Cary Living Magazine

N OV E M B E R | D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 5

Holiday

Gift Guide Page 29

STRESS-FREE entertaining 34

Healthy holidays 42

Handmade holiday gifts 56

publisher

a n o t e from the

Publisher/EDITOR Sioux Watson Advertising Sales Kathleen Moran | Charis Painter | Sioux Watson Michelle Palladino | Ashley Carter

Waking up to frost on the lawn means fall, and chilly mornings become the norm, although in North Carolina, sunny and warm days will continue on through winter days. Family traditions with outdoor activities on Thanksgiving Day leave memories of both warm and miserable outside playtime with your friends and family.

Likewise for New Year’s Day, when my crew often takes to the nearby park for a game of croquet. Some years it’s sunglasses and t-shirts and others it’s football on TV, as there’s snow outside.

Whatever the weather, be sure to check out our calendar of activities and enjoy your fall to the maximum, whether you’re indoors at events or outdoors in the fine North Carolina sunshine! How about a trip to Morrisville, just down the road? Check out this issue’s installment of the Hidden Gems of Morrisville if you need any excuses to head on over.

Holiday entertaining planning is upon us; in an effort to assist, we’ve put together ideas and shortcuts to keep your house looking and smelling good with your feet up. Our stree free entertainment section is brimming with tools to keep everyone enjoying

themselves for the next few weeks.

Did you know there are concierge services that will run errands for you, or even decorate your tree? And don’t forget the food: we’ve got you covered, whether you decide to hire a catering service for foolproof entertaining, have a partial catering solution by buying handmade holiday desserts from local Cary purveyors, or want to cook the whole thing yourself and serving only healthy choices.

Jenni Hart has advice for dealing with in-laws and extended relatives over the turkey and stuffing, and Corbie Hill explains how the strategy of not drinking during the holidays worked for him. I humbly offer my homemade holiday gift ideas from the kitchen (make my special cookies and take a photo, and we’ll share them on our Facebook page), and why the gift of an “experience” might be the perfect option. Our local merchant gift guide catalogue should stir up the imagination for anyone one your list – whether it be gift certificates or specialty gift items, we’ve got it all this issue!

November and December means letters from worthy charities looking for end-of-year support via donations. Read up on some local groups that could use your support – by giving time or money – for those looking to get involved.

Sioux Sioux Watson Publisher/Editor

Your opinions matter to us. Let us know what you think of this issue of Cary Living.

Please email sioux@caryliving.com with your comments.

Creative Director Travis Aptt Graphic Design Jennifer Heinser | Lori Lay Contributing Writers Dan Bain | Jenni Hart | Carol Wills Dave Droschak | Corbie Hill | Julie Johnson Carla Turchetti | Adam Sobsey Heather Mallory Photographers Davies Photography | Rob Kinnan Photography Distribution manager Joe Lizana

Cary Living is published six times annually. Any reproduction in part or in whole of any part of this publication is prohibited without the express written consent of the publisher.

Cary Living is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts, photography or art. Unsolicited material is welcome and is considered intended for publication. Such material will become the property of the magazine and will be subject to editing.

Material will be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Cary Living will not knowingly accept any real estate advertising in violation of US equal opportunity law.

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CARYLIVING

NO V E M B E R | DE CE M B E R 2 0 1 5

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features 29 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE We’ve got you covered for every hard-to-buy-for friend and family member you may have.

34 StreSS-Free Entertaining Get someone else to cook! Or clean, for that matter!

42 Healthy HOlidays Make just a few healthier choices this season and see the difference.

48 Family Holidays With changing family landscapes, we have some tips on compromising with your crew.

52 Giving an Experience Forget about the traditional gift, and start thinking about giving memories instead.

52 departments

56 Handmade Holiday Recipes Twists on some favorites, including a new take on gingerbread men that will surely be the talk of your next holiday party.

08 | Raising the Bar

58 Disappearing Gifts Let’s raise a glass to those obsolete presents.

18 | Wine Review

60 Giving Back to Cary Let’s reciprocate the love.

64 Hidden Gems: morrisville Morrisville’s population has more than quadrupled in a decade. The thriving suburb is the most diverse in all of Wake County, with offerings as diverse as its residents.

10 | sport Scene 12 | Beer & Barrel 14 | SUNDAY SUPPER 16 | technology Scene 20 | Young Makers 22 | Giving Back 24 | FINANCIAL FOCUS 26 | calendar of events 72 | sightingS

raisingthebar

Youweask

Q

ANSWER

What is improper equipment, and why do people bring it up in relation to speeding tickets?

Brent M., Cary Improper equipment is a nonmoving violation (it carries no DMV or insurance points). Most district attorney’s offices will reduce speeding charges to this offense if the initial speed and the driver’s record meet certain criteria.

Usually a person can ask for this reduction if they were traveling less than 20mph over the speed limit and they have a relatively clean driving record. ~ Steven Saad, Criminal Defense

Three months ago, my wife and I decided it would be best if I move to the basement of our house. I did, and now I’m wondering if we can obtain a divorce in North Carolina.

Kevin D., Apex

lived apart from each other for a full year, as required by North Carolina law. That being the case, it does not appear that you are entitled to an absolute divorce at this time. ~ Emily Goodman , Family Law

No. According to N.C.G.S § 50-6, “marriages may be dissolved…if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year, and the plaintiff or defendant in the suit for divorce has resided in the State for a period of six months.” So, your first major barrier is that you and your wife are not actually separated at this time, as you both still reside at the same address, regardless of the fact that you sleep in the basement.

Secondly, it appears that even if you and your wife lived at different physical addresses, you have not

With a number of states either legalizing or decriminalizing marijuana, are the courts seeing a shift in the way marijuana laws are being policed?

Matt G., Garner North Carolina recently decriminalized the possession of marijuana paraphernalia, but generally there

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MeettheCounsel

Steven Saad

Criminal Defense

8 | caryliving.com

has been no change in the way marijuana crimes have been handled.

In all honesty, we are seeing a larger number of people being charged with serious marijuana crimes in our area. Most notably, the number of people being charged with DWI based on marijuana impairment is steadily increasing. This is despite recent government studies that conclude marijuana impairment to be considerably less dangerous than a .08 breath alcohol content. L ~ Steven Saad

Emily Goodman Family Law

Cranfill Sumner & Hartzog LLP | www.cshlaw.com

This content has been prepared for general information purposes only. This information is not intended to provide specific legal advice.

Legal advice is dependent upon the specific circumstances of each situation. The information provided cannot replace the advice of competent legal counsel by a licensed attorney in your state.

sportscene

A Power Move Triangle Becoming Strongman Stronghold // STORY and photos By DAVID DROSCHACK

THERE’S A POWERFUL MOVEMENT TAKING PLACE TWO nights a week at a Crossfit gym in Morrisville.

It involves 100-pound kegs filled with sand, Hummer tires, makeshift car frames and concrete Atlas stones.

“We always joke around and say ‘it doesn’t matter what it weighs, just pick it up,”’ said Lynn Morehouse.

Morehouse, 35, is the head of the Triangle-based contingent of Train Strongman LCC athletes and a competitor himself. He has been a fan of the World’s Strongest Man competitions on TV for years and decided to get involved as a promoter/coach in 2013, staging local events that have turned into some of the most attended in the country.

The upcoming NC Strength Challenge and NC Super Total is a two-day competition in mid-November at the NC State Fairgrounds that will be the first of its kind in the state.

“I started trying to get back into shape when I turned 30 and I never enjoyed being in the gym,” he said. “I started by just picking up rocks in my yard.”

Morehouse has since lifted a variety of heavy items, including lifting a rock that weighed 410 pounds onto a 48inch platform.

The athletes who train under the direction of Morehouse, whose day job is director of design and development for iContact. in Morrisville, come in all shapes and sizes.

Morehouse, for example, weighs around 235 pounds, but doesn’t really fit the part. He would walk by most on the street without a second glace.

“I’m one of those guys who competitors don’t see 10 | caryliving.com

coming,” he said. “They look at me and say, ‘Oh yeah, THAT guy is going to beat me?’ And I do.”

The strongman competitions are half strength and half technique, which is why athletes such as Morehouse, national champion James Deffinbaugh or Laura Anderson, who finished in the top 10 in her weight class at the 2015 national competition, can win competitions against much more muscular athletes.

“I started about nine years ago after one of my coworkers, who is a big guy, sent out pictures to a whole group of us and said if we wanted to try it out, to stop by his place on a Saturday,” said Diffinbaugh of Raleigh, who won the 2014 middleweight class at nationals. “I had only been going to the gym for a couple of months and wasn’t strong by any means. I even showed up in jeans as an out in case I wanted to leave. I didn’t know what to expect because there are stereotypes about strength athletes. But they got me going right away on keg carries.”

Diffinbaugh describes the atmosphere Morehouse has created as “a good sense of community.”

“My goal when I first started was to look like I belonged,” said the 33-year-old Diffinbaugh. “I never expected to win anything at the national level, so every accomplishment is a big deal for me.”

Morehouse is constantly pushing the envelope with his athletes. At North Carolina’s Strongest Male and Female event in May, part of the female competition was pulling a 17,000-pound moving truck.

“They were all like ‘there is no way we’re going to be able to do it,’ but out of 35 women only two couldn’t do it,” Morehouse said. “They were all just near tears ecstatic because they had done something they didn’t think was possible.”

“That is an event I’ve struggled with,” said 5-foot-7, 140-pound Laura Anderson. “I was having a tough time with the small trucks here in the parking lot. The night before when Lynn said we were moving up to the big truck, I thought I was done for. But I pulled it 60 feet. How do you pull a truck?

There is a lot of technique to it.

We like to say, ‘you don’t just beast mode things.’ It’s really about the angles and what you pull with first.

You get things moving and then you keep Lynn Morehouse began strongman training by picking up rocks in his yard. it going.” L

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beer&barrel Sean Lilly Wilson, founder of Durham’s Fullsteam Brewery, checks the ripening persimmons that add character to the brewery’s winter seasonal, First Frost.

Christmas Beers and Winter Warmers The Surprising Appeal of Beer in the Wintertime // By julie johnson

WHEN THE MERCURY DROPS, BEER MIGHT NOT BE THE first beverage that comes to mind to banish the chill. However, except for a few decades during the last century, special winter beers have long been a feature of the season. In recent years, American craft brewers have revived the tradition, offering a holiday treat for us all.

Winter beers don’t fall under a single style category. But – whether they are called Christmas beers, winter warmers or holiday beers – they usually share a few characteristics. Most are malty and full-bodied; many incorporate the familiar spices or fruits we look for in holiday desserts; and many are potent – sippers, not quaffers.

Among North Carolina craft companies, Carolina Brewery in Chapel Hill was one of the first to create a winter seasonal. In mid-November, head brewer Jon Connolly will offer Santa’s Secret Winter Ale for the 20th time. Connolly, an Englishman, drew on Old World traditions to create a low-hopped beer spiced with a blend of coriander, cinnamon, orange and allspice. “It’s the closest thing to Christmas in a glass,” he claims. It will be available on draft and in four-packs of cans that beg to be taken to a holiday party.

Durham-based Fullsteam Brewery follows its philosophy, “Plow-to-pint beer from the American South,” by incorporating community-harvested persimmons into First Frost, a potent winter warmer at 10% alcohol. The ripe persimmons, which turn from bitter and astringent to sweet 12 | caryliving.com

and luscious only after a frost, give the beer complex fruit notes. Together with the strain of Belgian yeast used to ferment the beer, they are also the sole source of hints of holiday spice in the finished beer. The large-format 22-ounce bottles, available in November, make a great gift.

