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Miami University — Oxford, Ohio
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
Volume 147 No. 6
MU EMPLOYEE INDICTED ON RAPE CHARGES FACES HEARING NEXT WEEK
JULIA ARWINE STAFF WRITER
CÉILÍ DOYLE NEWS EDITOR
Brandon Levi Gilbert, a Miami University building and grounds assistant, was indicted on five counts of sexual assault charges, including a first degree felony for the rape of a female student, in the Butler County Court of Common pleas last Tuesday. Gilbert was charged with the first degree felony for rape, two second degree felonies for attempted rape and felonious assault and two counts of first degree felonies for kidnapping, according to court documents. He posted 10 percent of his $75,000 bond and is now out of Butler County Jail. Gilbert has worked for Miami since April 2017 and is still suspended without pay from the university, Senior VP for Finance and Business Services David Creamer, wrote in a letter to Gilbert obtained from his personnel file. Judge Gregory Howard will preside over the case in the Butler County Courthouse in Hamilton, Ohio. A plea hearing will take place next week at 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday, Oct. 17. Check miamistudent.net next week for further updates on this pending case.
CLOCKWISE, FROM TOP LEFT: DAVID SEIDL, SUSAN SCOTT, VICTORIA FARNSWORTH, MARK MACNAUGHTON. CONTRIBUTED BY MIAMI NEWS AND COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
Miami seeks to hire a new VP for IT
The Information Services department is conducting a search for a new vice president and chief information officer (CIO) after J. Peter Natale retired last spring. It is the highest paid job in the IT department, and Natale’s total salary of just over $246,000 last year was the fifth highest-paid VP position on campus, according to Miami’s 2017 annual salary roster. “We are seeking an experienced, collaborative and visionary leader with exemplary communication skills to provide the necessary strategy, technology platforms and systems to influence every aspect of campus life,” said Ted Pickerill, secretary to the board of trustees and executive assistant to the university president. Pickerill is heading the search. The selection process for applicants included securing approval from the Office of Equity and Equal Opportunity, closed interviews with hiring officials and then open interviews in which the public could ask questions of each candidate. The final four candidates are David Seidl, Susan Scott, Mark MacNaughton and Victoria Farnsworth. Three of these candidates — Seidl, Scott and Farnsworth— are currently employed at different universities, while MacNaughton is an outsider to academia. David Seidl is the senior director of campus technology services at the University of Notre Dame. He has held various information security positions at Notre Dame since he first started working there in 2008. Before that, he worked in information security at Purdue University for four years. He has a broad technical background, and he emphasized his success in staff engagement and building strong relationships. Susan Scott is the associate CIO at the University of Dayton, where she has worked in technology, accounting and CONTINUED ON PAGE 3
Questions surround Title IX policy change SAMANTHA BRUNN NEWS EDITOR
The Title IX policy change enacted by Miami University has left students wondering whether the university truly aims to “stand with all Miamians...to make our campus more safe and more secure,” as university president Greg Crawford stated in his annual address last week. “The recent changes have understandably prompted questions about what this will look like for our students at Miami,” Gabrielle Dralle, the university’s deputy Title IX coordinator for students, said. “I am here to help students involved in our Title IX process so they need not navigate the process alone.” Dralle said her office is committed to prioritizing the safety of students and their right to an equal education.
Miami University quickly complied with the Sixth Circuit federal court ruling, and may have been the first school affected to do so. No other university affected by the decision has publicly stated that their policy has changed. The ruling is in line with the Trump administration and U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos’ priorities in giving more rights to the accused in sexual assault cases. The University of Michigan has appealed the ruling, saying the ruling could discourage survivors from reporting their assaults and that it would negatively impact low-income students. Claire Wagner, director of Miami’s university news and communications office, said the impact on low-income students is no different than the impact under the university’s previous policy. Students who cannot afford legal
representation are at a disadvantage under both policies, but arguably more so under the new policy, by which the representative has the ability to cross-examine the other party in the case and therefore has more of a presence in the hearing. Wagner explained that the university’s previous policy allowed the accused and the accuser in these cases to avoid emotional confrontation in a hearing room by being present through web conferencing. The previous policy also allowed the accused and accuser to question one another through the hearing panel, rather than personally or through their representative. Under the new policy, Wagner claimed students could only cross-examine each other personally, and not through their representatives. But that is not the case according to the ruling, which states, “If a public university has to choose between competing
narratives to resolve a case, the university must give the accused student or his agent an opportunity to cross-examine the accuser and adverse witnesses in the presence of a neutral fact-finder.” Wagner admitted the Office of Community Standards, formerly known as The Office of Ethics and Student Conflict Resolution (OESCR), would be better equipped to comment on the policy change, but at press time, Office of Community Standards director Ann James could not be reached for comment. The Miami Student reached out to the university Title IX coordinator Kenya Ash’s office, but was redirected to Wagner’s office. @samantha_brunn firstname.lastname@example.org
This Issue Caged Bird(s) are freed
No stone left unturned
Bird bailed out a number of the scooter fleet that was impounded by MUPD.
Oxford Rocks is a Facebook group dedicated to exploration .
The bitter taste of reality
Starting off strong
DELISH is gone. Our columnist has something to say about it.
Miami hockey opens with series sweep for the first time in five years.
CALL FOR ART
OUTSIDE THE BOX
Spooky brews food on page 6 & 7
THE opportunity to show your work (& win money) in the
Miami University Art Museum Student Response Exhibition Spring 2019 Submission Deadline October 15, 2018 Learn more at tinyurl.com/otbsp19
This Week TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018 Named the Best College Newspaper (Non-daily) in Ohio by the Society of Professional Journalists.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Audrey Davis Kirby Davis Alison Perelman Managing Editors
Kelly Burns Opinion Editor Ben Finfrock Asst. Opinion Editor
Ben Smith Design Editor
Megan Zahneis Chief Copy Editor
Jugal Jain Photo Editor
Alyssa Melendez Web Designer
Emily Brustoski Video Editor Ceili Doyle Samantha Brunn News Editors
Lindsay Cerio Business Manager
Caroline Creek Asst. News Editor
James Tobin Faculty Adviser
Madeline Mitchell Kate Rigazio Culture Editors
Fred Reeder Business Adviser WDJ Inc. - Bill Dedden Distributor
Emily Simanskis Sports Editor Cartoonist Arthur Newberry
Asst. Photo Editor Bo Brueck
Designers Connor Wells
Photography Staff Erik Craigo G M Akand Sabik Heather McCowan Justin Maschmeyer Kat Holleran Macy Whitaker Colleen Grimm Danielle Nehring Matthew Heckert
Opinion Columnists Michael Stemmler Paolo FedericoO’Murchu Senior Staff Writers Julia Arwine
Ruisi Luo Genevieve Dietz Zach Reichman Zaim Haq Tyler Galyon Videography Staff Jack Barteck Rick Das
Website: www.miamistudent.net For advertising information: email@example.com Send us a letter? firstname.lastname@example.org The Miami Student is published on Tuesdays during the school year by the students of Miami University, Oxford, Ohio. The content of The Miami Student is the sole responsibility of The Miami Student staff. Opinions expressed in The Miami Student are not necessarily those of Miami University, its students or staff. CORRECTIONS POLICY The Miami Student is committed to providing the Miami University community with the most accurate information possible. Corrections may be submitted up to seven calendar days after publication.
Things to do Rockwell Kent: The Art of storytelling Miami University Art Museum, Tuesday, 5:30 p.m. Pepper Stetler, associate professor of art and architecture history, explores artist Rockwell Kent’s storytelling in her lecture at Miami’s art museum. Kent’s prints tell stories — on their own and as illustrations of American literature. Learn about an important piece of art history at this free event.
Wind Ensemble Hall Auditorium, Wednesday, 7:30 p.m. The October Wind Ensemble concert celebrates Leonard Bernstein’s 100th birthday through two of his compositions. The works of other American composers, including Aaron Copland and George Gershwin, will also be featured. Admission to the concert is free.
National Coming Out Day Upham Arch, Thursday, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. LGBTQ+ Services invites members of the Miami community to show their Pride and support by taking a picture with the “Coming Out Doorway.” Want your name on a Pride flag to be displayed across campus? Swing by Armstrong near the Seal on October 8-10 from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. to sign your name.
International Education Week Online, Thursday, by 11:59 p.m. Did you have an amazing study abroad experience you want everyone to know about? All Miami students are encouraged to submit essays, photos and videos that highlight transformative cultural experiences. Head to MiamiOH.edu/IEW to submit your piece for a chance to win prizes, including cash!
Volume 111, No. 14 October 11, 2983
CORRECTION “Energized: Miami hockey ready for season” contained incorrect information about 15 newcomers joining the Miami hockey program, and the program trying to avoid a fifth consecutvie under .500 season. The story was updated online for accuracy at 4 p.m. on Oct. 2, 2018.
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Miami seeks to hire a new VP for IT FROM PAGE 1 administrative positions since 1999. She has extensive management, finance and tech experience. Victoria Farnsworth is the executive director of enterprise solutions in the IT department at Purdue University. She highlighted her skills in management, communications and problem solving. In addition, she has co-authored several publications in the IT field. Mark MacNaughton is the senior vice president at Cardinal Health, a healthcare company in Columbus,
OH. He has a background in business and IT security, strategy and architecture, as well as experience doing business internationally, especially in Europe and Asia. He is also a Miami graduate from the class of 1987. At the open interviews, Miami faculty expressed a particular interest in the candidates’ thoughts on and experiences in such topics as accessible technology for people with disabilities, high performance computing (in which supercomputers aggregate large amounts of computing power to solve large problems) in higher ed-
ucation and the role of a central IT office as opposed to smaller, departmentalized IT offices in the student experience. President Gregory Crawford, assisted by the selection committee, will make the final hiring decision. However, Crawford is currently in Luxembourg, and Pickerill could not say for certain when the decision will be announced. email@example.com
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On the Docket: The Supreme Court and the Future of American Democracy
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In the spring of 2015, the Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity and Miami University made the decision to suspend all chapter activities. As a result, no organization at Miami University should be operating under the name Phi Kappa Psi. We ask that you support the decision made by our organization and Miami University by refraining from taking part in any activity or event that may be passed off as a Phi Kappa Psi endeavor. Such events are not sanctioned by our organization and participation may violate your University’s code of conduct. Phi Kappa Psi is committed to ensuring a safe and prosperous college experience for all students at MU. We encourage men at MU to consider joining one of the University’s 23 men’s social fraternal organizations. We look forward to our return to Miami University in the near future. If you have any questions, please contact Phi Kappa Psi Director of Chapter Services & Standards Brian Kochheiser at (317) 632-1852 or by email at BTK@phikappapsi.com.
