April 1, 2014 | The Miami Student

tnedutS imaiM ehT Who cares, no one reads this anyway

TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014

VOLUME 141 NO. 42

MIAMI UNIVERSITY OXFORD, OHIO

TODAY IN MIAMI HISTORY In 2014, The Miami Student reported that in 2014, Associated Student Government (ASG) voted to relocate the main campus of Miami University to Miami, Fla. President David Hodge was the driving force behind the relocation.

POLICE ASG votes to relocate MU

BEAT 32 Range Rover pileup, cracked iPhones total $3 million in damages

In the Sunday afternoon move-in panic, a vehicle traveling south on South Main Street executed a U-turn, which resulted in a 32 Range Rover pileup.

The initial Range Rover was attempting to secure the only available parking space in a twomile radius, authorities said.

“My baby!” Miami junior Ida Hoe screamed as she fell to her knees and ripped out clumps of blonde hair, looking at a scratch on her glossy black 2014 L. L. Bean edition Range Rover.

Initial reports indicate 31 out of the 32 drivers were texting at the time. The remaining driver was sending a Snapchat, which is now in a Butler County circuit court evidence file.

The accident resulted in minor body damage to all 32 Range Rovers and five cracked iPhone 5s screens. The damage is estimated upwards of $3 million.

Verizon telecommunications reported its network temporarily crashed when all 32 drivers simultaneously attempted to call their fathers.

campus to Miami, Florida

BY REIS THEBAULT & EMILY C. TATE FOR THE MIAMI STUDENT

In an emergency meeting last night, Associated Student Government (ASG) met to discuss Senate bill 137.3, a resolution to relocate Miami University’s main campus to Miami, Fla. After hours of deliberation, the bill drew bipartisan support, passing unanimously.

Initially, several ASG members were hesitant about the proposition.

“I was really unsure about it at first, to be honest,” Secretary for Off-Campus Affairs Ari Frum said.

“I just burn really easily and I don’t want to break the bank on all that SPF 75.”

While others on the board voiced similar concerns, President Charlie Schreiber, while wearing sunglasses, explained the logic behind his idea.

He reportedly got the idea from President David Hodge.

“He texted me last night saying he just got back from Clearwater Beach,” Schreiber said. “I guess it reminded him how much he loves Florida and he didn’t want to come back to Oxford.”

The Miami Student was able to obtain a copy of the text message.

APRIL FOOLS’!

“Wassup?! Bro I just got back from Clearwater. Had a legendary SB2K14. Man, I’ve been thinking … we should convince everyone to move the campus to Florida. TBH I thought it was the Miami in Florida when I accepted this job lol.”

After mulling it over for several days and checking Oxford, Ohio weather forecasts, Schreiber agreed.

“Well first of all, I think we can all agree that we didn’t sign up for this Ohio weather,” Schreiber said. “Plus, who doesn’t like sun, palm trees and fresh-squeezed OJ?” These arguments effectively quelled disagreement and all senators rallied around the idea.

According to ASG Secretary for Alumni Affairs Conor Nelson, the idea is already generating much positive feedback from the alumni community, including some of Miami’s most prestigious graduates.

A source close to aspiring presidential candidate Paul Ryan (’92) revealed the congressman’s campaign team has recently shifted its focus from the 2016 election to the relocation of Ryan’s alma mater.

Student response was positive as well.

“Hopefully I’ll have some classes on the beach,” said sophomore Eamonn Walsh. “Then I’ll finally be

ILLUSTRATION BY JAKE BRENNAN PAGE DESIGNER

President David Hodge enjoys long jogs on the beach in Miami, Fla. able to wear my Patagonia Speedo.”

Preparations for the transition will begin at the end of April.

“We foresee the entire relocation process taking approximately two to three years,” Hodge said As the months pass and buildings

are moved to their new campus, students will find themselves without academic buildings and classrooms.

As a result, the university will rent portable campers to house student learning, effective at the start of the 2014-2015 academic school year.

In honor of a Miami Student tradition, the front page of today’s issue is entirely satirical. The rest of the news stories are factually sound, but be on the lookout for other April Fools’ jokes marked by the symbol to the right.

City Council votes OxfordTownship dry New varsity pool sport weaves success in water

BY CHRIS CURME COMMUNITY EDITOR

The Oxford City Council voted Thursday to prohibit the sale and consumption of alcohol in Oxford Township effective May 1. On that date, Oxford will join roughly eight other dry communities in Ohio.

City ordinance number 3252, introduced by Councilman I. M. Bibe, passed overwhelmingly with six yeas, one nay and no abstentions.

Bibe, a Miami University alumnus, had previously been Miami’s liaison to the Oxford City Council and the Oxford Chamber of Commerce.

I honestly don’t know how I’ll be able to make it through class three days a week.”

AL COHALL

ENGLIGH 111 PROFESSOR

“The abundance of alcohol in the township and its ready availability to students is the root cause of almost all crime in the city proper,” Bibe said. “I see most of the city’s grievances toward the university as stemming from alcohol related actions on students’ part.”

Mayor Erin Gobrales was the lone dissenting vote.

“We need to face facts,” Gobrales said. “Alcohol, both its sale and consumption, keep Oxford’s economic environment viable. Whether we like it or not, we have built a town around alcohol sales and activities, and to suddenly remove that element may be disastrous.”

This sentiment was echoed when the floor opened to the public.

“This is a complete rejection of free market principles,” Oxford Liquor Hut manager Devansh Sengupta said. “Who is to tell me I

cannot participate in a business legal in the eye of the federal government?

You are going to destroy this town.

Not only will liquor stores and bars be the first to go—then late-night restaurants, too.”

However, the majority of public comments expressed support of the measure.

“I cannot count the number of times drunken students have upturned my flowerpots or vomited on my front step,” Mile Square resident Anna Septic said. “They are paying large sums of money to earn a degree; I can’t see how destroying their bodies and others’ property is essential to such a venture.”

Septic’s comments were met with applause from the packed courthouse. No Miami students were in attendance, as many were getting intoxicated on spring break last week.

“I just wish a single student had shown to this meeting,” resident Ida Clair said. “Then they might sympathize with the council the slightest bit. But of course, they’re not here.

So screw ‘em!”

This was, again, met with thunderous applause. In a scene that may appear bizarre and hostile to some, a detached observer could see an overarching empathy in the room—a sense of care for a shared community, inundated with “careless interlopers.”

Oxford resident Al E. Gory once lived on Oberlin Court in the Mile Square.

“I was essentially forced out of my house as students moved in around me,” Gory said. “It wasn’t the mere presence of students that was damaging, it was their behavior. It was their constant drunkenness on weekends, the noise and the destruction of our property and peace of mind.”

Among a sea of sympathetic tears, resident after resident waited behind the microphone to tell stories hauntingly similar to Gory’s.

“Ordinance 3253 will unquestionably lead to a reduction in petty

crime,” Oxford Police Department (OPD) Sergeant Erasmus B. Dragon said. “Consequential layoffs are a fair price to pay for a safer city.”

While drunken conduct keeps OPD busy on weekends, Dragon said no officer wishes for more crime just to stay on the job.

Miami President Havid Dodge was careful not to endorse or criticize the City Council’s actions.

“It was a democratic decision made by the city’s leaders,” Dodge said. “There is little I could have done, if I would have wanted to intervene, which I’m not sure I would have, but maybe—I don’t know.

What’s done is done.”

“Wait—what!?” wide-eyed Miami sophomore Anita Drink said.

She sputtered and was speechless.

This will indeed be surprising to most students returning from break, as getting drunk is now irrevocably synonymous with “going Uptown.”

“I wonder if the council considered how this might affect Uptown businesses,” sophomore Lucy Bowels said. “I know it’s not the most healthful activity, but it certainly will really change up the Uptown landscape.”

Indeed, Oxford Spirits has already posted a “Going out of Business,” sign in their window. Various bars up and down High Street have begun advertising “End of an Era” blowout parties.

Who is to say how High Street will look in the coming years? Perhaps it will fill with bookstores or cafes. Now that The Princess is again boarded up, Brick Street may well resume operations as a movie theater.

“If students want to get drunk that badly, they should brew it themselves—like real men,” Oxfordian Rusty O’Dowell said. “I’ve got two moonshine stills out back and one down’a Riley. I’ll be damned if I ever pay for no bottled crap.”

O’Dowell was removed from the chamber in handcuffs at the conclusion of Thursday’s proceedings.