Winston-Salem is the site of this state’s first brewery, built by Moravian settlers in 1773. So it is fitting that the city’s successful Foothills Brewing models their seasonal Moravian Porter on the beloved Moravian cookie recipe. The rich, dark porter style is a natural vehicle for warming spices. The brewery is Snow Flurry will co-promoting the beer with Salem be released on Baking, maker of Moravian cookies, December 5th and so consider leaving this combination will be available in 12oz six-packs, as for Santa on Christmas Eve. well as on draft

For a contrast, Kinston’s Mother throughout Earth Brewery bases their winter North Carolina. seasonal on the wildly popular and assertively bitter IPA style. Snow Flurry is brewed with rye in addition to barley, which gives a distinctive dry, earthy finish, boosted with the addition of juniper. Look for it at the beginning of December – a perfect counterpoint for holiday turkey if you can save it that long. L

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sundaysupper

Jay Seman, Jimmy V’s Steakhouse and Tavern Executive Chef

Local Roots // By Adam Sobsey // Photography By Rob Kinnan Photography

JAY SEMAN, THE EXECUTIVE CHEF AT JIMMY V’S Steakhouse and Tavern in Cary, is 27 years old. That sounds young for someone with the word “executive” in his job title, but he’s been cooking for half his life and has been working in restaurant kitchens for nearly that long. Professional cooks, like professional athletes, tend to get started young and reach maturity early. By 27, they’re veterans.

Seman’s career began in his home kitchen in Raleigh, where he was raised. “I grew up in a foodie family,” Seman says. “My dad goes to the farmer’s market three times a week.” Seman knew from childhood what it meant to cook locally and seasonally, giving him early training in the essentials of good culinary practices. In the Seman household, he remembers, “It was a team-oriented thing every night for dinner. We never ate out.”

Seman went to North Carolina State University intending to get an engineering degree, but food and 14 | caryliving.com

kitchens kept calling him. “I like to be around a lot of people, in a social setting, when I work,” he says. “I like to solve problems and multitask.” In many ways, running a restaurant kitchen resembles being an engineer: designing and building not only food, but efficient systems to produce it.

Seman switched his major to food science. He did lab work and studied nutrition, and he got involved with Raleigh’s Interfaith Food Shuttle, which both feeds and educates the hungry. He says he might like to do that kind of community food-based work again someday. Although food science was closer to his interests, the professional life he saw in his future seemed too corporate, and too full of clipboards. After he graduated, he gravitated back into kitchens. Seman eventually came to Jimmy V’s, which he describes as “old-school, a romantic setting for a steakhouse: casual but elegant.”

When Executive Chef Steve Zanini left Jimmy V’s

this past June, Seman was the natural choice to assume leadership of the kitchen. Chefs, especially farmers’ market-trained chefs like Seman, tend to be creatively restless, so he had to embrace the peculiar challenge of maintaining an established lineup of steakhouse menu fixtures, precisely the “old-school” dishes that have made Jimmy V’s an institution in Cary. But he does have room to put his own stamp on the food. In September, he added an appetizer of one of his favorite foods, asparagus. It’s wrapped in prosciutto made locally by the artisan ham producer Lady Edison. The dish is served over a goat cheese cream.

We associate asparagus with springtime, and that’s Seman’s favorite time at the market. “You’re getting out of the dead of winter,” he says, and is soon talking of home again. “We always have a big Easter celebration in my family,” Seman says. And during the season of lamb, Seman is sure to enjoy one of his favorite off-the-beatenpath vegetables: ramps, those sharp and earthy wild onions.

When he was asked for a Sunday Supper recipe at the beginning of autumn, it was no surprise that Seman again started thinking seasonally. He talked about the exciting range of produce in North Carolina at that time of year, right between summer and fall: eggplants, peppers and winter squash – a crop that actually arrives here in August, when heirloom tomatoes, those summertime hallmarks, are still bountiful. He likes to cook what is here and now; if he had his own restaurant, he says, the menu would be on a chalkboard. “You’d have a dish until it ran out” – and then you’d make up another one. His stuffed squash recipe partakes of both fall and family, and it partakes of Seman’s home and family. “It was always a favorite growing up.”

ITALIAN SAUSAGESTUFFED SQUASH INGREDIENTS 1 lb 3

2 3 1 Tbsp 2 Tbsp 1/2 cup 1/4 cup 1/4 cup Pinch

Italian sausage medium yellow squash, zucchini or 4 acorn squash* shallots or small yellow onions, finely diced garlic cloves, minced fresh thyme fresh basil shredded mozzarella cheese Parmigiano Reggiano Italian breadcrumbs crushed red pepper

*If using acorn squash, blanch the shell in boiling water prior to stuffing, until the interior is tender.

directions 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cut squash or zucchini in half, lengthwise, or cut off top of

acorn squash. Scoop out insides with a spoon, leaving ¼

inch or more of a shell. Chop up the insides of the squash.

3.

Saute together sausage, shallots, garlic, thyme, crushed red pepper, and the insides of the squash. Cook until sausage is cooked through and squash is soft. Add shredded mozzarella and mix thoroughly.

4. Scoop mixture back into shells and top with Parmigiano

Reggiano and breadcrumbs.

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5. Bake in oven for 15-20 minutes. L

Jimmy V’s Steakhouse and Tavern 107 Edinburgh S. Drive, Cary 919. 380.8210 jimmyvssteakhouse.com

caryliving.com | 15

technologyscene

Propella E-Bike Boosts Speed Rechargeable battery powers motor // By Dan Bain / Photography courtesy of Propella Bikes

PROPELLA ELECTRIC HAS CREATED AN E-BIKE THAT offers motorized help on hills, but stays true to the look and feel of a regular bicycle. The single-speed bike has a minimalistic design and a steel frame that weighs in at less than 35 pounds – lighter than other electric bikes in the market.

The e-bike includes a small rear hub-motor, which the rider activates with a thumb throttle. The further the rider pushes the throttle, the more power the motor gives – up to 19mph (most states in the US have a legal speed limit of 20mph for e-bikes). The motor is powered by a removable, rechargeable battery pack with the same type of Lithiumion cells used in Tesla automobiles. The battery lasts up to 25 miles between charges.

When the rider applies the bike’s brake levers, the motor automatically disengages, allowing the rider to brake manually without having to fight an accelerating 16 | caryliving.com

motor. The bike does not include regenerative braking, as that would require a heavier direct-drive motor. Also, this bike’s geared hub-motor provides higher torque – making it easier to climb city hills.

The Seattle-based startup is trending with millennials looking for an easier commute and a way to reduce carbon emissions. Founder Ben Tarassoli hopes to see his product become more popular due to its design, social impact, and affordability within its class. He believes a good e-bike must first be a good bike, and part of the product’s popularity is due to Propella successfully bridging the gap between the two.

The bike is available in three colors – Matte Black, Anodized Blue and Anodized Red – and three frame sizes, based on the rider’s height. It’s available online only, and Propella is accepting pre-orders for $849 at propellabikes.com. L

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winereview Mascota Vineyards unanime

Governors Bay Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc

93

Daglia Canyon Cabernet Napa

Firebrand Chardonnay

Domaine du Mistral Grignan Les Adhemar

90 Beverage Dynamics

Wine Enthusiast

Mendoza, Argentina

Marlborough, New Zealand

Napa Valley, California

California

Cotes du Rhone, Rhone, France

Deep and lush up front, this blend offers highly appealing aromas of blackberry and toast. Dense, layered and hefty on the palate, this extracted but well-balanced blend piles on blueberry, black plum, cassis and toast...the finish, darker notes of espresso.

Dried apricot and honeysuckle add complexity to the passion and citrus fruit flavors; it possesses a gratifyingly crisp finish that is pure, clean, and just plain delicious.

An excellent wine with depth of color and dark-berry fruit on the nose. More dark berries on the palate and a touch of tobacco and coffee, finished off with mouth-coating tannins.

Full and elegant, promises future pleasure. Pair with roasts and grilled beef.

This full-bodied Chardonnay offers the palate rich and layered vanilla notes complemented with aromas of fresh citrus and tropical notes. Pairs with fish, chicken, pork, pasta and mild cheeses.

Dark color, with aromas of ripe red fruits and licorice. Elegant, supple and beautiful freshness offers smooth tannins and a long fruity finish. Pairs well with red meats.

$24.99/bottle

$11.99/bottle

$18.99/bottle

$9.99/bottle

// By KEVIN GORDON, wine manager total wine & more, Crossroads Shopping Center 18 | caryliving.com

$9.99/bottle

caryliving.com | 19

youngmakers

Jawdropping Success Silverio Tees It up with trend-setting tees and tanks // Story and photos By DAVE DROSCHAK

BEFORE HER 21ST BIRTHDAY, ALY SILVERIO WAS FEATURED in a national fashion magazine and had the world’s No. 1 boy band and their crazed fans wearing her clothing. It doesn’t get much better than a story in Cosmopolitan and members of One Direction sporting your T-shirts and tank tops.

And while Silverio’s clothing features unique verbiage, she’s often at a loss for words as to how clay and a $5 toaster oven purchased at Goodwill as a 15-year old selling homemade jewelry on eBay and MySpace has been parlayed into a thriving clothing business.

“Even now, everything has been built on social media,” says the former Green Hope High School graduate from Cary.

“I am the only one who does it, and I think that’s what makes our brand so interesting; because the customers know I’m the one replying back to them – that the owner and designer has that connection with the customer.”

Now 22, Silverio has an office located off Hillsborough Street in Raleigh, but her Jawbreaking brand has gone worldwide.

Log on to the trendy Jawbreaking website and click on the “As 20 | caryliving.com

Seen On” tab and there is a montage of photos of celebrities wearing her latest styles, from members of the band Fifth Harmony to the cast of “Orange is The New Black” to rock legend Joan Jett.

But Silverio’s big break came in 2012 when two of her friends won a contest at a local FM radio station to meet the band One Direction before they had hit the big time. Silverio decided to tag along and bring one of her T-shirts to give to any band member who would snare it out of the air as she heaved it over pushy security guards.

That happened to be singer Zayn Malik. The band then left for a concert and Silverio thought nothing more of the encounter.

“A couple of weeks later I was on the Internet and I saw a clip of a preview of The Today Show with them and it looked like the same clothes they were wearing in North Carolina.

Then I realized Zayn wasn’t wearing the same shirt, he was wearing my shirt,” she said. “I literally started crying and flailing my arms. I was on the floor having a panic attack. You could

barely see it, but I knew it was my shirt. From there it kind of blew up, and their friends and family started wanting my shirts. It was crazy. Their fan base is so insane and they do whatever the band does.”

Silverio now works with her 48-year-old mother Ree Feldman, who quit her job as a paralegal to join her daughter’s firm. Mom even comes up with some the sayings on the shirts, such as “No Selfie Control.”

“And she doesn’t even take selfies,” Silverio said.

“Sometimes she’s more hip than I am.”

Jawbreaking’s clothes for “babes” and “dudes” start at around $35, and Silverio unveils a new clothing line each quarter. This fall, a Southwestern theme has taken off.

“Our target audience is teenagers to mid-to-late 20s,” she said. “Our brand is pretty universal, so there is really something for everybody. But the brand grows with me and I’m not 15 anymore, so the designs have matured a lot since then. I am not going to like the things that I liked when I was 15.”

With one exception.

“We tried to discontinue the One Direction items because it’s not really the style anymore, but people still want them,” she said. “Pretty much anything they’ve worn, we’ve brought back.” L

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(Left) Dr. Peter Morris, Executive Director of the Urban Ministries of Wake County; (right) a volunteer treats a patient. (Below) a volunteer is appreciated for her work.

