1150_BO

Snow Chateau

Christmas at the top of a mountain in Antarctica p20

Thrift Store Auctions p8 | Towers of Power p26 | Renewed: Society p34

NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14-20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

2

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707.544.4755

Find us on:

Located just off Hwy. 101 in downtown Santa Rosa.

Find us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

71 Brookwood Ave., Santa Rosa 707.576.0861 Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 11am-4pm • www.wbu.com

Birdseed . Feeders . Birdbaths . Optics . Nature Gifts . Books

3

For tickets call 707.546.3600 (noon-6pm Mon-Sat) Online wellsfargoce wellsfargocenterarts.org enterarts.org t Highway t Highwa ay 101 to River Road, Santa a Rosa Wells W ells Fargo Fargo Cente Center er for the Arts gr gratefully atefully acknowled acknowledges ges generous support from

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Tickets make great gifts

Box OfďŹ ce now open Mondays!

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4

Bohemian

Bringing You Fun Since ‘81 Extraordinary gifts, fantastic cards and the best stocking stuffers in town.

847 Fifth St., Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Phone: 707.527.1200 Fax: 707.527.1288 Editor Gabe Meline, ext. 202

Staff Writers Leilani Clark, ext. 106 Rachel Dovey, ext. 200

Copy Editor Gary Brandt, ext. 150

Calendar Editor Rachel Dovey, ext. 200

Contributors All manner of holiday costumes for sale and rent

Michael Amsler, Alastair Bland, Rob Brezsny, Richard von Busack, Suzanne Daly, Jessica Dur, Stett Holbrook, Daedalus Howell, James Knight, Samantha Larson, Jacquelynne OcaĂąa, Juliane Poirier, David Templeton, Tom Tomorrow

DISGUISE THE LIMIT

Interns

FUNNYBUSINESS

Anna Freeman, Lacie Schwarz, Alma Shaw

Design Director Kara Brown

Production Operations Coordinator

‌between 3rd & 4th on Wilson in Santa Rosa’s Historic Railroad Square

Mercy Perez

Costume Rentals 707-528-2590 Sales 707-575-1477

Jackie Mujica, ext. 213

Extended hours for holiday shoppers

Senior Designer Layout Artists Gary Brandt, Blake Chiao

Advertising Director Lisa Santos, ext. 205

Advertising Account Managers Mercedes Murolo, ext. 207 Susan M. Sulc, ext. 206

Circulation Manager Steve Olson, ext. 201

Sales Operations Manager Ashley Potter, ext. 215

Publisher

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Rosemary Olson, ext. 201

CEO/Executive Editor Dan Pulcrano NORTH BAY BOHEMIAN [ISSN 1532-0154] (incorporating the Sonoma County Independent) is published weekly, on Wednesdays, by Metrosa Inc., located at: 847 Fifth St., Santa Rosa, CA 95404. Phone: 707.527.1200; fax: 707.527.1288; e-mail: editor@bohemian.com. Member: Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, California Newspaper Publishers Association. Subscriptions (per year): Sonoma County $75; out-of-county $90. Thirdclass postage paid at Santa Rosa, CA. FREE DISTRIBUTION: The BOHEMIAN is available free of charge at over 1,100 locations, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for one dollar, payable in advance at The BOHEMIAN’s office. The BOHEMIAN may be distributed only by its authorized distributors. No person may, without permission of the publisher, take more than one copy of each issue.The BOHEMIAN is printed on 40% recycled paper.

Published by Metrosa, Inc., an affiliate of Metro Newspapers Š2011 Metrosa Inc.

Cover illustration by Trevor Alixopulos.

Cover design by Kara Brown.

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nb DETROIT RELIABLE If the old joke is ‘Fix or Repair Daily,’ then why are there still so many old Ford trucks on the road?

This photo was taken at Twin Hills Ranch in Sebastopol, a fine place to get into the Holiday spirit. Submit your photo to photos@bohemian.com.

‘Standing atop a summit mixes just the right emotional cocktail; it’s the most addictive experience I have known.’ P20 Goodwill’s Online Auction Site P8 When a Man Loves a Tankhouse P26 Charlize Theron Has Been Drinking P28 Rhapsodies & Rants p6

Wineries p18

Film p28

The Paper p8

Cover Story p20

Music p30

Media p11

Culture Crush p25

A&E p35

Green Zone p12

Arts & Ideas p26

Astrology p42

Dining p15

Stage p27

Classified p43

ABOUT THE COVER ARTIST This issue’s cover art is by Trevor Alixopulos, a great man known for his ability to attract women. He has been drawing comics since Samatha Fox was on the radio, and was recently an invited guest at the home of Phyllis Diller.

Trevor prefers you use the correct Greek plural for his surname when discussing his relatives, not the Roman.

See more of his work at www.alixopulos.com.

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NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

6

BOHEMIAN

Rhapsodies Never Forget Ranked-choice voting and the stolen 2000 election BY ART READ thank Craig Kaufman, and the Bohemian, for the news about the rank-choiced voting (RCV) victories in San Francisco. Ranked-choice is a clever instrument; one can vote positively, for one’s candidate of choice, and leave the negative strategies for one’s second and third choices. Money and time are saved avoiding run-off elections, while the joy of voting for perceived good rather than lesser evil is invaluable. I vote the Bohemian as the Best North Bay Outlet to Breach the Wall of Corporate Bullshit for yet another year.

I

But while Kaufman’s example of how RCV avoids “third-party spoilers” is good for explaining the mechanics of RCV, it is horrible for the myth it perpetuates—that Bush actually won in 2000. He did not. Bush lost in Florida, lost in the electoral college and lost the election. Kaufman uses Ralph Nader as an example of an election spoiler, which is a pernicious lie. Great, big, humongous lies get perpetuated and made into fact by mere repetition in the megacorporate, owned-by-the-1-percent media, but especially when repeated in sources like the Bohemian.

The associated lies that support this coup-d’état-by-fraud are mostly lies of omission. Did you know that Kathleen Harris, in her capacity as the highest election official in Florida, who stopped the unfinished vote counting and gave the election to the Supreme Court, where five “friendlies” were waiting with their unconstitutional “votes,” was also Bush’s campaign manager for the state of Florida? That’s a conflict of interest in the extreme, and straight-up election fraud in most countries, except maybe Honduras.

Did you know that Republican-owned company ChoicePoint removed over 80,000 voters from the Florida voter roll in 1999 for felony convictions in the future? The voters removed from the roles did have common demographics, besides “future convictions”: all were either African-American or Jewish, and thus profiled as suspected Democratic voters.

These two squelched items are just the tip of the fraudberg that sank our flailing attempts at organized democracy in the Bush “elections,” thoroughly corrupted by the lenses through which we view this carnage.

Thanks again for bringing this big lie to light: that Gore lost. May it die soon.

Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 350 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

Someone Doesn’t Like Teach for America

So, after two whole years in the classroom Kelly Amis moved on to make a series of short “mockumentaries” about the schools (“Chalking It Up,” Dec. 7). This critical stance is often the case for the children of the 1% who do their pedagogic fly-by as a Teach for America (TFA) member.

Teach for America is for the students from the nation’s elite universities who come to the inner city to dip their oh-sosensitive toes into the too-chilly waters of urban classrooms. The vast majority leave the profession after the minimum two years, and leave the students of the lower rungs of the 99% behind as well. Teaching is hard and doesn’t pay well. There are other, more lucrative professions available to graduates of Stanford/Harvard/Princeton/et al.— like selling toxic financial instruments on Wall Street. Or making films based on misinformation, for that matter.

If Ms. Amis actually had any expertise in education, she would not be talking about teachers’ “tenure policies.”

Teachers in California don’t have tenure. Teachers have three different employment categories: temporary, probationary and permanent. Temporary and probationary teachers can be dismissed without cause. Permanent teachers have due-process rights and can be dismissed only with “cause” established and documented. If some teacher over the course of years, as she alleges, “slept all day, every day,” that would appear to be fairly easily documented. It would be probable cause for dismissal.

And then, as TFA provides its members only five weeks of instruction on teaching skills, and she spent only two years at a school, she concludes: “The whole school was operating in a way that was completely dysfunctional and chaotic.” One sure way to make a school

“dysfunctional and chaotic” would be to staff it with a bunch of nonprofessionals with five short weeks of formal preparation. Teach for America participants, obviously, have no shortage in the hubris department.

As to “a candid assessment of the nation’s race-based achievement gap,” Ms. Amis and other concerned citizens might well pay attention to the healthcare gap, the affordable-housing gap, the universal high-quality preschool gap and the living-wage-jobs-forparents gap. It is the accumulation of those gaps that create the achievement gap. And, as opposed to Ms. Amis’ opinion, the “statistics” have more then barely shifted—the statistics on the number of students living in poverty, that is.

Poverty in the United States has grown in the last decade and now puts this country into the rank of having the second highest percentage of children living in poverty in the 32 most industrialized nations in the world.

America does terrible things to its poor children, and the schools have no remedy for that.

This film (or series of films) follows in the path of the critically panned, commercial flop Waiting for Superman. Propaganda, after a time, becomes tired as well as tiresome. Time to do some actual creative work on the socioeconomic problems that really plague the nation’s poor children and that really handicap their educational achievement.

The truth is out there, and Ms. Amis could focus her artistic talent on the real gaps faced by the 99%. If she is so inclined.

GARY RAVANI President, Early Childhood/K-12 Council, California Federation of Teachers

Watch Out, Wal-Mart!

Our store has some wonderful new items for any readers who are narrowminded Bible thumpers.

First, our popular Halloween witch dolls inspired our new green, hook-nosed

THIS MODERN WORLD

Mother Mary dolls. We have Mary figurines with knives in her heart and outstretched compassionate arms. Our Jesus on the cross figures have bloody nails which pierce his body.

By Tom Tomorrow

Top Five 1

All the disastrous ways people are trying to tie Christmas trees to their cars

For your downtown exhibit of baby Jesus, we have pesticide- and G.M.O.laden hay, suitable for feeding your animals. The pesticides are gifts that keep on giving, since they never leave your body after eating the animal.

Healdsburg pays $20,000 to tell cable TV viewers that it has great food and wine

Take full advantage of our mistletoe.

With your “God-given, freewill,” have many children.

Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer inadvertently suggests that people call gay sex hotline

Our best product this year is our Old Testament God doll—full of fire and brimstone. Pull his string and he damns your spoiled children (goes well with rod beatings).

Bottega’s Michael Chiarello will not be the Next Iron Chef, boo hoo

Come on over!

PAUL ANSELM

Cotati

Write to us at letters@bohemian.com.

2 3

4

5 Louis C. K.’s new comedy special is only $5; you owe it to yourself to laugh a little

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14–20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Rants

7

THE

Paper

Alma Shaw

NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

8

BREAKING THE SPINE Shannon Robles is bookstore coordinator at Goodwill’s giant new Santa Rosa store, opening this week.

Goodwill Hunting

How online auction sites are changing the face of thrifting BY LEILANI CLARK

I

t was a banner day for the Goodwill Redwood Empire. Two years ago, a painting by Southwest painter Maynard Dixon had been posted on the store’s eBay-like online auction site, and was

purchased by a Santa Fe art collector for $70,000, the most money the thriftstore chain had ever earned from one item.

“We’re not even sure how this painting got into our donation stream,” says Mark Ihde, president

and CEO of Goodwill Industries of the Redwood Empire. “That was a really unusual occurrence with us, but that very easily could have gone in the trash.”

Since then, the nonprofit organization has become progressively savvier when it comes to online sales. Ihde says

that in 2011, revenue from online sales reached an all-time high of $600,000 for the year—a significant increase from 2009–2010, when it was $453,852, according to Goodwill’s annual report.

Thrift stores have been deluged with hawks keen to resell items online in the years since eBay became prominent, and Goodwill itself has finally caught up. A new 28,000square-foot flagship store on Stony Point Road in Santa Rosa, open on Dec. 16, will even have two designated employees just for the online division, as well as two photography stations and bookselling and shipping operations. Ihde says online book sales netted the organization profit in the quarter million range last year.

“It has been very lucrative,” says Ihde. “We’re constantly looking for ways to make the process more efficient and to generate more revenue.”

After items are assessed as having profit potential— a decision that has to be approved by site administrators at ShopGoodwill.com—they’re posted online. While the site is run out of Orange County, and Goodwill Redwood Empire pays a hosting fee, the revenue stays in Sonoma County, going toward job training and other services, according to Idhe.

The New to You Shop in Santa Rosa, run by the Assistance League of Sonoma County, also sells items online. They’ve posted collectible and antique items for four years, says Barbara Kirk, the store’s volunteer eBay “specialist.”

“We sell things that we wouldn’t sell in the shop because they look ugly and broken down,” says Kirk, “but they’re antiques.” The most expensive item sold thus far was a piece of china painted with an image of Napoleon and Josephine; it sold on eBay for $3,500.

“It’s hard to know what’s going to sell,” says Kirk, though she says she’s learned a lot since taking the business online. The items do stay in the shop for a week, so customers have a chance to buy them in real life before they go virtual, but it’s still a far cry from the days when

A piece of china with an image of Napoleon sold for $3,500. “Some thrift stores are bad now,â€? says Johnson. “Some are just not worth going to.â€? In the long run, however, she says that since the money goes to a good cause, she doesn’t mind a less than thrilling selection in stores. “You can tell that they are auctioning stuff, which is great for the charitable aspect of what they do,â€? she says. “It’s great that they’re making more money, but for people who are doing it recreationally, for the thrill of ďŹ nding something amazing, or small businesses trying to resell things, you have to look longer and harder to ďŹ nd things that were plentiful years ago.â€?

Ihde says that this is not necessarily the case. In fact, he was recently approached by a man who told him Goodwill was doing a “poorâ€? job of sorting through items because he was able to visit the outlet center—where items get one last shot before being retired to the donation pile—and buy things that netted $1,000 a week on eBay. But Ihde says this is all part of Goodwill’s philosophy, not necessarily a sign of a awed system. “You take a little and you leave a little,â€? Ihde told the man. “If we sorted out everything, you wouldn’t shop with us, would you?â€?

Green Christmas An alternative to giving gadget gifts from a bigbox store that’ll end up covered in cobwebs at the back of the garage by July is to bestow an “experienceâ€? on loved ones. Think fancy dinners, hikes, classes, workshops and other adventures. Not only do experience gifts save resources, they’re also not made in China and won’t end up neglected and unused. For the ďŹ rst time, Sonoma County Regional Parks is offering park membership gift cards for the holidays. The gift card can be redeemed online for a one-year membership that provides access to all 49 regional parks in Sonoma County, one free night of camping, member events like movie nights and specialty hikes, and a family pass for the Tolay Fall Festival.

(Plus no more guilt about parking on the side of the road and slinking through the side entrance without paying.) Membership gift cards are $69 and are available at Spring Lake and Doran Regional parks, REI, the Bike Peddler, NorCal Bike Sport, Oliver’s Markets, Sonoma OutďŹ tters and online at www.sonomacountyparks.org. For more, contact 707.565.2041.

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Move to Amend With the recent ruling by the Los Angeles City Council that â&#x20AC;&#x153;corporations are not people and money is not speech,â&#x20AC;? Move to Amendâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a group that supports an amendment to end corporate personhoodâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;continues to build steam. Their goal is federal legislation that ensures corporations are not entitled to the same rights as people, and cannot employ money to inďŹ&#x201A;uence elections. Here in the North Bay, Abraham Entin has been facilitating teachins and meetings as a way to educate the public and grow the Move to Amend movement.

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valuable items gathered dust in the back of a ramshackle secondhand shop to be discovered by intrepid treasure hunters.

Meredith Johnson of Sonoma County has been thrifting since she was a teenager, later supporting herself and her two children for six years by reselling thrift-store ďŹ nds like ceramics and clothing on eBay. In 20 years of religiously haunting second-hand shops, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seen a sea change in the available merchandise.

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Sonoma County Library

CLOSED

Sonoma County public libraries will close at 2:00pm Friday, Dec. 23 and reopen on Tuesday, Jan. 3.

Book drops will be closed.

No materials will be due. No fines will accrue.

This closure is due to a Mandatory Time Off, one of many steps taken by the Library Commission to balance its budget.

For more details, visit www.sonomalibrary.org

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11

Poppinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Off

Sublet mini-stores a sign of retail times

BY DAEDALUS HOWELL

P

op-up stores function like gallery exhibitsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;they appear for a spell, often with a theme, make some dough, then vamoose. Some are seasonal, like Petalumaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual Christmas store put up by Marisaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fantasia.

Others are a means for brands like Wired magazine to showcase its curatorial prowess, as with its temporary location in NYCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Times Square.

Trendwatching.com, a selfdescribed â&#x20AC;&#x153;independent and opinionated trend ďŹ rmâ&#x20AC;? based in London, claims to have coined the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;pop-up storeâ&#x20AC;? in 2004. Their cool hunters noticed that the nowdefunct airline Song had opened a store in New Yorkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SOHO district with the lifespan of the average fruit ďŹ&#x201A;y. As planned, it closed a week later, after seven days of selling samples from the in-ďŹ&#x201A;ight menu, travel gear and tickets.

Now a new mutation of the pop-up concept is appearing on the retail event horizonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the storewithin-a-store.

