Balancedliving Spring 2018

Spring 2018

BalancedLiving

Conquer Your Exercise Excuses pg. 5 Making Time for Yourself and Your Family pp. 6-7

...Also In this issue...

Making Housework Managable Easing the Teasing: How Parents Can Help MINES Eye: Eliminate Workplace Stress

BalancedLiving Spring 2018

MINES & Associates 10367 West Centennial Road Littleton, Colorado 80127 800.873.7138 www.MINESandAssociates.com

A word from your Employee Assistance Program...

Welcome to the Spring 2018 issue of BalancedLiving!

While Spring tends to signal the start of a new growing season, we at MINES know that work, life, and the quest for balance never really stops. So whether you’re starting something new or just continuing the marathon of life, we aim to support you every step of the way. We hope you find the articles in this edition of BalanedLiving helpful in finding that balance as well as time for all the things that are important in your life so that you never stop growing!

In this issue, get a leg up on the housework with managing tips on page 4. Quit kidding yourself about exercise on page 5 and then when you’re done with your workout you can learn how to balance time for yourself and family on page 6. Page 8 touches on the complex and all too familiar theme of bullying and how parents may be able to help. Then on pages 10 and 11 you’ll find helpful stress management tips and a yummy recipe to enjoy at the end of a long day.

Remember your Employee Assistance Program is available 24/7 at 1-800-873-7138 to help you with issues in your life that may be going on this fall or anytime of the year.

To your health!

– The MINES Team

. . . . . . . . Credits . . . . . . .

Life Advantages - Author Delvina Miremadi ©2018 Make House Work Manageable pg. 4 Making TIme for Yourself and Your Family pp. 6-7 The Staywell Company, LLC ©2018 Conquer Your Exercise Excuses pg. 5 ParentIQ ©2018 Easing the Teasing pp. 8-9 The MINES Team MINES Eye: Reducing Workplace Stress pg. 10 www.food.com Recipe: Tortellini Tomato and Spinach Soup pg. 11

Total

Wellbeing

2018

TotalWellbeing is your way to connect the dots between the 8 core dimensions of wellness: Physical, Occupational, Intellectual,

Environmental, Financial, Social, Spiritual, and Emotional Wellness. Understanding these dimensions is the first step toward a sense of complete wellbeing. In 2018 we take ideas around wellbeing and tie them into the bigger picture, your community, and the rest of the world. It is important to understand the influence that the world has on our wellbeing and the influence we may have on others. All year we will be looking at ways to strengthen your connection with your community by providing information, insight, and resources to help on a personal level along with ways to give back to the people around you so we can all thrive together!

Enhancing Awareness Inspire Wellbeing

The 8 dimensions of wellbeing don’t just apply to one person, they apply to everyone we know and everything we do.

Social influence is a huge factor that contributes to each of our levels of wellness, but it all starts with the individual. With this in mind, our challenge to you in 2018 is to see how you can apply wellness goals and concepts to the activities you do everyday. Any time you learn something new, teach someone else and help them use it to enhance their own life!

Total Wellbeing World View

In 2018 we aim to build on the concept of wellbeing awareness. We will be providing resources, stories, and tools to help you see the bigger wellness picture from your community to the rest of the world. Check out our articles in this magazine and head to minesandassociates.com/newsletters to check out our monthly newsletter with even more great wellness information.

Wellness Webinars

Support from the experts Join MINES for any of our free monthly webinars. 2018 will cover great new topics ranging from improving your credit, having a stress free summer, turning negatives to positives, and much more! Visit our website to learn more, or register for upcoming events at www.minesandassociates.com/webinar.

Is there a topic you’d like to see us explore? We’d love to hear from you.

Shoot us an e-mail at communications@minesandassociates.com and let us know what you’d like to see.

www.MINESandAssociates.com | 800.873.7138

Make Housework Manageable You can’t make housework disappear, but you can make it more manageable. Here are some tips to help you simplify your home life:

Write Down Schedules and Priorities

Make daily and weekly schedules and to-do lists. It’ll help you prioritize tasks and organize assigned chores. Using these lists and schedules, see how much time you spend on various household tasks. Are you spending too much time in one area? If needed, readjust the time you spend on tasks so you can have more time for the most important things, like quality time with your children and partner.

