagination. During every visit to the creek, I used my headlamp to locate a familiar place on the wall across from me, and tried to gauge whether or not the water was rising.

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KNEW BEFORE WE arrived to map and photograph the cave that the experience wasn’t something I would be able to write about explicitly. That though we would spend four days and three nights camping within the ancient limestone walls, I would leave only with stories to be shared amongst friends. These weren’t explicit instructions; there is no one to enforce my silence. But the confidentiality that comes with entering caves, caring about caves, is more of a code, one that exists between people fortunate enough to spend time in the fragile spaces that caves are. This secrecy spawns from an understanding that caves will, inevitably, be preserved longer the less

#SpinningOutBeautifulIntentionsOneNecklaceAtATime

inspired. between the pines

www.inspiredbetweenthepines.com

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is said about them, and the fewer people who enter. Even now, I am grappling with how much I can and can’t say.

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FTER FOUR DAYS WE made our way out of the cave—dirty and blinking into the canyon, which was painted by evening. We made camp on a sandy beach alongside the mighty river. We changed clothes and washed our faces, put warm layers on and convened in a circle, which is when the things unsaid flowed forth as if from a punctured balloon and the conversation turned almost immediately to the dangers of caving—for us and for the cave. To the if something had happened. To the potential

Ph

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sb

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damage we did, simply by being there; to the irony of mapping a place you don’t really want many people to see; to our inability to reconcile the impact with the desire to know a place, and the desire to protect it. Cave rescues are, generally speaking, rare. They are also uniquely challenging. Passages narrow and twist in corkscrews too tight for a gurney. There are drops—mandatory rappels and ascents—and it is dark. And if the cave floods, you need people who are comfortable and familiar scuba diving in caves (of which there are few), to travel to the cave, and then to you. And as if our presence, in and of itself, didn’t do some damage, a rescue most certainly would. If a rescue wasn’t successful, the body left behind would be a stranger in the cave—an outlier in the history collected there.

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SAT THAT NIGHT, on the shores of the mighty river, wondering why the things that surfaced, surfaced only then. Wondering about the things that never would. I was prepared to be vague in the way I chose to share my experience in the cave. But I wasn’t prepared for things we chose not to speak about while we were within the cave’s walls; that the necessity for secrecy around the details would breed a different kind of silence amongst us; that sometimes, you don’t talk about a place or a story or a belief so it can endure. I hadn’t anticipated the way words can act as headlamps, illuminating truths sometimes best left in the dark.

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BEHOLD

ONWARD AND UPWARD

FORTY DESERT TOWERS A Southwestern odyssey years in the making

By SZU-TING YI Photography by DAVE ANDERSON

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N 2010, A LOVE of climbing brought me to the spiral tip of the Ancient Art tower in the Colorado Plateau. The stretching redness beneath me was an open book, hinting stories, inviting investigation. The desert’s expansiveness and monotone reminded me of the Pacific Ocean, where my home country of Taiwan lies. The Pacific’s plain body of blue was never dull to me; it had always soothed my adolescent irritability. This broad body of red somehow had a similar calming effect. I was drawn to it.

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ONWARD AND UPWARD

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In the fall of 2015, I returned to the Plateau to climb forty of the desert towers—a challenge for my 40th anniversary on Earth. But, in truth, the trip was just an excuse to revisit a place I had fallen in love with.

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FEATS ONWARD OF STRENGTH AND UPWARD

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I came back to the Southwest a better climber. The crumbling volcanic outcroppings on desolate Shiprock, the smooth cracks and varnishes on Indian Creek, the mud hills and shark fins of the Fishers, the magnificent architecture of the Castle Valley, the animal and human forms of the Arches. One climb after another, I was frustrated by the desert’s labyrinthine terrain and oscillating weather, but the endless beauty and history of this so-called arid land was too delightful for me to stop.

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ONWARD AND UPWARD

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Twenty years ago I crossed the Pacific to pursue higher education in the United States. Outside of the safety of my academic studies was a foreign land I didn’t feel I belonged to. When I found climbing, I met and grew close to people who later became my partners and friends. From the ocean to the desert, from Taiwan to the United States, and forty towers later, I found common ground.

