MILLESIMAL JUNE 2023 (PART 2)

MILLESIMAL

June

Celebrating the love of two beautiful souls

NICK & SAYANTIKA

Editor’s Note

Our mission is to empower and inspire our readers through thoughtprovoking, informative and engaging content. We strive to create a magazine that celebrates diversity, creativity, and innovation, while encouraging readers to explore new ideas and perspectives. Our goal is to provide a platform for voices and stories that are often overlooked or underrepresented in mainstream media, and to foster a community that values empathy, respect, and inclusivity. By sharing stories of courage, passion, and resilience, we aim to inspire our readers to live their best lives and make a positive impact on the world around them.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank our readers for their continued support and feedback, which helps us to improve and grow as a publication. We are committed to delivering highquality content that reflects the diverse interests and perspectives of our audience. As always, we welcome your comments and suggestions, so please don't hesitate to reach out to us with your feedback.

Editor-in-Chief SEJAL AGGARWAL

"Yourwindowto aworldof inspiration."

What an incredible and inspiring journey of love and resilience! Nick and Sayantika's story is a testament to the unpredictable and beautiful ways in which life can unfold. From starting as enemies to becoming friends and eventually soulmates, they have defied all odds and stereotypes. Their fully filmy love story, rooted in their shared passion for Bollywood, led them to create a platform that celebrates their love and normalizes the narrative of lesbian relationships. Despite facing hate and discrimination, they stand strong together, breaking societal norms and proving that love knows no boundaries. Their mantra of "Team NiSa" encapsulates the unwavering support and strength they find in each other, facing challenges head-on and conquering them as a united force. Nick and Sayantika's journey is a reminder that love triumphs over hate and that true partnership knows no gender. Their story is an inspiration to all, urging us to embrace love in all its forms and celebrate the power of unity and resilience. Keep shining, Team NiSa!

Picture Courtesy: Anjana Kashyap

We actually started off as enemies. It was hate at first sight and not love at first sight. Jaani Dushman to Jaaneman!

Our fully filmy love story began in 2017, before we even met!

There was a random rumor that was doing the rounds in the community that we were “Dating” , and at this point we had not even spoken to each other nor had we met. Nick was in Mumbai at this time and I (Sayantika) was in Bangalore. We both kinda blamed each other for the rumor.

And when we finally met it was “hate at first sight” , we got off on a bad note. We already had preconceived assumptions about each other and when we met we hated each other immediately.

But the universe clearly has a sense of humor, Because skip to 2yrs later, we actually became friends. In these two years we kept bumping into each other at parties and events but never really spoke to each other properly.

In 2019, We met again at an LBT cricket match and we had a proper conversation for the first time. There we were, sipping Sulemani chai by the roadside, talking and laughing our heads off. That was the beginning of our friendship and in classic SRK pyaar dosti hai style our friendship grew into love.

Picture Courtesy: Anjana Kashyap

Once we were hanging out with a bunch of friends and dancing to Bollywood songs and “Chaya Chaya” started playing and we started dancing to that song together. It was this impromptu performance that looked like it was choreographed because we were so in sync.

We are both very filmy and that’s why even the instagram bio of our couple page says “Fully filmy Lesbian Couple”.

In Fact that’s one of the reasons we started our couple page @nick_and_sayantika on Instagram. Even though we both loved Bollywood, while growing up we never got to see a couple like us in movies or media. Just seeing two women in love

Being in a relationship and leading a life together is something that we never saw growing up. And that's just what we wanted to put out. So we decided to create content for the queer love representation that the 16 year old Nick and Sayantika wanted but never had. We started our couple page last year itself where we started talking about our lives as a lesbian couple to normalize the narrative of lesbian love and create awareness.

We have also received a lot of love and support not just from the LGBT+ community but also straight allies, but as a Lesbian couple, there are still times that people hurl hate and discrimination at us, even on insta DMs. Just because they can't wrap their head around the fact that two women could be in love with each other romantically and be whole in a relationship without needing a man.

Picture Courtesy: Anjana Kashyap

We are two women and we are in love and we are very well managing our family, our house, our work and everything. We are a family together, i think that's one of the biggest misconceptions that people have, that a family, like a couple, is a man and a woman. That's the requisite that a woman is somehow not complete without another man in the equation. I think that's one of the biggest stereotypes that we are breaking.