Consider the recently announced launch of microâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Martha Stewart stores inside JCPenney locations. I had no idea JCPenney still existed or that Martha Stewart was still relevant, but my demographic is likely irrelevant to the department storeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new CEO Ron Johnson, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shepherding the midrange brandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s revitalization. (Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also acquiring an almost $40 million stake in Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc.) On its face, it might not seem like a very exciting premiseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the doyenne of domesticality branding some shelf space in a retail chain.

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s germane is that Johnson was the brain behind Apple Stores.

If Johnson can bring any of the mojo from Steve Jobsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in-house shopping experience, he may be able to create a successful retail Frankenstein out of JCPenney and Martha Stewart. At which point, the editors of Trendwatching.com will explode from smug selfsatisfaction as the store-within-astore trend will have crossed into a hard, cold economic reality.

For some, â&#x20AC;&#x153;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good thing.â&#x20AC;?

But for those holding the note on vacant retail space, this nestingdoll approach to commerce is trouble. Due to the economic downturn, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no dearth of available storefronts in which one might temporarily set up shop. Pop-up stores in these spaces could represent a minor reprieve, and would surely be welcomed with open arms like the Spirit Halloween stores that are ubiquitous through September and October. Founded in 1983, the come-and-go costume seller has perfected the large-scale pop-up store model. This year, it ďŹ lled 900 temporary locations in 48 states and Canada, all in â&#x20AC;&#x153;high visibility, high-traffic strip centersâ&#x20AC;? that would otherwise be empty.

But then, as JCPenneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Johnson probably realized, a standalone Martha Stewart store might also end up empty.

Daedalus Howell is at FMRL.com.

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Media

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NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

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Finding Fusion climbing classes weight equipment and yoga 3358a Coffey Lane Santa Rosa www.vertexclimbing.com

Berkeley business claims clean fusion boiler

BY JULIANE POIRIER

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n my seasonal wish list: a perfect water heater for some crazy scientist-businessmen in Berkeley. No, they aren’t stuck with cold water. And they aren’t crazy. They’re simply hot on the trail of what used to be called cold fusion. And they’re working on a water heater that they claim will run on a source of safe, clean and renewable energy.

But to warm up to the technology behind the Brillouin boiler, and other evidence of green technologies emerging from the study of physics, we have to revisit a frosty science story.

Decades ago, a few University of Utah physics researchers—Martin Fleischmann and Stanley Pons— announced to the world their discovery of cold fusion, a means to generate energy at room temperature with a little bit of simple equipment. Generating power this way promised an

energy future that was safe, clean and cheap. It called for no huge and life-threatening nuclear reactors, such as hot fusion requires.

With cold fusion, energy could be made without fanfare on a tabletop.

It would revolutionize the world.

But in the brief, ecstatic buzz that followed the 1989 announcement, scientific peers discredited cold fusion because no other lab could reproduce the results. Fleischmann and Pons, along with cold fusion, were ridiculed and dismissed with career-crashing disgrace. That’s how the science community polices itself. In a 2009 segment of 60 Minutes, Fleischmann was depicted as a broken man.

So obviously one would need courage to investigate an idea so fervently dismissed. Yet a small number of scientists did just that.

For over 20 years, experiments in labs around the world, including the United States Italy and Israel, have demonstrated the generation of energy from what might be a kind of fusion. They don’t call it cold fusion anymore, but refer to it generically as a nuclear effect.

It’s a head-scratcher, too, because even though energy is produced, it is created somewhat erratically—at unpredictable output levels—and mysteriously. No one knows exactly how it works.

Research continues. Forbes reported in October about Italian researcher Andrea Rossi, who demonstrated a device dubbed E-Cat. At its peak, the E-Cat takes in 400 watts of energy and puts out 15 kilowatts.

Brillouin Energy Corporation, producers of the Brillouin boiler, claims that by fusing hydrogen from a gallon of water, 355,000 times more energy can be produced than from a gallon of gas.

This new technology hasn’t reduced the frost from the science community. Yet. But let’s not dismiss any emerging energy that could possibly replace dangerous nuclear fission and radiation with emission-free energy production.

For more, see www.brillouinenergy.com.

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Sonoma County offices will be CLOSED or on reduced schedules* December 23rd, 2011 - January 2, 2012.

Offices will reopen on January 3, 2012.

This closure is due to a Mandatory Time Off program, one of several cost savings measures adopted by the county to balance its budget and preserve essential services. We appreciate your patience and understanding during the time that our offices are closed. *For further information, contact: 707.565.2961 or visit www.sonoma-county.org/mto.html

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SHAKING IT UP Chrysti Kehr, head bartender at John Ash & Co., pours the ‘happy’ in Happy Hour.

Mirth and Martinis Finding the snippets of real-life drama at happy hour

BY DAVID TEMPLETON

“N

o, no! He told me all about golf—but he didn’t say anything about you!”

Now, that’s good writing—crisp, funny, a little eccentric, exactly the kind of dialogue that a first-

rate play depends on. But I am not watching a play. I am sitting in a bar in Marin County, sipping a vodka martini while eavesdropping on a conversation between a man in a blue sweatsuit and a younger woman clutching a glass of red wine. Though I’m not clear on the context, I can see that the woman’s mood instantly shifts from miffed

to mollified upon hearing the gentleman’s offbeat assurance.

So far, so good.

Bar chatter, if one pays attention to it, can be every bit as entertaining as a night at the theater. And just as in the world of theater, the scene varies vastly from venue to venue.

Some nights it’s all tragedy, and

on others it’s pure romance.

Tonight, in the lounge of San Rafael’s popular Seafood Peddler restaurant, just before 5pm on a Tuesday evening, the show is shaping up to be a bit of a farce.

As the candles are lit one by one across the spacious fishingthemed space—nice “set design,” with lots of ship models and fake lobsters—six casually dressed, retirement-age characters sit at the bar. Sporting a just-off-thelinks vibe, they’re costumed in extremely casual garb (49ers jackets, sweatpants, hooded sweaters, sandals and sneakers), all talking in a rising and falling blur of half-sentences, snippets and out-of-context commentary.

“I’d do better hitting the ball with my cane than with the club,” one older man remarks to another.

“What the hell’s going on down there?” a laughing woman calls down to the other end of the bar.

A few minutes later, a voice is heard saying, “The ironic thing is, the escrow closed earlier than anyone expected!”—a remark that, for some reason, causes an explosion of raucous laughter.

At the Seafood Peddler, Happy Hour runs from 4 to 7pm, Monday through Saturday, and as is often the case, the show takes a while to get going. Things heat up a bit as diners begin filling the lounge, waiting for their table in the main restaurant. Tonight, the highlight of the show takes place in the corner of the lounge near the baby grand piano, where a twentysomething couple are waiting, a bit nervously, with the woman’s parents and grandparents. It seems that the grandfolks are meeting the girl’s boyfriend for the first time, a tattooed fellow with a shaved head and multiple piercings. When the drinks are delivered to their table, the grandfather challenges the boyfriend’s choice of beverage: a Shirley Temple.

“What are you, an alcoholic?” the grandfather asks.

“Actually, yes,” the boyfriend replies in a subdued voice.

“Well, then what are ) 16 you drinking a Shirley

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14–20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Alma Shaw

Dining

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Bar Talk ( 15

NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 14â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

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thaipotrestaurant.com $+)$( Fbab`T ;jl FgX $$# 5blXf ;bg Fce\aZf 3VR`aN =YNgN R $ $ & % $"%$

3883 Airway Drive Ste 145, Santa Rosa 707.528.3095 www.chloesco.com Mâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;F, 8â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5pm Now Open for Lunch on Saturdays 11amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;3pm

Holiday Small Bites Quiche Lorraine Squares Mini Croque Monsieurs Roasted Mushroom Gruyere Tartelette Petit Four Platter Full Catering Menu Available

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707-829-8889 In Downtown Sebastopol

Temple for? Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re already an alcoholic! Have a real drink!â&#x20AC;?

All in all, not a bad little bit of entertainment.

At John Ash & Co. in Santa Rosa, Happy Hour is a different and dramatically less casual show altogether. The cast is a bit younger, a combination of business folk unwinding after work and conference visitors from the surrounding Vintners Inn complex. The â&#x20AC;&#x153;setâ&#x20AC;? has a decidedly masculine vibe resembling a hunting lodge in a dark forest, with lots of wood surfaces, low light and flickering candles. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Did you watch Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s episode of Revenge?â&#x20AC;? one patron is heard saying to another. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Freaky! Daniel really told his mother off good!â&#x20AC;?

The big night for happy hour at John Ash is Wednesdays, when from 5:30 to 6:30, free snacks are part of the show.

Tonight, though, is Monday (happy hour 4 to 6pm), and the place is quieter, the overall atmosphere much like a good prime-time soap opera. The bar steadily fills up with people, most of them locked in lowvolume conversations that, based on the expressive faces all across the lounge, range from agenda-based business meetings to friendly catch-ups between new and old acquaintances.

Unfortunately, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much harder to hear conversations here. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mom needs a new doctor,â&#x20AC;? one woman says to a man, whom I take to be her brother. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The current one keeps ďŹ nding things wrong with her, and sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never been good with adversity.â&#x20AC;?

Yesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the best line of dialogue all night. There is clearly some juicy drama going on, but with so many people talking so softly, the drama is more like a silent movie in a beautiful theater. Perhaps, at venues like this, the best way to have a good time is to bring a friend and make a some entertaining conversation of your own.

Our selective list of North Bay restaurants is subject to menu, pricing and schedule changes. Call first for confirmation.

Restaurants in these listings appear on a rotating basis. For expanded listings, visit www.bohemian.com.

COST: $ = Under $12; $$ = $13-$20; $$$ = $21-$26; $$$$ = Over $27

Rating indicates the low to average cost of a full dinner for one person, exclusive of desserts, beverages and tip.

SONOMA COUNTY Abyssinia Ethiopian/ Eritrean. $. Authentic and filling, and a welcome culinary addition. Lunch and dinner daily; breakfast, Sat-Sun. 913 Fourth St, Santa Rosa.

707.568.6455.

Bistro 29 Bistro. $$-$$$.

Get an honestly prepared plate of excellence, reasonably priced, at this veritable palace of crepes. Lunch, Tues-Fri; dinner, Tues-Sat. 620 Fifth St, Santa Rosa. 707.546.2929.

Chelino’s Mexican Restaurant Mexican. $.

Standout generous taqueria fare with fresh ingredients daily. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 1079 Fourth St, Santa Rosa. 707.571.7478.

China Room Chinese. $-$$. Free-range chicken and MSG-free. Don’t miss some of the best moo shu you’ll ever have. Lunch, Mon-Fri; dinner daily. 500 Mission Blvd, Santa Rosa. 707.539.5570.

Khoom Lanna Thai. $$.

Outstanding Thai dishes and seasonal specialties with an authentic cooking style. Fresh ingredients, serene dining room, convenient Railroad Square location. Lunch and dinner daily. 107 Fourth St, Santa Rosa. 707.545.8424.

Martha’s Old Mexico Mexican. $. Freshly prepared favorites, along with regional house specialties. Lunch and dinner, Wed-Mon; dinner only, Sat-Sun. 305 N Main St, Sebastopol. 707.823.4458.

McNear’s Alehouse. $.

Sports bar: barbecue, big appetizers, burgers. Lunch and dinner daily. 21 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma. 707.765.2121.

Thai Pot Thai. $$. A local favorite for authentic Thai recipes with pad Thai, curries, exotic appetizers

and entrées. Lunch and dinner daily. 2478 W Third St, Santa Rosa. 707.575.9296.

6961 Sebastopol Ave (across from West America Bank), Sebastopol. 707.829.8889.

Thai Taste Restaurant Thai. $-$$. Lovely ambiance and daily specials showcase authentic Thai flavors. A hidden gem in Santa Rosa’s Montecito neighborhood. Lunch and dinner daily. 170 Farmers Lane #8, Santa Rosa. 707.526.3888.

Yao-Kiku Japanese. $$-$$$. Fresh sushi with ingredients flown in from Japan steals the show in this popular neighborhood restaurant. Lunch and dinner daily. 2700 Yulupa Ave, Santa Rosa. 707.578.8180.

Zazu Cal-Euro. $$$. Perfectly executed dishes that sing with flavor. Zagat-rated with much of the produce from its own gardens. Dinner, Wed-Sun; brunch, Sun. 3535 Guerneville Rd, Santa Rosa. 707.523.4814.

M A R I N COUNTY Arigatou Japanese Food to Go Japanese. $.

Cheap, delicious and ready to go.

Lunch and dinner daily. Miracle Mile Plaza, 2046 Fourth St, San Rafael. 415.453.8990.

Bay Thai Thai. $. Fresh Thai food with curries that combine the regions classic sweet and tart elements. Some of the best fried bananas to be found. Lunch and dinner, MonSat; dinner, Sun. (Cash only.)

809 Fourth St, San Rafael.

415.458.8845.

Benissimo Ristorante & Bar Italian. $$. Hearty and flavorful food in authentic neighborhood-style Italian restaurant. Lunch and dinner daily. 18 Tamalpais Dr, Corte Madera. 415.927.2316.

Boca South American. $$$-

Casa Mañana Mexican. $. Big burritos a stone’s throw from the perfect picnic spot: Perri Park. The horchata is divine. Lunch and dinner daily. 85 Bolinas Rd, Fairfax.

415.454.2384.

Chez Pierre FrenchItalian-American. $$. A former Denny’s turned Parisian bistro, with surprisingly competent cozy French favorites like escargot and chicken Cordon Bleu. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily.

7330 Redwood Blvd, Novato.

415.898.4233.

Fradelizio’s Italian. $$.

Locally sourced northern Italian dishes with a Californiacuisine touch. The house red is a custom blend from owner Paul Fradelizio. Lunch and dinner daily. 35 Broadway Blvd, Fairfax. 415.459.1618.

Frantoio Italian. $$-$$$.

Perennial winner of SF Chron’s “100 Best,” Frantoio also produces all of its own olive oil.

Dinner daily. 152 Shoreline Hwy, Mill Valley. 415.289.5777.

Hatam Persian. $. Fresh and lushly seasoned regional fare. Lunch and dinner, TuesSun. 821 B St, San Rafael.

415.454.8888.

daily. 107 Bolinas Rd, Farifax.

415.258.4520.

N A P A COUNTY

The Revolution Will Be Delicious

Ad Hoc American. $$-$$$.

Thomas Keller’s quintessential neighborhood restaurant.

Prix fixe dinner changes daily.

Actually takes reservations.

6476 Washington St, Yountville.

707.944.2487.

When Minnesota native Tucker Hemquist (at right) moved to Sonoma County, he was shocked to find no food co-ops, especially in an area teeming with farms, foodies and year-round produce. So the farmer-chef decided to take matters into his own hands. After amassing a group of volunteers, raising $20,000 in grants and establishing a seven-member board of directors, the Spiral Foods Co-op is well on its way to realizing its brick-andmortar dream. Unlike traditional grocery stores, co-ops are member-owned, which means that in order to open a store, cafe and commercial kitchen in Graton, Spiral Foods needs community support.

With 101 members, the volunteer-run Spiral Foods Coop is one-tenth of the way to its 1,000-member goal. Membership-equity investments are $300 (payments start at $25), a relatively small price to pay to become part owner of Sonoma County’s first co-op in decades. “We want to meet the needs of our community,” says Spiral member Liat G. Douglas, “by hosting workshops on worm composting or cheese making, by keeping profits local, by offering farmers a consistent market and by creating a convivial community center.”

Learn more at the free “Kick-Start a Coop” potluck on Sunday, Dec. 18, at Bambu Tea House. 9010 Graton Road, Graton. 2–6pm.

Stop by with a dish to share and your own eating utensils. Live music by Slowpoke; warm winter spirits available by donation.

For more, see www.spiralfoods.coop.

—Jessica Dur

Alexis Baking Co Cafe. $-$$. Alexis excels at baked goods and offers killer breakfasts and sensible soup’n’-salad lunches. 1517 Third St, Napa. 707.258.1827.

Angèle Restaurant & Bar French. $$$. Thoroughly French, but not aggressively so. Lunch and dinner daily.

540 Main St, Napa.

707.252.8115.

Boonfly Cafe California cuisine. $-$$. Extraordinary food in an extraordinary setting. Perfect pasta and mussels. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 4080 Sonoma Hwy, Napa. 707.299.4900.

Bouchon French. $$$. A Keller brother creation with a distinctly Parisian bistro ambiance, offering French classics. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 6540 Washington St, Yountville. 707.944.8037.

Bounty Hunter Wine

food. $-$$. Excellent soups, salads, pub grub and awardwinning pork-beer sausage.

Lunch and dinner daily.

1809 Larkspur Landing Circle, Larkspur. 415.461.4677.

country casual. $$. Wine shop and bistro with maverick moxie for the wine cowboy. Premium bottles for sale, also. Lunch and dinner, Tues-Sun; open late, Thurs-Sat. 975 First St, Napa.

707.255.0622.

Mountain Home Inn

Celadon Global

American. $$-$$$$. Great summer sandwiches with a view atop Mt Tamalpais.

Breakfast, Sat-Sun; lunch and dinner, Wed-Sun. 810 Panoramic Dr, Mill Valley.

415.381.9000.

comfort food. $$. Relaxed sophistication in intimate neighborhood bistro setting by the creek. Superior wine list.

Lunch, Mon-Fri; dinner, MonSat. 500 Main St, Ste G, Napa.

707.254.9690.

Sol Food Puerto Rican. $.

Checkers California. $$.

