58 Little Things That Have a Big Impact: What's Your MicroTrigger?

58 Little Things That Have a Big Impact What’s Your MicroTrigger?

2ND EDITION

58 Little Things That Have a Big Impact What’s Your MicroTrigger?

2nd Edition Published by Ivy Planning Group, LLC 6701 Democracy Blvd., Suite 300 Bethesda, Maryland 20817 301.963.1669

www.MicroTriggers.com © 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means ---- electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording otherwise --- without the prior written consent of the publisher.

ISBN 978-0-9704152-4-0 Printed in the United States of America Book design by Flightpath

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Table of

Contents...

Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 Why Update the Book Now? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

2

History of MicroTriggers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

3

Insights into MicroTriggers Compared to Microaggressions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

5

MicroTriggers Include Everyone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

7

MicroTriggers: What They Are and What They Are Not . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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MicroTriggers Are Not Just Pet Peeves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

9

Both the Big Things and the Little Things Matter. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Openly Communicating the Impact Can Improve the Workplace . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Demonstrating Leadership. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Is There a Checklist? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Roles and Responsibilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Observers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Receivers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Connection of MicroTriggers to Unconscious Bias . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Senders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Create an Environment for the Conversation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Assume Innocence Versus Malice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Recovery and Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Impact . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Implementation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

28

Discuss Team Norms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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The 58 MicroTriggers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

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Acknowledgements It took a lot of encouragement and nudging to get to MicroTriggers Book 2.0. Clients, Ivy team members, and even strangers have been asking me, “So, when are you going to update the book?” People said, “C’mon Janet, the book mentions Blackberry and Palm. Just fix it already!” Although I’m proud that the concepts in the 2006 book have withstood the test of time, I agree that MicroTrigger 37 needed to be updated to “Looking at a phone or device when talking to you.” Done.

Thank you to more than sixty thousand people who made the first edition a best seller. As a strategy consultant who sometimes gets stuck in the complexity of work – data analysis, strategy development, implementation, and measurement – I took a long pause to understand why that simple little book was so successful. I understand now. It took the topic of subtle behaviors and made it personal. It was a comfort to people who had been wondering to themselves, “Am I alone? Or did this happen to other people too?” It provided specific behavioral examples that people could relate to.

Since the first printing of the first edition, we have conducted more than 500 MicroTriggers workshops, webinars, and speeches that have reached more than 50,000 people. We have collected more than 8,000 MicroTrigger votes via preWork, polling, and eLearning.

One thing I know for sure. People want to be treated well – the way that they define it themselves. And they want to treat others well – the way others define it.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Why update the book now?

What has changed since 2006?

What remains the same?

The pandemic changed the workplace, including some of the MicroTriggers.

MicroTrigger #14, “Always sitting behind their desk when having

conversations with you but moving to the side table or couch for

conversations with them” stopped getting votes in our polling and data

collection. We are retiring it and replacing it with “Assuming that I am not an ally or that I am anti-

[your group]

“ which has become a frequent

conversation in our sessions, especially among White men.

Additionally, Dictionary.com made allyship its 2021 word of the year,

defining it as person who advocates and actively works for the inclusion of

a marginalized or politicized group in all areas of society, not as a member of that group but in solidarity with its struggle and point of view and under

its leadership. Assuming that I’m not an ally or anti-your group sure makes

allyship difficult!

People stopped selecting MicroTrigger #52, “Shaking your hand too

softly, or ….much too hard,” so it was replaced with “Keeping your camera

off during a videoconference.” It’s a sign of the times. The pandemic

caused people to avoid shaking hands for health reasons. Shaking hands became a macro issue, not a micro issue. Meanwhile, videoconferencing

skyrocketed with Zoom meeting participants increasing by 2900% from

2019 to 2022 (Business Insider, 2020). Now “cameras off” versus “cameras on” has become a conversation.

MicroTrigger #44, “Not inviting you to represent the organization at a

company-sponsored event,” has also become a less common MicroTrigger.

The pandemic shifted expectations around networking, with employees

growing more accustomed to virtual representation and new opportunities to engage with the organization. At the same time, societal awareness

around DEI has grown significantly, with greater emphasis on respecting each individual’s unique identity. In response, we are retiring the original version of MicroTrigger #44 and replacing it with “Not taking the time to remember important aspects of your identity,” such as one’s pronouns,

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nationality, sexual orientation, or religion.

People want more data and more stories about MicroTriggers.

Participants in MicroTriggers workshops watch videos that depict some of

the MicroTriggers, and hear the stories of their colleagues as they describe their top MicroTriggers and why they matter to them. Readers of the book

want that too. So, in this edition we have provided just that.

We added more details to describe the MicroTriggers. We included stories taken from MicroTrigger workshops, conversations, and emails to the Ivy

team where people describe MicroTrigger situations – what they are, why they matter to them.

To supplement the anecdotal examples, we also include facts and data

that provide additional context for MicroTriggers, and findings that have

emerged from research on the topic since the first edition was published.

History of MicroTriggers (Chester Pierce, Mary Rowe) The term microaggression was first coined by psychiatrist Chester Pierce,

M.D., in the early 1970s. Dr. Pierce, emeritus professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, described microaggressions as “subtle, stunning, often

automatic, and non-verbal exchanges which are ‘put downs’” (Pierce, Carew, Pierce-Gonzalez, & Willis, 1978). Dr. Pierce’s work was focused on People of

Color. Because they are often unconscious, they can be more difficult to identify and address than overt forms of discrimination. Perpetrators

of microaggressions may not realize the impact of their actions.

Later, MIT professor Mary P. Rowe, Ph.D., coined the term microinequities

to describe the glass-ceiling phenomenon, referring to the real but almost imperceptible forms of discrimination that reinforce the stereotypes

and inequity that persist in the workplace today. Professor Rowe’s work was focused primarily on gender. Others, including Dr. Wesley E. Profit

and Dr. Derald W. Sue continued research on microaggressions and

microinequities. Sue and colleagues (2007) defined microaggressions

as “brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental

indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile,

derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults toward People of Color.”

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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History of Micro Triggers at Ivy Planning Group Ivy Planning Group (Ivy) was introduced to microinequities in the early 1990s when JP Morgan Chase hired Ivy to co-design and conduct

microinequities workshops for its workforce of 30,000+ employees.

After the success of the first microinequity workshops, Ivy started to design and develop similar workshops for other clients based on continuing

research, reflecting their unique industries, environments, and corporate

cultures. With thousands of interactions and discussions around this topic, we learned that participants wanted the microinequities conversation to be a very personal one.

We learned that these subtle behaviors mattered to all kinds of people,

not just women and People of Color. They mattered differently to different

people based on their identities (race, gender, age, function, background,

and more). We conducted additional research to understand which subtle behaviors mattered most to whom. Ivy’s data collection methodologies

included written surveys and facilitated sessions. We met Professor Rowe to better understand her research and conclusions.

Ivy coined the phrase MicroTriggers® to include the subtle behaviors

that matter most to individuals across a broad mix of demographics.

After collecting thousands of data points through workshops, quizzes,

and surveys, the book, 58 little things that have a BIG impact: What’s your

MicroTrigger?®, was born in 2006 to share what we learned. The book, now

a best-seller, lists the top 58 MicroTriggers that people said mattered most to them.

Ivy created an online ballot box to administer the MicroTrigger survey to our clients and collect more data. Ivy has the largest proprietary repository of

information on the subtle behaviors of inclusion, and to whom they matter – by several demographics (gender, race, age, function, industry and more).

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Insights into MicroTriggers Compared to Microaggressions A distinct difference between MicroTriggers and microaggressions is the weight placed on intent. Microaggressions often imply intent, and our

research shows that most often the Sender does not desire to be subtly aggressive or to offend and diminish.

Quite often there is a relationship between preferences, unconscious biases, and subtle behaviors. The Sender may be unaware that they

demonstrate these behaviors with some, but not others. The Sender may be culturally incompetent, thus not understanding how their behaviors are interpreted, nor do they intend to do harm.

There is typically context and

meaning for why someone was triggered in the first place. We all have an individual set of

rules about what constitutes

appropriate and inappropriate

behaviors. We’ve learned these rules through our upbringing,

experiences, culture, and other sources. When another person violates or breaks our rule

around how people should

“ We all have an

individual set of rules about what constitutes appropriate and inappropriate behaviors...

The challenge occurs when we assume everyone is following the same rule book.”

interact, we tell ourselves a

story about what that means.

For example, you might hear

someone say, “Everyone knows

you’re not supposed to restate someone’s words for them,” or “Obviously, you shouldn’t call a woman sweetie,” or “Who doesn’t know that rolling

your eyes at someone is rude?” The challenge occurs when we assume everyone is following the same rule book. There may be a reason why

someone acts and behaves differently than what your personal rulebook says is appropriate.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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There is often a disconnect between the intent behind someone’s

behaviors versus how you interpret their behavior and its impact. The

gap between someone’s intent, based on their rules, versus the impact the behavior has on you, based on your rules, is the root of miscommunication and MicroTriggers.

When someone calls you sweetie, restates words for you, or rolls their eyes at you, you tell yourself a story in your mind about why it happened and what it means. You might interpret the behaviors to mean, “this person

doesn’t respect me,” or “they weren’t raised well.” In MicroTrigger situations, the story we tell ourselves is often negative. The stories aren’t negative

because you are simply a negative person. They’re oftentimes negative because the previous experiences in which the rules were broken were

negative. We apply meaning to present experiences based on our past ones.

When we focus on the trigger – versus the person who sent the trigger –

we can begin to self-reflect before we respond. The person being triggered, i.e., the Receiver, takes ownership of the fact that they are triggered – and

maybe no one else is. Often, this leads to their ability to avoid confrontations

and encourages conversations that allow for separating intent from impact while taking care not to invalidate the feelings of the Receiver or the Sender.

From the vantage point of the Sender, many are unaware that they are triggering others and the ability to have the conversation in a non-judgmental way is enlightening.

For the Observer, acknowledging that each of us can do more to support

our peers can lead to better team cohesiveness and collaboration versus competition with each other.

Regardless of the intent – unconscious bias, cultural incompetence,

ignorance, raised with different rules – the impact matters. It matters a lot.

Our research shows that being triggered, i.e., being a Receiver, can happen unconsciously. Even when we are consciously trying to fight our reaction

to a MicroTrigger, we often fail because of the physiological responses our body has to the stimuli of the trigger.

MicroTriggers focus on actions that can be taken by the Receiver, Sender, and Observer – recognizing that we all play a role in creating and sustaining our work cultures.

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MicroTriggers Include Everyone A key difference between MicroTriggers and microaggressions is that Ivy’s

work from the very beginning has been inclusive. The collection of data on

subtle behaviors came from a mix of people across race, ethnicity, gender,

age, gender identity, religion, function, and other dimensions of diversity. So, MicroTriggers represent the behaviors that matter to a broad mix of people.

While microaggressions typically focus on the Receiver as a member of a historically marginalized group, MicroTriggers are behaviors that can

trigger anyone. There are indeed some MicroTriggers that are more likely to trigger People of Color or women. For example, “referring to me as

articulate,” or “calling me a girl.” There are also some MicroTriggers that are more likely to trigger a White man such as, “Assuming that I am not an ally or that I am anti-_[your group]_.”

Ivy’s work is evidence-based, research-based, tested, and inclusive. We

take great pride in being able to have meaningful discussions around a topic that for some could end up being polarizing.

“ While microaggressions typically

focus on the Receiver as a member of a historically marginalized group, MicroTriggers are behaviors that can trigger anyone.”

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Let’s make it clear. MicroTriggers: What they are, what they are not MicroTriggers ARE:

MicroTriggers ARE NOT:

To understand the difference, ask yourself:

Subtle

Overt!

Could it be reasonable for a Sender to have had no idea their behavior would trigger a reaction?

Could you reasonably assume a Sender’s innocence?

Personal

Universally understood by all.

They do not impact everyone.

Those who are impacted may care for different reasons and with different levels of intensity.

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Is there something about the relationship of the people involved, cultural differences, backgrounds or past experiences that is contributing to this situation?

How does the Receiver complete the sentence: is this happening because I am ?

An inclusive experience

Limited to certain demographics or to certain groups of people.

People of all demographics and backgrounds have MicroTriggers.

Often not the same ones. But we are all Senders, Receivers and Observers.

Little things but have a BIG impact

Simply annoyances.