Learning to lead: faculty take part in MI_LEAD RACHEL BERRY STAFF WRITER
Miami University President Gregory Crawford initiated the Miami Institute for Leadership and Executive Advanced Development (MI_LEAD) this August to train faculty members and prepare them to obtain higher positions in the future. The program took place Aug. 7-8 with a day-and-a-half long workshop and will continue throughout the school year with follow-up meetings and monthly lunches. The 25 attendees at the event were appointed by the head of their divisions, and many of them were assistant vice presidents or associate deans. This was the first year for the program, which is meant to foster smooth transitions when upper leadership officials retire or leave. “The MI_LEAD Program is designed to develop a new generation of leaders on campus who can rise to the occasion, when needed, to lead their divisions,” Crawford said. The workshop in early August consisted of speakers from various fields discussing their views on leadership and providing concrete examples from their own experi-
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
ences. Presenters included leaders both within and outside the university and ranged from Crawford to CEOs to military personnel — all of whom had some stake in higher education. “We really wanted this experience to include leadership across disciplines and industries because so many leadership principles cross boundaries,” Crawford said. Deputy Director of Athletics Jude Killy appreciates the program because it continues throughout the whole year instead of ending with one conference. “It was really an investment from the university into its current personnel which I think was something we all that participated took away from it and felt very positive about,” Killy said. One of Crawford’s goals for the initiative was to humanize leadership principles by allowing people to tell their own stories. Interim director of the music department Christopher Tanner attended the conference and has served in various leadership roles throughout his career both professionally and through directing the steel band. “That experience of being an ensemble director has provided leadership opportunity for me
throughout my career,” Tanner said. Tanner also appreciated the opportunity to meet leaders from different departments through MI_LEAD. “The participants in the program comprise an excellent cohort of faculty and staff colleagues,” Tanner said. “The members of the cohort are not only being introduced to the speakers who are in senior leadership positions, but we’re also getting to know one another.” Crawford hoped that through the speaker’s stories, participants would be better able to visualize the principles they were being presented with. “We also wanted to feature and emphasize one core aspect of leadership, which is the human dimension, to provide insight into the core virtues that help leaders lead through challenges, growth, opportunity, change etc., leading always with purpose, mission, collaboration, relationship-building and trust,” Crawford said. Crawford said MI_LEAD will continue in the future with a new group of people each year. firstname.lastname@example.org
MUPD impounds improperly parked Bird scooters
ASG nixes internal banquet funds RACHEL BERRY STAFF WRITER
Miami University’s Associated Student Government (ASG) voted to approve their internal budget at their meeting on Tuesday, Oct. 2 after removing funds previously allocated to an ASG banquet. They also approved two senators to serve on the search committee to find a new student representative for Miami’s board of trustees (BoT). Senators created an internal budget document to determine which amounts of money would be designated for various tasks throughout the school year. It was presented to the group at their meeting on Sept. 25, and they waited to vote until last week. One concern addressed was the $2,560 allocated to a banquet for ASG senators. Some senators saw this allocation hypocritical because ASG does not allow other organizations to use their funds to purchase food. This amount made up 75 percent of their communications budget, which means the majority of the money dedicated to promoting their “services”was used on this one banquet. Senators voted to take all of the money from the banquet budget and to keep it for when “something more important” comes up in the future. However, they did not elaborate as to what would qualify as such. After making this amendment, they unanimously voted to approve the new budget. Senior professional writing and political science double major Hallie Jankura and junior political science and in-
tegrated social studies education major Megan Cremeans explained what the role of a student trustee entails to the Senators. Student trustees work as non-voting members on the BoT to help board members understand the student experience. Jankura is graduating this spring, and her two-year term ends halfway through next semester. ASG voted on two senators to serve on the search committee for Jankura’s replacement. Sophomore political science and black world studies major Jannie Kamara, senior psychology major Monica Venzke, and senior urban and regional planning and economics major James Gale ran for the search committee positions. First-year human capital management and leadership major Spencer Silbey and first-year political science major Chelsea Kao also ran for the position. After all five candidates presented why they were running and responded to questions from the audience, the senators elected Gale and Kamara. The two senators will join others on the committee in an effort to choose the best candidate for student trustee. The committee will interview candidates and make a selection. They will then send their recommendation to the governor of Ohio, who will make the final decision. Check miamistudent.net and next week’s issue for updates on the search for the new student trustee. email@example.com
Humans of Oxford Haley Edmondson: Advocating for education HANNAH STRAUB THE MIAMI STUDENT
THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF AN IMPROPERLY PARKED SCOOTER. DESIGN EDITOR BEN SMITH
COLLIN M. FINN
THE MIAMI STUDENT
The Miami University Police Department impounded 22 improperly parked Bird scooters last week. The confiscations came days before the launch of 150 more e-scooters from Lime, a second company moving into Oxford. According to new university policy, the scooters must be parked in bike racks when they are left on campus. Officers found the scooters parked on campus in locations not designated for personal transportation devices and bikes. MUPD stored the scooters until Bird recovered them Friday at a cost of $35 each.
MUPD’s communications office did not return request for comment. Charles Kennick, Associated Student Government (ASG) secretary for off-campus affairs, said Bird is working with the university to stress that e-scooters must be parked in bike racks. “Bird and Lime could potentially pull out of the market if the issue prevails,” Kennick said. “We need to operate under the current rules until we can change the rules.” Kennick spoke with a Bird representative on Monday, Oct. 8 to discuss the future of e-scooters on Miami’s campus. Kennick said ASG will continue to work on publicizing
current school policies regarding scooters and that Bird plans on doing multiple events to promote safety and proper scooter use. The impoundments received attention from students on social media. In a Facebook post, Jannie Kamara, a Miami student and ASG senator, stressed that students should properly park the scooters or face the possibility of not having e-scooters in the future. “The moral of the story is that if you take a Bird on campus, park them at the bike racks and then they won’t get taken,” Kamara said in the post. “That’s literally all you have to do.” firstname.lastname@example.org
She’s sitting in the corner of a Starbucks, sipping on a venti iced coffee, face hidden behind a large laptop screen coated in colorful stickers. Hanging on the chair behind her is a bright yellow raincoat, contrasting with the gloomy day, but highlighting her smile as she speaks. Haley Edmondson grew up in Anchorage, Alaska — one of the biggest cities in the state, with no surrounding suburbs. Paying her own way through college, she hopes to graduate from Miami in three years with graduate or law school in her future. Her goal: To bring change to the education system. Attending high school in a district made up of eight institutions, Edmondson quickly found her passion for student government. “Our city was intimate enough for most students to be familiar with the legislators, and through student government I was able to represent my school in monthly district meetings,” she said. Edmondson and another friend would organize book drives, soup kitchen visits and fashion shows — events that would unite their school, but not the entire district. “My friend became the first student represented on the school board, and that year I was also elected as the district’s student body president,” Edmondson said. “We were beyond excited for what was to come, yet we were seen as children, and it still did not feel like our voice was being
heard.” Wanting to enact change, Edmondson, along with adult school board members, took to the streets and started talking to legislators in the capital city of Juneau. They sought equal funding and equal representation among school districts, which would, hopefully, result in graduation grades rising as suspension rates fell. Yet, the meetings did not produce outcomes that Edmondson was expecting. “I remember my friend and I walking out of offices with tears streaming down our face, feeling so defeated, but it never stopped us,” said Edmondson. Edmondson is a sophomore education studies major with a concentration in equity and educational change at Miami. In her time here, she has absorbed much information regarding the American education system and how a student’s education can be altered based on racial and socioeconomic causes. “It’s cool because a lot of the things I’m learning about now, I was able to witness firsthand as a sixteen-yearold,” she said. “And I really didn’t realize how many tools I’ve gained to help my effort of fixing these issues.” Like many students, she doesn’t have a clear route of where she’s going or how the path will form in front of her. But she’s helping it progress today, in a corner of Miami University — yellow raincoat in tow. email@example.com
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
New York Times best-selling Two additional sexual assaults reported to author to visit Miami OPD last week
Nine total incidents reported to authorities this semester
THE MIAMI STUDENT
Acclaimed author and journalist Keith O’Brien is headed to Miami on Monday, Oct. 15 to talk about his new best-selling book, “Fly Girls: How Five Daring Women Defied All Odds and Made Aviation History.” O’Brien will visit two classes on campus and join a small group of students for dinner with a lecture about the book beginning at 7:00 p.m. in the John Dolibois Room in Shriver Center. O’Brien is an award-winning journalist and former staff writer for both the Boston Globe and the New Orleans Times-Picayune. He is a recipient the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism and has written two books, been a finalist for the PEN/ESPN Award for Literary Sports writing and contributed to National Public Radio. “Fly Girls” is currently 14th on The New York Times’ best-seller list for hardcover non-fiction books. O’Brien said his book hit stores at a unique moment, coinciding with the growth of the #MeToo movement. The book, released in early August, tells the story of five women — Florence Klingensmith, Ruth Elder, Amelia Earhart, Ruth Nichols, and Louise Thaden — and how they came together to compete in the National Air Races against men, from the 1920’s to the 1930’s. Fly Girls aims to uncover the unknown history of pioneering women who stood up against gender discrimination. firstname.lastname@example.org