BY JUSTIN MASKULINSKI SENIOR STAFF WRITER

When one hears the word ‘pool,’ instincts often force him or her to associate the word with swimming.

This might not be the case at Miami University anymore.

Tuesday, the Federation of Aquatic Kinetic Entities (FAKE) granted Miami the privilege of being one of 32 schools nationwide to have a NCAA varsity underwater basket weaving team.

Miami will be opening this new era in the aquatics center Nov. 31, and head coach Leif Guard could not be any happier.

“I am so proud of these kids,” Guard said, referring to the 20 weavers he has on board. “They have been weaving so well, and they never stop swimming. We watch the segment of ‘Finding Nemo’ before every practice when Dory repeats, ‘just keep swimming, just keep swimming.’

I think I’m going to get some T-shirts made.”

The sport of underwater basket weaving does not actually involve much swimming, as the object of the game is to see which five-man team can assemble a wicker basket the fastest.

Schools will often submit two to four teams of five in the competition, and the time is not the only form of judgment. The teams are also judged based on four other categories: Presentation, Operation, Ostentatiousness and Professionalism (POOP).

The commissioner of FAKE Arthur Curry described the efficiency of the POOP scale.

“The POOP scale is as close as we can get to flawless judgment,” Curry said. “By having four categories of judgment, we

are able to flush out some of the lower performers.”

Curry also thanked the Miami administration for allowing the addition of underwater basket weaving.

“We had a great time working with [Miami’s] athletic administration,” Curry said. “The first weaving meet is already sold out. The inaugural match will be in Oxford, and it will be up against Navy, which will really show where the RedHawks float in the standings.”

The RedHawks just released their roster, and the 20-man roster has just two seniors on it, Nemo Smith and Johnny Lifevest.

“We have been trying to bring this underrated sport to Miami for three years,” Lifevest said. “It’s so great to see our idea floating to the surface in this great pool of dreams I like to call life.”

The team will also have a high school All-American in the pool starting next fall: Cesto Tessitore.

Tessitore spoke about his decision during the Under Water ® AllAmerican Game three weeks ago.

“I believe that I was born to attend Miami University,” Tessitore said. “During my visit I saw a lot of boat shoes, so I could tell that this campus is serious about aquatic athletics.”

Tessitore chose Miami over 31 other full ride scholarship offers he received.

“I’m looking forward to attending Miami in the fall,” Tessitore said. “The rec center is great, and all of the trees allow for a great wood supply for weaving practice.”

Tessitore was interviewed during the first underwater basket weaving practice last Friday.

“Blub blub blub, glub blub glub,” Tessitore said, before swimming above the water.

2

EDITORS REIS THEBAULT VICTORIA SLATER

CAMPUS

TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014

CAMPUS@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

Miami Plan to change

BY LIBBY MUELLER SENIOR STAFF WRITER

If a proposal is approved by the University Senate in August, Miami students will experience a change in the Global Miami Plan in fall 2015.

University Director of Liberal Education John Tassoni said changes will include a reduction in science requirements from nine to six credit hours and in global perspectives requirements from nine to six hours (which can be fulfilled through a study abroad program), the removal of ENG 112, the establishment of an advanced writing requirement and an intercultural requirement and the implementation of an experiential learning requirement.

I think it will allow students to move through the liberal education program more efficiently.”

JOHN TASSONI

DIRECTOR OF LIBERAL ED.

“The experiential learning requirement means students will have some sort of education experience beyond the classroom,” Tassoni said.

“Most students already do these.

Service learning or study abroad would count.”

The summary of the proposed Miami Plan said internships, independent study, research, experiential capstones, exhibits, recitals and student teaching can also meet this requirement.

According to Tassoni, the new

plan will be better aligned with Liberal Education and America’s Promise national outcomes, which are outlined and assessed using the Valid Assessment of Learning in Undergraduate Education (VALUE) rubric developed by the Association of American Colleges and Universities.

These include civic engagement, ethical reasoning, critical thinking and creative thinking among others.

Tassoni said there were a few reasons for redesigning the Miami Plan.

“One of them was just to see how creative we could be,” Tassoni said.

“It’s been about 25 years since the university had a discussion about liberal education. There have been changes, like demographics. On the more practical front, the redesign is for the Higher Learning Commission programmatic assessment. Right now we do course-by-course assessment, and they want students’ critical thinking and writing to be assessed when they come in and when they come out.”

The Miami Plan redesign proposal said a baseline assessment of critical thinking and written communication will be performed through the Summer Reading Program book assignment and scored with the VALUE rubric. The post-assessment will be performed through students’ capstones.

The proposals were developed by a task force, including students, devoted to the Miami Plan redesign, the Liberal Education Council and student feedback through online surveys.

The overall effect of the proposal on credits would be a reduction from 33-36 credit hours to 27-28.

Total graduation requirements will also be reduced from 128 to 120 credit hours. Tassoni said the goal

of the new Miami Plan was to make meeting liberal education requirements more efficient.

“I think it will enhance the culture of writing at the university and I think it will allow students to move through the liberal education program more efficiently,” Tassoni said.

If the plan is approved and implemented for fall 2015, students under the current Miami Plan have an option.

“If you’re under the current plan, you can remain under the current plan or you can choose to transfer to the new plan,” Tassoni said.

Senior marketing major Mary Tehrani said the advanced writing requirement will be especially beneficial to students.

“The advanced writing requirement is going to help students be able to communicate better through writing,” Tehrani said. “All students can benefit. Speaking from a business standpoint, being able to communicate through writing is important in the business world.”

Junior Karly Osborne said the reduction in science requirements is extremely helpful.

“I really like that they’re taking the science credit down,” Osborne said.

“I understand being able to speak intelligently on a subject, but nine credits is too much if it’s not your major. I also think reducing the global perspectives requirement is good because if people don’t study abroad, that’s a lot for people to fit in. It gives them a little more flexibility.”

Osborne said she thinks a personal finance class would be a good addition to the Miami Plan.

“I sincerely think everyone should have to take finance, because that’s applicable,” Osborne said. “Everyone’s going to get a paycheck.”

Fluffy friends give puppy love to disabled

BY ELLEN HANCOCK FOR THE MIAMI STUDENT

What can be found all over Miami that is fluffy, friendly and worth more than $22,000? The answer: the in-training 4 Paws for Ability service dogs that are being fostered by Miami students.

4 Paws is a nonprofit organization that allows Miami students to foster future service dogs with the goal of orienting the dogs to the distractions and social aspects of accompanying someone throughout his or her daily life.

Fosters are responsible for caring for the dogs and teaching them how to act in busy environments. The dogs go with the foster to class, the library, dinner and anywhere else the student may need to go. According to organization vice president Kristyn Lind, once the semester-long fostering program is over, these dogs are then placed in specialized training programs and eventually are matched with a child in need.

4 Paws was brought to Miami by current president Kristin McNamara and when they fostered Miami’s first dog in 2012. Since then the organization has quickly grown and now there are currently eight dogs being fostered on Miami’s campus.

Lind said 4 Paws chooses several different breeds.

“Right now at Miami we have six golden lab mixes that are all from the same litter and also for the first time we have two papillons as well,” she said. “The golden labs are good because of how friendly they are and the Papillons are usually chosen because of how small they are.”

Once through the foster system, these dogs will go on to specialized training before being given to a child. Another foster from 4 Paws, Rebecca Phillips, described the different types of services the dogs can be trained for.

“Usually the dogs are placed with kids with autism or diabetes,” Phillips said. “If a child has autism and wanders off or self harms then the dogs can be trained to bring the kid back or provide a distraction. Sometimes, though, the dogs will go to veterans with PTSD.” Phillips also spoke about the

CONTRIBUTED BY LAUREN DUVALL

Junior Lauren Duvall poses with her golden lab, an in-training 4 Paws for Ability puppy. Each puppy is worth more than $22,000.

perks of the different breeds of dogs brought to Miami’s campus.

“The small dogs are more often used for seizure detection and allergen detection,” Phillips said. “While the bigger dogs can do these tasks as well, they are also used for mobility assistance. Dogs are also placed based on their talents. For example if a dog has a particularly good sense of smell they’ll probably be placed in allergy detection over mobility assistance no matter their size.”

When it comes time for a dog to be matched with a child, factors other than talent and size are considered.

“They also match dogs and kids based on personality,” Philips said. “For example they wouldn’t match a really hyper dog with a really low-key kid. They try to match personalities.”