Could the subtle behavior be perceived to be a symptom of something bigger? For example, gender inequities, systemic racism, disrespect of certain jobs or levels, etc.

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They are not simply pet peeves.

MicroTriggers Are Not Just Pet Peeves, They Are Connected to Macro Issues Fingernails on the blackboard, popping chewing gum, tapping a pen on

the desk – those are pet peeves. They annoy, irk, and irritate, not because they are tied to personal respect and valuing, but simply because they’re annoying. And yes, you don’t like it and wish people wouldn’t do it, but MICROTRIGGERS ARE DIFFERENT FROM PET PEEVES. They are triggering

because they are linked to bigger issues of disrespecting you, devaluing you, and excluding you. MicroTriggers carry much more weight than pet peeves because they are often connected to a macro issue. Yes, the

behavior bothered you, and it may feel like a pet peeve. However, what

makes it a MicroTrigger is that you already had a feeling that someone

didn’t respect your dimension of diversity, so that behavior just confirmed it. Let’s look at a few examples.

(MicroTrigger #12 – Referring to women as “girls” or “gals”) “My company hasn’t had a woman on the senior executive team for

twenty years. More women graduate from college than men. Women have proven that they can do these jobs, but there’s always a lame excuse at

the end for why the woman hasn’t been granted a promotion to the very top here. It’s infuriating. So when a man refers to a grown a** woman as

a girl, it’s my breaking point. If you can’t do the big things, at least get the little things right, buddy. If you can’t treat women with respect, at least speak to them with respect.”

Another person said that they despise the signs in the bathroom at work: “Take only one seat cover. Do not put feminine products in the toilet; use a receptacle.” It’s their MicroTrigger because it is a small thing that is

symptomatic of a bigger thing. “They are treating me like a child who needs to be told how to navigate the bathroom!”

“Management also treats us like children in other ways. They tell us what to do. They are directive versus asking us what we think, expecting us to

think, sharing the vision and then asking us the best way to achieve it our way. The expectation of adults who you respect is to give them a vision and expect that they know their function best.”

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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BOTH the Big Things AND the Little Things Matter Both the small things and the big things are important. Neither can be ignored. For example, when companies wish to recruit a more diverse workforce, where they recruit is a key factor in whether they will be

successful. When recruiting on college campuses, having a presence at

high-caliber schools such as Historically Black College and Universities –

Morehouse and Spelman Colleges in Atlanta, for example – is as important as recruiting at schools such as Harvard or Yale. While where the company recruits is key, it is not enough. Equally important to successfully recruiting the best talent are the “little things.”

Consider the following scenario: You are a part of a team of interviewers and are having a very successful interview with a graduate of Howard

University. The interview is going well, and the candidate, Jonathan, has really been able to sell himself. You are sure that your company is his

first choice and know that your boss is equally impressed. Just then, your boss says, “Jonathan, you’d really fit in here. You bring diversity and you

are so articulate.” Jonathan ignores the comment but looks deflated and

thanks you for your time. After the interview, your boss says that although Jonathan has excellent qualifications, his attitude might not be an asset.

In this scenario the comment, “You’re so articulate” was a negative

MicroTrigger for the candidate. For some, such a comment is a little thing.

Yet in this case, it was important enough to a candidate that it soured the interview—for both the candidate and the prospective employer.

We’ve observed that MicroTrigger #42, “You’re so articulate,” or “You speak so well”, is frequently received as a message of lowered expectations.

People of Color, people born outside the U.S., and people who hold lower-

level jobs have said to us, “How many times have you heard someone say that a White man is articulate?”

While it would be easier to focus on big or little, overt or subtle, focusing on both is significantly more effective. MicroTriggers allow us to have

conversations on the little things so that when the big things eventually

occur, we’ve set a framework for how we’re going to discuss them. A big step is being able to provide feedback when MicroTriggers happen.

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Openly Communicating the Impact of MicroTriggers can Improve the Workplace When I tell you my MicroTrigger, I reveal myself to you. That feedback

is a gift, but it also gives you some power over me. In essence, I tell you

what makes me tick, how I define respect, what’s important to me, and

who is important to me. A great deal of power lies behind the perceived meaning of MicroTriggers. It’s not just the behavior, it’s what it means to you when someone exhibits that behavior. MicroTriggers are an

opportunity to work the feedback muscle so that we can begin to mend our relationships, rather than letting it fester and negatively impact our ability to work together.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Understanding the who, what, and why of MicroTriggers requires

good giving and good receiving. This open communication may not come easy. The triggers that have bounced among a team may have damaged trust in that group. The motivation to give the gift of feedback comes from the hope of improving work

relationships, and improving the workplace. The good news is

that many people are willing to take the plunge. Even if they have tolerated what they feel is unpleasant or unfair treatment, they will “risk” having the MicroTrigger conversation in order to reap future rewards like:

• Being treated with more respect as they define it • Feeling included in ways that are meaningful to them • Knowing that they are contributing to a more inclusive workplace

For example, frequently confusing you with the only other person of a similar demographic (MicroTrigger #32) for some is not simply mistaken identity.

“People are so proud to say, ‘I don’t see color. I treat everyone the same.’ So how the heck are they going to confuse me with Sue,

the only other Asian woman in our whole department? We don’t even look alike! That says to me, ‘that’s all I see when I see you.

You’re just one of those Asian women that we hired. I don’t see you as an individual person.’ That is disrespectful.”

Understanding “why” a little thing has a big impact can be enlightening.

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Demonstrating Leadership Organizations use similar words to describe the leadership competencies and behaviors they believe will create a productive and desirable place to work. Behaviors such as: • Respect • Teamwork • Leadership • Inclusion Yet people sometimes struggle with how to measure leadership

competencies. People say, “I know when it’s there, and I know when it isn’t.”

As the makeup of the workforce continues to change, it is increasingly

important to learn how to self-manage subtle behaviors and to manage those dynamics in a team environment.

Whether you manage hundreds of employees or you are a member of

a team, you demonstrate leadership when you show that you understand the impact of subtle behaviors.

According to the late Judith E. Glaser, an innovative change agent,

consultant and executive coach, human beings share a set of Universal Fears and Desires (see box on the following page).

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Consider the “fear of being excluded (rejected).” Glaser notes that this fear

often prompts people to “create ‘old boy networks’ and exclude others first.”

Never inviting you to join the group for lunch, MicroTrigger #33, may trigger you because of your human desire to be included on a winning team.

Some people may enjoy eating lunch alone at their desk, but for others, not receiving an invitation can make them feel as if they are not part of the team. It’s not the action itself that is troublesome, as everyone has

different preferences; it is the underlying feeling the action can generate often a fear or a desire - that has a BIG impact.

Universal Fears

Universal Desires

Being excluded (rejected) so we

Being included on a winning team.

create “old-boy networks” and exclude others first.

Being judged unfairly... so we

Being appreciated and

Failing... so we avoid taking risks

Being successful.

Losing power... so we intimidate

Being powerful.

Feeling stupid... so we either don’t

Being smart, creative and a

criticize and blame others.

and making mistakes.

others to get power.

speak up or speak too much; or make others stupid.

acknowledged.

contributor.

Looking bad (embarrassed) in

Being a leader with a valued voice.

Having no passion or meaning.

Being important and part of

front of others... so we save face.

something bigger than you alone.

From Creating We: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy, Thriving Organization by Judith E. Glaser 14

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Is There a Checklist?

I am sometimes asked for a list of the top five or ten MicroTriggers. People want a playbook: Avoid these words, these behaviors, and you’re done. It

is not that simple. I do recommend that you learn and share your team’s MicroTriggers, but you must be careful to include the MicroTriggers that

don’t make the top ten list, yet are important to an individual in your group.

If you take this topic seriously, then you should be willing to take the time to understand the nuances and to spend time with each team member. The

“check off a list” approach won’t work for this. It requires a commitment to take the time to learn about yourself and your colleagues.

Roles and Responsibilities MicroTriggers happen. When they do, what do you do? Make yourself

responsible and hold yourself accountable for making a move, for taking

an action, for doing something. What you do depends upon your role: are you the Sender of the MicroTrigger, the Receiver of the MicroTrigger, or an Observer of what took place?

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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The Three Roles

RECEIVERS

OBSERVERS

SENDERS

The Receiver is the person who is the recipient of the MicroTrigger and is the one who is most directly impacted. The Sender is the person who produces the MicroTrigger. The Sender may or may not be aware that they have sent it, but their actions could still impact Receivers or Observers. The Observer is anyone who is present, but not directly involved while a MicroTrigger

occurs. There can be more than one Observer depending on the situation, or sometimes there are no Observers at all. Ivy’s R.O.I. Reaction Model

provides a structure so that Receivers, Senders, and Observers will be able to answer key questions.

R stands for Reflect – Reflection is all about having insight into both your emotions and the emotions of others.

O stands for Ownership – Ownership means taking personal responsibility and holding yourself accountable for managing MicroTriggers.

I stands for Include – Include reminds us that the actions we take to

address a conflict should always be geared towards embracing and

respecting others. Just as each of the three roles had a different part to play in a MicroTrigger situation, each role also has a unique way of using the R.O.I. model.

Observers This is the best role to begin with, because we will likely observe many

more MicroTriggers over the course of our careers than we will ever directly

receive or send. As a result, this is the role we are all most commonly going to find ourselves playing and needing to understand.

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For example, imagine you’re in a meeting and your colleague continues

to be interrupted (MicroTrigger #2). As an Observer, what should you do?

Stage One is Reflect. Observers need to Reflect so that they can maintain an objective and unbiased view of the MicroTrigger. Observers should consider the following reflection questions. Do you: • Think it isn’t worth the hassle to acknowledge the behavior or say anything about it?

• Worry you will be seen as a troublemaker?

• Think the message could actually be one

of your own MicroTriggers but not the Receiver’s?

• Believe that saying something might impact your own position?

• Sometimes ignore MicroTriggers sent by others because they are the same ones that you send?

The next stage is Ownership. Observers need to take Ownership of MicroTriggers because of their unique ability to provide support to

Receivers. As Receivers are the ones who have been most impacted

by the MicroTrigger, they shouldn’t be further burdened by the weight

of having to single-handedly call out what happened. Observers can best take Ownership and support Receivers by giving B.A.C.K.U.P. Be aware of your motivation to get involved.

Ask the Receiver if and/or how they want you to help.

Consider the most effective way to address the MicroTriggers you observe.

Keep an objective perspective.

Understand the power of the Observer.

Provide feedback to both the Sender and Receiver and encourage them to talk to each other directly, if appropriate.

Of course, the role of the Observer is only possible if they’re able to

recognize the MicroTrigger. Each day, practice becoming mindful of your own MicroTriggers, and the others that are described in this book. If you are wondering whether you have witnessed a MicroTrigger, do not be

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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afraid to confirm with the Receiver before giving B.A.C.K.U.P. Because they are often more objective and perhaps neutral, Observers

often have the greatest opportunity to Include. This is so crucial because Observers can extend themselves to Receivers who may now feel

alienated and excluded from their team or organization. Discuss with your

colleagues that you are willing to take action if you observe MicroTriggers.

This is helpful because, sometimes, Receivers have become so weary

or desensitized to repeated MicroTriggers that they may not speak up

for themselves. Still, we should be mindful by asking those involved with

MicroTriggers how they prefer to be communicated with either as Receivers or Senders. Discussing and developing team norms before situations occur makes this process much more effective.

Ultimately, Observers are often the best role for pointing out MicroTriggers and can help the most by maintaining an unbiased, clear, and objective perspective of what is needed for their colleagues, their team, and their organization.

Receivers As Receivers enter stage one, Reflect, it is helpful to pause and take time to

think about exactly what has hurt us, or what concerns us, and what can be done to fix the problem. Think about your own personal MicroTriggers and ask yourself these important questions:

1. Do you know why certain behaviors are your personal MicroTriggers?

2. How does being the Receiver make you feel?

3. Do you blame yourself, the Sender, or both when MicroTriggers happen?

4. Are you worried that saying something might make things worse?

5. Are you triggered by some Senders and not by others?

6. Do you often receive MicroTriggers, or is this a new experience?

7. Do you attribute the MicroTrigger to larger, systemic problems within your organization, or to smaller, interpersonal tensions?