Serving from the Heart Urban Ministries of Wake County // By Carol Wills

“HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HUNGRY?” I ASKED DR. PETER Morris, the Executive Director of Urban Ministries of Wake County. The question startled him for a second, and then he laughed. “Of course,” he said. “Everyone has had the experience of being hungry. But there’s a big difference between being momentarily hungry and being food insecure.” He says that of the approximately one million residents of Wake County, about 150,000 are food ­insecure.

I was speaking with Dr. Morris in his office at the Urban Ministries building on Capital Boulevard in Raleigh, where I had come to learn more about the vital work that they are doing to relieve hunger, provide health care to chronically ill, uninsured adults in Wake County, and offer safe havens for the homeless.

Dr. Morris knows what he’s talking about. He has been a pediatrician for 35 years and served as Medical Director of the Wake County Human Services for 27 years, a position that allowed him to become very familiar with the county’s population and the problems that arise. He is currently serving as a relief hospitalist at WakeMed.

“Wake County is large enough to have duplicate ministries without there being waste or duplication,” says Morris. For example, the Catholic Parish Outreach sees 50,000 clients per year. We see 17,000.” He notes that there are approximately 106 groups in Wake County who maintain a food pantry, many quite small, and each ministry offers different services.

Urban Ministries’ Crisis Support program provides essential services to low­-income Wake County residents in crisis. “This is where food ­insecurity comes in,” Dr. Morris explained. “If a person has a flat tire, for example, and has to replace it in order to have transportation to a job, and the money for the tire drains their resources so that they don’t have enough money to buy food, that’s a crisis.”

22 | caryliving.com

Urban Ministries Food Pantry allows clients to access the pantry once every three months per household. During the other months, Urban Ministries provides referrals to other food pantries.

Prescription medicines are another source of anxiety for low-income households. Urban Ministries provides a voucher for prescription medications once every four months per household. They also give assistance in locating additional services such as shelter, mental health treatment and financial assistance.

Staff and volunteers do the work of interviewing potential clients to determine whether the client is financially eligible for services. A photo ID and Wake County address are required. Joe Retzer mans the reception desk every Tuesday, and has done so for the last four years. “This place really runs on volunteers,” says Retzer. The office hours for the pantry are from 9am to 1pm. The Open Door Clinic is open mornings, afternoons and evenings, Monday through T ­ hursday. Eligibility screenings and clinic visits are by appointment. Over 27,000 persons use services each year.

Urban Ministries is in its 35th year of operation. It was founded by concerned citizens in various churches and synagogues after two men froze to death one winter on the streets of Raleigh. At first Urban Ministries was only a shelter. Currently, however, it has expanded its offerings to include not just health care for the chronically ill, but education and counseling for all clients on ways to improve their health. Similarly, their food pantry provides not just any food, but nutritious choices, such as fresh meat and produce, and their homeless shelter aids clients in finding permanent housing. Their volunteer program helps those involved to use not just their hands, but their hearts and minds, in service to their fellow human beings.

Photos courtesy of Urban Ministries of Wake County

givingback

SAVE THE DATE Stone Soup Supper November 12th • 5:30-7:30pm NCSU Talley Student Union, 2610 Gates Avenue Piedmont Mountains Ballroom For more information or to sponsor please contact: Carol Schwartz at 919.256.2179 or cschwartz@urbanmin.org.

Although their Open Door Clinic sees only adult patients with chronic health problems like diabetes, heart disease and elevated blood pressure, they currently have about 1,500 active patients. The average patient requires six or seven prescription medications each month. However, Morris says, since Obamacare began, about 200 of those patients have become eligible for insurance and are no longer dependent on the clinic’s care. The clinic simply adds more uninsured clients to fill those spaces.

Children and women from low-­ income families are seen by Wake County Human Services or private providers, if they accept Medicaid or the uninsured.

And what about the growing problem of homelessness? Dr. Morris says that about 1,100 persons are homeless on any given night in Wake County. Urban Ministries maintains the Helen Wright Center for Women, which provides both emergency overnight shelter and a 90-day program for about 250 homeless women annually, offering them a chance to move toward independence and permanent housing. Workshops for life skills and job readiness also help provide a supportive environment for women in crisis. The shelter’s 36 beds are full most of the time. L Want to help? C

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Check out Urban Minstries’ website: urbanmin.org. caryliving.com | 23

sponsored content

financialfocus

Time for a Holiday Meeting to Discuss

Financial Preparations?

by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advisor DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON, YOU NO DOUBT HAVE a lot going on in your life – work functions, gatherings with friends and neighbors, tracking down the elusive “perfect gift,” etc. But you may find it valuable to add one more event to your calendar: a family meeting to discuss those financial preparations that affect you and your loved ones.

Of course, the scope of your meeting will depend on your age and the age of your children, and on whether you have elderly parents. So, let’s look at one family meeting scenario that would work under two different sets of circumstances: you are meeting with your own grown children or you are meeting with your elderly parents.

In either case, you’ll want to review the following areas: INVESTMENT INFORMATION It’s a good idea to let your grown children know where you (and your spouse, if still living) keep your investments and

what sort of investments and retirement accounts you own, such as your IRA, 401(k), and so on. You should also provide your children with the name of your financial advisor. And talk to your parents about their investments. You might think that this could be challenging topic to bring up, but you might be surprised at their willingness to talk.

ESTATE PLANNING DOCUMENTS Comprehensive estate planning can involve a variety of legal documents, such as a will, a living trust, power of attorney, etc. If you have already created these documents, you need to share both their location and their intent with your grown children, who will be active players in carrying out your estate plans. The same is true with your elderly parents – try to encourage them to share all their estate-planning documents with you, especially if they will be counting on you for their care.

The information on this page is provided by the advertiser mentioned above to the public.

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NAMES OF PROFESSIONAL ADVISORS As you put together your estate plans, you will likely need to work with a team of financial, tax and legal advisors. Make sure your grown children know the names of these professionals and how to contact them. Similarly, seek the same information from your parents.

WISHES FOR FUTURE LIVING ARRANGEMENTS It’s certainly possible that you will be able to live independently your whole life. On the other hand, you may eventually need some type of long-term care, such as that provided in a nursing home or an assisted-living residence. Let your children know what your feelings are about such a possibility, and what preparations you have made. And try to elicit the same information from your own parents.

FUNERAL OR BURIAL INSTRUCTIONS Admittedly, you can probably find topics that are more pleasant to discuss than funeral plans.

Yet, if you make your own burial or cremation plans in advance, and possibly even prepay for them, you will be taking a tremendous burden off the shoulders of your loved ones, who won’t be forced to make difficult decisions – or scramble for money at short notice – during a highly emotional time in their lives. Once again, you’ll also want to learn about your parents’ desires for their final arrangements, and what steps they may have already taken in this area.

By holding a family meeting about these issues today, you can avoid a lot of stress and misunderstandings in the future. So bring out the coffee and cookies – and start talking. L

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calendar

OF EVENTS

NOVEMBER | DECEMBER 2015

EXHIBIT: Jane Hopkins: A View of My Favorite Things Bond Park Community Center November 1-December 31 801 High House Road | Cary jumpforthechildren.org

Jump for the Children Horse Show benefiting Duke Children’s Hospital Governor James B. Hunt Jr. Horse Complex November 3-8 1025 Blue Ridge Road | Raleigh jumpforthechildren.org

Carolina Artisan Craft Market Raleigh Convention Center November 6-8 500 S Salisbury Street | Raleigh localcoloraleigh.com

Holiday Sip and Shop Garden Supply Company November 12 | 6-8pm 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com

13th Annual Holiday Open House The Garden Hut November 7 1004 Old Honeycutt Road | Fuquay-Varina nelsasgardenhut.com

Second Annual Paderewski Festival: KRZYSTOF KSIAZEK Cary Arts Center November 13 | 7:30pm 101 Dry Avenue | Cary paderewski-festival.org

Cary Invasion Professional Basketball Herb Young Community Center November 7, 14, 21, 25 | 7pm December 19 | 7pm 101 Wilkinson Avenue | Cary caryinvasion.trblproball.com Marvelous Music Family Series: KID POWER’S OPERATION LUNCH LINE 3-D Cary Arts Center November 7 | 3pm 101 Dry Avenue | Cary townofcary.org/departments/parks__recreation___cultural_resources

EXHIBIT: Fire, Form & Function by Mary Beth & Virginia Owen Local Color Gallery November 6 | 6-10pm 311 W. Martin Street | Raleigh localcoloraleigh.com Holiday Open House Garden Supply Company November 6 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com AN EVENING OF ARTS & CULTURE Page-Walker Arts & History Center November 6 | 7pm 119 Ambassador Loop | Cary townofcary.org/departments/parks__recreation___cultural_resources Marvelous Music Mainstage Series: SHANA TUCKER Cary Arts Center November 6 | 7:30pm 101 Dry Avenue | Cary townofcary.org/departments/parks__recreation___cultural_resources 26 | caryliving.com

Concert Singers of Cary present CLOUDBURST: MUSIC FROM OUR TIME The Matthews House November 8 | 3pm 317 W. Chatham Street | Cary concertsingers.org TRIANGLE YOUTH JAZZ ENSEMBLES’ FALL CONCERT Cary Arts Center November 8 | 2pm 101 Dry Avenue | Cary philharmonic-association.org 27 Jaw Dropping Dresses The Cary Theatre November 10 122 E. Chatham Street | Cary etix.com/ticket/p/6794369/27-jawdroppingbridesmaids-presented-by A Veterans Day Remembrance Veteran’s Freedom Park November 11 | 11am-12pm 1513 N. Harrison Avenue | Cary townofcary.org UNCW Triangle Alumni Fall Dinner Prestonwood Country Club November 12 | 6-8pm 300 Prestonwood Parkway | Cary Register at bit.ly/trianglefalldinner2015

CELEBRATION OF NC SONGWRITING The Cary Theater November 14 | 7:30pm 122 E. Chatham Street | Cary caryplaywrightsforum.org/?p=2295 Arts & Crafts Festival St. Paul’s Episcopal Church November 14 | 10am-4pm 221 Union Street | Cary festival.stpaulscary.org Holiday Terrariums Garden Supply Company November 15 | 3-4:30pm 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com Children’s Concert by the TRIANGLE YOUTH STRING ORCHESTRAS Cary Arts Center November 15 | 3pm 101 Dry Avenue | Cary philharmonic-association.org Holiday Wine and Design Workshop: Accent Bows Garden Supply Company November 19 | 6-7:30pm 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com COMEDY WITH KIER The Cary Theater November 20 | 8pm 122 E. Chatham Street | Cary thecarytheater.com Mistletoe Market Green Hope High School November 21 | 11am-3pm 2500 Carpenter Upchurch Road | Cary greenhopehigh.wcpss.net

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DECEMBER

NOVEMBER

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ANNUAL SENIOR CENTER CRAFT FAIR for all ages Cary Senior Center November 21 | 9am-3pm 120 Maury Odell Place | Cary townofcary.org/departments/parks__recreation___cultural_resources Triangle Wind Ensemble presents WANDERLUST Cary Arts Center November 15 | 7:30pm 101 Dry Avenue | Cary trianglewind.org Cozy Toes Run Benefiting Urban Ministries of Wake County November 22 | 9am 201 Walnut Street | Cary runsignup.com/Race/NC/Cary/CozyToesFunRun Register by November 21 CARY ART LOOP Downtown Cary November 27 | 6-9pm caryartloop.org Six String presents: POST TURKEY DAY BENEFIT JAM The Cary Theater November 28 | 8pm 122 E. Chatham Street | Cary thecarytheater.com/ NORTH CAROLINA CHINESE LANTERN FESTIVAL Koka Booth Amphitheatre November 28-January 3 Sundays-Thursdays 6:30-10pm Fridays & Saturdays 6:30-11pm 8003 Regency Parkway | Cary boothamphitheatre.com/nc-chineselantern-festival-cary Bow class The Garden Hut November 30 | 6-7:30pm 1004 Old Honeycutt Road | Fuquay-Varina nelsasgardenhut.com

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Ladies’ Night Out The Garden Hut December 1 | 6-8pm 1004 Old Honeycutt Road | Fuquay-Varina nelsasgardenhut.com 4th Annual Gifting Tree Project Downtown Cary December 2 townofcary.org Holiday Wine and Design: Live Holiday Wreaths Garden Supply Company December 3 | 6-8pm 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com Cary Players presents: “Dashing Through the Snow” Cary Arts Center December 3, 4, 7 | 7:30pm December 4 | 3pm & 8pm December 5 | 3pm 101 Dry Ave | Cary caryplayers.org GROUP EXHIBIT: Let it Snow!

