Beginning Workbook for Developmental Trauma and CPTSD

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Beginning Workbook for Developmental Trauma and Complex PTSD

By Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Hello!

First, please note this is only a workbook to begin understanding the messages you internalized growing up in a dysfunctional system. Developmental trauma and complex PTSD experiences can be difficult to name because often the abuse or harm was very subtle and underneath the surface. Many people who have experienced this feel things very intensely in their bodies but are unsure why. Please use this workbook carefully and with a therapist. You may find yourself activated easily. If this happens, PLEASE STOP. You do not need to push yourself into retraumatizing yourself. While working through this, go slowly. Check in with your body and make sure you’re breathing. Unraveling and integrating developmental trauma can take a long time. Be patient with yourself. You may have experienced harm for years. It can take years to integrate it.

I have spent my entire career working with people who experienced developmental and complex trauma. It is a very layered and complicated experience and at times many people can feel misunderstood. This workbook is designed to help you understand you so that you may better communicate what you need and want from people.

This workbook only scratches the surface. It is not designed to alleviate the deep pain associated with this type of trauma. It is merely to help you gain awareness surrounding what you may need help naming.

And THANK YOU for downloading.

With love and humanity, Kristin Shanahan M.A., LPC-S, CGP

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Types of Developmental Trauma: Divorce Growing up with a mentally unstable/ill parent Addiction Emotional, physical or sexual abuse Neglect Poverty Absentee parents A sibling with mental health issues War Religious trauma Estrangement from family members Bullying Adoption Foster care Keep in mind these only name a few. I don’t think it’s important that you must have experienced these specific things as a child. Only that whatever resonates with you is what is important. You do not need to be externally validated for your experience to work through this journal. This is just for you to gain clarity about your experience so you can begin to process and work through it.

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Feelings Wheel People who experienced developmental trauma can oftentimes struggle with naming what they feel. I’ve included the feelings wheel as a way to help you name your feelings. Use it as often as necessary. When you use it, also note the sensations you feel in your body. The next page is the Map of Emotions that can help you name what you feel as well.

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Map of Emotions Below is a picture of where we feel feelings in our bodies. Take a moment to see if you can identify with any of these. While you work through the workbook, use this picture as often as needed.

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 1 What happened to me?

Keeping the list of traumas from the first page in mind, please begin to think about what resonates with you and your experience.

Take 5-10 minutes, close your eyes and begin to tune into your body.

What are you feeling and where? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ You can also draw it here:

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 2 What happened to me?

Write down the memories that came up from Day 1. If you start getting activated, slow down, tune into your body and write down what is happening to you.

____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Stop for the day. Check in with your body.

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 3 People who experienced developmental trauma often have a tremendous amount of internalized shame. As you went through Journals 1 & 2, did you notice any critical thoughts about yourself? What negative beliefs do you have about yourself? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 4 From the previous journal, who do you associate with these beliefs about yourself? Whose voice do you hear or face do you see when you think about the negative beliefs you have about yourself?

______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Stop for the day. Check in with your body. Notice sensations, feelings, memories.

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 5 What do you feel towards the people/person from the previous journal entry? Feel free to use the feelings wheel. How hard is it to access feelings towards this person/people?

______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 6 Imagine yourself as a caring adult listening to a child telling the stories and feelings regarding the last 5 journal entries. What would you say to this child? How would you comfort him/her?

How hard is it to imagine caring for this child? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 7 Reflect on ways you survived during this period of your life. List your strengths. Then, write how you feel towards yourself as you list your strengths. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 8 Make a list of things you want for yourself today. This can be from relationships to material things. Don’t hold back. Nothing is off limits. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 9 List people that you feel care about you. What about them makes you feel cared for? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 10 Using the feelings wheel, name feelings you have difficulty feeling. What are your beliefs about these feelings? What would happen to you if you allowed yourself to feel them? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 11 Many people with developmental trauma and complex PTSD struggle with intimate relationships because they feel responsible for other people’s feelings and experiences. Who in your life do you feel responsible for? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 12 Imagine not taking responsibility for their experience. What do you feel? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 13 Imagine someone being there for you without you having to caretake. What would they do? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 14 Now imagine caring for yourself. What ways have you comforted yourself in the past and what things would you like to try to care for yourself? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

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Exercise 15 Write a letter to yourself about how you feel about yourself for completing these exercises. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

21 I wrote this workbook for the many people who struggle to find words to their experience like I did. Without my therapist, group leaders and group members, my experience would still be trapped in me without words but with tremendous pain. My hope is you’ve begun to find words to things that are so hard to define. I’d encourage you to go through this workbook as often as you need. Perhaps for more than one experience. Your story deserves air to breathe and your body deserves rest from what you endured. Being able to access yourself and connect to your story does wonders for your nervous system. Please know that as you work through this, I’m with you, too. As well as all others for the experiences they endured for which there are no words.

With honor, humility & humanity, Kristin

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com

22 References: Feelings Wheel - Created by Geoffrey Roberts Map of Emotions - Created by Paul Ekman

Kristin Shanahan, M.A., LPC-S, CGP www.mindfultpathaustin.com