Staten Island Parent November 2015 by Staten Island Parent

#48585505 - Little girl dancing

November 2015

SOLUTIONS FOR EVERYDAY PARENTING

Celebrating

adoption

Honoring Our

Veterans

Holiday Guide:

• Where to Cut Down Your Own Christmas Tree • Holiday Fairs • Thanksgiving Crafts • Gift Giveaway

home for the holidays www.siparent.com

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November 2015

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contents • November 2015 Advertiser Index page 93

Cover Story There’s no place like home for the holidays. Or is there? If the stress of hosting has ever put a damper on your day, you’ll surely relate to our cover story this month . We’re detailing the many difficulties involved with having the holidays at your place.

Read more on page 48

>>features 18

Lifting Adoption’s Veil of Secrecy

Honoring Our Veterans

15 Things That Happen When Your Child is Obsessed With Dinosaurs

Dyslexia – Know the Symptoms

Me and Mrs. G.

SAT Test Revamped for the Spring

How to Blast Booger Picking

5 Common Infant Sleep Complications and How To Solve Them

Headaches in Children: When Do You Need to Worry?

>>Usual Stuff

44 64

Calendar of Events

Staten Island News

Birthday Club

Ask the Doctor

Growing Up Online

Party Needs

38 50

Good Sports

Put a New Twist on Hot Chocolate

Kids and Gifts: How Many is Too Much?

OMG I’m Mom

Birth Announcements

Christmas Tree Farms

Dear Teacher

Holiday Fairs

Life is Grand

Holiday Gift Guide & Giveway

North Pole Express Ticket Giveway

Thanksgiving Art Craft

Thanksgiving Food Craft

• November TOC_t of c.indd 1

Art and Production Michelle Yannaco operations & finance Director Linda Bellesi Account Executives Ilene Cohen Janine Mulé Cecilia Saccomagno Jodi Fatto

AWard Winning Magazine

Helping Shy Children Build Social Confidence

>>Holiday >>Fun Guide Stuff Christmas Tree Varieties and Care

senior editor/Designer Gerri Friscia

Parenting Media Association (PMA)

Publisher & editor-in-chief Roselle Farina Hecht

Editorial Assistants Nicole Farina Jeannine Cintron

>>parenting

Staff

16 Shenandoah Avenue • Suite C Staten Island, NY 10314 Advertising: 718.494.1932 Info@siparent.com

siparent.com Follow us on Facebook Twitter

S.I. Parent magazine is published 12 times a year. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. The publisher of this magazine does not assume responsibility for statements made by advertisers or writers.

>>Stuff You Need 87

It’s in the Cards

Family Classifieds

Professional Directory

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November 2015

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November 2015

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Usual Stuff

>> Staten Island News

Want more news, events, activities, contests, savings from local businesses, seasonal happenings in Staten Island and New Jersey? Become an S.I. Parent Family of Friends member today! Start receiving our e-newsletters by signing up on www.siparent.com/signup. It’s fast and easy. You can also sign up directly from our Facebook page by clicking on the “Sign Up” app button. we only send the good stuff!

Parent Teacher Conferences

As you head to this month’s Parent Teacher Conferences, take some time to prepare by meeting first with your child to get a heads-up on any potential problem they might be having in the classroom. Ask if there are any missing homework assignments or any upcoming projects they should be working on, or any other classroom issues you should be aware of. Take note of how long it takes your child to complete homework assignments so you can discuss with the teacher if they are on target with their time management skills. Do they need a lot of help with their work? If your child is struggling, consider their seat assignment in the classroom. Are they distracted by certain other students, traffic near their desk, proximity to windows, or use of technology? Now is the time to ask for a change or for advice on how to help them succeed this school year.

Public School Directories & More

With the 2015-1016 school year in full swing, it’s time to prepare for what’s to come beyond this year. The 2016 Middle School Directory is available for download and serves as a resource for fifth grade students who will be graduating elementary school later this year. In addition, the deadline to submit a request for Gifted and Talent testing is November 9 for students born between 2008 and 2011.

November 2015

For more information on Gifted and Talented Resources, middle school applications, as well as the high school admissions process and other important information from the Department of Education, go to siparent.com and click on the Schools tab at the top of the home page.

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‘Tis the Season It’s officially time to trade out your Jack-O-Lanterns for turkeys! The holidays are here and we want to make sure you make the most of the season with your family. Head to siparent.com

and click on our Holiday Happenings section to get the scoop on Holiday Fairs, tree farms, charity opportunities, local holiday events, crafts, and so much more!

Way to Go, P.S. 5!

imporant school dates November 3 Election Day (schools closed)

November 11 Veteran’s Day (schools closed) November 27-28 Thanksgiving Vacation (schools closed) Parent Teacher Conferences November 4 & 5 – Elementary Schools November 9 & 10 – D75 Schools November 17 & 18 – Middle Schools November 19 & 20 – High Schools

Kindergarten Applications

If your child was born in 2011, you’ll need to start thinking about kindergarten A.S.A.P. The kindergarten application process will begin one month sooner than previous years. The new application period will be from December 7, 2015 to January 15, 2016. The application process and priority structure will remain the same. Families will be able to apply online, over the phone, or in person at the Family Welcome Center through a single application. The application allows parents to apply to up to 12 options, ranking them in order of preference.

There will be a Kindergarten Information Session held on December 3 at 6pm at the Michael J. Petrides School (715 Ocean Terrace). Go to siparent.com to link to the 2016 Kindergarten Directory.

Congratulations to P.S. 5 The Huguenot School on receiving a 2015 Blue Ribbon Award, an honor bestowed upon schools across the country in recognition of academic excellence. 335 schools nationwide received the award this year, ten of which are in New York State and P.S. 5 was the only school to receive the award in Staten Island.

Free Anti-Bully Workshops

For anyone who has ever been a victim of bullying, it helps to know that you aren’t alone. The anti-bullying organization Play It Forward offers free monthly workshops for kids and teens who have been bullied or teased where they will be able to share their experiences in a safe environment and meet others who have been through something similar. Parents are welcome to join and meet with other parents. The next workshop will be held on Wednesday, November 18, 4-6pm at Rossville AME Zion (584 Bloomingdale Rd., lower level). For more information contact Debra Santulli-Barone at 646-765-6531.

MakerSpace Makeover

It’s been three years since Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc on Staten Island and unfortunately some businesses are still in the process of recovering. Staten Island MarkerSpace was one of those businesses – until HGTV star Nicole Curtis stopped by last month. Nicole teamed up with Bernzomatic blowtorches and the non-profit Rebuilding Together to help restore MakerSpace, which suffered three feet of flooding and structural damage during the storm. The renovations completed by Nicole and her team include new flooring, painting, and construction, as well as the addition of a new handmade metal sculpture crafted from Hurricane Sandy storm debris. Staten Island MakerSpace is a STEAM education (science, technology, education, arts, mathematics) and community innovation center located at 450 Front Street.

Kids Night on Broadway A night at the theatre isn’t just for grown-ups anymore. Kids Night on Broadway lets kids ages 6-18 see a Broadway show for free when accompanied by a full-paying adult. This year Kids Night on Broadway will be held January 9-15. In addition to a free show ticket, many nearby restaurants will also be offering free meals for kids that week. Visit siparent.com to

find out when the tickets go on sale and to see where you can get yours.

Shedding Light on Staten Island

The next time you visit the Staten Island Zoo or the Staten Island Museum, you’ll be seeing their exhibits in a whole new light. That’s because The New York Power Authority recently upgraded the lighting system at these two sites. The $280,000 energy efficiency project will save the city nearly $30,000 in annual energy costs and remove 110 tons of harmful greenhouse gas emissions from the atmosphere every year. The energy-saving LED fixtures are closer to natural light, giving new life to the museum exhibits.

Seeking Volunteers

Where to Turn is a Staten Island-based non-profit organization which runs various drives and clean-up efforts throughout the year in an effort to promote the beautification of the borough as well as provide assistance to those in need. Their initiatives often rely on the generosity of volunteers, many of which are local students. They are currently seeking volunteers for their winter Shoveling for Seniors program and will reward $500 to the middle school and high school with the most volunteers. They are also running a re-gifting drive over the holidays and a prom dress drive in the spring, in addition to weekly beach, park and cemetery cleanups starting in April. If your child or you are interested in donating your time or other resources to Where to Turn, call 718-966-6531 or email info@where-to-turn.org for more information. Community service credit is usually given to students who contribute.

November 2015

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parenting

>> Learning Disability

Dyslexia – Know the Symptoms did you know one in ten people have symptoms of dyslexia?

Structured Literacy describes highly organized, carefully sequenced and cumulative instruction of the basic language skills of listening, speaking, reading, and writing. Students systematically and explicitly learn the structure and use of sounds, syllables, words, sentences, and written discourse. Some of the warning signs associated with dyslexia include: • Difficulty learning to speak • Trouble learning letters and their sounds • Difficulty organizing written and spoken language • Trouble memorizing number facts • Difficulty reading quickly enough to comprehend • Trouble persisting with and comprehending longer reading assignments • Difficulty spelling • Trouble learning a foreign language • Difficulty correctly doing math operations

he symptoms of dyslexia include slow or inaccurate reading, poor spelling, poor writing, or mixing up similar words. But dyslexia is not simply “reading backwards.” Rather, it is a language-based learning disability and contrary to some beliefs, it is not due to either lack of intelligence or a desire to learn. Dyslexia occurs in people of all backgrounds and intellectual levels. People who are very bright can have dyslexia. They are more often capable or even gifted in areas that do not require strong language skills, such as art, computer science, design, drama, electronics, math, mechanics, music, physics, sales and sports.

Not all students who have difficulties with these skills have dyslexia. Formal testing of reading, language, and writing skills is the only way to confirm a diagnosis of suspected dyslexia.

Despite federal and state laws guaranteeing that public schools must provide a “free and appropriate” education to all students, it simply doesn’t happen for most children with dyslexia. The International Dyslexia Association (IDA) is changing this by better informing parents and ensuring that teachers across the country are trained in a structured literacy approach. With a structured literacy approach, individuals with dyslexia can and do learn successfully.

What to do if your child is exhibiting signs of dyslexia:

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Parents who suspect their child might be exhibiting signs of dyslexia or another language-based learning difference are encouraged to take action as soon as they suspect a problem. The earlier a child receives intervention the sooner he or she can get on the path to successful learning.

• Contact your child’s teacher, head of school, guidance counselor, or pediatrician and express your concerns.

November 2015

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Art Lab, Inc.

The School of Fine & Applied Arts at Snug Harbor

WINTER SEMESTER

Pediatric Multi-Disciplinary Diagnostic Evaluation Site SEIT Program & Treatment Center

Schedule Available November 2015. Online Registration Now Available.