Flavorful, authentic and homestyle at this Puerto Rican eatery, which is as hole-inthe-wall as they come. Lunch and dinner daily. Two San Rafael locations: 732 Fourth St. 415.451.4765. 901 Lincoln Ave. 415.256.8903.

Perfect casual spot for dinner before the movie. Try the panéed chicken and butternut squash ravioli. Lunch and dinner daily. 1414 Lincoln Ave, Calistoga. 707.942.9300.

Marin Brewing Co Pub

Sorella Caffe Italian. $$. The embodiment of Fairfax casual, with delicious, high-quality food that lacks pretension. Open for dinner

17

SMALL BITES

Fumé Bistro & Bar California cuisine. $$$.

California bistro fare that nearly always hits the mark.

Lunch and dinner daily.

4050 Byway E, Napa.

707.257.1999.

Gilwoods Cafe Diner. $$$. Classic hometown diner, specializes in the homemade.

Breakfast and lunch daily.

1320 Napa Town Center, Napa.

707.253.0409. 1313 Main St, St Helena. 707.963.1788.

Red Rock Cafe & Backdoor BBQ American. $-$$. Cafe specializing in barbecue and classic diner fare.

Messy, delicious. Lunch and dinner daily. 1010 Lincoln Ave, Napa. 707.226.2633.

Redd California cuisine. $$$$$. Rich dishes balanced by subtle flavors and careful yet casual presentation. Brunch at Redd is exceptional. Lunch, Mon-Sat; dinner daily; brunch, Sun. 6480 Washington St, Yountville. 707.944.2222.

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14–20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Dining

$$$$. Enjoy flavorful and rich regional fare in the rustic décor of an Argentinean ranch.

Lunch, Mon-Fri; dinner daily.

340 Ignacio Blvd, Novato.

415.833.0901.

Wineries

NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 14â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

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2759 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa 707.541.3868

SONOMA COUNTY

tastings; just focus on Sojournâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lawn chair logo and relax. 141 E. Napa St., Sonoma.

Complimentary tasting by appointment. 707.938.7212.

Adobe Road Winery

Thumbprint Cellars

Award-winning Cab, Pinot, Zin, Cab Franc, Syrah and Petite Sirah. Their tasting room is located in Petaluma at the Racers Group Porsche race headquarters. 1995 S. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma. 707.939.7967.

Alexander Valley Vineyards At family-run Alexander Valley Vineyards, the Wetzels serve as curators of local history, having restored Cyrusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; original adobe and schoolhouse. 8644 Hwy. 128, Healdsburg. Tasting room open daily, 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;5pm.

707.433.7209.

Relax

while we cook for you!

Complete menu options: www.pearsonandco.com

Most reviews by James Knight. Note: Those listings marked â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;WCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; denote wineries with caves. These wineries are usually only open to the public by appointment.

Wineries in these listings appear on a rotating basis.

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Camellia Cellars Like owner Chris Lewand, the wine is just so darned approachable and easy-going. Sangiovese and Cabernet Sauvignon are most consistently strong.

57 Front St., Healdsburg.

Open daily, 11amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;6pm.

888.404.9463.

De Loach Vineyards In the 1970s, Cecil De Loach established this pioneering producer of Russian River Zinfandel and Pinot Noir par excellence.1791 Olivet Road, Santa Rosa. Open daily, 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;4:30pm. 707.526.9111.

Passalacqua Winery Family-run, boasting good reds and Chardonnay as well as a fun wine-aroma kit to train your senses to identify common wine smells. Large deck, garden and vineyard.

3805 Lambert Bridge Road, Healdsburg. Open daily, 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;5pm. 707.433.5575.

Paul Hobbs Winery Unfiltered and unfined wines, fermented with native yeasts.

3355 Gravenstein Hwy. N. (Highway 116), Sebastopol. By appointment. 707.824.9879.

Sojourn Cellars Complex but lissome Sonoma Valley Cab is the star at comfortable tasting salon just off the Sonoma Plaza thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as comfortable as a living room. No need to fear sit-down, appointment-only

Vegan wines named Arousal, Threesome and Four Play; but it all started out innocently enough. Downtown lounge offers curvaceous bar, hookah-den-styled booth, and seasonal nosh.

102 Matheson St., Healdsburg.

Open 11am to 6pm Sundayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Thursday, to 7pm Saturday.

Tastings $5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$10; with food pairing, $10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$20. 707.433.2393.

Toad Hollow A humorous, frog-themed tasting room begun by Robin Williamsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; brother Todd Williams and Rodney Strong, both now passed. Refreshing and fun.

409-A Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. Open daily, 10:30amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;5:30(ish)pm.

707.431.8667.

NAPA COUNTY Beringer Vineyards (WC) This historic winery offers some seven daily tours for nominal fees, most of which end gratefully with a glass and a spin through the underground wine-aging tunnels. Open daily, 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; 6pm (summer hours).

2000 Main St., Napa.

707.963.7115.

Cuvaison Estate Wines (WC) Producing some 65 percent of its product as Chardonnay, Cuvaison has a 22,000-square-foot cave.

4550 Silverado Trail N., Napa.

By appointment. 707.942.6266.

Darioush Exotic locale, with giant columns and a Persian theme, Darioush is justly famous for its Bordeaux.

4240 Silverado Trail, Napa.

Open daily, 10:30amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;5pm.

707.257.2345.

Frank Family Vineyards A media mogul imagineered a Napa Valley winery thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s surprisingly

no-frills, friendly and free of charge, from the flute of bubbly welcome to the last sip of award-winning Cab. Emphasis is on the historic Larkmead winery, the wine and, natch, the guest at this popular tasting room set in the wineryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s remodeled craftsman farmhouse. Frank Family Vineyards, 1091 Larkmead Lane, Calistoga. Tasting daily, 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;4pm, $10; reserve, $25.

707.942.0753.

Hess Collection Winery An intellectual outpost of art and wine housed in the century-old Christian Brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s winery.

Cab is the signature varietal.

4411 Redwood Road, Napa.

Open daily, 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;4pm.

707.255.1144.

Raymond Vineyards Burgundy scion Jean-Charles Boisset has put his stamp on staid Napa producer. See the Theater of Nature, depicting biodynamics; feel the Corridor of the Senses; luxuriate in the members-only Red Room, party in the gold-plated JCB Room; or just taste good Cab in the club-like Crystal Cellar.

849 Zinfandel Lane, St. Helena.

Daily, 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4pm. Fees vary.

707.963.3141.

Somerston Wine Co. Ambitious ranch and winery inclues utility-vehicle â&#x20AC;&#x153;buggyâ&#x20AC;? rides by appointment. The cheese shop and grocery opens in April. All that and wine, too.

6488 Washington St., Yountville. Tasting room open noon-8pm Mondayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Thursday; to 9pm, Fridayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Saturday; to 10pm, summer. Tastings $15â&#x20AC;&#x201C; $40. Ranch tours by appointment, $50.

707.944.8200.

Uncorked at Oxbow Across from the Public Market, this remodeled house in Napaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s historic â&#x20AC;&#x153;Little Italyâ&#x20AC;? is a casual and unaffected joint. Ahnfeldt and Carducci wines include estate Merlot, Syrah, Cab, vinted by Paul Hobbs. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ask about the horse. 605 First St., Napa. Open daily, noonâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;8pm; winter hours vary. Tasting fee, $10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$20. 707.927.5864.

19 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14â&#x20AC;&#x201C;20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Stonestreet

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T

he hills are littered with lawyers who took a notion to start a little winery, none of them matching Jess Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s success. Although he got into the business in middle age, Jackson, who passed away this year at age 81, built the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular brand of Chardonnay and established Jackson Family Wines among the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top 10 producers.

Then he took to the hills.

Jackson wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the first to plant vineyards on this old cattle ranch on the slopes of Black Mountain, but he when he did, he went big: 800 acres, 400 separate blocks, at elevations up to 2,000 feet. Still, much of Alexander Mountain Estate is undeveloped; where vines arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t grown, digger pines thrive in serpentine soil.

Jackson hired wildlife biologists and trackers so that animal corridors that passed through the property could be preserved.

A few tumbledown shacks are tucked into the dells, remnants of the areaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 19th-century mining and stagecoach history, while an ancient adobe cottage, handsomely renovated in ripped-from-thepages-of-Sunset-magazine fashion, was Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s retreat, now a guest house. Picnic grounds command an eagleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s view of the valley below.

Down there, across the way from Jimtown Store, the Stonestreet tasting room is a few-frills affair, with only a modest bar in the foyer and an adjacent conference room for sit-down tastings.

Distractions are limited to a topographic model of the estate, clearly the star of this show, whose competition is the wine itself.

The Chardonnay is showy and rich, a style that could be likened to the Vintnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Reserve, but with better breeding and finishing school. The 2008 Red Point ($55) has up-front oak, layers of baked pear and apple, and caramelized flavor on the back-end. The 2008 Grandstone ($55) ups the velvety texture, while the 2008 Lower Rim ($55) plays down all of the above, with a whisper of a caramel finish.

The Bordeaux-style mountain reds seem taciturn in contrast.

The 2007 Lost Pine Merlot ($65) is one big serving of grilled plum and black cherry, with charred blackberries, bitter chocolate and wet stone or pencil lead on the finish. Graphite also dominates the dark, fruit core of the 2007 Bear Point Cabernet Sauvignon ($60). The warmer 2006 Christopherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cabernet Sauvignon ($100) and the 2006 Legacy Bordeaux Blend ($85) are perhaps the most accessible now. These are big mountain wines, built to lastâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;fitting for the brand that the late vintner tied most closely with his own legacy. Stonestreet is, after all, Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s middle name.

Stonestreet, 7111 Hwy. 128, Healdsburg. Open daily, 11am to 4:30pm. Tasting fees $12, $15 and $25; Mountain excursion $75, includes picnic lunch. 707.433.9463.â&#x20AC;&#x201D;James Knight

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20

Holiday on Ice

Spending Christmas at the bottom of the world

BY SAMANTHA LARSON

WHITE CHRISTMAS The author in Antarctica, poised to set the World Record for the youngest person to climb all Seven Summits.

“T

his does not feel like Christmas,” I thought

to myself.

Between forced gulps of hot chocolate, I looked over at my teammate Doug in our kitchenette dug out of the snow, nursing his frostbitten hands. My dad and the other climbers in our group, Wim and our guide, Victor, also sat in the shelter, trying to warm themselves.

We were at the base of Vinson Massif, on our way to the highest point in Antarctica. In December 2005, amid college applications and prom drama in my senior year

of high school, my dad and I had somehow journeyed as far away from holiday cheer as possible to climb this peak.

I was the 17-year-old girl among middle-aged men, and while it wasn’t the first time I would play the role—Mt. Vinson would become the sixth of the Seven Summits, the highest peak on each of the continents, that my dad and I would climb—I still felt an underlying compulsion to prove that I was “good enough” to be there.

The team had leisurely awoken that morning, thinking we would follow a relatively easy plan. The goal was to tag high camp and then come back down for the night, following the mountaineer’s maxim of

acclimatization, “Climb high, sleep low.” Even though it looked like we would enjoy sun, I casually threw some extra mitts and my fluffiest down jacket into my pack, just in case.

We rolled out of camp with the sun against the pristine snow that crunched under our feet as we made our way toward the base of the headwall. Once there, we made a stop to put on our spikes, and then began to ascend the face that would lead us to high camp, situated in the col between Mt. Vinson and its neighbor, Mt. Shinn.

Planting my ice axe into the incline every couple of steps while holding the rope in the other, I followed a slow but steady pace. I was giddy at the

thought of being surrounded by the untouched peaks of this mystic land. Unconventional, perhaps, but not a bad way to spend Christmas day, I thought.

S

uffice it to say, Christmas back home was much different. The Christmas season in Long Beach, where I grew up, was announced by the appearance of colorful, pyramidshaped light decorations out on the bay. Sometimes after the boat parade that went around Naples Island—for which we would decorate our kayaks, and ourselves, with festive strings of lights—I would paddle out to one of the platforms, just for the novelty of sitting on a floating Christmas decoration.

21

PEAKED Finally reaching the summit—an unforgettable gift.

in dire consequences. If I made everyone stop, they could grow cold themselves due to the lack of movement.

My mind flashed on all of the things I wouldn’t be able to do, or at least not as well, if I lost my fingertips to frostbite. Back home, I needed those fingers if I wanted to keep playing the piano or the oboe or even to be able to instant message with my friends.

Completely embarrassed, I called out to Victor.

“Why didn’t you change your gloves when I gave you the chance before?” he asked, clearly cross. But he stopped, and I threw off my pack to get my mitts.

M

ountaineering started for my dad, and thus for me, when he climbed Mt. Whitney with a friend from work. After Whitney and some other local peaks, he felt ready to take on something bigger. He suggested climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro to his friends, but they were unable to take the time off. So he brought it to the table to his family at dinner one night.

My older brother and my stepmom both reasonably declined.

But, more than climbing a mountain, the thought of going to Africa seemed exotic and exciting to me. I imagined that if I climbed Kilimanjaro, which I knew nothing about, I could probably convince my dad to take me on a short safari afterward.

“Yeah, I’ll go!” It came out without much thought, unknowingly launching the biggest obsession of my teenage years.

Eventually, that obsession would turn into a world record.

After climbing six of the Seven Summits with my dad, I took a year off. We had left the biggest for last, Everest. In order to prepare for it, we utilized the autumn season to climb one of its easier and slightly lower neighboring peaks, Cho Oyu, in order to accustom ourselves to the supplemental oxygen systems and see how we fared at extreme altitudes above 26,000 feet.

After success on Cho Oyu,

we climbed Everest from the Nepalese side in the spring.

Reaching the summit of Everest made me, at age 18, the youngest person to have climbed the Seven Summits and the first person to climb them all with her dad.

A

s we climbed on at Vinson, the weather continued to worsen.

Once we got to high camp, we hastily made a cache for the gear we’d leave up there, and started back down. Now in near whiteout conditions, we were thoroughly miserable. A layer of the freshly blown snow accumulated between some of our boots and crampons, causing us to stumble from time to time, pulling and catching each other by the rope that served as our lifeline.

I felt depleted when we got back to camp; it took all of my willpower to collect snow to melt for water and help cook the dinner that I would be too tired to eat. As I laboriously cut up garlic with my pocketknife to throw in with the frozen salmon patties—our holiday dinner— Victor said to me, “I bet you’ve never had a Christmas like that before, have you?”

After I wearily shook my head, he grinned and added, “Somehow I don’t think it’ll be the last, either.”

After dinner I used the satellite phone to call my mom and brother. I was exhausted, and there was such a time lag in the connection between us that it was hard to communicate anything at all. I tried to imagine them sitting cozily around a tree, wellfed and warm, protected from the chilly streets of New York, as I sat looking across the expanse of ice in front of me that led to the bottom of the earth.

My dad and I then called my step-mom, younger brother and sister back in California. She asked how we liked our presents— we had forgotten! Before she left us at the airport, she had handed my dad and me each a small package, which we had stashed away in our sleeping bags. We

ANTARCTIC DECOR In freezing

temperatures, simple trees have to do.

hung up the phone, got into our tent, and I uncovered a pair of earrings, two small silver hoops.

They seemed so out of place, reminding me of my “other life.”

A day or two later we returned to high camp, from where we’d leave for the summit. I had still not recovered from our hard Christmas day, and was feeling nauseous from the altitude.

“You were moving quite slowly,” Victor told me. “I think you were getting a bit hypothermic.”

The next morning, we decided to head for the summit. The weather was good, and we had precious little time before we had to be back at base camp to get our ride back out. If we missed it, we would most likely have to stay an extra two weeks.

I thought that maybe I’d feel better once we got started, but pretty quickly I became sure that I wasn’t going to make it.

I felt on the verge of vomiting with every step. But I kept marching along, distracting myself with an internal debate of whether I had yet reached the point at which I should just tell the team that I needed to turn back around. Far sooner than I expected, Victor told us that we were probably halfway there. We continued on. And on.

I did make it to the summit that day. Standing atop a summit mixes just the right emotional cocktail to make it the most addictive experience I have known.

I trudged up, planted my ice axe into the ground and rested my forehead on its handle. My dad came over and let me lean on him to rest instead.

“Good job, Honey Bear,” was all he could say, and I quietly cried into his shoulder.

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14–20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

My brother and I often spent Christmas in Brooklyn, with my mom and grandmom. Our search for a Christmas tree was limited to what we would be willing to carry down the street and up the several flights of stairs. The holiday fixation was on appetizing fowl, be it pheasant, quail or duck, and my mom would spend the better part of a day strategizing the sequence of events—what had to be bought from which store when and how to best tire out the dog so that he would be less tempted to snatch the comestibles away. Though we always ended up with a delicious meal, things rarely went according to plan.

Our plans on the mountain, too, were soon upended. After a couple of hours climbing, a smattering of clouds invaded the sky. We stopped to adjust our layers to the lower temperature; while Victor and Wim each added a jacket, Doug and my dad said they’d be fine with what they had on. I convinced myself that my current garb would also suffice.

Yet as we began to climb again, the wind picked up, and I soon realized that the thin gloves I had on wouldn’t be enough after all.