I think just by being a lesbian couple, there is a lot of misconception on who will do the stereotypical manly jobs, let's say fixing a light bulb or filing the taxes and things like that. People seem to ask us a lot: who wears the pants in the relationship? Who's the man in the relationship?

This is a very typical stereotype about lesbian relationships, that somebody is the man in the relationship. But that's the thing. There's no man in the relationship, that is the whole point of us being lesbians.

We both wear the pants in our relationship because we divide our chores, we do things based purely on like Who can do what? I think we're pretty much breaking that stereotype and we do it on our own.

Picture Courtesy: Anjana Kashyap

We call each other our P-I-Ls you know, which is Partner-in-life. We are a team. We call ourselves Team NiSa ( Ni for Nick and Sa for Sayantika) and everytime something challenging comes up we say “ We are Team NiSa , we got this”. It's because we know as long as we are together we can take on anything.

That's what we always see that that's what team Nisa is like. So we'll say we are Team Nisa, which is Nick and Sayantika. So we actually see it like it's some sort of a mantra for us, whenever we are faced with some difficulty or challenge we'd say OK, we are team Nisa, we got this. it's this feeling that as long as we are together, as long as we are with each other, we can face everything.

Picture Courtesy: Anjana Kashyap

We can take on anything and everything and just like come out of it and I think that's the best feeling to have with somebody when they're not just your girlfriend or boyfriend or partner. They're, truly your partner in life.

That's what we call each other. We call each other our P-I-L-s, you know, which is partner in life. We're truly partner in life. We're a team. Yeah, Team Nisa.

Picture Courtesy: Anjana Kashyap

ARE YOU A CLOSET RECLUSE?

WRITTEN BY: STAFF WRITER

Have you ever wondered why you can’t wait to get away from the party, go home and put your feet up alone? A highly unusual new book by Welsh/Australian author Tony Matthews delves deeply into the persona of the solitudinous introvert, recluse and vegan and reveals the true character of those who prefer to remain steadfastly in the background, quietly observing the world generally but rarely taking part in it. Invisible, the Essential Guide for Aliens Stranded on Earth, is a frank and, at times, intensely funny examination of what it’s like to be a quiet introvert in a world that generally likes to party loudly and excessively.

As a boy, and right through his entire life, Tony Matthews has craved anonymity and invisibility — a state of being that is not only well beyond the laws of physics as we know them but also one largely at odds with his chosen profession of novelist and historian which often requires significant media and public exposure.

In this brightly humorous and exquisitely insightful account of his strange life, Tony Matthews takes his readers on a mystical journey through the highly unusual world of ‘Invisible Man’.

Reflecting his own young confusion, Tony questions why, as a boy, he appeared to be a round doughnut irrevocably stranded in a square biscuit-tin. His quest for understanding takes him on a roller-coaster ride until he realises finally that he is about as comfortable on Earth as a crocodile in a handbag factory.

As a young lad, Tony, or Anthony, as he was then known, spent much of his boyhood alone, wandering the chemically-saturated, coal-dust-tainted hills, swamps and abandoned copper-smelters of 1950s Swansea, South Wales, hiding in old air-raid shelters or bomb ruins or the crumbling World War Two gun emplacements at the base of a rocky island lighthouse situated on a headland, musically called Mumbles, a name which, for some unfathomable reason, immediately conjures up images of Hobbits or dwarfs or possibly little Welsh goblins. All this makes Tony sound as mad as a fruit-fly but in fact he was just a young, tousle-headed boy with a torch, a book, a wobbly-bladed penknife and a slightly different mission in life.

This is a book filled with a precise and edgy observation of life on planet Earth told in a style of wry self-deprecation and vividly expressed good humour. It is also an intensely moving description of a deeply committed vegan life in which Tony describes himself as, ‘An honorary extraterrestrial with a forged hall-pass to Earth’.

The book begins with a look at a young boy’s life as seen through the somewhat distorted prism of a satirical lens. Tony introduces a tapestry of reclusive characters who either shaped or influenced his early life including several rather potty aunts one of whom, apparently, could speak with the dead. Tony also spends periods of his summer vacations in a Stone-age cave where, crawling like a burrowing owl into a narrow tunnel, he quite remarkably discovers the fossilised remains of a million year old pterodactyl.