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The next stage is Ownership. While we might assume that Senders and

Observers are the only ones who need to own MicroTriggers, Receivers can take Ownership as well. When Receivers own their role in the MicroTrigger,

they move from viewing themselves as victims. They become empowered to control the narrative of what happened and communicate ways to

prevent it from happening again in the future. In this stage, Receivers should S.P.E.A.K. U.P.

Select the most effective time to discuss the MicroTrigger.

Point out the impact the MicroTrigger had on your performance.

Explain the MicroTrigger using specific examples.

Ask for clarification of the Sender’s intent.

Keep the focus on the workplace impact rather than make things personal.

Use “I statements” to express your feelings.

Provide suggestions on ways the Sender can communicate their intent without triggering you.

Perhaps you are thinking, “I can’t speak up in my organization . Nobody

here will support me, and I’d just make people angry.” Unfortunately, that feeling is all too common. You must evaluate the psychological safety of your environment. Part of this journey is working to create or to improve

your workplace culture and create a space where everyone is comfortable in sharing their feelings.

The last stage, Include, is important because it helps Receivers to take our preparation and use it to make concrete actions that will produce

meaningful change. When it’s time to Include, consider who you should speak to about the MicroTrigger. Your boss? Or maybe the Sender?

You could also talk to Observers. Sometimes we might feel inclined to

immediately speak with HR. In some cases, this is an appropriate response.

But if possible, speaking to our Senders will be more beneficial in the long

run, as we create a workplace culture where it is safe to have courageous conversations.

Sometimes we may not feel comfortable speaking directly to our Sender. © 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Perhaps our Sender is our boss. Do your best to Include those who will help most to resolve the problem, and in the end, trust your gut. As Receivers, you know better than anyone how a solution can be reached.

Once it is time to talk, be prepared to teach others how you prefer to be

treated. It is vital that as Receivers we strive to assume innocence before malice. This means taking a solution-focused approach to challenges

rather than a suspicious one and giving others the benefit of the doubt.

Sometimes, it might be your own assumption that the Sender’s intent is malicious that causes you to be triggered.

Receivers who use the R.O.I. model can be a powerful force for good in their organization, as they hold the power to initiate productive conversations that diffuse tensions and promote a better performing team.

And if you decide not to S.P.E.A.K. U.P., be careful to avoid internalizing the devaluing MicroTriggers. Instead use positive self-talk to protect your self-

esteem. For example, “It’s okay to feel hurt or upset by what just happened.

My feelings are valid.”

The Connection of MicroTriggers to Unconscious Bias Even when you hold conscious thoughts that all people are equal,

unconscious bias can unknowingly cause you to act contrary to this

belief. Regardless of our age, background, or life experiences, we all have unconscious biases that may impact how we say or do things when we

interact with others. So, our biases leak out, often in non-verbal behavior:

our expressions, our stance, how far away we stand, how much eye contact we make. Indeed, we can manifest our biases in subtle ways, which brings us to MicroTriggers.

Senders As the origin of the MicroTrigger, Senders have an even greater responsibility to work toward a resolution.

Starting with Stage One, Senders need to Reflect. Even though we never 20

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intended to hurt anyone, this is an important time to calmly assess what happened and make sure we don’t react defensively. After all, feeling

defensive is a natural reaction. When we are told we sent a MicroTrigger,

we are caught off guard, and the surprise often leaves us feeling vulnerable.

As you Reflect, think about the habits you have when interacting with others.

Are you fair and respectful? Do you give clear and constructive feedback, or do you use smaller, more passive aggressive signals to communicate your feelings? How do your words, tone, or body language make others feel?

In stage two, Senders take Ownership of their behaviors. Taking

responsibility for your actions is often an important step toward repairing a damaged relationship with the Receiver and the Observers. To accomplish this, follow the Six A’s of Accountability:

1. Acknowledge that you send MicroTriggers,

even though you might send them unconsciously.

2. Articulate your intent.

3. Ask about and recognize the impact of your actions.

4. Admit when you are unsure of how to communicate with others most effectively.

5. Avoid invalidating the impact of MicroTriggers.

6. Apologize for sending the MicroTrigger.

In the last stage, Include, Senders take a final moment to consider how you

could be more Inclusive. Often this takes the shape of building more sincere relationships with your colleagues and building a reputation of being open

to feedback. Actively seek out constructive criticism and go out of your way to start honest conversations about how you might be able to improve.

There are many benefits this stronger relationship will have, but it is also

important because it will empower others to feel comfortable in telling you about the MicroTriggers you send without fear of angering you. Sometimes our harmful behaviors can be hard habits to break. This is why we need all the help we can get.

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Create an Environment for the Conversation How liberating it can be to tell someone, “That’s my MicroTrigger!” Like taking a tiny pebble out of our shoe, it’s getting rid of a little thing that’s been very

annoying. A manager said, “I have incorrectly been calling Lisa by the name Tina for the last nine months. Finally, someone corrected me.” Imagine

how Lisa had been feeling. And why did it take nine months for someone to correct the manager?! Think back to Glaser’s table of Universal Fears and Desires; It’s possible that no one spoke up due to fear.

Your colleagues will not tell you that you have triggered them if they fear

that you will not receive it well. Their fears include fear of conflict, retaliation, hurting feelings, people thinking they are a whiner… To make this work,

each member of the organization must help to create an environment for conversation.

Give the group permission to have the conversation. Acknowledge that the conversation can be challenging, but that the rewards are worth it.

Create a signaling system. When you introduce language, such as “That’s a MicroTrigger!” and “That’s my MicroTrigger!” then it becomes easier to

discuss sensitive topics. Over time, the conversations will become a normal part of your team’s culture.

Assume Innocence Versus Malice This means taking a solution-focused approach to challenges rather than a suspicious one and giving others the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, it might be your own assumption that the Sender’s intent is malicious that

causes you to be triggered. Maybe, for example, you are triggered by some Senders but not by others when they exhibit the same behavior. Consider your biases or assumptions about others and assume innocence rather than malice if possible.

Forgiveness and recovery. Moving forward to a better place will require learning how to do two things: how to forgive and how to recover.

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Recovery and Forgiveness A critical and often overlooked aspect of any successful journey to

inclusion is the ability to recover. The world is increasingly becoming more

complicated and diverse. Our lack of familiarity with difference means that we now have more opportunities to make mistakes. Perfection should not

even be the goal. It must be safe to make mistakes and we will learn from each other when we do. To establish an environment where we improve

our relationships by learning more about each other, we must be willing to forgive each other when they happen. We must be able to recover.

Recovery So what are the critical aspects of recovery? Why does it matter so much?

It matters because if the price of making a mistake is that you end up in a permanent penalty box, no one will take the chance to engage. The price will simply be too high. There has to be a means by which all parties –

Sender, Receiver, and Observer - can agree that something unfortunate and potentially inappropriate did happen, but that our relationship can

in fact withstand it. That in fact our relationship is bigger than the mistake.

So what are the rules of engagement for recovery?

• The relationship is the most important thing • I must assume innocence. You did not set out to harm me, even if that’s what happened

• The full body of work – multiple interactions – has to carry more weight than any individual occurrence

• I have to put in the time with you to build an understanding of our body of work

• Our ability to communicate is key, even when we are in conflict and disagreement

• Our relationship requires a shared desire to learn and grow • I can test my learning against a broader community, but I cannot generalize and assume that what I know applies to all

So how do we recover from sending a MicroTrigger that impacts someone in a meaningful way?

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Begin with the Six A’s of Accountability (page 21).

Make clear efforts to repair the damage, commit to not doing it again, and honor your commitment. This can be difficult if this is a behavioral pattern for you. Take the time to understand your patterns, why you exhibit this

behavior, so you can prevent sending it again. Demonstrate through your actions that you want to improve your behaviors and build a relationship with the person you triggered.

Seek to understand the “why” behind the Receiver or Observer’s

MicroTrigger. Seek to understand how your actions impacted others. That knowledge may give you the empathy you need to self-monitor your behaviors.

Learn from the mistake. Take the time to reflect on what went wrong and why. Identify the factors that led to the mistake and think about how you can prevent similar errors in the future.

Identify support systems such as an accountability buddy. Identify people

who have a good understanding of the MicroTrigger from the perspective of

the Receiver. Ask for assistance in understanding how your words, tone, and behaviors are received so you make improvements. Until your relationship has improved, you may need to give the offended person time and space to process their emotions and decide how they want to move forward. So, identifying another person as your buddy is a good approach.

Forgiveness When you are impacted as the Receiver or Observer of a MicroTrigger,

forgiving the Sender may be the last thing on your mind. After all, you are triggered, but not forgiving can do harm to your mental, emotional, and

physical well-being. Taking steps to forgive can be empowering, decrease stress, and improve relationships.

Begin by acknowledging and processing your feelings of anger, hurt, and resentment. Reflect to better understand how you process group versus

individual dynamics. To what degree do you ascribe (believe), that whole

groups of people are a certain way? Are all men sexist or just some men?

When confronted by bad behavior is it seen as rare, unusual, and unlikely,

or yep there it is, men behaving badly, just like I thought? It is critical as part of assessing your capacity to forgive, to determine what stories you carry 24

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inside of you and how you explain the world. Do you tend to judge the group, or do you treat the world as a series of individual interactions? It matters.

Consider what allows an individual to get outside of their group “enough”

for you to forgive them. For example, I know someone who is hypersensitive

to being interrupted when they are speaking, but not really. It turns out when people who are their peers (race, age, gender) interrupt them, it is okay.

That is just spirited dialogue. But when interrupted by people who are not

their peers, they find it to be rude and inappropriate. That is insider-outsider.

Who are the people that we allow to break our rules? What concessions

do we allow them? These are the steps to forgiveness and recovery. Know

thyself, evaluate how you feel about people that are different from you, and ultimately pay attention to who gets to break your rules.

Next, seek to understand the “why” behind the Sender’s behavior. Try to

understand the situation from the Sender’s perspective. That knowledge may give you the empathy you need to move toward forgiveness. After you have reflected on the situation, and are ready to have a respectful

conversation, express your feelings to the Sender. Communicate without

placing blame. Share how you interpreted the meaning of their words and actions, and how it impacted you. Discuss the desired words, actions, and behaviors that you expect in the future.

Make clear efforts to move forward. Remember that forgiving is

advantageous to you, and your health. Approach the future with a spirit

of positive intent. Try to understand that it may take time for the Sender to

change their behavioral patterns. Decide how many times the Sender can be a repeat offender before you disengage the relationship.

Identify support systems to assist you in the forgiveness process. Identify people who have a good understanding of the MicroTrigger from the

perspective of the Sender. Ask for assistance in learning how to see a different view, rebuild trust, and move toward positive outcomes.

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Impact Throughout the day, we’re constantly getting these subtle messages and

comparing the behavior to how other people around us are being treated

because we want to be treated fairly. We are keeping score and attributing meaning to why someone is deciding to behave this way with us and not someone else.

A very common MicroTrigger is interrupting someone. We pay attention to trends, so we notice that they will only interrupt us, or this group of

people, but not this group of people. It’s personal so we fill in the blank

about whether this is happening for a specific reason, and this could be any demographic or dimensions of diversity, such as my job function/

level or my age. Then you begin to explain it to yourself and tell a story: “this is happening because I’m the youngest person on the team.” Or

the comparison: “they don’t interrupt my manager, only me! I notice you

only do it with me.” Or “I notice you wait for others to finish before talking.

Why do you do it with me then?” People are keeping score and noticing the patterns. Someone has been interrupting you over and over, day-to-day, and it seems like you’re invisible, and there’s an impact.

When we come to work, we all bring currency, and no, I don’t mean cash. We

bring things that matter to the workplace, like friendliness, tips for improving efficiency, and new creative ideas. You can choose to bring it or withhold it.

Everybody is bringing something to their organization and for some people, triggered or not, they will give it. But for some, it impacts their ability to do their job. It can impact their enthusiasm for the job, their willingness to communicate, or their ability to trust their coworkers.

“ We are keeping score and

attributing meaning to why someone is deciding to behave this way with us and not someone else.”

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Ivy engaged an independent research firm to survey U.S. workers about their experiences with DEI in the workplace, including the

impact of MicroTriggers. Responses from 976 U.S. workers revealed the following insights:

Of employees who experience MicroTriggers at work:

78%

83%

and motivated.

is as important as addressing

feel less engaged

say addressing MicroTriggers overt discrimination.

84%

65%

negatively impact their

a job due to the frequency

feel that MicroTriggers mental health.

have considered leaving of MicroTriggers.

