Lord of The Flies Descriptive Writing Portfolio
Miggy Habos
Descriptive Writing Analysis:
*Lord of The Flies Chapter 1 The Sound Of The Shell Page 7 Description:
Here the beach was interrupted abruptly by the square motif of the landscape; a great platform of pink granite thrust up uncompromisingly through forest and terrace and sand and lagoon to make a raised jetty four feet high. The top of this was covered with a thin layer of soil and coarse grass and shaded with young palm trees. There was not enough soil for them to grow to any height and when they reached perhaps twenty feet they fell and dried forming a criss cross pattern of trunks, very convenient to sit on. The palms that still stood made a green roof, covered on the underside with a quivering tangle of reflections from the lagoon.
Lord of The Flies Chapter 1 The Sound Of The Shell Page 7 Description Table #
Question
Answer
1
What is the subject of the description?
The description is talking about an island setting.
2
What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?
Some aspects of the subject the author has shown is the life in an island and as well as this description seems to be one of a typical island
3
How does this impact on the way I see the subject in my imagination?
The description`s impact in the way I see it in my imagination is that I see the subject as an abrupt visit to an island as if the viewpoint is one that the island is seen in a “haven`t been there” perspective.
4
What images does the author use throughout the piece?
The author uses the image of height in the description often. This is shown by phrases such as “great platform of pink granite” or “jetty four feet high” as well as reached “perhaps twenty feet”
5
What dominant impressions do the techniques develop?
The dominant impression throughout the context is the feeling of a poor start as the island seems to develop, only not to be able to reach its limit.
Lord of The Flies Chapter 1 The Sound Of The Shell Page 7 Description Table #
Question
Answer
6
What unique observations has the author made?
Some of the unique observations made by the author include the “typical” island view in the authors portrayal with the phrase “when they reached perhaps twenty feet they fell” showing links to a real tree in an island.
7
List some strong verbs and vocabulary used?
motif, granite, thrust, jetty, coarse and quivering
8
What senses has the author touched in this description?
The author has brought visual imagery in sizes in particular with reference to height through the description as well as the settings appearance in general.
Passage Analysis: Through the passage the author has made the unique observation of a wide setting being the typical first encounter of the island. An interesting phrase used by the author “not enough soil for them to grow to any height and when they reached perhaps twenty feet they fell” does show that the island does not look to survive long with that description. Also words such as jetty or quivering to describe the objects in the setting do have some impact towards the development of the dominant impression as because they bring up the setting, but to some extent do contrast with the dominant impression because although the dominant impression is that of a new island, the phrase “palms that still stood made a green roof, covered on the underside with a quivering tangle of reflections” can bring a link towards the experiences of the island while the dominant impression is the first view of an island. The way the author has brought visual imagery in the context is that words such as “pink granite”, “palm terrace” and “green roof” as well as the phrase “thin layer of soil and coarse grass and shaded with young palm trees” do show that the author is talking about an outdoor area in the description.
*Lord of The Flies Chapter 3 Huts on the beach Page 49 Description:
Jack was bent double. He was down like a sprinter, his nose only a few inches from the humid earth. The tree trunks and creepers that festooned them lost themselves in a green dusk thirty feet above him; and all about was the undergrowth. There was only the faintest indication of a trail here; a cracked twig and what might be the impression of one side of a hoof. He lowered his chin, stared at the traces as though he would force them to speak to him. Then dog-like, uncomfortably on all fours yet unheeding his discomfort, he stole forward five yards and stopped. Here was a loop of creeper with a tendril pendant from a node. The tendril was polished on the underside; pigs, passing through the loop, brushed it with their bristly hide.
Lord of The Flies Chapter 3 Huts on the beach Page 49 Description Table #
Question
Answer
1
What is the subject of the description?
This description is talking about Jack giving an insight to his character
2
What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?
The author shows links with a Jack being portrayed with animal characteristics.
3
How does this impact on the way I see the subject in my imagination?
The impact on the way I see the subject is that while the setting is described to be of a bad feeling, Jack`s description gives a neutral animal viewpoint on him
4
What images does the author use throughout the piece?
