Sprinklers Now Triggered With Fire Alarms: Expect Showers
Read into the experiences of soggy students.
News on pages 2-3
Sharon Zhag Awarded FRC Dea’s List Finalist
Sharon Zhang is the frst Mills student and member of the Boba Bots 253 to win the FIRST Robotics Dean’s List Finalist award.
Features on pages 4-5
Ask the Editor
Can’t stop playing Block Blast? Have a crush on the Viking?! There’s no need to fear, our editors are here! Tune into their expert advice on how to handle life’s toughest struggles.
Center-spread on pages 6-7
Student Opinion on Admin’s Removal of All Reflective Surfaces
Hear student thoughts on admin’s ban of all refective surfaces ranging from mirrors to glasses.
Opinions on pages 8-9
Lady Vikings
Win CCS D3 Championships
Read into how Girl’s Basketball took home the CCS title and the moments leading up to the victory.
Sports on pages 10-11
Leadership Hosts “Squid Games” at Mills
Read into leadership’s unique rally theme.
Entertainment on page 12
Proudly Serving
Create. Narrate. Resonate.
the look... PROM LIFE VESTS
Kalyssa Chu Staff Writer
ready to suit up—the Mills Prom Committee has announced that all prom attendees will be required to wear life jackets while aboard the venue.
This year’s “City Nights on the Bay” prom takes place on the California Hornblower boat, which will cruise the night along the San Francisco Bay. “Mills has hosted prom on a boat plenty of times before,” Dean of Students and Prom Committee member Tim Christian stated, “It’s fun, but there have been some close calls…especially with students almost going overboard when taking pictures on the deck.”
He continued, “Student safety is always our top priority, and it was at the forefront of [the Prom Committee’s] mind since the beginning of our planning process…it was crucial that we addressed the concern of, well, the water.”
The Prom Committee voted to implement the life jacket safety precaution last month, choosing it over the alternate option of a mandatory swim test for prospective passengers. “We all agreed that life jackets are less of a hassle than a
test,” Dean Christian said, “Plus, it’s more accessible…not everyone can swim, but, with a proper life jacket, everyone can foat!”
While the Prom Committee claims to have made the decision in students’ best interests, most have expressed frustration over this rule. “It’s absolutely absurd,” Matthew Situ (12) said, “Prom is an important night…how am I supposed to be okay with spending it in some old, clunky vest?”
While Mills will provide students with life jackets prior to boarding, attendees are also permitted to bring their own fotation devices—as long as they meet general safety requirements. “I feel like the life vest will be super unfattering over my dress,” Morgan Chu (12) stated, “I want to buy my own just to make sure it fts right…maybe I can get one to match with my date.”
Still, Situ said he is not satisfed: “My friends and I are thinking of organizing a boycott of some sort.” He then exclaimed, “Unrest or no vests!”
Rachel Chen (12), however, has a more positive outlook. “I understand where the rule is coming from. I think we just have to make the most of it,” Chen said, “In fact, I’m kind of excited about it…my friends and I want to decorate our jackets to accessorize our outfts.” Chen added, “To be honest, the vests are kind of camp.”*
Dean Christian pops off with his custom Mills life vest.
Happy April Fools! Enjoy our annual joke issue, packed full of satirical stories and an Advice Column, where we answer our Vikings’ burning questions (located on pages 6 and 7). We hope everyone has a restful spring break; for the seniors waiting on college decisions, we wish you the best of luck and know it’ll all work out.
In light of real news, a member from our Boba Bots team has been awarded as a Dean’s List finalist, being the very first in Mills history! Congratulations to Sharon Zhang. More victory in the Sports section, with the Girls Basketball D3 CCS win, let’s go Lady Vikings! And of course, April Fools isn’t April Fools without a few (many) jokes ;) For our beautiful city night on the Bay, we hope your dress goes with orange-because you’re required to wear life vests at Prom. You can also get a sneak peek at what our luxurious boat will look like on page 5 Eugh! What’s that smell? Looks like it’s coming from the math hall… hard-hitting reporting on this incident can be found in the News section. And suddenly the student parking lot is…full? Seniors are now required to take seven periods, starting in the fall 2025. Have you played these games before? Leadership is hosting our very own Squid Games: Vikings Edition!
All the best in reporting REAL and trustworthy news, Elaine Chan & Phoebe Piserchio Editors-in-Chief
Rats and Termites?!
Julia Xia Reigen Artaka Enthusiast
It’s unclear when it began, but for weeks now, accidents around Mills have occurred that all point to the same culprit.
The frst sign was on a seemingly normal school day. Dutifulling reading The Crucible in her AP Lang class, sensitive junior, Kayli Tsang, was taken aback when she noticed something falling onto her book; noting that it resembled the classroom’s ceiling. Instinctively, she looked up only to be frozen in shock when her eyes locked on to the ceiling. Right above her head was a hole, and inside she could see a small shape shifting around. Being the good student she was, Kayli dismissed this in favor of fnishing up her book. Not even a second later, she heard a loud squeak and when she looked back up, a rat landed on her face. The class quickly descended into chaos, Kayli screamed so loudly students in the math hall would later question their friends if they had also heard a noise, the other juniors around her leaped
out of their desks in fear, and Mr. Pretto, the brave man he is, scrambled to run out of the classroom.
The second sign was only two days later. When a student walked into Mr. Lira’s classroom early in the morning, they found half of the student desks missing parts of the wooden top. “It was nothing I had ever seen before,” the student commented, still shaken up. There was wood dust on the foors and the desks had little bite marks in the shape of John Williams’ face. The student commented, “I guess Mr. Lira’s played so much John Williams that even the termites have been converted to diehard fans, totally mortifed.” Unable to get replacement desks, the unsettled class had to move to the library.
By the second sign, it seemed clear was the issue was…. Termites‼
These little wood munchers munch on wood and Other StufTM, and it seems the Mills High School ceiling and desks are their preferred wood and Other StufTM of choice.*
Lunch Table Reservations Now Required
Isaelle Yag Sports Editor
Whenstudents return to campus after spring break, the dynamics of center court during lunch time will change drastically. On April 7, a new policy constructed by Dean Christian will be enforced, stating that all students must book a reservation for their lunch tables through a Google Form. The QR code can be found on Instagram or through email.
The Viking Sitting Policy works on a frst-come frst-serve basis. Therefore, the policy will allow upperclassmen to have priority when reserving tables. As there are not enough tables available in center court for the entire student population, Dean Christian will provide seating for the underclassmen outside in the front of the school.
The policy has been created
due to various fghts over limited table space. Administration has noted a dramatic increase in fghts as the year goes on, prompting them to fnd a solution quickly before it takes a toll on students’ mental health and further contradicts Mills’ core values. “As a school, we noticed that disputes over lunch tables create tension and disrupt our accepting and safe community that we have been working hard for decades to preserve,” counselor Jonathan Fong states.
To ensure that this policy is followed by the entire student body, administration is in the process of hiring Campus Safety Specialists. Their job will be to focus on the seating arrangements and check reservations. To fnd out more about the Viking Sitting Policy, check out the Mills Thunderbolt website and Instagram.
Although upperclassmen seem to appreciate this policy,
some underclassmen view it as unfair. As they conclude their frst year in high school, the lower grades argue that lunch plays a key role in fostering new friendships and meeting peers from other grades.
Brian Li (10), who is incredibly outgoing and loves talking to new people, thinks this policy is isolating. “Being possibly banished from center court will prevent us from making new friends,” says Li.