I tried to shake off the burning cold by whirling my arms around, hoping that increasing the blood flow would be sufficient; I knew that in this sport, seemingly small errors like this could result

NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14-20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

22

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23

Bohemian’s Best of 2012 Readers Poll Vote online at bohemian.com (mailed ballots will not be counted)

You know the feeling. It’s that excited feeling you get walking into the lobby of your favorite theater, loading up produce from your favorite farmer’s market or finding just the right title at your favorite bookstore. It may come daily at the cafe, weekly at the nightclub or even just once a year at the framing shop. It can happen anywhere, from the bank to the feed store, from the yoga studio to the park. It’s a feeling that says you absolutely need to tell the entire world about how wonderful this one perfectly divine little thing is right now.

We know. We get that same feeling pretty much constantly, and each week we get the chance to get the giddiness off our chest in print. But once a year, it’s your turn. Dear readers, it’s time to channel all those good feelings about

A few online voting rules: Complete at least on third of the ballot or it won’t be counted

everything you love and shout them from the mountaintop—or, as the case may be, our Best of the North Bay Readers Poll.

The sample ballot below can be scribbled on however you see fit to prepare voting for the many places, businesses and people who make your world brighter. When you’re ready to pull the trigger, go online to www.bohemian.com between now and Friday, Jan. 13 at 5pm. Look for your picks to be printed in our annual Best Of issue, publishing on March 21, 2012.

Keep in mind that any big-box corporate entities will be tossed out in favor of our prized independents; we’re all about supporting local businesses and people. Sit down with the ballot and vote for your favorites today!

Important! Check one of the following.

My selections are for:

Include your name and a daytime phone number

Sonoma County

Ballots are confidential, but you may be called to confirm your vote

Marin County

Only one entry per person is permitted

Napa County

Bohemian staff members, contributors, advertisers and their families may vote Dealine for online ballots is Friday, Jan 13, at 5pm

100 Culture

101 102 103 104 105 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116

Best Art Gallery Best Ballet Company Best Band Best Charity Event Best Dance Studio Best Festival Best Film Festival Best Media Personality: TV, Radio, Print Best Movie Theater Best Museum Best Music Festival Best Music Venue Best Outdoor Art Event Best Performing Arts Center Best Performing Dance Company Best Place to Dance Best Theater Troupe

200 Recreation

201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208

Best Bike Shop Best Gym Best Health Club Best Independent Bike Frame Builder Best Martial Arts School Best Outdoor Gear Shop Best Park Best Pilates Studio

Honorable mentions will be included in the Sonoma votes!

209 210 211 212

Best Public Golf Course Best Snow/Skate/Board Shop Best Surf Shop Best Yoga Studio

300 Food & Drink 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322

It just clicks.

Best Bakery The new Bohemian.com Best Bar Best Bartender Best BBQ Best Breakfast Best Brew Pub Best Brunch Best Burger Best Cabernet Best Cafe/Coffeehouse Best Candy/Chocolate Shop (by location) Best Caterer Best Chardonnay Best Chef Best Chinese Best Chocolatier Best Cocktails Best Cupcakes Best Deli Best Diner Best Dining After 10pm Best Dive Bar next page

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The Bohemian’s online 2012 Readers Poll

NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14-20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

24

LOCALLY-OWNED CHOICES! 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351

Best Farmers’ Market Best French Best Frozen Dessert Shop Best Indian (must specify town & complete biz name) Best Italian Best Japanese/Sushi Restaurant Best Mediterranean (must specify town & complete biz name) Best Mexican (must specify town & complete biz name) Best Micro Distillery Best Microbrew Best New Restaurant Best Organic Farm Best Outdoor Dining Best Pinot Noir Best Pizza Best Restaurant Best Sandwich Shop Best Sauvignon Blanc Best Seafood Best Server/Restaurant Best Sparkling Wine Best Spot to Dine Solo Best Syrah Best Thai (must specify town & complete biz name) Best Vegetarian Best Vietnamese Best Wine List Best Winetasting Room Best Zinfandel

400 Family Stuff 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418

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600 Romance 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610

Best Boutique Hotel Best Bridal Shop Best Bridal Beauty Salon Best Couples’ Spa Best Erotica Store Best Event Planner Best Lingerie Shop Best Place for Singles to Meet Best Romantic Dinner Best Staycation

611 Best Wedding Reception Venue

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CULTURE

N A PA

Sweet Escape With the Christmas shopping traffic, endless to-do lists and not-so-jolly family members, the holiday season can be a complete drag.

But the worst aspect of the season is the inescapable droning Christmas music played on repeat everywhere from shopping malls to doctor’s offices. One dependable escape from the horrid holiday jingles, besides barricading yourself in the house for the winter season, is the Grammy award–winning album Go Tell It on the Mountain by the Blind Boys of Alabama, now into their eighth decade.

Experience Christmas music done right on Saturday, Dec. 17, at the Uptown Theatre.

1350 Third St., Napa. 8pm. $40. 707.259.0123.

P E TA L U M A

Ugly Sweaters This year, instead of lying to poor old granny about wearing that hideous sweater she bought you for the holidays, come to the Holiday Hoedown and get some real wear out of it while supporting Petaluma’s COTS program. Arann Harris and the Farm Band present the accompanying Ugly Sweater Contest, which is sure to draw in fashion connoisseurs of the world. Break out that Huxtable-style sweater and rock to the upbeat sounds of openers the California Honeydrops and the Barbary Ghosts on Sunday, Dec. 18, at the Mystic Theater.

23 Petaluma Blvd., Petaluma. 6pm. $10 with can of food; $15 without. 707.765.2121.

HEALDSBURG

Revamped WHEN I COME HOME TO YOU Tony Bennett, the greatest living interpreter of American song, sings Dec. 16 at the Wells Fargo Center.

See Concerts, p30.

Jazz is about reinvention as much as improvisation, and the sassy and angelic-voiced Clairdee revamps tired old

classic Christmas jingles, carrying them into the year 2011. Along with her San Francisco–based sextet, she brings the upbeat sounds of jazz and soul to the holiday season. Before she takes the stage at famed jazz club Yoshi’s, bring a blanket and cuddle up with some loved ones for the show, sponsored by the Healdsburg Jazz Festival, on Sunday, Dec. 18, at the Raven. 415 Center St., Healdsburg. 8pm. $5–$25. 707.522.0330.

SA N R A FA E L

Hot Tea The boys of Tea Leaf Green have had their share of love-induced tribulations.

But though the self-proclaimed “bruised romantics” have been beaten down by love, they’re using their contemporary style to mark their personal sacrifices and triumphs.

Formed in 1996, their most recent album Radio Tragedy is a keeper, but it’s live and onstage where the band shines. The 13year veterans of Tea Leaf Green share their softer side, Saturday, Dec. 17, at the Palm Ballroom. 100 Yacht Club Drive, San Rafael.

9pm. $20–$30. 415.389.5072.

P E TA L U M A

Steady Rollin’ Through frontman Adam Stephens’ raspy voice and anecdotal mentality, the boys of Two Gallants conjure the essence of Billy Joel back in his “Piano Man” days. Much like their car-accident-prone predecessor, the band creates breathtaking imagery from lessthan hopeful content, spinning murderous tales into feel-good jams. Be there when the reformed Gallants brings their folk-meetsmodern-indie-rock sound on Saturday, Dec. 17, at the Mystic Theatre. 21 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 9pm. $21. 707.765.2121.

—Lacie Schwarz

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14-20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

The week’s events: a selective guide

25

Arts Ideas Tom Cooper

NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 14â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

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TANKED Many old water towers have been converted to living spaces; others around the North Bay have not fared as well.

Tower to the Skies Tom Cooperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s water-tower fascination

I

f you own a tankhouse, you probably know Tom Cooper.

Cooper, an 82-year-old Santa Rosa resident, spent three years studying the antique water towers that sprinkle the rural California countryside like rustic battlements.

But Cooper didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t simply read up on tankhouses from the local library; with only a handful of articles and masters theses ever printed on the subject, he did the only thing he couldâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;he scouted them out himself.

On a recent afternoon drive, the retired pharmaceutical marketer

points out seven towers in the space of roughly two square miles near Bennett Valley. Some have been refashioned into living spaces, others are falling into paint-chipped ruin; none of them is particularly noticeable unless, like Cooper, you are looking for one. As he drives, he recounts details learned from knocking on doors. He knows who grows apples, whose tankhouse is inhabited with owls, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never home.

Cooper stops the car and we approach a white, three-story tower topped with a small windmill.

This is the building on the cover

BY RACHEL DOVEY of Cooperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s self-published book Tankhouse and the structure that started his fascination. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The windmill drove a pump down in the well, which pumped water into the redwood tank on the third story,â&#x20AC;? he explains from a garden surrounding the building. He points out that gravity-pressured water ďŹ&#x201A;owed from the tower to the house at just eight pounds per square inch (average household pressure is now between 40 and 50 psi). â&#x20AC;&#x153;It took a long time to ďŹ ll the washing machine,â&#x20AC;? he says.

Like our tour, Cooperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book

is full of oral-history nuggets.

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the tankhouse owner who found the barrel of an 1865 12-gauge muzzle-loading shotgun under his tower. Or the one and only Catholic tankhouseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;built to serve a rectoryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;decorated with the keys of St. Peter and a statue of the Madonna and Child. Or the tower decorated with tribal masks and a severed plastic skeleton.

Between such details, Cooper recounts the history of the three-story towers, found almost exclusively in Northern California.

They provided water to early settlers, starting around 1850.

The stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plentiful redwood was an essential building material; acclimated to creekbeds and fog, redwood could hold water without rotting. Tankhouses continued to be built until the 1930s, when sinking water tables and municipal water systems led to their decline.

On his blog, also called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tankhouse,â&#x20AC;? Cooper has posted an email he received in September from a woman who recognized a tower in his book. It stood on a 16acre, Sonoma County farm owned by her Italian immigrant parents, shown in old photos she submitted of the tankhouse, painted white, surrounded by a clan of accordion players and smiling children.

When the woman was eight, her father died and her mother struggled as the farm fell into disrepair. â&#x20AC;&#x153;By the time she sold our home in 1972, time had already begun to take its toll,â&#x20AC;? she writes of the leaning, windowless shack that remains.

Cooper said he was initially interested in tankhouses because of their elaborate technology, adding that â&#x20AC;&#x153;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an ingenious, perfectly green system.â&#x20AC;? But the kind of exchange illustrated above gave life to his research. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The mechanics are fascinating,â&#x20AC;?

Cooper says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but I loved actually hearing from people.â&#x20AC;?

The Gift of Drama Why not give â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em theater tickets?

BY DAVID TEMPLETON

A

s families assemble together for seasonal camaraderie, it is not uncommon for dinners and social gatherings to become crammed with unwanted drama.

One way to soften the intensity is by giving your loved ones the kind of drama everyone actually appreciatesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the gift of local theater.

Giving theater tickets is a two-way act of generosity, as your purchase not only provides an evening of entertainmentâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s literally money in the bank for local theater companies, who are always grateful for the infusion of cash at this time of year.

The fun in giving theater to friends is in introducing them to styles of theater they might not be familiar with. For those likely to appreciate theater thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highly original, politically charged and a little bit edgy, the Imaginists Theatre Collective in Santa Rosa may be the ticket. Instead of subscriptions, per se, the Imaginists offer â&#x20AC;&#x153;memberships,â&#x20AC;? which grant admission to all of their shows.

Now engaged in their annual winter fundraiser, the Imaginists are planning some interesting experimental projects for the new year.

Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sixth Street Playhouse offers its Flex Pass, which allows holders to choose from the many offerings in their two theaters. The best option might be a Flex Pass for the Studio theater (four shows for $84; $62 for youth and seniors), where the ďŹ rst show of the season has just opened.

In most cases, the best option is to pre-purchase tickets to a speciďŹ c show you know somebody will enjoy. Fortunately, ranging from the Marin Theatre Company in Mill Valley, where the Broadway smash A Steady Rain opens in the new yearâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;up to Main Stage West in Sebastopol, premiering the explosive drama Fault Lines in February, theater is alive and kickingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the perfect gift this holiday season.

SEBASTOPOL GALLERY

Nov 14â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jan 7 Holiday Reception: Dec 3, 5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7pm 150 N. Main St. Sebastopol, Ca 95472 707-829-7200 info@sebastopol-gallery.com

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Untitled by Roy De Forest, Circa 1950 Exhibiting a diverse selection of unusual antique, modern & contemporary artworks.

Calabi Gallery 707.781.7070 | 144 Petaluma Blvd N calabigallery.com

Call today to advertise! 707.527.1200 sales@bohemian.com

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EXTRA BONUS Local theater companies donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have horrible Ticketmaster fees.

Art

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Film

NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

28

JUNGLE RED Charlize Theron plays a drunk revenge-seeker in Minnesota.

On the Mouth

‘Juno’ writer Diablo Cody returns with ‘Young Adult’ BY RICHARD VON BUSACK

A

Spreckels Performing Arts Center BOX OFFICE 707 588-3400

SPRECKELSONLINE.COM

It just clicks.

The new Bohemian.com

s a hack writer for the imaginary Waverly Prep School series of young adult novels, thirtyish and habitually drunk Mavis (Charlize Theron) is the antiheroine of Young Adult. Needing a break, Mavis drives from her condo in Minneapolis to Mercury, the small town where she grew up, with plans to rescue her high school prince, Buddy (Patrick Wilson), from his wife, Beth (Elizabeth Reaser). Unfortunately for Mavis, the couple has just had a new baby, and Buddy shows no sign of dissatisfaction.

The set up is ticklish, but director Jason Reitman and scriptwriter Diablo Cody (Juno) have decided to “alternatize” the film, including nods to the righteous moms Cody knows in Hollywood. At one point, Beth and some friends take a break from breastfeeding to play some bar-rock in a band called Nipple Confusion.

And just how backward is Mercury supposed to be? The town is described as boring and smelly, but the visuals look more like a John Hughes hamlet—bland but clean.

Mavis picks up a drinking buddy, Matt (Patton Oswalt). He’s a pudgy, short beta male still crippled from being queer-bashed decades ago. Oswalt’s Matt is covert, a good reactor, who comically tolerates Mavis’ many moods, and he gives this film some earned bitterness.

Charlize Theron can look convincingly ratty, and slutty and drunk.

She does un-glam things like picking at herself or spitting into a printer’s ink cartridge to prime its pump. Theron is funny, but she’s one-level funny, and watching her Mavis is like watching an SNL skit go on for an hour.

The independent films of the last decade have had loads of nasty, fail-prone, mean-for-the-fun-of-it characters, opposing the idea that movies have to be about pretty people with pretty problems. In Young Adult, Reitman and Cody seem to be attempting that kind of seat-ofthe-pants filmmaking, without having the stomach to go really down and dirty.

‘Young Adult’ opens Friday, Dec. 16, at Boulevard Cinemas in Petaluma.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (G; 87 min.) Hawaiian shirts get digitized in this third installment of the Chipmunks franchise, when Alvin and co. find themselves on a desert island after too much partying on a cruise ship. Good subtitle. With Jason Lee and David Cross. (GB)

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (PG-13; 128 min.) Guy Ritchie directs the sequel to his 2009 hit, with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law reprising their roles.

Holmes’ archenemy Moriarty’s here, played by the excellent Jared Harris. Also stars Rachel McAdams and Stephen Fry. (GB)

Young Adult (R; 94 min.) The director and screenwriter of Juno team up again for Young Adult, starring Charlize Theron as a children’s

Hoover emerges for lunches, dinners and the racetrack with longtime companion Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer). (RvB)

FUNCTIONAL ART

Like Crazy (PG-13; 89 min.) Dram-romcom about a British student and her American classmate whose romance turns to the longdistance type after she violates her visa. (GB)

Melancholia (R; 130 min.) Doomsday, precipitated by a planet on a collision course with Earth, gets the Lars von Trier treatment in the maverick director’s latest. Co-stars Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland and Charlotte Gainsbourg. At Summerfield Cinemas. (GB) The Muppets (PG; 120 min.) The first Muppet movie in 12 years co-stars Amy Adams and Jason Segal (who also wrote the script), who must rally the Muppet gang to save Muppet Theater from the evil oil magnate (Chris Cooper). (GB)

The Holiday Spirit is Here Beautiful Handmade gifts for under $20

book writer coming unraveled. See review, previous page.

My Week with Marilyn (R; 106 min.)

An assistant on the set of The Prince and the Showgirl in 1956 recounts his week spent

ALSO PLAYING

with the bombshell while her husband Arthur Miller is out of town. Stars Michelle Williams as Marilyn. (GB)

fine & fashion jewelry

Anonymous (PG-13; 130 min.) Rhys Ifans

New Year’s Eve (PG-13; 118 min.) Like his previous film, Valentine’s Day, Garry Marshall’s

146 N. Main Street, Sebastopol • 707.829.3036 artisanafunctionalart.com

plays Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford, literary prodigy and paramour of Queen Elizabeth, who watches the authorship of his plays handed to some upstart named Shakespeare as punishment for a failed rebellion. Vanessa Redgrave plays Elizabeth. (GB)

Arthur Christmas (PG; 97 min.) Santa’s second son, Arthur, comes to the rescue when the Claus crew neglect to deliver a gift in this animated film from producers of Wallace & Gromit series. With the voices of Jim Broadbent, James McAvoy and Hugh Laurie. (GB)

The Descendants (R; 115 min.) Matt King (George Clooney) is forced to reconnect with his kids after his wife suffers a boating accident in Hawaii. With Jody Greer, Matthew Lillard and Beau Bridges. (GB) Happy Feet Two (PG; 117 min.) Elijah Wood, Pink, Robin Williams et al. provide the voices for Mumble and his family in the further adventures of . . . (GB) Hugo (PG; 127 min.) Hugo, a young boy sent to live with his uncle who maintains the clocks at a railway station, searches for the missing part, the key to the heart, of the automaton his clockmaker father had found before his death.

