Incarceratedly Yours, issue ii: Don't You Forget About Me

INC ARCERATEDLY YOURS, issue ii don’t about

you

forget

me.

pr ison r enaissance zine 2019

DEAR READER, We are humbled and honored to present to you the second issue of Incarceratedly Yours, titled “Don’t You Forget About Me.” Through phone calls and letters, a small group of pairs of artists at San Quentin State Prison, Norco State Prison, and Stanford University collaboratively built what you are now holding in your hands.

At the beginning of each phone call through the prison’s phone system, the incarcerated artist is given a few seconds to say their name, which is then repeated when the person on the outside picks up the phone. In our phone calls, Mesro would often say something funny during those few seconds to make us laugh. Oftentimes, in his cheery voice, he would sing “Don’t you forget about me” from The Breakfast Club.

Thus began the conversation around the incarcerated artists’ reflections on memory. For the incarcerated, there exist fears of their voices being sequestered to historical memory, and even of forgetting their own loved ones in the free world. For the free, our communities are lacking when we lose the richness of incarcerated narratives and experiences. Collaborations forged through this project are memory-restorative and memoryconstructive, as artists share memories with one another and even form new collective memories.

This year, we asked ourselves how we can expand this notion of “radical collaboration” beyond just the artistic work. Whereas last year the two of us quietly managed the organizing of artists, graphic design, fundraising, and publicity efforts, this year, we brought on a team of 22 Stanford students to join us at every step. When institutional sources of funding did not align with our values, we leaned on our communities to crowd-source funding through GoFundMe and make this zine possible. We presented our work alongside Mesro in college courses and started discussions with students, some of whom are now on our project.

We hope this issue inspires you to think about the ways we can make remembering a conscious and even rebellious pursuit.

Despite the systemic, logistical, and mental barriers that pull us apart, we choose to remember. This zine is our way of saying: these voices will be remembered.

YOURS , 02

Netta Wang Michelle Chang Prison Renaissance Zine Founders & Editors in Chief

TABLE OF CONTENT S call process

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artist bios

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joe + nan | perception is memory

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mesro + julianna | amnesia is vanishing

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holly + suah | friendship is magic

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marc + james | residue of future dreams

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joe + janet | what am i forgetting?

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bruce + vince | not far out!

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john + tori | spoiled soil

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vince | pabulum

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joe’s postcard

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acknowledgments

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CALL PROCESS Each week, artists only have one chance to speak to each other—at a one hour designated time when the inside artist will call our shared phone line. Since there are many logistical barriers on the inside, and no Internet or text messages to reschedule, many times these calls do not go through.

For example, some of these barriers include the following that have come up this year: there are no clocks in San Quentin, and some artists tell the time by looking at the televisions and having memorized what programs are on at what time. Lockdowns occur without warning for reasons such as a guard’s cell phone going missing. Quarantines, which confine incarcerated people to their cells, are implemented for weeks when there are flu outbreaks. The phone call area is far away from some artists, who have to walk over a mile to make their calls. Phone lines may unexpectedly break down.

However, when they do go through, these conversations become some of the most precious parts of the artistic collaboration. These are a few of the quotes Stanford artists have written down, spoken by San Quentin artists.

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“I feel like we speak the same language.”

“I go by Mesro the Human Sun and my art is

everything to me.”

of the hill. p to e th t the hill, ll starts a “A snowba ll, as it rolls down wba A tiny sno rows and grows.” it g

et, that outl art e v a h t their able to ey presen th n "...being e h w and felt n ple e o e e s p g in in e tt p ge is ge ndition." instills ho eir messa ut their co th o b w a o n e k r y a who c and the by people ries re are sto .” e th s e m ti ws “...some on the ne t u p t e g that don’t

“Art does not rehabilitate. Not in itself.

Everyone has the capacity of self-expression within them.” y s memor “God gave u see roses ld so we cou ter.” th in e win

“That would br to be able to ing us closer together as people, share our art, to share how w e fe el abou to explore our si t it, milarities more than d what sets us n apart.” all arou ng light

embli leaks tr igher la u b e n ed round yet h “a crack e softly, I rise hadows glide a s m cradles s glow orange, scopic; o d li id e my ey chamber kale alone.” t o n d m Ia a facete

“Don’t bury your talents!”