Local Color Gallery December 4 | 6-10pm 311 W. Martin Street | Raleigh localcoloraleigh.com NCAA Women’s Soccer College Cup SEMIFINALS WakeMed Soccer Park December 4 | 5pm & 7:30pm 201 Soccer Park Drive | Cary townofcary.org | ncaa.com/womenscollegecup Town of Cary Christmas Tree Lighting Town Hall Campus December 5 | 6pm 316 N. Academy Street | Cary townofcary.org Heart of Cary Associations’ 12th Annual Ole Time Winter Festival Downtown Cary December 5 | 10am-4pm heartofcary.org Heart of the Holidays Downtown Cary December 5 | 10am-7pm townofcary.org

Breakfast with Mrs. Claus Garden Supply Company December 5 | 9-10am December 12 | 9-10am December 19 | 9-10am 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com NCAA Women’s Soccer College Cup SEMIFINALS WakeMed Soccer Park December 6 | 12pm 201 Soccer Park Drive | Cary townofcary.org ncaa.com/womenscollegecup Live Holiday Wreaths with Anna Garden Supply Company December 6 | 3-4:30pm 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com Holiday Sip and Shop Garden Supply Company December 6 | 6-8pm 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com Bow/Fresh Wreath class The Garden Hut December 7 | 6-7:30pm 1004 Old Honeycutt Road | Fuquay-Varina nelsasgardenhut.com Friends of the Page-Walker Concert Series: Raleigh Boychoir’s Millennium Singers Page-Walker Arts & History Center December 13 | 4pm 119 Ambassador Loop | Cary friendsofpagewalker.org Live Holiday Centerpieces Garden Supply Company December 13 | 3-4:30pm 1421 Old Apex Road | Cary gardensupplyco.com Journey to The Nutcracker Suite Cary Arts Center December 21 | 7pm December 22 | 7pm 101 Dry Ave | Cary CampaneriaBalletSchool.com

Send us...

Community events you would like published in the calendar can be emailed to jenniferh@caryliving.com. caryliving.com | 27

28 | caryliving.com

Gift Guide 2015 caryliving.com | 29

2015 GIFT GUIDE

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01. Maps by A. Jaffe Collection $125-$2,495 Diamonds Direct Crabtree Custom made pieces available in necklaces, bracelets or cufflinks that can be engraved with any location in the world – a diamond marks the spot of a favorite memory!

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02. Medi CEP Progressive Run Socks $60 Raleigh Vein & Laser Not just for runners! These compression therapy socks put a bounce in your step. Many styles and colors available.

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03. The Giving Plate $33 Hailie’s Boutique The perfect addition to your holiday decor. We are an upscale gift shop that sells gifts, home decor, accessories and clothing. We love items that give back to the community!

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04. Oil & Vinegar $20-$75 Vom Fass Pictured: Cranberry balsamic vinegar from Waldburg, Germany and orange extra virgin olive oil from Tuscany, Italy. Come in and see all the pairings we can create.

05. Multi-User Blood Pressure Monitor $51 Ashworth Drug Give the gift of good health.

Adjustable cuff fits almost all arm sizes.

06. Zand Amsterdam Skirt $69.99 BeYOUtiful Butterfly This snap-closed skirt is reversible; no two are alike, and one size fits all. Give this as the perfect gift to someone who wants to be YOUnique!

07. Chocolates $24 Chocolate Smiles You cannot go wrong with assorted chocolates. We customize chocolate as well.

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09 2015 GIFT GUIDE 08. Hand-Felted Wool & Silk Scarf $125 Cary Gallery of Artists We feature original Contemporary and Traditional fine art and craft work of Triangle artists including fiber, glass, jewelry, painting, pottery, porcelain, photography and wood. Gift certificates are available in a variety of denominations.

09. Boots $99-$180 Pink Magnolia Boutique Every Southern girl needs a pair of boots on her holiday wish list.

We offer women chic fashion, jewelry and accessories with a Southern twist. You’ll want to visit often as new and exciting merchandise arrives weekly!

10. Faux Leather Tunic & Leggings

by THML $34-$64

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Saint Mary’s School Make sure this is on your Christmas list! Get this faux leather tunic and leggings, accented by a handmade tassel necklace, only at Saint Mary’s.

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11. Cork Pop Gas Opener $27.99 Total Wine & More The fastest and easiest way to open a bottle of wine. Simply insert the needle straight down through the cork, press once on the top of the low-pressure propellant cartridge, and the cork is lifted out!

12. Pandora Bracelet $805 Ashworth Prim & Proper This particular 7.5” Pandora bracelet has more than 16 holiday charms and features Murano glass.

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13. Snowman Yard Stake $56

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Southern Charm Boutique Our specialty is all things personalized. We offer embroidery, heat press, laser cut wood monograms and jewelry, and vinyl personalization; and personalization is free on most of our in-store items.

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2015 GIFT GUIDE

14 15

14. Necklace $36 Elizabeth’s Garden Stop in to see our jewelry collection.

We are not just decor and garden items, so come browse our glamour and glitz!

15. Bottle Sleeves $14.99 each The Perfect Piece Dress up a gifted bottle of wine with these creative sleeves! Perfect for brining to a dinner party or for your sports fanatic!

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16. Matisse Esme Clog-Bootie $265

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Sophie & Mollies This bootie features burnished leather with metallic painted heel detail.

Our goal is to provide a fun and personalized shopping experience to every customer.

17. KEMESTRY Purses $130 (clips $20) BeYOUtiful Butterfly All natural, handmade purses in exotic leather. Add an assortment of interchangeable magnets or bracelet cuffs to personalize and make a statement.

18. BAIK BAIK Infinity Scarves $15 each BeYOUtiful Butterfly Go green. Stylish, breathable and eco friendly. Add an infinity scarf to layer up an outfit today! So many colors to choose from.

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19. Sapphire Pendants Reliable Jewelry Ladies’ sapphire diamond pendant featuring a 2.25 ct round blue sapphire surrounded by 1 ct of diamonds. 14kt white gold. $3,450. The Waterfall style sapphire diamond pendant features 9 round blue sapphires (.90 cts total) and 28 round diamonds (.33 ct total). 14kt white gold. $1,950.

20. Buddy Balls – Teammates Collection $24.99 GreenPea Baby & Child Dubbed the “best toy ever,” Buddy Balls combine your child’s favorite sport with a fuzzy pal that holds toys, snacks, and more – complimentary gift wrap available!

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2015 GIFT GUIDE

If you can’t choose just one of our featured items, or your gift recipient is simply too hard to shop for, consider a gift card!

Catering Works

cateringworks.com/classes_personal_ chef/classschedule.php Catering Works offers cooking class gift certificates, the perfect holiday gift for foodies and cooking novices alike.

Classes include hands-on interactive instruction, all the ingredients and tools required, complimentary wine and lots of fun!

Abbey Road

Maui Whitening

abbeyroadcary.com Need a stocking stuffer? Come and get a gift certificate for a great night out at Abbey Road! Come try one of our award-winning burgers!

mauiwhitening.com/cary-north-carolina Give the gift of a great smile!

Apex Physical Therapy & Wellness Center

apexptposturalrestoration.com Pick up a gift card for someone on your list in need of care items. A reusable instant heat pack is the perfect gift for the cold winter season to alleviate aches and pains for just $20.

Goodnights Comedy Club goodnightscomedy.com Give memories this holiday season by giving giggles to your loved ones. Gift certificates may be used “same as cash” at the venue to purchase food, beverage or show tickets. Gift certificates are sold via our ticketing website. To use a gift certificate to purchase show tickets, make a phone reservation at 919.828.

LAFF (5233).

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34 | caryliving.com

Your Guide to the Most Stress-Free Holiday

EVER

BY HEATHER MALLORY AND ADAM SOBSEY

‘Tis the season of giving: thanks, gifts, charity – and parties.

With the holidays comes the joyful conviviality of opening our doors to our friends and colleagues, and to the wider circles in which we travel throughout the year. This is itself a form of thanksgiving: gratitude for all the company we keep in life, from the office to the outdoors, confidantes to casual acquaintances.

The paradox of hosting parties, especially at the holidays, is that party planning and hosting can stress the host – and if the host isn’t having a good time, no one else will. We gathered ideas and thoughts from professionals in the business of hospitality, from décor to drink, on how to make your party the kind that people – including you – will be excited for every year.

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PLANNING The best way to reduce stress is by planning ahead – “make a timeline and a checklist,” says Deborah Davis, the impresario behind Social Butterfly Events (www.socialbutterflyusa.com).

Send invitations early. “Although evites have become very popular,” says John Griffin of ThemeWorks (www.facebook. com/ThemeWorksCreative), a Raleigh mecca for party and event services and furnishings, “nothing beats receiving an invitation in the mail.”

If you’re unsure about party size, observe a trusty axiom: “Have a better party and fewer guests,” Davis says. If you are throwing a larger party, you may want to consider hiring an event planner. They won’t necessarily break the bank, conserving your budget for food, drink and décor while freeing you from many burdens. “Three hundred dollars is probably the most you’d need to spend,” Davis says.

THEME AND DÉCOR Although professionals differed on some of the finer points, nearly all of them had this piece of advice for throwing a great party: keep it simple. “I find myself easily stressed when entertaining at home, Griffin says. “Don’t overthink it. Decorations can be as simple as a beautiful wreath on the door and a decorated Christmas tree in your home.”

If you’re not using traditional seasonal decorations (e.g. Christmas or Chanukah), design still needn’t be complicated, nor should it be: too much fuss makes for a convoluted party. Event planner Grace Beason (www. graceleisureevents.com) recommends “to think about your house and how it flows, and find a single element that ties it all together. It could be as simple as gold accents everywhere, even gold linens and flatware.” She also recommends CE Rental for their “really special, spectacular linens. They’re a really nice touch, and you don’t have to have as much floral décor.”

DON’T OVERTHINK IT...DECORATIONS CAN BE AS SIMPLE AS A BEAUTIFUL WREATH ON THE DOOR AND A DECORATED CHRISTMAS TREE IN YOUR HOME.

You’ll probably want some flowers, though, and The English Garden, Fresh Affairs, Kelly Odom, and The Watered Garden all come highly recommended. “You can also call people from your local garden club,” Deborah Davis says. “They love making arrangements.” And there’s plenty of flora right in our backyards. “I like North Carolina’s natural greenery,” says Aldena Frye, whose Aldena Frye Floral and Event Design (www.aldenafryeflorist.com) is just outside Pinehurst. “We use magnolia, camellia, nandina. I also like vegetables and fruits. During the holidays I use a lot

36 | caryliving.com

- John Griffin, ThemeWorks

of red pears, and preserved dried oranges. You can brush them with a little bit of gold if you like. And of course, being in the middle of pine country, we use a lot of pine.”