Directed by Martin Scorsese in an adaptation of Brian Selznick’s novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret. (GB)

J. Edgar (R; 137 min.) Clint Eastwood’s biopic takes on a half-century of histor. Leonardo DiCaprio plays J. Edgar Hoover, founder of the FBI. Protected from the world by his mother (Judi Dench) and his secretary (Naomi Watts),

latest depicts through a series of vignette’s the various states of the union of a group of couples in New York on New Year’s Eve. With Halle Berry, Robert De Niro, Abigail Breslin, Hilary Swank et al. (GB)

Puss in Boots (PG; 90 min.) Puss in Boots (based on the Shrek character) goes wrong where prequels usually do, by changing the nature of the characters we love in the name of fleshing them out. Naturally, though, there are some lovely sequences. Features the voices of Anotonio Banderas (as Puss), Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis and Billy Bob Thornton. (RvB) The Sitter (R; 82 min.) Comedy from David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) stars Jonah Hill as a jobless underachiever roped into babysitting the scamps next door. Misadventure ensues. (GB) The Skin I Live In (R; 117 min.) Pedro Almodovar’s newest stars Antonio Banderas as a loony plastic surgeon bent on perfecting synthetic skin. At Summerfield Cinemas. (GB)

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 (PG-13; 115 min.) The first part of the adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s final book in her hugely popular Twilight series brings the gang back for Christmas. The second part is due November 2012. (GB)

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (R; 90 min.) Yet another lowcomedy franchise swiping the title from the late-’80s Brady Bunch reunion film. (GB)

NORTH BAY MOVIE TIMES

SonomaMovieTimes.com | MarinMovieTimes.com | NapaMovieTimes.com

necklace by Kristina Kada

NEW MOVIES

112/16 2 /16 – 112/22 2 /22

Santa’s C Santa’s Cool ool H Holiday oliday F ilm F estival NR Film Festival FFri, r i, Sat, Sa t , Sun Sun (4:00pm) (4 : 0 0 pm )

Melancholia M elancholia

R Fri, Fri, SSat, at , SSun un (10:15, (10 :15, 1:00) 1: 00 ) 6:45, 6 : 4 5, 9:40 9 : 40 Mon, (10:15, Mon, Weds, Weds , Thurs Thurs (1 0 :15, 1:00, 1: 00 , 3:50) 3 : 50 ) 6:45, 6 : 4 5, 9:40 9 : 40 Tues Tues (10:15, (10 :15, 1:00, 1: 0 0, 3:50) 3 : 50 ) 9:40 9 : 40

The T he S Skin kin I L Live ive IIn nR (10:30, (10 : 30, 1:15, 1:15, 4:15) 4 :15 ) 7:00, 7: 00 , 9:30 9 : 30 Sun Sun (10:30-4:15) (10 : 30 - 4 :15 ) 7:00, 7: 00 , 9:30 9 : 30

Descendants D escendants PPG13 G13 (11:00, (1 1: 0 0, 11:00, : 00, 22:00, : 00 , 4:00, 4 : 0 0, 5:00) 5 : 0 0 ) 7:00, 7: 0 0, 88:00, : 0 0 , 9:35 9 : 35

My Week My Week with with Marilyn M arilyn R (11:00, (11: 00, 1:30, 1: 30, 3:45) 3 : 45) 7:15, 7:15, 99:35 : 35

Midnight Mi dnight in in P Paris aris PPG13 G13 (10:45am) (10 : 4 5am )

Join uuss ffor Join or performances per formances of of TThe he NNutcracker utcracker from f r om tthe he Bolshoi Bolshoi Theater Theater inin Moscow Moscow on on Sun Sun 12/18 12/18 at at 11pm pm & TTues ues 112/20 2/20 aatt 66:30pm. : 30pm. TTickets icket s oonn ssale ale nnow! ow !

JJoin oin uuss ffor or pperformances er formances ooff SSwan wan LLake ake ffrom rom tthe he BBolshoi olshoi TTheater heater inin MMoscow oscow oonn SSat at 11/7 /7 aatt 11pm pm aand nd TTues ues 11/10 /10 aatt 6:30pm.

6 : 30pm. TTickets icket s oonn ssale ale nnow! ow !

5 51 Summerfield 551 Summer field Road Road Santa S an t a R Rosa osa 7 707-522-0719 07- 52 2- 07 719

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14–20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Film

29

Film capsules by Gary Brandt and Richard von Busack.

Music

NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

30

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Concerts SONOMA COUNTY Tony Bennett Performance by internationally renowned singer of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” Fri, Dec 16, 8pm. $90.50-$140.50.

Wells Fargo Center, 50 Mark West Springs Rd, Santa Rosa.

707.546.3600.

Christmas Jug Band Holiday tour featuring Paul Rogers, Austin de Lone, Tim Eschliman and Ken Jacobs of Rhythmtown-Jive, Greg Dewey and Blake Richardson with special guest Maria Muldaur.

Fri, Dec 16, 8pm. Raven Theater, 115 North St, Healdsburg.

707.433.3145.

Shawn Colvin Grammy winner and ‘80s folk leader selects numbers from venerable career. Wed, Dec 14, 8pm. $36. Mystic Theatre, 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma.

707.765.2121.

www.mombospizza.com

Holiday Hoedown

People’s Music

“The World’s Greatest Music Store”

Journey to the Center of Sonoma County Sound

We Have Something For Every Music Lover!

Micro-fest for whole family featuring Arann Harris and the Farm Band, California Honey Drops, Barbary Ghosts, a raffle and an ugly sweater contest.

Sun, Dec 18, 6pm. $5-$15.

Mystic Theatre, 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma. 707.765.2121.

Hot Victory Caitlin Love, skin-pounder extraordinaire, leads twodrummer band in unique experiment to destroy all humankind. With Sweet TV Henry and Teenage Sweater.

Sat, Dec 17, 8pm. $5. Arlene Francis Center, 99 Sixth St, Santa Rosa. 707.528.3009.

Soulful Sounds of the Season Holiday jazz concert with Clairdee backed by small jazz combo. Sun, Dec 18, 6:30pm. $5-$25. Raven Theater, 115 North St, Healdsburg.

707.433.3145.

Two Gallants San Francisco guitar-drum duo play following Magic Trick. Sat, Dec 17, 9pm. $21. Mystic Theatre, 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma.

707.765.2121.

Klezmatics Grammy-winning AmericanYiddish roots band, sponsored

by Cumulus and the Jewish Community Center. Sat, Dec 17, 8pm. $25-$30. Sebastopol Community Cultural Center, 390 Morris St, Sebastopol.

707.823.1511.

Christine Lavin Enduring folk singer plays lovely rustic venue with Uncle Bonsai, Larry Murante and Darryl Purpose. Sat, Dec 17, 8pm. $25. Studio E, address with ticket, rural Sebastopol. www.northbaylive.com.

Songwriters in Sonoma for FISH Christmas Spectacular featuring performers from throughout the 2011 Songwriters in Sonoma series in benefit show to raise funds for F.I.S.H. (Friends In Sonoma Helping). Thurs, Dec 15, 7pm. $15. Meadowcroft Wines, 23574 Arnold Dr, Sonoma.

707.934.4090.

MARIN COUNTY Celebrate the Holidays Krista Bennion Feeney joins New Century Chamber Orchestra as soloist for holiday concert series. Sun, Dec 18, 5pm. $29-$49. Osher Marin JCC, 200 N San Pedro Rd, San Rafael. 415.444.8000.

Christmas Jug Band Holiday tour with with Paul Rogers, Austin de Lone, Tim Eschliman and Ken Jacobs of Rhythmtown-Jive, Greg Dewey and Blake Richardson, with Mark Pitta Tuesday Comedy Show opening. Tues., Dec 20, 8pm. 142 Throckmorton Theatre, 142 Throckmorton Ave, Mill Valley. 415.383.9600.

Christmas Jug Band with Bonnie Hayes Part of the 35th Anniversary YuleTour, with Beso Negro opening. Thurs, Dec 15, 8:30pm. $20. George’s Nightclub, 842 Fourth St, San Rafael. ) 415.226.0262.

32

Just check this list: J Ukulele 㾎

J Banjo J Fiddle J Mandolin J Bass 㾎 J Guitar J Saxophone J Clarinet J Flute J Drums J Percussion J Keyboards J Dulcimer J Celtic Harp 㾎 J Harmonica J Music Book 㾎

J Recorder J Pan Pipes J Rain Stick J Bamboo Flute J Kazoo J Tule J Bo J African 㾎 Drums J Nose Whistle 㾎 J Microphone J Headphones J Mallets J Sticks 㾎 J Picks J Harmonium

Instrument Sales & Rentals Repairs • Books How-to Videos & Lessons from REAL MUSICIANS!

J Gong J Bodhran 㾎 J Dumbek J Indian Drum J Rattle J Shaker J Tambourine J Shakeree J Mark 㾎 J Strings J Sheet Music 㾎 J Kalimba J Tuner 㾎 J Metronome J Slide J Hoytus

J Chris J Cowbell J Cleaner J Swabs J Autoharp J Cases J Jews Harp J Cords 㾎 J Straps J Shakers J Alastair J Reeds 㾎 J Eggs J Frogs 㾎 J Laughter J Pins J Oil J Charts 707-823-7664 J Expertise 122 N. Main St • Sebastopol 㾎 J Advice www.peoplesmusiconline.com J Ruth KRAZY KATS The Klezmatics play Dec. 17 at the Sebastopol Community Center.

See Concerts, above.

31 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14-20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

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Music ( 30

NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

San Francisco five-piece play holiday show. Sat, Dec 17, 9pm. $20-$30. Palm Ballroom, 100 Yacht Club Dr, San Rafael.

Tea Leaf Green

FLAMBEAU DON’T FORGET…WE SERVE FOOD TOO!

McNear’s Dining House Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner BBQ • Pasta • Steak WED 12/14 • 7:00PM DOORS • $36 • 16+ FOLK

SHAWN COLVIN PLUS RITA HOSKING THUR 12/15 • 7:00PM DOORS • $17 • 21+ JOHNNY CASH TRIBUTE BAND

CASH’D OUT PLUS IZZY & THE CATASTROPHICS SAT 12/17 • 8:00PM DOORS • $21 • 16+ FOLK/BLUES/ROCK

TWO GALLANTS PLUS MAGIC TRICK SUN 12/18 • 5:00PM DOORS $10 WITH 3 CANS/$15 WITHOUT KIDS FREE WITH CANS • ALL AGES FOLK/AMERICANA/BLUES

HOLIDAY HOEDOWN WITH ARANN HARRIS AND THE FARM BAND THE CALIFORNIA HONEYDROPS & THE BARBARY GHOSTS PLUS

THUR 12/29 • 8:00PM DOORS • $25ADV/$28 DOS • 21+ ROCK

AN EVENING WITH

CRACKER & CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN SAT 12/31 • 8:00PM DOORS • $51 ADV/$56 DOS • 21+ BLUES

NYE WITH

Saturday, Dec 17

Wed, Dec 14 8:45–9:45am Jazzercise 10am–12:15pm Scottish Country Dance Youth & Family 5:45–6:45pm Jazzercise 7–10pm Singles & Pairs Square Dance Club Thur, Dec 15 8:45–9:45am; 5:45–6:45 Jazzercise 5:45–6:45pm Jazzercise 7:15–10pm Circles N’ Squares Fri, Dec 16 8:45–9:45am Jazzercise 7:30–11pm North Bay Country Dance Society/ Contra Dance hosts DRIVING WITH FERGUS xmas gala–dessert potluck Sat, Dec 17 8–9am; 9:15–10:15am Jazzercise 7–11pm DJ Steve Luther presents FLAMBEAU Sun, Dec 18 8:30–9:30am Jazzercise 10:30–11:30am ZUMBA GOLD WITH TONING 5:30–9:30pm DJ Steve Luther Country Western Lessons & Dancing $10 Mon, Dec 19 8:45–9:45am; 5:45–6:45pm Jazzercise 7–10pm Scottish Country Dancing Tues, Dec 20 8:45–9:45am; 5:45–6:45pm Jazzercise 7:30–9pm African and World Music Dance

Santa Rosa’s Social Hall since 1922 1400 W. College Avenue • Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 • www.monroe-hall.com

DIN N E R & A SHOW

S INGER /SONGWRITER S ERIES Dec 15 HOSTEDBY LAURALEE BROWN 7:00pm / In The Bar

DAVE JENKINS, JAIME KYLE, Dec 16 TAL MORRIS Fri

An Evening of Acoustic Music 8:00pm / No Cover

JOHNNY ALLAIR’S Dec 17 C HRISTMAS ROCK & ROLL

DANCE PARTY ! 8:30pm S ANTA & MRS CLAUS 2:00–4:00pm 18 Dec T IM CAIN ’S Sun

Family Christmas Sing Along 4:00–6:00pm

A L L YO U C A N E AT C R AB F E E D W EE K E N DS

PLUS DAVID JACOB-STRAIN SUN 1/22 • 7:30PM DOORS • $23 ADV/$25 DOS • 21+ ACOUSTIC/FUNK/ROCK

AN EVENING WITH

KELLER WILLIAMS No Children Under 10 Allowed For All Ages Shows

23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma

707-765-2121 www.mcnears.com

Reservations Advised

Thur

TOMMY CASTRO BAND

Dec 23–24 & 30–31

(RESERVATIONS REQUIRED)

Fri

Dec 23 Sat

Dec 24

T HE R ANCHO ALLSTARS

FEATURING ALLEGRA

Great Dance Music 8:30pm O UR 5TH A NNUAL GOSPEL C HRISTMAS EVE DINNER SHOW

T HE KINGDOM T RAVELERS

Fri

7:00pm FAUX NEW Y EAR’S EVE

Sat

THEIR 9TH ANNUAL NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY!

Dec 30 Dec 31

Blind Boys of Alabama Christmas show with openers Sara and Sean Watkins of Nickle Creek. Dec 17, 8pm. $40.1350 Third St, Napa.

707.259.0123.

Brandi Carlile Singer-songwriter in a solo show. Secret Sisters open.

Dec 16, 8pm. $30-$40. SOLDOUT. 1350 Third St, Napa.

707.259.0123.

Celebrate the Holidays Violinist Krista Bennion Feeney joins New Century Chamber Orchestra for Christmas classics. Dec 14, 8pm. $30-$35.

Napa Valley Opera House, 1030 Main St, Napa.

707.226.7372.

Drummer Boy VOENA multicultural children’s choir sings a cappella holiday music. Dec 17, 7:30pm. $15-$35.

Napa Valley Opera House, 1030 Main St, Napa.

707.226.7372.

BUTCH WHACKS AND THE GLASS PACKS THE ZYDECO FLAMES 415.662.2219

On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com

Dec 16, Powerhouse. Dec 17, Fusion. Tues, 8pm-12am, Swing night with lessons.

Sun, 7pm, Salsa with lessons.

2777 Fourth St, Santa Rosa.

707.545.8530.

French Garden Restaurant Dec 16, Hot Frittatas. Dec 17, Moonbeams. 8050 Bodega Ave, Sebastopol. 707.824.2030.

Gaia’s Garden Dec 14, De Fe. Dec 15, Wine Country Swing. Dec 16, Carlos Aguilar. Dec 17, Ruminators. Tues, Jim Adams. 1899 Mendocino Ave, Santa Rosa. 707.544.2491.

Hopmonk Sonoma Dec 16, Courtney Janes. Dec 17, Dan Martin. 691 Broadway, Sonoma. 707.935.9100.

Hopmonk Tavern Dec 15, Juke Joint with Sammy Bliss, Bass Cadet, Malarkey.

Dec 16, Winter Funderland Theme Party with Tornado Rider. Dec 17, Shotgun Wedding Quintet. Dec 19, MNE Singers Series with Peetah Morgan.

Tues, 7:30pm, Open mic night.

230 Petaluma Ave, Sebastopol.

707.829.7300.

Magic Trick (see Concerts).

Dec 18, Holiday Hoedown (see Concerts). 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma. 707.765.2121.

North Light Books & Cafe Dec 15, Timothy O’Neil Band.

Thurs, 5:30pm, Open Mic. 550 E Cotati Ave, Cotati.

707.792.4300.

Northwood Restaurant Thurs, 7pm,Thugz. 19400 Hwy 116, Monte Rio. 707.865.2454.

Phoenix Theater Dec 16, Andre Nickatina and Brotha Lynch Hung. Dec 17, Thrive with Bellyfull, Frenzied and Domenic Bianco.

201 Washington St, Petaluma.

707.762.3565.

The Rocks Fri and Sat, Top 40 DJs hosted

by DJ Stevie B. 146 Kentucky St, Petaluma. 707.782.0592.

Russian River Brewing Co Dec 17, Old Jawbone. Dec 18, Ian Scherer and Fat City.

725 Fourth St, Santa Rosa.

707.545.BEER.

Society: Culture House

Wed, Brainstorm. Sun, Open Mic. 6957 Sebastopol Ave, Sebastopol. 707.829.2062.