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TRAVEL

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PHOTO by William Bossen


Traveling Restless, Drinking Red Buried deep beneath Georgia’s earth, grapes ferment their way toward wine By JEN KINNEY Photography by CHRISTINE ARMBRUSTER

CHRISTINE STANDS, LOST IN thought, eating a clutch of grapes. When she’s exhausted all the dull little globes, she flicks the spine into the apple trees outside our guest house door. It hangs in the air like a fish skeleton, and lands out of view beneath the heavy boughs. The sun is setting, but our hosts are still working—Tamari, washing the dishes in a crouch in the

yard, her husband shucking dry corn into a metal bowl. Christine and I, frequent travel partners, are tired and full with the traditional Georgian dinner they’ve served us: soapy white cheese that squeaks in our teeth, salt-encrusted fish, a salad of cucumber and tomatoes too spicy for us to finish, a bowl of grapes for dessert. Now our host points to a tree hearty with tense green balls

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the size of eggs. He pinches off two and crushes them together against his chest until they burst their shells and give up two pale, green, thumb-sized brains. “America, America,” he says, and we eat the ripening walnuts. This young, they are not just rinsed with bitterness but bitter through and through. We have no wine to cleanse our mouths. I don’t know anything about wine. I hardly drink it. Especially not red wine—the tannins give me

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a headache. So I can’t say why Christine and I planned to photograph the winemaking process in the Republic of Georgia, other than that our trip to the country coincided with the harvest. We’d heard about Georgia’s famous culture of hospitality, the ritual toasting, the ancient process of fermenting wine in acorn-shaped urns called kvevri that are buried in the ground. Georgia boasts one of the oldest wine-making traditions in the world.

WINE WORDS Georgian wine comes from over 500 grape varieties, including rkatsiteli, or “red stem” grapes, which leave lingering notes of citrus, quince, and apple; mtsvane kakhuri, which offer fresh white peach, floral, citrus and tropical aromas; and chinuri, which may be the origin of the Georgian word “chinebuli” (“excellent,” “the best”) and have a tannic, muskier flavor, with hints of dried pears and apricots.

Grapes icon by Megan Day. Bee icon by Matt Brooks.

DISCOVER


But while our trip takes us from Tbilisi to Vardzia to Tusheti, while our hosts share fresh breads and bitter walnuts, while pomegranate trees sprout on the roadside and grape vines climb every wall and fence, the wine culture proves more elusive. On our mashrutka ride from the capital to Kakheti, a hilly, wine-making region, we pass flatbed trucks loaded with crates of grapes and roadside stands selling the candle-shaped Churchkhela candies made from grape juice and walnuts. But once in town, the vineyards vanish; the only shops selling wine seem hopelessly touristy. The winery we visit, which charges separate fees to see the vineyard, winery, and museum, is the same. Maybe we are just in no mood to be inquisitive. Christine and

I are both lost in our thoughts, worrying about romantic entanglements oceans away. By the end of our trip, whoever wakes first sneaks out to the balcony and holds her cell phone over the edge, straining to catch a glimmer of Wi-Fi from the guesthouse two doors away. We make a solemn tableau—she sitting on a low stool beneath our damp laundry on the line, I standing behind her, holding out our phones like magic mirrors. Who is fairest? Who is loved? Then, wandering the streets of Telavi at sunset, a woman gestures to us from the second-story balcony of a tilting, wedding-cake house. “Coffee?” she offers. We follow her up a dark, narrow staircase and onto a back veranda where a family of seven are sitting in the waning sun. They smile at us gently, like

SWEET DIGS The kvevris used for grape fermentation are typically made of clay, unique to each region, with most Georgian families hewing to the same patch of soil for generations. They are sometimes lined with beeswax, and coated with a lime-based mortar before burial.