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Implementation To implement a workplace culture where employees understand and take accountability for reducing MicroTriggers, all members of the organization will have to participate. Some key responsibilities are outlined in the following tables:

TEAM RESPONSIBILITIES Take a class on MicroTriggers

Participate in a training session to understand what MicroTriggers are and their impact.

Learn your team members' MicroTriggers

Have discussions to identify specific MicroTriggers experienced by team members.

Create team norms

Collaboratively establish norms within each team to prevent and address MicroTriggers.

Monitor progress

Conduct regular check-ins to ensure adherence to the established norms and make necessary adjustments.

Check-in

Maintain ongoing communication to address concerns and reinforce positive behaviors.

LEADER RESPONSIBILITIES

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Compare notes

Share and learn each other’s team norms to foster broader understanding and consistency.

Report to Leadership

Relay findings and progress to leadership for further discussion and alignment.

Leadership to discuss and align

Convene to discuss team leaders’ reports and agree on best practices for the entire organization.

Announce the norms

Communicate the established norms to all employees, emphasizing the goal of a positive and respectful environment at all levels—team, regional, division, and company-wide.

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Discuss Team Norms One of the best things that you can do is to discuss your team’s norms and guidelines for the roles of the Observer, Receiver, and Sender in

addressing these subtle behaviors. Your team’s preferences for addressing MicroTriggers and the organizational culture will drive these decisions.

For example:

Do you want to address these behaviors in the moment (in public) or later (in private)? Consider the tradeoffs of diffusing the matter immediately versus delaying it. Practice how to address the Sender in a way that is

respectful while providing clarity around what the behavior was and why it mattered.

Do position or hierarchy matter? In some organizations, no one is allowed to give public feedback to the boss. In others, the boss gives permission, in fact, makes a request that anyone let them know when they have sent a MicroTrigger. These cultures tend to be the most psychologically safe.

What would make it safer to speak up? Beyond permission from the

boss to speak up, what organizational norms must be created, or which unwritten rules must be revealed and then ditched?

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The pages that follow list the 58 MicroTriggers They are not in priority order. They are in the same order as in the 1st edition of the book.

We have also added more details to describe the MicroTriggers.

Now more than ever people want to develop relationships with people who are different from them. They also fear making a

mistake when they are interacting with different people. They

don’t want to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. We’ve learned that people want more insights. This edition provides additional information.

LOOK OUT FOR THESE SYMBOLS Stories taken from MicroTrigger workshops, conversations, and emails to the Ivy team where people describe MicroTrigger situations – what they are, why they matter to them.

Research, data, and facts that provide additional context for the MicroTriggers

Links to Ivy’s video library that depict MicroTriggers.

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1

Not speaking to you Your co-worker comes in every morning and spends time greeting and talking with other

co-workers but never says anything to you – not even a hello.

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Here’s a great example of MicroTriggers being very

personal. Not speaking to you is one of those MicroTriggers where I see 180-degree polarity. People either care a lot or not at all.

How can a person walk down the hall, look me in the eye,

and not say anything? I would find it impossible not to speak. And yet that’s my experience at work. To me it is an act of willful disrespect.

That’s a story that I hear in almost every MicroTrigger class. But I also

watch others in the classroom express complete and total surprise that not speaking matters. The exchange then goes something like this:

“On any given day, I might walk past you 5 times. Do you expect me to speak every time I see you?”

“Of course I do. Are you rationing out hellos? What does it cost you to be respectful?”

“Wow. I had no idea. I will work on that.”

The conversation then moves to whether you would speak to a powerful person each time if you were lucky enough to see them 5 times in one

day. That helps people to understand that they often make choices about these things.

Here’s another perspective on this MicroTrigger: I operate the office supply counter at work. I am so

offended when someone walks up and makes a request of me without saying hello first. They walk up and say, “I need a ream of paper.” Sometimes I respond, “Good morning,

Shirley. I’d like a ream of paper please. Oh, no problem, I’ll go see if we

have any,” and then I just walk away. And yes, I take my time looking for that ream of paper!

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2

Interrupting you You notice that when you are speaking, whether in a meeting or during general

conversation, your co-worker cuts you off mid-sentence and does not let you finish your thoughts.

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I have weekly meetings with my team and one of my coworkers often interrupts me mid-sentence and doesn’t apologize or acknowledge it. He

never interrupts anyone else, but I feel like I’m

always getting cut-off before I’m done speaking.

It’s really frustrating and makes me feel like he doesn’t care about what I have to say.

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3

Leaving your name off the e-mail distribution list

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If you’re like me, you already get too much email.

But in my office, information is power. And email is the preferred way to communicate.

I’ve noticed that if you’re an insider you get the

important emails. But outsiders like me are often left out “by mistake.”

I didn’t grow up in this company. I was a lateral

hire. So I get angry when I miss out on important information. Sometimes I wonder how my

colleagues will know something and I don’t.

I ask, “When did they tell us that?” They will reference an email that I didn’t receive.

I feel left out, and I’m also embarrassed to be an outsider.

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4

Questioning your qualifications You contribute your comments and

suggestions. The response? “Great idea.

Did you think of that yourself?”

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I’m in my 20s, so I have been exposed to technology for as long as I can remember. I feel like I was born with a smart phone in my hand.

So no one was surprised when I chose technology for my profession. I have written 8 apps, am tech fluent, and I’m committed to keeping my knowledge and skills leading edge.

When I saw a posting for a developer job at a large

company that I admired, I applied. I thought it would be exciting to work at a company that could deploy artificial intelligence in ways that would impact the global footprint. The job commanded a very high

salary because the technology was brand new and

very few people had the expertise. I was grateful that I had decided to invest in learning it. I was excited when I landed the job.

When I joined, I noticed that I was one of the youngest members of my team.

When my supervisor announced me at a staff

meeting, one of my colleagues said, “How did you get this job? You’re only 5 years out of college? You must be dating the boss’ daughter.” Everyone laughed.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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5

Not introducing you

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Imagine this: You’re in the workplace and having

a conversation with your manager as a meeting just lets out. Suddenly, another colleague arrives, who

you don’t know, and begins talking to your manager about a new project they’re starting. Instead of your manager taking the time to introduce you, they

simply pretend like you don’t exist. The conversation isn’t that long but you don’t know the other person.

It’s awkward because you’re just standing there, and it would be a great opportunity to meet someone else who works at your organization.

The conversation finally ends, and your manager looks back at you and says, “sorry about that but where were we?”

Your mind is racing because your manager didn’t

introduce you and they clearly have no idea. Then you start to question why. Why am I not worthy of

an introduction? Is it because of my job function? Is it something else? If I were someone else would my

manager had been willing to take 5 seconds to say,

“oh by the way this is Jim. Jim, meet Sarah! She works on the 5th floor in accounting.”

The next few hours are ruined because you can’t

focus on your job, only that your manager didn’t think you mattered enough to introduce you to another employee.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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6

Frequently asking you questions about your demographic as if you are the expert

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I grew up in a neighborhood where I was usually the only African American student in my elementary school classes. I always dreaded Social Studies

when it was time to study U.S. History and anything pertaining to slavery. My classmates would look at

me during discussions and question me as if I was supposed to be the expert on slavery. I was also

disturbed that the teachers allowed it to happen.

It is frustrating that as an adult I have similar

experiences. During a meeting, the topic of Black Lives Matter, George Floyd murder, and social justice came up. As an executive team, we discussed if/what/how

we should communicate to our workforce about these matters. Whether we should take a position versus

say nothing at all. I was the only African American in the room.

My White colleagues asked me, “How will our Black

employees respond to this approach? What are Black people saying about Black Lives Matter these days?”

I laughed it off and said, “I’ll be back to you on that after our Thursday night All Black People in the Country meeting.”

But in all seriousness, these types of questions

happen often and it’s frustrating because no one

person can speak for an entire group. I can however give my opinion on how I feel as a Black individual.

It’s exhausting to be expected to speak for an entire group of people simply because I fall into that demographic.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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7

Never remembering your name Or (having met you several times

before) never remembering that they have met you

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What has emerged as one of the most discussed topics during

MicroTriggers classes? NAMES. Not only is it a popular topic, it is also an emotional one. Names are personal. They’ve been with us all our

lives, or handed to us when we said, “I do!” to the loves of our lives, or

changed because of another life event. Bottom line – names matter.

And many of us are (unknowingly?) making “name errors” that are causing harm to others. [See also MicroTrigger #27, Calling you by a nickname they created for you]

How can my supervisor not know my name?

I’ve worked here for almost a year. Yes, we are a

virtual team, but so what? He has 10 direct reports.

And for some reason he goes blank when it’s

time to say my name. On a recent skype call, he wanted to refer to a comment I made. He said,

“I agree with….. [pause, pause, weird expression] … what he said, we should absolutely…”

Even my colleagues have noticed it. Maybe it’s

something about him. Maybe something about me. It’s ridiculous.

It can be difficult to remember the name of

everyone you work with, but when it comes to

remembering the name of your supervisor, an

executive, or CEO, it’s not an issue. That’s the issue.

We’re always keeping score and depending on

the person, their role, and how much power they have, it impacts our behaviors.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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8

Responding to your question with,“Didn’t you read your email?” rather than simply answering your question

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You’re helpful with other people, but when I ask, you refer me to email. Why?

Imagine that the CEO asked the same question.

Would you still respond with, “didn’t you read your email?” Exactly!

If you have sent this MicroTrigger, this is an opportunity to employ Ivy’s R.O.I. Reaction Model:

Reflect: What assumptions were you making about the person to whom you directed to an email? In retrospect, when were your assumptions correct? Incorrect? How was the work relationship impacted?

Own: If you have sent this MicroTrigger recently, follow the Six A’s of Accountability (i.e., Acknowledge you sent the MicroTrigger, Articulate your intent, Ask about the impact of your actions,

Admit that you were unsure of how to communicate effectively, Avoid invalidating the impact of MicroTrigger, and Apologize.

If you have sent this MicroTrigger in the past, walk through the Six A’s and think about how you would have completed each one at the time.

Include: Work on building a more sincere relationship with your colleague(s) and being open to feedback.

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9

Taking phone calls during a meeting with you

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When one person was giving a presentation, my co-worker silenced his phone. When it was my turn to present, my co-worker answered his phone. What’s up with that?

WATCH VIDEO

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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10

Never asking, “How was your weekend?” inquiring about your family or showing that they care about your personal interests

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I don’t necessarily want to tell you everything about my personal life. But it’s very noticeable when you show interest in others, but not me.

WATCH VIDEO

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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11

Singling you out to ask for your…

• Employee I.D.

• Driver’s License • Boarding Pass

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I’m a contractor at a government agency. Many offices are very serious about their security. Even though I go to their buildings

frequently, the security guards require that I show my badge before I am allowed to get on the elevators to go upstairs. But some

buildings are more lax. Those security guards recognize me, wave hello, and allow me to proceed to the elevators without showing them any identification.

However, I’ve noticed that one of my colleagues doesn’t have it so

good. He always gets stopped and asked to show his badge, even though he goes to those buildings as often as I do. It’s so bad that if I know I don’t have my badge with me that day, I make sure not

to walk in with him because I don’t want him to attract the guard’s

attention and mess me up too! Being stopped by the guard without a badge could delay me 15-20 minutes and make me late for a meeting.

We talked about the situation once and he said that he thinks he always gets stopped because he’s a dark-skinned man. “That is awful” I said.

A report by DealAid.org found that 90% of African Americans surveyed had experienced racial profiling in retail settings.

The experiences include being followed around the store, ignored by staff, or subjected to increased scrutiny and surveillance compared to other customers.

Similarly, according to a Gallup study in 2021, 35% of Black people said they were treated less fairly due to their race while shopping (Gallup, n.d.).

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12

Referring to women as “girls” or “gals”

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My company hasn’t had a woman on the senior executive

team for twenty years. More women graduate from college

than men. Women have proven that they can do these jobs.

But there’s always a weak excuse for why the woman hasn’t been granted a promotion to the very top here. It’s

infuriating. So when a man refers to a grown woman as a

girl, it’s my breaking point. If you can’t do the big things, at

least get the little things right. If you can’t treat women with respect, at least speak to them with respect.

Associate Professor Rae Cooper from the University

of Sydney’s Business School said the #WordsAtWork

campaign was a positive initiative because it would put

the importance of using inclusive language on business

leaders’ agenda. “It’s about challenging stereotypes; it’s

about challenging the assumptions we have about who’s a leader or who’s a contributor in the workplace,” Ms. Cooper told ABC News.