Fong also highlights that new spots to enjoy lunch can be discovered. “Students might venture into our newly renovated space in front of Mills or even in the hallway in front of their class right before lunch ends so they won’t be tardy. Wouldn’t that be a blessing in disguise?” remarks Fong.
In addition to preventing more confict and providing structure to lunch breaks, this strict policy will ensure students
develop emotional strength. “The policy is a bit rough but this is a way to toughen up the student body and get them ready for the real world of hanging out,” Dean Christian explains.*
Kendrick Lamar to Perform at Mills Grad.
After careful consideration, record label Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE) has changed the San Francisco venue for Kendrick Lamar and SZA’s Grand National Tour. Instead of Oracle Park, the concert will be held at the Jim Cox feld right here at Mills during Graduation Day. Reportedly, Kendrick himself was undercover here at Mills to listen to the student’s opinion on the date of the concert, and whether or not he should change it to keep his fans happy. Ultimately, he decided on changing the venue.
Along with the venue change, TDE reportedly posted
Andes Luis Makila Staff Writer and quickly deleted the featured artists who would be appearing alongside Lamar and SZA. Featured artists in the deleted post include Kendrick’s cousin Baby Keem, Atlanta rapper Playboi Carti (who fnally dropped his album after 4 long years), local LA rappers Dody6 and Lefty Gunplay, Jojo Siwa, and many more. Unexpectedly, Carti also posted and quickly deleted an X post related to the Mills concert: “love all my mills supporters it’s time” As of now, Mills students are feeling conficted about the venue change and all the
oddities surrounding it, as while they are happy Kendrick and Co. will be performing during graduation, they do not know if it will actually happen. TDE is completely scrubbing their socials of anything related to the concert, which has made students skeptical. “If they’re gonna do it, then why go through all this trouble to delete anything about it?” an unnamed Mills student states. He continues, saying that “I’d rather for them to be more transparent about the situation, as this means a lot for us.”
But not everyone is as
skeptical as him; most students are just generally excited about Kendrick Lamar being in close proximity to them for what could be the frst and only time for a lot of students, as not everyone can aford tickets to the rest of his shows, which are going for about $450+ as of me writing this article. Another Mills student expressed his excitement in a unique way, by reportedly pulling the rope on biology and AP Environmental Science teacher Mike DeBois’ shower inside his classroom and repeatedly chanting Kendrick Lamar’s name louder and louder as time passed. The student remains at large. Come see Lamar on May 29th, right here in Mills. Standard ticket rates apply EXCEPT if you are a graduating senior.*
Sprinklers Rain Down With Fire Alarms
Tiayou Lee Fire Alarm Specialist
The date was March 9, 2025.
Odio Aspersorio (8) was having another typical day in their AP Latin class, on the verge of falling asleep to the droning voice of Mr. Ignis. But then, something gave them a much needed wake-up call: trickles of cold water down their face and back. Looking around their classroom, Aspersorio was met with the sight of cascades of water fooding the room and drenching their classmates. Across the speaker system, a monotone voice spoke: “May I have your attention please. May I have your attention please. There has been a fre emergency h o reported in the building .” (Emojis have been added for emphasis.)
The new addition to the fre detection system was working as planned: a sprinkler system was installed across Mills to go of in the entire school once smoke or heat was detected. But students like Aspersorio are unhappy about the change.
“Non laetus eram de notis meis imber datus,” they said. While The Thunderbolt was unable to determine the exact translation for this quote, Aspersorio was sporting an exasperated expression and waving around soggy papers while speaking.
The new sprinkler system
was announced on March 1 in a school-wide email, explaining that it would be the latest piece of cutting-edge technology to add to the recent updates of the previously decades-old fre alarm system. “We believe that this change will help us more adequately address threats of fre on campus,” the email read. “Also, we really wanted to contribute to California’s
to the increased sensitivity of the sensors, which get set of by substances like the vapour from vapes and probably your own breath if you breathe too hard around them.
While the sprinkler triggerings have cemented themselves as a new canon event in the Mills school day along with the standard 30-minute evacuations, students are
drought crisis.”
Since the sprinkler system was fully installed by March 7, however, the frequent triggerings of the fre alarms have restarted.
As of March 26, the alarms have gone of 38 times total, an average of approximately 2.7142857143 instances per school day.
Per a previous Thunderbolt investigation, the prevalence of the alarm triggerings is due
fnding ways to adapt despite the challenges, evolving like animals in a Darwinian struggle for survival.
Ronan Gensel (10) frst found the sprinklers as “pretty annoying,” especially in regards to certain classes. “I can’t even count the amount of times that the Bunsen burners in my Biotech class have been extinguished mid-experiment.”
But Gensel has found a way to make the best of the situation. “As a water conservationist and someone who is deeply committed to the environment, it’s kind of been a blessing in disguise. I’ve actually stopped showering at home altogether,” he says. “In fact, I think I’m starting to develop what’s probably a Pavlovian response. When I hear the fre alarm, I get this weird instinctive urge to start brushing my teeth!”
Meanwhile, the choir class has found one way to have fun with the new sprinklers. Ann Zhou (11), a member of choir, recalls one time where their class broke out into a very ftting number for the occasion. “Half of choir is like, in Mamma Mia right now. They’re literally theater kids,” they explain. “So you know what we all do? We share a look with each other and start belting ‘Singing in the Rain.’”
What may be a little harder to adapt to, though, are the exorbitant costs incurred from the new sprinklers. Paying for the thousands of liters of water from the sprinkler triggerings — not to mention reimbursing the damaged textbooks, electronics, and Bunsen burners — has put admin in a tricky situation, or more fttingly, in hot water. Estimates from a Thunderbolt reporter who’s defnitely not failing Algebra 1 place the total costs at around a million zillion dollars for the school. Guess Mills won’t be paying for better Wi-Fi anytime soon!*
Putrid Odor Prompts Class Evacuation
On a sunny Friday afternoon at approximately 12:15 pm on February 28th, a random disgusting odor flled Room 308 and prompted an evacuation for Molly Kovacs’s Algebra 1 class. The smell was unbearable as the class had to leave.
At approximately 12:15 pm, we were using our Chromebooks to fll out a seating survey and complete our DeltaMath math classwork. Then, out of nowhere, we hear a group of boys sitting in the back of the room screaming and hollering “EWWW!” They all grabbed their shirts and covered their noses because of the stench. A few of the boys went to the hallway to investigate where this mysterious smell was coming from while the other boys rushed to the front of the classroom and away from the awful smell.
Then, Kovacs walked over to the door and immediately got a whif of the sickening smell, quickly pulling up her shirt to cover up her nose, too. She sprinted to the windows and right away opened them to air out the ugly odor.
Minutes later, the putrid odor flled the atmosphere and dispersed across the classroom where every student could smell it. It smelled like rancid rotten cheese or a porta potty on a hot summer day. We don’t know where the odor came from, but it
Abigail Chai Center Spread Editor
Somepeople love starting their mornings of with a hot cup of cofee, a refreshing cup of orange juice, or a tall glass of milk, but in all honesty, most of us should just be reaching for the nearest bottle of mouthwash. However, just the task of deciding what mouthwash to use may prove difcult, as there is a seemingly endless number of options to choose from while in store.
Over the years though, I’ve collected my favorites (and least favorites) variations of mouthwash from store.
was some sort of aerosol spray— whether it was perfume or fart spray remains a mystery. One of my classmates felt nauseous before he vomited into the trash can because the smell was so sickening.