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we are strays they have not yet decided to keep. A man walks to a blue vat in the corner, and lifts the lid. A heady smell of grapes escapes, frothy and hot. He stirs it with a long stick. “Christine!” He calls her over and gestures to the vat: “Wine.” By the time we reach Signagi, we know where to look. Sheets of laminated paper affixed to gates or taped on the inside of windows, ordinary houses announcing: wine sold here, red and white. Christine and I buy a bottle of red from the basement of a sweet old man who feeds us sticky figs and brags about his granddaughter, standing nearby with arms and legs both twisted, disinterested in us. We buy a second bottle from an old woman who pours tastes for us in her basement, gently splashing wine from a 3-liter plastic soda bottle into tiny crystal glasses, watching

turns out to be more vinegar than wine. The whites we try are more of a golden color reminiscent of beer, and tannic too; unlike in other wine-making processes, they’d been fermented with their stems and skins. On Signagi’s main street, wines glitter like jewels in their makeshift bottles — soda, water, even mustard. Christine and I take our deep red soda bottle wines to the roof of an abandoned school and drink them there, giddy, painting each other’s nails with a baby blue polish we bought down the road. We never find ourselves at another vineyard, never see the grapes being crushed underfoot or being poured into the kvevri and set in the ground. For a moment, on the roof of the school, I think we’ve escaped the melancholy that’s hovered around our trip. The next day we’ll make one more attempt

sourly as we try them. I’m no expert, but I’ll describe these wines as best I can: they are sweet and syrupy but also tannic as hell, and each one, from every house and roadside vendor, is completely different. The bottle of red I buy for my roommates

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to get a glimpse of the winemaking process and end up in an argument with two men who want to get us drunk and take us to a vineyard an hour away. But we don’t know that yet. Giggling and blowing on our nails, we drink all the wine we have.

SING IT TO ME Georgian oral and musical folklore is full of songs and stories dedicated to vines and wine. The winemaking tradition has influenced Georgian religious beliefs, as well: the Virgin Mary is often symbolized by a grape-bearing vine.

Grape Basket and vineyard icons by Juraj Sedlák

Sweet, and syrupy, and tannic as hell


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HOW TO: CHURCHKHELA Georgian winemaking is an ancient art—at 8,000 years old, it is possibly the oldest wine-making tradition in the world—though today it’s practiced with some modern twists. What’s never changed is use of the kvevri, a terracotta vessel shaped like an elongated acorn and buried up to its neck for fermentation and aging. Not only does the underground storage keep the wine at a near-stable temperature year-round, but the inverted conical shape of the kvevri also shapes the flavor. The seeds, skins, and stems of pressed grapes sink to the bottom, contributing nutrients and complex tastes, even to white wines, which in Georgia are also fermented with their skins, giving them a rich, amber color. Once the wines have fermented and been transitioned to another kvevri to stabilize, those grape residues can be used to distill a strong, clear liquor called chacha. Another byproduct of the winemaking process is Churchkhela, candle-shaped candies frequently sold roadside in Georgia and sometimes called “Georgian Snickers.” The taste is more akin to a nutty Twizzlers though: Churchkhela are strings of walnuts dipped in freshly pressed grape juice that’s been thickened with flour and allowed to dry in the sun.

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KVEVRI SPECIAL Georgia’s kvevri-making tradition has been accorded National Monument of Intangible Cultural Heritage status by UNESCO.

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FEAST YOUR EYES AND EARS Try a little this, try a little that.

DO NOT BECOME ALARMED Maile Meloy

Two families go on a cruise through Central America together—the perfect holiday vacation, until the children vanish during a trip to shore. In her devastatingly spare prose, Meloy captures the parents’ shattered illusions of safety and privilege alongside the missing children’s shifting self-perception, while weaving a breakneck plot you won’t be able to put down.

FLÂNEUSE

WOMEN WALK THE CITY IN PARIS, NEW YORK, TOKYO, VENICE, AND LONDON Lauren Elkin

In her memoir-meets-travelogue, Lauren Elkin upends our conception of the classic male flâneur, who strides down city streets with abandon (and without having to worry about street harassment, or staying out too late after dark). Recounting Elkin’s own urban experiences alongside those of such greats as Patti Smith, George Eliot, Martha Gellhorn, and more, Flâneuse peels back the complicated yet empowering experience of being a woman in a metropolis.

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ISADORA Amelia Gray Isadora Duncan is remembered today as the mother of modern dance, but when this novel opens in 1913, she is a mother in mourning, her two children recently drowned. Gray has the uncanny ability to make words spit and sing at the same time, and the power she brings to Duncan’s story captures the relentless spirit it took to revolutionize dance even as Europe descended into the dark days of World War I.