The images uses animal related imagery through phrases such as “stared at the traces” and “unheeding his discomfort” show the idea of animal portrayal
5
What dominant impressions do the techniques develop?
The dominant impression is that Jack is “doglike”
Lord of The Flies Chapter 3 Huts on the beach Page 49 Description Table #
Question
Answer
6
What unique observations has the author made?
The author has made an observation regarding on a typical forest setting only through the viewpoint and focus on a “dog-like” characters perspective.
7
List some strong verbs and vocabulary used?
festooned ,dusk faintest, hoof, unheeding, creeper, tendril, pendant, node and bristly.
8
What senses has the author touched in this description?
The author has touched sensual imagery in particular as he is giving the feeling
Passage Analysis: This passage is a description on Jack with a perspective of him being dog-like as the dominant impression of the description is Jack being dog-like. The way the dominant impression is brought out is that phrases such as “stared at the traces” and “unheeding his discomfort” do bring out the idea of Jack in resemblance with a dog. These phrases can also link to a sensual imagery as it gives the feeling of Jack as if he were a dog and that the visual imagery associated in the passage is his appearance in contrast to his feeling as a “dog-like” person. Some effective use of language was particularly with the adjectives use as the adjectives portrayed a dark sinister setting giving a negative atmosphere while Jack`s dog like appearance gave a neutral feeling, though the use of a dark atmosphere in the description through adjectives imply that Jack`s dog like transformation may actually be something of bad consequence. Also the word choice does make the neutral view sided dominant impression make it clear whether this “transformation” in the dominant impression is a good or bad thing. The image of darkness and suspicion is used frequently through words such as “dusk” or “festooned” and as mentioned before they give a negative atmosphere, but may indicate the writer does not wan`t the description to give away too many details while giving the key points to make the description easy to visualize.
*Lord of The Flies Chapter 5 Beast From Water Page 82 Description:
The tide was coming in and there was only a narrow strip of the firm beach between the water and the white stumbling stuff near the palm terrace. Ralph chose the firm strip as a path because he needed to think; and only here could he allow his feet to move without watching them. Suddenly pacing by the water he was overcome with astonishment. He found himself understanding the wearisomeness of this life where every path was improvisation and a considerable part of one`s walking life was spent on watching one`s feet. He stopped, facing the strip; and remembering that first enthusiastic exploration as though it were part of a brighter childhood, he smiled jeeringly. He turned then and walked back towards the platform with the sun in his face. Lord of The Flies Chapter 5 Beast From Water Page 82 Description Table #
Question
Answer
1
What is the subject of the description?
The subject is basically a viewpoint on a trip into the island the island for days as wearisomeness and a sense of direction implies that Ralph knows the island.
2
What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?
The narrow strip of the beach and the limits of the world. A sense of experience as memories of childhood are being merged into the current situation on the island
3
How does this impact on the way I see the subject in my imagination?
The impact on the way I see the subject in my imagination is that it allows me to picture the island in a way that there are many views and that there is the feeling of confusion and tiresome feeling.
4
What images does the author use throughout the piece?
The author uses the image of a wide island as the word “strip� is used often in the passage implying that the word strip is significant to the image and length of feeling in the island.
Lord of The Flies Chapter 5 Beast From Water Page 82 Description Table #
Question
Answer
5
What dominant impressions do the techniques develop?
I think the dominant impression of the passage is the feeling of confusion. This is because phrases and words such as “needed to think” or “improvisation” and “a considerable part of one`s walking life” do try to build this idea that the feeling in the island is confusing
6
What unique observations has the author made?
Some of the unique observations that the author has made are the wearisomeness of life, a brighter childhood as well as the phrase sun in front of your of your face regarding to seeing the sun or the setting in daytime.
7
List some strong verbs and vocabulary used?
narrow, stumbling, astonishment, wearisomeness, enthusiastic exploration and jeeringly.
8
What senses has the author touched in this description?
Visual in the start mentioning “narrow strip of the firm beach” as well as sensual as the phrase “understanding the wearisomeness of this life” shows a feeling of being tired in the island.