CÉILÍ DOYLE NEWS EDITOR
WOMEN CONQUER THE SKIES IN O’BRIEN’S “FLY GIRLS.” CONTRIBUTED BY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
Two more sexual assault related crimes were reported in the past week to the Oxford Police Department (OPD), bringing the total number of incidents reported this semester to nine. On Tuesday, Oct. 2, officer Peter Durkin met with a female who reported to OPD that she was sexually assaulted nearly two years ago, on Oct. 31, 2016, in the city of Oxford. The incident report lists the offense as “sexual imposition,” which according to Ohio Revised Code refers to any sexual contact with an individual’s “erogenous area” or the “thigh, genitals, buttocks, public region or female breast.” In the second incident, a woman reported to officer Shelly Sikora at McCullough-Hyde Hospital that she was sexually assaulted by an unknown male on Thursday, Oct. 4. The report listed “rape—force, threat of” as the offense, and the case is currently under investigation. Survivors in the Miami University community who wish to report their assaults
can contact any campus security enforcement, including the Miami University Police Department 513-519-2222, OPD 513-523-4321, the Office of Ethics and Student Conflict Resolution 513-529-1417 and any academic or student organization adviser, as well as athletic coaches. If any individuals wish to talk to a non-mandatory reporter for confidential support, they can call or text Sierra Clippinger at 513-431-1111. Clippinger is Miami’s campus-based support specialist from Women Helping Women. She’s available from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day and her email is email@example.com. Read more at miamistudent.net to read our continuing coverage of sexual assault this semester. @cadoyle_18 firstname.lastname@example.org
Crawford outlines university’s accomplishments and goals in annual address DAN WOZNIAK
THE MIAMI STUDENT
After a full year of Miami University operations, President Gregory Crawford took the stage once again in Wilks Theater on Wednesday, Oct. 4, to speak to Miami faculty and students about the state of the university. Crawford began his address by discussing the reason for the conference and what the university hopes to achieve. “Today I want to talk about purpose and advancing Miami’s purpose in today’s world,” Crawford said. “Our vision for Miami’s future must be crystal clear: an academic community where students and faculty break through barriers and transcend disciplines to solve big problems.” Crawford focused on the goals he and other faculty hope to achieve
for the university’s prosperity. He said he believes all faculty members must strive to see out Miami’s vision and has no doubt they will. “Our staff is motivated and inspired by the Miami community and supportive of the entire Miami family,” Crawford said. “I cannot convey how grateful I am for the dedicated faculty, committed staff, the loyal alumni and the passionate students right here at Miami.” Crawford also recognized the strides Miami has made over the past few years, stating how proud he is of our performance as a university and community. “We made great progress towards our strategic goals and advanced Miami on the national and world stage,” Crawford said. Miami’s rank as the third best public university in the country for undergraduate teaching, according to U.S. News and World Report,
was held up as an acknowledgement of Miami’s academic success. He also acknowledged the research accomplishments of several professors and the success our mock trial and e-sports teams have attained. After addressing the successes Miami has experienced in the past year, Crawford changed his focus and described what changes will be made to improve the University moving forward. The president plans to establish six subcommittees focusing on “academic excellence, research and scholarship success, transformative student experience, diversity, inclusion, and community, financial and resource sustainability and Miami as a national university.” Crawford reiterated academics as the university’s number one priority but admitted tough choices may lie ahead. “All academic programs cannot
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grow,” Crawford said. “Students are signaling priorities with their enrollments and we must adapt to them. The good news is we have the talent, the vision and the expertise on our campuses to make those choices and thrive.” Crawford emphasized the importance of diversifying Miami’s student population and believes creating a welcoming environment for all minorities is essential to Miami’s vitality. By creating a community that respects all people and ideas, Miami believes that it will be able to reach its full potential. The president briefly mentioned sexual assault and high risk alcohol consumption on Miami’s campuses, but did not make any statements in regards to changes that should be made to reduce the prevalence of these issues in the Miami community.
“These are very serious issues for our students,” Crawford said. “We stand with all Miamians, working to make our campus more safe and more secure.” This fall, Crawford will be working on growing Miami in a variety of areas but is confident and proud to be given the task. “We will seek and discover answers to enduring questions and solutions to national and grand global challenges, and we will create evidence based and data informed values,” Crawford said. “As an institution and as individuals, we will be known for our creativity, our service, our global leadership, and our purpose.” firstname.lastname@example.org
Simplicity: Potatoes, Cream, Salt JACK EVANS
I spent this past summer in Michigan’s Leelanau peninsula, curing duck, portioning fish, roasting vegetables and peeling potatoes. The Leelanau, as locals and longtime vacationers call it, is a simplistically beautiful place. Sun drenches the forest, a clear and healthy wind that barrels across the lake and turquoise water fills yawning bays carved out some 14,000-odd years ago by retreating glaciers that left behind towering sand dunes. The basic elements of creation feel present there. The region’s beauty and mild climate has made it a premier tourist destination in the state. The peninsula protrudes from the northwest corner of the state, and it sits on top of the northern 45th parallel of the globe — travel due east across the Atlantic and you’ll hit Bordeaux and France’s Rhine river valley. In recent years, the area has sprouted vineyards and wineries in equal parts reflection and aspiration of its European counterparts. Winemakers aside, out of the region’s crowded restaurant scene, one chef and his kitchen embody the geographic connection to the French countryside and its culinary traditions. Guillaume Hazaël-Massieux was born in Paris and attended culinary school in France before he moved to southern Michigan in 1996. He eventually found his way north along the state’s west coast and purchased La Bécasse, a small French-countrystyle restaurant in the Leelanau town of Glen Arbor. He works as chef-owner, his time split between La Bécasse and a French bistro he opened a half hour away in Traverse City. At the beginning of June, I started part-time as a prep cook at La Bécasse. I applied for the job to cover some of my living costs while I tried to finish classwork and clear my head from what was my most personally-disastrous semester at Miami.a But I also took the job because I wanted to learn how to cook in a professional kitchen — a real kitchen. I had been a home cook for a while, constantly making dinner for roommates and family, tearing my way through Kitchen Confidential and watching everything Bon Appetit ever posted on Youtube. As the weeks rolled from June into July into August, I slipped deeper into the isolation of living alone in a forest, without roots in a tourist community reliant on constant human turnover. Life took on a rote simplicity: eat, stress, sleep, then do it all
over again. My few days a week prepping for the dinner shift at La Bécasse were rote, too. Mostly, I prepared the same dishes every shift. The restaurant had a small menu, and French country cooking isn’t unusually complex. While the sauces and stocks for soups required close attention and technique — and were largely out of my purview, even by the end of the summer — the constituent parts of almost every meal served were the same: meat, vegetables and a
fork) and the cream is starting to brown at the edges, take the foil off and bake at 400 degrees for maybe 30 more minutes. If it’s not brown or the potatoes are hard, cook longer and check regularly. I made that dish twice a week for a whole summer. I made it from memory for my mother’s birthday, and I made it again on Sunday for our staff. In a kitchen busy with cooks and their projects, the overhead space brimmed with personal jabs and profanities in three languages — Chef Guillaume’s
PHOTO EDITOR JUGAL JAIN
starch, most often some kind of potato, usually potato au gratin. Au gratin is a straightforward dish: Potatoes, cream, salt. Elemental. Start by peeling potatoes — six russets will do well for a home kitchen. We sometimes used a dozen at La Becasse. Slice them to an eighth of an inch, or as thin as you reasonably can. Mix salt with about a quart of heavy cream, until the cream itself is noticeably salty. Arrange the potatoes, overlapping the slices in a deep baking dish and pouring cream between each layer. Leave an inch between the potatoes and the rim of the dish. Cover in foil and bake for about 40 minutes at 350 degrees. If the potatoes are starting to soften (check with a
in French, Blanca’s in Spanish, mine and all the rest in English. The kitchen air, thick with conversations about movies and the inner-workings of Honda sedans and high school graduations and Argentina’s performance in the World Cup and bear hunting and blown-out knees, was best cut by the waft of browning potatoes cooked long and simply in cream and salt. Despite the repetitiveness of my shifts as a prep cook, work in the kitchen was different than the monotony of the days I spent cooped up by myself. It was healthier — still routine, but made warmer and brighter by company, and by simple food cooked well.
Spooky Brews for all you Ghouls Monster Mash (Blackberry Cobbler)
Every Halloween party can benefit from a little liquid courage. Here are a few spooky libations sure to please the costumed crowds that show up at your door.
3 cups gin 1 cup of dry sherry 1 cup frozen blackberries 1 cup sugar 1 orange 2 lemons A dozen sprigs of mint Combine the cup of sugar with an equal amount of water in a saucepan set on medium-high heat. Stir until the syrup is clear and almost boiling, then drop the heat to medium-low and dump in your blackberries. Stir for about three to six minutes, until the blackberries have colored the syrup and are soft but still hold some shape. Kill the heat, and take the next few minutes to slice the orange and lemons into thin rounds. Once the mixture has cooled to room temperature, combine it with the remaining ingredients in a large pitcher. Use the handle of a wooden spoon to muddle (and mash) the fruit and mint together. Refrigerate the pitcher for as long as you can. Serve by pouring the concoction through a strainer and into a glass full of ice. Make sure you use a lot of ice on this one, as its quite booo-zy and benefits from dilution. Garnish with blackberries and fresh mint.