COLD PASTORAL Rebecca Dunham

“I can’t see the bugs; I don’t hear the birds,” writes Rebecca Dunham in this blistering, incandescent collection of poetry that explores man-made natural disasters, including the Deepwater Horizon oil spill and the Flint water crisis. Incorporating interviews, government documents, and other nonfiction sources, Dunham tackles the poetic tradition of the pastoral by reminding us in lyric form what humans have wrought upon the natural world.

TRY

READ

ALITE SEXY HOTNESS SLEEPING BAG This postmodern approach to outdoor slumber offers a plethora of zipper options, so you can wear it, walk in it, and sleep with up to two buds. Could be a bad idea, could be the best idea. You decide! $169

TOPO DESIGNS CAMERA STRAP

What could be more resilient than climbing rope? Designed to withstand every sight/site you need your camera to capture, take this strap for a whirl through the wildest conditions. $29

PETZL NOCTILIGHT HEADLAMP CASE

We wish we had thought of this. It transforms your headlamp into a lantern that can add a certain ineffable ambiance to your tent, RV, belt loops, wherever. $19.95

HYDRO FLASK WINE TUMBLER

For those occasions when you simply must bring a bottle of wine into the wild with you. We put ours to the test in Arizona; even after eight hours in a scorching-hot car, the rosé within was cold, sweet, and perfectly refreshing. A true miracle of science! For Sale Fall 2017


LISTEN

SHE EXPLORES Gale Straub From conservation of public lands and diversity in the outdoors, to embracing the weekend warrior lifestyle and adventuring with kids, the She Explores podcast captures the kaleidoscope of outdoor life, while always keeping women’s experiences front and center. Hosted and produced by wonder woman Gale Straub, and named by iTunes as one of the best new podcasts of 2016, this show is a must-listen for misadventurers.

HEROINE Majo Molfino Heroine bills itself as a podcast of “down-to-earth conversations

with women creative leaders and risk-takers—ordinary women who do extraordinary things because they embrace the unknown.” Sounds right up your alley, right? Each episode gives us insight into the sweat, blood, tears, and joy behind every one of these amazing women’s successes, and inspires us to keep on climbing.

BLACK GIRL IN OM Lauren Ash and Deun Ivory Black Girl in Om’s podcast is the latest addition to Lauren Ash’s online collective dedicated to wellness, self-care, and self-love for women of color. From interviews with yoga gurus and natural beauty experts to real talk about creative entrepreneurship, womanist theory, and living lives of intention, Black Girl in Om more than fulfills its

mission to create a community for women of color in the health and wellness space, from which they are too-often excluded, and makes for incredible and inspiring listening.

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher

Partners in podcast (and in life), Cam and Rhea host this weekly stand-up comedy show, which features guest visits from L.A.’s best and brightest comedians, often repping communities and viewpoints that don’t get the airtime they deserve. Hilarious, surprising, and slyly subversive, this one will keep you in stitches no matter where you do your podcasting: the trail, the bike lane, or the kitchen sink.

Love the Outdoors? Turn Your Passion Into Your Profession.

Learn more at:

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REVIEWS

NO MAN'S LAND You ain’t seen nothing yet. BY CHARLOTTE AUSTIN

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most stops on the festival’s tour include a night just for ladies. Regardless of gender, though, Weinhold encourages all audience members to de-mystify the concept of feminism. “We’re here to say that women are equal,” she says. “We’re holding space for conversations about what it means to be a woman in the outdoor industry today. And if we’re not showing little girls that they’re capable of shredding and changing the world, we’re doing them a disservice.” In upcoming months, the festival’s scope will expand to include panel conversations, hike-and-sketch workshops, and round-table conversations about environmental activism. Still, Weinhold has lofty goals: “In the future, I want there to be enough equality in the outdoor community that we don’t have to hold a women’s-specific film festival to get these stories told. I want to live in a world where this festival doesn’t need to exist.”

EDGES At 90 years old, Yvonne Marie Dowlen was still ice skating at least five days a week. This film tells the story of her rise to fame as an Ice Capades star in the 1940s—and the inspiring tale of how she never quite stopped. A celebration of longevity and resilience, this film is playful, unassuming, and guaranteed to make you want to strap on a pair of skates. Balcony Nine Media. Tickets icon by teleymon. Camera icon by Souvik Bhattacharjee.