“If you want to do more décor using in-depth props,” Grace Beason says, “ThemeWorks is great. If you want to create a winter wonderland in your house, they have everything. For something more chic and elegant, they can rent you a freestanding mahogany bar.” No matter what kind of bar you use, ThemeWorks’ Griffin advises “having it set up in one area and

food set up in another. That allows guests to mix and mingle more naturally, and it seems to make the gathering more social and relaxed.”

It’s easy to overlook a simple but important design element: lighting. David Watson, the owner of Get Lit (getlitspecialeventlighting.com), says: “If you’re going to spend hundreds of dollars on décor, flower arrangements and a holiday cake that’s a work of art, spend $50 on lighting so you can see it.”

Watson also suggests thinking about your home’s exterior – not just lighting it,but partying on it. “During the holidays in North Carolina,” he says, “it’s often warm enough to host a party outdoors.” (Rented heat lamps can compensate for colder temperatures.) “Often we’ll upwash trees in different colors, sometimes in blue that resembles winter light. Sometimes we’ll do the whole house. We can even make it snow with our little bubble machines.”

But do make sure you have plenty of candles – “you can’t go wrong with candles,” Griffin says. Frye adds: “I believe candlelight is the best thing in the world. Well, maybe a martini is better, but candlelight is second-best.”

FOOD AND BEVERAGE “If you get the food and drink right,” Beason says, “everything else tends to be okay.” For a smaller party, you can provide your own food, but Griffin suggests sticking mostly with “foods that are purchased ready to serve: cheese, nuts, and so on.” Beason agrees. “Around the holidays,” she says, no matter their usual diets, “people will eat cheese all night, especially specialty cheeses.” (But be wary of raw vegetables, which tend to be left largely uneaten. Try grilled or roasted vegetables instead, which are more flavorful and partake of seasonal produce like winter squash.)

For any larger gathering, “find a great local caterer,” Beason advises. Among the many advantages to working with caterers – aside from the relieving the host of the responsibility, which includes cleaning up the kitchen afterward – is that they can easily accommodate any level of cuisine and formality (and dietary restrictions), from simply dropping off food for you to lay out yourself to serving a fully staffed, multi-course, formal dinner.

Most parties fall somewhere in-between. “I find that people seem to enjoy a party more if it’s not a sit-down dinner,” Griffin says. The preference is for bite-sized foods that guests can eat while standing. “You’re creating an atmosphere where people are grazing throughout the night,” Beason says. Also atmospheric are foods that “kick in the sense of the holidays,” says Daniel Whitaker,

caryliving.com | 37

Lighting is a simple, but often overlooked design element.

proprietor of the ecologically-minded Green Planet Catering (www.greenplanetcatering.com) in Cary. (Green Planet maintains its own sustainable farm site, works with many local growers and purveyors, and runs its trucks on biodiesel fuel.)

“What kind of feeling does the food invoke when you taste it?” Whitaker asks. At the holidays, “One bite, I’m back in my mother’s kitchen.” He likes to reimagine holiday-season flavors in canapes like turkey roulade: stuffing rolled up in sliced turkey breast and topped with gravy; or a stuffed crescent pastry dough topped with cranberry relish.

For beverages, hot punch makes sense for both seasonality and convenience (you can make it well ahead of time). Holiday parties are also great settings for wines that “offer voluptuous personalities and generous perfumes,” says Mic Finger of Wine Authorities (www.wineauthorities. com). His top pick is a Loire Valley Viognier, “De Butte en Blanc,” by Domaine Robert Serol. At just $11.99, it fits the party-giving bill: at the holidays, fine wine and liquor are unnecessary; drink is more an accessory to fun than serious sipping. On that note, Finger also suggested an economical but good-quality three-liter box (equivalent to four bottles) of Chinon Rouge by Domaine Gouron.

The Cabernet Franc-based wine is flavorful and intense but “isn’t massively full-bodied,” Finger says, making it easier on the palate and head (and better with finger foods) as the night goes on. And it’s good for parties because it can be decanted into attractive serving vessels of your choice.

Finger also suggested hard cider, whose fall flavors 38 | caryliving.com

complement the season – especially pear ciders like Eric Bordelet’s and the Poiré Domfront from Pacory: “a highly versatile, clean, refreshing crowd-pleaser,” Finger says. Ciders are also lower in alcohol, which tempers the more freewheeling drinking environment of the holidays.

Two ways to control that environment are to forgo hard liquor and to hire a bartender: “It’s not a big expense, and it’s so nice to have,” Davis says – a gracious and elegant service touch. “A bartender can also keep the beverage area neat and stocked,” Griffin adds.” If you’re having a long party, Davis recommends offering alternative transportation via a car service, perhaps even hiring students as drivers. “You want your guests to know that they can enjoy and leave your house without any problems.” (One note: if you do serve liquor, caterers aren’t licensed to sell it, although they can serve it; many have specialty cocktail recipes, which they can mix from liquor you purchase. You might also hire a company like Pour Bar Services (www.pourbarservices.com), which provides everything from purchase to pouring – and liability insurance coverage, as well.)

Hiring service staff is strongly encouraged. “I always like having a helper roam my home, keeping everything neat, picking up glassware, and keeping restrooms clean,” Griffin says. “Of course, all reputable caterers will have a trained, unobtrusive staff that can give the entire night a pleasantly heightened, soigné feel. “Your guests like to enjoy you without you running around all the time,” says Kelli March, the Catering Director at Catering By Design in Cary.

Even More Help for the Holidays Concierge services: Metro’s Other Woman | metrosotherwoman.com All-in-one service for savvy, forward-thinking individuals and business owners who are on-the-go, but wise enough to delegate and share the load.

Loblolly Concierge | loblollyconcierge.com Concierge team offering companies, individuals and families solutions for managing daily tasks.

Criado Concierge | criadoconcierge.com From cleaning to grocery shopping to auto maintenance, services available seven days 24-7.

Visit NC Concierge | visitncconcierge.com Trip itineraries are leisurely choreographed balancing the must-see with hidden gems savoring the state’s most distinctive accommodations and sampling the best local cuisine.

Catering services: Catering Works | cateringworks.com Catering by Design | catering-by-design.com My Chef Catering | apexcaterer.com

ENTERTAINMENT

SpiceCubed Catering | spicecubed.com

Most professionals agreed that entertainment generally isn’t necessary at the holidays. For example, “Live music is often distracting,” Griffin says. If you’d like to add that touch, Davis recommends finding some “talented high school seniors who could play as a duo or a quartet before the dinner hour.” Generally, recorded music, played at lower volumes, suffices.

Cheerful company and the high spirits of the season are the best entertainment and refreshment.

That’s a good way to approach the entire party, from music to munchies to mistletoe.

Molly Rohde, of Seaboard Studio 123 in Raleigh, calls herself “the go-to girl for event planners, decorators and style mavens all over the state of North Carolina.” She recalls a major setback before a holiday dinner party years ago: “The Christmas tree fell over, half an hour before everybody came,” she says. “We just left it on the floor.” But how to distract guests from such a catastrophe? She laughs and says, “Pour ‘em a drink.” L

Michelin OnSite | michelinonsite.com

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CAR services: Have your car tires installed whenever and wherever you want. Just visit the website, purchase a new set of tires and schedule a time and place for the Michelin OnSite team to perform the installation. Michelin chose the Triangle exclusively as the pilot region for the new program.

YourMechanic | yourmechanic.com A mobile mechanic service that provides a range of services on-demand, such as brake replacement, oil changes and a host of others.

Spiffy Car Wash | getspiffy.com A mobile car wash and detailing service launched out of Cary and Apex, now available in multiple other locations.

Sharky’s Auto Glass | sharkysautoglass.net Auto glass and windshield replacement the easy way. A technician will come to your house or office and handle the repair while you get on with your life-normally at no extra charge.

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Photo courtesy of La Farm Bakery Turkey bread (available in November only), and macarons by La Farm Bakery.

For nearly everyone, dessert at the holidays means pumpkin and apple pie, Buche de Noel, and other traditional sweets that evoke the spirit and senses of the season. Probably every holiday table should feature at least one of these tried-andtrue essentials, without too much experimentation. Apple pie with cheddar cheese is tasty, and pumpkin pie made with fresh pumpkin gives the baker a feeling of accomplishment and freshness – but ultimately, we’re home for the holidays not least because we want its familiar comforts. (And canned pumpkin actually makes better pies.)

Nonetheless, Americans are nothing if not inventors and explorers. Thanksgiving commemorates our intrepidity nearly as much as it celebrates our gratitude. We asked some local pastry chefs for holiday dessert ideas off the beaten path. Cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves may be the spices of the season, but variety is the spice of life.

Ashley Monaghan, the owner of Sugar Buzz Bakery, grew up in Jacksonville, North Carolina, where she (like many of us) fondly recalls her grandmother’s pumpkin pies. “But I’ve 40 | caryliving.com

always been a cheesecake person,” she avows, and at holiday season she’s fond of pumpkin cheesecake with caramel sauce. One advantage to cheesecakes, Monaghan notes, is that they can be limited to gluten-free ingredients without sacrificing quality or texture, as traditional pies often do; a pecan or almond crust works very well with cheesecake. Also, cheesecakes can accommodate a wide range of flavors, so they’re versatile as well as unusual.

Monaghan studied in the Baking and Pastry Arts program at Asheville-Buncombe Community College.

In 2012 she moved to the Triangle and began working at Sugar Buzz, and it went so well that in 2013 she bought the business. Sugar Buzz already had a strong commitment to gluten-free baked goods, so her fondness for cheesecake fit right in. Another of her holiday favorites is the gluten-free cranberry-almond bundt cake, which packs big seasonal flavor into one package. But call early to reserve one; it’s a popular dessert at Sugar Buzz’s busiest time of year.

Monaghan says, laughing apologetically, “We have ordering

deadlines for the holidays.�

At La Farm, many of the traditional holiday desserts, such as stollen, are turned out with classical skill, but Linzer challah, stuffed with raspberries and cream and topped with rock sugar and almonds, is an inventive alternative to pie. It’s also an excellent Chanukah dessert (and, La Farm suggests, makes good French toast the next morning).

For a dinnertime accompaniment, try La Farm’s turkey bread – not what you may be fearing, but in fact Italian bread in the shape of a turkey.

Turkey bread is not only a fun alternative to the usual rolls, it can also be hollowed out and “stuffed,� so to speak, with a spread, as pre-dinner hors d’oeuvres. It makes a great gift, too. But if you can’t bear to eat both real turkey and its staff-of-life replica, La Farm also makes a Snowman-shaped bread. L

A beautiful cheeasecake and bundt by Sugar Buzz.

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SURVIVING

THE HOLIDAYS: EATING AND ENTERTAINING SENSIBLY

THROUGH NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER

By Corbie Hill

The holiday season means a lot of things, but regardless of what you celebrate, it often means sweets, sweets and more sweets. It means parties and enormous portions of food, all while it’s too cold outside to reliably exercise. Yes, some of you go for runs or bike rides no matter the temperature or precipitation, but what about us mere mortals? What can we do to survive November and December with our health intact?

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“Between Halloween and New Year’s, if people try to lose weight they are often setting themselves up to fail,” says Maria Kennedy, MPH, RD, LDN, a registered dietitian who runs a private practice in Cary. She’s not being defeatist, but realistic: it’s a season of celebrating, of seeing friends, and of gorging yourself in the process. The trick isn’t slimming down, then, but resisting that extra few pounds. “If you can maintain through that period of time, you’re doing great.” There are ways, she says, of doing so without punishing yourself, and without wholly avoiding sweets and seasonal treats.