While taking care of a dog full time requires a lot of time and effort, first-time foster junior Kate Stein said all the effort she puts in is well worth it.

“I’ve only been a foster for a month or two now,” Stein said. “I really think that 4 Paws is an incredible organization as a whole and that it provides invaluable tools for

children in need.”

Invaluable is right. After training, each service dog is worth about $22,000, Phillips said.

“Each family is responsible for fundraising half of the money for the dog and then 4 Paws donates the other half,” Philips said. “Recently we’ve been fundraising to help build a new building for the national 4 Paws center, but sometimes we go to the website and pick a child who is fundraising for their dog and we fundraise for that kid.”

Students who want to get involved can find 4 Paws on The Hub. In order to foster a dog for a semester, students must be juniors or seniors living off campus, but there are still plenty of ways to get involved as a general member. Phillips said all the work pays off in the end.

“When you go to the dog’s training graduation and see the children with their new service dogs, even if one of your dogs isn’t graduating, I still get chocked up,” Phillips said.

“Seeing the kids with their new dogs makes you realize that all of your time and energy was worth it because you really were able to make a difference.”

CONTRIBUTED BY MIAMI UNIVERSITY COMMUNICATIONS

FROM OXFORD, WITH LOVE

Students show their Miami pride in various spring break destinations, including Washington, D.C., London and Tennessee.

Girl power: Geena Davis to speak at symposium

BY KAILA FRISONE SENIOR STAFF WRITER

Academy Award winning actress and advocate Geena Davis will present the keynote address at the Women in Leadership Symposium at 5 p.m. Thursday, April 3, in the Pavilion of Armstrong Student Center.

The symposium is the inaugural event for the M.I.A.M.I. Women initiative – Miami Initiative for Advancing, Mentoring and Investing in Women – which aims to unite campus offices and student groups as well as interact with alumni. The theme for the symposium is “Making Our Mark,” and it is intended to inspire and empower women to lead and engage in philanthropy. Miami University’s Development office and the Women’s Center are hosting the event.

Davis is the founder and chair of the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, which aims to change how girls and women are reflected in the media. Associate Director of Development Maggie Patrick said Davis was on her radar as a featured speaker since summer 2013.

“We knew she has been a good role model for women and women’s leadership, especially through her organization,” Patrick said.

Jane Goettsch, director of the Women’s Center, said she is looking forward to Davis’ speech because her messages align with those of the center. Goettsch said the Women’s Center advocates that women

make terrific leaders and women leaders are needed. She is also looking forward to the alumnae returning to campus and sharing their advice and stories.

“Miami is a great school for high alumni investment,” Goettsch said. “The events on Friday will be wonderful for students to make connections.”

Friday’s programming consists of a breakfast, panels, lectures and a luncheon with the presentation of the annual Women’s Leadership Awards. Career Services is contributing to the afternoon programming as well.

Senior Associate Director of Student Affairs Heather Christman said Career Services saw this symposium as an opportunity to integrate career development. “Leaning in, Leaning out, and Reclining” is a panel on work-life integration that will be held 1:30 p.m. Friday, April 4, in Multipurpose Room of Shriver Center. Alumnae, faculty and staff were invited to be on the panel, and students are invited to attend a networking opportunity after the panel called “coffee with cool women.”

The event is not limited to women attendees. Christman said she strongly believes there is merit to having men in the conversation because women do not exist in the workplace alone.

The entire symposium, including Davis’ presentation and Friday’s luncheon, is free and open to the general public.

ForestWhitaker to speak at graduation From the big screen to the Academy Awards red carpet, Forest Whitaker is a well-recognized face in Hollywood. But this spring, the Oscar-winning actor will be seen behind a podium at Miami University’s Yager Stadium, giving the annual commencement speech at the spring graduation ceremony Saturday, May 17.

Whitaker is perhaps best known for his roles in various movies such as “The Last King of Scotland,” in which his performance earned an Academy Award for Best Actor in 2006. Recently, his portrayal of Eugene Allen — an African American butler who served the White House through eight presidential administrations — in Lee Daniel’s “The Butler” was also highly regarded, winning African-American Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor and several Screen Actors Guild Award nominations.

“The Butler” was adapted from a Washington Post article written

by Miami ‘76 alumnus and future faculty member Wil Haygood, who gave last spring’s commencement speech.

Whitaker is also a movie director and producer who is especially active in philanthropy, founding

organizations such as PeaceEarth, and “Hope North Uganda,” which advocates safety for refugees, orphans and former child soldiers.

In a university press release, Miami President David Hodge distinguished Whitaker as an appropriate choice for this spring’s commencement speaker, given Miami’s year-long celebration of the 50th anniversary of Freedom Summer and the civil right’s movement which Whitaker’s role in “The Butler” highlights.

“As an actor and a humanitarian, Forest Whitaker reflects the energy and the values that define Miami. We are excited to have him share his experience and vision with our graduating class,” Hodge said. “It is especially fitting to have him as our commencement speaker in Miami’s year of Celebrating Freedom with the focus on the 50th anniversary of Freedom Summer, an important moment in the struggle for civil rights as highlighted in the movie Lee Daniels’ ‘The Butler’ and an anniversary significant to Oxford history.”

This spring’s commencement ceremony will take place at 1:30 p.m. Saturday, May 17 in Yager Stadium.

EDITORS JANE BLAZER CHRIS CURME

COMMUNITY

TUESDAY APRIL 1, 2014

COMMUNITY@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

3

POLICE Firemen rescue damsel in distress

BEAT

The most thrilling police beat of the century At 10:30 p.m. Friday, an OPD officer initiated a traffic stop on a vehicle for an equipment violation.

The driver was found to have an active warrant through the Butler County Sherriff’s Office.

The warrant was confirmed and the male was taken into custody. He was transported to the Butler County Jail and turned over to their custody.

Out of the frying pan, into the garbage fire Thursday evening, an OPD officer was dispatched to Hunter Woods Drive in response to a fire that was beginning to spread.

OPD spoke with the man housesitting at the Hunter Woods Drive home were the fire took place.

According to the housesitter, his son walked outside and saw the trash was on fire and the flames were spreading and he immediately told his dad. The mother called the fire department.

A Rumpke recycling bin and black bin were the only items damaged. Firemen were able to extinguish the fire. Its origin is unknown.

Sneaky squatters are spotted sprinkling pee At 4:30 p.m. Thursday, an OPD officer was assisting two other officers when he observed two squatting females in an alley behind the Beta Theta Pi house.

When one suspect saw the officer, she immediately whipped around.

The second female was pulling up her pants and desperately grabbed a nearly-full can of Natural Light beer.

The officer approached the beertoting female and determined she was only 20 years old.

He observed a suspicious puddle beside the female, which he surmised was, indeed, urine.

The female quickly became apologetic and explained that the bathroom line at a party she was attending was too long. She said the beer was not hers and she was holding it for someone else.

As she spoke, the officer detected a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage omitting from her breath.

She was then cited with offenses involving underage persons and open container.

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CHRIS CURME COMMUNITY EDITOR

Thursday, March 20, two firetrucks are parked outside of The Princess Theater on Beech Street after a minor fire. No one was injured and the building is not structurally compromised. Firefighters entered by breaking through the glass front doors.

BY CHRIS CURME COMMUNITY EDITOR

The Princess Theater has yet again fallen into dormancy after a fire just before noon on Thursday, March 20.

According to Oxford Police Department Sergeant Jon Varley, a lobby ice machine overheated and produced much smoke.

Some individuals inside Krispy Kutz, the Princess’ neighbor, saw and smelled the smoke and called the fire department.

The Princess was closed at the time, and firefighters had to break through the glass front doors.

“It worked out kind of well for us,” Princess co-owner Lindsey Myers said. “We were going to remodel anyway after our

first year.”

According to Myers, architects and engineers have been on the property since the first of the year planning renovations.

Varley said the building’s structure is not damaged.

Myers said damage estimates and timetables are currently up in the air.

“We have insurance adjustors coming in and deciding what’s damaged, what needs to be replaced,” Myers said.

Myers said he was unsure when the theater might again open its doors. “[The fire] pushed our renovation timetable up a little,” Myers said, indicating they may proceed with planned renovations before reopening.

CHRIS CURME COMMUNITY EDITOR

Firehoses wind through the lobby of The Princess after an ice machine overheated and produced much smoke. The theater is now closed.