Among many other aspects of life faced by the typical introvert, Tony also introduces ‘The Zone of Absolute Terror’, otherwise known as the much feared ZAT. This is a place that all introverts have to visit on occasion, usually when starvation eventually drives them out of hiding. Public speaking, dealing with checkout operators or answering the door to salesmen are all classed as major ZATs. Curiously, the author demonstrates that introverted people also make great secret service agents and he tells of how he was once ridiculously headhunted by the C.I.A.

The book not only discusses what it’s like to live as an introvert and recluse but the author also writes about some of the most interesting, weirdest and wackiest recluses in history. Additionally, Tony introduces the reader to one really peculiar set of experiences that has been an integral part of his life for many years — real, verifiable premonitions?

Utilising the tools of incisive humour, Tony strips away the myths and legends surrounding those who embrace a reclusive lifestyle, while at the same time exposing a dysfunctional array of wacky characters and issues.

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR: AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR: TONY MATTHEWS TONY MATTHEWS

I understand that you used a rather strange method to write this book. Can you tell us about that and why the book was written?

I wanted to write this book to assist with people’s understanding of why some of us are introverted, and vegan, and how we manage our lives when almost everyone else in the world seems to be partying continuously and clustering like paperclips to a magnet.

The book was penned using my ‘wobbly-knobbly’ system. In other words it was written entirely in my spare time, at night, when dressed in my pyjamas, seated on a wobbly chair with a laptop perched on my knobbly knees! By the time I’d written over a hundred thousand words my bum, was getting a bit stiff and my knees were wobbling around like Chubby Checker’s.

Introverts and recluses like you, especially if they are also vegan, are often regarded as ‘oddball’. Would you agree with that?

Introverts and especially introverted vegans are destined to be regarded by society generally as being rather odd. However, Invisible takes the ‘odd’ part of that sentence and turns it on its head to reveal aspects of animal rights and reclusiveness that delve into the deepest part of human expression and does so, I hope, with lots of fun and good humour. Invisible is a strange, quirky and satirical look into the life of a reclusive vegan writer. After reading this book, I think that most introverts will be remarking: ‘Thank goodness someone has spoken for us at last.’

Was it difficult for you, as a reclusive introvert, to tell the story about your own private life and the inherent reclusiveness and introversion that have been part of your persona since childhood?

When I was a kid, about as tall as a gopher in a golf-hole, I’d regularly hide in a cupboard under the stairs and pretend that I was the sole survivor left on Earth after a zombie apocalypse. I couldn’t help it. I just liked to be alone. I was drawn to seclusion like a mouse is drawn to cheese-sticks. It’s always been a part of who I am. I wanted to write about that in a frank and honest way but also humorously because I knew that there were loads of introverts and recluses out there who still feel that they are a bit strange because they are so different. Not only did I want to use my words to try to broaden our understanding of what it’s like to live as an introvert in a world that likes to ‘party’ excessively, but I also wanted to let all the introverts know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing odd socks all your life or madly running to the left while everyone else is running to the right. It’s okay to be different. I was a little apprehensive about writing of my private life but realised that if I wanted to ‘connect’ with people on my own level I’d have to expose my inner self to the world.

Your book deals with some heavy subjects — veganism, animal rights, ethics, climate change, introversion and seclusion, but you treat them all lightly. Was that a structural and deliberate literary approach?

Actually I didn’t have any kind of ‘structure’ in mind when I began the book. I should add that the book had its genesis while I was seated in a shopping mall trying to remain camouflaged against a backdrop of potted plants. I saw a few peculiar things that day, especially at the butcher’s counter, and being a lifelong student of human nature I jotted them down on a few scraps of paper. A few days later I opened my laptop and, using these notes as a base, had soon written almost half a chapter, and as the scenes I’d witnessed had been funny, it naturally followed that the chapter would also be humorous. I found that I was able to use satirical humour to lighten the mood when presenting some fairly serious stuff, and thought that would be far more effective than trying to get my message and story across in a more sombre and fact-filled way. I believe that if you can make people smile or laugh, you’ve also made a friend, and I like to think of all my readers as friends.