Kovacs prompted an evacuation as the smell was overpowering and sufocating. We all left the classroom and went to the lunch tables outside of the math hall. As we were leaving the classroom, the odor intensifed, becoming even stronger than inside the classroom.
Kovacs described the incident as we evacuated: “Our nose got assaulted.”
One of the campus safety specialists, John Daquioag, arrived at math hall and immediately called the ofce and notifed administration. After a couple of minutes, every Mills administrator arrived on scene of the incident one by one like cops and detectives responding to a crime scene. Principal Pamela Duszynski, Assistant Principal Jonathan White, and front ofce staf Alana Tipton, along with the campus safety specialist team, all came to math hall to investigate the smell.
After another couple of minutes, Daquioag, motioned for us to go inside the cafeteria.
After our class gathered in the cafeteria, Duszynski and White handed us incident report forms to fll out. The students had to write their witness statements of the incident of what they saw, heard, and noticed.
Thak
Duszynski chatted with us and explained how this was a serious incident and they were going to do an investigation of where that smell came from and who sprayed it.
Duszynski said, “This is a serious incident as this disrupts class time. It disrupts your learning. It was unfortunate that this happened and I want you guys to fll out those forms writing what you saw and heard. I know your teacher, Ms. Kovacs is very disappointed.”
After about 5 to 10 minutes of flling forms, the Mills admin team had deemed the classroom safe and free from the nasty odor and everyone could return back into the classroom. One
of the Mills admin team had actually passed out due to the strong odor. As we were walking back to the classroom, I heard in the background one of my classmates noted, “It still smells kind of musty in here.”
Freshmen Jonathan Liu (9) and Carison Chiu (9) both described the smell as “rotten cheese.”
Junior Olivia Pan (11), who was in her AP Statistics class across the room, describes the smell as “if a dead fsh had a baby in the sewers.”*
Continue reading on millsthunderbolt.com
While Colgate has some fabulous tubes of toothpaste, I’m admittedly not a fan of their Optic White mouthwash. Despite its powerful minty taste, it doesn’t leave you with that refreshing feeling you have after you leave the dentist. Instead, it leaves your mouth with a burning sensation and a weird aftertaste. Also, the mouthwash itself doesn’t come in a cool neon color which is just boring :( (6/10)
Unlike Colgate, Crest can deliver both an amazing toothpaste AND mouthwash. To many’s dismay, mouthwash tends to have a burning aftertaste, but Crest’s mouthwash fortunately doesn’t. So you’re still getting the minty and refreshing benefts of mouthwash, without the pain! And like how all mouthwashes should be, it comes in a bright blue hue, making it a fun start to the day! (9/10)
Let’s start normalizing mouthwashes in FUN favors. Mouthwash can still leave you with clean teeth in favors other than some mint variation and ACT’s mouthwash is proof of that. While made specifcally for kids, it still hits all the marks of a great mouthwash. Plus, it’s pink which is my favorite color soooooooo 10/10!*
EWW: Students cover their noses, gag, and puke a bit at the awful smell.
MATTHEW DU / Basketball Enthusiast
Mathew Du Odor Analyst
EVACUATION: Students evacuate to feld with towels and hygiene products.
Alumni Adventures
2024 graduate Chris S. was, and still is, the youngest student to ever come out of Mills High School. After spending days tracking down this successful alumni, I was fnally able to schedule an appointment for an interview a couple weeks ago. We talked about his state of life right now, what he does, how he got there, and advice he has for current students. Here’s what he said: What is your life like right now?
“I don’t work,” Chris said, “but I live very comfortably. I have a house in the Bay Area and mostly play Brawl Stars, basketball, and Nintendo all day.” I was curious to know about how he supports himself, where he gets everyday necessities like food and water, and how he does chores if all he does is play video games and basketball. He shared, “I have someone who cooks food for me, someone who drives me places, and someone who does my laundry and dishes. They usually accompany me when I get groceries or go out to eat, and also help me manage my
PASSING TIME: Alumni Chris S. enjoyshisfreetimeposthighschool.
How do you feel about your life right now?
Chris explained, “I’m very proud of how far I’ve come and am very content with my current lifestyle. I have lots of free time and not many responsibilities since they are covered by my helpers.” I was thoroughly impressed, and asked him how he got to live such an amazing and carefree life. He responded, “I worked hard in school, stayed on top of my assignments, and balanced my class with my hobbies.”
Do you have any advice for current students?
After a couple minutes of deep thinking, he responded, “I would say, use your smarts, make friends, have fun, and play Brawl Stars like me.”
To conclude this addition of Alumni Adventures, the Thunderbolt would like to say a great thank you to Chris S. for taking time out of his busy schedule to conduct this interview. It was full of fun and very informative as we we talked about the best ways to succeed in high school.
Chris’s journey shows that with hard work, a strong balance between academics and personal interests, and the right support system, it’s possible to create a life flled with both success and inspiration.*
Mr. Pretto Prepares to Retire as a Lumberjack
In a surprising career twist that has left Mills High students both amused and confused, longtime English teacher Anthony Pretto has decided to hang up his lesson plans and take up an axe — ofcially retiring from teaching to become a lumberjack in the forest.
When asked what inspired this dramatic shift, Pretto bluntly answered: “I think squirrels are better mannered than my ninth graders.” After a thoughtful pause, he added, “Actually, I think the squirrels are better mannered than most students. The squirrels — and other woodland creatures.”
Pretto’s new career path has been confusing to some, but when asked about what inspires him in his new profession, he answered. “There’s a great sense of accomplishment when you cut down a tree that’s grown
for thousands of years,” he said. “To hear it crash down on the forest foor and know it’s going to be used to create wood products like particle board, plywood, sawdust… maybe even wood chips that’ll end up in your hamster’s cage — that’s rewarding.”
The transition from classroom to forest, of course, hasn’t been without its challenges. “The commute is much longer,” Pretto admitted. “I have to drive all the way up to the mountains now. But at least there’s no trafc — unless you count the occasional deer crossing.” Despite the shift from grading papers to chopping trees, Pretto’s Skills seems to have no problem applying his snarky personality and sarcastic genius to his new profession, and he has had no problem making new friends. “Yeah, there’s a small cadre of animals that follow me around the forest foor,” he revealed. “There’s a rabbit and a young deer. Also, a bobcat — but sometimes he scratches at me
Boba Bots’ Sharon Zhang Wins Dean’s List Award
On March 2nd, Sharon Zhang (11) was awarded Dean’s List
Finalist at the FIRST Robotics Pinnacles Regional competition, recognizing their exceptional leadership skills and impact on the Mills robotics team, the Boba Bots 253. This marks a historic moment for the team, as Zhang is the frst student in its 26 years of operations to take home the title.
The Dean’s List award is the highest award a student can receive within FIRST Robotics, a global organization that hosts high school robotics competitions. This is also the only award an individual student can receive, honoring those who demonstrate a commitment to FIRST’s values, technical
award into perspective, Anjali Abraham, physics teacher and lead robotics mentor at Mills, explained, “It’s efectively the National Merit Scholarship for FIRST Robotics, and engineering programs from top universities specifcally look for that.”
Heading into the competition, Zhang remained cautiously optimistic. “I wanted to hope for it, but also I knew that there were a lot of very qualifed applicants there and so, I mean, it would be unlikely,” Zhang (11) remembered.
Despite the team facing technical setbacks and consecutive losses at the competition, Zhang remained resilient and focused on supporting team morale. When the award was announced, they were caught completely of guard.