Shop Efficiently

Shop for groceries once a week and buy nonperishable items in large quantities. Stock up on family favorites and meals that can be made quickly in case you are running late for dinner.

Use a Grocery List

Using a grocery list can come in handy, especially when you’re at the supermarket and can’t remember that one really important item you needed to pick up. Make a list each week of all the ingredients you will need for each meal and post it on the refrigerator, leaving space for write-in requests from your spouse and kids.

De-Clutter

Use a “clutter basket” at the foot of the stairs or in each room. Make it a family rule to stash away all clutter in the basket before leaving the room.

Minimize Cooking Time

When cooking, stick to simple and nutritious meals. If making a main dish or a family favorite, try to make an extra portion to freeze and reheat at a later date. Think about using leftovers in family lunches: Soups, pastas, and other meals can be carried to work or school in an airtight container. You can also make and freeze a week’s worth of sandwiches or cut up and bag a week’s worth of veggies to place in lunches throughout the week.

Make Laundry a Family Affair

Younger children can help sort out and fold laundry, and older children can have laundry duty once a week. This can teach children responsibility and show them that they are important members of the family team. In order to avoid mismatched socks or looking all over for the other sock in the pair, buy children’s socks in one style and color.

Eat Out or Take-Out

Make it “family night out” once a week at your favorite restaurant. Consider take-out or having dinner delivered if you find yourself running low on time.

Minimize Cleaning Time

Organize cleaning supplies in one place, and avoid cleaning something unless it really needs it. If it’s affordable, think about hiring a cleaning service. M

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Conquer Your Exercise Excuses You’re too busy. It’s raining. You need to make dinner. You need to help your children with their homework. You just don’t feel like it. “Our research shows that people who exercise somewhat regularly have more excuses for not doing so than those who don’t exercise at all,” says Bonnie Berger, Ph.D., professor and director of the School of Human Movement, Sport and Leisure Studies at Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio. “It’s those who exercise every now and then, those who feel like they really need to be doing it more, who are the excuse makers.”

To help yourself get moving, address that inner voice that lets you off the exercise hook. Here, we discredit three of the common reasons you may tell yourself you can’t fit in exercise as often as you’d like, and what you can do to take a step in the right direction.

“I don’t have time”

By far, one of the most common excuses for not exercising is “I’m too busy.” To that, you should ask yourself: Do I not have time to exercise, or am I simply not making time?

Consider: Americans, on average, watch three or four hours of television a day. “Surely we can find a half-hour among those three or four hours to exercise,” Dr. Berger says. Also, if you stay physically fit, no matter how hectic your schedule, you can feel like you have more time.

“You have more energy and your thoughts tend to be clearer because you’ve taken a mental break,” says Dr. Berger, both of which can make you more productive and efficient at work and at home.

To parents who say they can’t exercise because they have young children to attend to, she suggests squeezing in exercise time at the end of the day between work and home.

“The health benefits of exercising increase if you exercise for more than 30 minutes a day,” says Dr. Berger. “Three 10-minute walks throughout the day go a long way toward keeping your heart healthy, reducing your blood pressure, and improving your cholesterol levels. Everybody has time for that.”

“I’m just too tired”

After a long day, it’s tough to argue with the fact you may be too tired to feel like exercising. But if you work out anyway, or even just go for a walk, you’re likely to experience a noticeable energy boost because exercise sends blood sugar to muscles.

The same holds true if you tend to be a before-work exerciser. Once you get moving, you feel more alert and energetic, which can carry on throughout your day.

“The weather is bad”

If you like to exercise outdoors, you can always blame the weather for not being able to work out. Unless it’s a perfect day, there’s bound to be some condition, wind, rain, cold, heat, humidity, that throws a wrench in your plan.

The answer is to have a backup plan for a stormy day, such as a workout video or a gym membership.

Overall, Dr. Berger suggests focusing on finding a fitness routine that works for you, whether it be working out with an exercise buddy or by yourself, in the morning or after work. “Try to establish habits that feel good and fit into your life,” she says. “If you do that, after a while exercise becomes more of a want rather than a should, which is the most powerful excusebuster of all.” M Spring 2018 Balanced Living 5

Making Time for Yourself and Your Family Because of the stress of a typical work week, finding time for some fun and relaxation is usually difficult. Furthermore, it may seem like making time to enjoy your life takes a lot of effort. However, finding time for yourself and your family is well worth it: The hobbies and activities we take part in together or alone often bring us great happiness and help to enrich our lives.