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“Deprivation is not a good way to get through the holidays,” she says. “Treat yourself once in a while, but try to make healthy choices.” It’s true, “healthy” is a relative term over the holidays, but there are ways to minimize the damage. If you’re at a party and you want to drink alcohol, she says, choose wine or beer and also drink water instead of sugary, calorie-loaded punches.

“If you’re going to host a party, have some sweet treats, but have them be in really small serving sizes,” Kennedy says: brownies or little pieces of fudge, say, rather than whopping slices of cake. Offer shrimp cocktail or lean cuts of meat and veggie or fruit trays, with richer, more savory dishes served in smaller portions. As for drinks, serve wine, light beer, and flavorful seltzer water such as the increasingly popular (and quite refreshing) La Croix.

“You can make substitutions,” she says. “With baking, you can use three-fourths or one-half the amount of sugar.” If a recipe calls for mayonnaise, you can substitute plain Greek yogurt for half of it. This admittedly diminishes the flavor, but you can make up the difference with garlic, onion, herbs and spices – just take it easy on the salt; for baking, you can make up the difference with extra vanilla extract and cinnamon. “I’m not advocating that everything be fat-free, but fat has calories,” Kennedy says.

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If you’re invited to a potluck party, she says, bring a veggie tray with yogurt dip. This way, you have something to eat that you know is healthy. You can indulge on a treat or two, but fill up on your own dish. “You definitely shouldn’t go to parties where you don’t know what they’re going to have if you are starving,” Kennedy says. “You should eat a little bit before you go.”

“People tend to overeat when they’re stressed out,” Kennedy says. With many people simultaneously stressed and surrounded by fatty or sugary food during the holidays, it’s a perfect storm! Exercise lowers stress levels and, luckily, North Carolina’s mild climate ensures walkable days, even in the heart of winter. Otherwise, she says, run in place, do jumping jacks, or have a dance party with your kids.

To reiterate, moderation is key: “You’re better off having a few chocolate truffles – the rich, delicious version where you’re satisfied – rather than it be low-fat, low-sugar, low-everything and not taste like something you want to eat,” Kennedy says. “Desserts, in particular – you’re better off splurging on the real deal and just having less of it.” L

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To learn more about Kennedy’s practice, visit mariakennedyrd.com.

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HEALTHY

Skewers with marinated veggies and mini fresh mozzarella cheese.

PARTY MENU Party menu ideas, via Maria Kennedy, MPH, RD, LDN

Guacamole and salsa with tortilla chips. Use chips with just a few simple ingredients: corn, oil, salt.

Fruit with Greek yogurt dip. Or veggies with Greek yogurtbased dressings or tzatziki sauce as dip.

Smoked salmon appetizers on whole grain crackers or bread.

Spinach stuffed mushrooms, made with mostly spinach and onion and a small amount of Parmesan cheese.

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Shrimp cocktail.

Hummus and veggies. Offer different varieties, such as white bean, black bean, or spicy hummus.

PLUS...

Spinach dip with whole grain crackers Homemade turkey or lean ground beef meatballs Party pinwheel sandwiches with roasted chicken or turkey caryliving.com | 45

Getting into the spirit without getting into the spirits by corbie hill

There’s a scene in a 1997 episode of The Simpsons in which Duff Man, the spokesperson and mascot of fictional beer brand Duff, bursts into Moe’s Tavern, offering a bottomless glass of beer to town drunk Barney Gumble. That night, though, Barney is the designated driver, and he sits miserably on his stool while raucous partying erupts around him.

Many of us have been there, and many of us have gone to the opposite extreme, drinking more than we mean to at a party. Granted, alcohol brings on a pleasant buzz and many drinks taste great – I enjoy a mixed drink with dinner and a nightcap myself – but I’m increasingly wary of social drinking. It seems dangerous to so wholly conflate drinking with fun, and this easily leads to overindulgence. More and more, when I go out I drink tea, Sprite, or La Croix. More and more I like keeping a clear head at parties and other social occasions. More and more I realize I’m not alone at this.

With Christmas and all the other November and December holidays come parties, dinners and family occasions. I’d like to keep my social alcohol intake to a minimum, though. My mindset is simple: I don’t have to drink if I don’t feel like it – period.

It sounds simple, but it takes getting used to if you’re new

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to this. Back when I first cut back, I had a hard time with it.

We’d show up at a holiday party, and I’d feel self-conscious saying “thanks, but I’m not drinking right now” when a friend offered me a beer. Nobody pressured me – it was all internal, associating social events or dinner parties with a drink or two.

It got easier with practice.

What helped was making sure I had a satisfying drink in hand. Water’s good for you, but a little too ascetic – it can feel like punishment. Why not try fancy water? La Croix or Perrier are satisfying, mature alternatives, and I occasionally even bring a few with me to a party. If I want something with a bite to it, I drink real ginger ale – you know, the kind that’ll clear your sinuses for a week. The Bartender’s Bible’s section on nonalcoholic beverages contains some gems as well – one of my favorites, the Atomic Cat, is simply equal parts tonic water and orange juice, served over ice in a highball glass. I’ve found a tiny splash of bitters (yes, I know, this has a miniscule amount of alcohol) adds a distinctive flavor, particularly if you switch the tonic water out for club soda. If someone hands me a drink, too, I know it’s okay to politely decline and hand it back – I didn’t ask for it, so I don’t have to drink it. L

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919-669-2959 www.OutdoorExpeditionsUSA.com caryliving.com | 47

RELATIVE EASE

Making Peace with Family Holidays

By Jenni Hart

In families already tested by poor communication, unrealistic expectations or strained finances, the holiday vortex can feel like the place where joy goes to die. No one is immune: New couples with competing in-laws, new parents whose baby is in high demand for cuddling, and families changed by separation or divorce all must navigate the season with its heady hopes for celebration and connection.

By the time a conflict surfaces, family members often find that tensions have been simmering for a long time, sometimes years. One way to avoid discord is to head off hurt feelings before they start.

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Traditions Adina Middleman is a Raleigh therapist who advises couples to be proactive with one another at least several months in advance of family gatherings and communicate their holiday plans to other family members ahead of time. “I often say expectations are the nemesis of every relationship,” says Middleman, a licensed clinical social worker with New Hope Counseling. “This forward planning may require juggling time spent between families, deciding how to honor religious aspects of the holiday if applicable, and discussing food traditions.”

In her practice, she sees conflicts arise when these issues are not discussed and the couple’s holiday traditions differ from those of the “first family,” or the family of origin.

Middleman says one member of a couple may compromise his or her beliefs or traditions and begin to feel resentful.

“We all know resentment can lead to arguments and emotional disconnection between couples,” she says. She suggests couples discuss priorities to decide which first family traditions mean the most and which can be compromised. Couples should also make their own traditions and remember to set aside time devoted to their new family at some point during the holidays.

Alicia (last name withheld by request) is a Cary wife and mother of three who says her marriage was so strained by her in-laws that there were a few years when only her husband was invited to visit his parents’ home at the holidays. “I let it go too far, and so did he, until every time we tried to fix the damage, it only made things worse,” she says. Alicia got the impression early on that her husband’s parents didn’t welcome her or her two children from a previous relationship. “My daughters were excluded from activities the other grandchildren had planned for them,” she remembers. Only later did she realize there were misunderstandings on both sides that could have been handled differently. Alicia says her relationship with her mother-in-law can still be prickly at times, but over the years, her daughters have enjoyed a loving relationship with their grandparents. The couple has since had another child – a son – and holidays with family are much more enjoyable than in those early years.

For Alicia’s family, relocating to North Carolina from her husband’s hometown in New Jersey was the catalyst that led to healthier interactions with his parents. “People talk about boundaries, and I never understood what that meant

“I never thought I would say that, but the kids are excited, and so am I.” – Alicia, Cary exactly, but living hundreds of miles apart forced everyone to be on their best behavior and more thoughtful about how we treated each other,” she says. Ultimately, Alicia admits she and her husband “had some growing up to do,” and that marriage counseling, which they sought for other reasons, helped them find more effective ways of communicating and managing conflict. Alicia says she’s looking forward to seeing her in-laws and their extended family at Christmas. “I never thought I would say that, but the kids are excited, and so am I,” she says.

Timing When it comes to holiday celebrations, the timing of events can vary greatly between families of origin, even when members of a couple are of the same faith and have somewhat similar traditions. What time is the Thanksgiving meal served? When are presents exchanged? Which holiday service will we attend? When are grandparents invited over? Middleman recommends couples iron out all these items in advance. Enter event details and times in a calendar accessible to everyone in the family to reduce miscommunication.

Finances Couples who are at odds over spending priorities throughout the year are likely to find those stresses magnified at the holidays. Middleman recommends couples discuss expectations and budgets in advance. Spending on gifts is one consideration, but couples should also factor in the expense of travel when visiting family and friends, as well as food and beverages when hosting a party. “Discuss expectations for gifts,” she says. “Some families purchase gifts for each family member, while others draw names and buy fewer presents. Do you expect ‘big ticket’ items to be exchanged, or are gifts not important to you at all?

Communicate ahead of time, because no one wants to fight about money during the holidays.”

Families with older children may want to consider a weekend trip or even a local family outing in lieu of individual presents. Memories of fun times together can be more meaningful – and more economical – than purchasing multiple gifts for each member of the family. caryliving.com | 49

Understanding the complexities of your families needs can make your holiday gatherings infinitely less stressful when it comes to visitation, holiday dinners and outings.

Separation, Divorce, Stepfamilies Families that have recently been through a transition are bound to find the holidays challenging. The uncertainty and confusion children face when parents separate can be very unsettling. Psychologist Brian Mackey, of Cary’s 3-C Family Services, says parents should remember that children’s individual needs remain largely unchanged regardless of the changes in the family. “They still have strong needs for attention, love, entertainment and belonging during the holidays,” he says. “Traditions will change after divorce, but focusing on the child’s core needs and remaining flexible will make the transition easier to navigate.”

Dr. Mackey recommends parents think of creating stepfamilies as a process, not a single event. “With time, good communication, and love, new family members will learn to peacefully co-exist. Relationships and traditions are never replaced. The lost ones are mourned (for however long it takes), and new and different ones are formed,” he says.

In his experience, Mackey finds that adequate attention is the one need that children most often report is missing during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. With parties to plan, cookies to bake, errands to run, and other commitments, he says parents should be mindful that a child’s needs for attention are constant and may actually increase during the holidays. He adds that parents and stepparents should be patient with children as they adjust to new situations. Although children’s behavior and attitudes may seem to change quickly as they get used to new adults in their lives, deeper emotions and expectations can take longer to catch up. But there is reason to remain hopeful. “There is no set number of people they can care about, become attached to, or allow into their lives,” says Mackey. “Children have unlimited room in their hearts for love.” L

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Support your

Cary Downtown Farmers' Market 135 West Chatham Street, Cary 919-995-0926 Tuesdays 2-6pm | Saturdays 8am-12:30pm Last market day: November 21 caryfarmersmarket.com

Fuquay Fresh 1508 North Main Street, Fuquay-Varina Tuesdays & Thursdays 3:30-6:30pm Saturdays 8am-1pm Through November 21 919-810-3595 www.ncagr.gov/fuquayfresh.htm

Western Wake Farmers' Market 101 Gathering Park Circle, Cary Saturdays 9am-12pm Year-round 540-230-6697 westernwakefarmersmarket.org

Western Wake Farmers' Market at UNC Wellness Center 350 Stonecroft Lane, Cary May-November Saturdays 7:30am-12:30pm wwfm.ag

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An

UNCLUTTERED

Christmas: Giving thoughtful gifts without giving stuff

BY CORBIE HILL

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My name is Corbie Hill and I have enough stuff.