“I heard the frst half of my
expertise, a passion for STEAM, and have made a measurable impact on their community. Each team can only enter two sophomore or junior members per year, selected through self and peer nominations. Finalists are chosen based on personalized essays submitted by adult mentors and an inperson interview conducted and evaluated by FIRST judges.
During the closing ceremony of the last day, the Dean’s List award is announced for two students, giving each fnalist the opportunity to attend the FIRST Robotics Championship and compete to be a Dean’s List Winner.
To put the signifcance of this
name, and then I heard [the team] screaming. And then I think I blacked out because I don’t remember a lot from the next fve minutes.” Zhang admitted, “I think somebody had to push me to get me to actually start going [down to the feld]… And then I remember seeing myself on the screen as I was walking up there.”
Zhang especially treasured a moment after receiving Dean’s List. “There was a part where I was coming back and then they announced the second winner, which was actually my friend on another team…So I remember just running out to her and hugging her and that got clipped.” Zhang’s celebration
with their fellow Dean’s List Finalist made it onto several robotics YouTube channels and streams—a full-circle moment.
Back at Mills, Zhang is a lead in the Construction Department, a subteam dedicated to designing, prototyping, and assembling the robot in collaboration with Electronics and Programming. Now in their third year on the team and second as a lead, Zhang has made a lasting impact. Their fresh approach to organizing the team has helped things run more efciently while also creating a more welcoming and inclusive environment.
Tech mentor Kerry Scharfglass, who has been with the team for seven years, commented, “Right now, Sharon has a bunch of people at a bunch of diferent levels of seniority doing things in the lab sort of autonomously. Everybody, no
early, saying, “We have a frst week competition, so most people in this team are not used to building a robot from scratch in six weeks, and we fnished it early…Just completing a more complicated robot in less time than we usually take [was possible] because of Sharon’s ability to lead a diverse group of members and make sure that they all contribute to the robot.”
Most importantly, though, Zhang has played a crucial role in fostering an inclusive and supportive environment, particularly for non-male students.
Arielle Feng (9) joined the Construction Department last fall, and recounts, “When I frst joined, I actually had like, really no friends and since the frst activity was to pair with someone, I didn’t have any idea who to go to. And Sharon just dragged me
matter what level they’re at, can contribute something to Construction.” He added, “I feel like there are more people more consistently engaged now than there have been in a while.”
Zhang not only developed a clear, accessible schedule for their department but also created and taught CAD curriculum for rookie members. They also worked to ensure tasks were distributed more evenly between returning and rookie members, helping everyone contribute and grow. Their impact was especially evident during this year’s build season. Abraham refected on how Zhang’s leadership allowed the team to fnish their robot
along and started helping me.” Feng appreciates the resources and time Zhang puts into making sure each individual member feels confdent in their engineering abilities.
Another new Construction member, Rachel Cabrera (9), noted, “They can explain things well, too. I feel like when Sharon explains it to me, I just get it. It clicks in my head…And they do it in a way so that you don’t feel intimidated by it.”
And for Zhang, this is what they value most: getting to work as a team and building up others...*
Continue reading on
ANTHONY PRETTO / Mills High School
ACHIEVING DREAMS: Pretto begins his new job, cutting down local timber.
when I try to give him pets.” At the time or writing this article, Pretto was reportedly spotted in the woods with his axe over his shoulder, bobcat at hist heels, and a well loved copy of Where the Wild Things Are sticking out of his back pocket.*
AMELIA NAUGHTEN/The Thunderbolt
FEELING GOOD: Zhang speaking with robotics students from other schools in the pit.
AMELIA NAUGHTEN/The Thunderbolt
FEELING PROUD: Zhang on their way back to the stands after receiving Dean’s List.
Meag So Staff Writer
Amelia Naughten News Editor
Noah Ung Staff Writer
Dead Capybara Found on Highway Brought for Dissection
Jada P Staff Writer
Around 7:20 a.m. Friday, a strange discovery was made by Mills biology teacher, Steven Wang, on Highway 280 during his morning commute. While driving along Highway 280, he spotted a carcass on the roadside that he initially thought was a deer. Upon further inspection, Mr. Wang realized that it was a dead capybara, an animal native to South America.
“I thought it was a prank at frst,” said Mr. Wang. “But then I remember reading an article from National Geographic about how animals from South America are migrating north because of climate change. It suddenly made sense how they reached the Bay Area.”
Capybaras are the largest rodents in the world, native to dense forests and grasslands in countries such as Peru and Venezuela. While they are usually restricted to their native habitats, researchers have recently documented unusual migration patterns as warmer climates push these animals north.
Seeing this as a learning opportunity, Mr. Wang
immediately picked up the dead capybara and loaded it in the back of his truck, bringing it to school. It now resides in a chest freezer, kept fresh until the day of the dissection.
“My students are always asking, are we gonna dissect something?” said Mr. Wang. “I don’t want to kill something in order to dissect it, but if it’s already dead, there’s a good learning opportunity there.”
Since it is a rare chance to dissect an animal from South America, Mr. Wang plans on holding a live dissection in the theater on May 1. This event will be free for all students to attend, ofering a rare look into the anatomy of a capybara. He encourages attendees to come with an open mind to learn about anatomy, evolution, and adaptations. The dissection will be projected on the big screen for the audience to see.
Mr. Wang assures that all necessary safety precautions will be taken for the dissection. While the capybara was relatively fresh when discovered and quickly frozen, it is impossible to know what types of bacteria are in the carcass. Attendees can expect to see the use of goggles, gloves, and gowns, with all equipment being thoroughly sterilized before and after the procedure.
The dissection process will
Lights,
be graphic, and “discretion is advised” for students interested in attending. “If you feel a little woozy or need fresh air, just step outside,” said Mr. Wang.
While Mr. Wang is excited about the live dissection, experts continue to monitor the northward migration of various species along the west coast to Canada, specifcally due to the rising temperatures in their natural habitats. The capybara’s presence in California sparks concerns, and its possible environmental impact on native ecosystems is also being assessed.
Dr. Barry Capelli, a wildlife biologist with the Pacifc Center for Biodiversity Research, explained that the arrival of the capybara in California refects a “signifcant shift in nature.”
“This is part of a broader trend of species expanding their territories,” said Dr. Capelli. “It’s a phenomenon we’ve never seen before.”
At the same time, the appearance of the exotic animal has raised some legal concerns. Mr. Wang is currently being investigated by both state and federal authorities—the California Department of Wildlife and Homeland Security Investigations—for suspicions of illegal wildlife trafcking.
Mr. Wang insists that he is innocent, protesting that the capybara had migrated naturally.
“It’s only trafcking if you bring it across the border,” said Mr. Wang. “I didn’t bring it here. I just found it. And I’m not trying to proft from it—we’re just going to dissect it and dispose of it properly.”
Camera, Shower, Action
When asked about any other fndings besides fnding the capybara, Mr. Wang said, “I didn’t know capybaras tasted like pork.”
Mr. Wang did not elaborate further on his statement.*
Amanda Seyfried and Meryl Streep Make an Appearance at Mills’ Mamma
Mikayla Ho Staff Writer
On March 14, the day after the open house, it was announced that Amanda Seyfried and Meryl Streep would be making an opening announcement on the highly anticipated frst night of Mills drama department’s own version of Mamma Mia!
