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SERVING SONOMA & NAPA COUNTIES | MAY 16-22, 2018 | BOHEMIAN.COM • VOL. 39.52

Spearfishing takes off following abalone ban p9

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Rhapsodies BOHEMIAN

Say No to Nazis As a Korean American, I can confirm to you that many Asians supporting this clown know what they're doing (“Elephant in the Room,” 5/9). I can't speak for all Asians, but Koreans and Korean-Americans in the US remain some of the most bigoted, ignorant, and selfishly indifferent people I know. Most identify as Christian, and are about as Christian as your average conservative evangelical: not at all. Koreans may have the book learnin’ but they never left

the house or their own community so it's not a surprise they share views with rural conservatives. Some of my friends were trying to solve the mystery of that random Asian guy at Charlottesville.

It wasn't a mystery to me. There are tons of Korean Trumpsters and they all have one thing in common: they make buttloads of money.

TEDTHEO

Bohemian.com

What a state of affairs, when being against giving $3.19 billion U.S. dollars a year to a terrorist nation that has proven

THIS MODERN WORLD

ties to 9/11 WTC (how did WTC7 fall??) is considered “anti-semetic” [sic]. When will people wake up? When will blacks and whites alike see that they are being pitted against each other by a third party?

End eligibility of dual-citizens in our government!! No more Chuck Schumers or Debbie Wassermans. It’s not right.

America and our people must come first, not Israel, its people or the “elite” bankers, dual citizens, and Mark Zuckerbergs of the world. Everyday Americans first!

TIM

Bohemian.com

By Tom Tomorrow

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

GLENN QUAGMIRE

Bohemian.com

Thanks Jeff I would like to take a moment to commend Attorney General Jeff Sessions for his courage to speak out about the “possible” health benefits cannabis may render and suggesting that we begin research. I know from my own experience it takes inner strength to change your opinion in such a public way, but this change of your opinion is going to have a massive impact on the Cannabis plant and allowing us to help more people heal in a wholesome and holistic manner.

Our cannabis community in Northern California is a sub-culture of creative, kind, honest, healers who feel they were placed here to serve others and make this world a brighter more sustainable place to live in. We have held strong as a community through this war on cannabis, and it has made us focused, resilient and unstoppable. Once one actually see’s what happens when a sick person they love gets healed from cannabis, there is no going back to pharmaceutical drugs that hinder the immune system, rid the body with undesired more harmful effects and mask the symptoms from the ailment.

I can’t count the number of times I have seen my client’s health shift back into balance from cancer, to depression, insomnia, chronic pain, PTSD and many more ailments that are wrecking so many in this world.

Your awareness shift leaves us feeling grateful, the more research we have the more we can help those we love, and this is the point of being here isn’t it?

SCARLET RAVIN Forestville

Write to us at letters@bohemian.com.

Rants

5 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Cannabis Odyssey Pot’s long and winding road to acceptance BY JOEL TAYLOR

T

he televised assassination of JFK in 1963 changed our lives. We had to question everything, including ourselves, knowing we couldn’t remain happy teens forever. Too young to die, we needed to feel better, to feel high as a national depression loomed. Two weeks later many of us heard the word “marijuana” for the first time.

We experimented with it and cannabis experimented with us. “Acapulco Gold” was followed the next week by “Panama Red,” two overly potent strains.

We didn’t dare complain about the overwhelming intensification of all five senses that made the former reality seem “normal.” We knew that pot was going to be a major catalyst for the changes facing us.

Forty five minutes of laughter was followed by a high of four to five hours. Music, sights, aromas, foods, and touching became more vivid, enjoyable. Then came the come-down.

The American media suppressed decades of research proving the essentiality of cannabis in countering a plethora of pathologies. Every person has tens of millions of cannanaboid receptor cells within and upon their body. We didn’t know the wars in Asia would include American pot smokers.

It would follow that parts of the road field sobriety tests would be unfair. Standing on one foot for 30 seconds is for tight rope walkers with no bearing upon operating a car safely. If your arms start to flail, say hello to jail. But research in Holland utilizing a computer model of an auto interior and windshield with a filmed set of driving challenges proved pot smokers were slightly safer than non-smokers.

Sadness, depressions, sexual impotency have been helped with cannabis. What reasons do we have to further persecute people for needing to enhance God’s wondrous natural in-born healing system?

Dr. Joel Taylor, D.C., is a retired chiropractor, craniopath, extremity adjustor and whole foods counselor.

Open Mic is a weekly feature in the ‘Bohemian.’ We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 350 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

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Paper THE

‘I’M THE BAD GUY.’ Because he grows cannabis for his aches and pains, neighbors give Walter Collings the cold shoulder.

No Pot on Purvine Sonoma’s cannabis war rages in picturesque corner of West County BY JONAH RASKIN

P

urvine Road runs for two miles from Middle Two Rock Road to Springhill Road in West Sonoma County. Barns, cows, farmhouses and barbed wire fences dot the landscape.

There are no grapevines on Purvine Road, though there are cannabis gardens.

Some residents say they’d like to grow more pot than they've grown in the past. They’ve applied for

permits from the county, and, like many others, they’ve been waiting for a long time for approval.

They might have to wait a whole lot longer. Pot prohibitionists in Sonoma County, and on Purvine Road, aim to delay and upend the permitting process.

Alexa Rae Wall, chair of the Sonoma County Growers Alliance (SCGA), doesn’t like what she sees and hears from the neighbors. A native of Texas and now a veteran California marijuana grower, she was recently zoned out of

participating in the cannabis economy. She bought another property and is now going through the permitting process.

“It’s frustrating when people reach out to me and I don’t have anything positive to say about the future of cannabis in the county,” Wall says.

At a recent public meeting, Wall listened to citizen complaints about cannabis. Then, she heard Sonoma County Supervisor David Rabbitt tell the crowd, “I would not want to live next door to a grower, either.”

Rabbit’s district includes Petaluma and Cotati, part of Rohnert Park, as well as Penngrove, Two Rock and Bloomfield. Much of his second district is zoned Land Extensive Agriculture, which means that it has large properties appropriate for commercial cannabis operations.

Purvine Road looks peaceful and even bucolic. But it’s a volatile frontier in the long-simmering culture and agriculture war that has set Sonoma County neighbor against neighbor and NIMBYs against backyard cultivators. Old bugaboos about marijuana as a dangerous drug have resurfaced as foes of weed insist it breeds crime and undermines civil order. Save Our Sonoma Neighborhoods, a leading local anti-cannabis group, was born and bred on Purvine.

“Our area is under siege,” the organization’s website insists.

SOS has promoted “commercial cannabis exclusion zones” in the very places zoned for agriculture.

SOS also calls for the county to disband its Cannabis Advisory Group, which has nearly two dozen members, claiming that the CAG is “an embarrassment to good government.”

Signs declaring “No Pot on Purvine” are tacked to gates and fence posts up and down the road; the group is a spin-off from SOS. Pot supporters say the signs are ugly. Too bad, says SOS and No Pot on Purvine, who are in communication with Preserve Rural Sonoma County, the organization formed during the recent drought to stop the spread of wine-driven event centers.

Former grape grower and winemaker, and now cannabis grower Mike Benziger worries about this looming alliance between anti-pot and anti-wine forces.

“Wine and weed are both connected to the earth and both are fighting accusations that they violate the land,” Benziger said.

He’s part of a new organization called the Sonona Valley Cannabis Enthusiasts (SCVE). In a press release announcing the group’s formation, SVCE says it will protect small growers in the nearby Sonoma Valley, influence cannabis policy and support local charities

University and has worked as a licensed caregiver for a medical cannabis patient. He sees cannabis as a civil rights and a health issue.

“I think we’re at a tipping point now, and at much the same place that the Prohibition against alcohol was at in the 1930s, when it was repealed,” he says.

“Imagine what Sonoma County would be like now if Prohibition had continued. We would have no grapes, no wine and no craft beers. Cannabis belongs in Sonoma County along with our artisan products.”

Magruder says there’s a cultural divide on Purvine Road, with NIMBYs on one side and old timers on the other. He’s a newcomer in a neighborhood where pot has been grown for decades and has a pending application to grow cannabis on his property.

“Old timers think if it’s your land you should be able to do what you want with it,” Magruder says.

“But the neighborhood is being gentrified and the gentry don’t like cannabis.”

He has invited neighbors to tour his property, but none has taken him up.

If and when his application is approved—he applied last August— Magruder plans to grow marijuana outdoors and in a greenhouse.

His weed will be fenced-in and screened with fire resistant plants.

There will also be a security system linked to the Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office.

The armed home invasions and the violence that have taken place around cannabis in the county, he notes, have all taken place at unlicensed grows sites.

According to Kimberlee Cordero, legal staff coordinator for the sheriff’s office, two homicides in the county this year were marijuanarelated while three were domesticrelated. Cordero added that it was “unknown if alcohol or any other drugs were involved.”

Sonoma County Agricultural Commissioner Tony Linegar recognizes that “marijuana is so valuable that people are willing to kill for it.”

But he doesn’t point a finger at growers. “It’s our collective failure, the feds and the whole country,” saysLinegar. “The onus is on us.”

Like Collings, Magruder is disappointed with elected officials’ reactions to the nascent pot economy. “I don’t see anyone in the county standing up and being a leader on cannabis.”

Sonoma County Supervisor Shirlee Zane, has done more than any other county official to ban cannabis grows from property zoned agriculture-residential and rural residential. Along with the work undertaken by community groups like SOS and its subsidiary, “No Pot on Purview,” Zane has gone out of her way to generate anti-pot sentiment in public comment.