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parenting

>> Learning Disability

• Request a formal evaluation of your child by a professional or request a referral for testing to confirm a diagnosis of dyslexia or another language-based learning difference. • Visit the International Dyslexia Association’s website www.interdys.org for an online screener, fact sheets, and helpful resources for parents. • Be an advocate for your child. If your child is diagnosed as having dyslexia, fight for proper accommodations in his or her current school or look into specialized schools or tutors. Information and resources can be found at www. interdys.org. • Keep a positive attitude. A diagnosis of dyslexia or another learning difference is not the end of the world. Children with dyslexia are bright, capable, and able to go on to college and successful careers. If your child has dyslexia, it simply means that he or she learns differently. Many top CEOs, scientists, artists, and entrepreneurs have dyslexia. Provided by the International Dyslexia Association www.interdys.org

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Staten Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular day camp Has moved to a new location

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parenting

>> SAT Changes

SAT Test Revamped for the Spring If you are the parent of a high school junior or sophomore planning to take the SAT, you should be aware that several changes were made to the test. (Current high school seniors will probably take the SAT before the test changes in March 2016.)

According to an e-survey conducted by Kaplan Test Prep (kaptest.com) of 309 self-described parents of college-bound students, 85% are still unaware that the SAT is changing, even after two years since the change was announced and a few short months before the new SAT launches in March 2016.* When provided more details about the proposed changes to the SAT, the surveyed parents’ opinions about the new format were divided: 30% say they viewed the changes as negative or think the exam will be harder; 30% view the changes as positive; 20% are indifferent; and 15% still don’t know enough to form an opinion. Here is a breakdown of the specific changes being made: • Math: The current SAT focuses on computational skills and allows students to use a calculator during all sections. The new SAT will focus on advanced algebra, data analysis, and real-world problem solving and calculators will only be permitted for one of two math sections.

score. The new SAT essay is optional, and asks students to read a 650-750 word passage and then prepare a facts-based essay analyzing how the author builds her/ his argument. • No Wrong Answer Penalty: The current SAT includes a ¼ point penalty for wrong answers. The new SAT eliminates the wrong answer point penalty. “It’s not surprising that most parents are still unaware of the upcoming SAT changes, as most are understandably focused on other aspects of the college admissions process like tuition, but the time to get all the facts about the test changes is now as Test Day is quickly approaching,” said Lee Weiss, vice president, Kaplan Test Prep. “Our survey found that the more parents learn about the new SAT, the more they understand how challenging the content will be for their kids. There is no doubt that the new SAT is more rigorous than the current one.”

_________________________________________ The New SAT Test Quick Facts:

• 4 parts: Reading, Writing and Language, Math, and the optional SAT Essay • 400–1600 score scale • 3 hours and 50 minutes with the SAT Essay — or 3 hours without it • 4 answer choices • 4 college application fee waivers for every student who qualifies for and uses an SAT fee waiver

What Stays the Same:

• Reading: The current SAT Reading section includes three 20-25 minute sections of sentence completions, and long- and short-passage reading questions. The new SAT Reading section will last 65 minutes and be made up of long passages followed by reading comprehension questions and will also test understanding of passages from U.S. and World Literature, History/Social Science and Science.

• It’s accepted by almost all U.S. colleges. • It’s typically taken by juniors in the spring and seniors in the fall. • SAT scores and high school GPA are a powerful combination. Used together, there’s nothing better at predicting potential college success.

• Writing & Language/Grammar: The current SAT tests grammar in the form of individual sentence correction. The new SAT will test grammar in the form of passages and will include questions about structure and reading comprehension.

• All-new essay — and it’s optional • No penalty for guessing • No vocab that you’ll never use again

• Essay: The current SAT essay is required, and asks students to develop a persuasive essay about an issue; facts and grammar have little bearing on the overall

Source: CollegeBoard.org

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What Changes:

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parenting

>> Bad Habits

How to Blast Booger Picking

s a mom or dad, it can seem that every time you turn around in the car, your little ones have their fingers so far up their noses you are afraid they might get stuck. No matter how many times you tell them “no,” they just continue to dig for gold. If you feel like you have tried everything and are at your wit’s end, here are some helpful tips to stop the booger-picking madness!

If you are the parent of a high school junior or sophomore planning to take the SAT, you should be aware that several changes were made to the test. (Current high school seniors will probably take the SAT before the test changes in March 2016.)

Hold a Booger Picking Intervention- Gather all the members of your family and calmly explain to your little one that booger picking is not an appetizing thing to witness. Explain to them that although many kids do it, it is not a good habit to have. Break the Cycle- Chances are if your little one is digging for gold then they are developing a bad habit. Break the cycle! Begin a new habit by waking up and adding nose blowing to their morning hygiene schedule. If a dry tissue is too irritating, try other alternatives on the market, such as saline wipes that won’t irritate sensitive little noses. Keep Their Hands Busy- Breaking a habit takes time and distractions. If your child picks his or her nose while riding in the car, begin by introducing new tasks he or she can do. Hand your child a tissue every time you see her put her finger in her nose. Chances are she’ll get so frustrated with having to wipe her nose every time you catch her picking, she’ll turn to the tissues more often instead. Check That Thing Out- Take a look at your kid’s nose. If it is red and itchy, it’s no wonder he runs for the hills at the site of a Kleenex. Invest in some nasal TLC products that will get his little honker up and running. Run a humidifier in your home or in your child’s bedroom. If your child’s nose itches, he might be picking it at to relieve the itching. A humidifier increases the moisture in the air, which can help with the dryness in his nose. If All Else Fails- Take charge and keep your kid’s nose clean. Use a suction bulb, tissue, or saline nasal spray to remove boogers and crust. When nothing’s in their nose to pick out, hopefully your kids will get the hint and move on. Plus, they will hate being treated like an infant and will begin to want to take on cleaning their own noses properly.

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November 2015

Provided by the makers of Boogie Wipes and Boogie Mist, gentle, non-medicated, sterile, saline alternatives to dry tissues. www.boogiewipes.com

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10/22/15 1:25 PM

ADVERTORIAL

Auditory Processing Disorder:

Your Child Does Not Have to Live With It!

her, the sound of chalk on the blackboard, the clearing of a throat, all seem to conspire against your child’s ability to make sense of the teacher’s voice. She can’t seem to distinguish the background noise from the primary sound she’s meant to hear. It all sounds somehow the same. Here there may be a dual problem of distraction as well as a difficulty in filtering sounds. For such a child, a freer classroom environment is pure torture. The teacher may not mind noise in the classroom, but the child with APD can find it impossible to differentiate the sound of the teacher’s voice from the softer sounds of student chitchat. This is just one possible combination of two entirely different issues that may make it difficult for your child to process auditory information.

Central Auditory Processing Disorder — The Cognitive Approach

Auditory Processing Disorder: it’s what the experts call it when your child’s hearing is just fine, but she doesn’t always understand what is said. Does your child say, “What?” no matter how loud or slow you say things? Is she agitated in noisy public spaces? Does she greet most questions with a blank stare? She may have an auditory processing disorder. An estimated one in twenty children has it, and it’s on the rise. Auditory processing is a series of complex operations performed by the central nervous system that cause no difficulty for most children. They hear sounds and understand them just fine. But for some children, the sounds they hear might as well be in a foreign language, though the child’s ears are working fine. In auditory processing disorders, the brain cannot interpret the information that the ears hear. One child may not understand what she hears where there is lots of background noise. She can’t seem to filter the sounds she needs to hear from the sound of the crowd in the surrounding environment. Another child has trouble following instructions. A third child has an excellent head for math and no hearing problems at all, but when confronted with word problems, is completely lost. All of these situations may signify an auditory processing disorder. But that’s only the beginning of the issues a parent might see in a child with one of the many issues that fall under the heading of auditory processing disorder (APD) or central auditory processing disorder (CAPD), as it is sometimes known to show its origins as a disorder of the central nervous system. There are myriad ways in which APD is expressed. There is the child with APD who is upset by loud or sudden noises. She bursts into tears when an airplane flies overhead, or puts her hands over her ears when you take her clothes shopping at a busy mall. It is obvious to you as a parent, that your child is overly sensitive to auditory information. Sometimes the problem with processing auditory information is due to a learning difficulty. The child diagnosed with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), for instance, generally needs more time to process auditory information. That may mean that by the time you’re finished saying, “Can you go to the store and buy a dozen eggs?” she has grasped that you want her to go to the store, but has missed the end of your sentence completely. Her brain needed more time to process the words she hears—more time that is, than the time it took you to say them. She might answer, “What?” infuriatingly, every time you ask her to do something. It’s not just a stalling technique to gain time: in her effort to puzzle out what you’ve said at the beginning, she’s lost the end. In fact, there may be more than one difficulty getting in the way of your child’s ability to process what she hears. You may have noticed your child has no trouble understanding the spoken word in a one-on-one situation, for instance when you read her a bedtime story, but she is hopelessly lost in the classroom where the slightest sound distracts her: a child’s foot swinging endlessly behind

The good news is that APD is treatable. People with Central Auditory Processing Disorder can truly excel in life — it’s a matter of training the brain to better process the sounds that define our world. Auditory processing is a cognitive skill necessary for learning — it’s been defined as “what we do with what we hear” (Katz, Stecker & Henderson, 1992). At Audiology Island, we’ve developed auditory skills training program that confronts and corrects the auditory processing elements necessary for reading, spelling, and other “sound-to-code” mental models.

Central Auditory Processing Disorder — Audiology Island Can Help!

If you or your child show signs of Central Auditory Processing Disorder, it’s important to get properly tested and start the process of auditory skills training as soon as possible. At Audiology Island, we’ve seen phenomenal results in a matter of weeks. We encourage you to learn more about our assessment and therapy options. Article by Varda Epstein

Audiology Island Services:

- Complete Audiological Evaluation (Adult and Pediatric) - Auditory Processing Evaluation (age 5 and older) - Auditory Processing Therapy (age 5 and older): One on One Auditory Processing Therapy, Interactive Metronome, The Listening Program (TLP) - Failed School Screening Follow-up - Hearing Aid evaluation and Fitting (Adult and Pediatric) - Ear Protection, Swim Molds and other Custom Ear Products - Balance Testing (Adult and Pediatric) - Tinnitus Evaluation and Management - Aural Rehabilitation (Adult and Pediatric – Group and Individual) - Auditory Brainstem Response Evaluation (ABR) - Otoacoustic Emissions Evaluation (OAE) - Single Sided Deafness Evaluation and Management

148 New Dorp Lane • 2nd Floor • SI, NY 10306

718.980.0188 www.audiologyisland.com

Dr. Stella Fulman, Au.D , CCC-A Doctor of Audiology

Dr. Zhanneta Shapiro, Au.D., CCC-A Doctor of Audiology

November 2015

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feature

>> Unconditional Love

Lifting Adoption’s Veil of Secrecy The new normal is an open adoption, where both biological parents and adoptive parents meet and keep in touch.

ometimes an adopted child grows up wondering about his or her birth parents and family history. But that’s not the case with open adoptions, where the adoptive parents and their adopted child maintain an ongoing relationship with either one or both of the child’s birth parents. Such situations, once uncommon, have become the norm for infant adoptions, helping to lift the veil of secrecy that left many adopted children unsure of their origins. Brandi Rarus, who adopted her daughter, Zoe, as an infant in 2004, says she knew almost right away that she wanted to keep the lines of communication open with the birth parents. “I could see how much Zoe’s birth mother, Jess Urban, loved

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her and decided that she could always be part of her life,” says Rarus, co-author with Gail Harris of the book “Finding Zoe: A Deaf Woman’s Story of Identity, Love and Adoption.” Zoe’s was both an open adoption and a special-needs adoption, another cause Rarus is passionate about. Zoe is deaf. So is Rarus, who lost her hearing at age 6 after contracting spinal meningitis, and Rarus’ husband, Tim, who was deaf at birth.