“THE IDEA CAME TO me in college,” recalls Aisha Weinhold, the 25-year-old founder/ director of the No Man’s Land Film Festival. “We were sailing from California to Hawaii, a trip that kept us offshore for more than 40 days. I was on bow watch in the middle of the night, looking for the things that lurk in the middle of the ocean, and I thought: I want to start a women’s adventure film festival.” So she did. Now, several years later, the successful No Man’s Land film festival is touring the United States. In collaboration with organizations including Outdoor Women’s Alliance (OWA), Patagonia, Wylder Goods, and REI, Weinhold works to host events, spark conversation, and “connect like-minded individuals who are action-oriented, wish to support a shared vision of gender equality, […] and above all, love adventure.” Both men and women are welcome to participate, though

FILM FEST DETAILS Want to learn more? Check out nomanslandfilmfestival.org/full-tour for dates and locations, or follow the festival’s progress on Instagram at @nomanslandfilmfestival.


WATCH

ALMOST ABLAZE

THE GOOD FIGHT

GNARLY IN PINK

When 24-year-old pro skier Angel Collinson opens this film by dropping into a couloir outside of Juneau, Alaska, she isn’t just skiing some of the most aggressive terrain ever attempted by a woman—she’s also making ski history as the first woman to ever open a Teton Gravity Research (TGR) film. The segment also won Powder Award’s Best Female Performance, but even that didn’t go to Collinson’s head. As she says in the film: “All you can ever do is try your best. So I’m up here […] having a great time, and I’m just trying to ski as fast as I can.” Teton Gravity Research.

This film follows Ryhana Dawood, a certified blackbelt and the founder of MARTIAL SMARTS, a nonprofit organization that encourages confidence and empowerment for women through free self-defense workshops in Toronto, Canada. You’ll see badass women in hijabs, explore the overlap between Islamic beliefs and the principals of martial arts, and watch some righteous women who don’t pull punches. Chrisann Hessing.

This film follows the “Pink Helmet Posse,” three 6-year-old girls who share an unusual passion: skateboarding. In a skate park outside of San Diego, California, they strap on their tutus, paint their nails in sparkly colors, and shred. Kudos go to their parents for encouraging these tiny shredders, because it’s an unusual sight: of the estimated 12 million skateboarders in the United States, less than a quarter are female. This documentary is playful, eclectic, and guaranteed to make you want a skinned elbow of your own. The New York Times.

BEHIND THE SCENES Women made up just 26% of the filmmakers featured at major outdoor film festivals last year. The 2016 Banff Mountain Film Festival’s World Tour included just 8 films produced or directed by women, out of a total 30; and the Adventure Film Festival featured only 7 (one of which was also a Banff selection), out of 31. Even as the number of women appearing on-screen in outdoor media increases, it’s important to remember to support women’s voices and visions behind the camera, too!

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PHOTOS BY MIKAELA HAMILTON MODELS KRISTINA AMAYA AND ELISE SHELLENBERGER

HERE& THERE Summer threads, desert-tested THE SONORAN DESERT STRADDLES the line that divides the United States from Mexico. Famous for its

stately saguaros, magnificent sunsets, incredible biodiversity, and remarkable lushness (the Sonoran is the most verdant desert in the world, averaging 16 inches of rainfall a year), this prickly, beautiful place is now also known for the many thousands of migrants who lose their lives trying to cross it.

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At the epicenter of our national conversation about who gets to call the United States “home,” the desert is as harsh as it is alluring; temperatures in the summer frequently skyrocket past 115° Fahrenheit. Nestled in the center is the border city of Tucson, AZ: the only UNESCO City of Gastronomy in the United States (“the best 23 miles of Mexican food in the country!”) and a palimpsest of Southwestern heritage; the Tohono O’odham and their ancestors have lived in this desert for at least


SIGN in Tucson, AZ, at North Oracle Road

Woolrich Eco Rich Jacquard Jumpsuit in Cream Danner Mountain Light Cascade

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MUSIC, FASHIONBOOK, & FILM REVIEWS

4,000 years. Perhaps not the most obvious summer road trip destination... and yet what could be more quintessentially American than a city and a landscape that gave us the cowboy, the chimichanga, and the Mars Rover? For this summer shoot, we tried to stay true to the desert’s history of contradictory borders and boundaries: who’s to say where you wear this gear—on the trail, at a poolside party, while you take a stargazing stroll. The Sonoran Desert is also home to a number of observatories, and boasts some of the clearest skies for miles. In the dark, the horizon blurs, the mountains fade. You can’t see any of the features that separate the city from Saguaro National Park, or one nation from the next, only our shared ceiling: that boundless desert sky.