Why Leisure Is Important

• Physical fun, like taking an aerobics class or going on a walk with a friend, helps soothe tension and clear the mind.

• Even an hour of leisure time a day is great for the body, mind, and spirit. It helps release stress and leads to a more balanced life.

• By taking time to do things that you like to do, you are better able to have healthier and more positive relationships with those around you.

How to Have Fun

If you’ve filled your life with so much work that you’ve forgotten how to play, take some cues from kids. They easily go from one fun activity to the next, typically with smiles and laughter. Watch your child at the playground and see how he or she becomes immersed in the present activity, whether it’s playing in the sandbox, scaling a climbing wall, or going down a slide. Try to have a similar state of immersion and happiness when you get to take time for you. Here are some tips to make the most of your fun times: • Choose activities that are just for you; choose others that involve the family.

• Schedule a time for leisure into your daily calendar.

• When having family time, pick sports, hobbies, or locations that everyone enjoys.

• Take time for unexpected pleasures. Occasionally, don’t schedule in an activity for your leisure time during the day. When leisure time comes, do what you feel.

• Quiet times during the morning can help you get ready for the day, and quiet times at night can help you unwind. Choose meditation or other relaxing, quiet activities to de-stress.

• Try to be fully present when you’re having fun. Let go of cares, worries, and stress during fun activities; know that you can address what you need to after you’re done with your fun time.

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Having Fun Solo and with Your Family Taking time for yourself and your family does not necessarily mean that they have to occur at the same time. In fact, it is important to find time that you can focus entirely on what you want to do. You may enjoy activities that others in your family do not, and that is entirely okay. It is also okay if your family members enjoy things that you don’t. Time spent focusing on yourself can help you retain a sense of individuality and help recharge your batteries so that when it comes time to spend time with family, friends, or coworkers you feel refreshed and not trapped in a social cycle that keeps you from enjoying the things important to you.

Here are some ideas for activities to do on your own: • Try a new hobby or revive a former one.

• Join a gym or start going to fitness classes.

• Play a new sport.

• Join a book group or enroll in a class.

• Seek an artistic outlet; go to a museum and sketch or take pictures in a park.

• Call an old friend.

• Take a walk in the neighborhood or watch the sunset.

“Taking time for yourself and your family does not necessarily mean that they have to occur at the same time. In fact, it is important to find time that you can focus entirely on what you want to do.”

Some activities to do as a family can include: • Go to a sports game.

• Go see a movie or go to an amusement center.

• Take a day trip to a special spot.

• Take family walks together.

• Have a game night.

• Visit the museum.

• Participate in fund-raisers together or volunteer together.

• Take dance, tennis, or other lessons together.

• Plan a family vacation and get the whole family involved in the planning process.

M

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Easing the Teasing Most young children become upset if they are called a name or ridiculed in any way. Parents cannot always protect children from these hurtful situations, but they can teach their children useful strategies to help them deal with teasing. Young children who learn these coping skills at an early age may be better prepared for more significant social challenges and conflicts in their lives later on.

Children tease for a number of different reasons:

• Attention. Teasing is a good way of receiving negative attention, and, unfortunately, for many children, negative attention is better than no attention.

• Imitation. Some children model or mimic what is happening to them at home by acting the same way to others at school or in the neighborhood. These teasers are children who may be teased by siblings or who experience aggressive or harsh parenting at home.

• Feelings of superiority or power. Many teasers feel superior when they put others down, or they may feel powerful when teasing upsets others (Olweus, 1993).

• Peer acceptance. It is not uncommon to see children engage in teasing behavior because they may perceive it as being the “cool” thing to do. It may help them feel part of a group. The need to belong may be so strong that a child may tease others to be accepted by the “popular” children.

• Misunderstanding differences. A lack of understanding of “differences” may be the underlying factor in some teasing.

Many children are not familiar with or do not understand cultural or ethnic differences. In some instances, a child with a physical or a learning disability may be the target of teasing because she is different. Some children criticize anyone who is different instead of trying to learn or understand what makes others special.

• Media influence. One cannot discuss the reasons children tease without acknowledging the powerful influence of the media. Our children are frequently exposed to teasing, put-downs, sarcasm, and a lack of respect in many of the television programs geared toward children.