Dracula’s Nightcap (Kir Royale) 2 standard-size bottles of champagne 1 cup Chambord Maraschino cherries For the culinarily-challenged, this one is one is perfect — only two ingredients and a garnish. As long as you like your cocktails sweet, no flavor is sacrificed. Combine the champagne and Chambord, a blood-red raspberry liqueur, in a large pitcher. You’ll want to refrigerate the ingredients before combining — if you let this one sit in the fridge too long, you’ll lose all the carbonation. If you have the patience to pour each drink individually, the champagne will stay bubbly for longer. To serve, pour into a chilled wine glass (or a coupe, if you have one) and garnish with a single cherry. Enjoy your night, and then crawl back into your coffin for a long day of sleep.
PHOTO EDITOR JUGAL JAIN
TOBER 9, 2018
Tombstone Cake with a Bloody Surprise 2 boxes white cake mix 6 whole eggs 2 ½ cups water ⅔ cup vegetable oil 1 pint fresh raspberries 2 tsp. lemon juice 1 tbsp. water ⅓ cup sugar 2 cups white chocolate chips ⅔ cup heavy cream JULIA ARWINE STAFF WRITER
Halloween wouldn’t be complete without something sweet. You can go out and buy a few bags of candy bars for your party— or you can be a cool ghoul and surprise everyone with this tombstone-esque cake that bleeds when you cut into it. Impressive but doable: it’s a vanilla cake with buttercream icing, raspberry coulis “blood” and a white chocolate drip ganache. First, make the vanilla cakes. I made mine with a box mix to save time and ingredients, but if you have enough of those to spare, feel free to make it from scratch. What’s important, however, is that you make white cake, not yellow cake— both are vanilla, but white cake will make the spooky surprise inside stand out best. Mix all the ingredients well and pour the batter into two 13 x 9’’ pans. Pop them in the oven for around 30 minutes, until a toothpick in the center comes out clean. While the cake is baking, make the raspberry coulis. Coulis is just a fancy name for any type of fruit sauce, and it’s simple so don’t be intimidated if you’re not a coulis connoisseur. In a saucepan over medium heat, add the raspberries, water, lemon juice and sugar all at once. Stir constantly until the raspberries break down into something between a pulp and a sauce and the sugar has dissolved — probably about five to seven minutes. Press the finished mixture through a fine mesh sieve to filter out the seeds, leaving you with a bowl of bright red liquid — this will be the blood. Let it cool to room temperature before covering and placing in the fridge. It’ll keep until you need it again. The amount of lemon and sugar in the coulis isn’t a set amount; add to your taste. Speaking of icing, I used whipped buttercream, but whatever you prefer will do. If you’d like to color any part of your cake, the icing would be the best choice. Adding color to the ganache is risky, as it can cause the chocolate to seize — especially if the coloring is water-based. With icing, however, you can go to town with however much of whatever food coloring you like. I used purple and blue to make a ghoulish, greyish purple. Once the icing is prepared, you can start to assemble the cake. Cut each sheet in half to make four 7.5 x 4.5’’ cakes. Trim off the domed tops to make the cakes easily stackable. Put a layer of icing between each cake; on the third layer, cut a shallow well into the top and surround it with a piped dam of icing. Pour the raspberry coulis into the indentation and top it with the fourth cake — the idea is to make a pocket that will keep the coulis from seeping into the cake but still allow it to leak out when cut. Then frost the whole thing. Don’t worry if your frosting is a bit patchy; take it from me, it’s harder than it looks to get a smooth bakery finish. And anyway, it’s Hallow-
een; it should look spooky and decrepit, like a proper tombstone. Finally, the most delicate part: the ganache on top. Regular chocolate ganache is made with a 2:1 ratio of chocolate to cream, but since white chocolate isn’t technically chocolate (shocking, I know), it has a different composition and you’ll need a ratio of 3:1. Heat the heavy cream in a saucepan until it starts to bubble, stirring constantly — cream scalds easily. Then pour it over the white chocolate chips in a separate bowl. Let it sit for a minute or two, then stir until all the chocolate has melted. Now, ganache is tricky, and if you’re new to it, there is a relatively high chance that it might split, which just means that the fat in the chocolate will separate and you’ll be left with an oily mess. If your ganache splits (as mine did) do not despair (as I did). It can be saved! Simply heat up some more of the cream and add it in a splash at a time until the ganache becomes creamy and smooth. Pour the ganache on top of the frosted cake, gently pushing it over the edge in places where you would like the drips to be; let gravity do most of the work here. This is a good opportunity to cover up problem spots in the icing.
PHOTO EDITOR JUGAL JAIN
When the ganache sets, your cake is ready to be cut. Unfortunately, my vanilla cake absorbed most of the coulis, so the blood did not ooze as I had hoped. If I were to do it again, I would probably add a thin layer of buttercream between the cake and the coulis to prevent this. Either way, the acidic raspberry contrasts with the sweetness of everything else quite nicely. This cake may look on the small side, but with four layers, it’s enough to feed a crowd. Serve it up at this year’s monster mash; in my experience, it’s a graveyard smash.
Baked pasta with pumpkin, mushrooms, kale For a go-to fall dish to pull from the oven in front of salivating friends and family, try this vegetarian baked pasta with roasted pumpkin, mushrooms and kale. 1 box pasta, rigatoni or penne work well 1 small pie pumpkin 2 cups of mushrooms, try baby bellas or shitake 1 bunch of kale 1 cup of heavy cream Several sprigs of Fresh Thyme Block of parmesan cheese Salt Black pepper The first step here is the most difficult. Cut the stem off your pumpkin and then slice it in half down the middle. Use a vegetable peeler to carefully re-
move the skin from the pumpkin — this is difficult work, take your time and try to keep a steady hand. Scoop out the insides of the pumpkin, and cut the remaining flesh into quarter-inch cubes. Quarter the mushrooms and toss them with the pumpkin cubes in olive oil, salt and thyme. Roast in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes at 375 degrees or until the pumpkin is tender. While the pumpkin is in the oven, boil your pasta in salted water. Take the pasta off the heat and drain it three minutes before it would usually be done — it’ll finish cooking in the oven in a moment. Clean and then roughly chop at least half the bunch of kale. When the vegetables are done roasting and the pasta is drained, combine both in a deep baking pan with the kale. The cheap disposable tins available at Kroger work well for this. Dump in the cream and toss everything with lots of salt, pepper
and more thyme. Grate as much parmesan cheese as you like on top. Bake uncovered at 375 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes. Remove and serve alongside some spooky cocktails for a positively autumnal meal.
PHOTO EDITOR JUGAL JAIN
SECURE YOUR HOME FOR JR/SR YEAR
Our homes are renting now for 2020-21, and there are still a few homes left for 2019-20! All homes are next to campus and uptown. Gather your group today and go to www.schmatesrentals.com. Don’t be stuck in an apt. JR/SR year. Call or text 847-274-6600 or 513-505-4918
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TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
Gals go ghost hunting
WILSON HALL, A FORMER MENTAL ASYLUM, IS NOW RUMORED TO HOST GHOSTS OF FORMER PATIENTS. PHOTO EDITOR JUGAL JAIN
ANNA MINTON STAFF WRITER
“Wait, are we going ghost hunting or goat hunting?” Six very tired and very excited girls sat in a cramped Minnich Hall dorm room. Crushed cans and fake eyelashes littered the floor, and the topic of where to find any supernatural beings on campus was halted by the idea of hunting for goats. “What if we do see a goat though,” continued sophomore Emily Pawlecki. “Do we have to report it or something?” Eventually, it was resolved that they should let all the goats roam free, and the topic switched back to hunting for ghosts instead. All six us of had decided to embrace our halloween spirit by trying to create our own horror movie experience. Three locations were chosen: an old asylum, a torn down residence hall, and an intersection 10 minutes from campus. Out of us all, sophomore Tara Fawcett was the most hesitant to see the paranormal. She was going to turn 20 at midnight, and did not plan on ringing in her second decade by getting possessed by a ghost. “It’s ok, I’m an ordained minister, I’ll just make some holy water,” Emily said, and proceeded to baptise the La Croix in Tara’s hand. Granted, Emily was ordained online, so the group decided she only counted as half a minister. She blessed the sparkling water twice just to be safe.