Legacy of an Ad Once there were two women who never knew each other. One you do not remember, the other you call “Mother.” Two different lives shaped to make yours one. One became your guiding star, the other became your sun. The first gave you life, the second taught you to live it. The first gave you a need for Love, the second was there to give it. One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name. One gave you the seed for talent, the other gave you an aim.

“Zoe’s adoption into a deaf family that uses American Sign Language was so important because she was given exposure to language that she may have been denied otherwise by a family that did not know sign language,” Rarus says. Originally, another couple adopted Zoe. But as the hearing problem Zoe had at birth grew worse, the couple realized they could not provide Zoe the home she needed, set-

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ting the stage for the Rarus family to enter the picture. “After meeting Brandi and Tim, I just knew in my heart they were the right parents for my daughter,” says Jess Urban, who became pregnant with Zoe when she was an unwed 17-year-old. Decades ago, nearly all adoptions were closed, with no contact between birth and adoptive parents. That has changed. Here are a few facts about open adoption: • The statistics. Only about 5 percent of infant adoptions in the U.S. take place without some sort of ongoing relationship between birth parents and adoptive families, according to a 2012 study by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. About 55 percent are fully open, with ongoing contact that includes the child, and 40 percent are “mediated,” where pictures and letters are exchanged, but there is no direct contact.

n Adopted Child One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears. One saw your first smile, the other dried your tears. One gave you up, it was all that she could do. The other prayed for a child and was led straight to you. And now you ask me through your tears the age old question through the years, “Heredity or environment, which am I the product of?” Neither my darling, neither, Just two different kinds of Love.

• The advantages. Proponents say open adoptions give children a deeper understanding of who they are and where they came from; an explanation about why they were placed for adoption; and the opportunity to have a relationship with the birth family. They will access to their mediacal history as well. The child also will have no need to search for or wonder about the birth parents.

she is and where she came from in such a beautiful way, I see my own self in her and know even more that she is truly my daughter.” Zoe even attended her birth mother’s wedding when she was 8, serving as a junior bridesmaid. She has visited with her birth father, BJ Briggs, who to this day has photos of Zoe on his refrigerator. Briggs, who was 22 when Jess Urban became pregnant, had been reluctant to place his daughter up for adoption. He wanted to be involved in raising her. He acknowledges he was upset when the adoption center mailed him photos of Zoe and her new family and he realized the first adoption didn’t work out and a new set of parents he knew nothing about had adopted his daughter. Like Urban, Briggs came to accept that Brandi and Tim Rarus and their three biological sons were the perfect family for Zoe, and allowing her to be adopted had been the right decision. “Zoe helped me to realize that if you’re going to make a decision, then make it,” Briggs says. “And if it comes from inside of you, and you feel that it’s right, it’s going to be pretty darn close to being right.” By Brandi Rarus, who lost her hearing at age 6, and has traveled the country speaking out for deaf children and building awareness of what it means to be deaf. She was Miss Deaf America in 1988. (www.brandirarus.com)

• The prevalence. Adoptions, open or otherwise, are common enough that the majority of Americans have a personal connection to them in some way. Another Donaldson Adoption Institute survey once revealed that 60 percent of Americans either know someone who is adopted, have adopted a child themselves or have put a child up for adoption. “I realize that having an open adoption of this kind may not be right for other adoptive families, but it is right for ours,” Rarus says. “When I see Zoe embracing who

November 2015

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feature

>> Respect

Honoring Our Veterans

taten Island is a very patriotic place, as substantiated by the number of memorials dotting the island. Among these are parks, highways, and boulevards honoring those who have served in our military. Several high schools recognize their military alumni with memorials of their own as well. Veterans Memorial Hall at Snug Harbor; WWII Veterans War Memorial Ice Skating Rink at Clove Lakes Park; Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park in West Brighton; Great Kills Veterans Memorial; and Father Capodanno Boulevard are all nods to the brave men and women who have defended the liberties and freedoms of our country. They hold a special place in our hearts and an eternal spot in their country’s history. Any opportunity is a good time to commemorate the bravery and selfless deeds of military personnel but November 11th is designated especially as a time to thank veterans for their service, as the day commemorates the anniversary of the end of World War I on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. The following are just a handful of ways to show appreciation for military men and women.

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· When dining out, ask your server if you can pay the tab for a soldier or veteran you see in the restaurant.

friends. It can help them gain perspective on the important roles the military plays.

· Attend a military parade with your family and explain the significance of the day to your children.

· Ask a veteran to give a speech at a school or to be the guest of honor at a special function.

· Draft letters and send care packages to soldiers currently in service far away from home.

· Drive disabled veterans to doctors’ appointments or to run any errands.

· Ask your company if Veteran’s Day can be an observed holiday at your place of business each year to pay homage to servicemen and women. · Support a military family in your town who may be missing a loved one stationed elsewhere. Make meals, help with chores such as grocery shopping, or simply provide emotional support.

· Support a local VFW organization. · Create a scrapbook for a veteran in your life. · Cheer for or thank military personnel each time you see them. · Visit the veterans’ portion of a nearby cemetery and place poppies or other flowers on the graves.

· Volunteer time at a veterans’ hospital. You may be able to read with veterans or engage in other activities.

· Always keep the military on your mind and never forget those who have served and didn’t return home.

· Get involved with a military support charity that can provide much-needed funds to struggling families or disabled veterans.

· Visit a military memorial near you.

· Have children speak with veterans you know-- in your family or with

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Staten Island Military History Trail

There are the 40 points of interest along this trail that capture the courage, sacrifice, and diversity of Staten Island’s military heritage. From the 1700s through the 21st century, Staten Islanders of all races, ethnicities, creeds, and socioeconomic backgrounds have participated in America’s military conflicts. Staten Islanders also did their part on the home front to support the troops or to voice their desire for peace. The sacrifices made by Staten Island’s veterans are remembered in numerous memorials and monuments around the island. At the base of the flagpole at Paulo Park in St. George reads the remembrance: “To the Veterans of Staten Island who have served in times of war and peace we give thanks to God and remember those men and women, especially those who made the ultimate sacrifice and those who are unaccounted for, in pursuit of Freedom.”

Staten Island is Proud to Support Our Troops For a list of Staten Island businesses offering discounts to veterans go to www.siparent.com/veterans

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Staten Island Military History Trail 40 Points of Interest:

1. Paulo Park Veterans Memorial and the Borough Hall Mural of the Skirmish at St. Andrewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Church, 1776 2. Major Clarence T. Barrett Memorial 3. Fort Hill Park at St. George 4. Watering Place/African American Loyalists 5. Homeport (Naval Station New York) 6. Matthew J. Buono Monument 7. Fort Wadsworth 8. The Father Vincent R. Capodanno Memorial and the Freedom Circle at South Beach 9. Midland Beach Veterans Memorial 10. Miller Field 11. Memorial Park at Richmond Road & New Dorp Lane 12. Colonel Robert G. Shaw Memorial at Moravian Cemetery

For info on these locations & to view more historical maps, visit www.si350.org/historical-maps

13. Memorial Garden at Pouch Camp 14. Egbertville World War I Memorial 15. Great Kills Veterans Memorial 16. Battle of the Bulge Memorial Plaza and Monument 17. Pleasant Plains World War I Memorial 18. Conference House (Billopp House) 19. Travis World War I and World War II Memorials 20. Halloran General Hospital 21. Egbert Triangle and Memorial 22. Patriots Park, Julius Weissglass Memorial Field, West Shore Little League 23. Former Manhattan Project storage site 24. Reformed Church of Staten Island 25. Veterans Park 26. Jewish World War II Veterans Memorial at Temple Emanu-El 27. Camp McClellan, Civil War Training Camp 28. Kreuzer-Pelton House 29. Staten Island Armory and the Staten Island Vietnam Veterans Memorial 30. World War II Veterans Memorial Ice Skating Rink and the Pvt. Joseph F. Merrell, Jr. Monument 31. Korean War Veterans Memorial and Park 32. POW/MIA Memorial Park 33. Fox Hills Hospital/U. S. Debarkation Hospital 34. Hero Park 35. Concord World War II Memorial 36. New Dorp World War II Memorial 37. Lookout Place at La Tourette Hill 38. Watering Place/The French and Indian War 39. The Hiker Monument at Tompkinsville Park 40. Merchant Mariners Memorial

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feature

>> Obsessions

15 Things That Happen When Your Child is Obsessed With Dinosaurs

ow that he’s a big boy of six whole years, he’s moved on quite a bit. Video game characters seem to be all the rage these days, but I know his prehistoric pals will always have a special place in his heart. And (I can’t even believe what I’m about to say), I actually kind of miss those dinosaur days. He drove me a little insane sometimes with the whole obsession, but looking back, it was pretty adorable. If your little T-Rex head is or was, anything like mine used to be, then you’ll relate to most (if not all) of these things:

You’ve learned that there is no such thing as a brontosaurus, and apparently there never was. Yup, your science teacher was dead wrong. Nowadays it’s all about the brachiosaurus.

You notice that Dino Dan is clearly on some very powerful hallucinogens, but we’re supposed to just accept it and watch the show anyway, no questions asked.

Your visit to the Museum of Natural History starts on the fourth floor, where all the cool dinosaur bones are. Don’t kid yourselves into thinking you came to see anything else (except maybe the giant blue whale- he’s pretty cool).

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You are way better at correctly pronouncing loooooong dinosaur names than you ever thought, thanks to the little lesson in phonetics under each name. At this point, there is nothing you can’t properly sound out. Micropachycephalosaurus? Epidexipteryx? Xinjiangovenator? Bring it on.

You can never have too many dinosaur encyclopedias. And no, there is no limit to how many pages you’ll be asked to read every night.

Shopping for kids’ clothes in a store with not even a single dinosaur tee shirt in sight is a complete waste of time.

You will happily pay an inexcusable amount of money for any article of clothing with a really cool-looking T-Rex on it.

Three-years old is not at all too young to watch Jurassic Park for the first time.

will.

Barney does NOT count as a dinosaur. Never has, never

There is no storage bin spacious enough for your child’s vast toy dinosaur collection. And every time you attempt to close the lid, there’s at least one

tail sticking out somewhere preventing you from doing so. Better luck next time.

People say it’s just a “childhood phase,” which you find hilarious. What kind of “phase” lasts at least THREE YEARS?? We prefer the term “healthy obsession.”

Your child learned the difference between a carnivore and an herbivore before he knew his ABCs.

You save money on Halloween costumes, because he (or she!) just wants to be T-Rex every year.

Playing “pretend” has taken on a new meaning in your house; there are days that your child won’t answer to anything but “T-Rex” and you occasionally have to explain to strangers why your child is roaring very loudly at them for no reason.