Referring to women as “girls”, Ms. Cooper said, was sexist

and inappropriate for the workplace because it was often

used to exclude and demean women. “Being ‘girled’ at work … is a way of subtly differentiating women from their male colleagues. It’s about infantilizing them, in a way. You’re

making them more like children, or they’re somehow less mature than others,” she said. “You don’t hear [people

referring to] ‘boys’ in the same way that you hear [the term] ‘girls’ used in the workplace.”

A good way to evaluate your behavior is to ask yourself, “Would I

say/do something comparable to a person in power?” For example, would I refer to my male CEO as a boy? Would I keep typing on my smartphone when I’m in a conversation with my Executive Vice President? Would I mansplain my boss?

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Restating your words for you

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I work at the customer service desk in a retail store. Today a customer tried to return a bag full of items that they

purchased last summer. She handed me the receipt that showed a purchase date of August 15. I said, “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we cannot accept returns after 30 days.” The customer said, “but I have a receipt.”

“Yes ma’am. I understand. And the receipt shows that you

purchased these items in August, 120 days ago. We cannot

accept returns after 30 days.” The customer got louder and shouted, “that’s not fair.”

One of my co-workers, who was standing next to me,

helping another customer, chimed in and said, “Ma’am you bought your stuff 4 months ago. You can’t return it after a month.”

I wondered why it wasn’t enough when I said it.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Assuming that I am not an ally or that I am anti-[your group] The word assume is fraught with risk. Perfect

example – assuming that I am not an ally or that I am anti your group.

I’ve noticed in my work at Ivy that a White consultant sometimes gets harsher pushback and feedback from clients. Inside Ivy we refer to it as the “traitor syndrome.” People who question why are you on

“their” side? Aren’t you supposed to be on “our” side?

Alan, a White male Ivy Executive Consultant who

has been at our firm more than 25 years, puts it this way: “I know that some people will automatically

question my motivations to support DEI, may think I am likely part of the problem, or will assume that I am not part of the solution. It comes with being a White man. I’m not always happy with it. But I understand it.”

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We also hear this concern from White men in DEI assessment focus groups, and from straight people who attend LGBTQ+ Employee Resource Group events. When someone wants to be an ally, to

support, and to be part of positive change, having to “prove” oneself can be discouraging, off-putting, and downright offensive.

During a client team discussion about gender identity, someone was asked why they care about issues that don’t directly impact them.

They replied, “Why would I not care? Actually, how could I not care?”

You don’t have to be to care.

Dictionary.com made Allyship its 2021 word of the year, defining it as person who advocates and actively works for the inclusion

of a marginalized or politicized group in all areas of society, not as

a member of that group but in solidarity with its struggle and point of view and under its leadership.

Allyship means actively working, not being silent, not being passive.

It takes commitment, sacrifice, and action. Even if you’ve been

harmed in the past, even if you’ve duped before, why not assume innocence versus malice? The harvest can be plentiful, but the laborers are few. So assume goodness. Lock arms. Then judge people by their actions.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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15

Asking someone else the same question that you just answered for them

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I think it makes sense to get a second opinion. But I’ve

noticed that my supervisor consistently asks for a second opinion on my advice. Even though my advice is on point, I’m starting to question myself.

There’s a name for people who seek multiple opinions even after you just provided an answer: Answer Shoppers. They are not always well received.

Research shows that despite the popularity of the wisdom of crowds and being told that we should seek second

and third opinions, people who were in a group of several

advisors (1 of several who are asked for their opinion) rated

the advice seeker as less competent, later felt more socially distant to them, and were less interested in advising them in the future (Blunden et al., 2019).

The researchers suggested that advice seekers should clarify their reason for soliciting advice (“I am hoping

to explore all my options”) may help set the tone for the discussion and expectations for the actions you take in the future.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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16

Speaking more slowly or loudly to you than to others

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As a teenager, I had a bad accident, and was confined to a

wheelchair for several months as my body healed. I noticed that people talked to me completely different than before.

They. Spoke. Very. Slowly. And they spoke loudly. Often there would also be a tone of voice that was oddly upbeat. I wanted to say – hello, I am in a wheelchair. I’m not confused, and I’m not hard of hearing!

Penny Anderson, a contributor writer to The Guardian ,wrote, “It’s a tone of voice. All disabled people recognize it. People.

Speak. Slowly. And. Say. My name. A lot. (In case I have

forgotten it.) They are also upbeat! Indeed, overwhelmingly and gratingly positive! It’s the same tone used for what are deemed to be confused older people, and I hate it –

because I am disabled, not confused and not hard of hearing.

If you have sent this MicroTrigger, this is an opportunity

to reflect and perhaps uncover an unconscious bias. We

have noticed this MicroTrigger tends to be associated with people who have a disability, have a different language/ communication style, are older, or work in the services industry. What assumptions were you making about

the person to whom you spoke more slowly or loudly? In

retrospect, when were your assumptions correct? Incorrect?

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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17

Saying, “You don’t talk or look ” (fill in the blank with your dimension of diversity)

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I am a licensed aircraft mechanic. I have had several

people look at me – I’m a petite female - and ask, “Are you sure you’re not a stewardess?”

Even after I say no, they will say things like, “Are you sure

you’re a mechanic?” or, “You don’t look like a mechanic,” or

“You’re not big enough to be a mechanic.” And I think that is the comment disturbs me the most. That you don’t look like, or act like a mechanic.

Although it doesn’t make me angry, it makes me very aware that people have expectations when they meet me. And it is very difficult to overcome it.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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18

Sighing when you ask a question

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Asking questions is a sign of intellectual curiosity. There’s no such thing as a dumb question. People who ask questions

are more likely to be perceived as engaged valuable team members than those who don’t. None of those commonly expressed views apply to me.

When I ask a question, I get a sigh, along with a look that implies, “Oh no, is she asking another question?”

They said that they wanted me here because of my

different perspective. But when I question for understanding, I get a response that signals – “stop trying to change us.

It’s always been done this way.”

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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19

Rolling their eyes at you

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Merriam-Webster dictionary defines eye-rolling as the action or gesture of turning the eyes upward as an expression of

annoyance, exasperation, disbelief, etc. In English-speaking

nations, it has been identified as a passive-aggressive response to an undesirable situation or person.

During MicroTrigger workshops participants often describe

eye-rolling from their teenaged children or family members and how much it frustrates them. So when they experience it in the workplace, it is definitely triggering.

Just something to consider: Would you roll your eyes at your

boss? No, so why do you think it is appropriate or professional to do it to me?

In professional settings, eye-rolling can undermine communication and create a hostile environment,

signaling disrespect or disagreement with colleagues.

Addressing this behavior directly by calling it out,

checking if the interpretation is correct, and asking the

individual to share their concerns​can help mitigate its negative impact​(Schwarz, R., 2006)​.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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20

Having insider jokes…. and not letting you in Everyone’s laughing. Something is funny.

But you don’t let me in on the joke?

What is that about?

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Merriam-Webster dictionary defines an inside joke as a joke

that is understood only by people with special knowledge about something. It is a joke that is only humorous to those who are aware of the circumstances behind it.

Using insider jokes can be an indicator of insider outsider

unconscious bias. That’s a bias where people tend to favor people

who exist in similar groups as them. But using insider jokes can also perpetuate that bias. Imagine that you work on a team that has

a long history of working together. You’ve been through good times and bad times together. Here’s a story from someone who joined a team that had that kind of history:

I’m trying to fit into this new group. I know people are trying.

But they tell so many stories about the past that I can’t help but think that I will always be thought of an outsider, the

new person, regardless of how long I’m here. The other day,

someone said, “oh no don’t pull a Kelvin.” Everyone laughed.

I had no idea what they were talking about. When I asked

later, I learned that Kelvin was an employee at the company 8 years ago who had accidentally done XYZ. It took weeks to get the odor out of the break room. I’m not asking that this

group abandon its history. I’m asking that this group make it clear that they want me to be part of their future. I’m not seeing that effort yet.

Here’s a recommendation for being more inclusive:

Intentionally widen the “in-group” circle with new indicators of being a team. Team photos, new team mottos, and

embracing the ideas of new team members go a long way.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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21

Referring to younger adults as “kids”

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It’s not easy making change happen at work. But our team rocks. We are a group of people – mostly in our 20s – who

are bringing new approaches to the way we do work here.

Our co-workers who have been here 25+ years usually resist our new ways at first. But they also turn around after we prove ourselves.

It is bothersome that we must keep proving ourselves. It

is equally disturbing that none of us have been recognized with promotions for the contributions that we are making to this organization.

Recently we did get verbal recognition at a town hall

meeting. The executive said, “I’m so proud of you kids.”

We are not children. We are adults who are making a

difference here. We deserve to be respected, and to be paid fairly for our contributions.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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22

Remarks such as, “That’s administrative work”

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We have pithy statements like teamwork makes the dream work. All jobs matter. Yet instead, we send subtle devaluing messages like, “oh that’s administrative work,” or “we don’t need to include them in the planning because that’s a support function.”

We have roles because they matter. We need to

communicate that in what we say and in what we do.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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23

Only replying to your emails when a manager is copied on it too

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EMPLOYEE #1: I’m trying to finish this job, but I need some

info from Jack. I’ve emailed him 3 times and I haven’t heard back. He’s terrible about responding to email.

EMPLOYEE #2: Copy his boss this time.

EMPLOYEE #1: (types into her smartphone.)

OK I’ll try that.

(a few minutes pass) Ding sound.

EMPLOYEE #1: (Looks at her smartphone).

Wow that was quick! He responded.

EMPLOYEE #2: Works every time.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Greeting others in a traditional manner such as “Hi. Nice to meet you.” and despite not knowing you, greeting you in an ethnically familiar manner Such as “Hey, wazup!” (to Black co-workers) or “¿Que pasa?” (to Latino co-workers).

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In my mother tongue/first language, we have the “kh”

sound in many words. When colleagues learn this about me, they say they want me to feel more at home and so

they say things like, “khow are you?” or “khave a nice day.”

I never find this funny and I feel anything but at home.

If you have sent this MicroTrigger, this is an opportunity to employ Ivy’s R.O.I. Reaction Model:

Reflect: Are you aware of how your greetings might be perceived

by the person you are addressing? What assumptions do you make about a person when you choose to greet them in a certain way?

How might these assumptions reinforce or challenge stereotypes?

Own: If you have sent this MicroTrigger recently, follow the Six A’s of Accountability (i.e., Acknowledge you sent the MicroTrigger,

Articulate your intent, Ask about the impact of your actions, Admit that you were unsure of how to communicate effectively, Avoid

invalidating the impact of MicroTrigger, and Apologize. If you have

sent this MicroTrigger in the past, walk through the Six A’s and think about how you would have completed each one at the time.

Include: Start using inclusive ways to greet people that don’t rely on assumptions about their ethnicity. Get to know your colleagues and

learn more about their preferred greetings or communication styles.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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25

Always holding meetings at their location (floor, office, site, etc.)

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Part of the beauty of the virtual workplace was the leveling of

the playing field of a zoom meeting. Each square was the same

size. It could bounce around. Ann Francke, CEO of the Chartered

Management Institute, decided to move all large meetings online, even when people are in the office. “They’ve been great levelers

because everyone’s in the same size box,” she says. Features like the chat box and the raised hand button mean that the person chairing the meeting can invite people to speak.

So what is the story that people tell themselves when someone favors holding meetings at their location?

I actually hadn’t noticed that my colleague was doing

that [always holding meetings in their office instead of

mine] until he pushed back, even when I was on crutches after a sports injury.

When he replied, “So you’re trying to get the home court

advantage huh?” I thought to myself, “Wow, is that what

this about?” Then I thought of other subtle ways that Jim tried to exert his power – where he sat in meetings, how

he overtalked me. Geez, this guy is masterful at the politics of positioning himself as better than me.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Acknowledging your idea only after someone else restates it This story is a 1-2-3 punch of MicroTriggers #2 (interrupting you), #26 (acknowledging your idea only after someone else restates it, and #57 (taking credit for your work – or at least receiving credit for your work!)

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You are a team leader in a pressure filled work environment.

You have just received your quarterly customer satisfaction report, and for the third consecutive quarter, the results are

unacceptable. At your weekly team meeting you share the results adding, “We must do something about this immediately.”