In May, she spoke to the students who produce The Star, the campus newspaper at Sonoma State University. When asked about the role of the supervisors vis-à-vis cannabis, she said, “Cannabis has been, as far as I’m concerned, a real burn in the butt.”

She went on to explain that, “we’re seeing a lot of people who live in rural areas have their quality of life diminished.”

John Kagia, a marijuana industry analyst, keeps a sharp eye on Sonoma County from his perch at New Frontier, a cannabis think-tank in Washington, D.C. What does Kagia see in the future?

“A lot of turbulence. The home invasions have not driven cultivators out of the industry, but rather forced them to become increasingly invisible and minimize their exposure. It’s not what the law intended.”

Andy and Helena Martin live downhill from Collings in an octagonal house built in the 1850s that they’d like to leave to the county as an historic landmark. The Martins don't cultivate cannabis, but don’t have a problem with their pro-pot neighbors.

“Better that little people grow it than big corporations,” Helena Martin says “Keep it local.”

“No one is going to stop cannabis in California,” adds Andy Martin.

“I’d rather have it grown legally and in the open by people I know, rather than illegally and in the dark.”

Jonah Raskin is the author of ‘Marijuanaland: Dispatches from an American War.’

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as part of its mission.

The group will hold its first open meeting on June 14 at the Sonoma Grille in Sonoma as it sets out to “create the conditions in which Sonoma Valley cannabis is recognized for its best practices and cleanliness from artificial chemicals and additives,” through partnerships with area food, wine and entertainment businesses.

Meanwhile, Ayn and James Garvisch help lead the battle against pot on Purvine. Ten years ago they moved from Alameda to Sonoma County.

“I’m against pot here because it’s a violation of federal law,” James Garvisch says. “And because there’s only so much water to go around.”

The Garvisches have not been opposed to the expansion of vineyards and wineries. Garvish defines himself and his wife as “conservative capitalists and libertarians.” The family raises goats, sheep and cattle and grows vegetables as a hobby. He says he smoked pot as a teenager. “I didn’t inhale,” he laughs.

The “No Pot on Purvine” signs are so numerous, it seems everyone on Purvine is against pot.

Not so. Walter Collings is 82 years old, a hunter and fisherman who was born on Purvine and who raised sheep until coyotes killed most of his flock. Collings uses a marijuana salve for his aching joints. “I’m not a pothead,” he says.

He has grown marijuana for years and will continue to do so no matter what his neighbors say. Many no longer talk to him.

“I’m the bad guy,” he says. “Not long ago, I went down to a meeting held by the supervisor and some guys practically jumped me and wanted to know if I was going to grow pot.”

Collings is defiant about his rights.

“Last year, I grew four plants and gave away all the pot. I’ll put in six plants this year. I won’t do seven because that’s against the law. My son also grows. He gets his plants in Ukiah where they cultivate a lot of it.”

Sam Magruder lives on Purvine Road a short distance from Collings. He’s one neighbor who still talks to him. Magruder learned about cannabis at Humboldt State

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NORTH BAY BOH EM I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BO H E M I AN.COM

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Rhone Rager Inaugural Wine Road event celebrates Syrah and friends

BY JAMES KNIGHT

‘I

t’s a hand sell.” That’s the phrase I’ve heard so often applied to the business of selling Syrah, a varietal wine that has roots in the Rhône river valley in south-central France, enjoys a stellar reputation as fine wine as far afield as Southern Australia and which is made to world-class standards right here in the North Bay. Folks need a helping hand to sell it, even then? This weekend, the Wine Road lends that hand.

The Wine Road is a marketing association whose members include many, but not all, of the wineries in the Dry Creek Valley, Russian River Valley and Alexander Valley viticultural areas, as well as a good number of lodgings. By popular demand of some of their member wineries, on May 18 and 19 Wine Road debuts Esprit du Rhône, “spirit of the Rhône,” to join their popular

roster of events that includes Winter Wineland, Barrel Tasting weekends and Wine & Food Affair. The compact weekend kicks off with a walk-around wine tasting at Longboard Vineyards on Friday, May 18, from 6-8pm.

It’s an intimate setting where the winemakers are pouring and talking, so it’s limited to 100 ticket holders.

On Saturday, get out on the open Rhône road: Wine Road tells me that some 30 wineries have each pledged to have three Rhône-inspired selections on offer.

While all of the major grapes that are grown in the northern Rhône, such as the red Syrah and the white Marsanne, and the southern Rhône, where Grenache and Mourvedre dominate, were discussed in official California viticultural reports in the early 1880s, many of these grapes were only utilized in Central Valley jug wines or in field blends with Zinfandel until the 1980s.

Participating wineries include notable Rhône specialists Donelan Family Wines, Frick Winery and Sanglier Cellars; notable in their absence are non-members but Rhône-heavy Unti and Quivira.

But a few newer tasting rooms on the scene fill in the gap, including Green Valley Syrah growers Kobler (longtime suppliers to Pax and Donelan) and Leo Steen.

Danish sommelier turned winemaker Leo Hansen, who is said to make three separate Chenin Blancs in three different types of concrete egg, may seem like an odd roommate with Hart’s Desire, the easygoing, Zindandel-heavy family winery that he’s shared a Healdsburg tasting room with since late last summer, but they’ve got a kind of synergy going, according to winemaker John Hart’s daughter, Shea Siegel, who’s running the bar on a recent afternoon while Hansen’s busy in the cellar. As for selling Syrahs like Hansen’s pepper-scented, plush and polished Sonoma Mountain Syrah, Siegel says it’s more than a hand sell at first, indeed: “I have to do a little more arm twisting, and make them feel it’s safe.” Then it sells out.

Esprit de Rhône, May 18–19. $40 one day; $65 both days. 707.433.4335. www. wineroad.com. Leo Steen Wines, 53 Front Street, Healdsburg. Open Friday– Monday, 11am–4pm. 707.433.3097.

9 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BOH EMI A N.COM Dawn Huemann

Tip of the Spear

CATCH OF THE DAY

Abalone diving may be off limits but there are more fish in the sea.

Spearfishing is on the rise in local waters as abalone are off limits to recreational divers BY STETT HOLBROOK

I

t’s called spearfishing, but it’s really spear-hunting. The fish don’t come to you. You must go to them, with your finger on the trigger.

That fact became clear as soon as I dove beneath the surface into the 48-degree water in a picturesque cove north of Fort Ross. I’d been abalone diving before and once I learned to regulate my breath and stay calm, finding

and prying the mollusks off rocks was relatively easy.

Spearfishing is different. While some fish hole up under rocks and stay put, many species are on the move, which means you have to first spot them and then have the wherewithal to get close enough to take aim with your speargun, all before your breath gives out and you need to surface and start over again.

Outfitted in a 7-millimeter wetsuit, hood, booties gloves, mask, fins and

a 18-pound weight belt—and toting a menacing–looking speargun—I dove into the icy water again and again in search of my prey.

But I never fired my weapon. I spotted a few rockfish darting about, but they were too small to shoot. There was no sign of the hulking lingcod I hoped to find. My visions of a grilled fish and cold beer were not to be.

It turns out spearfishing is a lot harder than diving for abalone. ) 10

NORTH BAY BOH EM I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BO H E M I AN.COM

10

Spearfishing ( 9 My dive partner, Zeke Cissell, had better luck and plunked two black rockfish. He’s the manager at Seals Watersports in Santa Rosa and a veteran diver.

Seals is Santa Rosa’s outpost for spearfishing gear as well as scuba and surfing supplies. Cissell took me out last year on my first ab dive, too. While I was hunting for abalone, he was spearfishing. He enjoys the challenge and says he likes the taste of fish better than abalone. Cleaning a fish is easier than butchering an abalone, he adds.

A few months after my first ab dive last year, state regulators closed the season to recreational divers this year in hopes of helping the embattled shellfish recover.

Now spearfishing is the only game in town for divers who want to capture their dinner.

All you need is a regular sportfishing license. Abalone diving season usually begins in April, but according to local dive shops, interest in spearfishing is spiking as seasoned abalone divers pick up spearguns and newcomers like me take up the sport.

“We’ve definitely seen an uptick,” says Tom Stone, owner of Rohnert Park’s Sonoma Coast Divers. “We have many people coming in just because of their love of the water.”

While I got skunked, I’m eager to go back. Fish or no fish, spearfishing offers passage into an underwater world most of us never get to see. While I spied precious few fish, I saw iridescent, waving anenomes, starfish and more than a few hefty abalone that will be left in peace for at least the next year, poachers notwithstanding.

But mostly what I saw were purple urchins. Thousands of them carpeted the rocks like tiny cacti. The proliferation of the spiny buggers is part of the reason for the abalone’s demise.

The urchins gobbled up most of the kelp, which is abalone’s primary food source. Aided by the die-off of urchin-eating sea stars and warming ocean temperatures,

the exploding population of urchins has transformed what was an undersea garden into the equivalent of a clear-cut forest.

While the underwater scene is beautiful to behold, it’s a landscape that has been transformed. Now the nacreous shells of abalone that starved to death litter the ocean floor.

Spearfishing offers passage into into an underwater world most of us never get to see—and a free dinner.

On Memorial Day, the Waterman’s Alliance is organizing an urchin gathering dive at Ocean Cove to try collect as many urchins as possible in hopes of getting kelp to grow back and coax the abalone population back to health.

Fortunately, the urchins (which are edible) have not affected the rockfish population, which Stone says is growing in number thanks to the creation of California’s network of Marine Protected Areas (MPA), zones of protected marine life and habitat.