In the interests of honesty, there are always other things I want, sure – another guitar or two, a slightly larger house, a Star Trek uniform for every day of the week (don’t judge) – but I don’t actually need anything. So when Christmas comes around and people inevitably ask me what I want, I never have an answer.

I’m an adult. I have enough stuff. Considering the long post-Christmas lines at stores’ return counters, I get the feeling I’m not alone.

What I do want, though, is experiences. If you want to get me something, get me a memory that’ll stay with me indefinitely – I can’t think of a finer gift. So if you’re like me, or if you’re figuring out Christmas gifts for people like me, maybe this is the way to go.

DINNER PARTY

You do know how to cook, don’t you? No matter, even if you don’t you can throw a memorable dinner party – something your friends will remember and probably get more satisfaction out of than a scented candle or a winter shirt that you hope is the right size. Some people like small get-togethers with just two families, while others gravitate toward bustling parties, so you may have to throw more than one. Why not, though? Your friends and family are worth it – and good food is, too.

Back to the matter of cooking, then: if you’re not all that proficient in the kitchen, you can make it a potluck. Tell your guests that the party is your gift to them and that they shouldn’t feel obligated to give you anything in return – just bring a dish. If you love to cook and would like total control over what comes out of your kitchen (it’s okay, I’m that way, too), then that’s fine – friends who want to contribute can always bring drinks, games, or music.

MATCHING TATTOOS No, scratch that – it’s a horrible idea.

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TRIP Go and do! Even if you and a friend split the expense of going somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, it can still be the way you celebrate the holidays – it can still be a gift.

CONCERTS

CHILDSIT Have friends with young kids? Give them a night out. Simply offering to watch their children for a few hours so they can go out to eat, catch a movie, or simply sit and stare blankly into space is a gift they won’t soon forget.

Got friends with dogs? Offer to keep their friendly beasts for a weekend so they can go out of town without worrying about a kennel or paid pet sitter.

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Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill boast world-class entertainment, both on weekdays and weekends. Over the course of November and December, Daryl Hall and John Oates and John Prine play DPAC in Durham, the North Carolina Symphony presents Beethoven’s 8th and Rachmaninoffs’ Symphony No. 2 in Raleigh, and Chapel Hill’s legendary, longstanding Red Clay Ramblers play three successive nights at the Cat’s Cradle Back Room in Carrboro! In the heart of Pinehurst, the Village Chapel’s free Christmas Concert is December 6th at 4pm and features traditional carols, the six-movement Christmas Cantata, and a piece Village Chapel Director of Music Stephen Gourley wrote specifically for the concert.

So even if there’s a drive involved, pick a friend or two and go see a concert together. If you’re in a position to cover everyone’s tickets, go for it, but don’t feel obligated – just suggesting it and offering to drive may be enough.

FAVORITE BOOK EXTENDED LOAN You do have a favorite book, don’t you? I’ve been delving into nonfiction lately – Jon Krakauer, John Cleese and Anne Garrels have all written rewarding books, as I see it – but I find myself getting to the end of one of these and not having anyone to discuss it with! This was a real shame with Norman Ollestad’s Crazy For the Storm – I’m still looking for someone who will talk about that one with me.

This Christmas, make a list of friends and family members, then go through your bookshelves and match books to people – the folks you know and love, after all, deserve reading material you know and love. Loan the book out, no strings attached. Once it’s been read, meet up and discuss it!

LEARN TO RIDE, LEARN TO CLIMB, LEARN TO SKYDIVE...

SKYDIVE? Learn a new skill with a friend, with your spouse, or with anyone you enjoy spending time with. The Sandhills is horse country, so learn to ride! Morrisville has the Triangle Rock Club, so learn to climb! Take piano lessons together, or something along those lines. These things can seem less daunting with a friend, after all. L

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SANDLIN FAMILY LAW GROUP

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handmade holiday from gifts the

kitchen

by Sioux Watson | photos by Davies Photography

One doesn’t have to be adept in the kitchen in order to create perfectly wonderful holiday gifts; they can be as much fun to make as they are to receive. Edible gifts have the added benefit of always being the perfect gift for the friend that has everything or is hard to buy for.

While it is nice to give money or fancy gifts, no gift is more appreciated than those that are homemade. Gifts created in your kitchen and rustically labeled are unusual these days, and the time and effort you spend making them is a special way to show your friendship and love.

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Edible Gift Ideas A gift from the kitchen does not need to be elaborate or made of costly ingredients; however, it should be a little out of the ordinary and something the receiver is not likely to make himself. Ideally, try to match the gift of food to the food likes of the recipient, and always make something that you yourself want to eat. ALWAYS make more than you need for your gift-giving!

My girls are grown and establishing holiday traditions of their own, yet I realize they continue to make some of the special baked goods we made together as a family when they were small. From an early age, one of their very favorite holiday cookies to make were anatomically correct gingerbread boys and girls. Nothing says good, clean family fun in the kitchen like rolling out gingerbread people and adding tiny boobies and penises out of gingerbread dough, then

brushing with beaten egg and shaking on sprinkles. Find a gingerbread (wo)man cookie recipe, buy small two-inch high boy and girl cutters, and get out the cookie sheets.

Bake time is a short six-eight minutes; once cool, place in clear bags with festive ribbons to hand out to friends and neighbors. I still make them and bring them to the annual neighborhood cookie exchange; they are always a hit for all ages.

Nancy, a neighbor who plays a lot of tennis and has a house full of children and dogs, is a great cook. Reliably she makes cranberry chutney each holiday season; she buys inexpensive decorative glass dishes or jars and gives it out from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve. It is a favorite to serve on turkey sandwiches or any roast meats.

Chutney recipes are varied, easy, and the finished product can be kept in the refrigerator for months.

Traditionally chutney is served with cold meats, cheese sandwiches or Ploughman’s lunch.

There are dozens of chutney recipes available online; last year I made Granny Smith apple chutney.

Spiced walnuts are so good, and though one can put them out for a healthy snack any time of year, I really only think about making them during the holidays. They are sold at Whole Foods but, if you love them, they are easy to make at home for a quarter of the price you pay, and they list the recipe on the Whole Foods website. It is easy to make up a lot and give as gifts! Use jars you’ve saved during the year, or buy small plastic bags with a gold twist tie. Good, and good for you! I use straight-up walnuts, but a mix of nuts is also fabulous.

Spiced Walnuts Ingredients 3 cups sugar 2 tsp kosher salt 2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 ½ tsp chili powder ½ tsp ground allspice ½ tsp cayenne pepper 1 egg white 4 cups mixed nuts (pecans, walnuts,

almonds and/or pistachios) Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Whisk sugar, salt, cinnamon, chili powder, allspice and cayenne in a small bowl. Whisk egg white until light and frothy in a large bowl. Add nuts to egg white and toss until evenly coated. Sprinkle sugar mixture over nuts and toss well to combine. Spread nuts in a single layer on the prepared baking sheet and bake until dry, 40 to 50 minutes, stirring once or twice. Cool to room temperature before storing in an airtight container. L

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DISAPPEARING

GIFTS

Holiday Giving Takes “Technology Twist”

BY DAVE DROSCHAK In case you haven’t noticed, there has been a recent shift in holiday gift giving, mostly because of the proliferation of technology and the increasing power of online purchases. Some offerings that were staples for years have slowly been on the decline or are beginning to disappear faster than a glass of eggnog. Here is a look at some of those gifts and even a new idea or two to consider.

Cold Hard Cash

You remember the green stuff, correct? Sure, just like in the Seinfeld episode when Jerry gives Elaine money for her birthday, cash can be somewhat impersonal, but it worked when in an “idea pinch.”

Now, even grandma is replacing cash with plastic gift cards – anything from sporting good stores to your favorite restaurant. These cards have proliferated supermarkets and drug stores, and are a painless purchase.

Sporting Event Tickets

Once a neat and thoughtful gift, “in-person” sporting events have taken a hit by the proliferation of games tht are available on high-definition cable TV or via the Internet streaming. And with the new curved televsions and monster 70-inch screens, being at home is almost as good as being there.

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GPS Devices

The price of these items has tumbled over the last five years as map applications on alreadycharged cell phones are stateof-the-art and provide immediate satisfaction.

Cameras

The iPhone selfie has taken a bite out of high-end camera purchases, and camera technology on cell phones is now off-the-charts good.

It’s still not for the professional photographer, but 99 percent of folks are happy snapping away on their phone without the hassle of looking for a camera case when they see a deer on the side of the road or their infant is stacking blocks for the first time.

Daily Deal Sites

This is part of the online purchasing phenomena that continues to increase each passing holiday season. Why not purchase a gift card from Groupon or LivingSocial and provide your loved one with double or triple their buying power? L

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Giving Back

TO CARY

BY CARLA TURCHETTI

The holiday season overflows with feelings of kindness and goodwill and the desire to dive into a project that gives back to the community. Here are just a few of the opportunities to make a difference locally.

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Kids Together Playground

The Kids Together Playground at Marla Dorrel Park in Cary is an accessible playground that is enjoyed by children of all physical and mental abilities. While the park and the playground are owned and operated by the town of Cary, an all-volunteer army works to raise funds for improvements and build awareness of this special play space. A special fundraising effort is underway now to build a misting garden on the playground with an estimated cost of $110,000.

The nonprofit behind the playground suggests the holiday gift of an engraved brick. For $50, each brick is engraved with a customized message and will be installed on the playground before the annual birthday celebration in June. If you choose to buy a brick as a gift, Kids Together will send the recipient a certificate.

Kids Together is also one of the nonprofits that will be manning the gift-wrapping station at the Barnes & Noble bookstore in Cary this December.

Volunteers are needed to staff the event, which offers gift wrapping to customers who have the option to donate to the cause. Teens are welcome as volunteer gift wrappers.

The order form to purchase a brick for yourself or as a gift is on the Kids Together website.

Kidstogethercary.org

Wake County Holiday Cheer Last year more than 2500 people were touched by Wake County Human Service’s Holiday Cheer program. Individuals or groups sign up to sponsor nearby families and treat them to holiday meals and gifts.

“Whether it’s a group in Zebulon or Apex, we really try to make it as convenient for the sponsor as we can,” says Denise Kissel with Wake County Human Services. “We do group people together geographically whenever possible.”

Holiday Cheer is a program that allows sponsors and recipients to get to know each other.

“Our program is a sponsorship format where the sponsor really adopts that family for the holidays,” Kissel says. “They talk to them and meet them and have the personalized wish list of items that they not only want, but need. It adds a level of intimacy to it that you don’t get with a lot of the other programs.”

Holiday Cheer is focused on families with young children, but also serves a significant amount of adults 18 years and older with physical and cognitive impairment and no family support.

The application to become a sponsor is online. Holiday Cheer also gladly accepts donations of cash and gift cards as well as donations from professionals who offer services that could be useful to the clients served.

Wakegov.com/humanservices

Western Wake Crisis Ministry Western Wake Crisis Ministry in Apex operates a food pantry and partners with other organizations to assist the needy with housing, fuel, utility, and prescription medication costs.

Western Wake is building a new location on Olive Chapel Road that will include a larger food pantry, space for educational programs, and computer access for visitors looking for employment resources.

A campaign is underway to raise $10,000 to purchase everything from new refrigerators, freezers and grocery shelving, to computer hardware and new chairs for the lobby. There is a donation button on the organization’s website.

Wwcm.org

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The Center for Volunteer Caregiving The Center for Volunteer Caregiving in Cary works throughout the community to engage volunteers who help improve the lives of seniors, caregivers, and adults with disabilities in Wake County. The volunteer work is divided into three categories – transportation, in-home services and caregiver support.

This organization screens, trains and supports volunteer caregivers and places them with older adults and adults with disabilities who have nonmedical needs. These volunteers help with things like transportation, running errands, and even light housecleaning.