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LANDSCAPE Gates Pass, Tucson Mountain Park

Woolrich Outside Air Eco Rich Romper in Vintage Khaki Toad&Co Wayfarer SS in Pelican

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Toad&Co Sunkissed Maxi Dress in Indigo Vine Print in Barrio Presidio, Tucson

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LANDSCAPE La Milagrosa Canyon, Saguaro National Park

Oiselle Flyout Tank in Frost Toad&Co Sundowner Fleece Shirt in Honey Brown Brush Shirt in Barrio Presidio, Tucson

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Toad&Co Transita Dress in Black Chic Stripe in Barrio Presidio, Tucson

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l

THE

l

ACTIVIST'S l

FIELD GUIDE

l

Dystopian Species, & How to Resist Them

Field guides have long democratized learning.

In an age of misinformation and intimidation, knowing how to identify and distinguish species— especially sinister ones—can enable survival and engender adaptive, resilient behavior. Here we provide you with collected observations on a series of fearsome species, long-dormant, but with recently expanded range and numbers that threaten to render grave havoc upon our vital habitats and beloved places. We encourage the serious reader to note sightings, location, and behavior of new species in the margins of this guide. Learn to recognize, and to resist, the spread of these invasive species by following the simple tips and tricks outlined.

LEAD-BEAKED BOOBLEFOOT

SPOTTED GERRYMANDER

D E S C R I P T I O N The Lead-Beaked Booblefoot preys primarily upon public lands, feeding constantly in an unsuccessful attempt to sate its terrific appetite. Left to its own devices, packs of Booblefoots are quick-moving and methodical, expelling indigenous and local fauna and leaving irreversible damage to wetlands, grasslands, and waterways in their wake. 50% of all pollution in our land, air, and water is estimated to be the result of Booblefoot droppings and dealings.

D E S C R I P T I O N Roughly half of the Gerrymander population has a genetic mutation wherein the right wing is significantly larger than the left; the other half have developed the opposite condition. A subtly aggressive species, Gerrymanders are known to actively suppress the calls of other species, leading to environmental degradation and a lack of species diversity. Like all invasive species, the Gerrymander requires strict and constant oversight to keep in check.

H A B I T A T Recent expansion in North Dakota, Utah, and Wyoming signal changing migratory patterns.

H A B I T A T The Gerrymander’s ever-shifting territory has spread in recent decades from a few isolated outposts to what now encompasses nearly the entire country.

Their mating call is distinctive—a rapid and guttural “oyl-oyl-oyl.”

VOICE

SIGHT AND SHOUT

These species thrive when sightings are not reported and their release remains uncontested. Speak up and challenge their spread.

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IT’S A SIGN

Fearless, clever slogans and mantras, etched on poster board above the heads of large groups of people walking together, can work wonders.

V O I C E Screeches, drowning out all surrounding calls.

CONTACT OFFICIALS

While some states feature more responsive officials than others, do not be discouraged. Your voice can and must be heard. Call, fax, and write the people who have the responsibility to protect our environment.


Lead-Beaked Booblefoot Orange Puffed Pufferboat Sandy Wackadoo Yellow-Bellied Warbler Spotted Gerrymander

SANDY WACKADOO D E S C R I P T I O N Wackadoos are most often spotted with their heads buried in the soil of riverbanks and sand dunes. Though companionable creatures, the Wackadoo, sadly, has largely lost touch with their environs. A majority appear cognizant of their changing habitat, given rising sea levels and warmer temperatures, yet the Wackadoo persists in building its nests alongside ever-shifting sea shores and marshes. H A B I T A T They are also known to reside at the tops of trees, a fact that has long flummoxed naturalists, given their short-sightedness. V O I C E Repetitive and insistent. Do not attempt to imitate; Wackadoos are uninterested in call and response.