App ensures no photo unseen, no memory forgotten

BY STEVEN PERKINS FOR THE MIAMI STUDENT

Miami University alumnus Saxon Baum is changing the way people attend and later relive events. The application, which is slated to release this week, is called WeVue. The crowdsourcing social media app is designed to help users view events including concerts, sports games and life events: such as weddings and birthday parties.

Baum was a senior at Miami University when he began developing the app.

“The idea came to me as a junior living at Old Nash,” Baum said. “I couldn’t get to the concerts I wanted to go to so I decided to create a way to share the full experience.”

The app allows users to all drop their pictures and videos to an open event page where they can compile both their own and other pictures and videos along with music from their phone’s library to create short videos to share with friends and family.

Baum said there are video

productions from events, but content is often the pictures from the band or venue photographer.

“I wanted to make use of everyone’s iPhone pictures,” Baum said. “I take so many photos and videos on trips and at events and then I just let them sit on my computer and no one ever sees them.”

First-year Adam Olson said he likes the idea of the app.

“It’s a very innovative idea,” Olson said. “It expands on current social media to make it more convenient.

It’s fitting that he is from Miami because this is such a social school.”

As a political science major and entrepreneurship minor, Baum said Miami helped him throughout the beginning stages of brainstorming. He said he was very active socially and always enjoyed the music scene at bars like Brick Street and The Woods.

“I always knew I wanted to start my own business, I just never stuck with one thing too long,” Baum said.

“But Miami taught me to laser focus on one thing.”

Baum called Miami business professor Wayne Speer his mentor. Dr. Speer said Baum was always capable of something like this.

“He was very innovative and creative,” Speer said. “He is similar to many businessmen: They have lots of good ideas. The biggest challenge is to start with one and work it.”

Baum, along with his cousin and CEO of WeVue Taylor Wallace, can see the app being used at all kinds of events.

“I would really like to see the app be used to capture graduation at Miami,” Baum said. “There are going to be so many parents and grandparents all taking pictures. And you can export any video or photo from the event page to your camera roll.”

Wallace has similar visions.

“We would like this to become the go to app for photographing events,” Wallace said. “Whether that be the Super Bowl or your kid’s birthday party. And eventually we could be acquired by a much larger social media app.”

First-year Ian McKenna said he is

very interested and wants to start using the app after hearing about it.

“I will definitely be downloading this app, it sounds revolutionary,” McKenna said. “This could be the next big social media. I could even see an app like Instagram trying to buy it out.”

WeVue has not, however, been problem-free, Baum and his five full-time staff faced their fair share of setbacks.

“Software is never on time,” Baum said. “You always have to add a couple weeks and a couple thousand dollars to your budget.”

Users can find events using geobased, which uses your phone’s location services, and keyword searches to find other friend’s photo and video events. Users can also create private, invite-based events. These private events would eliminate random users from accessing your photos and videos.

WeVue is expected to be on the app store at the end of this week or the beginning of next week and will be free to download.

Student on the Street City Council has banned alcohol in Oxford Township. Your thoughts?

“I think if people are being safe with alcohol it’s kinda their own business.”

“Brick Street won’t be nearly half as fun.”

Ying Liang First-year

Julie Street First-year

“I am outraged.

How am I going to make friends?”

“I have no idea.

I don’t even go here.”

Althea Perley

Good sport

First-year

The students above were let in on the April Fools’ joke

Luke Schwartz

4

ARTS & EVENTS

EDITOR LAUREN KIGGINS

ARTS@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014

MOVIE REVIEW

Check in at ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’

BY BRITTON PERELMAN STAFF WRITER

I must admit that I had absolutely no idea what to expect when I sat down to watch “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” About 100 minutes later, I left the theater dancing a jig to the incredibly upbeat music in the credits and wondering where in the world Wes Anderson ever came up with the idea for the delightful madness that is his latest movie.

What was “The Grand Budapest Hotel” about, you ask? Well, it was a little bit of everything.

There was murder, theft, love, deception, friendship and loyalty.

There was a story within a story, a chase scene that took place on abandoned Winter Olympics slopes, a secret society and a jailbreak that reminded me very much of “The Shawshank Redemption.” It was a fun, fast paced ride

centered on an exquisite hotel up in the mountains of Europe called The Grand Budapest.

The first thing that struck me about the film was the beauty of it all. The cinematography was stunning, made better only by the overly saturated colors in every shot. At the beginning of the movie I actually found myself a little distracted from the plotline because of the camera work and how well it was executed. Then there’s the musical score, which is tremendous and matches the mood in every scene to a tee. The other great beauty of the movie is the set itself; every detail about the production design and costuming is impeccable. But the real stunning part was the exterior shots of the Grand Budapest, which is actually a miniature model hotel built specifically for the film.

The movie tells the tale of

how Mr. Zero Moustafa, played by both F. Murray Abraham and Tony Revolori, came to own The Grand Budapest. He began as a lobby boy, learning the ropes from the illustrious and mischievous head concierge M. Gustave (Ralph Fiennes), who calls people ‘darling’ just about as much as Gatsby calls people ‘old sport.’

Their adventures together not only include the general running of the hotel, but also art theft and a murder charge. The whole thing is quirky, odd and very enjoyable.

As far as casting goes, Anderson’s picked the best. The ensemble for “The Grand Budapest Hotel” includes everyone from Ralph Fiennes and Bill Murray to Jude Law and Willem Dafoe.

And just when you think new faces are done popping up, Ed Norton and Owen Wilson make appearances as well. There wasn’t a weak member of the whole

BOOK REVIEW

cast, though it was Fiennes who gave by far the best performance as the eccentric and sarcastically comical M. Gustave.

While many of us know Fiennes best as Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter movies, his acting is arguably better as Gustave, a role in which he is free to create and mold the character as he goes. “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in the slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity,” says Gustave, following that profound statement with a declarative swear word. He’s a bizarre yet charming man, and Fiennes seems to understand his character on a much deeper level than most other actors do.

What I enjoyed about this movie in particular was that it wasn’t heavily burdened with themes or underlying messages.

Yes, there is something to be said

about a statement made in the beginning about how writers don’t actually have to come up with anything on their own because other people bring the characters and events to them. But that interesting statement is almost completely forgotten by the end of the movie.

If you’re looking for an impactful, thematic message, you should probably see another movie. In the end, “The Grand Budapest Hotel” is just a story about a lobby boy and a concierge and the adventures they have together. But that’s not a bad thing; it’s actually what makes the movie so refreshing. It’s a self-contained, light-hearted and enjoyable story in a never-ending world of trilogies and series.

BEN’S BOOMBOX

Eggers ‘circles’ the threat of social media Melodies of life and death

BY EAMONN WALSH FOR THE MIAMI STUDENT

In Dave Eggers’ new dystopian thriller, “The Circle,” Big Brother isn’t the one watching you; it’s everyone else. In “The Circle,” we follow the company’s newest employee, Mae Holland, as she ingratiates herself into the cult-like society on the conglomeration’s campus and eventually makes her way deep into the inner-workings of the company’s heart.

Mae came to the Circle because of her college roommate, Annie.

Mae had been working in a deadend job in her hometown before she joined the Circle under Annie’s tutelage and began working at “the only company that really mattered at all.” The Circle has been the world’s leader in technology and innovation for around a decade. Imagine the Circle as part Facebook, part Google and part Apple all rolled up into one and placed spectacularly on a picturesque piece of Silicon Valley land.

A lot is demanded of Mae when she joins. She is given three desktop screens, a tablet and a smartphone to complete her work in customer experience. The screens handle

customer questions, company news and, finally, social media.

Eggers makes a satire out of the social media used at the Circle. Instead of a distraction, Eggers makes social media a requirement for employees at the Circle. Mae is necessitated to view a certain amount of pages and post a certain amount on the company’s Facebookian model or receive a reprimand from her higher-ups.

Eventually, Mae, through positive and negative occurrences, receives notoriety at the Circle. The fame leads this chilling novel to its unexpected conclusion. Along the way, Mae comes into contact with a few suitors (one of whom possesses an earthquake-caliber secret) and the new technologies the company is inventing. Mae sees wireless cameras, called SeeChange, that can wirelessly transmit video from anywhere in the world; microchips, labeled ChildTrack, that are inserted into children to prevent kidnappings; PastPerfect, a program that compiles every document related to a user’s past and ancestors; and a futuristic submersible, capable of exploring the Mariana Trench’s deepest valleys and bringing forth into

the light, new species for research.