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joseph kr auter

to push the boundaries of what I see and to explore what I perceive.

Joe is a 36-year-old writer and visual artist. He writes horror; and his visual mediums are watercolors, colored pencils, and lead pencils. Mr. Krauter has ASD Spectrum Disorder, specifically Asperger’s Syndrome.

He is fascinated by color pencil art and water color painting. His passion in visual and written work is in detail, and he’s never found the Devil in them.

mesr o coles-el

(San Quentin artist)

Artist’s Statement: I have no technical knowledge, but I want to learn.

nan munger

(Stanford artist)

Nan is a 21-year old visual art major. She especially loves oil painting and watercolor, or any medium that has a life of its own in which you can perceive process and time.

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Artist’s Statement: I paint

(San Quentin organizer, artist)

Mesro is a poet, emcee, and grafitti artist incarcerated in California.

As the glue holding this project together, he has been the main organizer coordinating among the artists in San Quentin. He loves playing Dungeons and Dragons, and he is on a crusade to end the school-to-prison pipeline through mentoring kids.

Artist’s Statement: We remember when art was outlawed.

julianna yonis (Stanford artist)

Julianna is a writer, theatremaker, and filmmaker interested in art that disrupts systems of oppression. At Stanford, her academics center on theatre, media studies,

computer science, and Italian.

Artist’s Statement: We remember when art was outlawed.

holl y s tuckey (San Quentin artist)

Holly is a transwoman artist who loves My Little Pony, comics, and music.

She has designed posters for visiting musicians in San Quentin, and is interested in making her art become the voice for incarcerated transgender minority groups.

Artist’s Statement: Connectivity is a determining factor in making good or bad decisions, and we can help each other by reaching out.

suah cho

(Stanford graphic designer, artist)

Suah is interested in everything about people. She plans on majoring in Psychology and Art Practice to gain perspective on what makes people tick and give back to people by using art as a means of positive intervention.

Artist’s Statement: The world is a mosaic in which everyone is a pixel with a unique color: we need everyone in the scene to see the world in chroma and full resolution.

br uce f ow ler

(San Quentin artist)

Bruce never knew art before he came to prison.

If he had, he believes he would have made better decisions. Because of art, he feels that he is free, even behind these cold walls and locked doors. Art is his key.

Artist’s Statement: Art is my life preserver in a melancholy sea.

vince pane

(Stanford artist)

Vince enjoys making things and understanding their connections to the materials they are made of; he hopes the materials he uses can build up the purpose of his works and

add to their fluidity. He has made over 50 small sculptures and is now working to scale up his work, understand the history of each material he uses, and replace his wardrobe with only homemade clothing.

Artist’s Statement: Always know where your scissors are.

james king

(San Quentin writer)

James is a writer. Some of his influences are James Baldwin, Angela Davis, his hometown of Ferguson, Mo, and that all oppression must be eradicated. He writes to introduce marginalized perspectives, and he writes to feel whole.

Artist’s Statement: I want to write for those who feel trapped by their circumstances, so they know that change is possible.

mar c osbor n

(Stanford writer)

Marc is a young writer out of Alameda, California.

He writes most commonly about multiracial identity, curious about the ways that mixed-race perspectives might be uniquely positioned to

build bridges between American communities, especially those that have been historically marginalized.

Artist’s Statement: Art is solidarity.

tor i qiu

(Stanford artist and graphic designer)

Tori is a freshman who enjoys painting, comic art, history, and philosophy.

She is interested in challenging prejudice and encouraging social consciousness through art.

Artist’s Statement: The Why Cheap Art? Manifesto (Bread & Puppet Glover 1984)

john hines

(Norco artist)

John is a writer whose work primarily focuses on issues of equality in America. Outside of his writing, he enjoys taking classes, playing football, and cheering on his favorite sports teams.

Artist’s Statement: The journey of a million miles starts with one step.

janet mar tinez (Stanford artist)

TEAM & ARTIST BIOS

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Janet is a 20-year old artist from Santa Ana, Ca. She’s experienced in watercolor, but loves to explore different mediums.