Meanwhile, Amanda Parmo, Tara’s roommate, was busy reading “How to Summon Ghosts” on WikiHow. The first place the group ventured to was Farmer School of Business, which stands on the former sight of Reid Hall. According to the official “Love and Horror” page on Miami’s website, RA Roger Sayles was shot and killed there after trying to break up a student fight in 1959. Legend says as he was dying he left 2 bloody handprints that stained the front door until the building was demolished in 2008. This made sense to me since every time I’ve seen someone leave from a business class, they look like they’ve had the life sucked out of their eyes. It wouldn’t surprise me if this was all due to the lingering spirit of an RA. The story was chilling enough to convince sophomore Jordan Vest to also request a can of holy La Croix, but the tale didn’t translate well into reality. Even late at night, the building was still lit up with anxious students furiously finishing projects. “I am here until 2 a.m. every morning,” Tara claimed. “If there was a ghost here, I would know.” Emily’s roommate, sophomore Hannah Anderson, suggested that they try to get to the roof of the building instead. “What if we got struck by lightning and one of us died,” Hannah said. “Then that person can haunt Farmer, and we can say that we
saw a ghost.” With that comment, we promptly left and went to the next location. Next on our list was Wilson Hall, the former location of the Oxford Retreat Mental Sanatorium. Nothing more really needed to be said about this location — it was abandoned, and previously housed a lot of questionable characters. Immediately, Amanda noticed something was wrong. “Why the hell are the lights on, you guys?” she asked. “If it’s abandoned, why would there be lights on?” “Maybe to scare away the druggies?” Hannah asked while throwing sticks at the windows. All of a sudden, everyone was running back to the car. No one knew who did it, but one of the girls shouted for everyone to run. No one would fess up to it, and Emily claimed that it was the ghost. “Next time we run, we have to zig zag, so he can’t grab us,” she said. “We have to keep him on his toes.” “Do ghosts even have toes?” Jordan asked her. This prompted another tangent on the anatomy of ghosts. Final verdict: they do have toes, but no use for them as they are still ghosts. Eventually, our group of makeshift ghostbusters piled into Amanda’s “mom van” and headed to the intersection of Oxford-Millford Road and Earhart Road. According to Miami’s website, the legend goes one of two ways. Some say a man
was speeding on his motorcycle on the way to propose to his girlfriend when he crashed at the intersection and died. Another says he was speeding to save his girlfriend from a serial rapist. Regardless of which you believe, both origins end in the same present day paranormal encounter. If you blink your headlights three times, you’ll see the phantom motorcycle’s headlight coming for you. Amanda wasn’t a fan of being possessed by an angry motorcyclist, so Jordan decided to drive. Things were going smoothly, until the fog started to set in. “Oh no. No, no, no. I’ve seen every horror movie ever made, I’m not about this,” Emily shouted while scrolling through her phone. “I’m going to need some Ariana Grande right now.” Meanwhile, in the backseat, Amanda was lying on top of the other girls, trying to create a “cuddle train.” “If we roll down the window, will we let the ghost in?” Hannah asked. “Do it, we ain’t no bitches,” I responded. “That is incorrect,” Emily said. “I am very much a little bitch.” Jordan agreed with her. The closer the group got to the haunted intersection, the worse the fog became. Soon, it was nearly impossible to see without the car’s brights on. Jordan picked this time to inform everyone of some crucial information. “By the way, I’m legally blind at night you guys,” she said, causing Tara to spit out some of her holy La Croix. “So if I do get possessed by a ghost, it won’t really change anything, since there is a 75 percent chance that I will crash the car anyways.” After a short pause, Emily shouted at the top of her lungs what everyone was thinking: “For the love of all that is not a ghost, you turn around in a ditch and get home right now.” As the mom van made its way back to campus at a dangerously high speed, the fog began to clear. The stars were visible in the sky, and the whole entire world was quiet. That is, until Amanda saw what time it was. “Tara, it’s 1:17! Happy birthday!” email@example.com
Sunflower Festival offers fall fun despite an early bloom KEVIN VESTAL STAFF WRITER
What is a sunflower festival without any sunflowers? Apparently, still a good deal of fall fun. September’s heat and heavy rain forced the sunflowers at Gorman Heritage Farm to bloom three weeks earlier than anticipated. By October, their leaves had withered and heads had drooped. Nevertheless, the Sunflower Festival continued as planned during the weekend of Oct. 6, complete with food trucks, folk music and farm animals. Established in 1835 by Scottish immigrant Edward Brown, the farm is located in Evendale, roughly a 40 minute drive from Oxford. Now, under the management of the Gorman Heritage Farm Foundation, the property houses gardens, hiking trails and year-round educational programs on farming practices and healthy land use. Stationed near the farm’s entrance, the festival’s food trucks offered everything from pizza and franks to Thai food and fruit smoothies. Those looking for more food options could opt instead for the tent-village of vendors, where gourmet granola was sold directly across from miniature doughnuts. New this year to the festival was the MadTree Beer Garden, allowing visitors to sample and enjoy drinks from the Cincinnati brewery. Food wasn’t all the festival had to offer. Other vendors sold paintings, homemade hats, or tea towels and ceramic bowls emblazoned with bees, bats, dragonflies and foxes. “She likes to include local species
in her art,” said Mark Hamerstadt of his girlfriend and local artist Linnea Campbell. “They’re what you might see on the side of the road.” Under a nearby shelter, visitors could stop and listen to a variety of artists, including Katie Pritchard, Ceol Mohr and the Pine Ridge Partners, the latter of whom serenaded the crowd with familiar songs like “Skip to My Lou.” The festival’s younger crowd was more interested in hayrides. Kids lined up in the shade with their chaperones, eager to temporarily trade their strollers for a ride on the straw-filled wagon. While some children sat patiently to get their face painted, others arrived already dressed as a purple bat or a princess with a tiara, perhaps piloting costumes for Halloween. At the top of a hill was a barnyard petting zoo, although children also stopped along the way to wave arms through fences in the hopes of feeling the wool of a curious sheep or goat. When a little girl ambled past a wandering chicken to pet a miniature horse, one volunteer was happy to introduce her to Shorty. “He smells your sunscreen,” the volunteer said as the girl reached over noisy nostrils for Shorty’s blond mane. Another popular animal was Eddie, a 170-pound zebu with gray fur, tiny horns and a hump that left onlookers wondering what in the world they were petting. “I’ve heard horse and goat,” said Tiffany Johnson, Eddie’s human companion. “Camel was my favorite, but he is a miniature cow.” Johnson asked the group not to
crowd Eddie when they pet him, as he was still learning how to stay calm around people. Johnson then explained that she needed to hold Eddie’s head at all times, meaning that she’d also have to appear in any pictures taken with the zebu. Behind the barnyard was a waisthigh maze of wilted sunflowers. At its center stood a tent adorned with flower heads that hung like mobiles around its edge. Here, visitors could borrow shears to cut droopy flowers of their choosing at three for a dollar. One of the tent’s volunteers explained how wet weather conditions had affected the flowers’ bloom, but that the heads could still be used for birdseed. Over and
over, he recounted how a healthy, yellow flower — a diamond in the field — had been found the day before. Sunday morning’s crowd, however, was not as lucky. Still, yellow sunflower petals made fleeting appearances around the farm grounds, found in vendors’ designs and braided into some of the horses’ hair. Sassy and Star, two miniature horses with flowers in their manes and tails, proved true to their names. All eyes were on their yellow accents when the horses and their handlers paced the yard, allowing children and parents alike to admire their beautiful braids. firstname.lastname@example.org
Outside the box, inside the Art Museum REBECCA WOLFF
THE MIAMI STUDENT
As the Miami Art Museum plans for their student exhibition in January, artists across campus are creating pieces to submit for a chance to have their work showcased. Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines “think outside the box” as: “to explore ideas that are creative and unusual and that are not limited or controlled by rules or tradition.” This is exactly what the Miami Art Museum is looking for from students as they select the pieces that will be showcased in their exhibition next semester. Inside the museum, whitewalls are illuminated by sun beams and carefully placed lighting. The glossy wood floor looks almost wet as it bounces the light off its surface. Although the different gallery rooms are separated by short hallways, the spaces still feel connected. The gallery in the back is reserved for the permanent installations, featuring art from all over the world and from famous artists such as Andy Warhol. For the upcoming showcase, art majors are not the only students who can be featured. “Some of them are practicing artists, no matter what their major, and they just have always dabbled in it,” said Sherri Krazl, coordinator of marketing and communications for the Miami Art Museum. The exhibit is not only for classical style paintings. It’s a mixed-media showcase, and the museum is accepting writing, drawing, film, graphic design, sculpture, music and just about everything else under the sun. “It could be a fun time to experiment with that,” said Krazl. “Whether you never do it again in your life, or whether it launches you into wanting to put exhibition proposals together and submit them to galleries. Why not?” If students are having trouble feeling motivated, it may help to know that all artists are eligible to receive a cash prize. Those who visit the exhibition can vote for their favorite works, and the top three highest voted artists will receive cash prizes: $500 for first, $250 for second and $100 for third. The deadline to submit is Oct. 15, and artists will know if their submission was selected no later than Oct. 28. “Those who procrastinate — we’re getting down to the wire, and you could create something super awesome a day before the deadline and get it submitted,” said Krazl. Artists will also have time to get work framed and add finishing touches after the deadline once their work has been selected. “I think college is a time when you can say, ‘Hey, I want to see what it would be like to have my work on display in a gallery,’” added Krazl, smiling with excitement about the students’ work from behind her turquoise speckled glasses. For questions about submissions, all the guidelines and dates are available online at MiamiOH.edu/Art-Museum. The exhibition will open and artwork will be voted on starting Jan. 29. email@example.com
A FEW OF THE REMAINING SUNFLOWER BLOOMS SURVIVED THROUGH THE FESTIVAL THE MIAMI STUDENT KEVIN VESTAL
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
Rocky Balboa, the Cold War and Miami LYLE RODDEY
THE MIAMI STUDENT
He was born in 1972, but the 1980s are the decade Stephen M. Norris remembers best. Like many adults who reminisce over their past, Norris did not fail to mention some of his favorite cultural experiences. He recalls his enthusiasm for Rocky Balboa and Stars Wars. He had a happy childhood. He talks about his family and his parents’ support of his education. He reminisces over memories playing soccer as a central midfielder, transitioning to the essential striker position when necessary. He remembers the skills he learned as a boy scout, and how he earned his Eagle Scout. But there’s one topic he focuses on, a pervasive issue that dominated much of American life during this time period: The Cold War. “It was just another part of being a child of the eighties,” Norris said. He could have succumbed to the commanding fear of Red that blinded many Americans.