There is an underlying pattern here (other than the erasure of spaces between words): the Circle is attempting to bring everything to life, embodied in their company slogan, “ALL THAT HAPPENS MUST BE KNOWN.” This mindset evokes images of an Orwellian future where all humans are monitored and everyone’s lives are transparent.

Egger’s fourth full-length novel begs the reader to look around them and see the amount of connectivity required for functionality in day-to-day life.

In sparse prose that sounds at times clipped and at others poetic, (Eggers describes pillowcases as “so white and crisp they crackled when touched” and a young worker’s skin as “glowing like lacquered wood”) Eggers draws the plot forward, immersing the reader deeper and deeper into the plot until it is finished and the reader looks up, out the window and tries to discern if they are, in fact, being monitored.

ARTS & EVENTS CALENDAR TUESDAY APRIL 1 The Miami University Percussion Ensemble will perform a free concert at 7:30 p.m. in Hall Auditorium. The program includes two original works composed

by LaMattina.

WEDNESDAY APRIL 2 The Brown Bag Recital Series will feature solo and group performances by faculty and students at noon in the Armstrong Student Center’s Shade Family Room.

SATURDAY APRIL 5 “Proof” by American playwright David Auburn will be performed at Phelps Hall, Room 307 at the Hamilton Campus. The play depicts a daughter fighting to prove her diseased father discovered a paradigm-shifting proof about prime numbers. Tickets are $10 general admission and $5 for students and seniors and can be purchased online at http://proofhamilton.brownpapertickets.com/.

THURSDAY APRIL 3 Actress Geena Davis presents “The Role of Women in Media in Leadership” hosted by the Miami University Student Foundation and the Office of University Advancement. The lecture starts at 5 p.m. at the Armstrong Student Center Pavilion. Tickets can be reserved by emailing maggie.patrick@miamioh.edu.

SUNDAY APRIL 6 The Oxford Kinetics Festival kicks off at noon in Millet Hall. This year’s theme, “Not of This World,” is all about the weird and wacky. Bring your friends and your best humanpowered contraption for a family-friendly afternoon!

Emotion: a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood or relationships with others.

Mozart: a prolific Austrian composer and child prodigy; master of BEN the classical MEINKING style in all its forms of his time (1756-1791). Requiem: a mass for the repose of the souls of the dead.

The Department of Music in the College of Creative Arts put on a concert March 15 that struck the nerve of many whom filled the seats in the Hall Auditorium. The pieces presented were a reflection of life and death; Serenade in E-flat major, Op. 7 composed by Richard Strauss (1864-1949) and Requiem in D minor (K. 626) composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (17561791). Strauss was being honored for his 150th birthday, signifying the birth of life. Mozart’s Requiem was his last known piece of work.

The score was not finished by the time Mozart passed and was later finished by a few students and friends. As the myth goes, Mozart was given the task of writing a funeral mass that he soon believed was a mass for himself. He composed about a quarter of the score and fell sick, blaming it on being poisoned. Mozart’s Requiem was later played at his funeral upon

completion. The Requiem has been brought out for recital for various important moments to celebrate death, one being a memorial service for John F. Kennedy in 1964.

When celebrating both life and death, a great emotional state can take over the body. Expressing this emotion lets people know what you are feeling; it’s a way of communication. The conductor of an orchestra must let himself express the emotion that is inside him to let the members of the orchestra know how to react to the piece in front of them.

The Miami University Chamber Singers, Collegiate Chorale and Symphony Orchestra collaboration that performed the Requiem was conducted by William Bausano.

“Bausano uses his face a lot [when conducting],” Kristen Condon, an alto member of the Collegiate Chorale, said. “He expresses the feeling that we should give our audience so they can interpret the piece the way that it’s intended to be heard.”

Hall Auditorium was a great place to hear this rendition of Mozart’s Requiem. The opening notes set the tone to make the outing such an experience for the ages.

From birth to death, this concert was one that will continue to fill the seats in the audience and keep the ticket line out the door. Check out the schedule upcoming shows; the next must-see is the Miami University Steel Band at 7:30 p.m. on April 9.

FRIDAY APRIL 4 Spend the night dancing to Jericho Old Time Band at the Hoedown Square Dance, hosted by the Oxford Community Arts Center.

No experience or partner is necessary, so grab a friend and head Uptown for the 7:30 p.m. event!

Tickets are $7 for public, $5 for Miami students.

MONDAY APRIL 7 Eliot Borenstein of New York University will present his lecture “Catastrophe of the Week: Entertaining the Apocalypse in Post-Soviet Russia” as part of the Havighurst Center Colloquia Series: Rethinking the Communist Experiment. The event is free and open to the public at 11:30 a.m. in Harrison Hall 302.

ASHLY HORTON THE MIAMI STUDENT

DYNAMIC DUO

Matthew Slotkin, guitar, and Joseph Murphy, saxophone, of Duo Montagnard perform at Sours Recital Hall on March 16.

www.miamistudent.net

TUESDAY APRIL 1, 2014

The Senior Class Gift is a student-led fundraising campaign that empowers seniors to give back to Miami.

Friends of the University have generously agreed to match every gift made by a 2014 senior, up to $25,000. So your $25 gift doubles to $50!

MAKE YOUR GIFT TODAY! FORLOVEANDHONOR.ORG/ 2014SENIORCLASSGIFT

FSB Study Abroad Winter Term 2015

A r g e n t i n a Israel & Jordan Ecuador Asian Financial Markets Legal London Southeast Asia

Still accepting applications! w w w. s t u d y a b r o a d . m i a m i o h . e d u

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6

OPINION

EDITORS EMILY ELDRIDGE NICOLE THEODORE

TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014

EDITORIAL@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

EDITORIAL

The following piece, written by the editorial editors, reflects the majority opinion of the editorial board.

Media must be critical of public, public must be critical of media Even though the editorial section of The Miami Student didn’t try to trick you into thinking President Hodge was actually drawing the cartoons for the student under a pen name, or City Council passed an ordinance to ban liquor in Oxford, we hope you at least got a few laughs from our front page’s play on April Fools’ Day. The Miami Student Editorial Board is dedicated to providing factual, relevant and interesting stories 365 days out of the year (yes, even on school breaks), but a little fun is always needed — especially on April Fools’ Day where some students may be dealing with post-spring-break exams and social anxiety from horrific sun burns.

The editorial board hopes readers understood the satire and playfulness of the stories, and didn’t take them as being true (and if you did, we are sorry, but there won’t be aliens taking over Oxford and school wont be canceled this week.) However, April Fools’ Day brings up an important part of journalism and the overall duty of newspapers.

Publications like The Miami Student and others have a duty to remain as the “fourth estate.”

This is a role that holds legislatures, businesses and all parties accountable and in check so the public is able to form opinions and make informed decisions in a democratic society.

In the student’s case, we try to hold Associated Student Government, the administration and parties involved in making decisions that affect our every day lives as students in check.

Newspapers were certainly not put in society to dupe readers — but “April Fools’ Day” happens more than once a year for some publications and biased writers who only tell one side of a story and are interested in swaying public opinion.

Because of the competitive media industry today, many journalists and editors are blinded by their need to find the “scoop,” and have their byline slapped beneath the front-page headline to remain relevant in an over-saturated market. Because of this, the real intention of what journalism is intended to do for the public may be blurred, and this is when the public needs to keep journalists and organizations in check.

The editorial board encourages the public to read between the lines of media they consume — including this student-run paper. We encourage readers to be critical, to form varying opinions and to challenge the status quo of how media operates. Research news organizations to make sure they are credible, compare breaking news stories with multiple outlets and verify facts and quotes using sites like The Fact Checker by The Washington Post or PolitiFact for U.S. politics.

Even though our stories on the front page were clearly not 100 percent accurate, it isn’t always that easy to detect when it comes to bigger outlets. A biased or slanted story, or one with factual errors, can slip below the radar and go by thousands, if not millions, of people without being detected.

Social media has also made catching errors harder. For example, over spring break a fake CNN account tweeted a picture with a photo of an airplane submerged in water with a headline stating, “BREAKING: Malaysian plane found in bay.” It had numerous retweets and even followers, despite it being a fake account. Spreading around false news now only takes the click of a mouse.

Newspapers are meant to also serve as gatekeepers, deciding what is critical to print and what the public should know about. At The Miami Student, we as a news organization, have tried our best to treat our sources as people, break news that is even critical of our own university and it’s culture and shed light on national and world issues.