How Parents Can Help Strategies for Parents

When your child experiences teasing, it is important to see the problem from the child’s point of view. Sit down and listen attentively to your child in a nonjudgmental way. Ask your child to describe the teasing. Where is it happening? Who is the teaser? Understand and validate your child’s feelings. It might be helpful to relate your experience of teasing as a child. The following strategies may also help: • Do not overreact. A parent’s overreaction can result in a child overreacting.

• Convey the message, “You can handle it.”

• Encourage children to be with children who make them feel good, not bad.

• Review your own behavior. Do you model the behavior of a “victim,” or do you tease your children inappropriately?

• Teach or review and practice the strategies discussed below.

Strategies Parents Can Teach Children

• Self-talk. Encourage children to think about what they can say to themselves when they are in a teasing situation (Bloch, 1993). A child could say to himself, “Even though I don’t like this teasing, I can handle it.” A child should ask themself, “Is the tease true?” Often it is not. Another important question is, “Whose opinion is more important . . . the teaser’s or mine?” It is also helpful for the teased child to think about their positive qualities to counteract the negative remarks.

• Ignore. Displays of anger or tears often invite more teasing; therefore, it is often effective for children to ignore the teaser.

The child who is being teased should not look at or respond to the teaser. Children should try to pretend that the teaser is invisible and act as if nothing has happened. If possible, walking away from the teaser is encouraged. Parents can role play “ignoring” with their children and praise children for their excellent “acting.” It should be noted that ignoring may not be effective in prolonged teasing situations.

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Spring 2018 Balanced Living

• The I message. The “I message” is an assertive way for children to effectively express their feelings. The child expresses how they feels, what has caused them to feel that way, and what they would like others to do differently. For example, a child could say, “I feel upset when you make fun of my glasses. I would like you to stop.” This strategy generally works better when expressed in a more structured or supervised situation, such as a classroom. When used in other situations, such as recess or on the school bus, it may lead to more teasing when the teaser perceives the child being teased is upset.

Nevertheless, it is an easy skill to teach children to help them deal with many situations. The child should learn to make eye contact, speak clearly, and use a polite tone of voice.

• Visualization. Many young children respond well to visualizing words “bouncing off” of them. It provides them with the image of not having to accept or believe what is said. This image can be created by showing how Nerf balls bounce off a person. Another effective visualization is for a child to pretend he has a shield that helps the teases and bad words bounce off. Again, this technique gives children the message that they can refuse these put-downs.

• Reframing. Reframing is changing one’s perception about the negative comment; it is turning the teasing into a compliment.

For example, a child teases another about her glasses, “Four eyes, four eyes, you have four eyes.” The child being teased could politely respond, “Thanks for noticing my glasses!” The teaser is usually confused, especially when there is not a reaction of anger or frustration. Another child might respond to a tease by saying, “That is a great put-down.”

• Agree with the facts. Agreeing with the facts can be one of the easiest ways to handle an insult or tease (Cohen- Posey, 1995). The teaser says, “You have so many freckles.” The teased child responds, “Yes, I have a lot of freckles.” Agreeing with facts usually eliminates the feeling of wanting to hide the freckles or the tears.

• “So?” The response of “so?” to the teaser conveys an indifference that the tease doesn’t matter. Children find this response simple yet quite effective. This strategy is humorously addressed in Bill Cosby’s book The Meanest Thing to Say.

• Use Humor. Humor shows that little importance is placed on the put-downs or mean remarks. Laughing can often turn a hurtful situation into a funny one.

• Ask for help. At times, it is necessary for a child to seek adult assistance or intervention if the teaser is persistent.

When Teasing Becomes Harassment

Teasing becomes harassment if it is repeated or prolonged, threatens or results in violence, or involves inappropriate touching or physical contact. Adults should be alert and intervene as needed if harassment is suspected or anticipated. It may be necessary to involve administrators/parents in determining the appropriate course of action.

Conclusion

You can help your children understand that teasing cannot be prevented, and they cannot control what others say. However, they can learn to control their own responses and reactions, which will “ease the tease.” M

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MINESEye

The importance of staying mindful.

With MINES Eye we will focus on meditation techniques, basic yoga poses, and mindfulness practices to help you stay in control of your thoughts and expand the capabilities of your mind as well as body.