The North Bay’s MPA is the North Central California MPA, and it runs from Point Arena to Pigeon Point in San Mateo County. In addition to lingcod and black rockfish, sought-after species for spearfishing include cabezon, vermillion and sanddwelling halibut.

For newcomers like me, Cissell recommends going out with a buddy to spots with easy access, like Stillwater Cove

11 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BOH EMI A N.COM

SHAKA AND A SMILE You’d be hanging loose, too, if you had a stringer of lingcod like spearfisherman and Seals Watersports manager Zeke Cissell.

and Fort Ross. Better yet, take a class. Sonoma Coast Divers and Petaluma’s Red Triangle Spearfishing offer courses that teach diving and breath-holding techniques, as well as water safety.

Parviz Boostani, co-owner of the menacingly named Red Triangle Spearfishing in Petaluma, says interest in the sport is growing following the abalone ban. The shop offers a free-diving (no scuba) certification class.

“People still love to get out on the ocean,” he says. “The only alternative is spearfishing. It’s a different kind of hunt.”

OK, what about sharks? Well, they’re out there. Stone suggests

avoiding drop-offs and pinnacles where great white sharks sometimes lurk. Cue the John Williams score.

Sharks are known to inhabit deep waters and ambush prey in shallower depths. But Stone says attacks are rare. “You’re more likely to die driving off a cliff getting up there” to Fort Ross, he says.

Cissell tries to not think about sharks, given the low odds of an encounter. Diving at shallower depths can further minimize the risk.

“You don’t have to go super deep to get what’s on our coast.”

Even though I was diving at 25 feet or less, I felt better facing

into deeper water with the shore behind me, lest I get surprised with my back turned.

“That’s the risk,” says Boostani.

“You’re in their world.”

Boostani likes to go deep and hunt in waters he knows are sketchy. After his friend was attacked by a shark in Monterey last year, he now wears a Shark Shield. The $500 device is worn around a diver’s ankle and sends out an electromagnetic pulse that is supposed to deter a hungry shark.

“That makes me feel a heck of a lot better,” he says.

For Stone, the risks and enjoyment that come with spearfishing are worth the

risk, especially if you go home with dinner.

“Fresh seafood is more expensive than ever,” he says, Heck yeah, it is.

Back in the cove with Cissell, he looked like an underwater commando with a flashlight strapped to his wrist and knife on his ankle. He uses the light to peer into dark holes and crevices in search of lunkers.

“You’re looking for a pair of eyes looking back at you.”

I saw no eyes. Cissell took pity on me after I came up emptyhanded and gave me his fish. I got to enjoy fresh fish and cold beer after all. The fish were small, and made for great tacos. I’m hooked.

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THE WEEK’S EVENTS: A SELECTIVE GUIDE PENNGROVE

SONOMA

CALISTOGA

Rise to the Occasion

Get Down

Cultural Crossroads

Jazz in the Afternoon

Currently exhibiting at the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art, “Ship of Dreams: Artists, Poets & Visionaries of the S.S. Vallejo” examines how a docked ferry in 1949 Sausalito became one of the Bay Area’s biggest artistic hubs, housing luminaries like Jean Varda and Allen Ginsberg in its 20 years. This weekend, two events offer an even closer look. On Saturday, May 19, beat poet Gerd Stern appears in conversation with biographer Neeli Cherkovski to talk about his time on the ship (3pm, $35). On Sunday, May 20, ‘Pairings: Art + Wine + Poetry’ welcomes a bevy of poets and winemakers to party (4pm, $45). 551 Broadway, Sonoma.

707.939.7862.

Napa Valley’s Tucker Farm Center has long been a community gathering spot that’s placed an emphasis on promoting agriculture. Built in 1920 and named for 19th century North Bay settler Reason P Tucker (best know for leading several expeditions to rescue the Donner Party), the Tucker Farm Center is an all-wood venue that boasts warm acoustics and plenty of room to move, which is good since Napa vocalist Kellie Fuller and Hammond B3 organ master Wayne DeLaCruz are teaming up for a concert of jazz and blues favorites to raise funds for the center on Sunday, May 20, 1201 Tucker Rd, Calistoga. 3pm. $25. 707.774.1672.

Though it’s a traditional dating back 124 years, the annual Luther Burbank Rose Parade & Festival still feels as fresh as a rose each May when it celebrates the local community in downtown Santa Rosa with floats, marching bands, equestrian teams and local veterans.

This year’s event takes on a special meaning, as the theme, “Together We Rose,” remembers the impacts of last October’s wildfires and commemorates the region’s commitment to rebuilding and recovery. The roses are out when the parade and festival happen on Saturday, May 19, at Courthouse Square, Fourth St and Mendocino Ave, Santa Rosa. 10am.

Free. roseparadefestival.com.

SHAPE OF PUNK Groundbreaking punk band Against Me! plays the Mystic Theatre & Music Hall in Petaluma as part of a West Coast tour on Sunday, May 20.

See concerts, pg 18.

First established as a roadside plant stand on the Sonoma County Farm Trail, Artful Arrangements has evolved into a charity group that hosts agriculturallybased events aimed at connecting parents and kids though hands-on activities. This weekend, the nonprofit hosts its fourth annual Down Home Day, in which families can partake in games and outdoor fun at a picturesque homestead. The afternoon includes live music from the likes of Scott Gerber and the Spyralites, and contests and raffles raise money to help Artful Arrangements offer more family fun. Saturday, May 19, Petaluma Homestead Gardens, 205 Orchard Ln, Penngrove, 11am to 4pm.

Free admission. artfularrangements.org.

—Charlie Swanson

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S A N TA R O S A

Arts Ideas Dave Rempe

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EXTREME ART Humboldt County artist Duane Flatmo’s 2005 sculpture “Extreme Makeover” graces the cover of a

new book on the Kinectic Sculpture Race.

Triathlon of Art Kinetic Sculpture Race in Humboldt turns 50 BY CHARLIE SWANSON

W

hile it may not be widely known about outside of Humboldt County, the annual Kinetic Sculpture Race has taken on cultlike status in the Northern California communities of Arcata, Eureka, Ferndale and everywhere in between.

Marking its 50th year this Memorial Day weekend, the

Kinetic Sculpture Race is a human-powered trek over land, sand and water that covers more than 40 miles and lasts three days. Participants in teams of up to a dozen must design, build and pedal their artistic creations on wheels. These creations can take on the forms of imaginative creatures and contraptions, and the event has become a pastime for many artists and makers in the area, including Santa Rosa artist and teacher Dawn Thomas.

“We started building kinetic

sculptures before we knew about the race,” says Thomas, who had previously designed mobile works of art for events like the Rivertown Revival in Petaluma with her partner Bob. Once she heard about the race, Thomas knew she had to participate. After her first race in 2014, she was hooked.

“We’ve been racing ever since,” she says. “It’s kind of a profound cultural experience to be somewhere that’s had a race for three generations. Everybody

knows about it, everywhere you go you’re a celebrity because you’re in the race, and all the people in the race are lovely. A lot of them are lifers.”

Soon after joining the ranks, Thomas looked around for a book on the subject, but found virtually nothing documenting the event. “I could see it in my head; a giant coffee table book with all these pictures and all this history,” she says.

For more than three years, Thomas made it her mission to track down hundreds of stories and compile hundreds of never-before-seen photos for the new 600-page book Kinetic Kompendium: 50 Years of Kinetic Sculpture Racing.

“I think I was the right person to come along at the right time in a way,” says Thomas.

Thomas dug through newspaper archives, interviewed countless people and combed through boxes in attics throughout Northern California to find the various ephemera that makes up the “Kompendium.”

Thomas would ideally like to see something similar to the Kinetic Sculpture Race take place in Sonoma County. “I feel like if it was done correctly, it would be a tremendous success,” she says. “We have the bike-builders, people who want to do outdoor sports, people who are creative.”

Until then, anyone with an interest in the race will enjoy thumbing through the Kinetic Kompendium and should consider traveling to Humboldt to see the race first hand. “There are so many amazing images out there of this race,” says Thomas. “It’s a spectacle.”

The 2018 Kinetic Sculpture Race kicks off on Friday, May 26, in Arcata. Get info on the race at kineticgrandchampionship.com. Buy the book at kinetickompendium.com.

Ups and Downs

Yucks and doom on display in two new plays BY HARRY DUKE

F

emale protagonists in peril are the focus of one silly and one melancholy production running now on North Bay stages.

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707.546.3600. 'Eurydice’ runs through June 2 at Main Stage West, 104 N. Main St., Sebastopol. Thu–Sat, 8pm; Sun. at 5pm. $15–$30. 707.823.0177

Disguise the Limit

CHARLES LLOYD

NT

Left Edge Theatre’s Women in Jeopardy! is a laugh-out-loud look at the changing dynamic among a group of single friends once one of them begins a relationship.

That the friends are middle-aged women makes for a nice change of pace.

Mary (Shannon Rider) and Jo (Sandra Ish) are having a tough time adjusting to a new addition to their circle of friends. Their friend Liz (Angela Squire) has a new man in her life and Jackson (Richard Pallaziol) is not quite their cup of tea. He’s a dentist who makes Little

If Greek mythology is more to your taste, then Main Stage West has a production of Sarah Ruhl’s Eurydice running through June 2.

Ruhl has flipped the focus of the classic tale of Orpheus (Taylor Diffenderfer) and his quest to bring his wife Eurydice (Brianna Rene Dinges) back from the dead to Eurydice’s time in the underworld and her relationship with her father (John Craven).