When you’ve got Wackadoos and Booblefoots running rampant, it’s time to encourage good folks on both sides of the aisle to run for office. Represent!

Like all invasive species, the creatures described in this guide demonstrate prodigious growth even in areas not considered their official habitat. While these are their zones of greatest prevalence, keep your eyes peeled for signs of their spread elsewhere.

YELLOW-BELLIED WARBLER

ORANGE PUFFED PUFFERBOAT

D E S C R I P T I O N These shifty characters can cover significant ground quite quickly but are excellent at covering their tracks. The Warbler can appear blue or red, depending on time of day, time of year, region, or mood, even changing colors mid-warble in self-defense. Little known fact: Warblers are technically invertebrates; their lack of spine allows for remarkable flexibility and can make them hard to pin down. Warblers often give cover to the actions of other, more nefarious creatures; they appear particularly enamored of recent sweeping orders to roll back environmental regulations.

D E S C R I P T I O N Jowly and lumbering, the Pufferboat is highly sensitive to any perceived slights on its beak size (which is small) and plumage. Generally solitary, its twittering can become noisier in the early morning when disturbed. Do not be lulled into a false sense of security by its oafish, bumbling nature; the Pufferboat has sought to eviscerate the Environmental Protection Agency and has given the LeadBellied Booblefoots access to expanded pristine and sensitive territories.

H A B I T A T Nesting in the ground, the Warbler tends to feed on low-hanging fruit. VOICE

FOSTER RESISTANT SPECIES

H A B ITAT N OT E S

Open to interpretation.

ORGANIZE

The best birdwatchers travel in packs. Bring your binoculars, and gather in groups of like-minded citizenry in order to apply this guide most effectively.

H A B I T A T Currently perched at the edge of 27 national monuments and marine preserves, now at risk for downsizing or elimination altogether. Be on your guard. V O I C E Puffing, wheezing, hissing, sniffing; largely incomprehensible

Rules Of

RESISTANCE 79


MAKE

A SOLAR ECLIPSE VIEWER

Total Eclipse of the Heart Warning: Never look directly at the sun during a partial eclipse without protective eyewear. For real, eclipses can damage your eyeballs. You can look online for stylish eclipse-viewing glasses. For those of us who insist on making our own devices in the name of science, we’ve provided instructions below on crafting a solar projector for safe eclipse viewing. ON AUGUST 21, 2017, we humans have the chance to view a solar eclipse for the first time in 26 years. The Moon shall swoop in between the Earth and the Sun, partially covering the Sun until it stretches into an incredible, fleeting, total eclipse. Only certain states are privy to this majestic glimpse of TOTALITY. We suggest planning out your eclipse viewing sitch. Those of us here at Misadventures HQ in Nashville, Tenn. will have approximately 1 minute and 54 seconds of total darkness at 1:27 pm. Check out the projected path of the eclipse on this handy map:

cut paper in half here

Solar Eclipse Viewer With the simple materials below, you can create your own solar projector to watch the progress of the eclipse without losing your eyesight forever. YOU WILL NEED

• This very paper, cut into two cards along the dotted lines • A thumbtack or something sharp

DIRECTIONS

1. Cut this piece of paper into two separate equalsized cards following the dotted lines. 2. Make a tiny hole in the middle of one card, where indicated. 3. As soon as the Moon starts sliding over to the Sun (partial eclipse time), turn your back to it. Don’t look at the Sun, ye mortal! 4. With your back to the sun, hold up the pinhole card above your shoulder. 5. Hold the other card out as a screen, and you will see an inverted image of the Sun on the projector card. 6. As soon as the Sun is totally covered, you can look! Savor the strangeness of the Earth draped in shadow during the day.

SALEM, OR 10:17AM PDT

CASPER, WY 11:42AM MDT

IDAHO FALLS, ID

11:33AM MDT

ST. LOUIS, MO 1:18PM CDT

LINCOLN, NE 1:02PM CDT

CHARLESTON, SC 2:46PM EDT

NASHVILLE, TN

make pinhole here

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1:27PM CDT


We’re here for you when it feels like nothing has changed in outdoor and adventure media. S U B S C R I B E A T M I S A DV E N T U R E S M A G . C O M / S H O P


Misadventures - Issue 3  

Summer 2017. The Endurance Issue.

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