However, we can only get better and serve our readers in the best possible way if we are made aware of our errors.

The editorial board believes this paper should at all times keep organizations and the university in check, but the board also believes readers should keep the paper in check. This should go for any news outlet and organization, even ones you trust and admire.

Journalists and editors are still humans at the end of the day, and even though most have the public’s best interest at heart, it is the public’s job to weed out the ones who don’t, and to keep news organizations on their toes.

Rule of Thumb Parking tickets no more OPD announced you can now redeem your parking tickets at City Hall for cash.

PATRICK GEYSER THE MIAMI STUDENT

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Seeing Miami’s parking situation go from bad to worse; a senior’s take on parking garage problems The week before spring break, around 12:55 in the afternoon, I entered the parking garage below the engineering building. It is always busy around this time, especially on a Wednesday. Today in particular, the garage seemed especially full as I searched for a spot. There are no warning lights at the entrance of the garage to indicate when it is full, so I unknowingly drove around each level of the garage, finding it to be completely filled.

By this time, it was 1:10 and I had already missed 10 vital minutes of my group project work time. Had I known the garage was full I would have simply parked off campus and walked, but wasting any more time at this point was not an option; so I

was forced to bite the bullet and park in a yellow zone, as taking the extra 10 minutes to leave and park somewhere else was not a viable option. I’ve seen others park in the yellow zone repeatedly, with no ticket, so I figured I would chance it for at least the remainder of the class period.

I ran downstairs immediately after class to find my car ticketed. I am a fifth year software engineering student here, so I have seen this campus’ parking situation go from bad to worse.

This leaves me to wonder: does the university care more about making money off the students from parking, or is it genuinely concerned with providing its students the best facilities and resources it can? If it were the

latter, then enabling students to make it to class on time should be a prominent concern. As I see it, the parking garage is singlehandedly the student’s largest deterrent to attend class, and it is only going to get worse as the student population grows each year.

They have not taken the effort to provide a “Full” indicator, or even a loop from the entrance to the exit drive so students may park somewhere else instead of searching for a space and wasting time. In the end, it seems Miami does not care about their student’s time, just their money.

ANDY SHEAR

SENIOR, SOFTWARE ENGINEERING

SHEARAR@MIAMIOH.EDU

ILLUSTRATION BY KYLE HAYDEN THE MIAMI STUDENT

HANGING WITH ELLEN ON PRODUCTION NIGHT If only Reis’ (aka Bradley Cooper) arm was longer. Best photo ever. #Oscars

The commentaries and letters to the editor featured on this page do not reflect the majority opinion of The Miami Student. Questions, comments or concerns can be submitted in essay or letter form to editorial@miamistudent.net or eic@miamistudent.net. Anonymous submissions will not be published.

Alcohol in Ox illegal Oxford prepares for riots among students who can no longer buy or drink alcohol. p. 1

Basket weaving as a sport All we know is that it involves a pool and baskets... p. 1

JAZZ HANDS EDITOR IN CHIEF EMILIO ESTEVEZ ETHT-EH-VEZ NEWS EDITOR PETER PANIC EDITORIAL EDITOR

Miami moves to Florida Even though Miami was a college before Florida was a state, P. Hodge liked the idea of classes on the beach and complimentary Pina Coladas. p. 1

OLVATINE JENKINS EDITORIAL EDITOR FELICIA FANCYBOTTOM ARTS AND EVENTS

LONGBRANCH PENNYWHISTLE COMMUNITY EDITOR GHEE BUTTERSNAPS COMMUNITY EDITOR LAVENDER GOOMS CAMPUS EDITOR MAGIC HEAD CAMPUS EDITOR GUS T.T. SHOWBIZ SPORTS EDITOR

www.miamistudent.net

TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014 OP ED

7

COMMENTARY

Why are we afraid of what we cannot control when it comes to gun debate?

“Let’s talk, you and I—let’s talk about fear.” Understanding it better than almost anyone else, Stephan King used fear to grip his audience and render even grown men too terrified to check on the bump in the night. Fear is a very powerful thing; it can completely consume the mind and drastically alter perceptions. And yet, its role in society is often downplayed.

I’d like to break from that trend for the next 700 words, because I believe fear is something we need to talk about. Specifically, I believe it is indispensable in the analysis of gun control.

I’d like to preface this article by saying it is not intended to be a political assertion of the legitimacy or illegitimacy of guns in society; rather, it is a general analysis and comment on the psychology of gun control. Now, if the topic is fear relative to guns, of what are we afraid? Someone coming into another school and shooting children, the slaughter of the innocent? Naturally. From 20082009, 5,740 children were killed by guns. This is a terrible tragedy.

This number pales in comparison, though, to the number of deaths caused by many more commonplace undertakings. For example, each year in the U.S.,

preventable medical errors kill around 98,000 people, and 75,000 deaths are linked to alcohol use.

But we’re not afraid of medicine or alcohol, simply because they’re perceived to have more of a benefit to society than cost.

Moreover, they’re perceived to be controllable. Doctors are our friends because we perceive that they intend to help, not harm. Similarly, alcohol can be viewed as desirable because individuals can determine how much they drink. The individuals who use guns to cause harm or incite fear, however, obviously do not have our best interests at heart. The former’s nature is seen to be inherently good and controllable, whereas the latter’s is seen to be inherently bad and uncontrollable.

In the wake of 9/11, we called it terrorism. Isolated individuals misused a plane to kill many people. If we replace the word “plane” with “gun” in that sentence, however, the blame is no longer expanded to broad terrorism, but is instead narrowed to “guns.” Terrorism is typically fueled by political motives, which isn’t often the case for shootings, but the point holds. We don’t assume every pilot has blatant

disregard for the lives of others, as is suspected in the case of Malaysian Flight 370. Yet, when we attempt to use that logic to guns, it is often disputed vehemently.

So, why is this? Is it to serve a political agenda? Perhaps. But let’s focus on the bigger picture instead of pointing fingers. Do isolated events of gun misuse mean that every owner of a gun has malicious intent? Certainly not. I hardly think anyone would make that argument. So “gun control” is a funny thing when you stop and think about it. Why do we target guns, instead of the commonality that links these acts of aggression — whether terrorism or shootings? Why is it not called, “violence control?”

This is why: What we really fear is violence. But violence, being innately characteristic to the human condition, is inherently uncontrollable. As such, we are rendered utterly incapacitated in any attempt to control it. Being unable to control the root of the issue, we then redirect our attention to something we can control: guns.

This debilitating fact—that we can’t, despite any degree of regulation, control human nature — leads us to regulate and control

COMMENTARY

Soldier’s false guilt can often lead to moral injury

Tony Lang is a Miami student and Army veteran. He is a recipient of the military’s Bronze Star with Valor award for actions in Afghanistan. Today he is ashamed of his prestigious award. Lang believes the actions that lead to the award got innocents killed. His name has been changed to protect his identity.

Lang is credited by the Army for fending off a Taliban advance and saving the lives of other soldiers. “Me and my team were cut off from the rest of our group,” Lang said. “There were five of us and three Afghan Army soldiers. One of my soldiers suffered a concussion and some broken bones.”

The fighting went on for a while. Two of the Afghan soldiers were killed and another American was seriously injured. “We had to fight off Taliban and take care of our wounded at the same time.,” Lang said. “It was incredibly chaotic. There was only four of us that could fight. The Taliban were getting more aggressive.”

In 2012, suicides among troops exceeded combat deaths with 349 as opposed to 310 troops killed in Afghanistan.

With ammo dwindling down and casualties mounting up, Lang called for artillery fire dangerously close to him. When the bombs fell, the battle ended. After a long stretch of constant shooting and shouting, everything was silent.

Medical evacuation aircraft came to pick up the soldiers killed and wounded in the fighting. Lang was then able to regroup with the rest of his platoon. “We went into the area I called for fire support on to gather up anything the enemy left behind,” Lang said.

Among the debris, the platoon discovered the bodies of an older male and a female child.

Their wounds were the result of Lang’s artillery. “When we found those two, I fell to my knees and couldn’t believe what I did,” Lang said.

There was a long pause in Lang telling his story at this point. This event was only a year ago.

The Taliban often have children fight for them, but it’s unheard of for them to have women and elder men within their ranks.

All evidence pointed to these two Afghans being civilians.