Director Chris Ginesi flips it even further with the nontraditional casting of Orpheus that while seeming to fit Ruhl’s alternative world of raining elevators, a tricycle-riding Lord of the Underworld (Neil Thollander) and a Greek chorus of Talking Stones (mollie boice, Nick Christenson, Samantha BolkeSlater), actually detracts from it.

It’s a visually arresting piece with inventive design elements that complement the script’s otherworldliness and the performances are good, but there’s a hole in the heart of this production.

Rating (out of five)

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Shop of Horrors’ Orin Scrivello, DDS look like a pussycat. His hygienist has gone missing and it doesn’t take long for Mary and Liz to leap to the conclusion that he’s the responsible party. What do you do when your best friend is dating a serial killer?

Director Carla Spindt deftly guides these wine-swilling ladies through their hijinks, with Ish’s frequently flabbergasted secondbanana Jo garnering a lot of laughs with just a look. Pallaziol is hilariously creepy as Jackson and equally amusing as a Dudley DoRight-ish police sergeant. Victoria Saitz as Mary’s daughter and Zane Walters as her cougar-hunting on again/off again boyfriend also contribute to the fun.

There’s no great message to be found here, just a lot of laughs.

Rating (out of five)

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MERC WITH A MOUTH Ryan Reynolds is back as the smart-alec

superhero Deadpool.

Armed and Ludicrous Deadpool is back

BY RICHARD VON BUSACK

A

s if it were Honest Movie Trailers—The Movie, Deadpool 2 leavens the hit-making Marvel mix of fight scenes, flashbacks and explosions with penis jokes. Protagonist Wade Wilson (the ultra-bro, Ryan Reynolds) was a mercenary. He was left with a complexion like a Costco cheese pizza after a forcible gene-scrambling experiment intended to cure his stage four cancer. Now he’s the killer Deadpool: hooded, crosssworded, armed and ludicrous.

His superpower is bouncing back after extreme dismemberment.

Deadpool is the most cartoony of cartoon heroes, the one who owes the most to Chuck Jones and Tex Avery. He clowns before a longgone fourth wall. At one point he describes a clue as “a huge steaming bowl of foreshadowing.” The baseball goes so inside that there’s even a reference to the way Deadpool creator Rob Liefeld drew figures with Dumpster-sized chests and skinny footless legs.

Deadpool’s frenemy here is Cable (James Brolin) so thoroughly ripped from The Terminator that Deadpool even calls him “John Connor.” Strangely, Brolins’s jaw is a little scarier without the CG chin-augmentation he had in Avengers:Infinity War. The highlight is a Vancouver super-truck rampage with Deadpool at the wheel, upside down and ass-forward. He’s helped by the movie’s standout Zazie Beetz as Domino, who has a new kind of super-power, supernatural luck: nothing ever falls on her head, even when it’s raining automobiles.

The film is not as overfilling as the first Deadpool, and from a nerd standpoint it has a little more respect for the chrome giant Colossus (Stefan Kapicic) than its predecessor.

The downside is that Monica Baccarin, who gave the first Deadpool a strong romantic twist, is mushy here. She wants to be a mom and spends her time in the movie in a sort of heavenly purdah. When she says, “The baby factory is open for business.” the line goes beyond cute and into the realm of something written by someone a little unsure of how babies are made—which fits given the middle school humor that pervades the movie.

‘Deadpool 2’ opens Friday in wide North Bay release

David McClister

GOOD TIME MUSIC ‘I get carried away,’ says Steve Wariner, ‘but it sure is fun.’

Maps & Highways Steve Wariner brings his charttopping music to Mill Valley

BY CHARLIE SWANSON

T

wenty albums and five decades into his career, Nashvillebased guitarist, songwriter and Grammy Award– winning country music veteran Steve Wariner is making the most of his freedom to tour the globe and make music the way he wants.

“I’m in a place now in my career and life where I just kind of do what makes me smile and makes me happy,” Wariner says. “I would never get away with some of the things I record and do on albums

Steve Wariner performs on Sunday, May 20, at Sweetwater Music Hall, 19 Corte Madera Ave, Mill Valley. 8pm. $37-$42. 415.388.3850.

17 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Music

now 10 or 15 years ago when I was on major labels.”

Though Wariner is not on the radio as much as he was when he scored number one hits on Billboard’s Hot Country Chart for tunes like 1987’s “Small Town Girl” or 1998’s “What If I Said” alongside Anita Cochran, he says he savors being able to write and play a diverse blend of country, bluegrass, soul and pop; all of which were featured on 2016’s All Over the Map. “It seems like people really enjoy what I’m doing,” he says. “And I love the freedom to be the captain of my own ship, so to speak.”

All Over the Map features 10 originals and five instrumentals, and over the album’s dozen tracks, Wariner stylistically diverts down several alleys of folk and roots music, and he welcomes several guest artists along for the ride, including Rock & Roll Hall of Fame guitarist Duane Eddy, former Allman Brothers guitarist Jack Pearson and longtime friend and mandolin master Ricky Skaggs.

The late Merle Haggard even makes an appearance, as Wariner revisits a song he and Haggard cowrote in 1996 called, “When I Still Mattered To You.” “I’ve enjoyed all kinds of music through my personal life,” says Wariner. “I get that love from my father. His record collection was all over the place. This album turned out to be a reflection of all the things I love.”

Wariner is able to record in his Nashville-area home studio, dubbed “Twangra-La,” and compares the process of making a record to a mad scientist in a laboratory. “I probably get a little more self-indulgent than I should.

I get carried away. But it sure is fun.”

Wariner heads to the North Bay for a solo show on May 20, at Sweetwater Music Hall in Mill Valley. He promises to tell the stories of his songs, and his career, as he works through his set-list.

Music

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Golden State Warriors vs Houston Rockets

Conference Finals Game 2 On The Patio & Cafe Thu 5⁄17 • Doors 7pm ⁄ $25–$30 • All Ages Louisiana Love Act featuring Phil Colombatto, Mark Karan, Mookie Siegel, Wally Ingram, Robin Sylvester, and the LA Horns (from Aretha Franklin & Marvin Gaye bands) + Special Guests

Fri 5⁄18 • Doors 8pm ⁄ $30–$34 • 21+

The Purple Ones

Insatiable Tribute to Prince Thu 5⁄19 • Doors 8pm ⁄ $17–$22 • All Ages "What's next in Nashville" —NPR, toured with Tim & Faith, Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan

Maggie Rose + Simon Lunche Sun 5⁄20 • Doors 5pm ⁄ FREE • All Ages

Golden State Warriors vs Houston Rockets

Conference Finals Game 3 On The Patio & Cafe Sun 5⁄20 • Doors 7pm ⁄ $37–$42 • All Ages 4-Time Grammy Winning Country Music Icon Steve Wariner (seated) Mon 5⁄21 • Doors 7pm ⁄ $40–$45 • 21+

John Popper + Matt Jaffe

Tue 5⁄22 • Doors 7pm ⁄ 12– 15 • All Ages $

MOUTHS OF BABES SEATED SHOW

$15–20/DOORS 7/SHOW 8/21+

WWW.HOPMONK.COM Book your

next event with us, up to 250, kim@hopmonk.com

SONOMA COUNTY Against Me!

SAT, JUN 16 TRIBUTE TO

Concerts

$

Andy Frasco & The U.N. + Mendonesia

www.sweetwatermusichall.com 19 Corte Madera Ave, Mill Valley Café 388-1700 | Box Office 388-3850

Fronted by Laura Jane Grace, formerly known as Tom Gabel, the long-running punk band defies expectations and breaks all the rules. May 20, 7:30pm. $23-$25. Mystic Theatre & Music Hall, 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma, 707.775.6048.

NAPA COUNTY Chris Standring

Contemporary jazz and R&B guitarist with multiple Billboard chart-topping hits plays an album-release show for his new album, “Sunlight.”

May 19, 7:30 and 9:30pm. $20$45. Blue Note Napa, 1030 Main St, Napa, 707.603.1258.

“Weird Al” Yankovic

World’s greatest musical satirist performs as part of “The Ridiculously SelfIndulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour,” with special guest Emo Philips. May 20, 8pm. $65-$90.

Uptown Theatre, 1350 Third St, Napa, 707.259.0123.

Clubs SONOMA COUNTY A’Roma Roasters

May 18, Jon Gonzales Stringband. May 19, Bob & Brandon. 95 Fifth St, Santa Rosa, 707.576.7765.

Aqus Cafe

May 18, David Hamilton Trio.

May 19, Tangled Up in Blue Band. May 20, Gary Vogensen & the Ramble Band. 189 H St, Petaluma, 707.778.6060.

Arlene Francis Center

May 19, 5pm, art show & sale with Tristan and Kamrin Matlock, the Impressions and Kurupi. 99 Sixth St, Santa Rosa, 707.528.3009.

Art Museum of Sonoma County

May 20, 2pm, mini-concert with Dirty Cello and flamenco guitarist David Paez. 425 Seventh St, Santa Rosa, 707.579.1500.

The Big Easy

May 17, Used Goods. May 18,

the Pulsators. May 19, Mojo Green. May 20, Orion’s Joy of Sextet. May 22, Eric Morrison & the Mysteries. May 23, Wednesday Night Big Band.

128 American Alley, Petaluma, 707.776.7163.

BR Cohn Winery

May 20, 2pm, Falcon Christopher. 15000 Sonoma Hwy, Glen Ellen, 707.938.4064.

Brewsters Beer Garden May 17, the Wildcat Mountain Ramblers. May 18, Matt Bolton.