Wed, Gallery Wednesday, DJs and art curated by Jared Powell. Thurs, Sultry Salsa night. Sun, Rock ‘n’ Roll Sunday School. 528 Seventh St., Santa Rosa, no phone.

New Age label’s holiday special featuring Liz Story, Barbara Higbie and Lisa Lynne. Dec 16, 8pm. $16-$20. Napa Valley Opera House, 1030 Main St, Napa. 707.226.7372.

Lagunitas Tap Room

Spancky’s

Dec 14, Jenny Kerr. Dec 15, Machiavelvets. Dec 16, JimBo Trout. Dec 17, Jinx Jones.

Dec 18, Grandpa Banana.

1280 N McDowell Blvd, Petaluma. 707.778.8776.

Dec 16, Hookah Stew. Dec 17, Counterbalance. Thurs, 9pm, DJ Dray Lopez.

8201 Old Redwood Hwy, Cotati. 707.664.0169.

Toad in the Hole Pub

Clubs & Venues

Last Day Saloon

Third Sunday of every month, Robert Herrera, Brianna Lee, Josh Barrett. 116 Fifth St, Santa Rosa. 707.544.8623.

Windham Hill Winter Solstice

Lunch & Dinner Sat & Sun Brunch

Sat

NAPA COUNTY

Flamingo Lounge

SONOMA COUNTY Aqus Cafe Dec 14, Open Jazz Jam. Dec 16, The Mighty Groove. Every Sunday, Sunday Jazz. 189 H St, Petaluma. 707.778.6060.

Arlene Francis Center Dec 17, Hot Victory, Sweet TV Henry, Teenage Sweater (see Concerts). 99 Sixth St, Santa Rosa. 707.528.3009.

Aubergine Dec 15, Rockin4aCure.

Dec 16, Fruition with Nat Keefe and Eric Yates of Hot Buttered Rum. Dec 17, Beatles Holiday Celebration.

Dec 18, Moonbeams.

755 Petaluma Ave, Sebastopol.

707.829.2722.

Jasper O’Farrell’s

Dec 14, Potatomen, John Courage, Eight Belles, BJ Robbins. Thurs, Live Pro Jam. Dec 16, Reggae Christmas with Sol Horizon, Inner Riddim and Version. Dec 17, Monkey Fight Comedy Night presents Roast of DJ Rob Cervantes. 120 Fifth St, Santa Rosa. 707.545.2343.

Main Street Station Dec 14, Phat Chance Quartet.

Dec 15, Susan Sutton. Dec 17, Yancie Taylor. Dec 18, Haute Flash Quartet. Dec 19, Willie Perez. 16280 Main St, Guerneville. 707.869.0501.

Murphy’s Irish Pub Wed, 7:30pm, Trivia Night.

464 First St, Sonoma.

707.935.0660.

Mystic Theatre Dec 14, Shawn Colvin (see Concerts). Dec 15, Cash’d Out plus Izzy & the Catastrophics.

Dec 17, Two Gallants plus

Tradewinds Thurs, DJ Dave. Dec 17, Sorentinos. Dec 18, Tim O’Neal.

8210 Old Redwood Hwy, Cotati.

707.795.7878.

Transient Lounge Dec 17, Nescience with 26MPH, Ammo Wagon and Diana Car Fire. Thurs. through Dec 31, Reggae Night. 400 Todd Rd, Santa Rosa. 707.583.9080.

Wells Fargo Center Dec 16, Tony Bennett (see Concerts). 50 Mark West Springs Rd, Santa Rosa.

707.546.3600.

MARIN COUNTY 142 Throckmorton Theatre Dec 16, Matt Jaffe and friends.

DeSilvaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fri, DJ Ken and Alton.

1535 S Novato Blvd, Novato.

415.892.5051.

Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nightclub Dec 16, Sista Monica Parker CD release plus GG Amos Blues Band. Dec 17, Drew Harrisonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s acoustic tribute to John Lennon. 842 Fourth St, San Rafael. 415.226.0262.

Rahmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Songwriters in the Round. Dec 16, Fantasia and Flannelhed. Dec 17, Monophonics. Dec 18, Crosby Tyler. Dec 20, Andre and Friends. 29 Broadway, Fairfax.

415.459.9910.

Rancho Nicasio Dec 15, Singer Songwriter Series. Dec 16, Tiny Television.

Dec 17, Johnny Allairâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Dec 18, Tim Cainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Family Christmas Sing Along. Town Square, Nicasio. 415.662.2219.

Dec 14, Kinky Buddha. Dec 17, Cozy Winter Music Series with Jafar Thorne. 765 Center Blvd, Fairfax. 415.485.1005.

Nickel Rose

Servino Ristorante

Mon and Wed-Sun, DJ dance. 848 B St, San Rafael.

415.454.5551.

Dec 15, David Corea and Cascada. Dec 16, Lisa Battle.

Dec 17, Nick Rossi. 9 Main St, Tiburon. 415.435.2676.

19 Broadway Club Dec 14, Benefit for Richie Gillingham with Honeydust.

Dec 15, Soundproof Intl. Dec 16, Norrisman with Lumanation and Bass Culture. Dec 17, Elephant Listening Project, 5 Minute Orgy and Bitch Franklin.

Dec 18, Lonestar Retrobates.

Mon, 9pm, Open mic. Tues, 9pm, Uzilevsky Korty Duo with special guests. Third Friday of every month, Reggae and dancehall. 19 Broadway, Fairfax.

415.459.1091.

Sleeping Lady Dec 14, Finger-style Guitar Showcase. Dec 15, Danny Clickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Texas Blues Night. Dec 16, HoneyDust. Dec 17, Helm.

Dec 18, Namely Us. 23 Broadway, Fairfax.

415.485.1182.

Osher Marin JCC Dec 18, Celebrate the Holidays (see Concerts).

200 N San Pedro Rd, San Rafael. 415.444.8000.

Osteria Divino

Station House Cafe Dec 18, Paul Knight and friends.

11180 State Route 1, Pt Reyes Station. 415.663.1515.

Dec 15, North Bay Blues Jam with Maple Station Express. 902 Main St, Napa.

707.258.2337.

Napa Valley Opera House Dec 14, Celebrate the Holidays (see Concerts).

Dec 16, Windham Hill Winter Solstice (see Concerts).

Dec 17, Drummer Boy (see Concerts). 1030 Main St, Napa.

707.226.7372.

Siloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dec 14, A Very Special Acoustic Audio Farm. Dec 16, CR Vibes.

Dec 17, A Cappella Finals. Dec 18, Holly Stell. 530 Main St, Napa.

707.251.5833.

San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s City Guide

Tommy Guerrero Street skating legend and musician plays benefit for SF Food Bank. Dec 15 at Cafe du Nord.

FUSION

RB, FUNK, DANCING! RB, DANCE

FRI, DEC 23 SUGARFOOT FRI, DEC 30 GREAT DANCE SAT , DEC 24 CHRISTMAS EVE, NO BAND

CHRISTMAS BUFFET

SUN DEC 25

IN THE TERRACE GRILLE, 10AMâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;4PM $ 27 95 adult, $1295 kids, kids 4 and under free

BUFFET RESERVATIONS: 707.523.4745

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE PARTY! SAT DEC 31

ELECTRIC AVENUE

CALL: 707.545.8530 EXT â&#x20AC;&#x153;0â&#x20AC;?

CHECK US OUT ONLINE: BARSPACE.T V

SIX NIGHTS A WEEK OF LIVE ENTERTAINMENT $5 FRIDAYS / $10 SATURDAYS

Happy Hour Mon-Fri 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6pm $ 4 ~ Single Liquor Well Drinks, Draft Beer, House Wine Salsa Sundays 8pmĂ&#x160;UĂ&#x160;Karaoke Wed & Thur 9pmâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;12am West West CCoast o ast Swing Swin g TTues u es 88pm pm

The Pharcyde â&#x20AC;&#x153;Passinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Me Byâ&#x20AC;? hitmakers take their bizzare ride to the jazz club with live band. Dec 16 at Yoshiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SF.

Pianist and singer with a new album, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Night of Hunters,â&#x20AC;? out on classical label. Dec 16 at the Paramount Theater.

After defining â&#x20AC;&#x153;crossover,â&#x20AC;? seminal hardcore band returns playing classic â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dealing with Itâ&#x20AC;?-era thrash. Dec 16 at Slimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.

Tori Amos The Naked & Famous New Zealand buzz band working actively on the latter, lackadaisically on the former.

Dec 18-19 at the Independent.

More San Francisco events by subscribing to the email letter at www.sfstation.com.

THUR T HUR â&#x20AC;&#x201C;DEC â&#x20AC;&#x201C;DEC 15 15 W WEEKLY EEKLY E EVENT VENT JJUKE UKE JOINT J O I NT

GHETTO G HET TO FFUNK/BOOGIE U N K / B O O GI E B BREAKS/GYPSY R E A K S / GY P S Y D DOODLE O O D LE

SAMMY S AMMY BLISS, BLISS, B BASS ASS CADET, CADET T, MALARKEY MALARKEY $3 $ 3H HAMMSâ&#x20AC;ŚCAUSE AMMSâ&#x20AC;ŚCAUSE WE WE GET GET HAMMY! H A M MY ! $5/DOORS $ 5/ D O OR S 1 10PM/21+ 0PM /21+

F FRI RI â&#x20AC;&#x201C; DEC DEC 16 16

MONKEY M ONKEY BIZ B IZ E EVENTS VENTS PRESENTS PR E S E N T S

PSYHEDELIC P SYHEDELIC ROCK/HIP ROCK / HIP HOP/JAMGRASS HOP/JAMGRASS

WINTER W INTER FFUNDERLAND U N D E R L AN D T THEME HEME P PARTY AR T Y W ITH T WITH TORNADO ORNADO R RIDER IDER

+ CHRIS CHRIS PECK PECK AND AND HILLSIDE HILLSIDE FIRE FIRE $$14/DOORS 14/ DOORS 9PM/21+ 9PM /21+

S SAT AT â&#x20AC;&#x201C; DEC DEC 17 17

HOPMONK H OPMONK P PRESENTS R ESE NT S HIP H IP H HOP/JAZZ/FREESTYLE OP/JA ZZ / FREEST YLE

SSHOTGUN HOTG GUNW WEDDING EDDING QUINTET QUINTET +A ACTIV-808 CTIV-808 (808 ( 808 BAND BAND & RADIOACTIVE) RADIOACTIVE ) $$15/DOORS 15/ DOORS 9PM/21+ 9PM /21+ EVERY E VERY 1 1ST ST S SUN UN B R I AN N A S AGE PRESENTS PR E S E N T S BRIANNA SAGE

SUN S UN â&#x20AC;&#x201C; D DEC EC 18 18

POETRY/SPOKEN PO ETRY/ SPOKEN WORD/LYRICISM WORD / LYRICISM

NORTH N ORTH BAY BAY POETRY POETRY SLAM SLAM ONE YEAR YEAR ANNIVERSARY ANNIVERSARY

SANTA S ANTA ROSAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S RO SAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FAVORITE FAVO R ITE RESORT, R ESO RT, S O NO M A C O U NT Y â&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BEST B E ST V A LU E SONOMA COUNTYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S VALUE

7 0 7- 5 4 5 707-54 5-853 - 85 3 0 eexx tt.. 7 727 27 ww w.Flaming o Res or t.c o m www.FlamingoResort.com

++PATRICK PATRICK OH. OH. +CHRIS + CHRIS CHANDLER CHANDLER +JACOB +JACOB WARD WARD + FELICIT Y ++JORDAN JORDAN RRANFT ANFT ++IAN IAN CCARNES AR N E S +FELICITY +LEO + LEO BRYANT BRYANT +MR. + MR . WILL WILL LYON LYON + MEMBERS OF OF SUNDAY SUNDAY GRAVY GR AV Y & ACTIVE ACTIVE 808 808 +MEMBERS

$$5/DOORS 5/ DOORS 7P 7PM/ALL M /ALL AAGES GES WEEKLY W EE EK KLY E EVENT VENT T THE HE WBLK W B LK D DANCEHALL AN C E H ALL M MASSIVE A SS I V E PRESENTS P R ESE NT S M MNE NE SINGERS SI N G E R S W WITH ITH

MON M ON â&#x20AC;&#x201C; DEC DEC 1 19 9

PEETAH P EET TAH M MORGAN ORGAN

IU T

Historic

Mighty Diamonds & Lumination Dec 17 t QN t )PMJEBZ 1BSUZ The Thugz and Dgiin Dec 31 t QN t t /FX :FBS T 1BSUZ

The Tubes featuring Fee Waybill Send GPSNFSMZ 5JNNZ

Panama Hotel Restaurant

Dec 14, Miracle Mule. Dec 15,

SAT DEC 17

Dec 9 t QN t t 8PSME 'BNPVT 3FHHBF

D.R.I.

Periâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Silver Dollar

POWERHOUSE

RIVER THEATRE

Dec 14,Carlos Oliveira. Dec 15, Suzanna Smith. Dec 16, Sandra Aran. Dec 17, Joan Getz Quartet.

Dec 18, Julio de la Cruz. Dec 20, Michael Feskes. 27 Caledonia St, Sausalito.

Dec 14, Lauralee Brown and Company. Dec 15, Deborah Winters with Jean Michel Hure and special guests. Dec 20, Swing Fever Christmas with Bing, Frank, Nat and what about Irving. Tues, Swing Fever.

4 Bayview St, San Rafael.

415.457.3993.

FRI DEC 16

NAPA COUNTY Downtown Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

33

The LOUNGE

,OJH + F SS Z

Old Western Saloon Dec 16, Lonestar Retrobates.

Main Street, Pt Reyes Station.

415.663.1661.

Dec 15, Chris Carney and Two Rock Ramblers. Dec 16, Midnight Sun. Dec 16, Mike Gibbons. Dec 17, Perfect Crime.

Dec 18, Arann Harris and Farm Band. Wed, Philip Claypool and friends. 224 Vintage Way, Novato. 415.899.9600.

Sausalito Seahorse Dec 15, Darlene Langston. Dec 16, Georges Lamman. Dec 17, Johnny Z. Wed. through Dec 28, Tango Argentino with Marcelo Puig and Seth Asarnow. Mon, Local talent onstage. Tues, Jazz jam. Sun, Salsa class. 305 Harbor View Dr, Sausalito.

Iron Springs Pub & Brewery

Southern Pacific Smokehouse

Tickets available at the door 16135 Main Street, Guerneville

707.869.8022

OFF M O MORGAN O R G AN H HERITAGE ERITAGE

$3 $ 3 RED RED STRIPES STRIPES ALL ALL N NIGHT IGHT $$10 10 LIMITED LIMITED P PRESALE/$15 RESALE/$15 D DOS OS D OORS 110PM/21+ 0PM /21+ DOORS TUES T UES â&#x20AC;&#x201C;DEC â&#x20AC;&#x201C;DEC 20 W WEEKLY EEK EKLY E EVENT VENT BILL B ILL DECARLI DECARLI PRESENTS PR E S E N T S ANYTHING A NY THING GOES GO E S

OPEN O PEN MIC MIC NIGHT NIGHT

FFREE/DOORS R EE / D O O R S 7 7PM/ALL PM /ALL AGESâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;10PM AGESâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;10PM T THUR HUR â&#x20AC;&#x201C;DEC â&#x20AC;&#x201C;DEC 22 22 W WEEKLY EEKLY E EVENT VENT

JJUKE UKE JOINT J O I NT

GHETTO G HET TO FFUNK/BOOGIE U N K / B O O GI E B BREAKS/GYPSY R E A K S / GY P S Y D DOODLE O O D LE

RANDOM R ANDOM R RAB AB

((SOLSTICE SOLSTICE CELEBRATION) CELEBRAT TION )

+ DELPHI DELPHI (GODDESS (GODDESS A ALCHEMY LCHEMY P PROJECT) ROJECT) YE YEKRALAM KRALAM $15/ $ 15/ D DOORS OORS 10PM/21+ 10PM /21+

FRI F RI â&#x20AC;&#x201C; D DEC EC 23 23

BOOZE B OOZE P PIRATE IR ATE P PRESENTS R E SE NT S ALT/INDIE/ROCK A LT/ INDIEE/ ROCK

7TH 7 TH ANNUAL ANNUAL

UGLY U GLY XMAS XMAS S SWEATER WEATER PARTY PA RTY

+8 8TH TH G GRADER, RADER, FR FRANKIE ANKIE B BOOTS. OOTS. ELI ELI $10/DOORS $ 10 / DOORS 8 8:30PM/21+ : 30PM /21+

MON M ON â&#x20AC;&#x201C; DEC DEC 26 26

WEEKLY W EEKLY EVENT EVE VENT WBLK W BLK D DANCEHALL ANCEHALL MASSIVE MASSIVE P PRESENTS R E SE NT S

MONDAY M ONDAY N NIGHT IGHT EEDUTAINMENT DUT TAINMENT WBLK W BLK & S SPECIAL PECIAL G GUEST U E ST

DJJ S D SMOKY MOKY

$3 R $3 RED ED S STRIPES T R I PE S A ALL LL NIGHT N I G HT $$5/LADIES 5/ LADIES FREE FREE B4 B4 11PM/DOORS 11PM / DOORS 10PM/21+ 10PM /21+

NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14â&#x20AC;&#x201C;20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Dec 17, Narada Michael Waldenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Holiday Benefit Concert. Dec 18, Happy Birthday Frank (Sinatra tribute). 142 Throckmorton Ave, Mill Valley. 415.383.9600.