Becky, a member of your team says, “I’m not the expert, but I think that our current help line hours of 9 - 5 aren’t

enough. They should be available 24 hou...” Ralph, another team member, cuts off Becky mid-sentence and says,

“We should launch an Always Available Customer Action Line. Any customer could reach a service representative anytime day or night.”

You are willing to try almost anything at this point. “Fabulous idea Ralph. Thank you!” Other team members chime in, agreeing that it’s an idea that has possibilities.

The Always Available Customer Action Line launches two weeks later, and is a great success. The next customer

satisfaction report is the best you’ve seen in three years.

At the team meeting you say, “I am proud to announce that this year’s Regional Manager’s Award of $10,000 goes to

Ralph O’Brien whose innovation led to the Always Available Action Line, improving customer service results by 310% in just one quarter.”

You notice that Becky is the only person in the room who

is NOT clapping. When you make eye contact with her, she

stands up and says, “This place is so anti-female. You know that was my idea!”

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Calling you by a nickname that they created for you

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When a name is unfamiliar to someone or difficult for someone

to pronounce, rather than take the time to learn how to pronounce it, some people take a route that is simpler for them. They change the name! They shorten the name so that they can pronounce it, or decide to call you by your initials.

Filipe becomes “Phil,” Jorge becomes “J.” Other times, people just decide that they like the nickname better than your given name.

So, James becomes “Jim,” Michael becomes “Micky,” Candessa becomes “Candi.”

My name is Zahira. I realize it is not common here in the

US … but it is my name, my identity. When I meet people for the first time and say my name, they find it different, and difficult to pronounce.

I sometimes get asked if I have a nickname – “Sure, it is Zahira” I say.

“OK, how about a childhood name?” they ask.

“Sure, it is Zahira” I say.

“OK, we’ll call you Z” they say. “#@$%&^*!!!” I think.

P.S. If you think some people are simply unable to

pronounce new names, pay attention to how quickly they learn when the new boss’ name is Zahira!

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Not believing that you can perform a difficult task

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This subtle behavior can have a huge impact. When you don’t believe that someone can perform a difficult task, then they can miss out on opportunities in their career.

Stretch opportunities matter.

For this MicroTrigger, I will move outside the workplace to the classroom. Anyone who has children or cares about children should be aware of this research.

Research by Speybroeck and colleagues (2012), on

self-fulfilling prophecy has demonstrated that lowered teacher expectations can negatively impact the way

students perform. Teachers who believed that a child had a higher/lower socioeconomic status had higher/lower

expectations regarding the student’s performance, which in turn affected how well the student performed.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Referring to a group as, “You people”

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This MicroTrigger is usually framed in the context of differences in race, ethnicity, or culture.

I’m a lot of things. I’m a straight, African American, guy

who’s a father of girls. I’m a New England born Red Sox/ Celtics/Patriots fan. I’m a science-geek techie. I’m a

consumer of news of all kinds. For many reasons, I am often the only person of my race in work groups.

Much too often people come up to me and ask, “Why

do you people do xyz?” Or “What do you people think about this?” And it’s almost always about race!

First of all, the question doesn’t always seem like the person asking me the question is really open to an answer. It feels to me like they really want to make

their own point and are just looking for an argument.

Even when they do seem open, I’ve got news for you.

We make decisions just like you do! By weighing the pros and cons. We are not all of one mind.

Start by investing time to understand me. Approach

me like an individual, not just a member of my group.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Arriving late to meetings or keeping you waiting

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Often, people who are late are not trying to disrespect, annoy, or frustrate. They are focused on something else for example: • Multi-tasking • Poor time management • Stopping to smell the roses

If you are a chronically late person, consider this: Are you an equal opportunity chronically late for anyone and everyone

person, or are you a selectively late person? Remember, people are always keeping score and paying attention to if the Sender

of the MicroTrigger only exhibits this behavior with a selected few,

or everyone. Especially if there is some hierarchy involved. Meaning, because you have a higher job title than me, do you feel like my

time isn’t as valuable as yours? Or even worse, you can get away with it because it’s harder for me to hold you accountable?

Additionally, consider the story a Receiver of this MicroTrigger may be telling themselves when you are late for meetings with them.

For example:

• Do they not respect my time or value our meetings as much as they do with others?

• Do they perceive our meetings or my role as less important compared to others?

• Is there a personal issue or conflict between us?

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Making the assumption that I fall into a lower position/role/function

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YES. I KNOW. The fact that this is someone’s MicroTrigger could indeed be YOUR MicroTrigger!

Am I saying that lower-level positions are less than? Absolutely NOT.

They are valuable AND sometimes people are triggered when others

assume that they are lower versus higher in the workplace hierarchy.

Other examples we’ve heard are: support positions, nonmanagement roles, cleaning staff, etc.

I was reviewing patient charts at the nurses’ station when a nurse who had just joined our team, walked over and handed me a file. “Can you take this to the doctor in

charge when you’re done?” he asked, clearly assuming I was part of the support staff.

I raised an eyebrow but kept my tone light. “Actually, I’m the one in charge of this case. I’ll take care of it.”

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Frequently confusing you with someone else of the same demographic

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I finally met Alicia. And now it makes sense. Ever since

I joined this organization, people have been calling me Alicia. But my name is Marie. I keep correcting them.

And they still kept calling me Alicia, not Marie.

Finally, I met Alicia. And I think I understand. She’s the

only other Asian woman who works here! Yes. The mix up is ridiculous.

The Washington Post did a story on “work twins” about employees who were frequently confused with other

co-workers of the same demographic. After one such employee, Nicholas Pilapil and Jonathan Castanien

often experienced this phenomenon, from receiving emails clearly meant for the other, to missing meeting invitations because their co-workers could not tell them apart.

They decided to post a sign between their desks that read, “This company has worked __ days without an incident.

Incorrect names are avoidable.” Whenever a co-worker

called one by the other’s name, they would reset the count to zero. During the six months or so that the sign was up,

the count never exceeded 14 days, Pilapil said. In total, they were misidentified about 50 times.

Due to the popularity of the story The Washington Post

followed up by asking People of Color on Twitter for stories about being misidentified in predominantly White places (Swenson, 2019). More than 400 people replied, including a digital marketing consultant whose client kept calling

him by his gardener’s name and a professor whose student turned in a paper with the wrong professor’s name.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Never inviting you to join the group for lunch (or other social gathering)

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I’ll never forget the following email I received from a class

participant. “Thank you so much for your inclusion workshop

last week. For the first time since I came to this new department,

my co-workers asked me if I’d like to join them for lunch. I couldn’t believe how good it made me feel.”

I work on a team with a lot of younger people. I’m old

enough to be their parent. For some, I’m old enough to be

their grandparent! I think I have taken on a role that I neither asked for, nor do I desire . . . I’m Grandpa!

I’m never asked to make the coffee run before a meeting.

Good. I am happy to have someone else fetch it. But I am also never asked to join them for lunch. I’m not sure why.

Maybe it’s because they usually go to healthy food places,

and they assume I wouldn’t like it? Maybe they tolerate me for things they consider to be 100% work, but don’t want to

include me when they have a choice? It certainly makes me feel like an outsider.

Today when they returned from lunch one of them told

me that they had discussed an idea about work that they

wanted to share with me. I said, “I’m sorry that I missed the conversation. But I’m never invited to your lunches.”

She looked at me like I was crazy. And I definitely felt like a crazy old man for saying it!

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Saying, “I can’t tell that joke. We’re in mixed company.”

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Several things about this statement offend me because it signals that I don’t belong and I’m an outsider.

• If the joke is offensive to me, then what makes you think that it would not be offensive to others?

• If you think it would offend me, would you tell the joke when I’m not here, meaning that you are fine saying something behind my back that would offend me?

• What mixture of people are we talking about here?

Perhaps getting more specific would help you to

see how rude this statement could feel, and how

inappropriate the sentiment could be: I can’t tell that joke in front of women. But I’m willing to say it with a group of men.

Perhaps you just should not tell that joke.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Asking others about their experiences or opinions but never asking you

100 microtriggers.com

Look, I get it. I’m an introvert. At work, I tend to keep to myself and get my work done. I’m not anti-social and I’m a good committee member, but I don’t tend to jump into social

situations and offer my perspectives unless the time and

setting is right. (And by the time I think it is, the moment has often passed!)

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have interesting experiences to share or useful opinions or ideas to contribute! It would

really help me if people would take a moment to reach out and ask. I’ll answer! I promise!

If you have been a Receiver of this MicroTrigger, this is an opportunity to employ Ivy’s R.O.I. Reaction Model:

Reflect: Do you have any assumptions about why people might

not ask you about your experiences or opinions? Have you found

your assumptions to be correct? Incorrect? Are there any specific relationships where you feel your experiences or opinions are particularly valued or ignored?

Own: Try to S.P.E.A.K. U.P. next time this happens. (i.e., Select the most effective time to discuss the MicroTrigger, Point out the impact the MicroTrigger had on your performance, Explain the MicroTrigger

using specific examples, Ask for clarification of the Sender’s intent, Keep the focus on the workplace impact rather than make things personal, Use “I statements” to express your feelings, and Provide suggestions on ways the Sender can communicate their intent without triggering you).

Include: Work towards being more proactive in sharing your own experiences and opinions while still valuing others’ contributions.

Have open and honest conversations and share your preferred communication style.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Scheduling meetings at times that they know you are not available

102 microtriggers.com

I thought we were a team! I know I can’t be a part of every

meeting, but what kind of team would hold a practice when they know that key players can’t participate?

Maybe that’s it…the message I get is that I am not

considered a key player. If that’s the case, then why am I going above and beyond here for people who are not valuing me and seeing me as an asset?

If that’s so, I just wish they would say so. I spend a lot

of time on projects like this and I sure could use some of that time back!

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Looking at a phone or device when talking to you

104 microtriggers.com

Pew Research Center surveyed 3,000 adults for a study that found 88% of respondents believe it’s “generally” not OK to

use a cell phone during dinner(Pew Research Center, 2015).

An even larger percentage, 94%, say cell phone use is

inappropriate during meetings, while 95% say they shouldn’t be used at theaters and 96% say they shouldn’t be used during religious services.

Overall, 82% of respondents say that using a phone in

social settings hurts conversations, at least occasionally.

However, that fact isn’t stopping people from whipping out their devices. 89% of respondents said they had used their

phone during their most recent social gathering, most often to read a text or email, take a photo, or send a text.

Men are generally more likely to approve the use of cell

phones in social settings than women. Smartphone owners are also more likely to deem the practice appropriate

than non-smartphone owners. And unsurprisingly, younger adults have less qualms about using phones in social

contexts than older adults do. But even among adults

aged 18 to 29, only 16% say it’s OK to use your phone at family dinner.

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Looking at their watch repeatedly during a conversation with you

106 microtriggers.com

This doesn’t bug me if I grabbed them for an impromptu meeting…that’s on me.

It doesn’t even bug me if they tell me why they need

to know what time it is. Heck, I’ll even help keep track of the time with them if I know why!

What bugs me is when they call me in for a meeting

and then start clock-watching without telling me why!

That just says that someone or something is more

important than me and my time…even though they asked for my time!

© 2025 Ivy Planning Group LLC

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Calling you, “dear” “sweetheart” “honey” or “love”

108 microtriggers.com

For years I have stopped by the same coffee spot every

morning to grab a tall vanilla latte. Although it’s a popular place, the lines move quickly, and they do a great job

fulfilling my morning caffeine fix. But lately I’ve started to notice something that annoys me.

When the barista, Sue, takes my order she says, “Sure thing, Sweetheart.” She does the same thing with other females – using terms of endearment such as “Got it, Honey” or “ OK, Sweetie.”

But with male customers it’s “OK, Mr. Williams” or “Sure thing, Mr. McPherson” when Sue knows their names. Or “Yes, sir” when she doesn’t.

Other baristas take my order, ask for my name, write it on

the cup, and simply say, “Thank you.” Yet Sue has decided that because I’m another woman, I’m her girlfriend? But the men deserve to be addressed with respect?

Even as I tell this story I feel myself being petty for noticing the difference. Or ungrateful that Sue simply wants to be nice.

But I think that there’s a part of Sue - that she might not even be aware of - that feels a need to show respect to men, but not to women. And that annoys me.

Of course I could be wrong about Sue. But since I’m the

customer, I’m going to find a new coffee shop. I need to start my days with positivity, not a trigger!