May 19, 2 and 6pm, Blithedale Canyon and the BuZZ. May 20, 3pm, Dirty Red Barn. 229 Water St N, Petaluma, 707.981.8330.

Cellars of Sonoma

May 20, 2pm, Dustin Saylor.

20 Matheson Ave, Healdsburg, 707.578.1826.

Crooked Goat Brewing

May 19, 3pm, Acoustic Soul. 120 Morris St, Ste 120, Sebastopol, 707.827.3893.

Elephant in the Room May 17, the Marshall House Project. May 18, Temptation.

May 19, Rancho Deluxe. May 20, 6pm, the Aqua Velvets.

177-A Healdsburg Ave, Healdsburg.

Flamingo Lounge

May 18, Rock & Roll Rhythm Review. May 19, Poyntlyss Sistars. 2777 Fourth St, Santa Rosa, 707.545.8530.

Geyserville Gun Club Bar & Lounge May 19, Time & Materials.

21025 Geyserville Ave, Geyserville, 707.814.0036.

Gundlach Bundschu Winery

May 16, 6:30pm, Washed Out. 2000 Denmark St, Sonoma, 707.938.5277.

HopMonk Sebastopol

May 18, Parcivillian. May 19, Sharkmouth with Caitlin Jemma & the Goodness and Miss Moonshine. May 21, DJ Smoky. May 23, Making Movies and Alex Cuba. 230 Petaluma Ave, Sebastopol, 707.829.7300.

HopMonk Sonoma

Healdsburg, 707.431.2800.

Lagunitas Tap Room

May 16, Jon Gonzales Stringband. May 17, Z and the Benders. May 18, the Jones Gang. May 19, the String Rays.

May 20, Blues Bottle Band. May 23, Flowtilla. 1280 N McDowell Blvd, Petaluma, 707.778.8776.

Local Barrel

May 19, 8pm, Blues Defenders.

May 20, 5pm, Joe Clopton. 490 Mendocino Ave #104, Santa Rosa, 707.890.5433.

Main Street Bistro

May 18, the Fargo Brothers.

May 19, Bad Ass Boots. May 20, Acoustic Embers. 16280 Main St, Guerneville, 707.869.0501.

Many Rivers Books & Tea May 17, Facing East Trio featuring John Wubbenhorst.

130 S Main St, Sebastopol, 707.829.8871.

Murphy’s Irish Pub & Restaurant

May 18, Solid Air. 464 First St E, Sonoma, 707.935.0660.

Mystic Theatre & Music Hall

May 18, Asleep At the Wheel and Willy Tea Taylor. May 19, Petty Theft. May 22, Rodney Atkins with Mark Mackay. 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma, 707.775.6048.

The Phoenix Theater

May 18, Kitten Drunk with Moon Sick and Sabaxtaros. May 19, X-Method and Incredulous.

May 23, Fall Children and Rational Dads. 201 Washington St, Petaluma, 707.762.3565.

Pub Republic

May 19, Michelle Lambert.

3120 Lakeville Hwy, Petaluma, 707.782.9090.

Redwood Cafe

May 17, Dangermuffin. May 18, Tom Rigney & Flambeau. May 19, Misner & Smith. May 20, 5pm, Gold Coast Jazz Band.

May 22, Pop-Up Jazz Jam with Debra Anderson. 8240 Old Redwood Hwy, Cotati, 707.795.7868.

The Reel Fish Shop & Grill May 20, 12pm, Vox Populi spring concert. 401 Grove St, Sonoma, 707.343.0044.

May 18, Dawn Angelosante and Tony Gibson. May 19, Sean Carscadden. May 20, 1pm, Mike Cunningham. 691 Broadway, Sonoma, 707.935.9100.

Remy’s Bar & Lounge

Hotel Healdsburg

May 18, Hoptown Road Rally.

May 19, Bob Dylan celebration with THUGZ. 14540 Canyon 2

May 19, 6:30pm, Gaea Schell Trio. 25 Matheson St,

May 19, Andre Nickatina. 130 Stony Point Rd, Santa Rosa, 707.578.1963.

Rio Nido Roadhouse

Rd, Rio Nido, 707.869.0821.

Sebastopol Community Center

Sonoma Speakeasy May 17, Plan Be. May 18, Ragtag Sullivan. May 19, Bow Hammer Skins. May 20, 5pm, Jon Shannon Williams. May 20, 8:30pm, Sonoma blues jam. May 22, American roots night with Lou Rodriguez and friends. 452 First St E, Ste G, Sonoma, 707.996.1364.

Sonoma Valley Regional Library May 19, 2pm, Ancient Future with Matthew Montfort and Vishal Nagar. 755 W Napa St, Sonoma, 707.939.0379.

Spancky’s Bar May 18, Tommy Odetto. 8201 Old Redwood Hwy, Cotati, 707.664.0169.

The Star May 19, Neighborhood Brats and Brown Bags. 6957 Sebastopol Ave, Sebastopol, 707.634.6390.

Twin Oaks Roadhouse May 18, the Dream Farmers.

May 19, the Grain. 5745 Old Redwood Hwy, Penngrove, 707.795.5118.

Whiskey Tip May 17, open vinyl night. May 18, Whitecliff Rangers. May 19, Family Room silent disco. 1910 Sebastopol Rd, Santa Rosa, 707.843.5535.

MARIN COUNTY Angelico Hall May 19, 8pm and , May 20, 2pm, Beethoven Symphony No 9 with Mill Valley Philharmonic.

Dominican University, 50 Acacia Ave, San Rafael, millvalleyphilharmonic.org.

College of Marin James Dunn Theatre May 20, 3pm, Golden Gate Brass Band. 835 College Ave, Kentfield, 415.485.9385.

Fenix May 17, Kayla Gold Student Showcase. May 18, Stax City. May 19, Chick Jagger.

919 Fourth St, San Rafael, 415.813.5600.

HopMonk Novato May 17, Marin School of the Arts rock bands. May 18, San Francisco Airship. May 19, Danny Click & the Hell Yeahs.

224 Vintage Way, Novato, 415.892.6200.

May 16, One Grass Two Grass. May 23, Todos Santos.

765 Center Blvd, Fairfax, 415.485.1005.

Key Tea

May 18, Fia with Tiana. May 19, Deva Seva and Bhakti Rock. 921 C St, San Rafael, 808.428.3233.

L’Appart Resto

May 17, Todos Santos. 636 San Anselmo Ave, San Anselmo, 415.256.9884.

Marin Center Veterans Memorial Auditorium May 19, Harmony Sweepstakes A Cappella Festival National Finals. 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael, 415.473.6800.

Marin Country Mart

May 18, 6pm, Friday Night Jazz with Masha Campagne. May 20, 12:30pm, Folkish Festival with Blithedale Canyon. 2257 Larkspur Landing Circle, Larkspur, 415.461.5700.

Mt Tamalpais United Methodist Church

May 20, 5pm, Marin Music Chest Young Artists Concert.

410 Sycamore Ave, Mill Valley, marinmusicchest.org.

No Name Bar

May 16, Humdinger Band.

May 17, Michael LaMacchia Band. May 18, Michael Aragon Quartet. May 19, Chris Saunders Band. May 20, Pardon the Interruption. May 21, Kimrea & the Dreamdogs. May 23, Matt Bushman and Austin Presley.

757 Bridgeway, Sausalito, 415.332.1392.

Papermill Creek Saloon

May 16, Kevin Meade and Ethan Wiley. May 17, Tiger Lyn & the Twins. May 18, Motorboat.

May 19, the Incubators. May 20, Buddy Owen Band. May 21, Jeremy D’Antonio. 1 Castro, Forest Knolls, 415.488.9235.

Rancho Nicasio

May 18, the LoWatters. May 19, Annie Sampson Band. May 20, Emily Bonn & the Vivants.

1 Old Rancheria Rd, Nicasio, 415.662.2219.

Sweetwater Music Hall

May 17, Louisiana Love Act featuring Phil Colombatto and friends. May 18, the Purple Ones. May 19, Maggie Rose and Simon Lunche. May 20, Steve Wariner. May 21, John Popper.

May 22, Andy Frasco & the UN. May 23, Bob Dylan birthday show with Shakey Zimmerman and friends. 19 Corte Madera Ave, Mill Valley, 415.388.3850.

19

Terrapin Crossroads

May 16, Colonel & the Mermaids. May 17, Ross James’ Cosmic Thursday. May 18, Jennifer Hartswick & Nick Cassarino. May 19, Sean Hayes.

May 20, Dangermuffin and Midnight North. May 23, Todd Snider. 100 Yacht Club Dr, San Rafael, 415.524.2773.

Ambrosia at Silos Napa, May 19

SUN, JUNE 3

Karen Peterson: Connecting with the Afterlife

NAPA COUNTY Andaz Napa

May 19, David Ronconi. May 23, Vince Costanza. 1450 First St, Napa, 707.687.1234.

Blue Note Napa

May 17, the Coffis Brothers & the Mountain Men. May 18, Delvon Lamarr Organ Trio. May 23, Miles Davis birthday tribute with Jazz Mafia. 1030 Main St, Napa, 707.603.1258.

3 NEW SHOWS

Rare opportunity to see this band LIVE in a small venue.

ON SALE FRI 5/18 @ NOON

THU, AUGUST 9

Meet and Greet included with 7pm show.

Jim Gaffigan: The Fixer Upper Tour SECOND SHOW ADDED!

70’s hits include: How Much I Feel and Biggest Part of Me

THU, SEPTEMBER 6

Adv: $100 and $75

Josh Turner

Buster’s Southern Barbecue

May 20, 3pm, Rob Watson and friends featuring Vernon Black.