The Center for Volunteer Caregiving will work oneon-one to brighten the holiday season for the seniors it services and has a wish list of items that could make someone’s holiday merry.

The list includes donated holiday house cleanings with a hand-held vacuum left behind, VISA gift cards that can be used for groceries and prescriptions throughout the year, gas cards for the volunteers, small decorated table-top Christmas trees, donations of iPods and iTunes gift cards to create personalized music lists for those with dementia, as well as stockings filled with items like tissues, night-lights, lip balm, fresh fruit and gift cards.

The Center for Volunteer Caregiving’s website has information about how to donate items or money to help senior citizens and adults with disabilities maintain their independence.

Volunteercaregiving.org

Photo © salvationarmycarolinas.org

Salvation Army Angel Tree Cary Towne Center is one of the Wake County locations where the Salvation Army is presenting an Angel Tree. The tree will be loaded with the names of children who are in need of gifts of clothing. The tree is operational from November 20th through December 12th and there are not only opportunities to select an angel from the tree, but the Salvation Army is in search of volunteers to man the station.

More details are available at the Salvation Army of Wake County website.

Salvationarmycarolinas.org

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A Doorway to Hope A Doorway to Hope is a nonprofit based in Cary that supports impoverished working families on the road to self-sufficiency.

A Doorway to Hope give each family it supports a basket filled with household essentials.

This year A Doorway to Hope is partnering with St. Michael School in Cary to collect the items needed for these baskets such as laundry detergent, toilet tissue, dish soap, children’s pain relief medication, and more.

This nonprofit also has an ongoing need for grocery cards for clients, as well as Spanish translators. The website details how to become involved to assist the working poor who are living paycheck-to-paycheck with no resources for extra expenses, and who do not qualify for government assistance.

Adoorwaytohope.org

Opportunities exist all around the community to make the holidays a brighter time for your neighbors. Donations of items, money and volunteer time are all needed and are greatly appreciated. L

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GEMS of Morrisville The Town of Morrisville’s location adjacent to the Research Triangle Park, Raleigh-Durham International Airport and Interstate 40 make it somewhat more of a melting pot than its Western Wake counterparts. With that in mind, Cary Living’s ongoing series of Hidden Gems features several different cultural finds, including where to sign up for salsa lessons or Italian cooking classes, order some vintage aviation décor or savor some unique BBQ flavors.

Story & photos by Dave Droschak

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All photos courtesy of Dave Droshack

Smokey’s

BBQ SHACK Angela and Kevin Mote were under no illusions when they embarked on their first restaurant venture a decade ago along what is now a hustling corridor of Chapel Hill Road near Research Triangle Park.

“We’re in North Carolina, so pulled pork is king,” said Angela, co-owner of Smokey’s BBQ Shack. “But we also do a pork spare rib and something a little different, like a chicken wing that we dry rub and smoke. And our customers from Texas say our beef brisket is the closest to home they can get.”

As a former employee of Nortel, Kevin traveled all over the country sampling the best BBQ he could lay his hands on. So after starting a small catering operation with his wife that they quickly outgrew, the seeds were planted for what was to become the uniqueness of Smokey’s, a 49-seat eatery.

“We took a lot of different styles and combined them,” Angela said. “We like to dry rub AND smoke items, and our sauce is not Eastern and it’s not Western; it is a blend of the two. It works really well for this area because there are a lot of transplants from all over the country, and really from all over the world. We do have some Eastern-style vinegar sauce floating around for the diehards.”

There are plenty of diehards who return to not only sample BBQ but read the clever signs the couple has collected and posted on the walls, windows, doors – or just about any nook or cranny they could find.

“The sign on the front door says ‘Free Insults, Come Get Yours’ and people now walk in the door and say, ‘Where is my insult?’ They are expecting they are going to get something from one of us,” Angela said.

Angela still works a 40-hour week at GlaxoSmithKline, and logs another 30 hours or so at Smokey’s.

“It’s a different level of stress,” she said. “Sure, the restaurant business can get hectic at times, but we try to keep this simple and fun.” caryliving.com | 65

A SIMPLER

TIME

CAPRIFLAVORS

COOKING CLASSES

Who wouldn’t take an Italian cooking class from someone named Titina Vuotto?

Armed with wooden spatulas, virgin olive oil, cloves of garlic, vine-ripe tomatoes and broken English, the 80-yearold Titina shows no signs of slowing down, teaching weekly cooking classes that include five-course meals (and of course some red wine) at Capri Flavors near Prestonwood Country Club off Morrisville Parkway.

Titina, who was born on the island of Capri in the Bay of Naples, and her husband Consentino Vuotto opened the retail store with authentic Italian products, large warehouse and Titina’s kitchen in 2002.

She has taught thousands the finer art of cooking such items as risotto and gnocchi – even homemade lemon liqueur – for more than 15 years. Titina even has her own cookbook titled Sharing the Joy of Good Food.

“I started cooking when I was little with my grandma in Capri,” she said. “We had a restaurant on the beach. When I was five years old, I was already in the kitchen.”

Talk to Titina (who has her own label on several products) for more than five minutes and it’s clear she has a lengthy cooking resume worth tapping into.

“My students cook with me,” Titina said when asked what she likes about teaching. “And then we all sit down and enjoy the meal with a nice bottle of the best Italian wine from Italy. And I love the boys in the kitchen.”

What’s Titina’s No. 1 tip when cooking?

“The ingredients always need to be nice and fresh,” she said. “Everything needs to be of great quality, and of course Italian products.”

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Norman Rockwell would be proud of what Jeff King has accomplished with his nostalgic art, décor and vintage sign business headquartered off International Drive.

Actually, there is no storefront here for A Simpler Time, as King was one of the pioneers of an “online only” sales model for more than 4,000 items that include unique personalized vintage signs, aviation propellers, nautical bells … and so much more.

“With an online business you have to be unique because if you’re selling something that everybody else has it becomes all about price, and eventually nobody is making money,” said King, who does have two brick-and-mortar stores in New Orleans.

Under the umbrella of A Simpler Time is a separate website that specializes in bells, which King says accounts for around $1 million a year in sales.

“We have competition, but once again we do a lot of our own exclusive designs, and we engrave,” he said. “We sell bells to a lot of companies in the Morrisville area or to a business like Whole Foods. There are quite a few companies that buy bells to ring when employees make a big sale.”

King’s “retro site”, which he started 13 years ago, even includes black and white photos of himself, his wife and his employees when they were children.

“It would be difficult to start something like this now because to get to the top of the [search] page there really are no tricks,” King said. “Online traffic is the key.”

Carmen’s

Salsa Classes Carmen’s Cuban Café & Lounge exudes the aroma and flavor of an authentic Cuban restaurant. But the authentic food is just a portion of the attraction here.

Betto Herrera has been teaching salsa classes at Carmen’s for 12 years, turning the restaurant located just off Interstate 40 near the airport into an international dancing hotspot three days a week.

Herrera, who came to the United States from Ecuador in 1996 and landed in North Carolina after a stint in the Marines, has even started baby salsa classes in which moms and infants can swing to the music.

“Three months ago we had our baby Cruz, so I figured why not,” he said. “It’s a way for moms to have fun with their kids, to connect with their kids and also introduce them to Latin culture and dance.”

Herrera’s beginner’s class on Tuesday nights at 7pm normally draw around 30, with an additional 70 more joining for the social after the two-hour salsa lessons.

The baby classes are scheduled each Tuesday at 11:3am, with more advanced adult classes on Monday and Thursday nights.

Who comes to the salsa classes?

“Anybody and everybody,” Herrera said. “All types of backgrounds, ethnicities – people from all walks of life. Some people work in landscaping, and we also have doctors and scientists who come. It’s really cool to see that rainbow of people getting along.

“I love to see that sparkle in their eyes when they nail a step or something that hasn’t clicked before just clicks that day. It’s a great feeling.” L

c

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SHOP local

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Cary, Apex, Morrisville, Fuquay-Varina, Holly Springs support locally-owned, independent businesses

Cary, Apex, Morrisville, Fuquay-Varina, Holly Springs support locally-owned, independent businesses

SHOP local

caryliving.com | 69

SHOP local

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Cary, Apex, Morrisville, Fuquay-Varina, Holly Springs support locally-owned, independent businesses

caryliving.com | 71

cary living

sightings

Photos © Rob Kinnan Photography

Oktoberfest

The second annual Oktoberfest celebration was held at the Koka Booth Amphitheatre on October 3rd and 4th. Event-goers were in high German spirit, dressed in traditional outfits. Music was in the air, as well as the scent of brews, sausage, and fresh pretzels.

Photos courtesy of Schondelfire Station and Fit & Able Productions

The Schondelfire Station Tour Memorial Marathon

Hosted by Bradford’s Ordinary Fire Co., a nonprofit comprised of Cary fiefighters, this September 6th marathon was created in honor of fallen fireman Jon Schodelmayer. Jon died in the line of duty after saving the lives of others for nearly 20 years. He was an ex-marine, husband, and father. The memorial marathon honors Jon’s commitment to serving the community by “doing good things for other people”. The money raised goes towards familes in need.

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Photos © Rob Kinnan Photography

Greek Festival

The North Carolina State Fairgrounds were once again host to the 34th Annual Greek Festival. Pictured is an example of the face painting, pottery for sale, and women ready to participate in a traditional folk dance. The event is sponsered by the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church, and a portion of the proceeds will be donated to Habitat for Humanity of Wake County.

Photos © Rob Kinnan Photography

North Carolina Gourd Festival

The North Carolina State Fairgrounds played host to the 74th Annual NC Gourd Festival on September 12th and 13th. The NC Gourd Society holds meetings at this time, and offers workshops teaching both adults and children gourd decorating projects such as mask making. “Bling” was the theme this year, and it shows in the gourds featured here, complete with jewelry, beads and splattered paint. We didn’t know gourds could be this beautiful!

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Photos © Cary Living

APEX wine & design grand opening

On the night of October 15th, artists and aspiring artists alike gathered at Apex’s brand new Wine & Design, sister studio to the location in Cary. It was a full house for both the ribbon cutting and painting class. Patrons sipped wine or beer while painting along to the guidance of an enthusiastic instructor. They even saved two seats for two members of the Cary Living staff to participate! Thank you!

Photos © Rob Kinnan Photography

Taste of the Triangle

The Carolina Railhawks hosted Taste of the Triangle at WakeMed Soccer Park. The event originated in 2009 and acts as a RailHawks pre-game festival. As in the years before, restaurants, breweries and other vendors throughout the Triangle offered free samples. There was also live music for entertainment.

Photos © Dave Gill Photos © Dave Gill

Green hope high school orchestra

(Top left) The bass section focuses before their performance. (Top right) Three hundred or so students playing the final piece, ‘Can Can’, performed under the bright lights of the crowded stage. (Bottom left) Dr. Kevin Geraldi, associate conductor of Conducting at the University of Greensboro, leads a full ensemble of students in the final performance of the ‘Can Can’ before a packed house. (Bottom right) Palma Rajki smiles as her Dillard Drive Middle School students finish their piece.

Cary Diwali Festival

Held on October 10th at Koka Booth Amphitheatre, the Diwali Festival displayed a beautiful array of dancing and singing talent that brightened the rainy day with flashes of gold (and every color of the rainbow!) (Top left) The 2015 Diwali Cary Board of Directors. (Top right), All dancers finished with a strong flourish. (Bottom left) Mahisasura Mardi and Kubi-Choree Graphee, like many other of the performers, take time to touch up their make-up before stepping onstage (bottom right) Cary Diwali Chairman Gyan Gupta and Cary Mayor Weinbrecht sit with their families during the final show of the evening. caryliving.com | 73

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