Artist’s Statement: Creating with intentionality to make impactful art

brigitte pawliw fr y(Stanford Community Outreach organizer)

Brigitte is a 22-yearold student, writer, and researcher from Toronto, Canada and a proud older sister. As one member of the Community Outreach Team, she is so honoured to support the artists’ collaborative works.

jessica chow

(Stanford Community Outreach organizer)

Jessica is an English major focusing on Technology, Media, and Literature, with a minor in Mechanical Engineering Design at Stanford. She is a selftaught visual artist, and sees art as the creation of

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important socio-historical artifacts, that everyone can and should participate in.

sosie yor ki

(Stanford Community Outreach organizer)

Sosie is a Chemistry major from Houston, TX and arranges collaborations between the zine and other organizations to increase our visibility and expand our impact. Through the zine, she hopes to combat the stigma against incarcerated people to ease reintegration into the free world.

zines as a way of healing and expression for marginalized communities.

She enjoys filmmaking, poetry, bread-making, and dancing through city streets.

nancy lopezalvarez

(Stanford organizer)

Nancy is a Psychology student interested in the social, cultural, and biological aspects of the field. In her free time, she is probably making music or drinking tea.

whitney thomas lucy r icker ich (Stanford graphic designer) (Stanford organizer)

Whitney is a freshman looking to studying urban studies or anthropology at Stanford. She is a part of the graphic design team, and is looking forward to being a part of the project.

lor a supandi

(Stanford graphic designer)

Lora is a sophomore majoring in international relations and art practice.

She views the world of

Lucy is interested in studying philosophy and biology. As a dancer, she is moved by how art can be used for social change and as an expression of self that would otherwise be indescribable or silenced; she was inspired to join the Prison Renaissance Project wherever her work could be of help and has been writing letters to incarcerated artists.

perception is memory

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poem by joe krauter

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Ellie the elephant was my most treasured stuffed animal growing up. I didn’t play pretend with Ellie like I did with my other stuffed animals: she stayed on my bed and I depended on her to help me fall asleep. I was very anxious about going to bed as a kid. I was afraid of the dark, and of nightmares that crept in when I was almost asleep. The most consistent nightmare I had was not a narrative, but a vision: a sandy-colored texture was slowly becoming wavy, uncontrolled, and darkening, and I found it deeply disturbing. When I jerked awake from this vision, I would clutch Ellie and her softness would eclipse the texture of my dreams. Joe did a wonderful job representing Ellie’s texture, so I tried to let that show through when I added paint on top. I painted my nightmare in the background, so that Ellie stands between the viewer and the vision.

-Nan

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based on joe’s robots

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These robots are one of the most powerful memories I have of myself as a child. That’s very important to me because I do not remember the vast majority of my childhood at all. It is a dark blank. I was very isolated as a little kid due to having autism spectrum disorder and not knowing it, and these robots helped me keep engaged with the outside world in a lot of ways, rather than just retreating inside my own head like so many young kids do when they have autism. The textures of the plastic and the way the robots were shaped would hold my focus in the real world, and imagining adventures that I could go on with them allowed me to navigate the world. And all the robots had a task—-the science robot, the excavator/explorer robot, and the soldier/protector robot—and I felt like I could pull from their aspects in order to do whatever had to be done. If I had to go to a store, I’d be the explorer robot. If I had to learn something new, I could be the science robot. If I had to protect myself, I could defend myself like the protector robot. These robots were very important to me because they helped me develop pattern prompts that have evolved and stayed with me even to this day.

-Joe

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amn M E S esia

LIA D JU NNA

ishing van

AN

is

RO

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poem by mesro coles-el

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stills by julianna yonis

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fr is ie ma nds gi hi c p

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J AMES AND MARC residue of future dreams

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poem lines written and stitched together by james king and marc osborn

I am more than the sum of all elements more than a color, I am colorful, unapologetically me.

I am the continuation

that falters, worrying our predecessors, who feared so deeply for us

that they let the mother tongue rust:

tongue-tied, yet I must stutter over these syllables:

veo reflejos de mi mismo

en la noche sin estrellas.

And my dreams leave a residue which stains the monochromatic in remembrance of a universe colonized by pettiness, mediocrity, and above all, terror: a knot in the forehead guilt without memory a bloodshot vision of broken stained glass.

Thus begun the world I’m from.