You wonder if the dinosaur obsession might continue beyond childhood, and your little one might even someday choose a career in paleontology. And then you can’t help but think of Ross from Friends. By Jeannine Cintron, a Staten Island mom of two, www.highchairsandheadaches.com

November 2015

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If you have a kid who’s really into dinosaurs, you know that just saying they “like” them is not merely enough. My son, for example, was completely obsessed with dinosaurs for at least three years of his life. I think it started the moment he laid his tiny toddler eyes on his very first T-Rex. It must have been love at first sight. From then on, it was all he would ever talk and think about. We had all the books, toys, stuffed animals, movies, TV shows, clothes, EVERYTHING. It was just dinosaurs, dinosaurs, dinosaurs for his entire toddlerhood and beyond.

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Usual Stuff

>> Ask The Doctor

Can We Talk About Your Smoking? by Nancy Sayegh-Rooney, RN

Sponsored by

Staten Island residents have the highest rates of lung cancer anywhere in the five boroughs. Richmond University Medical Center steps up to the plate with lung screenings for smokers at risk, education, community outreach, and patient support. In the fall of 2014, Richmond University Medical Center began a new program to help residents of Staten Island in the prevention and detection of lung cancer. The Lung Health Center at Richmond University Medical Center, with Dr. Keith Diaz, who is board certified in pulmonary and critical medicine, as its supervising physician, was able to begin its work. The Richmond University Medical Center Lung Screening Program is differentiated from other hospital’s screening programs by including several elements: education programs, community outreach, and support for the patient throughout the entire screening process. These components — the last, most importantly — fall to the role of a pulmonary nurse navigator, Nancy SayeghRooney, RN, who came on board specifically for this program. In addition to her patient interaction, Ms. Sayegh-Rooney has conducted educational sessions for over a hundred staff members to date through a GlaxoSmithKline program. Program participants include nurses, physical therapists, and X-ray technicians — all of whom come into contact with patients. The idea is to teach healthcare professionals how to talk about smoking cessation, as cigarette smoking is the primary risk factor for developing lung cancer. “You can’t just tell someone to quit, that smoking’s bad for their health,” remarks Ms. Sayegh-Rooney. “We give them the resources to start the conversation.” The screening process officially started in November, and over 70 patients have come in since then, with the numbers increasing every week. According to Dr. Diaz, “We’re at the forefront in providing these screenings, as well as education, outreach, and the smoking cessation component. It’s our duty to provide these services to the community, and this is just the beginning.”

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Community outreach translates into patient support seamlessly: Ms. SayeghRooney is often out in the field at health expos and making presentations to

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community councils, organizations, and clubs; at all these events, she passes out business cards that have both her office and cell phone numbers. “Go see your primary care doctor and get a prescription,” she tells them. “Then call me, and I’ll handle the rest.” They do; and she does. She sets up appointments for her patients, accompanies them to the scan, gives them more information while they’re waiting, and calls them with the results once Dr. Diaz has reviews the scans. Ms. SayeghRooney coordinates the scheduling with the patients, the CT scan technicians, and the radiology department so that the work can be done swiftly and efficiently. The CT scan itself takes only three minutes; Ms. Sayegh- Rooney tries to get the patients in and out of the office in fifteen. “My patients tell me they can’t believe how easy it is.” If the scan is negative, the high-risk patient is not off the hook; an annual lung cancer screening is now part of his check-up. If the results are positive, Ms. Sayegh- Rooney communicates that information, too. She lets them know that they need to go back to their primary care doctor for further studies, and tells them about the team in place at Richmond University Medical Center — Dr. Diaz; Jeffrey Cane, MD, Chief of Thoracic Surgery; and Thomas Forlenza, MD, Director of Oncology — so they have the right people to turn to. Ms. Sayegh-Rooney remains in touch with them, making sure the patients have a plan, and providing help in setting up appointments if they need it. According to Dr. Diaz, she’s the perfect person for this role. He passes along the many compliments he’s received from his patients. “They come in to see me, and tell me how wonderful Nancy is. How she made them feel at ease, and made the whole process less stressful. She decreases their anxiety, and increases their level of trust.”

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parenting

>> Headaches

Headaches in Children:

When Do You Need to Worry? It’s not just adults who get headaches; more and more children complain of these types of problems as well.

ccording to Dr. Wendy Anderson-Willis of Nationwide Children’s Hospital, the two types of headaches that they see most commonly in children are tension headaches and migraines. It’s important to watch out for the triggers. Sickness is one of the most obvious times when a child will have a headache. Here are some of the other major causes: • Stress, crying • Skipping meals • Dehydration • Sleep problems

• Vision changes, not wearing glasses or overuse of contact lenses • Menstrual cycles in girls • Congestion from allergies

There are other triggers that can be environmentally based. Children who consume artificial sweeteners, MSG, and caffeine (also caffeine withdrawal) can be at risk for headaches. Sometimes even certain kinds of cheeses will give them headaches. You may also notice that loud music and long car trips can trigger a headache. Often children will get what we call a rebound headache from the overuse of headache medication. So what do you do if your kid says he/she has a headache? Dr. Anderson-Willis recommends having something to eat and drink and then for the child to take some time to lie down in a dark and quiet room. Sleep is very important in headache relief and this will often help the symptoms go away. Sometimes headaches do not respond to sleep so an over the counter pain reliever like acetaminophen or ibuprofen can be helpful. If you give your child an over-the-counter medication, make sure it is not aspirin. Never give aspirin to anyone under 18 years of age. It can cause Reye syndrome, which is a serious illness.

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“The biggest thing I tell parents,” says Dr. Anderson-Willis, “is to track how many times a month their child complains of a headache. If it is mild and less than once a month, then go ahead and treat it at home. If headaches are happening more than once a month or if it is severe, it is time to see a doctor. Your doctor should ask about how often this happens and what you think may be triggering it. I always ask the child what their typical day looks like, so I can get a sense of what is going on that may lead to headaches. I look for whether they regularly skip meals, or if they are taking in too much caffeine. I want to know if they are sleeping at night and if they are drinking fluids throughout the day.” If you, as a parent, can keep a “headache diary,” it will be helpful to the doctor. Write down everything from when things start, to what they had to eat or drink that day, to how bad the pain is and how you treated it. If your child has any of the following symptoms it is important to see a doctor right away to rule out anything more serious: • Fever

• Head injury

• Neck pain/stiffness

• Loss of consciousness

• Vomiting

• A headache that is present when waking up

• Seizures • Dizziness

• If the headache fails to resolve with sleep

• Vision changes Most headaches aren’t signs that something more is wrong, but occasionally headaches are caused by more serious medical conditions. Bottom line for parents: If your son or daughter has frequent headaches, you can do more than simply surrender to the condition or manage the symptoms. One of the best ways to treat headaches in children is to stop them before they start. Work to see if you and your child’s doctor can identify the causes and find a solution. By Dr. Wendy Anderson-Willis, Nationwide Children’s Hospital

10/21/15 12:15 PM

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parenting

>> GPS

ME & MRS. G.

“M

om, we have a gift for you. Something you’ve probably always wanted but would never buy for yourself.”

senile cats; and my in-denial of hearing loss husband with his television blaring; I appreciate the silence of the car. But I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

I closed my eyes, clicked my heels together, and wished myself in OZ. Maybe I would have settled for rafting on the Amazon River, or even riding the rails in Alaska - any place where my family would not be unable to present me with another a surprise gift. They were always well meaning, but with a history of disastrous gifts.

“It’s a great gift, but you know that I am technologically challenged. Why I’m still using a flip phone.” I reminded them, then added, “And I only recently learned how to text because, as you warned, if I’m ever taken hostage during a robbery I might have to hide under a desk and text for help.”

When my last child entered school the words ‘six hours of freedom’ became my mantra. Fearing I would be lonely my kids presented me with a two-pound ball of hair that looked more like a mop than a dog. I didn’t want nor need the company, especially when it howled all the time, constantly peed on my wood floors no matter how many times I walked it, and nipped anyone who tried to pet it. The dog was also prone to humping pillows and chewing furniture legs. My oldest child, a mother of one, put the box on the kitchen table. “It’s a GPS for your car. I gave her son the look of death. When he tuned red I knew he was the guilty one who ratted me out to the family. I didn’t consider the two of us getting lost in New Jersey my fault. The sign said ‘NJ Turnpike’ but it did not state that the entrance was twenty miles away, over the river and through the hills along unmarked roads - leading us into Pennsylvania instead of back home to Staten Island. Admit it - you’ve been lost in New Jersey. Everybody has. The signs are confusing. I believe this is the attempt of New Jersey residents to halt the great New York migration pattern that starts in Brooklyn, winds its way through Staten Island and ends in Jersey towns such as Middletown, Manalapan and Howell. Brilliant idea - just redirects everybody to Pennsylvania and hope they like that state so much that they won’t want to live in New Jersey! Seeing my less than enthusiastic expression, my middle daughter tried to press the point. “Mom, this will really help you. You won’t have to worry about anything. The GPS will talk you through each step of the journey.” I rolled my eyes. Living with a daughter who couldn’t function without listening to the radio and her seven year old guitar practicing son; two

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My three daughters now gave me the look of death. Finally the youngest one said, “Just try it for a week, please.” To keep family peace I agreed, but after a few trips it became apparent that the GPS, who I named Mrs. G., and I were not going to be friends. Mrs. G. always chose the longest route through the worst neighborhoods, often sending me east in order for me to go west although I could have gone west in the beginning of the trip and reached my destination in half the time. When in New York City only two blocks away from my Financial District destination she instructed me to drive over the Brooklyn Bridge, follow a detour through Brooklyn Heights, then return to Manhattan. Whenever I told Mrs. G. she was wrong she scolded back with that annoying word “recalculating.” Sometimes she said it several times to make sure I got the message - it was her way, or no way. The end of our relationship finally came the night Mrs. G. tried to kill me. Ignoring her stern commands to stay on the main road, I followed a detour that safely took me around a closed off bridge. She was not pleased, repeating “recalculating” so many time that it was either turn her off or throw the GPS unit into a Rest Stop trashcan. Hoping my daughters could recoup their money I brought Mrs. G. home. Unfortunately, the GPS purchase was final. So, she joined the box of ‘thanks but no thanks gifts’ that includes a thigh master, a chillow pillow, The Twilight Saga Books collection, and a contraption that allows you to grow tomatoes upside-down. Moral of the story? The best way to get from Here to There is ask a guy who works at a local gas station. He will not say “recalculating” and he might even draw you a map. By Jackie Clements-Marenda, an Eltingville resident, who is the mother of three, grandmother of four.

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Usual Stuff

>> Growing Up Online

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What’s the best way to raise generous kids? That question takes on new urgency during the holidays when families are urged to participate in national events like Giving Tuesday (the first Tuesday after Thanksgiving) as well as local projects such as canned food drives and angel trees.