Music Zohn Mandel

NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

34

NO PARKING DJs, art shows, street

food and more are back on Seventh Street.

Bring That Beat Back Breaking the curse at Society: Culture House

BY JACQUELYNNE OCANA

I

t’s no coincidence that the description for Evan Phillips’ new Santa Rosa club is “Culture House.” Like an underground Casa de la Cultura in Mexico City, Society: Culture House— enjoying a successful soft opening since October— lends itself to gatherings of subcultures breeding creativity and social reflection.

With this concept in mind, Phillips, a veteran Bay Area DJ and hip-hop artist known as TRUTHLiVE, is attempting to rebrand one of Santa Rosa’s largest and most infamous clubs.

In its incarnation as Seven Ultralounge, the space gained a reputation as downtown’s most notorious nightclub. The location was under close scrutiny by police and city officials, and in late 2007 was served papers by the city

attorney’s office three inches thick.

Two new owners have attempted to revive the club since.

Taking on the venue might seem like risky business, but Phillips insists, “I don’t believe in curses. I believe in business plans and staffing, marketing and programming and culture.”

The philosophy behind Phillips’ mindset is confident and unconventional. While most clubs attract patrons with specific lifestyles, Society: Culture House attracts a broad clientele. “The demographic we are targeting is intelligent, conscious people regardless of what it is they are into,” explains Phillips. “Genre has become irrelevant. People don’t identify so closely with one group as they used to; it’s more about identifying a general mentality.”

A case in point is Gallery Wednesdays, this past summer’s widely popular dance-art party that attracted a wide spectrum.

Revived by Society’s resident curator Jared Powell, a local artist is showcased monthly on the walls of the club, while fresh talent flows through weekly.

Long-running dance party Rock ’N’ Roll Sunday School takes over Sunday nights, and Thursday nights get steamy with reggae party Casa Rasa. Brunch and bottomless mimosas make up Hangover Sundays, starting at 10am, and glossy dance parties like Neon and Kaleidoscope have taken up residency on weekend nights.

Society: Culture House has a number of other changes.

The interior is undergoing the beginning stages of an “industrial earthiness,” coming together with custom-made chandeliers and pop-culture visuals in technicolor collage. Gourmet street food is offered until 2am nightly, with current menus including grilled lime chicken tacos with tomatillo salsa, fried chicken sliders with harissa aioli and bacon-wrapped hot dogs with grilled jalapeños.

That’s a lot of culture under one roof. But if attendance and the vibe from the last two months are any indicators, Phillips is finally breaking the curse.

Society: Culture House, 528 Seventh St., Santa Rosa

35

Galleries OPENINGS Dec 14 From 8 to 11pm. Society: Culture House, live painting by Joe Leonard and Jared Powell.

528 Seventh St, Santa Rosa.

Dec 18 At 3pm. Gallery Route One, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Romancing the Chair,â&#x20AC;? featuring Candace Loheed, and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sightlines,â&#x20AC;? with work

by Sarah Myers, Joe Fox and others.

11101 Hwy 1, Pt Reyes Station. Wed-Mon, 11 to 5. 415.663.1347.

SONOMA COUNTY Arts Guild of Sonoma Through Jan 1, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Holiday Invitational and Memberâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Show.â&#x20AC;? 140 E Napa St, Sonoma.

Wed-Thurs and Sun-Mon, 11 to 5; Fri-Sat, 11 to 8. 707.996.7648.

Buddhaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Palm Tattoo Gallery Through Jan 6, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Down the Rabbit Hole,â&#x20AC;? with works by Ricky Watts. 313 Main St, Sebastopol. Tues-Wed and FriSat, noon to 8; Sun, noon to 4.

707.829.7256.

Charles M Schulz Museum Through Jan 29, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Flipside of Schulzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Art: More Than Peanuts,â&#x20AC;? original drawings by Charles Schulz. $5-$8. Through Apr 2, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hit the Road, Snoopy!â&#x20AC;? featuring the beagleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most famous road trips. 2301 Hardies Lane, Santa Rosa.

Mon-Fri, noon to 5; Sat-Sun, 10 to 5. 707.579.4452.

City Hall Council Chambers Through Dec 23, Oil paintings

by Mark Jacobson. 100 Santa Rosa Ave, Ste 10, Santa Rosa.

707.543.3010.

Finley Community Center Through Dec 22, Intertwined Artists Group show on mirrored objects. 2060 W College Avenue, Santa Rosa. Mon-Fri, 8 to 7; Sat, 9 to 1. 707.543.3737.

Gaiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Garden Through Dec 23, Caren Catterall, fine art intaglio prints.

1899 Mendocino Ave, Santa Rosa. 707.544.2491.

Gallery of Sea & Heaven Through Dec 31, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Make Yourself at Home,â&#x20AC;? exhibit of unusual home and garden accessories.

312 South A St, Santa Rosa.

Wed-Sat, noon to 5 and by appointment. 707.578.9123.

Graton Gallery Through Jan 16, â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Picture is Worth 500 Words (or Less),â&#x20AC;? watercolors by Sally Baker paired with poetry and prose.

9048 Graton Rd, Graton. TuesSun, 10:30 to 6. 707.829.8912.

Hammerfriar Gallery Through Feb 2, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Group Show,â&#x20AC;? with new works by Andre Cisernos-Galido, Jerry Cohen and others. 132 Mill St, Ste 101, Healdsburg. Tues-Fri, 10 to 6.

Sat, 10 to 5. 707.473.9600.

Institute of Noetic Sciences Through Jan 12, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Errant Horizons,â&#x20AC;? an exhibition of paintings by Catherine J Richardson sponsored by Lucid Art Foundation.

101 San Antonio Rd, Petaluma.

415.669.7585.

Llewellyn Gallery Through Dec 31, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Current Show,â&#x20AC;? featuring bronze sculptures, figurative nudes, paintings and lithographs.

6525-A First St, Forestville.

707.887.2373.

Occidental Center for the Arts Through Jan 7, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Inside/Out Gallery Showâ&#x20AC;? with various artists. Graton Road and Bohemian Highway, Occidental.

Oddfellows Lodge Through Dec 28, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Lesters Store,â&#x20AC;? curated arts, antiques and design pop-up store.

21021 Geyserville Ave, Geyserville. 415.572.8232.

Pelican Art Through Jan 7, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Small Worksâ&#x20AC;? with various artists. 143 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma.

Open Tues-Thurs and Sat, 11 to 6; Fri, 11 to 8; SunMon by appointment only.

707.773.3393.

Petaluma Arts Center Through Jan 8, Bronson Tufts

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honored at Membersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Annual Exhibition. 230 Lakeville St at East Washington, Petaluma.

707.762.5600.

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Through Jan 10, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Year in Review,â&#x20AC;? featuring portraits by Murray Rockowitz. 40 Fourth St, Petaluma. 707.762.8150.

Quicksilver Mine Company Through Dec 24, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ramblinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Modes,â&#x20AC;? an evolving window display by Monty Monty.

Through Jan 1, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Esse Quam Videriâ&#x20AC;? with Harley. 6671 Front St, Forestville. Thurs-Mon, 11 to 6.

707.887.0799.

RiskPress Gallery Through Dec 29, sculptures by Stephen Fitz-Gerald.

7345 Healdsburg Ave, Sebastopol. No phone.

Riverfront Art Gallery Through Jan 8, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weaverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dream,â&#x20AC;? featuring paintings and scarves by Karen Spratt.

Also through Jan 8, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Patagonia and Atacama Desert,â&#x20AC;? with photographs by Lance Kuehne.

132 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma.

Wed, Thurs and Sun, 11 to 6. FriSat, 11 to 8. 707.775.4ART.

Sebastopol Center for the Arts Through Dec 31, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Annual Members Show,â&#x20AC;? featuring works by current SCA members in various media. 6780 Depot St, Sebastopol. Tues-Fri, 10 to 4; Sat, 1 to 4. 707.829.4797.

Society: Culture House Wednesdays, Music and art curated by Jared Powell, featuring December artist Joe Leonard. Reception, Dec 14.

528 Seventh St., Santa Rosa, no phone.

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Welcoming W elcoming D DJ J Larry L arry back b ack to to Kodiaks!

Kodiaks!

Through Feb 5, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Customized: The Art and History of the Bicycle,â&#x20AC;? with bicycle innovations, art bikes, regional history and more. Through Jan 22, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Singgalot,â&#x20AC;?

Smithsonian Institution Traveling Exhibition on history of Filipino Immigrants in America. 425 Seventh St, Santa Rosa. Tues-Sun, 11 to 4.

707.579.1500.

Sonoma Valley Museum of Art Through Jan 1, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sonido Pirata,â&#x20AC;?

) 37

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Low Cost Vaccination Clinics every Sunday, 9:30-11:30am

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Arts Events

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Paper ap per er Toy Toy Making M Making ng Class Clas C sss Sat, Sat, Sat t December Dece Dec 17 ca for reservations: call reser tions 707 7 70 .284.1 84.1 1 63 1263 707.284.1263 Shop op p the Museum m Stor Store St re for exclusive Peanuts products Get Crafty fty this Holiday Holida Ho y with our winter cartooning and aart rt classes Explore re our current ex exhibitions e hibitions there’s th ’ always l something thi new!!

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NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14-20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

36

Hardies Rosa 2301 H ardies LLane, ane, Santa S R osa www.SchulzMuseum.org ww w.SchulzMuseum.org Q (707) 579-4452 BRING IN THIS AD FOR $2 OFF ADULT ADMISSION Expires res 2/1/12 #300746 Good people.

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Be s t Costume Best C os t u me Shop Shop Best B e s t Erotica Er o tica Shop Shop Marin M arin

Gaia’s Garden International Vegetarian Buffet = F F ;ÝD L J @ :Ý8 I KÝ: F D D L E @ K P

C as t Y Cast Your our 2012 2 012 Votes V otes ffor or Us! Us !

Wed Dec 14, 7–9 French Cafe Music

E n t er O Enter Our ur D Dec ec R Raffle a f f le $RAWING $ R AWING G Grand r and P Prize— r ize —

Da Fe Thurs Dec 15, 7–9 Guitar and Pedal Steel

Wine Country Swing Fri Dec 16, 7–9 Latin

$$200 200 G Gift if t C Certificate! er t i f ic a t e !

J oin oour Join ur eemail mail llist ist events@pleasuresoftheheart.com e vents @ pleasuresof thehear t.com 415.482.9899 4 15.4 8 2. 9 8 9 9 11310 310 F Fourth our th S St. t. @ C C,, S San an R Rafael afael Find us on facebook: www.facebook.com/oftheheart www.facebook.com/ofthe eheart

,OVER S 0LAYTHINGS s 3ENSUAL ,INGER ,OVER S 0LAYTHINGS s 3ENSUAL ,INGERIE S IE 'IFT #ERTIFICATES s *EWELRY

Carlos Aguilar Sat Dec 17, 8–10 Folk Made Funky

The Ruminators Sat Dec 19, 7–9 Master Jazz Piano

Greg Hester 3AT $EC s $15 New Years Eve with

Jayne Russell Call for reservations

&INE "EERS 7INES s $ 4 minimum Delicious food at a reasonable price

Mon–Sat 11:30am–9pm 1899 Mendocino Ave Santa Rosa

707-544-2491 www.gaiasgardenonline.com

Brazilian Waxing $40 Touchstone Therapies Your Brazilian Wax Specialist!

707.331.0631

37 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14–20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

SCROOGE Before George C. Scott came Alastair Sim, in the 1951 version of

‘A Christmas Carol’ screening Dec. 19 and 21 at the Sebastiani Theatre. See Film, p38.

Arts Events curated exhibit dealing with the phenomenon of pirated music. Free-$8. 707.939.7862.

551 Broadway, Sonoma. WedSun, 11 to 5.

Tin Barn Vineyards Through Dec 31, “Thanks Any/Way: A Photographic Exploration of Gratitude.”

21692 Eighth Street East, Ste 340, Sonoma.

707.938.5430.

Towers Gallery Through Dec 31, “Nouveau Holiday,” featuring various artists. 240 North Cloverdale Blvd, Ste 2, Cloverdale.

707.894.4331.

MARIN COUNTY ARTrageous Gallery Ongoing, inaugural exhibit featuring Roberta Ahrens, Harriet Burge and others.

857 Grant Ave, Novato. TuesSat, 11 to 6, Sun 11 to 4, Thurs 11 to 8. 415.897.8444.

Elsewhere Gallery Through Dec 31, “Wearable Art,” featuring the fine art jewelry of five local artists.

1828 Sir Francis Drake Blvd, Fairfax. Daily, 11 to 6.

415.526.2855.

( 35 Gallery Bergelli Through Jan 31, “Winter Group Show,” featuring works by gallery artists Bryn Craig, Willam DeBilzan and others.

483 Magnolia Ave, Larkspur.

415.945.9454.

Gallery Route One Dec 16-Jan 22 “Romancing the Chair,” featuring Candace Loheed. Reception, Dec 18 at 3. Dec 16-Jan 22 “Sightlines,” with work by Sarah Myers, Joe Fox and others. Reception, Dec 18 at 3. 11101 Hwy 1, Pt Reyes Station. Wed-Mon, 11 to 5. 415.663.1347.

Marin Community Foundation Through Jan 3, “Collective Actions” featuring artists from Artisans, Bolinas and Stinson Open Studios and Gallery Route One, among others. 5 Hamilton Landing, Ste 200, Novato. Open Mon-Fri, 9 to 5.

Marin MOCA Through Jan 15, “Agent of Change,” featuring work of late Bay Area sculptor and activist Mary Tuthill Lindheim.

Novato Arts Center, Hamilton Field, 500 Palm Dr, Novato.

415.899.8200.

Marin Society of Artists Through Dec 17, “Small Treasures and Gifts” featuring small artworks and jewelry by members. 30 Sir Francis Drake Blvd, Ross. Mon-Thurs, 11 to 4; Sat-Sun, 12 to 4.

415.454.9561.

O’Hanlon Center for the Arts Through Dec 29, Animalia Spirit, with totems and shamanistic emblems juried by Diana Marto. 616 Throckmorton Ave, Mill Valley. Tues-Sat, 10 to 2; also by appointment.

415.388.4331.

Painters Place Through Jan 14, “Painters Place,” paintings by Christin Coy and Richard Lindenberg.

1139 Magnolia Ave, Larkspur.

415.461.0351.

Red Barn Gallery Through Jan 6, “Grounded: A California Indian Life,” art by Miwok/Pomo artist Kathleen Rose Smith. Dec 9 at 2, demonstration and tasting of California Indian native foods.

1 Bear Valley Rd, Pt Reyes Station. 415.464.5125.

Seager Gray Gallery Through Jan 14, “New Paintings,” featuring the work of Leslie ) Allen. 23 Sunnyside

38

You’ll click with us.

The new Bohemian.com

NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

38

Arts Events Ave, Mill Valley. Tues-Sat, 11 to 6, Fri-Sat, 11 to 7; Sun, 12 to 5.

415.384.8288.

NAPA COUNTY

( 37 Nutcracker Santa Rosa Dance Theater presents holiday classic. $20-$25. Spreckels Center, 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. 707.588.3400.

West Side Stories Storytelling forum an offshoot of popular “Moth” series and gives 10 storytellers five minutes to weave a tale.

Second Wed monthly at 7:30. $5. Pelican Art, 143 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma. 707.773.3393.

Di Rosa Through Feb 11, “Looking at You Looking at Me,” featuring the photography, video and other media selected from the di Rosa collection by curator Robert Wuilfe. 5200 Carneros Hwy, Napa. Wed-Fri, 9:30 to 3. Sat, by appointment only.

707.226.5991.

Downtown Napa Oct 19-April 2013, “Momentum: Art that Moves (Us),” second annual interactive public art exhibition ARTwalk. Free..

707.257.2117. First Street and Town Center, Napa.

Hess Collection Winery Ongoing, private collection with work by Andy Goldsworthy, Francis Bacon, Frank Stella and other modern masters.

4411 Redwood Rd, Napa. Daily, 10 to 5:15. 707.255.1144.

Napa Valley Museum Through Jan 29, “Dreams of Toyland” featuring presentations by Dolph Gotelli. Wed-Mon, 10 to 5.

55 Presidents Circle, Yountville.

707.944.0500.

Wildcat Clothing Fridays First Friday of the month, 6-9, “Virgin-a-GoGo,” featuring Virgin de la Guadalupe art by 25 artists.

1210 First St, Napa.

Comedy George’s Nightclub Wed, Dec 14, Comedy Wednesday with Will Durst, Deb and Mike and Special Guests. At 8. $10-$15.

842 Fourth St, San Rafael.

415.226.0262.

142 Throckmorton Theatre Tues at 8, Tuesday Evening Comedy Mark Pitta hosts ongoing evenings with established comics and up-and-comers. $15-$20.

142 Throckmorton Ave, Mill Valley. 415.383.9600.

Dance The Nutcracker Dec 16-18, 2 and 7pm, The

Events Adoptable Photography Exhibit Through Jan, Napa Humane Society launches traveling exhibit to show faces of adoptable animals. Alexis Baking Co, 1517 Third St, Napa.

707.255.8118.

Book Sale Friends of Mill Valley Library holds monthly sale of all genres of literature and reference books, CDs and videos. Third Sat of each month, 9 to 4:30. Mill Valley Library, 375 Throckmorton Ave, Mill Valley. 415.389.4292.