Where I’m from

between the lines I traced the flight paths of geese and pelicans riding wind currents, and me,

landlocked but groundless,

jealous

not of their wings but of the air

trapped in their feathers

carrying the familiar taste of original shores.

I’ll become, but to become is not to thrive until I leave behind being blue: blessed and hypocritical, pilgrims pointed toward the past, we will stockpile common knowledge,

for the soil, for the blood, for the people, and abandon common sense.

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you are distant, yet

knowable to me, in that you are

also here, en el anochecer sin estrellas,

with time caught in your throat,

a calcified pearl

de la marea bella.

I am as you are— irreducible brilliance, uncomfortably adapted to a recognizable form in order to preserve our resilience until we explode into stars.

Dazed and dyslexic, for reasons twin and opposite,

we tie words to tree branches,

securing them against the wind.

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JOE AND J ANET

what am i forgetting?

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The objects I chose are some of the most precious memories that I have from my childhood, because I barely remember my childhood.

I used to have trouble sleeping because I would get very scared and would cry often so my mom bought he the grumpy bear to help me sleep better. Likewise, I used to be very isolated as a child until my dad bought me the Nintendo and I was more willing to play with other people and get close to them. I chose the Johnny 5 robot because I felt like I was very robotic. Like Johnny 5, I wondered if one day maybe I would get “struck by lightning” and be able to act like other people. I often have things in my hands to fidget with and the zippo lighter was one of the objects that was very soothing to hold. Lastly, I am a pizza fanatic. Even before I was born my mom would eat pizza when she was pregnant with me.

These are some of the strongest pieces of my life because they’re extremely important to me and are some of the only pieces I can remember.

-Joe

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art by joe krauter

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art by janet martinez

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When brainstorming for my piece I wanted to choose objects that were tied to key personal memories from my childhood to represent different experiences and aspects of my identity.

Growing up in Southern California I always remembered seeing hummingbirds outside of my home.

Apart from reminding me of where I've come from, the hummingbird's constant motion reminds me of where I'm going. The ice cream bar and sour patch watermelon candies represent my love for sweets, but also the endless summers I spent with my family eating palletas. Similarily, the golden poppies represent my love for California and the many ways this beautiful state has shaped who I am and who I'm yet to be.

The Ella Enchanted book has always been one of my favorites and probably marked my obsession with reading. Learning was my outlet and my safety net and continues to be so today. Lastly, the paint brushes represent my various attempts at what we call art. My interest in art has come in waves, sometimes waiting years to visit it again, but always coming back.

-Janet

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BRUCE AND VINCE not far out!

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Bruce spent approximately 150 hours creating the surfer and the surfboard for his part of the sculpture and mailed it out from San Quentin.

He created it using the limited materials available in prison: newspaper, floorwax, drywall, wire, paint, and a CD player (for the moving motor). He created it using a paper machétype technique with floorwax and newspaper to cover a paper and wire frame. He then created the fine detail using a drywall/floor-wax mixture and finished it with paint and wax.

Vince spent approximately 150 hours creating the wave for his part of the sculpture and combined the two parts. He used wire fencing and scrap wood to create the frame and then melted plastic trash collected from the ocean over it. The whitewater was created from a fishing net and shredded remnants of plastic bottles.

They established the scale and color scheme through written letters and their intuition as to what the other person would do. The surfer is mounted with epoxy on a platform of melted plastic.

30-foot waves Vince saw at Monterey Beach and sent photos of to Bruce, who responded through snail mail with, “No one was surfing that day?”

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38" x 18" x 17�

John Vonderlin collected and donated the plastic used in this piece as it washed onto the shores of Pescadero. A warm thank you from us all; you've filled your life with the the things that nobody else wanted and have managed to make something beautiful.

Check out John's collection and works at https://www.flickr.com/ photos/johnvonderlin.

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Bruce deconstructed a CD player to make the above motor, which actually runs when turned on!

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JOHN AND T ORI spoiled soil

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poem by john warren hines, sr.

Manufactured toxic soil.

To attempt to change it, Many men bled and toiled Many men’s dreams were spoiled The land of opportunity?

