February 2012 midnightwriters.webs.com midnight.writers2013@gmail.com
Ask Aphro & Dite
Musings of Hades
Athena’s Corner
To submit questions, please email askaphro@gmail.com. They will remain anonymous!
Valentine’s Day has become a moneymaking scheme, and it really ticks Aphrodite and her son Eros off. Quite understandable. They’re the deities of love. I mean, I would be upset, too, if greedy little berks began offering spots in Elysium in exchange for money, or if they turned my fearsome, undead subjects, like vampires, into lovesick, sparkly – Oh. Wait a minute… Note to self: drag (insert names here) to Fields of Punishment and drown them in glitter. Anyway, I don’t really see the point in Valentine’s Day. Persephone and I know we both love each other. We don’t need frilly pink cards and assorted chocolates that all taste like toothpaste (and Persephone despises mint) to know that. So the mint story. There’s this Naiad named Menthe who, for lack of a better word, is a gold-digger. And I’m the God of Wealth. Now, Aphrodite is still upset about the whole Adonis debacle between her and Persephone (I hate talking about it, so please don’t ask), so she gets Eros to shoot me with one of those effing arrows of love. And Menthe is conveniently there when I recover from getting skewered. This could’ve been the end of my marriage, and Menthe was about to debaucher my poor, innocent self (shut up, Zeus, I can hear you laughing), but Persephone came home just in time to pick up some things she’d forgotten when she went up to visit her mother. Obviously, she was quite pissed, and she promptly turned Menthe into mint. So that is why Persephone hates Mentha spicata. But I never got revenge on that stupid, arrow-happy little twit. Then again, I may or may not have been the one to suggest to the humans that they begin drawing Cupid as a fat baby in diapers.
Graffiti Moon: Beth Crowley, February 2012 Lucy has just graduated from high school and is determined to figure out the secret identity of Shadow, a graffiti artist and her crush. Ed is Shadow, unbeknownst to Lucy, but doesn’t want to reveal himself because he dropped out of high school in tenth grade soon after a date with Lucy that ended badly. In one crazy, chaotic night, Ed and Lucy and their friends all live through many dangerous encounters and discover the importance of love and honesty. Curveball: The Year I Lost My Grip: Jordan Sonnenblick, March 2012 Peter Friedman is a freshman in high school, a formerly amazing pitcher whose arm was ruined in an accident over the summer. His freshman year is going down the tubes, especially with the beautiful girl in his photography class sending mixed signals. With his grandfather’s possible Alzheimer’s on his mind, how is Peter going to survive freshman year without losing his mind? Jordan Sonnenblick delivers yet another book that will have you laughing one minute, and sobbing the next, but learning so much and having a good time the whole way.
Dear Aphrodite, I asked someone out for Valentine’s Day and got turned down. I’ve been kind of depressed and I don’t know how to cheer myself up. Any advice? Sincerely, Heartbroken Dear Heartbroken, I’m so sorry you got turned down. I’m sure you’re an amazing person and the guy is just an idiot. My special recipe for a broken heart = Ben & Jerry’s + good movie. I know I’m supposed to be the Goddess of Love but if he turned you down, he’s definitely not good enough to appreciate you. Just go out with some friends or get a great book you’ve been waiting to read! Do something fun for yourself. Love, Aphro (P.S. The best Ben & Jerry’s flavor is cheesecake brownie!) Dear Aphro & Dite, I have a friend who’s had a crush on a girl for over seven years. She just got a boyfriend and he’s breaking down. He even came to me for advice and someone to talk to, but I have no idea what to do. Help? Sincerely, Cidney Dear Cidney, The most important part here is what you already achieved, making sure you’re there when he needs you. Your help doesn’t need to be profound. Consistency is the key. Seven years is a long time for a crush. You just need to convince him there are other girls out there and he should move on. I doubt the girl or her boyfriend would appreciate it if he kept liking her. Also, if she’s the type of Continued on Pg. 2
Special thanks to Sra. Steele and acknowledgement to Hades, Athena, Hippolyta, and Hermes.