Food Not Bombs Help prepare and serve free vegan meals every Sun afternoon; served at 5. Sun. Courthouse Square, Third Street and Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa. 415.408.8094.

Pacific Coast Air Museum Third weekend of every month from 10 to 4, folks are invited to play pilot in a featured aircraft. $5. Pacific Coast Air Museum, 2330 Airport Blvd, Santa Rosa.

707.575.7900.

Prophecies & Predictions Every Thurs at 7, astrologer Glenn Arthur Kaufmann analyzes charts and answers questions. $10. Private residence, 5735 Wildwood Mountain Rd, Santa Rosa, 707.KEY.STAR.

San Anselmo Art Walk Third Thurs monthly, 5 to 8; includes changing shows at venues including Ross Valley Winery, 343 San Anselmo Ave. 415.457.5157, and Green Fusion Design Center, 14 Greenfield Ave. 415.454.0174.

Science Buzz Cafe Every Thurs at 6:30, gather with scientists and amateur science fans to discuss weekly topics. Dec 15, Part one of BBC video on Chinese ships that visited America around 1421. Thu. $3 donation. Coffee Catz, 6761 Sebastopol Ave, Sebastopol. 707.292.5281.

Field Trips Wildlife Refuge Restoration Volunteers needed for seed collection, growing plants in the nursery and maintenance.

Dec 16-17, 9 to 12. Free. Sonoma Land Trust, 966 Sonoma Ave, Santa Rosa. 707.769.4200.

Film The Met: Live in HD High-definition opera broadcasts from the Metropolitan Theatre in NYC. Dec 14, “Faust.” $16-$23.

Jackson Theater, Sonoma Country Day School, 4400 Day School Place, Santa Rosa.

The Nutcracker Classic broadcast from the Bolshoi theater, as part of ongoing Ballet and Opera streaming series. Dec 1820, 1 and 6:30pm. $12-$20.

Summerfield Cinemas, 551 Summerfield Rd, Santa Rosa. 707.522.0719.

Vintage Film Series Through December, classic films on the big screen. Dec 19 at 7 and Dec 21 at 1, “A Christmas Carol” (1951). Sebastiani Theatre, 476 First St E, Sonoma. 707.996.9756.

Food & Drink Civic Center Farmers Market Sun at 10am, “Eat Local 101” provides walking tour with information, cooking advice and ideas inspired by locally grown foods. Thu, 8am-1pm and Sun, 8am-1pm. Marin Civic Center, 3501 Civic Center Dr, San Rafael. 800.897.3276.

Friday Night Bites Interactive classes with tastes every

) 40

39 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14-20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

Library, 14107 Armstrong Woods Rd, Guerneville.

707.869.9004.

NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 14– 20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

40

Orff Music & Creative Movement Develop vocal, rhythmic and dance skills using singing, folk dancing and other methods.

Every Wed. Register online.

Wischemann Hall, 460 Eddie Lane, Sebastopol.

Loheed are up at Gallery Route One. See Galleries, p37.

Arts Events Fri at 6. $75. Fri. Cavallo Point, 601 Murray Circle, Fort Baker, Sausalito. 888.651.2003.

Santa Rosa Farmers Markets Sat, 9 to 12. Oakmont Drive and White Oak, Santa Rosa.

707.538.7023. Wed and Sat, 8:30 to 12. Wed and Sat. Veterans Memorial Building, 1351 Maple Ave, Santa Rosa.

707.522.8629.

For Kids Bay Area Discovery Museum Ongoing, “Animal Secrets.”

Hands-on art, science and theater camps, art studio, tot spot and lookout cove adventure area. $5-$6. Fri at 11, aquarium feeding. Dec 34,10-11 and 17-18, “Gingerbread Architecture Fundraiser,” $30-$40. Ongoing. Admission: $8-$10. Bay Area Discovery Museum, Fort Baker, 557 McReynolds Rd, Sausalito.

415.339.3900.

Carolyn Parr Nature Center Learn about Napa County

( 38 habitats and birds of prey through tours, dioramas, games, hands-on activities and books. Ongoing. Free.

Carolyn Parr Nature Center Museum, Westwood Hills Park, 3107 Browns Valley Rd, Napa.

707.255.6465.

Central Library Babytime, Tues at 10:15.

Storytime for toddlers, Tues at 11. Preschool storytime, Fri at 11. Tue-Fri. Free. Central Library, Third and E streets, Santa Rosa.

707.545.0831.

Chops Teen Club Hang-out spot for Santa Rosa teens ages 12 to 20 offers art studio and class, open gym, tech lounge, cafe, recording studio and film club. Hours for high schoolers: Mon-Thurs, 3 to 9; Fri, 3 to 11; Sat and school holidays, noon to 11. For middle school kids: Mon-Fri, 3 to 7; Sat and school holidays, noon to 7. Film club meets Tues at 4. Ongoing. Membership, $5$10 per year. Chops Teen Club, 509 Adams St, Santa Rosa.

707.284.2467.

Guerneville Library Wed at 11, preschool storytime.

Wed, 11am. Free. Guerneville

To Kill a Mockingbird

Santa Arrives by Boat

Thurs, Dec 15, 7pm, “On the Road to Las Cruces,” book signing and reading celebrating the publication of Pat Nolan’s recent novel. 16355 Main St, Guerneville. 707.869.2242.

Ross Valley Players present classic play, directed by James Dunn. Thurs at 7:30, Fri and Sat at 8 and Sun at 2. Thru Dec 18. $17-$25. Barn Theatre, Marin Art and Garden Center, 30 Sir Francis Drake Blvd, Ross.

415.456.9555.

Santa Claus cruises up the river and comes to a stop at Boat Shack, where he will be available for lap-sitting. Sun, Dec 18, 3pm. Nick’s Cove, 23240 Hwy 1, Marshall.

415.663.1033.

Theater

Petaluma Library

Almost, Maine

Tues at 10, storytime for ages three to five; at 3, read to a specially trained dog from PAWS for Healing.

Wed at 10, babytime; at 7, evening pajama storytime in Spanish and English. Fri at 10, storytime for toddlers.

Sat at 4, parent-child reading group for second- and third-graders. Tue-WedFri. Petaluma Library, 100 Fairgrounds Dr, Petaluma.

707.763.9801.

A Christmas Carol

Sandpipers Explore Camouflage

‘ROMANCING THE CHAIR’ Chairs by Candance

River Reader

Children ages 2-4 explore sanctuary while naturalist teaches about camouflage.

Thu, Dec 15, 9:30am. $20.

Richardson Bay Audubon Center, 376 Greenwood Beach Rd, Tiburon.

415.388.2524.

St Helena Library Tues at 10:30, Wed at noon and Fri at 10, story and craft time. TueWed-Fri. St Helena Library, 1492 Library Lane, St Helena.

707.963.5244.

Readings Book Passage

Vignettes set in mythical town of Almost, Maine. Dec 15-18, Thurs, Fri and Sat, at 8, Sun and Dec 17 at 2. $10-$25. Sixth Street Playhouse, 52 W Sixth St, Santa Rosa. 707.523.4185.

Musical version of the classic holiday tale. Dec 15-17 at 8, Dec 4, Dec 11 at 3. $10-$20. Novato Theater Company, 484 Ignacio Blvd, Novato. 415.883.4498.

The Glass Menagerie Play presented in honor of Tennessee Williams’ centennial.

Through Dec 18, Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat at 8, Wed at 7:30; Sun at 7, Dec 8 at 1, Dec 3, 17 and every Sun at 2. $34$55. Marin Theatre Company, 397 Miller Ave, Mill Valley. 415.388.5208.

Miracle on 34th Street Staged radio broadcast of Christmas classic with Pegasus Theater Company. Dec 15-18, 2 and 8pm. $5-$15. Rio Nido Roadhouse, 14540 Canyon 2 Rd, Rio Nido. 707.869.0821.

Santaland Diaries David Yen starts in David Sedaris’ adapted play about Macy’s during the Christmas rush. Dec 2-18, Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2:30. $19$22. Spreckels Performing Arts Center, 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. 707.588.3400.

Willy Wonka Roald Dahl’s timeless story as a musical performed by Cinnabar Young Rep. Shows Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.

Thru Dec 18. $10-$12. Cinnabar Theater, 3333 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma. 707.763.8920.

Holidays Dance for Single Professionals Christmas get-together sponsored by Society of Single Professionals. Fri, Dec 16, 8pm. $10. Embassy Suites Hotel, 101 McInnis Pkwy, San Rafael.

Fireside Stories with Tim Ereneta Story-telling for all ages in front of roaring fire, sponsored

by Sonoma Valley Museum of Art. Dec 16 at 7. $10 adults, kids free. The Art Garage, 21787 Eighth Street East #11, Sonoma.

707.939.7862.

Miracle on 34th Street Staged radio show version of the classic performed by Pegasus Theater Company.

Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. Dec 15-18. $5-$15. Pegasus Theater Company, Rio Nido Lodge, Canyon Two Rd, Rio Nido.

707.522.9043.

Sherry Studio’s Tapcracker Join Clara and the Tapcracker (T.C. for short) as they venture into the realm of dancing Christmas trees, snow moms, Sugar Plum Barbies and rappin’ mice in this “jazzier” version of the original. At 2 and 5:30.

Sat, Dec 17. Marin Center, 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael.

415.499.6800.

Sophie and the Enchanted Toy Shop Sophie takes a magical journey to the Snow Kingdom in this holiday ballet. At 1 and 5.

Sat, Dec 17. Marin Center, 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael.

415.499.6800.

’Tis the Season: A Winter Fantasy Featuring composer Ralph Vaughan Williams, the Christmas music of John Rutter and the Caroling Kids.

At 4. Sun, Dec 18. Marin Center, 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. 415.499.6800.

The BOHEMIAN’s calendar is produced as a service to the community. If you have an item for the calendar, send it to calendar@bohemian. com, or mail it to: NORTH BAY BOHEMIAN, 847 Fifth St, Santa Rosa CA 95404. Events costing more than $65 may be withheld.

Deadline is two weeks prior to desired publication date.

Dec 14 at 1pm, Holiday Gift Books Review with Elaine Petrocelli and Friends. Dec 14 at 7pm, “A House with No Roof: After My Father’s Assassination: A Memoir,” with Rebecca Wilson. Dec 17 at 4pm, “The Rare Find: Spotting Exceptional Talent Before Everyone Else” with George Anders. 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera.

415.927.0960.

Point Reyes Books Thurs, Dec 15, 7pm, Carla Steinberg reading “The Nick of Time: A Christmas Fable.”

Dec 18, 2pm, “Elizabeth Bishop: Life and the Memory of It.” Presentation by Eric Karpeles with readings by Melissa Smith on the troubled life of the master writer. 11315 Hwy 1, Pt Reyes Station. 415.663.1542.

FROM THE HEART Rebecca Wilson discusses ‘A House With No Roof: After My Father’s Assassination’ at Book Passage Dec. 14. See Readings, p39.

41 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 14-20, 201 1 | BOH EMI A N.COM

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NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 14-20, 20 1 1 | BO H E M I AN.COM

42

Astrology

FREE WILL

BY ROB BREZSNY

For the week of December 14

ARIES (March 21–April 19) Jim Moran (1908– 1999) called himself a publicist, but I regard him as a pioneer performance artist. At various times in his colorful career, he led a bull through a china shop in New York City, changed horses in midstream in Nevada’s Truckee River and looked for a needle in a haystack until he found it. You might want to draw inspiration from his work in the coming weeks, Aries.

You will not only have a knack for mutating cliches and scrambling conventional wisdom. In doing so, you could also pull off feats that might seem improbable.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20)

One possible way to tap into the current cosmic opportunities would be to seek out storegasms—the ecstatic feelings released while exercising one’s buyological urges in consumer temples crammed with an obscene abundance of colorful material goods. But I advise you against doing that. It wouldn’t be a very creative solution to the epic yearnings that are welling up in your down-belowand-deep-inside parts. Instead, I offer a potentially far more satisfying recommendation: routinely maneuver yourself into positions where your primal self will be filled up with sublime wonder, mysterious beauty and smart love.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) I’m not an either-or type of person. I don’t think that there are just two sides of every story and that you have to align yourself with one or the other. That’s one reason why, as an America voter, I reject the idea that I must either sympathize with the goals of the Democratic Party or the Republican Party. It’s also why I’m bored by the trumped-up squabble between the atheists and the fundamentalist Christians, and the predictable arguments between dogmatic cynics and fanatical optimists. I urge you to try my approach in the coming weeks, Gemini. Find a third way between any two sides that tend to divide the world into Us against Them.

CANCER (June 21–July 22)

No one actually looks like the retouched images of the seemingly perfect people in sexy ads. It’s impossible to be that flawless, with no wrinkles, blemishes and scars. Acknowledging this fact, the iconic supermodel Cindy Crawford once said, “I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford.” Our unconscious inclination to compare ourselves to such unrealistic ideals is the source of a lot of mischief in our lives. Your assignment in the coming week, Cancerian, is to divest yourself, as much as possible, of all standards of perfection that alienate you from yourself or cause you to feel shame about who you really are. (More fodder to motivate you: tinyurl.com/SoftKill.)

LEO (July 23–August 22) Barney Oldfield (1878– 1946) was a pioneer car racer who was the first ever to run a 100-mile-per-hour lap at the Indianapolis 500. He was a much better driver while setting speed records and beating other cars on racetracks than he was at moseying through regular street traffic. Why? He said he couldn’t think clearly if he was traveling at less than a hundred miles per hour. I suspect you may temporarily have a similar quirk, Leo—not in the way you drive but rather in the way you live and work and play. To achieve maximum lucidity, you may have to be moving pretty fast.

VIRGO (August 23–September 22)

Back in August 2010, there was an 11-day traffic snarl on a Chinese highway. At one point, the stuck vehicles stretched for 60 miles and inched along at the rate of one mile per day. In that light, your current jam isn’t so bad. It may be true that your progress has been glacial lately, but at least you’ve had a bed to sleep in and a bathroom to use, which is more than can be said for the stranded Chinese motorists and truck drivers. Plus I’m predicting that your own personal jam is going to disperse sometime in the next few days. Be prepped and ready to rumble on.

LIBRA (September 23–October 22) Here’s a joke from Woody Allen’s movie Annie Hall: “Two elderly women are in a Catskills Mountain resort, and one of them says, ‘Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.’

The other one says, ‘Yeah, I know—and such small portions.’” Is it possible you’re acting like the second woman, Libra? Are you being influenced to find fault with something that you actually kind of like? Are you ignoring your own preferences simply because you think it might help you to be close to those whose preferences are different? I urge you not to do that

in the coming week. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it’s very important that you know how you feel and stay true to your feelings.

SCORPIO (October 23–November 21) The Los Angeles school district dramatically downgraded the role that homework plays in the life of its students.

Beginning this fall, the assignments kids do after school account for only 10 percent of their final grade. As far as you’re concerned, Scorpio, that’s not a good trend to follow. In fact, I think you should go in the opposite direction. During the enhanced learning phase you’re now entering, your homework will be more important than ever. In order to take full advantage of the rich educational opportunities that will be flowing your way, you should do lots of research, think hard about what it all means and in general be very well-prepared. The period between late 2011 and early 2012 is homework time for you.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) The Amazon is the second longest river in the world, and has such a voluminous flow that it comprises 20 percent of all river water in the world. And yet there is not a single bridge that crosses it. I love that fact. It comforts and inspires me to know that humans have not conquered this natural wonder. Which leads me to my advice for you this week, Sagittarius. Please consider keeping the wild part of you wild. It’s certainly not at all crucial for you to civilize it.

CAPRICORN (December 22–January 19) Emotion is the resource we treasure when we’re young, says poet Naomi Shihab Nye, but eventually what we thrive on even more is energy. “Energy is everything,” she says, “not emotion.” And where does energy come from? Often, from juxtaposition, says Nye. “Rubbing happy and sad together creates energy; rubbing one image against another.” That’s what she loves about being a poet. Her specialty is to conjure magic through juxtaposition. “Our brains are desperate for that kind of energy,” she concludes. I mention this, Capricorn, because the coming weeks will be prime time for you to drum up the vigor and vitality that come from mixing and melding and merging, particularly in unexpected or uncommon ways.

AQUARIUS (January 20–February 18) Studies show that if you’re sharing a meal with one other person, you’re likely to eat up to 35 percent more food than if you’re dining alone. If you sit down at the table with four companions, you’ll probably devour 75 percent extra, and if you’re with a party of eight, your consumption may double. As I contemplate your horoscope, these facts give me pause. While I do suspect you will benefit from socializing more intensely and prolifically, I also think it’ll be important to raise your commitment to your own physical health.

Can you figure out a way to do both, please?

PISCES (February 19–March 20)

“Were it not for the leaping and twinkling of the soul,” said psychologist Carl Jung, “human beings would rot away in their greatest passion, idleness.” To that edgy observation I would add this corollary: One of the greatest and most secret forms of idleness comes from being endlessly busy at unimportant tasks. If you are way too wrapped up in doing a thousand little things that have nothing to do with your life’s primary mission, you are, in my opinion, profoundly idle. All the above is prelude for the climactic advice of this week’s horoscope, which goes as follows: Give everything you have to stimulate the leaping and twinkling of your soul.

Go to REALASTROLOGY.COM to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. Audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1.877.873.4888 or 1.900.950.7700.

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