As a child you’d spend some of your summer holidays living in a cave in the wilds which, tens of thousands of years ago, had been the home of Neolithic people. Why did you do that?

It was a special place for me. I’d discovered the fossil of a pterodactyl there. I’d had to crawl through a narrow tunnel to find it and the whole experience had been completely mind-boggling because I was fairly sure that I was the first person to see that pterodactyl since Raquel Welch had been there one million years B.C. — dressed in her iconic doe-skin bikini, of course. It was pretty irresistible — the pterodactyl I mean, not Rachel’s bikini, although I have to admit that was really interesting too!

Can you give us an example of one of your more unusual experiences as a reclusive writer?

Well, there are loads in the book, of course, but perhaps one of the more unusual, although this is not in the book, was the time I was asked to become a spy for the African National Congress in South Africa during the Apartheid years. I was in Cape Town at the time and they wanted someone like me who could infiltrate a government department and quietly and unobtrusively blend into the background. I was very much against Apartheid, which is why they asked me in the first place, but I’d also recently spent a brief time working in conjunction with the South African police. During that time I’d had a really profound firsthand experience on how the police dealt with activists and dissenters and therefore I wasn’t too keen on being banged up in some Robben Island prison cell like Nelson Mandela hanging upside-down by my unmentionables.

Did people think that you were a little strange or in any way different when you were a child?

Probably, although I can’t say for sure because I didn’t have a lot to do with people generally. If I wasn’t hiding in an old disused cinema with the ghosts of Errol Flynn or Fatty Arbuckle, I’d be roaming alone at an old lighthouse on a rocky outcrop and hoping that the tide wouldn’t come in too quickly, leaving me stranded. There would have been nothing worse than being perched like a puffin on a rock-ledge all night, especially in winter, because it would have been colder than a brass toilet in the Kremlin.

You’ve been vegan for more than forty-two years, do you miss eating meat and what makes you take on that kind of commitment?

Firstly, I never actually liked eating meat. I put my very first gravy dinner on my head when I was still in a baby-chair and that’s what made my hair impossibly curly at least that’s what my Mum said. Secondly, ethical veganism isn’t a commitment, it’s a natural way of ‘being’ for anyone who understands even the most basic elements of ethics. I was once rather patronisingly told that I’d grow out of being a vegan, but that statement was made by a bling-wearing chap at a TV station where I worked who had once told me rather smugly that he’d taken an I.Q. test and the results had come back negative.

I understand that as a teen you were a Beatles look-alike?

Well, I was a young teenager and it was 1963. Every boy in the U.K. was attempting to emulate John, Paul, George and … well not so much Ringo. It was a complete disaster, of course. Everyone kept tripping over my grotesquely long winkle-pickers and sadly not a single girl had, even for a moment, contemplated throwing her knickers at me, so I hung up my Beatles suit, kicked off the pickers, and went to hide in a cave which was reputed to be haunted by the ghosts of dead miners.

In your book you present the theory that being alone, spending a lot of your time in deep thought, might be responsible for some of the startlingly accurate predictions you’ve made in the past. How does that work?

Actually some of the predictions I’ve made have completely astonished me when they came true. I question all this in the book, of course, and believe that it may be associated with my being alone a lot of the time, deep in thought. Quite recently I had a sudden and powerful flash of the face of Anna Karen, the actor who played ‘Olive’ in the TV series On the Buses. I hadn’t thought about her or the program for decades but the vision was so strong it stopped me in my tracks.

She died that night and we read about it in the news the following day. I also dreamed of the death of John F. Kennedy’s son and his wife in a flying accident about a week or so before it happened. I’ve had loads of predictions like that, and no, I can’t give you the winning lottery ticket numbers for next week.

What advice can you give to people who, like you, lead reclusive, introverted lives?

Well, people who are naturally introverted, and especially those who are vegan and reclusive like me, have probably been on the receiving end of ‘advice’ all their lives and I expect they don’t need any more from me. My book, however, outlines how I have dealt with being an introverted reclusive vegan and animal rights campaigner, and I hope that in discussing my experiences so openly, I’ll be giving others the confidence and strength to continue their own introverted and reclusive lifestyles without having to feel guilt or remorse or any other kind of negative emotion. It’s just okay to be ‘you’ and draw strength from your own individuality and commitment.