1207 Foothill Blvd, Calistoga, 707.942.5605.

FRI, OCTOBER 19

Parcast: Serial Killers Live On Stage!

Ca’ Momi Osteria

May 18, Latin Nights with DJ Jose Miguel. May 19, Roots Man Project. 1141 First St, Napa, 707.224.6664.

530 Main Street, Napa 707.251.5833 | silosnapa.com

707.546.3600 lutherburbankcenter.org

Deco Lounge at Capp Heritage Vineyards

May 19, Three on a Match. 1245 First St, Napa, 707.254.1922.

Downtown Joe’s Brewery & Restaurant May 18, People of Earth. 902 Main St, Napa, 707.258.2337.

JaM Cellars Ballroom at the Margrit Mondavi Theatre

May 20, 4pm, VOENA: Voices of Yesterday. 1030 Main St, Napa, 707.880.2300.

River Terrace Inn

May 17, Nate Lopez. May 18, Craig Corona. May 20, Smorgy.

1600 Soscol Ave, Napa, 707.320.9000.

Silo’s

May 17, Vintage High School Jazz Band. May 18, Carlos Reyes and friends. May 19, Ambrosia. May 20, 4pm, Antsy McClain with Michael McNevin. 530 Main St, Napa, 707.251.5833.

Tucker Farm Center

May 20, 3pm, Kellie Fuller and the Wayne DeLaCruz Quartet.

1201 Tucker Rd, Calistoga, 707.942.9695.

Uptown Theatre

May 19, Pink Floyd Laser Spectacular. 1350 Third St, Napa, 707.259.0123.

FREE LOCAL LIVE MUSIC GIGS LIVE MUSIC. NEW STAGE AND SOUND. NEW DANCE FLOOR. NEW AIR CONDITIONING. SUDS TAPS - 18 LOCAL & REGIONAL SELECT CRAFT BEERS & CIDERS. EATS NEW MENU, KITCHEN OPEN ALL DAY FROM 11AM ON. CHECK OUT OUR AWARD WINNING BABY BACK RIBS. DIGS DINING OUT-DOORS. KIDS ALWAYS WELCOME - NEW KID’S MENU. RESERVATIONS FOR 8 OR MORE. HAPPY HOUR M-F 3-6PM. $2 CHICKEN, PORK OR BEEF TACOS. $3 HOUSE CRAFT BEERS. CALENDAR WED MAY 16 • HONKY TONK NIGHT WITH THE TWIN OAKS GEAR JAMMERS EVERY 1ST AND 3RD WEDNESDAY 7:30PM / ALL AGES / FREE

Outdoor Dining Sat & Sun Brunch 11–3

Lunch & Dinner 7 Days a Week

Din n er & A Show

May 18 Lowatters Fri

High Lonesome Twang to Lowdown Roots 8:00 / No Cover

Sampson Band May 19 Annie Rock, Blues, R&B 8:30 Sun May 20 Emily Bonn & The Vivants Sat

Old TIme Swing to Honky Tonk 5:00 / No Cover

Fri

May 25 Sat

Illeagles Weekend

Bay Area’s Premier Eagles Tribute Band

May 26 8:30

BBQs on the Lawn are Back!

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Memorial Day Weekend

May 27 Pablo Cruise

THU MAY 17 • COUNTRY LINE DANCE EVERY 1ST AND 3RD THURSDAY 7PM / ALL AGES / $10

Sun

FRI MAY 18 • THE DREAM FARMERS AN EVENING WITH 2 SETS! 8PM / 21+ / FREE

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Sun

SAT MAY 19 • THE GRAIN AN EVENING WITH 2 SETS! 8PM / 21+ / FREE CHECK OUT OUR FULL MUSIC CALENDAR www.TwinOaksRoadhouse.com Phone 707.795.5118 5745 Old Redwood Hwy Penngrove, CA 94951

Mon

May 28

+ Burrows and Dilbeck

Wonder Bread 5

Jun 17 Father’s Day

Elvin Bishop

Jun 24 Annual Beatle Q with The Sun Kings Sun

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sun

4th of July Weekend

Jul 1

Stoned Soul Picnic

Blues Broads / Sons of the Soul Revivers Wed 4 The Zydeco Flames Jul Reservations Advised

415.662.2219

On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BOH EMI A N.COM

May 18, Joe Craven & the Sometimers. 390 Morris St, Sebastopol, 707.823.1511.

Iron Springs Pub & Brewery

NORTH BAY BOH EM I AN | MAY 1 6-22, 20 1 8 | BO H E M I AN.COM

20

Arts Events Gallery Dance Openings Harmonia

SONOMA COUNTY Fulton Crossing May 18, “Fulton Crossing Open Studios,” this month features two new shows, “A Conspiracy for Hope” by Cari Hernandez and “Urban Garden” by Jill Keller Peters. Reception, May 18 at 5pm. 1200 River Rd, Fulton. Sat-Sun, noon to 5pm 707.536.3305.

Pie Eyed Open Studio May 19-20, “Lex Rudd & Arthur Poore,” exciting weekend featuring the extraordinary costumes and puppetry of Lex Rudd paired with the dreamlike jigsaw puzzles of Arthur Poore. 2371 Gravenstein Hwy S, Sebastopol. Sat-Sun, 12pm to 4pm 707.477.9442.

MARIN COUNTY Marin Art & Garden Center May 20-Jun 24, “Celebrating Trees,” botanical art exhibit focuses on all aspects of trees, from bark to fruit. Reception, May 20 at 3pm. 30 Sir Francis Drake Blvd, Ross. 415.455.5260.

Comedy Philip Kopczynski Corporate stiff turned comedian and author appears for a night of laughs. May 19, 7pm. $28. The Laugh Cellar, 5755 Mountain Hawk Way, Santa Rosa, 707.843.3824.

Team Trivia Contest Jeopardy style questions, songs and visuals hosted by comedian Clark Peterson.

May 18, 7pm. $3. The Club at McInnis Park, 350 Smith Ranch Rd, San Rafael, 415.492.1800.

Tuesday Night Live See standup comedians Eddie Brill, Betsy Salkind, Donald Lacy, Danny Felts and others. May 22, 8pm. $17-$27.

Throckmorton Theatre, 142 Throckmorton Ave, Mill Valley, 415.383.9600.

Sun, May 20, 3:45pm, Flamenco Class with Wine & Tapas. $20.

2200 Marinship Way, Sausalito 415.332.1432.

Marin Center Veterans Memorial Auditorium

May 20, 2pm, Just Dance Academy Spring Performance. $22-$27. 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael 415.473.6800.

Napa Valley Performing Arts Center at Lincoln Theater

May 19, 7pm, 30: A Napa Regional Dance Company Production, celebrating 30 years of diverse artistic style in classical ballet and contemporary. $25. 100 California Dr, Yountville 707.944.9900.

Raven Theater

May 19, 7pm and May 20, 2pm, Dorothy in the Land of Oz, Teresa Lubarsky’s Healdsburg Ballet presents the classic tale onstage. $15-$22. 115 North St, Healdsburg 707.433.3145.

Whistlestop

Wed, May 23, 2pm, Line Dancing at Whistlestop, everyone is welcome to join the line-up for this dance party. $5. 930 Tamalpais Ave, San Rafael 415.456.9062.

Events Art in the Park

The Marin Valley Resident Artists invite the public to an afternoon of art, farmers market fare, demonstrations and more. May 20, 12pm.

Free admission. Marin Valley Country Club, 100 Marin Valley Drive, Novato, 415.883.5911.

Bon Air Spring Fair & Market

More than 70 local farms and food producers offer demonstrations and samplings, with sidewalk specials, music, children’s entertainment and more. May 19, 11am. Bon Air Center, 302 Bon Air Center, Greenbrae, bonair.com.

Down-Home Day

Artful Arrangements hosts this

celebration with live music and family entertainment.

May 19, 11am. Free. Petaluma Homestead Gardens, 205 Orchard Ln, Penngrove, artfularrangements.org.

Eichler Home Tour

Tour a curated, diverse group of 12 homes, each one an exemplar of its model, to benefit Dixie School District.

May 19. $75. Eichler Homes, Lucas Valley and Terra Linda neighborhoods, San Rafael, MarinEichlerTour.com.

Finders & Makers Market

Enjoy an outdoor display of curated vintage collectors and local makers, plus refreshments and tours of the new female-focused co-working space. Sat, May 19, 11am. The Indie Alley, 69 Bolinas Rd, Fairfax, theindiealley.com.

Home & Ranch Readiness Summit

Weekend of demonstrations, trainings and more. May 1719. Free admission. Sonoma County Fairgrounds, 1350 Bennett Valley Rd, Santa Rosa, 707.545.4200.

Luther Burbank Rose Parade & Festival

The 124th annual event celebrates community strength with a theme of “Together We Rose.” May 19. Free.

Courthouse Square, Third Street and Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, 707.701.3620.

Marin Home & Garden Expo Hear from the experts, see the latest designs, and touch the latest products for your home and garden. May 19, 10am.

Free. Marin Fairgrounds, Marin Center, 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael.

Pairings: Art + Wine + Poetry

Several Bay Area poets, wines, artisan cheeses and more are assembled into an evening inspired by the current “Ship of Dreams” exhibit. May 20, 4pm. $30-$45. Sonoma Valley Museum of Art, 551 Broadway, Sonoma, 707.939.SVMA.