These two renowned actresses’ special appearances were quite unexpected, but it took days of preparation to get them on stage. Unfortunately, due to the lack of broadcasting, Seyfried and Streep performed to a nonexistent audience. On March 31st during opening night, what people thought was last minute preparations and dress rehearsals turned out to be a legendary performance missed by all.
Filled with embarrassment and shame, Seyfried and Streep’s respective companies ceased all footage and media, erasing all traces of the two ever stepping foot on Mills ground. Although there may be no evidence of the two ever opening, the eforts from
Set
the Mills Drama Department cannot go unnoticed. Director and Professor Hudelson, who teaches the dramatic arts and English literature reacted to the announcement by saying,“It’s good to have their endorsements.
I mean our performers are much more skilled than them, but, you know I really appreciate their shoutout for what they’re doing.”
Hudelson, who is just an Emmy away from an EGOT credits this as to why Streep and Seyfried asked to perform at Mills. “Well, since they’re not really successful or working, I think they just found us in The Daily Journal. We’ve been advertising there, and they just wanted to, like, bother us,” says Hudelson.
Naia Germain (11) who plays the leading character Sophie says,“I sent them both letters around three months ago inviting them to the show, and I didn’t think they’d come. I guess once they found out about Mr. Hudelson’s Tony award they decided to make the trip!”
The leads of Mamma Mia! and Hudelson formed a “frst name basis” relationship with Streep and Seyfried during
the week leading up to the show. Playing the titular role as Sophie, Germain remarked “Mr. Hudelson set up a time for Amanda and me to get froyo together to discuss character choices.”
Along with Germain, Brianna Kei (12) who plays Donna often visits Streep’s humble abode in Connecticut in between rehearsals. “Meryl is more on the chill side and Amanda’s very, very outgoing, very bubbly. Just like their characters in Mamma Mia!” shares Kei.
Speaking of abodes, Hudelson revealed the actor’s personal information would be provided, stating, “Anything is available, I’ll be sure to put it in the program, including addresses and ways that you can send them things you know, even like dead mice.”
Despite the positives, there will always be some negatives. All three collectively agreed there has been a foul stench lingering around them. “I think that just after she did the movie, she never showered. Smells like, you know, Greece,” says Hudelson. Kei believes that they smell depending on the day.
“It’s like a method acting thing they’re doing to prepare for Mamma Mia! 3,” adds Germain.
Backstage drama is no exception. “They’ve been spending so much time in the stables that I sometimes hear them bleating backstage,” states Germain.
“I told Meryl that I thought her performance in Into the
any help with vocals and acting, I’m more than happy to help her,” Hudelson vocalized. Besides the behind-thescenes drama, onstage Streep and Seyfried still performed some great hits...*
Continue reading on millsthunderbolt.com
Sail for Mills 2025 “City Nights on the Bay” Prom Night
Bi ca P do
Entertainment Editor
As April comes closer, juniors and seniors here at Mills High School are starting to grow more and more excited. It could be because of the much-anticipated Spring break, meaning a whole week of relaxation that we all desperately deserve. But, it could also be because one of the most looked-forward to events in high school is fast approaching, well of course, it’s prom season! Around
this time, students are rushing to purchase their tickets before the prices go up and either going to stores in-person or online for the dress or suit of their dreams. All this is done in the hopes of having a unforgettable night. With the theme being “City on the Bay,” a lot of the excitement is building up, looking forward to the night on April 19th, 2025. And with that, let’s explore a bit further, like for example, the location of this incredible celebration.
This year, we as Mills students get to experience a
rare and exciting opportunity, happening only one in every four years. Our own prom will be hosted on the water! What a way to make this event even more special. Because of this unique opportunity, there’s no surprise on why everyone is eager to attend. What’s even more exciting is knowing the famous people who have been on this vessel. Legendies like Ben Ainslie and Robin KnoxJohnson could only dream of something like this. It’s not just any boat either, but an actually masterpiece, that the famous
Popeye would have called it his personal favorite. It’s rich in history and the fact that we get to experience it only adds to the appeal of this prom. So let’s see the amazing piece that we’ll be on and experience on the open water.
This boat was truly marked by time, one of a kind, a classic if you will. It’s a bit vintage, but that only adds to the appeal...*
Continue
JADA PAN / Mills High School
CLASS DISCUSION: Mr. Wang joyfully prepares for AP Biology’s new lesson.
Woods was terrible. If she needs
RON DAUPHIN / Unsplash
MIKAYLA HO The Thunderbolt
CEASING THE MOMENT: Mr. Hudelson holds his Grammy award proudly.
Dear Editor,
There’s this senior baddie in my AP Physics but they never notice me since I sit in the back. How do I ask them out? (The huzz is in my 3rd period by the way.)
As you’re two years younger than your crush, they probably don’t share the same feelings with you, much less even know you exist. To get them to like you back though, try building up your relationship with them by leaving anonymous gifts of chocolates, flowers, and passionate poems in their locker. Eventually, just mail these sweet treats to their home! Soon enough, they’ll become so enamored by your acts of kindness, that they won’t even care that you’re a sophomore <3
Dear Editor,
Last week my best friends got into one of the most horrific fights I’ve EVER witnessed. Now, I’m in the middle of it all and have no idea what to do. how can I bring back peace in our friend group!?
Dear Editor,
I’m failing all my classes because I can’t stop playing Block Blast. Gotta make this quick BTW…I’m in the middle of a game rn. I almost beat my high score! Anyway, what should I do?
In your best interest, it’d be best to step away from Block Blast. . . and try a different game! A personal favorite of mine is Roblox. The best part is that you can be anything on Roblox like a therapist, barista, or model! With the endless options of career choices in-game, you don’t even have to pay attention in class anymore. So while you may still be failing all your classes, at least you have a job to clock into at the end of the day!
Like any good friend, I imagine you just want to help your besties, but in all honesty, just let the conflict settle itself. Pretend that everything’s fine and just play dumb. When they come for help or to complain about one another, try saying, “you sound crazy”, “are you sure?”, or even “huh”. Like you, they’ll eventually forget what happened. As I often say, ignorance is bliss!
Sophomore Simp
Addicted Arnold
Friendless Florence
www.asktheeditor.com
Dear Editor,
As you may know, we’ve had, like, a million fire drills in the past month. Between you and me, I’m the problem! Every time I try to vape, I accidentally set off the alarms. I was wondering if you had any advice for me on how to avoid
Hi Helpless Harold. Thanks for bringing this to our attention. So actually, we’re pretty worried about you right now…how are your lungs? Vaping is really bad for your body, and the best solution for this is to stop. Hope this helps <3
Dear Editor,
So college decision season is getting me down. I got REJECTED from my dream school :( How can I convince them to take me in!?!!???
Chances are your loved ones are currently telling you “rEjeCtiOn iS reDiReCtioN”; but ignore them! To really impress the admissions office, assert your dominance and personally contact them. I recommend emailing an admissions officer and if they don’t respond after the next five emails, try visiting their house! Google exists for a reason. You may think your dream school doesn’t want you, but in reality they’re just playing hard to get.
Dear Editor,
I have a HUGE crush on someone. They’re tall, kind, brave, loves to wear hats, and has an axe (by the way, it’s the Viking). What should I do? They’re so popular and there’s always a huge crowd around them. I just get lost in those big black beady eyes...
Assuming you’re talking about our mascot. . . I’m not sure about that one. To get over your little crush, just ask yourself, “When was the last time that suit was washed?” And if that doesn’t work, there’s always therapy!