I understand that you have always wanted to be virtually invisible — that’s even the title of your book — and as a result you’ve become something of an expert in fading into the background? Tell me about that.

It’s impossible to be invisible but we can be as invisible as possible. I automatically use a whole range of methods to blend into the background — usually very successfully, including my method of keeping meetings as short as possible so that the average introvert can get out of there as quickly as possible, and even how to remain virtually invisible, even when you’re the centre of attention. I do it all the time. It just comes naturally. I’ve even been mistaken for a shop-dummy, which can be a little disconcerting when they’re having an underwear sale, for example.

I explain my crazy methods in my book and they are all effective some even prevent accidents happening at the most inopportune moment such as having one’s bottom sucked into one of those terrifying aircraft vacuum loos at 30,000 feet which, in addition to being a little irritating, would also be somewhat awkward when the captain suddenly announces that seat-belts should now been fastened because there’s turbulence ahead.

Invisible — the Essential Guide for Aliens Stranded on Earth has been published by Big Sky Publishing and is available through all major online book retailers in both printed and e-book form.

WHAT DOES PRIDE MEAN TO YOU?

WRITTEN BY: MELISSA GRIFFITHS

Like most for, me, pride means so different things.

Most would say that it means being proud of who you are and able to freely express yourself in your own unique individual way. That’s what I want pride to mean for me.

Yes being granted the ability to do just that without fear or prejudice is still seems like a privilege for a lot of us when in the LGBTIQA+ community – which makes the concept of pride and it’s associated celebrations a complicated topic.

It’s integral to understand and accept that sexual identity and freedom of selfexpression is still outlawed in some countries it – a fairly harrowing reality to ascertain. It’s this rebuttal of the very human rights that actually enable ‘pride’ that makes pride such an individual experience for all of us in the LGBTIQA+ community – and one that we’re forever passionate about rapidly evolving.

I’d love for pride to mean something joyous and celebratory for all of us, but the reality is for many, it simply can’t be. For a lot of people getting access to medical treatment for gender dysphoria for their children in some states in the USA is not possible as it has outlawed. In other countries like Uganda homosexuality is being banned

forward together. Forward and further into a world of united acceptance where tolerance for those who are unfamiliar to you, isn’t a topic up for debate – it is just what it is.

So why can’t we accept people as they are? Maybe it is because some people are jealous or maybe they just can’t accept people who are happy or maybe they don’t really love themselves. Whatever the case maybe let us just

l b l f h h d k l d h l h l

This concept of acceptance changes as we look inward from many countries around the globe As an outsider, I sense that at times, the LGBTQIA+ community in India where may feel quite isolated at times.

So it is great to see from afar trailblazers of recent times such as Padma Lakshmi became Kerala’s first transgender woman lawyer in 2021 in India. Also, when you see Tashnuva Anan Shishir a transgender woman reading the news in Bangladesh it does give some hope that the world is changing. Its’ quite clear that so much progress as been made in this area and no doubt as the movement continues, the simplification of the concept ‘pride’ will be closer to the norm for all in your community.

India, like Australia and other countries, needs to be part of that movement of creating a inclusive world for everyone. Perhaps for some, still still seems an impossible dream or one that will take decades to achieve. However if we continue to build a strong sense of pride within ourselvesas a human race - then at least we can fight for a better world.

We can also can continue the good fight for better human rights not only for the LGBTIQA+ plus community but for everyone. So, this month as we move forwards during pride month, let us reflect on ways which we can make individual contributions towards change.

People like Brenda Appleton who create change by advocating for birth certificate reform in Victoria, Australia so now you can change your gender on your birth certificate without surgery. Marsha Johnson was a transgender woman in USA who was a powerful advocate and AIDS activist If we’re all accountable for ensuring these individual contributions, we will reach the end goal of pride being a more open and honest celebration for all much more quickly.

Although, it’s far from perfect, I’ve seen Australia slowly change over the past few years particularly when it comes to trans rights and as a transgender woman, this is incredibly important to me and others like me.There is still a one way to go and I really hope I’m able to enjoy crossing over to the other side of such compassion and kindness during my lifetime.