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Using acronyms, jargon, or examples that exclude you

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Our company didn’t hire any new employees for years.

Then they brought in a new leadership team who turned things around, and they started hiring again. The new hires are better educated and come from different industries, so they bring new perspectives that the leadership team values.

I’m one of the newly hired employees in my company.

I’ve noticed that during meetings the staff who have been here a long time use a lot of acronyms. Mind you, no one has bothered to tell new folks what the acronyms stand for. And it doesn’t really matter because we’re smart enough to use context clues to figure it out.

But it is duly noted as yet another little way that we have not been welcomed here.

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Saying “You look nice today.”

This MicroTrigger most commonly arises in the context of Black women’s hair.

Saying “you look nice today,” is clearly a compliment,

right? Well not always. Here’s an example that was shared recently in a workshop.

I usually wear my hair in a natural style (i.e., her hair is curly/wavy versus straightened). However, on the

rare instances when I decide to straighten my hair, I notice that a few colleagues tell me, “You look nice today.”

It reminds me that they prefer me to leave my natural self at home. They like it when I adjust my appearance to fit in and become the norm of

my office. I don’t think they see it that way. I think they intend to give me a compliment, to express their appreciation for the straight hairdo. But for me it stings. It’s a hurtful reminder that making adjustments to my

authentic self might make it easier for me to fit in here and get ahead.

The CROWN Act, which stands for “Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair,” is a law that prohibits race-based hair discrimination, which is the denial of

employment and educational opportunities because of

hair texture or protective hairstyles including braids, locs, twists or Bantu knots.

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The 2019 and 2021 CROWN Research Studies for Girls and Women found that workplace bias against hairstyles unfairly targets

Black women and impacts their ability to celebrate their natural beauty (Crown Coalition, n.d.). Black women are:

80% more likely

1.5x more likely

to change their natural

to be sent home from

hair to meet social norms or expectations at work

work because of their hair

3.5x more likely

30% more likely

to be perceived as

to be made aware of

of their hair

appearance policy

‘unprofessional’ because

a formal workplace

83% more likely to report being judged more harshly on their

looks than other women

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Remarks such as “You’re so articulate.”

Or “You speak so well.”

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Similar to saying “You look nice today,” saying, “you’re so articulate” or “you speak so well” is clearly a compliment, right? Again…. Well not always.

In early 2007, then senator Joe Biden referred to then senator and

presidential candidate Barack Obama as an “African American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Many

people went berserk! Is Biden racist?! How could he say that?! That’s so offensive! Barack Obama, in a brief off-camera interview in a

Senate hallway, said he thinks Biden “didn’t intend to offend” anyone.

“He called me,” Obama said. “I told him it wasn’t necessary. We have got more important things to worry about. We have got Iraq. We

have got health care. We have got energy. This is low on the list.”

“He was very gracious, and I have no problem with Joe Biden,” Obama added. And history showed us the Obama/Biden relationship certainly recovered from that moment.

So, what WAS the big deal about the “you’re so articulate” comment?

Discussions about this MicroTrigger continue to be some of

the liveliest in our workshops. Particularly when there are vocal

participants who express that people are simply being “too sensitive.”

Perspective A: “You’re being too sensitive. Take the compliment and keep it moving” versus Perspective B: “Think about who you refer to

as articulate. Is it everyone? No, it’s only the people who you did not expect to be well-spoken. That’s what makes this a trigger.”

So, there you are. It’s a message of lowered expectations. Of surprise.

One that sometimes goes as far as, “how did you learn to speak so well?” (ouch)

The Receiver of this MicroTrigger is most often Black, Hispanic, or

East Asian. The Sender of this MicroTrigger, interestingly enough, is

everyone. Because everyone has unconscious biases, anyone might find themselves surprised when someone (who they didn’t think would) does indeed speak so well.

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When disagreeing with you, stating their opinion as a fact using phrases such as “Everyone knows that…” Or “Well, obviously…”

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This MicroTrigger is usually framed in the context of differences in positional or functional power.

Opinions should be based on facts and on principles and

should be able to be defended rationally. Unless you have the actual survey results, you don’t really know what

“everyone knows”! Not only that, but people have “known” all kinds of nonsense in the past. That didn’t make it true then and wouldn’t make it true now.

As far as I am concerned, this is just intellectual bullying trying to make me feel inferior because I don’t agree with “everyone”.

If you can’t defend your opinions, just say so!

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Not taking the time to remember important aspects of your identity For example: Pronouns, Nationality, Sexual Orientation, Religion

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As a chef, I’m often the only non-binary or trans person in

the kitchen. Even though I’ve shared my pronouns with my colleagues, I’m still called things like “mama” or “mija,”

making me feel unseen and disregarded. It’s frustrating to

hear people say how hard it is to use my pronouns, as if my identity is a joke to them or not as important (Retta, 2019).

During a lunch break, the team gathered around chatting

about the weekend. Laura turned to Sam and asked, “hey, Sam, you must know a good place to go for sushi, right?

You’re Japanese, aren’t you?”

Sam, a bit surprised, said, “Actually, I’m Korean.”

Laura’s face turned red. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Sam said with a smile, though inside, she felt

a little awkward. This wasn’t the first time a coworker had made an assumption about her culture.

RESEARCH According to a report by Coqual, a leading global think

tank, over half (54%) of transgender and gender-diverse professionals say they’ve been misgendered at work (Coqual, 2023).

Misidentifying individuals based on race or ethnicity can

erase their unique cultural experiences and identities. As

shown in Pew Research’s study on Asian American identity, many participants emphasized their strong connection to their cultural origins, which significantly shapes their

experiences and values. Misidentification can contribute to feelings of invisibility and perpetuate harmful stereotypes, undermining a person’s sense of belonging and selfexpression​(Pew Research Center, 2022).

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Frequently asking you,“Are you sure?”

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When I tell others about these triggers that have been

bothering me – like when others interrupt me, or question my qualifications, or restate my words for me, or taking

credit for my work – they seem to disbelieve me, asking “are you sure that’s what happened?” And “Could you be misinterpreting things?”

I find this insulting because it demeans my life experience.

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Having a side conversation in a meeting when you are speaking

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I am a small statured, introverted, ethnic woman and have

a very soft voice. For some, these five attributes (wrongfully) do not equate to authority or confidence.

I’m also a corporate learning and development specialist and sometimes, so as not to let others have side

conversations while I’m speaking, I must “act bigger” than I am and behave more extroverted so that others will pay attention when I speak. At the end of such sessions, I feel beyond exhausted and not myself.

If you have been an Observer of this MicroTrigger, this is an opportunity to employ Ivy’s R.O.I. Reaction Model:

Reflect: How do these side conversations affect your focus and

engagement in the meeting? How do you think the person speaking feels when they see others having side conversations? What does

having side conversations during a meeting say about the level of

respect for the speaker and the meeting? The Receiver may believe that what they’re saying is unimportant.

Own: Give B.A.C.K. U.P. if it is appropriate (i.e., Be aware of your

motivation to get involved, Ask the Receiver if and/or how they want you to help, Consider the most effective way to address the side

conversation, Keep an objective perspective, Understand the power of the Observer, Provide feedback to both the Sender and Receiver and encourage them to talk to each other directly, if appropriate.

Include: Try to contribute to creating an environment where all

voices are respected and heard during meetings. Talk to your team about your communication and engagement, and the underlying issues that lead to side conversations.

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Not looking you in the eye when speaking to you

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Being triggered by someone not looking you in the eye when

speaking to you is a perfect example of the concept of rules, stories, and conclusions. It’s a rubric: You broke my rule of behavior, I make

up a story about its meaning, and I have now come to a conclusion.

I grew up in a culture where I was taught to stand up, speak up, and look people in the eye. Looking people in the eye was a sign

of respect. It meant that I was not distracted by anything else.

I was lasered focused on you because you matter. I assumed that everyone grew up with that training and messaging – that rule. So, if someone did not look me in the eye, I assumed they did not

respect me. If they looked away, the story I told myself was that they cared about something else more than me. If they looked down,

I assumed they might be insecure, or they wanted our conversation to end. So, I came to the conclusion that they did not value me and our relationship.

Little did I know that some people were taught the exact opposite

rule. They were taught that if you respect someone, particularly your elders, do not look them in the eye. Some people were taught that looking someone in the eye when speaking to them is a sign of aggression, to be used selectively.

A Michigan State University study found that: • Increased eye contact is associated with credibility and dominance

• Lack of contact and blinking are interpreted as submissive • High status people are looked at, and look more while talking than listening

• Stares communicate hostility Indeed there are several different “rules” regarding looking someone in the eye. Becoming aware of the different rules, understanding the associated stories and conclusions, and valuing perspectives that are not our own goes a long way to set ourselves up for success in communicating with people who are different from us.

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48

Looking past you when they’re talking to you

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We’re at a gathering, having a conversation. Rather than

focus on our conversation, you’re constantly looking past

me. The message: “if someone better comes along, I’m out of here.” If you want to be with me, be with me. If you don’t, don’t be so obvious.

During the holiday season, my co-worker and I ventured to

partake in office festivities and attend the company holiday party. Feeling the holiday spirit, we decided to use the time to get better acquainted with others in the office.

We were having a great time bonding with everyone

until one person in particular, a Vice President no less, kept looking past us and reviewing his watch during the conversation.

We both agreed that we’ve never felt so insignificant (personally or professionally).

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49

Patting you on the back

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I’m the youngest guy on the floor and I’ve been at the

company for a year. Even though I’m the only one who

has actually gone to school to be trained on our equipment, my older co-workers are constantly explaining to me how

things work. I don’t need their help. They need mine. I’m the most productive guy on the floor.

The chief stopped by and told me that he’s surprised how quickly I have caught on. And he patted me on my back while he said it. Like I was a puppy dog or something. So

I gave him some of his own medicine. I told him that I think he’s doing a good job too. And I gave him a big smile as I patted him on the back.

NEW ADDITION: Patting you on your head When discussing “patting you on the back” in workshops, we are also hearing stories about “patting you on the head.”

I’m a 5’2” woman working on a team of people who are all

at least 5’8”. Since middle school when others kept growing and I stopped, I’ve been among the shortest people in my

group. So I’m accustomed to it and it was rarely a problem.

In fact being short can have its advantages. But I’m starting to notice a pattern at work that is troubling me.

My colleagues – only the male ones – pat me on my head.

I’m serious! I’m a 48-year-old woman, not a little girl. What’s next? Putting a glass on my head like I’m a tabletop?

Whether it is a pat on the back or on the head, it sends the same message: I do not respect you. Demonstrating that

with a physical touch makes it that much more impactful to a Receiver.

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50

Discussing a social event that included everyone except you

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WATCH VIDEO WOMAN #1: Wasn’t Jessie’s baby shower fun?

WOMAN #2: Yes and she even made it co-ed.

MAN #1: Great food huh?

WOMAN #3: I wasn’t there WOMAN #1: The games were so cute WOMAN #2: Yeah not the usual baby shower madness.

This was fun

WOMAN #3: I wasn’t there MAN #1: And she got some pretty impressive gifts WOMAN #1: Yeah some people went for it WOMAN #2: What did you get her?

WOMAN #3: I wasn’t invited!

While everyone will not be invited to everything, discussing an event where someone was not invited is an act of

exclusion. Particularly for those who are excluded from

workplace conversations, information, and opportunities, it is a subtle message that “you don’t belong here.”

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51

Getting physically close to you and/or touching you when speaking

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One of the tertiary dimensions of diversity is a sense of self and

space. For cultural and other reasons, people have different rules regarding personal space. The terms, “close talker” and “invade

my personal space” are a common way to describe someone who

exceeds “normal” boundaries. Yet definitions of “normal” vary widely.

This story describes one person’s reaction when their rule for personal space was broken.

I’m pregnant. Ever since I started showing, people at work have become more “touchy feely” with me. When I

announced my pregnancy at a staff meeting so everyone

would have ample time to adjust project plans, one of my colleagues jumped up and hugged me. “I’m so happy for you!” she squealed. This person barely speaks to me otherwise.

Another person now regularly asks me how I’m feeling,

accompanied by a soft pat on the shoulder. And today someone actually touched my stomach. I can’t even remember what they were saying, because I was so shocked by the move.

Until now I was treated like the introverted loner that I am.

People barely spoke to me, and they certainly didn’t touch me. And that’s exactly how I liked it. Now that I’ve taken on the new label of “pregnant woman” it’s open season for hug, touch, and pat.

