IDEE FIXE (2008)

Score

MICHAEL-THOMAS FOUMAI

Idée Fixe for Narrator, Violin, Cello & Piano (2008) Text By Johnette Makamae Martin

MICHAEL-THOMAS FOUMAI

Idée Fixe for Narrator, Violin, Cello & Piano (2008)

Text By Johnette Makamae Martin

Date of printing: 26 June 2014

Performance materials are available from the composer: www.michaelfoumai.com Published by the Foumai Foundation: foumaifoundation@gmail.com Š 2008 by Michael-Thomas Foumai & Foumai Foundation Honolulu, HI Printed in the U.S.A. All rights of performance and broadcast are strictly reserved.

Program Note The eight poems that comprise Ideé Fixe are written by Johnette Makamae Martin. All of the poems are fixed on a single idea, a fanciful obsession of a lover never to be gained. Given the opportunity to set these poems in collaboration with the poet, I suggested setting these poems to song, which the poet did not like, and she suggested that the work be instrumental reflections, which I felt would be a disservice to not include any text. The final consensus was to set the poems in narration. This would keep the text spoken and not sung while allowing the music in the background and foreground to reflect the text. The poems range from long narratives to short haiku poems and express a wide range of mood changes synonymous with the emotions and thoughts one would have in an obsessive fantasy-like affair.

- MICHAEL-THOMAS FOUMAI The first performance was given by Keane Ishii and the University of Hawaii Piano Trio, May 1, 2008.

Duration: 25 minutes

Performance Notes • Narrator should be amplified in movements 1,2,3,4,5,7, and 8. (6- narration calls for yelling and shouting which should not be amplified) • A person with a baritone range should speak the part of narrator.

• Narration should flow and correspond to the placement in the score. If at any point, the narration becomes out of sync with the music, the narration should continue in a natural flow, do not forcibly speed or slow down the tempo of speech.

1. Los Susurros (Whispers) The deafening silence.

The empty, meaningless stare Words escape my mind in your presence Instead filled with daydreams of an unrealistic affair My naĂŻve adolescence, your superior significance To you, all others I compare Intended impressions prove to be disappointments Nothing seems to persuade The one-sided childish attachment Watching as interest fades The deprivation of knowledge No feeling of pity The decrease of courage No possession of preferable identity All that I am, you find inadequate Forever floating in a sea of disapproval The true quantity of feelings, I will never admit Never to be revealed, fearing your refusal The unreasonable longing The mere thought of you brings a sensation The continuous wondering The lustful temptation The hope for your confession No control of conscious imagination The hope for our progression The arrival at a saddening realization Through my eyes, I see your perfection In your eyes, I only see my reflection So, I will remain here in sorrow For you to break the silence Always wanting my hoped for tomorrow.

2. The Green Pear The bittersweet taste Longing for the flavor Daydreams of experiencing every piece of you that I would carefully savor The mention of you is a tease I must have you, I can’t resist

Once I have you, I consume more and more with ease Not long after, a pain starts within me But I can’t stop, I must have more I am now afraid that I’ll never be free It’s an addiction; I’m no longer in control I need you although you hurt me The effect you have on me soon takes it toll Now drowning in my tears, I can no longer stand it This infatuation is over here and now I must kick this habit The sight of it now brings back memories of hope, but also despair Because I am still in love with the green pear.

3. A heart just healed A heart just healed Again broken and shattered Pieces that won’t fit

4. Our Secret Place The sunlight creates shadows on your face The face I reach out to touch with only my fingertips Softly grazing, I can feel the spots you missed this morning while shaving Your imperfections make me feel no different As we go inside and sit down, you don’t mind how close we get Accidental brushes, exchanging of glances, flashes of smiles I catch you staring at me, but you catch me doing the same Both playing, both flirting, both knowing You turn off all of the lights as we go to leave for the night which leaves us both standing alone in the dark Your voice hits my ear in a whisper I can feel your body heat through the pitch black I now realize that you are in back of me, right up against me I can feel the warmth of your breath at the nape of my neck I close my eyes, wet my lips and take a deep breath in While I open my eyes again, I turn my head to focus on the words you whisper to me I can now see you from some light that has escaped from a small window Our eyes lock, my heart starts beating faster and faster My breathing gets deeper and deeper I stay where I am, wanting for this moment to last as long as it can Hoping it will lead somewhere, to something more I lean my body in towards you,

Feeling different pieces of your clothing caressing open skin of my arms and legs I turn around to face towards you As you finish our dialogue for the evening Slowly, your arms stretch outwards toward me, to embrace me Not knowing what to expect, I hesitate and step back, but you don’t allow distance between us Your arms search for me, completely wrapping themselves around my body Pulling me inwards toward you You press me ever so gently, but forcefully against you I can feel all of you from your chest to your hips and thighs As we stand in the darkness Thigh to thigh, hip to hip, chest to chest A flame ignites through my body It makes my lips quiver and my being vulnerable

5. The tears once stopped The tears once stopped Misty days and sleepless nights Now flood all of me

6. Why? Why her and not me?

Why them and not me?

Why are they deserving?

Why am I not enough?

Why can’t you approach me?

Why am I different?

Why can’t you acknowledge me?

Why walk past and say nothing?

Why is it so hard to say “hi”?

Why can’t you compliment me?

Why can’t you tell me I look “nice”?

Why can’t you talk to me like everybody else?

Why can’t you treat me like everyone else?

Like a person?

Like a human being?

Like a woman?

Why do you act different around me?

Why do you hide things from me?

Why do you lie to me?

Why do you do this to me?

Why me?

Why?

7. My one-sided love My one-sided love She really is beautiful The one you truly love

8. Love is inevitable Everyone knows someone that they just can’t help, but want I can’t help, but want you all the time, in every way Although you would never consider me, my head knows this well I’m trying not to love you, but my heart won’t let you go I hate myself for loving you so much when you are in love with another You two are happy together, it’s plain to see that The way you look at her, the way you hold her, the way you kiss her There is no doubt in anyone’s mind where your feelings lie Nowhere near being for me But how do you stop a stubborn heart?

You can’t I have to endure the pain © 2008 Johnette Makamae Martin.

Idée Fixe

Text: JOHNETTE MAKAMAE MARTIN

for Narrator, Violin, Cello & Piano

MICHAEL-THOMAS FOUMAI (2008)

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My naïve adolescence, your superior significance To you, all others I compare

Copyright © 2008 Michael-Thomas Foumai & Foumai Foundation (ASCAP) International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved.

Warning: Unauthorized reproduction of this publication is prohibited by Federal law and subject to criminal prosecution.

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(Repeat till cue)

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at the nape of my neck

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right up agianst me.

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caressing open skin of my arms and legs

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around to face towards you as you finish our dialogue for the evening

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(hesitant) Not knowing what to expect,

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Misty days and sleepless nights now flood all of me

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Why can't you compliment me?

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sfz

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Like a human being?

Like a person?

sfz

+ +

Why can't you treat me like everyone else?

-/C - / C

-/C

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March 2008, Honolulu, HI