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Valuable as these seasonal efforts may be, some experts argue that kids benefit more when they have year-round opportunities to think about and respond to needs that resonate with them. One study done by the Philanthropy Institute at the University of Indiana found that children were 20% more likely to be generous givers if their parents talked with them regularly about the good they could do by contributing time and money. The best charitable projects connect with the interests of the child as well as the your family’s resources and values. The following websites offer a wide variety of ways families can get involved in doing good, throughout the holidays and beyond. Micro giving. A number of websites allow visitors to make tiny donations simply by doing things that are part of their daily routine. These websites aren’t a substitute for other projects, but they do create a kind of mindfulness about causes that deserve your support. And, for kids, they also demonstrate the cumulative power when many people do small good things. Searching. GoodSearch.com is a philanthropic search engine which donates 50% of its advertising revenue to a cause that you designate. The site also has a Goodshop option which allows you to donate a percentage of your purchase to charity. Clicking. Care2.com has an entire page filled with sites that allow you to support favorite causes by clicking once a day. Visit www.care2.com/click-todonate. The sites are supported by sponsors who make micro-donations for each click. Walking. Anyone with a smartphone can download the app at charitymiles. org. Then you and your child can choose one of the approved charities. A corporate sponsor will donate up to 25 cents for every mile you walk or run and up to 10 cents for every mile you log on your bike.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Sponsor a child. Children often like the idea of helping another child who is the same age. Plan International (www.planusa.org/forsponsors) and Children International (children.org) have websites which make it easy to identify a specific child in a specific country. Children International allows donations to individuals, families or communities. Plan International encourages sponsors to communicate with and even visit children.

718.761.2090 • 268 Todt Hill Road

Charitable gift cards. Several websites will help you create donation cards. If you give one to a child or, for that matter, other family members, they get the satisfaction of choosing who will receive the donation (and you get a tax deduction). Justgive.org and tisbest.org serve a wide range of charities. Both

Corner of Westwood Ave, Near Slosson Avenue

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charge a small service fee which covers the creation of the card, as well as the credit card fee. Reinvent family traditions. With a little thought, families can make special occasions even more meaningful by sharing the joy. For example, if you make special foods for a holiday, double the batch so you can share with an elderly neighbor or a family that’s facing hard times. At birthday parties, consider asking guests to bring a gently used book or toy to be donated to a local charity. Or create a birthday-in-a-box for a child who might not otherwise have a party. For details about this and other generous ideas, visit family-to-family.org. Join the crowd. Crowdfunding is a popular way to support good causes. Crowdrise.com, startsomegood.com, and justgiving.com are all good ways to expose teens and pre-teens to what others are doing to make the world a better place. If you find a cause that connects with your child, you may want to match whatever the child decides to donate. Some families create a jar for spare change and decide together where to donate the funds. For younger children, consider a “money savvy” bank that helps kids allocate their allowance to spending, saving, donating, and investing (msgen.com). Make a loan. Sometimes the best way to help people is to loan them what they need to start a business. Kiva.com pools contributions as small as $25 into small loans that can be used to start or expand entrepreneurial projects that improve the lives of impoverished families. When the loan is repaid, your family can invest again. Volunteer your time. For many families, giving time makes more sense than giving money. Volunteermatch.org will help you find both local and virtual ways to volunteer in your community. Make donations count. Not all charities are created equal. Some, for example, spend a disproportionate amount of what they raise on salaries or fund-raising. To be sure a charity is legitimate and well-run, encourage older children to do a little research. Give.org, a site managed by the Better Business Bureau, evaluates organizations on several criteria, including board oversight, transparency and donor privacy. Charitynavigator.org provides information on charities with donations over one million dollars. Charitywatch.org does a very rigorous review of a smaller number of charities. Foundationcenter.org provides easy access to the 990 forms which charities must file to preserve their tax exempt status. Whatever you decide to do, remember that the real benefits come from helping kids recognize needs and think constructively about what they can do to help. You don’t really need a website or an app for that—just an open heart and willingness to give what you can.

By Carolyn Jabs, M.A., who raised three computer savvy kids including one with special needs. She has written Growing Up Online for ten years and is working on a book about constructive responses conflict. Other columns are available at www.growing-up-online.com. @ Copyright, 2015. Carolyn Jabs. All rights reserved.

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parenting

>> Bedtime

5 Common Infant Sleep Complications It’s completely normal for babies to wake up multiple times throughout the night, as tired moms and dads know all too well.

ere are some of the most common sleep problems in babies and the steps you can take to help resolve the issues, leading to more sleep for everyone in the house!

Acid Reflux

If you’ve ever eaten spicy food and felt the subsequent burning sensation in your chest, you know just how painful acid reflux can be. Spitting up, or reflux, is a common condition that can make it tough for babies to sleep. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, reflux occurs when your baby’s stomach is full or when he changes position suddenly, causing a mixture of food and stomach acid to press up against the top of your baby’s stomach.

cereal to your baby’s formula to thicken it. You can also try feeding your baby smaller amounts of food more frequently. Keep your baby upright for some time after feeding to allow his food to settle.

Infant Sleep Apnea

All of us have short pauses in breathing while we sleep. When the pauses last longer than 15 seconds, however, it’s known as sleep apnea. It’s a condition that affects adults as well as babies. Central sleep apnea, or CSA, is caused by underdevelopment of the baby’s young brain. The brain fails to properly signal a baby’s muscles to breathe properly. Obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA, is caused by a physical blockage of the airway, sometimes from an infant’s tiny airway closing in on itself. Some babies experience a combination of both, known as mixed apnea. A warning sign of apnea is a long pause in a baby’s breathing followed by a sharp intake of breath or choking sound as the baby gasps to regain breath. A doctor or sleep specialist can make a definitive diagnosis. Though infant sleep apnea can be a dangerous condition, it is treatable with the help of a medical professional. The use of a breathing machine may help your baby breathe smoothly, and medicine can help stimulate proper breathing. Some parents find it useful to use a baby breathing monitor, which can alert you if your baby has an extended pause in breath.

“Sometimes, since a baby’s muscles aren’t fully developed, the ring of muscle at the top of the stomach relaxes,” says Dr. Vitaliy Soloveychik, advising neonatologist for the infant sleep resource Safesleep.MonBaby.com. “This allows food to pass back up into the baby’s esophagus, which can be quite uncomfortable.”

Teething. Oh, those painful baby teeth! Your baby’s first teeth will begin to come in between four and seven months of age, and it can make sleeping next to impossible.

Ouch! The reflux is a self-limited condition that resolves with time. Dr. Soloveychik advises that you check with your doctor if you think spitting up is causing a problem for your baby. Your doctor may suggest adding a tiny amount of baby

To help your baby get to sleep, the AAP recommends parents massage babies’ gums gently with their fingers to help blood circulate in the area. Offer your baby chilled pacifiers, cold bananas and frozen bagels to chew on, which will help ease the pain a bit.

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parenting

>> Infant Sleep

Parents should not use over-the-counter numbing gels containing benzocaine until children are at least two years old. These gels can cause serious conditions like seizures.

Colic

Most babies get fussy, especially in the evening after a long day. But when their fussiness turns to screaming and crying inconsolably, it may be a case of colic. Colic is the term used to describe incessant crying and screaming typically caused by an enlarged or irritated stomach. If your baby is rocking her legs up and passing gas, it’s a pretty good sign colic is the cause. “Sometimes colic can be caused by sensitivity to something the mother is eating when she is breastfeeding,” Dr. Soloveychik said. “Moms can try eliminating certain foods like dairy or caffeine that can irritate babies’ stomachs.” If you’re feeding your baby formula, talk with your pediatrician about using one that’s specially formulated for colic. You can also try laying your baby tummy-down on your lap and rubbing his or her back. This may help relieve some of the pressure caused by built-up gas. However, never place your baby to sleep on her stomach, as this increases her risk for SIDS.

Self-Soothing Difficulties

Babies, like adults, naturally wake up several times during the night. The difference is we’re conditioned to fall back asleep, most of the times not even remembering that we woke up. Babies, on the other hand, have not yet developed the ability to soothe themselves back to sleep. The AAP has an excellent explainer on the self-soothing phenomenon and offers some tips for parents. During the daytime, your baby is over-stimulated, as they are not yet acclimated to the chaos of the busy world around them. It may take them an hour or two of unstimulated time (swaddling, rocking or breastfeeding in a dark room) to settle down enough for sleep for the night. When a baby wakes during the night, you might automatically assume it’s because he or she is hungry, rather than just fussing before falling back to sleep. This can result in the unwanted habit of always having to feed your baby back to sleep. “When your baby is a few months old, try waiting a few minutes before responding to his cries during the night,” says Dr. Soloveychik. “Give them time to try to self-soothe before immediately picking your baby up or offering a bottle.” The AAP also suggests following a strict routine for time spent sleeping and awake during the day and night so your baby gets used to what is “normal.” Between four and eight months, the AAP says, parents should be weaning their babies off night feedings so they do not learn to expect one every time they wake in the night. Provided by Safesleep by Monbaby, a resource dedicated to informing parents on safe sleep practices for babies. Safesleep.MonBaby.com.

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Holiday Guide

>> Christmas Tree Info

Christmas tree va

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Through the centuries, people have trekked to forests, Christmas tree farms and commercial lots to pick the perfect trees for their holiday displays. The National Christmas Tree Association says more than 33 million real trees are purchased each year, making the tree business a billion-dollar industry. While there are scores of evergreen varieties, certain tree types are more popular than others and thus more available for purchase. The following are some of the more popular trees come Christmastime. · Eastern Redcedar: Branches of the tree are compact and form a pyramid-shaped crown. The trees should be a dark, shiny green color. The eastern redcedar is not a true cedar tree, but a member of the juniper family. This tree can make a great cut tree with a homespun look and a pungent fragrance.

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The ELA program will include: • Reading comprehension skills • Listening skills • Writing skills

An evergreen tree decked out in lights and ornaments is one of the universal symbols of the holiday season. The Christmas tree tradition is believed to have originated in Germany in the 15th or 16th centuries, when trees were decorated with edibles, such as nuts and fruits. They were later decorated with candles and eventually lights.

· Leyland Cypress: This cypress is one of the more popular Christmas trees in the southeastern United States. The tree will be very dark green to almost gray in color. It has little aroma. Some people choose the Leyland because it does not produce sap, which is great for those with sap allergies. · Colorado Blue Spruce: An attractive blue-green foliage and a good symmetrical form is what attracts many people to the blue spruce. The Colorado Blue Spruce has an excellent natural shape and requires little pruning to look like the perfect Christmas tree. It’s not very fragrant, but the tree needles may give off an unpleasant odor when crushed. · Scotch Pine: A classic conical shape and very good needle retention help make the Scotch pine a popular tree to cut for the holidays. Scotch pines also are quite prevalent thanks to the tree’s

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5 Spacious Classrooms · Eastern White Pine: A delicate green color and long needles are found on this tree. Another popular pine, the rich fragrance of the white pine may make it preferable to those who like their homes to smell of evergreen. · Douglas Fir: The Douglas fir is one of the foremost Christmas tree species in the United States. It has soft needles that are dark green in color. Those needles radiate in all directions from the branches to give the tree a full look. The needles, when crushed, have a sweet fragrance. Douglas firs tend to live long when cut. · Fraser Fir: Another popular fir for Christmas is the Fraser fir. The needles are bicolored, with dark green on top and silver on the bottom. More fragrant than its cousin, the Douglas, the Fraser also boasts a slender profile, which makes it suitable for smaller rooms.

Christmas tree maintenance

Nothing can guarantee the health and appearance of a tree after it is brought into a home. But choosing a recently cut tree that has good needle retention can help Here are other tips for a long-lasting tree.