Helpless Harold
Head Over Heels Heather
Desperate Debbie
Opinions
Big Dreams: Introducing Nap Program for Students
J elle P tilon Features Editor
With gloomy days, recent time changes, and rigorous classes, 70% of high school students are currently sleep deprived. After sharing their concerns for their lack of sleep and how it afects their academic performance and overall mindset in school, students began looking to admin for help. Starting mid-April of this semester, Mills will implement its new “NAP LAND” program. This program will be available in the East Gym every day, excluding special schedules or minimum days. Students will be able to change their schedules to ft this time into their day without heavily interfering with their other classes or responsibilities. This pitch has seemed to gain a lot of appeal amongst the student body as students have stressed their need to catch up on sleep along with the ways
they’ll beneft more from this designated time in comparison to sleeping during class.
While this will be a big adjustment for staf, the majority has chimed in their support towards bettering student’s wellbeing and see this as a great opportunity. Dean Christian shares his thoughts on the NAP LAND program by saying, “I think the weather has everyone needing some extra- now the time change means catching up on sleep.” Other teachers have commented how they hope the program will minimize the number of students sleeping during their class and improve productivity across the board.
Grace Flores (11) says, “I think this will be a great program, especially for the upperclassmen who have a lot more on their plates like those taking several AP classes. As a student-athlete, being able to take a quick nap in the middle of my day will allow me to get re-energized and more concentrated until the end of school, extending to my practice.”
Another junior, Emily Wong, had a similar opinion as Flores, explaining, “ it will defnitely help with not falling asleep in classes and it’ll give me a power nap before practice.”
Plans are still in progress towards transforming the East Gym into a comfortable and relaxing place but you’ll certainly see a lot of decor that makes the room more cozy. As for where students will sleep, there will be pod-like nooks around the gym where students can pick their spots. Wong suggests that the gym has “fairy lights to create a soothing mood, plushies, no windows, and lots and lots of blankets.”
Personally, I am thrilled to have this privilege at school because it seems not only well thought out but also benefcial for all. It’s also good that administrators will be introducing the NAP LAND system at the end of the year, when students are experiencing high levels of stress and are in need of time to decompress the most.*
All Refective Surfaces on Campus to Be Removed
ATTENTION MILLS
VIKINGS, THERE HAS BEEN AN URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT!!
After thorough observation, our administration has recently discovered that our school has a serious problem, and because of it, more and more kids have been found neglecting school work, ditching class, and arriving late to periods. You all may be wondering, ‘what is it’? The answer:: mirrors. Apparently, students have been caught using chromebook cameras to take selfes instead of working on assignments, fxing their appearances in bathrooms instead of going to class, and overall, just staring at themselves so much that they have no time to be productive. Additionally, mirrors seem to pose an issue with students who don’t want to see their refections as well, and many of these kids have reported and sent in complaints about mirrors to teachers and
counselors, reporting these pieces of glass to sites like STOP IT for feeding their insecurities.
According to the admin, this mirror problem has become so out of hand that they have come to a shocking conclusion.
All mirrors will be removed from school grounds entirely! However, it’s not just mirrors, but all refective surfaces and objects as well, to prevent any other methods of students looking at their refections or causes of rising appearance insecurities.
To make matters worse, this rule is efective immediately.
That means every refective item on at Mills will be removed or confscated if detected by newly hired renovators or staf as soon as possible. In the next couple weeks, all refective objects ranging from things made of shiny metal like utensils to things made of glass, like windows and doors will be taken away and demolished due to the “potential danger they could put students in”.
In my opinion, this is outrageous! There is no reason to go to such extremities! There
is no need to remove all mirrors from campus and defnitely no need whatsoever to remove every single refective thing in sight just because we want or don’t want to see how we look. This attempt at solving a small, harmless problem is going to end up causing major complications.
McKayla Chan (9) shared a similar opinion and her personal struggles regarding this new regulation. During our interview, I found out her glasses were recently confscated due to their “hazardous properties”, as the staf member who confscated them stated. Chan exclaimed, “I HATE THIS NEW RULE! I can’t wear my glasses to school anymore and it’s impossible to see anything from a distance [without them].” She continued, “There was this incident where I was running to what I thought was my friend, but it was a pole! I nearly ran into it! This new rule has to be removed!”
That’s not all! Students who spend their free periods of campus have been spotted jumping through spaces and frames around Mills’ buildings
where windows and doors used to occupy, no longer forced to wait to be let back in. Julia Smith (9) said, “I was in a math hall classroom during fex when I saw a senior dolphin dive through one of the removed windows and onto the foor. They were in such a rush and rolled into, like, fve desks before sprinting to their next class! This is a hazard! We seriously need to allow glass on campus again!” In addition to wanting to prevent bowling ball seniors, the admin needs to remove this new rule because it could seriously put all our safety in jeopardy.
Another freshman, Kara Cheung added her opinion on the matter, talking about her experience in one of the girls’ bathrooms that had already been “fxed” by renovators. She started, “This new rule is crazy! I was trying to use the restroom, but I ended up walking into someone using one instead. All of the locks on the stalls were ripped of!” She continued talking about how pipes, mirrors, metal pieces, faucets, and more were missing.
“Then, when I walked into a
diferent stall, the toilet was clogged with…you don’t wanna know. All the fush handles were gone too,” she fnished. So apparently, admin is worried that after all the mirrors and windows are gone, students will turn to look at themselves through shiny metal locks and toilet fushes as an alternative. I mean, come on, we’re not desperate! This change on campus has caused so many incidents and inconveniences in the past couple days, and only a few appliances have been removed. So imaging the damage it’ll cause after all refective surfaces and objects are removed entirely! There have also been several other odd things reported recently, some examples including an increase in random outsiders and animals being found on campus and water fountains dispensing liquid at random times in random places, due to missing (refective) pipes. So, to whoever has control over this rule, administrators, staf, board of education, superintendent, SOMEONE, please remove this regulation and save us all.*
Meag So Staff Writer
MEAGAN SO / The Mills Thunderbolt
SCHOOL BATHROOMS: Removal of bathroom mirrors.
JANELLE PANTILON / The Mills Thunderbolt
SLEEPY SOULS: Students practice napping to prepare for NAP LAND.
DOORS: No more tinted doors; they distract kids! UH OH: A fellow student distracted by their refection.
Internet Might be Replaced with Seagulls
After the internet outage which crippled Mills the school admin has decided to switch from the internet to using seagulls for transmission of information. This is not an unprecedented move as birds have long been a popular way to transport letters. Pigeons were often used to transport mail and information. Even after the invention of the telephone and internet some still used pigeons such as during the world wars. Some even won medals such as G.I. Joe the pigeon. When the British 169th Infantry Brigade took the village of Calvi Risorta, Italy they had to call of a previously requested bombing on the village, but their radio failed. In desperation they turned to G.I. Joe who they sent to stop the bombing run. He travelled 20 miles in 20 minutes and successfully stopped the bombers from taking of earning himself a British Dickins Medal (the animal equivalent to the Victoria’s Cross).
While Mills is not at war, we have become too reliant on the internet as it is fckle and as shown by the outage can cripple the learning of students. Instead
of relying on the internet the school has decided to invest in an avian delivery system, but instead of using pigeons which prefer the cold fog of San Francisco, uses seagulls. The plan is for
then they can call a seagull to safely and quickly transport their work. According to Save Coastal Wildlife, a environmental nonproft, seagulls can fy at up to 28 mph which is faster than
students to move back to paper and if they need something sent to a teacher or other student
they, being birds, fy which means it will not interfere
with foot trafc of students. Mills history teacher Barbara Campbell said, “The school has become too reliant on computers as almost everything we do is based around them”. Everyone at school carries a chromebook around with them doing a majority of their work on them, but when the internet slows or goes out then all of a sudden all of the lesson plans grind to a halt. “Having an alternate way of communication for the school; a way to get information around is going to be great for the school.”