I hate this!

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NEW MICROTRIGGER

52

Keeping your camera off during a videoconference

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The pandemic and a greater appreciation for social

distancing may have fixed the issue of people exerting their

power by crushing you with a handshake. MicroTrigger #52,

“Shaking your hand too softly, or ….much too hard” has been replaced with “Keeping your camera off during a

videoconference.” It’s a sign of the times. The pandemic

caused people to avoid shaking hands for health reasons.

It’s a macro issue, not a micro issue.

Meanwhile, videoconferencing skyrocketed with Zoom

meeting participants increasing by 2900% from 2019 to 2022

(Business Insider, 2020). Now “cameras off” versus “cameras on” has become a conversation.

Some say, “It’s disrespectful when people have their

cameras off. Working from home is a privilege. The least

people could do is show me that they are engaged in our

conversation.” Others compare when their colleagues are cameras on versus off. “If they can turn their camera on

when an executive is joining our meeting, then they can turn their camera on for our team meeting. They should value me equally.”

It’s important to note that there are people who, for a

multitude of physical, mental, or emotional reasons, cannot have their cameras on. That’s why “cameras off versus

cameras on” should be a conversation. Like so many other MicroTriggers, there is risk in making assumptions versus taking the time to understand.

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Not inviting you to the impromptu meeting

Sometimes important decisions are made

in unplanned meetings. When time is of the

essence – which is often the case in today’s

fast-paced world – people gather with very little notice. How nice when YOU are the one who is

tapped to join the “ad hoc” “impromptu” “it just kinda happened” meeting.

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Impromptu meetings are not planned. They just happen.

Why? Because we happen upon someone, we find ourselves interacting with someone, and before we know it, we have

touched upon a topic that merits more discussion. Nothing wrong with that at all, right?

So let’s unwrap this. In order to have an impromptu meeting what is required? Access. When I do not have access to you, I cannot just happen upon you. Therein lies the exclusion.

I don’t want to be invited to all of the impromptu meetings because as the only female executive on this team, many of them happen in the men’s bathroom!

But I do want them to think about how much knowledge

I miss out on because they happen to have a discussion where I’m not included.

Am I asking for an Allie McBeal bathroom situation? No. I’m asking to be informed so I can do my doggone job.

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Using too many sports analogies

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I work for a small business that is approximately 50/50

male/female. Unfortunately there are gender disparities in terms of opportunities and levels. The CEO and his

management team are all men except for a female head

of human resources. The work culture is I guess what you’d call “traditional male.” There’s a lot of loud talking and

joking, and literally a locker room environment where the

guys actually throw a football across the office! I’m happy to say that I have never been hit by the ball because I always duck, and the jokes are usually not sexist.

But one of the things that really bugs me is how our CEO

speaks. He talks about sports so much that it makes him seem unprofessional. I actually like sports too, but he

is ridiculous. He doesn’t even tailor his speeches to his

audience. So when he was congratulating our (all female) administrative staff on a job well done and trying to

motivate them for a particularly busy end of year, he said, “This one won’t be a slam dunk. But we have to hit it out of the park. So put your game faces on. It’s 4th and 1.”

Some of the women looked confused. I actually laughed out loud.

Gender does not determine whether a person likes or dislikes sports.

Yet when traditional male behavior (throwing a football across

the office) is coupled with women disproportionately absent from

power positions, a little thing: “using too many sports analogies” can become a big trigger. It’s not just a pet peeve. The subtle behavior is perceived to be a symptom of something bigger.

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Referring to men as “boys”

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This MicroTrigger is most often associated with Black men. For many it’s a reminder of a time in history when enslaved men were referred to as “boys” by White people. Calling a grown man “boy” was used to insult, to demean, and to communicate that you are less than a

man. When people vote this as their MicroTrigger, this is most often the explanation given, regardless of the demographics of who is voting.

We would think that by now, with so much written about it, that no one would still refer to men, particularly men of color, as boys. But yes it still happens sometimes.

We also hear different stories regarding being called a “boy,” for example:

“I’m a white cisgender man in my 50s. And I have grown

tired of being lumped into the ‘good ole boys club.’ First of all because I’m not a member. And secondly if I were, I don’t

expect to be referred to as a ‘boy’ by the same people who are offended when men of color are referred to as boys. I understand the privileges that I receive with no effort or

energy – just because of my race and sexual orientation.

I get it. But that doesn’t mean that you have a right to put me in a club – the good ole boys club – that actually has not accepted me to be a member. Some white men are treated as outsiders because of their socioeconomic

backgrounds, their hobbies, and interests, lots of reasons.

I’m one of those white men. A good 50-something man, not a good ole boy.”

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Not saying “Thank you”

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As a society, have we come to a point where we have lost an appreciation for and taken for granted two words that

carry such gratitude? The words I speak of are “thank you.” I find myself triggered when I hold the door open for a stranger and they don’t say thank you. I find myself

triggered when I say “bless you” to a stranger after they

sneeze and they don’t say thank you. I find myself triggered when I let someone into my lane in rush hour traffic and

they don’t wave thank you. I find myself triggered when I

stop for a J-walker to cross the street and they don’t say thank you. I find myself triggered when I see people in restaurants not thanking the wait staff.

Why is this happening? Is it laziness, is it entitlement? I find

these acts to be a lack of appreciation for the kindness that

people do for one another … and at times, just plan out rude.

There are cultural differences regarding saying or not saying “Thank you.” For example, in many countries,

because there are human expectations or norms about helping each other out, there is no word for “thank you.”

According to CultureWizard.com, in India, saying “thank you” is not taken lightly and if said in the wrong context, can be insulting and insincere.

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Taking credit for your work

Yesterday you overheard your co-worker tell someone else about a fantastic idea they had. Only problem, the idea was

yours. You had recommended it to your co-worker a few days before.

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This MicroTrigger almost didn’t make the 2006 first edition of this book because it was on the low end of the top MicroTriggers.

Fast forward and it now finds its way in the top 10 MicroTriggers of almost every class. Why?

On a recent project, my team members and I each worked on separate tasks to then combine into a deliverable – a presentation. I worked on the

administrative, logistics, and data analysis. Other

colleagues worked on the data collection, project management, client interactions, and facilitation.

On the day of the presentation, I noticed that my name was not listed with the other team members. In my

head, I tried to rationalize why my name was left off

the presentation – I did more of the support work, the

analysis, the administrative, the logistical work, and this is why my name didn’t appear on the presentation.

If so, why do I feel a knot in my stomach as if my colleagues took all the credit for the work that I contributed to and was part of?

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Directing all questions to the highest-ranking person in the room Some questions must be answered by the

person in charge. Such as, “What’s our budget?”

But all questions? Most questions?

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We have a lot of meetings where I work. I thought we had meetings to get things done. But it seems a lot of people

use meetings to have “face-time” with the boss. They ignore everyone else and only speak to the boss…or whoever is highest up in the food chain.

What’s worse is when they only ask the boss questions, as

if the boss knows everything! Sometimes that works OK, but

sometimes the boss answers wrong and the rest of us have to scramble to clean up the mess.

Sometimes the boss realizes they don’t have the answer

and refers the question to one of the rest of us who really

has the data, but that just ends up being a waste of time.

Ask us first! We’re the ones who briefed the boss in the first place!

I work in a large company, providing internal support to

many different departments and divisions. I enjoy secretly playing a guessing game with myself called “who’s the

boss?” I sit in a staff meeting to listen to the department’s IT problems. Without knowing the department’s hierarchy or organization chart, I try to figure out by their interactions

who is in charge. I almost always guess correctly. I can tell by the way people interact, whose opinions are valued.

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References Blunden, H., Logg, J. M., Brooks, A. W., John, L. K., & Gino, F. (2017). Seeker beware: The interpersonal costs of ignoring advice. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 139, 76-94. https://doi. org/10.1016/j.obhdp.2017.01.001

Business Insider. (2020, April 30). Microsoft Teams, Slack, and Zoom

usage charts reveal how the pandemic has transformed remote work.

Business Insider. Retrieved from https://www.businessinsider.com/

microsoft-teams-slack-zoom-usage-charts-increased-remote-workpandemic-2020-4

Coqual. (2023). Challenging norms: a global analysis of gender at work.

Coqual. https://coqual.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Key-FindingsFINAL-06.29.pdf

The Official CROWN Act. (n.d.). CROWN research studies. Retrieved from https://www.thecrownact.com/research-studies

Fattoracci, E. S., & King, D. D. (2023). The need for understanding and addressing microaggressions in the workplace. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 18(4), 738-742.

Gallup. (n.d.). Race relations. Retrieved from https://news.gallup.com/ poll/1687/race-relations.aspx

Lim, S., & Cortina, L. M. (2005). Interpersonal mistreatment in the

workplace: The interface and impact of general incivility and sexual

harassment. Journal of Applied Psychology, 90(3), 483–496. https://doi. org/10.1037/0021-9010.90.3.483

McCallaghan, S. (2022). Work-place diversity climate: Its association with

racial microaggressions and employee work-place well-being. Journal of Psychology in Africa, 32(6), 560-568.

Pew Research Center. (2022, August 2). What it means to be Asian in

America today: Voices of Asian Americans. Pew Research Center. https:// www.pewresearch.org/race-and-ethnicity/2022/08/02/what-it-meansto-be-asian-in-america/

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Pew Research Center. (2015). Chapter 3: When it is acceptable – or not – to use cellphones in public spaces. Pew Research Center: Internet,

Science & Tech. Retrieved July 5, 2024, from https://www.pewresearch.

org/internet/2015/08/26/chapter-3-when-it-is-acceptable-or-not-touse-cellphones-in-public-spaces/

Pierce, C., Carew, J., Pierce-Gonzalez, D., & Willis, D. (1978). An experiment in racism: TV commercials. Television and Education, 44, 62-88.

Retta, M. (2019, June 21). Work sucks, especially when people get your

pronouns wrong. VICE. Retrieved from: https://www.vice.com/en/article/ pronouns-at-work-trans-nonbinary/

Schwarz, R. (2006). Intervening on non-verbal behavior: Rolling eyes, folded arms, and quiet sighs. Schwarz Associates. Retrieved from https://

schwarzassociates.com/intervening-on-non-verbal-behavior-rollingeyes-folded-arms-and-quiet-sighs/

Smith, J. C. (2006). 58 little things that have a BIG impact: What’s your MicroTrigger? Ivy Planning Group.

Speybroeck, S., Kuppens, S., Van Damme, J., Van Petegem, P., Lamote, C.,

Boonen, T., & de Bilde, J. (2012). The role of teachers’ expectations in the

association between children’s SES and performance in kindergarten: A

moderated mediation analysis. PLoS ONE, 7(4), Article e34502. https://doi. org/10.1371/journal.pone.0034502

Sue, D. W., Capodilupo, C. M., Torino, G. C., Bucceri, J. M., Holder, A. M. B.,

Nadal, K. L., & Esquilin, M. (2007). Racial microaggressions in everyday life: Implications for clinical practice. American Psychologist, 62(4), 271– 286. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.62.4.271

Swenson, K. (2019, May 2). Co-workers keep mixing up people of color in

the office. It’s more than a mistake. The Washington Post. Retrieved from

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/05/02/co-workers-keepmixing-up-people-color-office-its-more-than-mistake/

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About the Author Janet Crenshaw Smith is cofounder and President of Ivy Planning Group (Ivy),

a leading consulting, training, and coaching firm that specializes in leadership, strategy, and change management. Ivy’s clients include large private sector

companies such as Comcast, New York Times, Nike, BET Networks, every executive

level federal agency, several state and local agencies, non-profits, and associations.

Smith has been honored as a strategist, entrepreneur, and change agent. She

was named one of the Top 25 Consultants by Consulting Magazine, received the

Working Woman magazine Entrepreneurial Excellence Award, and testified before a U.S. Congressional Subcommittee as an expert on performance, leadership,

and diversity. Smith works directly with corporate CEOs, executive teams, agency administrators, and senior officials to build strategies, facilitate challenging

discussions, and achieve the organization’s vision. She is an engaging speaker and motivator.

She is author of The Lid is Off, and The Diversity Action Book: 143 Things To Go Do. Smith is a native of Chicago’s south side, graduated from Harvard University, and started her professional career at IBM corporation.

Smith lives in Maryland with her husband and business partner, Gary A. Smith Sr. They have three millennial sons.

Contact her at jsmith@ivyplanninggroup.com

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