He could have focused on soccer, not allowing the mounting political tensions to have an impact on his life. But, for Norris, his childhood is where his passion for Russian history began. “It is just what I found interesting,” he said. His curiosity about Russian history carried into his college experience. When Norris was a sophomore at Millikin University in Illinois, he took his first class on the Cold War. This class is why he — unlike many Americans — remembers the collapse of the Soviet Union more personally. That winter, he took his final exam in the class, and a few weeks later, he went to Russia. “It was about a week or so after the fall of the Soviet Union. I was only nineteen.” He talks about his visit to St. Petersburg and Moscow. He speaks of his discussions with Russians about life in the Soviet Union. He remembers them saying how they were now able to express the truth of their country with their western counterparts, where before they
had been forced to watch what they said. “I remember them speaking of a life of freedom and a life without being watched.” After his visit, he graduated from Millikin University with a Bachelor of Art in History. In 2002, he earned his Ph.D. in History from the University of Virginia and, shortly after, he received an unique position at Miami University. Filling the second-ever faculty position created, he became a professor of history and was offered a role at The Havighurst Center for Russian and Post-Soviet Studies. “It means...I also got to help create and take part in the activities and events sponsored by the Center.” Norris is still a professor of history at Miami, teaching classes about Eastern Europe and the Cold War, and has written articles and books analyzing the events that fall under the broad topic of Russian history. There is no denying he is accomplished. Yet, he still roots for Rocky Balboa in his battle against Apollo
Oxford Rocks: A community-wide game ALISON PERELMAN
Creed. His love for soccer has transformed into a devotion for Arsenal Football Club. He has two boys, and is their boy scout troop leader. And — like his own parents — he emphasizes the importance of education to his kids.
Empowering elderly artists GRACE KILLIAN
THE MIAMI STUDENT
“They just call me the rock lady.” That’s how Cristin Grenier is known by the Oxford community. She’s a mother of three, wife to a Miami professor and a student herself — but most know her as the rock lady. When Cristin was visiting her hometown near Champaign, Illinois in May of last year, her sister suggested they take the kids to find rocks that people painted and hid around town. Cristin assumed someone in Oxford was doing the same, but soon discovered nobody was. So she took it upon herself to start the never-ending game. Cristin started the Oxford Rocks Facebook group that summer. The page is used for participants to post photos of the rocks they’ve found and clues about where they are hidden. Some people choose to keep the rocks, while others have fun hiding them again. The phenomena has grown — businesses in town started donating gift cards and other items to give away as prizes. Cristin does a weekly scavenger hunt where she hides a rock, gives clues on the page and the first person to find it, posting a photo as proof, wins the prize. There have been no complaints from businesses, since they get exposure from people coming to find rocks. You’re Fired even hosted a rock painting event. There have also been booths at Uptown events where kids can stop by to paint a rock, and Cristin has invited people over to her own house to do so. “It’s been a great way to meet a lot of people,” Cristin said. She buys the rocks in bulk from Walmart — a 30-pound box for 10 dollars. The best kind for painting are River Stones, but she also gets people who vacation up in Michigan bringing back ones from the beach.
Many of the artists in Woodland Country Manor, a nursing home off of Somerville Road, know that 3:00 p.m. on Sundays is art time, and will come out of their rooms on their own. Others, however, need a reminder from their partner. I was given a room number and a partner named Corolla. I walked down the hall and knocked on the half open door of room 305. “Hey Corolla, I’m here to see if you wanna come join in the art project,” I said. I waited for a response, remembering how sometimes the silence goes on for an awkward length of time, but to always be patient. “That’s what I’m sitting here trying to decide,” she eventually responded. Opening Minds through Art (OMA) is an art program with an important mission, working to build a connection between people with various forms of dementia and Miami students. OMA was founded at the Scripps Gerontology Center at Miami University in 2007. Since then, it has grown tremendously, and the program has been implemented in seven locations in the Cincinnati area. The program focuses on “people-centered” ethics in order to cater to the artists and give them back a sense of self. OMA sends students that have completed training in how to properly guide elderly artists to complete art projects without hindering their independence. The projects are designed to be failure free and give full creative decisions to the artist. I showed Corolla a picture of the project we were going to be doing, asking if she liked it and wanted to make her own. She hesitated before agreeing to come participate. I pushed her chair down the hall toward the tables where we were set up. She sat across from Stanley, a fellow artist, and I was across from Olivia George, another volunteer. The work done by the volunteers in OMA is important for both the artists and the students. The artist is given a sense of independence through their work. They also get to interact with people other than nurses and family members. As we got supplies, Corolla was enthralled listening to Stanley talk about where he was from in Ohio and how he was drafted into the war during his senior year of high school. He shared some memories of girls he dated
A STRAWBERRY ROCK PAINTED BY A WOODLAND COUNTRY MANOR RESIDENT. CONTRIBUTED BY SETH THACKER
“I have people just drop buckets of rocks off at my house.” She and her kids find ideas on Pinterest. Sometimes her kids like a design so much they won’t let that rock be hidden. Cristin’s husband, an accounting professor in the Farmer School of Business, has rocks all over his office. The kids are used to stopping and being told to hop out of the car to hide a rock. “Oh, I always have them in my car,” Cristin said. The placement of rocks for the scavenger hunts takes more planning, though. Cristin likes to use historical or highly-trafficked spots around campus because they lend themselves to good clues. She stumped people once — no one could decode the clue she gave for the Lottie Moon house — and only one rock, though gone from its hiding place, was never claimed. “You find them anywhere,” Cristin said. Uptown, Oxford Community Park and the walking trails are favorite spots, but they could truly be anywhere. “If I go to the grocery store, I’ll leave them in with the apples,” Cristin admitted. Oxford rocks, with their loca-
tion marked on the back, have made their way even further. Cristin’s kids took some on their vacation to Disney, leaving one on the ferry. Others have been found in places as far as New York and Italy. And rocks from other locations have been found here. Cristin knows that Miami students will take them, and then bring others from their hometown. “Go everywhere,” she encourages. Cristin and another mom are working to put together a rock park — a place for rocks with inspirational quotes or words to make sentences that can be educational. She wants it at the corner of Locust and Contreras where there’s a small park with no more than a few benches and foliage. “I think it’d be nice to put it somewhere where there’s not a lot going on otherwise.” She’s also thinking of painting and hiding mini pumpkins instead to fit the season. But there will always be plenty of rocks hidden around town. “You just have to keep your eyes peeled,” Cristin whispered like it was a secret. firstname.lastname@example.org
PHOTO EDITOR JUGAL JAIN
AN OWL ROCK PAINTED BY A WOODLAND COUNTRY MANOR RESIDENT. CONTRIBUTED BY SETH THACKER
Norris has carefully built a bridge between the sense of wonder from his childhood and his passion for Russian history that would eventually become his career.
and laughed remembering how he dated a woman from Japan even though they barely understood each other. Corolla picked between two plates of paint, pink and red or two shades of blue, and went with the latter. She picked a leaf stamp and asked me to put the paint on it for her. She had a little difficulty stamping the paper, but she picked the spot she wanted it, so I helped to make sure the stamp was pressed hard enough. Lifting it up, Corolla was very happy with the beautiful leaf left behind. “Look at that!” she said, holding up the paper to look at it closer. She wanted to leave the single leaf alone, but the project was designed to layer the shapes and create new ones. “Let’s stamp another one. We have to layer the leaves. It’s like fall!” I reminded her. After making a few more stamps, Corolla decided she had enough leaves on the paper. The goal is for the artist to complete the project with slight guidance and helpful reminders from the student. In doing so, the artist is seen as more than their disease and can express themselves in ways they might not otherwise be able to. The artists are also encouraged to name their pieces, allowing them to identify what they see in their art and giving them something to be proud of. Corolla added some yellow watercolor. She sat examining the handle and print on the paintbrush before filling in the leaves. She was focused on her work, silently sitting and painting. OMA not only aims to improve the artist’s day, but teaches students that the artists are more than their disease; they’re people too. It’s very easy to diminish the lives of elderly artists, referring to them as cute or talking to them in simple ways — the way one talks to a baby or a dog. However, OMA teaches that by avoiding this, we give a sense of personhood back to the artists. We treat them like we would treat anyone else, but just have to be patient for that person to shine through. The session ends with a song: “This Little Light of Mine.” As we sang, Corolla continued to slowly paint. Eventually, she decided her work was complete. “It’s not my favorite one,” she told me. But, as we sat there, she held up her art and continued to admire it until it was time to take her back to her room. email@example.com
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
RedHawks’ dominant win over Alabama-Huntsville bodes well for the future
EMILY SIMANSKIS SPORTS EDITOR
For the first time in five years, Miami hockey opened its season with a sweep. It came in dominant fashion over the University of Alabama-Huntsville via a 5-1 Saturday night win and a 4-0 Sunday afternoon victory. The RedHawks showed marked improvement in all three zones and couldn’t have started off the 201819 season any better, especially after finishing 14-20-5 last season (6-14-4 National Collegiate Hockey Conference). “I think with everything that’s happened, I thought it was important for our guys to go out there and play well,” Miami’s head coach Enrico Blasi said. “For the most part, I think they did that, led by our seniors, and everybody else followed suit.” Over the course of the weekend, it was impossible to tell the difference between the RedHawks’ four seniors and everybody else. Senior co-captain Grant Hutton finished the weekend with three points (1 goal, 2 assists). The defenseman was joined by junior forward Karch Bachman (2g, 1a), graduate transfer defenseman River Rymsha (1g, 2a) and freshman forward Brian Hawkinson (3a) at the top of the stats sheet. Fourteen of the 21 RedHawks who played this weekend finished with a point, and no one finished with a negative plus/minus. The explosive offensive production was a bright spot for the ’Hawks, who only averaged 2.78 goals last season. Half of the team’s points last season came from five players, and the strong showing this weekend from both veterans and rookies bodes well for the future success of the program. “What we want, as coaches, is everybody on point because it makes it real tough for us to pick who’s going to play on the weekend,” Blasi said. “The competition for positions, the competition where guys are forcing each other to be better only elevates everybody’s game.” No position will be more contested than the spot of starting goaltender. Graduate transfer Jordan Uhelski stopped 17 of the 18 shots he faced on Saturday. Uhelski’s performance paired with long-