I believe it is important that we continue to educate as many people as possible and raise our voices so that more people hear us and are able to learn and grow from our stories. It is only through the power of sharing our stories and our experiences that we can powerfully influence society for the better.

That is really want pride means and will continue to mean for me.

If we continue to persevere and overcome – regardless of any obstacles that we face to ensure that our stories are heard then we will grow and undoubtedly remain strong voices. Harnessing the strength to remain true to your strong voice - no matter who you represent in the LGBTIQA+ community means that you are daring greatly to make a difference. Your strong voice will also represent others who aren’t able to speak up as freely.

Let’s make this Pride Month a guide for future years when it comes to activism and advocating for those that can’t advocate for themselves.

It takes courage to stand up and speak out but by being the owner of bravery you will be part of a significant time in history. After which time ‘what pride does to me’ will be met with the simplicity of – just being myself – as it always could have been.

WRITTEN BY: FEMINIST.ADITYA

10 Tips to Improve How You Feel About Your Body

BY: DR EMMA BLACK

Many women have difficulty with their bodies and often feel negatively about their appearance, particularly their size, weight, or shape. Body dissatisfaction and body image problems are thought to arise from the Western cultural ideal that prizes slimmer bodies (called the ‘Thin-Ideal’). As bodies come in all shapes and sizes, many people wind up feeling that their bodies are not ideal and must be changed. Many women believe that if they could change their body by losing weight, they would feel happier- but it’s often not the case. This is because there is a problem with body image rather than a problem with your body itself.

Body image is complex, with many dimensions involved:

It’s how you feel about your body and how you feel living in your body (how you experience your body).

It’s how you think about your body.

It’s how you see and perceive your body.

It’s how you behave towards and react to your body.

These dimensions are often connected. For example, if you feel unhappy about what your body looks like, you can wind up thinking badly of it and ‘feeling fat’. This can affect how you behave towards your body, such as: trying to change it through diet and exercise, monitoring it to see if these changes are working, and avoiding seeing other people on days when you are particularly unhappy with your body. Body behaviours are also linked to negative thoughts, for example, ‘Who could ever love someone who looks like me?’.

Changing what your body looks like doesn’t change your body image (thoughts, feelings, behaviours, perceptions, and experiences of your body), so people can remain unhappy with their bodies even after losing weight. So, if losing weight isn’t the answer, what is?

It’s working from the inside-out and loosening to attachment to the unrealistic 'Thin-Ideal', and changing how you engage with your body. This can involve the following:

Engage in positive and caring behaviours towards your body, such as applying beautiful shower scrubs and lotions on your body. Try doing this mindfully to experience how this feels for your body.

It’s taking the time to think about and notice parts of your body that you like, or that feel more neutral. (Do you dislike your eyes, hands, ears, or other sensory body parts as much as other ones like your stomach?). When thinking about how much you dislike your body, shift your focus to these more neutral or positive parts instead. Cultivate a focus on the parts you like or can tolerate.

Take care of your body. Feed it. Get enough sleep. Drop trying to change it- this maintains your unhappiness with your body

Remember times when you have felt good inside your body and when you’ve had fun using it.

Focus less on hating your body or avoiding it out of fear. Drop the checking and monitoring of your weight. Avoid the comparisons to others (and yes, you’ll likely need to do social media differently or not at all for this). Remind yourself that media images are often heavily edited and photoshopped. Live your life, rather than putting this on hold until your body is thinner. See friends. Go to the beach. Eat out. Explore places and have adventures.

Appreciate what your body can do (rather than what it looks like). You can walk around in it, work, and more. Make a list of the things that your body has done which you appreciate.

Consider what your goals for the future are. What would you like to achieve in five years' time? What do you need to do to achieve these? And consider whether negatively focusing on your body takes you towards these goals or away from them.

Notice parts of your personality and social relationships that have nothing to do with what you look like. What are some of your traits? Do your friends and family still spend time with you and enjoy your company, regardless of what your body looks like? What do you bring to your friendships?

Manage your media and social media use. Are you often exposed to images that you lead to feeling unhappy with your body or comparing yourself against unrealistic bodies? Try to reduce your exposure by cleaning up what is in your feed or limiting your time scrolling.

THANK YOU FOR READING