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· Use a sharp saw to cut an inch off of the trunk base to remove the sappy covering that forms from cutting. This will improve water intake. · Fill a tree stand reservoir with warm water. Expect the tree to drink heavily in the beginning. · Keep the reservoir filled every day and check to see how much water the tree is using. · Place the tree far from heaters or other drying sources.

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Cover Story

Home for the Holidays?

“I’ll have Christmas at my house. You can do Thanksgiving.”

“But I did Thanksgiving last year and I undercooked the turkey and almost made everyone sick! I don’t want Thanksgiving. It’s too much for me. Why can’t our cousins ever host? They always come here with one cheap little bottle of wine, stuff their faces and then ask to take home leftovers!”

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This is the same conversation I have with my family every year when the holidays approach. Somehow what was once a treasured time to celebrate special days with loved ones has morphed into a violent game of Hostess Dodgeball, wherein participants desperately attempt to avoid being pelted by the dreaded holiday hosting obligations.

appetizers, the hostess is chained to a hot stove. Sweat covers her brow and oven mitts fly off and on her busy hands as she simultaneously chops, preps, fries, roasts, sautés, braises, and mashes -- all while silently praying the food won’t be freezing and tasteless by the time it makes to the table.

If my grandmother were still alive, I often wonder if she’d be the stereotypical grandma who would happily host every occasion from A-Z, force-feeding us endless mozzarella-covered entrees and homemade Italian pastries. She would have been the kind of grandma who hosted every holiday, no questions asked. In fact, she would be downright insulted by the suggestion of someone else hosting a holiday.

While everyone else is catching up, sipping wine and nibbling appetizers, the hostess is chained to a hot stove.

But my sweet grandmother passed away in 1987 and thus the hosting wars began. When I was a kid, the holidays were mostly a ping-pong match between my mother’s house and my aunt’s house. We have a fairly small family so the options were always limited. Now that I’m an adult and can cook a turkey all by myself (well, sort of), I’ve been thrown into the narrow pool of potential holiday hosts. And I have to say, it’s been a cranberry sauce- and gravy-soaked nightmare. It’s not that I don’t love seeing my family. We’re spread between Staten Island, Brooklyn and New Jersey, so it’s always a pleasure to get together and make up for time lost. But it’s never much of a picnic for the flustered hostess du jour. While everyone else is catching up, sipping wine and nibbling

Even if dinner is perfectly warm and delicious, there will still be a few unhappy campers. It’s almost impossible to please everybody. In my family, for example, some people don’t eat meat, some people only eat meat, and some are on a never-ending low-fat, low-carb, low-calorie diet. One person refuses to eat anything with garlic or onions, another person is lactose intolerant, and yet another can’t eat anything chewy. And that’s not even counting all the picky kids! Hosting is a costly endeavor as well. Even if you’re lucky enough to have relatives who contribute, pot-luck style, bringing home-cooked dishes of their own creation instead of cheap bottles of wine (I’m looking at you, cousin Jen), you’ll still be stuck with a hefty grocery tab. You really try to keep it simple, but it always adds up. After all the shopping and pre-cooking is complete, you’ve got to whip the house into shape. There’s always that one painfully rude relative who never fails to point out the dust on the fan blades or the loose Cheerio that rolled under the kitchen table. Who needs that? So before the oven goes on, the old mop and broom are the stars of the show. I sweep before the sun comes up whenever I’m hosting because I‘ve learned (the hard way) how counterproductive it can be to wash a floor while children are around. My back will break but my floors will shine! That rude relative will have nothing to say this year.

Thanksgiving_Cover Story.indd 2

Your own family doesn’t help the situation at all. The kids’ instructions are simple: get dressed, stay clean, and stay out the way. You enlist your husband’s help with the seemingly simple task of keeping them occupied all day. And maybe he does— until football starts, of course (I mean, at least set the table first hun!). Then they’re chasing each other around the kitchen, sticking their fingers in the food, messing up their pretty holiday outfits, and whining because Daddy shut off their cartoons to watch sports. You’re ten seconds from losing your mind and no one seems to even care. If you’re anything like me, you’re already burnt out long before the guests arrive. You’ve been scrubbing since dawn, cooking since Tuesday, and dreading it all since the day you agreed to host in the first place. But, like the perfect hostess you are, you grab an apron, dole out some welcome hugs, and power through the exhaustion. And somehow you do it all with a smile on your face, you rock star you! Too bad you don’t feel like one. They say there’s no place like home for the holidays. But I respectfully disagree. By Jeannine Cintron, a Staten Island mom of two, who is NOT hosting any holidays this year. www.highchairsandheadaches.com

We took to Facebook to find out how you feel about hosting the holidays. Here’s what you had to say: Jenny Vayner: We have a system. My house, everyone brings a dish, someone stays to clean up. With 45 people you don’t get overwhelmed and you never feel stuck. Everyone enjoys. Anna Zee: I love it and always happy to see people in my house but the time management... Why there is only 24 hours in a single day? Vanessa Cosentino: I do it for my kids though. Nothing like a holiday at home for them. I remember the feeling of waking up on a holiday morning to the smell of the holiday food cooking. Melinda Marie: I love it! I cook for like six hours straight and I wouldn’t change anything about it!

10/22/15 12:59 PM

Usual Stuff

>> Good Sports

Major League blunders by Joe LoVerde

Baseball used to be our country’s National Pastime. It was a game passed down through the generations — parents to children. Following Major League Baseball, either on the ballpark or TV or on the radio, was a family event. Especially during the postseason. Games were played during the day, or at least at times conducive to everyone watching together. I remember getting to watch the start of some of the 1969 World Series games in school, then listening on my transistor radio while running home, and watching the ending with my siblings and my mom on our one television set. Night games were always played at a reasonable hour, which meant dad could join us after he got home from work. It provided common ground for family conversations and helped me develop the love for the sport that I have to this day. But Major League Baseball doesn’t care about that any more. Just look at the schedule for this year’s postseason games. As a New Yorker, I’m appalled. As a parent and grandparent who loves sharing the game with his family, I’m angry and frustrated.

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The Mets-Dodgers National League Division Series opening game started in Los Angeles at 9:45 p.m. Eastern Time. The game ended a few seconds before 1 a.m. Game 2 began in New York at 9 p.m. and ended at 12:31 Saturday morning. What’s your 7-year-old’s bedtime? I’ll bet it’s an hour or two before the game even started. Then, when the series moved back to New York, the first game here was on Columbus Day. It’s a holiday. Kids are off from school. Surely Major League Baseball would recognize that and start the game early enough for children to attend the game or at least watch it on TV with their parents who might be home from work. Guess again. Game time for the first game at Citi Field was 8:37 p.m. Maybe some children could watch the beginning on TV, but there was school the next day. And going to the game was especially prohibitive, considering the time they would get home. Think this isn’t having an impact? Think again. Youth baseball participation is shrinking in this country. The National Sporting Goods Association conducted a recent poll, showing that youth baseball participation went from 8.8 million children in 2000 to 5.3 million in 2013.

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On Staten Island, although Little Leagues still exist (some barely), Babe Ruth Leagues are shrinking or disappearing. I spoke to a director with the Great Kills Babe Ruth League recently who told me the league might have two or three teams next year — total! And he was happy about it! There was a time in this borough when we had four flourishing Babe Ruth Leagues, plus the Gateway Baseball League and two Senior Little League teams filled with teenagers. The leagues had their own schedules and didn’t play each other until All Star time. Now they can’t survive without interleague regular season schedules and All Stars on this level is virtually nonexistent. And baseball’s missteps go further. Depending on when you’re reading this, Major League Baseball’s World Series might not be over. Unless one of the teams swept the first four games, Games 5, 6 and 7 were scheduled for Nov. 1, 3 and 4. Before 2001, when the 9/11 attacks quite understandably forced baseball to push back its postseason, there had only been three times the World Series winner wasn’t determined in October: 1904, when there was no Series; 1918, when the Series was held in September due to World War I; and 1994 due to the work stoppage. Now, MLB is seeing fit to schedule games for November at night when — depending on where it is — there could be snow. MLB’s slogan for each team, which was printed on T-shirts and sweatshirts for fans to purchase, was “Take October.” Bad timing for that slogan, if you ask me.

Joe LoVerde has been coaching youth sports on Staten Island for nearly 40 years. He’s also a longtime newspaper editor and sportswriter.

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Usual Stuff

>> OMG I’m a Mom

Welcome to Our Newest Islanders!

Push Presents Whether you’re head over heels for the idea of a push present or you vehemently despise anyone who has ever received one, they’re becoming more popular on the new mom scene with each passing year. Despite their increasing popularity, everyone seems to fall squarely into either the “love it” or “hate it” category. For those of you curiously scratching your head (or maybe your itchy baby bump), a push present is a gift given to an expectant mother from the father-to-be for, quite literally, “pushing” a child out of her body (and perhaps they need to come up with a new name for it, if for no other reason than to account for the high rate of cesaran births). In general, a push present is merely a token of appreciation for the hardships brought on by pregnancy and childbirth. That “token” can include anything from a simple, relaxing day at the spa to a sparkly diamond ring or a brand new SUV. While some might feel expensive gifts are unnecessary, most will agree that it’s always nice to feel appreciated in some way. We took to Facebook to see what our readers think of push presents, and here’s what you had to say: Erica Walsh My kids were my present! (although I didn’t push - c-section). Kinda silly. Save the money for diapers. I already know my husband appreciates me. Polina Viix With the first I got an LV tote, with the second jewelry. I think it’s a great way for the husband to treat his wife as shopping for myself was not a priority at first and it feels nice to get treated with a pricey gift as a token of appreciation after carrying a watermelon around for 10 months! Deanna Celsina I got one for each of my kids. I got a pendant with their initials on it. Alia Schweizer Personally I think it’s a fabulous idea! The guy has no clue what the woman really experiences throughout the pregnancy. It’s a small token of gratitude that every woman should have from their man. But keep in mind it does not have to be jewelry. A love note could be the deepest form of showing their appreciation for carrying a man’s child.

Marina Isabella Dale October 12, 2015 6 pounds, 10 Ounces Parents: Karen & Brian

Logan Michael DeMarco October 9, 2015 7 pounds, 14 ounces Parents: Ryan & Michele

Madison Michelle Volkin August 23, 2015 7 pounds, 6 ounces Parents: Amanda & Eugene

Giancarlo Caruso August 16, 2015 7 pounds, 15 ounces Parents: Steve & Alanna

Submit Your Baby’s Birth Announcement @ www.siparent.com

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product review Lost My Name children’s book

The Lost My Name children’s book is clearly no “push present,” but this gift is sure to be treasured by both baby and mom-to-be all the same. These charmingly personalized books feature a unique story strung together by the individual letters in a child’s name. Each enchanting, one-of-a-kind book features a dazzling cast of characters in a special story that your little one will enjoy for years to come. www.lostmy.name. SRP $29.99.