As for the logistics of this operation it was also announced that the East Gym would be converted into the aviary where all of the birds would be housed. Each classroom will have a seagull assigned to them and when they want to send something the seagull will go to the aviary where it will be transferred onto its fnal destination.
If this system works it coud disconnect the school from the internet and insolate us from any future internet outages as well as making Mills the only school in the world to have a bird based transportation system which will be cool. Only time will tell if this system works and if it will help improve the student experience at Mills High School.*
Seniors Required to Have Seven Periods
Coming into the spring semester I have not seen any seniors attending classes. They either are not taking classes at the beginning or end of the day or have just been arriving late to their classes. Thus I propose to make it mandatory for seniors to take 7 periods in the day to remove their laziness.
Taking a mandatory of seven classes will undoubtedly have major benefts to the senior class. They will inevitably be more productive while in and out of class, and the sleepy seniors will be forced to have a healthy and normal sleep schedule.
A major complaint I have heard about this idea is that the seniors who are already taking fve or six classes will get an unexpectedly higher workload and seniors would get burnout. However this would actually increase the productivity of students instead. Seniors will now have to adapt to the change and in turn will be using their time more wisely to handle the new workload rather than sleep all day.
The other beneft to this is the fact that seniors will have a regular sleep schedule. Now that they have to arrive at class at 8:30 am they will have to think about whether the time they’re sleeping will get them late. Eventually, seniors will start sleeping at 10 pm and wake up at 6 am to get the full eight hours of sleep they need to be productive in the classroom.
Given all the amazing benefts to having seven mandatory classes it is a surprise to have not seen it implemented sooner. In fact, this should be the set standard for schools across the nation to improve the lives of students.
With seven mandatory classes being so benefcial we should start introducing more classes into our schedules. Why just seven classes? We should have an eighth and a ninth period for seniors to take. The benefts to adding more classes will pile up more and more until we have the possibly best senior class.
The higher workload of more classes will also prepare seniors for the cruel reality of the workforce. Working at least ten hours a day in classes and with homework will simulate what it feels like to work a real job under constant pressure and stress from a boss.*
Hayden Bunce Staff Writer
Despite the backlash at the Oscars, I’m here to tell you it’s actually phenomenal music and you guys are just haters. The music contains authentic lyrics that come from the heart and not AI. It’s clear that the actors and actresses truly held this close to their hearts as these musically talented people sang from their hearts. “Emilia Perez” pulls of what musicals like “Cabaret” or “Les Mis” want to have. Some of you may say it’s at the likes of “CATS 2019” but unlike “CATS” “Emilla Perez” is a masterpiece. It is a family story that is more powerful than
the Academy Award Winner “A Marriage Story.” Selena Gomez is one step closer to gaining EGOT status even if she didn’t win any awards she’s a winner in our hearts. Despite your personal hate for fantastic movies the voters know what’s hope because “Emilia Perez” won 96 of the 266 awards they were nominated for. Are you out here making an awardwinning movie or crying about it on Letterboxd? “Emilia Perez” is truly so well crafted that its music is better than the orchestra in Stanley Kubrick’s movies. Every time I think about this movie it brings tears to my eyes because it’s so incredibly impactful. So yes, El Mal did deserve that Oscar you just hate to see talented people winning.*
HAYDEN BUNCE / The Chronically Online LETTERBOXD: The impressive average rating for Emilia Perez.
prime Usain Bolt. There is also the fact that
ELIJAH CABATIC / The Mills Thunderbolt
NEW INTERNET: A noble seagull, ready to replace our school Wi-Fi.
EDUARDO GALINDO AGUILAR / The Mills Thunderbolt
STRESSED-OUT STUDENTS: Rising seniors appear stressed at the thought of having seven periods.
EDUARDO GALINDO AGUILAR / The Mills Thunderbolt
NEW SCHEDULE: A sneak-peek look at a senior’s schedule next year.
HAYDEN BUNCE / The Mills Thunderbolt POSTER: Emilia Perez.
Elijah C atic Staff Writer
Eduardo Galindo Aguilar Copy Editor
Girls Basketball Wins CCS D3 Championship
Eliz eth P iagua Staff Writer
As our Winter sports come to an end, our girls basketball team’s hard work has not only taken them to the D3 CCS championship but also a big CCS win! It was an extremely close game against Notre Dame High School with a ending score of 51-
50. Lets see what some players had to say about this amazing season.
“Making CCS was expected for my team,” says senior shooting guard Sofa Kwan. When Kwan was asked what strategies she uses for her games, she said that meditating was one way she could calm down and stay focused before her game.
Kwan’s favorite memory from winning CCS this year was in the
fnal quarter, when the whole team looked at each other and realized they were going to win. Kwan feels accomplished about being a CCS champion and beating Notre Dame, the team they had lost to last year. She also feels good ending her senior year of high school as a CCS champion.
Amaya Moore (11) has almost the exact same response as Kwan. Moore says it was her
Word Search
frst time playing basketball for high school so it felt really good making it to CCS. One strategy Moore uses to focus on the game and her role, including what she has to do during a game. Moores favorite memory was also when the whole team realized they had won. Moore recalls when the last buzzer went of at the end of the game and her whole team started jumping up and celebrating together. Lastly, Moore feels
good about winning CCS because even though she’s made CCS before in a diferent sport, she didn’t win. “It feels good being on the winning side for once.” says Moore.
As you can see, our lady vikings are just as proud of each other as we are of them. Their hard work and dedication will never be unnoticed and it has brought them the title of “CCS Champions.” Great work girls!
If
Ballet Requirement for Football Players
HMadyson T
Staff Writer
g
ave you heard of the news regarding the Mills Football team? Well if you haven’t, be prepared because ballet is now the new thing for football players!
JV player Andrew Hampton, a freshman at Mills, had one year on the football team before this outrageous rule. Hampton tells us, “This is a complete outrage. Never in my one year of playing did I think we’d have to do ballet. Firstly, just because we love the game of football doesn’t mean we should do ballet. Honestly, I think at this point they should just scrap the football program because this is going to be bad.”
Bryson Melgar (9), another JV player on the Mills Football team mentioned, “I think forcing us to do ballet is absurd. We are violent football players, not soft ballerinas. I might not even play
next year if this is how things turn out. It is honestly sad how bad our football program has turned.”
Mr. Keller, the sports director here at Mills, commented on the new set rule saying, “This rule should be in place to fnally teach the tough football players to be fexible and more relaxed. It can help them dodge the other players better and stay on their feet.”
A student at Mills gives his opinion on the new rule for the football program. “I was planning on joining next season but this new rule has me second guessing my decision. With the ballet program, I guess I will be fexible but actually doing it would be a pain.
This new program for the Mills football team is a crazy new rule that has now put the players in a dilemma. Having to train in ballet now has football players questioning their decision to play the sport.*
Swim Team Moves Practice to Land
Warren Shiu Staff Writer
MillsHigh School’s swim team is making history this year—but not quite the kind they had in mind. When the school pool was suddenly shut down for “technical issues” early this season, the team was left to practice on dry land.