time starting goaltender Ryan Larkin’s shutout on Sunday showed promise for a RedHawk team that finished with 3.46 average goals allowed last year. “Feels like the old days when we had goaltenders that could play – a two-headed monster,” Blasi said. “I think the competition is healthy, including in that position.” In front of the goaltenders, passes were cleaner and communication clearer on Sunday. The Chargers were limited to 11 shots on Sunday after taking 18 on Saturday. And the RedHawks’ put the puck on net 45 times on Sunday, compared to its already impressive 38 shots on Saturday. The day-today improvements were what Miami’s coaching staff hoped to see. “Everything that was supposed to happen, happened in terms of learning to play with each other and stay in the structure and making sure we stay focused in that structure,” Blasi said on Sunday. Disciplined play was a side-effect of the RedHawks’ structure, as they only spent 10 minutes in the penalty box and benefitted from 23 minutes on the power play. The man-advantage went 2-for-11 on
MIAMI HOCKEY OVERWHELMS AN ALABAMA-HUNTSVILLE PLAYER (TOP). FRESHMAN DEFENSEMAN BRAY CROWDER CARRIES THE PUCK THROUGH THE NEUTRAL ZONE DURING A DELAYED PENALTY CALL (BOTTOM). VIDEO EDITOR EMILY BRUSTOSKI
the weekend, while the penalty kill finished 5-for-5. “I thought the power play was good, we had some good chances. A lot better, a lot more deliberate,” Blasi said on Sunday. The NCHC recognized the RedHawks’ all-around success over the
weekend, naming Rymsha NCHC Defenseman of the Week and Larkin NCHC Goaltender of the Week. “It was great,” Rymsha said. “Everyone’s working really hard. Two months, no games, just battling against each other, and having the success that we did, it’s re-
ally exciting and it’s promising for what’s going to come ahead.” Read Saturday and Sunday’s game recaps on www.miamistudent.net/category/sports firstname.lastname@example.org @emilysimanskis
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TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
Football shows resilience, throttles Akron for second win
REDSHIRT SENIOR RUNNING BACK KENNY YOUNG ESCAPES AN AKRON LINEBACKER UNIVERSITY OF AKRON ATHLETICS JEFF HARWELL
CHRIS VINEL STAFF WRITER
Throughout the first five weeks of the 2018 campaign, the Miami RedHawks perplexed fans and analysts alike. Sitting at 1-4 with a rash of injuries and team-wide inconsistency, Miami didn’t look as bad as its record suggested, but its once-promising season was fading quickly. The Hustle Belt wrote, “This is a game that Akron should win fairly easily.” College Football News picked the Zips to win, claiming “it’s going to be a lost year if [Miami] can’t pull off the win over an underappreciated Akron squad.” Brad Koenig disagreed. The redshirt senior linebacker picked off two passes and recovered a fumble in the fourth quarter, allowing the RedHawks (2-4, 2-1 Mid-American) to blow the game wide-open and pick up a 41-17 victory over last season’s MAC East Champions on Saturday. “How many plays can one guy make in one game?” head coach Chuck Martin said about Koenig. “Between rushing the quarterback
and causing turnovers, [he’s a] tremendous football player, tremendously underrated.” Led by Koenig, the entire defense upped its play from the previous weekend’s loss to Western Michigan, when the RedHawks surrendered 40 points. Miami held the Zips to 56 net rushing yards on 28 carries, while only giving up 203 passing yards and one touchdown through the air. The success is even more impressive given Miami played in Akron (2-2, 0-1 MAC) -- the Zips went 5-1 at home in 2017 -- and without three defensive starters. “[It was] a really, really gutsy win,” Martin said. “We bounced back on defense. We gave up seven points the whole game against an explosive, explosive offense. Our offense moved the ball better than all year.” After a scoreless first quarter, the RedHawks took a 7-0 lead on a three-yard touchdown run by redshirt senior running back Alonzo Smith. Miami didn’t wait long to extend its advantage either, forcing an Akron three-and-out, before redshirt
senior quarterback Gus Ragland tossed a seven-yard touchdown to, a now healthy, redshirt senior running back Kenny Young. The RedHawks were playing well and held a 14-0 lead with less than five minutes before halftime. Then, as is wont to happen to Miami in 2018, it all disappeared. Akron stormed back, scoring 17 straight points to take a 17-14 lead early in the third quarter. First, AU sophomore quarterback Kato Nelson found sophomore wideout Nate Stewart for a 17-yard touchdown. Next, Ragland threw an interception the Zips turned into a field goal right before intermission. Finally, Miami fumbled a punt, allowing Akron to scoop it up and run it back for a touchdown. Trailing for the first time in the game, Miami stayed calm. The 17-point Akron comeback was the result of self-inflicted errors rather than being outplayed. The RedHawks fired back on their next drive, capping off a sixplay, 57-yard possession with a Young rushing touchdown to push ahead 21-17. A field goal by junior kicker Sam
Sloman extended Miami’s lead to 24-17. Following Young’s third touchdown of the day, the RedHawks’ defense forced turnovers on four consecutive Akron possessions. The ’Hawks turned the three interceptions and fumble recovery into their final 10 points to secure a 4117 statement win. Miami outgained Akron 422259 in total yardage. Ragland threw for 214 yards with a touchdown and an interception, but the running game propelled the offense. Sparked by Kenny Young’s return from injury, the ’Hawks rushed for 208 yards and four touchdowns on 38 carries. Young had a game-high 78 rushing yards and three total touchdowns. Martin called Young, “one of our best football players.” “Every time he’s on the field, he’s a great football player,” Martin said. “Very rarely does he not make a huge impact on a game. Obviously, he made a huge impact in today’s game and can do so many things.” After catching his first collegiate reception and first two touchdowns against Western Michigan, sophomore wide receiver Dominique Robinson led Miami with five grabs for 77 yards. Nelson was the only Zip to gain any traction on offense, and even he was held in check. He finished with 203 yards and a touchdown
through the air and paced Akron with 30 rushing yards. He threw three interceptions and was sacked three times. Though senior safety De’Andre Montgomery finished with a teamhigh seven tackles, it was Koenig who made the biggest impact for the RedHawks’ defense. Koenig had four tackles (one for loss) to go along with his two picks and one fumble recovery. Despite the tough start to the season, Martin and his team remain confident going forward. “We haven’t given up belief,” Martin said. “Everybody just looks at our record and says, ‘you’re 1-4 and you suck.’ We’re 1-1 in the league and we feel like we should be 2-0. We almost pulled one out a week ago. “Our kids have proven through time they’re resilient, and we’re going to keep pushing. We’re going to keep trying to play good football. When you play good football in this league, you’ve got a chance to win. They’re all winnable, they’re all losable. It doesn’t matter who you play.” Miami returns home to Yager Stadium on Saturday to play Kent State (1-5, 0-2 MAC). The contest is scheduled for 2:30 p.m. and will be broadcast on ESPN+.
RUNNING BACK ALONZO SMITH WITH THE STIFF ARM. MIAMI FOOTBALL JORDAN HERALD
Volleyball triumphs over two MAC opponents BENNETT WISE
THE MIAMI STUDENT
Cheers and jeers rang throughout Millett Hall as the Miami volleyball faithful sat impatiently Friday, watching a nail-biting RedHawks’ victory against Ohio University, before witnessing a dominant 3-0 sweep of Kent State. Friday’s Battle of the Bricks matchup lived up to its name as the RedHawks and the Bobcats (8-11, 3-3 Mid-American) traded sets in a thrilling 3-2 Miami victory (25-22, 21-25, 25-19, 1825, 15-9). Miami freshman outside hitter Gaby Harper led the team with a season-high 22 kills and added 14 digs. Sophomore setter Morgan Seaman and freshman setter Louise Comerford also reached season highs with 32 and 22 assists, respectively. For OU, sophomore setter Vera Giacomazzi had a gamehigh 46 assists. “At practice this week, we really worked on connections, mainly working with our setters,” Harper said. “They put the ball up there for me which really helped get the job done.” The RedHawks never trailed until early in the second set. Both sides traded leads, only gaining a one- or two-point advantage over the other. A 7-1 run by the Bobcats midway through
the set broke the trend. A vicious spike to the heart of the Miami defense by sophomore middle blocker Tia Jimerson gave Ohio its first set and tied the match at 1-1. Miami dropped five straight points to start the fourth set 6-1 in favor of OU. Fans in Millett struggled with the officials’ calls the entire night, and the arena erupted after the RedHawks were called for a double-hit twice in three points. Despite a 12-4 Bobcat lead, Miami’s lineup played the rest of the set locked in and energized. Back-to-back kills by sophomore outside hitter Sarah Wojick electrified the bench and brought the RedHawks within five. Freshman outside hitter Sophie Riemersma’s block inched the RedHawks closer at 21-17, but attacking and service errors led to an eventual 25-18 set victory for Ohio. In the fifth set, the Bobcats got out to an early 4-1 lead on a series of attacking errors by Miami. Battling back, the RedHawks tied the set at seven. OU’s redshirt senior outside hitter Jaime Kosiorek’s kill hit the net and gave Miami a 8-7 lead going into the halfway point. Out of the break, a pair of Harper kills and one by senior outside hitter Stela Kukoc gave
Miami a 12-7 lead. Kosiorek couldn’t contain blocks by Wojick and senior middle hitter Courtney Simons, and a kill by Kukoc handed the match to the Red and White. With contributions from many different players on the roster, head coach Carolyn Condit feeds the hot hand. “I might be trying to find that go-to lineup the entire year, I’m not sure,” Condit said while chuckling. “If someone is starting to diminish a little bit in an area we really need them, sometimes it helps to get someone in the game that has that part of their game shining.” Saturday, the roster trend continued as the RedHawks flashed by Kent State (8-12, 1-5 MAC) in a decisive 3-0 sweep (25-18, 25-21, 25-21). Miami hit .290, its best percentage in Mid-American Conference play this season. Riemersma had a match high 12 kills, and was the only person on either side of the net to reach double-digit kills. Junior libero Lindsay Dauch and Kukoc contributed 10 digs each. With the weekend sweep, the RedHawks sit tied atop the MAC standings with a record of 5-1 (13-5 overall record). “We’re definitely the underdogs,” Harper said. “We just use that energy and identity
THE REDHAWKS CELEBRATE WINNNG A POINT. THE MIAMI STUDENT MACY WHITAKER
that [MAC opponents] gave us. We want to come out and show them that we may be young, but we can take over the conference.” The RedHawks head to Ypsilanti to take on Eastern Michigan University on Friday and