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November 2015

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Usual Stuff

>> Dear Teacher

Big Bird’s Playhouse

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Signs of Hearing Loss in School Children by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts

Parents: So much learning that your children do in school comes from listening to teachers and classmates. It is important to identify the signs that may indicate a possible hearing loss in your child as quickly as possible so that the next steps can be taken: testing followed by appropriate treatment and management. According to the Hearing Health Foundation, it is more difficult to identify hearing loss in children who have developed speech skills, as they may have unconsciously developed coping techniques to compensate for their loss. Watch for these signs in older children: 1. Your child seems to hear fine some of the time and then not respond at other times. 2. Your child wants the TV volume louder than other members of the family. 3. Your child asks “what?” or says “huh?” more often than he used to. 4. Your child moves one ear forward when listening, or he complains that he can only hear out of his “good ear.” 5. Your child’s grades fall, or his teacher notes that the child doesn’t seem to hear or respond in the classroom. 6. Your child says that he didn’t hear you. Many parents assume their children are not paying attention when in fact there may be an unidentified hearing loss. 7. It seems as though your child is just not paying attention. 8. Your child starts to speak more loudly than previously. 9. Your child looks at you intently when you speak to him. He may be depending on visual cues. 10. You just have a feeling. Sometimes you just can’t put your finger on what your concern is. There are many possible causes of acquired hearing loss that appear months or years after birth. Most hearing loss in children without obvious risk factors (such as premature birth) has a genetic cause. If you have concerns, contact your pediatrician for a referral to an audiologist, a professional who is specially trained to identify hearing loss in children of all ages, for a complete hearing evaluation. Simple Games to Enhance Math Skills Question: Do you know any simple games that reinforce math skills that are not played on the computer? I would like to wean my children away from being online so much of the time. -- For Old-Fashioned Fun

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Answer: One way to lure children away from thinking that they can only have fun by being online is to play games with them. There are many board games that they should enjoy playing with you. Younger children can enjoy games that stress counting. Candyland and Chutes and Ladders are just two easy first games for children to play. In fact, any game that uses a spinner will have the youngest children practicing their counting skills.

November 2015

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As children get older, they can play more sophisticated games. Dominoes is a great choice for children who need to improve their adding skills. In addition, there are many dice games and experiments that children can enjoy. Here are two: The Block Game: Get out a lot of building blocks. They can be different sizes. Have your children take turns throwing a pair of dice and adding up the numbers that come up. The child then stacks that number of blocks. The winner is the player who stacks the highest block tower in 10 or 20 rounds of play. And, of course, a player loses if his or her tower falls down before the end of a round of play. Dicey Experiment: This game will introduce your children to probability. You’ll need a pair of dice. Have your child roll the dice 36 times and find the difference between the number of dots on the top faces of the dice each time. Record the results on a graph that shows the differences and the number of times that difference was rolled. Repeat the experiment three more times. Then ask the child the question: What difference is most likely to show up when you roll a pair of dice? Do Teacher Bonuses Improve Student Outcomes? Question: What do you think about paying teachers bonuses when their students make academic progress? – Bad Idea Answer: It’s no big secret that students in this country aren’t achieving as well as those in many other countries. In searching for ways to improve student outcomes, many school districts have tried teacher bonuses. It does sound like this policy could be a winner. Unfortunately, according to several recent studies the students of teachers who were offered incentive bonuses scored only slightly better on some standardized tests. And these differences were extremely small and not statistically significant according to senior statistician Dan McCaffrey of the Rand Corporation. The corporation’s research showed that in the short term teacher bonuses alone do not improve student performance. More studies will need to be done to see if other measures might improve student outcomes. For example, beside monetary measures future research might include such things as teacher practices via observation and professional development. Parents should send questions to dearteacher@dearteacher. com or ask them on the columnists’ website at www.dearteacher.com.

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parenting

>> Kids

Helping Shy Children Build Social Confidence The library hosts free weekly play groups for different age groups where kids can build interpersonal skills through social interaction. Go to siparent.com and check out our Family Calendar to see your local library’s schedule of events.

hildhood shyness is a common concern among parents who fear their youngsters may be lacking or missing out on social situations. The truth is most reserved children do well in relationships once they hurdle unfamiliarity. To help your shy child build social self confidence, start with small group settings, broaden the base and provide plenty of preparation and practice This is what Karen Tronto did with her son. “As a toddler, Tristan was a quiet child who wouldn’t interact with anyone except his immediate family,” says the mother of her now 5-year-old. “By the time he was 3, I realized he wasn’t going to be a social butterfly, so I enrolled him in a small preschool to get him adjusted to an academic setting and ease him away from me.” Her plan worked and Tristan began shedding his shell. The following year Tronto transitioned him to a larger preschool program, one that had multiple classrooms of students who would go on to elementary school together. Today Tristan talks incessantly about stepping onto the bus and going to school. “Parents who want to help their shy children gain confidence in so-

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cial situations should start with small group interactions until they feel comfortable transitioning to larger ones,” says Tara Sutton, clinical faculty/instructor at the University of Delaware Laboratory Preschool in Newark, Delaware. “As group size grows, adult/child ratio should be a consideration. This will encourage positive peer interactions and ward off negative behaviors such as bullying, exclusion and name calling.” Another way to build social confidence is to create slow, minimum-risk situations. At-home play dates are a good place to begin. “Bringing other kids into your home can empower your child to take more social risks and open up to his peers,” says Cheryl Carey, 24-year elementary school educator and guidance counselor. “Have one friend over. Then invite two. Work up to a slumber party. But before you do, encourage your child to spend time at his friends’ houses too.” Play dates were a godsend for the MacNeal family. Although their daughter Faith, then age 5, had participated in several academic and extracurricular pursuits, it was their regularly scheduled play dates that helped this only child overcome social awkwardness. “Once or twice a week we did play dates with her cousins; sometimes other friends joined in too,” says her mother Pam. “During that time, Faith became really close to her cousin Andy. They also went to Sunday school together which was ideal—their class was large but he was there. At first Faith primarily interacted with Andy, but eventually she felt comfortable enough to begin connecting with other children.” Today those children are among her best friends. Preparing timid children for social events is an added way to build

November 2015

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November 2015

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parenting

>> Kids

Suzanne’s Fashion Corner Ltd. & Baby

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confidence and alleviate anticipation and fear of the unknown. “Start by talking about what you’re planning to do before you go so your child is well informed about the situation,” says Sutton. “Do it in story form: ‘Tomorrow Zach is going to…’ and tell the whole story inserting your child’s name. Then get his input. What might he see? What might he do? This will make him feel more in control.” Advance preparation is even more important before random social gathering, such as birthday parties and family reunions. “A lot of Tristan’s friends had parties at the railroad station, but we didn’t make it on a single train ride,” says Tronto. “He would get so worked up because of the loud noises, unfamiliar setting and number of people that he’d go into a panic and say, ‘I don’t want to go.’ I tried to reason with him, but he was so upset that we’d just leave.” Sometimes panicky predicaments can be turned into pivotal impromptus, as MacNeal explains. “One day at preschool Faith was doing a project and she leaned forward to get something,” recalls the girl’s mother. “When she went to sit back down she missed her chair and fell on the floor, and all the kids laughed at her. She was devastated. She came home crying and told me she was never going to school again. I waited until she had calmed down then we role played the situation. I pretended to fall out of my chair and she laughed at me. Then I said, ‘See? They weren’t laughing at you but at the situation.’ This helped her reframe what had happened.” “There are different ways to role play with children,” says Carey. “You can act things out or use their dolls or actions figures. Talk about how they are feeling and pretend to interact with other kids. This is great practice and prepares them to handle future situations.” Most importantly, listen to your child and validate his feelings. Ask open-ended questions and encourage dialogue. Don’t assume you know how he feels. He may be upset about a situation because it’s loud or there are too many people or he’s scared. But you’ll never know unless you listen. Above all, celebrate your child for who he is and remind him that with time, preparation and practice he can successfully navigate any social situation. Denise Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three children.

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November 2015

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10/22/15 1:00 PM

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parenting

>> Kids

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Quick tips to help a shy child:

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• Think about adult/child ratio when choosing a program. Are there enough adults interacting with the children to promote positive peer interaction and ward off negative behaviors? • Bring your child to a new academic or extracurricular program before classes begin so he can meet the teacher and get familiar with the setting and routine. • Let the teacher know your child is shy and stay in contact throughout the year to address problems that may arise.

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• Prepare your child for social events to alleviate anticipation and fear of the unknown. • Role-play social situations. Try different scenarios, such as meeting a new peer at school. Switch roles so your child sees the situation from both angles. Talk about his feelings. Repeat role-playing situations to build confidence. • Take time to listen to your child and understand his feelings and fears. Validate his concerns. If he’s in a panic, wait until he calms down to encourage dialogue. • Affirm your child’s character and personality. Remember he will probably always be timid by nature, but with practice and preparation he can successfully navigate social situations.

Parent resources:

• Nurturing the Shy Child: Practical Help for Raising Confident and Socially Skilled Kids and Teens by Barbara and Gregory Markway • The Shy Child: Helping Children Triumph over Shyness by Ward K. Swallow • The Shyness Breakthrough by Bernardo Carducci

Juvenile resources:

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November 2015

• The Blushful Hippopotamus by Chris Raschka • Let’s Talk About Being Shy by Marianne Johnston • Little Miss Shy by Roger Hargreaves • Orlando’s Little-While Friends by Audrey Wood • Shy Charles by Rosemary Wells • Tiny Tiger by Barbara Derubertis

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Holiday Guide

>> Yummy

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Put new twists on classic Call now for a personal tour hot chocolate Few things are more comforting than sitting under a warm afghan and sipping a mug of steaming hot chocolate when cold wind and snow are blowing outside. Hot chocolate seems tailor-made for chilly winter evenings, providing the perfect indulgence while watching a favorite holiday film, entertaining friends around the holidays or warming up after a day spent building snowmen. While traditional hot chocolate is a favorite for many, there are ways to make this beloved beverage more unique. By experimenting with flavor combinations, hot chocolate can become new again each day. The following are some flavorful ingredients you may want to try to spice up your next cup of hot chocolate. · Caramel: Pair a rich, dark or semi-sweet hot chocolate with a swirl of caramel. The caramel will add sweetness and extra creaminess to the blend. · Peppermint: Peppermint and hot chocolate can make for an interesting contrast. The cooling nature of peppermint works nicely with the heat of hot chocolate, imparting a wonderful aroma as well. Melt a candy cane or mint from a restaurant in the mug and enjoy. · Nutmeg: What nutmeg does for eggnog it also can do for hot chocolate. Nutmeg offers that earthy bite that calls to mind long days baking in the kitchen.

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We accept most insurances.

· Chile powder: Chile can add a little kick to hot chocolate that works surprisingly well. Add just enough to offer a little tingle of residual heat at the back of your throat. This concoction also may help clear up a case of congestion or the sniffles. · Coffee: Add a splash of coffee to the hot chocolate for an instant boost of caffeine and some mocha flavoring. · Whipped cream: Create the flavor combination of a chocolate cream pie with a generous dollop of whipped cream. For a truly rich flavor, make a batch of fresh whipped cream, which will also thicken the hot chocolate. · Coconut milk: Invoke the tropics by substituting coconut milk for regular milk. You may feel like you’re on your own private island. · Peanut butter: Few people can resist the combination of chocolate and peanut butter. Melt a spoonful of peanut butter into the beverage and enjoy. · Liqueur: Enhance hot chocolate with your favorite liqueurs. Orange and raspberry flavorings work well, or try a creamy spirited beverage, like Kahlua or Irish cream. · Marshmallows: Of course one of the simplest ways to dress up hot chocolate is to fill the mug to the brim with sweet marshmallows. Put a different spin on hot chocolate with various add-ins. The combinations and possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

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>> Spoiled

Kids and Gifts: How Many is Too Much? MOre holiday guide info on page 68.