Reducing Workplace Stress

Relaxing at work may sound like an oxymoron, but research shows you’ll be healthier in the long run if you avoid letting your job stress you out. Moreover, “practicing relaxation techniques can improve your ability to think clearly,” says Warren L. Huberman, Ph.D., a New York psychologist. “When you’re relaxed, the quality of your work will improve.” You can use the following techniques throughout your workday to manage your stress, feel better and get more done.

Take time to reflect Besides these short-term stress-reducing techniques, investigating the causes of your stress also can help. “It’s vital to explore your life and the sources of your stress,” says Dr. Edelberg.

Ask yourself: Am I doing with my life what I like? Are the decisions I’ve made in my life genuine, or am I living somebody else’s expectations? What steps could I take to improve my life? “You can be having the time of your life in a stressful job if it’s genuinely what you want to do,” says Dr. Edelberg.

Take a vacation day You don’t function well at work when you’re overly stressed, so take a day off to have some fun. This will recharge your batteries and keep things in perspective.

Listen Sometimes people are so anxious to tell their side of a problem that they forget to listen. Ask your co-workers their perspective of the situation, then listen.

Breathe Deeply Taking a few deep breaths is one of the most powerful techniques you can use to quickly lower your blood pressure and slow your pulse. “Pick a number, say 25, and count backward on each breath until you get to one,” suggests Dr. Huberman. Or teach yourself to relax on cue by picking a word such as “calm.” Slow your breathing slightly while repeating the word.

“If you practice relaxation while repeating a word such as ‘calm,’ the word itself eventually becomes a cue to relax,” says Dr. Huberman.

Keep a stress journal Write in your journal for two weeks. Include what is causing your stress, the day of the week and time of the day it occurred and how you handled it. At the end of the two weeks, read your journal to determine if there’s a pattern. Is your stress related to the type of work you’re doing? Is the job too complicated? Do you need more training? Is your workload too much? Is the work boring with not enough challenge? Or does your stress come from people: managers, co-workers or complaining customers?

Personalize your workspace Posting photos of loved ones, relaxing places, a vacation you’ve been on or destinations you want to go to also can provide a much-needed respite from stressful situations. “It’s easy to get lost in whatever is going on when you’re at your desk. Looking at a pleasant picture temporarily takes you someplace else,” says Dr. Huberman. Fragrant fresh-cut flowers also can help you reduce stress, as can a memento from your childhood.

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Go for a walk To physically break the stress cycle, “walk around the block or to a different part of the building,” says Dr. Huberman. “People often make jokes about feeling like they’re chained to their desks -- but very often, they’re not.” If you can’t leave your desk for long, you can at least visit the bathroom. “The bathroom is one of the few places where nobody will follow you, where you can actually get a few minutes to yourself,” says Dr. Huberman. M

SEASONAL RECIPE

Tortellini, Tomato & Spinach Soup

Ingredients: • • • • • •

1 tablespoon olive oil 1/2 cup minced onion 1 garlic clove, minced 4 -6 cups chicken broth or 4 -6 cups vegetable broth 1 (14 ounce) can whole tomatoes, coarsely chopped 1 (9 ounce) packaged or fresh tortellini

• • •

•

Kosher salt to taste Cracked black pepper 10 ounces fresh spinach or 10 ounces frozen spinach, defrosted and chopped 1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese (optional)

Directions: 1. In a soup pot, heat olive oil over medium high heat.

2. Saute the onion and garlic, stirring often until onions are translucent, about 5 to 7 minutes.

3. Add broth and tomatoes, turn heat up to high, and bring to a boil.

4. Add the tortellini and cook according to package instructions.

5. When tortellini is almost done, add spinach and taste, adjusting seasonings with salt and pepper.

6. Serve immediately.

7. Garnish each serving with a sprinkling of Parmesan.

All done, enjoy!

Makes approximately 4-5 servings Nutritional analysis (per serving): 312.6 calories; 10 g fat (3.3 g sat); 27 mg cholesterol; 40.3 g carbohydrates; 5.3 g from sugars; 17.1 g protein; 4.6 g fiber; 1210.7 mg sodium. M

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Helping you keep

your balance

Your Employee Assistance Program is here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week It’s confidential, FREE, and available to you and your family.

For information or confidential assistance call 1-800-873-7138