Coach Christy insists that the change is “an exciting opportunity for innovation.” The new program includes dry-land freestyle, air butterfy, and an especially demanding exercise called “Invisible Water Kicking,” where swimmers are on their backs and pretend to kick forward. Some even practice fip turns on the gymnasium wall, a drill that Christy calls “mental visualization.”
Alex Vasquez (12), a seasoned swimmer known for his backstroke, expressed his concerns about the new training methods. “I’ve been swimming competitively for six years,” Vasquez said. “I never thought I’d have to practice my freestyle on the ground.” When asked whether the new landbased approach might improve endurance, Vasquez scofed. “If Coach wanted us to get better, we’d be in a pool. Not running laps.” He went on to explain that during the last practice, he and his teammates were told to “foat” on the basketball court, leading to multiple swimmers lying fat on their backs and staring at the ceiling in silence.
David Li (11), however, sees the bright side. “Honestly, I’m thriving,” he admitted. “I never was so great at swimming for real, but I look great performing the moves on dry land. My 100-meter freestyle time now is as fast as I’d like it to be,” Li said. “Because there’s no water, it’s just me and my imagination.” He’s even racing himself now and claims he set a world record.
Another junior and selfproclaimed “team cheerleader,” Sophie Hlushko, is also looking forward to the season. “I was devastated at frst,” Hlushko
said. “But then I thought—well, if there’s no pool, there’s no chance of me falling into the water like I already have once this season. This is really the safest I’ve ever felt.” Hlushko took this a step further in her dedication, starting an online petition to keep practices dry even after the pool reopens.
She’s also started designing team T-shirts that read “Swim Team: Now 100% Dry” in bold letters. The controversy has sparked mixed reactions from the student body. Some nonswimmers have begun showing up to practice just to watch the bizarre spectacle of students dramatically diving onto the grass and performing air strokes with terrifying intensity.
For now, the mystery of the broken pool goes unsolved, and the swim team keeps on fguring it out. Coach Christy was not bothered. “We are going to win the league this year,” she promised. “Once we get in the pool again, that is.”
Meanwhile, students shouldn’t be alarmed if they catch some group of players kicking and failing their arms in the middle of the quad. It’s just another practice day.*
Kalyssa Chu Staff Writer
Miles Vikie (11) is one of the star sprinters of the varsity track and feld team. Emerging from the team’s most recent meet, Vikie won all of his races and beat his personal best by a signifcant margin. According to Vikie, the secret to success is simple. “Literally just run,” he said, “And if you get passed in a race, run faster.” Vikie continued, “I don’t know why people say they lose races because they get tired. I don’t think it works that way. Don’t get tired and run faster.”
As a track enthusiast, Vikie centers his life around running, which he believes is why he’s able to accomplish so much as an athlete. “I run everywhere,” Vikie stated, “That’s why I always sprint to the lunch cart after fourth period. It’s not because I’m hungry or anything…I just want to get another rep in.” Vikie noted how people often question his methods, primarily over concerns about burn-out. However, he doesn’t necessarily agree with his doubters. “I’m pretty sure rest days are a myth,” Vikie said, “The best runners operate purely on cafeine and raw adrenaline.”
For other runners out there, Vikie asserts, “Have you ever seen a cheetah take a rest day or worry about their stride form? The answer is no. Just run hard and never stop, and you’ll do great things.”*
MADYSON TANG / The Mills Thunderbolt DANCE ROOM: Where the team will start practicing lessons next year.
Final Rally, Final Season
Emily Wu Staff Writer
As Squid Game rose in popularity late last year, it has been decided that Mills Leadership will host their own version of the show. Squid Game is a thrilling series that aired its frst season in 2021 with the anticipated second season released in 2024. The show is full of intense challenges, where contestants compete in lifeor-death games that test their endurance, intelligence, and resilience.
Leadership advisor, Ms. Dove explained that hosting the school’s version
of Squid Game could serve as a unique and engaging way to connect with students.
“You know, I think we’re always trying to create rally themes that really hit the zeitgeist of what our students are interested in,” Ms. Dove remarked. “Because when we hit something that kids are interested in, they’re going to be more engaged.”
She added, “And Squid Game, obviously, it’s a global phenomenon, so it just seemed like a natural ft. So it just, again, seemed to really work.” The events will blend both teamwork and strategic decision making, encouraging collaboration among students as they work together to navigate diferent challenges. The fnal rally of the year will feature a week-
and events matching the show. Much like the original series, the games will take place in diferent settings; Indoor games will happen in the gyms while outdoor activities will take over center court. The environment will be transformed, with decorations and event setups adding to the experience.
Planning for the week has been in the works since the start of the school year. Leadership student Sofa Kwan (12) expressed her excitement with the upcoming rally. “Squid Game is a show that will constantly keep you on your toes and is universally enjoyed by many. We want to share the thrill of the show with everyone so that we can end the year on a fun note.” Kwan also shared that “We’ve been planning
new season came out.”
In order to make the games more exciting, all Mills students will be participating. “Every student, every part of Squid Game at Mills High School,” Ms. Dove said defnitively. Students who would prefer not to compete will have the opportunity to opt out by flling out a form.
While the full list of events remain confdential, it is hinted that the games will be a mix of iconic challenges from season 1 as well as some new games from season 2.
As the excitement builds, leadership students are eagerly wait
ing to host and reveal the event and games. Whether it’s through strategic thinking, quick refexes, or determination, the Mills version of Squid Games promises to be a memorable and thrilling conclusion to the school year that will leave everyone talking for months. As the week approaches, students can prepare by showing of and sharpening their skills or choosing to support their friends.
“Well, we’ve been collecting funds specifcally for this purpose. So it’s a big prize pot,” Ms. Dove said, adding even more motivation to the competition.*
The Year of Chalamet:
Catch him in every movie ever!
Hayden Bunce Staff Writer
If you love Timothee Chalamet or even hate him, you’ll need to be prepared to see him on your big screens until the end of time. It was recently announced that he will star in every movie. Not to be biased, but I’m overjoyed as a Chalastan. This ability to star in every movie comes with technology that can only be created by the smartest mind in the world Rumor has it that since our current president is such a huge fan of the actor, Tesla is creating a time machine that will make
it possible for Timothee Chalamet to star in every movie to exist. However, don’t ask us for any more information other than that the time machine is being created because apparently, our pea-sized brains aren’t intelligent enough to understand this time machine technology. With this news coming out, there is excitement among other Chalastans throughout the school. With this announcement, I had to ask the biggest Timothee Chalamet fan her thoughts on this news, and no it’s not Club Chalamet. Freshman Suri Ronstein had a lot to say about this, “I’m so excited, I feel that
this is like this is his true breakthrough and like he just deserves the recog nition that he’s getting.” Considering she is married to Timothee (move over Kylie) she has a lot to say about him as the world’s biggest Chalastan. De spite my excitement, I’m worried about other ac tors like Ai-drien Brody. If as a society we put all our focus on a singular actor what happens to the other talented actors who don’t get that moment to shine like the dwarves in the new Snow White movie? He couldn’t be a dwarf but they could do the Call Me by Your Name peach scene. With that insight, I hope we remember to focus on the true stars of Hollywood like Ai-drien Brody. I can’t wait to see what this Tesla movie time machine has in store for Timothee Chalamet. I would person-
ally just
love to see his take on Humphrey Bogart’s character in Casablancas. Like Suri or Club Chalamet, I hope you are excited to see the Chalatakeover.*