Passage Analysis: I think the dominant impression of the passage is the feeling of confusion. This is because phrases and words such as “needed to think” or “improvisation” and “a considerable part of one`s walking life” do try to build this idea that the feeling in the island is confusing. What the writer has done in order to make this passage effective is that the writer did use phrases such as “narrow strip of the firm beach” or “white stumbling stuff “ and “understanding the wearisomeness of this life where every path was improvisation” as well as the phrase “he turned then and walked back towards the platform with the sun in his face” do show that the author is bring visual and sensual imagery to this description and at times, the author brings the dominant impression of confusion and tiresomeness throughout the context as he mentions the wearisomeness of life in a way that makes it significant and visible in the description. The impact it has on the way I see the beach and picture a life there is that the word
narrow strip of the firm beach shows it as a landscape view, as well as the fact that the island is not that large or significant if you are to compare it with other islands.
*Lord of The Flies Chapter 7 Shadows and Tall Trees Page 129 Description:
Once more Ralph dreamed, letting his skillful feet deal with the difficulties of the path. Yet here his feet seemed less skillful than before. For most of the way they were forced right down to the bare rock by the water and had to edge along between that and the dark luxuriance of the forest. These were little cliffs to be scaled, some to be used as paths, lengthy traverses where one used hands as well as feet. Here and there they could chamber over wave-wet rock, leaping across clear pools that the tide had left. They came to a gully that split the narrow foreshore like a defense. This seemed to have no bottom and they peered awe-stricken into the gloomy crack where water gurgled. Then the wave came back, the gully boiled before them and sprayed dashed up to the very creeper where water gurgled.
Lord of The Flies Chapter 7 Shadows and Tall Trees Page 129 Description: #
Question
Answer
1
What is the subject of the description?
The subject of this description is seems to a description of an island in a complex thinking and traveling perspective.
2
What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?
Some of the aspects of the subject that the writer is trying to show to the reader the size of an island in proportion to what could be done in the island.
3
How does this impact on the way I see the subject in my imagination?
The impact of this description is that it puts me to be a part of this experience only to see what the writer is really referring to. Also this gives me a view of a mountain terrain.
4
What images does the author use throughout the piece?
The author uses the image of a mountain like scene using words such as “little cliffs”, “wet rock” as well as “gully” to bring the mountain atmosphere.
Lord of The Flies Chapter 7 Shadows and Tall Trees Page 129 Description: #
Question
Answer
5
What dominant impressions do the techniques develop?
The dominant impression that the technique develops is the feeling of significant thinking as well as cornering. This is because phrases such as “forced right down to the bare rock” give a feeling of a tough decision.
6
What unique observations has the author made?
The author has made the unique observation of the feelings that one may obtain when pitted with tough decisions as well as the observation of a gully in contrast the settings overall calm mood.
7
List some strong verbs and vocabulary used?
bare, luxuriance, traverses, chamber, gully, foreshore, peered, gloomy, gurgled, gully, sprayed, gurgled.
8
What senses has the author touched in this description?
Some of the senses the author has tried to touch through the description are sensual imagery through the feeling of worry as well as visual imagery to give the islands appearance.
Passage Analysis: From reading this passage, the author makes it clear that the dominant impression is being cornered and that this is taking place in a mountain as there is some reflection to what is to be done with the phrase “For most of the way they were forced right down to the bare rock by the water” which does imply that the situation does not look good and is going to a limit. The way the author has used the unusual phrase “dark luxuriance” is that this phrase is being used in a way that the setting is of a marvelous and significant view, but considering being in a tough situation, the word dark implies that this luxuriance is what takes virtually takes away the worry, but rather reflects on the true nature of the context as the luxuriance is being used to describe the setting. Also the way the author has touched the senses is that the author has brought the feeling of wide setting using the phrase “These were little cliffs to be scaled, some to be used as paths, lengthy traverses” which did show the significance of the island through the writers word choice and comparison. The use of
imagery and comparison for the language by the author is what allows the reader to have a visual idea and can related to experiences or sights of something similar to make this mountain area sound as a real place.