“There was a farm where we were shooting at. But we’ve walked by it a thousand times and it has always been abandoned.

Even if civilians are in the area, they usually take off before the Taliban attack. I had no reason to believe anyone was there,” Lang said. In the heat of combat it is easy for troops to quickly become very tired and stressed. “I got tunnel vision and lost situational awareness. I was scared. Almost half my soldiers were dead or too injured to move safely,” Lang added.

Lang often flip-flops on whether or not his decision to call for artillery was the right one. Because of his actions, he and most of his soldiers are still alive. Yet he is haunted with constant gruesome visions of the child and old man he killed.

Despite the debate on Lang’s decision-making process, he is incredibly ashamed of the Bronze Star he received as a result of this battle; he refuses to display or wear it.

“You can give me credit for getting rid of a lot of Taliban.

I don’t know if me or my soldiers would have all died that day. At the time it seemed like that. Looking back, I’m not too sure. I panicked. That’s a terrible quality for a soldier, especially a leader,” Lang said. He constantly asks himself if the two innocent lives were worth him and his soldiers’ safety. While his leadership stands with him, upper-level command started an investigation on the battle. Lang hasn’t gotten any updates on his investigation.

Contact with military legal representatives failed to be useful on providing any information. All he knows is that he is possibly being investigated for murder and excessive use of force.

It is possible the investigation is over, but Lang may never know.

He followed his mission’s

Rules of Engagement, the criteria of use of force troops have to follow. Large explosives are not allowed to be used in most urban environments in Afghanistan.

The farm that was destroyed in the fight was allegedly abandoned for months before this event took place, the surrounding area was clear of any other civilization.

Lang said he suffers from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but refuses to be officially diagnosed in fear of any impact that might have on his future career.

He said he went through a phase of being suicidal, but no longer feels the need to end his life.

Veteran unemployment has always been higher than the civilian side. Discrimination against mental disorders is likely to be part of that problem.

“I thought about it. I couldn’t deal with the guilt of that in addition to other things every combat veteran probably deals with. I don’t think I’m at risk anymore.

I just developed a drinking problem,” Lang said.

Nearly one in five suicides in the U.S. is a veteran. In 2012, suicide among troops exceeded combat deaths with 349 as opposed to 310 troops killed in Afghanistan.

In 2013 the suicides decreased to 296, probably due to reduction of force and less combat.

The VA found the rate of veteran suicide is 22 per day in 2012 and more than 20 percent of all veteran deaths in 2010 were suicides. Data for 2013 is still being analyzed.

Roughly 11 percent of Afghanistan veterans suffer from PTSD, according to the VA. This is an astounding number considering that most statistics state less than 10 percent of troops are combat forces, and an even smaller number than that see combat or even deploy.

The most extraordinary element about this story is that it isn’t extraordinary at all. This is an incredibly common scenario.

Many troops have survivor’s guilt and suffer moral injuries.

The sad truth is that the trooper has to believe he made the right decision. He can’t be responsible for collateral damage if intentions were righteous. If he can’t believe in himself and the decisions that saved his friends and defeated the enemy, than the trooper is likely to be a part of these saddening suicide statistics.

STEVEN BEYNON

SOPHOMORE, MEDIA AND CULTURE

BEYNONSM@MIAMIOH.EDU

problem will continue to grow.

Until we can recondition the human condition, there will always exist isolated incidences of lawlessness. It is a sobering reality, but regardless of our satisfaction or dissatisfaction with it, we must operate within the realm of “what is,” and not “what should be.”

We are afraid of that which we cannot control. I am by no means an authority on the effects

If we replace the word “plane” with “gun” in that sentence, however, the blame is no longer expanded to broad terrorism, but is instead narrowed to “guns.”

I realize there’s a vast discrepancy in the magnitude of the situations, cigarettes versus guns, but again, the point holds. Putting up signs, or forbidding people to own or do something will not work with everyone — and more importantly, neither does it address the source of the problem. It seems we are picking off the thorns of a problem without trying to attack the root of the problem, which, until it is uprooted, the plant of this

of all types of regulation, and this doesn’t answer the persistent question of whether or not we should have increased regulation of guns, but hopefully it helps put the topic into clearer context, from which point you will be able to come to your own conclusions on the matter.

ERIC NIEHAUS JUNIOR PSYCHOLOGY & MARKETING,

NIEHAUES@MIAMIOH.EDU

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I’m serving my sixth year in the Army as a Cavalry Scout Sergeant in the Ohio Army National Guard’s 2/107th Cavalry, 28th Infantry Division. I deployed with the Ohio Army National Guard’s 37th Infantry Brigade Combat Team to Afghanistan 2011-2012.

what we can.

This is a natural progression of thought that I maintain is, while good in theory, flawed. For example, we may say, “If we can’t control a smoker’s desire to smoke, we can at least control the legality of smoking.” Miami is a smoke-free campus, yet I’m willing to bet my lunch money that we’ve all seen individuals smoke on campus.

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FOR RENT LARGE 1 BEDROOM APTS. 610 South Main. Water, sewer, trash included. Available May and August 2014. $455.00 per month. Semester leases available (2) required 513-896-7358 COURTYARDS OF MIAMI Too many roommates? The COURTYARDS of MIAMI might be just what you are looking for. Located at the corner of S. Main Street and E. Central Ave, the MU red, green, and blue bus stops right in the front yard. We offer neat, clean, and colorful housing to students only, at affordable prices. A 2 bedroom apartment shared by 2 students is $2500. and includes HEAT, water and trash.

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10

SPORTS

EDITOR TOM DOWNEY

TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014 TOM DOWNEY WHAT’S GOING DOWNEY

#HOTSPORTSTAKES: TIME FOR BLASI TO BE FIRED

Enrico Blasi needs to be fired.

He has never been able to win the big one and his hockey team just finished with a clunker of a season. It’s time for him to go.

Blasi has done some great things for Miami, but it was all in the past. Over 300 wins, a Spencer Penrose Award for best coach, back-to-back Frozen Fours blah blah blah.

I don’t care and neither should any of you. Division-I athletics is all about what have you done for me now. And what has Blasi done lately? Miami hasn’t been to the Frozen Four since 2010. The Penrose Award was back in 2006.

That’s an eon in sports time.

The ‘Hawks just finished 1520-3. I mean seriously? This team was No. 1 in the nation early in the year. Yet they finished last in the National Collegiate Hockey Conference behind everyone.

That’s unacceptable. I expect more out of Miami hockey and you should too.

Yes, Miami made a nice late season run by advancing to the NCHC Championship game.

But guess what? They lost another big game. It was a good effort and a ice-try, but, much like Blasi’s size, the RedHawks came up short.

Coming up short has been an issue for Blasi’s teams throughout his time as ’Hawk head honcho.

Do you remember 2009? Here’s the abridged version: Miami had an NCAA Championship in their hands. And they lost. Blew it.

Choked. Whatever you want to call it.

It was the equivalent of having a breakaway chance with an empty net, and shooting it into the stands.

Let’s face facts: Miami hockey is not where it should be right now.

For the future of Miami hockey, it’s time for Blasi to leave.

I don’t care about his brand new contract extension. Miami just built the Armstrong Student Center and are about to build a new indoor facility for the rest of the sports at Miami. I’m no math major, but I’m fairly confident those projects cost a lot.

So bite down on the puck and take the hit. Take it out of my student fee for all I care.

Blasi’s biggest problem is his foolish and misguided Brotherhood mantra. The whole idea of leaving the program better than you found it, playing for each other, the sense of inclusion and so on may seem great and noble but it doesn’t matter in the long run.

Winning isn’t everything, it’s just the only thing that matters.

It’s one of the greatest problems with America today. Everyone grows up getting a medal. I mean seriously, I don’t care if little Johnny tried real hard. There are winner and losers in life. And right now, Blasi and his team are losers.

So it’s time to fire Blasi. For the good of Miami hockey.

If you haven’t been able to tell already, this column isn’t serious.

It’s a #hotsportstake, a parody of some of the junk that passes for sports journalism today. It’s the writing equivalent of First Take.

So don’t take the column seriously, read it and have a good chuckle. In reality, Blasi is one of the best coaches in college hockey and Miami is lucky to have him.

Anyone who actually suggests Blasi should be fired is a fool.

GOLF

MU places fifth in tourney

BY JUSTIN MASKULINSKI SENIOR STAFF WRITER

The Miami University golf team was able to improve its play in Williamsburg, Va., as it finished fifth out of 27 teams in the Middleburg Bank Intercollegiate.