Perfume Rose Harvest Tours & Tea

Immersive event lets you harvest rose petals and see them made into teas, perfumes

and oils. May 19-20, 10am. $75.

Russian River Rose Company, 1685 Magnolia Dr, Healdsburg, 707.575.6744.

Pop-Up Boutique

Fun and philanthropic event features new selections from women’s clothing store cabi, and stylists on hand to help ladies find their new look. May 22, 6pm. The Indie Alley, 69 Bolinas Rd, Fairfax, theindiealley.com.

Russian River Women’s Weekend

Inclusive event embraces all women identified people and those who support them. May 18-20. $50. The R3 Hotel, 16390 Fourth St, Guerneville, 707.869.8399.

Salute to ‘American Grafitti’

Car show and more, celebrating George Lucas’ iconic film shot in Petaluma, this year honors first responders. May 19, 11am.

Free. Downtown Petaluma, Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma, americangraffiti.net.

Social Justice Center of Marin Dinner & Membership Meeting

campout. Registration required.

May 19, 4:30pm. Bohemia Ecological Preserve, 8759 Bohemian Hwy, Occidental, landpaths.org.

Fields of Creativity

Naturalist and writer Claire Peaslee leads a day of connecting to nature and finding inspiration and support for creative offerings. May 19, 10am. $50-$100. Point Reyes National Seashore, 1 Bear Valley Rd, Pt Reyes Station, blackmountaincircle.org.

Forest Bathing Seminar & Walk

Guided walk explores health benefits and history of forest bathing practices. May 20, 10am. $20. Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserve, 17000 Armstrong Woods Rd, Guerneville, stewardscr.org.

Pond Farm Tour

Learn about the culturally significant Pond Farm Pottery from a docent. May 19, 9:30am. $20. Austin Creek State Recreation Area, 17000 Armstrong Woods Rd, Guerneville, 707.869.9177.

Twenty-second annual event includes keynote speakers, student presentations and live jazz duo of Ricardo Moncrief and Stephanie Hendricks. May 19, 6pm. First Presbyterian Church of San Anselmo, 72 Kensington Rd, San Anselmo, 415.883.8188.

Spring in the Laguna

Windsor Green Half Marathon

Sunday Garden Tours

Walk or run in three different courses, with wine and beer tasting, food trucks and music following the activity. May 20, 7:30am. $25 and up. Windsor Town Green, 701 McClelland Dr, Windsor, townofwindsor.com.

Year of the Dog

Mark the Chinese Year of the Dog with Snoopy, and decorate your own Joe Cool sunglasses, enjoy photo ops and collect a button to take home. May 19.

Free with admission. Charles M Schulz Museum, 2301 Hardies Lane, Santa Rosa, 707.579.4452.

Field Trips Bat Potluck & Hike

Late afternoon and evening walk explores bats and other nighttime critters, with a potluck dinner and optional

Natural history walk and birdwatching adventure is led by expert Lisa Hug. Preregistration required. May 20, 8:30am. $50. Laguna de Santa Rosa Environmental Center, 900 Sanford Rd, Santa Rosa, 707.527.9277.

Get a looks at OAEC’s gardens and learn about the center’s permaculture features, programs and onsite community. Third Sun of every month, 1pm. through Oct 21.

Occidental Arts and Ecology Center, 15290 Coleman Valley Rd, Occidental, 707.874.1557.

Women’s Wellness Forest Therapy Walks

Join integrative health and wellness coach and forest therapy guide Jenny Harrow for a four-part journey into the forests of Sonoma County.

Sat, May 19, 9:30am. $30$90. Sugarloaf Ridge State Park, 2605 Adobe Canyon Rd, Kenwood, 707.833.5712.

Film Back to Burgundy

French family drama screens in partnership with International Film Showcase.

May 19, 4 and 7pm. $10. Jarvis

Conservatory, 1711 Main St, Napa, 707.255.5445.

The Chinese Exclusion Act Pre-release screening of the documentary film benefits Friends of China Camp. May 22, 5:30pm. $75. Marin Yacht Club, 24 SUmmit Ave, San rafael, 415.453.9366.

CULT Film Series

Film series looks back 30 years to 1988, with screenings of “A Fish Called Wanda” and “Coming to America.” May 17, 7pm. $10. Roxy Stadium 14 Cinemas, 85 Santa Rosa Ave, Santa Rosa, 707.525.8909.

Dirt Rich

Environmental documentary makes its world premiere.

May 21, 7pm. $20. Sebastiani Theatre, 476 First St E, Sonoma, 707.996.9756.

Secret Ingredients Filmmakers Amy Hart and Jeffrey Smith are on hand to screen their film about identifying hidden ingredients in everyday food that cause health problems. May 17, 7:15pm. Smith Rafael Film Center, 1118 Fourth St, San Rafael, 415.454.1222.

Food & Drink Esprit du Rhône

Wine Road hosts an opportunity to sample Rhône wine varietals throughout Alexander, Dry Creek and Russian River Valleys. May 18-19. $40-$65. Wine Road wineries, various locations, Healdsburg, wineroad.com.

The Great Petaluma Chili Cook-Off

Massive tasting event features over 40 chili and salsa teams competing and 15 breweries pouring their best. May 19, 1pm. $10-$30. Petaluma Fairgrounds, 100 Fairgrounds Dr, Petaluma, greatchilicookoff. com.

Hands-On Cheesemaking Class

Award-winning cheesemaker Sheana Davis hosts a class with artisan cheese tasting and recipes to take home.

Thurs, May 17, 6pm. $48.

Yountville Community Center, 6516 Washington St, Yountville, 707.944.2959.

Kentucky Derby Gala

Oyster Fest Event includes oysters, carnival faire, live music and games. May 20, 1pm. $50-$75.

Rutherford Ranch Winery, 1680 Silverado Trail South, St Helena, 707.968.3200.

Paws for a Cause Bring your pups, enjoy a flight of new spring release wines paired with gourmet hot dogs and veggie dogs by Rebel Dog and support Napa Humane.

May 19, 11am. $10. Provenance Vineyard, 1695 St Helena Hwy, Rutherford, 707.968.3633.

Southeast Asian Culinary Adventure Chef Edward Metcalfe and Chef Keo Xayavong host a cooking demonstration, with winetasting and lunch included. May 20, 11:30am. $90. Cornerstone Sonoma, 23570 Arnold Dr, Sonoma, 707.933.3010.

The Spinster Sisters Spotlight Series Meet, chat and sip with a local winemaker. Reservations recommended. Fri, May 18, 5pm. The Spinster Sisters, 401 South A St, Santa Rosa, 707.528.7100.

Tank Garage Birthday Party Tank Garage Winery turns four and parties with new wine releases, vintage arcade games, photo booth, small bites, discounts and more. May 20, 11am. $30. Tank Garage Winery, 1020 Foothill Blvd, Calistoga, 707.942.8265.

Top Drink Cocktail Festival Sip on signature Charbay cocktails created by Napa Valley’s best mixologists from an impressive roster of local restaurants. May 20, 2pm. $30$40. Napa Valley Museum, 55 Presidents Circle, Yountville, 707.944.0500.

Vegetarian Winemaker’s Lunch Dinner pairs seasonal vegetarian cuisine prepared by the girl & the fig with awardwinning wines from Corner 103. May 20, 1pm. $85. Suite D, 21800 Schellville Rd, Sonoma, 707.933.3667.

For Kids Family Fun Night

Children’s Museum stays open until 7pm with interactive exhibits and pizza. Fri, May 18. $12. Children’s Museum of Sonoma County, 1835 W Steele Lane, Santa Rosa, 707.546.4069.

Festival de Primavera

Cali Calmécac first through fourth grade students don colorful costumes and perform folkloric and modern dances from Mexico, South America, the Caribbean and Africa. May 23, 6:30pm. $6. Luther Burbank Center for the Arts, 50 Mark West Springs Rd, Santa Rosa, 707.546.3600.

Read to a Dog

CIA at Copia

May 18, 6pm, “The Garden of the World” with Lawrence Coats. $20. 500 First St, Napa 707.967.2530.

Sat, May 19, 10am. Guerneville Library, 14107 Armstrong Woods Rd, Guerneville, 707.869.9004.

Open Secret Bookstore

Lectures

Santa Rosa Copperfield’s Books

Breakthrough to Super Focus, Balance & SelfCare Learn tools and techniques to turn your good intentions into real success. May 19, 10am. $27.

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Child Trauma & Trauma-Informed Treatment

Trauma expert and author Dr Bruce Perry leads a daylong inter-disciplinary training for those who work with or are concerned about children. May 18, 9am. $110. Napa Valley Performing Arts Center at Lincoln Theater, 100 California Dr, Yountville, 707.944.9900.

Gerd Stern in Conversation with Neeli Cherkovski

The two poets discuss Cherkovski’s work and experiences as part of the art scene on the SS Vallejo houseboat in Sausalito. May 19, 3pm. $20-$35. Sonoma Valley Museum of Art, 551 Broadway, Sonoma, 707.939.SVMA...

Readings Book Passage

May 16, 7pm, “Shadow Child” with Rahna Reiko Rizzuto. May 17, 7pm, “The Mars Room” with Rachel Kushner. May 18, 7pm,

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“No Recipe” with Edward Espe Brown. May 19, 4pm, “Mother Tongue” with Tania Romanov.

May 19, 4:30pm, “Good Cop, Bad Daughter” with Karen Lynch. May 19, 7pm, “Beautiful Illusion” with Christie Nelson.