The American dream screams, Spoiled soil, Circumstances beyond one’s control Pesticides named, “Lack of books @ parole” Militant discrimination Aimed at stagnating our growth Systematic oppression Designed to choke Designed to provoke a hate within Different shades of spoiled soil, More adversity to contend Fraudulent artist, painting us as inferior Please let’s not pretend; Adversity takes a heart It strains and bends Many methods employed Aimed for innocent lives to end We must remember this when We face hate and then Take a step back We’re needed, Our families still lack, We’re planting seeds in soil, That still lacks Love and water Militant gardeners Stand up

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art by tori qiu

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VINCE Vince spent over 500 hours creating this sculpture, spending between 3-9 hours a day carving over a period of 5 months while a fulltime Chemistry PhD student.

pabulum

The child and reflection were created from 12 logs of wood collected after construction work and tree trimming maintenance: skin (olive wood branches), pants (very young redwood), shirt (unknown, perhaps a young eucalyptus or sycamore). The reclaimed redwood burl slab on which the child is mounted was donated by Adam Dias.

The sculpture is not yet finished, but will be comprised of approximately 50 individually caved pieces held together with glue and wooden dowels.

The redwood burl slab on which the child is mounted will be carved to resemble a river and words of the incarcerated and free artists from this zine, spoken during their weekly phone calls together will be wood burnt throughout the “river�. When finished, it will not be clear who spoke which lines.

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18” x 50” x 32”

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Adam Dias generously donated the reclaimed redwood burl slab on which the child is mounted and created the redwood plaque that will accompany this sculpture for display.

The redwood is featured as the background of these pages.

Vince cannot express his gratitude enough for supporting the incarcerated and giving him the opportunity to carve such a beautiful material. Find redwood and check out Adam’s work at www.redwoodlaser.com.

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Collaborative art between those incarcerated and those in the free world isn’t a prison reform project (though it certainly reduces recidivism). It is a project about building deep friendships and building strategies for equity in a world strained by inequities.

Together we create art about racial equality, ocean pollution, and shared childhood memories.

For many students, we find the same struggles and traumas informed our childhoods as informed the childhoods of our incarcerated collaborators. We have different lives, not because we are different people, but because we did not all receive support when hurt. Pabulum was created to commemorate this discovery and preserve the freedom of these relationships whilst still connecting them back to the urgency of prison reform.

In 2018 Emile Deweaver, who was then incarcerated at San Quentin, and Vince Pane created a 2D piece on the shared human condition.

Pabulum, meaning intellectual sustenance, builds on this shared humanity by depicting a child drinking and growing from the words exchanged by the many incarcerated people and Stanford students as they built relationships through their art. “cupping my hands, I drink their words, their “art my life preserver in this melancholy sea.”” (Lorena Orozco (SU) and Bruce Fowler (SQSP)) Thank you, Michelle Chang, Netta Wang, and Prison Renaissance for helping start all these relationships.

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art by joe krauter

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When phone communications from inside prison break down, our artists turn to letters and postcards. As reactions and reflections to the artwork are coming up for you, write them down! All the artists’ addresses can be found online at prisonrenaissance.org/i-y

Place Stamp Here

ACKNOWLEDGMENT S This zine would not have been possible without the support of so many allies. In particular, we want to acknowledge the following people.

advi sor s

Emile DeWeaver, co-founder of Prison Renaissance Project, and Selby Schwartz have served as co-directors of Stanford’s Prison Renaissance chapter. They have been the glue holding this project together and our number one cheerleaders—offering guidance and perspective on when to zoom in or out.

To the rest of the larger Stanford Prison Renaissance chapter, thank you for encouraging us when this zine was only an unfathomable idea.

ar tis t s & te am

Guillaume Riesen, Victoria Rogers, Jarku Tang, for committing to the process of artistic collaboration and their weekly phone calls even as their collaborative partnerships did not work this time around. We want to provide space to acknowledge the unglorifying patiece of their efforts and sacrifices.

Lorena Orozco, for writing a beautiful poem, on short notice, to do justice to the multitudes of Vince’s “Pabulum” piece on its accompanying plaque when other attempts to describe the piece didn’t feel like enough.

do nor s

57 GoFundMe donors, for choosing to believe in this zine and giving us a community to lean on when we could not rely on institutional sources of funding.

Stanford’s Black Community Center and San Francisco’s Alley Cat Bookstore for generously sponsoring the venues for our zine launches.

THANK YOU

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