“I think the guys are continuing to get better and get more comfortable,” Miami head coach Zac Zedrick said. “The conditions were pretty tough this week and I think mentally we’re a pretty resilient, tough team and it showed.”

The ’Hawks had finished in the bottom half of their first two tournaments this spring.

Junior Scott Cahill led the way for the RedHawks, shooting 3-over-par for the tournament.

Cahill finished tied for sixth in the 139-man field.

“The preparation was good leading into the tournament,” Cahill said. “I was really feeling good and confident.

I just kept the ball in front of me, and I converted on a few of my opportunities.”

Cahill shot a 73 in the first round, a 69 in the second round and a 71 in the third round. “[Cahill] has had some good moments throughout the spring,” Zedrick said. “It’s just the first tournament where he has had a really strong three solid rounds of golf together.”

The ’Hawks finished the tournament 35-over-par, shooting 291 as a team in the final round.

Texas A&M University, a team that is ranked 50th in the nation, won the tournament. The Aggies shot 11-over-par as a team to take tournament.

Miami was also led by senior Mark MacDonald, who improved in the second and third rounds to finish tied for 13th overall. MacDonald shot three over par in the first round, before shooting two

over par in both the second and third rounds.

Sophomore Jack Sparling finished tied for 37th, while classmate Bud Radis and junior Brantley Kushner finished tied for 54th.

The ’Hawks finished four strokes ahead of Mid-American Conference opponent Eastern Michigan University.

“We have a pretty good idea of how well we can perform,” Zedrick said. “That’s kind of what we’re measuring ourselves against, not necessarily what the other teams are doing. If we take care of our business, I don’t know if we necessarily need to worry about the other teams in the field.”

Miami also finished in front of schools from the Big Ten (Penn State University) and ACC (Boston College University).

“The ties to your conference aren’t quite as strong,” Zedrick said. “That being said, those are good programs and it’s always good when you’re finishing above good programs in the tournament.”

Zedrick said the team being on spring break may have helped its focus.

“When you’ve got all of the schoolwork taken care of you can just go play golf,” Zedrick said.

“Our guys do a really good job of trying to take care of things as soon as possible ahead of time, but [spring break] certainly helps a little bit.”

Cahill said this tournament will fuel the ’Hawks as they inch closer to the MAC Championship.

“We’ve only got a couple tournaments left before we head to the MAC Championships,” Cahill said. “We’re playing with confidence and we have five guys each week that are turning in good scores. We’ll be just fine.”

SPORTS@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

FOOTBALL

Quinten Rollins to play football for RedHawks

KYLE HAYDEN THE MIAMI STUDENT

Quinten Rollins watches a pass sail out of bounds during Miami’s first day of Spring Practice Monday.

BY TOM DOWNEY SPORTS EDITOR

College athletes switching schools is a relatively common event. But an athlete switching sports? That’s rarely seen. Yet it is exactly what Quinten Rollins is doing.

Rollins has spent the last four season playing point guard for Miami basketball but will be playing football for head coach Chuck Martin next season. Rollins will play cornerback for the RedHawks.

Rollins is out of basketball eligibilty, but can play football for another season.

It’ll be a new experience for Rollins, who hasn’t played football since his senior year of high school.

“I’m gonna give it a try,” Rollins said. “I played in high school, but the difference between college in high school are two totally different games. I know it is for basketball and I can only imagine what it is for football.”

Rollins has a year of eligibility remaining and said he was open to playing football. Martin said director of basketball operations Sean Mock called him to see if there was any interest from Martin’s side. There

was, and once Martin watched some tape of Rollins from high school and talked with him it was a done deal.

Martin said this has been planned for about two months.

Martin said he doesn’t have many expectations for Rollins, given that it is just one day into spring practice.

“Nothing really, we’ll just see,” Martin said. “He’s a ridiculous athlete. His skill set is good enough to play college football. But he hasn’t played since high school and he played mostly offense, now he’s playing corner. So really nothing.

We just told him to come out here and enjoy it and get comfortable and get coached up and kinda of walk before you run so we’ll see how it goes. Hopefully he can start to figure it out and become a pretty good player for us.”

Martin said he expects some of the elements of Rollins’ defensive prowess on the court to translate to the man-to-man defense he’ll play on the field. Rollins is second in career steals at Miami. He was a talented high school football player for Wilmington High School, where he was a three-time first-team all-FAVC and was the 2009 football co-athlete of the year playing mostly on offense.

Rollins said his first day of spring practice was difficult at times.

“I was confused sometimes,” Rollins said. “I’d hear the calls and then I’d be confused and have to look back to the safeties, ‘like what are we doing?” They helped me out, and as long as I have some help out here until I get the calls on my own, and know what’s going on I should be fine.”

Rollins said he’ll be playing corner, at least for now.

“To start off at least [I’ll play CB] and then see what I can do there,” Rollins said. “But they’ll probably utilize me and see what I can do on offense, give me a shot to do something on offense. Just gotta learn the basics of defense first.”

Rollins said he wouldn’t mind returning punts, but isn’t a fan of returning kicks. No matter what position Rollins plays, he’s in rare company by switching sports in his final season. The most recent notable player to do the same was Greg Paulus, who transferred from Duke to play quarterback at Syracuse.

“I’m getting both sides of the spectrum in the two major sports in college,” Rollins said. “That’s definitely gonna be a story I can tell one day.”

SOFTBALL

’Hawks sweep Kent to open MAC play

BY JORDAN RINARD SENIOR STAFF WRITER

After falling 10-2 against Marshall University Wednesday, the Miami University softball team started Mid-American Conference play with a bang as it defeated Kent State University 9-2 in the first game Friday and 4-3 in 10 innings in the second game. The RedHawks (13-15, 2-0 MAC) are winners of three of their last four games and the Golden Flashes were picked to win the MAC East in the preseason.

“They were great team wins,” junior outfielder Tiyona Marshall said. “We played together and picked each other up. Defensively, we need to get back into the swing of things, but overall we need to get better all around and move forward.”

Miami struck first against Marshall (10-20) as junior shortstop Kylie McChesney knocked a solo shot in the top of the third inning.

The Thundering Herd went off in the fourth, scoring seven runs in the inning. McChesney rounded out the scoring for the ’Hawks in the fifth with an RBI double prior to the game being called in six innings after Marshall tacked on three more runs. Despite the result,

sophomore pitcher Amber Logemann put in solid work as she went 3 2-3 innings and gave up four earned runs on six hits and recorded five strikeouts.

The RedHawks started off fast in their first game against Kent State (14-14, 0-2 MAC) with two runs in each of the first two innings. Senior first baseman Allie Larrabee had a two-RBI double in the first and senior second baseman Kristy Arbour hit drove in a runner with a single and junior outfielder Taylor Shuey found her way home on a throwing error by the Golden Flashes in the second. The Flashes only mustered two runs on the day as the RedHawks tallied nine runs on 13 hits in its MAC opener.

Larrabee went 2 for 4 with her two RBIs, Arbour had three hits in her three at-bats with one RBI and junior third baseman Remy Edwards connected in all three of her plate appearances, including a two-RBI home run in the seventh.

Senior pitcher Paige Myers put together a quality start by going 5 innings, only allowing four hits and no earned runs with two strikeouts.

Junior outfielder Bree Lipscomb initiated the scoring in the second game with a RBI-single in the first before the Flashes answered with a RBI of their own in the second.

In the fifth, Edwards drove in a runner with a single and Larrabee scored on a throwing error, but Kent State knotted things up in the sixth with a two-RBI double. The game remained tied until Larrabee served up a sacrifice fly ball in the tenth to send home Shuey for the winning run.

Logemann had a stellar outing on the mound with two earned runs on five hits with eight strikeouts in 6 innings of work.

“Today was the best I’ve ever seen us play,” head coach Clarisa Crowell said. “We had a lot of contributions from people that are too many to count. They were great team wins; it wasn’t just one or two players… We showed what kind of team we are. [Junior Kent State pitcher] Emma Johnson is one of the best pitchers in the conference and today we got her out in the fourth… We still need to get better, but our girls are confident and looking forward to getting back on the field.”

The RedHawks hosting three doubleheaders this week as they host Northern Kentucky University 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. Wednesday, the University of Toledo 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. Friday and Bowling Green State University 2 p.m. Saturday and 1 p.m. Sunday.