Re-Written Passages:
*Lord of The Flies Chapter 1 The Sound Of The Shell Page 7 Original Description:
Here the beach was interrupted abruptly by the square motif of the landscape; a great platform of pink granite thrust up uncompromisingly through forest and terrace and sand and lagoon to make a raised jetty four feet high. The top of this was covered with a thin layer of soil and coarse grass and shaded with young palm trees. There was not enough soil for them to grow to any height and when they reached perhaps twenty feet they fell and dried forming a criss cross pattern of trunks, very convenient to sit on. The palms that still stood made a green roof, covered on the underside with a quivering tangle of reflections from the lagoon.
Lord of The Flies Chapter 1 The Sound Of The Shell Page 7 New Description:
The jungle was what seemed to be an all familiar landscape to go back for recall memories that have faded in the lush greenery. A great wooden dais at the jungle`s center along with the recognizable maroon twigs that clung onto the trees edge as if it were trapped there. Through jungle forest laid a coconut tree slanted like that of a surfboard in a beach only with the branches and roots in knots raised six feet above ground. The top of the unusual coconut tree did have a nostalgic feeling, yet was covered with an unusual thin layer of soil and coarse grass but shaded away the small lily pads floating about. The jungle rich in soil and lush greenery allowed three to four coconuts to grow at the trees and the trees can possibly reach thirty feet within a months period with the energy of an growing athlete brimming with energy. Though it seemed good that the trees grew tall healthy and lived long along with the coconuts, there was this inconvenience of not being able to collect coconut or sit in the uncomfortable jagged branches of the tree. The palms of the tree were in a formation that dominantly shaded the other plants below like an umbrella but leaving a dim light and reflection below it.
Rationalization: With the change in the dominant impression, the original passage shows a new experience and an environment where the flora and fauna of the setting won`t survive. From re-writing the passage, I changed the dominant impression of the island being new to the island being something familiar and nostalgic. Also I have used phrases such as “rich in soil” and “long living” to indicate that the island is a last long compared to the original description. I have also used the words familiar and nostalgic to describe the jungle as if it is not a surprise or the first encounter, but in a way that this description is one of a trip back to the jungle. I have also chosen to use a jungle rather that a beach for for the setting because I think that the “lively” and “brimming with more energy” atmosphere will be more visible in the description if I picked the setting in something that has a more lush greenery and nature compared to the beach.
*Lord of The Flies Chapter 5 Beast From Water Page 82 Original Description:
The tide was coming in and there was only a narrow strip of the firm beach between the water and the white stumbling stuff near the palm terrace. Ralph chose the firm strip as a path because he needed to think; and only here could he allow his feet to move without watching them. Suddenly pacing by the water he was overcome with astonishment. He found himself understanding the wearisomeness of this life where every path was improvisation and a considerable part of one`s walking life was spent on watching one`s feet.He stopped, facing the strip; and remembering that first enthusiastic exploration as though it were part of a brighter childhood, he smiled jeeringly. He turned then and walked back towards the platform with the sun in his face.
Chapter 5 Beast From Water Page 82 New Description:
The tide came in as a rush of water droplets and through the wide endless view of the vast beach between the bottomless abyss and the white fluffy clouds near the jagged palm tree at the edge of the view. The visible wide strips of sea and sky scattered all over the island, and the sight of the strips and sky was an indication that of many routes, and only through this thought should consideration of the vast land allow anyone to move without notice of the illusive setting. From pacing by the grains of sand was to overcome the marvel with a sense of clarity. Visualizing the wearisomeness of a life where every path seemed similarities and a considerable part of the vast timeless life was spent on understanding how to use a life. Stopping towards the small dust scatterings of life around the island, along with the faded memories of the island that kept slipping as time raced towards the end using the memory as a stepping stone to shove the memory to its empty future. From turning and ascending towards grants the light bulb of a future without the past.
Rationalization:
The change that I have made through the dominant impression is that as shown in the original passage is a feeling of limit as words such as narrow have been used frequently in the description and as well as a reflection of the past was looked on through the end of the description. From re-writing the passage, I changed the dominant impression of the island being of limit to the island being a vast land with no limits, using words like scatterings to show give a spread out impression. I also mentioned of an empty past at the end and refrained from using many past tense words as to avoid brining a reflection, but some future tense words are used to bring this idea of looking through the endless view of the island in proportion to looking at the many possible glimpses of the future without any consideration of the past