Find Christmas tree farms, holiday fairs, holiday gift giveway, train show ticket giveway & crafts perfect for getting into the holiday spirit. Despite the many messages from all corners promoting a “more is better” philosophy when it comes to holiday gifts, the truth is far more complex -- especially for children. While most parents work hard to give their kids everything they need and much of what they want, it is often hard to draw the line, prompting many well intentioned moms and dads to ask, “How much is too much?” In general, the answer lies within each family. Parents should purchase what makes sense to them and what they believe their children will use and appreciate. However, in recent years, child psychologists and experts in child development have returned to these questions as economic conditions have forced many families to scale back, both throughout the year and during the holiday season. Books such as “The Pampered Child Syndrome” by Maggie Mamen and “Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me” by Donna Corwin and several others on the same topic offer similar conclusions: When children are given too much over the course of their childhoods, they can develop a serious case of entitlement, become unappreciative of what they have and begin to equate love with “stuff.” And for younger children, receiving a huge pile of gifts in one sitting can be both overwhelming and overstimulating.

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If you have been wondering about these issues, here are some general guidelines for having a fun-filled holiday with just enough stuff. Make a gift plan. Before setting out on your first shopping expedition, devise a plan that makes sense for your family. If you have younger children, decide on the number of gifts for each. With older children, you might want to establish a dollar amount rather than a gift amount. Once you’ve made the plan, stick to it -- no matter what. Draw names. Particularly in bigger families, gift-giving can become a financial and emotional burden if everyone buys for everyone. Drawing names not only reduces those burdens, but often results in more meaningful gifts all around. Opt for a shared experience. Consider pooling the money you would have spent on individual gifts and putting it toward a special outing, vacation, or shared item for your home. Long after the toys have broken and the electronics have stopped working, your children will cherish their memories of a holiday that focused on sharing time together. Communicate. If Grandpa Mike or Aunt Emily has a reputation for heaping on the presents at Christmas or Chanukah, let them know ahead of time that one will do, then offer a suggestion that is sure to please your son or daughter. If they insist that they want to do more, consider asking them to make a donation in your child’s name to a charitable organization or to purchase a gift for a local child in need. Collaborate. Sometimes one big gift makes a lot more sense. If your child would love a new bike or a trampoline or horseback riding lessons, consider asking extended family members to contribute to that item or to items that go with it, such as a helmet or other gear.

November 2015

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Pre-School 3 Year Old Thru Grade 8 FOR OVER 50 YEARS WE HAVE BEEN: “Large enough to serve your child… Small enough to know your child”

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Extended Day Available Reasonable Rates

300 Genesee Avenue Staten Island, New York 10312 www.eltingvillelutheranschool.org

Eltingville Lutheran School admits students of any race, religion, national or ethnic origin.

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>> Fun Stuff

Visit our Holiday Happenings Guide at siparent.com to check opening dates for each farm.

Christmas Tree Farms Ann Allen Tree Farm & Shop 114 Daum Road Manalapan, NJ 07726 732-786-9277

Habiak Farms 315 Deans Rhode Hall Rd. South Brunswick Township, NJ 08810 732-287-2737

Lazy Susan Tree Farm 184 Sharon Road Robbinsville, NJ 08691 609-208-0784

Patterson Greenhouses 636 Adelphia Road Freehold, NJ 07728 732-431-5271

Barclay’s Christmas Tree Farm 35 Orchardside Drive Cranbury, NJ 08512 609-799-1855

Kauffman’s Farms 93 Squankum Yellowbrook Rd. Farmingdale, NJ 07727 732-620-3186

Little Acres Farm Market 216 Pennington Lawrenceville Rd Pennington, NJ 08534 609-737-6502

Simonson Farms 118-260 Dey Road Cranbury, NJ 08560 609-730-1110

Bullock Farms 83 Emleys Hill Road Cream Ridge, NJ 08514 609-758-8726

Keris Tree Farm 848 Route 524 • Allentown, NJ 08501 609-259-0720

McLaughlin Tree Farm 1312 Old York Road Robbinsville, NJ 08691 609-259-8122

Westhaven Farm Inc. 725 Route 524 Allentown, NJ 08501 609-259-2186

Giamarese Farm 155 Fresh Ponds Rd East Brunswick, NJ 08816 732-821-9494

Lantier Tree Farm 163 Dey Grove Road Englishtown, NJ 08831 732-446-9799

Meadow View Farms 60 Birdsall Road Farmingdale, NJ 07727 732-938-7181

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Holiday Fairs Saturday, November 7 New Dorp Moravian Church

2205 Richmond Road • 718-351-0090 10am-4pm

Holy Rosary 100 Jerome Avenue • 718-447-1195 9am-3pm

Sunday, November 8 Holy Rosary

100 Jerome Avenue • 718-447-1195 9am-2pm

Friday, November 13

The Church of Saint Andrew 40 Old Mill Rd. • 718-351-0900 11am-7pm

Blessed Sacrament 830 Delafield Avenue • 718-442-3090 9am-3pm

Saturday, November 14 Holy Child Preschool

4747 Amboy Road • 718-356-5159 9:30am-6pm

The Church of Saint Andrew 40 Old Mill Rd. • 718-351-0900 11am-6:30pm

Blessed Sacrament 830 Delafield Avenue • 718-442-3090 12-5pm

Our Lady Star of the Sea 5411 Amboy Road • 718-984-5750 3-7pm

Staten Island Tech High School 485 Clawson Street • 718-667-3222 9am-3pm

Sunday, November 15 Blessed Sacrament

830 Delafield Avenue • 718-442-3090 9am-5pm

St. Ann’s 125 Cromwell Avenue • 718-351-4343 9am-4pm

Our Lady Star of the Sea 5411 Amboy Road • 718-984-5750 9am-5pm

Thursday, November 19 St. Charles Christmas Fair

Our Lady Queen of Peace

St. Ann’s 125 Cromwell Avenue • 718-351-4343 6pm

Olivet Presbyterian Church

St. Charles 200 Penn Avenue • 718-987-0200 6-10pm

Saturday, November 21 St. Joseph – St. Thomas

50 Maguire Avenue • 718-356-0452 9am-9pm

SI Council for Animal Welfare 693 Jewett Ave • 718-948-5623 10am-4pm 121 Cleveland Avenue • 718-984-6595 9am-3pm

Friday, November 20

Great Kills Moravian Church

St. Adalbert 355 Morningstar Road • 718-442-2020 8am-8pm

Christ Lutheran Church 121 Cleveland Ave • 718-984-6595 9am-3pm

Sunday, November 22 St. Joseph – St. Thomas

50 Maguire Avenue• 718-356-0452 10am-5pm 30 Wellbrook Avenue • 718-761-2504 9am-3pm

Saturday, November 28 Alice Austen House

St. Rita School

200 Penn Avenue • 718-987-0200 6-10pm

50 Maguire Avenue • 718-356-0452 3pm-9pm

97 Myrtle Avenue • 917-545-1228 9am-4pm

St. Rita School

Christ Lutheran Church

30 Wellbrook Avenue • 718-761-2504 12-6pm

St. Joseph – St. Thomas

63 Cloister Place • 718-351-0370 10am-6pm

62 Hillside Terrace • 718-317-7788 10am-4pm

School of St. Peter & St. Thomas 129 Clinton Avenue • 718-447-6362 10am-4pm

2 Hylan Boulevard • 718-816-4506 11am-5pm

Sunday, November 29 Alice Austen House

2 Hylan Boulevard • 718-816-4506 11am-5pm Are you hosting a Holiday Fair? Email jcintron@siparent.com and we will add it to our Holiday Fairs list at siparent.com!

More Holiday Fairs Listed Online. Visit www.siparent.com for more information on these fairs.

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>> Win!

Holiday Giveaway

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Ask Amy Doll Interactive doll

Amy is able to respond to a dozen verbal prompts and questions with varied answers, songs and stories. With natural-looking moving lips, blinking eyes and the ability to respond to language, Ask Amy is truly unique. SRP: $120 www.askamydoll.com

Animal Planet Interactive T-Rex & Dinopedia Book The Interactive T-Rex features swinging head and tail action, motion active lights and sound, plus five touch points that trigger a variety of dino sounds. The Dinopedia book from Discovery’s unique “Opedia” series includes over 400 eye-popping color photos and hundreds of cool dinosaur facts. T-Rex SRP: $29.99 Dinopedia SRP: $19.95 Total SRP: $49.94 www.animalplanet.com & www.discovery.com

My Little Pony Canterlot Castle Create mystical, royal adventures in this incredible three-story castle. Venture up the grand staircase leading to a beautiful throne that can slide up and down between floors and instantly become a princess by wearing the detachable tiara atop of the castle. Playset includes a special edition Princess Celestia pony figure,

Spike the Dragon figure, tiara and themed accessories. Ages 3+ SRP: $79.99 www.hasbrotoyshop.com

Play All Day Elmo Kids will be wowed by the most exciting and playful Elmo to date! This favorite pal features 150+ responses and eight games and activities that will keep little ones laughing. Little ones can also tickle Elmo’s belly, hold his hand, give him a kiss, or clap his hands to play games together and hear more fun responses! Ages 18 months to 4 years. SRP: $59.99 www.hasbrotoyshop.com

T-Fal 7-In-1 Multi-Cooker & Fryer This multi-functioning product features seven versatile cooking functions, allowing the user to fry, braise, sauté, simmer, brown, boil / pasta, and keep food warm. Product features such as the 1600W of power, 1.6 liter oil capacity, and 1.3 lbs. of food capacity ensure that you can cook any meal using just this one key kitchen appliance. The removable, dishwasher safe bowl with non- stick coating makes clean up. easy SRP: $99.99 t-falusa.com

Win 5 tickets for the

North Pole Express Experience Sun, Dec 6

The North Pole Express is a fun-filled journey for the entire family! The train departs the station at Flemington, NJ for a 25 minute ride to the “North Pole” (at Ringoes). Onboard the train Santa’s Elves will greet all the children. Enjoy refreshments, Santa & Mrs. Claus, face-painting, and a photo op with Santa’s sleigh.

A $137 Value Go to siparent.com/ contests to enter!

We’re giving away loads of holiday prizes! Go to siparent.com/contests for more cool giveaway items & to enter today.

Over $1,000 in Prizes!

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holiday guide

>> Crafts

Thanksgiving Art Craft: Gratitude Turkey When you think of Thanksgiving, two major things to mind: gratitude and turkey. This adorable activity incorporates both themes into one easy craft that’s guaranteed to become an annual tradition in your house. Start by making a turkey body out of brown construction paper and hanging it on the wall in a shared family space. Then cut out several colored “feathers” and place them nearby. Throughout the month, whenever anyone thinks of something they’re thankful for, they should write it down on one of the feathers and stick it to the turkey on the wall using an convenient adhesive. Your family will enjoy watching the turkey grow larger in the days leading up Thanksgiving as new blessings come to mind throughout the season. Credit: www.littlefamilyfun.com.