May 20, 11am, “Tin Man” with Sarah Winman. May 20, 4pm, “Choose Wonder Over Worry” with Amber Rae. May 21, 7pm, “Robin” with Dave Itzkoff. May 22, 1pm, “The Perfectionists” with Simon Winchester.

May 22, 7pm, “Microbia” with Eugenia Bone. 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera 415.927.0960.

May 19, 7pm, “Transformational NLP: A New Psychology” with Carl Buchheit. 923 C St, San Rafael 415.457.4191.

May 19, 11am, “Fuddles” with Frans Vischer. May 19, 7pm, “I’m Just Happy to Be Here: A Memoir of Renegade Mothering” with Janelle Hanchett. May 22, 7pm, “Robin” with Dave Itzkoff.

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Sebastopol Copperfield’s Books

May 19, 7pm, “Yak Girl” with Dorje Dolma. 138 N Main St, Sebastopol 707.823.2618.

Sebastopol Community Center

May 20, 7:30pm, “The Common Good” with Robert B Reich, in conversation with KQED Forum host Michael Krasny.

390 Morris St, Sebastopol 707.823.1511.

Falkirk Cultural Center May 17, 7:30pm, Marin Poetry Center<0x2019>s Third Thursdays with Dorianne Laux and Joshua Mensch.

1408 Mission Ave, San Rafael 415.485.3438.

Left Bank Brasserie May 20, 6:30pm, “Windows on Provence” with Georgeanne Brennan, includes meal and book. $120-$175. 507 Magnolia Ave, Larkspur 415.927.3331.

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19, 3pm, “The Mission” with Dick Evans. $10. 5200 Sonoma Hwy, Napa 707.226.5991.

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ate last week the California Department of Tax and Fee Administration announced that first quarter revenues from cannabis sales in 2018 came in at $60.9 million.

The state had hoped to collect $1 billion a year in tax revenues from pot so it’s got a long way to go.

The announcement came as debate began on Assembly Bill 3157, legislation that would cut or suspend state pot tax for three years to give the nascent pot industry a chance to beat the state’s vast black market.

Enabling legislation written for cannabis legalization included two new state taxes: a flat $148-perpound cultivation tax on harvested pot and a 15 excise percent tax that’s slapped on the purchase of cannabis. Plus, there are state and a local taxes which are added at purchase. The cultivation tax is

doped out according to which part of the plant is being sold: The state takes $9.25 per ounce of flower and $2.75 for leaves.

AB 3157 sets out to dial back the excise tax to 11 percent and eliminate the cultivation tax, for three years. It was introduced in February by Palmdale Republican Tom Lackey and Oakland Democrat Rob Bonta. The bill is scheduled for a hearing before the Assembly Appropriations committee today (May 16). It passed unanimously out of the Business and Professions Committee on May 8.

Lackey, a former California Highway Patrolman, says the bill is designed to cut off the state’s black market at the knees, arguing that “criminals do not pay business taxes, ensure consumers are 21 and over, obtain licenses or follow product safety regulations. We need to give legal business some temporary tax relief so the do not continue to be undercut by the black market.”

The California Cannabis Industry Association, which supports the bill, says that “the cumulative tax rate in California is as high as 45 percent” on non-medical purchases.

The industry group notes that when lawmakers in Washington scaled back that state’s pot taxes, more consumers headed to their local pot shop and the reform served to ramp up tax revenues.

New Frontier Data, a cannabis analytics company based in Colorado and Washington, reports via the CCIA that in the last month before Washington trimmed its taxes—June 2015—the state collected $13.4 million in revenue.

After it knocked back its rate, by April of 2017 revenue jumped to $33 million as consumers turned away from the black market.

The legal-illicit tax balance is a trickier deal in California than other legalized states given that the state continues to export most of its non-taxed cannabis out of state. The state produced $13.5 million pounds of pot in 2016 and consumed 2.5 million.

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Marcellus Gilmore Edson got a patent on peanut butter in 1894. A businessperson named George Bayle started selling peanut butter as a snack in 1894. In 1901, a genius named Julia David Chandler published the first recipe for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

In 1922, another pioneer came up with a new process for producing peanut butter that made it taste better and last longer. In 1928, two trailblazers invented loaves of sliced bread, setting the stage for the ascension of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich to its full glory. According to my analysis, Taurus, you're partway through your own process of generating a very practical marvel. I suspect you're now at a phase equivalent to Julia David Chandler's original recipe.

Onward! Keep going!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of the most popular brands of candy in North America is Milk Duds. They're irregularly shaped globs of chocolate caramel. When they were first invented in 1926, the manufacturer's plan was to make them perfect little spheres. But with the rather primitive technology available at that time, this proved impossible. The finished products were blobs, not globes. They tasted good, though. Workers jokingly suggested that the new confection's name include "dud," a word meaning "failure" or "flop." Having sold well now for more than 90 years, Milk Duds have proved that success doesn't necessarily require perfection. Who knows? Maybe their dud-ness has been an essential part of their charm. I suspect there's a metaphorical version of Milk Duds in your future, Gemini.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22): In my vision of your life in the coming weeks, you're hunting for the intimate power that you lost a while back. After many twists and trials, you find it almost by accident in a seemingly unimportant location, a place you have paid little attention to for a long time. When you recognize it, and realize you can reclaim it, your demeanor transforms. Your eyes brighten, your skin glows, your body language galvanizes. A vivid hope arises in your imagination: how to make that oncelost, now-rediscovered power come alive again and be of use to you in the present time.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The etymological dictionary says that the English slang word "cool" meant "calmly audacious" as far back as 1825. The term "groovy" was first used by jazz musicians in the 1930s to signify "performing well without grandstanding." "Hip," which was originally "hep," was also popularized by the jazz community. It meant, "informed, aware, up-to-date." I'm bringing these words to your attention because I regard them as your words of power in the coming weeks. You can be and should be as hip, cool, and groovy as you have been in a long time.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to my assessment of the astrological omens, your duty right now is to be a brave observer and fair-minded intermediary and honest storyteller. Your people need you to help them do the right thing. They require your influence in order to make good decisions. So if you encounter lazy communication, dispel it with your clear and concise speech. If you find that foggy thinking has started to infect important discussions, inject your clear and concise insights.

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I hope you will seek

out influences that give you grinning power over your worries. I hope you'll be daring enough to risk a breakthrough in service to your most demanding dream. I hope you will make an effort to understand yourself as your best teacher might understand you.

I hope you will find out how to summon more faith in yourself -- a faith not rooted in lazy wishes but in a rigorous self-assessment. Now here's my prediction: You will fulfill at least one of my hopes, and probably more.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Polish pianist Ignacy Jan Paderewski once performed for England's Queen Victoria. Since she possessed that bygone era's equivalent of a backstage pass, she was able to converse with him after the show. "You're a genius," she told him, having been impressed with his artistry.

"Perhaps, Your Majesty," Paderewski said. "But before

BY ROB BREZSNY

that I was a drudge." He meant that he had labored long and hard before reaching the mastery the Queen attributed to him. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you Libras are currently in an extended "drudge" phase of your own. That's a good thing! Take maximum advantage of this opportunity to slowly and surely improve your skills.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The ancient Greek

poet Simonides was among the first of his profession to charge a fee for his services. He made money by composing verses on demand. On one occasion, he was asked to write a stirring tribute to the victor of a mule race. He declined, declaring that his sensibilities were too fine to create art for such a vulgar activity.

In response, his potential patron dramatically boosted the proposed price. Soon thereafter, Simonides produced a rousing ode that included the phrase "wind-swift steeds." I offer the poet as a role model for you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. Be more flexible than usual about what you'll do to get the reward you'd like.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Here's the operative metaphor for you these days: You're like a painter who has had a vision of an interesting work of art you could create -- but who lacks some of the paint colors you would require to actualize this art.

You may also need new types of brushes you haven't used before. So here's how I suggest you proceed: Be aggressive in tracking down the missing ingredients or tools that will enable you to accomplish your asyet imaginary masterpiece.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Useful revelations and provocative epiphanies are headed your way. But they probably won't arrive sheathed in sweetness and light, accompanied by tinkling swells of celestial music. It's more likely they'll come barging in with a clatter, bringing bristly marvels and rough hope. In a related matter: At least one breakthrough is in your imminent future. But this blessing is more likely to resemble a wrestle in the mud than a dance on a mountaintop. None of this should be a problem, however! I suggest you enjoy the rugged but interesting fun.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One of the saddest aspects of our lives as humans is the disparity between love and romance. Real love is hard work. It's unselfish, unwavering, and rooted in generous empathy. Romance, on the other hand, tends to be capricious and inconstant, often dependent on the fluctuations of mood and chemistry. Is there anything you could do about this crazy-making problem, Aquarius? Like could you maybe arrange for your romantic experiences to be more thoroughly suffused with the primal power of unconditional love? I think this is a realistic request, especially in the coming weeks. You will have exceptional potential to bring more compassion and spiritual affection into your practice of intimacy.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In accordance with

astrological omens, I invite you to dream up new rituals. The traditional observances and ceremonies bequeathed to you by your family and culture may satisfy your need for comfort and nostalgia, but not your need for renewal and reinvention. Imagine celebrating homemade rites of passage designed not for who you once were but for the new person you've become. You may be delighted to discover how much power they provide you to shape your life's long-term cycles. Ready to conjure up a new ritual right now?

Take a piece of paper and write down two fears that inhibit your drive to create a totally interesting kind of success for yourself. Then burn that paper and those fears in the kitchen sink while chanting "I am a swashbuckling incinerator of fears!"

Go to REALASTROLOGY.COM to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. Audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1.877.873.4888 or 1.900.950.7700.

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