then to Mount Pleasant to play the Chippewas of Central Michigan University on Saturday. Friday’s match-up with the Eagles begins at 7 p.m. and can be found on ESPN+. email@example.com
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2018
Title IX changes will only increase potential trauma The following reflects the majority opinion of the editorial board. Imagine that you’re sitting in the basement of Warfield Hall, two months after you’ve initially reported your sexual assault, waiting for your Title IX hearing to be held. Two months of investigation, of speaking to old men about being sexually assaulted. Your friends have had to talk about it, the accused has had to talk about it, their friends have talked about it. Your story has been told over and over again. According to Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), you’re more anxious and more depressed. You may even show signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Even looking at the person you’ve accused makes you nauseous — you’re triggered by the mere sight of them. By Miami rules, you haven’t been able to speak to this person, not that you’d even want to. Lawyers are expensive, and Title IX doesn’t guarantee you one, so your representative is a family friend helping you out, that is if you’re lucky enough to have one. They can’t talk to you during the hearing, so you pass notes back and forth. You don’t want to be there. The person you accused doesn’t want to be there. But now you have to cross-examine each other and you wish you’d never even reported it in the first place. These changes are due to a ruling by the Sixth Circuit federal court on a University of Michigan case, which has changed the Title IX policy in Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky
and Tennessee to allow the accused and accusers in TItle IX cases to cross-examine each other. The purpose of this is to allow a fairer process throughout the hearings and give the accused the chance to defend themselves. However, it also opens the doors to increased trauma in a pseudo-courtroom where tensions are already running high. The accuser has subjected themselves to intense questioning. They have been forced to relive one of the worst possible moments of their lives and opened themselves up to potential ridicule and backlash from the community. Now, the accused is in the position to question them in order to prove their innocence and save their reputation. Both sides are angry. Neither have any kind of legal expertise. An average college student doesn’t know what questions to ask or how to answer questions in a way that is helpful to their cause. Even as we discussed this topic amongst ourselves, we found that there was a lot of confusion and misinformation around the entire process after you report a sexual assault. The idea of the accused student questioning their accuser is intimidating and dangerous, because neither has the experience to properly handle this situation. This is why the two sides speak through a third party in a court of law. If the entire Title IX process is going to move closer to the standards of criminal trials, it can’t be in half mea-
The disappearing sandwich shop
sures. The idea of being able to defend yourself is great. It protects those who have been falsely accused. If the new policy is going to try to ensure this protection, it also needs to ensure other protections that come with criminal trials, such as the right to a lawyer. The percentages of accusations that are fake, though, is about two to 10 percent, according to a 2010 study. So the percentage of people being protected is small. However, this isn’t a criminal trial. These cases take place at the university level, and many universities don’t have the resources to assign lawyers to students. While this policy change presents itself as making the entire process more just, what it really does is increase the potential for trauma and decrease the potential for the reporting of sexual assault. No one is going to be encouraged to report their assault if they know they will be questioned by their alleged assaulter. Miami University says it stands with its victims. President Crawford said this in his email last week. But if Miami truly stands with its victims, then it will stand up against this policy change. The University of Michigan has appealed the decision. Miami’s General Counsel’s Office may not have the finances to do that and it might not be effective at all even if we did. However, Miami standing against something that will most likely put victims through even more trauma than they’ve already been through goes a long way in proving they stand with victims.
LET PEOPLE LIKE THINGS HALEY MILLER
THE MIAMI STUDENT
ILLUSTRATION: CONNOR WELLS
EMILY DATTILO COLUMNIST
Good morning, Miami. It’s time for a short story. Once upon a time, in a not so far away place, a slice of happiness stood on Maple Street. The go-to stop for lunch and dinner, promising a variety of breads, cheeses, vegetables and sauces, available everyday. Students lined up for make-yourown sandwiches and an array of chips and drinks. Customers filled the inside tables in the winter and spilled out onto the sidewalk when the sunshine returned. The prices were fair, the service efficient and the food delicious. There’s no happily ever after to this story, however, because this haven of happiness — better known as the sandwich shop Delish — has vanished. The beginning of a new school year always brings new changes, like Minnich and Scott Hall opening after months of renovation. Those changes make sense. Others just don’t. I sighed when Starbucks moved to North Quad. It’s a bit of a hike now, but we know the most dedicated customers will power through for that pumpkin spice latte. For those less dedicated,
maybe the relocation is helpful. Being able to use declining balance for Starbucks is, plainly put, dangerous. But sandwiches... guys come on. We need club sandwiches a lot more than we need iced mochas, yet the Starbucks is still on campus. I’m not saying people don’t do this (most of us probably do from time to time), but a vanilla latte doesn’t fit the definition of a meal. Trust me, I checked. Delish’s replacement is Maple Dining Hall (the expanded version). I expected some pretty major changes, something to justify the removal of three other small restaurants including Delish, and I couldn’t seem to find much. Sure, there’s more chairs and arguably more of the same type of food, but that’s not earth-shattering. Sometimes it feels like when Delish disappeared, all the sandwiches on campus skipped town. I’ve heard Western has sandwiches during lunch, sometimes. It’s baffling to me how steaming slices of pizza glint under the cases at every dining hall, yet finding a sandwich with lettuce, tomato or mayonnaise proves an impossible task. One of my friends asked where the Maple panini press traveled to, and the answer was “it’s in the basement.” Myself and a large group of students are wondering why. If cost is an issue, then why not
charge students a meal swipe at locations currently using declining balance, considering it costs around $12 a swipe at dining halls anway? The healthier food argument doesn’t really present an issue either. Buffalo chicken pizza with ranch dressing drizzled on top definitely has more calories than a turkey sandwich. Plus, healthy options means including meal options that the majority of the population will want to eat. We’re talking sandwiches and wraps, well-liked items, not quinoa or bran muffins that only a select group appreciate. Though we could mourn the loss, after a while I realized that until Delish returns (if it does), we’ve got to work with what we’ve got. But sometimes, we’ve got to implement some serious creativity to make the available food appetizing. In the dining hall world of heavily salted food, chalky vegan chocolate cake and lots of pizza slices, this can prove challenging. I want Miami to return our beloved Delish. It can be relocated to Armstrong or where McCracken Market used to be, two of the most central locations on campus, and all of Oxford will be a little happier than it was before. There’s no happy ending to this story until it returns. So for now, the end. firstname.lastname@example.org
In a few short weeks, Americans will be casting their votes in the 2018 midterm elections. Yet the most divisive issue in our country this fall is not our politics, but our coffee. The return of Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) and its copycats continues to be a seasonal lightning rod, pitting brother against brother and sister against sister. I believe the PSL hate is representative of a larger problem in our culture and in the spirit of autumnal unity, I would like to offer a solution. Let people enjoy the things they like. To my knowledge, Starbucks has never forced anyone to consume a Pumpkin Spice Latte against their will. Based on some reactions to the mere mention of “Pumpkin Spice,” you would think that Howard Schultz himself is waterboarding people with Pumpkin Spice Lattes on his national book tour. Fortunately, that is not the case. If you don’t like the drink, all you have to do is not drink it! The attack on Pumpkin Spice is just one of the culture wars currently ravaging the national discourse. Astrology, the Oxford comma, IPAs, crunchy peanut butter, Bloody Marys and many other ideas and products inspire similar reactions. This is due to tribalism which tells us we must pick a side and defend it, even in debates that aren’t very important. Social media tells us we must perform this tribal identity over and over and over, even though no one asked for our opinions. Make sure to mention that you LOVE Oxford commas in your Twitter bios, so fellow nerds know you’re one of them. If a friend brings a six-pack of IPAs to a party, let them know immediately that you think they taste like urine. Feel strongly about the type of peanut butter people eat. Call Bloody Marys “Alcoholic Marinara Sauce” or “Spiked V8 Juice.” Conversely, call people who
don’t like Bloody Marys “babies,” “uncultured swine,” “toddlers with underdeveloped palates.” It doesn’t have to be this way. We possess an oft-forgotten power, and it is called Minding Your Own Business and/or Beeswax. I first unlocked this power roughly five years ago when I found myself in the middle of an argument about which drugstore is better — CVS or Walgreens. While my friends were name-calling and debating the merits of store flow and receipt length, I then noticed I didn’t have an opinion on which store was superior, and I didn’t need one. There are millions of worthwhile causes and pursuits to feel strongly about in this world. However, the grammatical choices and brand loyalties of others are not. Give pumpkin spice lovers the space to sip their drinks in peace. Listen to amateur astrologers incorrectly guess your zodiac sign with mild bemusement. Walk past the creamy peanut butter in the grocery store, order a flight that doesn’t include an IPA. People can shove whatever products they want in their pie-holes, and usually, you don’t have to be involved! “Letting people enjoy things” goes beyond food products or ideas. It extends to all of social media. Think a movie looks stupid? You don’t have to see it. Think The Office is overrated? Unless someone asks you specifically for your opinion on the NBC mockumentary, you don’t have to comment on it. Hate a new song? As a follow-up, are you a critic for Rolling Stone? If you’re not, let it be! I believe we are sufficiently divided in most areas of American life. So let’s give each other a break. May this fall initiate a new era of freedom in our pop culture. May we wear our Uggs and drink our coffee without the fear of being called basic. May we root for our favorite new shows, our picks for Best Picture and our football teams without losing friends. Let’s reserve judgment and let’s enjoy things, unapologetically and enthusiastically. email@example.com
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